"Quiet, Stoned and Ashamed" (w/ Blair Socci)

Summary

Las Culturistas – "Quiet, Stoned and Ashamed" (w/ Blair Socci)

Podcast: Las Culturistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang
Guest: Blair Socci
Release Date: April 22, 2026
Network: Big Money Players/iHeartPodcasts

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Episode Overview

In this raucous and heartfelt episode, Matt and Bowen welcome comedian Blair Socci back to the Las Culturistas studio for a culture-heavy, pop-culture-spilling, deeply personal, and always hilarious conversation. The trio journeys through Bravo show scandals (especially Summer House), cultural heartbreaks (RIP Gwen Stefani’s cool girl era), the dark powers of TikTok’s algorithm, karaoke mishaps, perm regrets, dating short kings, grief and mediums, and the value of a truly iconic wink. In classic Las Culturistas fashion, they round out the show with effusive impressions, dazzling bits, and their signature “I Don’t Think So, Honey” segment.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Blair’s Return and LA/NYC Culture Shifts

• Blair’s NYC Homecoming: Blair describes being back in NYC after years away, donning a red corduroy hat and a new perm (03:04).
  • “She is bridging the gap between New York and Cali. She’s got her surfer hat on.” — Bowen (03:10)
• Hangover Vibes & Karaoke: Blair is “violently hungover” from a karaoke night out with comedian Rosebud Baker, where she was pressured to perform Fall Out Boy in what Rosebud called her “skater pitch” (04:49–09:03).

2. Pop Culture, Nostalgia, and Cultural Shifts

• Gwen Stefani Woes: Blair discusses her heartbreak over outgrowing her icon, Gwen Stefani, lamenting Gwen’s Orange County-to-prayer-app pipeline and her pivot from femme tomboy authenticity to “some goddamn prayer app or some shit” (05:11–05:39).
  • “My girl out there who I grew up with… and now she’s peddling some goddamn prayer app or some shit.” — Blair (05:28)
  • “The thing about Orange County girls is they become Orange County women. And that’s not always on the right side.” — Matt (05:39)
• Culture Consultants’ Rule: If your hat is red and corduroy, “you don’t have to qualify it” (03:29).

3. Deep Dive: Summer House Bravo Scandal—'Dickmatization' and Girl Code

• Amanda, Kyle, West, and Sierra Scandal: The trio picks apart the recent Bravo Summer House drama, focusing on Amanda’s betrayal of Sierra and the cultural weight given to “girl code” over traditional romantic loyalty (09:38–16:40).

  • “It is a violation of girl code for me. What’s so egregious about it is the lying around cheating on Sierra.” — Blair (14:19)
  • “Are you noticing that Amanda’s Instagram has started dressing a little bit like [West]?... That is a telltale sign of dickmatization.” — Matt (11:19 & 11:40)
  • They riff on Amanda’s imagined reunion apology, blending sincere and chaotic energy: “There’s nothing I can say to make this better. I have made one of the maybe most all-time worst decisions ever that anyone’s ever made ever in the universe…” — Blair as Amanda (27:54)

• West as a 'Starter Pack': Bowen notes: “West is a starter pack for... the kind of guy you learn a lesson about manhood from.” (16:27)

• Jesse’s Musical Antics: They lampoon Jesse’s “falling in love” song, sung by bodies of water during the media explosion, and the audience's exasperated response: “Not now, Jesse!” — Blair (20:37)

4. TikTok, Perm Talk, and Algorithmic Radicalization

• Perm Regret: Blair recounts her TikTok-inspired decision to get a perm, discovering post-facto that the influencer had completely different hair—leading to “Heath Ledger in Lords of Dogtown” vibes rather than her intended “Grace of Monaco” look (36:21–37:41, [Full riff at 87:51]).

  • “I liked one post with a woman who I later made the synaptic connection has the most opposite hair than I do. That didn’t dawn on me until post-perm.” — Blair (36:21)
  • “Now I look like Heath Ledger at Lords of Dogtown. I have to wear a hat on my school, Teresa, it’s a red one. It doesn’t have to be qualified.” — Blair (87:51)

• Algorithmic Snares:

  • “That’s how the young men got radicalized. But me, for a perm.” — Blair and Matt riffing (37:20)

5. Reality TV, Social Media, and Parasocial Consequences

• Bravo and Parasociality: The group discusses the fandom’s microscope on Summer House/Bravo stars, feeling the parasocial lines blur: “I don’t want to take a side. That’s how parasocial I am about it.” — Matt (54:32)
• Being Confronted for Podcast Chatter: Blair jokes about forgetting the pods reach a huge audience until someone approaches her about her candid opinions (54:47).

6. On Grief and Mediums

• Blair shares her journey with grief following her brother’s passing, talking about consulting mediums and the odd comfort (or lack thereof) they offer, especially when pressured to “focus on finding love.” (49:00–50:29)
  • “I wasn’t looking for predictions. I just wanted to talk to him... it does make you feel better. Like whether or not it’s true, it’s soothing.” — Blair (49:45)

7. Dating, Sex, and Short King Culture

• Short King Discourse: A chunk of comic riffing on dating “short kings” and the “hot but short” equation, referencing Nikki Glaser, and the cultural anxiety of height (72:07–73:36).
  • “A lot of the hottest guys are short, because you can’t have everything, you know?” — Blair (73:01)
• Materialists Movie Spoiler: A surreal detour into the cultural moment of “height-increasing surgeries,” referencing Pedro Pascal’s fictional operation in The Materialists (spoilers alert) (73:51–75:08).

8. Winks & Micro-Flirting as Culture

• Blair expresses her love for a good wink and the joy of micro-flirting: “There’s just no better feeling than someone winking at you. Or like an old man... and they wink at you. It’s so cute. I love it.” — Blair (63:11)

9. Pop Fandom and the Moving Targets of Feminine Cool

• Gwen vs. Gaga: Blair acknowledges Lady Gaga as her new No. 1, embracing the evolution of feminist icons (62:20).
  • “Go back to ‘Don’t Speak’” — All, singing out the episode (94:12).

10. “I Don’t Think So, Honey” Segment Highlights

• Matt (79:46): Wishes for a Carl/Lindsay Summer House reunion, noting their reality TV chemistry and movement from crisis into possible new beginnings.
• Blair (87:43): Rants about “Perm-Gate”—her haircut debacle and how TikTok (and edibles) radicalized her into a perm she regrets.
  • “I said, I’d like to look less skateboardy. And then they burned the [out] of my hair... I wanted Grace of Monaco, not Lords of Dogtown.” — Blair (87:51)
• Bowen (83:18): Takes Celsius energy drinks to task for making “vibe” flavors that “aren’t flavors, they’re EDM music; they’re abstract concepts.”

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Notable Quotes & Funniest Riffs

• On Gwen’s transformation:
  “The thing about Orange County girls is they become Orange County women. And that’s not always on the right side of the political spectrum.” — Matt (05:39)

• On Bravo’s Summer House:
  “If you’re Amanda at the reunion and I’m Andy Cohen... is there anything you want to say to Sierra?” — Matt (27:06 forward, full bit at 27:22)

• On Early Perm Regret:
  “I like to look less skateboardy. And then they burned the [out] of my hair...” — Blair (87:51)

• On Dating Short Kings:
  “A lot of the hottest guys are short, cause you can’t have everything, you know?” — Blair (73:01)

• On TikTok’s Algorithm:
  “That’s how the young men got radicalized. But me with permission.” — Matt (37:20)

• On Friendship and Hiking:
  “You want the sun to suck you dry.” — Bowen (51:22)

• On Culture and Consequences:
  "Not everyone's for everyone. And I think that is part of culture.” — Blair (70:19)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Blair’s return and NYC comeback: 03:10–04:41
• Gwen Stefani & cultural nostalgia: 05:03–06:06 & 34:23–34:36
• Bravo/Summer House drama deep dive: 09:38–16:40
• On being radicalized into a perm via TikTok: 36:21–37:41, 87:43–88:53
• Impressions and reenactments of Bravo reunion: 27:06–31:00
• Discussing grief, mediums, and healing: 49:00–50:29
• Karaoke & Blair’s lack of desire to sing: 08:08, 61:04–62:14
• On hiking, LA/NYC culture, and hanging with Greta: 51:26–53:10
• Short kings & dating discourse: 72:07–73:36
• Pop icons: Gaga > Gwen: 62:10–62:33
• I Don’t Think So, Honey (Segment): 79:44–89:07

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Memorable Moments & Bits

• Amanda Reunion Apology Bit (27:22): Blair/joined by Matt and Bowen does a pitch-perfect, unhinged Andy Cohen Summer House reunion simulation, riffing on all the “apologies” and Bravo tropes.
• Jesse’s Song Riff (20:37): The trio cracks up about how every summer house scandal is punctuated by Jesse posting his “falling in love” song by a body of water.
• On Perm Talk and Regrets (87:51): Blair’s “I Don’t Think So, Honey: Perm Gate” is a cathartic retelling of social media-fueled beauty mishaps.
• On Micro-Flirting with Winks (63:09): Blair lovingly chats about the magic of being winked at, even by little old men at coffee shops.

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Takeaways

• Culture is Both Comfort and Chaos: The group beautifully weaves humor through their takes on pop culture, reality TV dramatics, and the unpredictability of personal growth.
• Reality TV as Community Mirror: The Summer House debate serves as a perfect lens for discussing friendship codes, relationship power dynamics, and how online fandom amplifies everything.
• Personal Growth Gets Messy: Whether Blair’s talking about grieving her brother, regretting her perm, or growing past childhood idols, the episode is surprisingly vulnerable amid the laughs.
• Las Culturistas Remains Cultural Therapy: The hosts and guest show that dissecting culture is a therapeutic, bonding act—as is just talking shit with your besties.

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Closing Vibes

They end, as always, singing Gwen Stefani’s “Don’t Speak”—to honor both their collective past and their guest’s origin story—proving that, even when culture hurts, you might as well harmonize through it.

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Recurring Bit Alert!

Throughout:

• Red Corduroy Hat Rule: “You don’t have to qualify it.”
• Perm Regret: Blair’s Heath Ledger “Dogtown” routine—truly title-of-ep worthy.
• Short Kings, Door Sex, and Winks: Ever-ascending, ever-hilarious.

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For fans: This episode is a laughter-packed, insight-rich therapy session for anyone reeling both from Bravo drama and their own TikTok-laced existential crises.

Transcript

[Blair Saki]

This is an iHeart podcast. Guaranteed Human.

[Matt Rogers]

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[Bowen Yang]

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[Matt Rogers]

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[Bowen Yang]

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[Matt Rogers]

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[Bowen Yang]

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[Matt Rogers]

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[Bowen Yang]

There's also a multi symptom relief cream when broader support is needed. Preparation Age treats the issue rather than just masking it. No shame here, only solutions.

[Matt Rogers]

So if a butt has been begging for a little kindness, wipe and treat for better relief with the number one doctor recommended brand, Preparation H. Look, man.

[Bowen Yang]

Where?

[Matt Rogers]

Oh, I see my eye. Oh my Bowen. Look over there. Wow.

[Bowen Yang]

Is that culture?

[Blair Saki]

Yes.

[Matt Rogers]

Goodness. Wow. Last culture. Ding dong Las culturistas calling. It's gonna be a rollicking day.

[Bowen Yang]

I think it's gonna be rockin in the. Rollin ticking. And the bastion over the horizon. What can it be?

[Matt Rogers]

What the hell is that?

[Bowen Yang]

It's a Schoolhouse Rock song.

[Matt Rogers]

Wow.

[Bowen Yang]

It's a Schoolhouse Rock song about Plymouth Rock.

[Matt Rogers]

Okay.

[Bowen Yang]

Cause they had the history unit.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah, of course. Do you remember everything you need to know about this rock because of the song?

[Bowen Yang]

No, I don't think. I don't think there's much to know about it. Why.

[Matt Rogers]

Why are we.

[Bowen Yang]

Why are we worshiping at the feet of a rock babe?

[Matt Rogers]

Can I tell you something? Everything from this country that we're worshiping, it's a big old stop. And don't think that I'm talking about all kinds of national treasures. And I'M gonna bring one up today. That was our guest. Eight and a half years ago, Kate walked her ass into her unpermed ass at the time. Today, she's got a perm.

[Bowen Yang]

She's got a perm. And it looks good to me.

[Matt Rogers]

It looks good. Well, she's not happy.

[Bowen Yang]

She's not happy.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah.

[Bowen Yang]

She has nothing to be unhappy about. Look at her. She waltzes in. This is her grand return to New York City, big time. After several years of being sort of excommunicated from this town.

[Matt Rogers]

She was kicked out.

[Bowen Yang]

She was waiting for a socialist mayor before she came back.

[Matt Rogers]

Well, I got news for you.

[Bowen Yang]

I got news for it. But no, look at her. She is bridging the gap between New York and Cali. She's got her surfer hat on.

[Matt Rogers]

She wants to qualify her red hat,

[Bowen Yang]

which we did not. Which we were not concerned about. It's corduroy. If it's read in corduroy, you don't have to qualify no culture.

[Matt Rogers]

If it's what ruler culture is that again?

[Bowen Yang]

57.

[Matt Rogers]

If it's red and corduroy, you don't have to qualify it. Otherwise we could have a conversation. But she walked her ass unpermed at the time in here eight and a half years ago and said her culture. That said culture was for me, was Gwen Stefani.

[Bowen Yang]

We didn't know everything. This is before things happened.

[Matt Rogers]

This is before, like, you know, it

[Blair Saki]

was a different time.

[Matt Rogers]

It was a different time. I tell you. Like, we'll bring the guest in, but you know what? Let's just bring the guest in. I'd like to say this to her face.

[Bowen Yang]

She hosts Spaced out, the wonderful podcast. She is doing a show in New York. By the time this comes out, it'll have happened. Everyone will have been crying tears over how amazing it was. She's at Netflix as a joke, on May 5th.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah, and there was one other thing, too.

[Blair Saki]

Hollywood improv.

[Matt Rogers]

Hollywood improv. We forgot to say where. Touring.

[Bowen Yang]

She's a touring girl.

[Matt Rogers]

You got to follow Blair Saki on Instagram, but for all sorts of perm. Hi drinks as well as tour dates. And we're so excited to have our friend back. I miss her so much. There was like a solid period in LA where we were going on hikes regularly. Bring back the hikes.

[Bowen Yang]

They never went away.

[Matt Rogers]

I know. We just stopped scheduling them.

[Bowen Yang]

Yes, yes.

[Matt Rogers]

But we're so back as of today. I'm so happy.

[Bowen Yang]

Everyone, welcome.

[Matt Rogers]

Blair Saki.

[Blair Saki]

It is so back. It was so great to be back here.

[Matt Rogers]

So back to be great.

[Blair Saki]

Back to be great. I violently hungover.

[Bowen Yang]

What did you do? Oh, you went out with Rosebud.

[Blair Saki]

You know, I have a famous voice, so sort of the whole town stops if I like to sing a song.

[Matt Rogers]

Can I ask you a question? Did you. Did you give them Just a Girl, just for old time's sake?

[Blair Saki]

No, I didn't. Because things have changed as you. You made a little preview.

[Matt Rogers]

You can no longer support preface.

[Blair Saki]

No, I mean my girl. My girl out there who I grew up with, you know, she was doing the femme tomboy that my whole life was sort of modeled off of Anaheim. An Orange county girl. Yeah, you know, the. She was. She was everything. The red plaid with the cutoff tank tops, you know, everything. Blue hair. And now she's peddling some goddamn prayer app or some shit.

[Matt Rogers]

Well, the thing about Orange county girls is they become Orange county women.

[Blair Saki]

Sure.

[Matt Rogers]

And that's roller coaster number 88. The thing about Orange county girls is they become Orange county women. And that's not always on the right side of the political spectrum.

[Blair Saki]

I know. And then some of us, we get saved by moving to a big city.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah.

[Blair Saki]

And then you meet other people of, you know, sort of different races and religions, creeds, and you understand sort of the rest of the world.

[Matt Rogers]

You think that she's been so many more cities than just Orange.

[Blair Saki]

Even more than me, somehow. And then she made it back to a prayer app. Yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

Do you blame Blake, or was that always in her?

[Blair Saki]

I think it was in her.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah.

[Blair Saki]

When she went to that ranch with that disgraced politician who ended up quitting.

[Matt Rogers]

Paul Ryan.

[Blair Saki]

Paul Ryan. Can't believe I resurrected his name. Everyone forgot about his ass.

[Matt Rogers]

You know, I played him in, like, an improv everywhere thing.

[Blair Saki]

What?

[Matt Rogers]

One time? Yeah. I played Paul Ryan.

[Blair Saki]

Wow.

[Matt Rogers]

It was like, wait, I barely remember

[Blair Saki]

what the most chic he's ever been.

[Matt Rogers]

I went to Madison, Wisconsin. Yeah. I went. I went to. I was doing, like, man on the street as Paul Ryan right outside his office, being like, I'm Paul Ryan. Do you think trickle down works? It doesn't.

[Blair Saki]

Oh, God.

[Matt Rogers]

Like, I was like, sort of like.

[Bowen Yang]

And people believed that you were Paul Ryan.

[Blair Saki]

Is this still on the Internet?

[Matt Rogers]

I don't think so. I don't think it ever, like, really took off. But that's my Paul Ryan.

[Blair Saki]

Sure.

[Bowen Yang]

Gosh, what a time. I did an improv everywhere thing once.

[Blair Saki]

What was improv everywhere, by the way?

[Bowen Yang]

You don't remember this?

[Matt Rogers]

Oh, you would be great.

[Blair Saki]

Sorry. I don't know. I'm a jock. You know that I would Love to

[Matt Rogers]

see you just pop up anywhere. Oh, this is real theater. Gay shit.

[Bowen Yang]

Improv everywhere was basically like comedy, like, flash mob.

[Blair Saki]

Oh, I love that.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah.

[Blair Saki]

Yeah, that sounds really fun.

[Bowen Yang]

It was like. It was like, spontaneous things happening, like, in public spaces. So Matt's kind of describing a version of this, and it was like, gosh, it's such a bygone era of Internet and comedy.

[Blair Saki]

Yeah, that sounds really fun.

[Bowen Yang]

I know.

[Blair Saki]

Well, I just think it's so great that you guys are having me back on the podcast. You know, I saw Jennifer Lawrence on, and I said, okay, I'll come on again.

[Matt Rogers]

Yes.

[Blair Saki]

You know.

[Matt Rogers]

Well, you texted, and I was like, yeah, come. All we want is for a pal of ours to sit in the.

[Blair Saki]

Yeah, you and Nicole S. Kidman.

[Bowen Yang]

S. Kidman.

[Matt Rogers]

Nicole S. Kidman.

[Bowen Yang]

Is that the middle name?

[Blair Saki]

I have no idea. But I feel like, Samantha. Samantha. It's definitely Samantha. Nicole Samantha. And I saw that she came, and I was like, okay, I'll come back on. I'll come back on. I love what's happening for Nicole right now. I sort of feel the renaissance she's happening, and it is fun to watch.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah, I love it.

[Bowen Yang]

It's been happening. Wait, what'd you sing at karaoke last night?

[Blair Saki]

Well, Rosebud made me sing Fall Out Boy, which I do feel was a little stereotypical.

[Matt Rogers]

Okay. As a tomboy.

[Blair Saki]

Yeah. She said, oh, like ol Orange county girl all comes to the big city, we'll have her sing Fall Out Boy.

[Matt Rogers]

Which song? Which classic?

[Blair Saki]

Going down.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah.

[Blair Saki]

Sugar and Sugar Hoo.

[Matt Rogers]

Going down.

[Blair Saki]

Swing it. And then. And everyone. You know, I am famous for having sort of a beautiful, beautiful voice. A lot of men on the Internet compliment me daily about it. And everyone was like, begging me to sing. Please, please, please. That's why came here, you know? And then Rosa was like, I swear, like, this one is in your pitch.

[Matt Rogers]

In your voice, in your pitch, in your pitch.

[Blair Saki]

And I was like, what is that? And she said, skater.

[Matt Rogers]

Skater pitch. So skater pitch might be title of that.

[Blair Saki]

Yeah.

[Bowen Yang]

Skater, skater pitch.

[Blair Saki]

Skater with an eight. Yeah. So I sang.

[Matt Rogers]

Did you feel good about the performance after?

[Blair Saki]

Yeah, but see, I have every bit of performance in me. I just don't have the pipes, you know, I have the melody. I just do not have the instrument.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah, but you have an indelible instrument.

[Matt Rogers]

Thank you.

[Bowen Yang]

Where it's like. It's just. You have, like, Jennifer Tilly voice, you know?

[Matt Rogers]

Dresher as.

[Blair Saki]

You fucking kidding me?

[Matt Rogers]

Do you love J. Till?

[Blair Saki]

Of course. How could you not?

[Matt Rogers]

Are you up to date on all the housewives in Bravo.

[Blair Saki]

Yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

Are you up to date? Are you of summer house culture?

[Blair Saki]

Are you kidding me? I don't think so, honey. Amanda. Just kidding. Kyle said to his layoff.

[Matt Rogers]

Kyle did. Said to layoff. So are you taking the cues from Kyle Cook in this era?

[Blair Saki]

Well, that is perhaps, you know, aside from Crossing God's gift. Sierra.

[Bowen Yang]

Right.

[Blair Saki]

That is secondly the most tragic thing to even feel even one ounce of sympathy towards Mr. Kyle Cook. You know, and now somehow we're all invested in saving the business. I mean, you know, it goes on and on.

[Matt Rogers]

He kind of.

[Bowen Yang]

He kind of really. It kind of all worked out.

[Blair Saki]

Yeah.

[Bowen Yang]

For him. Not all of it, obviously. When he's going through divorce, I do

[Blair Saki]

have a hunch they'll get back together. But, you know, Amanda and.

[Matt Rogers]

Amanda and Kyle, what do you see happening from here on out?

[Blair Saki]

Well, when he gave that interview, spoke very kindly about her, and, you know, she's receiving. And look, as much as this is all of our television, I do want to be sympathetic. I don't actually wish harm, of course, on anyone. This is, you know, our.

[Bowen Yang]

We're doing comedy here.

[Blair Saki]

Our entertainment. Yes. Preface. Some people out there.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah. They have their pitchfork and they're. They have their guns blazing.

[Blair Saki]

Yes. But Kyle made a beautifully gracious. Beautifully gracious plea. And, you know, I don't think that'll fall on deaf ears with Amanda.

[Matt Rogers]

No, I think that. I think. Well, here's the thing. I. And this is how I genuinely feel about it. I blame west, period. So did Kyle. And you know what? Like, I feel like this is the thing that I can't unsee. And I said this to Beau the other day.

[Bowen Yang]

Oh, this is.

[Matt Rogers]

This is what?

[Bowen Yang]

I can't. You ready to hear this?

[Matt Rogers]

Have you noticed that Amanda's Instagram, she started kind of dressing a little bit like him, and her content has sort of become a little west coded.

[Blair Saki]

Yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

Like, it'll be like a picture of a sandwich on a plate.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah, yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

It'll be like her with, like, that Elwood hat and, like, kind of like a big jacket.

[Blair Saki]

She's dressing like him. Yes.

[Matt Rogers]

She's like, two seconds away from giving. Like.

[Blair Saki]

I know.

[Matt Rogers]

You know what I mean? Like, and I feel like that is a sign, a telltale sign of dickmatization. Of dickmatization. Thank you, sister.

[Blair Saki]

And look, look, look, look. I'll say this. We've all been there.

[Matt Rogers]

Oh, honey, I haven't. Yes, you have. I was there. What? I was there when you were diplomatized.

[Blair Saki]

You were there.

[Bowen Yang]

I never Dressed like the guy.

[Blair Saki]

Right.

[Matt Rogers]

That's. Cause it didn't last long enough.

[Bowen Yang]

Right.

[Matt Rogers]

Cause I think your community pulled around

[Bowen Yang]

you and said, honey, my community really did come.

[Matt Rogers]

We see you being dictated.

[Bowen Yang]

Yes.

[Matt Rogers]

You're about two weeks away from dressing like this man, which also wouldn't have been good.

[Blair Saki]

Right.

[Matt Rogers]

Uh.

[Blair Saki]

Oh.

[Matt Rogers]

But you have to yank your friend out of that. And I feel like, unfortunately, the thing about Amanda is. Which I hadn't really realized is she does kind of, like, isolate, you know?

[Blair Saki]

Like, she had such an arc of going for her, though. Like, she was having such a quick rise. It was just brand, deal, brand, deal, brand, deal. She was, like, reclaiming all the things.

[Matt Rogers]

The way she tore through that Shirley's copy.

[Blair Saki]

Yeah. I mean, all of it.

[Bowen Yang]

I said this.

[Matt Rogers]

I said a star was born when she tore through that Chili's copy. Like a hurricane.

[Bowen Yang]

Like a hurricane.

[Blair Saki]

And we were all like, oh, my God. Bad bitch. She's reclaiming her life. Like, all this stuff. And then it was just swift. Swift as she came in.

[Bowen Yang]

Swift as she came in. What do you make of. I don't know how to feel about this. There's so much girls girl discourse.

[Matt Rogers]

Lots.

[Bowen Yang]

And I don't know. I think there's so many sides to it where, like, is that even a helpful framework to talk about, like, how women should exist, like, independent of who they're dealing with interpersonally? Like, I don't think there's anything wrong either way. Or anything virtuous, I don't know. Well, obviously, Amanda did something truly bad, but there is something about, like, current reality TV culture where it's like, we all expect a consequence, which is, like, that's not up to us.

[Blair Saki]

I don't know. It's like. I don't know that we should be ever choosing a consequence. It should be with the people that are, like, actually involved, you know? But I like all my girlfriends. We've all talked about this. Everyone's like, this is worse. This is worse. It's more upsetting that you cross Sierra than your husband. Yeah, well, that's how much we cherish our girlfriends, you know? And it's just so.

[Matt Rogers]

Well, we've literally seen. We've been a fly on the wall to the Kyle and Amanda dynamic for a long time. And I feel like the thing that's so evident is that whatever you assess about their relationship, it was not working. They were not in it for a long time, both of them. So then it's like, for me, the. The crime that's being committed, because it's not cheating. There's no cheating. That's happening here. It is a violation of girl code for me. What's so egregious about it is the

[Blair Saki]

lying around cheating on Sierra.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

Yes. So that. That is, I think, the violation. And one thing I don't love is everyone being like, poor Sierra, poor Sierra, poor Sierra. Like, I feel like she's so sensitive to being. Feeling embarrassed.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

And like, she doesn't want this from people. I feel like. Like I just want to, like, support Ciara, like, and she should take the time. But, like, I just don't want it to get to the point where it's like we're infantilizing these people because something bad happened to them. Like, she's a very strong, smart person who, by the way, has become the best thing about that show.

[Blair Saki]

Yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

Her, KJ and MIA have created so much dimension in that show. She's going to be fine and amazing and everyone's going to be. Everyone's being like, we need to give her the Ariana Maddox glop. It'.

[Blair Saki]

No.

[Matt Rogers]

If she wants that, she'll make that happen for herself.

[Blair Saki]

Well, she is one of the most lauded, like, overqualified reality TV figures that we have. She could be today like a literal supermodel.

[Bowen Yang]

Yes. Yes.

[Blair Saki]

She has a nursing degree. I mean, she has. She. She's everything. And she, she brings a lot of depth and she's. And that's the hardest part, is that she's so die hard for her friends.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

I know.

[Blair Saki]

You know? Well, Rosebud calls me pathologically naive because when I saw the rumors for a while, I was, you guys are reaching. They would never do that. I was like, I do not believe these rumors at all. And then I heard word.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah.

[Blair Saki]

From inside sources.

[Bowen Yang]

Same.

[Blair Saki]

Like a few days before the statement that it was all real and all this stuff. And I was just devastated.

[Bowen Yang]

Right.

[Blair Saki]

I was just like, there's no way.

[Matt Rogers]

I couldn't believe it. Honestly. It's like, first of all, can we just talk about the west of it all? Were you guys into it?

[Bowen Yang]

Because I.

[Blair Saki]

Was I.

[Bowen Yang]

Into what?

[Blair Saki]

Like, like, I've never been it.

[Matt Rogers]

I fell for the whole west thing.

[Blair Saki]

I have not. I think, like, me is seven years ago, definitely. Or me 12 years ago. Who knows? But no, I didn't feel anything for him.

[Bowen Yang]

West is like a starter pack for people.

[Matt Rogers]

Oh, that's all.

[Bowen Yang]

Everyone's laughing. West is a starter pack for, like a couple. A kind of guy that, like, you are. That you learn a lesson. Like, you learn. You learn. So Many fundamental lessons about. About manhood or maleness or whatever. Through him.

[Blair Saki]

That Sierra season where he. I could. I was like, I have never been more fooled by anyone and I have been dating straight men my entire life. I mean, when he. It looked like a little puppy dog chasing someone so far out of their league. They were in a different galaxy.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah, I know.

[Blair Saki]

And then he somehow manages to get close to her, in her orbit. And it seems like he's just pleading but living on a prayer the whole season. And then at the end it's like, she's like, okay, I guess. And then he's like, psych, you know? And I was like, are you kidding me?

[Matt Rogers]

You know what it is?

[Blair Saki]

They get too close to the sun and they get confidence.

[Matt Rogers]

You know what else I think is going on here is we see the way he like really intentionally dresses himself and we see the way he like does. He is like sort of like on the show anyway, sort of a good friend and he comes out with his good politics, you know what I mean? He kind of plays the role of I couldn't. Once you get to know me, you get me. And like you're gonna accept certain things and then all of a sudden you're blindsided when he's done something incredibly self serving and you think, oh, that's all part of the diplomatization package. You know what I mean?

[Blair Saki]

It's like, well, it's non threatening, wacky, silly dude that you don't have your guard up around and there's no way

[Matt Rogers]

you're gonna look like the worst behaved man there because you're on a reality show with Kyle Cook and not for nothing but Jesse.

[Blair Saki]

Sure.

[Matt Rogers]

And I love Kyle Cook and I embrace like a lot of. What?

[Bowen Yang]

No.

[Matt Rogers]

Cause we hung out with them. This is what's so shitty. It's like we hung out with Kyle and Amanda and Sierra was around too, and I just.

[Blair Saki]

Was it 4am it was.

[Matt Rogers]

It was late. It was late.

[Blair Saki]

I just want to go to sleep, you know. And I was like, oh, oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know how to stay up

[Matt Rogers]

at 4am no, Amanda was out. Amanda was out.

[Blair Saki]

If you're getting married, why do you have to stay up at 4am if you're married? That's what you know.

[Bowen Yang]

Amanda. Can I say something? Can I reveal something about Amanda?

[Blair Saki]

Yeah.

[Bowen Yang]

What locked me in with her was she was like, I loved Dick's the musical.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah.

[Bowen Yang]

I was like, fuck, I have to like you now.

[Matt Rogers]

Well, here's the thing.

[Blair Saki]

Who doesn't like Dick's the musical.

[Matt Rogers]

That is true.

[Blair Saki]

That's. That's sort of not.

[Matt Rogers]

But she's like a stoner who likes this musical.

[Bowen Yang]

Like, she's a stoner who likes like comedy. It's like, oh, like you're like our people, you know, like you're.

[Blair Saki]

Well, like I. This past two seasons when she's become a girls girl because she became so removed from her marriage and I was like, well, we don't. You. You don't know what she's like, like single, not revolved around a man. I was like, no, I think she's reformed. Like I always, I always fall into. I always believe. And I'm like, she's so pretty. I love the way she does her makeup. I love the way she dress. Like she just looks great. The girls are so cute. Like how they've all had this long years friendship.

[Bowen Yang]

Well, the other, the other west thing is like, I can't believe like he was living with them. Yeah, wasn't he? Like, that's like, that's what's dark. That's another dimension of darkness in this whole situation. To me. It's like, oh God, like Kyle leaves the house and then what happens?

[Blair Saki]

I know and you know these like bravo FBI girls that are going through like retracing every step of every footage.

[Matt Rogers]

I know I've been seeing them on

[Blair Saki]

Facebook posting clips and you're just like, oh my God. Yeah, we were all so blind. We were all so young back then when we believed. Yeah, yeah, the sock over the microphone. Oh, Jesse just keeps posting his song.

[Matt Rogers]

He does keep posting his song as

[Blair Saki]

his song, like as this where as the scandal is breaking.

[Matt Rogers]

He's like singing on the beach. Yeah. He's like dying every body of water

[Blair Saki]

that there is and they're, they're like breaking.

[Bowen Yang]

Everyone was being crazy singing his song

[Blair Saki]

about falling in love and every comment's like, not now, Jesse. What the fuck are you talking about, Jesse? I know we have a, like a earth shattering sound. Scandal breaking. What are you doing, Jesse?

[Matt Rogers]

Not now. No, not now.

[Bowen Yang]

No, not now.

[Matt Rogers]

Maybe I think wait like a week every day. Although honestly, no, you know what, grind king? I say post the singing. I think now he should not stop posting singing.

[Blair Saki]

He's like, no, I'm a. This is the moment for crooning somebody.

[Bowen Yang]

You and Jesse really are alike.

[Matt Rogers]

You're about to say someone told me that we look.

[Bowen Yang]

We look the same.

[Matt Rogers]

No, I wasn't going to say that.

[Blair Saki]

Oh my God, Jesse, you just made me laugh so hard I had to take off my coat oh, God, Jesse, you and your song in front of all the bodies of water just made me laugh so fucking hard I had to take off my overcoat.

[Bowen Yang]

That's so sweet.

[Matt Rogers]

I do. Okay, so here's what I think. Cause I do think that Sierra is now

[Bowen Yang]

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[Matt Rogers]

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[Bowen Yang]

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[Matt Rogers]

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[Bowen Yang]

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[Matt Rogers]

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[Bowen Yang]

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[Matt Rogers]

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[Bowen Yang]

Huge thanks again to our sponsor, Vital Proteins.

[Matt Rogers]

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[Bowen Yang]

I thought you said it was proven by science.

[Matt Rogers]

Never said that. I just said it was good.

[Bowen Yang]

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[Matt Rogers]

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[Bowen Yang]

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[Matt Rogers]

Plus you can shop with Wayfair verified, AKA your shortcut to the good stuff. Their team of product specialists vet everything by hand using a 10 point quality inspection. So you know you're getting a quality piece no matter your budget.

[Bowen Yang]

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[Matt Rogers]

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[Bowen Yang]

Wayfair makes it simple to narrow down to exactly what works for your style

[Matt Rogers]

and budget with features like reviews, filters and visual tools that help you find

[Bowen Yang]

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[Matt Rogers]

Wayday is the sale to shop the best deals in home. We're talking up to 80% off with fast and free shipping on everything. Head to Wayfair.com April 25th through the 27th to shop Wayday. That's W A Y-F-A-I R.com Wayfair Every style, every home.

[Bowen Yang]

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[Matt Rogers]

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[Bowen Yang]

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[Matt Rogers]

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[Bowen Yang]

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[Matt Rogers]

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[Bowen Yang]

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[Matt Rogers]

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[Bowen Yang]

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[Matt Rogers]

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[Bowen Yang]

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[Matt Rogers]

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[Bowen Yang]

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[Matt Rogers]

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[Bowen Yang]

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[Matt Rogers]

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[Bowen Yang]

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[Matt Rogers]

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[Bowen Yang]

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[Blair Saki]

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[Matt Rogers]

So just to close the loop on the summer house for now, if you're Amanda at the reunion and I'm Andy Cohen.

[Blair Saki]

Yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

And I turn to you and I say, this is the first thing I'm saying to you. And Bowen is Sierra and this is the way it's going to be.

[Blair Saki]

So I'm not in it.

[Matt Rogers]

Sierra's gonna be here and you're a man.

[Blair Saki]

Okay. So I'm not in it.

[Bowen Yang]

The seating chart is that Amanda's here. Yeah.

[Blair Saki]

You're not in Brickell trailer because there's no restraining order. False restraining order.

[Bowen Yang]

Right. Oh, that. Because that ended up being false.

[Blair Saki]

Unless something gets cooked up. Remember Raquel couldn't come in because of the.

[Bowen Yang]

Because she filed one.

[Matt Rogers]

Oh, yeah.

[Bowen Yang]

Against Sheena.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah. She had to wait because they had that she, her and Sheena couldn't be and stuff talk. So. Okay. Amanda, I am Andy Cohen. Is there anything that you want to say to Sierra?

[Blair Saki]

Oh, my God. You know I'm way too sincere for this. And the most earnest person alive.

[Matt Rogers]

Do it. I think she needs to be earnest.

[Blair Saki]

Okay. Sierra, there's nothing that I can say to make this better. I have made one of the maybe most all time worst decisions ever that anyone's ever made ever in the universe. And that includes, you know, the inception

[Matt Rogers]

of AI and the inception.

[Blair Saki]

Inception or conception. I think both are interchangeable.

[Matt Rogers]

I'm Andy Cohen. That's not important right now.

[Blair Saki]

Amanda, I have add.

[Matt Rogers]

You have to tell Sierra.

[Blair Saki]

I smoke a lot of weed. Andy, you know that. Everybody knows that.

[Matt Rogers]

I know it too. Kyle, not now.

[Blair Saki]

Oh, my God. Sierra's look right now is just burning a hole through me.

[Matt Rogers]

And, Sarah, this is your opportunity to make things better, Andy Cohen.

[Blair Saki]

Right. And, Sarah, what you don't know about this whole situation that I was waiting to reveal on this reunion is that I was drugged with a syringe.

[Bowen Yang]

Amanda.

[Matt Rogers]

What? This is crazy, man. Kyle.

[Blair Saki]

Kyle, shut the up. Kyle.

[Bowen Yang]

I can't tell if you're doing Andy or Kyle.

[Matt Rogers]

This is my Andy Cohen.

[Blair Saki]

I didn't marry a dj. Kyle, I'm trying to talk.

[Matt Rogers]

Okay?

[Bowen Yang]

Can I speak?

[Matt Rogers]

I guess this house will pay for itself.

[Bowen Yang]

Oh, God. Can I speak as Sierra?

[Matt Rogers]

Sierra, what do you have to say to Amanda and do you accept your apology?

[Bowen Yang]

All I have to say to you is that the Loverboy logo fucking sucks.

[Matt Rogers]

You don't think that.

[Bowen Yang]

I think.

[Matt Rogers]

I think it's a great logo and we have to give credit where it's due.

[Bowen Yang]

I don't understand the flower boy graphic.

[Matt Rogers]

I think it has to speak to lover boy graphic. Right.

[Bowen Yang]

Which it doesn't.

[Blair Saki]

I think we're getting off track here. I just want to tell you that I know the clothes that I wore of Wes are really ass ugly to hell. And I thought I was being like,

[Matt Rogers]

hey, man,

[Blair Saki]

stop it, Wes, you are so sweaty, I can't even look at it.

[Matt Rogers]

Falling in love, Jesse Falling in love by the waterside Jesse, we heard your shows. We actually heard your shows quote, unquote, go off. Something someone really told me. But not now. Yeah, man, not now.

[Blair Saki]

Jesse, you hosted that one dinner, and it was so nice that you sang those goddamn songs, but we were all just being polite. We didn't mean start a goddamn career about it anyways. Wes, stop sweating. You look like you just were in a swimming pool. Can someone get this man a towel?

[Matt Rogers]

Actually, you know what? I shouldn't say anything as Wes, because, you know, that's what he's gonna do at the reunion. He's gonna totally shut down and he's gonna do that pathetic boy thing.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah, he was. Wasn't he silent that one reunion?

[Matt Rogers]

Yes.

[Bowen Yang]

And I was like, come on.

[Blair Saki]

It was like watching Buffering in real time. And I was like, is he joking? Is he, like, doing that thing that they do in court where they, you know, it's like plead insanity, but plead, like, not there association.

[Matt Rogers]

Oh, yeah, I think he said it in his, like, didn't he write something in the New York fucking Times?

[Blair Saki]

Oh, when he made an op Ed, when he was like, yeah, I just like, wasn't that into her or whatever? And I was like, are you talking about. Are you talking about. You shouldn't have even been in this on the same show.

[Matt Rogers]

God, when you put it in full context, it's so much worse.

[Bowen Yang]

It's so much worse. And I'm just gonna say, if you ever go to the New York Times op ed, you're fucking crazy for any reason at all.

[Blair Saki]

Wes, how'd you even know that the New York Times existed?

[Matt Rogers]

Because he's a liberal and he'll let you know.

[Blair Saki]

Oh, my God.

[Matt Rogers]

He's. Wait, he's a sports journalist.

[Blair Saki]

Oh, yeah, whoever at Bravo, by the way.

[Matt Rogers]

Oh, here we go.

[Bowen Yang]

Here we go.

[Matt Rogers]

By the way, I love that we were doing vocal impressions and Blair was just Blair as Amanda the whole time.

[Bowen Yang]

I wasn't really doing Sierra.

[Blair Saki]

No, no. At first I was Amanda because I was really quiet stoned, you know?

[Matt Rogers]

You were quiet stoned and ashamed. Title of app. Quiet stoned and ashamed. We haven't even qualified your red hat yet. We're just gonna talk about the red hat.

[Blair Saki]

You guys said I didn't need a qualification.

[Bowen Yang]

You don't.

[Matt Rogers]

You don't.

[Blair Saki]

You don't qualify.

[Matt Rogers]

Wait, first say the last thing you

[Blair Saki]

were saying about, oh, I was in Amanda. I was quiet, stone and ashamed, and then you. And then you morphed into Jesse Solomon, and I forgot everything.

[Matt Rogers]

Love can be an amazing thing. By the water, brunette.

[Blair Saki]

Summer house is, like, burning down behind him, and he's just singing.

[Matt Rogers]

Did you see? They're selling it. They're selling the summer house.

[Blair Saki]

They're up for sale. I was like, look what you did, Wes.

[Matt Rogers]

Wait, is that a bad sign?

[Blair Saki]

Yeah, that's an omen. They're selling the goddamn house. Cause of you, Wesley.

[Matt Rogers]

That might be nominated for the Black Spot award for worst shown, worst omen

[Bowen Yang]

that they're selling the summer house.

[Blair Saki]

Yeah. Is it the same one really bad?

[Bowen Yang]

It was a new one after Covid or. No, they went back to the old one after the COVID season.

[Blair Saki]

Yeah, they did.

[Matt Rogers]

Okay, the people who a property once attended by Erica Kirk. By Erica Kirk dying in here. Oh, my God.

[Blair Saki]

I forgot about the Erika Kirk.

[Bowen Yang]

Okay, the show is dark.

[Blair Saki]

Erica, you were there, so do not fucking send us. Cease and desist. Okay? You were there.

[Matt Rogers]

We had a my impression of Erica seeing this episode. Stop, stop, stop. Just stop. That's all that crazy. That's a Rule of culture number eight. My children are gonna hear Las culturistas Erica Kerr.

[Blair Saki]

My children are gonna think I was on Summer House one minute before I married podcaster Charlie Kirk.

[Matt Rogers]

Podcaster, character,

[Blair Saki]

child, child debater Charlie Kirk, pro education child debater, college dropout Charlie Kirk. If you do, come see me live. I sort of like to give my audience, like, a fun break from, you know, the rest of the world. But this hat. Look, red's my favorite color, and it has been since kindergarten. This man is stolen enough. I just started getting comfortable wearing my red hats again. In the last year of Biden presidency. Then things. A lot of people made a lot of bad decision, and then I thought, you know, I'm gonna take it back.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah, you have to. It's not like Gwen. It's like there's something to be saved there.

[Matt Rogers]

How heartbroken are you?

[Bowen Yang]

Aww.

[Matt Rogers]

Cause you arm yourself with jokes and humor, sure. But behind the mask was a very hurt girl about Gwen Stefani.

[Blair Saki]

Oh, my God, you said it, Matt. And thank you for really getting down to the truth, because you said it, Matt. You said it, Matt.

[Bowen Yang]

Said it.

[Blair Saki]

Man, you can read me like a goddamn book, something Erica's never done, but

[Matt Rogers]

I. I think she's read a lot of books.

[Bowen Yang]

Erica's read a lot.

[Matt Rogers]

I think she's read Sun Tzu's Art of War. As have I. As have I, Erica. Okay, Just know that I just too. I've read Art of War too, bitch. Me, you, and Taylor Swift.

[Blair Saki]

What about is Art of War by that man, Robert Greene?

[Matt Rogers]

No, it's by sun tz.

[Blair Saki]

Wait, no. Robert Green has the sinister book as well. That's like, banned with the rules of

[Matt Rogers]

I don't know about Robin is I only trust. I only trust my girl, son.

[Blair Saki]

It's really. It's really sinister. The 48 laws of power.

[Matt Rogers]

Do you know them?

[Blair Saki]

No, I don't know that one. One time, once in a while, they'll come across my. For you. Because, I don't know, I probably follow someone else unsavory that I'm not aware of. And then I'm like, you know, get off my screen.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah, right.

[Blair Saki]

Erica, you know, you're.

[Bowen Yang]

Oh, I see. I thought you were implying that you followed Erica.

[Blair Saki]

No, I don't follow her.

[Matt Rogers]

No, but what happens? What happens? Like, so once you don't, you don't.

[Bowen Yang]

You don't.

[Matt Rogers]

But once you engage with even, like, watching one second of that content, it's all TikTok will give you.

[Blair Saki]

I know.

[Matt Rogers]

Like, do you know how many times Candace Owens has popped up on my TikTok.

[Blair Saki]

Like, hmm.

[Matt Rogers]

You let anyone question this?

[Blair Saki]

Yeah. Anyone ever think about that? Honey? How do you think I ended up here on the Los Culturista set with a goddamn perm?

[Bowen Yang]

Talk about the perm. What is going on? You're reading.

[Matt Rogers]

You went on TikTok and were influenced.

[Blair Saki]

Like, I liked one post.

[Matt Rogers]

You're on perm talk.

[Blair Saki]

I liked one post with a woman who I later made the synaptic connections, has the most opposite type of hair than I do. That didn't dawn on me until post perm. See, I'm such an idealist, Amanda. I believed in you and so I thought this woman. Cause they have these non toxic, healthy loose curl perms. So this woman had this most gorgeous. It looked like, you know, she had done big rollers.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah.

[Blair Saki]

Beautiful. And that was just her everyday. And she's like, I air dry my hair like this. And I'm an air. And as you can imagine, I'm an air dry bitch too.

[Matt Rogers]

Kelly Gurdler.

[Blair Saki]

And so I was like, oh yeah, that's definitely for me. I'm gonna up. You know, I've been trying a lot of beauty treatments and I can't get too into perm because you know a later segment. But. But I will say, you know that algorithm, it can get you in deep trouble. That's how the young men got radicalized. But me for a perm.

[Bowen Yang]

Right.

[Matt Rogers]

So the young man.

[Bowen Yang]

The young men got radicalized.

[Matt Rogers]

That's how the young men got radicalized. But me with permission. What now?

[Bowen Yang]

Connect the dots between you liking perm talk post with this woman.

[Matt Rogers]

So you arriving here today?

[Blair Saki]

Well, it was last week and it was sort of.

[Bowen Yang]

You got it in la.

[Matt Rogers]

I told my mom Blair was coming in and she goes, oh, she got a perm.

[Blair Saki]

Matt's mom knew I got a perm, which I was really thrilled about.

[Bowen Yang]

She's a hair professional.

[Blair Saki]

Yeah, yeah. And also I must say that my father, who calls you agent 436, who met you, might have been the first gay man he'd ever met.

[Matt Rogers]

Really? I kind of got that sense because I kind of got the sense that I was like enchanting him.

[Blair Saki]

Oh, he loves, you know.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah. And I think I also got him with the mile time. That's why I'm. Well, he told him Agent 436.

[Blair Saki]

And I was like, wow, you really connected with him on the straight males act.

[Matt Rogers]

Well, I'm good at that. I can code switch like a motherfucker.

[Blair Saki]

I know, I saw you.

[Matt Rogers]

Oh, trust me. We get a straight guy in here. I'm like, yo, Christopher Nolan, right? I'm like, ten hut, et cetera. I'm like, yo, dude, I called straight guy's brother.

[Blair Saki]

Yeah. No. Oh, my God. My parents were very charmed, but anytime, like, you pop up on something, he's like, agent. I saw Agent 436. If he names someone, it's their nickname for life.

[Bowen Yang]

That's a cool thing, because that is a great thing, the 436, because that's the mile time.

[Blair Saki]

Yeah, the mile time. So he called him Agent 436 the whole time.

[Matt Rogers]

I know how to impress less heterosexual

[Bowen Yang]

guys of different generations.

[Matt Rogers]

Just not enough that they sleep with me.

[Blair Saki]

Well, I would just say, because who doesn't want that? Once I was about to say, look, it's not hard, you know, it's actually so easy. You think, yeah, men will a door.

[Matt Rogers]

What's going.

[Blair Saki]

Every time I think, should I have this one bite of croissant or. And be like, even a little, like, tight? And then I was like, no, men will a door. I'm going to eat the croissant.

[Bowen Yang]

Where are they? Where are they? The door.

[Blair Saki]

I don't know. I don't know how 1.

[Matt Rogers]

They would fuck a door if there was nothing else.

[Blair Saki]

Yeah, no, they would. They still fuck doors. They still fuck doors. There's. They still fuck doors.

[Bowen Yang]

Women would fuck a door, too.

[Matt Rogers]

No, they wouldn't. It would be way harder.

[Blair Saki]

I don't even. Bowen, I don't even know how you'd get a door in there. Let's be real.

[Matt Rogers]

No, can we just stay real for once?

[Bowen Yang]

They find a way, Bowen.

[Blair Saki]

Can we be real? How would you even get a door shoved up there?

[Matt Rogers]

First of all, you're really. You're really centering sex around the insertive experience.

[Blair Saki]

Yeah, that's why I prefer it,

[Bowen Yang]

period.

[Matt Rogers]

I'm just saying, your sex is your sex out there.

[Blair Saki]

No, your. Your sex is. As Matt said, your sex is your sex out there.

[Matt Rogers]

Okay? So unless you're Gwen, what's going on with you sexually right now? You happy?

[Bowen Yang]

Oh, no.

[Matt Rogers]

Oh, she goes.

[Blair Saki]

I just. Look, I've had a rough year. It hasn't made me feel the most. I am dealing with acute grief, which is a odd, peculiar, out of body experience that doesn't make you, if you can believe it, feel super horny, I would imagine.

[Matt Rogers]

And we love you, by the way.

[Blair Saki]

Oh, thank you. I love you guys. And, you know, I'm of a certain age now that I'm not out here really tossing it around.

[Matt Rogers]

You're not hopping on dicks in the streets.

[Blair Saki]

No.

[Bowen Yang]

You're not looking at doors.

[Blair Saki]

I'm not looking at drawers. Different. Because how would it get in such a tiny, little, tiny little pinhole?

[Bowen Yang]

I just have a memory. Sorry. We'll get back to your grief. But we. There was a girl who sat behind me in the sixth grade, and she was up pressing herself against the corner of the desk every single time.

[Blair Saki]

The corner. Dude, I wonder what she was doing. What she was doing?

[Matt Rogers]

We all knew what she was doing.

[Bowen Yang]

We were like, amanda.

[Blair Saki]

She's so soothing. Amanda. Of course her name is Amanda.

[Matt Rogers]

Stop. Yeah, so. So anyway,

[Blair Saki]

she's hanging in Elmwood hat, acting cagey as fuck, but.

[Matt Rogers]

What'd you say? Elmwood hat. Wait, wait. Do you think she knew what she was doing?

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah, I think she was exploring her body and. And that way I celebrate. But I'm just saying.

[Blair Saki]

Sure.

[Bowen Yang]

In the insertive, penetrative way of sex. Like, sex is whatever you want.

[Matt Rogers]

Did you talk with the other kids?

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

About it.

[Bowen Yang]

We were all like, hey. Like, are we all noticing this? Yeah, it's okay. It was. No one was hurt.

[Blair Saki]

Really. You guys were all chill about it. You're like, yeah, I mean, Amanda gets a little freaking frisky in the afternoon post nap time. She needs that little corner desk.

[Matt Rogers]

It was.

[Blair Saki]

She's that little desk corner good just to take a little me time, you know?

[Matt Rogers]

Plus is so crazy.

[Bowen Yang]

So cra. So perfect.

[Blair Saki]

I don't want to be plus.

[Matt Rogers]

You bullied that girl.

[Bowen Yang]

No, we did.

[Matt Rogers]

You're acting way crazier.

[Bowen Yang]

No one did it. No, she did it all year, which tells you. No. No one spoke. It was. It was. Classic case of who's gonna tell her? You first. No one did.

[Matt Rogers]

That's bullying. You all talking about it without mentioning something.

[Bowen Yang]

That's not bullying.

[Matt Rogers]

That's classic. Textbook. Textbook housewives. No, it's very Joellen Tiberi coded. No, no, no. Have you been watching Rhode Island?

[Blair Saki]

I started watching it, but then Rosebud said we need to watch it together.

[Bowen Yang]

You do. You do. You do.

[Blair Saki]

Yeah. So we're watching. All I saw is a preview of I ran over a woman. And they're like, what do you mean, you ran over a woman? Yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah, I ran over a woman.

[Blair Saki]

I ran over a woman.

[Matt Rogers]

I can't believe. I can't believe casual. I ran over a woman, and then it was revealed.

[Blair Saki]

She's like, why? You ask? Why are you even questioning?

[Bowen Yang]

Right.

[Matt Rogers]

Totally.

[Blair Saki]

She's like, with a car.

[Matt Rogers]

Alicia is the star.

[Bowen Yang]

Alicia is the star. She went 15 miles per hour. She rounded a corner. A woman dove across her windshield. What? That's her story.

[Matt Rogers]

She clarified it. She was like a woman. I ran over one with my car. It's awful. I'm done with driving, right? Wait, you ran over a woman with your car? Yeah, I ran over a woman.

[Bowen Yang]

But then now she's impressed. She's been like, no, I was going 50 miles per hour and this woman dove 15.

[Matt Rogers]

So she was coming out of a red light and a woman, she Alicia claims dove in front of her car just appeared out of nowhere.

[Blair Saki]

I felt like in the clip that she acts annoyed that there's a follow up question.

[Matt Rogers]

Sometimes the butt goes through a lot. When the butt speaks, we listen.

[Bowen Yang]

Preparation H is the butt care expert known for helping people care for their hemorrhoids with confidence.

[Matt Rogers]

And because every situation is different, Preparation H offers relief in multiple forms that adapt to needs.

[Bowen Yang]

Medicated wipes formulated with witch hazel, aloe and vitamin E to help keep things calm, cool and collected, even in the case of dreaded hemorrhoids.

[Matt Rogers]

And for moments that feel a bit more dramatic, the Rapid relief spray with Maximum Strength Lidocaine provides fast relief from itching, burning and swelling.

[Bowen Yang]

There's also a multi symptom relief cream when broader support is needed.

[Matt Rogers]

It all works together as a simple system. A wipe, a cream spray helping make life feel manageable again.

[Bowen Yang]

I would love for that Preparation Age treats the issue rather than just masking it. No shame here, only solutions.

[Matt Rogers]

So if a butt has been begging for a little kindness, wipe and treat for better relief with the number one doctor Recommended brand and Preparation H, imagine

[Bowen Yang]

never buying gas again. EVs are as easy to charge as your phone and perfect for everyday life.

[Matt Rogers]

Drive daily with confidence everywhere you go. Most Americans drive 40 miles a day. Did you know that most EVs are equipped with 200 to 400 miles of range?

[Bowen Yang]

Here's the thing. They've got fewer parts, fewer repairs, and fewer headaches.

[Matt Rogers]

With hundreds of new and used EV models available today, there's an EV to fit every lifestyle and every budget. The way forward is electric. Learn [e-mail] when the afternoon slump hits, everything feels like an uphill battle.

[Bowen Yang]

Pure Leaf shows up for you in those moments when breaks are needed most but rarely taken. Sometimes you just need to take a moment to yourself, slow down and enjoy some Pure Leaf so you can reset and keep performing at your best.

[Matt Rogers]

Pure Leaf is available in a variety of flavors, including classic, sweetened and unsweetened, as well as new zero Sugar, sweet tea and the fan favorite favorite raspberry.

[Bowen Yang]

Bring yourself back with Pure Leaf, a real brewed naturally caffeinated iced tea to help you take on what's next. Time for a tea break. Time for a pure leaf.

[Matt Rogers]

This time of year always makes me rethink what's in my closet. BO I'm trying to keep fewer things but better ones. Pieces that are well made and easier to wear all the time. That's why I keep coming back to Quince. The fabrics feel elevated, the fits are thoughtful, and the pricing actually makes sense.

[Bowen Yang]

Quince makes high quality everyday essentials using premium material like 100% European linen and their insanely soft flow knit activewear fabric. Their men's linen pants and shirts are lightweight, breathable and comfortable. Basically the perfect layer for spring. The pants strike the right balance between laid back and refined so you look put together without trying too hard.

[Matt Rogers]

And their flow knit activewear, moisture wicking, anti odor and soft enough that you'll actually want to wear it all day.

[Bowen Yang]

The best part is that their prices are 50 to 60% less than similar brands. How Quince works directly with ethical factories and cuts out the middlemen. So you're paying for quality, not breaking brand markup. Everything is designed to last and makes getting dressed easy.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah, you know, anything from Quint is great, but I gotta say, I do love a cashmere sweater. I just like the way it drapes on my body. What can I say? Quince, I love the way you feel. Also, shout out to the linen pants. Shout out linen pants.

[Bowen Yang]

Refresh your wardrobe with quince. Go to quince.com culturistas for fee, free shipping and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada too. Go to q U-I-N-C-E.com culturistas for free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com culturistas okay, can we talk about

[Matt Rogers]

sleep for a second? Because once spring hits, I feel like everything resets. You're doing the whole spring cleaning thing, opening the windows, trying to refresh your space. And honestly, it makes you realize how important it is that your bed situation is also working for you.

[Bowen Yang]

Because a good night's sleep really sets you up for a good day. When I'm not sleeping well, I feel it immediately. I've had all the classic issues before waking up too hot, weird back pain feeling every single time someone else moves in the bed. If I'm lucky, motion transfer is real and it can ruin your night.

[Matt Rogers]

That's why I love Helix. They make it really easy to find the right mattress for you with their sleep quiz. You just answer a few questions about how you sleep, your preferences, your sleep style, and they match you with the perfect mattress. It takes all the guesswork out of buying one.

[Bowen Yang]

And Helix is actually the most awarded mattress brand tested and reviewed by experts like Forbes and Wyeth. So, you know, people who really understand this stuff are backing them up.

[Matt Rogers]

Another thing I love is how easy the whole process is. They ship the mattress straight to your door with free shipping in the US which is great because nobody wants the experience of trying to wrestle a mattress through a store and into a car.

[Bowen Yang]

Plus they've got what they call the happy With Helix guarantee. You get 120 night sleep trial and a limited time warranty. And if for some reason it's not the perfect fit, they make returns in exchanges. Really simple, simple. It's a completely risk free way to upgrade your sleep.

[Matt Rogers]

So if you're in that spring refresh mindset and thinking about improving your sleep setup, this is the time.

[Bowen Yang]

Go to helixleep.com lostculturistas for 20 off site wide. That's helixsleep.com lostculturistas no dashes for 20 off site wide. Make sure to enter our show name after checkout so they know we sent you. Helixleep.com Las Culturistas I mean, I'm just so busy.

[Blair Saki]

I do need to get back going because I have been seeing mediums this year.

[Matt Rogers]

What are they saying?

[Blair Saki]

You won't like it. I know, I didn't. This last one said that rj, my brother really wants me to meet the love of my life and get married and all this stuff. And I was like, excuse me. Like, you know, I. That's not really my focus.

[Bowen Yang]

Right.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah.

[Blair Saki]

And the medium kept hitting that and I was like, okay, I got it. Yeah. So I think that.

[Matt Rogers]

Did you cross reference mediums on this? Did you check?

[Blair Saki]

I did.

[Matt Rogers]

And he said the same thing.

[Blair Saki]

No, only about this was just this last one. So I cross referenced on a lot of other stuff. I really hadn't been seeing mediums until my brother died.

[Matt Rogers]

Right.

[Blair Saki]

And I will say this about it, it does make you feel better.

[Bowen Yang]

Okay, good.

[Blair Saki]

Like whether or not it's fully true, it's soothing.

[Matt Rogers]

Yes.

[Bowen Yang]

But except this one kept pushing this thing that RJ was saying.

[Blair Saki]

I know.

[Bowen Yang]

Which leads me to believe that it was wasn't rj.

[Blair Saki]

I know. Except for that he did say that when he was, he was so.

[Matt Rogers]

He, he was always riding hard for

[Blair Saki]

I told my mom that, and she's like, yeah, well, he always used to say that, so. And I was like, all right, you guys are on my ass.

[Matt Rogers]

So how many mediums?

[Blair Saki]

Four. Yeah, I mean, I wasn't looking for any predictions. I just wanted to talk to him. Yeah. I mean, I still talk to him all the time, but. Yeah, it's just so. It's such an odd experience.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah.

[Blair Saki]

Yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

And then. And then to even wrap your mind around horniness.

[Blair Saki]

Yeah. It's like when my friends are, like, talking to me about it, I'm like, yeah, totally. You know? Yeah. It kind of zaps it out of you. But I'm hoping to, you know, have a resurrection.

[Matt Rogers]

Do you find that New York is a baseline, hornier place? And so you come here and it's kind of like a little. Because I find that I do jack up a little bit once I'm here.

[Blair Saki]

I think that you're just more out here. But, like, I love the. And look, I mean, I know I am a pure California girl. Like, I love the sun. I love a pool party.

[Matt Rogers]

And don't. Don't even speak about the sand.

[Blair Saki]

I love the sand. My favorite thing, like, if I were to really have, like, a choice of a party day is a day party and then go to bed at seven.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah.

[Blair Saki]

Like, I love, like, a pool party. I love a beach day. About, like, all that stuff. I like. I like the cows.

[Bowen Yang]

You want the sun to suck you dry.

[Blair Saki]

I think that's, like, a very sexy.

[Bowen Yang]

Of course.

[Matt Rogers]

She's the best conversational hike, I'm sure ever in life.

[Blair Saki]

Give me a hike.

[Matt Rogers]

No, because can I say us, me, you and Greta going on our hikes sometimes. Featuring Abe, if we were lucky.

[Blair Saki]

Yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

Those are one of some of my favorite memories of me first moving to la. Like, just being like, oh, my God, we hike here.

[Blair Saki]

Now Greta doesn't like hiking anymore because

[Matt Rogers]

she's ripping it in the gym.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah, she doesn't need the hike.

[Matt Rogers]

She's so shredded.

[Blair Saki]

Yeah, she's like. She's like, he can do berry suit. And, you know, if it's too much, you can just do a floor.

[Matt Rogers]

If it's too much too much, you can just.

[Blair Saki]

Yeah. Cause I'm always like, I'm doing low cortisol shit. Bitch. Okay.

[Bowen Yang]

Right?

[Blair Saki]

I already did my, like, NCAA athlete life, like, life's behind me.

[Bowen Yang]

Totally. You've disciplined yourself already. Yeah, but she. She was telling me about going to some, like, chakra healer type of person. I'm sure she's like. She's Pushed this on you. Not that she's pushing, but I am like. I'm like, okay, yes, Greta, I will go. You are.

[Matt Rogers]

Your borders on pushing.

[Bowen Yang]

I'm. It's working on me is all.

[Matt Rogers]

She wants me to go to hot yoga more than anything. I'm like, that sounds.

[Bowen Yang]

Not for me. Not for me, but I will go.

[Blair Saki]

Yeah. I mean, like, the amount that she pursued, like, she did say. She's like, I. That was her New Year's resolution, and then she just went for it. And she is a workout girl. I was like, you should do, like, a workout video. It would be so fun.

[Matt Rogers]

Well, I said, she needs to bring Matcha back.

[Bowen Yang]

She needs to bring Matcha back.

[Blair Saki]

That was so fun. Always Pandemic. No.

[Bowen Yang]

You weren't a fan of the pandemic.

[Blair Saki]

Not a fan. I feel like it irrevocably. Irrevocably, you know, changed our. Everyone's brains. We're all, like, real freaky now.

[Matt Rogers]

You know what I'm now realizing? Blair on Summer House.

[Bowen Yang]

Blair on Summer House.

[Matt Rogers]

You would take off.

[Bowen Yang]

You love the sand. You love the sand.

[Matt Rogers]

Let me tell you something. I want to see you. I can beer beach.

[Blair Saki]

Oh, my God.

[Matt Rogers]

Oh, my God. Just you. Sunglasses on, like, laying out, like, at the beach. Just like, perm permit out in any condition.

[Blair Saki]

Skateboard.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah, skateboard. Oh, he wouldn't know what to do

[Blair Saki]

with skateboarders here now.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah.

[Blair Saki]

Yeah. Oh, you want to do a food review? I'll show you a food review. I like, toss it like bear. I like, toss him in the pool without even, like, just, like, the flick of a ring wrist. Yeah. Hey, little boy.

[Matt Rogers]

Honestly, up over your shoulder.

[Blair Saki]

Over my shoulder. I like. I destroy him in. In, like, flip cup and then just, like, bark in his face.

[Matt Rogers]

You know who'd never sing again? Jesse. He. If he. He sung. If I could meet a growl by the beach. Growl by the. If I could meet a growl by the beside, I would.

[Bowen Yang]

He's such a big. You're nailing it because he has such a big mouth.

[Blair Saki]

What is his real song?

[Matt Rogers]

It's like, I don't know his real song, but I guess I. Oh, yeah. Our producers are like, summer house superficial.

[Blair Saki]

Right, Jesse?

[Matt Rogers]

And we had guest requests for several of them, but I was like, I just don't want to take a side. That's how parasocial I am about it.

[Blair Saki]

I know. Well, I do go on podcasts all the time and forget that, like, a lot of people, I just feel like I'm.

[Bowen Yang]

Oh, we forget that all the time.

[Blair Saki]

Yeah. No, I'm sure. I'm sure it's much worse for you guys than me, but I mean like, you just feel like you're chatting with your friends and then all of a sudden. Excuse me, I heard what you. You know.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah, of course, of course. Well, we've never really been like confronted.

[Blair Saki]

Oh, you haven't?

[Matt Rogers]

Have we been confronted?

[Bowen Yang]

I've never been confronted.

[Matt Rogers]

Not been confronted.

[Blair Saki]

Right.

[Bowen Yang]

Step to this.

[Blair Saki]

Wes walks through the door.

[Matt Rogers]

Oh, I dare him to come here. Here.

[Blair Saki]

Yeah, I'll eat you and your trunks. Your sad little short trunks for breakfast.

[Matt Rogers]

Can I say though, it obviously gives incredible. And I'm not complimenting him. I'm just saying this is part of the indictment. It obviously is. Bomb dick. I think so. Otherwise I don't think both of these girls would be, you know, wrapped up in it. So.

[Blair Saki]

Yeah, but.

[Matt Rogers]

And Ciara was out here like a few weeks ago on Watch what happens live being like, yeah, I love Wes, but butt.

[Blair Saki]

Yeah, she said his ass, but that's because she hasn't seen the football player's ass. She's going to be like that ass. She like, this is going to be this seventh grade ass to tight end. Kidding me. Anyways, once we get that, once we roll in that NFL player, she's like, what's who? You know?

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah, they're going to be like, more like east north, south, east north. If I. And what's the real song?

[Bowen Yang]

We don't. We don't know.

[Matt Rogers]

Oh, you're a fan.

[Blair Saki]

Falling in love.

[Matt Rogers]

She had a clap going. She goes, I guess I'll start falling in love.

[Bowen Yang]

This has this. I will say this has like scarily polluted all of our feeds in a way. I know. And I'm like, wait, this is sticking. This is a little too sticky.

[Blair Saki]

I just don't think. I'm sorry. I'm still stuck on the dick being bomb. Here's the thing. I can't. I can't go past this. I do feel like it's the. It's just the classic thing of intermittent reinforcement. Like as Dara said, you know, he's the best boyfriend until he's your boyfriend. And so when they never know what's going to happen, it's the uncertainty that keeps them kind of going back for more in the. But I think if there's any certainty. Nobody's staying there, baby. I think that Kyle and Amanda will be back together by the reunion.

[Bowen Yang]

Wow.

[Matt Rogers]

By the reunion.

[Bowen Yang]

You're fucking out of your mind.

[Blair Saki]

Maybe not publicly.

[Matt Rogers]

Maybe not publicly. Maybe not publicly.

[Bowen Yang]

Well, you're right. You're right. Like, like, who's to say?

[Blair Saki]

Because. And then it comes out like every also every clip. I can't believe we're still talking about something.

[Matt Rogers]

He was. He was there for her right away.

[Blair Saki]

Yeah. And it was immediately. And then. And then west it comes out. Has had like, there's a girl. The horsehair tie girl. Like, yeah. He was my full boyfriend. Like, while this is going on, like multiple girls.

[Matt Rogers]

Wait, the girl that he got the horsehair tie from.

[Blair Saki]

Yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

Said that that was my boyfriend.

[Blair Saki]

She's showing tiktoks. Yeah.

[Bowen Yang]

That's atrocious.

[Blair Saki]

Yeah. So. And then all of a sudden, girls are like, oh, yeah. I just hooked up with him like, you know, a couple weeks ago and

[Matt Rogers]

she and Sierra had allegedly hooked up with him like three weeks before they.

[Blair Saki]

I pray that's not true.

[Matt Rogers]

I hope not.

[Blair Saki]

I pray that's not true. Cause that is one of the most diabolical. I mean, like, aside from what's actually already happening. I mean, I don't know how he could do that. I. I don't believe that's true.

[Matt Rogers]

What are the things in culture besides summer house you want to talk about? Cause I know you're just burning up with some folks.

[Blair Saki]

What am I burning up on? Topics. Yeah. I recently Zara Larson has come into my awareness.

[Bowen Yang]

Great.

[Matt Rogers]

Never ending midnight sun. You're kind of her coded.

[Blair Saki]

Thank you. I really appreciate that. The way that she shakes her ass. Yeah. Is incredible because we've been needing more of that.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah.

[Blair Saki]

We. Oh, we haven't had it for a while.

[Bowen Yang]

Like she's the daughter. She is the daughter of like Shakira and Beyonce. Absolutely everybody.

[Blair Saki]

And like, you know, Megan, the science has been really like keeping the ass shaking going for us and she's needed a few more to come into the ether and so I'm really liking what I'm seeing on the TikTok. Like when I'm scrolling after I take my night gummy and then I'm on there and I'm locked in and I'm seeing. And then I like. And then 100 more Tsar Larsons.

[Bowen Yang]

Does it inspire you to. Does it inspire you to shake ass?

[Blair Saki]

Yes. I actually went to a dance class recently that was really fun and it was like a girls drinking one as well.

[Matt Rogers]

So girls. Girls get crunk and throw ass.

[Blair Saki]

I love this. And I had the time of my life.

[Matt Rogers]

Where and when?

[Blair Saki]

Well, it was a girl. Put it on a private one. But I have been you clutching the

[Matt Rogers]

I heart thing with both hands saying this.

[Blair Saki]

It's just this girl I got invited by a friend of a friend because that was one of my things is that this year I want to do like pursue fun more with things that don't have a means to an end since like I'm always touring and. And all that stuff. And I would just do dance classes I did as a kid. So fun. The drinking was even more fun with it.

[Bowen Yang]

Love.

[Blair Saki]

Yeah.

[Bowen Yang]

Not dangerous. There wasn't an element.

[Blair Saki]

Some girls were wearing heels and I decided, I decided I brought the heels and I was like, no, I want to get too nasty.

[Bowen Yang]

Right.

[Matt Rogers]

What were you drinking?

[Blair Saki]

Vuv. It was pretty lighted.

[Matt Rogers]

Okay.

[Bowen Yang]

So it was like bubbles and bubbles and ash again. Bubbles and booty.

[Blair Saki]

There was some pre game drinks as well. Oh, last night I had a five to six sapphire spritzes. But they're real life.

[Bowen Yang]

Delicious. Delicious.

[Matt Rogers]

It feels like karaoke night with Rosebud.

[Blair Saki]

Yeah. And you know a thing that I find shocking about the the New York is like everyone was sober.

[Bowen Yang]

A lot of sobriety.

[Blair Saki]

I am not a big drinker. Like, I don't even drink very often. Like I, I was just like, oh, I'm exhausted. I gotta pick it up to get with all these singers, you know?

[Bowen Yang]

Right.

[Blair Saki]

And they're all sober doing that.

[Matt Rogers]

You know, I will say the thing about karaoke is sometimes it benefits to not be totally fucked up. Because when you're totally fucked up, you pick songs that are more ambitious and then you're screaming because you also don't have an awareness of your volume when you're a little bit drunk. So when you get wasted and do karaoke, that's when you wake up in the morning with a voice from like hell.

[Blair Saki]

I think that a lot of listeners would will take that little snippet of wisdom and hold it with them for a long time.

[Matt Rogers]

That's public domain.

[Blair Saki]

It is. But that was a reminder that they didn't know they need to be refreshed on. And look, if you can believe it, you're not finding me at karaoke maybe ever. I'm like, I'm in front of the microphone enough. I don't need two. But a lot of other people.

[Matt Rogers]

Have you ever done I Try by Macy Gray?

[Blair Saki]

No. No. You know, one person did suggest Bondi Heart of Glass and it strangely worked perfectly.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah. Because you're, you're, you're up at the falsetto.

[Matt Rogers]

I love that.

[Bowen Yang]

Or the head voice.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah.

[Blair Saki]

But what I really would like to sing is like Jin Blossom's Hate Jealousy. But I don't have that.

[Matt Rogers]

I don't know that one.

[Bowen Yang]

I don't know that one.

[Blair Saki]

Oh, my God.

[Matt Rogers]

Can you sing it?

[Blair Saki]

No, I can't. That was a trick. You just tried to trick me. You guys are actual vocalists?

[Bowen Yang]

No, not me.

[Blair Saki]

No, I don't do karaoke ever. And I never have because, you know.

[Bowen Yang]

Well, then it felt like last night was such a rarity. I would have loved to have been there.

[Matt Rogers]

I've done. I don't think so, honey. Karaoke.

[Blair Saki]

I wish you guys would have. I just like, assume you guys are at like, I don't know.

[Matt Rogers]

Where do you assume we are?

[Blair Saki]

Stephanie Germanata's house.

[Matt Rogers]

That's why we don't get invited anywhere. Because they think we're at Lady Gaga's house. Meanwhile, she don't text us.

[Blair Saki]

I.

[Matt Rogers]

You are our Gaga.

[Blair Saki]

I just went and saw her.

[Bowen Yang]

Oh, my God. What'd you think?

[Blair Saki]

Third row with my mom. Lost my mind.

[Bowen Yang]

Oh, my God.

[Matt Rogers]

How fun is that?

[Blair Saki]

It was incredible. It was unbelievable. I mean, what a performer.

[Bowen Yang]

Fuck.

[Blair Saki]

She's like. She's just my all time number one.

[Matt Rogers]

See you later, Gwen.

[Blair Saki]

I really.

[Bowen Yang]

Well, there's. There was a time when Gwen's too

[Blair Saki]

busy freaking praying to do anything cool. And look, I love to pray, but not on money sanctioned apps. Well involved in weird shit. Go back to don't speak.

[Bowen Yang]

Go back to don't speak.

[Matt Rogers]

Go back to don't speak.

[Bowen Yang]

You know another reason why you don't have to qualify? Red. Because Gaga has done it for us.

[Blair Saki]

Oh, really?

[Bowen Yang]

Mayhem.

[Blair Saki]

Oh, yes, mother Mayhem. Thank God.

[Bowen Yang]

Lady in red.

[Blair Saki]

Yeah, you know what? We had red before you, bitch.

[Matt Rogers]

Okay, she's saying that to Trump. Not you, Steph, not you stuff. We'll text you later.

[Bowen Yang]

Have you always been a winker?

[Blair Saki]

Oh, yeah, I love to wink.

[Bowen Yang]

You're fair to wink to me.

[Blair Saki]

It's the best. I love when anyone winks at me. Me. You know, like I used to think about as like a kid, like when an adult and you're just like, oh, they have like a special little twinkle secret. You know, like there's just no better feeling than someone winking at you. Or like an old man who like says you're. They're like, oh, you're so beautiful. Like you know, an 80 year old man. And then they wink it and you're just like, oh. And then. Or they like, you know, give you something for free at the coffee shop or something and they wink at you. It's so cute. I love it.

[Matt Rogers]

I love, I love a wink too.

[Bowen Yang]

I love that you guys are not. Have not been just have not been icked over a wink in their life.

[Blair Saki]

Well, it all does matter who the.

[Bowen Yang]

Of course.

[Blair Saki]

Of course it was. You know, once in a while you get a. Disgusting.

[Matt Rogers]

Well, it's crazy the way men look at women on the street.

[Bowen Yang]

Of course. I'm just. I have wink envy, and I think it's just not anything that Asian people do.

[Matt Rogers]

Show us.

[Blair Saki]

I loved it.

[Matt Rogers]

Well, you did it with the wrong eye. The wrong eye because I couldn't see that one. You're on. I couldn't see it.

[Blair Saki]

No. Horniness is over. Okay. Okay. To come here. I got that subtle, subtle, subtle bow and wink. And I felt a stir in my pinstripe trousers.

[Bowen Yang]

They're gorgeous, by the way.

[Matt Rogers]

They really are cute.

[Blair Saki]

The wink was this.

[Matt Rogers]

Was this online shopping.

[Blair Saki]

It all.

[Matt Rogers]

Is it all.

[Blair Saki]

It all is like, here's my thing. And I've always been like this. I do love clothes, but I don't love to shop. I think my mother raised me that, like, we were like, I'll go in one inch. Done. Like, when I first came upon girlhood, where they wanted to go shopping for, like, four hours and, like, ask each other's opinion, like, I never need anyone else's opinion. I know what I like immediately.

[Bowen Yang]

Right?

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah.

[Blair Saki]

I don't like to stand in the store, but, yeah, I love online shopping. I got all the apps. It's, like, such a problem. Yeah, yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

Do you go on the real real?

[Blair Saki]

Yes.

[Matt Rogers]

Love the real.

[Blair Saki]

Oh, no, that is a. It's just the best thing in the world.

[Matt Rogers]

You get some iconic because you can

[Blair Saki]

get shit no one else has.

[Matt Rogers]

Right?

[Blair Saki]

Yeah, it's incredible.

[Bowen Yang]

Would you do real. Real brick and mortar? No. Do you?

[Blair Saki]

There's no point. No, I like. No, no, no.

[Matt Rogers]

Because then she'd have to be out in the shop. She wants to be home.

[Blair Saki]

Yeah, no, I want to be home. I want to be at the pool party. I want to be at Zara Larson's, you know? Yeah, I'm not trying to be at the shop. I like to have the items that were procured from the shop, just from my phone.

[Matt Rogers]

Did you do the rite of passage that is California girl at Coachella? Oh, yeah, years ago.

[Blair Saki]

Yeah, years ago. And, you know, it happens much earlier when you're a native California person.

[Matt Rogers]

Right. So what are we talking?

[Blair Saki]

Like, I did it for, like, my early TW and so what was that?

[Matt Rogers]

Like, Arcade Fire?

[Bowen Yang]

What are you.

[Matt Rogers]

What?

[Blair Saki]

Look, if you are trying to get me to disclose my age on Matt Bowen and Stephanie German on his podcast, you are really something, because just who were the headliners?

[Matt Rogers]

Cuz back then it was like. Arcade Fire.

[Blair Saki]

Yeah. No, no, one of them. One of the times. And look, someone's going to look this up immediately. Whatever. But it was like. Like I saw Robin for the first time. Like she was in the headliner, but I lost my mind. It was so much fun. The Sahara time was really big. Crystal Castles.

[Bowen Yang]

Oh, I guess. Yeah.

[Blair Saki]

What's it called? What else? TV on the radio was like headlining the Paul McCartney. Paul McCartney headlining.

[Matt Rogers]

Oh, cool.

[Blair Saki]

But it was like. We were all like. It was poor at the. I was like 22, 23. Sang in like these condos with like 20 people that are all just like out of their minds.

[Matt Rogers]

Fifteen people.

[Blair Saki]

Yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

Wow. Robin. I just like. And Robin had.

[Blair Saki]

Seeing Robin is. There's nothing like it. Like it. It's just incredible. Have you seen her live?

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah.

[Blair Saki]

Oh, yeah. I mean, I don't know who. Who. I don't know who. I think I'm asking.

[Matt Rogers]

She sat in that chair

[Blair Saki]

again. I. I agreed to come back after. You know, I saw.

[Matt Rogers]

You saw Jennifer Lawrence, I saw some

[Blair Saki]

of my colleagues here, and I said, sure, boys, I'll swing by.

[Matt Rogers]

Swing by, swing by. We need you.

[Bowen Yang]

Thank God for you. Thank God you're here.

[Blair Saki]

Thank God for you guys, like, just absolutely taking over media. I'm so proud of you.

[Matt Rogers]

Wait, hold on. I'm getting breaking news. Oh, my God.

[Bowen Yang]

Oh, no.

[Matt Rogers]

Jesse Solomon at the Sahara tent. You're coming. I met a girl by Sahara.

[Blair Saki]

I don't know.

[Matt Rogers]

D.J. cook.

[Bowen Yang]

D.J. kyle Cook, who actually.

[Blair Saki]

Probably will actually be in this era.

[Matt Rogers]

No, I'm sure he's doing, like, what we.

[Bowen Yang]

An active. A Red Bull activation.

[Matt Rogers]

A couple years ago, we. A couple years ago we were there and it was DJ set by DJ James Kennedy at. What's it called?

[Blair Saki]

Blast from the Past. That name is. Huh.

[Bowen Yang]

It does have so many scandal contours to it. Is D.J. involved? Yeah. Yeah.

[Blair Saki]

Haven't heard that name in a blue moon. Huh?

[Matt Rogers]

Well, he's healing. He claim to be healing now.

[Blair Saki]

Yeah. Couldn't really hear his name over the planes flying over his house. Huh?

[Bowen Yang]

What's that about?

[Matt Rogers]

That is such a pull from, like, three years ago. Vanderpoel. You go, girl. I've never meant it more. You go, girl.

[Blair Saki]

Look, look. Real estate's expensive in Los Angeles, okay? Even for a dj. Sometimes you land under an airstrip. What are you gonna do?

[Matt Rogers]

I know he had a house that was right under Elliot.

[Bowen Yang]

That's right. That's right.

[Matt Rogers]

Like, the flight plans were not kind to us.

[Blair Saki]

Yeah, and Schwartz somehow inched his way back on the Valley, huh? Some people, some things, they just lala too.

[Matt Rogers]

Where are you standing on Lala? Kent mix. Kent.

[Blair Saki]

Are you kidding me?

[Bowen Yang]

You love her.

[Blair Saki]

No.

[Bowen Yang]

Oh, no.

[Blair Saki]

She turned. She turned on all us girls. How are you going to ride so hard as the face of the Ariana Defender Movement? Make $100,000 on merch, send it to Darryl, bitch, and you turn on her ass at the end. I will never forget her.

[Bowen Yang]

Turned on Ari.

[Blair Saki]

Are you kidding me?

[Bowen Yang]

Oh, I'm not keeping up. See, I fully disengaged from the Valley. The Vanderpump girls.

[Blair Saki]

You have mental health. You have mental health and a good spiritual probably aura for you.

[Bowen Yang]

The rest of us, it was bad for my chi. I was like, I'm watching the darkest.

[Blair Saki]

No, we all went straight to hell with them.

[Matt Rogers]

Oh, our favorite was when one of the darkest episodes of the Valley was the lead in for the culture awards last year. We were like, oh, great, we have liftoff. Kind of kinda like. It was like just the worst vibes on the Valley. Just like Jackson, Brittany in the gutter. And then it was like, now the cultural wars. And I was like. And I saw, I asked the other. I'm like, what's our lead in this year? Yeah, I was like, I'm just curious.

[Blair Saki]

Good question.

[Matt Rogers]

So that it's not like the equivalent of a funeral on the Valley?

[Blair Saki]

Yeah, well, hopefully it won't be.

[Matt Rogers]

You know, it's on a Wednesday, so we'll find out.

[Blair Saki]

Safe from the. Any new summer house breaking news, which could happen any goddamn second.

[Matt Rogers]

We might have to re record before this comes out.

[Blair Saki]

No, the Valley is like, I had to stop. I was like, no, I feel like I'm being privy. I, I feel like I'm in a. A child locked in a home of domestic violence. You know, sorry, Andy, if you're watching

[Matt Rogers]

this, I mean, he doesn't, he doesn't have much to do with the Valley. He's the housewives.

[Blair Saki]

Okay, good.

[Matt Rogers]

Like he takes the housewives personally. He doesn't.

[Blair Saki]

Yeah, I, I, you know, I'll just say this and look, not everyone's for everyone. And I think that that is part of culture, and I think that is part of culture.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah.

[Blair Saki]

And the Valley. Not for me.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah. It stopped being for me as well.

[Blair Saki]

And they've let some people on that, you know.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah. That you weren't forgiving.

[Blair Saki]

How many times do I have to forgive? Okay. You only get a certain number of passes, which is something I don't think you girls are really Keeping up with.

[Bowen Yang]

Sure. Yeah. I need to sit down with the Valley. Is it called Persian style?

[Blair Saki]

I haven't got.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah, I feel like the Valley, Persian style.

[Blair Saki]

I haven't watched it. I have seen it come across my peacock.

[Matt Rogers]

It's got Reza. Right?

[Bowen Yang]

That's like Reza. Yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

That's like why it exists.

[Blair Saki]

Oh, gee. Yeah, yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

So they can sort of keep Reza. Keep Reza's name afloat.

[Blair Saki]

Afloat.

[Bowen Yang]

Which I'm grateful for. Which I am.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah. I mean, absolutely.

[Blair Saki]

Is he still slanging listings? Huh?

[Bowen Yang]

He's still slanging what?

[Matt Rogers]

Listings.

[Blair Saki]

Listings.

[Bowen Yang]

Listings. I don't know.

[Matt Rogers]

Not like Ryan Scott.

[Bowen Yang]

Sir Hunt.

[Blair Saki]

Wow. Yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

My number one crush. I am obsessed with Ryan Sirhan.

[Blair Saki]

Look, I, I.

[Matt Rogers]

Why is your. Why do you chafe?

[Blair Saki]

Look, okay, I can't say that I understand this.

[Bowen Yang]

This is a straight guy that he wants to. To. To fuck.

[Blair Saki]

I know. And look, I can't say I understand this specific man, Ryan, and your sexual attraction to him. But I can say that I don't know if you guys remember that I famously. I was a misguided woman. I had just, you know, experienced a pandemic and I had a moment. And I'll be very vulnerable with you.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah.

[Blair Saki]

As all those who have come before me in this journey chair, that I did have a moment, a season or two where I was attracted to the Oppenheim twins.

[Matt Rogers]

Oh, the. You mean.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah, the Winklevoss. The Oppenheim.

[Matt Rogers]

Oh, no, no, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. You meant the.

[Bowen Yang]

You meant the selling Sunset twins. Yes. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

[Blair Saki]

I said. I said the exact opposite of the opposite.

[Matt Rogers]

How much smarter he is than us. No, no, no, no. You must be talking about tech giants. The Winklevies. So sorry.

[Bowen Yang]

No, no, no.

[Matt Rogers]

Right here about Jason and the other one. Oh, no, no, no.

[Bowen Yang]

I totally, totally, totally.

[Blair Saki]

You know what I like. You know what I do love?

[Bowen Yang]

I don't mean to chafe it by

[Blair Saki]

a confident bald man. Yeah, like a sh. Like a self shaved bald ass confident man.

[Bowen Yang]

I love a bald guy.

[Blair Saki]

He reads powerful to me.

[Bowen Yang]

I love a bald guy.

[Blair Saki]

And I. A lot of people were concerned for me.

[Matt Rogers]

Also. Short, Short King can be very powerful.

[Blair Saki]

I don't mind a short guy, which shocks a lot of people coming from the athlete world.

[Matt Rogers]

Well, you know, all I'm going to say is one time I had a short. King Berry's trainer hopped on Grindr afterwards, found the shortest guy I could find.

[Bowen Yang]

Oh, he inspired you.

[Matt Rogers]

Him.

[Blair Saki]

And it was.

[Bowen Yang]

It wasn't him.

[Matt Rogers]

It was great.

[Bowen Yang]

It Wasn't. It wasn't the trainer.

[Matt Rogers]

No, it wasn't. It wasn't him.

[Blair Saki]

Well, a lot of the hottest guys are short, cuz you can't have everything, you know?

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah, well, I'm just saying, like, it's

[Blair Saki]

as Nikki Glazer styles a lot.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. She short kings.

[Blair Saki]

No, she has a shorter boyfriend special. She talks about it a lot. That she was like, you know, basically the way to get a really hot guy is to date a short.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

Because they. They are beautiful men. Those shorts.

[Blair Saki]

Yeah, I like the shorts.

[Matt Rogers]

Sometimes YouTube shorts, shorts.

[Blair Saki]

If they're not like so angry, you know, for.

[Matt Rogers]

About being short. Yeah, they.

[Bowen Yang]

They really are. And I want to tell them it's okay.

[Matt Rogers]

I was like, you're hot.

[Blair Saki]

No, we support you. Like the tides have changed. Like, this is. That was back on yesteryear.

[Bowen Yang]

But how. But how much of their identity is so gripped around this chip on their shoulder about their height? I'm like, bro, it's fine.

[Matt Rogers]

Well, this reminds me of the twist in the Materialist, which. I haven't been able to sleep since I watched it.

[Bowen Yang]

I don't think we should talk about it.

[Matt Rogers]

I haven't been able to. You don't think we should talk about it?

[Bowen Yang]

Let's talk about it.

[Matt Rogers]

I couldn't believe they went there. Within the materialists. The reveal that. Spoiler alert for the materialists.

[Bowen Yang]

Haven't seen it.

[Matt Rogers]

Five, four, three, two, one. Spoilertown. Okay. They're revealed that like, Pedro Pascal had the surgery that makes you six inches taller.

[Blair Saki]

Right.

[Matt Rogers]

And that's why he has like big swang and dick and like can fuck Dakota Johnson.

[Blair Saki]

Yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

Is this just a surgery that people are having? Oh, yeah.

[Bowen Yang]

You haven't read. There's a whole. My. I first heard about it through and it's part. Now it's being.

[Blair Saki]

I thought it was a joke.

[Bowen Yang]

It's being sucked into like, looks maxing culture. But it's like. It's like you go to. Not Turkey, but they're just places where they basically break your femur in half and install a metal rod.

[Matt Rogers]

I just. It's the craziest. I think we need to go there.

[Blair Saki]

No, that's insane. And to make Pedro Pascal have to have some sort of, you know, sensational fake ass twist like that to make it.

[Matt Rogers]

And the way it was in the movie too, it was just like she sort of like pulls over a cover and like sees his legs and knows immediately he's had the surgery and he sort of like sulks away to the kitchen and they have like a quiet conversation about it. I'm like what?

[Blair Saki]

It was so funny having Chris. Chris which. Which is the Chris Evans Chris Evans. Which of the Chris's Evans be like I'm poor.

[Matt Rogers]

And you know, he was comically like he was like I can barely open my drawers. He was so poor. His window was. Every window in his house was cracked.

[Blair Saki]

I will say I have such like a. I'm very drawn to Dakota Johnson. Like I am entranced by her.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah.

[Blair Saki]

Like I. I think she has a fabulous personality. She has some je ne sais quoi to her.

[Bowen Yang]

She has that.

[Blair Saki]

I am entranced by Dakota Johnson.

[Bowen Yang]

Absolutely.

[Blair Saki]

Yeah.

[Bowen Yang]

I think you two should not throw stones at people who are born with short legs. Fictional or real gorgeous long legged people.

[Matt Rogers]

I was in doing stones. I just said fuck you anyway, King, you're throwing stones.

[Blair Saki]

I'm saying I've dated some shorties and not for a short amount of time. Time.

[Matt Rogers]

Was that a joke?

[Blair Saki]

It was not. It was accidental. Like I wouldn't choose that on purpose.

[Matt Rogers]

We got to move on, so I don't think we got to move on after that.

[Blair Saki]

Anyway, short people, you're fine.

[Matt Rogers]

Okay.

[Bowen Yang]

Imagine never buying gas again. EVs are as easy to charge as your phone and perfect for everyday life.

[Matt Rogers]

Drive daily with confidence everywhere you go. Most Americans drive 40 miles a day. Do you know that most EVs are equipped with 200 to 400 miles of range?

[Bowen Yang]

Here's the thing. They've got fewer parts, fewer repairs and fewer headaches.

[Matt Rogers]

With hundreds of new and used EV models available today, there's an EV to fit every lifestyle and every budget. The way forward is electric. Learn [e-mail] when the afternoon slump hits, everything feels like an uphill battle.

[Bowen Yang]

Pure Leaf shows up for you in those moments when breaks are needed most but rarely taken. Sometimes you just need to take a moment to yourself, slow down and enjoy some Pure leaf so you can reset and keep performing at your best.

[Matt Rogers]

Pure Leaf is available in a variety of flavors including classic, sweetened and unsweetened, as well as new zero sugar sweet tea and the fan favorite raspberry.

[Bowen Yang]

Bring yourself back with Pure Leaf, a real brewed naturally caffeinated iced tea to help you take on what's next. Time for a tea break. Time for a Pure Leaf on ebay,

[Matt Rogers]

every find has a strong story.

[Bowen Yang]

Like if you're looking for a vintage band te, not just a t. The

[Matt Rogers]

band tea from the last show your favorite band ever played.

[Bowen Yang]

He wore it everywhere. Then your boyfriend started wearing it which

[Matt Rogers]

was cute until he dumped you and took it with him.

[Bowen Yang]

Which was not so cute.

[Matt Rogers]

But he was. I miss him. Anyway, now you're on ebay.

[Bowen Yang]

And there it is. Same tea from the same tour, still living in your memory rent free forever.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah, screw you, Dave.

[Bowen Yang]

The things you love have a way of finding their way back to you.

[Matt Rogers]

Except Dave.

[Bowen Yang]

But ebay isn't just forgetting whatever your ex ex BFF stole back.

[Matt Rogers]

We miss you. It's also for that rare championship foul ball that you caught, then heroically gave to the kid next to you. You're welcome. Scoot.

[Bowen Yang]

And where else are you gonna find your first car? A RAV4 from 2003.

[Matt Rogers]

The one you wish you never sold, but now finally got the chance to take back home.

[Bowen Yang]

I'm buying a car on ebay. For good this time.

[Matt Rogers]

Shop ebay for millions of dollars. Finds each with a story. EBay. Things people love.

[Bowen Yang]

That's a good tagline. All right, everybody. We need to discuss a vacation that's not just a vacation, it's a statement.

[Matt Rogers]

Virgin voyages. Adults only. Yes. A child free sanctuary at sea. It's giving serenity. It's giving sexy European summer. It's giving. I deserve this.

[Bowen Yang]

They're sailing the Caribbean and the Med, obviously. But now they've added nyc, the west coast and Alaska. So whether you want golden hour off California or full cinematic glacier core main character energy. They said red range.

[Matt Rogers]

And the awards? At this point, it's less award winning cruise line and more. Do we just engrave their name on the trophy already? They've won so many travel awards, the ships might sweep our culture.

[Bowen Yang]

Awards over 20 eateries, epic entertainment, fitness classes, Wi Fi, all included. Luxury without the nickel.

[Matt Rogers]

And diming virgin voyages.

[Bowen Yang]

Sailors, consider yourselves called.

[Matt Rogers]

It's time for I don't think so, honey. If you can believe this is where

[Bowen Yang]

we take one minute to. Really?

[Blair Saki]

I was on the very first one.

[Matt Rogers]

You were on the very first? I don't think so, honey. Live.

[Bowen Yang]

What a time.

[Blair Saki]

What's that place?

[Bowen Yang]

Littlefield.

[Matt Rogers]

Littlefield? Yeah.

[Blair Saki]

Whoa. I really pulled that from my asshole.

[Matt Rogers]

We did two Littlefields and then we did a whole bunch of bell houses.

[Bowen Yang]

Bell Houses.

[Matt Rogers]

Who knows? Maybe one day we'll return.

[Bowen Yang]

Maybe.

[Matt Rogers]

I am gonna go back to the house for this one because I don't think so, honey.

[Bowen Yang]

The house.

[Matt Rogers]

This is House of Summer.

[Bowen Yang]

Oh, I see. This is Matt Rogers. I don't think so honey's time starts now.

[Matt Rogers]

I don't think so, honey. That Carl and Lindsay are done. I think. Get back in the saddle. Get Back in the sack. See what happens. See what? See what's developed with a little bit of tension. You're in support of this. I gotta say, all the most charming interactions this season have been between Carl and Lindsay. I love Carl's housewarming gift to her. He walked over and awkwardly was like, hello, Lindsay, you have a really nice home and I got you this for your housewarming. And she's like, okay, cool, thanks. Like, I kind of think, like, they're operating on a level that we need to explore again.

[Bowen Yang]

30 seconds.

[Matt Rogers]

I think we needed to get through. Like, Lindsay. Now she has, you know, her darling child. Like, we don't have to saddle Carl with that. He's gotten through what he's gotten through. He has his baby, the sober bar. You know what I mean? We're up and running. We now know what's really important. After the west and Amanda and Sierra and Kyle of it all, we can, like, now see the forest for the trees. I'm just saying we did a T mobile thing with Lindsay. We loved her. We're charmed by her.

[Bowen Yang]

Very sweet.

[Matt Rogers]

And Carl seems like a gentle guy.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

And I think we're. Let's revisit it.

[Bowen Yang]

And that's one minute maybe we love Carl.

[Matt Rogers]

We love him. But I don't know how behind that I am. But it's definitely my. I don't think so. Honey.

[Blair Saki]

That was so funny.

[Matt Rogers]

And you fist pumped like a. Like a brother.

[Blair Saki]

Like a brother.

[Matt Rogers]

Like a brother. So you agree?

[Blair Saki]

I just think it's so fun how he's like approaching her now. Like, they're sort of using this as

[Matt Rogers]

very afraid of her.

[Blair Saki]

A bridge. And then every single time she's like, well, I guess you're, like, not that poor anymore. Like, she said, like, slightly, like, less mean things than she did before. Like, each one is just like a slightly less mean insult. Like, she's. It's getting nicer and nicer and nicer.

[Matt Rogers]

Are you pro Lindsay culture?

[Blair Saki]

Lindsay is a necessary fixture in reality tv.

[Bowen Yang]

I think so. I think she's so important.

[Blair Saki]

She is a reality TV God.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah. 100%.

[Blair Saki]

Yeah. She's a reality TV legend and we need her on our screens. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Bowen Yang]

I think he's. I like a mama's boy. I think he's quite winning to me and a lot of people. Well, I don't want to.

[Matt Rogers]

I think you should date him.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

No, I think you and Carl would be good.

[Bowen Yang]

Carl is so sweet. No, I have no interest in him romantically or sexually.

[Matt Rogers]

Well, you've not met him yet. In the words of Jesse Simon doing a cover, you just haven't met him yet. That's from my biggest inspiration, Michael Buble. I don't mean to pick on him.

[Bowen Yang]

No, I'm picking on everyone.

[Blair Saki]

If there's anyone that I'm comfortable picking on, it is Jesse Solomon.

[Matt Rogers]

I do want to say this. If this season ends with like Jesse and Sierra fucking, I'm going to be really upset.

[Blair Saki]

No, not to bring this up, but sorry. It just did get brought up. Like the fact that Wes had the nuts to have an entire episode about. About Jesse moving weird for bringing up possibly making out with Sierra. He's like, yeah, I just think that would be weird since she and I dated and he's full on. Dating a man. Like that was a full episode this season.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah.

[Blair Saki]

Wasn't very long ago.

[Matt Rogers]

Moving weird. Give me a break.

[Blair Saki]

No, I just think people would say like that you're moving weird, you know. No, I'm not saying that. I just think like other people would say that, like since she and I

[Matt Rogers]

dated that you're categorically moving weird. You're moving weird. Okay, Bowen Young, are you ready for your. I don't think so, honey.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah, I knew it. All right. I don't really have one.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah, but these are always your best.

[Bowen Yang]

No, not true. Okay, this.

[Matt Rogers]

This is Bowen Yang's. I don't think so, honey. As time starts now.

[Bowen Yang]

I don't think so, honey. Any vibe? Celsius. I don't think we're being honest about what they're even trying to give. I don't understand arctic. I don't understand tropical. We're just naming parts of the world. There are no flav associated with these parts of the world. Maybe with tropical, but Arctic. What's the flavor profile? It is what? Name it. Name it.

[Matt Rogers]

Sparkling frozen berry.

[Bowen Yang]

Nope. What is frozen berry? What is frozen berry? I want my fruit. I think 30 seconds. Celsius. Let's not too, let's not fly too close to the sun. Stick to the fruit. I think Celsius is worried that the whole. That it's too much for chicks. But I think that is the beauty and power of Celsius is that. That it's all fruit based flavors.

[Matt Rogers]

15 seconds.

[Bowen Yang]

I think anytime they veer off and go to cola, if they go to vibes, I think that's when we start to. That's when we're. We start to manipulate science a little too much and we start to disturb the natural order of things and what flavors we are used to. Imbibing and that's one minute.

[Matt Rogers]

I. What did I say? Those are always your best.

[Bowen Yang]

No, that's.

[Blair Saki]

I am 100% with you, Bowen. I do not understand the Vibe series. They're not flavors. They're EDM music.

[Bowen Yang]

I do mean they're EDM music. And I'm telling my wonderful assistant Michelle now. I'm like, just get any. She's like, what are your Celsius flavors? I was like, anything except the vibes. I don't care. I'm so easy. It's not that I'm difficult. I just don't want the vibes.

[Blair Saki]

The vibe. Celsius vibes are not flavors. They're abstract concepts.

[Matt Rogers]

Yes.

[Bowen Yang]

And I don't want that.

[Matt Rogers]

I do want to show you something that's gonna make you shake and shiver. Can I have your glass?

[Blair Saki]

No. I did this recently.

[Matt Rogers]

This is actually crazy.

[Bowen Yang]

Guess what color this is.

[Blair Saki]

So this is Arctic Kiss yellow.

[Matt Rogers]

This is Arctic Vibe. You knew that's what that flavor I like.

[Blair Saki]

No, this just happened.

[Matt Rogers]

I don't have the same problems as Bowen until.

[Blair Saki]

You never want to see it outside of the can.

[Matt Rogers]

You can't.

[Bowen Yang]

No.

[Matt Rogers]

I will say there's something really wrong.

[Blair Saki]

That's the. That's the radioactive. That turned the Turtles into Teenage Mutant.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah, totally. That's my only thing about you being, like, really in the Celsius is that this is.

[Bowen Yang]

This is.

[Matt Rogers]

That's not a color that needs to be in your body.

[Blair Saki]

No. That's not a color that the human eye is meant to. To witness.

[Bowen Yang]

This is my. This is my thing. I.

[Matt Rogers]

And it tastes less like Arctic Vibe outside of the camp.

[Bowen Yang]

Exactly. Exactly.

[Blair Saki]

That's how that was when. That's Alex Mack in a cup.

[Bowen Yang]

It's Alex mack. It's very 80. It's very. Yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

Like, it's Alex on a. On a powerless day. It's Alex Mack turned into her superhero form on a. On a really hot, humid day and melted like a motherfucker with.

[Blair Saki]

With all the viscosity. Left the building.

[Matt Rogers]

Yes, honey, viscosity down. Not the wing.

[Bowen Yang]

Oh, you're really good at it.

[Matt Rogers]

You're really good at it now. My pussy's so tingly. Okay. Yeah. So I guess I'm on board with you. There it is. If I'm gonna drink a Celsius, though, like, Arctic Vibe is my flavor.

[Bowen Yang]

So what are you saying?

[Blair Saki]

He loves edm.

[Matt Rogers]

I'm just saying, like, it has to be cold and in the can, and then I can abide it. Once you do this, it's a bridge, too. Far. And now I have to put it down.

[Blair Saki]

Actually, I cannot. I just like seeing that disgusting visual just made me remember that I'm gonna have vulnerability hangover for mentioning the Oppenheim twins.

[Bowen Yang]

No, don't, don't, don't. And I'm sorry that I confused them with the Winklevoss's.

[Blair Saki]

No, I'm sorry too.

[Matt Rogers]

I think no one has anything to be ashamed about. You showed how smart you are. You showed that short kings have power sexually.

[Blair Saki]

I was like, where is he going with this?

[Matt Rogers]

I'm just saying we all showed our multitudes there.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah.

[Blair Saki]

No, I've been to a lot of therapy, though, and the crush went away. So did you.

[Matt Rogers]

Did you bring it up in therapy?

[Blair Saki]

No, I just think it happened like through osmosis. A lot of incredible healing happened and then sort of the attraction I noticed went away on the following season. And so all's right in the world.

[Matt Rogers]

So did you. Did the relationship with Chrishell change how you feel. Felt about him?

[Blair Saki]

I think so. I'm a die hard for Chrishell. I love. I love Chrishell from minute one to the two forever. I love her so much. And you know, that was. That'll help me.

[Matt Rogers]

You would have a blast with Chrishell.

[Blair Saki]

Oh, I know we would love each other.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah. Yeah, 100%. All right, well, while we have our producers make that connection happen, it's time for your. I don't think so, honey. Are you ready, Blair?

[Blair Saki]

I'm ready.

[Matt Rogers]

All right, well, that's good because this I don't think so, honey, is Blair Saki's. I don't think so, honey. One of the originators of the form and her time starts now.

[Blair Saki]

I don't think so, honey. Perm gate. What's perm gate? It's when I got a perm last week, incidentally. And you know what? I don't think so, honey. This I don't think so, honey is about the perm, but in so facto, it's actually about my 5 milligram THC night family that I take every single night. That led me down and actually radicalized me on that on the TikTok for you page because I saw the. These beautiful women with this long, luscious, loose curls. And they were loose curl, healthy, healthy, large perms. And they were. The curls were very large, loose, luscious. And I thought, I want a uniform. I want a uniformed. I want a uniformed, like a gracious, grown up looking curl instead of my skateboard curls. I walked into that perm place. It was a non toxic, a Non toxic, very highly reputable perm place. I said, I'd like to let. I'd like to look less skateboardy. And then they burned the out of my hair that I walked out and I said, what? I said, I. I like to look like Grace of Monaco, not Lords of Dogtown. And now I look like Heath Ledger at Lords of Dogtown. I have to wear a hat on my school. Teresa is a red one. It doesn't have to be qualified.

[Matt Rogers]

That's one minute. You don't look. You don't. Abdul.

[Bowen Yang]

Dogtown.

[Blair Saki]

Thank you.

[Matt Rogers]

You don't look Heath Ledger in the slightest.

[Bowen Yang]

Dog Ville or Dogtown.

[Matt Rogers]

I love Heath Ledger too.

[Blair Saki]

Shout out. Heath Ledger.

[Matt Rogers]

Shout out. But you don't look like him.

[Bowen Yang]

You don't look like him.

[Blair Saki]

Well, they said it's gonna go down in like eight weeks or something. Certain amount of washes. We're pushing permanent. We're pushing the K18. We're going to look into some sort of, I don't know, deep treatments.

[Bowen Yang]

That's what. It's just such a misnomer. Why do they call it a perm? It's not permanent.

[Matt Rogers]

Well, it's a long time.

[Blair Saki]

I will say I really loved. I really loved. I really loved the. When they were in, I felt so 1950s. Like, what those ladies must have felt like when the curl things were in.

[Matt Rogers]

It's almost like when this type of singing was popular. I met a girl by the bay

[Blair Saki]

tonight and I, Jesse time jumped like Paradise.

[Bowen Yang]

Oh, we need to watch that show. That's not our culture.

[Matt Rogers]

Do we need to watch that show?

[Blair Saki]

Sorry.

[Bowen Yang]

It feels like straight.

[Blair Saki]

I knew you were gonna say straight culture.

[Bowen Yang]

Right, but isn't it.

[Matt Rogers]

My parents are like, we love Paradise. And I'm like, yeah.

[Blair Saki]

My parents, who I actually. Yeah, you're right. I should go on straight to your lab and talk about paradise.

[Bowen Yang]

You should know that. Yes, absolutely.

[Matt Rogers]

Yes.

[Bowen Yang]

Hulu shows.

[Matt Rogers]

That strikes me as, like, weirdly a show George has seen. Like, he's. I think he's gone on, like, Paradise. Ask him.

[Blair Saki]

Look, it's. It's really well executed. A lot of lofty, lofty high concept. And I'm telling you, they're landing that plane.

[Bowen Yang]

They're landing that plane.

[Blair Saki]

Yeah.

[Bowen Yang]

Okay. Interesting.

[Blair Saki]

Yeah.

[Bowen Yang]

This is what this is. This is what we need. Maybe.

[Blair Saki]

Yeah.

[Bowen Yang]

Paradise is for straights.

[Blair Saki]

Yeah.

[Bowen Yang]

Industrious for buys.

[Blair Saki]

I love industry. Greta's the one that showed me industry.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah, of course. See, that's what I'm saying.

[Blair Saki]

It is hardcore porn on every. It's. Yeah. Love it.

[Bowen Yang]

And what's gay? Summer House, Rhode Island.

[Matt Rogers]

No, I think Summer House. Well, gay is. Gay is. RuPaul's Drag Race. RuPaul's Drag Race. Big finale coming up.

[Bowen Yang]

Who are we rooting for?

[Matt Rogers]

I. I guess I'm rooting for.

[Bowen Yang]

That's tough.

[Matt Rogers]

Mikey Meeks, right?

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah, yeah, She's. She's Final Three. Anyway, so that's.

[Matt Rogers]

That's our discourse on that. But listen, we had so many amazing discourses. I think this conversation flowed like a river.

[Blair Saki]

It did. I mean, I think we untangled so many Hot Topics.

[Bowen Yang]

We did.

[Blair Saki]

The View is probably scared.

[Matt Rogers]

Oh, the View is shook about us.

[Blair Saki]

Yeah.

[Bowen Yang]

So we're taking over.

[Blair Saki]

Yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

You know, the View has a podcast.

[Blair Saki]

Why?

[Matt Rogers]

Every day they have a podcast hosted by executive producer Brian Teta. It's called behind the wow.

[Bowen Yang]

Brian's wonderful.

[Matt Rogers]

Brian's lovely.

[Bowen Yang]

We love Brian.

[Blair Saki]

I love you, Brian.

[Matt Rogers]

You should go on the show. You actually would be amazing.

[Bowen Yang]

You would be amazing on the View as a panelist.

[Blair Saki]

Thank you.

[Matt Rogers]

Joy Behar. Your days are numbered, Joy.

[Blair Saki]

I feel like. I love. Yeah, Joy. I don't know if Joy would like me, but I would love. I think she would. That would be a lot of fun.

[Matt Rogers]

I think Whoopi would think you were just delightful.

[Blair Saki]

Whoopi is a lot of fun. I love her philosophy on living with me. I don't want a man in my house.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah. Get them out of here.

[Blair Saki]

Yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

So I don't want to have to talk to anybody.

[Bowen Yang]

And then what did she say recently about. She's like, I. I take care of myself, my. My needs. She was like, I'm. I'm not with the man. But every now and then. Yeah, I figure it out.

[Matt Rogers]

I figure it out.

[Blair Saki]

I figure it out.

[Matt Rogers]

She.

[Bowen Yang]

She said something along those lines.

[Matt Rogers]

She's intimating that she's got booty call list, which I love for Whoopi Goldberg.

[Bowen Yang]

So happy.

[Blair Saki]

I love that. I mean, like, look, everything's changed. If you're a rich woman, you really don't need to kind of get involved anymore.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah, that's true.

[Blair Saki]

We have credit cards, property. For now. Yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

And you got desks to rub on for anything, like Miss Mama.

[Bowen Yang]

Doors. Doors to.

[Matt Rogers]

Did you say her name?

[Bowen Yang]

I said first name Amanda, and I don't even think that's her name.

[Blair Saki]

Right. No, it's just Amanda. Heavy episode.

[Matt Rogers]

It's just Amanda. Amanda's across the country. Caught a lot of strays, Right?

[Blair Saki]

Yeah.

[Bowen Yang]

Well, we're not generalizing. I think it's just a coincidence that these two. These two girls that we focused on today were named Amanda. I didn't really focus on her.

[Matt Rogers]

And we're hoping the best for both

[Blair Saki]

of them and we're hope we are hoping the best. We are hoping that little Amanda's genitals are still sort of all intact. Every you know, they should be called gentles. Gentles.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah.

[Blair Saki]

Unless you like to take a beating. Huh, Belle.

[Bowen Yang]

Oh God.

[Matt Rogers]

You can see Blair saki performing at May 5th at the Hollywood Improv as part of Netflix is a joke. The podcast is spaced out and I think your life would benefit greatly.

[Blair Saki]

I can't wait to have you guys

[Matt Rogers]

on from just getting an infusion of Blair Psaki right in your veins and we're happy to provide you just a little sampling of that today.

[Bowen Yang]

We love you.

[Matt Rogers]

You've been on the edge of your seat since her 2017 episode of Lost Culture entitled Too Mischievous to Get to

[Bowen Yang]

Here to get to here. We end every episode with a the song don't speak.

[Matt Rogers]

You know just what you think so stop explaining. Don't tell because it hurts. Don't tell because it hurts. We always pick their key.

[Bowen Yang]

Tough. All right.

[Matt Rogers]

The whole thing is tough.

[Blair Saki]

I really need to be more confident about my singing voice.

[Bowen Yang]

You sounded amazing.

[Blair Saki]

Thank you.

[Bowen Yang]

Bye. Las Colduristas is a production by Will Ferrell's Big Money Players and iHeartradio podcasts

[Matt Rogers]

created and hosted by Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang, executive produced by Anna Hosnier and produced by Becca Ramos, edited and

[Bowen Yang]

mixed by Doug Bame.

[Matt Rogers]

And our music is by Henry Kamirsky.

[Bowen Yang]

Imagine never buying gas again. EVs are as easy to charge as your phone and perfect for every choice.

[Matt Rogers]

Life Drive daily with confidence everywhere you go. Most Americans drive 40 miles a day. Did you know that most EVs are equipped with 200 to 400 miles of range?

[Bowen Yang]

Here's the thing. They've got fewer parts, fewer repairs and fewer headaches.

[Matt Rogers]

With hundreds of new and used EV models available today, there's an EV to fit every lifestyle and every budget. The way forward is electric. Learn [e-mail] Sometimes the butt goes through a lot. When the butt speaks, we listen.

[Bowen Yang]

Preparation H is the butt care expert known for helping people care for their hemorrhoids with confidence. Medicated wipes to help keep things calm, cool and collected.

[Matt Rogers]

The rapid relief spray provides fast relief from itching, burning and swelling.

[Bowen Yang]

There's also a multi symptom relief cream when broader supplies support is needed. Preparation Age treats the issue rather than just masking it. No shame here, only solutions.

[Matt Rogers]

So if a butt has been begging for a little kindness. Wipe and treat for better relief with the number one doctor recommended brand Preparation H. You can't spell culturistas without R I.

[Bowen Yang]

That's right. Rhode island is the perfect place not just for the culturistas of the world, but all the other Easters too.

[Matt Rogers]

We're talking about the food east, the theater Easters, the nature Easters, the luxuries does. Whatever you're in Easter for, you'll find it in the Ocean State.

[Bowen Yang]

So start packing those bags and be the best Easter you can be.

[Matt Rogers]

Rhode island, all that.

[Bowen Yang]

Plan your trip@Visit Rhode Island.com that's Visit Rhode Island.com.

[Blair Saki]

you survived the Miami weekend, nailed the

[Bowen Yang]

speech, and maxed out your credit card

[Blair Saki]

in the name of friendship. Now you've got one hand hangover, four pastel dresses, and zero reasons to wear them again. Sell them on Depop.

[Bowen Yang]

Just snap a few photos and we'll

[Blair Saki]

take care of the rest. And you at least get some of your dignity money back. Someone on Depop wants what you've got. Start selling now, Depop.

[Bowen Yang]

Where taste recognizes taste.

[Blair Saki]

This is an iHeart podcast. Guaranteed Human.