Episode 606: The Tragedy of the Batavia Part II - Batavia's Graveyard

Summary

Last Podcast on the Left: Episode 606 – The Tragedy of the Batavia Part II: Batavia's Graveyard

Hosts: Marcus Parks, Henry Zabrowski, and Ed Larson
Release Date: January 31, 2025
Podcast Network: The Last Podcast Network
Description: Exploring the horrors of the world, both real and imagined. From demons to serial killers, satisfying your bloodlust with every episode.

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1. Introduction

Marcus Parks welcomes listeners to The Last Podcast on the Left, setting the stage for Part II of the Batavia tragedy. The episode delves deeper into the catastrophic events surrounding the Dutch ship Batavia, examining the intricate dynamics that led to its eventual downfall.

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2. Setting the Scene: The VOC and the Batavia

VOC Overview:

• The Dutch East India Company (VOC), hailed as the most successful corporation of its time, spearheaded ambitious voyages to the Indies.
• The Batavia was one of VOC's flagship ships, carrying a significant portion of the company's wealth—a tenth of their entire earnings, totaling around $7.8 million in silver (02:03).

Key Characters:

• Upper Merchant Francisco Pelsaert: The VOC representative overseeing the Batavia’s journey.
• Captain Ariana Jacobs: The seasoned captain of the Batavia, burdened by years at sea.
• Euronymous Cornelis: An under merchant with a dark, amoral disposition, plotting mutiny.

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3. Life on Board: Extreme Conditions and Hierarchies

Living Conditions:

• The Batavia housed 341 passengers and crew aboard, facing dire conditions by modern standards.
• Scurvy was rampant, with nearly a dozen men succumbing to its debilitating effects over six months (02:21).

  Marcus Parks (02:51): “A tenth of the VOC's entire earnings were on board the Batavia.”

Food and Sanitation:

• Diet: Primarily cask meat, legumes, and hardtack, which required soaking in seawater to be edible (43:13).
• Hygiene: Only four latrines for the entire crew led to unsanitary conditions, exacerbating the spread of diseases (39:46).
• Vermin Infestation: The ship was plagued by rats and lice, significantly increasing the mortality rate (50:15).

Social Structure:

• Strict hierarchies maintained by severe punishments outlined by VOC policies.
• Punishments: Included flogging, keel hauling, and other brutal methods to deter mutiny (30:09).

  Marcus Parks (30:42): “They would execute the leaders or punish them in a variety of increasingly brutal ways.”

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4. Brewing Resentment: Captain Jacobs and Euronymous Cornelis

Captain Jacobs:

• A veteran sailor in his mid-40s, fatigued by the relentless sea life.

  Ed Larson (10:14): “I'm feeling. I'm. I'm feeling. Jacobs.”

• Harboring a deep resentment toward Upper Merchant Pelsaert due to a previous altercation (16:04).

Euronymous Cornelis:

• A greedy and amoral under merchant, influenced by Dutch Gnostic Johannes Tous, believing himself incapable of sin (06:22).
• His personal life was fraught with tragedy, including a failed apothecary business, a sick wife, and the loss of his child (05:02).

Mutual Alliances:

• Friendship and Collaboration: Jacobs and Cornelis bond over mutual disdain for Pelsaert, setting the foundation for the planned mutiny (08:36).

  Ed Larson (25:15): “Captain Jakobs and Euronimus Corelas had become friendly during their six months at sea.”

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5. Escalating Tensions: Mutiny Plots and Failed Attempts

Initial Attempts:

• Their first mutiny plan involved attacking Upper Merchant Pelsaert directly, but Pelsaert’s sudden recovery thwarted their strategies (35:10).

Recruitment:

• Cornelis cunningly recruits key crew members, including the boatswain, solidifying their control (65:40).

  Ed Larson (67:09): “They were keeping, they're going by one by one.”

Failed Attack:

• An assault on Cria Yan's Servant—a pivotal woman aboard—intended to incite chaos and turn the crew against Pelsaert, backfired as Pelsaert chose to punish Captain Jacobs instead (73:37).

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6. The Shipwreck: A Turning Point

Navigational Errors:

• Under Captain Jacobs’ impaired judgment, the Batavia missed the critical northern turn into the Roaring Forties, leading to catastrophic consequences (76:42).

  Marcus Parks (80:31): “Captain Jakobs discovered just how wrong he was when the Batavia slammed into the reef at full speed.”

Impact and Aftermath:

• The ship was impaled on the Houtman's Abrolos Reef, causing immediate structural damage (83:00).
• Efforts to save the ship were futile as the main mast crushed equipment, and the hull began to flood, leaving the crew with no choice but to evacuate (84:37).

Evacuation Chaos:

• Survivor Exodus: 180 survivors were forced onto a small, barren island named Batavia's Graveyard, with few supplies (85:51).
• Division Among Survivors: Pelsaert took a select group, leaving the majority to face dire conditions.

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7. Conclusion and Cliffhanger

As the Batavia lay wrecked and the survivors struggled for survival on the desolate island, the Seeds of Betrayal and Violence set by Jacobs and Cornelis began to blossom. The episode concludes with the anticipation of further bloodshed and chaos in Part III, promising an in-depth exploration of the ensuing horrors on Batavia's Graveyard.

Marcus Parks (99:58): “This is lifted right from the witness recollect. It's great.”

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Notable Quotes

• Ed Larson (04:14): “I remember when we came on Captain Jacobs? Yeah, Captain Jacobs is a salty ass dog, and he's getting too old for this.”
• Marcus Parks (22:44): “The surgeons were, like, the tradesmen. They were like contractors; they could fix anything.”
• Henry Zabrowski (55:08): “She's too hot to be a mom.”
• Ed Larson (74:29): “My favorite flavor, strawberry kiwi.”

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Key Takeaways

• Organizational Brutality: The VOC’s harsh punishments effectively suppressed mutinies but fostered intense resentment among crew members.
• Human Nature Under Duress: Extreme conditions and deprivation pushed individuals towards desperation, making mutiny a conceivable outcome.
• Leadership Failures: Captain Jacobs’ inability to manage the crew and his alliance with Euronymous directly contributed to the Batavia’s tragic fate.
• Historical Horror: The story of the Batavia serves as a grim reminder of the perils of 17th-century maritime voyages and corporate exploitation.

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Stay Tuned

Join us in Part III of The Tragedy of the Batavia, where the grim realities of Batavia's Graveyard unfold, revealing unthinkable acts of violence and survival amidst the wreckage.

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This summary is intended for informational purposes and aims to encapsulate the key elements discussed in the podcast episode. For the full experience, listening to the episode is highly recommended.

Transcript

[Marcus Parks]

There's no place to escape to.

[Henry Zabrowski]

This is the last on the left.

[Ed Larson]

That's when the cannibalism started. What was that? I don't drone on. I'm pretty succinct. People have said that about my bits. Yeah, people say, Henry, what a great self editor. Which is why today I'm gonna start with. No, I'm not gonna do. I'm not gonna do the big song. We're not starting with a sea shanty. No, Gurney's requested it.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, of course.

[Ed Larson]

But I shanty.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

I'm drawing a line in the water.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, Gurney's a big fan of sea shanties. Doesn't want to hear his butcher him.

[Ed Larson]

Oh, do you want to hear, Rob, can you give me the way to go home? Just show me that.

[Marcus Parks]

But that's the way to go home.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I'm tired and I want to go to bed.

[Ed Larson]

Yo, I remember. Is that a sh. About an hour ago. And it went straight to my head.

[Marcus Parks]

Welcome to the last podcast on the left, ladies and gentlemen. My name is Marcus Parks. I'm here with the self editing Henry Zabrowski.

[Ed Larson]

Well, Mick, sure.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Wow. It's more annoying somehow.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, way more annoying. And here with the sick of it all, Ed Larson.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I'm so sick of Henry's. Man, I'm so sick, man. I puked out my penis.

[Ed Larson]

Yep. And I hope you die. I hope it kills you. I hope scurvy. I hope my content kills you. It will.

[Marcus Parks]

And we're here for the Batavia. Yeah. Part two.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. Now we're really going to get into it. Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I really like Batavia because it makes a. It's. It's a good artificial sweetener.

[Ed Larson]

God damn it. At the very top.

[Marcus Parks]

Now, to really make sure we're all on the same page here, we're going to back up the story just a little to really examine the mood on the Batavia and the relationships between the crew that resulted in a mutiny planned by two VOC employees, Captain Ariana Jacobs. And under merchant Euronymous Cornelis.

[Ed Larson]

See, I know that it's Ariana or Ariane.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

But then I just think Ariana Grande.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So just don't imagine Ariana Grande as the ship captain of the ship.

[Henry Zabrowski]

She took over a mutinied. Wicked.

[Ed Larson]

That's right. That she mutinied and took over that spongebob sticking balls.

[Marcus Parks]

That's right.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. She better made her throat slimmer so that she could make his penis feel bigger.

[Henry Zabrowski]

That's pretty slim throat.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, well, mutinies.

[Ed Larson]

God.

[Marcus Parks]

That a good way to start, mutinies were actually quite rare on VOC ships. And in fact, it was entirely unheard of for a mutiny to be led by a VOC officer like Euronymous Corneli, as most under merchants in his position were vetted to ensure they had no mutinous qualities.

[Ed Larson]

We talked about this in the very beginning when we were talking about how they assembled the team for this is that normally they hire from within. Yeah. So normally it's a guy works his way up certain amount and normally these trips out to the Indies were reserved for people that either were, I guess, the best of the best of the best or the worst of the worst of the worst seem to be. No in between. He went in and said like he just got in. Remember, because he was educated.

[Marcus Parks]

Well, a captain vouched for him.

[Ed Larson]

Yes. So he got in. But the rest of them were like scared to death of their bosses. Yeah. Because they knew what they would do.

[Henry Zabrowski]

What's a mutinous quality like bestiality or if you.

[Ed Larson]

Only if you're on a ship of dogs.

[Marcus Parks]

Well, if you'll remember, the conditions for being an under merchant required that they not be bankrupt. Because while the VOC did need an air of desperation in an employee in order for them to risk their life for a trip to the Endies, a reek of desperation could lead to them getting ideas about the 500 pound chest full of treasure down in the hole.

[Ed Larson]

The trip has to be worth more than what's in the boat.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, yeah, very much does. Because at this point, Henry was telling me the other day, a tenth of the VOC's entire earnings were on board the Batavia.

[Ed Larson]

Yes. So a tenth of their entire corp was sitting underneath their feet as they were floating out into the middle of the Indian Ocean. Ocean.

[Henry Zabrowski]

And they're the most successful corporation of all time?

[Marcus Parks]

Well, technically, well, the most. I mean, not compared to what, you know, businesses today do. They're not even close. But they were the first successful corporation and definitely the most successful corporation of their day. Okay, now I wouldn't say that Euronymous Corneli's necessarily had the desperation wreak. Rather, Euronimus was simply greedy and amoral with nothing to lose, as the only things waiting for him back in the Netherlands were a failed apothecary business, a sick wife and his dead baby's grave.

[Ed Larson]

And I'll tell you what, my sick wife just will not have sex with me on that grave, no matter what poison I bring home. I try to be with my haunted wife and I wish I could see My dead child, but instead I'll be a king of an island.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Also, you can just say baby grave.

[Ed Larson]

Is true. Well, it's better than just a baby's grave. Could just sound like you just put an infant in a hole.

[Henry Zabrowski]

That's true.

[Marcus Parks]

You know, I had a lot of. I actually debated a lot about that, about whether or not I should say just baby's grave or dead baby's grave. And I thought like, well, you know, sometimes people buy graves in advance, but you don't normally buy graves in advance for children.

[Ed Larson]

Super not confident person. That's how you know if your parents think it would be so nice if first thing you get somebody for their child's christening is. And just in case, I bought a little plot right over here. As you could see, it's right by the restrooms. So you can go and throw up out of grief first and then go look at the grave and this casket.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Look how smart small it is.

[Ed Larson]

Spider man theme just like what he loves.

[Marcus Parks]

But concerning the morality of fermenting a mutiny on a ship with women and children aboard, Euronymous had no qualms with the consequences of his actions, for he was a so called heretic.

[Ed Larson]

Yes, I care about nothing and I like it.

[Marcus Parks]

His personal philosophy, influenced by the famous Dutch Gnostic Johannes Tous, held that he was incapable of sin, that no thought or deed, not even murder, could be described as evil or even wrong.

[Ed Larson]

And then I got deep in the up to the balls with Dan Carlin's Prophets of Doom, like all of the story about the Anabaptist rise and Munster and all this. And I found out that like essentially the same crew of Anabaptists which we brought up last episode were like kind of what Euronymous grew up in. And it was a very specific sect of guys that were essentially the Protestant version of Isis that decided to just start attacking a bunch of after the Lutheran break of all the. The Protestant Reformation of the church. Basically Martin Luther put a little tenant in there that says you're allowed to go interpret the Bible as you want. And it caused all this chaos. And so the Anabaptist one sect went so far that they were like, oh, we're now destroying churches and reliquaries and doing all this. Aren't you happy? Martin Luther. Martin Luther says, no, please stop emailing because he doesn't want anything to do with it. But then this Anabaptist crew took over Munster and did this whole calling of all these people. And so it's from that guy, those guys Comes Euronimous.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah, I'm glad we have this show for you to talk to me about this stuff, because if you do it outside of here, gonna have to beat you up.

[Ed Larson]

My deep, long info dumps. Historical slash horror movie thing. They. It's a feature, not a bug. People like it.

[Marcus Parks]

Well, that's all to say that Euronymous felt no guilt over what he was about to do. And his only thought concerned the life of luxury and freedom that all the treasure on the Batavia would give him once it was in his grubby little hands. Euronymous, however, was in essence an apothecary who'd never been on a ship like the Batavia before this journey. So he didn't really have the cred necessary to organize a mutiny without someone who could speak the language of the sailors. But Euronymous found a way around his lack of cred when he became friends with the Batavia's captain, Ariana Jacobs.

[Ed Larson]

Yes, we can be friends, can't we, Mr. Grande? This guy's old, salty dog. Dude, you remember when we came on Captain Jacobs? Yeah, Captain Jacobs is a salty ass dog, and he's getting too old for this.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah, it's the truth.

[Marcus Parks]

And we checked the pronunciation. We actually did. That is the proper way to the proper 16th, 17th century Dutch way to say Jacobs.

[Ed Larson]

Yako. Yeah, yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

There's lots of Jakobs and Euronimuses, and, like, all the names are, like, so close to the other one's name.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

You're doing a wonderful job, Marcus.

[Marcus Parks]

Thank you.

[Ed Larson]

In our best. I went through hardcore history in that podcast, and there's four different Bernards, there's two different Yawns, and you're just. There's nothing you could do. Yeah, they just were lazy with the names. I don't know why the Dutch people were lazy with the names.

[Henry Zabrowski]

They were complaining about how all the splinters in their feed from the wooden shoes. Also, whenever I hear Euronimous, I feel like it should be yelled like Euronimous.

[Marcus Parks]

Now, it was almost as rare for a captain to mutiny on a VOC ship as it was for an under merchant to do the same. But Jakobs had a few reasons of his own for getting a mutiny together. Firstly, Jakobs was a man in his mid-40s, and therefore one of the ship's elders. He was the very definition of. I'm getting too old for this shit.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, God damn it. It's just always him with a fucking cool hanging out of his mouth. He's got one of those, like, heavy welt belts all times Been like, God damn. What now? God damn it.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Can I do one real. I'm getting too old for this.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, it's even getting old to say it. Getting old. I hurt my back, too, yesterday.

[Marcus Parks]

The gym.

[Ed Larson]

So I'm actually kind of. I'm. I'm feeling. Jacobs.

[Marcus Parks]

I hurt my back writing this script. Wow.

[Ed Larson]

From Chling. And our. And our imagined responses. No.

[Marcus Parks]

What were you doing? I was crouching. For nine hours straight? Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

Why were you crouching?

[Marcus Parks]

When I write, I hunch. I try.

[Henry Zabrowski]

A little gargoyle in there?

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, I try. I try to stand up straight. I even tried using one of those. Those back things. Doesn't work. Doesn't work.

[Ed Larson]

You know what Nathalie does? Sometimes tries to touch my butthole. While you're working, sometimes you come up sticks. You straight up.

[Marcus Parks]

I'll see if Carolina can add that to her schedule.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Hey, you pay me, I'll do it.

[Marcus Parks]

Noted. Well, to give you an idea of who Captain Jacobs was, he'd been working at sea for two decades and had taken several trips back and forth to the Indies on behalf of the VOC.

[Ed Larson]

Which is like you're 195 in sailor years. Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

To survive, not be alive.

[Marcus Parks]

No, no. To survive that many trips, you got to be a hardy motherfucker. But by the time the Batavia reached the Cape of Good Hope, six months into their journey, Jakobs was absolutely exhausted with the lifestyle.

[Ed Larson]

God damn it, I'm sick of going these capes of good hopes. How about fucking one of these Cape of Good Asses or something? We need some kind of something else.

[Marcus Parks]

In fact, Captain Jacobson, talking about his lot, was known to repeat one phrase over and over.

[Ed Larson]

If only I was younger, I'd do something different.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, that was it. That was just. He would say that Euronymous over and over and over.

[Ed Larson]

If I just got one shot, I'd dance.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Such a sad catchphrase.

[Ed Larson]

If only I was younger. I've been saying this since I was 4.

[Marcus Parks]

Oh, you suddenly turned to Tom Waits.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, I'm talking to teacups. And I had a relationship with an elevator here. Tom Waits. Jason.

[Marcus Parks]

But the thing that really spurred Captain Jacobs into mutiny was good old fashioned hatred, which was directed at upper merchant Francisco Pelsart.

[Ed Larson]

Hello. And I realized before, he's not Paul Rudd, he's Mel Gibson.

[Marcus Parks]

He's very much a Mel Gibson type in this story. So let's get a little recap on upper merchant Pelsart, who, if you'll remember, was the man in charge of the entire journey and basically the Only guy above Captain Jakobs. He was the captain's supervisor. Yeah. See, upper merchant Pelsaert had done some good turns for the VOC during his career. He'd established the route for the Dutch indigo trade and he was a skilled diplomat who'd opened up a lot of profit lines in India. But in the time leading up to the launch of the Batavia, Pelsart was going through a rough patch professionally. His last diplomatic mission to India had been an utter failure. So he had convinced the VOC's big bosses, the Gentleman 17, to let him take $7.8 million in silver on the Batavia so he could transport it to India, where he would bribe a second Indian court to make up for his losses at the first. Got it?

[Ed Larson]

Yes.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yes.

[Ed Larson]

So legitimately, again, this whole trip for Pelsart is to get him back to zero. It's not even to get him like to make him money. This is just so that he can start showing his face around town again.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

And where was there silver on the other ships in the fleet or just the Batavia?

[Ed Larson]

So the way it seems is that the Batavia held all of the treasure. The reason why part of the safety. Safety measuring things that they did was by going in large groups, because what we said is it helps you immediately. You are not immediately alone in the water.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

You are surrounded by all these essentially messenger ships and various things that help the main boat do other things and certain other. Like, like you have the Pelsarts on the main ship, but there are captains on the other smaller ships.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

That all kind of run various aspects, but mostly secure the Batavia.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

So it's all there to keep the Portuguese away. Yes.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. But, yeah, partly. Yeah, the Portuguese, the Spanish, the English, and also to protect against mutinies and regular ass pirates.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, exactly, Regular pirates.

[Henry Zabrowski]

And then.

[Ed Larson]

And then when you arrive at the place, and then those people, let's say you are trying to bridge a new trading gap with the new crew. People, you don't know who they are either.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. Like when the Batavia left, like the Batavia was supposed to be in a fleet of 14 ships, but it had a lot of problems getting off, it left late. And so it was now at this point in the story, it's in a flotilla of seven ships. But the maiden voyage of the Batavia, that had to go well for upper merchant Pelsart if he was going to get taken seriously in the VOC ever again.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Did you know the flotilla is back at Taco Bell?

[Ed Larson]

Taco that also hydrates.

[Marcus Parks]

But unbeknownst to the gentleman 17. They had introduced an X factor into the Batavia's journey when they assigned Ariana Jacobs as the captain. See, just after upper merchant Pelsart had fucked up his last deal in India, he'd clashed badly with the captain of the boat. That had taken him home to the point where that captain and Pelsart had gotten into a physical altercation. The captain, the upper merchant Pelsart had fought with was none other than Ariana Jakobs, the very same man who was now in charge of the crew navigation on the Batavia.

[Ed Larson]

Hey, how you doing Pel Fart? Good to see ya. Remember the last time you up in.

[Henry Zabrowski]

India, you should really just treat me a little more respectfully.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, oh yeah, Pel Fart.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Okay, well the crew's watching.

[Ed Larson]

Because I'm a funny guy.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I can't argue there, Pel Fart.

[Ed Larson]

Dumb. We should kick your ass again and I'll do it.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I mean, I think I won the fight.

[Ed Larson]

I'm gonna beat the fucking shit out of you, buddy.

[Marcus Parks]

The captain Jakobs had nursed a grudge against upper merchant Pelsart after their tussle on the boat out of India. But while he had resolved to put that aside for Batavia's maiden voyage, the resentment was still bubbling under the surface. Just waiting for someone to come along and stir it up. Up.

[Ed Larson]

Because you got this guy. All Pelsard is, is a reminder that they really don't care if any of you die.

[Marcus Parks]

No, they don't want you to die, but they don't mind if you die.

[Ed Larson]

Care less. Pelsart's the only one that matters. And Pelsart doesn't even matter. He just needs to bring the stuff. As long as he has the stuff and he gets it safely and sells it, then he's fine. Or if he brings the money back safely, he's fine. But otherwise all Pelsart is a reminder of like, oh, I'm an expendable piece of and he has no skills and he depends on me. But he's my boss.

[Henry Zabrowski]

The ultimate company man.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. And as you may have already guessed, the man who was about to stir up Captain Jakob's resentment real fucking nicely was Euronymous Cornelis. Together, Jakobs and Cornelis would create the conditions that turned the madeum voyage of the Batavia into a blood soaked, murderous nightmare for almost all who survived the ship's eventual destruction. Now, as I said earlier, we're gonna back up the story a bit from where we left it last episode. Thank you, Edward. Thank you very much.

[Ed Larson]

Moan back.

[Marcus Parks]

So let's begin today's tale right before the crew put in at the Cape of Good Hope prior to the conversation that would lead Euronymous and Captain Jakobs into mutiny. Now, by April of 1628, the Batavia was still in a flotilla of six other VOC ships and had been at sea for six months. Months. In truth, things were going about average for a VOC ship of this size. Which is to say that it was a horror show by modern standards.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, it sucked on there, man. I even don't like boats now. Yeah, you know, cruise ships aren't really nice now except for you want gonna join. Oh yeah. Side stories on our true crime cruise. Which is true.

[Henry Zabrowski]

The crime wave, November 3rd to 7th.

[Ed Larson]

Yep. We are going to be hosting our own mutiny.

[Marcus Parks]

Yes.

[Henry Zabrowski]

We cannot wait to be there. Yeah. All yeah. Tickets next week.

[Ed Larson]

All right.

[Henry Zabrowski]

We're going to keep moving.

[Marcus Parks]

Well, by this point in the Batavia's journey, almost a dozen men had died from that most particular, horrific and stereotypical of all sea deaths, scurvy. Now, when a sailor has an extreme deficiency of vitamin C and scurvy sets in, a sailor's legs would swell and his breath would become rancid. Soon after, his gums would begin to bleed and his mouth would become so swollen and rotten with gangrene that his teeth would fall out one by one before he mercifully died.

[Ed Larson]

Thank you. Why? As soon as I see it, for some reason, maybe I'm just. I should have jerked off or something. The idea of like a sailor's legs and butt getting all swollen and big and then looking at him and the first thing you think of is like, he puts the curvy and scurvy.

[Marcus Parks]

I didn't say anything about his butt get getting big.

[Ed Larson]

I just assumed. Just imagining his butt slowly expanding and you're just looking at it and you know, all of a sudden his pockmarked, rotten face is slowly but surely turned into Alexandra Daddario. And you just don't know. You know, because you're out in the water in any port in a storm. That literally is the story of the first time a guy ever had sex with another guy's butt on a boat is where that term came from.

[Marcus Parks]

Which term?

[Ed Larson]

Any port in a storm because the guy's name was port.

[Henry Zabrowski]

So once the scurvy sets up.

[Marcus Parks]

Port Johnson.

[Henry Zabrowski]

What do we know about scurvy? Like, once it sets in, like, can you get better from it or you fudge like rabies?

[Marcus Parks]

You know, I'm not sure I think you can get better from scurvy. This I'M I'd imagine there's a point of no return, but I think you can. Yeah. If I remember from a medical drama that I watched where a homeless man showed up to the hospital with scurvy, I think they said he's got scurvy. Just give him some vitamin C and he'll be fine.

[Henry Zabrowski]

People still get scurvy?

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, yeah. It's actually a very bad problem with homeless people, man.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Gotta get the vitamin C pills for everybody.

[Ed Larson]

Honestly, this is why, I mean, a lot of people have really been angry with me, but a part of my big reach out that I've been doing in Los Angeles is just throwing oranges at them.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

And people get really upset with me and I'm like, I'm fighting scurvy.

[Marcus Parks]

But while nearly a dozen men dead of scurvy in six months sounds like things were going exceptionally badly, this actually put the Batavia ahead of the curb.

[Ed Larson]

That's pretty good. Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

That doesn't. Wow.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Needed some good news.

[Marcus Parks]

On an average eight month journey, the VOC expected to lose 30 men to scurvy. And in extreme cases, half the crew might die, resulting in triple digit body counts.

[Ed Larson]

Think about being one of the anonymous men on this boat who are all like, you know, I don't my name, I don't know my name. Me neither. I don't care. Neither do I. But these guys on this boat, they know that it's, it's packed to be on capacity for the planned murder, for their planned death. They know that this, this ship is overly filled because by the time we get to where we're supposed to be, it will be at just the right amount of people.

[Henry Zabrowski]

In like a weird way, like it's almost good if people die because then they don't have to pay them.

[Ed Larson]

I mean, yeah, buddy.

[Marcus Parks]

I think that might be a little bit of part of it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean that. But that's also, I think, what it is. I mean, it's kind of a checks and balances type thing. I mean, they're looking at the balance sheet where, you know, we're pay a lot of guys less than living wage. Yeah. So I think in the end it just kind of all balances out for them.

[Henry Zabrowski]

In the Brits, they would like bring citrus with them, but for some reason.

[Marcus Parks]

The Dutch didn't sometimes, like every once in a while they might have like lemons. Like they might be able to like squeeze a lemon or something like that. Like they didn't know that vitamin C was what, you know, cured it. They didn't know that fruit was what you kind of needed. What? You know, to get, like, a big, like, boost of it. Yeah. But they did kind of happen upon it by accident every once in a while. I'd be like, oh, yeah. I remember the last time I had scurvy, I squeezed a lemon in it and I drank some, you know, wine, and it was fine. Cool.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. You just got to. Hopefully you're on the right boat.

[Marcus Parks]

I mean, this is very much the era of trial and error. Oh, yes. Yeah. And not really all of humankind. Yeah. And not really knowing why things work. Just knowing that they work.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah. And like, the surgeons were, like, poor.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, the surgeons. No, a surgeon was like a tradesman. He's like a carpenter, you know, like.

[Henry Zabrowski]

So bizarre to me.

[Marcus Parks]

And they were, at this point, they were called barbers. You know, you can get your haircut, set a bone, pull out a couple of teeth, Good to go all the same guy.

[Ed Larson]

Good with scissors.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, very good with scissors.

[Ed Larson]

Just can't wait to go to my Amazon dentist surgeon gun store. It is going to be so much fun to have it all happen again, because that's what it's going to be.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. It is all one place, One stop shop.

[Ed Larson]

Yep.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Ris from your grave.

[Marcus Parks]

And so now we get to the point where the Batavia is six months into its journey and they're putting in at the Cape of Good Hope. But when I say that the Batavia put in at the Cape of Good Hope, I don't mean that they stopped off at a rough and tumble port town for two weeks of booze and women. Instead, VOC policy called for camping intense on the beach so the sick could be given a chance to recover, and so the upper merchant could trade with the local South African tribes to beef up their food supplies.

[Ed Larson]

You got to put it in the VOC's terminology, Marcus. It's like each one of our incredible intrepid members of our VOC family get to an experience. A luxurious beachside accommodation in the beautiful, beautiful sky size of Southern Africa.

[Marcus Parks]

South Africa. Southern Africa.

[Ed Larson]

The whole thing was to cut. It was cheap, right? Yeah. And they wanted to make sure that they didn't stop for long. Yeah. They had to go. And so everybody else had to stay on the boat. All the captains got to stay on the boat.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. And you also don't want to have to spend a lot of time gathering up all your guys from all the bars and taverns around the. Around the port town. Like you don't want to give them a whole lot to do.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. Because they disappear, I imagine.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah, it's wild, you know, just sitting in that beach, the whole thing. It's very dangerous. It's. In fact it's entire tense.

[Marcus Parks]

I give you that one. That was good. I really like that one. That I really enjoyed. Now, even though upper merchant Pelsart was talented with languages, he had a difficult time communicating with the local tribe when they put in at the Cape of Good Hope. And since it took him a while to negotiate, mischief began to brew back on the water. In the Batavia 7 ship flotilla. See Captain Jakobs and Euronimus Corelas had become friendly during their six months at sea. Sea. And while upper merchant Pelsart was on land bartering for sheep.

[Ed Larson]

I need two sheep. Look at my mouth. Fluffy white, white, white. You know what I'm saying?

[Marcus Parks]

That is actually how they ended up having to communicate with miming and yelling. Yeah, yeah. Well, Captain Jacobs and Euronymous had commandeered one of the Batavia's rowboats and they started hopping from ship to ship to enjoy the hospitality of every ship in the flotilla.

[Ed Larson]

He'll there. That one guy's got a feed that smells like oranges. Hey man, let's go check out the other boat. Duder. They got a thing called a tortilla chip.

[Marcus Parks]

But much like a man who hits half a dozen holiday parties in one night and goes hard at each and every one, Captain Jakob soon became drunk and belligerent, starting fights, talking shit and acting in a manner quote, most beastly, as upper merchant Pelsart put it in his journals.

[Ed Larson]

Well, and I. And I was joking about this with Marcus the. About how beastly do you have to be to be kicked out of a party on a boat that's tied up waiting to go to the Indies like. Like imagining how rough that party must already be. Because they all go into the wine stores because they bring wine and booze with them, so they allow them to have extra rations. Like during this time period, only the.

[Marcus Parks]

Upper class though the soldiers and the sailors get nothing.

[Ed Larson]

They get nothing. So like that party was crazy to begin with.

[Henry Zabrowski]

You know, it's that whole lesson where it's like never get too drunk at an open bar you're not paying for.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, that's actually a really good. That's a very good rule.

[Ed Larson]

Well, nothing will always remind me. Used to do that one show at a place called Sound Fix and they in the producers of that show thought it was such a good idea to have a 6 to 7pm open bar.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yes.

[Ed Larson]

Before the show. And it was impossible. Yes, it was Literally an impossible show to.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah, we were performers slash bouncers.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. Well, as such, by the time upper merchant Pelsart was back on the Batavia with supplies after securing a deal with the locals, the other six ships had already lodged several complaints about the behavior of Captain Jakobs and his little pleasure cruise. Now, the actions of Captain Jakobs were bad for upper merchant Pelsart on a couple of levels. Yes, having a drunken, violent captain in charge of the flagship was not a good look. But the more serious offense here was taking a boat without Pelsart's permission. Stealing the boat broke the chain of command set up by the voc. That ensured nothing happened on a ship without the say so of a representative. So Captain Jakobs had to be punished.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Borrowing the boat.

[Marcus Parks]

Borrowing, sure. But the more I get into this story, the more I'm realizing that Pelsart was kind of running the Batavia in a candy ass fashion by VOC standards.

[Ed Larson]

We talked a little about this, and I think it's because. Because he. Leadership revolves around social contracts that quickly dissolve when you move away from the center of powers that hold those like contracts in their hands. Right. So when you go out in the middle of the ocean, if you can't rule with an iron fist, you better be well liked. Right? And. But a lot of times you'll find that fear is a lot more effective of out on the open water, if.

[Henry Zabrowski]

You'Re too nice, people try and kill you.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, well, for the crime of stealing a boat and physically fighting crews on other ships, Jacobs got away with just getting chewed out thoroughly in upper merchant Pelsart's cabins, where Jacobs was basically told that he was getting too big for his britches.

[Ed Larson]

Do I have to make your bitch your britches bigger? Do I have to go and get bigger britches for you, sir?

[Marcus Parks]

All right.

[Ed Larson]

Because right now it seems that your belly button is extending past your britches so far that I'm to have to spank your belly.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Oh, you spank me, you big.

[Ed Larson]

I feel like I'm just using. I'm using metaphors and I shouldn't. You're in trouble is what I'm saying. Okay, just look. Listen to me.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Cartoon mouse stuck in a whiskey bottle.

[Ed Larson]

You. I need you to focus. Focus.

[Marcus Parks]

No, I mean, he basically gave him a. Listen here, mister. He just. Emmy chewed him out very thoroughly. But in these sorts of situations, a verbal reprimand was actually far less than what VOC policy called for, while swearing, blasphemy and drunkenness earned an employee a fine. Insubordination, violent threats, or violent acts were met with more violence or on ship imprisonment for a simple fight. A sailor on a VOC ship could be shackled by the hands and feet, then thrown into a cell too small to stand or lie down. Down. This cell was on the bow of the gun deck. And the constant sound of the wind whistling through the cell slats for weeks on in was known to drive men to the brink of insanity.

[Ed Larson]

Meanwhile, during the Santa Ana winds. I'm sleeping like a babe. Yeah, the winds, like, knock me out. I don't know what happened. I was just. I was so relaxed.

[Marcus Parks]

But if a sailor took his fight to the next level and pulled out a knife, the VOC policy escalated as well. Well, their written guidelines said that a knife happy sailor should be nailed to the mast with his knife stabbed through his hand. And the sailor could only leave once he pulled his own hand off without removing the knife first.

[Ed Larson]

See, it's stern but fair.

[Henry Zabrowski]

So he can't, like, wiggle the knife off.

[Marcus Parks]

Well, yeah, that's actually what he's expected to do.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, you have to go. Yeah, it hurts.

[Marcus Parks]

With his other hand tied behind his back. Back. The sailor had the choice to either wiggle the knife. I mean, that's the thing you. The knife is in so deep that you can't wiggle the knife off. You have to wiggle your hand to make the wound bigger so you can fit the knife through the wound handle and all. Handle and all.

[Henry Zabrowski]

That's big hole.

[Marcus Parks]

It's a very, very large hole also. Or you could also just rip your hand down in one swift motion and basically cut it in half.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Oh, I see.

[Marcus Parks]

Either way, you're never working as a sailor ever again.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, it seems. Seems like counterintuitive.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah, but he could be a pirate.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, I mean, he could be a pirate. But that's the thing. To be a pirate, you still got to be a pretty good semen.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah, but they're missing limbs.

[Ed Larson]

But that's actually more in pop culture representation.

[Marcus Parks]

Oh, really?

[Henry Zabrowski]

That wasn't reality.

[Ed Larson]

A lot of them were pretty like. Well, it was a career. Like, it's funny, like, you think about it in terms we always think about it kind of Pirates of the Caribbean style. But it was also, like, weirdly, like a job too.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I watched Pirates of the Caribbean, Dead Man's Chest, to like, get ready for this episode. Now. It had nothing to do with it. No, it was across the other side of the world.

[Marcus Parks]

It's kind of. It's kind of in the name. Pirates of the.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I. I know, but I Googled what movies have the Dutch West Indies company in it? They're like Pirates of the Caribbean, Dead Man's Chest. I was like, all right, I'll watch that. That seems like fun. I like Johnny Depp. And then I put it on. It's British.

[Ed Larson]

It's pretty bad. The British.

[Henry Zabrowski]

It's a bad movie.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. Google's broken.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah. But the Kraken. Rock and roll.

[Marcus Parks]

It's very cool.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah. I love the crack. We should do an episode on the crack. And should we stop?

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

How dare you.

[Marcus Parks]

But that's all to say that when you consider what Pelsart was given permission to do, Captain Jakobs should have been thankful for getting off with just a verbal warning, because from what it seems like to me, Pelsart probably didn't want to deal with the logistical pain in the ass of punishing the captain because punishing him would naturally slow down the journey. And Pelsart's trying to get his nut in. He's trying to make it this to get done.

[Ed Larson]

And it needs to be done efficiently and quickly. Yes. And it needs to be goodbye the book. He is like, he is under a lot of pressure. They're going to put him in a horrible place if he doesn't get this right. So I feel like it's also. You're in the middle of the ocean. You just got fought. You just fought with this guy the last time. Like, at this point, you're like, I just don't want to. I don't want to fight with you, bro. I just need to get your together so we could get this done with.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Also, this might be a stupid question, but who takes over if he has to kill the cop? Captain?

[Marcus Parks]

Probably the boat Swain.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Okay. Yes.

[Marcus Parks]

We'll get to him in a bit.

[Henry Zabrowski]

All right, great.

[Marcus Parks]

But word soon spread amongst the crew that upper merchant Pelsart had ripped Captain Jakobs a new in the upper merchant's quarters, which may have been more humiliating for Captain Jakobs than if he just taken his lumps physically.

[Ed Larson]

I had bent in front of him and I told him, you be a man and you spank the hell out of me. Right? Take me. You take me. You. You master me. Me. All right. I say in there, you treat me like a dog. I'll be. Be my father. And he didn't have the guts.

[Marcus Parks]

Do that usually happen on ships you've been on?

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. Treated like a little boy.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

Being trained to be a man way.

[Henry Zabrowski]

You never been canoed on a canoe.

[Ed Larson]

You ever been pegged by a peg leg?

[Marcus Parks]

Well, Because Jakobs was humiliated, he naturally started talking about his supervisor and who else would be there with sympathetic ear but the captain's new buddy under merchant Euronymous Cornelis.

[Ed Larson]

He's the mer thing. They know everything. Well, we used to fight boats ourselves. Just hit a boat with my hands if I wanted to.

[Marcus Parks]

Now, without the influence of Euronymous, Captain Jakobs would have probably just grumbled a bit before putting on his big boy pants to finish out his last voyage at sea.

[Ed Larson]

God damn it. All right, this boat ain't going to sail itself. Let's go, boys. And somebody else just ran me.

[Marcus Parks]

But when Jakobs told Euronymous during a conversation on the upper deck that he had half a mind to kill upper merchant Pelsart and make himself master of Batavia, Euronymous paused for a long while, then asked how one would go about doing such a thing.

[Ed Larson]

It's such a cinematic moment in history because it's real. It's right. This is lifted right from the witness recollect. It's great.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. And so Geronimus and Captain Jakobs began selling each other a fantasy where they would take the Batavia and its riches for themselves.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, I'll get. I'm gonna be doing the spanking. I'm gonna be doing the bridge. Building bridge. Buying people how big they should be and how big the bridges are and how they fit and what legs they go in first. Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

The plan is just to get bridges that are a lot larger so then you can grow into them.

[Ed Larson]

The idea is to create room for growth. Lebenstra in the British.

[Marcus Parks]

Well, before long, Euronimus and Captain Jakobs had sketched out a plan where they'd use the might and riches of the Batavia to become pirates operating out of Madagascar.

[Ed Larson]

This is like two guys on coke talking about opening a restaurant. Yeah. This whole thing is like. Cuz it's such a far flung. It's just like I have an idea. We'll take all the money and then we. We're pirates.

[Marcus Parks]

Like a couple of kids, you know, Know. But the plan was about. After a year or two of plundering and such, they along with their mutinous crew would all retire as wealthy men somewhere out of the VOC's reach.

[Ed Larson]

You heard every single. You remember when you used to deal weed? You heard all those guys fantasies. But they're going to get out and they're going to go and they're going to turn into a DJ or going to turn into a mandala designer.

[Henry Zabrowski]

They were all DJs.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

They're going to Take that weed money and they're going to flip it to a sword store, you know, as far.

[Marcus Parks]

As everyone else on the ship went, Euronymous and Captain Jakobs figured, em, we'll figure it out. Now it's hard to tell if Euronymous was plotting a mutiny all along or if it was an idle thought that was given opportunity. But it's clear that once a mutiny became a real possibility, Euronymous was going to do everything in his power to stoke the fires of Jakob's resentment.

[Ed Larson]

There's a little part of me that man wonders if in the back of his head, head that he remembered where he came from in a way. And he's like, Euronimous? Yes. Like my people. The legacy of my people and my religion.

[Marcus Parks]

The Anabaptist.

[Ed Larson]

Yes. Is to go and to form our own home. Make Zion where we stand. Right. Like bring people to us, Create a home for Anabaptist. I think he's got a little Elron, maybe he's a little LRH in his head of like, oh, you just say.

[Marcus Parks]

That because he likes boats.

[Ed Larson]

But he didn't like boats. L doesn't like boats that much. He was forced to live on a boat. He chose the boat lifestyle. The lifestyle. The boat lifestyle chose Euronimus, where it's like, I think that this guy, like, there's a little part of me that wonders. He's like, out here I can be the Pope.

[Marcus Parks]

Sure.

[Henry Zabrowski]

And Euronymous is just to remind me, is a merchant, right?

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, he's an under merchant.

[Ed Larson]

Under merchant on the boat, but in real life he was a pharmacist, but bad one.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, Drug dealer. Yeah, yeah. So, yeah, basically he's going to the Indies so he can make some deals with somebody to, you know, get put, set up some trade to, you know, bring money back to, like bring it, set up like profit lines for the voc. But as far as his mutiny went, getting a high ranking sailor on your side was the hard part. The lower ranking sailors and the soldiers on a VOC ship, they were always prime for mutual mutiny, especially near the end of the journey, because as bad as conditions were at the outset, they only got worse the longer the ship was at sea. See, even though the Batavia was one of the largest and most advanced ships of its age, it still only had four latrines for its 341 passengers and crew. But as it usually goes, two of those latrines were reserved for the relatively small number of upper class passengers and higher ranking officials, maybe a few dozen people. The rest of the ship numbering in the hundreds, had to share the other two latrines, which latrines in this case were pretty much holes in the deck that had to be used in full view of everyone.

[Ed Larson]

Hey. Hey. Sometimes we close our eyes because when it's a big fat guy, sometimes I close my eyes and I imagine me father. But sometimes when it's a skinny lady, sometimes I close my eyes and I.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Think of my mother, whose name was also Latrine.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, used to be out. Good change. Good change.

[Ed Larson]

Now they.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Also, the thing about the latrines were they couldn't use them whenever they wanted.

[Marcus Parks]

No.

[Henry Zabrowski]

So they only had like. Like a half hour a day to go and piss the soldiers.

[Marcus Parks]

At least. Yeah. Cuz. Yeah. They were kept underneath in the orlop until they were brought up twice a day for, you know, a long line of men shitting and pissing in same hole.

[Ed Larson]

Speaking of that, you got to go to the bathroom.

[Marcus Parks]

I have to go to the bathroom.

[Ed Larson]

Use your hole and just. We'll be back after word from our sponsors.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Fly from your grave. Can I go on the ship, Marcus?

[Marcus Parks]

No.

[Ed Larson]

Get out of here.

[Marcus Parks]

No.

[Ed Larson]

Get out of here, little.

[Marcus Parks]

We're gonna get to the rats on the ship.

[Ed Larson]

No, little mouse, no. Stay home. Get a cookie.

[Marcus Parks]

Okay, so now that you shit, let's get back to the shits.

[Ed Larson]

Thank you.

[Marcus Parks]

Each latrine had one long rope, supposedly sanitized by the ocean, dangling from the hole.

[Ed Larson]

That's what we do.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, yeah.

[Ed Larson]

Ocean rope. Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

Here at lpn. Yeah, the salt rope.

[Ed Larson]

I just. We just have one wet rope I run between our cheeks and then we all check each other. You guys do that with. With.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

I talk. I check gurney Ed checks Rob to make sure we're clean.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And Rob is spotless.

[Ed Larson]

And that's why he's our producer.

[Marcus Parks]

Well, hundreds of people would use. Use this salt rope to floss their butts before handing it to the next guy.

[Ed Larson]

Oh, thanks.

[Marcus Parks]

Well, you can. Well, I guess you dip it down into like. Like kind of swish it a little bit.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

Hey, I washed it for you. So things got a little messy. Who didn't wash the rope? Wash the rope. I'm just gonna say I might have had a legume too many last night. Anyways, better go deal with. With the sails. I hate that guy. I hate loose stool. Tim.

[Marcus Parks]

But when it was too dangerous to use the latrines during bad weather, the soldiers and seamen relieved themselves in corners, or even worse, crouched over ladders that led down to the holds where they Lived that I didn't get. I read it. I read that passage over and over again in Batavia's graveyard. Trying to figure out like what the function of perching on a ladder so the duke could splat down harder. What the logic was in that.

[Ed Larson]

There's a little thing about being human.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. And just like taking the. Taking the little pleasures where you can get them.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. You gotta see a plop.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Also, if you're a sailor, I imagine you're on the soldiers.

[Marcus Parks]

No, the soldiers are in their own hold. Yeah. The. The soldiers are down in the orlop. The sailors are up in the gun deck.

[Henry Zabrowski]

That's what I'm saying. They probably made a hole from the gun deck to the orlon.

[Ed Larson]

I wouldn't be on the guys with the guns.

[Marcus Parks]

Well, this was particularly a problem. You know, off of the ladders and going in corners. There was. This became a big problem when the Batavia's pumps got going during the same bad weather. The pumps would bring all the urine, liquid shits and rainwater that had leaked down into the bilges. But instead of pushing all that directly out to sea, the men who designed the Batavia had the disgusting mixture slosh through the sailors sleeping quarters first until it found an open port or sloop. Sluice. Now, I could only.

[Ed Larson]

Sluice.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

The term sluice.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Almost every word in this episode, including Euronymous, is hard to deal with.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. Now I can only imagine what sort of horrible shits these sailors and soldiers were taking.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

Because their diet was not what you'd call balance.

[Ed Larson]

Tell me, do you guys have acai? Anybody? Where's the. Supposed to get a poke bowl?

[Marcus Parks]

You know, while the highest rank ate only the best food, sailors and soldiers ate cask meat, legumes and hardtack.

[Ed Larson]

But I do feel like even the good food that the guys, the officers got to eat couldn't have been that good by the end. It's like. But they had to bring them like these to bake them turkeys do all this, like big extravagant meals.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah. For the first week.

[Ed Larson]

Yes.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. And then it's just whatever fish you can catch. Yeah. But the fish never made it to the men. You know, the. The fish never made it to like the men down at the bottom. The fish were all reserved for the people up top.

[Henry Zabrowski]

The used fish.

[Ed Larson]

That's what I call my. As well used fish.

[Marcus Parks]

Well, as far as what the sailors and soldiers ate, cask meat was heavily cured and dried meat pickled by boiling it in brine or vinegar. While hardtack a cracker. Like food used by armies and sailors throughout history that had to be soaked in seawater before eating. Otherwise it could crack a sailor's already fragile teeth.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Wouldn't that just make them crazy?

[Marcus Parks]

Crazy what?

[Henry Zabrowski]

Having all that seawater.

[Marcus Parks]

It wasn't good for him.

[Ed Larson]

No, it's not good for you and it kills you. Yeah, it's very bad for you.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. Well, the hardtack on the Batavia was also teeming with insects. And while some sailors would tap the rations on the side of the ship to dislodge bugs before eating, some came to like the added ingredient and could even tell which bug was which by taste and texture.

[Ed Larson]

Hey, man, you got to do something on that boat.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah, yeah. And the scurvy made him blind.

[Ed Larson]

So only way they couldn't tell the.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Difference between the bugs.

[Ed Larson]

All right, I think I got a good one. It's a ladybug taste. Bad ladybug.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Oh, I got. Hold on.

[Marcus Parks]

Don't.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Don't clean that.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. Here, take my. Take my bottle. Ah, yes, it's good. It's my used ladybug. Yes.

[Marcus Parks]

Oh, yes.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Whatever we don't eat, we'll use this lube.

[Marcus Parks]

Yes.

[Ed Larson]

For the. That's what he mean for when we're heaven sex.

[Marcus Parks]

Didn't realize that lube is such a pirate word.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

L Y make sure before we set out.

[Ed Larson]

Fill up the lube task. We've got to keep it a full, very brim. 15 barrels of lube on this ship. My favorite flavor, strawberry kiwi.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Really helps me take the orb.

[Marcus Parks]

Well, concerning the tastes and textures of bugs, Weevils were bitter, while maggots were spongy and cold. But big juicy cockroaches were considered considered a treat because they were described as vaguely resembling sausage.

[Ed Larson]

You know, vaguely word. Vaguely. It's doing a lot of work in that. Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Because you're just crazy and you haven't seen a sausage for months.

[Ed Larson]

It's kind of dark and it's full of juice.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah, yeah.

[Ed Larson]

Little poppers. Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

But while this sounds awful, the Batavia was actually considered pretty high class by 17th century standards. But only because the crew always ate something three times times a day. Now, besides meals at 8, noon and 6, the only thing that broke up the mind numbing boredom for the sailors on board was the entertainment they created themselves. While they did engage in stereotypically manly pursuits like fist fights for sport, they were also vicious gossips and even put on theatrical performances if they were so inclined.

[Ed Larson]

That's the only thing I like about Lou Stool, Tim. He Knows a lot of songs that make me cry, angry, being sad. Then I get be thinking I had the ability to be angry in the first place. And that means I'm alive. Thank you, Luke Stool. Tim. Oh, he's dead.

[Henry Zabrowski]

It was a lot of fun, but the late show guests just kept repeating.

[Ed Larson]

Oh yes, very. Oh God. You think Joe Rogan has the same four guys?

[Marcus Parks]

The sailors also played games, the most interesting of which being the execution game. Now from what we can tell, this was a sailored up version of an innocent 17th century parlor game called Fortune in forfeits. All participants began the game by putting a personal object in a box. And once the objects are collected, one person is selected as a judge. Once the judge sits down, an object is taken out of the box and held above the judge's head so the judge can't see what it is. The person who owns the object is then told to come forward where they would basically be engaged in a game of truth or dare with the judge so they could get their object back. Like the judge would say, like yeah, if you want your thing back, you're going to need to do Dance me a jig. Come on Lou Stor Tim, dance the jig.

[Henry Zabrowski]

This is our new twitch show.

[Marcus Parks]

For.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, cuz you could see Lou Stim being like, finally. I knew I'd be able to perform on this boat. He's having too much fun. Let's run him through.

[Marcus Parks]

And so after the player has done or not done what the judge has asked, the judge decides whether the person deserves to obtain what they'd put in the box in the first place. But to make it more interesting, sailors gave the judge the option to also tar the player if he wasn't satisfied. Well, as such, forfeits became so dangerous in the hands of sailors that it could only be played with the express permission of the captain. I suppose if the voyage was going so well that he felt the men all deserved a little treat.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, I guess you guys can all beat the out of each other. I know you like it. I love to see it. Oh good quail. Oh, I'm so glad I get to eat this six month old quail.

[Marcus Parks]

Truth or dare? On a fucking on a. Between sailors on this horrible ship.

[Henry Zabrowski]

What secrets could they possibly have?

[Ed Larson]

Okay.

[Henry Zabrowski]

They're all like raping each other in.

[Ed Larson]

Front of each other. ARR. Truth or dare, Triff. Okay. Do you have a crush on Steven?

[Henry Zabrowski]

No.

[Ed Larson]

In the past. Cut off his butt, he's forfeited. No, I don't. No Steven.

[Marcus Parks]

It's true. Now Obviously, the sailors on the Batavia played fast and loose with their own lives, but that was partly because they all knew they could die any day in dozens of equally horrible ways. Most, however, died by disease brought on board by rats and insects. Author Mike Dash described the hold of the Batavia as an empire of rats, hundreds, if not thousands of them that only multiplied as the voyage went on. Knowing that food could sometimes be found on the other side of the wall, rats would chew through the hole, not knowing there was only water waiting. And the leaks the rats caused had to constantly be filled by the ship's caulkers.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Dude, rats can chew through anything.

[Marcus Parks]

Anything.

[Henry Zabrowski]

When I was working at the poor house in a restaurant in New York City, they would literally chew through the brick walls. Walls, and through, like, you know, like, kitchens are lined with metal.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

You know, they would chew through that and then we would have to, like, fill it with, like, those, like, metal, like, scratch, like scrubbies.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

We used to call them space because you open them up and it's like a metal little vagina.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, that's real fun.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah, we'd stick those in the wall and then we'd caulk that up and then eat through that.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, dude.

[Marcus Parks]

Now, rats are incredible because it's just like if one rat breaks all his teeth, the next rat comes up and takes the job.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yes. I love to eat your teeth, you so much.

[Ed Larson]

Meanwhile, like, I was just thinking in ship cockers, you know, just thinking about a guy, a bunch of guys on a boat, callers.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I fill the hole with me.

[Ed Larson]

It's not helping. You're just old dav. Done. I can't do it while you talk.

[Marcus Parks]

But with rats come lice, and with. With lice, especially in the 17th century, one had to contend with the black plague, which could kill dozens on one of these ships, if not hundreds. To make matters just that much worse, the sleeping quarters were also infested with bedbugs. And that was just the vermin that the Batavia had left the Netherlands with. That was baseline.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

Ships could also pick up native insects anytime they stopped in a port, within days, those insects would rapidly multiply and spread typhus. Sometimes captains would offer brandy as a reward to the best bug killers. So an endless army of several tens of thousands of insects would be crushed every few days.

[Ed Larson]

Oh, that's nice. That works.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah. No, someone's gotta do it.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. But that's all to say that this was the life a sailor or soldier had to look forward to for less than a living wage. So the men of the Batavia had little to lose by participating in a mutiny. All they needed was someone to give them permission.

[Ed Larson]

Because it's important to remember that there's more of you than them. You. You can win.

[Marcus Parks]

The biggest moral quandary of a mutiny, however, was presented by the other people on board the ship. The passengers. The Batavia had plenty of civilians aboard who were just trying to make their way to the Indies, including numerous children and 22 women. These women and children were either the families of men aboard or they were traveling to meet their husbands in the Indies. Now, for a while, wife delivery was a pretty good side business for the VOC, who usually capped the number of women at 20 because they only sprung for one single company chaperone per ship took look after them.

[Henry Zabrowski]

It's bad luck to have ladies on a boat. Well, it's not really bad luck as much as you can't trust the men.

[Ed Larson]

Is it because of menstrations?

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah, no, because the men.

[Marcus Parks]

Because that's. That's what happened. But after the repeated rape of many women by hundreds of sailors during these types of voyages, the company ended the service. With few exceptions like the Batavia.

[Ed Larson]

Can't they just put them on? They should put a little penis locks on them. Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

You know, or get an old lady. An all lady fleet. That wouldn't happen.

[Ed Larson]

Honestly. Sisters are selling it for them. I can see that. Okay, VOC trap. All right. I smell Kristen Wiig vehicle.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, you laughing. Until next year you're going to see lady pirates on hbo.

[Ed Larson]

Max, I'm fine with it. At least it's not ip.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

We're going to make the Batavia.

[Marcus Parks]

The labias now prevent rape on the Batavia. The women were kept segregated. I don't know. There's no way to come out of that. There's no way to come back into that. I know it's really hard. Like, it's like joking, joking, joking. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like there's just no way. That's why I put it in the middle of a paragraph instead of in the beginning.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Now you got to start over with it. Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

No, no. Well, to prevent.

[Ed Larson]

Do you want me to say it?

[Marcus Parks]

Well, the women were kept segreg for the majority of the sailors and soldiers. But that segregation did not extend to VOC officers as such. One woman in particular on this voyage, a woman who would play an involuntary role in the mutiny to come. She caught the eye of the famously horny upper merchant Francisco Pelsart.

[Ed Larson]

Cuz you remember his Achilles heel was in his balls.

[Marcus Parks]

Yes. That woman was the unusually Beautiful Cria Yan's doctor. 27 years old when the Batavia set sailor.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, I know I shouldn't. I am too pretty to be on this boat.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Honestly, it is like the worst place to be hot.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

Honestly, I blame myself for just being here. I should not be here. I am too hot now.

[Marcus Parks]

It's thought that Crazy had stayed behind in the Netherlands to raise her three children when her husband joined the voc. But after all her kids died before the age of six, she decided to roll the dice and join her husband in the Indies.

[Ed Larson]

It sort like. It kind of like the angel of death gave me my groove back. Allow me to go live my best life in the Indies.

[Henry Zabrowski]

She's too hot to be a mom.

[Ed Larson]

I just. Yeah, that's what he was saying.

[Marcus Parks]

My heart has killed all of my kids. Oh my God.

[Ed Larson]

Oh, God. He was just telling me, you're ruining your body with all of this. So I'm just gonna go out there and I guess get railed in Indies now.

[Marcus Parks]

Captain Jakobs had repeatedly tried to seduce Krasia even though he was a married man.

[Ed Larson]

You're prettier than the last whore I had sex with. I. I'm sorry. I'm just angry. I'm. I'm an awful man. I'm a bad. I'm bad at this.

[Henry Zabrowski]

He would have been great. The guy. The coach from major league.

[Marcus Parks]

Or even better than Nick. No.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

But when CIA rebuffed Captain Jakob's advances, the captain turned his attentions to Crus Servant. As it turned out, the servant was fully game to be the captain's onship girlfriend. And in private, they gossiped about how much they both hated the highborn Cria Yan's doctor. And it got even worse after Cria started gravitating towards upper merchant Francisco Pelsart.

[Ed Larson]

Oh, yeah, dude. Because, well, she also definitely needed protection because something was going on. Like when she started watching her nursemaid fallen like.

[Marcus Parks]

So I guess it wasn't a nurse mate, because he didn't have any kids.

[Ed Larson]

It's whatever she was. She was a servant. Yeah, they called her the Nurse. That was like one of those Shakespearean titles that they have or whatever. But there's just something to. Like there's Boatmans.

[Marcus Parks]

Sure.

[Ed Larson]

Boatmans has happened. Yeah. Sea Wife. Yeah, people have Sea Wife's. But the thing about this one is that it kind of gets out of control and say he. For some reason, this lady, she was doing something.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Something.

[Marcus Parks]

Well, they said she was unusually beautiful for the time.

[Ed Larson]

Whoa. No, I'm talking about the nurse.

[Marcus Parks]

Oh, the servant. See, let's not get the names mixed.

[Ed Larson]

Sorry. The servant, she essentially. You remember I said during the Fred and Rosemary west series that sometimes you're only as hot as what you're willing to do? That's this lady. This lady knows. Oh, I've got. If I want to get a special cut, I've got to goggle the balls, you know, like, this is a lady doing it. A special.

[Marcus Parks]

Now, the relationship between the servant and Captain Jakobs only fueled the fires when it came to the captain getting more comfortable with the idea of a mutiny. But if he and Euonymus were to fail, the punishments were the most severe the VOC had to offer. See, despite the VOC's harsh treatment of their employees, full mutinies were incredibly rare in company history. Between 1602 and 1628, there had been just six serious mutinies, none of which were successful. Usually, general unrest amongst the crew resulted in small protests met with brief compromise. But once the VOC regained control, they would execute the leaders or punish them in a variety of increasingly brutal ways that would discourage further complaint.

[Ed Larson]

They really tried to stop any thought.

[Marcus Parks]

Of mutinies or any thought of organization in any way whatsoever. Like, if anyone. If they started complaining and they started getting together, it's like, you know, like unions weren't even. Were hundreds of years away. Yeah, but this is like the beginning of that and also a time when, you know, the companies, these corporations, like, when you tried to organize, you'd be murdered.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah, I mean, they just straight up killing people and stabbing their hands to the mass. Like, what could the torture for this be that everyone's scared of it?

[Marcus Parks]

Aha. The most common punishment for a mutineer was 200 lashes, punctuated by splashes of seawater that would both disinfect the wound and burn like hell. For many sailors, having their backs turned into a bleeding gummy mush was eventually fatal. The VOC wanted to get more dramatic, though. Mutineers, while still at sea were sometimes dropped from the. The yard arm, which is the crossbar on the mast that holds up the ship's sails. After lead weights were tied to the mutineer's feet, he was taken up the yard arm, where his arms would be tied with the rope, and the other end of the rope would be tied to the post. He would then be dropped 40ft, and when the rope reached its end, the weights would dislocate the mutineer's shoulders and usually break his arms and wrists in the process.

[Ed Larson]

Bit of a crick in the Back like it could see it feeling really good for half a second maybe. Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

But then you just become useless. Why not kill him?

[Marcus Parks]

Well, because you want to see. You want to show everyone else what sort of horrible death you're gonna die. Yeah. If you do this. And that's the thing. It's like it. It or not even what sort of horrible death, because that guy would be left there to scream and scream and scream for a very long time. Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

Yep.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. But that's what it was really about. Showing everyone else. Making an example of you.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Man, I bet. Like an afterwards, like, you know, some guy screaming for days, I imagine they just beat the shit out of him at some point. They probably.

[Marcus Parks]

They probably just do the whole thing where they, you know, they, you know, put the hand over the mouth, you know, they pinch the nose and just slowly suffocate them to death.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. Kill them in the night.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. But being thrown off the yard arm was not the worst punishment. Above them all was keel hauling.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, keel hauling.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. My favorite, which, not surprisingly, was a Dutch invention. When a man was keel hauled, his arms were first tied together above his head and his legs were bound. One end of a very long rope was passed under the keel while the other end of the rope was tied to the mutineer's arms. The mutineer was then tossed overboard, and by using the rope tied to his arms, he was pulled from one side of the ship to the other over and over again as the ship continued its forward momentum.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Now, under the boat.

[Marcus Parks]

Under the boat. Boat, yes. Now, in theory, keel hauling was supposed to just be a terrifying and deeply unpleasant experience, because at this point in history, only one man in seven on a VOC ship actually knew how to swim. Think about that for a second. You're on the. All these sailors, one in seven knows how to swim. Six out of seven of them have. If they fall in the water, they're dead.

[Ed Larson]

It's because waters work. I know when I'm not working, I'm walking.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

And if I'm not rolling up the waves, I'm sitting. I hate the water. It's my enemy. But it's also my love. But I am afraid of it. But it's also giving me everything I've ever got.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I'm too poor to learn how to swim.

[Marcus Parks]

But in practice, once the mutineer was dragged from side to side underneath the ship, he would either be cut to pieces by barnacles on the ship's hull, or his head would actually fall off after being smashed into the side of the ship over and over again.

[Ed Larson]

Know they're like, now, I hope you have learned your lesson. Oh, no.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Oh.

[Ed Larson]

Is his head supposed to collapse? Can we get some sort of inflatable. Is that inflatable to fix this man's head? Because we take off 45 minutes from now.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Also, like, barnacle are crazy sharp.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I remember one time, like, I saw a guy, like, fall off, like. Like a. A pier type of thing, and we. Everyone was out there fishing, and. And then when he tried to get back on his. Scraped his hand on barnacle and it sliced it. You could see the bone, and it was wild.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, man. No, the. It'll kill you.

[Ed Larson]

Oh, yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

Now, the VOC didn't necessarily want their employees dead, so to prevent death by keel hauling, VOC ships were equipped with special leather harnesses, actual company torture devices that were designed to keep the mutineer alive for three full rounds of keel hauling before the punishment was deemed complete.

[Ed Larson]

Now, this time, don't die.

[Marcus Parks]

Yes.

[Ed Larson]

All right.

[Henry Zabrowski]

All right. Here's your leather strap, and don't forget to snorkel.

[Marcus Parks]

Okay, Bye.

[Ed Larson]

And remember, this is unpleasant, but we don't want it to be entirely. So. All right. So enjoy.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, they actually, they would do that. They'd give him a little sponge that he could bite down on for the pain.

[Ed Larson]

It should help you. Okay. Now just remember, this hurts us more than it hurts you. Kill Holly, please.

[Marcus Parks]

Now, these punishments would have been well known to Captain Jacobs and the entire crew. So Jakobs and Euronymous had to be very careful about who they brought in to this plot. But one by one, they began collecting all the right men to pull it off. And their plan was put into motion the moment they set sail for the final leg of their journey to the Indies. Now, before they did anything, they first had to separate the Batavia from the rest of the VOC flotilla, because if shit went down on the Batavia, the other six ships would quickly come to its aid. So as soon as the Batavia left the Cape of Good Hope in Africa, Captain Jakobs very simply allowed the ship to drift away from the rest of the convoy. Now, nobody really paid any attention to this because ships got separated all the time due to differences in quality and sailing speed. So once the Batavia was out of the rest of the fleet's range, Euonymus and Captain Jakobs began gathering men for the mutiny to come. So at this point, the Batavia has started with 14 ships. Like, it's third it. It and 13 others. Then it gets taken down to the Batavia and six other Ships. And now after leaving the Cape of Good Hope, the Batavia is all alone.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah. And the Batavia, it's easy for it to become alone because it's fast as hell, right?

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, yeah.

[Ed Larson]

And it's just. And what they say is because it's so common for them to drift in and out like for a while, they probably don't even think about it.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. Well, amongst the first mutineers recruited was the ship's boat Swain, who was in charge of the ship's sails, rigging and anchors. The boat Swain was more or less the second highest ranking sailor on the ship, a master Mr. Seaman who'd worked his way from the bottom and had in the progress become one of the toughest customers on board. In his normal day to day, the boatswain would lash at his men with a tarred rope called a starter. So the men were conditioned to follow his orders. Once the boatswain was recruited, Euronymous now had the two most senior seamen on the Batavia on his side. And the numbers grew exponentially from there. But while the boatswain and the captain were good at recruiting the sailors, Euronymous was able to expand their numbers to include the other class glasses on the ship. Most important, however, were the soldiers, easily the most dangerous men aboard the ship.

[Ed Larson]

I say, when I was listening to the Dan Carlin hardcore history episode about the monster revolution, there was some thing that he said that I thought was fascinating, that this is kind of how it works where you got to remember before mass information things and people getting new ideas was so like, it was kind of, it was amazing new things thing at the time for an idea to spread virally. Right. Because of the printing press, all this stuff coming out, they could spread ideas. So the way like Dan Carlin puts it is that you can watch by sermon, by sermon how Anabaptism got spread by like two people at a time. So Euronymous is using the same exact ability, slowly but surely using preaching at people one at a time to slowly like. And so he'll be talking to six people, one of them will get it.

[Marcus Parks]

No, he's not talking to six people at a time at all. No, they're keeping, they're to going by one by one. There's no talking about in public at all.

[Ed Larson]

Not the mutiny aspect, the ideas aspect. Then you see who's who picks up on the there's no such thing as sin. Yeah, there's no such thing as that. He starts saying these things, seeing who says like, yeah, I'm with you. Yeah, yeah, and then it's next level, it's cult leadership.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah, it's months that they really get to like, dissect each other's side psyche.

[Marcus Parks]

Yes. But starting with a couple of easily influenced cadets, Euronymous worked his way to the corporal who was in charge of disciplining the soldiers. A man who played much the same role as the boatswain. Later, Euronymous would be called a seducer of men who used his uncanny powers of persuasion to draw men to his cause. And indeed, his silver tongue would eventually convince the men of the Batavia to commit all manner of. Of evil. Now, once the recruitment reached the soldiers, the mutineers had a team of somewhere between eight and 18 men on their side. We're not really sure exactly how many people were on board with this, but, you know, that's the estimate.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Honestly, I'm surprised we know what we know.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, it's because of how much witness testimony came from the survivors and Pelsart's journal.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, but that's the thing. Eight to 18, that was more than enough to put them in a position where they could overthrow upper merchant Pelsart.

[Ed Larson]

Once and for all, because they just needed choke pool.

[Marcus Parks]

But unexpectedly, upper merchant Pelsart got seriously ill, quite possibly from malaria contracted in Africa.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Was it bitch disease?

[Ed Larson]

Yes.

[Marcus Parks]

Yes.

[Ed Larson]

Unfortunately, yes. With the recent rollbacks in our health departments, bitch disease is on the rise. There's really not much. We have to fight it.

[Marcus Parks]

And because he was so sick, he was confined to his bunk for weeks on end. Captain Jakobs was therefore put in total control control of the ship. But instead of taking advantage immediately, he wasted the opportunity on piddling things. Like when he proudly announced to everyone that he had officially taken Chrysia's servant as his girlfriend.

[Ed Larson]

He's my girlfriend. We are going steady. I am in way like with her. I sent her a note saying would she go steady with me? And she checked. Yes.

[Henry Zabrowski]

And if I find one herpe that.

[Ed Larson]

Did not come from me, oh my. Because they all got names. Here's herp1, herp2, herpy3. Here's Ted.

[Marcus Parks]

Now, the plan, for some reason was to wait until upper merchant Pelsart died before taking over the ship.

[Ed Larson]

Sure.

[Marcus Parks]

And Euronymous was so confident in Pelsart's impending death that he'd stop recruiting people for a violent mutiny.

[Ed Larson]

I don't think he was wrong. He was. He was dying. They were going in there and Pelsart's like, you piece of. He's sitting there dying me like I'm to it. I'M going to feel better and I'm going to take over this little ship. And they all, like, just, all they had to do was wait.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah, but why not do the suffocate thing that we were talking about earlier?

[Marcus Parks]

That's what I'm saying.

[Henry Zabrowski]

His ass out.

[Marcus Parks]

That's what I'm saying.

[Henry Zabrowski]

No one would have thought any different.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, they weren't ready. They were pussies. And because there still was a bunch of soldiers in the way, there were still. If open war happened, if open war on the op, on the water happened, that would also be really bad for them because the soldiers would outnumber them. And right now, yes, they have the, some of the sailors on, but they did not get to get to the soldiers because you didn't really know who they were going to be loyal to.

[Marcus Parks]

Now, the reason why there wasn't much hope for Pelsart, the reason why Euronimus thought, like, sure, we can just wait around for him to die. You get sick on a ship, you're. That was because he was in the hands of the ship's surgeon and the surgeon's assistant, the under barber.

[Ed Larson]

Under barber. Yeah. Sounds like the guy from Pupic Hair Barber Shop.

[Marcus Parks]

See, the VOC had a hard time getting surgeons for their voyages because of the surgeon's extremely high at sea mortality rate, which had been earned by being constantly stuck in small cabins with sick men. Most likely, if you were treating a guy with a plague, you were going to get the plague. If you were treating a guy with malaria, you were going to get malaria. Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

And there, there would only be one surgeon.

[Marcus Parks]

One surgeon. Well, and the under surgeon.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

So. Yeah, him and his assistant.

[Ed Larson]

Boy.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, because you could barely get like one guy to say yes. And even then you were scraping the bottom of the barrel. You were getting the guy who would fight up enough over in his town where he was looking to leave real fast.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, he's the one with the big like, thick glasses where you can see eyes and his hair shaking up. Him going, oh, boy. You'll hope I don't have to do surgery today.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yahoo serious.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, you mix yahoo serious with goofy. And that's the ship sergeant.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, I just wanted to see what Pepper looked like in its natural state.

[Henry Zabrowski]

All right. Get ready for the kill, Holly.

[Marcus Parks]

Well, mostly surgeons were there to set bones and treat burns, dislocations, concussions, gunshot wounds, gangrene, or any other physical malady that might befall a man on a 17th century ship.

[Ed Larson]

A broken heart, really.

[Marcus Parks]

Though the primary requirement for being a ship Surgeon was not knowledge but stamina because they had to be strong enough to hold down a conscious screaming man while amputating a limb without anesthetic.

[Ed Larson]

And the waves.

[Marcus Parks]

Yes, going back and forth.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Can't you just borrow Soul Soldier for that?

[Marcus Parks]

Nah, you got to do it yourself. Well, concerning the treatment of disease though, the ship's surgeon was also equipped with an apothecary's chest. And after the surgeon used every treatment he could think of to treat the ailing upper merchant Pelsart miraculously recovered. Now, once upper merchant Pelsart was back on his feet, Euronymous and Captain Jacobs resumed planning a violent mutiny, but decided that the small crew they'd gathered would wasn't enough. So they put together a convoluted plan to turn all the ship's crew members against Pelsart by using the object of his affection, Cria Yan's doctor.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, it's very interesting. They decided to play some weird esoteric political game instead of just killing him. Yeah, because I also love the scene that they set by how like it really was this like long night and they were kind of like pretty certain that he was going to be dead they knew about. And then all of a sudden they looked up and they saw him standing at the railing like, and he was like sucking in air like literally like I'm not dead yet. I'm going to get this to Jakarta if it kills me or not.

[Henry Zabrowski]

It's crazy because like we all know that Pelos A but like these guys are like scared to kill him somehow so much that even when he gets better, they attack the woman.

[Marcus Parks]

Yes. Now Pelsart and Crazia weren't together like Captain Jakobs and Crazia servant were. But Pelsart did have an enough affection towards his high born crush where an attack on her might provoke an overreaction in Pelsart. So an assault was planned where the attackers would be disguised. It was hoped that Pelsart would punish every member of the crew. I don't know who did it. So you're all getting a bit of.

[Ed Larson]

This because it seems to be common way amongst captains in the upper merchants.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, yeah. That would sow discord and it would make it far easier when Captain Jakob stood up and said this is a bunch of let's kill Pels start and become pirates. And so in the middle of the night, a team of eight men led by the boatswain invaded Crazy's cabin. And bizarrely, in a move that almost sounds like a prank if it wasn't so aggressive they smeared Crazy his face and genitals with tar and feces in an attack that lasted seconds.

[Ed Larson]

All right, so what should we do here? There's a pink, right? I think what we do is we take her down, we'll cut off her head, we'll cut off her face and show the whole world her stupid little skull. Yeah. When I say we. We could lift her up, we could. We could chop up her arms, we could cut off her feet, we could. We play with her titties. A lot of her. We have all. Do all sorts of crazy stuff with it. And that's what'll get them. Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Can I put Doo doo on her?

[Ed Larson]

My God, Farty Fred, that's the best idea I've heard all night.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Thank you.

[Ed Larson]

That's amazing. Wow. Yeah. Doo Doo.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

Our weapon of cheers choice, of course.

[Marcus Parks]

Word of the attack spread quickly, but it seems like upper merchant Pelsart was either again reluctant to meet out punishment, or he was one step ahead of the mutineers. See, even after Crazy has said she recognized the boatswain as one of her attackers. I know who did it. Pelsart took no action.

[Ed Larson]

It's cuz he knew. Yeah. As soon as she said who it was, he was like, oh, yeah. Oh no. This has gotten real out of hand already, hasn't it?

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah, that's like the one dude he's supposed to trust.

[Marcus Parks]

One of the. Yeah, one of them. He's the guy that's in charge of discipline disciplining everybody else. If the boat swains involved. You're shrewdly. Seems like Pelsart saw through the mutineers plot and was simply waiting until the Batavia reached Java before he made his move. Or at least that's what Euronymous and Captain Jakobs believed. So they decided since they're already to take a more direct mute to mutiny before they reach Java. Because if they reach Java, they would likely both be tried and executed. The next plan was far more straightforward than the first. Basically it's grab Pelart while he's asleep and toss him over the boat.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, like a plan done that. Just plan and be done.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. Grab him, throw him off the boat. That's it. Meanwhile, the rest of the mutineers would grab weapons and nail the hatches of the orlop deck shut so the soldiers not involved in the mutiny couldn't interfere. But just as the plan was about to go go into effect, the ship entered a wind current called the roaring 40s. And no one aboard the Batavia had any idea just how incredibly Dangerous this part of the sea? Could be.

[Ed Larson]

It seems that the wind's picking up.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Why was it called the roaring 40s? Because of the latitude.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. Good job. Way to go. I know maps.

[Ed Larson]

Cuz. Remember the whole thing with the very special highly proprietary dietary Dutch way of getting to the. The to Jakarta and the Indies was that they. They are to go towards Australia and make a left because if not, you ain't gonna make it.

[Marcus Parks]

Now, the Roaring Forties were part of a relatively new route to the Indies discovered by the Dutch. Partly, the roaring 40s were a boon because it avoided lanes patrolled by the Portuguese and any subsequent sea battle that might spring from such an encounter. The roaring 40s also cut 2,000 miles off the journey to Java, but only if you turn. Turned north before you hit the western coast of Australia.

[Ed Larson]

Left if you're going west.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. I mean if you really. The ship from like, like the trail from the Netherlands to Indonesia to Java, the island of Java, where they're going, it was like three lefts.

[Ed Larson]

Y.

[Marcus Parks]

You know, it's like you, you leave at Great Britain. Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

You.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, I left a Great Britain left at Cape Town. Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

Left at Africa left middle of the ocean.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, you're at Jakarta.

[Ed Larson]

It is wild.

[Henry Zabrowski]

How like close did we get? Get to Brazil?

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. No, no, they're just like a dink, dink, dink and that's it. Well, if the ship missed the turn, a low lying chain of 122 coral reefs and barren islands laid directly in their path. This chain called Houtman's Abrolos.

[Ed Larson]

Sure.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. Was discovered by a Dutch upper merchant named Houtman who'd sketch them from a par. I. I always want to call like Hitman's Abril.

[Ed Larson]

It should be like Haltman's Grand Up.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

It's him being like, no, I've created an incredible route.

[Henry Zabrowski]

That's what I've done.

[Ed Larson]

And they're like, no, it's just him standing on a barren reef.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

Drawing pictures of it.

[Marcus Parks]

Well, I mean he'd remember this place. He'd sketched them from afar and noted their location on the navigational chart. Because there really wasn't much in the sea that could rip a ship apart like a coral reef. But Haltman had only discovered the chain a few years before the Batavia set sail. Remember, in information travels very slowly. So this very important information about what was in your path if you missed the turn to the Indies, this had not yet made it into the VOC's latest navigational charts as a Result, the Batavia had no idea that these incredibly dangerous reefs existed. Now, the roaring 40s were the home stretch for VOC ships headed to Java. By the time the Batavia reached this point, the turn left up north, they'd been at Sea for seven months and had only 2,000 more miles to go in their 15,000 mile journey. But perhaps because Captain Jacobs was wrapped up in a mutiny plot and the possibility of execution if it failed. Not to mention a new girlfriend.

[Ed Larson]

She's my fun new girlfriend. And we talk about all sorts of things. About our favorite colors. We talk about what we'd name our dogs when we get them. Daddy. All right, well, let's just.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Oh, please. I've got something cute on for you.

[Ed Larson]

Honestly, I do prefer it when you're silent. Yes, I do. They're like two seagulls with no feathers. All right, now don't you get me horny in front of the boys.

[Marcus Parks]

Well, Captain Jakobs missed the turn north.

[Ed Larson]

That's the thing. He also was partying on the boat when he was sick. When Pelsar was sick, they were all acting like he was going to die anyway. So they're all like partying and hanging out. They just blew right past.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yep, we know Jakobs loves getting hammered.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, no, he really does. And he soon found himself arriving at the reefs of Houtman's Abrolos in the dead of night. A little after 3am on June 4, the ship's lookout saw white water and a massive spray sure fire signs of a reef. He called out his sightings to Captain Jakobs, but Yakob brushed them off, saying that the white spray was just moonbeams dancing on the waves.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, you're full of buddy. All right, you man. I'm trying to watch Great British bacon show my girlfriend.

[Henry Zabrowski]

They only got 15 minutes left.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, I know, I know. When we find out how emotional they are after winning the best Baker, their heart attack sucks.

[Marcus Parks]

Within moments though, Captain Jakobs discovered just how wrong he was when the Batavia slammed into the reef at full speed. Immediately, the ship became impaled on an outcropping 15ft below the surface, which tore the rudder away. Seconds later, the ship's bow hit the body of the massive reef itself, which threw everyone on the deck against the railings of the ship. Being the middle of the night, most people were in bed and were jolting out of sleep when they were thrown forward by the force of the impact. Upon waking, the first thing they heard was the coral gouging its way into the ship's first hull, which Cracked with the sound of a forest falling. Now upper merchant Pelsaert awoke with everyone else and found his ship in total chaos. It was a pitch black night and passengers and crew alike were panicking on the deck. Immediately Pelsart ran to Captain Jakobs and shouted, what?

[Ed Larson]

What have you done? That through your reckless carelessness you have run this noose around our necks.

[Marcus Parks]

Undeterred By Pelsart's reproach, Captain Jakobs shouted orders to pull down the Batavia's 8,900 square foot sails because the continued wind was pinning the ship further into the reef like a man pulling a knife deeper into his own stomach. For the time being, however, there were no serious leaks because ships like the Batavia were built with double hulls to keep something like a reef from being immediately fatal. So at this point there's still a ch chance.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, you're like we can maybe do this because you remember they already had landed on a bank once and got off of it. So they're like, this can happen. Maybe we could figure out. But the, the main issue is they have no idea where the they are.

[Marcus Parks]

Yes, they have no idea where they are because hitting a reef meant they were reasonably close to a shore. But the Batavia was not supposed to be close to any shore prior to reaching the island of Java. So they have no clue where in the ocean they actually are.

[Henry Zabrowski]

They didn't hang that Lucy.

[Marcus Parks]

No they didn't, man. And at that point, like Australia wasn't even really on maps. Like it was just called like Australis, like like no man's land of Australis. Like basically don't go past this point, there's nothing there.

[Ed Larson]

And then when they do go there, sometimes they get killed by the people that live there.

[Marcus Parks]

Yes. Now, once the sun came up a few hours later, upper merchant Pelsar called for a sounding lead to test the depths of the water around them and to see how badly they were if they'd crashed at low tide. The rising waters once the tide came in would lift the ship off the reef enough to make repairs and low limp to Java. If they'd crashed in high tide though they were. And sure enough, at 6am the tide slowly began to fall. As the water around the ship lowered, the passengers and crew saw the jagged tips of the reef emerging from the waves. Before long, the Batavia was surrounded on three sides by coral and the ocean's waves violently bumped the ship against its tool of demise, making walking or standing landing on the deck all but impossible.

[Ed Larson]

It has to be so surreal to be Stuck like that when there's thousands of miles of water around you in all places when you're looking and then all of a sudden it all flood slides away because there's like just kind of these little, little islands kind of around them sort of.

[Marcus Parks]

Well, they can't really at this point they can't see any of them. Yeah, yeah. Now it was clear when the tide fell that the ship wouldn't be able to support its 15 ton main mast once the water dropped to a certain level. Sure enough, when the water receded, the began grinding itself through the bottom of the ship. So in a last ditch attempt at saving the Batavia, Captain Jakobs ordered his men to cut down the main mast. But he did not give them instructions on how to do it safely because.

[Ed Larson]

You can save the main mast, you can actually take it. That's what they do. You can literally chop it off and then if you fall it off. Correct. These things you learn that are crazy. They can save it and reattach it.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, but they couldn't.

[Ed Larson]

No.

[Marcus Parks]

When the main mast fell, it crushed gear and railings before becoming completely entangled on the deck.

[Ed Larson]

It fell forward instead of felling the way it was supposed to fall.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Not to mention all the coral the damaged.

[Ed Larson]

And that to me is one of the biggest. Where's Nemo in this?

[Marcus Parks]

And with that, the Batavia was dead in the water. And the only course the passengers and crew had was to flee on the ship's two lifeboats and hope there was land nearby. But before loading people onto the boats, upper merchant Pelsart got as high as he could and he used his spyglass to spot some islands about six miles away. He sent a crew out through the dangerous maze of reefs, a maze that could sink a rowboat as easily as the ship. And two hours later they returned with news that all passengers and crew could reach the island safely. Now, upper merchant Pelsart's first duty as a VOC representative was to his company and the property on board the Batavia, especially the 500 pound chest full of treasure.

[Ed Larson]

Imagine them glowing and beating like giant evil hearts. Like that's all he can think about, is that the bottom of the, of this whole ship has his whole life in it.

[Marcus Parks]

But in a rare moment of humanity for a VOC company man, this is.

[Ed Larson]

Where he had a heart.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. Pelsart put the people ahead of the loot in order that they be taken to land first. This is of course a temporary change.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

But while this is admirable, Pelsar probably should have assigned a few of his men to rescue supplies at the same time. Because at 10am the hull burst, the cargo holds were flooded and the majority of the supplies they could have used to survive were lost.

[Ed Larson]

Well, definitely the first layer which I was in. His journals are really interesting because he really. He started writing the journals right after the shipwreck. Because what he had to do was create a chain of events and a timeline for his bosses back home for every single thing that happened. Because that's the only way he was going to get out of it. And the way he was talking about it is interesting because even in the. That's kind of why I got like him almost cuz I'm reading his journals and it's a way he's talking about the fact that like he rushed to get the people off Pelsart. Yes, he rushed to get all the people off. And he knew, he did know that there the supplies were going to be. But he chose human life. But then it's like. But what's really the point if you're going to starve to death anyway? Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

And then the. The whole thing where he like loaded the whole boat full of rats before the.

[Marcus Parks]

Sounds crazy.

[Ed Larson]

We got to save this, right?

[Marcus Parks]

I love a rat.

[Ed Larson]

I love them. Just one big boat filled with rats being like, thank you Mr. Peace. Go my nieces.

[Marcus Parks]

The bursting of the hull made the evacuation of the ship a little more urgent. But the Batavia's crew did not subscribe to the women and children first principle. Good once easy for too long once shit got real, the sailors and soldiers pushed their way past the more vulnerable passengers and made the women and children wait for the second shuttle to the islands. Now, incredibly, no one had died when the ship crashed or in the chaos that followed. But when the hull burst, about a dozen men panicked and jumped into the sea where they quickly drowned.

[Ed Larson]

I'm an anonymous man. No one will remember me. No one.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Once at sea and then just jumped off.

[Marcus Parks]

It happens sometimes, just in a moment of panic. You just. Everything that you've done in your life up until that point means Jack, it's true. Because you. You just panic and make the wrong decision. Well, these dozen men were the first of well over a hundred people set to die on the islands of Haltmann's Abrolhos. And you might even say that considering the fresh hell Jeronimus Cornelius was about to create, the men who drowned were the lucky ones. Now the nearest landmass was a mushroom shaped island that was only 525ft across from one end to the other. By that afternoon, 180 survivors were dumped there on land that was hard, flat and sterile with no food or water and nothing to use a shelter. And I truly do mean it's just flat. It's. It is a piece of dirt just.

[Ed Larson]

Sticking out of the ocean.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Hard, flat, sterile. Like Marjorie Green.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, that's what I'm talking about.

[Marcus Parks]

All right. Now the near.

[Ed Larson]

She actually has a fairly large bosom.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Does she? I never looked at it cuz I hate her so much.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

I always check them out. Yeah. Even on men.

[Marcus Parks]

You might be thinking of Lauren Bobert.

[Ed Larson]

Lauren Bobert though. She has my heart.

[Marcus Parks]

No, does she?

[Ed Larson]

She's the real firecracker.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

She just needs somebody to treat her right.

[Marcus Parks]

Because she got. Is it because she got finger blasted in Beetlejuice?

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. The musical approachable politician.

[Marcus Parks]

Children around.

[Henry Zabrowski]

She put the juice in. Beetle juice.

[Ed Larson]

She wasn't wrong.

[Marcus Parks]

Now for reference, as I wish I.

[Ed Larson]

Could be knuckle deep in a House of Representatives, you know, I wish I could.

[Marcus Parks]

Now for reference as to how small this island was and how many people were on it, take a football field, okay. Where a mid sized marching band is in the middle of a routine. Then suddenly, for whatever reason, transport that field with the band still on it to the middle of the ocean, add a couple of end zones, remove, move all the grass, shape the field into a mushroom and you get some idea of the situation. It was that too far to go?

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

You got some idea of the situation in which the survivors of the Batavia found themselves immediately after the shipwreck?

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

But we're in Australia though, so it could be a footy field.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, that's right.

[Henry Zabrowski]

It is a circle, so it kind of works.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, that's nice. Yeah. Well, I don't really know the dimensions of that, but that's cool.

[Ed Larson]

Now fuck. Now, fuck.

[Marcus Parks]

Now fuck. Now you've made me into an idiot.

[Ed Larson]

Thank you. You.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I just went. When we went to Australia, I went to a footage.

[Ed Larson]

I know you're trying to absorb gross culture.

[Marcus Parks]

Well, the only supplies they've been able to save were 150 pints of drinking water and a dozen barrels of hardtack. But that had been against the orders of upper merchant Pelsart, who quickly seemed to be settling back into his role as a VOC company man. He had insisted that his men save a chest of valuable trading goods. That silver that was worth $7.8 million.

[Ed Larson]

Yes.

[Marcus Parks]

Pelsart made sure they got that off the ship.

[Henry Zabrowski]

That's job.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

Oh yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

And he had ordered Captain Jacobs to immediately start shuttling 12 chests to the islands. Jakobs, however, took the food and water instead with a plan to institute rationing immediately.

[Ed Larson]

But also he had a little plan in the back of his head.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah, but in the captain supposed to be the last one on the ship.

[Marcus Parks]

Not this time. Not in a VOC ship I believe.

[Ed Larson]

If it's going down. But his job is to get that stuff.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah, and I guess it wasn't necessarily going down yet. It was like perched like Noah's ark.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, exactly. Now at this point there were still 120 men on the Batavia and some of the sailors had decided to break into storage for the alcohol.

[Ed Larson]

Oh yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

See most of the seamen hadn't had a proper drink for the entire ship. And on empty stomachs they became very drunk. Very quickly, fueled with alcohol, the men on the Batavia began looting for all the good it would do them on the open sea.

[Ed Larson]

Dude, it's crazy, right? Humans are weird. Humans are. When we covered the USS Indianapolis. Yeah, it's that thing of like cuz what good would it do? Like you're going to sit in an island filled with jewels and all this, like it doesn't matter.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. One group smashed open the VOC chest which caused thousands of guilders to burst onto the deck. So many guilders that the men began playfully throwing handfuls of the treasure at one another.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I mean that is fun.

[Marcus Parks]

It's really fun. No, it's a fun, you know, it's a very fun image.

[Ed Larson]

It's a fun nihilistic afternoon.

[Marcus Parks]

Money fights. Y one man, however, went for the knives and built a small arsenal hidden about his person. Perhaps knowing that if things went south on the islands as they were likely to do, weapons would be far more valuable than gold.

[Henry Zabrowski]

The Danny Trejo of the group.

[Ed Larson]

Oh, he's correct.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. Now by the next evening, day two, the priority had become the movement of the majority of the survivors to a bigger island. But not for the good of the survivors at large. See, the crew had discovered a womb shaped island about a thousand feet across, just a mile from the Batavia.

[Ed Larson]

What's a womb shape?

[Henry Zabrowski]

Vagina.

[Marcus Parks]

No, no, no, no.

[Ed Larson]

Womb hole or.

[Marcus Parks]

No, like a womb. Like a womb is shaped like a woman's womb is shaped womb.

[Ed Larson]

I thought a womb was just like a circle.

[Marcus Parks]

It's like, it's like a ovalish.

[Ed Larson]

You talking about uterus?

[Marcus Parks]

I'm talking about a womb.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I'm talking all these guys there on this womb shaped island there's going to be, you know, too many womb mates.

[Ed Larson]

That's what I'M saying there's going to be no womb for them to hang out. It's pear shaped one.

[Marcus Parks]

You say pear shaped because that was the descriptor that the people on the Batavia used.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Oh, yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

They didn't know what a pear was.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah, they never saw a pear. But they have torn the womb out of a woman.

[Marcus Parks]

That is true. That is true.

[Ed Larson]

They do have that of three white men.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. My. My last three wives.

[Ed Larson]

Wombs fell out of their butts. I'll never forget it. Some of my favorite days.

[Marcus Parks]

Well, this womb shaped island was a barren strip.

[Ed Larson]

Pear shaped. For those of you that don't know what that y.

[Marcus Parks]

It was a barren strip of coral rubble with no shelter or fresh water. Soon the survivors would come to know this island as Batavia's graveyard. But to save himself and those of his class, Pelsart sent 180 survivors to Batavia's graveyard by boat, while he and 40 of the better seamen and favored passengers stayed in the movie Mushroom Shaped island with most of the food and water. The Batavia, meanwhile, still hadn't gone under. And 70 men remained hanging out on the top deck, still drinking and tacitly following Pelsaert's orders to salvage as much company property as possible. Now Pelsart ordered the men on the shipwreck to construct rafts and save themselves the day after the shipwrecked. But perhaps because the Batavia promised the only shelter around as long as it stayed together, they refused to leave.

[Ed Larson]

Which makes total sense.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

Because it's actually way more coverage than the island. We got all this in here and there's beds and stuff and whatever.

[Marcus Parks]

Zero coverage in the island.

[Henry Zabrowski]

And they're drunk when you get lazy when you're drunk.

[Marcus Parks]

That's true.

[Ed Larson]

It's easier to sleep on a boat when you're drunk. Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. Well, amongst the men who stayed behind on the Batavia, perhaps directing the rescue of company property, was Euronimus Cornelis, who was no doubt trying to figure out how he could turn this disaster to his advantage. His day, however, would not come just yet. Although it would very soon.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, Euronymous hid on the boat, essentially.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

It's like he hid back because he was like. Because at first it's. I. I do feel like it was like he was in a cocoon of evil where he's sitting there being like, I don't know. Because he's very weak.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

You know, like, this isn't some rugged guy.

[Marcus Parks]

No, he's. He's a pharmacist.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

Now, after four days on the Islands trying to find fresh water and coming up empty. Upper Merchant Pelsart decided that it would probably be best if he left on one of the boats to go get help in Java.

[Ed Larson]

Listen, I'll be right back, I promise.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah, I was going to go to Indonesia real quick.

[Marcus Parks]

Someone's got to go. Might as well be me.

[Ed Larson]

Put. Yeah, right here. And I'm going to be right back.

[Henry Zabrowski]

And we get some smokes.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. But perhaps going off the principle of keeping your friends close and your enemies closer. Pelsart ordered Captain Jakobs to come with.

[Ed Larson]

Him because he was certain he was in charge of the mutiny. Yeah, like that's what Pelsart thought. It was Jakobs, not Euronimus. Yeah, it was both of them, but he did not. Pelsart assumed that it was Captain Jacobs who was doing it. So he was like, you're coming with me. Super friendly, like. But then in the journal, he's watching his every move and writing all the stuff, basically building evidence against Jakobs while they're traveling around. Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

Now, most likely, Jakobs knew at this point that he was utterly. Because Pelsart had, of course, pegged him as a mutineer. But with Jakob's compatriots scattered across islands, shipwrecks and what have you, he had no choice but to go along. So on June 8, Pelsart, Captain Jacobs and 46 other survivors from the Batavia's crew and passenger list loaded up on one of their two boats for an extended ocean voyage to Java. It was their longboat. They had a big one and a small one. They took the big one.

[Ed Larson]

Just keep the graveyard warm for me.

[Marcus Parks]

As for the survivors, they were told that if all went well and the rescue party didn't die on the open sea, upper Merchant Pelsart would return within a month or two with a full support of the VOC behind him. And don't worry, Cummins coming, companies coming to save you.

[Ed Larson]

But there is like a. Apparently there is like, there's a. What's it called? There's a precedent for this. They've had this happened. This has happened before. Yeah, not here, but there have been shipwrecks and the VOC and survivors have gotten to where they're supposed to go and the VOC has come and got it. Because the thing is, they got all their stuff. So the Vic. The VOCs will come and get their property.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. And it is in their best interest to not kill passengers either.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

It's the passengers they care about. They don't care about the sailors.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah. You all play it cool. I'll be back in a month, and if I'm not back by then, raping. Eat each other.

[Marcus Parks]

Well, in all, Pelsart was leaving behind 270 survivors, including his supposed sweetheart, Craig, Tracia, Yan's doctor. He did take two women and some children, but he still left several of both behind to an almost certain death by starvation or dehydration. Because the freshwater salvage from the Batavia was nearly gone by the time he left, no one had any idea when it was going to rain again.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah, that water wasn't great to begin with. No, it's all algae.

[Marcus Parks]

And at this point, I. I think it said that the water was full of worms. Worms, yeah. Yeah, but you could eat.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah, you can eat worms.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, you can eat the worms.

[Henry Zabrowski]

That's nice.

[Ed Larson]

Actually, I could just see Pelsart with the little boy that he might have met somewhere on the. On the thing. Just, like, getting me. He's like, all right, all right there, little Steven. I. You just stay right here and you just have fun.

[Marcus Parks]

Can you do that for me?

[Ed Larson]

Can you do that for me? Okay.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Sandcastle's right.

[Ed Larson]

All right, I'm right back. All right, all right. See ya. Bye bye. Have fun.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Hold on. One more kiss. We'll stay for, like, five more minutes.

[Marcus Parks]

How have I never kissed a boy before today? How have I let such unknown pleasures go? Unknown?

[Ed Larson]

Ah, truly, the rarer fragrances.

[Marcus Parks]

These conditions, however, would not be how the majority of the people on Batavia's graveyard met their doom. Rather, many would die at the hands of, quote, several dozen of the worst cutthroats and drunkards who had sailed for Amsterdam. That was how author Mike Dash put it. And one man would set it all into motion. See, most of the senior VOC officers had lit out on the longboat with Pelsart and Jakobs, but someone from the VOC had to be left in charge while they were all gone. At this point, Pelsart didn't know every person who was involved in planning the mutiny, because in a grave mistake, he chose Euronymous Cornelz as leader in his stead, effectively given the Amor Moral under Merchant permission to turn the islands into his own dictatorial, syphilitic nightmare.

[Ed Larson]

Cool.

[Marcus Parks]

And that's where we'll pick back up for part three of the Batavia, where the murders and mayhem will officially begin. Disguised as murderous mayhem often is as law and order.

[Ed Larson]

Marcus, when do I get my own detour? Tatial syphilitic nightmare.

[Marcus Parks]

Henry, here's a secret. You can have one anytime.

[Ed Larson]

Oh, the secrets in me.

[Marcus Parks]

Well, you got to get syphilis first.

[Ed Larson]

Oh, okay. I will do.

[Henry Zabrowski]

And the long boat. I want to ask a question about the longboat before we. It's just like a giant. Like there's no like shelter as far as like years of. You're out in the elements.

[Ed Larson]

I actually don't know.

[Marcus Parks]

I actually don't know. But I do believe it might just be a really big rowboat.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah, that's what I. That's what I'm picturing.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. Like a Viking long boat. Yes.

[Ed Larson]

I'm pretty certain in the rest there's.

[Marcus Parks]

Definitely no like cabins or anything like that.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. But as you read the journal, it does kind of talk about that. I'm pretty certain it is just a giant rowboat and they just. You. It gets real boring real fast.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I could only imagine.

[Ed Larson]

Frightening.

[Henry Zabrowski]

You know what else I find to be very cool about this whole story is that the Batavia itself crashes into the coral and then, you know, inevitably will sink into the coral and then become coral itself.

[Ed Larson]

Oh, it's a circle of life. Actually. They did save a lot of it. And actually the Batavia is currently in a museum. I forget where it is.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Oh really?

[Marcus Parks]

I think it's in Australia. The. I think it's an Ameritam museum.

[Ed Larson]

Australia.

[Henry Zabrowski]

We missed it.

[Ed Larson]

That's all. I watched a YouTube video of it. So I basically.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Is it the Maritime Museum in Sydney?

[Ed Larson]

No.

[Marcus Parks]

No.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I almost went and I didn't. I would have been mad.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. I think it's somewhere like really obscure and weird.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, I saw it though. But I look. But they. There's a YouTube video. You walk through the whole ship. It's cool.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I'm looking at the map the whole time. Marcus is. Thank you for the map, Rob. I'm looking at the map the whole time. You're telling the story. And so like it looks like the reef is like around Perth, right? Like close.

[Ed Larson]

It's on the. Yes, it is on the western side of Australia.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, the western side.

[Henry Zabrowski]

It's not the Great Barrier Reef. Cuz it's on the other side.

[Ed Larson]

No, it's on the Barrier Reef.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, it's on the barren side of Australia.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. There's nothing there but Perth.

[Ed Larson]

Well, guys.

[Marcus Parks]

And perlings.

[Ed Larson]

And perlings are enough.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah. Also, I want to give a quick congratulations to Henry and I for not making one seaman joke. Not one tard rope.

[Ed Larson]

Not one. Not one. Not one.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. I've actually been kind of wondering when you guys were going to jump on that.

[Henry Zabrowski]

It was too easy, you know.

[Ed Larson]

What it was is that I noticed.

[Marcus Parks]

I mean, I didn't set you. Really, really set you up for anything. There weren't like, you know, any obvious ends.

[Ed Larson]

You just. You know what it is? You were too proud of your use of the word semen. Because I knew what you were doing.

[Marcus Parks]

I mean, it's.

[Ed Larson]

I knew you were trying to goad me.

[Marcus Parks]

I wasn't trying to do anything, but.

[Ed Larson]

I knew what you're trying to do.

[Marcus Parks]

It's the word that is used for men at sea.

[Ed Larson]

I do believe that semen in this case is more appropriate than sailors.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

Because I just feel that these seamen, well, they're bunching up. Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

And if they would have studied harder, they would have been beaten.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. It's the cream of the blood.

[Ed Larson]

It's the cream of the goddamn blood. Check out our patreon.com lastpodcast on the left and you will see the Cream of Our Blood, which is our podcast.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Dallas, baby. We're coming to Dallas February 22nd. That's going to be amazing at the CU Theater. I can't wait. Especially in Grand Prairie, Texas. But, yeah, we're going to do that. And then we got a whole other bunch of shows coming down the pipe. We're going to be Nashville, Toronto. We're doing Detroit. There going to be some other announcements coming soon.

[Ed Larson]

We're about to release a bunch of other shows. We cannot wait. Go to last podcast on the left.com to buy those tickets for us. We are good at eat. Come see.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yes. And if you watch us on Patreon, you can see the wonderful map that's behind Marcus when you watch the show.

[Ed Larson]

That you're listening to.

[Marcus Parks]

And you can also follow us on all the socials at Tik Tok and Instagram. Tik Tok's still around, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. At LP on the left. And don't forget to go watch all of our wonderful streams over at Twitch TV, LPNTV and everything. VOD on our YouTube channel afterwards. Thank you all so much.

[Ed Larson]

Thank you.

[Marcus Parks]

Ham Satan on Hell Gain.

[Henry Zabrowski]

God, all these guys suck.

[Marcus Parks]

Hail the reef.

[Ed Larson]

You know what? The reef.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Hail Joel and Shaw for working overtime on this.

[Ed Larson]

They're killing.

[Marcus Parks]

Our researchers are really killing it and really helping out on this one.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

So this is unbelievable. So hail them.

[Marcus Parks]

Hail them.

[Ed Larson]

And make sure turn left. Don't miss that left.

[Marcus Parks]

Turn left. Now, now, now, now, now, now, now.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Nah, it's.