“Show H*le At iHe*rt” (w/ Aaron Jackson + Josh Sharp)

Summary

Las Culturistas: “Show Hle At iHert” (w/ Aaron Jackson + Josh Sharp)

Episode Date: May 6, 2026
Hosts: Matt Rogers, Bowen Yang
Guests: Aaron Jackson (“Jonathan Groff”), Josh Sharp (“Lea Michele”)

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Overview

In this uproarious episode of Las Culturistas, Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang are joined by the effervescent Aaron Jackson and Josh Sharp for a free-wheeling, reference-laden, hyper-meta journey across pop culture, Broadway, queer identity, and truly every tangent imaginable. Expect inside jokes, irreverent debates, personal anecdotes, and several patently unserious “rules of culture.” The episode embodies the pod’s signature: a mix of drag and homage, self-aware camp, gay banter, and a relentless worship of the theater.

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Main Topics & Discussion Highlights

Opening Bits & “Show Hole at iHeart”

• Playful confusion with guest and host identities, riffing as “Lea Michele” and “Jonathan Groff” (01:24–03:38).
• Tony Award aspirations and reminiscing about their off-Broadway roots (03:11).
• Opening up about being misidentified as lesbians at “Titanique,” and the joys of queer-coded fashion (03:49–04:12).
• Raucous conversation about hair lengths and flirting with the “broccoli cut” aesthetic (04:26).
• The sexual liberation of the “Scanquinox,” aka the first warm NY day when everyone dresses slutty (05:03–05:13).
• Quote:
  “The day where everyone decides, like, now I will wear my slutty summer.”
  —Matt Rogers (05:09)
• Gossip about jockstrap happy hour and the interconnected podcasting “cinematic universe” (05:54).
• Running joke about spousal status and “Page Six” rumors (06:39).

Pop Culture Riffs & Running Jokes

• The ongoing bit about “Diana Vice”—Bowen’s imaginary wife (07:00).
• Quipping about dramatic roles, awards dreams, and the theater world’s constant churn (08:46).
• Jab at the music industry’s “too gay” moments and the ever-fraught balancing act of queer visibility in pop (09:35).

Viral Moments, DMs, & Gender Play

• Matt discusses unexpectedly positive, horny DMs after a drag poster:
  “People want me trans is what it’s—the DMs were like, ‘you’re a woman, I like it better.’ …People being like horny DMs in a way I’ve never received, I’m like something they like.”
  —Matt Rogers (10:38, 10:53)
• “Show Hole at iHeart” emerges as proposed episode title—a nod to both fan response and on-pod antics (11:33).

Lizzo’s Crossroads Theory & Pitchfork vs. Target

• Discussion of artists “choosing between Pitchfork and Target,” referencing Stradiolab’s Lizzo theory (11:40).
• Cody: “Imagine you’re Pocahontas in a responsible way.”
  —Bowen Yang (12:00)

Theater Culture, Broadway, and Waitstaff Carte Blanche

• Memories of “Titanique”; logging hilarious moments from the crowd and onstage (03:48–04:02).
• About “cult classic” status:
  “Making a cult classic is, like, you just make a flop and sort of seven years later, people are like, actually it’s a hit now.”
  —Jonathan Groff (14:45)
• Waitstaff “carte blanche” as an honorary rule of culture—waitstaff can do and say anything (20:59–21:03).

Retail Therapy and Stoner Adventures

• Bowen’s dazed Michael’s shopping story blurs the line between reality and weed-induced hallucination (23:36–24:54).
• Shakira’s “humble mountains” quote and legends about her IQ and linguistic abilities (25:37–26:01).

Gay Identity, Masculinity, and Code-Switching

• Debating who is the “most masc” among the group, landing on the idea that they all code-switch and have “straight” interests—like video games and anime (45:09–46:55).
• “Vibrato is inherently extremely gay. Why is your voice shaking like that?”
  —Matt Rogers (47:01)

Dream Roles, Broadway Musicals, and The Hours

• Aspirational and tongue-in-cheek dream casting for productions like Dreamgirls, Subways Are for Sleeping, and shadow-casting The Hours (16:24, 57:26).
• “Tony Collette is the Stanley Tucci of The Hours.”
  —Jonathan Groff (57:45)

Movie Star Worship and Awkward Encounters

• Debates about the “hottest women in film”—shoutouts to Cameron Diaz in The Mask and Charlie’s Angels (48:16–49:19).
• Tales of running into Cameron Diaz in Vail, Colorado (49:32).

Broadway Business & The State of Theaters

• Meta commentary about venue naming (Staples Center v. Crypto.com Arena) (22:03).
• The iconic Staples “Easy Button” as a “synecdoche” for everything (22:46–23:06).

Queer “Rules of Culture” and Recurring Games

• Several new “rules of culture” are introduced, e.g.,
  “11—that’s a Diaz dozen.”
  —Bowen Yang (50:33)
• Extended plays on language, gerunds, and rapid-fire grammar jokes (85:43–86:33).

The Famous “I Don’t Think So, Honey” Segment

• Matt, Aaron, and Josh each deliver a comic one-minute rant:
  • Matt: On Andrew Lloyd Webber’s excuse for leaving out the Evita balcony scene (77:47).
  • Josh (Jonathan): On people getting off to his allegedly sexy voice (83:00).
  • Aaron: On the never-ending dirtiness of kitchens (87:06).
• Example quote:
  “I don’t think so, honey, that the kitchen—the room of the kitchen—continues to be dirty…all you did was get some yogurt out.”
  —Aaron Jackson (87:06)

Producer & Podcast Lore

• Callbacks to longtime guests (Nathan Lee Graham, Murray Hill).
• “Drama desk, my love”—a new catchphrase emerges from theater afterparties (89:23).

Closing Bits

• The group predicts fake song titles for Ariana Grande’s upcoming album (“Rooted,” “Wet Wind,” “Lost in the House,” “Bokeh”) (91:06–93:14).
• Final toast to “devoted” fans who keep track of Las Culturistas’ rules of culture like the US Constitution (68:54).
• Quippy end: “Read a book…any book will do.” (93:56)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Broadway clout:
  “It would be hilarious. See Titanique. The quality and caliber of that performance—I think we can call it Tony-worthy.”
  —Bowen Yang (03:42)
• On Drag, Gender, and Positive Feedback:
  "People being like horny DMs in a way I’ve never received, I’m like something they like..."
  —Matt Rogers (10:53)
• On Cult Classics:
  “Making a cult classic is, like, you just make a flop and sort of seven years later, people are like, actually it’s a hit now.”
  —Jonathan Groff (14:45)
• On “Diaz Dozen”:
  “11. That’s a Diaz dozen.”
  —Bowen Yang (50:33)
• On gay actors:
  “We would all go on to play a gay assistant.”
  —Lea Michele (73:50)
• On bathroom/kitchen woes:
  “You clean it very well…not but a day later, stains upon the floor once again. And all you did was get some yogurt out.”
  —Aaron Jackson (87:06)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• 03:11 — Tony Award dreams and “Spring Awakening” memories
• 10:53 — Matt Rogers’ poster DMs & gender euphoria
• 20:59 — “Waitstaff gets carte blanche”—new rule of culture
• 23:36 — Bowen’s stoner Michael’s shopping story
• 45:09 — Debating “most masc” in the group
• 57:45 — “Tony Collette is the Stanley Tucci of The Hours.”
• 77:47 — Start of “I Don’t Think So, Honey” rants
• 83:02 — Josh Sharp’s “sexy voice” rant
• 87:06 — Aaron Jackson’s ode to filthy kitchens
• 91:06 — Fake Ariana Grande track title game
• 93:56 — “Read a book...any book will do.”

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Tone & Style

The episode is a hilarious, improvised, and often anarchic blend of queer Broadway inside jokes, pop-culture hot takes, absurdist speculation, and deep-cut theater lore. The banter is quick-witted, self-referential, and campy, with the trademark Las Culturistas combination of earnestness and performative irreverence.

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For the Uninitiated

If you haven’t listened:
This episode will both delight and challenge newcomers. Expect rapid-fire in-jokes, intentionally muddled identities, and an endless parade of gay cultural deep cuts. At its heart, the episode is about chosen family, queer joy, nostalgia for theater, and the obsessive worship of pop culture.

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TL;DR:
Las Culturistas at its most maximalist, careening through theater, pop, and gay life, powered by references, in-jokes, and affectionate shade. The show ends in classic fashion—with riffing, rule creation, and the institutionally beloved “I Don’t Think So, Honey.”

Transcript

[Matt Rogers]

This is an iHeart podcast.

[Podcast Announcer]

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[Bowen Yang]

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[Matt Rogers]

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[Bowen Yang]

Spam, sizzle, pork and mmm.

[Sponsor Voice]

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[Bowen Yang]

Look, man.

[Lea Michele]

Where?

[Bowen Yang]

Oh, I see my eye. Oh, my. Bowen, look over there.

[Jonathan Groff]

Wow.

[Lea Michele]

Is that culture? Yes. Goodness.

[Bowen Yang]

Wow. Las Culturistas. Ding dong dong.

[Lea Michele]

Las cultist.

[Bowen Yang]

Las Culturistas calling. I actually came in today thinking, who is going to do the ding and dong? Are they going to take that from us?

[Lea Michele]

You never know. They're actually respecting the structure, the decorum of this hallowed space.

[Bowen Yang]

What are you saying? Because they can hear you. I can't.

[Jonathan Groff]

I'm doing subliminal messages to your audience. Y' all keep doing what you do.

[Lea Michele]

Honey, what's superliminal? Us.

[Bowen Yang]

We are.

[Lea Michele]

We have the mics.

[Jonathan Groff]

Satan is your king.

[Bowen Yang]

We heard that.

[Lea Michele]

We heard that.

[Bowen Yang]

And we just want to say. You can say that as loud as heck.

[Matt Rogers]

Listen to me. Why you whisper that you can still

[Jonathan Groff]

listen to Sabrina Carpenter, but listen to Bjork even more?

[Bowen Yang]

Excuse me, Sabrina R. Carpenter. Is the devil's music down? Yeah.

[Lea Michele]

Have you heard the new Madonna track,

[Jonathan Groff]

Venmo 69 cents to Josh Ivan Sharp?

[Bowen Yang]

What do you need that type of money for?

[Jonathan Groff]

If I get $150, I will buy Fuegos. They're dance shoes I want for line dancing.

[Lea Michele]

Oh, my God. You love Fuegos.

[Jonathan Groff]

Ding dong. Las culturistas calling.

[Bowen Yang]

Great. Host it.

[Lea Michele]

Host it. Go.

[Jonathan Groff]

Hello, I'm Jonathan Groff. Ding dong. Las culturistas calling. I'm joined with, of course, Lea Michele.

[Matt Rogers]

Hello. Hello.

[Jonathan Groff]

We know each other from the way back.

[Lea Michele]

Ye.

[Bowen Yang]

When did y' all meet?

[Matt Rogers]

We met doing Spring Awakening off Broadway. Yes.

[Bowen Yang]

Stop it.

[Lea Michele]

Yes.

[Bowen Yang]

Well, then it made the famous leap

[Jonathan Groff]

to Broadway one of the more famous leaps.

[Lea Michele]

Now, what did you think of the time that you guys were trying to get into the Tonys while Bowen Yang and Matt Whitaker were also had run to the bathroom, and we were all. The four of us were all stuck outside the Tonys doors.

[Jonathan Groff]

Oh, we loved that. Oh, we loved it.

[Bowen Yang]

Y' all remember that?

[Jonathan Groff]

Always. We talk about it daily.

[Matt Rogers]

I want a Tony.

[Bowen Yang]

You just might get one, girl.

[Matt Rogers]

It might be my year.

[Bowen Yang]

It might be your year for Chad.

[Jonathan Groff]

Is Marla gonna win a Tony?

[Lea Michele]

Oh, I hope so.

[Jonathan Groff]

I hope so.

[Matt Rogers]

That would be so funny.

[Lea Michele]

God, she deserves it.

[Matt Rogers]

That would be so funny.

[Bowen Yang]

You think it will be funny?

[Matt Rogers]

Yes, I think everything.

[Lea Michele]

I think it would be beautiful.

[Matt Rogers]

I think everything Marlon Mandel does is funny, especially winning awards.

[Bowen Yang]

It would be hilarious. See Titanique.

[Matt Rogers]

See Titanique on Broadway for yourself.

[Bowen Yang]

The quality and caliber of that performance, I think we can call it Tony worthy.

[Matt Rogers]

It's incred. We went to opening.

[Lea Michele]

Yes.

[Matt Rogers]

And we were on, like, the third row. And we laughed really hard at this joke. Everybody loves semen except lesbians. And we laughed really hard. And Marla pointed at us and went, oh, lesbians. And then she clocked it was me,

[Bowen Yang]

Josh, and went, oh, hi, Lightning knives.

[Matt Rogers]

But she was like, I literally thought you were lesbian.

[Jonathan Groff]

In her defense, we were dressed like lesbians.

[Matt Rogers]

I was wearing, like, a silk chain.

[Bowen Yang]

Like this.

[Lea Michele]

Like this.

[Jonathan Groff]

And I had a lesbian hat. A big, wide, brimmed hat.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah.

[Lea Michele]

Now, this is actually a huge, historic moment for the two of you, because I feel like you have not had this kind of hair sort of synchronicity in years.

[Matt Rogers]

In a long time, I guess. Are you technically longer? I don't know. Maybe I'm.

[Bowen Yang]

You're longer.

[Lea Michele]

You're both flirting with broccoli. Cut. You both have gorgeous bangs.

[Jonathan Groff]

Mod.

[Lea Michele]

Mod. Mod for show.

[Jonathan Groff]

Mod down.

[Bowen Yang]

The Mod Squad here.

[Matt Rogers]

The Mod Squad.

[Jonathan Groff]

I grew out.

[Matt Rogers]

I grew out a short haircut into a shag. And then I decided to commit to the shag.

[Bowen Yang]

Mm.

[Matt Rogers]

Commit to shag for spring. But now it's. Well, no, it's still spring. It's for quite some time.

[Bowen Yang]

Speaking of committing to shag for spring, it must be a little warmer than it just was, because today I was walking around and bodies, bodies, bodies of the film.

[Matt Rogers]

What did Ryan Jones friend call it? The Scanquinox.

[Bowen Yang]

It must be the Scanquinox today, because I Saw some of the sluttiest men, straight, gay, and otherwise.

[Matt Rogers]

The day where everyone decides, like, now I will wear my slutty summer.

[Jonathan Groff]

Don't forget I'm wearing a jockstrap right now.

[Matt Rogers]

Oh, yeah, me too.

[Lea Michele]

I didn't forget.

[Bowen Yang]

He showed us.

[Jonathan Groff]

Would you like to see my ass again?

[Lea Michele]

Come on.

[Bowen Yang]

We can do that for them.

[Jonathan Groff]

It's for their reaction.

[Bowen Yang]

A lot of them went running. A lot of this. This is gonna show us your ass.

[Lea Michele]

Oh, you're not gonna point it to camera? Okay, okay, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead.

[Bowen Yang]

Go on. In a way that would suggest. That's the first time I think we've been shown whole on.

[Lea Michele]

That can't be true.

[Matt Rogers]

Nicole Kidman didn't show.

[Jonathan Groff]

Paulson didn't show Hole.

[Bowen Yang]

They were dying, too, the whole time, and we're like, can I show Hole?

[Jonathan Groff]

We're Paulson.

[Matt Rogers]

I'm also wearing a jockstrap because we're gonna go to the Jockstrap Happy Hour after this.

[Jonathan Groff]

You know what's fascinating? Cause Sam Taggart is doing a podcast in this very building right now.

[Matt Rogers]

Bleep that out.

[Jonathan Groff]

Bleep that out. Bleep this whole episode out. Also going to Jockstrap Happy Hour. That's very. You know, the cinematic universes will. I know true heads could listen to both episodes, knowing they're leading towards.

[Lea Michele]

Do you think he's talking about it on his app?

[Matt Rogers]

We should text him and say, please mention.

[Jonathan Groff]

Please speak on it.

[Bowen Yang]

So I love it.

[Jonathan Groff]

Text him, speak on it.

[Bowen Yang]

Is George gonna go to jock strap night, too? Or do married men not really do that? Well, y' all are married.

[Matt Rogers]

Y' all are married.

[Jonathan Groff]

Yeah, he has a lack of will to go to jockstrap.

[Bowen Yang]

Whoa, hold on a second. We're the only ones not married.

[Matt Rogers]

Aren't you married?

[Jonathan Groff]

I'm not married.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah, but come on.

[Jonathan Groff]

Yeah, true.

[Bowen Yang]

Commonly, I'm not married.

[Jonathan Groff]

That's not what I heard.

[Bowen Yang]

Oh, yeah? What'd you hear about me?

[Matt Rogers]

That you're married.

[Jonathan Groff]

That you're married.

[Bowen Yang]

Where'd you hear this?

[Jonathan Groff]

To a beautiful woman.

[Matt Rogers]

I heard it from Page Six. Page Six reports the front page of Page Six.

[Bowen Yang]

Who's my wife? Tell me.

[Matt Rogers]

Diana Vice.

[Jonathan Groff]

Diana Vice. And y' all are very happy together according to page one of Page Six.

[Bowen Yang]

By the way, a lot of you think that my wife, Diana Vice, spells her name like Rachel Weisz. No, no, it's Diana Vice. Like Miami Vice.

[Matt Rogers]

Yes.

[Bowen Yang]

Miami was actually her great aunt.

[Lea Michele]

Oh, yes.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah, the whole thing.

[Matt Rogers]

Miami is such a gorgeous name.

[Lea Michele]

And they named the show after her.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah. Well, they said she's such a beautiful baby. She.

[Jonathan Groff]

Would you say Lauren?

[Bowen Yang]

Oh, I thought, yeah.

[Jonathan Groff]

What a beautiful.

[Bowen Yang]

See, what happened was you said born and I heard Lauren because I'm in the entertainment industry.

[Matt Rogers]

Wait, we're not really Lea. Michelle and Jonathan Groff.

[Bowen Yang]

Sorry, Rose Byrne. Or do you want to be Rose Byrne and Kelli o'?

[Lea Michele]

Hara?

[Matt Rogers]

I think we're Rose Byrne and Kelly o'.

[Jonathan Groff]

Hara.

[Matt Rogers]

But which is which? That's fascinating.

[Lea Michele]

Interesting. Kelly.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah, I'm a soprano. I'm a famous.

[Bowen Yang]

Kelly o' Hara and Rose Byrne. The husband of Miami Vice. Yes. Diana Weiss, rather.

[Matt Rogers]

Diana Vice. Miami Weiss is her mother.

[Bowen Yang]

I guess. I guess step. Step, nephew.

[Lea Michele]

Step nephew of Diana Weisz. Something like that.

[Bowen Yang]

Oh.

[Lea Michele]

Nephew in law.

[Bowen Yang]

Nephew in law.

[Lea Michele]

Nephew in law.

[Matt Rogers]

Nephew in law.

[Bowen Yang]

You are, ma'.

[Jonathan Groff]

Am.

[Lea Michele]

I am Lea Michele.

[Bowen Yang]

You're the real Lea Michele.

[Jonathan Groff]

Neighborhood of the traveling Lea Michele. Everyone will play her part.

[Lea Michele]

I want to Tony.

[Bowen Yang]

What did you say? I wanted Tony.

[Matt Rogers]

I want a Tony can.

[Bowen Yang]

I was her, I'd want one too.

[Jonathan Groff]

Me too.

[Bowen Yang]

And she should have one. I'd say, you know what? Quite frankly, I'd say, give me one now.

[Jonathan Groff]

Give me that thing called her. I would want one totally.

[Lea Michele]

And would you say was that first

[Jonathan Groff]

person if I wasn't her? I would want one.

[Matt Rogers]

You're a drama desk nominee.

[Jonathan Groff]

I'm a drama desk nominee.

[Lea Michele]

Congratulations.

[Bowen Yang]

And by the way, we'll know now if we're Tony nominees.

[Lea Michele]

That's right.

[Bowen Yang]

Because we're gonna find out who Sam is.

[Jonathan Groff]

Your producer's on titan.

[Matt Rogers]

Time is so interesting.

[Jonathan Groff]

You both do younger brother in ragtime.

[Matt Rogers]

Yes.

[Bowen Yang]

Ben Levi Ross. Well, when Ben Levi Ross do it, we both do it.

[Matt Rogers]

You're. You're off. Off stage, theater, off site, swings.

[Lea Michele]

Yes.

[Jonathan Groff]

One of you is the back half and one's the front half. Right. And you get in that Ben Levi Ross. Com.

[Bowen Yang]

You're the little half of Ben Levi Ross and I'm the face part of Ben Lee.

[Jonathan Groff]

Vai Ross.

[Lea Michele]

Gorgeous face that can sing.

[Bowen Yang]

I'm the face and throat of Ben Levi Ross. Yes.

[Jonathan Groff]

And you're that thick, round ass.

[Lea Michele]

I wish you were here.

[Matt Rogers]

See the connector.

[Lea Michele]

I did not. Oh, yes, I did see the connector. He can sing wonderful.

[Bowen Yang]

Well, I heard his, like, original music.

[Matt Rogers]

Great.

[Jonathan Groff]

Crazy boy chick.

[Matt Rogers]

Boy chick is maybe dead.

[Jonathan Groff]

Or is boy chick? I don't know.

[Lea Michele]

Boy chick is maybe on pause.

[Matt Rogers]

Let's pause.

[Jonathan Groff]

Too gay. Boy chick.

[Matt Rogers]

Pause.

[Jonathan Groff]

Too gay.

[Matt Rogers]

Yes. Very huge.

[Bowen Yang]

Are you the music industry?

[Jonathan Groff]

Yes.

[Bowen Yang]

Yes. Pause, pause. Too gay.

[Jonathan Groff]

First name, music, last name, industry.

[Bowen Yang]

We learned our lesson with that Troy Sivan. Things can get a little too gay. Suddenly all these musicians are gonna be sniffing pumpers.

[Jonathan Groff]

Hey, come back when you're a girl.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah, be like one of your girls.

[Bowen Yang]

Exactly.

[Jonathan Groff]

Come back when you're a girl.

[Lea Michele]

You look pretty good.

[Bowen Yang]

Resemble him as that girl in weird girl songs.

[Matt Rogers]

When I'm in drag.

[Lea Michele]

Yeah. You have a long, gorgeous, blown out wig the way that Troy does in that video.

[Matt Rogers]

No. Did you see the poster I made for my show? Well, yes, that's where I was giving Kant now.

[Lea Michele]

We were out to dinner with Jo Firestone last night and she did tell us that you were quoted as saying, I've been in movies, I've written movies, I've been on tv.

[Matt Rogers]

Yes.

[Lea Michele]

The thing that I've gotten the most positive feedback on is the poster for my show.

[Matt Rogers]

Weird girl songs. And usually on stage. You're slightly hyperbolic. I'm not being.

[Lea Michele]

Talk about the numbers.

[Matt Rogers]

People want me. Trans is what it's. The DMs were like, you're a woman. I like it better.

[Bowen Yang]

We like this better.

[Matt Rogers]

This is.

[Lea Michele]

That's how trans works. Yeah.

[Jonathan Groff]

You're a woman. We like it.

[Bowen Yang]

Positive reinforcement. No, it was the community coming together. Say yes, girl.

[Matt Rogers]

People like either being like, you're really pretty, oh, this is so pretty. Or people being like horny dms in a way I've never received. I'm like something they like.

[Bowen Yang]

Horny DMs like you've never seen.

[Matt Rogers]

And I'm telling you, people were horny

[Jonathan Groff]

for me as a girl, I don't like saying, so what?

[Bowen Yang]

You were sent a picture of a body part you hadn't seen before?

[Matt Rogers]

I'd never seen before.

[Bowen Yang]

You hadn't you put your goddamn sexual microscope out the way you are always Sexual microscope.

[Jonathan Groff]

Would you say the response was such that people were spreading cheeks, showing hole at I heart?

[Matt Rogers]

That kind of response, I've never gotten that kind of positive response. Time to do it again, I think.

[Bowen Yang]

I think you do it one more

[Lea Michele]

time for your friend Aaron.

[Bowen Yang]

I think show hole at I heart is title of show hole at I heart.

[Jonathan Groff]

Show hole at I heart.

[Matt Rogers]

That's really good.

[Lea Michele]

This is a stradio lab theory that Sam and George have put up, which is Lizzo's past, which is you. You are. You are an artist such as Lizzo. And you arrive at a crossroads and the.

[Jonathan Groff]

And it's pitchfork.

[Lea Michele]

And it's. And you only have two choices. It's target or pitchfork.

[Jonathan Groff]

Wait, what is the other choice? I was calling it pitchfork. Do they have a nomenclature pitchfork. Literally.

[Lea Michele]

Yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

Oh, that's.

[Jonathan Groff]

I guessed it correct.

[Bowen Yang]

Imagine you're Pocahontas in a responsible way.

[Matt Rogers]

We were talking about Pocahontas.

[Lea Michele]

We were talking about Pocahontas.

[Bowen Yang]

Well, of course. Aren't you a gay guy in the year 2026?

[Matt Rogers]

Thank you, icon.

[Bowen Yang]

Sure, we've talked about that. I believe she was deciding between the smoothest course.

[Jonathan Groff]

Uh huh.

[Matt Rogers]

Steady as the beating.

[Bowen Yang]

Steady as the beating giver.

[Matt Rogers]

Coco, is all my dreaming at an end or do you still wait for me? Dream giver Just around a riff at the target. I literally forgot Cynthia's riff. I was gonna try to do it.

[Lea Michele]

You.

[Bowen Yang]

We're gonna cut that out.

[Matt Rogers]

No one can forgive.

[Bowen Yang]

No one is for dance. It is in the stone shall forget. The subway. We were actually on the subway the other day.

[Jonathan Groff]

And congrats again.

[Bowen Yang]

Thank you so much.

[Jonathan Groff]

Congrats, darling.

[Bowen Yang]

We chose the subway before Uber.

[Jonathan Groff]

See, they have not changed.

[Matt Rogers]

They're still a little guy.

[Bowen Yang]

We're going down in some woman. Lovely.

[Matt Rogers]

You're going down on some woman.

[Bowen Yang]

We're going down to the subway. Advice, my wife. We were going down into the subway and this woman was like, just saw Bowen and just lost it. Said, love you, by the way. And she said, wicked is. And she went like, this wicked is. And I said, has anyone ever come up to you, pointed to you, got in your face and just went,

[Matt Rogers]

must have.

[Lea Michele]

Wicked is.

[Matt Rogers]

Wicked is.

[Bowen Yang]

Cause you know they do that to Cynthia.

[Matt Rogers]

But it'll come back when she's old. It'll be lovely. That's what happens to them all. Like Judy Garland hated Over the Rainbow, but of course, you know, she loves. Yeah, everyone's like, do over the R. Do the riff.

[Lea Michele]

Yeah, because your act becomes your enemy.

[Matt Rogers]

Exactly. But then in the end, honey, you have a legacy.

[Jonathan Groff]

We hate Dicks the musical right now.

[Lea Michele]

So John Waters was in that chair last week?

[Bowen Yang]

Yes, he was. This one and that one.

[Jonathan Groff]

Oh, yeah.

[Bowen Yang]

Well, he's 80, so. He's 80. Can you be respectful? This is really. 3 year old.

[Matt Rogers]

Never.

[Bowen Yang]

Never.

[Matt Rogers]

Now I'm penetrating.

[Bowen Yang]

Stop it. It's disgusting. Disgusting. At least take the pants off.

[Lea Michele]

Well, you're straight now. You just fucked a woman, Josh.

[Jonathan Groff]

I know. That's true.

[Matt Rogers]

That's true. Okay, John Waters in the chair.

[Lea Michele]

Just talking about cult classics and how no one wants to be a cult artist. And we were like, we know our friends, like, who wrote this musical. He was like, I've seen a Josh and Aaron. And we were like. And they were like, they are obvious, like, as soon as the movie came out, everyone was like, it's a future cult classic. And then y' all were like, well, that doesn't feel amazing, necessarily.

[Jonathan Groff]

Yeah.

[Bowen Yang]

He was like, did that mean it failed? Failed, Failed.

[Jonathan Groff]

I wonder what John says about this, because actually, we love the reception of Dixon musical. And so far as I'm like, it shouldn't have been made at all.

[Matt Rogers]

Right?

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah.

[Jonathan Groff]

But it is true that making a cult classic is, like, you just make a flop and sort of seven years later, people are like, actually, it's a hit now.

[Matt Rogers]

7.

[Lea Michele]

Okay, so can I reveal something that's

[Jonathan Groff]

sort of like, everybody's like, well, it didn't really do well. And then I think time passes, and then they're like, actually did great.

[Lea Michele]

And the story is, why didn't it do well? It's so good. Like, it can always retroactively sort of balm that wound. Can I reveal something to y', all, please? And it's. I meant to tell you this sooner, but I think this is a great occasion. I promise. I didn't save it for this.

[Matt Rogers]

I wanted to.

[Bowen Yang]

I wanted to.

[Matt Rogers]

Costume review.

[Lea Michele]

Went to Death of a Salesman.

[Matt Rogers]

I haven't been yet.

[Jonathan Groff]

We're gonna go soon.

[Lea Michele]

I open up the playbill, I go and read Nathan Lane's bio. He lists all of his credits. And I was hurt that Dick's the musical was not listed.

[Matt Rogers]

It was in another one. He's listed it in another. It was in Pictures from Home.

[Jonathan Groff]

Pictures from Home.

[Lea Michele]

Oh, okay, so then maybe he was.

[Matt Rogers]

He's got too many pictures.

[Jonathan Groff]

I don't think it's. He loves that movie. That was not a him.

[Lea Michele]

So then it was his.

[Bowen Yang]

It's always the publicist. It is Diana. Diana Vice. Welcome. I should know better than anyone. My wife is a publicist.

[Matt Rogers]

Oh, my God.

[Bowen Yang]

For the art world.

[Matt Rogers]

Ah, well, that's dangerous. Big money laundering. No, he said at the premiere, I'm proud of this movie. And he's not one to talk like that, to say he's still our dad who texts us to give praise. Yeah.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

Okay.

[Lea Michele]

That makes me feel much better.

[Matt Rogers]

I don't feel all is right.

[Lea Michele]

Okay, good. I mean, and he was, by the way, amazing.

[Matt Rogers]

I'm sure. God, I'm sorry.

[Lea Michele]

He's a. He's a hot willy.

[Jonathan Groff]

He's a hot willy.

[Lea Michele]

Hot Willy Lohman.

[Bowen Yang]

Is that a real culture number 40? Nathan Lane is a hot willy. Willy Loman.

[Lea Michele]

Willy Loman.

[Bowen Yang]

Always a great role for a fucking stud.

[Matt Rogers]

Yes.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah, yeah. What role in theater would be your dream role?

[Jonathan Groff]

Oh, that is Such a great.

[Bowen Yang]

Well, out of all the parts and even I'm going to say props. Just male roles.

[Matt Rogers]

Just male roles.

[Bowen Yang]

I'm even gonna say that amab.

[Jonathan Groff]

I want to be in Subways are for sleeping.

[Matt Rogers]

This is a real old musical that's familiar.

[Jonathan Groff]

You don't know it at all. It's an old musical about homelessness on the subways that I just like.

[Matt Rogers]

But I think it's like a charming comedy.

[Jonathan Groff]

What do I actually want to be in?

[Bowen Yang]

I think you'd be good Avenue Q. You'd be amazing.

[Matt Rogers]

Avenue Q.

[Bowen Yang]

You just gotta learn how to do puppets. Ooh.

[Jonathan Groff]

Or I wanna be that big tree in Miss Redwood.

[Lea Michele]

Yeah, Stella.

[Jonathan Groff]

I wanna be ste.

[Bowen Yang]

Why didn't I wear my redwood shirt today?

[Jonathan Groff]

I should have worn my redwood shirt.

[Bowen Yang]

I wore my Josh Sharp tada shirt. I thought I was doing the right thing. I have a perfectly good redwood.

[Matt Rogers]

I'm in my. Speaking of ass, My Jonathan David Smith. He's a wonderful artist and this is his ass.

[Lea Michele]

He's taking photos of your ass.

[Matt Rogers]

Actually, we've never taken photos.

[Lea Michele]

You don't do photos. You pose for drawings.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah, I've done photos too though.

[Lea Michele]

Where are they?

[Bowen Yang]

Well, you know, a lot of older people say take the photos of yourself nude when you're young because get this, it'll never look like that again.

[Jonathan Groff]

So we've all missed it.

[Bowen Yang]

I don't know.

[Jonathan Groff]

We be some old girls.

[Matt Rogers]

Oh, no.

[Jonathan Groff]

We be some old girls.

[Lea Michele]

This is the youngest you'll ever be right now.

[Bowen Yang]

That's the creamy nugget of. What I'm saying is that you could say every single day. Yeah, creamy nugget.

[Jonathan Groff]

What did you do to that nugget?

[Bowen Yang]

That very egg just all over it. Like you do nuggets.

[Lea Michele]

Like you do.

[Matt Rogers]

Like one must.

[Jonathan Groff]

Ba da da da da.

[Bowen Yang]

You didn't see when you showed ho for a second I came everywhere these chick. That's why you gotta keep your eyes open.

[Jonathan Groff]

Well, I was playing for the cameras.

[Bowen Yang]

I had ordered all these chicken nuggets for us.

[Lea Michele]

Speaking of creamy nuggets, how do you. How do you get the ass so juicy? It's really juiced up.

[Jonathan Groff]

Is it line dancing, everyone?

[Lea Michele]

Is it line dancing?

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah. What are you doing for your ass?

[Jonathan Groff]

Ever since the drama desk nom.

[Bowen Yang]

No, no, it's gone right to his ass.

[Jonathan Groff]

Biking.

[Lea Michele]

I'm a biking and the handles go like this.

[Matt Rogers]

I'm gonna sing that at Cynthia when I see her.

[Bowen Yang]

Ms. Gulch, my most fit friend says, really all you gotta do is. I'm not even entertaining this Joke. Because that's actually a really sad story.

[Jonathan Groff]

Honey, it's a Pitchfork app. It's interruption hour.

[Bowen Yang]

Anyway, all you gotta do is walk on an elliptical at an incline, and apparently you get ripped.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah, people like that. People do the staircase, but everyone says something. Everyone says, if you do that, you'll actually have the flattest ass.

[Jonathan Groff]

What the heck?

[Matt Rogers]

Everyone's body's different.

[Jonathan Groff]

Why can't the community agree like they did when they knew that Aaron was a trans woman?

[Bowen Yang]

The community needs to agree on.

[Lea Michele]

On body.

[Jonathan Groff]

I wish the community would just agree. Body. Ody, Ody.

[Matt Rogers]

Jo Firestone got my name in her mouth.

[Bowen Yang]

Yes, she did.

[Lea Michele]

In a lovely way. Make me sick in a laudatory way. I would say she is.

[Bowen Yang]

Joel Firestone is the head writer of the Culture Awards.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah, I know that. I heard this. It's one of the funniest trades.

[Lea Michele]

A lot. You're really one of the funniest humans alive.

[Matt Rogers]

This will be good for everyone.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah.

[Bowen Yang]

What's that? Oh, are you doing asmr?

[Matt Rogers]

Yep.

[Bowen Yang]

Satan.

[Jonathan Groff]

Satan.

[Lea Michele]

What's the deal with sparkling water?

[Jonathan Groff]

Okay. Jerry Seinfeld. Seinfeld. Pop off.

[Bowen Yang]

People who love it, love it.

[Matt Rogers]

You drink it.

[Lea Michele]

And it's. It's spicy.

[Jonathan Groff]

Yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

I like it to hurt a little.

[Jonathan Groff]

I love this stuff.

[Bowen Yang]

No ice. You don't need no ice.

[Matt Rogers]

And you're from the North. That's very Southern to like ice.

[Bowen Yang]

Oh, I've had ice in every single one of my beverages for years. Just.

[Matt Rogers]

And you're from the North.

[Bowen Yang]

You hear what I just. You see what I just said? I said look down on my iced

[Lea Michele]

coffee and you're not gonna drink that anymore.

[Bowen Yang]

You lie.

[Jonathan Groff]

State of the Union.

[Lea Michele]

State of the Union.

[Matt Rogers]

You lie and you lie.

[Bowen Yang]

Goddamn. Getting better and better.

[Jonathan Groff]

What's more iconic? You lie at Obama or throwing the shoe at George W. Bush.

[Matt Rogers]

The shoe. The shoe was sweet.

[Jonathan Groff]

The shoe, Right. The shoe was incredible.

[Matt Rogers]

Cause my dream role is Curtis in Dreamgirls.

[Bowen Yang]

Yes.

[Matt Rogers]

And I will play it.

[Bowen Yang]

Let Dino play. It's gonna be you. It's gonna be you. Your face will be everywhere in soundcheck

[Matt Rogers]

for Weird girl songs.

[Jonathan Groff]

Kyle.

[Matt Rogers]

Kyle Breyer, the music director. Lovely.

[Bowen Yang]

Cute and a half.

[Matt Rogers]

I'd say cute and a half. Maybe even cute in a double. Was playing home. Just practicing and was playing home, and I started singing home. And one of the waitstaff goes, that's home.

[Lea Michele]

Or just do a sound check.

[Bowen Yang]

It's not in the sound.

[Jonathan Groff]

They read you down.

[Matt Rogers]

She was being fun.

[Lea Michele]

In an earned capacity.

[Matt Rogers]

Oh, completely earned.

[Jonathan Groff]

Wait staff can do anything yes, they can.

[Lea Michele]

They really can.

[Matt Rogers]

Carte blanche.

[Jonathan Groff]

Carte blanche.

[Bowen Yang]

They get carte blanche.

[Lea Michele]

They get carte blanche. White card.

[Matt Rogers]

As. As it's rural culture. Number one, wait staff gets carte blanche.

[Lea Michele]

Now go. Go off, make fun of us.

[Jonathan Groff]

Go off, make fun of us.

[Bowen Yang]

Have your fun.

[Matt Rogers]

That was, you know, you were on snl. It's a show and it' the highest form of flattery is imitation. So you of all people should understand.

[Lea Michele]

No, I. We're just a little tender today.

[Bowen Yang]

Of course.

[Jonathan Groff]

Go ahead, make fun of J.D. vance.

[Matt Rogers]

I really never did turnabouts.

[Bowen Yang]

I would never make fun of any author because of how hard it is to write a book.

[Matt Rogers]

It's really hard.

[Bowen Yang]

Have you written a book?

[Matt Rogers]

Yes.

[Jonathan Groff]

Book of Life.

[Bowen Yang]

You've written a long show. That's not a book. Could be this one has written a book.

[Lea Michele]

T. Is there any plans to take

[Jonathan Groff]

your show to a larger stage, to the book market? Why, yes,

[Bowen Yang]

this.

[Lea Michele]

Sorry. We're taking the show to Target. I guess we're making it a real Internet.

[Jonathan Groff]

Are showing Target at the Target Arena.

[Matt Rogers]

Is there a Target Arena?

[Jonathan Groff]

Yes. Lizzo opening.

[Matt Rogers]

There must be one.

[Jonathan Groff]

There must be a Target Arena.

[Bowen Yang]

Oh, God, I'd be shocked if there wasn't. You know what I really can't wrap my head around is crypto.com arena.

[Jonathan Groff]

Which one is that again?

[Bowen Yang]

The Staples center.

[Matt Rogers]

Which is also bad. Staples.

[Jonathan Groff]

It makes you miss Staples Center. And that also sucks. You're like, at the time, we didn't know how good we had it with Staples Center. You know what I mean?

[Bowen Yang]

This used to be named after Staples.

[Jonathan Groff]

We didn't know how good we had it.

[Bowen Yang]

Is Staples still a thing or no?

[Matt Rogers]

Absolutely not.

[Jonathan Groff]

The power.

[Bowen Yang]

It's not as big as crypto.com.

[Lea Michele]

no, no, no.

[Matt Rogers]

Crypto.com.

[Bowen Yang]

yeah, dot com.

[Jonathan Groff]

But you can't go to crypto.com for your loose leaf paper neither. So Staples still is necessary.

[Matt Rogers]

Girl.

[Lea Michele]

And I think Staples really ate down with the release of the. The Easy button.

[Jonathan Groff]

That was a cultural moment.

[Lea Michele]

That was easy.

[Matt Rogers]

What's the Easy button?

[Jonathan Groff]

That big red button they had in the. In the ads.

[Lea Michele]

That was Staples. Or was that Office Max Staples?

[Matt Rogers]

Thank you, Office Max. Could never.

[Lea Michele]

Could never.

[Matt Rogers]

Researcher.

[Jonathan Groff]

Researcher on site.

[Lea Michele]

That was easy. Is you anytime. Something was easy.

[Jonathan Groff]

Well, it contains everything. It's a synecdoche. It speaks to everything. It's holistic.

[Bowen Yang]

You know what Everything. And I swear to God, I got, by the way, the weed that I spy and smoke in Los Angeles is not weed.

[Jonathan Groff]

It's chronic.

[Bowen Yang]

I get on the street. It's the craziest. West Coast. Jared Frieder, who's the biggest stoner I know, takes one hit of my shit and goes, you're crazy. And lays down. I walk down the street to him. Michaels.

[Jonathan Groff]

Uh huh. Uh huh.

[Bowen Yang]

I love Michaels. They have it all, honey. Home decor.

[Matt Rogers]

Jonathan Adler.

[Bowen Yang]

Jonathan Adam. Jonathan Adler.

[Matt Rogers]

She's a Michaels girl now.

[Bowen Yang]

I said, let me pick this pillow up and walk around with it for a little while. Maybe I'll buy it.

[Matt Rogers]

It was like.

[Bowen Yang]

It was like, cut a crazy pillow. So then I run into, get this, okay, a woman and her mom. And she goes over and the first thing she says is, I can't believe I'm running into you at Michael's. I'm very high. I'm like, ugh, do you like this pillow? And I had something else in my hand that not a bit like. I think it was also from the collection. She looks at me, she looks at the pillow on the other thing and she goes, you know, I think they look good together. I was like, yeah, but that wasn't my question. Do you like it? The mother goes, I don't know who you are, so I'm just gonna tell you the truth. I don't like it at all. And then she goes, I don't like it either, but I feel like I can't tell you I don't like it. I was like, no, you need to tell me the truth if you like. And she goes, okay, we don't like it. I was like, all right, I might think about it, because, I don't know, I do like it. She goes, okay, well, it was so great to see you. I can't believe I get to tell everyone I saw you at Michael's.

[Jonathan Groff]

Can I ask, what are the odds this whole thing was a hallucination?

[Matt Rogers]

Right. How dank is that chronic?

[Jonathan Groff]

You know what I mean? Because this is not east coast weed. This is west coast weed. Are you serious?

[Bowen Yang]

I'm gonna say I'm gonna put it at the 20%. It was a hallucination.

[Matt Rogers]

20% hallucination. You were talking to a Jonathan Adler Voss. Right.

[Bowen Yang]

Truly, I did put everything down and leave with nothing.

[Lea Michele]

Yeah.

[Jonathan Groff]

The true, like, comedy movie cut. Where you go on the trip and then it hard cut. You talking to a door.

[Bowen Yang]

Decorative Jonathan Gladrill Adler pillows. And like, for some reason, like, two smocks and some art stuff. Because I'm gonna get into art, I guess.

[Lea Michele]

Yeah, you should. But I just. I just want to call out the mom. Like, she was also hedging a little bit too she's like, I like them to get. We'll just say, you don't fucking like it.

[Bowen Yang]

She wasn't hedging. She was just giving her daughter the space to say hi to someone she liked. And then she was like, listen, I don't know who you are.

[Jonathan Groff]

I love that.

[Bowen Yang]

I am gonna tell you. I don't like you.

[Jonathan Groff]

That reminds me of one of my favorite Shakira quotes.

[Matt Rogers]

Okay.

[Jonathan Groff]

Early Shakira, when she was coming on the scene.

[Matt Rogers]

Okay.

[Jonathan Groff]

Humble mountains and all that.

[Lea Michele]

Yes.

[Bowen Yang]

Okay.

[Jonathan Groff]

She was doing an interview and she was doing some quote about the crossover to the United States. And she basically was like, back, you know, in my home country, everybody. I walked down the street, Shakira, Shakira, Shakira. I come here. I walk down the street. People come up to me and they go, who are you? What are you doing?

[Bowen Yang]

And I love that.

[Jonathan Groff]

It wasn't just like, I'm not known. It's like, people come up here and they're like, who are you?

[Matt Rogers]

They approach you and what are you doing?

[Lea Michele]

And what are you doing? What are your unfavorite Shakira quotes?

[Jonathan Groff]

Great point.

[Bowen Yang]

You're not a big fan of yellow.

[Jonathan Groff]

I love that one.

[Bowen Yang]

That's changed.

[Lea Michele]

Humble mountains.

[Jonathan Groff]

Humble mountains. Non Shakira quote.

[Matt Rogers]

Your most unfavorous.

[Jonathan Groff]

My most. Oh, things she said I don't like.

[Lea Michele]

Because you said that was one of your favorite. One of your favorite Shakira quotes.

[Jonathan Groff]

I hated when Shakira said, jet fuel doesn't melt steel beams.

[Lea Michele]

Yeah.

[Jonathan Groff]

I hated when she said.

[Bowen Yang]

What did you feel when she said, no, no, no, I don't think you have to pay taxes.

[Jonathan Groff]

Well, that's sort of iconic.

[Matt Rogers]

A lot of people agree.

[Lea Michele]

I think that's potentially inspiring.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah.

[Lea Michele]

There's potential to all evade all evade all.

[Matt Rogers]

Evade socialists.

[Bowen Yang]

Something I heard when I was in, like, elementary school or middle school or something.

[Matt Rogers]

Is that one of the younger schools?

[Bowen Yang]

One of the younger schools is that Shakira is a legal genius who speaks upwards of six languages.

[Matt Rogers]

I would believe that.

[Bowen Yang]

With an IQ above 160, I would believe that.

[Jonathan Groff]

I would absolutely believe that.

[Matt Rogers]

The hips don't lie.

[Jonathan Groff]

The hips don't lie. Humble mountains and all that.

[Lea Michele]

Humble mountains and all that. Now I want to put out a store as well in the same vein as Michael's.

[Jonathan Groff]

Please.

[Lea Michele]

Five below.

[Jonathan Groff]

Go to that girl.

[Lea Michele]

You have a nice view. You go, what do they got? They've got, you know, minion things, toys. They've got cheap stuff for birthdays, for children's events.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah. Fun craft.

[Lea Michele]

Fun craft.

[Jonathan Groff]

Kmart family.

[Lea Michele]

I'm not sure. I don't want to look into it.

[Bowen Yang]

I'm sure Led Wetzler is involved somehow. He doesn't even want to Google it because of the implications.

[Matt Rogers]

Well, Google's all bad now, too.

[Lea Michele]

I don't want my AI overview pen.

[Bowen Yang]

I don't want that.

[Jonathan Groff]

I don't want that.

[Lea Michele]

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[Bowen Yang]

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[Lea Michele]

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[Bowen Yang]

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[Lea Michele]

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[Bowen Yang]

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[Lea Michele]

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[Bowen Yang]

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[Lea Michele]

Huge. Thanks again to our sponsor, Vital Proteins.

[Bowen Yang]

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[Lea Michele]

I thought you said it was proven by science.

[Bowen Yang]

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[Lea Michele]

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[Bowen Yang]

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[Lea Michele]

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[Bowen Yang]

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[Lea Michele]

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[Bowen Yang]

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[Lea Michele]

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[Bowen Yang]

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[Lea Michele]

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[Bowen Yang]

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[Lea Michele]

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[Sponsor Voice]

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[Bowen Yang]

This time of year always makes me rethink what's in my closet. BO I'm trying to keep fewer things but better ones. Pieces that are well made and easier to wear all the time. That's why I keep coming back to Quince. The fabrics feel elevated, the fits are thoughtful and the pricing actually makes sense.

[Lea Michele]

Quince makes high quality everyday essentials using premium materials like 100% European linen and their insanely soft flow knit activewear fabric. Their men's linen pants and shirts are lightweight, breathable and comfortable, basically the perfect layer for spring. The pants strike the right balance between laid back and refined so you look put together without trying too hard.

[Bowen Yang]

And they're flowknit activewear, moisture wicking, anti odor and soft enough that you'll actually wanna wear it all day.

[Lea Michele]

The best part is that their prices are 50 to 60% less than similar brands. How Quince works directly with ethical factories and cuts out the middlemen. So you're paying for quality, not brand market makeup. Everything is designed to last and makes getting dressed easy.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah, you know, anything from Quint is great, but I gotta say, I do love a cashmere sweater. I just like the way it drapes on my body. What can I say? Quince, I love the way you feel. Also, shout out to the linen pants. Shout out linen pants.

[Lea Michele]

Refresh your wardrobe with quince. Go to quince.com coldturistas for fee, free shipping and 365 day returns now available in Canada too. Go to q u I-n c e.com culturistas for free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com culturistas

[Bowen Yang]

oh, hear that?

[Matt Rogers]

That's the spam brand singing you a love song.

[Bowen Yang]

Spam, sizzle, pork and mmm.

[Lea Michele]

Book a loved by guest property with VRBO and you get a top rated vacation rental that's loved for all the right reasons, like being in a great

[Jonathan Groff]

location or having great amen.

[Matt Rogers]

Ugh.

[Sponsor Voice]

I love my VRBO for the view.

[Lea Michele]

Good reason.

[Sponsor Voice]

Ooh, and the sauna.

[Bowen Yang]

Sweet.

[Lea Michele]

Another good reason.

[Sponsor Voice]

And that it's one of those good saunas with the hot rock thing. Ugh. Love a good hot rock thing. Fancy.

[Lea Michele]

That's also a reason. Don't worry about surprises. Book a verbo you'll love with the love by guest filter. If you know you verbo.

[Matt Rogers]

Do you watch Euphoria Part 3?

[Lea Michele]

I'm opting out of this season.

[Bowen Yang]

What?

[Matt Rogers]

She. You'll get in. You'll get the floor.

[Bowen Yang]

I'll get in on the highlights.

[Matt Rogers]

She wore this gown to Sidney and Jacob's wedding. Oh, my God.

[Bowen Yang]

I've seen pretty much everything that involves Alexa. I did like the scene where she walks in and she was like, hi, I want to work for you.

[Matt Rogers]

She's so.

[Bowen Yang]

And she spins a little monologue and I was like, I like that monologue.

[Matt Rogers]

Like in season one, when she slams the locker and yells at Sydney Sweeney. When they like. I don't know, like, she's so.

[Jonathan Groff]

I used to have it memorized. That was me. I did that. She didn't do that.

[Matt Rogers]

I was really.

[Lea Michele]

And you're also a Julio Torres muse. Absolute like her.

[Jonathan Groff]

One of his great muses.

[Bowen Yang]

One of the fun things about Euphoria is that it imagines a world where everything violence someone does is slamming someone's head into something they like that. Every scene is someone gets their head slammed so hard into a railing, wall, or surface so much so that it would crack in half. And you hear a sound that suggests it cracks in half.

[Matt Rogers]

And yet it doesn't.

[Bowen Yang]

People survive these days.

[Matt Rogers]

And all these people from high school are still good friends with a drug addict's drug dealer.

[Jonathan Groff]

That's the one girl that he also.

[Lea Michele]

Well, they're the funnest people and have various jobs or non jobs and can afford Bottega.

[Bowen Yang]

Yes, yes, yes.

[Lea Michele]

Well, he's in debt, right? And he's wearing Bottega. Incredible.

[Matt Rogers]

And that'll get you in debt.

[Lea Michele]

That'll get you in debt.

[Bowen Yang]

That'll get you in debt.

[Lea Michele]

Trust me.

[Bowen Yang]

Trust?

[Jonathan Groff]

Ask seduction trust. Diana, my wife.

[Bowen Yang]

Diana Weisz, your wife?

[Jonathan Groff]

She's in debt, Mama.

[Matt Rogers]

She's in debt.

[Bowen Yang]

It's hard in art publicity right now.

[Matt Rogers]

Totally. No one's buying paintings. They're not buying paintings anymore.

[Jonathan Groff]

People are not buying paintings.

[Matt Rogers]

Curled red dogs.

[Bowen Yang]

What would you do as an art publicist? Because I know they exist. I should just ask my wife.

[Jonathan Groff]

You know what I would do?

[Matt Rogers]

It's your wife, honey.

[Bowen Yang]

You guys would do bitch.

[Jonathan Groff]

I would go to museums. Such as Guggenheim.

[Matt Rogers]

Sure.

[Jonathan Groff]

I would go to the paintings. Loudly.

[Matt Rogers]

Go.

[Jonathan Groff]

I like this stuff. Shame you can't buy it. Wonder why you could.

[Matt Rogers]

My sister, Amy Jo Jackson went on Tamara and Titus Andronicus off Broadway. Tamara being the lead. And there was a guy next to my dad taking notes and he was like, do you think that's a reviewer? And I was like, just keep talk. Wow, that Tamra sure is something, huh? Trying to get my dad to. But I don't know if it was a reviewer.

[Bowen Yang]

The audience seemed to love it.

[Matt Rogers]

Really a buzz about the Tamra cover. Wow, that Tamara sure was something.

[Bowen Yang]

It probably was a reviewer, right? If it was just someone scribbling down

[Matt Rogers]

Shakespeare or a writer student or a writer who got a great idea. Yeah, right. Writer who got a drink.

[Jonathan Groff]

Did you ever bloggist a boy wizard

[Bowen Yang]

back in your UCB day? J.K. rowling, back in your UCB days, did you ever see students scribbling along as you slayed it in progress?

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah, during Herald Night. It was crazy. Yeah, just put that book down, you fucking losers.

[Bowen Yang]

Watch me fly. When did you as a teacher just want to say, like, listen, you either have it or you don't.

[Matt Rogers]

I said at the first class every day.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah, and I don't.

[Matt Rogers]

Don't, don't have, don't.

[Jonathan Groff]

Yeah, but sometimes his don't make it.

[Bowen Yang]

Here's who's gonna make it based on looks. You, you, you kinda.

[Matt Rogers]

Kinda fix the nose.

[Bowen Yang]

Oh, gosh. Shouldn't you notice that in this one

[Jonathan Groff]

shoal at I heart.

[Bowen Yang]

You got it. Stand up straight.

[Matt Rogers]

You slouch, you have to show a hole.

[Lea Michele]

At the hallway with the crazy hallway with the radio.

[Jonathan Groff]

Anything you need.

[Lea Michele]

Thank you.

[Bowen Yang]

We just need that one thing.

[Jonathan Groff]

Anything you need.

[Matt Rogers]

Anything you need.

[Jonathan Groff]

This is in this space, a hallway. In this space.

[Lea Michele]

The hallway on the 12th FL.

[Matt Rogers]

The one, you know, the funky one.

[Lea Michele]

The funky one.

[Jonathan Groff]

Oh, anything you need.

[Bowen Yang]

You know who was in there? Nicole Scherzinger and who they call the covered in quote unquote pussycat Dolls. Were all dancing around. Well, I just. It's basically Nicole Scherzinger featuring whatever girls are on.

[Jonathan Groff]

The modern era of it.

[Lea Michele]

Yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

Back in the day they had names.

[Jonathan Groff]

Exactly.

[Bowen Yang]

There was one named Melody.

[Lea Michele]

Melody.

[Jonathan Groff]

I think there were two or three named Melody.

[Bowen Yang]

I don't know if that could be true.

[Lea Michele]

I don't know if that can be true.

[Jonathan Groff]

I think it was a couple of melodies.

[Bowen Yang]

They necessarily had melodies at any time in the world.

[Lea Michele]

There are only three melodies in circulation.

[Matt Rogers]

One of them was on the show. Hey, dude. Played by. Oh God. This is bad that I can't remember her name.

[Lea Michele]

Rachel.

[Matt Rogers]

Search party.

[Bowen Yang]

Oh, Christine.

[Matt Rogers]

This is bad.

[Bowen Yang]

We're gay.

[Jonathan Groff]

We're not.

[Lea Michele]

Christine Taylor's amazing.

[Matt Rogers]

All that. Christine Taylor played Melody.

[Bowen Yang]

Can I say something? You know she and Ben Stiller took a break and got back together.

[Matt Rogers]

Take a break. Stay up.

[Jonathan Groff]

Stay for the summer.

[Bowen Yang]

Let's go out to while you write. Severin Season three. I can't deal with you when you're doing this. I imagine he has.

[Matt Rogers]

You'd be a good Curtis too.

[Lea Michele]

Oh my God.

[Jonathan Groff]

Two headed Curtis.

[Lea Michele]

Two headed white Curtis.

[Matt Rogers]

There's something there.

[Bowen Yang]

They were looking to update dream girl. So two headed white Curtis and a skinny.

[Jonathan Groff]

Can I say I think this is an at home episode.

[Bowen Yang]

Hello, Waiter. Waiter.

[Matt Rogers]

Servers.

[Bowen Yang]

What do you mean it's an at home episode?

[Matt Rogers]

He was doing a callback.

[Lea Michele]

He's doing a callback to the waitress who said that's. That's for at home.

[Jonathan Groff]

That's that. You see what he's training, doll.

[Bowen Yang]

Okay.

[Matt Rogers]

Do you think most comedies my love, most comedies call?

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

Isn't it recognition?

[Lea Michele]

Yeah.

[Bowen Yang]

Do you think laughter is recognition or surprise?

[Jonathan Groff]

Oh, I do.

[Bowen Yang]

I was never good at knowing when the callback was for a second beat.

[Matt Rogers]

That's not true.

[Lea Michele]

Oh no, that's not true, Aaron.

[Bowen Yang]

Yes, it was.

[Matt Rogers]

No, Matt, it wasn't.

[Bowen Yang]

You thought I was good at second beats. If that was my skill.

[Jonathan Groff]

I was your improv coach.

[Matt Rogers]

After that.

[Bowen Yang]

You were my improv coach and you thought second beats was my big skill and not your energy and enthusiasm and commitment?

[Matt Rogers]

Funny was your big skill.

[Bowen Yang]

Funny. Big eyes, big mouth like big mouth like my sister. Like my aunt sister.

[Jonathan Groff]

Where should the four of my big mouth. Where should the four of us do a hair, Harold?

[Lea Michele]

Beacon.

[Jonathan Groff]

Beacon.

[Bowen Yang]

Can we actually get real about four of the tours?

[Lea Michele]

Let's get real about four of the tours.

[Bowen Yang]

You know, we did receive an offer.

[Jonathan Groff]

We gotta get our teams to talk.

[Matt Rogers]

But bit born in this very room.

[Jonathan Groff]

It's becoming real. We can't feed them too Much.

[Lea Michele]

My only bump is that it is coke.

[Bowen Yang]

It's coke and some K. If you're. If you're rich.

[Matt Rogers]

If you.

[Jonathan Groff]

All these razor burns.

[Bowen Yang]

K more expensive. Yes.

[Jonathan Groff]

Because of Iran.

[Matt Rogers]

The war, brother.

[Bowen Yang]

Are you. Are we getting your K from Iran? From Kennedy?

[Jonathan Groff]

Gas prices up. K prices up.

[Bowen Yang]

I don't think that's true.

[Jonathan Groff]

I don't think that's open. The Straits let in the K. The.

[Bowen Yang]

If it's called.

[Matt Rogers]

Just kidding.

[Jonathan Groff]

Y' all just tour.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah, for the tour.

[Bowen Yang]

I tour be like.

[Lea Michele]

My dream is for it to be a tour in one city, which is King's Theater, Beacon Theater, Radio City. Like, it's like only in New York City. We're touring four big venues in New York.

[Jonathan Groff]

My King, King's Theater, Beacon theater, Radio City, UCB,

[Lea Michele]

14th one.

[Bowen Yang]

I think we're gonna run into contract things with this. Unless we space them out.

[Jonathan Groff]

Well, then we'll have our teams deal with it.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

That's what teams are for, after all.

[Bowen Yang]

Didn't warm up.

[Matt Rogers]

Didn't warm.

[Lea Michele]

That interval is insane.

[Bowen Yang]

That's.

[Matt Rogers]

What is that, a six, a seven.

[Lea Michele]

Now?

[Jonathan Groff]

I think it's a perfect four.

[Bowen Yang]

It's very one of the stunners of Titanique. See it, the Tony nominated musical.

[Lea Michele]

It has a 10 week extension.

[Matt Rogers]

Oh, good. What does Titanique.

[Jonathan Groff]

Really?

[Bowen Yang]

Through September 20th.

[Jonathan Groff]

Breaking now.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah.

[Jonathan Groff]

I didn't know that was.

[Matt Rogers]

It's so good. It's the best.

[Lea Michele]

Thank God for it.

[Matt Rogers]

Thank God for it.

[Bowen Yang]

You know what else I Love? An 80 minute show on Broadway.

[Jonathan Groff]

Darling.

[Matt Rogers]

I still had to pee during Titanic. To be fair, I have seen it upwards of 45 times, so I knew it happened.

[Bowen Yang]

Did you hear who's doing Omari? Kamala.

[Lea Michele]

Kamala is doing.

[Matt Rogers]

Oh, Mary. She was replacing Maya. She's.

[Bowen Yang]

Yes.

[Lea Michele]

And they're doing little coconut tree jokes.

[Jonathan Groff]

No, she's Louise. She's Kamala's Louise.

[Matt Rogers]

She wanted to be second on the call sheet.

[Bowen Yang]

She's gonna. Well, she's. She's gonna learn both.

[Jonathan Groff]

She's gonna learn.

[Matt Rogers]

She's gonna learn both.

[Bowen Yang]

Because what happens is Vegas sometimes Kamala just wants to be in service. She's for the people. And so basically she just wants to do the supporting part some night.

[Jonathan Groff]

She said, which part is more vice. Yeah, you know, I saw.

[Matt Rogers]

I heard. I didn't see that. She took all the Cowboy Carter merch off the website.

[Bowen Yang]

Oh, yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

So it's coming.

[Bowen Yang]

And put just a picture of Stevie

[Jonathan Groff]

Nicks and the girls.

[Matt Rogers]

Josh's hole.

[Jonathan Groff]

So now I can resell all my Cowboy Carter merch for Money. I've been hoarding it like Beanie Babies.

[Lea Michele]

It's appreciated so much.

[Matt Rogers]

Did you know that I found a Princess Diana Beanie Baby in Charleston? Wait, not Charleston. Sorry. Colonial Williamsburg.

[Jonathan Groff]

Thank you for apologizing.

[Bowen Yang]

Where did you find it?

[Matt Rogers]

At a thrift store.

[Lea Michele]

Oh, my God.

[Matt Rogers]

I walked into the thrift store for fun.

[Bowen Yang]

With the tag on.

[Matt Rogers]

Honey. Yes.

[Jonathan Groff]

Remember when Beanie Babies was gold?

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah. They still are.

[Jonathan Groff]

Honey.

[Matt Rogers]

And she sits atop my dresser right now. Place of honor.

[Bowen Yang]

Do you have any idea.

[Jonathan Groff]

Don't say that.

[Bowen Yang]

You're gonna be rich. How much did you buy her?

[Matt Rogers]

Okay, the thing is, I went into the store just for fun. I saw one Beanie Baby and thought, huh, this was a giant. Like an antique mall giant. And I thought, wouldn't it be fun if I found a Princess Dye Beanie Baby? Kind of as a lark. I went through every single aisle, skipped one weirdly, and then didn't find tons of Beanie Babies. Never found one. I was like, oh, let. Let me go back to that last aisle. There she was in a case.

[Bowen Yang]

Stop.

[Matt Rogers]

Price tag hidden. I couldn't see. And I said. So I went. Talked to the person. I said, can you come unlock her and let me see how much she is?

[Bowen Yang]

Oh, my God. Like, it was fucking.

[Jonathan Groff]

She was a good clue. She was October. $11.

[Matt Rogers]

What? The woman unlocked her and said, you reminded me. I got two of these on my dresser. Cost me a lot more than $11. And I said, market's good. I'm gonna buy her. And now she lives with me. I kinda wanna make her into a hat or a brooch.

[Bowen Yang]

Oh, no.

[Matt Rogers]

Just, like, for one night only. I'm not gonna. But I kind of want to wear her out.

[Jonathan Groff]

I think you should ruin her.

[Bowen Yang]

Is she in mint condish?

[Jonathan Groff]

Finish her.

[Matt Rogers]

It looks as if hot off ties presses now. She's gorgeous. What a color.

[Lea Michele]

What a color. Now, you were in Colonial Williamsburg. Did seeing it sort of break the spell for you that you were sort of in the old times, seeing Diana? Yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

No, I will say they didn't have

[Jonathan Groff]

Beanie Babies back then.

[Matt Rogers]

A lot of the. What are they called? Reenactors. They themselves broke the spell.

[Bowen Yang]

Did they really?

[Matt Rogers]

Well, me and Michael, I went with my legally wedded spouse, Michael.

[Bowen Yang]

For now.

[Matt Rogers]

For now, divorce is real.

[Bowen Yang]

No, no, no. I was just talking about all of us losing our rights. If you get divorced, that's your business. That's your business. I was just telling the audience that our rights are at risk. You. Whatever. If you get divorced, that's your problem.

[Matt Rogers]

That's your risk.

[Bowen Yang]

Please keep it off the mic on a comedy podcast.

[Matt Rogers]

Okay, so we see this woman. She's at the entrance to one of the buildings, and she's singing like an old Tammy tune. And we loved her. We're like, we have to go talk to her.

[Jonathan Groff]

Yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

So we went and talked to her.

[Jonathan Groff]

We're like, hi.

[Matt Rogers]

How much to like what? You know, like, where are we trying to get to here? Or whatever. And she goes, use the app. We're like, oh, it's not her fault. But she's like, you have to go download the app. And what? I'm like, they wouldn't have said this. They would have offered me better. Of course.

[Bowen Yang]

I hope she had been like, I mean, use the apple. Throw it in there. Wherever it lands is north.

[Jonathan Groff]

Use the app.

[Bowen Yang]

Election trail lands.

[Jonathan Groff]

Is north.

[Matt Rogers]

Due north where the apple lands. It was sad. And she went back to humming her tune, and it was Colonial Williamsburg.

[Jonathan Groff]

Do better, please.

[Matt Rogers]

It ain't what it was.

[Jonathan Groff]

You would be really good at colonial Williamsburg.

[Bowen Yang]

Why do you think?

[Matt Rogers]

Because you're a natural person.

[Jonathan Groff]

You're a committed actress. And a committed actress.

[Bowen Yang]

I'd just be churning butter in the corner.

[Jonathan Groff]

Oh, honey.

[Matt Rogers]

Hot jerking that hog.

[Lea Michele]

Do you guys think there were effeminate Asians in colonial Williamsburg that I could play?

[Jonathan Groff]

It was mostly.

[Matt Rogers]

Yes. You think you're a feminist.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah, I was gonna say, you think you're effeminate.

[Lea Michele]

Absolutely. Look at my little bracelets and rings.

[Bowen Yang]

Well, that's something that you've put on. That's not your mannerisms.

[Lea Michele]

Well, wouldn't you call my mannerisms effeminate?

[Bowen Yang]

Show us your things again.

[Jonathan Groff]

Show us your holes again.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah, you wink those hands. All gay. Effeminate girl.

[Jonathan Groff]

I like that.

[Bowen Yang]

You are effeminate.

[Matt Rogers]

You are effeminate. Who's the most masc of the four of us? That's a really tough race between Josh and Matt.

[Lea Michele]

Josh and Matt.

[Matt Rogers]

But that's really sad if that's where we're at.

[Lea Michele]

You two code switch may be the most effective.

[Jonathan Groff]

What the you say?

[Lea Michele]

Yeah, there you go. You know. You know how Jeff Hiller describes acting straight in the. In such a helpful way? It's.

[Bowen Yang]

It's.

[Lea Michele]

You imagine all the blood slowly leaving your face.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah, you gotta. You can't do any of that.

[Jonathan Groff]

Yeah.

[Bowen Yang]

What's up? Can't give you what you want from me.

[Matt Rogers]

Give you what you want.

[Jonathan Groff]

Worship Satan.

[Bowen Yang]

Why? Why are your arms able to go up that high?

[Matt Rogers]

That's true.

[Jonathan Groff]

Yeah.

[Bowen Yang]

That is another good rule. Like, straight guys can't lift their Arms motions.

[Matt Rogers]

Try right, right, right. What's up?

[Bowen Yang]

Go ahead.

[Matt Rogers]

Just.

[Bowen Yang]

Can you. How high can you lift your arms?

[Jonathan Groff]

It's not high at all.

[Bowen Yang]

Oh, my God.

[Jonathan Groff]

Are you gay?

[Bowen Yang]

Don't show him. No. I thought for a second you were gonna go feral.

[Lea Michele]

You would have.

[Matt Rogers]

Pause.

[Lea Michele]

Pause. You're too gay.

[Bowen Yang]

Listen, okay, if I'm gonna say it's a straight off between me and Josh, that's really rough.

[Lea Michele]

That should be for the tour.

[Matt Rogers]

For the tour. Oh, we could do a straight off.

[Lea Michele]

We could do a straight off.

[Bowen Yang]

Here's what I'll say. You tend to like much straighter music and arts and culture than.

[Matt Rogers]

That's true.

[Lea Michele]

You're culturally straight.

[Bowen Yang]

I would say, behaviorally, I am straighter than you. It's the long island.

[Matt Rogers]

It's the long island in you. Yeah.

[Jonathan Groff]

Understood and accepted.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah. We protect ourselves in different ways out here.

[Jonathan Groff]

Never calling my lawyer.

[Lea Michele]

Air and I actually have very alike interests in terms of video games and

[Matt Rogers]

anime, which is also really straight.

[Jonathan Groff]

Yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

Actually game, anime, stoner, like that kind of shit is kind of straight.

[Jonathan Groff]

We're actually all really straight in a man. We're realizing we're all really straight. And mask.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah. Especially when we sing.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah. Vibrato is inherently extremely gay. Why are your voice shaking like that?

[Bowen Yang]

Why your voice shaking?

[Matt Rogers]

Hold it steady. Hold it steady.

[Bowen Yang]

Boy, I've been really enjoying this part of my voice.

[Jonathan Groff]

Would you describe that

[Bowen Yang]

you make an NG sound and you just go hard

[Jonathan Groff]

and you bury it back too. It's coming from the back of the.

[Bowen Yang]

No, that's safe. He never said it wasn't safe.

[Matt Rogers]

It's buried.

[Jonathan Groff]

Can we all try and you give notes on how we're doing the technique? Okay. I'd love to try.

[Matt Rogers]

That's good.

[Lea Michele]

Really good.

[Jonathan Groff]

How was that?

[Bowen Yang]

Really good. Oh, too much mouth going on. On. Oh, okay.

[Matt Rogers]

Fierce, fierce, fierce.

[Bowen Yang]

No, now give it again.

[Matt Rogers]

Really good.

[Bowen Yang]

So good.

[Matt Rogers]

Okay.

[Bowen Yang]

Really good.

[Matt Rogers]

Hot, Hot.

[Bowen Yang]

I might be leaving Diana Vice after

[Matt Rogers]

this episode for a polycule of mask giga.

[Bowen Yang]

Let's get really into brass tack. You have to date seriously for at least a year. Sex and all. One star, actress, singer, or more of Hollywood.

[Matt Rogers]

Cameron Diaz in the Mask.

[Bowen Yang]

Cameron Diaz in the Mask. Hottest woman. We were

[Matt Rogers]

somebody. God damn it. I can't remember her. Some gay guy recently posted. Like, wait, I was talking to gay guys and they're like, what's the hottest woman a woman's ever been in a movie? And he's like, my friend says Faye Dunaway in network. And that's what I slammed into the DMs and said, Y' all are faggots.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah, this is not.

[Matt Rogers]

And I said, it's Cameron Diaz in the mask. And they were like, wait, a woman we're with said that? And then I asked some straight boys I was with, and one of them said, I can't remember. Some kind of, like, bond girly thing. And then one of them was like, I would probably say Cameron Diaz in the mask. He's like, I used to kiss pictures of her when I was little.

[Lea Michele]

Whoa.

[Bowen Yang]

Like in a magazine.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah, in a magazine.

[Bowen Yang]

She did.

[Lea Michele]

Really?

[Matt Rogers]

She was va va voom.

[Lea Michele]

She was like, you've never seen anyone more beautiful.

[Jonathan Groff]

She made the mask go crazy.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah.

[Jonathan Groff]

His eyes went all. Whoops. His eyes were bulging out. That's how hot she was.

[Matt Rogers]

I think I would love to date Cameron Diaz in the mask. Seriously. For one year.

[Bowen Yang]

And sexually, you know who straight guys love? Ana de Armas.

[Lea Michele]

Yeah, she's very beautiful. Totally. I was gonna say, no joke. Cameron Diaz in Charlie's Angels one.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah, yeah. Gorgeous. Gorgeous in there as well.

[Lea Michele]

When she does the hair top, when she flips her hair to Luke Wilson,

[Matt Rogers]

I'm like, I saw Cameron Diaz in irl. I was in Vail, Colorado, buying a

[Bowen Yang]

truly heinous angora sweater. Whoever said orange was the new pink was ser. Seriously disturbed.

[Matt Rogers]

But this woman came off the slopes, had, like, goggles on. I was sitting, having a hot cocoa or whatever, and I was like, damn, that lady's pretty. Took off the goggles, literally shook her hair. It was Cameron Diaz. She looked perfect. And I swear to God, 11 children, like, ran up to her, and they

[Jonathan Groff]

were 11 Cameron, like, a bunch.

[Bowen Yang]

And she was like, hello.

[Jonathan Groff]

Like, she was like, Trojan Piper coming.

[Matt Rogers]

Like little kids.

[Lea Michele]

Magical.

[Matt Rogers]

And it was as if she was like their, like, aunt fresh off the

[Bowen Yang]

slopes in a non drug way.

[Matt Rogers]

And 11 children threw her hair around.

[Jonathan Groff]

Children. I was like, this is crazy. That's a Diaz dozen. Is a baker's dozen. 11 is a Diaz dozen. It was incredible.

[Bowen Yang]

Diaz dozen of dozens. This is roller culture. Number 11. 11. That's a Diaz dozen.

[Lea Michele]

Now, it is incredible what she's done in the Filipino community.

[Jonathan Groff]

Oh, yeah.

[Bowen Yang]

Filipino Lumpia. That clip is.

[Lea Michele]

She is revered.

[Bowen Yang]

Lumpia adobo.

[Lea Michele]

I've had it every day.

[Jonathan Groff]

I had it every day.

[Lea Michele]

Rice. My friends made the best rice.

[Matt Rogers]

Lumpia lumpia.

[Lea Michele]

Lumpia adobo. And she just makes the face.

[Jonathan Groff]

It's incredible.

[Lea Michele]

The face, which is. I don't know what the face is.

[Bowen Yang]

I think it's just Cameron face. It's just Cameron face. Just Cameron Russian.

[Jonathan Groff]

It's just that thing only she can bring.

[Matt Rogers]

What movie would you fall in love with Cameron Diaz too?

[Jonathan Groff]

Great question with you with the original question. Oh, Charlie's Angels 2, of course.

[Matt Rogers]

Full throttle. Full throttle.

[Bowen Yang]

You know what's an underrated one?

[Jonathan Groff]

Huh?

[Bowen Yang]

Bad Teacher.

[Matt Rogers]

I've never seen Bad Teacher.

[Bowen Yang]

She's very funny in Bad Teacher.

[Jonathan Groff]

She's the teacher or.

[Bowen Yang]

No, she is the bad teacher. She like smokes out her car and

[Matt Rogers]

like, you know, like she hot boxes.

[Bowen Yang]

She hooks up with Justin Timberlake, but he like. But he comes in his pants. They don't have sex.

[Matt Rogers]

That's very something about Mary.

[Bowen Yang]

This is after they had broken up, by the way. Professionals.

[Jonathan Groff]

Professionalism, my love.

[Lea Michele]

What's the movie with Toni Collette?

[Bowen Yang]

Oh, oh. In Her Shoes.

[Lea Michele]

In Her Shoes.

[Jonathan Groff]

Wild Party.

[Lea Michele]

It was not wild party.

[Jonathan Groff]

It was a joke. The joke was I said the wrong wild party.

[Matt Rogers]

That's Julia Murney.

[Jonathan Groff]

I know. That's what the joke was.

[Lea Michele]

Early days IMDb. I'm clicking on all these actresses pages, seeing what is in pre production.

[Matt Rogers]

Pre pro.

[Lea Michele]

What was in pre pro at the time for Cameron Diaz and Toni Collette, two actresses.

[Jonathan Groff]

I loved IMDb, a movie called I Melt dat Bussy.

[Lea Michele]

There you go.

[Matt Rogers]

Go ahead, melt.

[Lea Michele]

The movie was In Her Shoes. In pre production. I go. I'm gonna be following this movie obsessively to this day.

[Matt Rogers]

You still do.

[Lea Michele]

And here's the twist.

[Jonathan Groff]

It's still in pre pro.

[Lea Michele]

Still.

[Bowen Yang]

You never saw it.

[Lea Michele]

Still never. Still haven't seen.

[Bowen Yang]

Forget it. You're not going to the jock strap party tonight.

[Jonathan Groff]

We're watching In Her Shoes with Orna.

[Bowen Yang]

Honey, it's the Shirley Mlan vehicle to end all Shirley Mlan vehicles.

[Jonathan Groff]

Talk back, hosted by Dr. Orna.

[Bowen Yang]

Actually, knowing that you did this is important I love because I did the same thing. And this was also. Were you like a little awards gay? Because you remember it had. It had awards buzz.

[Lea Michele]

It had awards buzz. I was on the message boards.

[Bowen Yang]

Oh, my God. I was devastated when it fell off awards predictions. I was like. But it. I wanted In Her Shoes to go all the way based just on Lazarus.

[Lea Michele]

That really is a great title.

[Jonathan Groff]

In Her Shoes.

[Bowen Yang]

It was a book.

[Matt Rogers]

Huh?

[Bowen Yang]

I love that. I don't. I'm not behind that. Mine probably is. I'm not behind that.

[Matt Rogers]

It was a book. It was a book bestseller.

[Bowen Yang]

It feels like a. It feels like the title of a movie that. Where you're like, that was a book. That was a book.

[Matt Rogers]

Name another one that you about a boy.

[Lea Michele]

Devil Wears Prada too.

[Matt Rogers]

I saw it last night.

[Jonathan Groff]

Harry Potter.

[Bowen Yang]

Can you give us a review? What's the review of Devil's Prada?

[Matt Rogers]

They are like three. Well, Stanley Chucci too, but there's like three of the most famous people. Sometimes when they're like doing shocks.

[Bowen Yang]

If you really think about it.

[Matt Rogers]

Who am I thinking about?

[Bowen Yang]

Are you missing out?

[Jonathan Groff]

Kayla Perrin?

[Bowen Yang]

Are you missing out Emily Blunt, Anne Hathaway or the Meryl strength?

[Matt Rogers]

I'm talking about those three.

[Lea Michele]

Yeah.

[Bowen Yang]

And Stanley.

[Matt Rogers]

Stanley. I was like, you know, but like, they, they. It was like nuts because in the first one, of course, Meryl was. But Emily was just showing up and Anne was famous, but not like. So it was just like sometimes they're in shots together and you're like, damn, y'. All. Like, this is like movie stars.

[Jonathan Groff]

What do you think the actor?

[Matt Rogers]

I think it was very fun. It's not as good as number one, but it's very. But it's very.

[Jonathan Groff]

How much did they spend on acting? Actor and actress salaries for DWP probably

[Matt Rogers]

got upwards of 100k.

[Bowen Yang]

You know what?

[Jonathan Groff]

Actually, what's day rate times four?

[Bowen Yang]

No, you know what? I bet I bet parody for all three of them.

[Lea Michele]

Most favored nations parody.

[Bowen Yang]

Favorite nations.

[Jonathan Groff]

Like they were making fun of something.

[Lea Michele]

Yes, I bet.

[Bowen Yang]

Bet 12.5 each.

[Lea Michele]

12 point.

[Jonathan Groff]

12.5 each.

[Matt Rogers]

That's less than I would have billion dollar.

[Jonathan Groff]

But it's a different culture. Do you think they get back end?

[Bowen Yang]

Yes, I think get back.

[Matt Rogers]

So you think they do anal.

[Jonathan Groff]

I'm about to give you all back in.

[Lea Michele]

Come on. Yes.

[Bowen Yang]

Let's keep the strap on this time. Now there has to be a.

[Lea Michele]

Don't pull down the DRO strap this time.

[Bowen Yang]

There we go.

[Lea Michele]

So nice.

[Bowen Yang]

There's. It's just as I remember.

[Lea Michele]

No ass. I'm. I have ass and you have. I do not.

[Bowen Yang]

Has been getting bigger. And you know what?

[Lea Michele]

You know, you notice.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah, you've noticed.

[Bowen Yang]

I look at everyone's butt. If you are looking away from me, darling, looking at your butt.

[Jonathan Groff]

The surgeries are working.

[Matt Rogers]

The surgeries are working.

[Lea Michele]

The shots. The shots. Matt has. Matt. Matt's has gotten so convex.

[Bowen Yang]

My ass is big.

[Jonathan Groff]

Your globe.

[Bowen Yang]

You don't have to take it off.

[Matt Rogers]

Show ass.

[Bowen Yang]

I'm not gonna take it. Look at that.

[Lea Michele]

It's so big. It's so shapely.

[Matt Rogers]

It's fat. Mine's bigger than it was, but I think it's maybe age.

[Bowen Yang]

It's one of my favorite things about.

[Jonathan Groff]

Oh, look at this. This is so. Honey, this is so special.

[Matt Rogers]

I love the Josh and Aaron Episodes. They get so real.

[Jonathan Groff]

Yeah, they get so real and so pitchfork.

[Bowen Yang]

Just like, ever since I was little, the first thing people would always say about me. And I know this is crazy to complain about, but it's always like, oh, my God. Like, I was like, three or four.

[Jonathan Groff]

You're such a fat ass.

[Bowen Yang]

Fat fucking ass. Like, it just made me feel like growing up, like, that was the good thing about me.

[Lea Michele]

And it is.

[Bowen Yang]

Oh, my God.

[Jonathan Groff]

Always forget. I'd just be like, I would love

[Bowen Yang]

to be told I was smart or, like, funny.

[Jonathan Groff]

But you're not.

[Matt Rogers]

You're not, hon.

[Bowen Yang]

And I'm just gonna have, like, a fat ass.

[Matt Rogers]

You're just a big, fat.

[Bowen Yang]

I do remember you're just a fat ass.

[Matt Rogers]

When you used to not want to bottom this. We're going way into the past.

[Bowen Yang]

I remember thinking, what a shame.

[Lea Michele]

What a waste.

[Matt Rogers]

You've changed.

[Bowen Yang]

I've actually apologized to Henry about it.

[Lea Michele]

Oh, good.

[Jonathan Groff]

Cause I think that he said, not accepted.

[Bowen Yang]

No. He was like, oh, oh, that's nice

[Jonathan Groff]

of you to say.

[Bowen Yang]

Didn't need it.

[Lea Michele]

Didn't need it.

[Bowen Yang]

I didn't need you to pod it. Just because I had, like, bottom fear.

[Lea Michele]

Yeah, you.

[Matt Rogers]

I remember you said, you watch porn and you watch them bottom, and you want that.

[Bowen Yang]

And I was like, yeah, it must have been, like, 24.

[Matt Rogers]

You're like, it looks like it. Yes. Yes, truly, you little boy. You're like, they look like they're in pain. Yes, they are. But then it turns good.

[Bowen Yang]

Well, I remember you said to me, this is truly, like, how you know there are elders. You were like. You were like. No, I didn't mean elders. I just mean, like, taught us a lot.

[Matt Rogers]

Sure. Of course.

[Bowen Yang]

You said to me, well, it hurts every time, but that actually becomes part of it and becomes part of what's good about it. And I was like, yes. And you were taught famously, who also taught a lot, said. And this actually made a lot of difference. He just said one time on. On RuPaul's Drag Race, apropos of nothing, if you want it, it will not hurt.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah, you do have to want it sometimes.

[Bowen Yang]

It is crazy for hours for the same ex.

[Jonathan Groff]

For the tour. The hours. And we just do the hours.

[Matt Rogers]

We would be.

[Jonathan Groff]

Wait.

[Matt Rogers]

Let's. Let's dream.

[Jonathan Groff]

Let's cast shadow the hours. Shadow. Oh, yeah. It's a shadow. Cast iron, horror style.

[Bowen Yang]

This actually is really.

[Lea Michele]

This is.

[Matt Rogers]

This is hard. Okay, well, there's the three main girls, and then there's this.

[Jonathan Groff]

Stanley. Tony.

[Lea Michele]

Stanley Tucci. No, Tony Collette.

[Matt Rogers]

Tony.

[Jonathan Groff]

That's the Stanley Tucci of the hour.

[Bowen Yang]

That's the Stanley. Okay, but can we.

[Lea Michele]

That's rule of gold or number 76.

[Bowen Yang]

Tony Collette is the Stanley Tucci of the hours. It's true. True. And if. When they do the Hours too, she's gonna have a huge part. But. But can we actually talk about the support, the supporting women of the Hours? Because we. I know we're saying Toni Coll, but

[Jonathan Groff]

maybe y' all need to be supporting women.

[Lea Michele]

There was a red Claire Danes.

[Matt Rogers]

Ed Harris.

[Bowen Yang]

Certainly. Ed Harris.

[Lea Michele]

That's a sad one.

[Bowen Yang]

Ed Harris. That's a sad. Sort of a sad.

[Matt Rogers]

Sad ones.

[Bowen Yang]

But a straight gay icon in the same way that Stanley Tucci is.

[Matt Rogers]

Wait, who's the Ed Harris married to again?

[Jonathan Groff]

That's a classic. Like jump. Scare positive to learn that on the awards.

[Matt Rogers]

I loved that.

[Lea Michele]

Okay, so we gotta. We gotta cast this. The Hours.

[Bowen Yang]

Yes.

[Matt Rogers]

Oh, right. But I love Nicole, Julianne, Meryl, Tony. Oh, should we all be supporting girls?

[Lea Michele]

Oh, that's interesting.

[Matt Rogers]

And Cole Escola can be the three of them.

[Lea Michele]

Cole should be the three of them.

[Bowen Yang]

Or is Cole all. Everyone in the film.

[Matt Rogers]

Except we're watching it.

[Lea Michele]

And we're watching.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah. And we're watching.

[Matt Rogers]

There's something here.

[Lea Michele]

I do wanna. I kinda wanna call dibs on Tony in that movie. Cause you know what? She has the. To me, one of the most heartbreaking lines in the whole thing was after Julianne kisses her.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah.

[Lea Michele]

She goes. Huge. Such a good scene. Tense pause. And then. And then Tony goes, You're so sweet.

[Matt Rogers]

Mm.

[Lea Michele]

Devastating. Really good. I want Tony.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah, you can have Tony.

[Matt Rogers]

What are they?

[Bowen Yang]

Julian, Nicole.

[Lea Michele]

Julian, Nicole.

[Bowen Yang]

Meryl plays modern day Clarissa.

[Matt Rogers]

I can be. Since I've written a novel. I'll be Virginia Woolf.

[Bowen Yang]

Yes. Yes, you will. You will be Virginia Wolf.

[Matt Rogers]

Would you like the nose?

[Lea Michele]

Would you like the nose?

[Matt Rogers]

I would like the nose.

[Bowen Yang]

The nose is mandatory.

[Matt Rogers]

Nose is mandatory. And I'll really Meryl myself.

[Jonathan Groff]

I'm Meryl because I'm in the modern day.

[Bowen Yang]

Yes.

[Jonathan Groff]

Don't you feel I'm in the modern day?

[Matt Rogers]

You with that fat ass in a 50s housewife dress?

[Bowen Yang]

You're Julianne, super repressed and, like, bent over for Tony.

[Lea Michele]

That means you try to kiss me and I reject you.

[Bowen Yang]

That's hot.

[Lea Michele]

Oh, and then you bomber, you want

[Jonathan Groff]

to do it right now.

[Bowen Yang]

It does. It ruins. It ruins the close friendship forever.

[Lea Michele]

And then your son ends up killing himself.

[Matt Rogers]

Well, because he was going to die anyway.

[Bowen Yang]

Spoiler alert for the hours.

[Matt Rogers]

You guys watch the Hours before it was a movie.

[Bowen Yang]

Not Unlike what we think happened with the. Her shoes.

[Matt Rogers]

Not unlike in her shoes. Ed Harris dies at the end.

[Lea Michele]

This is a gorgeous challenge, right? Like, get four gay guys. Anyone can do this. Four G guys. To shut up.

[Bowen Yang]

To shut up. Fun challenge. Good luck.

[Lea Michele]

Good luck.

[Bowen Yang]

It's what all the producers in the room are thinking.

[Lea Michele]

Literally, they're like.

[Bowen Yang]

But they've all got on their phones. They've all started doing other things.

[Matt Rogers]

They're on Grindr.

[Bowen Yang]

Anna's on her computer. She's on Grindr.

[Lea Michele]

But this actually, this makes me my thing, this challenge. I want four games, guys. Put an hour and a half on the clock. Just start talking about the movies you love. I don't know. Just start talking about pop culture in a way.

[Bowen Yang]

Las cold Cheris. No, no, no.

[Lea Michele]

But you can't have phones to, like, check and affirm.

[Matt Rogers]

My uncle always says, like, when we're eating or whatever, and someone's like, who was the president then? And looks it up and he goes, a question never goes unanswered. Yeah, questions used to go unanswered.

[Lea Michele]

I know.

[Bowen Yang]

Isn't that crazy? That is a really fascinating, fascinating thing, I will say.

[Jonathan Groff]

Our friend and comedian Natasha Vaneblatt, they host a lot of dinner parties and they've started making them look sort of adamantly, no phone. And it's fun for the reasons of just like, not having the phone on the side. It also does that where you just go, like, who is that? And you all want to Google it. And you go. You just sort of talk it out. And sometimes you go, I guess I.

[Matt Rogers]

Only when you find it, it's really good.

[Jonathan Groff]

When you all find it, it feels really good.

[Matt Rogers]

Also, the mystery.

[Jonathan Groff]

And sometimes you don't find it and you just go, well. And you have to live in that.

[Bowen Yang]

Sometimes the butt goes through a lot. When the butt speaks, we listen.

[Lea Michele]

Preparation H is the butt K care expert known for helping people care for their hemorrhoids with confidence.

[Bowen Yang]

And because every situation is different, Preparation H offers relief in multiple forms that adapt to needs.

[Lea Michele]

Medicated wipes formulated with witch hazel, aloe and vitamin E to help keep things calm, cool and collected, even in the case of dreaded hemorrhoids.

[Bowen Yang]

And for moments that feel a bit more dramatic, the rapid relief spray with maximum strength lidocaine provides fast relief from itching, burning and swelling.

[Lea Michele]

There's also a multi symptom relief cream when broader support is needed.

[Bowen Yang]

It all works together as a simple system. A wipe, a cream spray, helping make life feel manageable again.

[Lea Michele]

I would love for that preparation age treats the issue rather than just masking it. No shame here, only solutions.

[Bowen Yang]

So if a butt has been begging for a little conflict, kindness, wipe and treat for better relief with the number one doctor recommended brand, Preparation H. Oh, hear that?

[Matt Rogers]

That's the Spam brand singing you a love song.

[Bowen Yang]

Spam, Sizzle, pork and M.

[Lea Michele]

Out here, if you're doing nothing, you're doing everything right. Though on a cruise with Norwegian, even if you're doing nothing, you're still basking in the warmth, sun, enjoying the peaceful ocean waves. You're breathing. Don't forget about breathing. Definitely need to be breathing. So you get to do nothing or everything, but you still need to be breathing. It's like really important.

[Matt Rogers]

Experience the difference with cruises to Alaska,

[Sponsor Voice]

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[Podcast Announcer]

and USA May is Mental Health Awareness Month and your 20s they can feel like the A Lot on the psychology of your 20s podcast we unpack the anxiety, the overthinking, the heartbreak, the identity crisis, all of it that comes with being in your 20s. Because if you've ever thought, is anybody else feeling this way? They definitely are.

[Sponsor Voice]

I feel like my 20s was a process of checking off everything that I was not good at to get to what I was good at. Oftentimes we take everything a little bit too seriously and we get lost in things that we later on decide weren't even important to us to begin with. There was a large chunk of my twenties that I like was just so wanting to like be out of that phase, out of my skin and I just like really regret not living in

[Podcast Announcer]

the present more each week we break down the science behind what you're going through and give you real tools to navigate it. Your 20s aren't about having it all figured out, they're about understanding yourself just a little bit bit better. Listen to the psychology of your 20s on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Sponsor Voice]

The story I've told myself about love or relationships can then shape my behavior and that can lead me to sabotage the possibility of connection. This Mental Health Awareness Month, tune into the podcast Deeply well with Debbie Brown and explore the journey of healing, self discovery and returning to yourself. We explore higher consciousness, emotional well being, and the practices that help you find clarity, peace and self mastery in a world that can feel overwhelming. The world is becoming lonelier, we're not becoming more social and connected. We're becoming more individualized, but we actually need people in connection. If you've been searching for a soft place to. To land while doing the work to become whole, this podcast is for you. To hear more, listen to Deeply well with Debbie Brown from the Black Effect Podcast Network on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast.

[Jonathan Groff]

Everyone say your favorite proper noun.

[Bowen Yang]

Okay.

[Jonathan Groff]

Zoe Kazan.

[Matt Rogers]

That's.

[Lea Michele]

Oh, yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

Diana Vice

[Bowen Yang]

Grande.

[Lea Michele]

Grape Danny Manoeu.

[Bowen Yang]

Oh, sorry, proper noun. But that's Grape Soda.

[Jonathan Groff]

Unless it's the name of, like, a drag.

[Bowen Yang]

Queep. Grape Soda. One of my close friends. Y' all don't know my girl Grape Soda. She's a riot. She's in prison. She's in prison, but I write to her every other week. Every other week.

[Matt Rogers]

Otherwise, my wrist cramps.

[Jonathan Groff]

Absolute.

[Bowen Yang]

Otherwise, you know what started to happen? Huh? And don't.

[Matt Rogers]

Don't tell the doctor.

[Bowen Yang]

Don't tell the doctor. Or do everyone just go like this naturally? Put your hands up. Yep, just get your hands up.

[Matt Rogers]

She said it 20 million times.

[Bowen Yang]

As I suspected, everyone's hands naturally are in, like, that. They're supposed to be more like a gravity doll.

[Jonathan Groff]

I was mimicking.

[Lea Michele]

Yeah, we were just mimicking.

[Bowen Yang]

So what do your hands naturally do?

[Jonathan Groff]

Oh, wait, no.

[Bowen Yang]

I guess what I mean is, like, at rest.

[Jonathan Groff]

At rest, do your fingers tell me to put my hands up. I'm going to just see what the body does naturally.

[Bowen Yang]

Hands up. Up at. Hands up. At wrist up. At rest. Everything's just big psychosexual joke to you.

[Matt Rogers]

I'm kind of shaky.

[Lea Michele]

Absolutely, absolutely.

[Bowen Yang]

What I'm saying is our phones have made our. The fact that we are at stasis. It's sort of like a carpal tunnel, but for the fingers.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah. So you like this? You think it should be like this

[Bowen Yang]

naturally, But I'm just saying, like, at rest, like, it's not supposed to be.

[Matt Rogers]

Should we pursue this Your hand and make.

[Jonathan Groff]

Because we've been doing that so much.

[Bowen Yang]

Oh, wow. Wait.

[Jonathan Groff]

Why does mine naturally do do this?

[Lea Michele]

That's so interesting.

[Jonathan Groff]

Why does mine naturally do this? What do you think this means?

[Bowen Yang]

It means you're around a lot of guys with weird cops. Wait, honey, you're ready for the eagle.

[Matt Rogers]

Big, big spoiler.

[Bowen Yang]

I don't know. Comedian, Physical comedian.

[Jonathan Groff]

Drama desk.

[Bowen Yang]

My lady cop. That's so cylindrical.

[Matt Rogers]

Huh? Bush is in. Jill Bush Hager is in. Divorce.

[Bowen Yang]

How'd she do?

[Matt Rogers]

She's great. It was in a scene with 400 cameos. It was literally like, boop, bada doop. Bada boom, bada doop. And screaming at the moment she was

[Bowen Yang]

nervous she would be cut. She didn't get cut. We're actually seeing her on tv. She's coming in on the pod and I'm cut. I'm happy to know she's not cut.

[Matt Rogers]

I screamed at the screen. Where's Matt?

[Jonathan Groff]

I did feel like Shakira.

[Bowen Yang]

Who?

[Matt Rogers]

I don't know Caleb very well, but he's in the movie. And I did feel like I hung out with him. You know when you see your friends and something and you're like, oh, that was fun. When I saw Caleb, he didn't. That was parasocial, doll.

[Lea Michele]

You've never hung out with him?

[Matt Rogers]

No, no, I've met him, but I mean, I don't know him well, but I was like, oh, that was nice that I got to hang out with Caleb.

[Jonathan Groff]

He must radiate on him screen.

[Lea Michele]

Yeah, that's good.

[Bowen Yang]

Oh, he definitely does. He was in this chair radiating.

[Matt Rogers]

Damn.

[Lea Michele]

Damn him.

[Bowen Yang]

Guys, please. Cuz it's a joke until you up the equipment. Because you know what? A lot of people worked really hard to set this up in culture.

[Jonathan Groff]

A lot of people worked really hard to set this up.

[Matt Rogers]

That's not even a number. It's just the number one rule of culture.

[Bowen Yang]

A lot of people goes above the list. Look, a lot of people worked really hard.

[Lea Michele]

Number one.

[Bowen Yang]

Number one.

[Lea Michele]

One.

[Bowen Yang]

Which actually is playing Alphabet is war.

[Matt Rogers]

That's the number one rule.

[Jonathan Groff]

That's number one.

[Lea Michele]

One of. One of a few.

[Jonathan Groff]

This is an obvious question. Someone keeps all of these somewhere. There's like a wiki. Your fans are putting them everywhere.

[Lea Michele]

Yeah.

[Jonathan Groff]

Or y' all do that.

[Lea Michele]

We do not do that. But I think there's one. There are a few devoted fans out there. Out there who update a living document like the Constitution.

[Bowen Yang]

Yes.

[Lea Michele]

Yes.

[Matt Rogers]

Devoted is a nice word.

[Jonathan Groff]

Yes.

[Lea Michele]

Devoted. I love devoted. I used the word devoted in. Oh, I said it last night at dinner. We cut a joke for one of our nominations, but.

[Bowen Yang]

Oh, I'm sorry.

[Lea Michele]

It was belly worship. And I was like, devote. I want to devote myself to belly worship.

[Matt Rogers]

Devote is good. Devote as hopelessly devoted.

[Jonathan Groff]

Devoted, my love.

[Bowen Yang]

We're just going to reveal this. One of the categories stories is Shrek award for top thing we want to do to that green guy. And one of the potential nominees was belly worship.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah.

[Bowen Yang]

But it got cut. It got cut in favor of what we felt were stronger nominees. But I guess we'll see. It'll be up to.

[Matt Rogers]

It's nice for the DVD.

[Lea Michele]

Sure.

[Bowen Yang]

By the way Shrek had some really good DVD extras.

[Jonathan Groff]

That was one of the good DVDs.

[Bowen Yang]

Cameron.

[Jonathan Groff]

That's something.

[Bowen Yang]

Cameron.

[Jonathan Groff]

Cameron.

[Matt Rogers]

Oh, my God. Maybe the. That's where she was.

[Jonathan Groff]

That's where she was hottest. That's. I want that for Dick so bad to do commentary.

[Matt Rogers]

I know. And they filmed all that behind the scenes footage.

[Jonathan Groff]

I know.

[Lea Michele]

Where is it?

[Jonathan Groff]

I don't know.

[Matt Rogers]

But they did in the vaults, honey. In Disney's vaults.

[Lea Michele]

Y' all have the vinyl and the Sewer Boys merch. Not enough.

[Jonathan Groff]

Good point.

[Bowen Yang]

You know, the talk back should be you two and Megan the.

[Matt Rogers]

Or Mole. Ally.

[Bowen Yang]

Oh, the.

[Jonathan Groff]

The.

[Lea Michele]

The. The.

[Bowen Yang]

Of course.

[Jonathan Groff]

The.

[Bowen Yang]

Megan Mulally is a huge rap artist.

[Matt Rogers]

She is a huge rap artist.

[Jonathan Groff]

Rap artist.

[Bowen Yang]

You can't get her in.

[Lea Michele]

I bet she would list the movie

[Matt Rogers]

in her Playbill bioheat.

[Bowen Yang]

Oh, I know.

[Matt Rogers]

Someone needs to go.

[Lea Michele]

Damn savage.

[Jonathan Groff]

I did see a gay guy on the subway the other day in three pieces of Megan Thee, Stallion, Moulin Rouge Merch, T shirt, Hat Tote. And I went, let's go.

[Bowen Yang]

All of it at once. I did watch the Megan Thee Stallion, Moulin rouge Medley. Approximately 200 years.

[Lea Michele]

It was huge.

[Jonathan Groff]

I mean, come on.

[Bowen Yang]

Smiling ear to earth? Absolutely. Like hell bent on buying a ticket. Yeah. She's like.

[Lea Michele]

It's. It's a different kind of stunt casting quote unquote when it's like, oh, you just let the person who is a natural live performer, like just do their thing.

[Jonathan Groff]

I mean the part that's just that, you know.

[Matt Rogers]

Exactly.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

She's not playing Sateen.

[Jonathan Groff]

Exactly.

[Bowen Yang]

She could.

[Lea Michele]

She could cough into a napkin.

[Bowen Yang]

She will remember our theater spree. Yes.

[Matt Rogers]

I'd never read so much theater.

[Jonathan Groff]

We have to go, Ben Spree.

[Bowen Yang]

We have to go back.

[Jonathan Groff]

What should we see this summer?

[Matt Rogers]

There's something I want. I do want to see Lost Boys.

[Jonathan Groff]

Lost Boys.

[Matt Rogers]

I want to see Lost Boys.

[Jonathan Groff]

That. I want to see.

[Matt Rogers]

These twinks fly around.

[Bowen Yang]

Do they fly?

[Jonathan Groff]

Yes. Spider Man.

[Matt Rogers]

They're vampires. It's the most second most expensive musical of all time.

[Bowen Yang]

Stop.

[Matt Rogers]

After Spider Man.

[Bowen Yang]

Really?

[Matt Rogers]

Them twinks are flying.

[Lea Michele]

Them twinks are flying.

[Jonathan Groff]

It's.

[Lea Michele]

It's all about the wires.

[Jonathan Groff]

It's all about.

[Bowen Yang]

We saw Rocky. Harry. You. Did you see it yet?

[Lea Michele]

I have not. I've been seeing it Tuesday.

[Bowen Yang]

I really enjoyed it.

[Jonathan Groff]

It was great.

[Lea Michele]

Rocky Hill.

[Jonathan Groff]

I loved it. I'll see it again. We said.

[Matt Rogers]

Oh. We went to the opening of Cat's Chuckle Ball and the opening of Rocky Horror. Both times set directly behind Murray Hill,

[Bowen Yang]

which was showbiz Both times have the

[Jonathan Groff]

experience of like you're talking and then in front of you someone goes, hey,

[Bowen Yang]

Shell Biz, that's amazing.

[Lea Michele]

Exactly who you want to be when

[Matt Rogers]

I'm not even talking, like, oh, a couple, couple rows away. Or like a little like right, right

[Jonathan Groff]

in front of us.

[Matt Rogers]

Both times, Murray Hill.

[Jonathan Groff]

Murray Hill.

[Bowen Yang]

Wow. Killing me.

[Jonathan Groff]

Because showbiz, they're doing a pre show speech. Like the director of the Roundabout, he's thanking court partners and he's like, of course. American Express. Murray, let's go amex.

[Bowen Yang]

Let's go amex.

[Jonathan Groff]

Showbiz, amex.

[Bowen Yang]

The rise of Marie Hill is on a great. Is a great New York show.

[Matt Rogers]

Well, it was foretold. It was foretold.

[Lea Michele]

It was foretold.

[Matt Rogers]

Of course.

[Jonathan Groff]

Has Murray been on pod?

[Lea Michele]

No. He should.

[Matt Rogers]

That would be fun.

[Bowen Yang]

And yeah, by the way, you know who likes Nathan Leigh Graham has been on.

[Lea Michele]

Not for many years.

[Bowen Yang]

Not for a very long time.

[Jonathan Groff]

I was thinking that recently when we were kiking with him, we hung out

[Matt Rogers]

with him at the Titanico.

[Jonathan Groff]

That's a person that can make me shut up because I just am like, please, only you, Todd.

[Lea Michele]

Funniest.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

I said, because Nathan Lee Graham was in the original lachiusa Wild Party, which me and my sister used to listen to a lot in high school. And I saw with Tony and I saw the City Center Encores production, which was wonderful. And when we ran into Nathan, I said, oh, my God, Nathan, the whole time during Wild Party, I was thinking of you. He goes, I bet you were

[Jonathan Groff]

perfect. I bet you were perfect creature, perfect person.

[Bowen Yang]

He was on the podcast, like within the first maybe two years of us having it.

[Jonathan Groff]

And he was back in the apartment.

[Bowen Yang]

The first thing we asked.

[Jonathan Groff]

Forever Dog Apartment.

[Bowen Yang]

This was at a.

[Lea Michele]

We were at we work. I remember that day. Yeah, I'm so excited.

[Bowen Yang]

We used to do this out of a we work for like months. And then he came in, he came in with a tea. And the first thing we asked him was, we're like, what's your tea flavor? And he'd just goes, constant comment.

[Lea Michele]

I still remember.

[Bowen Yang]

And that was the title of that right away comment.

[Jonathan Groff]

I feel like we've said this before, but I do think Nathan Lee Graham and Zoolander is like blueprint, like a. A piece of gay iconography that like created a generation of.

[Bowen Yang]

My mistake.

[Jonathan Groff]

I really do think we.

[Lea Michele]

And we would all go on to play a gay assistant.

[Bowen Yang]

We really would.

[Matt Rogers]

We're all, yeah, have I done it?

[Bowen Yang]

Have I done an assistant?

[Jonathan Groff]

God, I feel like I have that.

[Matt Rogers]

I'VE definitely been like, gay guy like that. I don't know if I was an assistant, but I've definitely been, like, a bitchy gay guy.

[Lea Michele]

Like, even Caleb Herrun, he just did it. He's joined us in the, like, in.

[Jonathan Groff]

Well, he's the king of gay assistant mountain right now. He's sort of the number one chair,

[Bowen Yang]

top chair, big time.

[Jonathan Groff]

Until someone else takes him to be in dlp. He's the final boss at this moment.

[Bowen Yang]

Oh, I guess maybe something happens at

[Matt Rogers]

the end of the phone.

[Bowen Yang]

Oh, I bet there's a turn with that cat character.

[Matt Rogers]

You'll have to see the film. They go to Milan.

[Bowen Yang]

They do, yes.

[Lea Michele]

An amazing city.

[Bowen Yang]

I wish we had seen more of it.

[Lea Michele]

Yeah, well, there's. There's not much to see, honestly.

[Matt Rogers]

It's just y' all are dragging Milan a little bit.

[Lea Michele]

I think Milan likes being dragged because we were even talking to the locals there. They're like, shots fired. Yeah.

[Bowen Yang]

Not like Mulan. Don't drag her.

[Lea Michele]

Don't drag her.

[Bowen Yang]

You want a sword to the neck?

[Jonathan Groff]

Thank you.

[Matt Rogers]

Let's get down.

[Lea Michele]

Wait.

[Matt Rogers]

I just learned that Carrie Fisher did punch ups on Anastasia script.

[Bowen Yang]

She did punch ups. She was doing punch ups on everything.

[Matt Rogers]

But isn't that fierce?

[Bowen Yang]

She was one of the most prolific Hollywood script documents.

[Jonathan Groff]

Listen, do we have the, like, full list of everything she did? Punch em off? Cause I feel like every year you learn a new one.

[Matt Rogers]

I learned this from Izzy's Be Kind rewind, which everyone should watch.

[Lea Michele]

Oh, I love.

[Jonathan Groff]

Izzy should be on Pod. That'd be fun.

[Matt Rogers]

Oh, God, yeah. If you can get her.

[Jonathan Groff]

Good luck.

[Lea Michele]

Good luck.

[Matt Rogers]

She took Michael to Judy Garland's jacket unveiling at Carnegie hall, so.

[Lea Michele]

Holy moly. Oh, is he so happy.

[Matt Rogers]

Happy as a clam.

[Lea Michele]

Damn.

[Jonathan Groff]

There was something we were all trying to get tickets to. I feel like someone's like, can everybody do this date? And Michael had to be like, no, I'm seeing Judy Garland's jacket unveiling. We were going to go to Josh

[Matt Rogers]

Daniels Cabaret, which I had to leave to see Amy Jo Jackson be Tamara,

[Jonathan Groff]

but I loved hearing that. No, I have to go see Judy Garland.

[Matt Rogers]

I can't be going to Carnegie hall to see Judy Gartner's jacket.

[Lea Michele]

And it's the jacket from the night.

[Matt Rogers]

It's from the night, yeah.

[Lea Michele]

Oh, my God.

[Matt Rogers]

Lorna was there.

[Lea Michele]

Lorna.

[Bowen Yang]

Ms. L. Ms. L. You know that we.

[Jonathan Groff]

Lorna and Orna. That would be a sh.2 on a quick.

[Lea Michele]

She'll come 54 below nick.

[Jonathan Groff]

Yes. And they do sideshow and they do

[Lea Michele]

Sideshow Never leave you. They should come on for the tour.

[Jonathan Groff]

They should come on for the tour.

[Bowen Yang]

It's us and Lorna Love and Orna Girl. I do think for the tour, as a rule, it needs a certain surprise fifth at the end of every show.

[Matt Rogers]

Yes.

[Jonathan Groff]

Well, I.

[Matt Rogers]

That's.

[Jonathan Groff]

I don't know if we can say this on it, but I think it would be funny if we did like an iconic R B song. Like one of the ones that has one of the, like, speaking monologues, you know, like. And like someone like Ariana Grande comes out to only do the speaking part and then leave.

[Matt Rogers]

Doesn't sing.

[Jonathan Groff]

We need. We need a. A C singer to come out and just do the, like the, like leaving the voicemail part.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah, yeah, the skit.

[Lea Michele]

Do you know what has a great just opening, speaking of this sort of canon is Whitney Houston and Deborah Cox.

[Jonathan Groff]

Yes.

[Lea Michele]

Same script, different cast.

[Matt Rogers]

Yes.

[Lea Michele]

It starts. It opens with Whitney going, deb, thank you for being woman enough to come. And then Deborah goes, whitney, what's this about? And then they started.

[Bowen Yang]

Okay, so, yeah, what's this about?

[Matt Rogers]

What's this about?

[Jonathan Groff]

So, yeah, Ari comes out with, Deb,

[Lea Michele]

thank you for being woman enough to come.

[Bowen Yang]

Whitney, what's this about? What's this about?

[Jonathan Groff]

Ari and Ben Platt come out and they just do those two lines and then they leave.

[Bowen Yang]

They leave. So this is. I don't think so, honey. Whatever. You know what it is?

[Matt Rogers]

Okay.

[Bowen Yang]

I explain it every single time on. On the episode. And every single time when I get to the explanation, it's end. I'm like, why did I do that?

[Jonathan Groff]

Well, if you don't know, pause right now and go and listen to any other episode.

[Bowen Yang]

Explain it on every single, single one.

[Jonathan Groff]

The work.

[Bowen Yang]

Okay, okay.

[Lea Michele]

Matt Rogers has one. This is Matt Rogers. I don't think so, honey. His time starts now.

[Bowen Yang]

I don't think so, honey. Andrew Lloyd Webber being like, well, we can't do the balcony scene in Evita because we have gun laws in Britain. The reason they can't do it is because there's no balcony at that theater where that would make it logistically feasible. I don't think so, honey. That we needed to make it about gun violence.

[Lea Michele]

And now we're picturing Zegler getting. Getting sniped.

[Bowen Yang]

And now I'm picturing it. And I'm sure now she is like, well, yeah, I guess that was an option. Wasn't thinking about it. But let's just remind all of America

[Matt Rogers]

they let them do it in.

[Bowen Yang]

What the wound is that we're walking around with which is that we have no goddamn gun laws. But that is not the reason cannot do this element. I'm sure they'll think of something. Something. Here's an idea. You blast her out into Times Square. She does it from there.

[Jonathan Groff]

From a cannon.

[Bowen Yang]

I like that idea Jamie Lloyd. But I will say we didn't need to go there. Andrew Lloyd Webber. Kind of similar to Cinderella, the bad musical. You know the one year old I

[Jonathan Groff]

didn't know he said that.

[Bowen Yang]

There you go.

[Jonathan Groff]

Shots really funny.

[Bowen Yang]

Shots fired. And not in that way.

[Lea Michele]

He could have said the same thing for Sunset Boulevard.

[Matt Rogers]

They did it eight times a week.

[Bowen Yang]

They did it eight times a week.

[Matt Rogers]

Sleep in snow.

[Lea Michele]

He's out there for a walk while

[Matt Rogers]

something that was so fun was what I can't remember the theater. The St. James. What? What theater is the St. James? Right across from Sardis. If you went to Sardis during intermission you got to live watch. Every time we get a martini and

[Jonathan Groff]

sit at the plain glass they just watch Tom go down the street.

[Bowen Yang]

That's it was really fun.

[Jonathan Groff]

You can hear thing you get to watch this person. Sometimes they have umbrellas.

[Bowen Yang]

It's craving.

[Jonathan Groff]

It was.

[Bowen Yang]

I love when they add a little. You know I saw it four times. Yeah, I would have I it was

[Jonathan Groff]

if I was rich like you. Oh please, oh please drag her.

[Lea Michele]

Oh, after the drama desk.

[Jonathan Groff]

After the drama desk.

[Matt Rogers]

Well there's that prize money.

[Jonathan Groff]

Yeah, don't Forget about that $200,000 prize

[Lea Michele]

from Rue down and make jewelry.

[Jonathan Groff]

We should go see Lost Boys. I'm really glad.

[Lea Michele]

I would love that.

[Jonathan Groff]

That would be fun.

[Matt Rogers]

I really want to see Lost Boys.

[Lea Michele]

We should do it. We should play them. Go.

[Jonathan Groff]

No no, no.

[Matt Rogers]

Do you have an item?

[Jonathan Groff]

No, I just wouldn't. Was Andrew Lloyd Webber. I can't believe he said that.

[Matt Rogers]

But we've moved on so funny.

[Bowen Yang]

He's one of our most be saying things people.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah, he be he been rich too long.

[Bowen Yang]

Never forget when he was a guest judge on American Idol years and years and years ago. And they were doing Andrew the music of Andrew led Webber which sure.

[Jonathan Groff]

And that was a coincidence actually they

[Matt Rogers]

booked him as gas before they figured

[Bowen Yang]

it just happened they were doing it and this girl was singing Memory or something.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah, that's one of the ones.

[Bowen Yang]

And. And he was like no, no no. Remember when you sing this you're an old glamour puss. And she was like 17 year old

[Matt Rogers]

girl from fucking Iowa.

[Bowen Yang]

He definitely said the word glamour puss. And I'll never forget they when Joel McHale hosted the Soup years ago. He just played the clip about 18 times in a row of glamourpoose. Actually, I did think the Soup was the height of glamour.

[Jonathan Groff]

No, but this is good direct to Rachel Zegler because I know you're watching.

[Matt Rogers]

You always do.

[Jonathan Groff]

When you're a Vita up there. You're a glamour.

[Matt Rogers]

Glamour puss. Don't you dare forget it. Don't you dare forget you're a glam.

[Jonathan Groff]

She knows, but it bears repeating.

[Matt Rogers]

You're a glamour pussy is not a glamour puss. Aida is a glam.

[Bowen Yang]

She can play any role. Get it?

[Jonathan Groff]

Yeah.

[Lea Michele]

Yep.

[Bowen Yang]

You know what? I. Listen. You know what was. You know what was on my. For sure top five most played. But I think Spotify, like, couldn't compute this level of gay. So it didn't make.

[Jonathan Groff]

What year are we talking?

[Bowen Yang]

Last year it was the. The phone call scene from Sunset Boulevard when Nicole is like, is this. This is safer? Yes, I'm calling. And it's just this whole crazy ass phone. Do you know where you live?

[Jonathan Groff]

And Spotify wouldn't put it on there.

[Bowen Yang]

I was just. I listened to it so many times.

[Matt Rogers]

It was good.

[Lea Michele]

And it. And it charted for Matt.

[Jonathan Groff]

Yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

Did we see the Glenn Close revival

[Jonathan Groff]

revival together for my birthday?

[Matt Rogers]

Because we were so far back.

[Lea Michele]

Yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

And everyone's clapping because of her entrance. We could only see her little.

[Bowen Yang]

We were screaming.

[Jonathan Groff]

We were in.

[Bowen Yang]

We were in probably the third row from the back. It was like 15 of us. We all bought.

[Matt Rogers]

It was a huge theater.

[Bowen Yang]

I got 17 each to Sunset Boulevard. The revival with Glenn Cliff.

[Jonathan Groff]

This was the 80s.

[Bowen Yang]

The 80s. Of course, she comes out. Just her feet are showing. That's all we can see. And we have seen everyone else.

[Lea Michele]

That's bad direction and blocking. They don't care about the pores.

[Bowen Yang]

They care about the pores.

[Jonathan Groff]

She should have done it like this.

[Matt Rogers]

Uh. Oh.

[Lea Michele]

Don't show a hole.

[Matt Rogers]

Oh, she's. She's funny because she was like,

[Bowen Yang]

well, we wish. We can't get one Hawkeye. All right.

[Lea Michele]

Oh, God. Do I have one?

[Bowen Yang]

Do you? I mean, I found mine just.

[Jonathan Groff]

I can do one if you don't have it.

[Bowen Yang]

No.

[Jonathan Groff]

Do you need to go first? I forget if that's required.

[Bowen Yang]

I feel like I don't want to

[Lea Michele]

go, actually, since we break form all the time here.

[Matt Rogers]

It's true.

[Lea Michele]

Maybe Josh goes.

[Matt Rogers]

You have one.

[Jonathan Groff]

Yeah.

[Bowen Yang]

With one minute.

[Jonathan Groff]

It came to me earlier.

[Bowen Yang]

This is Joshua D Sharp.

[Jonathan Groff]

I need to get this off my chest.

[Bowen Yang]

I don't think so, honey. And his time starts now.

[Jonathan Groff]

I Don't think so, honey. To all you folks at home beating your meat to how sexy my voice sounds right now. Ugh. I hate how much y' all are stroking your hogs. Because my voice is just so sexy. Stroking those pussies and those cocks just because I have the such a sexy, sexy voice. I don't think so, honey. Y' all are little pervert pickies. Let me be Grinder. Just because my voice sounds like sex.

[Bowen Yang]

30 seconds.

[Jonathan Groff]

Oh, I don't think so, honey. I don't think that y' all are about to come because of my voice right now.

[Bowen Yang]

This is just too much.

[Jonathan Groff]

Oh, I don't want y' all to come because I said sounds so and you're watching me too. I don't think so, honey. Don't come.

[Bowen Yang]

It is a podcast.

[Jonathan Groff]

Oh.

[Bowen Yang]

Oh, don't come. Kamala coded.

[Jonathan Groff]

Come right now.

[Bowen Yang]

And that's one minute.

[Lea Michele]

We can't cut that down for socials.

[Bowen Yang]

No one did come.

[Jonathan Groff]

Did I ask you to play the whole thing?

[Lea Michele]

That's all podcasts are these days.

[Bowen Yang]

Dj, run it back.

[Matt Rogers]

Hit the track.

[Bowen Yang]

Hit the track.

[Lea Michele]

I've got one.

[Matt Rogers]

Okay, I really need one.

[Lea Michele]

That was amazing.

[Bowen Yang]

That was really good. I needed to remember that. This is Bonya Ang's. I don't think so, honey. His time starts now.

[Lea Michele]

I don't think so, honey. What's the deal with sparkling water?

[Matt Rogers]

There she goes.

[Lea Michele]

Oh, and it's spicy. And you like it. And sparkling will not. When the lights are off, there's no light to refract through the bubbles. And isn't that interesting? And yet we still call it that. You know what we call it in other languages? Water with air. Because that's all it is. Let's not give it too much editorializing by calling it sparkling. The Sharon doesn't really need to be there, does it? Now you can say sparkle water. Sparkling is just still in process. Still in process. And it's ephemeral, honey. Like all things in life, at one point it will stop sparkling and bubbling. Let it be what it is, which is just carbonated water, which you would have to make out of some crazy contraption. 5 seconds your phosphates in that and it would be okay. I want my sodas sweet and not neutral. Spicy.

[Bowen Yang]

That's one minute.

[Jonathan Groff]

I love that.

[Matt Rogers]

Spicy.

[Jonathan Groff]

You're so right. Everywhere else, congas and also syngas. It's interesting that that's the binary. With air or without air.

[Lea Michele]

Questioning, script, question.

[Bowen Yang]

Clarifying question.

[Lea Michele]

Yes.

[Bowen Yang]

Gerund. This is just a word with ing.

[Lea Michele]

No, there's a specific use of the ing.

[Jonathan Groff]

But most ing verbs are gonna be gerund.

[Lea Michele]

Are gonna be gerunds.

[Bowen Yang]

Okay, so ing in action.

[Lea Michele]

Is it gerund? Yes, yes, yes.

[Bowen Yang]

Kissing. I was running. I was picking, just choosing.

[Lea Michele]

Kissing.

[Jonathan Groff]

Well, yeah, I was fisting.

[Matt Rogers]

Fisting. Fucking, jerking, lying.

[Bowen Yang]

I was allowing Aaron Jackson.

[Lea Michele]

I was steaming.

[Matt Rogers]

Steaming.

[Lea Michele]

I can't believe that I caught my man cheating.

[Bowen Yang]

I'm trying to think of the next line.

[Lea Michele]

No, I know, I'm sorry, I skipped one. I was steaming.

[Bowen Yang]

Scheming.

[Lea Michele]

While he was scheming. I was beaming in the beam. Just be. Just steaming.

[Bowen Yang]

Oh, here's a question. Is it still a gerund if they stylize it like steaming?

[Jonathan Groff]

Yeah, sure, that's a gerund.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah, I was going to say got you.

[Bowen Yang]

Got me, girl. Girl. That's what you get here on La Culteristas. Incisive wordplay.

[Matt Rogers]

Incisive.

[Bowen Yang]

So these have been really, really good so far today.

[Matt Rogers]

How will I compete?

[Bowen Yang]

And I do not envy you, Aaron Jackson.

[Jonathan Groff]

You can pass. No one's done it, but you always have the option to go pass.

[Matt Rogers]

I have one. I think. Okay, well, it's.

[Jonathan Groff]

I thinking Jaron.

[Matt Rogers]

I thinking.

[Lea Michele]

I thinking.

[Bowen Yang]

I have one. I thinking.

[Lea Michele]

Okay, ready?

[Bowen Yang]

This is Aaron Jackson's. I don't think so, honey. His time starts now.

[Matt Rogers]

I don't think so, honey. That the kitchen. The room of the kitchen continues to. Continues to be dirty. You clean it very well. Bleach the whole gag not but a day later stains upon the floor once again. And all you did was get some yogurt out. It's not like you made a big marinara pot and had it bubbling for all your nanas and nanos. You simply 30 seconds. Got a slop of yogurt in a bowl and then suddenly cover. You have to once again reach for

[Jonathan Groff]

the mop and I don't think the counter.

[Matt Rogers]

Oh, honey, that room has got an attitude.

[Bowen Yang]

Teen second.

[Matt Rogers]

And it needs to figure itself why so many staying.

[Jonathan Groff]

Give him extra time. No, two minutes.

[Matt Rogers]

I would like that room to take a note from bed, living or bath. Even a little less noise from you kitchen. I don't think so, honey. You're filthy.

[Jonathan Groff]

Give him extra time.

[Bowen Yang]

It's one minute. But he ended it himself.

[Lea Michele]

You don't think bath has an attitude.

[Matt Rogers]

But there's soap in there so it just sort of gets a little cleaner. And sometimes I feel like I clean the toilet with a simple bit of bleach and it's good for like a week.

[Jonathan Groff]

No toilet has an attitude. Toilet has kitchen and bathroom.

[Matt Rogers]

No, y' all gotta go back in your kitchen. I bet you right now.

[Jonathan Groff]

I agree with you, but I'm saying the toilet be doing the same thing next. You clean it, then you go pee and poop. Instantly it dirty again because there's water in it.

[Matt Rogers]

It just goes away quickly.

[Lea Michele]

You use the brush to clean the toilet.

[Jonathan Groff]

Damn, y' all are claw.

[Bowen Yang]

Ever thought of about cooking with soap? I just open your mind. I just open your mind. No, not Nana.

[Jonathan Groff]

Don't come in. I made soup stew.

[Matt Rogers]

You're nonas and your no nos.

[Jonathan Groff]

Soup stew.

[Matt Rogers]

Soup stew. Come on in.

[Bowen Yang]

Nona Nano. I made soup stew. And this time with soap.

[Matt Rogers]

Death. He died doing what he loved, a bad bit.

[Bowen Yang]

Died doing what he loved, a bad bit. It was a good bit, Josh.

[Jonathan Groff]

It was a good bit. Drama desk, my love.

[Bowen Yang]

Drama desk nominee.

[Matt Rogers]

When Rocky Horror was a critics pick.

[Lea Michele]

Yes.

[Jonathan Groff]

We were at the after party.

[Matt Rogers]

Reese Havoc slash Austin Spiro, legendary legend ball. First thing they say when they walk in is, critics pick, my love. And that made us laugh so hard.

[Lea Michele]

So hard.

[Jonathan Groff]

So all night we were going.

[Lea Michele]

Critics pick my critics, definitely.

[Jonathan Groff]

And so that truly when I say the morning of Drama desk, I get a voicemail from Austin Sparrow. Drama desk, my love.

[Matt Rogers]

Drama desk, my love.

[Lea Michele]

It's the new sickening.

[Bowen Yang]

No.

[Jonathan Groff]

Sickening.

[Bowen Yang]

No. It's the new sickening.

[Lea Michele]

No.

[Jonathan Groff]

Drama desk, my love.

[Lea Michele]

When you take a brush from the toilet or the plunger, you clean it with bleach, you let it dry, you put it back in. Two seconds later, you go back to the bathroom. Why is the holder covered in shit?

[Jonathan Groff]

This is what I'm talking about.

[Lea Michele]

It is kitchen and bathroom do not let bathroom off the wall.

[Matt Rogers]

And also bathroom, like your shower curtain gets mold when you did nothing wrong.

[Lea Michele]

You wanna know what the red is?

[Matt Rogers]

The red.

[Bowen Yang]

Oh, God, don't ruin our red.

[Lea Michele]

The red thing on, like the plastic. Like if you. I don't have this anymore.

[Matt Rogers]

Here we go.

[Lea Michele]

But I remember in college I'm trying

[Jonathan Groff]

to have a weekend. Is this gonna ruin my weekend?

[Lea Michele]

I don't know. But when you have like a plastic shower curtain lining, sometimes it gets pink.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah.

[Lea Michele]

Fucking like blood. No, no, no. It's like. It's like a mold slash algae.

[Bowen Yang]

Oh, I didn't realize it's mold. That's what that is.

[Matt Rogers]

But that's life.

[Jonathan Groff]

That's chocolate.

[Bowen Yang]

Life get moldy sometimes they need to bring back. But we still keep eating.

[Jonathan Groff]

It's chocolate. We were at.

[Bowen Yang]

Hey, wouldn't you agree? Life get moldy sometimes. We still keep Eating it.

[Matt Rogers]

What is mold if not a living thing? Thank you. Bless her. Bless that mango.

[Bowen Yang]

It's a beautiful thing. Growing through the cracks of something hard and challenging. All right, everyone, guess the title of one of. This is the last thing we're gonna do in the episode. Okay, guess the title of one of the Ariana Grande AG8. Now, we know it's called Pedal. You cannot guess Pedal.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah, right, right, right.

[Bowen Yang]

But guess the title of an Ariana Grande track. And if any of us are right, I don't know what happens.

[Lea Michele]

Okay?

[Bowen Yang]

But we'll figure it out.

[Matt Rogers]

Give us a right the other. Buy them an all expense paid trip to someone else.

[Lea Michele]

Los Angeles.

[Bowen Yang]

Los Angeles. Los Angeles, California.

[Matt Rogers]

Exactly. We'll grab a big la, girls. Yeah.

[Jonathan Groff]

And this is the last thing we're gonna do.

[Bowen Yang]

Comfort plus.

[Jonathan Groff]

So I just want to say everybody only gets one hour to make their pick because this is the last thing we're gonna do. So an hour apiece. Okay, so just like four more hours.

[Bowen Yang]

Okay, Josh, you're first. Well, that's an hour. So it's time.

[Jonathan Groff]

There's going to be a song called Rooted. Wow.

[Bowen Yang]

Really good. O O T E D or R

[Matt Rogers]

U D E D, R U Rude.

[Lea Michele]

R O U T E Rude.

[Jonathan Groff]

All I'll say is there's a song called Rooted. Rooted.

[Lea Michele]

Rooted. Rooted. Rooted. Either Hard, hard D or soft T. Oh, like.

[Matt Rogers]

Or it's about RuPaul.

[Bowen Yang]

Porque los rudid.

[Jonathan Groff]

Ruded, Rude.

[Lea Michele]

Okay. No los das. Los tres. Okay.

[Matt Rogers]

No les tres.

[Bowen Yang]

What about you, Aaron Rudin?

[Matt Rogers]

The song will be called Wet Wind.

[Bowen Yang]

Wet Wind.

[Jonathan Groff]

After you make your guest put your push your mic away because you're done with the episode.

[Lea Michele]

Whet.

[Matt Rogers]

Wet wind.

[Bowen Yang]

Do you want to Wet wind?

[Lea Michele]

Yeah. There will be a song on the album Pedal on the first Ariana Grande album under her new Baby Doll music imprint called Lost in the House.

[Bowen Yang]

This is my guess for the Ariana Grande song title on Pedal. Bokeh.

[Matt Rogers]

Bokeh. Bokeh.

[Bowen Yang]

And it's going to be. People don't know if she's talking about her homeland.

[Lea Michele]

Yeah. Or the Spanish word for mouth.

[Bowen Yang]

The Spanish word for mouth. Three times. Could be either. We don't know what kind of area she's in. Is she in a retrospective era or a little Physicians horror era? I'm pushing away.

[Lea Michele]

That was a great exercise. And we really didn't get that into for the tour, which I think we'll

[Jonathan Groff]

have to save for wanting more for the tour.

[Bowen Yang]

I thought you said Lorne.

[Matt Rogers]

Sorry, Lorna.

[Lea Michele]

Because I'm the industry.

[Matt Rogers]

Lorna Dern, St Max again.

[Bowen Yang]

Do you guys want to to promote anything? Promote anything.

[Jonathan Groff]

I wish everyone would read a book.

[Lea Michele]

Thank you.

[Jonathan Groff]

Any book will do.

[Matt Rogers]

Why not mine?

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah, why not?

[Lea Michele]

Astonishing Life August Morch.

[Jonathan Groff]

Morch the Torch. Astonishing Life of Morch the Torch.

[Lea Michele]

August the talkest.

[Bowen Yang]

We hope you enjoyed this episode of Las Culturistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang.

[Matt Rogers]

Please like and subscribe for more at the Patreon. Follow us at YouTube. Patreon?

[Bowen Yang]

We don't have a Patreon. That's them being imposters. If Las Culturistas Patreon starts popping up, it's them trying to make a quick buck.

[Matt Rogers]

Or a slow one.

[Bowen Yang]

We gotta get our producer off Grindr.

[Lea Michele]

She's on Grindr.

[Matt Rogers]

All right.

[Lea Michele]

We end every episode with a song.

[Jonathan Groff]

Well, we end every episode with.

[Lea Michele]

Grateful for My Wet Win. Goodbye.

[Matt Rogers]

Goodbye.

[Lea Michele]

Las Culturistas is a production by Will Ferrell's Big money players in iHeartRadio podcasts,

[Bowen Yang]

created and hosted by Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang, executive produced by Anna Hosnier and produced by Becca Ramos, edited and

[Lea Michele]

mixed by Doug Bame.

[Bowen Yang]

And our music is by Henry Komirsky.

[Matt Rogers]

This is an iHeart podcast.

[Podcast Announcer]

Guaranteed Human.