Episode 604: Newlywed Murders - Newlywed and Newly-Dead

Summary

Last Podcast On The Left – Episode 604: "Newlywed Murders - Newlywed and Newly-Dead"
Release Date: January 17, 2025
Host/Authors: The Last Podcast Network

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Overview

In Episode 604 of Last Podcast On The Left, titled "Newlywed Murders - Newlywed and Newly-Dead," the hosts delve into the disturbing tales of newlywed murders that not only shocked the communities involved but also had significant repercussions on the landscape of reality television. The episode features two primary cases:

1. Ryan Jenkins and Jasmine Fiore - The Reality TV Tragedy
2. Jordan Graham and Cody Johnson - A Newlywed Nightmare

Throughout the episode, the hosts intertwine dark humor with detailed narratives, offering listeners both entertainment and a grim look into the complexities of marital relationships gone horribly wrong.

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Case Study 1: Ryan Jenkins and Jasmine Fiore

Introduction to Ryan Jenkins

• Ryan Jenkins, a Canadian real estate developer, gained fame by participating in VH1's Celebreality dating shows, notably Megan Wants to Be a Millionaire.
• Jenkins was characterized as a charming yet morally dubious individual, embodying the "heel" persona in reality TV.

Marcus Parks [07:30]: "Jasmine was primarily a bikini model, but had planned to quit the business prior to her death because she'd obtained a real estate license."

Background and Marriage

• Jenkins met Jasmine Fiore in Las Vegas, leading to a whirlwind romance and marriage just days after competing on reality TV.
• Their relationship was marred by Jenkins' abusive behavior, including a public altercation where he assaulted Jasmine over a minor dispute.

Henry Zabrowski [06:42]: "I never heard of them."

The Murder

• On August 13, 2009, Jenkins brutally murdered Fiore in San Diego during a poker tournament event.
• The murder involved severe physical assault, including strangulation, and dismemberment to impede identification.

Marcus Parks [07:40]: "The cause of death was strangulation. But authorities on the scene soon noticed that the person who killed this woman had also cut off all the joints on her fingers and had removed all her teeth."

Aftermath and Suicide

• Following the murder, Jenkins fled to Canada but was apprehended shortly thereafter.
• Realizing the gravity of his crimes, Jenkins committed suicide in a motel in British Columbia.

Marcus Parks [32:25]: "After that, he drove two hours to the small British Columbian town of Hope, where he checked into a place called the Thunderbird Motel."

Impact on Reality TV

• Jenkins' actions led to the immediate cancellation of Megan Wants to Be a Millionaire and the scrapping of the third season of I Love Money.
• VH1 faced significant financial repercussions, paying $12 million in lost revenue due to the abrupt cancellation.

Marcus Parks [36:09]: "As a result, the celeb reality dating show effectively died out and never returned, all because of the actions carried out by Ryan Jenkins."

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Case Study 2: Jordan Graham and Cody Johnson

Introduction to Jordan and Cody

• Jordan Graham, a 22-year-old woman from Montana, met Cody Johnson at a Taco Bell following a church service.
• Their relationship appeared unbalanced, with Cody being outgoing and Jordan displaying signs of hesitation despite their recent marriage.

Marcus Parks [38:26]: "This is another example of young murder. Yes, young."

The Marriage and Doubts

• After proposing in December 2012, Johnson and Graham married on June 29, 2013, in Montana.
• Post-wedding, Jordan began expressing doubts about the marriage, despite outward appearances of happiness.

Marcus Parks [42:58]: "Eight days after the wedding, Cody's stepfather asked the couple if they'd like to go kayaking after church."

The Murder

• On July 7, 2013, during an argument at Glacier National Park, Jordan pushed Cody off a 200-foot ravine, resulting in his immediate death.
• The circumstances suggested premeditation, with conflicting stories from Jordan that raised suspicions among friends and authorities.

Marcus Parks [46:58]: "Cody Plummeted and hit a rocky outcropping which crushed his right eye socket and created a 7-inch skull fracture."

Cover-Up and Investigation

• Post-murder, Jordan fabricated a narrative involving mysterious "car buddies" to explain Cody's disappearance.
• However, inconsistencies in her stories led a work friend to investigate, uncovering key evidence that implicated her.

Marcus Parks [53:19]: "She wasn't fooling anybody."

Arrest and Trial

• Jordan was arrested after her alibi unraveled, with surveillance footage and forensic evidence strengthening the case against her.
• During the trial, her defense claimed a lack of intent, suggesting the murder was accidental due to an emotional breakdown.
• The prosecution, however, presented evidence of premeditation and intent, leading to her conviction.

Marcus Parks [66:03]: "But in the end, just as the defense rested its case, it seems like either Jordan or her lawyers recognized that they were fighting a lost cause and a turn that shocked everyone. Jordan very suddenly pled guilty to second-degree murder."

Sentencing

• Jordan Graham was sentenced to 30 years in prison for second-degree murder but is expected to serve significantly less time, potentially being released in her late 30s.

Marcus Parks [66:43]: "She was sentenced to 30 years in prison, but will probably serve far less, which means she might be released this decade."

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Key Discussions and Insights

1. Flaws in Reality TV Vetting Processes

   • Jenkins' entry into reality TV was facilitated by a subcontracted background check that failed to uncover his prior assault conviction in Canada.
   • This oversight not only allowed a violent individual onto a popular show but also had lasting financial impacts on the network.

   Henry Zabrowski [06:22]: "I never heard of them."

2. Psychological Profiles of Perpetrators

   • Both Jenkins and Graham exhibited manipulative and abusive behaviors, masking their true intentions behind charismatic exteriors.
   • Their actions highlight the dangers of ignoring red flags in high-pressure environments like reality TV and nascent marriages.

3. Impact of Sudden Fame and Pressure

   • Jenkins' rapid rise to fame and the pressures associated with maintaining his image may have contributed to his extreme actions.
   • Similarly, Graham's swift entry into marriage and the ensuing doubts suggest the fragility of relationships formed under intense public scrutiny.

4. Legal Ramifications and Network Responsibilities

   • The cancellations and financial losses faced by VH1 underscore the potential consequences networks face when vetting processes fail.
   • It raises questions about the ethical responsibilities of media companies in protecting both contestants and audiences.

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Marcus Parks [07:30]: "So the implants found in the body of this fingerless, toothless victim identified it as belonging to a 28 model named Jasmine Fiore."

• Ed Larson [16:18]: "Don't worry, you didn't get the money. The whole world is embarrassed on national television."

• Henry Zabrowski [42:45]: "I don't want to, don't want to."

• Marcus Parks [46:49]: "Then as Cody stood above a 200-foot drop, Jordan lost control completely and pushed him in the back with both hands."

• Ed Larson [67:12]: "Hail sweet Satan and we'll see you guys next week."

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Conclusions

Episode 604 of Last Podcast On The Left serves as a chilling reminder of the dark underbelly of reality television and the extreme outcomes that can arise from unchecked fame and frail interpersonal relationships. Through the harrowing stories of Ryan Jenkins and Jordan Graham, the hosts illuminate the catastrophic failures in vetting processes, the pitiable psychological states of the perpetrators, and the profound impacts these events have on both personal lives and broader media landscapes.

The episode not only provides a detailed recounting of the crimes but also encourages listeners to reflect on the ethical dimensions of media production and the importance of vigilance in both personal and professional spheres.

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Note: This summary encapsulates key elements of the podcast episode, capturing the essence of the discussions, notable quotes, and the overarching narrative flow to be informative for those who haven't listened to the podcast.

Transcript

[Marcus Parks]

There's no place to escape to.

[Henry Zabrowski]

This is the last on the left.

[Ed Larson]

That's when the cannibalism started. What was that?

[Marcus Parks]

Welcome back to Fun Noises with the Boys, ladies and gentlemen.

[Ed Larson]

Is that guy content?

[Marcus Parks]

It's close enough. Welcome to the last podcast on the left, ladies and gentlemen. My name is Marcus Parks. I'm here with the chalkboard screeching. Henry Zabrowski.

[Ed Larson]

It's fun to sort of. You can hear the download numbers go down.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yes.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, it's fun in a way.

[Henry Zabrowski]

The noise I always like to do is. You ever remember the movie, the Alien movie, the Arrival. Not the one with Amy Adams, but the one with Charlie Sheen.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

And their knees go backwards.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

And then when all the aliens talk.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

So I was. That's. That's my noise that I like.

[Marcus Parks]

That's a wonderful noise. And that's of course, Ed Larson making that wonderful noise.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Oh, my God. I had this horrible cough when that movie came out. I remember like I had like an infection in my lungs. And then I remember I started. Every time I'd cough, I'd leave the. I'd have to leave the room because I couldn't stop coughing. And my father would always yell at me, like, stop coughing, you idiot. You know, and I'd be like, I can't control it. That, you know. And then I would leave and then I would start coughing so much that I would pass out. And I remember when I started coughing during the movie the Arrival, I passed out. And when I came to, I saw the movie poster, the Arrival, and it just burned in my memory because it seemed like something that's great to see when you wake up from almost dying.

[Ed Larson]

It's a really great story. What an amazing tale of father and son.

[Marcus Parks]

While that is definitely a story of neglect, today we're going to be taking a bit of a different route. Today we're getting into good old fashioned true crime. Capital T, capital C, true fucking crime. So what I hope.

[Ed Larson]

All right. Yeah, it's. This is a. It's a kind of. We got a middle episode here. We're about to a huge series, but we want you to do before we get there. All right, you're. Imagine. Now set yourself up to your true crime. Like your whole environment.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

You're in a hotel, you've had three or four glasses of white wine.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

You're attractive, you know, middle aged woman.

[Henry Zabrowski]

60 something, fluffy robe on.

[Ed Larson]

Right? You got a fluffy robe on. You are moist. Think about this, you know, when you do that thing. Ladies, one of my favorite Things the ladies do or anybody does.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

When you get freshly out of shower and you get slicked up like a big eel.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Oh, yeah.

[Ed Larson]

And then you're slippery, and it's nice and you're getting moisturized. Now you're ready to go. Now you got some cheddar popcorn. Yeah. Get your vape going. Get your vape going. Open up, Reddit. It's time to ruin somebody's life. Let's go. It's a true crime day, isn't it, ladies?

[Marcus Parks]

Come on, let's do it. Today we're gonna be doing a little thing that we call newlywed to newly dead.

[Ed Larson]

Lot of people, they go down to the courthouse to get married, but they might as well stay there, because what they do afterwards is gonna put them in the slammer. Prison.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Sorry.

[Marcus Parks]

Marriage may be bliss, but divorce is murder. I saw that one from Fatal Valves. Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I certainly don't Till death do us fart.

[Ed Larson]

True crime. That was a little bit more jazzy.

[Marcus Parks]

It was pretty. I mean, I like the jazziness of it, though. I like the jazz.

[Ed Larson]

See what else we find when the next time. When we bring it up for the next story.

[Marcus Parks]

Oh, right. Yeah. Yeah. Because I do like jazzy true crime because it makes me feel like we're back in the Black Dahlia days.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. And it kind of felt like that, but that kind of music makes me feel like I'm outside the police station.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I always wanted to be a reenactor.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. Reenactor.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Oh, yeah. Like, if they ever need, like, a fat plumber or something and be like, I don't know, they went to the left.

[Marcus Parks]

And that's why I like Fatal Vows is because the people they use in their reenactment are just as unattractive as the people that the story is actually about. Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

See, recently I've been reenacting World War II the bad guys in my own neighborhood. And a lot of people don't like it when you show up and say, I'm reenacting.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

World War II on you.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah. You got your Nazi armband.

[Ed Larson]

I just said the enemies. You never know. We don't know which one. It was an Italian.

[Marcus Parks]

So our first newly wed to newly dead murder today is a tale of sleaze, vice, and fame. This is a story that, by its end, had unintentionally changed the entire landscape of American media. And it all came to a head because of the actions of one man who competed in possibly the trashiest sub genre of reality TV celebrality dating.

[Ed Larson]

I love the Term celeb reality. Because it. It's a separate reality.

[Marcus Parks]

It is. No, we're talking about your flavor of loves. Your. What was the Brett. The Brett Michaels House of Love or Rock of Love? Rock of Love, Yes.

[Ed Larson]

With the bandanas. And then you had the one with.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Because of all of his head surgeries that he had to wear the bandanas.

[Marcus Parks]

Is that true?

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah, he had, like, brain problems.

[Marcus Parks]

Thought you meant hair plugs.

[Henry Zabrowski]

No, no, no, no, no. He is. He was. Should have be. You should be dead.

[Ed Larson]

What?

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah, but he's not. I guess I could be wrong on this, but I'm pretty sure Brett Michaels had a bunch of head surgeries.

[Ed Larson]

What?

[Henry Zabrowski]

Frankenstein's monster, I think. Yeah. I think they, like, went in there and around and made it to soup.

[Ed Larson]

I guess it was very difficult for him to find love.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, it was.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah. Oh, Rob says true.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. All right, so on August 15, 2009, authorities found the body of an unidentified woman stuffed in a suitcase that had been tossed in a dumpster in Buena Park, California.

[Ed Larson]

And you can get an amazing deal on a set of travel gear yourself. Go to away luggage code last spot 90. We actually don't think they do. They don't sponsor us.

[Marcus Parks]

Right.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I never heard of them.

[Ed Larson]

They're great. I have them. Actually, I have no connection to them.

[Marcus Parks]

I think we have a way.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, that's who they are.

[Marcus Parks]

That's who I use. Yeah, like, because they're a sponsor.

[Ed Larson]

Last podcast on the left. Advertising.

[Henry Zabrowski]

You know what these people could have used? Simply safe.

[Marcus Parks]

Well, the cause of death was strangulation. But authorities on the scene soon noticed that the person who killed this woman had also cut off all the joints on her fingers and had removed all her teeth so as to make identification that much more difficult.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Oh, I thought it was to eat the fingers.

[Marcus Parks]

Did you again, not eat lunch before we started today?

[Ed Larson]

I saw him eat rice cakes.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I had rice cakes.

[Marcus Parks]

All right, good, good, good, good. But what the killer didn't count on was the woman's breast implants. See, newer implants are sacks filled with saline or silicone, actual manufactured products. So each implant has a serial number that could be traced back to its recipient. As such, the implants found in the body of this fingerless, toothless victim identified it as belonging to a 28 model named Jasmine Fiore.

[Ed Larson]

This might sound really insensitive. Okay, no, listen. But let's just say, do you think that having no teeth, no fingers and toes would keep someone from making love to your corpse if your corpse otherwise was banging?

[Henry Zabrowski]

Well, we don't know that they took the toes.

[Ed Larson]

I'm just saying, in terms of general.

[Marcus Parks]

Henry, your premise is flawed.

[Ed Larson]

I was saying in general. Do you think that turn off a necrophiliac?

[Henry Zabrowski]

No, see, I was thinking about. Can you resell the breasts, actually.

[Ed Larson]

And that's why he's half Jewish.

[Marcus Parks]

Well, Jasmine was primarily a bikini model, but had planned to quit the business prior to her death because she'd obtained a real estate license. This change in career was right around the time that Jasmine first met a man named Ryan Jenkins at a Las Vegas casino. The very man who would soon after be responsible for her untimely death.

[Ed Larson]

And that is his real name. But it does feel like a fake name you'd give to somebody in Las Vegas.

[Marcus Parks]

Ryan Jenkins.

[Ed Larson]

Ryan Jenkins.

[Marcus Parks]

Or Ryan Jenkins, was a reasonably successful Canadian real estate developer who just before meeting Jasmine in Vegas, had just finished competing in a VH1 Celebreality dating show called Megan Wants to Be a Millionaire.

[Ed Larson]

She really does.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah. Yeah. Enough to make a show about it.

[Marcus Parks]

Starring a former Playboy model named Megan Hauserman, who'd previously been on Beauty and the Geek and the second season of Rock of Love. Megan Wants to be a Millionaire was a dating show based solely on the concept that Megan wanted to be the trophy wife of a wealthy man.

[Ed Larson]

I like the fact that, again, it's. A woman knows what she wants. That straight up and down. I will say to the potential suitor of someone like Meghan, if she's made it through three different celeb reality dating shows, made it through various rounds of.

[Henry Zabrowski]

It, still not a millionaire.

[Ed Larson]

Not never once found love.

[Henry Zabrowski]

She's never found love.

[Ed Larson]

I don't know if it's up to you, buddy. If she can't love Bret Michaels.

[Henry Zabrowski]

It wasn't called Megan Wants to Find Love. It was called Megan Wants to Be a Millionaire.

[Ed Larson]

She had Bret Michaels.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. The whole point.

[Henry Zabrowski]

She didn't get him.

[Marcus Parks]

The whole point is that she doesn't want love. She wants money.

[Ed Larson]

I get it.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. Well, as far as how they found contestants, VH1 casting agents ran national radio ads and hosted casting parties at nightclubs, all in their search to find eligible men with a minimum of $1 million in their bank accounts. Of course, this is not going to attract the best person.

[Ed Larson]

You never know, man. Sometimes you got. Sometimes an emotionally stunted multimillionaire can only be married to a playmate that he meets on television. If he doesn't do that, that man is going to run for president. And what is going to happen is that he is Going to subjugate us to the rest of time. This is a. This could have been an alternative story.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, it really could have been. Well, Ryan Jenkins, the murderer in this story, was discovered in Las Vegas. He used his so called cocky charm to win over casting producers who thought that Ryan, quote, had one of the best personalities on the planet.

[Ed Larson]

Sure. A lot of people say that about. People say I got crazy personality, dude. So you like lunch? Yeah. That's crazy, man. I just had lunch.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah, man.

[Ed Larson]

Man, it's like symbolism.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Where'd you go to college?

[Ed Larson]

I went to college.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

I mean, no, mostly I just fucking cheap up in college.

[Henry Zabrowski]

You have a great personality.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah? Yeah. You did cheap up instead of going to college.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I really did. I sold weed instead of going to college.

[Ed Larson]

You like grapes?

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

Fuck yeah.

[Ed Larson]

I think that you and me, bro. Gon be friends.

[Marcus Parks]

Sure.

[Henry Zabrowski]

You have a million dollars, right?

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. Cool.

[Henry Zabrowski]

What kind of car do you drive?

[Ed Larson]

Nothing. Ever since I got hit by the ambulance. That's how I made the money.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Oh, yes.

[Marcus Parks]

Well, Ryan was more or less marked as the charismatic heel character in Megan Wants to be a Millionaire and was quickly cast as a contestant. Now, there's no standardized system for vetting people for reality tv. So all the networks and production companies who make these shows have different systems for checking the backgrounds of the people they choose. To check the contestants for Megan Wants to be a millionaire, VH1 hired a company that specialized in US based criminal searches. But since Ryan was Canadian, that company subcontracted his background check to another company. See, just four years before applying for this show, Ryan had pled guilty to a serious physical assault against an ex girlfriend in Alberta. And while that definitely have disqualified him, the company that had been subcontracted to check out Ryan's record in Canada missed it completely. And as a result, he was given the all clear. Now, Ryan described himself in the show as a little bit of a Prince Charming and a little bit of a bad boy. And the titular Megan found him sweet, despite the fact that he wore obviously fake Rolex watches. And he only brought one pair of pants to a potential five week shoot. Should he go all the way?

[Ed Larson]

Well, I figured, honestly, Megan was. That underwear is like the guard of your pants, Right. In many ways. Why would I need more than one pair of pants if I have underwear between my and piss?

[Henry Zabrowski]

You have a Rolex, but also one pair of pants.

[Ed Larson]

This is called the Bow Lex and it can also fire little darts.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I think a fake Rolex makes a lot more sense than a real Rolex.

[Ed Larson]

It does yeah, because it's just. It's absolutely stupid how much a Rolex cost?

[Marcus Parks]

Yes. Well, as it turned out, Ryan Jenkins did charm Megan Hauserman more than any of the others. The two of them would talk for hours on the phone outside of the shoot.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. Salads, huh? Yeah, I'll eat a salad before an entree. Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

But there was somewhat of a problem with Ryan as far as the producers of the show were concerned. When they found out that Megan was planning to choose him as the winner, they told her that Ryan was coming off as extremely unlikable. In the on camera interviews, women are.

[Ed Larson]

Naturally offended by me. Honestly, I like it. There's something about my general demeanor that makes people just come and at me super antagonistic. Maybe it's because I got. I'm. My dick is so big, it's in my shoes. Maybe sometimes when I talk, people get mad. I don't mean to sound like a misogynist. I just think that women are toys to be broken. With my massive hands, I rented a Lamborghini.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I have to give back in 20 minutes.

[Marcus Parks]

I do remember there was a guy on 90 Day Fiance once who did say on cameras, like, you see, women's brains are naturally smaller than a man's brain. So they need coaching. That was his job is that he life coached women because their brains were smaller than men's.

[Ed Larson]

How do you make their brains bigger?

[Marcus Parks]

You don't. You teach them how to work with their smaller brains.

[Ed Larson]

Oh, wow.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I say stretch their heads.

[Marcus Parks]

Because that's the thing. I mean, while a person might be able to use personal charm to win someone over one on one, the camera can often tell a different story when that person is just talking by themselves. As such, the producers felt that Ryan was coming off so badly in interviews that they were sure that the audience would revolt if Ryan was the winner.

[Henry Zabrowski]

But isn't that good television?

[Marcus Parks]

Well, not if you hate the way it ends.

[Ed Larson]

They.

[Marcus Parks]

There's a, there's, there's a level of like hatred that like, you know, you need a heel, but the heels there is the foil for somebody, you know, that, that more people like this was.

[Ed Larson]

Also weirdly, a more shame filled time period. So they sort of actually cared what they were presenting on the show and kind of like, obviously it was very exploitive. But now we'd go all the way. Now nowadays we'd go all the way and have the villain win and have. Because now that's what everybody likes.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. Well, the producer strongly suggested to Megan Hauserman that she review her options and As a result, she sent Ryan home in the second to last episode. Now, this upset Ryan greatly because Megan had told him privately that she was gonna choose him. But her plan was to call Ryan after the show wrapped three days later to smooth things over.

[Ed Larson]

Don't worry, you didn't get the money. The whole world is embarrassed on national television. But don't worry, I'll call you.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I mean, honestly, what a way to keep it all going. She really wants to be a millionaire.

[Ed Larson]

Oh, she does.

[Marcus Parks]

Well, the thing is, I mean, she was all set to dump the winner and continue her relationship with Ryan Jenkins.

[Ed Larson]

So she said.

[Marcus Parks]

But Ryan didn't answer When Megan after the shoot was over, when he did call her back, he told her that he was so upset after leaving the show that he met a woman in Vegas and married her two days later. That woman was the aforementioned Jasmine Fiore.

[Ed Larson]

I just like, I've never been that upset. I can't imagine that that's the way to do this, to go.

[Marcus Parks]

Be so upset that you go to Vegas and marry a person you.

[Ed Larson]

Let's go. Oh, no. Elvis. Bringing Donovan.

[Marcus Parks]

Now, according to a friend of Jasmine's, the two of them bonded over having the same birthday. And after what I assume was an old fashioned two day Vegas bender.

[Ed Larson]

No.

[Marcus Parks]

What?

[Ed Larson]

No, wait a second.

[Marcus Parks]

May.

[Ed Larson]

May 14th.

[Henry Zabrowski]

The conversation was so riveting that they got to each other's birthdays in the first conversation.

[Marcus Parks]

Dude, look at.

[Ed Larson]

Tell me your favorite color is. 1, 2, 2, 3. Orange. Well, that doesn't matter. That doesn't matter. We could still be together.

[Marcus Parks]

Well, according to the friend of Jasmine's, they bonded over having the same birthday. And after what I assume was an old fashioned two day Vegas bender, they got married at the little white wedding chapel on the Vegas Strip.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Racist.

[Marcus Parks]

And soon after, they moved into a penthouse condo here in Los Angeles. Now, it soon became clear to Jasmine and everyone in her life that Ryan was not only a bad person, but an arrogant prick to boot. He would brag about how his rich father owned an airplane in Canada.

[Ed Larson]

One. One whole airplane. Not just the back, not just the wheels.

[Marcus Parks]

My cousin, he only owns the wheels to an airplane. And it's just not fun.

[Ed Larson]

It's horseshit. Having to share a plane, all the different parts, having them get, and then finding a captain.

[Henry Zabrowski]

But I think he's saving up for axles and everything will be good soon.

[Marcus Parks]

Well, he would also constantly center every conversation on himself and how much money he and his family had. But he was also physically abusive and incredibly jealous.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Always a hitch.

[Marcus Parks]

Always well, yeah, always with this wonderful man. One time, he punched Jasmine in public at a party with enough force to knock her into a pool. All because she'd been chatting with an ex boyfriend. For this offense, he'd been charged with misdemeanor domestic violence, and he had a court date scheduled that December. As a result, Jasmine, meanwhile, told friends she was in over her head and didn't know how to escape the marriage. Especially because Ryan, the Canadian, was counting on it for a green card he wasn't going to let go. Jasmine did, however, soon catch him having sex with another woman in their living room. Sorry.

[Ed Larson]

Her birthday was also May 14th. It's a bit of a fetish of mine.

[Marcus Parks]

So she planned to file for an annulment. But before that could happen, VH1 came calling once again. And in June of 2009, two months before the murder, Ryan left to shoot the third season of a show called I Love Money in Mexico.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, you remember I Love Money?

[Marcus Parks]

No, no, of course not.

[Ed Larson]

VH1.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I don't watch reality television.

[Ed Larson]

Me and Ed watch VH1.

[Marcus Parks]

Me and Ed didn't have cable in 2009. Are you fucking crazy?

[Ed Larson]

I didn't have cable in 1999, so I guess 2009. Ye. That was already. I was already living in New York. I remember hearing money.

[Marcus Parks]

You were probably in, like, hotel rooms watching it.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, maybe that was before I was really working.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah, no, 2009, you were poor. You did not have cable either.

[Ed Larson]

I was broke.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, well, I think it went until 2010.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Oh, okay.

[Ed Larson]

I just remember something.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah, sure.

[Ed Larson]

I remember all those VH1 shows. I like VH1.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I liked VHO when they played Rod Stewart Video.

[Ed Larson]

Incredible television show, of course. And then Late Night Video used to do that. You used to do the sexy videos.

[Marcus Parks]

Oh, like a wicked game.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

And the Joan. The Joan Jet song will do you want to touch me there. Oh, she's a lesbian, apparently.

[Marcus Parks]

Joan Jett. Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Can barely tell.

[Ed Larson]

I didn't know. I was shocked.

[Marcus Parks]

Now, the concept behind I Love Money involved contestants from all the VH1 celeb reality dating shows like Flavor of Love, Rock of Love, and for the Love of Ray J, competing in a series of physical and mental challenges for a $250,000 grand prize. But as far as how the shoot went, producers said that Ryan would constantly call Jasmine from Mexico so she could tell him where she was the night before and who she was with. His jealousy was so ever present that it actually became a season storyline. But as one producer later put it, quote it was funny until it wasn't funny at all. Such a reality show producer thing to fucking say.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. Oh, yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

The jealousy, like when he was calling his wife, his girlfriend's wife every single night asking where the fuck she was and who the fuck she was with. It was real good for like 5. 5 episodes. Then it got boring.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. Then we realized, oh, he's a uncontrollable murderer. Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

Now, once the season was done shooting, Ryan returned to LA and convinced Jasmine that he had changed. He wrote terrible poems and short stories in her honor, saying that he'd had a huge spiritual awakening that would turn everything around.

[Ed Larson]

Your boobs are like clouds. Your hair is like clouds. Your eyes are like two green brown clouds. Your ears are there so you can hear this poem. And your feet, by God, I'd cut them off to keep you next to me. Is that bad Ender?

[Marcus Parks]

Well, he of course hadn't turned anything around. And it only took another month or two before Ryan backsled into not just abuse, but murder. See, on August 13, 2009, Ryan and Jasmine.

[Ed Larson]

Actually. Can you take that back?

[Marcus Parks]

Oh, yeah. It was only a month or two before Ryan backslid into not abuse, but murder.

[Ed Larson]

Thank you.

[Henry Zabrowski]

We'll be right back after this message from quince.

[Marcus Parks]

See, on August 13, 2009, Ryan and Jasmine went to San Diego to attend a poker tournament at the Hilton. Once Ryan and Jasmine sat down to play, they began making everyone at their table uncomfortable with their behavior. Jasmine because she kept making snarky comments and jokes at Ryan's expense, and Ryan because he was getting extraordinarily angry at Jasmine's remarks. Once the game was over, Ryan and Jasmine joined their group for drinks at the Ivy Hotel. But Jasmine spent most of her time on the phone in the bathroom room. The people they were hanging out with said that Jasmine kept sniffling, but when they asked her if she was okay, she just winked. Which they took as evidence that cocaine was present on the night in question.

[Ed Larson]

These guys were really.

[Henry Zabrowski]

This was.

[Ed Larson]

A lot of partying was happening.

[Marcus Parks]

Oh, yeah, it's very. It's a ton of partying. That's. That was kind of their thing. They party, obviously. Yes. They got. They got married after a two day bender in Vegas. Yeah, partying was definitely their thing.

[Ed Larson]

Do you feel like they ever sat sober one time, like having a rotisserie chicken or like hang out and then just be like, you know, babe, there's something about this. It's like, doesn't feel right. Yeah, I hate just sitting peacefully on the couch with you watching Television. I kind of wish that we were somewhere doing cocaine and screaming.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Like, you think of sober people as just people who eat rotisserie chicken.

[Ed Larson]

That's what I like, rotisserie chicken. I see people sit down like, let's sit at the dining room table.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. It's a normal thing for a couple of people who live in a condo in Los Angeles to do. Swing by Gelson's, get a rotisserie chicken. Yeah, of course.

[Ed Larson]

We're just gonna sit here and we should kind of talk about maybe our future if we're gonna date. And he's like, oh, wait a second. All of this is horrible.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I'll go puke up this chicken.

[Ed Larson]

Let's go to Las Vegas.

[Marcus Parks]

Well, it was San Diego.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

Now every time Jasmine came back from the bathroom, Ryan would demand screaming to know who he was talking to on the phone. She said it was her mother, but neither Ryan nor the people present believed her. The last time Jasmine was seen alive by anyone but Ryan was at 2:30am when security cameras caught her and Ryan standing at the valet booth. Two hours later, Ryan returned to their hotel by himself. And by 9am Ryan had checked out. From what police could put together, Ryan severely beat Jasmine in the car and possibly strangled her to death. After their fight escalated, he then returned to the hotel and brought her body into their first floor hotel room through the patio doors that opened to the parking lot where there were no security cameras. Once in the hotel room, Ryan emptied out the suitcase and stuffed Jasmine's body inside. This we do know because for some reason, Ryan took three trips to their car that morning through an area where there were cameras carrying armfuls of clothes.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, I think that that was a gonna be a long tournament. It's a lot of clothes.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah, maybe sometimes you overpack. You want some options. You know, I recently did that. You know, take a couple extra things, you never know what you're gonna feel like wearing the day of.

[Ed Larson]

Natalie told me that it's okay to overpack.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah, it's okay. Totally okay to over pack. I will say if you're gonna kill somebody and they're you leave their body in the car. You don't need to bring them into a public place.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, you've already killed it could just be in the car. Yeah, very good advice.

[Marcus Parks]

Well, after loading the suitcase containing Jasmine's body into her white BMW, Ryan drove 100 miles to the city of Corona, just southeast of LA. Once there, he drove off road to a secluded location and removed the fingertips and teeth from Jasmine's Corpse in the backseat of her car, although we don't really know how he removed the fingertips and the teeth. Ryan then drove 30 miles west to Buena park where he dumped the suitcase containing the body into a dumpster before he returned to their Los Angeles penthouse condo at about 5pm changing the name.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Forever to no Buena Park.

[Marcus Parks]

Two days later, Jasmine's body was discovered by a Corona local while they were dumpster diving for recyclables. By coincidence, that was the same day that Ryan walked into a Los Angeles police station and said that his wife had left to get her nails done but had never returned.

[Henry Zabrowski]

He already had like a half alibi. He could have just said, we got into a fight in San Diego and she took off.

[Marcus Parks]

That's one of the things that you'll see again and again. The alibis are never good because the alibis that are good, we don't hear about them because they're not news stories.

[Ed Larson]

This guy literally was just. The problem is that let's just say this guy, he had a hard time sort of like not following his impulses.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

And so I think that's like. I think his main issue is that he's very impulsive.

[Marcus Parks]

Long term thinking long.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

Well, Ryan still had a pretty good idea that his goose was cooked because before he'd reported her missing, he'd spent the previous 36 hours packing all of his shit into his car. Once he was ready, he left Los Angeles for Vegas.

[Ed Larson]

There you go. Here's one pair of pants. I've got 50 tank tops. Here's my bronzer. All right. Here's my hockey stick. That's everything I've ever had, my real Rolex.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Wink to myself, don't you?

[Ed Larson]

Why are we still talking to ourselves like this?

[Marcus Parks]

Well, in Las Vegas, Ryan picked up his speedboat and then he turned north towards the American Canadian border.

[Ed Larson]

I'm doing it the old fashioned way, the way our ancestors did. I've taken Canada buying water.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I gotta go get my boat that I keep in the middle of the desert.

[Marcus Parks]

It makes no said I gotta go buy water.

[Ed Larson]

They only the only legal way. You wash yourselves on the shores of.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Vancouver, driving around the fountain of the Bellagios.

[Marcus Parks]

Now, before Ryan had left Los Angeles, he'd abandoned Jasmine's white BMW, effectively the murder scene in West Hollywood. And the car was quickly noticed by authorities because the back seat was covered in blood, mud, the wheels were covered in mud and brush was stuck in the undercarriage from Ryan's little off road adventure. And while Ryan had attempted to wipe away Some of the blood. It seems like he gave up fairly quickly because it was very obvious that something horrible had happened in this car.

[Ed Larson]

This is, like, crazy harder than I thought it was going to be. So maybe I could tell him. Oh, all right. Yeah, yeah. I had a super rare hamburger the other day. I just said to the guy, I was like, like, whoa, this a lot of blood, man. Why you giving this me in this paper bag, man? So this is all kind of a corporate issue we're going to have to deal with with checkers.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I'm just going to dispose of this car in the most populated part of Los Angeles.

[Ed Larson]

Exactly. Exactly Right. A perfectly anonymous spot. Hollywood and Vi. Perfect. Yeah. No one's looking for this here.

[Marcus Parks]

Now, the cops immediately issued an arrest warrant for Ryan Jenkins. But when they finally contacted him the day after he left la, he told them he was in Utah and was on his way to Canada to resolve some immigration issues, despite the fact that his wife had just been murdered.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, I had a big old appointment. I gotta go talk to the head moose. Thanks for answering for me.

[Marcus Parks]

Oh, Jerry. Jerry, the head of moose. I know him.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, he's a good friend of mine.

[Henry Zabrowski]

So we'll come back there a while.

[Ed Larson]

We'll wrap up that murdered wife thing once I'm back in nine to 12 days.

[Marcus Parks]

But the police were a hair too late to catch Ryan before he crossed the border. When they found his BMW and boat trailer abandoned at a marina in Blaine, Washington. The engine on his car was still warm.

[Ed Larson]

I smell hairspray. That way. See?

[Marcus Parks]

As soon as Ryan had reached the water, he unloaded his speedboat into the ocean and took off towards a small peninsula attached to Canada called Port Roberts. Once he got there, he abandoned the boat and walked across the Canadian border by foot.

[Ed Larson]

I'm coming back, and there's nothing you could do to stop me.

[Henry Zabrowski]

He could have just taken the boat to Canada.

[Ed Larson]

He could have driven a car. He's just walking. I know exactly how to get to Canada. Go north and just walk in a straight line.

[Marcus Parks]

Well, I mean, he did definitely go there with the purpose of going into Canada. I think he just thought that. That. I think he thought he was a lot more important than he really was.

[Ed Larson]

My thing is I gotta stay anonymous. Everybody's coming for me. Yeah, they all saw me on television. I'm a known quantity, all right. I'm. I'm a superstar.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, I mean, he probably did think that. He's somewhat of a. I mean, he is a F list celebrity at this point.

[Ed Larson]

I put him Marcus G. I don't know if he's that high.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. Even at that.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

Cause at this point.

[Ed Larson]

Well, we're.

[Marcus Parks]

We'll get into it later. Where exactly the. His season of Megan Wants to Be a Millionaire was when all this happen, but the. The place where he went, Point Roberts. It's really interesting. It is still attached to Canada, but it's below the American, like, border. So even though it's part of Canada, it's still America.

[Ed Larson]

What do we. I guess we'll just suck that up or something.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, we already have sucked it up. It's ours. Yeah, man. Now, we don't know if Ryan thought that going back to Canada was going to save him from the murder charge, because before the RCMP could track him down, Ryan took himself out of the equation. See, upon entering Canada, Ryan rented a PT Cruiser of all cars.

[Ed Larson]

All right, Ryan, look around. Which one of these do you want to die in? All right, do I want to take the charger? No, they're up charging me on that. It's crazy. What, they want to do like $600 a day for that. Do I want to do it in the Tesla? No, not electric. Yes, the PT Cruiser. The ultimate suicide destination automobile.

[Marcus Parks]

After that, he drove two hours to the small British Columbian town of Hope, where he checked into a place called the Thunderbird Motel.

[Henry Zabrowski]

That's ironic.

[Ed Larson]

Nothing I like better than killing myself in a PT Cruiser in the town of Hope.

[Marcus Parks]

Well, three days later, his lifeless body was found hanging from his own belt in the closet of his dingy motel room. So maybe he could see the PT Cruiser from the closet.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Well, it was nice enough that he killed himself in Canada, not America.

[Marcus Parks]

That is nice.

[Ed Larson]

You give them the stat.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. Did it at home. But once the murder of Jasmine Fiore and Ryan's subsequent suicide hit the news, VH1 was faced with what to do with Ryan Jenkins, the reality star. See, according to one of Ryan's fellow contestants on I Love Money, that was a Bucky from Flavor of Love, apparently. Oh, yeah, Ryan actually won the competition that season.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, he crushed it.

[Marcus Parks]

He fucking crossed.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Screaming at her all night.

[Ed Larson]

Oh, yeah, all night. They're all like, this guy's hilarious.

[Marcus Parks]

That's the only thing they thought, well, he won. He won all the challenges. That's what it was. It was like a physical and mental challenge thing. So he just won the challenges because he's a single minded.

[Ed Larson]

That's me.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Couldn't win the challenge of life, though.

[Ed Larson]

No, I purposely lost it.

[Marcus Parks]

I chose to lose it. Well, to make matters Worse, Ryan's original introduction into reality tv, Megan Wants to Be a Millionaire, was three episodes into its season when Ryan killed his wife and himself. With no other choice, VH1 canceled Megan immediately. And season three of I Love Money Money never aired at all.

[Ed Larson]

And the President, VH1, he took those tapes as the tears came down his face, and he put it down in the sacred VH1 vault next to Rod Stewart's tiny pants, next to. What was the other guy?

[Henry Zabrowski]

Van Morrison.

[Ed Larson]

Oh, yeah, yeah. Tiny shoes next to all that. And just cried a tear knowing that the single best season of television will never be seen.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yes. Where else are you gonna see all the Paula Cole videos? And the Natalie and Brooklyn.

[Ed Larson]

McLaughlin cried.

[Marcus Parks]

Well, speaking of VH1, they looked fucking awful because they'd let a domestic abuser and future wife murderer onto a dating show. A show he almost won.

[Ed Larson]

He was super Casable. That should be the fucking comeback. Is he won. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like, if he didn't almost win, we'd be wrong.

[Marcus Parks]

Ah, VH1.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, we casted him correctly.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah. They told Megan not to pick him.

[Ed Larson]

Yes.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Oh, wow.

[Marcus Parks]

So then. Yeah, hands are clean. Everything's fine. Well, eventually, the mistake was traced back to an error made by a Canadian court clerk. Although I couldn't find out what that error actually was. But even if it was technically the fault of a third company, the production house that made Ryan shows had to pay Viacom $12 million for the lost revenue due to the cancellation.

[Ed Larson]

Geez, Lou.

[Marcus Parks]

12 mil? Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

As a result, the celeb reality dating show effectively died out and never returned, all because of the actions carried out by ryan Jenkins.

[Henry Zabrowski]

So VH1 became the millionaire.

[Ed Larson]

So in the end, VH1, they set him up, they gave him a bunch of money, they put them all together, did all this stuff, and then they made money on top of it.

[Marcus Parks]

Yep.

[Ed Larson]

That's America.

[Marcus Parks]

It really is.

[Ed Larson]

That's America. Fucking giving it to Canada.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, that really.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, America does give it to Canada.

[Ed Larson]

That's really sad.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

Wait, what are you gonna do?

[Henry Zabrowski]

How's Megan doing?

[Marcus Parks]

She's still around right now.

[Ed Larson]

She's been doing. She actually made a little bit of a life doing. She did Nancy Grace a couple of times. He did a bunch of true crime shows.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Much better than doing Natalia Grace.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, I love her. I love that little lady. But she actually. She was nominated. She won the Fox Reality Television Awards award in the year 2008 for favorite awkward moment moment from Rock of Love 2.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Oh.

[Marcus Parks]

What was the Awkward Moment.

[Ed Larson]

It doesn't say looking at her Wikipedia, but Mary Carey, who is another. Who is a believe a porn act. No, she was just a Playboy model. And that they were all. They all got it at once. I think that they. They kissed or something. They did something together, the three of them. Brandy Cunningham was also involved.

[Marcus Parks]

I did watch Beauty and the Geek, but I don't remember her from it. I mean I watched it sporadically.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

I think in a hotel room.

[Ed Larson]

It was kind of filled. Felt sad.

[Marcus Parks]

It was very sad. Yeah. It's one of those that sounds like a fun idea but then when you do it, it's. It's really sad.

[Ed Larson]

And it probably inspired a lot of evil geeks, you know what I mean? To want to even score.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

Well, now we have another tale coming up and so let's get back in the mood.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Rob.

[Ed Larson]

Sometimes a woman, a man or woman and a woman or man and a man falling in love and they decide to get the government involved. But the next thing you know, everybody's dead.

[Marcus Parks]

Newly wed to newly dead. Season two right now, Season two. This time it's the wife.

[Ed Larson]

It's time for a bride to kill.

[Marcus Parks]

Now, it is exceedingly rare for a wife to kill a husband soon enough after the wedding for it to be considered a newlywed murder, despite everything. Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

But for our other story today, we were able to find a little tale that took place in 2013 where the wife was the perpetrator. That year in Montana, a newly wed wife killed her husband just eight days after their wedding. The wife and murderer here was a 22 year old woman named Jordan Graham, who had first noticed her future husband and victim, Cody Johnson at a Taco Bell following a church service one Sunday evening.

[Ed Larson]

Yum. Christ and the fucking Crunchwrap Supreme. That was probably.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I mean, hopefully you got a Mexi Melt. Do you know? They're back.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. That's nice.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah, I'm really having a good time. No pico for me.

[Ed Larson]

But this is the thing is, I do find it interesting that she decided to like this is. This is another example of young murder. Yes, young.

[Marcus Parks]

Just 22 years old. Jordan and Cody officially met soon after at a Halloween party and began dating. But Jordan and Cody were one of those couples that just didn't really seem to make sense. Where Cody was a magnetic, talkative person. Jordan, the woman who eventually murdered him, was shy and standoffish. But from what Cody told friends, he'd always wanted to marry, quote, a good church girl. And it was said that this description matched Jordan Graham perfectly. In my experience, good church girl usually means quiet and obedient.

[Ed Larson]

The goal is someone that is going to be do a lot of free home labor, that will carry a child and that will generally be silent.

[Marcus Parks]

Yes. But no matter what the attraction was. Kody proposed in December of 2012 and Jordan said yes. It ends in murder. It ends in murder.

[Ed Larson]

Most valid. I always love an engagement no matter how it ends.

[Marcus Parks]

Jordan told friends during the engagement that she was the happiest she'd been in a long time. In fact, she even flew to California just before the wedding to compose a sort of wedding song with a company called Our Story Our Song who specializes in original compositions for weddings, birthdays and anniversaries.

[Ed Larson]

We gotta, we gotta make one of these. Yeah, I want, I've been thinking about this in terms of like, you know, what do you.

[Marcus Parks]

We want. What do you want your song to be?

[Henry Zabrowski]

666 episodes.

[Marcus Parks]

We should do 666.

[Ed Larson]

I feel like there's something the idea of no and like we should start a process like a kind of a production company where we have help non talented people to make music videos like Rebecca Black. They usually do those types of things. We would do all, but it'd be great for like we do the other side. Funerals, divorces, like when bad news, all.

[Marcus Parks]

The worst things happen. Yeah, we're there to make it better.

[Ed Larson]

We're making it better. We'll help you make content for your husband's funeral.

[Henry Zabrowski]

A one and a two and a one, two, three. Jimmy's dead. Jimmy's dead. We're never going to be alive.

[Ed Larson]

Eddie. Gr first take. Try it again before this next take. Let's think about Dawn. What would dawn think?

[Marcus Parks]

Well, from what Cody's friends later said, his and Jordan's relationship was a one sided affair with Cody giving everything and Jordan contributing nothing. Cody's friends actually took bets on when, not if the couple would divorce and they did so in front of Jordan.

[Ed Larson]

You know, in a way sometimes human humor, it does help alleviate some tension, doesn't it?

[Marcus Parks]

It does, it does help alleviate some tension, definitely.

[Ed Larson]

But all of your friends, and this is a tip, if all of your friends are really publicly joking about when you are going to break up with your significant other, it's bad news.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. They know something that you don't and you're not listening to the things that they are telling you that they know.

[Ed Larson]

And it's creating an environment. It's what something bad might happen.

[Henry Zabrowski]

We can get serious about it or we can all just joke While we're hammered, that's what I do.

[Marcus Parks]

Ye. Even though his friends told him to his face that the marriage was a mistake, Cody still tied the knot with Jordan in Montana's Woodland park on June 29, 2013.

[Ed Larson]

I'm getting married next to a tree. I don't give a shit. I do what I want to do. Just like the wolf.

[Marcus Parks]

Jordan, however, had doubts about the marriage immediately and texted this to her maid of honor the day after the wedding.

[Ed Larson]

Tyler just had a meltdown. I'm completely second guessing everything. I don't know if all of this was the right thing. So much happened last night. Just don't know.

[Marcus Parks]

Continuing, she wrote that she hadn't stopped crying since she got married.

[Ed Larson]

I'm talking.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

Never. Every minute, every second, my eyes are wet and my mouth is making huff noises and my babies are going up and down with breaths. Happy.

[Marcus Parks]

She said she should be happy. But she isn't.

[Ed Larson]

I should be, shouldn't I? Look at me. I should be the happiest girl in the whole world.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

And instead the angriest lady in the whole neighborhood.

[Marcus Parks]

And then she said she didn't feel like herself.

[Ed Larson]

No, I don't. I feel different.

[Marcus Parks]

Jordan's friend told her to talk to Cody about all this, but Jordan refused now, saying she didn't want to, don't want to.

[Ed Larson]

It's nothing to do with this. Yes, it's about our marriage, but it's nothing to do with how I feel.

[Marcus Parks]

Well, she said she didn't want to hurt Cody because he seemed so happy.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, he seems to be fine. Fine with it. Not me though.

[Henry Zabrowski]

And she never heard him. Right?

[Ed Larson]

Not. Yeah, but I'm thinking about it now.

[Marcus Parks]

Eight days after the wedding, Cody's stepfather asked the couple if they'd like to go kayaking after church.

[Ed Larson]

Yep. Yeah, absolutely. Let's go. What are you talking about? Go. Oh, yeah, I guess. That is nice. Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

It's Montana.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

You go kayaking after church in Montana?

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah, it's Sunday. It's a day of rest.

[Ed Larson]

If someone came to me in Los Angeles and say, do you want to go kayaking? It feels like it's cuz we're evacuating. We have to leave because there's an emergency.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Especially if they say after church to me, there's no church in Los Angeles.

[Marcus Parks]

Well, Cody declined because Jordan had told him that she had a quote unquote surprise plan. Yeah, as it turned out though, the surprise was her airing out all her doubts about their new marriage.

[Ed Larson]

Okay. K, I'm so glad that you joined me for this meeting. First of all, surprise. Totally unhappy. Just want to say I hate you. I hate your dick. I hate your attitude. I hate your class. I hate your vibe. I hate you.

[Marcus Parks]

Well, a predictable argument ensued. So the couple drove to Glacier national park to talk things out in the presumably calmer environs of nature.

[Ed Larson]

I need to be next to a pine cone in order to immediately enjoy myself. In order for him to be centered, then I have to hear a treble. I must be amongst the dirt and the mulch.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Nothing's like when you get in an argument somewhere and you're like, you know what, let's go to the middle of nowhere.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

Hey, you and me. Hey, let me go check if the issue SUV's juiced up. I want to make sure we can make it to the middle of the forest.

[Marcus Parks]

Well, they arrived in the park just as the sun was going down. Then they parked Cody's car at the bottom of a hiking trail called the Loop on Going to the Sun Road. Might as well be called hey Cody get murdered Here Road.

[Ed Larson]

Keep going. Keep driving. No, we're not, we're not, we're not hidden enough that I mean romantic enough. So let's keep driving. Keep driving. Good. It's getting dark now.

[Marcus Parks]

Even though the sun was already below the horizon, Jordan and Cody got out of their car and embarked on the trail where the argument only got more heated.

[Ed Larson]

You don't love me enough to argue with me in the dark in the middle of the weather. I dare you to argue with me by this log. I dare you.

[Marcus Parks]

Well, eventually they left the trail and edged their way along the bottom of a rock wall all while the argument continued.

[Henry Zabrowski]

So they're like kind of like talking. They're walking on top of a wall?

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, like they're like kind of sidling up along a rock wall while they. You. Fuck you.

[Ed Larson]

No, fuck you. Do you have any of that weird sound that you use for hands to grip onto the tiny little hard edges of the mountain?

[Marcus Parks]

But as Jordan later testified, the two of them finally reached the edge of a ravine. They're way off the hiking trail now. There. Cody grabbed Jordan's arm, which prompted her, as she said to yell at him because she didn't know if he was going to push or pull her.

[Ed Larson]

Let it go.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. And in a flash, Jordan grabbed Cody's hand and brushed it away.

[Ed Larson]

Off me.

[Marcus Parks]

Then as Cody stood above a 200 foot drop, Jordan lost control completely and pushed him in the back with both hands.

[Ed Larson]

Whoops. Oh no.

[Marcus Parks]

Falling face first. Cody Plummeted and hit a rocky outcropping which crushed his right eye socket and created a 7 inch skull fracture.

[Ed Larson]

I think I could fix it.

[Marcus Parks]

When he hit the bottom, a number of his ribs fractured. And in an injury that would be right at home in a fucking schmaltzy TV drama like Grey's Anatomy, his heart literally tore open.

[Ed Larson]

Whoa.

[Marcus Parks]

His heart actually broke.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Poor Cody.

[Marcus Parks]

Poor Cody? Yeah, he just seemed like a normal guy.

[Ed Larson]

Caddy. All right. Caddy. You good? Caddy. Okay, I'm gonna go back. Game of Thrones is on.

[Marcus Parks]

It was Sunday after all. Yeah, well, let me know. She left Cody to die.

[Ed Larson]

Yell two times if you're alive. All right, I'll take this. Let's take the silences. I'll just move on. I'm gonna go hit my teeth open.

[Marcus Parks]

Well, she went back to their car and drove home. But as she left the park, she texted her friend and told her that she was freaking out and didn't know what to do. Although she stayed vague as to what had just happened.

[Ed Larson]

It was so crazy. Cody's said to me, he said to me that a little boy with a.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Feathered hat came into his house the other night, right?

[Ed Larson]

And he took him to a land of little pedophile children. There was a whole pedophile island that he went to with these little pirate boys. And they went and they.

[Henry Zabrowski]

He came back and he said all.

[Ed Larson]

He had to do was. All he had to do was be positive and he'd fly. Oh, yeah, I guess you're positive for being a dickhead.

[Marcus Parks]

You know, he jumped off the cliff or whatever. Well, Jordan did seem to compartmentalize the murder quite well almost immediately. At the same time, she was frantically texting her friend about not knowing what to do. She was also calmly texting a member of her church about rescheduling an upcoming couponing event.

[Ed Larson]

I'm not. Let that fucking bitch Beverly get that 4 for 5 ragu sauce deal ahead of me.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Canceling it. My husband's going to be dead.

[Ed Larson]

Oh, totally. That's fine. Absolutely, actually. And next week, Sophie's husband's going to be dead. Can we do two weeks from now?

[Marcus Parks]

Now, once Jordan got home, she immediately saw the need to create a story that very night. So she called her brother at 11:15pm and told him that she and Cody had just gotten into a big fight.

[Ed Larson]

It's crazy. I disappeared. I went into a totally white area where I was downloaded with a bunch of information of how to use guns in kung fu, right? And he was right in front of me. And we went back and forth and this guy, you believe he flew in the air. It was that. It was crazy. He landed on the edge and he just hovered there. And I just. I was not scout. I was like, you're scaring me, Cody. Get off that tree badge, Cody.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I'm sorry. I wasn't listening, sis.

[Marcus Parks]

Well, her brother came over to her house, and Jordan told him that Cody had gotten a text message from a friend inviting him to join a group of guys in a dark car with out of state plates so they could go riding around for a while, you know?

[Ed Larson]

Okay, yeah. You don't know. It's called stranger carpool. You've never done that?

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah. When a bunch of guys show up to the house and they all got out of state places, I'm always looking at people's license plate.

[Ed Larson]

When they show up to my house.

[Henry Zabrowski]

They'Re all in state or not for.

[Marcus Parks]

Just such an occasion. Actually, not from him. Well, that she said, was the last she'd seen him. But when Cody didn't show up for work the next day, his absence was keenly felt. Because Cody was the type to show up on time every day without, without question. Jordan, meanwhile, waited until 4:30pm to send a message to one of Cody's work friends to ask him. Hey, did Cody come in today? Yeah. But friends said no. So Jordan repeated the story she told her brother, but this time she added some color. This is what these people do, this is why they always get in trouble, is that every time they tell the story, they think of a couple more details to add in, and they think more details is going to make their story more believable. Guess what? It's not.

[Ed Larson]

And some. Sorry, Marcus. It's called world building. And this is all about building.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Lord.

[Marcus Parks]

Well, Cody's hobby was fixing up race cars. So Jordan said that he had left with some mysterious car buddies to go to Washington State. The broom.

[Ed Larson]

Broom boys. Have you ever heard of the term? They call them zoom mates. And what they are. They're men. They do pretty passive homosexual activity inside of race cars. And I.

[Marcus Parks]

Passive? What is passive is passive. You stay there passive naked together.

[Ed Larson]

The thing is.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Pet the penis.

[Marcus Parks]

Pet the penis. Okay, that sounds somewhat active.

[Ed Larson]

If you're passive and you're with an active. You're not gay. Oh, you're passive.

[Marcus Parks]

I see.

[Ed Larson]

And you're with an active. And active, he's doing all the machnuggina and you're just getting the blugginer.

[Marcus Parks]

And that's what the vroom boys do.

[Ed Larson]

Zoom mates.

[Marcus Parks]

But the thing is that she started telling different stories to a bunch of different people. She told others that she'd followed the car Cody left in to the small town of Hungry Horse before she lost track of it. And the conflicting stories made Cody's work friend think that maybe Jordan had something to do with her husband's disappearance.

[Ed Larson]

No. I'm a private eye, and I often follow cars, and I know how to do it properly.

[Marcus Parks]

Wasn't Hungry Horse in Twin Peaks Above a Hungry Horse?

[Ed Larson]

It does.

[Marcus Parks]

Yes, I do believe that it was. I think the actual. Actually, I think. I think that's what. I think that's where Bob was.

[Ed Larson]

Yes.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, that's where Bob was it Hungry Horse.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

He was living above. At a convenience. No, it was the one armed man. He lived above the convenience store in Hungry Horse, Montana.

[Ed Larson]

Whoa. That's crazy. It's connected. Yay. It is in. It's in there.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. Yeah, yeah. That's where Leo Johnson was arrested.

[Ed Larson]

Whoa.

[Marcus Parks]

And held in. In jail over. Overnight.

[Ed Larson]

No. Season two. You're not that episode yet.

[Marcus Parks]

Oh, yeah. Leo locked inside a hungry horse. That's what it was.

[Ed Larson]

That.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Well, right now, Leo's a vegetable.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

Yes.

[Marcus Parks]

Yes. That's gonna get real weird.

[Ed Larson]

You're gonna like.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Cool.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. Well, the conflicting stories that Jordan told to all these different people that made Cody's work friend think that maybe Jordan had something to do with her husband's disappearance. She wasn't fooling anybody.

[Ed Larson]

Great stuff.

[Marcus Parks]

So the friend decided to do a little detective work of his own. He drove to Cody and Jordan's home, where he found the back door unlocked. He let himself inside and tried to find some evidence of what had happened to Cody. But since Jordan had murdered him in the park, he found nothing and left before Jordan returned. Useless. I wondered whether or not to leave that in there because of that. Been reading this great book right now about storytelling and, like, always be escalating and. And that did not. Did not escalate the story in any way whatsoever. It was a. It was a meaningless meander.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Went to the house, door was open, snooped around, saw nothing.

[Ed Larson]

Everything's fine. No mystery. But it's. Would you. Can you imagine looking into a missing coworker?

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, of course. I mean, they were friends. They were work friends and good friends at the same time.

[Ed Larson]

But I mean, it like. Like back in the day when we were working in, like, office. Like, can you imagine looking for somebody?

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah, I think there would be, like, some people I'd look for, but most people, I just be like, oh, we gotta hire somebody to replace this.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, seems Marjorie died. I need a new Marjorie.

[Marcus Parks]

Jordan, meanwhile, had predictably taken to Twitter to post about her missing husband and she was spending her time driving around with her friends to look for him. Her friends, however. Oh my God, it's over there.

[Ed Larson]

Nuts guy.

[Marcus Parks]

Her friends, however, noticed that Jordan didn't seem all that worried and she spent her time in the car giggling and texting instead of looking, sucking on a Jamba juice.

[Ed Larson]

He's in a better place now, and I don't mean he's dead. It's probably like New Orleans.

[Marcus Parks]

Have you been a hungry horse? It's nice. Well, it's about the time that the cops asked Jordan to come in for an interview.

[Ed Larson]

I'd love to do an interview now.

[Marcus Parks]

For some reason, Jordan changed her story entirely from the one she'd been telling friends and family for days. Instead of the car buddy story, Zoom mates. Fru FRU boys. She told the cops that Cody had left while she was out running an errand. The cops, who were very polite to Jordan throughout, told her that they felt she wasn't being totally honest with them. What?

[Ed Larson]

You'd say that to Tits? How dare you say that to tits.

[Henry Zabrowski]

That's my new name by the way.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, Even so, Jordan was let go after only 30 minutes of questioning. Now at this point Jordan started to panic, so she decided to help along the story a little. The morning after she talked to the cops, she returned to the police station claiming that she'd received a mysterious email from carman tony607gmail.com I can't even believe.

[Ed Larson]

You have to go put what kind of man he was in it.

[Marcus Parks]

It read quotes.

[Ed Larson]

This is what Tony said. My name is Tony. There's no bother looking for Cody anymore. He's gone. So passed on Twitter and thought I would email you. This is from Tony. He had come with some buddies and met up with me on some Columbia Falls. He was saying he needed to be with his butters for about and take them for a jaw ride. Tony sang in an email to me, I'm Jordan, he's a car man. He's your car man.

[Marcus Parks]

The 607th you wouldn't believe through the.

[Ed Larson]

Guys come back saying that they had gone for a ride in the woods somewhere and Cody got out of the car, went for a little hike and they were positive and fell and he's dead, Jordan. What? I don't know who the guys were. You don't say but they took off. So call off the missing persons report. Cody's gone for sure. This is from Tony. Wow. I didn't say for a second there I was super nervous, but good work. Again, clever Than Arrow. Ego. Police.

[Henry Zabrowski]

He got police.

[Ed Larson]

Mr. Police.

[Marcus Parks]

Now, obviously, this email was written and sent by Jordan herself, you, narrator. But the cops probably figured Jordan's not going anywhere, and sooner or later, she was going to lead them to Cody's body herself. And that, of course, is exactly what she did. The same day that she and her mother went to the police station to report the email, she led a group of friends out towards Glacier national park, because the park, she said, was where Cody liked to take friends visiting from out of town. If the car buddies came, then that's where he's going to take them because they're so beautiful.

[Ed Larson]

They. According to some of the research I did.

[Marcus Parks]

Why you suddenly turn your mother so weird?

[Ed Larson]

According some of the research I did, Zoom Mates, they work in packs and they like to go outside. And that's just something from the research I've done about Zoom mates.

[Marcus Parks]

Well, the group stopped at the same loop where Jordan and Cody had parked a few days earlier. And almost immediately, Jordan started walking towards the area where she'd pushed her new husband off a cliff, because she was pretty much ready to kind of put a button on this whole thing and move on.

[Ed Larson]

Can you even imagine what it'd be like if he was thrown from this cliff?

[Marcus Parks]

Jordan's brother, however, told her that it was too dangerous to go down there, and he stopped her from going any further. They then left, but returned the next day to the same spot to hand out a missing persons flyer to park goers. If you see this corpse, please let us know.

[Ed Larson]

Have you seen this flat man?

[Marcus Parks]

But Jordan just couldn't stay away from the area where she killed her husband. And when her family asked her why she was so interested in that area in particular, she said, quote, I just have a feeling. And sure enough, after she finally reached the spot and looked into the ravine.

[Ed Larson]

Oh, my God.

[Marcus Parks]

She told the people with her that she thought she might have spotted something.

[Ed Larson]

Something. Looks like somebody spilled something. Something like a guy.

[Marcus Parks]

After others looked as well, Cody Johnson's body was finally recovered and fished out of the water 200ft below. Jordan, however, calmly walked away and got into her car with her bridesmaid, who drove them both out of the park. Jordan began rambling and said now that they had found Cody's body, she could finally call the detective working the case.

[Ed Larson]

And, quote, get him out of my business.

[Marcus Parks]

Yep. Jordan's calm demeanor also disturbed the park ranger who had her fill out a witness statement that day. Furthermore, when he asked her how she knew where to find Cody's body, Especially since it was so far off the trail, she said that it was a place that Cody had wanted to see before he died.

[Henry Zabrowski]

At the bottom of a creek bed.

[Ed Larson]

He said honestly that he really wanted to see the creek bed, Literally directly in the seconds before he died.

[Marcus Parks]

Some might say it was the last thing he wanted to say.

[Ed Larson]

Up close view of them. Am I right? Oh, I mean, who.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I'm going to leave.

[Ed Larson]

I got to go. Honestly, I got to go drink some water so I can cry.

[Henry Zabrowski]

This is where my husband's body is. I'm going to go now.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. A place he wanted to see before he died. It was the park next to his house, apparently. Meanwhile, that same morning, One of the detectives on Cody's case was walking his dog when he just happened to find himself in front of Cody and Jordan's home. Working off a hunch, he opened the garbage can Jordan had just left on the street for collection. Inside, he found love letters, stuffed animals, and part of Jordan's wedding dress. She's house cleaning real fast.

[Ed Larson]

Just understand.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Depart her own wedding dress.

[Marcus Parks]

She did.

[Ed Larson]

But this is to remember. This is what cops look at. And it's what private detective looks at, too. This exactly would do the first thing. You don't understand how much evidence you put in a garbage can.

[Marcus Parks]

Can. Yeah. So the cop dragged the garbage can back to his house, Dumped out everything in his garage, Took photos, Stuffed it all back in the can and dragged it back to Jordan's. And this was before the cop even knew that Cody's body had been found. See, Jordan effectively throwing away anything having to do with her and Cody's relationship. That's not necessarily evidence for murder, but it definitely showed that Jordan was already trying to put the marriage behind her While her husband was supposed supposedly just missing.

[Henry Zabrowski]

If your husband was just, like, randomly dead, you would save everything.

[Marcus Parks]

Well, no, that's the thing at this point, like, he's not even officially dead. He's just like. At this point, she's still saying he went out. Oh, yeah, the email, I suppose. Yeah, I forgot about the e. I forgot the email told her that he was dead.

[Ed Larson]

A well, trusted imaginary friend of mine told me what was happening.

[Henry Zabrowski]

She's so uncreative.

[Ed Larson]

He was a car, car man.

[Marcus Parks]

Oh, God, there's already so many car man. Townies. 607.

[Ed Larson]

All right, how many Carmen are there?

[Marcus Parks]

One, two, three.

[Ed Larson]

I'm gonna say 606.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I wonder if her own email was the recovery email for Carmen.

[Marcus Parks]

Jordanjordanjordanjordanmail.com.

[Ed Larson]

That'S for me.

[Marcus Parks]

Now. When Cody's memorial in potluck was held a few days later, some of Cody's. Okay, it's Mont memorial in potluck. You have a potluck? At the memorial, some of Cody's friends noticed that his widow, who should have been devastated after losing her husband a little over a week after getting married, she was laughing, socializing, spending a lot of time on her phone.

[Ed Larson]

I'm coming. I want the laugh tonight. Hey, how you doing, aunt Ethel? It's getting serious. Meatballs are on fire.

[Henry Zabrowski]

You know, I thought there'd be more Carmen here.

[Marcus Parks]

None of that Carmen show up.

[Ed Larson]

This is so disappointing. I got to talk to car man Johnny. He's the other one. He's my other friend.

[Marcus Parks]

Does he know car man Freddy?

[Ed Larson]

Do you know carman Freddy?

[Marcus Parks]

Pretty soon the FBI got involved. And once that happened, it was over for Jordan. They not only traced the mysterious email from Tony as having been sent from Jordan's parents house that morning, they also came up with security footage.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Are you saying that her mother is the car man?

[Ed Larson]

Wait a second. My mom is implicated in us?

[Marcus Parks]

Oh, my God. I can't believe mom. Oh my God.

[Ed Larson]

Don't tell me you go as a dude on mine.

[Marcus Parks]

Well, they also came up with security footage from the night Cody died which showed Jordan and Cody entering Glacier national park together. Jordan was brought in for questioning again. And after retelling the car buddy story, she was shown a photographic still of her and Cody in entering the park. Yeah, all she could do at that point was cry, cry. And she was arrested on the spot for first degree murder.

[Ed Larson]

Bring it back around now.

[Marcus Parks]

During her trial, the defense argued that Jordan had a childlike personality that had become overwhelmed at the prospect of marriage.

[Ed Larson]

I'm just a wittle baby. I'm a little baby girl. I have to kill. I have to kill again.

[Marcus Parks]

Oh, I thought you were doing a Michael Jackson.

[Ed Larson]

I'm just a little boy. It's close.

[Marcus Parks]

The murder they said was a tragic accident. And she'd only lied because she didn't think anyone would believe her side of the story. She'd pushed him. Yes, but she hadn't meant to kill him. The prosecution, however, was able to argue intent. That is very important for first degree murder.

[Ed Larson]

Oh, yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

They said that the area where Jordan pushed Cody off the cliff was well off the beaten path and they actually had to climb over a retaining wall to get over there.

[Ed Larson]

And I'm really trying to. I'll never blame Cody for this, but guys don't. Yeah. Do not do this. You go to the. Most people go outside. You go where there are witnesses and humans. You don't cross to a deeper terrain when you are in mid fight ever.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah. Go to a poker tournament in San Diego.

[Ed Larson]

You dare?

[Marcus Parks]

But Cody's friends also testified that Cody would never go off trail on a hike, which meant that Jordan had probably convinced him to go there. If that was true, then it could be argued that Jordan may have planned to push Kody off a cliff all along just so she could get out of her marriage without having to go through a divorce.

[Ed Larson]

I blame what Looney Tunes did to me and told me that the Wile E. Coyote was somebody to look up to.

[Marcus Parks]

But in the end, just as the defense rested its case, it seems like either Jordan or her lawyers recognized that they were fighting a lost cause and a turn that shocked everyone. Jordan very suddenly pled guilty to second degree murder. She was sentenced to 30 years in prison, but will probably serve far less, which means she might be released this decade. If so, Jordan will be in her mid to late 30s upon reentering society. And if she does end up marrying again, let's hope that this time she's ready.

[Henry Zabrowski]

That's not even that bad of a punishment.

[Ed Larson]

It's really not.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. 30 years in prison. Second. Well, she pled guilty. Second degree murder. You know, you probably get out after 15, 20, 18. Yeah, 18. 18, tops. Yeah. She's getting out on parole. Absolutely.

[Ed Larson]

And I think that this is the time for us to really talk about second chances. If you just look at her. She's cute. You know, I'm looking at Jordan Graham right now, and I just think that, honestly, there's. There's some lucky man. Man out there. It's gonna make an honest woman out of her. Just. And I can't wait.

[Marcus Parks]

Just make sure she's honest about being ready.

[Ed Larson]

That means you need to be ready.

[Marcus Parks]

You really need to be ready. When you go into a marriage, the.

[Ed Larson]

Key to ask her when you're gonna ask her to marry you is to be like, are you ready? Ask her twice.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

And if she says yes twice, then she's got to be legally ready.

[Marcus Parks]

Legally ready? Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Prenup. If she kills you, then, you know, she won't get all the money.

[Ed Larson]

That's a great idea.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, that's a great.

[Marcus Parks]

Specifically if she kills you.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. Wow. We learned a lot today.

[Marcus Parks]

We learned much.

[Ed Larson]

We learned to be afraid of your wife and husband. Which is what I love about all true crime. My favorite all the shows. It's like, you know, like there's the world's scariest neighbor. There's the other thing. I love that, that show.

[Marcus Parks]

I mean, Fatal Vows is by far my favorite true crime show. I love Fatal Vows because me and, me and Carolina watch it at home and the game we play is trying to guess, like, who is the. Who's going to be the murderer? Is it going to be the husband or is it going to be the wife? Because it's. It's actually fair. It's kind of. They keep it pretty even. They do. They do a really good job of. Yeah. Making you guess. Yes.

[Ed Larson]

I'm really proud of them. And I love, you know, we all. We're true crime people. I'm ensconced in true crime 24 7. But next week we are starting, I'm gonna say one of the. I am so excited for this series.

[Marcus Parks]

Very excited for this series.

[Ed Larson]

We have got a lot of shit coming up, so I want to say thank you guys for being here. Thank you for your strength and honor in talking about the LA fires that we are currently in the middle of. Which reason why we had to push our big series series for a week. But it's good to be back. We're safe, we're stronger.

[Marcus Parks]

The winds have died down.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, we're stronger than storm.

[Henry Zabrowski]

We're gonna be all right.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, we're gonna be okay. Yeah. But thank you very much for all of your well wishes and thank you for all the. All the shit that you sent. In fact, the. The episode that we're gonna do, the series we're gonna start next week actually came from a listener who sent us the book that we're gonna use as our main source. So I'm gonna make sure to thank that listener personally next week.

[Henry Zabrowski]

How exciting.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, very exciting for that person. Go to patreon.com lastpodcast on the left if you want to excited. I am right now.

[Ed Larson]

LP on the left for all our socials. I don't know what Tick Tock is gonna be. We have no idea. But it'll be on Instagram, so go on there.

[Marcus Parks]

I think it's gonna. From what it looks like, it's gonna shut down on my birthday.

[Ed Larson]

Wow. Wow. Congrats.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Phenomenal birthday present.

[Ed Larson]

I will say it's great for marketing, which we've just found out.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yes.

[Ed Larson]

But you know, there will be others.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, there'll be others, though. It's something.

[Henry Zabrowski]

It will be replaced almost immediately.

[Marcus Parks]

It will be also go to LPN tv. Check out all of our streams on Twitch at Twitch TV LPNTV if you want to see them live. You can also check out our YouTube channel to see everything after the fact. And if you want to come see us on tour, you can go to lastpodcastontheleft.com and click shows. That's where you can see our dates for Detroit Atlanta. Coming up. We reschedule Atlanta.

[Ed Larson]

We did.

[Marcus Parks]

That's for June. We're also going to come to Toronto and Nashville over the next few months.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I can't wait to be Dallas on February 22nd. Can't wait for that show. I've never spent time in Dallas other than the airport where I fall asleep off.

[Marcus Parks]

You know, it's incredible. Dallas is cooler now than it was when I was a kid.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Really?

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

I love Deep Ellum. Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

I don't know how it happened.

[Henry Zabrowski]

It was bound to happen.

[Ed Larson]

And also, food's great. I can't wait. I can't.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Food is good in Dallas.

[Ed Larson]

In Dallas. Oh, yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I would have never expected that.

[Ed Larson]

Of course, buddy. Barbecue, man.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Barbecue and Mexican food.

[Ed Larson]

All. All of it.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Tex Mex.

[Ed Larson]

Oh, yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Cheese.

[Marcus Parks]

I mean, call me crazy, but I kind of like Dallas better than Austin now. Whoa. Call me crazy. Call me crazy, but crazy. All right.

[Ed Larson]

Hail sweet Satan and we'll see you guys next week.

[Marcus Parks]

Hail gy. Then hail the.

[Henry Zabrowski]

The Zoom Mates.

[Marcus Parks]

The Zoom Mates. The Zoom Mates. Hail Zoom. Hail Zoom.

[Ed Larson]

They banded together to corrupt my husband.