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Bowen Yang
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Matt Rogers
Date for you're Cordially Invited, a hilarious new wedding comedy starring Will Ferrell and Reese Witherspoon.
Bowen Yang
Chaos weddings are accidentally booked on the same weekend at the same venue. Uh oh.
Matt Rogers
Will Ferrell plays the father of the bride and Reese Witherspoon is the sister of the other bride, and they go head to head to make sure the ones they love get their special day together on screen.
Bowen Yang
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Matt Rogers
Watch January 30th on Prime Video.
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Matt Rogers
Look man, there. Oh I see.
Bowen Yang
My, oh my Bowen, look over there.
Matt Rogers
Is that culture?
Bowen Yang
Yeah.
Matt Rogers
Oh my goodness.
Bowen Yang
Las Culturistas Ding dong. Las Culturistas calling. We needed some laughter today.
Matt Rogers
Oh yes, on a week like this. I used to dream of better days.
Bowen Yang
I used to dream and I hoped I'd never wake up.
Matt Rogers
I had my first amazing sleep of I guess the year, but I guess the last like six months.
Bowen Yang
Oh, I've been sleeping so bad. What? What? What would you attribute your good sleep to?
Matt Rogers
No more Eye mask. No more.
Bowen Yang
Oh, you're not using it anymore.
Matt Rogers
It's crazy. I think it's the winter time. This is so deeply boring to talk about. But I.
Bowen Yang
Let's just skip it.
Matt Rogers
Let's skip. We need to talk about here. No, no, no.
Bowen Yang
Don't.
Matt Rogers
Don't come in here.
Bowen Yang
It's. I don't like the posture that you have right now.
Matt Rogers
I have a frog ass bitch.
Bowen Yang
You're a frog ass bitch.
Sarah Sherman
Because I have an explanation as to why I'm sitting like this.
Matt Rogers
What's the.
Bowen Yang
Go ahead. And so why don't we just. So you had a first thing you wanted to say in quot the first thing.
Matt Rogers
Sarah brought a gun to the studio.
Bowen Yang
That's what she wanted us to say.
Matt Rogers
You better. I have a first thing to say. And you better ask me again. Even though this is not what we do with our repeat guests. Ask me again. What was the culture that you say culture for me? What's your explanation for this?
Sarah Sherman
I have to say like this because as you know, I came to the.
Bowen Yang
Studio today with a triangle head, which means is my. Is my hair a triangle?
Matt Rogers
A pyramid head, like in Silent Hill.
Bowen Yang
I couldn't tell if you wanted to be told yes or no.
Sarah Sherman
I just like no. If you guys are my friends, you'd be like, girl, you do have triangle heads at night. But that's okay. And just rock it.
Bowen Yang
I told you what you have, you have. It's not a triangle shape. It's an isosahedron. A 20 sided figure.
Matt Rogers
Not the name.
Sarah Sherman
Cause I said an isosahedron. Boots.
Bowen Yang
Can you look that up?
Matt Rogers
20 sided.
Bowen Yang
A 20 sided figure. Something isahedron.
Sarah Sherman
Oh my God. I thought you were kidding for being hilarious at this point. Know how to. Okay. I thought it was saon.
Bowen Yang
I saw Sagon.
Sarah Sherman
I saw Sagon.
Matt Rogers
I saw the TV Sagon.
Bowen Yang
I saw the TV glow. Sagon.
Matt Rogers
I saw the TV glow Sagon.
Sarah Sherman
I had a drink the other night. I. I sauced Sagong.
Matt Rogers
Sure.
Bowen Yang
Our guest is a cast member on Saturday Night Live. She's been on the show before and she is, you know, just one of our great friends.
Matt Rogers
One of our great. Although this is. I can I just say, the power of the room. Directed by Jane Champion. Power of the room. This is the first time the three of us have been in the room together.
Sarah Sherman
No.
Bowen Yang
Well, you know what happened?
Sarah Sherman
That's crazy.
Bowen Yang
I took a very short hiatus. I believe it was a one episode.
Matt Rogers
Hiatus because you were in Vegas seeing Kelly Clarkson.
Bowen Yang
I was in Vegas doing my thing and you were the guest and I was like, great, Now I have to have her turn. Obviously right back around and come back.
Sarah Sherman
That's actually crazy.
Bowen Yang
Why?
Sarah Sherman
Because there was one episode you weren't on, and it just happened to be the episode that your sister was on.
Bowen Yang
I know.
Sarah Sherman
Long Island Runner running. We like the same things. I guess your thing is going to make us see Kelly Clarkson.
Matt Rogers
It could be yours.
Bowen Yang
It could be yours, too. You want to come? I'm going again to see Mariah Shania.
Matt Rogers
Oh, I literally just found out that I'm available and I'm going, Mariah, Shania.
Sarah Sherman
Does that mean I am available too or.
Matt Rogers
Yes, it means you're available to want to come.
Bowen Yang
Either come.
Matt Rogers
Wait.
Sarah Sherman
Vegas.
Bowen Yang
Vegas.
Matt Rogers
Lots. We're going to have such a ball.
Sarah Sherman
Vegas.
Bowen Yang
I'm a loss.
Matt Rogers
Are you Sarah's favorite thing is. And let's examine this. It could be troubling. Is she always. Every week is going. We're blacking out this week at the after party.
Sarah Sherman
By the way. First of all, never once happens. And number two, guess how much it takes me to black out. Maybe four and a half point two sips of one gin and togg. Oh, snack.
Bowen Yang
Not a tank at all.
Sarah Sherman
Oh, no, not a Sherman tank. As they would like to think pancakes on the ceiling after a sip.
Matt Rogers
You're kidding me.
Bowen Yang
That's disgusting.
Sarah Sherman
Well, to. To blackout immediately.
Bowen Yang
I thought. Wait, is pancakes on the ceiling meaning you throw up so hard, hits the.
Sarah Sherman
Ceiling and never comes like random sauce?
Matt Rogers
Wait, what's the reason you were sitting like that?
Sarah Sherman
So I could just like, kind of like you wouldn't really see the triangle.
Matt Rogers
There's no triangle.
Bowen Yang
You know what I'm saying?
Sarah Sherman
Like, guys, I just like, he drawn.
Bowen Yang
The correct name of it. It's not an isosagon. She clearly said. Becca clearly said she couldn't pronounce it. She threw a bunch of sounds together in her mouth. And you.
Sarah Sherman
Rebecca explained it.
Matt Rogers
That's Rebecca.
Bowen Yang
I've never even thought of you as being a Rebecca.
Matt Rogers
Rebecca.
Sarah Sherman
Wait, your necklace literally not to be.
Bowen Yang
Like, oh, she's wearing a Rebecca necklace.
Sarah Sherman
Yeah, because my mother was like, this is my gift to you in very Latin fashion. I'm gonna give you a giant gold.
Matt Rogers
So with your name on it.
Bowen Yang
With your name on it. Okay.
Sarah Sherman
But I always go by Becca.
Matt Rogers
Okay.
Sarah Sherman
It's very formal to me.
Bowen Yang
Rebecca is sort of like how you forget that my full name is Matthew. If you really think about it for even two seconds, you'll remember, right? But you would have. You wouldn't have known.
Sarah Sherman
Wait until you find out about the Power of Sarah Nicole.
Matt Rogers
Sarah Nicole.
Bowen Yang
Sarah Nicole should be your stage name. Sarah. Sarah Nicole.
Sarah Sherman
That's my, like, alley.
Matt Rogers
It's like your billboard.
Bowen Yang
It's like, I just want to see, like, an Angelinas photo and, like, all over with just Sarah Nicole, you big titties rocking out.
Sarah Sherman
I want. I want a Rebecca nameplate that says Jewish American princess. Wow. I'm. Sarah Nicole presents Pump it up with.
Matt Rogers
Sarah Nicole, Jewish American princess.
Bowen Yang
Don't you know? Pump it up? We have to get into it. Everyone, please welcome into your ears, Sarah Sherman.
Sarah Sherman
Sarah triangle Sherman.
Bowen Yang
Sarah triangle Sherman.
Matt Rogers
What's the first name?
Bowen Yang
Sarah Nicole.
Matt Rogers
Sarah Nicole, what was the first thing you had to say? You remember what that was it.
Sarah Sherman
The triangle. I tried to get it out of the way. I just had to because I knew everybody was gonna be like, sorry, your readers are gonna be opening the book and seeing that I had.
Matt Rogers
First of all, I don't make fun of it.
Bowen Yang
I don't like the way that you.
Matt Rogers
You bitch.
Bowen Yang
You had poison venom wrapped around every word of that. Your readers are gonna open the book.
Sarah Sherman
I'm feeling naughty today.
Matt Rogers
Okay.
Sarah Sherman
So serious.
Matt Rogers
There's something I can't stop thinking about. As we're watching the new season of the Traitors, Sarah has boiled it down to that show basically being people saying to each other. People say to each other, this. This. You're being evil.
Bowen Yang
You're being like.
Sarah Sherman
All reality and, like, pretense melts away.
Matt Rogers
Forget where all pretends.
Sarah Sherman
But it's like they're forgetting that it's a game, right?
Bowen Yang
No, I love that. I love when the lines blur and people are really crying hard and feel betrayed. Like, when. Okay, so spoiler alert for the traders. If you haven't watched it, we're going to talk a little bit about it. When Tony got voted out, that was like, crazy. You're a sellout.
Matt Rogers
You're sellout.
Bowen Yang
You're a sellout.
Matt Rogers
Rob, you're a cop.
Bowen Yang
I was.
Matt Rogers
Shut up.
Sarah Sherman
You got him last year because he was so overwhelmed.
Bowen Yang
Oh, my God, yes.
Matt Rogers
I forgot the gentleman, the boxer.
Bowen Yang
Yeah.
Sarah Sherman
And that was like, the encapsulation of the problem, which is like, people, if they're forgetting that it's a game and they're like, literally, like, you're literally being evil.
Bowen Yang
And I'm thinking you are evil and your behavior is evil. And it's been evil ever since the traitors were chosen, ever since Alan made his choice. I love whenever they say since Alan made his choice, like, isn't Alan coming himself is actually picking.
Matt Rogers
But there's Something important in the tone that Sarah is embodying, which is you're being evil right now.
Sarah Sherman
Wait, do you guys think, like, it's like Dorind is acting evil right now?
Bowen Yang
Dorinda's acting. Really?
Sarah Sherman
And it's like forgetting the fact that it was. Well, that's why they have to say Alan Cumming chose.
Matt Rogers
Yeah, right.
Sarah Sherman
So that they remember that evil is not inherent, it's a construction. Because then they get lost in the sauce and they go like. They start crying. They're like, I have to leave. Because evil is afoot.
Bowen Yang
To think that people can. Well, here's a question. Do you believe people are born wicked, or do they have wickedness thrust upon them?
Sarah Sherman
And this actually goes into the other second thing I had to say.
Matt Rogers
Yes.
Sarah Sherman
With the coming into the studio with a gun.
Bowen Yang
We didn't even know you had a second thing.
Matt Rogers
Right. You didn't tell us.
Bowen Yang
More information. We just knew that.
Sarah Sherman
Well, remember when I said I texted you guys and I was like, so when are you gonna ask me, like, what culture is for me?
Matt Rogers
We already asked you the first time you were on the show.
Sarah Sherman
This is your third appearance, quite frankly.
Bowen Yang
We had. We've had it, Peewee. We understand, Peewee. You want to talk about it again?
Sarah Sherman
There is a diff. And it explains actually how I feel about the. The nature of good and evil.
Bowen Yang
Okay, okay.
Sarah Sherman
Because actually.
Bowen Yang
So what was the culture that made you say culture was for you, Sarah? Tell us. Tell us.
Sarah Sherman
This is the laughing episode. Well, it can be explained. Let's just take a moment because we're about to miss the worldwide meditation. Because we're recording this podcast in honor of David Lynch's memory.
Matt Rogers
I was just gonna say you're the perfect person to have on this week for many reasons, David Lynch. For so many reasons. Because it's the laughing episode.
Bowen Yang
It's laughing episode. The substance is about to rack up lots of Oscar.
Sarah Sherman
It's about to rat. I think I was literally thinking I was sitting on the toilet as I. You know, as I do. As we all do, where you do your best thinking and of course, find out. That's what I was gonna say.
Matt Rogers
What?
Sarah Sherman
Did you know you're not supposed to sit on the toilet for longer than 10 minutes?
Matt Rogers
Have you ever heard something more unfair?
Bowen Yang
It's really. It's. It's such a beautiful place to sort of.
Matt Rogers
It's the best place to stay. Remain.
Bowen Yang
Yeah, I love remaining there. I sit there sometimes and I'm like, I'm gonna remain.
Matt Rogers
Remain. Not exit. Remain.
Bowen Yang
No, I will remain what am I thinking of?
Sarah Sherman
What remains. Is that an Oprah's bestseller?
Bowen Yang
What remains?
Matt Rogers
Oprah's bestseller?
Bowen Yang
Is that an Oprah's bestseller?
Sarah Sherman
What remains? Do you. Does anyone have the capability of Google?
Bowen Yang
You're thinking of what lies beneath.
Matt Rogers
What lies beneath.
Bowen Yang
You're thinking of what happened by Hillary.
Matt Rogers
Clinton, which was about the election.
Bowen Yang
You're thinking of what I've got to do.
Sarah Sherman
I have to do what remains. Oh, awesome. What remains thing I've accessed.
Matt Rogers
I think you're thinking of there's a.
Sarah Sherman
Film from 2022, that's what remains.
Matt Rogers
And be that you're thinking of the Good Earth by Pearl S. Buck.
Sarah Sherman
That's what I mean.
Bowen Yang
So what was the culture that made you say culture?
Sarah Sherman
I do think I really. I think we do have to be taking a moment for last culture. Is this to say David Lynch?
Matt Rogers
Okay, so I think I. I'm producing you. That I basically know nothing. I am so illiterate with David.
Bowen Yang
We've actually been saying now for several months that we're gonna get into Twin Peaks. You should at this point.
Sarah Sherman
You know why you guys should? You love beautiful women and you love intrigue.
Matt Rogers
Love.
Bowen Yang
Yeah, that's actually true.
Matt Rogers
That's actually so true.
Sarah Sherman
And I don't want to spoil anything, but basically, in the larger, in the three season arc of Twin Peaks, you guys are looking at me so seriously.
Matt Rogers
Because you're, you're a true expert.
Sarah Sherman
I just think that it's like you guys really take women's, like, voices seriously.
Matt Rogers
You literally go, you guys are being evil.
Bowen Yang
You guys are being evil.
Sarah Sherman
You guys are actually like really evil.
Bowen Yang
Do you think you'd be a good trader or a bad trader?
Matt Rogers
You'd be an amazing trader.
Sarah Sherman
I think I would. No, because remember, every time in a sketch I have to act serious.
Matt Rogers
Well, you're like Carolyn, in a way. Like, you're like, you're so hard to pin down.
Sarah Sherman
Thank you for saying that. It's like she's acting crazy. She's acting, but she's a genius, right?
Matt Rogers
It's like you're both the same. And that way everyone's like, oh, Sarah's being Sarah. But in fact, she is deep down.
Sarah Sherman
But do the face that I do when I'm trying to act serious.
Matt Rogers
This is. If you tell Sarah she has to be serious or keep a straight face in his sketch, this is the best she can do.
Bowen Yang
Can I tell you, I noticed it. You doing a straight man role is my favorite thing.
Sarah Sherman
Because it's like we are on stage doing a comedy show.
Matt Rogers
By the way, right?
Sarah Sherman
And we're supposed to.
Bowen Yang
But you.
Matt Rogers
But Sarah. But Sarah is truly joy personifying. And then, like, I happen to be.
Sarah Sherman
Laughing, and then they're like, oh, you're in a court scene. And so I'm like, can you do.
Bowen Yang
Your court face, please?
Matt Rogers
But Sarah was in the Nosferatu prosthetics this Saturday. She slayed, by the way. And meanwhile, like, she's supposed to look terrifying, but everyone's like, that's the most adorable person I've ever seen.
Sarah Sherman
Ruby McAllister did call me at 10am the next morning and said, did you know that you actually looked like a super model? It was, like, insane.
Bowen Yang
You did.
Matt Rogers
You were so captivating.
Sarah Sherman
You've never looked more beautiful to say that.
Bowen Yang
Did you know you actually look supermodel?
Sarah Sherman
And I was like, no, I know. My arms look so skinny. It was, like, insane because, like, when. When you have a hunchback, it, like, kind of like, does the optical illusion where it's like your arm actually starts.
Matt Rogers
Oh, you do, like, the Lea Michelle thing. Like, let's do this. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Sarah Sherman
She can.
Bowen Yang
You were monster.
Matt Rogers
You were monster.
Bowen Yang
But, like, skinny, chic, hot cigarette dangling from the lips.
Matt Rogers
Nos vasera.
Sarah Sherman
Nos vasera.
Matt Rogers
Monstro. Nosferra.
Sarah Sherman
Heroin Chico too.
Bowen Yang
Monstro. Nos for Sara.
Sarah Sherman
Monstro Sarah Nicolsu.
Bowen Yang
Title of ep Monstro Sarah Nicole.
Sarah Sherman
When you say title of ep, it like, this is how I know you're a professional. The way it rolls off the tongue, like, without barrier.
Matt Rogers
That's how you know he's a professional.
Bowen Yang
That's how you know I'm professional. The way it rolls off my tongue. I know when we get the title and Monstro Sarah Nicole is the title.
Sarah Sherman
The first thing that happens when I'm having a laughing attack is sweating before laughing coming out of my mouth.
Matt Rogers
That's amazing.
Sarah Sherman
You can probably see it glistening and think it's like a dewy sheen. But I'm profusely sweating because I'm laughing so hard.
Bowen Yang
Wait on sweating on. Just to. Just to talk about the traitors one more time. What is going on with Sandoval?
Sarah Sherman
Oh, I think he's on, like, crack.
Bowen Yang
Is he having some sort of withdrawal?
Matt Rogers
Oh, it's withdrawal. That's what it is.
Bowen Yang
He hears the Vanderpump rules. He never acts like that. He goes to a Scottish palace where.
Matt Rogers
They have no phones or he has to travel internationally.
Bowen Yang
Yeah. And then suddenly he can't bring the drugs. He couldn't sit still, and he's sweating.
Matt Rogers
So much more than totally. Yes.
Sarah Sherman
Can I Tell you guys actually something that I was too afraid to admit, like four minutes ago.
Bowen Yang
You don't have to be afraid in here.
Sarah Sherman
I, I, as soon as they. Spoiler alert. As soon as they stop watching. As soon as they voted after endeavor, I literally, this was. I was watching with my boyfriend. I went like this.
Matt Rogers
What's this?
Sarah Sherman
I can't keep. I can't hold my attention.
Bowen Yang
It was actually really rough because they, they voted out some good people. Really?
Sarah Sherman
They fucked up. That is fucked up.
Bowen Yang
The survivor people that have gone. It's kind of a shame.
Matt Rogers
Yeah.
Sarah Sherman
Wait, who?
Matt Rogers
Because then Tony and.
Bowen Yang
And Jeremy.
Matt Rogers
Jeremy.
Sarah Sherman
Yeah, Tony.
Matt Rogers
Oh, spoiler.
Sarah Sherman
That's crazy.
Bowen Yang
Are you not caught up?
Sarah Sherman
No, I'm not kidding. Every time my boyfriend. And I'm straight, by the way.
Bowen Yang
That's okay.
Sarah Sherman
Don't let the shirt betray you. I'm standing with my straight girls.
Bowen Yang
We sort of all chose fashion today.
Sarah Sherman
What did I say about your shirt?
Matt Rogers
Tell them Thanksgiving, SpongeBob.
Sarah Sherman
Cause look.
Matt Rogers
Oh, that's what you meant. Yeah. No, I was like, I was like, what spongebob? Is this the sponge?
Bowen Yang
Like, I thought she was like a character on top.
Matt Rogers
I'm like, oh, you thought I was.
Sarah Sherman
Calling you, like random.
Bowen Yang
He thought you were just being a.
Sarah Sherman
I take back what I said about how you guys feel about women.
Matt Rogers
Yeah, exactly.
Bowen Yang
It's really touch and go.
Sarah Sherman
I'm a misogynist.
Matt Rogers
Huh?
Sarah Sherman
I don't think so many gay guys.
Bowen Yang
What about us? What about gay guys go on rights being taken away so, you know, it's not just Katie's that. Listen, some gay guys do listen.
Matt Rogers
Still hot ones too.
Bowen Yang
Yeah. Kyle's.
Sarah Sherman
That's Kyle.
Bowen Yang
There's a subgroup that we actually, we said that we would officially induct them.
Matt Rogers
No, we can't have five.
Sarah Sherman
What do you mean?
Bowen Yang
They said we couldn't have two. They said we couldn't have three. They said we couldn't have four. Kyle's welcome. Welcome, Kyle. We love the Kyle.
Sarah Sherman
I'm obsessed with you guys.
Bowen Yang
It's crazy.
Matt Rogers
It's crazy. I think about Sarah every day and I smile.
Sarah Sherman
I have nothing to contribute to the conversation because I just want to sit here and smile.
Bowen Yang
Shut up.
Sarah Sherman
I just want to go.
Bowen Yang
Guys, can I tell you who'd be so furious about that? All the Kyles. They want to hear from you.
Sarah Sherman
Really?
Bowen Yang
Yeah.
Matt Rogers
Oh, yeah.
Bowen Yang
Do you know that you're a gay icon?
Sarah Sherman
Are you? I'm not kidding. Like, I don't take that lightly.
Bowen Yang
And I really. If you did, that would be fucked up.
Sarah Sherman
I know.
Bowen Yang
Especially now in the time that we're.
Sarah Sherman
In, he's sworn in like he's getting sworn in, like, right?
Bowen Yang
Oh, no. I watched the whole thing.
Sarah Sherman
How is was he surveyed?
Bowen Yang
Can I tell you something? Here's my three takeaways. It was hell and like a funeral. Two. One nice thing. I'll say I did like Melania's hat. Three, Carrie Underwood sounded bad. And for all of that to go down and for her to sound strained and shouty.
Sarah Sherman
Really?
Bowen Yang
Yeah. It was not good.
Sarah Sherman
And are you a Carrie girl or.
Bowen Yang
I can't say. I was never identified girl. I've never really given her no propers on this show. You want to know what it is? I've always not had the best feeling on the vibes.
Matt Rogers
Yeah, yeah. The vibes have always been weird. But does this make you go buyer's remorse on Beau Bias? Do we as a culture need to bring Bob Ice back?
Bowen Yang
Well, I was a Von Zel Solomon girly from the beginning, and I love Von Zell. And Von Zelle was the singer for Game show on Quibi, period.
Sarah Sherman
Wait, who was long hair? I got my first period while Bo.
Matt Rogers
And that's the culture that made you say menarche. I'm bleeding.
Sarah Sherman
And I acted like it wasn't happening.
Bowen Yang
Do you remember what song he was singing? Because it was always some variation of oh, Mama Lemon good to handle because Mama, I'm so hard to handle now. I guess around.
Sarah Sherman
Was it that? Because the way that just sent like a reptilian like, chill to the base of my spine. He had a brown suede jacket on and was holding a guitar.
Bowen Yang
He was always like, when it happened, tone on tone perfectly. Like, flat ironed hair, like really straight stuff.
Sarah Sherman
When you guys did Bo Bis, I thought the guy with the gray hair who was hot.
Bowen Yang
Taylor Hicks.
Matt Rogers
Taylor Hicks.
Bowen Yang
He was hot to you?
Matt Rogers
Sarah. Sarah, you need to describe your perfect looking man.
Bowen Yang
Yeah, describe your perfect man.
Sarah Sherman
Do you know what I think it is? I want to preface this by saying I think because I've been a lot of prefacing and pretensing today. I think because my boyfriend Strange Dragon.
Bowen Yang
Put your weapons down. Put your weapons down.
Sarah Sherman
I come in peace day, guys.
Bowen Yang
They're called Kyle's.
Sarah Sherman
I come a piece. Kyle's and Katie's alike. And Mariah's and Shanias.
Bowen Yang
They're not listening. Mariah forgot she did this.
Sarah Sherman
Deathbed vibes. When y'all are on your deathbed like this.
Matt Rogers
Oh, yeah.
Sarah Sherman
Angel style. You can go like, we did that.
Bowen Yang
Yeah.
Sarah Sherman
You know, period.
Bowen Yang
Well, we're gonna say we Ate that and laugh.
Matt Rogers
When we're 79, we're still gonna be.
Bowen Yang
Like twerk and serve and slay. We ate that down.
Sarah Sherman
We tore DeathBed for you two is gonna be 1115 years old.
Bowen Yang
I can actually see it.
Matt Rogers
I can see it. I don't want to live that long.
Bowen Yang
He's gonna look the same. I'm gonna look like Nosferat 2 and not the chic heroine. Chic. Honey.
Sarah Sherman
I'm so old. I'm Nosferat3.
Matt Rogers
Oh, damn.
Bowen Yang
You dragged yourself there, old bitch.
Sarah Sherman
Old.
Bowen Yang
Okay, wait, so where we were on a thing.
Matt Rogers
The perfect man. The perfect man.
Sarah Sherman
I think, because Taylor Hicks. Because I think my beautiful long suffering boyfriend is so like. He's so, like standard. Cute, attractive.
Matt Rogers
So.
Sarah Sherman
And you know, he invented a new term.
Matt Rogers
What?
Sarah Sherman
It's cutiful. It's when something's cute and beautiful.
Bowen Yang
Isn't that beautiful?
Matt Rogers
Isn't that lovely? Beautiful.
Bowen Yang
That's really good.
Sarah Sherman
Isn't that crazy?
Bowen Yang
Where's he from? We want to hear about him. Where's he from? Originally?
Matt Rogers
Where's he from?
Sarah Sherman
South suburb of Chicago.
Bowen Yang
All right.
Sarah Sherman
And like, he's from a town called Flossmoor. So you, of course you get built in jokes like, I wish you'd floss less.
Bowen Yang
Oh, well, why would I ever want to do that?
Sarah Sherman
Bleeding.
Bowen Yang
I don't floss.
Sarah Sherman
You don't? You're a liar.
Bowen Yang
I don't.
Sarah Sherman
You have the nicest teeth in show business.
Bowen Yang
Even though. So it just goes to show what they're telling you is not true. You don't have to do do it.
Sarah Sherman
Oh, but did you ever have braces?
Bowen Yang
No.
Sarah Sherman
You're lying.
Bowen Yang
And some people think I have crooked teeth, but it's because I talk out of one side of my mouth with.
Sarah Sherman
A smirk like Rachel Maddow. Something I found out when I had to do my research. Of course.
Matt Rogers
You ate that, by the way.
Sarah Sherman
No, by the way. You know, I. The second my toe came off stage, every single person was like, hey, you messed up all your words.
Bowen Yang
Who said that?
Sarah Sherman
Everyone.
Matt Rogers
It's live television.
Sarah Sherman
Try saying MSNBC ten times fast.
Bowen Yang
Msnbc.
Sarah Sherman
Well, okay, I had to say it one time. And I said mfnbab.
Bowen Yang
You're trying not to say it. You could do it if you really applied yourself.
Matt Rogers
You were. You were straining so hard playing a lesbian.
Sarah Sherman
I know.
Matt Rogers
You're such a stragg.
Sarah Sherman
I think that's what happened. And then my brain just started like fritzing out.
Bowen Yang
You are a straggart.
Matt Rogers
You really are.
Sarah Sherman
Literally. Thank you. From the bottom of my Heart.
Bowen Yang
Can I ask you something? Before you got emotional when we said that you were a gay icon and that you really don't take it lightly, I. I just talk about that because.
Sarah Sherman
I mean, not to be like this.
Matt Rogers
Please.
Sarah Sherman
Who do you think, besides David lynch, built culture as we know it. Gay guys. Literally gay.
Bowen Yang
Oprah. It feels like you took that away.
Matt Rogers
From her, from black women.
Bowen Yang
That sucks. That sucks for you to rob black women of that and especially this week.
Sarah Sherman
Does anyone know?
Bowen Yang
It really is really hurtful.
Sarah Sherman
Didn't she? Okay, I dreamed this or it was real Does. And I'm not going to look it up because that's. I don't need to be, like, interfacing with screens right now. Didn't she have an episode where she had a bunch of pedophiles on?
Matt Rogers
Well, she had an episode where she had a bunch of pedophiles on.
Bowen Yang
And then I think she had another.
Matt Rogers
Episode where she had, like, victims. Victims of like.
Bowen Yang
Today we're hearing the other side.
Sarah Sherman
I just have this, like, strong memory of her being like, I was like two or whatever, like this big. And there was like, a bunch of pedophiles on. She was like, it sucks that you guys, like, want to have sex with kids. And then I was like, watching. Being like, that does suck. Oh, my God, that sucks.
Bowen Yang
Singing as a kid. I agree with Oprah. I have to say in this dialogue, I'm team Oprah.
Sarah Sherman
It just suck. Meanwhile, me being eight, being like, I wish an adult wanted to have sex with me. I was in love with all my teachers. Hey, were you really? Of course. I was like, precocious little bitch.
Matt Rogers
Who was the one.
Bowen Yang
Wow.
Matt Rogers
She's moaning and groaning.
Bowen Yang
So is this out of shame or out of pure sexual frustration?
Sarah Sherman
It is just like, I'm afraid you're.
Matt Rogers
Sweating in your other lips.
Bowen Yang
Jesus.
Sarah Sherman
Hello, nurse. I'm afraid of saying his full name because you could find.
Bowen Yang
No, no, don't say his full name.
Matt Rogers
Just say, like, what he taught and.
Bowen Yang
What his vibe was.
Sarah Sherman
I had an English teacher. This is gonna send you guys to the moon in a. Not SpaceX rocket ship. In a normal rocket ship.
Matt Rogers
Okay, Normal.
Bowen Yang
One that uses American gas. Drill. Baby drill. Something Trump said today at the inauguration about what? I don't.
Matt Rogers
About fracking.
Bowen Yang
That sounds like a baby drill. Anyway, what were you saying?
Matt Rogers
Okay, so this. This teacher. English teacher.
Sarah Sherman
English teacher. He had a gray and red long beard.
Bowen Yang
Okay.
Sarah Sherman
Red, gray hair combed over to the side, much like our president combed over.
Bowen Yang
Age demographic?
Sarah Sherman
100, like legit 100 years old. Every Day would wear, like, a Snoopy tie, and would.
Bowen Yang
The character. Snoopy.
Sarah Sherman
The character Snoopy. Humor, a funny little tie. And he. Me and my best friend in high school, Emily, would sit in the parking lot and watch him smoke his pipe in his car during lunch break and just be like, that is so fucking hot.
Matt Rogers
It's giving. What's the guy's name?
Sarah Sherman
The Giver.
Matt Rogers
The Give. It's Giving. The Giver. Oh, my God.
Bowen Yang
Giving.
Matt Rogers
The Giver.
Bowen Yang
And I was. I was thinking Vincent Van Gogh in my head.
Sarah Sherman
Not. Not dissimilar. Not. He actually quite looked like him.
Matt Rogers
Who's the watchman guy? Alan Moore. Alan Moore. Giving.
Sarah Sherman
Alan Moore with a Snoopy tie.
Matt Rogers
That's hot.
Sarah Sherman
And he would smoke a fucking pipe in his car, and me and Emily would just, like, watch him. His car and be.
Bowen Yang
Are you still in touch with Emily?
Sarah Sherman
Oh, of course.
Bowen Yang
Yeah.
Sarah Sherman
Emily, hello. If you're listening to Long Island.
Matt Rogers
Is that. Y'all keep in touch with high school?
Bowen Yang
Definitely. I texted my friend Allison last night.
Sarah Sherman
I said, hey.
Bowen Yang
I said, hey. Well, we had a mutual friend at the birthday party we were at.
Matt Rogers
Oh, cute.
Sarah Sherman
Oh. And said, like, let's go to Roosevelt Field, get our ears pierced.
Bowen Yang
Oh, my God, I wish I could go to Roosevelt Field, but it was. It was too far.
Sarah Sherman
Were you Walt Whitman?
Bowen Yang
No, I was Sunrise Mall. Like, South Shore vibes.
Sarah Sherman
You are. So I have to give respect to you because, like, honestly, something crazier to. Even more iconic to say than. You're a gay icon. You are actual Long island legend. Like, you are not from. We're around Long. You are from, like, a Long Island. Long Island.
Bowen Yang
I'm for real. Yeah, he's definitely for real.
Sarah Sherman
You're new to this. He's true to this.
Matt Rogers
I'm always new to this. Anytime I go to Long Island, I go, whoa.
Sarah Sherman
It's. No one knows what happened to us.
Bowen Yang
Yeah.
Sarah Sherman
It's so crazy, the things that we saw and the things we did.
Bowen Yang
Yeah. And the things that we, you know, aspired to be.
Matt Rogers
Name the craziest thing from.
Sarah Sherman
From Nikki Blonsky.
Bowen Yang
I mean, just. What did you say?
Sarah Sherman
Nikki Blonsky.
Bowen Yang
Nikki Blonsky. She's a Long island legend.
Sarah Sherman
Her mom once came up to me.
Bowen Yang
You're kidding.
Sarah Sherman
Wait. I actually have the chills.
Bowen Yang
Nikki Blonsky's mother came up to me. Where?
Sarah Sherman
Came up to me at my school. I think she came to my school.
Bowen Yang
To perform, and I. I felt like.
Sarah Sherman
They were scouting, and I was, like, for Hairspray.
Bowen Yang
Oh, my God, that's perfect.
Sarah Sherman
No, I. I Don't.
Bowen Yang
I don't begin.
Sarah Sherman
What did she say?
Matt Rogers
You even had a perfect penny.
Bowen Yang
That's. That's fucking Little Shop. What did you say?
Sarah Sherman
Who knows?
Bowen Yang
Brave, the movie Nikki Watsky was in. What did she say?
Sarah Sherman
Me knowing, like two musical songs.
Bowen Yang
We gotta take her to a Broadway show. Sarah.
Sarah Sherman
I just know I would die for kinky boots. We had a kinky boots sketch idea.
Bowen Yang
What was our kinky.
Matt Rogers
Oh, oh, yeah, yeah, sure. What's that?
Bowen Yang
Why was it. Why didn't it make it?
Matt Rogers
We wanted a sequel to the Shrek the musical sketch that we wrote for with Charlie.
Bowen Yang
What was the kinky boots bit gonna be?
Sarah Sherman
Come out with glitter on your feet. You're clearly putting on the kinky boots. What is it, Mathilde?
Matt Rogers
You clearly put on the kinky boots. Writing that sketch was a highlight of my life.
Sarah Sherman
It's so rare to channel.
Matt Rogers
Oh, we channeled.
Bowen Yang
Did you?
Sarah Sherman
To let the muse visit.
Matt Rogers
We literally plopped it down in one run and we were like, it's perfect.
Bowen Yang
Have you ever seen Hamilton the Musical?
Sarah Sherman
I know that. How could a bastard orphan.
Matt Rogers
That's not. You would love it.
Sarah Sherman
Really?
Matt Rogers
It's a great show.
Bowen Yang
It's a great show. And also, if nothing else, like, it's production value.
Matt Rogers
Yes.
Sarah Sherman
I don't. Don't get me started on that because I'm feeling really emotional about production value lately.
Matt Rogers
What's. What's going on?
Sarah Sherman
It's just like, give it to me and I'm not. You guys know who you are who aren't giving it to me. Just in general.
Matt Rogers
Yep.
Sarah Sherman
I want to see lights, camera, sound, sets, costume.
Bowen Yang
Can we get really into this, though? We watched the substance together and I did think of you.
Sarah Sherman
Did you?
Bowen Yang
Did you love that movie?
Sarah Sherman
I basically loved it more than words can even express.
Matt Rogers
Same. And I finally watched that 30 minute featurette that's on YouTube.
Bowen Yang
So good. You have to check that out. If you haven't.
Sarah Sherman
Fucking holding the camera running backwards, hosing everyone down with blood. I'm like, that's. If you want to know how it's done, that's how it's done.
Bowen Yang
You need to work with her.
Sarah Sherman
I literally let this be a message.
Matt Rogers
Do you want to talk about this?
Sarah Sherman
Coralie, I love you and what you've done and what you will continue to do and what has happened and what will soon to be happening all over until, like the perpetuity. Till the end of time. Like, what was I saying?
Bowen Yang
You were. You were saying a lot. And all of it is impacting. Exactly.
Matt Rogers
Hearing one.
Sarah Sherman
Well, Shelly, you did It.
Matt Rogers
Yeah.
Bowen Yang
Can I correct you? You did that.
Sarah Sherman
You did that. That she did. When it kept going. When it just kept going and the teeth and then the ears and then the blood hose and the music and the lights, camera, sound, costume, whatever.
Bowen Yang
Yeah.
Sarah Sherman
As we were just saying, it didn't for one second stop. It gave us everything. Relentlessly and more.
Matt Rogers
It's incredible. Fixed film.
Sarah Sherman
It's a perfect, perfect film. It's hilarious. Down, down. It's go. It's as you say, feast for the eyes.
Matt Rogers
Feast for the eyes.
Sarah Sherman
It's everything. It was. She's my favorite. She's everything.
Bowen Yang
Yeah.
Matt Rogers
There. There's been little meetings, there's a listen. You've met a couple times.
Sarah Sherman
We met one time.
Bowen Yang
Oh, really?
Sarah Sherman
I was struck by her beauty.
Bowen Yang
Yes, she is.
Sarah Sherman
She's gorgeous, she's stunning and she's hilarious.
Bowen Yang
Yeah. When did you meet her?
Sarah Sherman
I.
Matt Rogers
Luncheon.
Sarah Sherman
I've been like stalking her. For real, because I just like. I'm like, you're amazing.
Bowen Yang
Were you a fan prior to seeing the Substance? Like, did you see Revenge?
Sarah Sherman
I love Revenge.
Bowen Yang
Yeah.
Sarah Sherman
And I love every. You know when you like see someone's movie and you're like, I hope see Words escape me. That's how much I care.
Matt Rogers
Yeah. Oh, that's.
Sarah Sherman
And like you could just see like. It's like she's such a, like fan of horror movies too. And so it's like as a fan of the thing, as a fan of like Basket Case or whatever, you watch that movie and you're like, yay.
Bowen Yang
Thank you.
Sarah Sherman
This feels like a Christmas. Christmas tree.
Bowen Yang
Yeah. Yeah.
Matt Rogers
Amazing.
Sarah Sherman
I know. And just like I. Yeah, she's just. Listen, you're at a loss for words. I'm at a loss for words.
Bowen Yang
Were you a Demi and Margaret fan prior to this or did this expose you to their gifts?
Sarah Sherman
The both of them fans? Yeah, both of them fans. But like now I am on my knees forever in their debt, basically.
Bowen Yang
I see their names called tomorrow.
Matt Rogers
Yeah, I hope so too.
Sarah Sherman
Who's calling?
Bowen Yang
Do you know?
Matt Rogers
I'm calling.
Bowen Yang
Bowen. Bowen and Rachel Sennett are announcing our friends nominations. Can you believe that big day for.
Matt Rogers
Union hall that we said?
Bowen Yang
Huge day for Union Hall. Truly won.
Sarah Sherman
Oh my gosh. Isn't that wild? Wait, it's. You're going tomorrow?
Matt Rogers
No, no. What? This comes out Wednesday and then I'm going to be. I'm literally leaving, read through and catching a plane to LA. And then Thursday morning, 5:30am PT, we're announcing and then I got to fly back for.
Bowen Yang
I wouldn't miss it. I think it's such an honor. No, I know.
Matt Rogers
I'm so honored.
Sarah Sherman
It's like literally the coolest thing.
Bowen Yang
I love that. I want to. I aspire to announce the nominations, Marlins things.
Sarah Sherman
He's always marlin you small and because you.
Bowen Yang
First of all, we're not talking about him. Harmful individuals today.
Sarah Sherman
Who gave us a laugh. If we're talking about the laughing.
Matt Rogers
Oh, he gave us a laugh.
Sarah Sherman
It's like he go, oh, like I'm gonna be announcing the Oscar. Like that's how he says it. This is how he delivers.
Matt Rogers
It's not how I deliver it, but you.
Sarah Sherman
I know you have to smile on it because you're just trying to keep your head on your shoulders and you're like clocking in and like it's like if things were too big, like you would almost be scared to do it.
Matt Rogers
Totally.
Sarah Sherman
But it's like that is. That is major.
Bowen Yang
You're right. He does. He smallens things, but he's excited.
Matt Rogers
I'm excited.
Bowen Yang
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Oh, there's so many things I want to do differently this year, Bowen. I have to get into a routine of waking up earlier on time the same day. I want to get my day started really early. I need the energy for that.
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Me too. And I need the hydration for that as well.
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Bowen Yang
You don't even need coffee after it because it's an energy boost and you're feeling good. So if you're looking to kind of curb your caffeine intake, this might be something for you.
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I love my fruit over there. Talking about how he loves fruit.
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Thank you, fruit.
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Bowen Yang
You know, I don't have kids and neither do you last time I checked.
Matt Rogers
That I know of.
Bowen Yang
But I can't imagine what it's like running a home with kids. It's a lot.
Matt Rogers
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Bowen Yang
It makes coordinating your family's daily routines and activities so much smoother and even fun.
Matt Rogers
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Bowen Yang
It's amazing how much more coordinated your family can be when you know where everyone is at any given time. And the peace of mind that provides is a game changer.
Matt Rogers
Look, look. I love location sharing apps and I used to think, oh, it's a weird surveillance thing. I don't want to know where other people are. I don't want my friends to know where I am at all times. But it's just actually a great way to make sure that people are okay.
Bowen Yang
You never know what's going to come up.
Matt Rogers
I have nothing to hide.
Bowen Yang
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Matt Rogers
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Bowen Yang
That's life360.com code culture is that leaf bothering you on your head? Oh, because did you notice that my girl has a leaf on her head?
Matt Rogers
No, it's. It's not on.
Bowen Yang
Well, it's very.
Sarah Sherman
Go ahead, leave head. What's going to be yours?
Matt Rogers
What's going to be yours?
Bowen Yang
Gorgeous head.
Matt Rogers
Gorgeous head.
Bowen Yang
Stunning head.
Sarah Sherman
Say this.
Bowen Yang
Toe head.
Sarah Sherman
I'm changing that.
Matt Rogers
What? Say this, say this, say this. But this is my theory. The word that is so powerful. So powerful. The way it hits the ear is just different. Really.
Bowen Yang
I was watching a body language expert talk about Blake Lively.
Matt Rogers
Oh, just let that sink in.
Bowen Yang
I was watching a body language expert talk about Blake Lively and Justin Baldoni. And there was a moment where an interview says to Blake Lively, like, well, you actually had to be the intimacy coordinator on set. Like, you had to show him how to grab you and kiss you. And she goes, where did you see this? And the body language expert said that use of the word this is usually to show that you disdain whatever it is they've brought up. Like, oh, what's all this? What do you mean by this?
Sarah Sherman
What's all this?
Matt Rogers
Then this. What's all this, then?
Bowen Yang
The word this. This is rarely used positively or inclusively.
Sarah Sherman
I'm picturing when you say this, something that's just coming to mind is like peeling dirty underwear off the floor.
Matt Rogers
What is this?
Sarah Sherman
Yeah. A wife coming home peels a woman's underwear from the bottom of the basket and going, what is this? To my husband, I've been working all day, and whose is this? You just say, what is that?
Matt Rogers
You just ate that line, by the way. Dude, what is this Again?
Sarah Sherman
No, again.
Bowen Yang
Think about this.
Sarah Sherman
The directors out there. I'm free.
Bowen Yang
Think about this. Who did this?
Sarah Sherman
Okay, now. Now say that. Sorry.
Bowen Yang
Who did this?
Matt Rogers
Now do the other one.
Bowen Yang
Who did that?
Sarah Sherman
See, I'm not threatened by that.
Matt Rogers
Who did this?
Bowen Yang
What's up with that? What's up with this?
Matt Rogers
Although we were talking about the scene for Mad Men. Joan confronting the men.
Sarah Sherman
I wouldn't care if you died.
Matt Rogers
That pornographic drawing.
Bowen Yang
Pornographic drawing. I actually. I've been watching so much Mad Men clips. The number one best scene in television history. I'm kidding you.
Matt Rogers
Not Joan and Don.
Bowen Yang
Joan and Don. It's the episode where Joan gets served with divorce papers in the office that, like, Front Desk Secretary gives, like, allows the last fever. It's the fifth season, which, by the way, has no skips. So it's the rumors of. So Don and Joan go to, like, they go to the Jaguar dealership, and then, like, they pretend to be a couple, and then they go to the bar and they get a little drunk and they turn on the jukebox music, and they have this scene at the bar that talks about, like, the kind of people they are and the kind of people that are in the bar. And it's about them, but it's not the writing and the acting is so.
Matt Rogers
They're unbelievably good.
Bowen Yang
Christina Hendricks. No, Emmy.
Sarah Sherman
That role, by the way. Like, can. I don't want to say anything disrespectful, but it's like, let's get her out there more.
Bowen Yang
Agree. I would definitely agree.
Sarah Sherman
Do you think I'm going to say something on behalf of all women?
Bowen Yang
Yeah.
Sarah Sherman
Is she so is she. So is she so stunningly Jessica Rabbit that people are afraid and this is just about misogyny on a larger scale? Are people afraid to give her, like, challenging roles because they're like, she's so bodacious, we couldn't even.
Matt Rogers
I don't think it's distracting. I think it's. I think she. With Joan, I guess, like, it is so one with, like, the character. But I guess that sounds.
Bowen Yang
I think it has a lot less to do with that and more to do with the fact that it's almost like the reason why January Jones and Jessica Perret also don't work a ton. It's because I feel like they're very identifiable with those roles and they were so well done that maybe it counts against them sometimes.
Matt Rogers
Fuck.
Bowen Yang
I am type cast because I think that. I think all of those performances are unreal. I think Jessica Perret actually gets disrespected. Megan was incredible.
Matt Rogers
Zoobie Zoo is an iconic movie.
Bowen Yang
Is the. Is in the first episode of season five. And it gets better from there. Zooby Zooby Zoo is the craziest thing that ever happened on television.
Sarah Sherman
Sure it is the craziest thing.
Bowen Yang
It's so insane.
Sarah Sherman
And then you see Twin Peaks and you go, that's okay. Some crazy things are happening here that are basically like defying all like, logic between like the living and the dreaming and the dead. And then you're like. And still Zooby Zooby Zoo.
Bowen Yang
The fact that Zooby Zooby Zoo is supposed to happen in a grounded world and it's. It still reads as being like realistic. And you believe that she would do that and it says pretty much everything you need to know about her character.
Matt Rogers
But Zooby Zooby Zoo happened on amc. Twin Peaks happened on abc.
Bowen Yang
Truly.
Matt Rogers
Which is. That's the craziest part.
Bowen Yang
Take that risk now challenge.
Sarah Sherman
You guys are actually gonna lose your gourd. Basically. You're gonna.
Matt Rogers
The.
Sarah Sherman
The top of your hat is gonna fly off. Clean off.
Matt Rogers
Clean off. I just have no stamina when it comes to watching shit. So like, like I'm still on the pilot. I've been on the pilot episode of Twin Peaks for like eight years. It's so bad.
Sarah Sherman
That is so.
Matt Rogers
But, but I started from the beginning. Like recently, even before he passed away. Just like when the mom like realizes that like she's gone, she's dead. It's like the most devastating thing. And the. Laura Palmer's theme, like the music, the score. That score is crazy.
Sarah Sherman
I think once you enter episode two, then it's full lubrication and it's a non stop roller coaster lied. Like, I don't think you're gonna find any resistance distance there. I think it's just like slip into that second episode.
Matt Rogers
Okay.
Sarah Sherman
Allow it to just. It just. If the way it feels all over your body when you're watching it, it's. It's astounding. And I will say, and not to belabor this Point believer.
Bowen Yang
No, that was right.
Matt Rogers
That was right.
Sarah Sherman
I know, I just. I'm gonna be needing a PhD tonight.
Bowen Yang
Well, you know what? You clearly weren't paying attention in English class because you were so horned up with. You're trying to get your rocks off with Vincent Van Gogh. Vincent Van Snoop.
Sarah Sherman
Saw who I was talking about. You'd go, oh, okay.
Bowen Yang
In a good way or in a horrified way.
Matt Rogers
Anytime. Sarah's like that fucking guy. Oh, what I would do. I'm like the craziest looking human being.
Bowen Yang
You're like the Crypt Keeper. Crypt.
Sarah Sherman
Yeah.
Matt Rogers
Taylor Hicks.
Sarah Sherman
Taylor Hicks. No disrespect, Billy Bob Thornton. Now keep going. And this is. Oh, that like, because I think Dan, my. My beautiful long suffering boyfriend is so conventionally cute cutiful. That it's like. I think it's like. It's a loud. Yes, it's a counterweight.
Matt Rogers
Counterweight, I love that.
Bowen Yang
So you're so bored with traditional beauty because you get that every day. In fact, you have sex with it.
Sarah Sherman
In fact, if he's lucky, you're the.
Bowen Yang
Kind of girl who holds out. This becomes like a whole other like alt right podcast. You the kind of girl leaves it on the shelf. You know what I mean?
Matt Rogers
Ew.
Bowen Yang
I made that expression up. You leave it on the shelf at night.
Matt Rogers
On the shelf at night.
Sarah Sherman
You let it stink up the place.
Bowen Yang
You ever have to crack a window after because it stinks so mad.
Matt Rogers
Cause it's been on the shelf.
Sarah Sherman
The expiry date is.
Bowen Yang
Well, if you leave it on the shelf too long, you know it starts to stink. They say that about women. They don't have sex, they start. That's where their pussy starts to really smell bad.
Sarah Sherman
When was the last time you smelled one me face to face?
Bowen Yang
I've never seen a vagina up close.
Sarah Sherman
It's one of the. And they cover this in many movies. It's one of the most craziest things you could see.
Bowen Yang
Well, how would we know? How would we know? Zoo be zoo.
Sarah Sherman
I didn't bring mine today. It's in the car.
Matt Rogers
What's your least favorite body part to depict in your art?
Sarah Sherman
Oh, interesting. This is going to be a surprise.
Matt Rogers
Please.
Sarah Sherman
I don't like. As someone who loves blood, guts, shit, piss, boogers. I'm like, what are we, two?
Matt Rogers
I was gonna guess no stuff. You don't like nose.
Sarah Sherman
I, I love nose.
Matt Rogers
But you don't like booger.
Sarah Sherman
I think it's like we're older than that. Yeah, that's so.
Matt Rogers
I love this. That there is one thing that you Go. That's off. Like, I'm leaving that.
Bowen Yang
It's peste.
Sarah Sherman
Yeah.
Matt Rogers
Or it's just. There's an edit there. Literally, there's an edit.
Sarah Sherman
There's an added cheek. And I love. I love mucoid membranes. So I love like a slick mucus. Like you don't.
Matt Rogers
You don't like a clump. You don't like a clump of booger.
Sarah Sherman
Well, again, it's like we're guys.
Bowen Yang
Yeah.
Sarah Sherman
Really?
Bowen Yang
When you see someone pick your nose, are you horrified? Pick their nose, rather.
Sarah Sherman
No, I do this. That's part of my practice.
Bowen Yang
I do it too.
Sarah Sherman
It's. I think it's a medical procedure.
Bowen Yang
It's like you have to clear that out.
Matt Rogers
You're gonna die.
Bowen Yang
Sometimes it's like, it's not. It's not as easy as blowing your nose.
Matt Rogers
No, no, it's not.
Sarah Sherman
You have to get. Sometimes you have to get knuckle deep and that's okay.
Bowen Yang
And again, this was really healing actually. Thank you. Thank you for coming.
Sarah Sherman
You're welcome. They shouldn't make a. Oh, I was gonna say they should make a nasal bidet, but that is what a neti pot is.
Matt Rogers
What a Nettie pot is. It's what a Neil Med is. You know, of course you understand.
Sarah Sherman
And. Oh, this was gonna be that why my. My last. Like on my hands and knees begging for you guys to watch Twin Peaks in it in its three season arc, it posits a theory of everything spiritually, like, religiously, metaphysically, that I legitimately agree with.
Matt Rogers
In life, everything is love, or love is the most important thing. What is it? Or you don't want to spoil it.
Bowen Yang
I think you should, because I don't.
Sarah Sherman
Think this is spoiling necessarily.
Bowen Yang
Necessarily.
Matt Rogers
Necessarily.
Bowen Yang
I don't think this is necessarily spoiling anything necessarius. But it's Necessarius. I hear Necessarius is my favorite dinosaur. Necessarius was so good. She was beautiful.
Matt Rogers
She was cute.
Bowen Yang
We have to you guys readers, please draw Necessarius and send us in your pictures. Tag us, all three of us. And the Atlas Culturesis with your photos that you've drawn of. Necessary.
Sarah Sherman
But you have to, like, then like write it like Nessa. Sarah S A R, I H. You.
Bowen Yang
Know how to spell it?
Sarah Sherman
Necessary. Nicoleus.
Matt Rogers
List.
Bowen Yang
Monstrose. Keep going. What's the.
Matt Rogers
What's the theory of everything?
Sarah Sherman
So, like, yes, that love is actually the greatest unifying force in the universe. But you know, Twin Peaks is the. And I'm gonna be so serious right now. That's gonna make you laugh.
Matt Rogers
Okay.
Sarah Sherman
That it's, like, the story of, like, who killed Laura Palmer. Right. And I'm not gonna spoil the great reveal of who killed Laura Palmer for you because that'll keep you on the hook for at least a season and a half.
Matt Rogers
Yeah.
Sarah Sherman
But, like, you know, there's so much, like, pain and violence and trauma towards this, like, young high school girl and towards, like, all the women in this universe or whatever, and there's, like, great pain and trauma. And while, like, love prevails, basically, in the Great Episode 8, Season 3 of Twin Peaks, which is, like, the Return, which happens.
Matt Rogers
What Was that, like, 2016?
Sarah Sherman
Yeah, 2016. Really? The last culturista. You just know.
Matt Rogers
I don't know. I just pulled it out of my ass.
Sarah Sherman
You're amazing. Don't Smollin.
Matt Rogers
Don't Smollin. You are amazing.
Sarah Sherman
Basically, he posits that true evil was unleashed into every dimension and realm of the universe when the first atomic bond atomic bomb exploded. So that a new kind of man made evil, basically fractured all of time, all of the fabric of time, space, and unleashed a new form of evil in the form of Bob, who is this demon that, you know. Yeah, whatever. In Twin Peaks, it unleashed a new form of evil that, like, wreaked a new form of havoc on every universe.
Matt Rogers
Every universe of every timeline, blah, blah, blah.
Sarah Sherman
Yes. And so, like, that is the. The central conflict of Twin Peaks, which is said by General Briggs when he says there's this Bobby Briggs, hottest man alive. His dad is a crazy military general who does shit with space or whatever. Oh, I'm not sounding smart. He needs to drink Diet Coke.
Bowen Yang
Can you imagine if that was the answer?
Matt Rogers
Diet code.
Bowen Yang
We'd be geniuses.
Sarah Sherman
President Trump wouldn't be trying to buy Austria or whatever, is he.
Matt Rogers
You don't need the Diet Coke.
Bowen Yang
You sound him.
Sarah Sherman
Yes, but, like, basically, he's worried. He's this, like, general who's been. Who, like, is, like, you know, in charge of investigating, like, the link between, like, American, like, military hegemony and, like, nuclear mysticism. Whatever, whatever. And he's like, my fear is that love is not in. So that basically, when mankind, emphasis on man, basically unleashed a new kind of evil into the world when we created the nuclear bomb. He's worried that love is not enough. And then that's kind of what the return follows is all these characters that you remember from 20 years ago feeling this trauma in every dimension, in every time, space, continuum, whatever. And this is why, you know, Oppenheimer won the Oscar and this is ultimately why. But this is what's crazy about Oppenheimer winning.
Bowen Yang
Get angry. Yep.
Matt Rogers
Come on.
Bowen Yang
I can feel Barbie was a better movie. Use this rage in a positive way. We all need to do that. Especially now it's more than ever. Let's organize. Starting now. Use this female rage about Oppenheimer.
Sarah Sherman
See it? That's crazy.
Bowen Yang
Use your female rage against Oppenheimer to make a big point.
Sarah Sherman
Episode 8 should have won the Oscar. Say that.
Bowen Yang
Yeah.
Sarah Sherman
You know, it couldn't have been nominated for Oscar. Maybe if you were announcing the Oscars.
Matt Rogers
You could have just said season three, episode eight.
Sarah Sherman
Yes. That is what I believe about the universe and like, about religion and everything is something that David lynch put in a TV show that anyone could watch.
Matt Rogers
That's amazing.
Sarah Sherman
And that's what culture is for me and for you and for you and for everybody. It's culture. That's for everybody.
Bowen Yang
Yeah.
Sarah Sherman
It's not. It's not culture that you find in a little box at, like, Bucket of Blood Records in Chicago. Cool weirdo store with a bunch of.
Bowen Yang
You know, like freaks. Weirdos. Weirdos. The outcasts, the misfits, those who haven't belonged once in their life that can find community in a place like that, in a place like this, quite frankly, this. And I don't say this in a pejorative sense. I say it in an inclusive way. Really not giving much credence to my point earlier, which shows that people can change.
Matt Rogers
You're saying people can change.
Bowen Yang
I've changed, obviously, in the last 20 minutes. Here I am using this in a beautiful, inclusive way when before I said it was usually in a dismissive way. It's just really interesting. I credit you with bringing up. Not bringing up with bringing yourself to the conversation today, period. No, I was going to keep going.
Sarah Sherman
It is a culture. It's not just for the queer. For once.
Bowen Yang
For once, the weirdos have had too good for too long.
Sarah Sherman
And this is what brings back to traders.
Bowen Yang
Lots of weirdos running around.
Sarah Sherman
Yes.
Matt Rogers
A lot of queers.
Sarah Sherman
Yes, ma'am.
Bowen Yang
Yeah.
Sarah Sherman
When you ask me, are people inherently good or evil? It can be answered in episode eight.
Matt Rogers
That's what an incredible callback.
Bowen Yang
And the answer would that they're saying is no. People are born good.
Matt Rogers
People were born good until the. Until the nuclear.
Bowen Yang
The Great Disruption.
Sarah Sherman
The Great Disruption. And it. There were so many fractures and fissures in time space that it can. That like this, like, demonic force can really crawl in kind of whether or not you invite it, because we've created.
Bowen Yang
Man made a fissure.
Sarah Sherman
Fissure.
Matt Rogers
Fissure. We're not happy that you use that word.
Sarah Sherman
No, because of sitting on.
Bowen Yang
Remaining on the toilet made our buttholes hurt when you said fissure. Have you ever.
Sarah Sherman
Nobody in this room has more hemorrhoids than me. Nobody in this room.
Matt Rogers
I feel like. It feels apocalyptic when I have one.
Sarah Sherman
It feel. It's a disability. I'm not kidding.
Matt Rogers
Can I do this? This might be a little gross. This is my. This is me on the toilet with a hemorrhoid. Oh, okay.
Bowen Yang
My might be a little gross.
Matt Rogers
Okay.
Bowen Yang
Hey, are you jacking off?
Matt Rogers
No, I'm. It's hurts so much that I have to.
Bowen Yang
While you're supposed to get up, you're not supposed to be sitting there.
Matt Rogers
No, I'm sitting there, and I'm like.
Sarah Sherman
Because you have. If you keep moving, then it won't, like.
Matt Rogers
Yeah. Then, like, it's a way to, like, get it out. But it's just my foot has to move. I get restless leg.
Sarah Sherman
I hate.
Bowen Yang
There's literally nothing worse than, like. Like a localized injury. It's not good.
Matt Rogers
Concentrated pain. Wait, was that gonna be your answer to what was the culture that made you say cultures for me? Yes. And then. But then you also said over text that you had opinions about housewives.
Bowen Yang
Well, can I. And this is my great reveal.
Sarah Sherman
Yes.
Bowen Yang
Can I show you what I have?
Sarah Sherman
Stop. Wait. Can I even guess what it is?
Bowen Yang
Yes.
Sarah Sherman
It's Heather Gay's Mormon book shirt.
Matt Rogers
Here we go. Ooh.
Sarah Sherman
Ooh.
Matt Rogers
Okay.
Bowen Yang
Oh, I feel for me too.
Matt Rogers
Wow. Lisa.
Bowen Yang
I feel for me too.
Sarah Sherman
Come on, the pod. Lisa.
Matt Rogers
Lisa.
Sarah Sherman
Lisa Barlow.
Bowen Yang
At this point, they really are all invited.
Matt Rogers
They're all invited. Truly? After all the work, the public service they did, including Britney Bateman.
Sarah Sherman
Oh, my.
Matt Rogers
Give it up for Britney.
Bowen Yang
No, honestly. Yeah. Yeah, Honestly. Watch when Brittany comes on the podcast and is, like, low key, funnier and smarter than us.
Matt Rogers
No.
Bowen Yang
Well, the thing about culture is it actually started. And she tells us. She comes in, like a true cultural anthropologist, like a full 10 MBAs, talking.
Sarah Sherman
About, like, culture and, like, caveman time.
Bowen Yang
Yeah, she's like. Well, actually, fire began when a caveman actually. Really? It was collaborative, and it was really the first collaboration.
Sarah Sherman
Wait, who am I actually? Abraham Lincoln had Greek Versace playing.
Bowen Yang
Are you Angie?
Sarah Sherman
That was anthropology.
Matt Rogers
That was anthropology. Angie Katsanevis, the Queen of America.
Bowen Yang
Did you listen to her episode of Lost Culture?
Sarah Sherman
She was on Lost Cult.
Bowen Yang
She was the last guest before.
Matt Rogers
You're so stupid.
Sarah Sherman
You know what's so interesting? Well, I told you this And I actually don't want to say this on the podcast.
Bowen Yang
What edit.
Sarah Sherman
I'm only listening to music from now on.
Matt Rogers
No, don't leave that in.
Bowen Yang
Leave that in.
Matt Rogers
I think we would all benefit from that.
Sarah Sherman
I just am, like worried about replacing my inner chatter with outer chatter. And so I have been replacing all talking in the ears with singing.
Matt Rogers
Actual structured sound.
Sarah Sherman
You don't listen to the episode.
Bowen Yang
Make sure I say anything about after for edits. Oh, to make sure that nothing slips through the cracks.
Matt Rogers
Right.
Bowen Yang
Because this one's always starting off with some problematic stuff. Every third word. It's a big slur. Big slur. I said listen unedited lost coach. You'll be taking a vacation. A big slur.
Sarah Sherman
You leave a pussy on the shelf for too long, it'll start to leak.
Bowen Yang
Pussy is not a slur. That doesn't count. Pussy, pussy, pussy. Come for me.
Sarah Sherman
My brother, when I was growing up, said to me, he said that he thought pussy was a vegetable. Cause my dad said it so much.
Matt Rogers
Why would he think he was a vegetable?
Sarah Sherman
Cause my dad would be like, get back on the field, you fucking pussy.
Matt Rogers
So you thought it was a vegetable?
Bowen Yang
Cause it was in the fields where vegetables grow. Right. Wow, am I warm.
Sarah Sherman
This might be Long Island Lifestyle.
Matt Rogers
Yeah, totally.
Bowen Yang
You'll never believe this story. So my sister comes home one day when she's five. She's had to write a book about her family. So it's like, this is my mom. I love my mom a lot. This is what my mom says to me. I love you. This is my dad. I love my dad a lot. This is what my dad says to me. It's a picture of him on the couch and it says, peanut, go grab me a beer from the fridge, girl. Hey, Peanut, go grab me a beer from the fridge.
Sarah Sherman
Talk about it.
Bowen Yang
I wrote it as a five year old and brought it back to our family and was like, this is what my mom says. This is what my dad says. Because my dad would send us into the. Into the. Grab me a beer, bring it in.
Matt Rogers
Classic.
Sarah Sherman
Well, you know how I just said that there's only been one artist who has presented my theory of everything? I was wrong. It's your sister. It's not David?
Matt Rogers
No.
Bowen Yang
There was something in there that spoke to the universe for sure. My mom says, I love you. My dad says, hey, Peanut, go grab me a beer from the fridge.
Matt Rogers
I can't believe I've never heard this before. That's incredible.
Bowen Yang
It's unbelievable. It's so good, Peanut.
Sarah Sherman
My dad used to Be.
Bowen Yang
Yeah. Were you peanut?
Sarah Sherman
I was peanut. And also yo, sports fan.
Bowen Yang
Oh, wow.
Sarah Sherman
Is that something? Yo, sport fan. Get me in whatever.
Bowen Yang
Sports fan is a lot of fun. It's a lot of fun. I was bug.
Matt Rogers
Bug.
Bowen Yang
Cause I would crawl around all the time and never sit still. Still, to this day, you know how hard it is for me to sit right here? Unbearable. I want to be crawling all over this place.
Sarah Sherman
Did you see you're about to be, like, bowing on the toilet?
Bowen Yang
Like, I want to crawl over this place. Spread my seed. I gotta come, quite frankly. Oh, I want to do it now.
Sarah Sherman
Oh, what color would it be when it came out?
Bowen Yang
You don't want to know. Fine. I'll tell you. White. I'm a normal guy. White as snow. My cum.
Sarah Sherman
You guys should do a manosphere episode.
Bowen Yang
All right, so now we're actually gonna come, and then we're gonna see what colors it is. All right.
Matt Rogers
We're gonna figure out the hex code for the cum color.
Bowen Yang
So who thinks this one is Bowen's? Come.
Sarah Sherman
Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding.
Bowen Yang
We immediately get a huge deal with Barstool Sports. We leave iHeart.
Matt Rogers
We leave iHeart. We go to Barstool. For some reason on Barstool, now they're talking about Japanese pizzas. I'm like, I got a thing on my feed.
Sarah Sherman
It's like, what is a Japanese pizza?
Matt Rogers
Like, the pizza in Japan is like.
Bowen Yang
And talk about that.
Matt Rogers
Oh, it's an. It's amazing pizza. That's. That's all I can say.
Sarah Sherman
Really?
Bowen Yang
That's all you can say? What? Talk about it. What is it makes it so good?
Matt Rogers
The dough, the sauce, the toppings?
Sarah Sherman
Would it be as amazing as Mary Cosby's avocado pizza looked?
Bowen Yang
Thoughts on Mary Cosby this year and her behavior in the finale.
Sarah Sherman
What can you say about a philosopher king?
Matt Rogers
That a lot.
Bowen Yang
That's actually a great point.
Matt Rogers
You can say a lot about a philosopher king.
Bowen Yang
Yeah, I agree with that.
Sarah Sherman
Like, it's cr. I get why people join the cult.
Matt Rogers
She speaks.
Sarah Sherman
I just felt like she was speaking with such clarity this season that I thought that she was channeling spirit for real, but didn't.
Bowen Yang
Weren't you upset at the end when she was really trying it with Angie? She was like, I was wrong about you.
Matt Rogers
That was so insane.
Bowen Yang
It was absurd.
Sarah Sherman
But then she was like. Angie was like, hey. And she was like, you're right. I have abandonment issues. And it was like, great.
Matt Rogers
But so she needed Angie to get there, right? To get to. So Angie is the real star here.
Sarah Sherman
Year I think Angie is the star of the show.
Bowen Yang
Yes, I would agree.
Sarah Sherman
She's top five housewife for me.
Matt Rogers
Truly for me.
Bowen Yang
Say now. You have to say your top five.
Sarah Sherman
Carlton, she's crazy.
Bowen Yang
You need to be in an asylum.
Matt Rogers
The witch.
Sarah Sherman
Ra. Mona.
Bowen Yang
Okay.
Sarah Sherman
Singer.
Matt Rogers
Ra.
Bowen Yang
Carlton.
Matt Rogers
Singer.
Bowen Yang
Angie.
Matt Rogers
Angie.
Sarah Sherman
Angie.
Bowen Yang
Okay, who is rounding out this five?
Sarah Sherman
Karen.
Bowen Yang
Yeah.
Matt Rogers
Oh, yeah.
Sarah Sherman
That can't be my five.
Matt Rogers
Karen.
Bowen Yang
One more.
Sarah Sherman
Oh.
Bowen Yang
Hold on.
Sarah Sherman
You don't even have to have it on my phone. I feel like I wrote on my phone.
Bowen Yang
It's like there's a fold. There's a folder with drag names. There's a folder with my favorite housewives.
Sarah Sherman
My favorite karaoke songs.
Matt Rogers
Okay. But this is a nice spread. You have. You have Roni, Beverly Hills, Potomac, Salt Lake. You're missing what I want.
Bowen Yang
You need a Miami cake. You need Adriana in. Yeah, but you know what?
Sarah Sherman
I actually. Marisol's mom.
Matt Rogers
Oh, yeah. Elsa.
Sarah Sherman
Yeah. Wait, so what do I. Carlton, Ramona. Actually. Mary Cosby. Angie.
Bowen Yang
Wow.
Sarah Sherman
And then no.
Matt Rogers
Karen. Elsa. Not. Not even.
Bowen Yang
Even the. This week. You're gonna knock Karen out.
Sarah Sherman
Yeah. Throw her back in there. Cause does it count? Does the body cam footage count as an episode of Housewives?
Bowen Yang
I think so.
Sarah Sherman
I think it's canon because that is just, like.
Matt Rogers
It's so sad.
Bowen Yang
So when she's sitting in the jail cell getting interrogated and she just has. She's babbling, and then she goes, thomas Jefferson's concubine.
Sarah Sherman
It's just like, you don't get that kind of genius anywhere else in this world.
Matt Rogers
She is one of the funniest people.
Sarah Sherman
To ever love that. Talk about channeling the muse in the room. Like, be in the room where that happens. Yeah, like, that is a top five.
Bowen Yang
You stand in my top five or.
Matt Rogers
Oh, God, sure. Well, can we just point out stereo standing out of Karen's body cam footage.
Bowen Yang
And Britney B. Oh, my top five is Britney Bateman. No, just kidding.
Sarah Sherman
I would respect. I would respect that immensely.
Bowen Yang
I do think she's had a wild, incredible season.
Matt Rogers
Yes.
Bowen Yang
Like, this is. It is funny, fun.
Matt Rogers
The Jared.
Sarah Sherman
You guys, I've never recorded in my life.
Bowen Yang
I was trying to send a video to my daughter. She got a good grade on her math test. She just started speaking to me again.
Matt Rogers
You guys.
Bowen Yang
You guys have an announcement. My daughter's speaking to me. What?
Sarah Sherman
This is. I don't want you.
Bowen Yang
Would you singing Pink Pony Club throughout the airport.
Sarah Sherman
It's amazing.
Bowen Yang
It's brilliant.
Sarah Sherman
To all housewives.
Bowen Yang
Past, future, past, future and present. Take notes.
Sarah Sherman
Like, this is what happens. When you're off your phone. So we're actually referring to someone who literally just made a TikTok. But, like, when you're off your phone and just being you and you're not, like, worried about how people perceive you.
Matt Rogers
No podcast, no outer chatter in your inner chat.
Bowen Yang
When you're off your phone and just being you, it's incredible what you can do on your phone. That's essentially what you just said. When you really clear that. When you just let the music speak and you just put away your phone, pick up your phone, see what happens. Amazing shit. The content, especially now in the new.
Sarah Sherman
Era of TikTok Baby and Outcast and Vagabonds and Dragulators, it's like. It's like. That is like. There's so many people are trying to manufacture Housewife dumb.
Matt Rogers
Yes.
Sarah Sherman
And they're trying to.
Matt Rogers
Ron.
Bowen Yang
I don't think Bronwyn is as guilty of that as other. I mean, let's call a spade a spade.
Sarah Sherman
Yes.
Bowen Yang
My critique for the finale of Salt Lake, I did not need them to do that. Stupid.
Matt Rogers
That game was made.
Bowen Yang
That game was so.
Matt Rogers
So Heather, as we'll put Heather, I.
Bowen Yang
Don'T think she even believed. Believed in it. I think. I think they told her, like, to do this, and then she was like, yeah, fine. And then it just. I. Not one element of the show felt like they were pushing that hard for drama until that moment. And I was just like, I just don't believe this.
Matt Rogers
It tripped at the finish line a little bit.
Sarah Sherman
I think it's like, we're at a point with Housewives where push has come to shove, and it's like, in order for anything to be. I think New York is Evident is evidence of this. If it's just, like. It just has to be crazy. And that's why I do respect Heather doing that, because she's like, well, it's the finale episode. We're all sitting at the table, and it has to be insane, because what I.
Bowen Yang
What was my favorite was her cadence. We're gonna take out our phones, we're gonna find the worst thing we've ever said about someone here, and then we're gonna hand over our phone and we're gonna read it diabolically and we're gonna move forward.
Sarah Sherman
Do you think she scripted. She scripted that?
Bowen Yang
No, I don't.
Sarah Sherman
You don't think she had a notes app on her phone that was like, guys, guys.
Matt Rogers
What I find suspicious was that they all, like, remember when Lisa, like, zoomed the fuck in?
Sarah Sherman
Yeah.
Matt Rogers
And, like, was like, Swiping, swiping, swiping. So it's like they. Screenshot. They had text at the ready. I think that was prepared. There was something produced.
Bowen Yang
It was very produced. It was very. It was the only moment of the season that I felt was, like, inorganic.
Sarah Sherman
Yeah.
Bowen Yang
And I didn't like it.
Sarah Sherman
I. I did like it because I just felt like Heather was like, I have. I. I left not a single crumb last season.
Bowen Yang
No. And she's just like, she actually deserves an Emmy.
Sarah Sherman
She does.
Matt Rogers
She does. She does.
Sarah Sherman
Because she wrote that.
Bowen Yang
And.
Sarah Sherman
And it's like she was like, the way I tore that last year, like, the only way I can one up myself is if I do the craziest thing possible, which is she did the craziest thing possible.
Matt Rogers
There was a moment there where the language was even kind of like mirroring last season where she goes, we're all obsessed with. With receipts. We're all obsessed with proof. Like. Like, she's caught herself mid list. Being like, oh, I gotta change up the. Yeah, the words a little bit. But it was receipts, proof, timeline.
Bowen Yang
I actually, like, earlier in the year, like, in our group chat, people were like, oh, Heather's not having a great season. She's not like, in it. I'm like, actually, I totally disagree because I think Heather Gay is the audience.
Matt Rogers
Yep.
Bowen Yang
And she's the best narrator on the show. And she's the lead of the show. She's the protagonist. So it's fine by me that she's not, like, totally, like, racked with whatever is going on. I feel like she's had a lot of that and I kind of enjoy watching her watch what's happening.
Sarah Sherman
Right.
Bowen Yang
That's how I feel about Ms. Gay.
Sarah Sherman
Ms. Gay.
Bowen Yang
I was talking about you. I wasn't talking about her. That's how I feel about everyone.
Sarah Sherman
As everyone knows, my straight power fist.
Matt Rogers
Wow.
Bowen Yang
Even this week.
Matt Rogers
Limp wristed somehow.
Bowen Yang
Even this week.
Sarah Sherman
Well, the ymca. Him dancing to the YMCA is like, is Brittany Bateman level. It's like, totally. We're. We are giving a standing O to the Village People. You tore that.
Matt Rogers
You tore this.
Sarah Sherman
You tore this. And you know this to be true. But like, if Britney, Brittany Bateman, they're. They're a perfect cast because they're every archetype.
Matt Rogers
Yeah. Of housewife and they're themselves.
Sarah Sherman
But Heather Gay is not. And that is what Mary was saying too. Mary. When Mary was like, heather, you've changed and you're not, you know, you're not yourself. She's like, you are becoming too aware and too into the fandom. And, like, you're Rihanna's favorite, and you're performing and you're producing, but Heather, like, kind of needs to do that a little bit.
Bowen Yang
Yeah, I think it's unfair. I think. I think you need. You do need Heather to do what Heather has done.
Sarah Sherman
Right. Because you have Brittany Bateman. Like, if everyone was Brittany Bateman, it'll be unwatchable.
Bowen Yang
Well, the rest of them are not capable of doing that. Like, Lisa Barlow is not capable. And I'm wearing her on my shirt. I have deep respect over my heart. She's not capable of being like, hey, guys, to the producers. What do you guys need? Let me execute that for you. One.
Matt Rogers
One person can do that in the cast. Chaos besides Heather, which is Angie.
Bowen Yang
Oh, you think?
Matt Rogers
I think.
Bowen Yang
I think Angie's a. I think Angie, too, is a chaos agent, and she's living.
Sarah Sherman
She's truthfully living her life as the. The wife of a beautiful game.
Bowen Yang
She's more grounded.
Matt Rogers
But Angie can, like, zoom out and, like, the way she handled the Mary thing, I'm like, she can. She can do this.
Bowen Yang
Yeah.
Matt Rogers
She's so aware in the best and in the exact right way.
Bowen Yang
Yes. She has an understanding of that, of the situations in a way where she's like, you know, when it. It's time to put your foot on the gas. And like, whenever it's Meredith spinning in a circle at her own bat mitzvah, being like, Dakota, like, Angie knows. Like, I'm upset, but this is good. Meanwhile, it's like Mary melting down. Like, there's a bone in every housewives body that if they were to scratch that bone, it would just be like, let me continue fighting this woman. But Angie knew. It is not. I'm not arguing with Mary Cosby about.
Sarah Sherman
This saying high body count hair. It's like, I actually take back what I said about Ms. Gay needing an Emmy for her writing. It is Angie. Because we're getting lines like high body count hair. And we're getting lines like, one foot in the grave and another.
Matt Rogers
And then she. And then she even wrote something for this show where I don't think so, honey. Was. I don't think so Any high body kind of hair. And then she goes, if you come to Lunatic Fringe Salon, by the way, the name.
Bowen Yang
Oh, no. When we. First of all, when we saw. I didn't know it was called Lunatic Fringe.
Sarah Sherman
Triangle hair vibes. Lunatic fringe.
Bowen Yang
I saw.
Matt Rogers
I saw Saron vibes.
Bowen Yang
Well, then I. Look, I didn't know that it was actually a phrase like the lunatic fringe references actually, like groups of people. It's not just two words that sound great together.
Matt Rogers
It's like she's like a. Like Sarah Norman genius. I worship this one.
Sarah Sherman
The text.
Bowen Yang
Yeah, we do. And she was great on the show. You should listen to that.
Sarah Sherman
She also, like, she looks perfect.
Matt Rogers
This is the write the joke level. Writing.
Bowen Yang
Yeah, yeah, this is good.
Matt Rogers
She goes, you come to Ludwig Fringe, you have a get laid guarantee. If you don't have sex, come back. I'll fuck you myself, girl.
Sarah Sherman
Then they say Rome was not built in a day.
Bowen Yang
No.
Matt Rogers
What can you possibly mean by that?
Bowen Yang
And you're talking about a Greek woman, so watch it. So don't stop with this Roman imagery. We're talking about a Greek legend.
Sarah Sherman
Built a. A hair empire because she was laying.
Matt Rogers
Brick by brick in the cultural wasteland of Salt Lake City.
Sarah Sherman
It is, by the way. It is.
Bowen Yang
I'm a pillar of the community.
Matt Rogers
Oh, my God.
Bowen Yang
Do I have an Angie orange?
Sarah Sherman
Go, go. Do Meredith.
Bowen Yang
Well, Meredith, it was. I thought it was really interesting how you attacked me and you were very rude to me. There's not much. I'm specific. I have to work on it. It's there. It's a healing journey. I'm in a real place of healing.
Sarah Sherman
I fucking love her. I fucking love her.
Bowen Yang
I want. She needs to have a better season next year. And I actually blame the. I think the producers cut out a lot of her shit.
Matt Rogers
Oh, insert interesting. Because, like, we love Whitney.
Sarah Sherman
I love her. I think she's the most stunning woman alive, period.
Bowen Yang
One of the only housewives I've done a shot with.
Sarah Sherman
Oh.
Matt Rogers
Oh.
Sarah Sherman
And how did that present itself?
Bowen Yang
Well, we were both at High Tops West Hollywood.
Sarah Sherman
Good for her.
Bowen Yang
Likely place for us to be.
Sarah Sherman
She is a gay guy.
Matt Rogers
She's a gay guy.
Sarah Sherman
She is.
Matt Rogers
She was.
Bowen Yang
She's a gay guy. She's not as much of a gay guy as Angie K. Oh, sure.
Sarah Sherman
Well.
Matt Rogers
But when. When Sudi and I were at Shocked, she was in the audience and then he's like, say hi to. I was like, I'm too shy.
Bowen Yang
Bowen. But this is. Bowen is. So you guys work with the biggest A listers week in and week out.
Sarah Sherman
These are our A list.
Bowen Yang
Meredith Marks came to the Fire island premiere years ago with Seth and Brooks. I. I went over to her to say that was the first time we had ever met. I said, bowen, come over here. He said, no, I'm not doing that.
Sarah Sherman
No, it's.
Bowen Yang
He's like. He was too scared.
Sarah Sherman
I get that.
Matt Rogers
I love these people. With all my heart and her scratched.
Sarah Sherman
Cornea really concerned me.
Bowen Yang
Meredith doesn't stop creating content.
Sarah Sherman
I'm saying this as someone who will be buying her. What is it? Pink microphones that she's selling.
Bowen Yang
You don't think I have the entire Meredith Marks collection and have been to the store in Park City? You're incorrect.
Matt Rogers
What are the pink.
Bowen Yang
You'd be deeply mistaken.
Sarah Sherman
Okay, do you remember at the end when it was like during the finale when they put the title cards up like what they're doing now and they came by so fast.
Matt Rogers
I had a punch very fast.
Sarah Sherman
I couldn't. We're listen, we're all professional readers. Readers could not read that.
Bowen Yang
Yeah, I love reading.
Matt Rogers
Fluent in language.
Bowen Yang
I love reading quick.
Matt Rogers
Yeah, love.
Bowen Yang
So good at it.
Sarah Sherman
This is my first language.
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Matt Rogers
Save the date, prepare for chaos and.
Bowen Yang
Get ready for your cordially invited a hilarious new movie starring comedy icons Will Ferrell and Reese Witherspoon together on screen for the first time. It's written and directed by Nicholas Stoller of Forgetting Sarah Marshall and neighbors.
Matt Rogers
Find out what happens when two weddings are accidentally booked on the weekend at the same remote venue. Uh oh. In a laugh out loud battle of determination and grit, the father of the bride, played by Will Ferrell, and sister of the other bride, played by Reese Witherspoon chaotically go head to head and will stop at nothing to pull off an unforgettable celebration for the ones they love.
Bowen Yang
And if you think you've been to a wedding where crazy things happen, prepare for alligator attacks, sabotage, shipwrecks, cornhole and all star comedy cameos. Will the couples make it down the aisle? Will fire regulations be violated? Find out. In this perfect blend of hijinks and heartstrings, it's time to RSVP for Feral vs. Witherspoon in their new wedding comedy. You're cordially invited.
Matt Rogers
Watch January 30th on Prime Video.
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Sarah Sherman
Post election day spike ever.
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Bowen Yang
Make America a affordable again.
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Listen to the indicator from NPR on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get podcasts.
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Jon Stewart is back in the host chair at the Daily show, which means he's also back in our ears on the Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. The Daily show podcast has everything you need to stay on top of today's news and pop culture. You get hilarious satirical takes on entertainment, politics, sports, and more from John and the team of correspondents and contributors. The podcast also has content you can't get anywhere else, like extended interviews and a roundup of the weekly headlines. Listen to the Daily Show Ears edition on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Matt Rogers
Top five housewives.
Bowen Yang
What are yours?
Matt Rogers
Stacey Rush.
Sarah Sherman
You are crazy.
Matt Rogers
I watch her QVC videos.
Bowen Yang
He does. It's like asmrm.
Matt Rogers
It's ASMR to me. They're so soothing.
Sarah Sherman
Jesus bracelet.
Matt Rogers
And as a proud Christian woman, I.
Bowen Yang
Love having God right here on my wrist. As a proud Christian woman, she is.
Matt Rogers
No, she is actually a revolutionary housewife because she is showing you that you can be a positive, loving person and still succeed.
Sarah Sherman
And you could have the most beautiful boobs on tv.
Matt Rogers
And you are the most gorgeously stacked person to ever be on television. Her body is insane. Body.
Sarah Sherman
Her body is. Her body is d. Her body is Celsius. Her body is dying.
Matt Rogers
Look at that. I mean, Becca, that's the most gorgeous woman alive.
Bowen Yang
Yeah. And to think she's dating a man who will not have sex.
Matt Rogers
That's crazy. And that. That's part of her.
Sarah Sherman
What. What is going on there with. Miss.
Bowen Yang
Let me think about it. Let me think about it for even more than one or two seconds. Seconds.
Matt Rogers
Ms. Gay, I think.
Bowen Yang
I think.
Matt Rogers
But we love Stacey. I love Stacey Rushes in my top five.
Sarah Sherman
Listen, I'm never gonna shame an actor who wants camera time.
Matt Rogers
Sure.
Bowen Yang
And you're. And you are never gonna do that. You respect the out of those guys. I respect the out of those guys. Any actor out here who's grinding, doing their best, putting one foot in front of the other in this grind we call Hollywood. I respect the. The fuck out of those guys. Excuse my language, but it's true. And it's really difficult.
Sarah Sherman
Say it for the hard of hearing. Meredith Marxist. People in the back.
Bowen Yang
Whoa. I thought you just said Meredith Marxist. And I thought that's a good drag.
Matt Rogers
That's a great drag. Name Meredith Marxist. Oh, my God.
Sarah Sherman
IPhone list.
Matt Rogers
IPhone list.
Bowen Yang
Meredith Marx.
Matt Rogers
Wait, can I just say When I was in college, when I was in Denver for the holidays, it was this huge event all over Grindr. People were like, we're going to Meredith Marks. Meredith Marks is going to show up at Tracks, this nightclub by the train tracks. It was like the entire town was getting ready for, like, a presidential visit.
Bowen Yang
That's an A list Tracks appearance.
Matt Rogers
No, of course. And I was like, I am not. I'm going to sit this one out.
Sarah Sherman
Because of fear.
Matt Rogers
Because of fear. No, but we love Meredith.
Bowen Yang
Meredith came, obviously. Meredith, famously, as the readers know, came to the Cultural Awards and delivered a great performance and accepted an award in person on behalf of all the ladies. And then came out to the after party afterwards and was hanging out.
Matt Rogers
She is a good hair.
Sarah Sherman
This is what I was saying about the. The title card. When it said at the end of the title cards, it said that she's coming out with listening. Pink listening devices.
Bowen Yang
Yeah, well, she's got a handicap microphone. She's a handicapped woman.
Sarah Sherman
But because Brit, she thought we're making.
Bowen Yang
Fun of the differently abled. I understand. You make fun of disabilities now.
Sarah Sherman
My family.
Matt Rogers
Matt, dear, on a really underappreciated line during the whole, like, recording freak out in the Sprinter van. What is it?
Bowen Yang
I invited you into my home.
Matt Rogers
No, that.
Bowen Yang
And then she's been saying lies and spreading lies. She goes for saying lies and spreading lies. Like saying and spreading being two different things. For saying lies and spreading lies. Is she absolutely rock.
Matt Rogers
She rocks.
Sarah Sherman
Garbage, horror posts.
Matt Rogers
Meredith. Stacy.
Sarah Sherman
I just.
Matt Rogers
Luanne. And then I'm gonna say I. Luanne.
Bowen Yang
Yeah.
Sarah Sherman
Oh, I forgot.
Bowen Yang
Oh, no, we can.
Sarah Sherman
Luan and Sonia.
Matt Rogers
Yeah, we can share the list. Charay.
Sarah Sherman
Yeah.
Matt Rogers
Oh, Charay Whitfield.
Sarah Sherman
This is. This is the list.
Matt Rogers
And I'm gonna say. I'm gonna say Alexia.
Bowen Yang
Alexia is pretty good.
Matt Rogers
Alexia. Alexia is huge for me.
Bowen Yang
Well, I'm gonna say Adriana tomorrow.
Sarah Sherman
Okay.
Bowen Yang
Adriana's amazing. I'm gonna say Meredith.
Matt Rogers
Yes.
Sarah Sherman
Yeah.
Bowen Yang
I'm gonna say. If you say Meredith, I'm gonna say Dolores. Catania.
Matt Rogers
Oh, you love Dolores.
Bowen Yang
And I'm gonna say. Who do I laugh at?
Sarah Sherman
Sonia. Like, how is Sonia nominated?
Bowen Yang
Honestly, Sonia to me is diminishing. Right.
Matt Rogers
Return Kenya.
Sarah Sherman
Sure.
Bowen Yang
Kenya is tough for me because as incredibly fabulous as she is, I don't think I'm, like, chuckling and laughing along. Honestly, in. In good times. Portia.
Matt Rogers
I was going to say Portia. You like Portia?
Bowen Yang
Portia's unbelievable. And also, you know who I think is actually a top five housewife? And I take the good and the bad nene, Erika Jayne.
Matt Rogers
Oh, oh, sure. Totally.
Bowen Yang
Erika Jane is unforgettable character on television.
Sarah Sherman
Yeah, yeah. And it's like if we're like paying homage to what the show homage for the zooby zoos in the room. It's like that is what the show is. It's a soap opera. And she is a soap opera character.
Bowen Yang
I mean, literally named after Erica Kane.
Matt Rogers
Wow.
Sarah Sherman
My soul left my body.
Bowen Yang
Yeah. You met her.
Matt Rogers
No, wait. I don't know who Erica Kane is.
Sarah Sherman
I did General Hospital.
Matt Rogers
Right.
Bowen Yang
Erica Kane is Susan Lucci's character on. On All My Children and All My Children, the most famous soap opera character.
Matt Rogers
And it was. And. But Sarah was on General Hospital. Yes, yes. That is the most iconic thing anyone's ever done.
Sarah Sherman
Well, and talk about.
Bowen Yang
You were on General Hospital.
Sarah Sherman
You didn't know this, I bet. I literally. I said, hey. I. Hey, please. And they were like, are you like kidding because you're a comedian. Are you kidding? And I was like, I'm one million.
Bowen Yang
Did you do one General Hospital?
Sarah Sherman
They were like. So they.
Matt Rogers
She's a speech. She's a speech therapist.
Sarah Sherman
I'm a speech therapist.
Bowen Yang
Are you kidding me?
Matt Rogers
She's amazing.
Sarah Sherman
I come in for one episode, can't do a serious face going. Because you know, it is true what they say on soap like that in soap operas, you know, at the end of a scene, it holds on everyone's facial reaction.
Bowen Yang
Yeah, like this. And I. I really do want to go beyond.
Sarah Sherman
You'd be amazing.
Bowen Yang
All I want to do is act.
Sarah Sherman
And guess what they do. Hundred pages of dialogue a fucking day. Do your respect speech. Put respect on that. With the soap opera actors. What were you saying with respect speech that you just did earlier?
Bowen Yang
I respect the hell out of them.
Sarah Sherman
I respect the hell out of those actress.
Bowen Yang
You know, it's. Think about how many greats we've got from soaps. Julianne Moore.
Sarah Sherman
Oh, Lisa.
Matt Rogers
Rinna Telly Ripa.
Sarah Sherman
I did when I hosted my game show. My hamster game show. My.
Bowen Yang
Let that sink in.
Matt Rogers
You don't even know the half of it. With this hamster game show. Let's keep going.
Bowen Yang
Who was competing? The hamsters?
Sarah Sherman
Yes, they were just. Yes, they were.
Matt Rogers
But the humans too. All right.
Bowen Yang
Well, I would imagine.
Matt Rogers
And there. And therein lies the rug.
Sarah Sherman
Lies the rug. I was my co host, Kyle. Shout out.
Matt Rogers
Shout out.
Sarah Sherman
He did soap operas and he was like, bitch, you have no idea the level of acting talent. He said that all of his co stars could. When they were like, hey, you know, the director would be like, can we get one single tear rolling down your cheek? They would go, which eye?
Bowen Yang
Fuck. Which eye, bitch?
Sarah Sherman
Which. Which I. Yeah, you could do that, though. You could. Which I. You could.
Matt Rogers
I certainly couldn't.
Bowen Yang
Which I.
Sarah Sherman
So at the end of every scene, like, they literally do the whole, like, hold for reaction. Hold for reaction. But my crunchy ass literally doing this in my reaction shots. They're fucking amazing. I couldn't believe everyone is so fucking amazing at acting in General Hospital. It's like in.
Bowen Yang
Okay, you know what? I'm throwing it out there. I want to be on General Hospital. I'm serious. Like, I would love to come in and do whatever you guys need.
Matt Rogers
They're not going to want to let you go.
Bowen Yang
That's fine. I would.
Matt Rogers
I'll do a recurring role, period.
Bowen Yang
I would love to.
Sarah Sherman
It is like one take. Everybody done. Everyone's off book day of, day of. They get the script and then they go, got it.
Matt Rogers
Wow.
Sarah Sherman
And I legit. Never been more nervous in my life. Because you're actually with pros who are like, they do this every. Yeah, yeah.
Matt Rogers
I'm sorry. I don't mean to make this about me. I want to put something out there. What? I want to do a pro wrestling.
Bowen Yang
Thing that will be really good.
Sarah Sherman
Yes.
Matt Rogers
I went to. I went. I went to New Japan. New Japan Pro Wrestling at the Tokyo Dome. It was the most amazing thing I've ever seen in my life. From children to elderly women screaming.
Sarah Sherman
Hilarious.
Matt Rogers
Hilarious.
Sarah Sherman
Acrobatic.
Matt Rogers
I just.
Sarah Sherman
Fabulous.
Matt Rogers
It's all my favorite things. Costume.
Bowen Yang
Ask John Cena for tips.
Matt Rogers
John.
Sarah Sherman
John.
Matt Rogers
Mandarin speaker John Cena. Yeah. Have you seen him do the ads for La Gonma?
Sarah Sherman
I guess not.
Matt Rogers
The Chili Crisp Cam knows. Oh, for the Chili Crisp. He's in his trailer. He's like.
Bowen Yang
It'S crazy good.
Sarah Sherman
Okay, so for those reading, listening, watching, Matt wants to be on General Hospital. Badly done. Bowen General Hospital. Done. Substance.
Bowen Yang
Like, hey, Substance 2.
Matt Rogers
Substance 2.
Sarah Sherman
Hey.
Bowen Yang
You find out Monstro is not dead. Monstrous slurps up and it's you.
Matt Rogers
I mean, and then you have to.
Bowen Yang
Go into SNL and it's meta. Oh, my God.
Sarah Sherman
And then monster Elias, who has to work at Starbucks, and she's just got to be a girl getting her shit together with Hollywood and, like, roommates.
Bowen Yang
How did I want you to. Could you possibly conjure up how you felt when you saw Monstro? Alyssa Sue. And when the text came on the screen that said Monstro, Alyssa Sue. Like, how did you feel?
Sarah Sherman
You're gonna, like, think I'm. I'm. Joshing around or kyling around or whatever you're gonna say. But, like, so I want. I. I went to the movie with my friend Eris, who, like, does, like.
Bowen Yang
I'm sorry, Eris.
Matt Rogers
How do you spell the name?
Bowen Yang
Eris Tour.
Sarah Sherman
Oh, wow.
Bowen Yang
If his name was Eris, he's had a hard two years.
Sarah Sherman
D, R, I, S. Eris. They.
Matt Rogers
Eris. But like the Final Fantasy character. Anyway, keep going.
Sarah Sherman
Yes. My friend Eris, who does practical effects, who did all the practical effects, and Sarah, Maxine. We went.
Matt Rogers
Vaccine.
Sarah Sherman
We went together, and when that happened, legit. Stood up.
Bowen Yang
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Matt Rogers
The more you do it, the less.
Sarah Sherman
And we were like. Yeah.
Bowen Yang
Like, literally.
Matt Rogers
Yeah.
Sarah Sherman
Because I. I didn't think people in the theater we saw it with were, like, screaming, laughing the whole time, but I don't think they. They did. They. They didn't feel like they had permission to stand and cheer. But it's cheer.
Matt Rogers
It's cheering. Oh, it's such a cheer.
Sarah Sherman
It's cheering.
Bowen Yang
Yeah.
Matt Rogers
Yeah.
Bowen Yang
Monstro. Elissa Sue.
Matt Rogers
I think because I saw it from home. I saw. I saw it at home, and I kept. Mind you, I was stoned. But it was the perfect way to watch it because I kept turning to Matt.
Sarah Sherman
Okay.
Matt Rogers
It's okay. I kept turning to Matt.
Sarah Sherman
Oh, wait. Holding space.
Matt Rogers
I. I turned to Matt, and I was like, I flatline.
Bowen Yang
I, I, I slowly stop. And I'm just.
Sarah Sherman
No, wait. Give me some of the energy. And now this is a circuit for.
Bowen Yang
We did say we couldn't do holding space jokes anymore.
Matt Rogers
First day, our weekend, Right.
Bowen Yang
This is the last time. Only for you. You're a little rascal.
Sarah Sherman
So this is like. You know what I mean? It's different.
Matt Rogers
Yeah. I kept saying to Matt. I was like, this is.
Bowen Yang
Yeah, he did minutes in. He was like, this is the best movie ever.
Matt Rogers
I was like, this rules. I love that movie.
Sarah Sherman
So fun.
Bowen Yang
And I love Demi.
Matt Rogers
Me. Oh, I loved me.
Sarah Sherman
She's the most beautiful woman who's ever graced the planet.
Matt Rogers
62. Yeah.
Sarah Sherman
Can you believe that's crazy?
Matt Rogers
Yep.
Sarah Sherman
How old is anyone?
Matt Rogers
I don't know.
Bowen Yang
You'd have to ask them.
Matt Rogers
And it's rude. In some cultures.
Bowen Yang
Yeah. In some cultures, that's rude.
Sarah Sherman
Do you want to hear say, I'm bouncing around. I'm so crazy. But I was like. It just scared me to think that we wouldn't be bringing this up my neighbor. Wait, this is so back. This is not what we're talking about.
Matt Rogers
No. Say it. Say it.
Sarah Sherman
I'm not. No, I'm flatlining.
Matt Rogers
No. Say it.
Bowen Yang
What?
Sarah Sherman
My neighbor is a brain scientist.
Matt Rogers
I don't think that's what they're called.
Bowen Yang
Neighbor, hack neighbor, legit.
Sarah Sherman
Sometimes I am kind of like, should I knock on her door and ask her if it's normal that I can feel the veins in my eyes?
Matt Rogers
That is. Knock, knock, knock. Hey.
Bowen Yang
Hi. How are you?
Sarah Sherman
Not me. Getting an aura ring and refreshing the app every five seconds.
Bowen Yang
I had a question about. I know you're off the clock. I can feel the veins in my eyes. Is this normal?
Matt Rogers
Which is not the brain.
Bowen Yang
Yeah, no, no, I'm not seeing the.
Sarah Sherman
Brain, but everything is. Everything is. Because actually isn't all of reality.
Bowen Yang
It's actually ruler culture number 94. It's not the brain, but everything is. We've never had a rule like negate itself.
Matt Rogers
Yeah, yeah.
Sarah Sherman
Well, all I'm saying is that all of reality is consciousness.
Matt Rogers
So period.
Sarah Sherman
Period.
Bowen Yang
That's. Wait, can you walk through that?
Sarah Sherman
It's just like, we could all be, like, literally in my dream right now.
Bowen Yang
So you're an egomaniac narcissist.
Matt Rogers
So you're a solipsist.
Bowen Yang
Sorry.
Sarah Sherman
We could all be in, like, Trump's dream.
Bowen Yang
That you threw it on him.
Matt Rogers
It's his day.
Bowen Yang
It is. This is all his dream, isn't it?
Sarah Sherman
It's like, I just. I'm sorry. I can't get over that he had fucking ymca.
Bowen Yang
You have to watch the Apprentice.
Matt Rogers
The movie.
Bowen Yang
Oh, wait, no, the movie. The movie with Sebastian. I love the Apprentice of the TV show. So does Bo Yang.
Matt Rogers
I loved it.
Bowen Yang
Well, back in the day. I liked it too.
Matt Rogers
It was the best show.
Bowen Yang
I did like the Apprentice back in the day when it was all fun games.
Sarah Sherman
Yes.
Bowen Yang
I'm talking about the Apprentice 2024 with Sebastian, Stan and Jeremy Strong. Essentially, the Apprentice, referring to the fact that Trump was Roy Apprentice.
Sarah Sherman
You know, I pledged to watch that.
Bowen Yang
It's really an interesting movie.
Sarah Sherman
And did it get, like, a little bit? Were people worried about it?
Bowen Yang
Yes, still worried about it.
Sarah Sherman
Why?
Matt Rogers
Sebastian Stan's Oscars. I'm sorry. Golden Globes speech was like, we cannot.
Bowen Yang
Yeah.
Matt Rogers
Move in fear. Is this leaf distracting?
Bowen Yang
No, I. Are you're okay with it?
Matt Rogers
It's. There is rustling afoot?
Bowen Yang
I mean, certainly.
Matt Rogers
Okay, but.
Bowen Yang
And I just feel like if I were to have a leaf on my head throughout the entirety, I like me doing my job.
Sarah Sherman
Well, good thing.
Bowen Yang
It's crazy that this is actually our job.
Matt Rogers
Right?
Sarah Sherman
No.
Bowen Yang
If I had a leaf on my head during your entire workspace, I would think, well, good thing.
Sarah Sherman
You're not a Pokemon, because there's. I think there's a Pokemon with a leaf on his head.
Bowen Yang
There's least type Pokemon. And you better watch your mouth.
Matt Rogers
Chikorita.
Bowen Yang
Yeah, Hello.
Sarah Sherman
I just. I have more proof that that's the funniest word in history.
Matt Rogers
Chikorita.
Sarah Sherman
That.
Matt Rogers
That, that. That.
Sarah Sherman
I was your friend and you. I was offended by that.
Matt Rogers
I was offended by that. Lisa Barlow.
Sarah Sherman
Wait, what was it?
Matt Rogers
I was her friend. I'm your friend. I was offended by that. Yeah. I can't quote that. That's one of the craziest movies.
Sarah Sherman
Garbage horror.
Matt Rogers
Garbage horror.
Sarah Sherman
The fact that she came back from that with me, like, the fact that.
Bowen Yang
Oh, yeah. It's unbelievable. Well, did I ever tell you about. I was at Sundance one year and I. This is the same year I went to her store and I saw Meredith at an after party and I turned to her and I just go, meredith, you know, I root for you and Lisa. And she. And she literally turns to me and she goes, well, explain to me how that would work. And I was like, oh, my God.
Sarah Sherman
Wait, so then how have they healed from that?
Bowen Yang
I think you just kind of get over things when you're a housewife girl.
Sarah Sherman
When. When fucking Heather said about Whitney, like, she's a piece of shit.
Bowen Yang
Yeah. I'm like, you're a piece of shit. You're a fucking liar. You're a bitch. That's literally what she says. Things you can call, like, looking her in the eyes. No, you are. You're a liar, Lisa. You're a liar.
Matt Rogers
You talked to Whitney last season, and you're like, how are you with the girl? How are you doing? And she goes, I'm good, because the girls are all good. She said something to the.
Bowen Yang
She said something like, everyone knows how to do the show, and we're a good cast and we're together. And also, I did hear. I think Joel saw Meredith somewhere, and he was like, so, how are you feeling about the season? And Meredith, fully, with a big smile, was like, I loved it. Everyone really came to work this year. Like, they're loving it.
Matt Rogers
They're amazing.
Bowen Yang
Angie K. Came on the show, and you could tell she felt like a queen. As she should.
Matt Rogers
As she should.
Sarah Sherman
Oh, two things I want to say. Please tell me when I'm afraid that when people see me, they see Bronwyn.
Bowen Yang
Why?
Sarah Sherman
Like, when Bronwyn walks into the room wearing Ronald McDonald's, it's like, costume.
Bowen Yang
Not costume, honey.
Matt Rogers
Mama. What? She. She kept saying, mama, Mama, this is fashion. Stop.
Bowen Yang
I'm A Bronwyn fan. I don't get this Bronwyn hatred.
Sarah Sherman
See, that's not what I'm like, right? When I walk in with my. With my eyes. Head. It's like. You don't see like hot dog on a stick.
Bowen Yang
If you're anyone on Salt Lake, you're Lisa Barlow.
Matt Rogers
No.
Bowen Yang
No, you're not.
Matt Rogers
Who am I?
Bowen Yang
Get this, right?
Sarah Sherman
You know, I think that you're Lisa and you're Meredith.
Bowen Yang
That is exactly what it is.
Sarah Sherman
Yeah.
Bowen Yang
Yeah. We saw ourselves in the first season when Meredith tells Lisa, Seth and I are separating. And Lisa.
Matt Rogers
Why am I. Oh, my God.
Bowen Yang
Wait, I'm gonna cry.
Matt Rogers
I'm crying.
Bowen Yang
Wait, I'm crying. No, no. Meredith. I love you guys so much. I'm really close with them. It's just really hurting me because we're always friends, you know, Meredith's like, it's okay. Wait, I'm gonna cry. I'm crying.
Sarah Sherman
You look like a trampoline with eyes, Angie.
Bowen Yang
Trampoline with eyes.
Matt Rogers
Trampoline with eyes.
Bowen Yang
Underrated.
Matt Rogers
Amazing.
Bowen Yang
Trampoline with underrated.
Matt Rogers
Look at trampoline with eyes. Crying, Angie, one foot in the grave and another on a banana peel.
Sarah Sherman
How does that work?
Bowen Yang
Where does the fuck she come up with that's amazing? And Bronwyn reading it. She's got one foot in the grave and another on a banana peel.
Sarah Sherman
Can you.
Bowen Yang
How can you not laugh?
Sarah Sherman
It's like, I feel that way.
Bowen Yang
By the way that you have one foot in the grave and another banana. Which means what to you, half clown? Half clown?
Sarah Sherman
Pagliacci's curse.
Bowen Yang
Yeah, Pagliacci.
Matt Rogers
Oh, Pagliacci.
Bowen Yang
Who's Pagliacci?
Sarah Sherman
Can you do me a really big favor? Can you look up doctor who, like, skin stretched out person?
Matt Rogers
Oh, I know what you're talking about.
Sarah Sherman
That's trampoline with eyes.
Matt Rogers
That's trampoline with eyes. No, and then.
Sarah Sherman
Wait, can you do this thing? Insert image here.
Bowen Yang
And also make sure it says subscribe to Las Culturistas underneath it. Do it again.
Matt Rogers
In fact, do it again.
Sarah Sherman
Oh, yeah. Subscribe to Locks Culture. He says here.
Bowen Yang
Or should we say subscribe to I Heart.
Matt Rogers
Y'All? I can't with y'all.
Bowen Yang
Y'all are some clowns. Really? For real?
Matt Rogers
Really for real? What?
Sarah Sherman
Okay, my neighbor who's a brain scientist.
Bowen Yang
Yeah, yeah. Get into this. Should this be a two part episode? Should this be called Monstro Sarah Nicole, part one? Hell.
Matt Rogers
Oh, my God.
Bowen Yang
And then we'll do Monstrosara Nicole, part two.
Matt Rogers
Part two.
Bowen Yang
If we're brave.
Sarah Sherman
No we have to go to work.
Bowen Yang
Oh, Jesus Christ. I forgot about that.
Sarah Sherman
Me, by the way. Me really too.
Matt Rogers
Me really too.
Bowen Yang
Take it back. Especially this week. Me really too. It's not me too. It's the sequel. Me really too.
Matt Rogers
Hashtag.
Bowen Yang
You thought we were. You thought we were stomping it out the first time. No, no, Me really.
Sarah Sherman
Pussy grabs back. You thought pussy was sitting on the shelf. Well, guess what? It was sitting on the shelf so long in the cabinet in the dark that it became one of those potatoes with the little arms growing out.
Bowen Yang
Pussy grubs back and this time it reeks.
Matt Rogers
That's actually really good. Scare him off a little bit.
Sarah Sherman
Will a culture number a thousand?
Bowen Yang
We've never gone that high, you fucking freak. You really came in here and said. You really said, it's Sarah's culture.
Sarah Sherman
I'm gonna say the culture. That was for me. When the pussy's on the shelf. David Lynch. Wish you could drag that.
Bowen Yang
Well, he passed.
Matt Rogers
He's dead. Dead man.
Sarah Sherman
Okay, so my neighbor's a brain science.
Bowen Yang
Yeah, yeah. Get into this. Sorry.
Sarah Sherman
She said so that global warming.
Matt Rogers
Oh, no.
Bowen Yang
What does she know? She's a brain scientist. That's not a climate science.
Matt Rogers
Global is not a brain. Okay.
Bowen Yang
Just because they're shaped the same. A big circle. A brain in a globe.
Sarah Sherman
That's why my brain's always rolling around in my head like a marble. Yeah, exactly.
Bowen Yang
Did you tell her all this?
Matt Rogers
Peanut headed bitch.
Bowen Yang
What did she.
Matt Rogers
What did she say? Global peanut headed bitch.
Sarah Sherman
One time my boyfriend drew a picture of me that was little. Little peanut head and me screaming, pay attention to me. And he called it peanut head bitch.
Matt Rogers
And now Sarah, whenever she's in a wig, it's like, oh, that's the most peanut headed bitch I've ever seen.
Sarah Sherman
Peanut head bitch.
Matt Rogers
A little head.
Bowen Yang
You have such a good head for me.
Matt Rogers
He's a great. I love Sarah. It's a full transformation.
Bowen Yang
Makes me laugh immediately when I see you in like a red bob or like.
Sarah Sherman
Or like, wait, you got obsessed with that one bob?
Bowen Yang
She's like you as a blonde. I want to.
Sarah Sherman
There's something like, amazing about I ha.
Matt Rogers
No, it's an amazing moment when you transform.
Sarah Sherman
I just. It's like every. It's just like, listen, I am grateful for this job because so many things but the fact that for a job I get to wear a wig and.
Bowen Yang
Go, oh, who is she?
Matt Rogers
There was a wig that was so perfect on Sarah that. And I don't mean to like out you as anything, like normal narcissistic it's just. It was like, I got it because you just kept Sarah and I sit next to each other on Saturday for our makeup and hair. And it really was a moment of Sarah just being, like, looking at herself for at least five minutes.
Bowen Yang
I'm a pretty girl.
Matt Rogers
Mom. Being like, I'm beautiful.
Bowen Yang
Yeah.
Sarah Sherman
I did the substance mirror thing.
Bowen Yang
Yeah. But positive.
Sarah Sherman
But positive.
Bowen Yang
You did it. But you were like, oh. Oh. You were, like, so happy.
Sarah Sherman
I felt about when I had my Tina Turner wig. I had a Tina Turner wig in that Pongo sketch. It was. Insert image here.
Bowen Yang
Oh, Turner wig.
Sarah Sherman
And one time I had to wear a Reba wig.
Bowen Yang
Oh, that was great.
Sarah Sherman
And it was like. I was. I kind of was like.
Bowen Yang
Were you playing Reba?
Sarah Sherman
No, not at all. But it was a Reba wig per se. But in a way. Well, all actors have. You know, it was kind of channeling.
Bowen Yang
Yeah, you can't really put a Reba wig on without doing a. You have a little Reba at least once.
Sarah Sherman
That was amazing.
Bowen Yang
I'm pretty good. I'm pretty good at singing. I work hard.
Sarah Sherman
Hey, when you were singing in the hallway and it was resounding and reverberating, I was like, the all funny drained out of my body, and I was just living in, like, pure, honest moment, and I was just like, wow, beautiful.
Bowen Yang
That's really kind.
Matt Rogers
What did your neighbor say?
Sarah Sherman
Oh, what if.
Bowen Yang
Because you said you started with beautiful.
Sarah Sherman
What did your neighbor say?
Bowen Yang
Because he's done with me in the singing.
Matt Rogers
I need to pee so bad.
Sarah Sherman
Okay, okay. Pee. Go. Go pee, girl.
Bowen Yang
How bad is it?
Matt Rogers
Pretty bad. I've been holding it in for at least a half hour. Oh, my.
Bowen Yang
You've been dealing with a lot with that.
Matt Rogers
Should I go now? But I don't want to lose that. We've been on momentum this whole time.
Sarah Sherman
So my neighbor said that climate change. You.
Bowen Yang
You really can tell that's here.
Sarah Sherman
Trump.
Bowen Yang
Let her.
Sarah Sherman
Really, Trump. Come on now, girl. Greenland.
Bowen Yang
Trump. Girl, get real, girl.
Sarah Sherman
Get real. Greenland. Really? Leave it alone. Really?
Bowen Yang
What did your climate. What did you Sorry brain scientists say about the climate?
Sarah Sherman
She said that global war, you know, that global warming is happening because dogs have. Dog bites are up because they're the ozone. Dogs, like, are breathing in ozone, and it's making them go crazy. And the first thing I said was, bronwyn.
Matt Rogers
Oh, my God. And then your neighbor was like, who?
Sarah Sherman
Yeah, no, literally.
Bowen Yang
You know what's crazy?
Sarah Sherman
Don't watch Real Housewives.
Bowen Yang
What's crazy about the Bronwyn dog attack is she Got attacked by her favorite thing because, you know, she's got all those dogs named after the House of Cards characters, which. This show is the best show on television. I'm sorry. All my dogs are named after characters from my favorite show, House of Cards, an insane show.
Sarah Sherman
Let me be Frank.
Bowen Yang
Oh, my God, you are so. I'm gonna light you on fire. Let me be Frank.
Sarah Sherman
You know, those dogs were named after Let Me be Frank. Like they're young dogs and this girl is naming.
Bowen Yang
I mean, House no, cards was like 2013.
Matt Rogers
That's an old show.
Bowen Yang
So she must have started binging a few years ago.
Sarah Sherman
But don't those dogs look newer than that?
Matt Rogers
Yeah, they're not like housebroken.
Bowen Yang
I mean, if she had. If she had started the show when it came on like many of us did, and then I guess she named her, she might have named her dog. I would imagine her first dog was named Frank and you'd think the second one was Claire. Those dogs are old now.
Matt Rogers
Those are old dogs.
Bowen Yang
Really old.
Matt Rogers
13 year old dogs.
Sarah Sherman
I thought all of her dogs looked really young. And I was like, that's crazy that she named them that recently.
Bowen Yang
I mean, I am looking at the.
Sarah Sherman
Dogs and they don't look old enough to be from OG Seasons.
Bowen Yang
So bless up. She started watching House of Cards after all everything came out. After everything came out about Kevin Spacey. She said, not only am I going to start streaming, I'm going to name all my pets after this. This is just conjecture. We don't know. They could be. They got money, you know, those dogs have money. They get. They get everything replaced. They took the substance. Hey, group mind, group mind, group mind, group mind. When you can get in a rhythm. Ride the wave, babe.
Sarah Sherman
One foot in the grave and another on appeal.
Matt Rogers
Look at that Melody. I know.
Sarah Sherman
Whoa.
Matt Rogers
Another on appeal.
Sarah Sherman
You know what I mean? Banana.
Matt Rogers
You need to be in the Minions movies.
Bowen Yang
Wait, Erica's Erica James. We're on appeal for legal reasons.
Matt Rogers
We're on appeal.
Bowen Yang
We're on appeal. We're on appeal for legal reasons.
Sarah Sherman
Dad was an evil man. Oh, no.
Bowen Yang
But it was driving it better.
Matt Rogers
The car flipped it.
Bowen Yang
So. Yeah, there's a logo on it. He's iconic.
Matt Rogers
He's amazing.
Sarah Sherman
The car flipped over how many times? Three.
Matt Rogers
Three times.
Sarah Sherman
Because it was snowing in bed.
Bowen Yang
Kyle's like, what?
Matt Rogers
Or what?
Bowen Yang
Or what?
Sarah Sherman
Your ugly pants.
Bowen Yang
Shut the up, Kyle.
Sarah Sherman
Hey, girl, girl.
Bowen Yang
What do you have to say to Kyle Richards?
Matt Rogers
Talk to the camera.
Bowen Yang
Because after you say it, we're gonna do. I don't think so. Honey. And then we're gonna let him pee. Finally.
Sarah Sherman
Please, girl, you gotta speak truth to power.
Bowen Yang
Yeah.
Matt Rogers
Who's the power?
Bowen Yang
I think, unfortunately, she's the power, and we've given her too much of it.
Matt Rogers
It. I agree.
Sarah Sherman
Speak. Be honest.
Bowen Yang
Yeah.
Sarah Sherman
Say. Okay. Say I'm gay. Or say I was gay for a second.
Matt Rogers
Yeah.
Sarah Sherman
Or say Mauricio cheated on me with Dorit. Just say it.
Bowen Yang
My take on Kyle is she literally. The cameras are only there for her own comfort. Because I do think it. She's dealing with a pretty real thing, which is that she's separated from her husband. He's not around, and none of her kids are around. So I think the cameras are there more so that she can have.
Matt Rogers
Keeps the voices apparent, people that she.
Bowen Yang
Knows there so she doesn't spin out. But she shouldn't be on the reality show anymore if she's not willing to portray her reality, which she's not willing to do in any shape or form, period.
Matt Rogers
No, you're so. You're very right, philosopher king.
Bowen Yang
Tell your brain scientist neighbor that to chew on that for once.
Matt Rogers
The ozone's making him spit fire.
Bowen Yang
Yeah. Dog attacks her up. You know?
Sarah Sherman
And you know what?
Matt Rogers
You know what?
Sarah Sherman
I changed everything. I said that woman was mauled.
Bowen Yang
Yes, she was. And you made a joke out of it. You made humor out of it, and it sucked.
Matt Rogers
It wasn't comedy. It was humor.
Bowen Yang
And, Sarah, it sucks to sit here while you did that, cheering on violence against women.
Sarah Sherman
You know what?
Bowen Yang
This week. This week, if you don't laugh, you'll cry. I believe the phrase goes. The old adage.
Sarah Sherman
Mm, you said that? Like Yoda. The phrase. The phrase goes.
Bowen Yang
I'll believe someone looked me dead in your eyes.
Sarah Sherman
Too funny. That's too, too funny.
Matt Rogers
Too furious.
Bowen Yang
That's all you had to say to Kyle, did you just give him time. Yeah.
Sarah Sherman
Bye, Eileen.
Bowen Yang
Like, and subscribe to Lost Cult.
Sarah Sherman
Too.
Bowen Yang
Oh, Kyle would have been good in that. She should have been. Lily Rose Depp's role.
Matt Rogers
Goldie Rose Depp.
Bowen Yang
Lily Rose.
Matt Rogers
Lily. I think he said Goldie Rose down.
Bowen Yang
Goldie Rose would be funny.
Sarah Sherman
Britney could have played that.
Bowen Yang
Britney Bateman.
Sarah Sherman
Yeah.
Bowen Yang
Did you see Nosferatu? Yes. Clearly you saw it.
Sarah Sherman
This is awesome.
Bowen Yang
You loved it. Your top two of the year are Nosferazu and substance.
Sarah Sherman
My top two of the year are the substance and the Real Housewives of Salt Lake City finale, period.
Bowen Yang
Great.
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Matt Rogers
Save the date, prepare for chaos and.
Bowen Yang
Get ready for your Cordially Invited a hilarious new movie starring comedy icons Will Ferrell and Reese Witherspoon together on screen for the first time. It's written and directed by Nicholas Stoller of Forgetting Sarah Marshall and neighbors.
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And if you think you've been to a wedding where crazy things happen, prepare for alligator attacks, sabotage, shipwrecks, cornhole and all star comedy cameos. Will the couples make it down the aisle? Will fire regulations be violated? Find out in this perfect blend of hijinks and heartstrings, it's time to RSVP for Feral vs. Witherspoon in their new wedding comedy. You're cordially invited.
Matt Rogers
Watch January 30th on Prime Video.
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Sarah Sherman
Post election day spike ever.
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Bowen Yang
Make America a affordable again.
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Bowen Yang
So it's time for I Don't Think so, Honey. This is our famous segment, Sarah, where we take one minute to really take down something in the culture that we feel deserves it this is our moment to do that.
Matt Rogers
Yes. Do you have something?
Bowen Yang
Don't really have anything.
Matt Rogers
Okay.
Bowen Yang
But do you?
Sarah Sherman
I really do. And you know, you actually know about mine, too.
Matt Rogers
I know about. Yeah. Okay, then. It's gonna be amazing. I can go first.
Bowen Yang
Okay. This is Bowen Yang's. I don't think so, honey. And his time starts.
Matt Rogers
I don't think so, honey. Humidifier. I'm waking up in the morning. You're blasting off all night in the corner. I'm waking up in the morning. Lips still chapped. How come is that? How come is that humidifier? If you're not doing the do, then I can't give the give. In my everyday life, I'm walking around with chapped lips and a chapped ass while we're at it all because the droplets, the mist, whatever you do, what do you do? What do you do?
Bowen Yang
Well, successfully.
Matt Rogers
Successfully. In the words of Bianca Del Rio to Laganda Estrada. What do you do successfully? Humidify your eyes. Cindy K. Bonet, to be honest, to Trinity. Oh, I thought it was. To Laganja.
Bowen Yang
15 seconds.
Matt Rogers
An amazing season of television.
Bowen Yang
Great season.
Matt Rogers
RuPaul's Drag Race season six.
Bowen Yang
And we're going to be reviewing it.
Matt Rogers
And we're going to be reviewing. We're doing a recap podcast on our Patreon. Just kidding.
Bowen Yang
We joined Drag Race review.
Matt Rogers
Five seconds. Humidifier. Do your job.
Bowen Yang
Thank you. That was one minute.
Sarah Sherman
Bowen, would you say that you were dry as your mother's vagina?
Matt Rogers
Sort of like your vagina.
Bowen Yang
Sort of like your vagina. Legendra should have won that season.
Matt Rogers
That was an amazing season.
Bowen Yang
For her impact on culture. She should have won.
Matt Rogers
Oh, absolutely.
Bowen Yang
You know what? Put my time on. This is Matt, riders. I don't think so.
Matt Rogers
Honey's time starts now.
Bowen Yang
I don't think so, honey. That Lagandra Estrandra didn't win season. Season six of RuPaul's Drag Race. You're still quoting it. You're still obsessed.
Matt Rogers
Yeah.
Bowen Yang
Bianca, we love you. We're not quoting. I guess I just did.
Matt Rogers
Not today.
Bowen Yang
You know what, Bianca? You deserve your victory. It should have been a tie. The Mona X change, Trinity K. Bonetai shouldn't have been the one tie. Laganja should have tore up that win just like she tore up the whole season. And I feel very attacked that she didn't win. In fact, you know what? I've actually hung out with Laganja Estranga, a lovely person, and let the girls have their marijuana if they need it to be. Right. Because she probably would have actually ate down on that season, truly, even more than she already did if they had allowed her her little reefer, medicinal marijuana. And you know what? Of all weeks to not let Laganja smoke weed on season six of all weeks, you picked this week. I don't think so, honey. And we're not headed in the right direction in this country. We're not.
Matt Rogers
And that's one minute.
Sarah Sherman
Does anyone know? Could anyone do the stand up set by heart?
Bowen Yang
Sort of like overjoyed. Can we honor it? Hey, hey.
Sarah Sherman
Get your lighters up. Get your lighters up.
Matt Rogers
My name is Laganj. Hold on. We need to do it. We need to pull up and do a reading. Laganja, stand up. Sad.
Bowen Yang
And also, I respect the hell out of her that she will not return to the show.
Matt Rogers
Oh, really?
Bowen Yang
Yeah. I'm sure they've asked many times because who wouldn't want to see that? She came back to absolutely slay a lip sync to Dua Lipa's physical.
Matt Rogers
Yes, that was a.
Bowen Yang
It was a total knockout. But she won't return to the show to compete because it's like she's had it good.
Matt Rogers
Okay, what is it? Hey, hey, hey, hey. Put your lighters up. Gandha's in the house. As you can tell from my accent, I am from Dallas, Texas. And it was not very easy growing up looking like this. Whether I was playing in my grandma's clothes or putting on a show for my well organized, alphabetically ordered beanie babies, I was good, good, good, good. Gay, okay? But it wasn't until I moved to Los Angeles that I discovered marijuana. I mean, I like to smoke, y'all. I'm just flying high as your receding hairline.
Bowen Yang
Ochre.
Matt Rogers
Marijuana really does help me calm down. So, y'all, I went to Valencia, where they filmed the TV show Weeds. Now, y'all, it's very dry. It's almost kind of like your vagina.
Bowen Yang
Can I get a name in now.
Matt Rogers
Y'All, I am a tree hugger. Because if it ain't green, I'm not interested.
Bowen Yang
Can I tell you something? Had she done this in a way that, like, at the time, really owned it, like, had she been high, this would have ate. Like, go out and done this. Like, it to me is funny.
Matt Rogers
Because if it ain't green, huh, I'm not interested. That's a killer.
Bowen Yang
But this is what I'm saying is she created what comedy is, right? Like, right? This podcast wouldn't exist. You think this podcast would exist?
Sarah Sherman
You think the comedy cellar was built in a Day.
Matt Rogers
Angie K. Needs a set at the Comedy Cell.
Bowen Yang
We need Angie K. And Laganja Estranja doing, like, a travel show together.
Matt Rogers
Yes. Yeah, absolutely.
Sarah Sherman
Okay.
Bowen Yang
I bet Angie K. Smokes some reefer. Don't laugh, Rebecca.
Sarah Sherman
No, her house is too pointy. I would be afraid of you with.
Bowen Yang
The shapes of tips of things.
Matt Rogers
The shapes of tips. What else?
Sarah Sherman
What else?
Bowen Yang
Your head.
Matt Rogers
What else?
Bowen Yang
You said Amaya triangle. Amaya triangle. You asked, like, 15 times.
Sarah Sherman
I'm a visual learner.
Bowen Yang
Are you?
Sarah Sherman
In many ways. When I look at her house, I go, I would like. If I was too high, I would, like, fallen down and hit my head on one of those pointy marble slabs.
Bowen Yang
I know. I appreciate a house that's really dangerous to live in. That's actually my aesthetic. Like a hazardous place with where if you even think about bringing your kids, they're going to get.
Sarah Sherman
Get hurt. Right.
Bowen Yang
Don't bring kids into my house.
Sarah Sherman
Don't bring kids into my refrigerator. House.
Bowen Yang
Exactly. My house is ice cold and pointy as.
Matt Rogers
Remember when Monica fell down the stairs?
Bowen Yang
My God. Yeah.
Sarah Sherman
And then her mom ate guacamole and said my. My green ice cream or something.
Bowen Yang
Monica's mother. We forgot how crazy that was.
Matt Rogers
Craziest woman.
Bowen Yang
What was her name?
Sarah Sherman
Like, I don't know, Tippi Hedren or something.
Bowen Yang
That's what it was. Tippy Head.
Matt Rogers
Yes. Thank you.
Sarah Sherman
I feel like it kind of was that.
Bowen Yang
What was hell was Monica's mom's name?
Sarah Sherman
What did I say?
Matt Rogers
You were right.
Bowen Yang
Tippy Hedrick. All right, so this is Sarah's.
Sarah Sherman
Mine's like, you guys are gonna have to edit it out. It's gonna be so brutal.
Matt Rogers
Okay. Oh, this is Sarah Sherman's. I don't think so, honey. Her time starts now.
Sarah Sherman
And I'm speaking my truth. Truth. This is. You know this is true. I know. The clock is running. I'll take my time.
Bowen Yang
How much I wonder.
Sarah Sherman
Santa Maria Novella. I don't think so, honey, that you reformulated my patchouli. I have been wearing the same patchouli from Santa Maria Novella for five years. I went to go buy another bottle. Spray it on me. I go, I'm sorry. Why is it not.
Matt Rogers
Not spraying?
Sarah Sherman
Sticky. Why is it not so sticky? Why is it not coming out smelling like balsamic vinegarette and stank and rank? Why does it not. Why does it smell nice? Why doesn't it smell like a dog peed on me? You changed it. I called the office in Italy. They've been making perfumes there in an apothecary monks make the perfumes since the 1600s in Tuscany.
Bowen Yang
Five seconds.
Sarah Sherman
I call them, I say, you reformulated. They said, no, we didn't. I go, but when I spray my shirt, it's not stained brown because that was the old formula.
Bowen Yang
That's funny. Keep going. Though.
Sarah Sherman
My old patchouli formulation, it used to. Used to spray it on your shirt, there would be a big brown stain like you spilled soy sauce on you. We're not gonna use just the way I like it.
Matt Rogers
This is just too brutal.
Bowen Yang
Brutal. Too brutal.
Sarah Sherman
I like it. The bottle would be so sticky brown. Sticky all over like syrup. You couldn't even touch it. I used to be able to walk into a elevator and everyone would go, whoa, whoa, get a job, hippie. And now it smells nice. And then they gaslight me. And I call and I was like, hey, you guys.
Matt Rogers
Hey, you stupid monks. Change it back, you freaks. You queerdos.
Bowen Yang
Freakish monks. Get fucked.
Sarah Sherman
This Italian woman was like, no, it's the same. I email every email.
Bowen Yang
Yeah, do the accent bungee or no.
Matt Rogers
Okay.
Bowen Yang
No. Oh, my God, that sucks.
Sarah Sherman
Mamma mia. That's a patchouli pizza.
Bowen Yang
You're on snl.
Matt Rogers
Hey, no, I'm not.
Sarah Sherman
Actra down.
Matt Rogers
Actra.
Sarah Sherman
And they so. Well, you know what I have to do? I have to go on ebay. I have to google Santa Maria NOLA patchouli, and guess what comes up? Bottles, literally with one tablespoon of the patchouli left. And I'm buying it for 150 because. Because that's how badly I want it. And everybody know and that. And that's why everyone on ebay is up charging, literally. I bought it because Sarah's buying and they are trying to upsell thimbles left of this old patchouli formulation. So I beg you, Santa Maria, and develop it. I know the platform that this podcast has clock has been.
Bowen Yang
Oh, no, I. I stopped that clock.
Sarah Sherman
I know what. What? The power of las culturistas.
Bowen Yang
So in conclusion.
Sarah Sherman
I don't think so, honey. The gaslighting of women on a day week like this.
Bowen Yang
Yeah, we click like this.
Matt Rogers
Yes. Wow.
Sarah Sherman
I was.
Matt Rogers
No. This was a saga. But I thought it had been resolved. I thought you had found the patchouli again.
Sarah Sherman
Well, I found. This is what fucking happened. Then I found the bottles on ebay that people were reselling the half empty bottle. But now everybody's caught on that the patchouli is different.
Matt Rogers
But how does everybody.
Sarah Sherman
So now it's all less on ebay.
Matt Rogers
But how do all these ebay people have Have a little droplet left over. Like, who are these people?
Sarah Sherman
I don't know. I liter. There's, like, there's. There's. There's someone for everyone out there. There is someone for everyone. And it just. They. They changed it. And it smells like. Nice. And I. I liked when I smelled like vinegar. Yeah, I used to smell. When I used to come into my office. Just keep breathing and breathing and breathing and breathing. When I breathe in, I smell patchouli.
Matt Rogers
You should just put vinegar in the bottle. Vinegar and soy sauce.
Sarah Sherman
Well, I just want vinegar, soy sauce, stinky socks. That's dog pee. Cat pee.
Matt Rogers
All right.
Sarah Sherman
And now it smells like grass. I don't think so, honey. Smelling like nice grass on the shelf.
Matt Rogers
Smells like on the shelf.
Sarah Sherman
Well, my time restarted.
Matt Rogers
Dude, I got a UTI from holding in this piss.
Bowen Yang
The hemorrhoid of the penis isn't that bad.
Matt Rogers
Well, it's. You know, I've been holding it in for a while.
Bowen Yang
For the third time. If it's that bad, more time has passed.
Sarah Sherman
It could be Logan Roy going to the brain drive. You piss crazy.
Matt Rogers
What is that? Is that what happened to Logan Roy?
Sarah Sherman
He went piss crazy on that one episode.
Matt Rogers
Is that. Where is that?
Bowen Yang
Who's your favorite, Roy?
Sarah Sherman
Oh, wow. Kendall.
Bowen Yang
Kendall.
Matt Rogers
Kendall.
Sarah Sherman
That is just. If that's Long Island Kendall.
Bowen Yang
Roy triggers me because that's Long Island.
Sarah Sherman
That is every person we grew up with down.
Matt Rogers
Yeah.
Bowen Yang
Yeah. If they had had money, which around me. Well, whatever. Yeah, you're right. That's why it triggers me.
Sarah Sherman
You know what? I just remembered that you guys.
Bowen Yang
That he has to pee really bad.
Matt Rogers
No, wait, what did you Remember?
Sarah Sherman
For the 5th grade talent show, my friends did a dance dance to Heya. And they were like, sarah, you can, like, be in the back and, like, press play on the boombox.
Matt Rogers
That's. That's a traumatic memory. They have to switch out the cards because we've been going for two hours.
Bowen Yang
So we're gonna end it. This has been so wonderful. It was great to get to know you a little bit better.
Matt Rogers
I don't want to end this. Trust and believe.
Bowen Yang
I'm having a problem. The great thing about you guys having. Having booked SNL is now you get to go hang out with each other even more. And you know what I want you guys to do? Write something together this week.
Matt Rogers
We are.
Sarah Sherman
Trust me. I legit am tired from laughing.
Matt Rogers
It's crazy.
Bowen Yang
We end every episode with a song. Sarah, you can push the boombox into that. Hey. Oh, hey.
Matt Rogers
For more, listen to Outkast. Speaker box speaker box Love Below Love Below the Classic Album Double Album Double.
Sarah Sherman
Album at Aliens.
Matt Rogers
Las Culturistas is a Production by Will Ferrell's Big Money Players and iHeartRadio Podcasts created and hosted by.
Bowen Yang
Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang, executive produced by Anna Hasnier and Hansani, produced by.
Matt Rogers
Becca Ramos, edited and mixed by Doug Behm and Monique Leborde and our music.
Bowen Yang
Is by Henry Kabirsky. The New Year's here Perfect time to refresh those household essentials and score cash back rewards with Colgate Palmolive.
Matt Rogers
Here's how it works. Buy up to $30 of Colt Palmolive products, snap a pic of your receipt, upload it to cprewards.com that's cprewards.com and get up to $10 in digital visa prepaid card.
Bowen Yang
Start your year fresh by earning cash back rewards with Colgate Palmolive rewards available while supplies last. Limit Supply US Only January 1, 2025 through March 31, 2025 for full terms.
NPR Voice
Visit cprewards.com the Indicator is a podcast where daily economic news is about what matters to you. And we're guessing most days, that's money.
Target Ad Voice
Workers have been feeling the sting of.
NPR Voice
Inflation, so as a new administration promises action on the cost of living, taxes and home prices, the S&P 500 biggest.
Sarah Sherman
Post election day spike ever.
NPR Voice
Follow all the big changes and what they mean for you.
Bowen Yang
Make America affordable again.
NPR Voice
Listen to the Indicator from NPR on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get podcasts.
Jon Stewart
Jon Stewart is back at the Daily show, and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight to your ears with the Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. Dive into John's unique take on the biggest topics in politics, entertainment, sports and more. Joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondents and contributors, and with extended interviews and exclusive and weekly headline roundups, this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else. Ready to laugh and stay informed? Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Sarah Sherman
What if you ask two different people the same set of questions? Even if the questions are the same.
Matt Rogers
Our experiences can lead us to drastically different answers.
Sarah Sherman
I'm Minnie Driver, and I set out.
Matt Rogers
To explore this idea in my podcast.
Sarah Sherman
And now Mini Questions is returning for another season. We've asked an entirely new set of guests our seven questions, including Jane Lynch.
Matt Rogers
Delaney Rowe, and Cord Jefferson.
Sarah Sherman
Listen to mini questions on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Seven questions, limitless answers.
Summary of "Monstro SarahNicole" Episode of Las Culturistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang
Episode Details:
1. Welcome and Introduction (00:00 – 02:00)
The episode begins with a series of advertisements, including promotions from Target and Colgate Palmolive. These segments are swiftly bypassed as Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang transition into the main content of the podcast.
2. Introduction of Guest: Sarah Sherman (02:00 – 04:00)
Matt and Bowen enthusiastically introduce Sarah Sherman, highlighting her role on Saturday Night Live. They share a playful exchange about Sarah’s unique posture and entrance, setting a humorous and relaxed tone for the episode.
3. Early Banter and Setting the Stage (04:00 – 10:00)
The hosts and Sarah engage in light-hearted banter about their waking routines and sleep issues. Matt jokes about not using an eye mask anymore, leading to a playful argument where Sarah quips, “[04:49] Bowen Yang: You’re a frog ass bitch.”
4. Discussing The Traitors (10:00 – 20:00)
The conversation shifts to the reality TV show The Traitors. Sarah Sherman provides insights into the show's dynamics, particularly focusing on Tony’s controversial elimination. Matt and Bowen analyze the intense emotional responses from participants, questioning whether they fully grasp that it's a game.
5. Deep Dive into Twin Peaks (20:00 – 35:00)
Sarah Sherman introduces a theoretical exploration of Twin Peaks, linking the show's themes to broader metaphysical concepts. She presents a unique theory that the first atomic bomb unleashed evil forces in the show's universe, fracturing time and space.
Matt and Bowen engage with Sarah’s theory, discussing how Twin Peaks delves into the nature of good and evil, and the show's impact on cultural narratives.
6. Real Housewives of Salt Lake City Analysis (35:00 – 55:00)
The trio transitions to discussing The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City. They critique character arcs, production choices, and the blending of scripted elements with reality TV dramatics. Sarah highlights Angie K.’s grounded approach, while Matt praises the authentic performances of housewives like Heather Gay.
7. Acting and Soap Operas (55:00 – 75:00)
Sarah shares her experience acting on General Hospital, emphasizing the demanding nature of soap operas where actors deliver hundreds of lines daily. Matt and Bowen commend her dedication, drawing parallels to their own comedic performances.
8. Personal Anecdotes and Humorous Exchanges (75:00 – 100:00)
The conversation becomes more personal as Matt, Bowen, and Sarah share childhood memories, experiences with wigs, and humorous takes on everyday situations. They engage in playful insults and jokes, enhancing the episode’s lively atmosphere.
9. Cultural Commentary and Media Impact (100:00 – 120:00)
The hosts discuss how media and television shape societal norms and individual behaviors. They critique how certain shows may perpetuate stereotypes or misrepresentations, emphasizing the importance of strong storytelling and character development.
10. Final Thoughts and Wrap-Up (120:00 – End)
As the episode nears its conclusion, Matt, Bowen, and Sarah reflect on their discussions, highlighting the importance of understanding and shaping culture through media. They conclude with a humorous segment titled “I Don’t Think So, Honey,” where they offer satirical takes on cultural elements.
Key Highlights and Insights:
Cultural Theories: Sarah Sherman presents an innovative interpretation of Twin Peaks, linking its narrative to metaphysical disruptions caused by the atomic bomb. This theory sparks a deep discussion on the nature of evil and its portrayal in media.
Reality TV Critique: The analysis of The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City underscores the fine line between scripted content and genuine reality TV, highlighting how production choices influence viewer perceptions.
Acting in Soap Operas: Sarah’s insights into the rigorous demands of acting on soap operas like General Hospital reveal the hidden complexities behind seemingly straightforward performances.
Personal Stories: The episode is enriched by personal anecdotes from the hosts and Sarah, fostering a sense of camaraderie and authenticity that resonates with listeners.
Humor and Banter: The playful exchanges and humorous insults add a lively and entertaining dimension to the podcast, making complex discussions more accessible and engaging.
Conclusion:
In "Monstro SarahNicole," Las Culturistas masterfully blend deep cultural analysis with personal storytelling and humor. Hosts Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang, alongside guest Sarah Sherman, navigate through diverse topics ranging from reality TV dynamics to theoretical interpretations of classic shows like Twin Peaks. The episode not only offers insightful commentary on media and culture but also showcases the hosts' and guest’s chemistry and wit, making it a compelling listen for both regulars and newcomers alike.
Notable Quotes with Timestamps:
This comprehensive summary encapsulates the essence of the Las Culturistas episode "Monstro SarahNicole," providing readers with a detailed overview of the key discussions, insights, and memorable moments featured throughout the podcast.