Las Culturistas: “Two Guys, Five Rings: Matt + Bowen at the Olympics in Milan”

Date: February 14, 2026
Hosts: Matt Rogers & Bowen Yang
Theme: The Culturistas bring their signature pop-culture lens to the 2026 Milan-Cortina Winter Olympics, sharing their immersive (and hilarious) behind-the-scenes experiences—from the airport welcome to the spectacle of the Opening Ceremony.

1. Episode Overview

Matt and Bowen, as self-proclaimed "culture consultants," broadcast live from the heart of Milan during the Olympics, giving listeners a hilariously candid and colorful peek into both the grandeur and minutiae of the Games. The focus: an outsider’s deep dive on pageantry, Italian hosting, Mariah Carey sightings, memorable foods, celebrity moments, and the cultural impact of events like the Opening Ceremony.

2. Key Discussion Points & Insights

A. Milan Arrival & Team USA Welcome Experience

Timestamps: 03:00–08:12

• Travel Recap: After joking for episodes that they deserved to go to the Olympics, the duo finally makes it, with Matt declaring, "All our bags made it… and we're absolutely dripping in Ralph Lauren swag." (05:09)
• Airport VIP: They walk through the Team USA arrival experience—a simulated Olympic arrival, with personalized video greetings from athletes’ families:
    "Everyone at all the installations comes out and claps… You stand in front of a screen and they play a video that is personalized to the teams that are arriving." (06:14)
• OLYMPICS-THEMED MERCH:
    "You haven't lived until you've seen the Olympics themed skim panties… and thigh-high socks." (06:54)
  • Matt and Bowen don Opening Ceremony coats—admitting, “Don’t worry, it was stolen valor!” (07:46)
  • They joke about the generous swag not matching the shoebox-sized rooms in the Olympic Village.

B. Cultural Connections & Curling Mania

Timestamps: 08:12–11:00

• Inspired by meeting Cleo Abram (journalist and huge curling fan), Bowen fixates on the sport:
  • "You're lunging, you're sweeping... you're getting beers after."
  • "It's called the gentleman's sport… You shake hands before the game starts." (08:51)
• Matt: "That feels very Canadian." Bowen adds: "I'm going to say it started in the UK. Scotland." (09:42)
• Admiring Cleo: "She looks like Julia Roberts. But she knows things about protein structure." (10:11 & 10:23)

C. The Opening Ceremony: Reactions & Favorite Moments

Timestamps: 11:00–28:34

1. First Impressions & Celeb Sightings

• Matt: “When we walked in, I had one thought. Wow, this is like the ERAS Tour.” (11:53)
• Bowen meets "Mike," the (nameless) Opening Ceremony director, who tests their response: "'What'd you think?'... 'It was spectacular.' He goes, 'Well, I directed it.'" (11:19–11:21)

2. Mariah Carey Steals the Show

• Matt: “Let me tell you what was extremely amazing. Her performance in Italian. And then she sang her song Nothing is Impossible.” (13:41)
• “Probably the coolest part of being there BTS was watching them slowly walk her out… it takes three men to get Mariah out.” (14:11–14:15)

3. The Pageantry, The Chi, and the Snacks

• Matt and Bowen (tongue-in-cheek) critique the event’s hot dogs, mourn the lack of authentic chicken parm, and revel in the Italian flag’s “Caprese salad” aesthetic. (13:17, 21:17–21:43, 22:02)
• In-depth recount of Opening Ceremony elements:
  • Interpretive dance & “harmonia” theme: “The theme literally was harmony. But the theme was harmony. And there was harmony in the interpretive dance.” (17:53–17:56)
  • Matilda de Angelis’ performance: “I really liked her. I thought her lines were beautiful.” (19:11)
  • Giant puppet heads of Verdi, Puccini, and Rossini.
  • Paint tubes raining color and a mass of actors costumed as espresso makers.
    “Turns out all those guys were supposed to be espresso makers. This was where it got a little Italian flavor.” (20:30)
  • Parade of Nations: "So many cute outfits...It’s so lovely to see Italian athletes coming in." (31:25–31:32)
  • The acclaim for Laura Pausini’s Italian national anthem.

4. Showstoppers & Symbolism

• Bowen admires the Olympic rings spectacle:
    "That took my breath away… because they were not super secure on those things." (24:48–24:54)
• Italian national anthem: “It sounds like a song that would win Eurovision. And it’s their national anthem.” (26:02–26:07)
• Matt: “I didn’t realize Italy was the club in this way.” (26:13)
• Parade of Nations coverage, with notes on "widespread" camera cutting between Milan, Cortina, and Livigno. (32:10–32:31)
• Saluting the feeling of global unity:
    "I was watching, going like, oh, God, there's something really profound about everybody from around the world being here at the same time." (32:45)

5. Charlize Theron’s Peace Speech & Musical Climax

• Bowen on Charlize Theron: “There's something really powerful about the woman who played Aileen Wuornos, Furiosa and Ms Atomic Blonde … for a woman to know violence and say, guys from Atomic Blonde, cut it out with the war, for C’s sake. Made me go… this is impactful.” (33:05–33:53)
• Andrea Bocelli’s “Nessun Dorma” at the cauldron lighting:
    “The perfect synchronizing of the Olympic torch flame to the beat of Nessun Dorma sung by literally Pavarotti, who's still able to whip jelly—oh. When you say literally and it's wrong, I meant Bocelli.” (34:10–34:24)
• Ongoing joke about Italian “calderone” (cauldron) and Lady Gaga’s alter ego, Joe Calderone.

D. Food, Culture, and Gay Stereotypes

Timestamps: 22:00–24:41

• Matt and Bowen riff on Italian food:
  • The lack of chicken parm (Matt: “It’s an Italian American invention.” 22:02)
  • A memorable Italian waiter’s dessert, purportedly “Italian Viagra.”
  • “You kind of know the guys are gay [in Italy] because they’re like, marry me.” (23:28)

E. Medals for the Night: Awards Segment

Timestamps: 37:05–41:34

• Bronze Medal: Laura Pausini singing the national anthem.
  “That was so rousing.” (37:43–37:46)
• Silver Medal: Gabriela Paciatore (White Lotus’ “Valentina”) for her narrative-driven segment and stunning dance:
    “She starts dancing to this contemporary Italian…the first Italian rap song...Just like she did in White Lotus.” (39:34–40:43)
• Gold Medal: Andrea Bocelli’s “Nessun Dorma” and the opening ceremony director “Mike”:
    “…That was truly epic and just gold medal, honorary gold, platinum medal, as it were. To Mike. To Mike, who directed the stuff.” (41:09–41:27)

3. Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

(with timestamps & speaker)

• Matt (on being at the Olympics):
    "I never dreamed as a boy that I would ever ask these questions." (03:51)

• Bowen (on the Team USA arrival):
    "Everyone is clapping, clapping. Everyone there at all the installations comes out and claps." (06:14)

• Matt (skims sponsorship):
    "You haven't lived until you've seen the Olympics-themed Skim panties." (06:54)

• Bowen (on Mariah Carey's entrance):
    "Takes three men to get Mariah out…She was truly the doll." (14:15–14:23)

• On Olympic rings acrobatics:
    "That took my breath away…they were kind of doing it raw." (24:49–24:25)

• Matt (about Italy's national anthem):
    "It sounds like a song that would win Eurovision. And it’s their national anthem." (26:02)

• Bowen (on global unity):
    "There's something really profound about everybody from around the world being here at the same time." (32:45)

• Bowen (on cauldron):
    "I take issue with it being called a cauldron...It's too witchy...Just call it the Olympic Bowl." (35:05 – 36:19)

4. Important Timestamps (Segments Worth Replaying)

• 03:00 Arrival in Milan and Team USA welcome experience
• 06:54 Opening Ceremony gear & Skims swag
• 08:33 The culture of curling (with Cleo Abram)
• 11:53 Opening Ceremony begins (ERAS Tour analogy)
• 13:41 Mariah Carey’s performance
• 17:53 Ceremony theme: “Harmony” and interpretive dance
• 19:01 Matilda de Angelis’ dance and opera puppets
• 20:30 Paint tubes, espresso makers, and Italian flavor
• 24:48 Olympic rings acrobatics
• 26:02 Raving about Italy’s national anthem
• 32:45 Expressing the emotional resonance of the Parade of Nations
• 33:05 Charlize Theron’s peace speech
• 34:10 (Correcting himself) It was Bocelli, not Pavarotti, singing “Nessun Dorma”
• 37:05 “Two Guys, Five Rings” medal ceremony
• 41:09 Honoring Bocelli and “Mike” the director

5. Tone & Language

Throughout, Matt and Bowen serve witty, self-deprecating banter, gleeful pop-culture namechecks, and deep affection for spectacle and drama (“I celebrate witches!”). Their observations blend irreverence and sincerity—they poke affectionate fun at Italian culture, Olympic pageantry, and themselves as out-of-place podcasters suddenly living an Olympic dream.

6. Conclusion: Takeaways for Listeners

• Culture at the Olympics: The Olympics as international spectacle, fashion show, and global pop-culture convergence.
• Italian Flavor: Every event, snack, and performance steeped in both tradition and surprising, modern glam.
• The Power of Pageantry: Opening Ceremony evoked awe and emotion, even for two culture-obsessives used to seeing it all.
• Behind the Scenes: The magic (and chaos) of live events—meeting creators, celebs, and feeling part of something bigger.
• Podcasting at the Olympics: Matt & Bowen prove you can be both Olympian and podcaster (shout-out to guest Adam Rippon, teased for next time).

Final send-off:
"Unforgettable. Just like the opening ceremony of Milan Cortina 2026... Harmony, everyone. Armania." (41:35 & 43:15)

This summary provides a full-bodied taste of the Las Culturistas Olympic adventure, with plenty of entry points for pop-culture fans, Olympic devotees, and humor-loving listeners alike.