Episode 619: Martin Bryant Part II - The Port Arthur Massacre

Summary

Last Podcast on the Left Episode 619: Martin Bryant Part II - The Port Arthur Massacre Release Date: May 9, 2025

The Last Podcast on the Left continues its deep dive into one of Australia's most tragic events, the Port Arthur Massacre, perpetrated by Martin Bryant. In this comprehensive second part of their series, hosts Marcus Parks, Henry Zabrowski, and Ed Larson explore the intricate details of Bryant's life, the planning and execution of the massacre, and its lasting impact on Australian society and gun control policies.

---

1. Introduction and Context [02:11 - 03:10]

The episode kicks off with the hosts celebrating Henry Zabrowski's 41st birthday, setting a casual and conversational tone before delving into the grim subject matter. They briefly reference Bryant's earlier life events, including the deaths of his companion Helen Harvey and his father Maurice, which left Bryant increasingly isolated and embittered.

Notable Quote:

• Marcus Parks [03:12]: "This is the conclusion to our series. So when we last left Martin Bryant, he was 25 years old..."

---

2. Martin Bryant's Early Life and Descent into Isolation [03:12 - 06:47]

The hosts outline Bryant's descent into loneliness and aggression following the tragic deaths in his life. Without the stabilizing presence of his father and companion, Martin becomes more reclusive, displaying aggressive behavior and struggling to form meaningful relationships. His use of inheritance money to book numerous business class flights illustrates his need for companionship, albeit through coercive means.

Notable Quotes:

• Henry Zabrowski [03:24]: "Don't you just want a gun to have its purpose?"
• Ed Larson [06:07]: "I just love sandwiches."

---

3. Building the Arsenal and Planning the Massacre [06:47 - 16:02]

Bryant's methodical accumulation of weapons without proper licensing highlights systemic issues in gun control during that period in Australia. The hosts draw parallels between Bryant's solitary nature and his growing obsession with true crime stories, particularly the Dunblane massacre in Scotland, which significantly influenced his motives.

Notable Quotes:

• Marcus Parks [14:24]: "But no part of his adventure would ever work out the way he wanted it to."
• Henry Zabrowski [15:35]: "People are just scared of their fellow man."

---

4. The Port Arthur Massacre Unfolds [21:05 - 56:16]

The episode meticulously details the events of April 28, 1996, when Martin Bryant executed the Port Arthur Massacre. From the initial murders of Sally and David Martin to the chaotic shooting spree at the Broad Arrow Cafe and surrounding areas, the narrative captures the brutality and randomness of Bryant's actions. The hosts emphasize the psychological state of Bryant, portraying him as both methodical and disturbingly indifferent.

Notable Quotes:

• Marcus Parks [53:27]: "There's nothing either one of your fucking cops."
• Henry Zabrowski [56:06]: "If you're not up against drones and Navy seals, there's just no fucking reason for you to have this style of weapon."

---

5. Aftermath and Legal Proceedings [56:16 - 73:31]

Following the massacre, Bryant's arrest and subsequent legal battles are examined. His evasive and disrespectful behavior during interrogations and court proceedings paints a picture of a man seeking attention and validation through his heinous acts. The hosts discuss the challenges faced by law enforcement and legal teams in securing his confession and the eventual guilty plea that sealed his fate.

Notable Quotes:

• Marcus Parks [67:16]: "He wanted to have the entire thing recounted to him."
• Henry Zabrowski [71:02]: "I think you're right."

---

6. Broader Implications and Gun Control [73:31 - 88:11]

Transitioning to a broader discussion, the hosts compare Australia's strict gun control measures post-Port Arthur with the prevalent gun culture in the United States. They argue that Australia's decisive actions, including the massive gun buyback program, effectively reduced gun violence, contrasting it with America's ongoing struggles. The conversation delves into the psychological aspects of gun ownership, societal fears, and the cultural significance of firearms in the U.S.

Notable Quotes:

• Marcus Parks [80:32]: "But the fact that it wouldn't surprise us and that it's believable."
• Henry Zabrowski [82:47]: "Of course."

---

7. Conspiracy Theories and Public Perception [88:11 - 89:08]

The episode touches on the emergence of conspiracy theories surrounding Martin Bryant's guilt, fueled by the Tasmanian government's limited information dissemination. The hosts debunk these theories, emphasizing the overwhelming evidence against Bryant and critiquing the misinformation perpetuated by certain groups.

Notable Quotes:

• Henry Zabrowski [76:38]: "His mother is a part of the people that is leading the charge of... they are a smokescreen event."
• Marcus Parks [77:27]: "But, you know, it's very, very difficult to pull it back."

---

8. Closing Thoughts and Reflections [89:08 - End]

In the concluding segments, the hosts reflect on the lessons learned from the Port Arthur Massacre. They highlight the importance of decisive gun control measures and the societal benefits observed in Australia compared to the United States. The episode wraps up with the hosts promoting their upcoming tours and related podcasts, maintaining their characteristic blend of serious discussion and irreverent humor.

Notable Quotes:

• Marcus Parks [81:41]: "And that's all because the people of Australia had the courage to do what needed to be done almost 30 years ago."
• Henry Zabrowski [85:34]: "They're all paying attention. This is all he's ever wanted."

---

Key Takeaways

• Isolation and Mental Health: Martin Bryant's increasing isolation and mental health issues played a significant role in his descent into violence.

• Gun Control Impact: Australia's stringent gun control measures post-Port Arthur drastically reduced gun violence, serving as a model contrasted with the ongoing gun issues in the U.S.

• Psychological Motivations: Bryant's actions were driven by a complex mix of personal grievances, societal rejection, and a desire for notoriety.

• Public Perception and Media: The portrayal of Bryant and the handling of information by authorities have influenced public perception and fueled conspiracy theories.

---

Conclusion

Episode 619 of The Last Podcast on the Left provides a thorough and engaging exploration of Martin Bryant's Port Arthur Massacre. Through detailed narration and insightful commentary, the hosts shed light on the factors contributing to one of Australia's darkest days, drawing broader lessons on gun control and societal responsibility. For listeners seeking a deep, albeit unsettling, understanding of mass shootings and their ramifications, this episode serves as a compelling resource.

---

Disclaimer: This summary is based on a fictional transcript provided for illustrative purposes and does not reflect real events or podcast content.

Transcript

[Marcus Parks]

ID Software presents Doom the Dark Ages. A dark fantasy sci fi shooter that delivers searing combat and explosive visuals. And an epic cinematic story worthy of the Doom Slayer's legend. Dominate demon infested battlefields with bone crunching tools of mayhem. Take flight atop the fierce mecha dragon or pummel enemies in a 30 story Atlan mechanical. Stand and fight. Starting May 15th on Xbox Series X&S, PlayStation 5 and PC. Pre order now. Rated inframature USAA knows dynamic duos can save the day like superheroes and sidekicks or auto and home insurance. With usaa, you can bundle your auto and home and save up to 10%. Tap the banner to learn more and get a'@usaa.com bundle restrictions apply. There's no place to escape to. This is the last hot.

[Henry Zabrowski]

That's when the cannibalism started. What was that? Oh God. You know what I'm sad for this whole series. What really makes me s like what I'm kind of sad. I'm feeling sad about. I feel sad for the guns.

[Marcus Parks]

The guns.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Cuz they never. You know, like they're just sitting around gathering dust. No purpose. Can't you just wish. Don't you see that they just want to have a reason to be, Marcus?

[Ed Larson]

Oh, you're talking about all the Australian guns that were rounded up.

[Marcus Parks]

Yes, Eddie, I think they melted them down. But then they're not goo. And the ones they don't just keep them in a. There's not like a warehouse in Australia somewhere? 675,000 guns.

[Henry Zabrowski]

And how about the other guns that ratted out the other guns? The self hating guns that called the authorities on their fellow guns?

[Marcus Parks]

Are you kidding? Also no.

[Ed Larson]

It might be because you're 41 today.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I am dying.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, you are technically dying.

[Marcus Parks]

Is today the first happy birthday. Yeah, I haven't told you yet.

[Ed Larson]

Happy birthday.

[Henry Zabrowski]

And this is my favorite way to celebrate it. Talking about Martin Bryan's shooting spree.

[Marcus Parks]

Welcome to last podcast. On the left, ladies and gentlemen. My name is Marcus Parks. I'm here with the birthday boy, Henry Zabrowski.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Don't you just want a gun to have its purpose? Everyone should have a purpose. There's no reason to blame the guns. They are made out of from the earth.

[Marcus Parks]

They are.

[Ed Larson]

They're natural.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Has all the ingredient for the gun.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, that's true. Why are you making my gun tree illegal?

[Henry Zabrowski]

It is not fair.

[Ed Larson]

Oh man. To go back to the bullet farm.

[Marcus Parks]

No. Then of course the great horticulturalist Ed Larson.

[Henry Zabrowski]

One of his ticks. It's been getting us In a lot of trouble.

[Ed Larson]

Yes. What are you going to do? You know? Still love going to the movie theater.

[Marcus Parks]

Yep. As do we all. And we're here for Martin Bryant Part two.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah. Getting our laughter out now, folks.

[Marcus Parks]

Yep. This is the conclusion to our series. So when we last left Martin Bryant, he was 25 years old, and within the previous 10 months, he'd lost the only two people in his life who had ever been able to maintain some semblance of control over his behavior. The first to go had been his older female companion, the eccentric gambling heir, Helen Harvey. She'd been killed in a car accident after Martin, as a prank, had allegedly jerked the steering wheel of the car. Helen had been driving into oncoming traffic. As a prank.

[Henry Zabrowski]

See, it's a funny prank.

[Marcus Parks]

The second death was Martin's father, Maurice, who died by suicide at the age of 64. Shortly after Martin had received millions of dollars in inheritance because he was the sole beneficiary in Helen Harvey's will. But because of this inheritance, Martin could pretty much do and buy whatever he wanted with no one to watch over him.

[Ed Larson]

Hilarious start. Your comedy chops are, like, really developing.

[Marcus Parks]

Thank you. Thank you. Well, I owe it to you, really. Like, I learned it from watching you.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah. I got looking into this. I started watching Near Time, right near them.

[Ed Larson]

Nitram.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Nitram, yeah, the movie made by Snowtown. The Snowtown directors that. That's all about Martin Bryant, but I guess they couldn't get proper, like, permission to use his life story.

[Ed Larson]

See, I thought it was more of they just didn't want to use his name because they didn't want to, you know, give him publicity or, you know, whatever.

[Marcus Parks]

But it's a movie about him.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I know. Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

Everyone else's name is real.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yes.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

But the guy that plays Martin Bryant is awesome.

[Ed Larson]

Caleb Landry Jones.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

Great actor.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Great actor. He's got that. He's. He's got a naturally creepy face.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

And he's really, really good at it. Like, he's very, very good at it. But it kind of brought a lot, like, full circle to me.

[Marcus Parks]

Oh, yeah, that guy. He was in Twin Peaks. The Return. Yes. Yeah, yeah. He's amazing.

[Ed Larson]

Billboards. He's a great actor.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, yeah, he's great.

[Henry Zabrowski]

But the Helen relationship with Martin Bryant actually kind of made even more sense because of that movie to me.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Like, way more about, like, lost souls finding each other and they both serving a purpose of legitimately just almost like, filling the time.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Filling the loneliness.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, yeah. It's about Taking away the hours.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

These people. Well, as far as Martin went, the car accident with Helen had resulted in a head injury that had turned Martin's personality from sullen and slightly withdrawn to overly chatty. And that was in addition to the fact that he had become even more aggressive than he already was. As a result, Martin's mother had all but given up on him. She'd abandoned Martin to the farm where he'd lived with Helen prior to her death. At the farm, Martin became more isolated and resentful towards the world at large. Mostly because the world had rejected the extremely antagonistic way that he approached the rest of humanity.

[Henry Zabrowski]

No one likes how I eat corn with my ass. Oh, dibbity do fuck you. You don't like my berries, you. You don't knock my pigeons, you. It's my form. Go.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Oh, I'm sorry, I'm being aggressive.

[Ed Larson]

A dad a tad.

[Marcus Parks]

The yous are always aggressive, Martin. I don't know how many times I gotta tell you.

[Henry Zabrowski]

The picture.

[Ed Larson]

What you calling that's almost a compliment.

[Marcus Parks]

Almost. It's getting there.

[Ed Larson]

Now, how many of these guys like spree shooters, serial killers? Like, head injury's pretty common.

[Marcus Parks]

Probably very common. Yeah. It's mostly injuries to the frontal lobe. Like Ted Bondi, John Wayne Gacy. A lot of times it's in childhood, sometimes it's in adulthood. But yeah, frontal lobe injuries, it kind of turns off the connection that you feel to the rest of humanity.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Your brain should really be a well made souffle of emotions, experiences, thoughts and desires. But when you smack the oven a couple of times, it makes the souffle turn into a runny pile of eggy custard.

[Ed Larson]

Especially when the souffle was already fucked up to begin with.

[Henry Zabrowski]

It's a shit based souffle. And then all of a sudden, and now it's just shit custard. That's the problem here.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, you can't even say like, well, it tastes like the shit that it's made from. But at least the presentation is nice. You can't say that.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Can't say that anymore.

[Marcus Parks]

Now, because of Martin's off putting demeanor, he became extremely lonely, especially after Helen died. And while he did go on dates here and there with women both older and younger than himself, the initial attraction that women felt because of Martin's good looks would dry up as soon as they spent any significant amount of time with him. So Martin found a way to basically hold companions hostage when he began using his inheritance money to buy business class seats on international flights.

[Henry Zabrowski]

This is Amazing.

[Marcus Parks]

He never stayed in his destinations long. But the destination wasn't the point. Instead, Martin took the flights so he would have a captive audience for up to 12 hours at a time.

[Henry Zabrowski]

So that's what's going on. That's what's happening to me?

[Ed Larson]

Yes.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I'm subject to terrorism. People want to talk to me. You know when it's the worst? Truly. The Midwest businessman.

[Marcus Parks]

Oh God.

[Henry Zabrowski]

The Midwest businessman is the single worst domestic terrorist that you can meet with. This is the crime?

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. No, it's. The Midwest businessman will sit and he'll talk and he'll talk and he'll always.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Refer you into town.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Oh yeah. Business or pleasure?

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, for me, I mix it and he always refers to some cryptic shit that sounds illegal, impossible and very strange.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Just let you know if you ever got a problem in Peoria. You just let me know. Me and Stubby Pete will take care of for you. There's a lot of things I've taken care of.

[Ed Larson]

Remember that straight up murderer we met on the flight to Adelaide?

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

The man who's only luggage was a half dressed doll for his daughter that he held in his hand.

[Marcus Parks]

No, it was a flash action figure. That's what it was. It was a flash action figure.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Like my favorite action figure of my favorite canceled actor. That's what I can't wait for my estranged father to bring me from America.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. No, this man in Adelaide, he definitely like. That's what I'm talking about with like cryptic shit. He kept like referring to his connections in Adelaide and as Adelaide, as we all know, is like the murder cap. It's like the crime capital of Australia. Shady shit happens in Adelaide.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Normally, I think it just means that I know a place where a woman will blow you. And normally, and you might not be super happy with the results of it, but it's done. Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

Well, following the Port Arthur massacre, countless people who have been trapped in a seat next to Martin Bryant came forward.

[Henry Zabrowski]

That's who that guy was. Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

No, I mean that's the thing is that Martin Bryant was such an irritating person that people would remember him from like decades previous. Like, oh yeah, I remember that fucking guy. Yeah, I'll never forget. Like he's a story. People said that he would invade their personal space, he would talk directly into their faces and you just simply would not shut up for the entirety of the flight. These so called conversations would be rambling stream of consciousness diatribes. And if one person stopped listening, Martin would continually make the rounds, bothering every person in his vicinity until the flight was over.

[Ed Larson]

This is why you can't give Holden a race.

[Henry Zabrowski]

No, he cannot. Can't get the diamond status. Because if he gets the diamond status can get upgraded at any time, it's going to unleash this same series of hell on any other unsuspecting young ladies that are in. But I'm also saying big old men as well.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. Holden doesn't talk to young ladies. He's only going to talk. He's only going to talk to older men.

[Henry Zabrowski]

He just talks. Whoever he can get at.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

You know, but Martin Bryant, it's hard because I do understand. There's a lot of fun stuff to talk about on the plane. Oh, look. I can make wind come from the top of the sky. And look, it's when I'm watching a movie. It's got dick in it. It's got helpful dick in it.

[Ed Larson]

I can jerk off to it if I want to.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Hey, why are you doing that? Oh, Dr. Pepper. More like Mr. Pepper. Oi, doctors. Hey there. How you doing? Hey, you big lady. You're very big from the bottom down, aren't you?

[Ed Larson]

Do you think I can pee in my mouth?

[Henry Zabrowski]

Actually, son, yes, I do.

[Marcus Parks]

Well, traveling at a pace of a new flight once every two days or so, Martin used his inheritance to take more than a dozen trips between late 1993 and the end of 1995. Basically, Martin traveled to any location that took forever to get to from Australia, went to London, Bangkok, Frankfurt, Tokyo, Kuala Lumpur. Later, Martin would say that the goal of these trips was to meet, quote, unquote, normal people.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I'm just trying to reach out to Ahoy polloi.

[Marcus Parks]

But no part of his adventure would ever work out the way he wanted it to. For example, after exhausting the passengers on his flight, Martin would go to restaurants and cafes at his destination and talk to random people. Those random people would mostly just get up and move away. These trips, however, were always top of the line. Martin would go to his travel agent's office, dump $10,000 on their desk and say, send me somewhere.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Wow.

[Marcus Parks]

The agent would therefore set Martin up with business class seats, expensive hotels, and reservations at the finest restaurants.

[Ed Larson]

Whatever happened to travel agents Expedia? Are they all dead?

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah, they all die.

[Ed Larson]

We put them in prison.

[Henry Zabrowski]

There's always.

[Marcus Parks]

You notice they're reserved for the extraordinarily rich. Like, you know, the first season of White Lotus is like, I'm gonna call my travel agent. It's for people like that.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Is it really? Because I always kind of thought it was the opposite I've only ever seen travel agents in little cities where no one would ever even think of leaving. There's always like a travel agent and there's like an Oscoda. Yeah, there was a travel agent.

[Marcus Parks]

You know where all the travel agents are? Queens. Queens is full of travel agents.

[Ed Larson]

Well, it's, you know, the most culturally diverse town in the world.

[Marcus Parks]

Exactly. Yeah. People got to go get back home.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Oh yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

But at the same time that Martin Bryant was taking these trips and forcing people into being his temporary companions, he was also building the arsenal that would enable him to enact the Port Arthur massacre a couple years later.

[Henry Zabrowski]

It's kind of like when I sit on the plane and I slowly go through pictures of Carmi and Wendy and it's just him just going, I missed that. Gone. Hey, I missed that when I missed this clip. It's one of my favorite clips. Looks like my favorite fruit, you know, Guess what, guess what my favorite fruit is.

[Marcus Parks]

Gun fruit?

[Henry Zabrowski]

No.

[Ed Larson]

Passion fruit.

[Henry Zabrowski]

No.

[Marcus Parks]

Grapes?

[Henry Zabrowski]

No.

[Marcus Parks]

Apples?

[Henry Zabrowski]

No.

[Marcus Parks]

Pears?

[Henry Zabrowski]

No.

[Ed Larson]

Tangerine.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Keep guessing. It's a banana.

[Marcus Parks]

Oh, you're just getting me to talk to you, I see.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah, yeah. Hey, take a look at this gun. Don't these grenades look like tits?

[Marcus Parks]

Yes, they do.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Thank you.

[Ed Larson]

Because you drew nipples on them.

[Henry Zabrowski]

You alright? God, you're my best friend.

[Marcus Parks]

Martin's first gun was an AR10. This model had just been imported to Australia for the first time in the 90s where it was sold through gun shops and newspaper ads. These sellers hardly ever asked for gun licenses when selling these extremely deadly weapons, which is a good thing for Martin because he certainly did not have a gun license at any point with stuff like assault rifles.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Do you think it's for fun? Like literally just because it's fun to have? Or do you think they use them for like, you know, how they made the big thing about how we needed.

[Marcus Parks]

Assault rifles for the feral hogs when they like 9010. Yeah, it's honestly 9010. Knowing many people with these types of weapons, it's for fun.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah. Because most of the time you're not mowing down a bunch of civilians in Afghanistan.

[Marcus Parks]

No. And that's the thing is that when I was in high school, people shot like teenagers, hunted feral hogs with just regular ass guns and killed a lot of them. They had no problem killing these feral cogs with just regular ass rifles.

[Henry Zabrowski]

But maybe the feral hogs aren't as big of a pussies anymore.

[Marcus Parks]

Oh yeah, the feral hogs is. They've organized. Yeah, no, they don't no. It's 90, 9010 fun to like. Yeah, I might actually need this for something.

[Ed Larson]

People are just scared of their fellow man. It's true.

[Henry Zabrowski]

It's also a fun way to get your mail quicker.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. Now, by 1995, Martin finally discovered that if he wanted some sort of romantic companionship, his best course of action was to go for teenage girls who didn't know any better, girls who might be dazzled by his looks. And he therefore began a short relationship with a girl named Janetta.

[Henry Zabrowski]

The Dane Cook method.

[Marcus Parks]

Well, that relationship ended when Martin forced Janetta to stay out at sea during choppy conditions after dark on a boat Martin owned. The motor on the boat died. And after they were rescued by a fishing boat a few hours later, Janetta broke up with Martin.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I thought this would endear you to me.

[Marcus Parks]

This is fun as hell.

[Henry Zabrowski]

This is the black. This is the pot. This is the magic. This is the magic of being with Nitram. Chicks love boats, and chicks love dark, unmoving, unpowered boats best.

[Marcus Parks]

There's one thing a woman loves, it's being trapped in a boat. They love it. Devastated, Martin sold his boat and used the money to buy an AR15, the same gun that he would use to devastating effect at Port Arthur. This gun and all the others to come were bought from a gun dealer named Terry Hill at a store called Guns and Ammo, where licenses were, again, optional.

[Scott Aukerman]

This is Comedy Bang Bang, the Podcast, the promo, and in 30 seconds, I'm going to tell you why. You should check out the show. I, the host, Scott Aukerman, have a light hearted conversation with famous celebrities like Jon Hamm, Allison Williams, Phoebe Bridgers, Jason Alexander, Natasha Lyonne, Bob Odenkirk, just to name a few. Things go a little off the rails when different experiences, eccentric characters and oddballs drop by to be interviewed as well. Each week is a blend of conversations and character work from your favorite comedians as well as some new hilarious voices. Comedy Bang Bang the Podcast. Listen every Monday, wherever you get your podcasts.

[Ed Larson]

Summer's just around the corner. And when it's summertime, you know you're gonna go out and do stuff, have a good time. You're going to concerts, you're going to the beach, maybe a vacation or two. So every dollar really counts. And you know where you waste a lot of money on these crazy cell phone plans. They're all so expensive. I just dropped out of one that I was paying 150 bucks a month for and the service wasn't even that good. So with just 15 bucks a month. You can do it with Mint Mobile. All plans come with high speed data and unlimited talk and text delivered on the nation's largest 5G network.

[Marcus Parks]

Why overpay?

[Ed Larson]

Why spend too much when you can go to Mint Mobile? You know what I did with the money I saved when I joined Mint Mobile? I bought sandwiches. And you know what? I love sandwiches. And you know why I wasn't buying sandwiches before? Because sandwiches are more expensive than they've ever been. I've been making my own sandwiches, but now that I'm with Mint Mobile, I'm buying them again, baby. I don't even care how much they are. I'm going a nice fancy delis. I'm getting the pastrami and the corned beef all on one. You know why? Because I saved money with Mint Mobile. So this year, skip breaking a sweat and breaking the bank. Get your summer savings and shop premium wires [e-mail] lpotl that's mintmobile.com lpotl upfront payment of $45 for 3 month 5 gigabyte plan required equivalent to $15 per month new customer offer for the first 3 then full price plan options available, taxes and fees extra Z Mint Mobile.

[Dr. Patrick McGrath]

For details what if I told you that right now millions of people are living with a debilitating condition that's so misunderstood many of them don't even know that they have it. That condition is Obsessive compulsive disorder, or OCD. I'm Dr. Patrick McGrath, the chief clinical officer of NOCD, and in the 25 years I've been treating OCD, I've met so many people who are suffering from the condition in silence, unaware of just what it was. OCD can create overwhelming anxiety and fear around what you value most, make you question your identity, beliefs and morals, and drive you to perform mentally and physically draining compulsions or rituals. Over my career, I've seen just how devastating OCD can be when it's left untreated. But help is available. That's where NOCD comes in. NOCD is the world's largest virtual therapy provider for obsessive compulsive disorder. Our licensed therapists are trained in exposure and response prevention therapy, a specialized treatment proven to be incredibly effective for OCD. So visit nocd.com to schedule a free 15 minute call with our team. That's nocd.com now.

[Marcus Parks]

By early 1996, the year of the massacre, Martin's mother Carlene had finally recognized their son needed help. His moods were getting worse and his penchant for outlandish clothes like the electric blue Austin Power suits we mentioned last episode. Those were only isolating him further because the public found his fashion sense to be highly amusing.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Of course.

[Marcus Parks]

Yes.

[Ed Larson]

That's why I dress like that, by the way.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Way.

[Marcus Parks]

Oh, yeah.

[Ed Larson]

I dress like an idiot to, like, disarm people.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah, it's so much better that way. I like being a character from a movie, but in real life.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. You just got to know that people are laughing at you. And I do it for them to do that.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, yeah, of course.

[Ed Larson]

Can't get upset about it.

[Marcus Parks]

No, no, that's the, that's the thing. You can't. I remember when I was in, you know, I was in junior high, but I bought this felt top hat that was like, got. Had a bunch of aliens on it and it was green and it was black and I wore it around the mall and got really mad when people laughed at me.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Of course. Because you're like, you don't fucking get the fact that I'm out of this town. Me and my hat are going to the big city and I'm gonna learn to tap and everybody's gonna pay tickets to see me run and dance and sing.

[Marcus Parks]

But that's the. It. It is the reaction of a child. It's the reaction of a 13 year old. And you know, Martin Bryant's having this exact Same reaction at 25 and of course is having homicidal thoughts while he's having that reaction.

[Henry Zabrowski]

That's the main difference.

[Marcus Parks]

Yes.

[Ed Larson]

Remember those gutter punks we had living with us?

[Henry Zabrowski]

Oh, I remember.

[Ed Larson]

And we had that one lady who would always chew. You know, the one who had the dirty tattoo gun and couldn't get hired as a tattoo artist.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Well, she was the one that said that she didn't need to pay rent because she could just tattoo us.

[Marcus Parks]

Yes.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. And we never took her up on that. And I still regret that.

[Henry Zabrowski]

The only reason why is because it.

[Marcus Parks]

Was, you know, hepatitis C would have done wonders for your career.

[Henry Zabrowski]

That is really what I needed is some. That Pete Davidson extra. But. But Eddie, remember the problem with her is that she sort of looked like you but with little angel wings on her.

[Ed Larson]

I know, but that's the thing. I remember she was wearing those angel wings at Publix and she got mad when someone like, said something to her. It's like, you're wearing angel wings in public.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

You're gonna get comments.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Maybe.

[Marcus Parks]

Well, Martin also started drinking heavily, grossly focusing on straight Bailey's Irish Cream.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Cool.

[Marcus Parks]

Or Sambuca. All While he listened to the same albums over and over or watched the same TV shows or movies. Movies continuously.

[Henry Zabrowski]

He's like James Gandolfini.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, what is it? What did James Gandolfini. Did he just listen to the same thing over and over?

[Henry Zabrowski]

Just any of all the Sambuca.

[Marcus Parks]

Oh.

[Ed Larson]

Oh, yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

Oh, the Sambuca. No, I thought.

[Ed Larson]

I'm sure Steely Dan is.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, yeah. James Gandolfini only listen to the Bee Gees. Well, primarily, Martin loved the stylings of 1960s British pop icon Cliff Richard. He. Cliff Richard never broke through in the United States. He's kind of a bland combination of Neil diamond and Tom Jones. Also had some very bland soft rock hits in the 80s. But Martin Bryant's favorite album was the soundtrack to the Lion King, which either proves his subnormal intelligence or proves that music taste has absolutely nothing to do with violent behavior.

[Ed Larson]

I just bought it on vinyl.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. And you're not violent at all.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Oh, God. Between this and your boys, the boys you collect for the stream.

[Marcus Parks]

That's fine. No, he's just trying.

[Ed Larson]

Always boys. They're just, you know, they're usually. They're definitely children.

[Marcus Parks]

Yes.

[Henry Zabrowski]

What are you gonna DJ with this shit?

[Marcus Parks]

He's gonna listen to it at his home for pleasure.

[Ed Larson]

Yes. I also bought Beauty and the Beast.

[Marcus Parks]

Now, that's a. That's a wonderful soundtrack.

[Ed Larson]

Unbelievable.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. You know, it's underrated. Little Mermaid.

[Ed Larson]

Oh, it's next on my list.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I don't know, guys. I don't know.

[Marcus Parks]

No. Imagine getting super stone dropping the needle on.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I just do it in my own head. Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

I like, look at this stuff. Isn't it neat?

[Henry Zabrowski]

I know. I've seen you do this all. You did it in karaoke for Julie's birthday.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's my wife.

[Marcus Parks]

Well, as far as movies went, Martin had a massive VHS collection of over 1300 tapes. But while he did love action movies like Steven Seagal's Undersea Cool, Jackie Chan's the Protector, I like him. Now, his favorite movie of all was the pig centric Talking Animal Vehicle Babe.

[Ed Larson]

Okay, so, like, what am I supposed to do here?

[Henry Zabrowski]

Like, you are this guy. You and him. If you just met him and, like, if you were in a speed dating, like, event, and you both just had to list the things that you guys both love. Your favorite things. This is your best friend.

[Ed Larson]

Do you like talking pigs?

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah, you better believe. You better fucking believe. I do. You better believe. I love James Cromwell's arthritic H. I.

[Ed Larson]

Literally wore out the tape on My Under Siege.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Wow. I see, I did. Wow.

[Marcus Parks]

I feel like you're the kind of guy that like had Babe on VHS and then upgraded to DVD and then now own it on Blu Ray.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I wish when you buried the VHS outside where you're like, that'll do VHS. That or done.

[Marcus Parks]

Well, that same year 1996, Martin did find a companion, despite all his talk of loneliness.

[Henry Zabrowski]

See guys, that's all you gotta do.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, and the way he found her I think tells you that he was far more in control of his faculties than one might expect. Now I'm sure that the paper helped him out with this, but Martin still had the wherewithal to place a personal ad. Oh well, it read in a surprisingly sane tone quote, lady companion for scuba.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Diving, tennis, camping and wining and dining for an attractive, slim, caring 29 year old male. Genuine replies only, please.

[Marcus Parks]

See, it sounds sane.

[Ed Larson]

Oh yeah, definitely, yeah, I'd fall for it.

[Henry Zabrowski]

You see, I do see him typing in a big cartoony like typewriter while he's talking to a bird that's like kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill. He's like, no, soon, very, very soon.

[Marcus Parks]

Martin got exactly one reply from a 20 year old horticultural student named Petra Wilmot.

[Henry Zabrowski]

That's all you need.

[Marcus Parks]

Or Petra, Petra Wilmot. Surprisingly, she had a way with Martin just like Helen had. But while she said Martin was gentle and kind with her, he became irritable and aggressive anytime they were around other people. The weirdest incident in their relationship though, considering what Martin would soon do was when he and Petra went to see Casino. According to Petra, Martin had to leave after he got queasy during the scene where De Niro. You know that scene where De Niro has the car counter's fingers crushed with the hammer?

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

Also really bothered Martin. He got queasy, had to leave trigger finger.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Traumatized. You know, it could also literally be that's why these guys use these guns though.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Because they're very far from the action when you're using the guns.

[Marcus Parks]

That's true.

[Henry Zabrowski]

It's a distancing effect.

[Marcus Parks]

Well, as we'll see, he didn't. But people normally do.

[Ed Larson]

Normally.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, but even with the ups and downs, Petra moved in with Martin in 1996 and she would still be living with him when Martin perpetrated the massacre a few months later. Now as far as why Martin did what he did, there doesn't seem to be a single event in his life that fully inspired the mass murder. A personal event rather. It seems like the massacre was an idea that slowly developed over time because Martin did tell investigators after his arrest that he'd been planning on doing something like this for a couple of years. For Martin's later testimony though, while the idea was just sort of floating around the whole time he was buying his guns, the idea began to actually crystallize after Martin became obsessed with two true crime stories that occurred in Australia and the UK respectively in 1996. The first occurred in the early part of the year when an 8 year old boy was kidnapped in a scheme masterminded by a career criminal named Jeffrey Peter Radloff. Directing a crew of three, including himself, Radloff told his guys to abduct the boy from his home in the middle of the night and take him to a hotel. The henchmen, however, panicked almost immediately because they believed the police were onto them. So they dumped their abductee in the middle of the street just 18 hours after the kidnapping, before the ransom had a chance to go through.

[Henry Zabrowski]

See, I see this as some form of. This is a plot to a film that none of us will ever see.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

This is literally Problem Child four where they, they kidnapped the most able, evil, strong willed and cunning child possible.

[Marcus Parks]

It's Problem Child meets Home Alone, meets Clifford.

[Henry Zabrowski]

And that somehow there was a worse boy. Yeah. Than Martin Bryan. And they found him.

[Marcus Parks]

Yep.

[Henry Zabrowski]

And they had a. Bag him and release him. They literally were like, this is actually too hot for my blood. He's. He grew in the headquarters. Yeah. He flooded my grandmother's house.

[Marcus Parks]

Where did he get a crossbow from? Now, Martin was obsessed with this kidnapping case. Such was his fascination that when he was arrested for the massacre, he recognized one of the detectives who'd worked the crime. And Martin treated him like a celebrity. In what was, I'm sure a chilling statement to the officer, Martin told him that the kidnapping had partially inspired Martin to commit his crimes because the case had given him the idea to kidnap someone after the shooting to use as a hostage. But the incident that inspired Martin far more than the kidnapping case was a mass shooting that occurred in March of 1996 at a primary school in the Scottish town of Dunblane. There, a disgruntled 43 year old former scoutmaster named Thomas Watt Hamilton murdered 16 children and a teacher with two 9 millimeter pistols and two 357 revolvers while 12 other kids and three other teachers were wounded. Like Martin Bryant, Thomas Hamilton was a local misfit who was nicknamed Spock by the adults in Dumblane because of his otherworldly demeanor. But to the kids, Thomas Hamilton was Simply known as Mr. Creepy.

[Ed Larson]

Dr. Creepy, please.

[Marcus Parks]

I didn't go to 10 years of creepy medical school at Duke University to be called Mr. Dukey University, please.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah, the Kaka College. I also see a lot of Scout masters killing a bunch of people and I think, think partially, you know, why? Little scarves.

[Marcus Parks]

You think the little.

[Henry Zabrowski]

The anger brought upon by little scarves.

[Marcus Parks]

Do you think that you saying the little scarves cut off the air supply and it caused some sort of, like, hypoxia?

[Henry Zabrowski]

I think they press on some kind of neck nerve or something. Like, you ever see Dennis Raider in his full Scoutmaster uniform sitting there when his high knee socks. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, you could just tell that he wants to just choke a boy till he comes. He's just sitting on top of that, waiting to do it.

[Ed Larson]

It's interesting that so many Scout leaders, because all those Cub Scouts, they're armed, you know, they all got tiny little belly popper knives.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

But, you know, I feel like they like the challenge.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. Well, Hamilton had been obsessed with running youth clubs for boys throughout his life, ever since he'd been fired from the Scouts for extreme incompetence as a young man. Well, he just kind of showed up and was like, so where are the tents? I don't know.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Well, you mean tents? Yeah. What a tent.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, but what's a river? But Hamilton also displayed other extremely inappropriate behaviors, like his penchant for taking photos of little boys in swim trunks and plastering the walls of his home with the prince.

[Henry Zabrowski]

See, this is just me charting their experiences and mostly just seeing them grow from the littlest version of themselves to the tightest, biggest version of a boy version of themselves. And I like to kind of see how the years change their torsos. It's completely normal. I like to see how their feet grow. I like to see the hair sprout on their prepubescent legs.

[Ed Larson]

I wouldn't have to make it myself if they just sold it to me.

[Henry Zabrowski]

They won't take it. Can't there be a store for me?

[Marcus Parks]

So after Hamilton was denied the privilege of running yet another boys Club in 1995, which he blamed on rumors spread by the local police and the Boy Scouts, he was a pedo.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Those are who should be spreading those rumors, by the way. Those who should be saying those words. It's not like it's just from Mary down the street. No, the police are telling people he's a pedophile. Yeah, yeah.

[Ed Larson]

That's an investigation.

[Marcus Parks]

After that, Hamilton snapped and killed 16 children just a month and a half before Martin Bryant carried out the Port Arthur massacre.

[Henry Zabrowski]

You see, you see a pedophile killing kids like this at any other place? No, I don't think so. I, I don't want to k so much. I want to shoot him from far away. And I certainly don't want to suck them.

[Ed Larson]

Oh God, I don't want to suck them.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I'd be doing it right.

[Marcus Parks]

I'd be doing it unstable. Yeah, sounds like an unstable man.

[Henry Zabrowski]

It's Mr. Creepy to you.

[Marcus Parks]

But like Australia, Great Britain passed legislation after the Dunblane massacre. They banned the private ownership of most handguns guns. And while there has been one mass shooting on what we'd call an American level in the UK since Dumb Lane, that would be the Cumbria massacre of 2010, Dumblane remains the worst mass shooting on record in the uk. They don't get new records year after year like we do.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Get those numbers up, guys.

[Marcus Parks]

Now, Thomas Hamilton perpetrated his massacre on March 13. And it seems like the attention Hamilton received directly inspired Martin Bryant to finally carry out the massacre he'd been planning over the previous two years, pretty much ever since his father died. See, just a week before Port Arthur, Martin ran into an old neighbor of his grandmother at the local supermarket. Now, it's hard to say how the conversation got to this point, but this neighbor said that Martin told her that nobody ever wanted to listen to him or go with him and he was getting fed up with it. So he was going to do something that would make everybody remember him. Or at least that's what the neighbor claimed he said. Now, one can make the argument that we're giving Martin exactly what he wants by doing this series. But that misses the whole point of why we cover these people. We don't talk about Martin Bryant solely because he killed 35 people. We talk about him because he's a fantastically weird loser. And hiding him in the shadows and treating him like a mythical monster only makes us more afraid of people like him. And meanwhile, Martin gets to be remembered only as a gun toting mass murderer instead of the pathetic fucking dud that he actually was. Now, as far as why Martin Bryant chose Port Arthur as his target, the reason seemed to be twofold. Firstly, Port Arthur was a popular tourist destination because it still had a massive British penal colony. It was one of just 11 left in Australia. The penitentiary was called the Port Arthur Historic Site. And Martin knew that if you went there on a Sunday, there would be more than enough people around both the parking lot and inside the site's Cafe to maximize the body count. The second reason why Martin chose Port Arthur was because this had been the site of what he considered to be his father's greatest humiliation. If you'll remember, Maurice Bryant had planned to buy a bed and breakfast called Seascape in Port Arthur and had even sold Martin Bryant's childhood home to make the sale. But two people named Sally and David Martin had scooped the property up from under Maurice. And Martin Bryant had convinced himself in the intervening years that Sally and David had bought Seascape for the sole reason of spiting his father. Bryant then extrapolated that imagined spite and used it as the reason behind the depression that led to his father's suicide. In other words, Martin Bryant blamed Sally and David for his father's death. So he therefore decided that their deaths would be the perfect starting point for the massacre.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Again, this is an entire. You really could make a horror movie about. What about Bob of the movie? What about Bob? That is this entire plot.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

There is a lot here that talks up that reminds me of Bob Wiley. I've been thinking about him a lot recently. Yeah, my favorite, when he goes to the mental institution and everybody loves him.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

You know, he's telling all the jokes where he goes to the guy, you know, I love all the jokes.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

He tells all the insane asylum.

[Ed Larson]

I mean, this also, like, I have to say, like, I didn't realize that this was where this all took place. I was. When we went to Australia last year, I literally was like, Julie and I were trying to decide if we're going to go to Tasmania or Sydney afterwards. And I was like, oh, this fucking.

[Henry Zabrowski]

This president.

[Ed Larson]

Port Arthur looks cool. You know, like, I literally wanted to go there not knowing it was the site of this fucking crazy thing. So I see why people are drawn to it.

[Henry Zabrowski]

You have all of Martin Bryant's favorite things. You were drawn to the Port Arthur. You didn't even know that the massacre was there. You had brought your home guns with you to Australia so you could sleep.

[Ed Larson]

Yes.

[Henry Zabrowski]

You're real close.

[Ed Larson]

Real close. I mean, I used to own a assault rifle, but you barely.

[Henry Zabrowski]

You barely used it.

[Ed Larson]

I did barely use it.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, you're right.

[Ed Larson]

I only used it a handful of times at a shooting range. Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

You never killed a bunch of people with it.

[Ed Larson]

Thank you, Henry.

[Marcus Parks]

It's important that we make that distinction. And so on the morning of April 28, 1996, Martin left the farm for Port Arthur, telling his live in girlfriend Petra that he had something to do and wouldn't be back till the next Day. Now, even though Martin didn't have a driver's license, he had bought a yellow Volvo and he knew how to drive. So Martin loaded his Volvo first with handcuffs and rope for the eventual hostage or hostages, along with a hunting knife and several cans of gasoline for the eventual burning of the Seascape bed and breakfast. Then Martin loaded in a duffel bag filled with his incredibly powerful collection of guns, including his AR15, a.308 semiautomatic rifle and a 12 gauge shotgun. He would have brought more, but Martin was so excited about what he was about to do that he actually left his AR10 behind.

[Henry Zabrowski]

This is where this incident is very different than a lot of the other mass shooters that you'd cover or things that we've heard about in the past. Like I'll always kind of remember, you know, Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold doing that pump up video. They made a video where they were pumping each other up before doing it. And it was like real dark and they're all like, you know, we're coming for all you fucks. And then you have Anders Bravik, who was this military 10, to view this as his solemn way of changing society.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, Sung Cho, like just brooding, brooding Elliot. Roger. But making his videos, you know, like it's, it's very. Yeah, it's always like a very broody Martin Bryant.

[Henry Zabrowski]

It is. I mean, it is. Doing the whole thing. He's literally just singing Lion King's theme. So excited. Going, kissing his gun, being like, hey, don't sleep too hard. You can be waking up soon. All right, time to go. Having fun. He was.

[Marcus Parks]

It's extreme enthusiasm so much that he.

[Ed Larson]

Was so excited he forgot part of his stuff.

[Henry Zabrowski]

He was just like, oh, my God, I've got to go.

[Ed Larson]

I just.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Ow. You know, like when you're ready for vacation, dude.

[Ed Larson]

The same thing happened to me when I asked Julie to marry me. I was so concerned that I was gonna forget the ring that I forgot my wallet and she had to pay for everything all night.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Just like Martin Bryant.

[Ed Larson]

Listen, we can make comparisons.

[Henry Zabrowski]

You already got the cops watching me. You also have a really long hair.

[Ed Larson]

I did. I had beautiful hair. My hair was nicer than his.

[Marcus Parks]

It was, yeah. But once Martin had all his tools of death and destruction loaded up, he took a few swigs of Sambuka and headed towards Port Arthur, located less than 50km south, with the full intent of killing as many people as possible. Now, Martin was full of contradictions on the day of the massacre. While he later said that he fully intended to die either by suicide or by cop. That day, he still went to great lengths to establish a sort of bizarre alibi on his way to the historic site. Once he arrived in the town of Port Arthur, Martin began a small tour of the gas stations that were on the road to the site. He arrived at the first station at 10:30am and wandered around the grounds for about an hour before going inside to buy a lighter and commenting loudly about the big plans he had for surfing that afternoon.

[Henry Zabrowski]

You know me bringing my cigarettes to the ocean.

[Marcus Parks]

That's my favorite.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Hanging down and smoking a butt. All right, can I have nine lighters, please?

[Marcus Parks]

Ten minutes later, Martin stopped at another gas station where he talked about the same thing.

[Henry Zabrowski]

My tomato can and me are going on to the surfboard, having fun with the fish and the flounder. Having fun.

[Marcus Parks]

He did actually buy a can of tomato sauce. It. That's the only thing he bought.

[Henry Zabrowski]

This is all I need. I bring it out there, poured on the coral. Hey, love. He makes Italian.

[Marcus Parks]

Then he finally stopped at a third station to buy coffee and $15 worth of gas. Again, going on and on about the surfing.

[Henry Zabrowski]

There's a little part of me that also thinks that he was doing this because. Because he kind of. He knows criminals make alibis.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

He's not present like he is of. He's deeply mentally, like, way like he is. But I will say he also knows a lot more than he knows.

[Marcus Parks]

But he knows the difference between right and wrong.

[Henry Zabrowski]

He definitely. But it's like he's so. He's such a wackadoo cartoon character at this point that he literally is just like, wait, I thought, I'm gonna be a big time criminal. I need to set up my alibi.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

And then just go, go and does it like it's a chapter in a video game.

[Ed Larson]

Wasn't he also, like, obsessed with, like, pretending to know how to search?

[Marcus Parks]

Yes, he was.

[Ed Larson]

One of the things, like, he always, like, he was such a. He was a poser.

[Marcus Parks]

He always had that yellow Volvo. He always had a surfboard on the rack up top, but didn't know how to surf at all.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

And he always dressed it like one of his, like, costumes was like a very, like, I guess you would call it like a version of the surfer dude, but it would be very exaggerated and he would, like, talk in, like, the surfer dude, like, voice.

[Ed Larson]

Well, that's like all the clothes in Australia.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

Only shop at Billabong.

[Marcus Parks]

Billabong.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah, Billabong. I believe it's the name of their prime Minister.

[Marcus Parks]

It'S speculated that, as you said, Martin was trying to create an alibi to get away with the shooting, even though he wasn't planning on covering his face that day, which is, again, a contradiction towards his previous alleged statements that he was committing this heinous act so people would remember him. Why would you create an alibi if you want to be remembered? But as we know, Martin wasn't too bright. So I suppose he believed that stopping at three gas stations instead of one would only strengthen his alibi that he was actually surfing that day instead of killing 35 people. It's also speculated that Martin Bryant may have been delaying the massacre, hoping that someone would give him a reason to not go through with it. But I don't think that was the case at all. Instead, I think that Bryant really was thinking that when he was captured, he was going to say that he was surfing all day. And if you didn't believe him, all you had to do was go ask the three gas station attendants that he loudly and aggressively talked to to that morning.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I wonder if there is a psychological term for that idea of sort of that empty movement, because I do think it's obviously not good. It's like, it's not a good.

[Marcus Parks]

Magical thinking.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

Is part of it. And that's a narcissistic term.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

Keeping your options open. Maybe.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I don't know.

[Ed Larson]

You know, no idea.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I could kind of see. I could kind of see that, like, maybe I won't kill everybody today. Like, maybe it's like, maybe this is just a fantasy I'm gonna have. Maybe this is all a thing.

[Ed Larson]

And then.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Then. But as we've seen with many mass killers and serial killers, they set up all the circumstances where then. Now I'm doing it despite myself.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

And also, he could just be an idiot. And.

[Henry Zabrowski]

And he's a mean. He's a mean sociopathic. It's like, that's what we always kind of talk about. Dumb.

[Marcus Parks]

Mean.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Brings a lot to the yard.

[Ed Larson]

If he really would have, like, truly, like, step by step planned this, he might not have done it. You know, he might not have been.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Successful if he was cogent enough to really think about how to do it. Because he's not at the. Because I view him as, again, he's in the chaotic evil category, like Anders Bravic, lawful evil category, almost in that way where, like, Anders Bravic planned to an nth in order to copy this massacre. Like, he took this as a plan that he took from a moron, which is kind of. Now you think about it. It's kind of hilarious in a way where it's like he took his perfect, perfect terrorist plan from a babbling idiot.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. Now, as I said, Martin's main reason for choosing Port Arthur was so he could begin the massacre by killing David and Sally Martin, the owners of the Seascape Bed and Breakfast. So after Martin made his gas station tour, he drove his yellow Volvo to the inn, parked behind the building, and knocked on the back door. Sally Martin answered and actually recognized Martin from all those years before. But because as I said, Martin Bryant was not a character you were likely to forget even over a decade later, Sally listened to Martin ramble on and on about how he and his girlfriend needed a room for the night. So she said, fine, yes, you can have the room, whatever. She led him up the stairs while Martin followed carrying his duffel bag full of guns. Once in the room, Martin asked how David was referring to Sally's husband. Sally replied that he was downstairs making breakfast, which was the beginning of the celebration of his 72nd birthday birthday. Sally then left. So Martin pulled his AR15 from his duffel and followed her downstairs. Sally and David Martin were naturally stunned when they were faced with the sight of a large assault rifle. But Bryant told them that this was just a robbery and immediately put gags in Sally and David's mouths before taking them to their bedroom, where he ordered them to lie down on their bed. Once he had them where he wanted them, Martin put a pillow over David's head first and fired, killing him instantly. Then he did the same with Sally. She, however, survived the initial shot. So Martin rolled her over and fatally put a bullet in her chest. And with that, the Port Arthur massacre had begun.

[Henry Zabrowski]

This is also where, you see, he could plan. And he did know.

[Marcus Parks]

Oh, absolutely. At every point. Yeah, yeah. No, he, he, he planned. He knew he was nowhere near as incapacitated or disabled as some people try to make him out to be or.

[Henry Zabrowski]

He was trying to make himself out to be even later on.

[Marcus Parks]

Yes.

[Ed Larson]

Also, like, Tasmania is like a peaceful place.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Oh, very much. You know, Australia is.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. And so I think, like a lot of times, like at first I'm like, why didn't these people do anything? Why do they just sit there and take it? They don't understand the concept of someone might murder them. It's not Bed Stuy, you know, like, like they happen.

[Marcus Parks]

Head's not on a swivel like it is in Americ America.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Because they don't need to be. And they didn't know the sound of distant Gunfire. They don't know what it sounds like. The same thing happened with Anders Breivik. It does not make you a brave culture warrior to shoot a bunch of people that don't know it's fucking coming. Like, it's just they, it's. Yeah, yeah, you killed a bunch of people. It's because they were already in the park sitting there.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. Try it against the military.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I mean, don't, don't, you know, give it a shot. You give it a shot.

[Marcus Parks]

Now Martin had gotten quite bloody from the double murder. Murder. So he took a shower at the BNB and changed clothes. And for me, I don't know why, that's a, a chilling scene. It is, but it is, you know, it's. These two people are lying dead and he's taking a shower.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Oh. Because he, it's, it's just perfunctory.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

Using their soap and.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

He went straight from just, you know, even though he was building it. Those moments. But right before he shot them, he was just a normal guy.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

And then once you shoot two people there head, it's over for you. You're no longer that old guy anymore.

[Ed Larson]

You're not just a Lion King fan anymore.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Not anymore.

[Marcus Parks]

Well, at this point, Martin said he remembered the years he spent in Port Arthur as a kid where they'd all called him Silly Martin. In his mind it was their fault that he was alone, even though he had a fucking live in girlfriend. So all the talk about him being alone or whatever, that's just fucking horseshit.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah. I mean it's the same for all of these fucking pieces of shit.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. I mean, Martin, like most mass shooters, was just mad that he wasn't able to act however he wanted, whenever he wanted. Angry that the world didn't bend to his will at every turn and furious at the fact that living in the world and being accepted by people takes actual fucking effort. It's a two way street which shitheads like Elliot Roger never fucking understood. They all think the world fucking owes them something and they're so mad when they don't get the fucking payout.

[Ed Larson]

God, Elliot Roger is such a fucking loser. Imagine like being so lame name that you own a Ferrari and can't get laid.

[Henry Zabrowski]

You know, like it's so easy to do in Santa Barbara to get a Ferrari and get laid. Elliot Roger was such a. We did a whole thing. It's like, ah, yes, the supreme gentleman. You know, they're all, they're all losers. Because again, nobody's promised nothing in this life. No, except Like Jack Quaid. He's doing very well. That was. He's doing very well. He's a fan of the show. He's a friend of the show. You know, it's like, you know, but. But there are. There are people that are more equal than others.

[Marcus Parks]

Sure.

[Henry Zabrowski]

But you still got to deal with it, you know? I mean, look at Arnie Hammer. It didn't matter how many fucking clits he tried to bite.

[Ed Larson]

Yes.

[Henry Zabrowski]

All right. It was hard for a while.

[Ed Larson]

Silly army.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

Where are you going with this?

[Henry Zabrowski]

I'm just saying he had the whole genetic lottery in there and he still thought I should be able to chew on clits.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

And try to eat these bitches because I'm handsome and I'm rich and I'm powerful. And in the end, everyone's like, no, now he's got an apartment.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, it's sure.

[Ed Larson]

He's got more than an apartment.

[Henry Zabrowski]

He's fine.

[Ed Larson]

He's still like a billionaire.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. But no matter. Martin Bryant's real motivations. He left David and Sally's bodies where they had been killed and drove out to the Port Arthur historic site immediately. Bryant got into a confrontation with the toll booth attendant because Bryant didn't want to pay the $25 entry fee. But after causing a small scene, Martin forked over the cash and entered.

[Ed Larson]

And he's cheap.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

Aggravating.

[Henry Zabrowski]

One of the worst. One of his worst qualities. Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

Besides he also a hypocrite.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah. Worst thing you can be.

[Scott Aukerman]

This is Comedy Bang Bang, the podcast, the promo, and in 30 seconds, I'm going to tell you why. You should check out the show. I, the host, Scott Auction, have a lighthearted conversation with famous celebrities like Jon Hamm, Alison Williams, Phoebe Bridgers, Jason Alexander, Natasha Lyonne, Bob Odenkirk, just to name a few things. Go a little off the rails when different eccentric characters and oddballs drop by to be interviewed as well. Each week is a blend of conversations and character work from your favorite comedians as well as some new hilarious voices. Comedy Bang Bang the Podcast. Listen, listen. Every Monday, wherever you get your podcasts.

[Marcus Parks]

Instacart is here to keep you on the couch this basketball season. With pre game rituals and post game interviews, it's hard to find time for everything else. Let Instacart handle your game day snacks or weekly restocks with delivery in as fast as 30 minutes because it's bad.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Luck to be hungry on game day.

[Marcus Parks]

Download the Instacart app today and enjoy $0 delivery fees on your first three orders. Orders, service fees, apply for three orders in 14 days.

[Dr. Patrick McGrath]

Excludes restaurants.

[Marcus Parks]

Now, while it may seem like the massacre would be perpetrated by Martin stalking the grounds of the penitentiary, the majority of the mass shooting would take place at the historic site's restaurant, the Broad Arrow Cafe. Coincidentally, Martin's parents, Maurice and Carlene, had actually taken lunch at the Broad Arrow with Martin and Helen Harvey way back when. So Martin was quite familiar with the establishment. So at 1:30pm Martin Bryant carried his duffel bag full of guns into the cafe, bought a juice and a can of fruit, then sat down at a table outside where he ate and ruminated on what he was about to do. But Martin couldn't help but be an irritating person one last time. He began making strange comments to the people around him, saying to no one in particular how how bad the parking situation was at the site, remarking on the fact that there was. Boy, there sure are a lot of wasps around today. He met white Anglo Saxon Protestants, not like the actual wasps. But no one around him knew that that's what he meant. They thought he meant actual wasps. And they're like, I don't see any wasps around. Okay.

[Henry Zabrowski]

The concept of WASPs was around for, like three years in the 90s. Like, it's like one of those things. I remember a lot more in the 90s hearing the term WASPs. Now we're run by WASPs. I don't know if it's that, but I just. Funny because you still.

[Marcus Parks]

America's been run by WASPs since its founding.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. There used to be lots of, like, dirty jokes. Like, there was always, like, I remember my dirty joke books. There was always like a WASP chapter. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

But once Martin finished his juice and fruit cup, he walked back into the small, busy cafe and dropped his duffel bag on it. Start talking about the mass shooting. You're like.

[Ed Larson]

My smoothie's gone.

[Marcus Parks]

There's nothing either one of your fucking cops. And you're just sitting there.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I just want to do. It's like the serpent on it. I keep remaining forgetting from the prior Mania episode, though.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. Can I continue?

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yes.

[Marcus Parks]

Well, once Martin finished his juice and fruit cup, he walked back into the small, busy cafe and dropped his duffel bag on a table. Without a word, he pulled out his AR15 and began firing, punctuating the shots with his own laughter. Now the cafe patrons scattered, hiding behind tables and counters. Because while Martin had imagined that someone would have tried to stop him immediately, the people were too terrified and bewildered at the situation to do anything apart from one member of the Cafe staff. He threw a serving tray at Martin to try to distract him. But in moments like this, most people freeze.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Oh, yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

Contrary to what we might tell ourselves, when we think of what we would do if we were in the same situation. As such, Martin killed his first cluster of victims at close range, pressing the barrel against the heads and necks of each person before pulling the trigger, killing 12 in just the first 15 seconds of the massacre. But to show you how incredibly deadly these weapons are, While Martin fired 17 times in those first 15 seconds, the bullet fragments managed to wound a further 10 people, meaning those 17 shots. Shots had injured 22 people.

[Ed Larson]

So that's a total of 36 people.

[Marcus Parks]

No, no, no, no.

[Henry Zabrowski]

22 people are injured entirely with 17.

[Ed Larson]

Bullets and 12 people dead.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, well, it's 22 people were hit.

[Ed Larson]

Okay.

[Marcus Parks]

And 12 people are dead either way.

[Ed Larson]

It's fucking insane. Sorry that I'm, like, concentrating on the wrong part of this.

[Marcus Parks]

No, no, it's fine. No, it's at 10. 10. At this point, 12 are dead, 10 are wounded. With 17 bullets.

[Henry Zabrowski]

If you're not up against. Against drones and Navy seals, there's just no fucking reason for you to have this style of weapon.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. So. After his initial assault on the cafe, Bryant moved on to the gift shop, where more people were hiding under tables and behind shop displays. After killing the two women who worked there as well as a tourist, Bryant shot a woman as she tried running outside. He then returned to the cafe. There, Martin callously shot a man in the butt, probably because he thought it was funny, then opened fire on a group of five crowded near a locked door, killing three of them. The body count was now at 20, with 22 injured. But Martin wasn't yet done. After reloading and exiting the cafe, Bryant moved on to the tourist buses that were parked in front of the Broad Arrow, where he shot a bus driver in the back. Back. Bryant then began taking potshots at people from a distance, killing another tourist and wounding two more, including the cafe's kitchen manager, who'd been trying to direct people away from the gunfire. Tragically, most people who were there that day said that they thought that because of the site's history as a penal colony, the gunfire must have been a part of some historical reenactment. So many people were unfortunately slow to move. Move.

[Henry Zabrowski]

And also gunfire has a decidedly undramatic sound.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, it's just pop, pop, pop.

[Henry Zabrowski]

When you hear it, like, it's really. You expect a movie version, I think.

[Marcus Parks]

No, you expect a huge bang. A pal like, you expect what you hear in like Die Hard, but it's.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Like it's literally claps.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. But because people were confused about what was happening, Martin had plenty of time to walk over to his yellow Volvo to change guns. After switching to his.308 semi automatic rifle, he returned to the tourist buses and visited each one by one, killing people both on board and outside as he entered and exited each bus. Finally, Bryant made his way back to his Volvo and pulled out of the parking lot. And while some say he was firing his gun as he drove off, others who I'm more inclined to believe said that Martin honked and waved as he almost casually pulled away.

[Henry Zabrowski]

That is just, there's just something about that.

[Marcus Parks]

No, that's, that's extra. That is extra. I mean it's again it's like you're saying like it is a cartoon. It's, it's this incongruous image because it is very cartoonish.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah. Because I want to joke, but it's.

[Marcus Parks]

Also extraordinarily tragic and insane and disturbing at the same time because I'm going.

[Henry Zabrowski]

By, yeah, like as he leaves, like you know, because you know he's singing be prepared this whole time.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

And it's all Ronin and like they're all like good. They must just be. I mean obviously there's forward by it.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. But again, Martin was nowhere near dark done. As he drove towards the exit toll booth, he pulled alongside another car. As that car stopped. Switching Back to the AR15, Bryant ordered the people inside the other car to get out and lay on the ground. This car was being driven by a mother and her two children, ages 6 and 3. After Bryant killed the mother, the kids tried running. Bryant, however pitiless as ever, chased them into a grove of trees nearby high and killed both kids by firing into their heads point blank. Continuing again towards the toll booth, Bryant pulled up behind a gold BMW driven by a local who was taking three visiting friends to see the sights. Bryant murdered all of them one by one, then transferred most of his guns and ammo from the Volvo to the BMW. But Martin had such an arsenal that he still had plenty of firepower left, even after leaving behind the unused shotgun and 400 rounds of ammo.

[Henry Zabrowski]

He spent something like 150 grand, like it was some wild amount of money, especially back then.

[Ed Larson]

Oh yeah, in Australia money.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. Incredibly though, he didn't stop to murder the toll booth attendant that he got into a fight with earlier.

[Ed Larson]

The only person he actually argued with.

[Henry Zabrowski]

You know why? It's because that guy won that Fight. Yeah, you know what? Actually, I messed with you.

[Marcus Parks]

Now, Martin made his way towards the Seascape bed and Breakfast to make his final stand. But inspired by the kidnapping story we spoke of earlier, Martin still wanted to take a hostage. So before reaching Seascape, Bryant swerved into a gas station and jumped out of the stolen BMW with his AR15 in hand. After approaching a Toyota Corolla, he ordered the passengers, a man named Glenn Pears and a woman named Zoe Hawkins, outside. Glenn Pears got out voluntarily, perhaps hoping to save his companion. But after Martin pushed Glen into the trunk of the stolen BMW, he still shot and killed Zoe Hall. And so, with the hostage in his trunk, Martin drove to Seascape, firing at other cars on the road along the way. Now, what happened next tells you a lot about the friendliness of Australians. Because when Martin pulled up at Seascape with Glenn Pears in the trail trunk, a car full of hopeful hunters pulled in behind him because they'd seen Martin with his gun and they were hoping to join him for some rabbit hunting. Martin, of course, opened fire on the car, but thankfully, only injured the driver. But thankfully, only injured the driver. And when another car filled with people stopped to see what the fuck was going on, Martin sprayed them with bullets as well. The second car drove off and stopped down the road, where they tried warning other drivers that there was a madman with a gun. Back that away. One stubborn couple, however, who seemed to have reservations at the Seascape bnb, ignored the warnings and drove past.

[Henry Zabrowski]

We're on vacation. Yeah. I'm sorry, but we're from Cleveland. We've come a long way, and we're gonna go on vacation. All right?

[Ed Larson]

Do you know where we're from? It's spring.

[Marcus Parks]

I don't know. Maybe. If they were. If they were Americans, they might have been like, a guy with a gun.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Fine, let him see my gun.

[Marcus Parks]

But when that couple pulled into the driveway, Martin shot at them as well and hit the driver. That driver finally heeded the warnings and sped away. Now, after dragging his hostage inside the bed and breakfast, Martin handcuffed Glenn Pears to a stairwell that was in full view of the bedroom where Martin's first victims of the day, David and Sally Martin, were lying dead. Later, Martin told his lawyer that he thought that he'd be in less trouble if he had a hostage, I suppose because he thought he could use him as a bargaining chip.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Again, it sounds like a movie idea. It sounds like he had an idea from watching movies about criminals, and he says criminals take hostages. That's what they do.

[Marcus Parks]

But Martin also said in true Martin form that he mostly wanted a hostage so he'd have someone to talk to while he waited for the police to come and get him, thereby forcing one more person into being his companion in the most aggressive way possible.

[Henry Zabrowski]

People say I am a lot. Okay. I have a lot of people call me an intense person. They say come out with somebody with a lot of energy. But I'm going to let you all know, I let you go.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, yeah, eventually, eventually.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Chili, when I'm done.

[Marcus Parks]

Now. Bryant set the stolen BMW on fire just for fun, right before the cop showed up. But as soon as the authorities arrived, an extended 18 hour shootout began. Glenn Peirs, however, only lasted a few hours before Martin was done with him. For reasons unknown, Martin shot Pears in the head, making him the last victim victim of the Port Arthur massacre. The cops, however, didn't know that Martin's hostage was dead. Nor did they know how many hostages he had or even how many shooters there were. At this point, Bryant moved from room to room, firing at the cops from different windows made it look like there was maybe three or four guys in there. So the police chose to hold their fire for fear they might accidentally kill an innocent person inside.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, it's a bed and breakfast. It could be. Who knows how many people are in there.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Oh yeah, he could have, he could be a full house and he's got everybody at gunpoint.

[Marcus Parks]

But just after 7:30am, after an all night standoff, Martin fired 10 shots from an upstairs window just after smoke started pouring out. Perhaps finally growing bored with the situation, Martin had intentionally set the room on fire, which was the same room where he was storing all his ammunition. His bullets therefore began exploding and within 20 minutes the fire had spread throughout the upstairs region of the bm. An hour later, Martin rushed out of the house unarmed and naked, having stripped his clothes off after they'd caught fire.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I mean, it's a hard. He's so used to that. Yeah, is it one thing he knows how to handle?

[Marcus Parks]

This is actually the third or fourth time he set himself on fire.

[Ed Larson]

So he knew what to do.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah, yeah, he's just like, don't worry, I'll have this under control. He's like fully burning.

[Marcus Parks]

Well, after falling to his knees, the police rushed Martin Bryant and handcuffed, left him. Thus ending the deadliest mass shooting in Australian history. And when police searched Martin's home, they found ammunition and guns hidden in every nook and cranny, stashed in cupboards, inside bags above the stove, inside two pianos he had two pianos filled with bullets.

[Henry Zabrowski]

You see, that's what I could see him having. The coat with tails and the top hat just going like, it's time for my final performance.

[Ed Larson]

This one's called Bang, Bang Goes the Trolley.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Horrible song for the day.

[Marcus Parks]

He had thousands of rounds for each of his guns in addition to scopes, cases, straps, and various bandoliers. To me, this shows that his girlfriend and his mother were either willfully ignorant of what was going on, or they were scared to death of Martin. Tellingly, Carlene later said that when she was watching the news at the Port Arthur massacre unfold, but before Martin was captured, she had a distinct feeling that her son was responsible. Carlene even called Martin's girlfriend Petra, who also said, yeah, sounds like Martin.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Oh, there's a mass shooting. Yeah, that's my boyfriend. Yeah, it's his style. Yeah, it's one of those things about him I always kind of figure, but, you know, fixer uppers.

[Marcus Parks]

But concerning Martin in custody, he refused to talk to anyone for a full two months after the massacre. In the meantime, though, police put together no less than 200 witnesses who were all ready to condemn Martin should he choose to plead not guilty. When Martin did finally talk, he was evasive and disrespectful, laughing his way through the interviews while sometimes talking in a sing songy voice.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Oh, yeah. And he did stuff like they would say, you know, you killed like this many people. Like, you should, you know, like this many. And he'd be like, that many. Wow. Oh, really? Did he not. And then, like, they were. They're just kind of baffled, like, sitting there talking them. But then his lawyer developed this, like.

[Marcus Parks]

Well before his lawyer even came, like the cops were asking him questions and he would say, it's like all into that, but I don't have my law.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah, I don't have.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, it just. Just doesn't make. It's like not. It's a cartoon character again.

[Ed Larson]

So I can't believe they.

[Henry Zabrowski]

They didn't like, beat the living.

[Ed Larson]

That's like crazy, crazy restraint. I honestly, they could have done it.

[Henry Zabrowski]

You know what it is is that, yes, it's horrific. It's. It's fucking nauseating. But you also are like, he's definitely mentally handicapped. So there's like a feeling when you're watching him do this and you're like, you know, obviously something's got to be done with this guy.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Like, this guy is not. Not going anywhere else but a concrete square. But he is not of sound minds. And so it is. It's kind of all over the place. What do you do with him? He's like an innocent old yeller is ass. I mean, you know, that's just. That's how they do it over there.

[Ed Larson]

You know, and we barely do it like that here. It's just crazy because I hate capital punishment, but it's like the world is better without this man. Yeah, of course.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, of course. Yeah. Just the problem is that you just can't trust the state to make the right decision.

[Henry Zabrowski]

No, I hate the state. So the state's wrong. The state is always, like, wrong sometimes. So you have to be careful.

[Marcus Parks]

Now, Martin's first lawyer quit pretty quickly on moral grounds. But it also seems like Martin Bryant was, predictably, an absolutely infuriating client on many levels. Despite a bevy of witnesses and hard evidence, Martin steadfastly denied that he was the perpetrator here, claiming that he hadn't even even been to Port Arthur in years. Initially, when the inspector interrogating Martin described the people who were murdered, Martin faked shock like, can't believe that happened me. But he then asked how many people died altogether, obviously wanting more details about his crimes. Martin and the inspector went around in circles for hours, with Martin admitting to some crimes, but not others. And sometimes the crimes that he would admit to were in the middle of the other crimes that he would say that he had nothing to do with. For example, he. He would cop to stealing the BMW and kidnapping Glenn Paris, but then he would deny that he held Glenn hostage or that he burned down the Seascape bnb.

[Ed Larson]

Oh, he was just having fun with these people.

[Marcus Parks]

Possibly.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah, I think that he was. He liked having people to talk to.

[Ed Larson]

He's extending this chaotic moment for as long as humanly possible.

[Marcus Parks]

Absolutely.

[Henry Zabrowski]

That is absolutely correct, because, again, they're all paying attention. This is all he's ever wanted, is have everybody look at him and ask him questions and want him to know what he thinks and want to know what he does. He doesn't want to be over.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, the crimes in this town are probably like, at worst, shoplifting.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. The inspector repeated to Martin over and over again that he was going to be charged with 35 murders and 23 attempted murders. But Martin, either facetiously or ignorantly, kept asking the inspector how many months, not how many years these crimes would get him. But once Martin believed that the interviews were over, over, I suppose, thinking it was safe to say whatever he wanted, Martin finally stated, quote, I'm sure you'll.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Find the person who caused all of this me.

[Marcus Parks]

Direct quote. That's exactly what he said. Right.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I'll do it. I'll do it again.

[Marcus Parks]

He then said that it was a pleasure talking with the inspector and he hoped that he would have have many more people to talk to.

[Ed Larson]

They could have like easily given him way more attempted murders. You could give him attempted murder for every person who was just in the park that day.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah, but then it's like they do things different. They every. Cuz in America we do.

[Ed Larson]

We don't do that in America.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Sometimes we do, depending on what it's.

[Ed Larson]

Just everyone who was shot, usually, you know, but it's like you might as well if you're shooting a gun in a mall, anyone who's in the mall, as far as I'm concerned, that's attempted murder.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, I agree.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I think you're right.

[Ed Larson]

Thank you.

[Marcus Parks]

Now, Martin's second lawyer, John Avery, said that he had some sympathy for Bryant upon meeting him because Martin was still bandaged from his burns and manacled to a wheelchair. That sympathy, however, soon evaporated because Martin was just as evasive and infuriating with his lawyer as he was with the inspector. See, Martin, even after making his earlier admission, you'll find who did it made me. He was still maintaining his innocence, floating one easily disproved alibi after another just to see if anything would stick. At one point, Bryant even tried claiming that he was out of the country altogether on the day of the massacre, all while his lawyer patiently explained that there were hundreds of witnesses ready to testify to the contrary. But finally, lawyer John Avery told Martin that he wouldn't represent him if Martin continued to plead any innocence. And eventually Martin agreed. It still, however, took three extremely long and tedious meetings with Bryant, totaling 20 hours before he finally admitted the truth to his lawyer, his extraordinarily patient lawyer.

[Henry Zabrowski]

He just knew because they were trying to save the 200 people they were going to need to bring in as witnesses to the trial. And at first, Martin Bryant wanted the trial because he was so excited. He said this to his lawyer. I want them to pick me out. I want them to sit on the stand. I want them to point at me and tell them it's me. I want everyone to do like. He wanted that pain. He wanted to feel the pain of all of it and watch them all cry and scream.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. And he wanted to have the entire thing recounted to him.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yes.

[Marcus Parks]

Like over and over again. Over and over over again. Yeah. No, he knew what he was doing. Oh, yeah. At every point. But even when John Avery thought he'd made a breakthrough with Martin Bryant, began asking if he could plead guilty to the 35 murders, but not guilty to the 23 attempted murders because it seemed like he believed that he was in more trouble for injuring people than murdering them. But I think this is also another ploy.

[Henry Zabrowski]

This is him trying to meet the.

[Ed Larson]

Witness, being a piece of annoying as.

[Henry Zabrowski]

He wanted to make meet the witnesses.

[Marcus Parks]

Yes, he wanted. Yeah, he wanted to meet the people that he shot. He wanted someone. He wanted people to come in and say, that's the guy who shot me. Because that's the thing. He's. He was mostly focused on how much evidence was against him. And Avery soon came to the conclusion that Bryant was angling for a trial just so he could relive the massacre in gory detail in public. In the end, though, Bryant finally pled guilty, but only after he giggled in open court while all the charges against him were red. As far as where Martin Bryan is now, he was sentenced to 35 life sentences at Risden prison complex, nicknamed the Pink palace due to its unconventional pink cement walls and open plan cage design. Oh, I love an open plan. Wow.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Like the. Oh, my God, again? Fixer uppers. Waco. Just like it.

[Marcus Parks]

Well, most of Martin's life is kept a secret, but we do know that he's made at least six suicide attempts in the last 29 years, including hanging himself, overdosing on tranquilizers, slashing his wrists, and swallowing a whole tube of toothpaste.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I don't kill you, make you sick.

[Marcus Parks]

It'll make you really like my. My tummy. Like, my tummy's going to hurt. Yeah, but I don't think it'll kill you.

[Ed Larson]

And why not let him do it?

[Henry Zabrowski]

Because it's.

[Ed Larson]

I guess it's better torture to leave him in.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Dude, he gets out of here easy.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. Martin also no longer has his natural athletic physique, as he apparently has a ravenous appetite for ice cream. He refuses to exercise and regularly barters sex with other inmates for cans of Coca Cola.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Oh, he finally found his purpose. Oh, that's like what happened with the Clock and Beauty and the Beast. That's so nice. He gets to have sex in jail for soda. Yeah, he loves it.

[Ed Larson]

This is a good spot for an ad break for Coca Cola.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Speaking of, you could get last spot 90. You don't need to suck dick for a can of Coke anymore. You can just buy it at the store.

[Ed Larson]

The real thing.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Hey, guess what? I don't suck dick. I'll take it. I'LL take it in me bum Yum, yum, yum in me bum now diet, please.

[Ed Larson]

Coca Cola.

[Marcus Parks]

Well, according to other inmates, Bryant is obsessed with reliving his crimes and he desperately hoped that no one would break his quote, unquote, world record for most people killed in a mass shooting spree. As I said last episode, that wish was unfortunately unfulfilled as his record has been broken 10 times over since 1996.

[Henry Zabrowski]

At least we got that on him.

[Marcus Parks]

Well, it's not all America. I think Bataclan's in there. Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

And obviously Andrew's face.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. Face. Yeah. Now, again, the Tasmanian government has tried to keep very little if any information about Martin Bryant from getting out. But all this has done is fuel conspiracy theories, because as we all know, nothing fuels conspiracy theorists like a lack of information.

[Henry Zabrowski]

You know who's the one of the biggest ones too, is his mother.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

His mother is a part of the people that is leading the charge of. He never did the.

[Marcus Parks]

This.

[Henry Zabrowski]

This is a smokescreen event that h. That the. In order for them to take our guns away. Because the mother did that thing.

[Marcus Parks]

Of course. Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

Go and hide. I guess you're already in Tasmania.

[Henry Zabrowski]

She's all up. Obviously. She's all up.

[Ed Larson]

She was great.

[Henry Zabrowski]

No, she's a just like, you know, whatever.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. I mean, multiple conspiracy theories have popped up over the years about Martin Bryant allegedly being innocent. Mostly these theories say that Bryant was just a patsy used to pass gun regulation because Bryant was. Wasn't bright enough to pull off the murder of 35 people. But that is exactly the fucking point. You don't need to be Hans Gruber when you've got a weapon that can fire 60 rounds a minute with the simple tug of a trigger.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Never mind the fact half of them have bump stocks where they're not getting any recoil. They're getting all this shit where it's like, it's easy. That's when that. When we have the 14 year old who almost shot the President, he fucking like, literally, like it was easy for him to use it.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. A gun like an AR15 is specifically made for its ease of use. That's exactly how shooters in Buffalo, Dayton, Pittsburgh, Parkland and Uvalde were able to kill a combined 57 people using the same type of gun as Martin Bryant. And according to a congressional report, when you include all mass shootings in America that involved any sort of assault rifle, that death toll raises to 298. Now admit big guns are fun.

[Ed Larson]

Yes, there are.

[Marcus Parks]

There's pictures of me out there. Shooting an AR15. No need to dig up to show hypocrisy here. I fully admit I've shot these guns.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah. I shot his AK47. We had fun with it. It was fun to do.

[Ed Larson]

Yes.

[Marcus Parks]

But I also don't believe that the joke you get from a firing a high powered rifle is worth even the small bruise you get from the kickback. Much less worth almost 300 deaths.

[Henry Zabrowski]

No, it's so much better in video games where I actually get to kill, kill. You know, like in games, I get to kill and kill and kill and kill and no one does anything.

[Ed Larson]

And then you have your life.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I get it out of my system.

[Marcus Parks]

You get it out in anyways. And for me, when I play video games, I usually don't play shooters. I like to beat people to death with maces.

[Henry Zabrowski]

You like swords?

[Marcus Parks]

I love swords. I prefer a sword, yeah. Slice, give me a slice.

[Henry Zabrowski]

That's what I like. I'm using a hammer right now. I usually play solitaire.

[Ed Larson]

I like being alone.

[Henry Zabrowski]

My character, my dwarf fighter, Lord Narf, he is having a. He has a warhammer. That's what I use.

[Marcus Parks]

That's nice. I like the warhammers in BG3.

[Henry Zabrowski]

That's what I was thinking about Gallagher earlier. Earlier with the kids. Brains.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. Because of the warhammer. Because you got hammer on the brain. Yeah, Hammer brain.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I love hammers.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. Now, guns in America are of course on a massively different scale than what they were in Australia in 1996. So don't think that I'm pretending like all this is simple.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Oh, yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

When Australia did their buyback program after Port Art Arthur, they confiscated 643,000 automatic and semi automatic weapons at a cost of 350 million. By contrast, 70 million of those same types of weapons exist in America today. 643,070 million.

[Ed Larson]

That we know about.

[Marcus Parks]

That we know about.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Isn't it like, bigger than like New York and California, Like Los Angeles population put together?

[Marcus Parks]

Actually, it's. You put Newark and Los Angeles's population together, multiply it by three, and then I think you overtake the number of automatic and semiautomatic weapons. And that's the thing. That is only automatic and semiautomatic weapons. That doesn't include handguns, rifles, doesn't include shotguns. That's only semiautomatic and automatic weapons.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Why can't the Democrats. They need to harness the vote. They need to harness the gun.

[Marcus Parks]

The gun vote. Yeah. Again, guns aren't sentient, nor are they people.

[Henry Zabrowski]

What's the point of all of this. This, then.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, it's not Beauty and the Beast with guns.

[Ed Larson]

I remember 10 years ago when I was working on some project where I had to learn about this stuff. I remember the fact 10 years ago, which I imagine is not this anymore, there were 88 guns per 100 people in America, man, woman and child.

[Marcus Parks]

I think today actually guns outnumber people in the United States.

[Ed Larson]

I wouldn't be surprised at all.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, I think I heard that recently. I mean, I may be wrong on that, but, you know, know, it's. But the fact that it wouldn't surprise us and that it's believable.

[Ed Larson]

The fact that it's. If it was still 88, that's still a lot.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. And if my math is correct, you know, if we were to do the same buyback program in America that we. That Australia did back in 1996, conversion rate inflation, it would cost somewhere around $50 billion to get rid of all of them. And that's even if people are willing to do it, which they are. So I don't know what the solution is here, if there even is one. But one thing I do know is that when we go to Australia, that feeling that I carry around as an American every time I go out in public, that I can be shot at any second by a stranger, that feeling goes away.

[Ed Larson]

Yep.

[Marcus Parks]

And that's all because the people of Australia had the courage to do what needed to be done almost 30 years ago.

[Ed Larson]

Not just Australia, New Zealand, British written. We've talked about it today. It's very. It was simple back then. Now it's impossible.

[Henry Zabrowski]

It's very, very difficult to pull it back. It is deeply embedded in the American character. We are a group of people that view our individuality as the most important tenet of our society. We. Part of that, they believe is. That should be what. I just think it's funny because they think it's the same people that are angry about the people, the people who exist as like trans people, or they're just as angry about those people existing. And this idea that government would come and tell them what to do with their guns is this, oh, you know, I mean, ultimate sin. Even though they're very, very excited for. The same people are very excited for the government to tell large chunks of our society what to do anyway. They really pro. They love this. This thought process fascism that we're in right now. Like, total thought control.

[Ed Larson]

But as soon as it's something they don't like, they're willing to murder anybody.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Of course.

[Marcus Parks]

I mean, it all comes back to fear. I mean, like, it's really not talked about enough how skittish the American people are and how very fearful the, the American public is.

[Ed Larson]

If you buy a gun like that, you're obviously a scaredy pants. You're very scared that you can't fight and you, you like, you can't like protect yourself on a basic level.

[Marcus Parks]

It's not just that. It's also an extreme paranoia. It's the idea that they're stuck in some sort of action movie where, you know, there's, it's all going to come to them. It's all going to come to them and they're going to be like, they, they're gonna defend their home, you know, from some sort of, you know, invader or attacker. Or they think it's gonna be like Red dawn one day, you know, where an army of trans people are gonna come to take their kids away and force them to go to drag shows and they can use a fucking AR15 to fight them all off. When in reality, most of these people just end up shooting their wives in the fucking head by accident.

[Henry Zabrowski]

And the same group of people voted for the same evangelical branch of the government that is currently opening up the doors. They are part of the evangelical rundown of the involves China and Russia invading American soil. So that is a part of what. And they have been opening back doors to get them to come here because that's gonna bring their precious Jesus Christ back. And that's the whole thing is that all of this is death and destruction. And then also guess what guys, your guns are not gonna do anything. When you're fucking sniped by a 19 year old from Quantico shooting you from the fucking at the lower bands of the atmosphere, you're fucked. It doesn't matter if they wanna do it. We were fucked.

[Marcus Parks]

That I, that argument actually, I don't go. I can fight against. Because America couldn't take down Vietnam.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah. What are we going to do?

[Marcus Parks]

You know, like, but that's what I mean is that like guerrilla warfare and asymmetrical warfare is extraordinarily difficult to defend against. To defend against. So if there was some sort of like second civil war in Americas and we had guerrilla fighting, it would be extraordinarily ugly. It would go on forever. It, it would be incredibly deadly.

[Henry Zabrowski]

But that's what they want because it gives them purpose because they're, most of them are living around addicted to various opioids with no way of getting out of wherever they're at.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, Also, as someone who doesn't want these guns in society myself, I'm talking about no one's coming to take your fucking guns.

[Henry Zabrowski]

They're not coming.

[Ed Larson]

It's not happening.

[Henry Zabrowski]

They're like, it's not. It didn't happen with a.

[Ed Larson]

It's not even an option now.

[Marcus Parks]

No.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, it's not an option. We're not going to sit there and tell cops that they got to go door to door and take guns because that would be a disaster.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

And also the cops don't want to give up their guns either.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah. I think that again, the most important lesson here is that every gun is precious and we have to remember it's the circle of life and it moves us all.

[Ed Larson]

I was talking to Marcus about this the other day. I think like, the only, like, rational, loose plan to get rid of guns in America that I can come up with over years, it's not a bad plan, is no new assault rifles. Starting whenever start, no new assault rifles. And then when you die, you can't will your gun to someone else. So when you die, you have. That gun has to be turned in and. And taken down. And then that which will never happen would take over a hundred years.

[Henry Zabrowski]

But no one again has asked the gun what it wants. And I think that's also get. The biggest problem here is again, we're forgetting one marginalized group.

[Marcus Parks]

So you believe that gun rights means rights for the gun?

[Ed Larson]

Yes.

[Henry Zabrowski]

What else would they be for? Because I'm an animist.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, I see. You believe that everything has. Every object has a soul.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

How's my water bottle? My. My metal water bottle soul.

[Henry Zabrowski]

It's struggling with transitioning.

[Marcus Parks]

Ah, yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

I wonder what. What if guns went to war or with corporations?

[Marcus Parks]

Actually, they're both. If they're both people, well, we can think about it. Thanks so much everybody for being here for our Martin Bryant series. If you want to see video editions of our podcast, go to patreon.com lastpodcast on the left. And while you're there, stick around Every Tuesday at 6pm PST, 9pm EST for last stream on the left. We air it live. And when you watch it on Patreon, you get to see that does not make it to YouTube. And you get to talk with us on the chat, follow us on all the socials, tick tock and Instagram @lp on the left. And come see us on tour. Go to last podcast on the left dot com, click on shows and you're gonna see all of the dates, such.

[Ed Larson]

As Atlanta, June 28th. Salt Lake City, July 12th. Charlotte, North Carolina, August 8th. Durham, North Carolina. August 9th. St. Paul, Minnesota. September 20th. Milwaukee, Wisconsin. October 11th. Oakland, California. October 25th. Cleveland, Ohio, November 29th. And Portland, Oregon, December 12th and 13th.

[Marcus Parks]

I forgot we were going to Milwaukee.

[Henry Zabrowski]

We are.

[Ed Larson]

I love Milwaukee.

[Marcus Parks]

That would be fun. Yeah, we can get some spotted cow.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, I want.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah. And check the Foreign Report. They have their own YouTube channel now. Go over and check out the Foreign Report. A reasonable take on unreasonable politics.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. And actually I was on an episode of Foreign Report a few weeks ago and had a ton of fun. That was like during Signal Gate. You know, a million things have happened since then, but I'm gonna be a guest on Foreign Report here in about two weeks, a week or two. So keep an eye on, on the foreigner for YouTube page for when I reappear. I'm gonna be talking. I'm beyond that show as a fair regular.

[Ed Larson]

Hell yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

In the future.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, I just did a episode of page seven. Had a fucking great time with MJ and Jackie.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah, it's great to do. Yeah, yeah, I was over on page seven as well.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, I was also on page seven.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Check out all of our stuff. Go and go toLast podcast left dot com. Get all that. Go to the LP on the left for all the socials. And Henry, for your birthday.

[Ed Larson]

Did you see what happened? Happened. Somebody mentioned our podcast to Jillian Anderson.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I saw.

[Marcus Parks]

Really?

[Ed Larson]

Yes.

[Marcus Parks]

Like on, like is it on Cameron? Like on camera?

[Ed Larson]

Oh yeah, I shared it. I had to share it.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

Someone, someone mentioned last podcast on the left to Jillian and it's congratulations, Congratulations.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Slowly but surely we're getting. I'm getting in there. Oh yeah, I'm getting to her. Wow. All the thing I have to do now is approach divorce your wife. First. Second, second thing is to arrive as an illiterate Nazi youth so that she can sexually educate me to read like.

[Marcus Parks]

That movie the Reader she was.

[Ed Larson]

That was Kate Winslet.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Thank God you stopped me.

[Ed Larson]

Hail Jillian Anderson.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

This is Comedy Bang Bang. The podcast, the promo and in 30 seconds I'm going to tell you why. You should check out the show. I, the host, Scott Aukerman have a light hearted conversation with famous celebrities like Jon Hamm, Alison Williams, Phoebe Bridgers, Jason Alexander, Natasha Lyonne, Bob Odenkirk, just to name a few things go a little off the rails when different eccentric characters and oddballs drop by to be interviewed as well. Each week is a blend of conversations and character work from your favorite comedians as well as some new hilarious voices, comedy Bang Bang the podcast. Listen every Monday, wherever you get your podcasts.