Episode 631: The Kentucky Teenage Vampire Clan Murders Part III - I'm Your Parents Now

Summary

Last Podcast On The Left Episode 631: The Kentucky Teenage Vampire Clan Murders Part III - I'm Your Parents Now

Date: August 22, 2025
Host: Marcus Parks
Co-hosts: Henry Zabrowski, Ed Larson

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Episode Overview

In the chilling conclusion to their three-part series, the Last Podcast On The Left crew dives deep into the final, grisly chapter of the Kentucky Teenage Vampire Clan Murders. They recount how Rod Ferrell, a teenager who claimed to be a 500-year-old vampire named Vassago, led his goth-obsessed followers from Kentucky to Florida. What began as fantasy and blood-bonding rituals spiraled into a shocking real-life double murder and a notorious media firestorm. This episode explores the tragic events, group psychology, law enforcement blunders, and the long, strange afterlife of the case in American pop culture and criminal justice.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

The Power and Pitfalls of "Vampire the Masquerade" Fantasy (03:29–08:29)

• Marcus reads an email from a Vampire: the Masquerade (VTM) LARP enthusiast, illuminating how deeply some teens immersed themselves in vampire roleplay.
• The difference between vampire fantasy as escapist fun and when it becomes an unhealthy identity, especially for isolated or troubled youth.
• Notable moment: Naked Dave anecdote highlights the blurry lines of consent, character, and community in intense longform roleplay spaces.
• Henry (04:51): "That's what it is. It is his character...Don't marry a man with the legal name of Naked Dave."

"Clan" Life in Kentucky and Florida (08:34–15:20)

• Rod's growing alienation leads to the tightening and isolation of his "clan," made up of mostly adrift, ostracized teens.
• Kentucky vs. Florida clans: The tension, merging, and cross-state phone bonds.
• The social ecosystem of Murray, Kentucky’s Hardy’s (local goth hangout), rival vampire groups, and the impact of adolescent fantasy.
• Ed (09:13): "I can only think of the actual clan," pointing to regional loaded connotations.

Blood Bonding, Role Assignments, and Cult Control (15:41–19:05)

• Ritual blood drinking every three days, magical spells cast against rival groups, and Rod assigning "elemental" identities to his followers (fire, air, water, but he himself claims "void").
• Manipulation tactics: Withholding roles (Dana is denied an element), isolating followers, and fomenting us-vs-them paranoia.
• The slow shift from friend-group LARP to something cult-like and dangerous.
• Marcus (17:31): "Rod, instead of being earth, douchely chose to be 'void.'"

The Spark: Animal Cruelty, Betrayal, and Escalation (19:44–22:15)

• Rod’s abuse of animals starts to scare loyalists; Matt Goodman reports him to authorities and leaves the clan just before the murders.
• Shrinking social circles drive Rod's acceleration toward violence as a way to maintain fantasy and control.

Heather Windorf: Fantasy vs. Reality (23:45–41:21)

• Heather, Rod’s "Florida clan" devotee, constructs her own abuse narrative to fit into Rod’s world; there's no evidence for her claims.
• The teen group plans to "run away" to New Orleans, but the fantasy gives way to reality as events spiral.
• The façade cracks: Heather’s boyfriend Jeremy’s reaction demonstrates the gulf between vampire fantasy and mundane teenage life.
• Marcus (38:14): "If someone is planning to kill their parents, they don't call their boyfriend to break up with them first."

The Murders: Brutality and Disconnection (44:08–55:17)

• Rod and Scott return to Heather’s home; impulsively, Rod decides to murder Heather's parents.
• Choice of weapons (crowbar, wooden club), botched planning, and a total lack of ritualistic "vampire" behaviors during and after the killings.
• Real violence is disconnected from their roleplay fantasies; no blood drinking occurs.
• Marcus (47:13): "I think that Rod's choice of a crowbar bolsters his claim that this was absolutely a spur of the moment decision...if this was a vampire decision...he would have put far more planning into the act."
• The horror of the crime scene: vicious overkill, Ruth Windorf’s brief resistance, and the cold aftermath.
• Henry (52:12): "I just think it's the power, power of a, let's just say a spouse to ignore what's happening in the other room."
• Rod "brands" the body with a V for Vassago—an empty gesture, more embarrassing than sinister.

The Aftermath: Escape, Breakdown, and Arrest (55:42–93:04)

• Clan flees in victim's car, stops at Walmart and gas stations, haphazardly fumbles hiding evidence.
• Aspects of fantasy and reality intermingle; Heather briefly attacks her "dark mate" Scott, then reverts to blood drinking as "sustenance."
• Rod’s grandiose tales of New Orleans vampires and werewolf rivals seem increasingly hollow to his followers.
• The group arrives in New Orleans, breaks into homes, performs rituals in St. Louis Cemetery with Necronomicon and "walking pentagram".
  • Henry (80:03): "That's the closest thing that they've done to something almost vaguely cool once..."
• Ultimately, they are caught after calling Charity’s mother for money—she works at a sheriff’s department and tips off police.
• Marcus (92:30): "Rod put on the shotgun that he'd been holding on to for days and meekly surrendered to the police alongside the rest of his vampire clan."
• Rod immediately and fully confesses, protecting the others and reverting to vampire melodrama for police and media attention, keeping “kayfabe.”
• Henry (93:26): "His goal was to keep kayfabe. His goal was to keep telling people that he was a vampire. And so he. He keeps. He keeps it going to this day."

The Media Panic and Miscarriage of Justice (97:56–106:47)

• The local cops and media—steeped in Satanic Panic—run wild with claims of satanic cults, ritual killings, and vampire conspiracies, often based on unreliable gossip or outright fabrications by other teens.
• Innocent bystanders are swept up; Janine LeClaire is hospitalized due to media pressure, Heather is demonized without evidence, and police zero in on "Vampire: The Masquerade" as the scapegoat.
• Marcus (97:14): "They want it to be real. Because then the easy arrest shows how powerful good is over bad."
• The actual detective overseeing the case keeps a level head, crediting the crime to Rod's personality and rejecting occult explanations.

Sentencing and Reflections: Justice and the Death Penalty (106:47–113:39)

• Heather Windorf is ultimately not charged; the other teens receive harsh sentences regardless of their level of involvement, with Rod initially sentenced to death.
• Rod's death sentence is commuted to life in prison, providing decades for reflection and regret.
• The hosts discuss how executing Rod would have fit his fantasy—and why letting him live, stripped of this illusion, provides truer justice.
• Marcus (110:52): "By the time he gave interviews and later documentaries, all of his illusions had fallen away, and he is now forced to spend a lifetime stewing over the fact that he threw his life away on a teenage obsession with vampires."
• The broader damage of Satanic Panic: it ruined actual lives, led to wrongful accusations, and demonized outsider teens.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

| Timestamp | Speaker | Quote / Moment | |-----------|---------|----------------| | 04:51 | Henry | “Don’t marry a man with the legal name of Naked Dave.” | | 17:31 | Marcus | “Rod, instead of being earth, douchely chose to be ‘void.’” | | 23:45 | Marcus | “Rod was doing his level best to tighten his grip on the two girls down in Eustis, Florida...” | | 38:14 | Marcus | “If someone is planning to kill their parents, they don't call their boyfriend to break up with them first.” | | 47:13 | Marcus | “I think that Rod's choice of a crowbar bolsters his claim that this was absolutely a spur of the moment decision...” | | 52:12 | Henry | “I just think it's the power, power of a, let's just say a spouse to ignore what's happening in the other room.” | | 71:15 | Charity (paraphrased by Marcus) | “You're probably just grumpy because you need to feed.” | | 80:03 | Henry | “That's the closest thing that they've done to something almost vaguely cool once...” (about cemetery ritual) | | 92:30 | Marcus | “Rod put on the shotgun that he'd been holding on to for days and meekly surrendered to the police alongside the rest of his vampire clan.” | | 93:26 | Henry | “His goal was to keep kayfabe...he keeps it going to this day.” | | 97:14 | Marcus | “They want it to be real. Because then the easy arrest shows how powerful good is over bad.” | | 110:52 | Marcus | “By the time he gave interviews...all of his illusions had fallen away, and he is now forced to spend a lifetime stewing over the fact that he threw his life away on a teenage obsession with vampires.” |

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Important Segment Timestamps

• Vampire: the Masquerade LARP email and the power of fantasy: 03:29–08:29
• Rod’s tightening control and cult tactics: 15:41–19:05
• The murders at the Windorf home: 44:08–55:17
• Rituals in New Orleans/St. Louis Cemetery: 79:40–82:06
• The group's arrest in Baton Rouge: 92:17–93:04
• Media frenzy and demonization of Heather: 97:56–106:47
• Justice system aftermath and death penalty reflections: 106:47–113:39

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Tone & Style

• Dark humor: The hosts blend sensitivity toward the victims with sardonic and absurdist humor, often mocking themselves, the absurdity of the Satanic Panic, and the bizarre seriousness of the original vampire roleplayers.
• Empathy: Special care is taken to view the teens as “kids playing pretend” until the tragedy erupts, constantly pushing back against reactionary and moral panics.
• Irreverence: Pop culture riffs, personal anecdotes, and hypothetical reenactments abound, but undergirded by researched critique.

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Takeaways

• The Kentucky Vampire Murders are a case study in how adolescent fantasy, emotional need, and social marginalization can turn deadly—but also how media, police, and political panic can outpace the real (mundane) horror.
• Behind the vampire roleplay were lonely and traumatized kids, not occult masterminds.
• The real terror, then and now, comes as much from the institutions built to protect as from the fantasies of the lost.
• Ultimately, as Marcus sums up, "there have been far more atrocities in this country justified and inspired by the bible than what's been done in the name of vampire."

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For further exploration:

• Earlier episodes in this trilogy (for full context)
• Aphrodite Jones’ book on the case & documentaries on the subject
• Information on the ongoing impact of Satanic Panic and its modern analogs

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Quotable Send-off:

• Marcus (112:24): "Instead, time and again, it's usually just a bunch of idiots playing pretend like it was with Rod Ferrell's crew."

Transcript

[Henry Zabrowski]

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[Marcus Parks]

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[Ed Larson]

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[Marcus Parks]

And you need Lifelock. Because your info is in endless places. It only takes one mistake to expose you to identity theft. LifeLock monitors hundreds of millions of data points a second. If your identity is stolen, we'll fix it, guaranteed.

[Henry Zabrowski]

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[Marcus Parks]

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[Henry Zabrowski]

That's when the cannibalism started. What was that?

[Ed Larson]

I am the sago.

[Henry Zabrowski]

So you are. You guys both have vampire teeth in.

[Marcus Parks]

No, I don't have vampire teeth in.

[Henry Zabrowski]

These are my real teeth. Oh, God. See, this is why I didn't use it, because they cut my gums.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, yeah, they're cutting up my gum pretty bad right now.

[Henry Zabrowski]

That's what's nice about them. They make vampire food.

[Ed Larson]

Unless you want to have some hardies.

[Marcus Parks]

I gotta take those out. They taste bad, too.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, they taste like plastic. It tastes like I was chewing on a straw.

[Marcus Parks]

No, it tastes like. Tasted like I got poison just a little bit.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Whoa. It says right here, straight from Wuhan. Yeah, which I love to see. Well, I love a good old fashioned Wuhan Petroleum.

[Ed Larson]

My old pangolin biters.

[Marcus Parks]

Welcome to Last podcast. On the left. Ladies and gentlemen, my name is Marcus Parks. I'm here with the unusually cautious Henry Zabrowski.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Today. Yeah, I know how to watch myself. Here's me, Terrence, the lead singer from Stain. Yeah. Now, I got to tell you, it's been a while since I could held my head up high, but mostly just because I got scoliosis from looking at my phone.

[Marcus Parks]

We have the brave first to put the vampire teeth in his mouth. Ed Larson.

[Henry Zabrowski]

That's right.

[Ed Larson]

I put the vampire teeth in my mouth and I got the stains on my pants in honor of stained. Yes, they are worth the cum on my pants.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Your pants are stained.

[Marcus Parks]

And stained of course, came into our head because we are enmeshed, entrenched in the mid to late 90s right now.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Trench coated. Yes.

[Marcus Parks]

Trench coated. Yes. Because we are here at the conclusion of our series on the Kentucky Teenage Vampire Klan murders.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Wow.

[Ed Larson]

That's a lot.

[Henry Zabrowski]

The deepest, darkest vampire saga that any man has ever died.

[Marcus Parks]

Before we begin, I'd like to read an email from a listener who is a massive the Masquerade enthusiast.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Vtm, please.

[Marcus Parks]

Yes, vtm. And I'd like to.

[Henry Zabrowski]

You.

[Marcus Parks]

You know what I didn't even think about. Yeah, vtm. Okay. That's great. Yep. Because I've been so sick of typing out Vampire the Masquerade over and over again.

[Henry Zabrowski]

You released, my friend.

[Marcus Parks]

Well, I'd like to read this email for two reasons. First, I think it'll help everyone understand just how deeply some of these players can fall into their Personas. And secondly, and perhaps more importantly, I'd like everyone to see what these people get up to when they're isolated. Which, you know, if the satanic panickers are right, when they're isolated, that would be when all the child sacrifice and all the devil worship would occur. When all the really dark things bathing in blood.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yes. Because they get shy.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Sacrifice. Like nobody's watching. Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

But that, of course, is not the case. Here's the email. One of my friends used to participate in a massive vampire larp. Once or twice a year, about 50 people would rent a castle and pretend to be Dark Ages vampires for a weekend, complete with acting out historical moments in the lore.

[Henry Zabrowski]

One by.

[Marcus Parks]

I would imagine they say in the lore. I would imagine that would be Vampire the Masquerade very much, yes. This included a man only referred to as Naked Dave who refused to wear clothes for the entire weekend. It's my character.

[Henry Zabrowski]

That's what it is. It is his character.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. The only issue was Naked Dave's wife didn't like that he was naked the whole weekend. And she especially didn't like that once corralled into clothes, he'd make any excuse to get naked again.

[Ed Larson]

He's wearing a cape.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Don't marry a man with the legal name of Naked Dave.

[Marcus Parks]

Is someone trying to do a seminar on torturing mortals? Naked Dave will volunteer.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I'm right there.

[Marcus Parks]

But only if he can be naked while doing it.

[Ed Larson]

My neck's out.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Come on. Let me see. Let me sit on my balls in front of everyone.

[Marcus Parks]

It was also common for people to have loud, kinky sex. Usually there was a part of the castle that was roped off to be the 18 + section where people would participate in BDSM and character.

[Henry Zabrowski]

They have to have that.

[Marcus Parks]

They have to have that. Of course there are consenting adults. They're allowed.

[Henry Zabrowski]

It's a vampire castle weekend.

[Ed Larson]

A rope that doesn't really stop young kids from watching.

[Marcus Parks]

Maybe a rope and maybe there's a room between the room and there's a bouncer.

[Henry Zabrowski]

A bouncer where you berries a Bombayer. And the best part about it being roped off. They can then use the ropes to torture each other.

[Ed Larson]

Well, they're lucky the wolf cops didn't show up.

[Marcus Parks]

Continuing.

[Henry Zabrowski]

They are indeed.

[Marcus Parks]

One year they had to ban the bringing of sex toys to the non sexy areas of the LARP because some guy kept throwing dildos at other people claiming to use flesh crafting skills to pull his own penis off and hurl it at people he didn't like.

[Henry Zabrowski]

It's in the lore, it's in the book. Like it holds.

[Marcus Parks]

Finally, once there was a character who had a phobia of fire. She would scream and cry if she sat too close to a lit candle. The other players ended up yelling fire at her so much that they had to create a rule where if it was a real fire, you had to yell real fire and, and raise your hand to show you weren't in character.

[Henry Zabrowski]

And that is how being a nerd can kill you. Because it's, it's true.

[Marcus Parks]

That's vampire the masquerade.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Very much so. And the, the idea of someone staying in character is encouraged. And it really is. I saw many letters talking about our coverage and said the one thing that most people that were like decades long, people that have been playing vtm, they all express their jealousy of the Kentucky vampires and their ability to just let go and let vampires.

[Ed Larson]

It's a lot easier when there's nothing else to do.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yes.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

You think that if they had like a wooden dildo, you know, it could be like a steak, you know, would it affect the woman if you.

[Henry Zabrowski]

If you.

[Ed Larson]

If, if. Because I know the steak has to go through the heart. The state goes through the vagina. Fine.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Vampires actually can't experience orgasms. They can't have natural sex.

[Ed Larson]

Why do they all the time?

[Henry Zabrowski]

They don't all the time. Well, they, they normally play to seduce you in order to get the blood vol. Voluntarily, depending on their feeding style.

[Ed Larson]

So they're playing on our horniness.

[Marcus Parks]

Yes. Oh, yeah. That's. That's the whole thing about vampires. That's why vampires are sexies because they use their sexiness to lure immortals in. So they can drain us of our lifeblood.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Vampires can only experience certain things by drinking the blood of those that are also doing it. So if they, if they wanted to feel an orgasm, they could literally jerk somebody off while drinking their blood. And if they come while they're drinking their blood, they could feel the orgasm. Or that's why certain vampires really concentrate on those that are drug users or ones that have already been out all night raving. That's what all those guys do in Blade. What they were doing was, is that they're all on drugs and then the drugs is in the blood. And it's the only way that vampires can feel drugs is by drinking blood that has drugs in it. You.

[Ed Larson]

I'm sorry, I'm sorry I asked.

[Henry Zabrowski]

That's the Lord.

[Ed Larson]

But, you know, it's part of the show, so.

[Marcus Parks]

When we last left the Kentucky teenage vampire clan, Rod Ferrell had found himself on the outs with the majority of Murray, Kentucky's vampire population, which this, of course, had earned him a soft ban from the ancient vampiric hangout that was the local Hardee's.

[Henry Zabrowski]

What will I do without my ancestral home?

[Marcus Parks]

Yes.

[Ed Larson]

Can we paint the White Castle black?

[Marcus Parks]

So instead of hanging out with the improv kids from Murray State or hanging out with Stephen Murphy's clan, Rod found himself with a father. Far smaller vampiric crew in Kentucky comprised mostly of his 15 year old girlfriend, Charity, and his two childhood friends, Matt Goodman and Scott Anderson. And there were also a couple of other guys that seemed to kind of come in and out of the vampiric clan, but this is the core group right here.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Oh, no. I had a. I read a Reddit AMA from somebody that was a part of the fledgling crew before they went down to Florida that was a little girl when this was all happening, that was in their crew and she.

[Marcus Parks]

Little girl, like a teenager.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah. And she basically was.

[Ed Larson]

Well, she's thousands of years old.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Thank you, Eddie. Yeah, so.

[Marcus Parks]

So it's like Kristen Dunston interview with the vampire. Like that.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's legal. That's what it means. It's totally legal. But no, the. She basically said. But I'm just going to say that she might also be in sort of the Still Needing attention estate. Yeah. Because she was saying she's definitely a vampire and Rod was absolutely a vampire and convinced her that she was a vampire.

[Ed Larson]

Are you saying that people who do amas need attention?

[Marcus Parks]

I just took the biggest dump of my life. Ask me anything. How big was it? It was big.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah. Was it brown? Yeah, like Reddish touched the bottom of the toilet. It was still in my butt. What kind of red was it? Bright red or was it dark red?

[Marcus Parks]

Dark red like clay.

[Henry Zabrowski]

That's bad, dude. That's cancer. Oh, ask me anything, I'll give you bad news.

[Marcus Parks]

But perhaps because Rod's crew in Kentucky was shrinking, Rod was, during the summer and fall of 1996, doing his level best to tighten his grip on the two girls down in Eustis, Florida, that he and Scott Anderson were still talking to on the phone for hours at a time. Those girls were Heather windorf and janine leclaire, both 15 years old. See, Heather and Janine had both fallen for the fantasy that the 16 year old Rod Ferrell was a 500-year-old vampire named Vassago. But Heather had bought into the fantasy far harder than Janine had. This was perhaps because Heather had just met Rod the year before, while Janine had known Rod since the second grade.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah, I knew him when he was playing kickball. He ain't no vampire. I knew I saw him as a child.

[Marcus Parks]

You remember a kid, like, getting beat up until he pissed his pants? You can't believe he's a vampire.

[Henry Zabrowski]

No. Unless, of course, it happened and it was being done by Prometheus Unbound, which is. I found out it is. There is a Frankenstein RPG as well. You play different types of non people. People. Like a golem or homunculus or a construction or a doctor.

[Marcus Parks]

Hell yeah. Can I. If I'm a homunculus, can I be made completely of semen?

[Henry Zabrowski]

You better be.

[Marcus Parks]

Hell yeah.

[Ed Larson]

What about like an Igor? Can you be an Igor?

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah, sure.

[Ed Larson]

I just want to help people out.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I mean, yeah, you just like to work.

[Ed Larson]

Would you like a lamb?

[Henry Zabrowski]

I don't eat. I don't have the budget. Foreign associate produce more crack.

[Marcus Parks]

In addition to pretending to believe Rod's story, Heather Windorf had also begun pretending that she had her own dark past to match Rod's fantasy, that his grandfather had molested him multiple times in a series of occult rituals featuring other dirty old men. Oh, yeah, I want some of that. Heather began telling Rod during their eight hour long phone conversations that her parents were also evil and that her father was also molesting her. All of this, of course, was just an extension of Heather's personal fantasies and had no grounding in fact. But since Heather was such a believer in Rod's bullshit, and because the people of Murray were starting to become less receptive to Rod's status as a vampire lord because he no longer had access.

[Henry Zabrowski]

To hardee's bring me back the center of my power. These tater tots will not be ripped from my dracul like claw.

[Marcus Parks]

Because of all this, Rod began inching closer and closer towards integrating his Kentucky clan with his Florida clan with murderous results.

[Ed Larson]

I can't believe this is still worse. When you say Kentucky clan and Florida clan, I can only think of the actual clan.

[Henry Zabrowski]

See, I gotta see the K. Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, you do have to see the K to really get there.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Got to.

[Marcus Parks]

Got to. Now, before Rod Ferrell took the step to head down to Florida to bring his two vampire crews together, he managed to pick up another member for his Kentucky vampire clan. And this might just be the saddest person in this story outside of Rod's mother, Sondra. The final member of Rod's Kentucky crew, who joined just three months before the murders, was 19 year old Dana Lynn Cooper. So even though Dana was years older than everyone else, she'd become close to Rod's 15 year old girlfriend, Cherry.

[Henry Zabrowski]

How you doing, champion? How you doing? Is that the champion? Girl, girl.

[Marcus Parks]

And even though Rod didn't really like Dana at first, he changed his opinion when he discovered that Dana had her own apartment.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Ooh, yes. This vampire cult leader needs access to a washer dryer. Very much so my undergarments. And deeply sullied by the dirt of the dance.

[Marcus Parks]

And so, using Dana's apartment as his new base of operations, Rod took his Kentucky clan on regular trips down to the local cemetery. Would drink each other's blood to, quote, bond their souls together while asking ancient spirits questions that would be answered through automatic writing.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Tell me. So is Elvis still alive? Yep. Cool. Says Martin Luther King Jr. Is he still alive? Yep.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, he's a vampire.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Cool. All right, what else? What else? Should I like, like find something else to do? Should I, like, find a new goal in life? Absolutely. The second you can.

[Marcus Parks]

Ignoring that in a further give himself an air of authority, Rod began binding his clam towards him through shared activities that represented an us versus them mentality.

[Henry Zabrowski]

In that Reddit ama, they did say they did not go three days without sucking each other's blood. Jesus. Real gross.

[Marcus Parks]

See, it was easy for Rod to get his fellow Wampyurs to abandon the real world, because they'd pretty much already done that by the time they met him.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Let's just say the real world was already saying goodbye to them.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, but it was far more difficult to isolate them from the other local goths. But instead of treading the dangerous waters of going into Hardee's to Challenge Stephen Murphy's rival vampire clan directly. Rod would take his group to the woods behind Hardee's.

[Henry Zabrowski]

My God. We can see nothing outside around the dumpsters. We storm at dawn.

[Ed Larson]

Wait, they're close.

[Henry Zabrowski]

They're right there. Well, we'll wait till 9am when is breakfast?

[Marcus Parks]

When the woods.

[Henry Zabrowski]

10:30. This is horseshit.

[Marcus Parks]

When the woods behind Hardy's. They would perform magical spells that would be cast against the other clans. They would also spend time casting magical spells against the improv group at Murray State University.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Zip. Zap, Zap. Zip. Zip, zap. Zip.

[Ed Larson]

Take that, calamity brothers.

[Marcus Parks]

Now, Rod Ferrell was one of those people who instinctively knew how to run a cult. Although, like I said, this was far more of a friend group that got out of control than a satanic coven. But even so, Rod still used the same techniques that cult leaders use to control their followers. He just went about it like a 16 year old boy. Or he just went about it like a 16 year old boy would go about it.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah, you just. That was kind of Italian.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, it is a 16 year old boy. Would it go about.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Hey, you know. You know how he's 16 year old, he had a sex with my daughter and then next thing you know, I think about him make us have a priest. He had a sex with my son.

[Ed Larson]

It's because he had a tiny coffee.

[Marcus Parks]

His hand just turn Italians actually. Yeah, Have a bit. Espresso or a latte? Oh, you want a bigger guy? Some warmer milk? Is that. What do you want with a latte? I'm a real man. And drink a cappuccino.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I love this.

[Marcus Parks]

Well, for example, Rod would tell his clan that while the end of the world was indeed coming, his clan was going to survive. Because each of them represented a necessary element that would forge the world that was to come afterwards. Word charity was fire. Heather was air. Scott was water.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Oh, yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

But Rod, instead of being earth, douchely chose to be void.

[Henry Zabrowski]

That doesn't make any sense.

[Marcus Parks]

Fire, air, water, void.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Earth doesn't need void. That's what gets rid of the earth.

[Ed Larson]

Is youth useless?

[Marcus Parks]

No. The earth needs void. In this new world that we shall forge, we shall not be on earth. We shall be in the void like all of our souls have been before we became to be teenage boys in Kentucky.

[Henry Zabrowski]

The earth is way more important to the earth.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, it is. But the void is more important to the vampire. It sounds like somebody's not a true fucking vampire.

[Henry Zabrowski]

The vampire lives in the fucking earth, sleeps in the goddamn earth. It has to have Fucking its own dirt in its casket. It literally specifically sleeps in dirt.

[Ed Larson]

Listen, man, we're not playing Captain Planet the Masquerade.

[Henry Zabrowski]

We're playing Vampire the Masquerade. There's a void.

[Marcus Parks]

But the cult technique that Rod instinctively knew here involved Dana.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Dana. See?

[Marcus Parks]

See, Dana was the one with the apartment.

[Henry Zabrowski]

The apartment.

[Marcus Parks]

She technically held more power than Rod held because Dana was an adult.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah, she had an adult. She had a literal door she could.

[Ed Larson]

Close and a box of dildos.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. Well, to bring her down low to a point where she needed to seek Rod's approval, Rod declined to give Dana an element O, which implied that she could do something to earn one.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Okay, how about suck?

[Marcus Parks]

If I can be an element and suck can be an element.

[Henry Zabrowski]

It doesn't make. Actually, no, because, like, no. Okay, I'm bored.

[Marcus Parks]

Which means, like, yeah, and I'm stuck.

[Ed Larson]

Well, I just suck's kind of like love.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I make the rules. I'm fasago.

[Marcus Parks]

That's bad now. In early November 1996, Rod began feeling the tiniest bit of legal heat. In the weeks before Thanksgiving, the sheriff of Murray, Kentucky, questioned Rod about the animal cruelty we discussed last episode where Rod had allegedly kidnapped dogs from the local animal shelter and killed them. Now, even though everyone in town was convinced that it was them vampire kids what done it, there had been no hard evidence leading the police to believe that Rod specifically had been responsible for the death and mutilation of the dogs.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah, it's a false flag. Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

But sometime around Halloween, it seems something happened in Rod's clan that caused one of his people to turn coat. See, as I said last time, Rod was careful to keep the animal cruelty to certain members. And as it turned out, he was right to do so.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Is it cool if I kill dogs? Just a dry ruddy. It's just a hypothetical.

[Ed Larson]

So if, like, if, like, I went out and I, like, kicked a bunch.

[Marcus Parks]

Of dogs, would it bother you?

[Henry Zabrowski]

You know, it really depends. Are they shaped like footballs? Are you drunk? Hell, yeah. Let's go kick some fucking dogs.

[Marcus Parks]

In early November, Rod's childhood friend and fellow vampire clan member Matt Goodman, known as Damian in the clan, he witnessed Rod kicking and slamming a beagle into a tree. This action greatly disturbed Matt, who was either an animal lover or had simply been frightened by Rod's violence.

[Henry Zabrowski]

He honestly might have been one of those people in VTM that only feed upon the sleeping and the unaware.

[Marcus Parks]

What does that have to do with kicking a dog?

[Henry Zabrowski]

Well, the idea that he would look down upon the gathering of manna From a living creature.

[Marcus Parks]

Ah, I see. But if someone's sleeping, they're still living, though. Additionally, Rod was becoming more free with his threats to kill other people. And he'd been talking a lot about how he'd already killed someone in the past. So Matt Goodman called the Crime Stoppers hotline and left a tip that Rod Farrell was probably the one who killed the dogs. And he may possibly be a murderer of humans as well. Maybe look into the guy.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Hello, this is a call from Count Damien. I am calling to tell you goose up a crime. I'm calling to tell you the dogs are not safe.

[Marcus Parks]

Well, Matt Goodman. After this, he bounced from Rod's vampire clan. And luckily for Matt, that meant that he missed everything that was about to happen with the murders by just a few weeks.

[Henry Zabrowski]

That's the key. Yeah, he got in, he was in just long enough to suck some blood, maybe see some vampire titties from his fucking friends, maybe. And then he got out.

[Marcus Parks]

He did. And there was another kid too, that was hanging out with him. And he got sent to a drug treatment center like three days before they went to Florida.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Best thing that ever happened to that fucking kid.

[Ed Larson]

Oh yeah, where's his ama?

[Marcus Parks]

Well, I saw him do an AMA by the railroad tracks in one of those documentaries.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah. Oh yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

Now, even though Matt Goodman missed being a party to the double murder down in Florida, it was quite possible that his phone call to the police was what inspired Rod to finally leave town with the rest of his vampire clan. See, Rod was starting to feel the heat surrounding the animal cruelty investigations. Because while he of course hadn't killed anyone yet, he had killed a lot of animals. But since Rod was, to put it simply, a who couldn't handle even the slightest amount of pressure, he started thinking about leaving. Now, at the same time, down In Florida, Janine LeClaire's mother had discovered all of Janine's so called occult witchcraft accoutrement.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Oh, that poor, poor pile of stuff from fucking Spencer's getting thrown out is so sad.

[Ed Larson]

What happened to the fingers on these gloves?

[Henry Zabrowski]

Have you been selling it for drugs? Haven't you been cutting the fingers off of your gloves and selling them for drugs?

[Ed Larson]

Are you using them as condoms?

[Henry Zabrowski]

Condoms?

[Ed Larson]

There's not gonna work. There's holes in the netting.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Be with a man with a bigger penis. That's how I met your father.

[Marcus Parks]

Who paid for all these studs on this belt?

[Henry Zabrowski]

Is each one of these a man? You. You've fallen with your penis and vagina.

[Ed Larson]

This wallet doesn't need A chain.

[Marcus Parks]

Well, Janine's mother subsequently called Heather Windorf's mother to issue a warning that Heather may have also fallen under the devil's influence. Once these two events came together, Rod told Janine and Heather over the phone to pack their bags and prepare to leave. Because Rod was finally coming with his Kentucky vampire clan to get them both and whisk everyone away to the vampires paradise that is New Orleans, Louisiana.

[Henry Zabrowski]

And I bet they are gonna be. The vampire community of NOLA is going to welcome them with open arms. And when they get down there and their French chariots, they go down to Le ville Cole zone. They go down, they get themselves some nice godfish friend. Yeah, man. Who. They're gonna love you down there. They're not gonna kill you one by one.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, man. These taints are about to march in.

[Marcus Parks]

The. Rod says that he did not go down to Florida with the express purpose of killing Heather's parents. But while you're there, y. But he did tell his Kentucky vampire clan that Heather was in trouble, and they therefore all had to get to Eustace as fast as possible to save her.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Okay, awesome. So let's all turn into bats. I'm sick. Okay, so let's all turn into wolves. Allergies. I thought I could turn this money into a bus ticket. The most one body activity of all.

[Marcus Parks]

Well, to give all this a sense of urgency, Rod described Heather's parents to the rest of the clan as absolute monsters. Snooty rich folk on par with the greedy and selfish European aristocracy that Rod had dealt with when he, as Vassago, had lived in France, oh, so many centuries before.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, we know all the oligarchs in Eustace.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Oh, very much so. And you know that in France, they actually. They eat cheese like it's soup. Big bowls of it. And they put the bread on little forks and the fruit on little forks, and they eat it like it's a. Some kind of stiff soup.

[Marcus Parks]

Disgusting. And so, once properly motivated, Rod, Charity, Scott, and Dana, they climbed into their vampiric chariot. Scott's used Buick Skylark.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah. Take to the skies.

[Marcus Parks]

And the four of them began the drive towards Eustis with the express purpose of rescuing Heather on November 24, 1996. And they were also gonna pick up Jeanine while they were there.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah, absolutely. And if we could stop at the racetrack, I'd need to get a 59 ouncer. I need to get a solid 59 ounces of Mountain Dew Code Purple inside of me immediately. It's a new Diamond Tap flavored. Yeah, it's great.

[Marcus Parks]

Great. The plan that after Heather and Janine were rescued from the dire reality of upper middle class Florida lake town living, they would all go to New Orleans where Rod said he knew a voodoo priest named Chicken man who was all too willing to help out a young vampire clan on the run.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Oh yes, that young man vampire I've been waiting for. Welcome. Come on down a minute. Yeah, it's me. I'm Chick, man. Nice to meet you. You, we're gonna get you on the fry machine. And then you vampire number two, we're gonna get you on the tender breading station. And you hear vampire number three. Well, you're pretty enough to be at the cash register.

[Marcus Parks]

Now which one of y' all knows we're a po boy?

[Henry Zabrowski]

Me. I'm a po boy. No, I'm talking about the sandwich.

[Ed Larson]

Now, after we close, I changed from Chicken man to Dickin man.

[Marcus Parks]

All right?

[Ed Larson]

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[Henry Zabrowski]

This podcast is brought to you by Squarespace. Whether you're just starting out or scaling your business, Squarespace is the all in one website platform designed to help you stand out and succeed online. And I will not be destroyed by these children that keep purchasing my businesses. Yes, I have lost horsepix.com and yes, currently I am in for some form of tet a tet with Putin's daughter who purchased just umu paintings dot com. So now I'm a man alone who's decided I'm out of the sales business. Yeah, I'm starting a new website. It's called Henry Zabrowski's Feet.com and that's because I'm sick of Wikipedia going out there and slandering my good name on my feet. All right? My feet are good and this is all I have. So you need to support me and Squarespace. Squarespace makes it all possible. It makes a podcast possible. Squarespace gives you everything you need to offer services and get paid. Squarespace domains make it easier to find the best name for your business at one fair, all inclusive price. No hidden fees or add ons required. Head to squarespace.com left for a free trial. When you're ready to launch, use offer code left to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.

[Marcus Parks]

On their way down to Florida, the teenage vampire survived on Little Debbie Cakes and Dr. Pepper, in addition to each other's blood.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Ah, okay, great.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You got. Well, I mean, the Little Debbie that's just, you know, fun.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

To soak up the blood. It's making the medicine go down.

[Marcus Parks]

But no mention whatsoever was made of committing even a small act of violence, much less a double murder. As far as these kids were concerned, they were all just running away to New Orleans. Now, when Rod and his crew finally showed up in Eustis and met up with Heather and Janine, the Florida contingent of Rod's clan found that their expectations did not match up with reality. Firstly, Jeanine and Heather hadn't seen Rod in nearly a year. And when he last left Eustace, he still had his more, let's say, Axl Rose like strawberry blonde hair Very long. You know, a little more.

[Henry Zabrowski]

More.

[Marcus Parks]

A little more of a pretty boy. Right.

[Ed Larson]

He's trying to take them to the Paradise City.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, of course. But when Rod returned, his hair was dyed black, his nails were painted black, and he was far more of a Marilyn Manson type figure than what at least Janine was prepared to deal with. That's the turn off that he was. Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

He changed aesthetic.

[Marcus Parks]

Yes. It really was. He's like. She's like. I don't know about this. He does.

[Ed Larson]

He wasn't one of the beautiful people.

[Henry Zabrowski]

No, no, no, no.

[Marcus Parks]

Well, I think Janine had more of an interview with a vampire type of thing, because from what I heard from what they said, Rod could actually do the Brad Pitt interview with the vampire voice exceedingly well, if you hear it in the interview.

[Henry Zabrowski]

He's doing it.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

He's doing the. I don't know. Like, Brad Pitt is a very. It's a specific inflection.

[Marcus Parks]

Do we start? I was born. I was. I grew up. I was at a plantation kind of.

[Henry Zabrowski]

You're more if that's. More if Brad Pitt was a. Was a legendary Broadway matron.

[Marcus Parks]

It's been a long time since I've seen it. So I was just trying to, like.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Let me tell you this. Hands, Brad Pitt. Hands.

[Marcus Parks]

Don't forget to eat something while you're doing it. Oh, yeah. Now, it must be said that this was still a year and a half before Columbine.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yes.

[Marcus Parks]

So goth kids were not necessarily seen as potentially deadly figures just yet. I think Rod just kind of looked like. And the girls didn't like it.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Well, yeah, that's what I discovered. That was like, the problem with being an endomorph and trying to switch over to a goth, like, lifestyle as a teenager. It doesn't feel fit. You have to look the part. Yeah, Look. Have it look good. When you're not born for the goth clothes.

[Marcus Parks]

Well, Rod was born for the goth clothes.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Apparently not.

[Marcus Parks]

But it was the hair. He had frizzy hair, and it was black and it was massive, and it looked like.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I saw it before. He didn't look any worse than. Technically, he looked no worse than what's his name from Danz. He looked no worse than Danzig.

[Ed Larson]

You know, he reeked.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

On his beauty. You know, they didn't have a time to stop and shower.

[Henry Zabrowski]

It was kind of like that. At this time period, though.

[Marcus Parks]

Oh, they were sleeping in the car.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

Or on the side of the road. They camped.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

But while Janine was finding her expectations weren't being Met with Rod. Heather was discovering that Scott Anderson, AKA Nosferatu, was not anywhere near the person that Rod had described when he had given Heather over to be Scott's so called dark mate.

[Ed Larson]

Is that code for fat?

[Marcus Parks]

He actually wasn't. He wasn't a fat kid. He was around my side.

[Henry Zabrowski]

He's just ugly.

[Marcus Parks]

He was just ugly.

[Ed Larson]

Oh, that's sad.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah. You don't even have an excuse to being fat.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

Rod had told Heather that Scott was something like a cross between an action hero and an immortal warrior. But Heather was highly disappointed to discover that Scott was just a dorky 16 year old with frizzy black hair, thick black glasses, and absolutely zero charisma. The kid even wore a fucking cape.

[Henry Zabrowski]

That's just so you know that I'm a vampire. Well, it's a pleasure to meet you, my bride to be. It's been wonderful. Travel has been a bit hard on my stomach and on my. My evacuated system. As you can see my. My constant leaking. But I cannot wait till our wedding night.

[Ed Larson]

Do you have some Dramamine, please, for.

[Henry Zabrowski]

The love of God. I'm filled with liquid shit.

[Marcus Parks]

Oh, wow.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I can see all their reactions. It's always just that.

[Ed Larson]

Oh, wow.

[Marcus Parks]

Hi. You're.

[Ed Larson]

So you.

[Marcus Parks]

You're Scott.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yes, I am so.

[Marcus Parks]

You're Scott. That's.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yes, I am Scott.

[Ed Larson]

Does everyone in Kentucky look like you?

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah, pretty much. Yeah. Most bigger.

[Marcus Parks]

Rod, can I talk to you over here for a second? So you told me that he was kind of like an action hero. Like sort of like what she saying? Scott, just give me a second, okay? Just give me a second. My dark. My dark. You said that Scott was like an action hero.

[Ed Larson]

Does she like me?

[Henry Zabrowski]

He's changed a lot.

[Marcus Parks]

No, he's changed a lot.

[Henry Zabrowski]

He looked different when we left.

[Ed Larson]

I got a new shirt.

[Marcus Parks]

I don't know if I want to go now.

[Henry Zabrowski]

We went to Bucky's. It's his whole personality now.

[Marcus Parks]

At this point, I think that Heather was just a little too wrapped up in the fantasy to back out. And I think she wanted to see just how far she could take this little rebellion. So when Rod told her and Janine that they had to all get on the road to Louisiana as soon as possible because the cops were after them, Heather agreed to go. But before Heather left, she decided to break some of her earthly bonds. And I think this little mini saga shows just how frivolous all of this really was before Rod Ferrell took it to the next level. See, despite being Scott's dark mate, Heather actually Had a boyfriend in Eustace, a regular kid named Jeremy.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Can I just be your white mate? I don't care about splitting.

[Marcus Parks]

So she called him up to tell him that she was gonna leave Florida because Rod had threatened to kill her parents if she didn't. And this wasn't true either. It was just an extension of Heather's fantasy. But Jeremy was an ordinary fucking person. And he had grown quite tired of hearing Heather talk about crystals and magic and how she was actually a reincarnated dem.

[Henry Zabrowski]

So you're gonna move to New Orleans to be a vampire with your vampire clan. That's what you're gonna do. Yeah. Oh. Oh, no. Oh, no. You better stay. I don't know what I'll do without you.

[Marcus Parks]

It's pretty much how it went. You, like, weekly tried talking. It's like, don't go. This sounds stupid. Fine. Who fucking go? Honestly, who cares? Go.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I won't be the one to hold you back. Go and be a bat. I don't care. I honestly, I hope you are a vampire.

[Marcus Parks]

Well, in that really, it does show you how silly all of this is. Of course, if someone is planning to kill their parents, they don't call their boyfriend to break up with them first.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yes. Well, so just remember that, you know, they are. Yes. We think that 16 year olds should probably hire. Be higher functioning than this, but they aren't in this case. So on some level.

[Marcus Parks]

Not really. I mean, I think they're acting exactly how 16 year olds act.

[Henry Zabrowski]

That's what I mean. In terms of, like this 16 year old, she's acting appropriately shallow about this because she doesn't really understand that Rod is. But what the weird thing is, the more and more she says this in not Jess, but like, in fantasy, the more Rod's like, oh, this fantasy can't pop.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Because if this. If the fantasy pops, it's all gone. They leave. Everybody leaves me now, I'm just here with my hair looks like. Obviously I look like.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I mean, I'm like, I'm not supposed to be a goth. I'm supposed to dress like John Mellencamp, you know? And then I'm stuck like this now, and I. So it has to work, you know.

[Ed Larson]

Jeremy was just like, oh, good. I was wanting to ask Francis out on a date.

[Henry Zabrowski]

He was so sick of the whole vibe changing. Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

And so, after breaking up with her boyfriend, Heather wrote a short farewell to her parents and her sister, saying that even though she loved them all very much, she was leaving for good because Janine was running away. And needed someone to look after her. Besides being another lie, Heather's letter does not sound in any way like the words of a girl who's planning on having her parents killed. Honestly, it reads more like the overly dramatic and ultimately unserious suicide note that Lydia writes in Beetlejuice.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I am alone. I am alone.

[Ed Larson]

Man, kids are so stupid.

[Marcus Parks]

Kids, you know, like, especially 16 year olds, they got no clue, ruin everything. Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Hey, but, you know, what would I give to feel those emotions again? Just hard as hell for my math teacher. Now when I get hard for a math teacher, everybody calls the police.

[Marcus Parks]

And so, after Heather quickly packed her things and stole $50 from her dad's wallet, she slunk out of her house and joined the rest of Rod's clan in Scott's Buick, ready to begin her new life as a New Orleans vampire. But tragically, the story of the Kentucky teenage vampire clan would not have been newsworthy at all if not for one small thing. In her haste to pack, Heather had left behind a trinket of some kind that was extremely important to her. So she insisted that she needed to go back and get it. But after much discussion, it was decided that Rod and Scott would go back to get it, lest Heather get caught by her parents.

[Ed Larson]

Do you know what the trinket was?

[Marcus Parks]

It's never been named. Like, I saw it in, like, a. One documentary, and I saw it in a. In one of the books that. That we read, but they just said, like, she left something behind, like a trinket, like, dude, what if it's one.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Of those wolf loves like you saw in the stream? And she's like, I ain't seen its egg. I ain't seen if it's got two or one.

[Ed Larson]

Oh, my God. My Tamagotchi. What if I don't feed it?

[Henry Zabrowski]

I gotta go. I got to go.

[Ed Larson]

I'm a mother.

[Marcus Parks]

Going back for something was stupid for a lot of reasons.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yes.

[Marcus Parks]

And it was even stupider to send Rod and Scott back.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yes.

[Marcus Parks]

But just as Rod and Scott were getting out of the car, Rod almost casually asked Heather and hey, you want me to kill your parents? She said, no, of course not. Just go get the thing and come back. That's all I need you to do. Don't kill my parents. I could not be more clear in saying, don't kill my parents.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I want to be wearing fishnet with a hand grenade on Bourbon street this time tomorrow. Let's go. Come on. Dang it, Shoes.

[Marcus Parks]

Right then Rod said, like, sounds like somebody wants me to kill their parents.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Well, if I'm reading between the lines, which I know I am, because one thing about a dude is that he's always correct.

[Ed Larson]

It's like when a chick says, like, I don't want anything for Christmas, but, like, they really want something for Christmas.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Every time. I heated up, okay, we had four pieces of pizza left in the refrigerator the other day. We had two regular pieces, two mushroom pizza. What do I know? Natalie's favorite pizza is the mushroom pizza. She said to me, hey. I was like, I'll eat. I'm making food. I'll heat up the pizza for you and you can have it. So she's like, don't worry about it. I can handle it myself. And guess what? I did. Insisted that I knew what she wanted. I heated up the two pieces of mushroom. I brought it to her. See, look how great your husband is. She's like, wrong pizza, Idiot. That's the wrong fucking pizza. You're wrong again. She didn't say idiot. Obviously is you. Very nice.

[Marcus Parks]

She should have.

[Henry Zabrowski]

But I. But it's like even me being nice. I was wrong. Yep, entirely.

[Marcus Parks]

Dude, she told you very clearly she didn't want the pizza.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I was trying to be fucking nice and try to anticipate my wife's needs.

[Marcus Parks]

But she told you what she needed instead.

[Ed Larson]

He just wasted a bunch of pizza.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Joe, stand in a trap. I can't. Why are my boners illegal?

[Marcus Parks]

But for reasons that are still unclear.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I think that's a sad vampire, by the way.

[Marcus Parks]

But for reasons that are still unclear, I think even to Rod himself, he had decided in that moment that he was indeed going to kill Heather's parents, whether she wanted it to happen or not. So Rod took off on foot back towards Heather's home as Scott Anderson, AKA Nosferatu, followed close behind.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I'll be right back by bride, do not be too lonely without me.

[Marcus Parks]

I shall return to your house and I, as the night will do, be sure to obtain the treasure which my fair lady has left behind.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Get the out of the car, Scott. It's Nosferatu. Your fucking name.

[Marcus Parks]

Scott Nosferatu Anderson. Now, Rod and Scott arrived at Heather's home at around 9pm fully intending to break in. But when they found the garage door unlocked, they simply walked inside. So again, gotta give this psa. Always lock your doors, no matter what.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I hate it.

[Marcus Parks]

Do you think the Windorfs expected a couple of teenage vampires to break into their house and kill them? No.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Especially not because vampires are supposed to have permission.

[Marcus Parks]

That's right.

[Ed Larson]

Oh, yeah. So they really weren't vampires, exactly.

[Marcus Parks]

Oh, they're about to break a lot of rules.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, already.

[Marcus Parks]

Now, we don't know if Rod told Scott on the way to the house that they were going to kill Heather's parents or if he waited until they arrived. But once they were inside the garage, Rod said that it was going to be Scott's job to take out the mom, while Rod would take care of Heather's father.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I don't really understand. I'm already betrothed to my beloved. I don't want to take out her mother. I don't understand.

[Marcus Parks]

Nosferatu. If. If you want your dark mate to truly be your darkmate.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I love that.

[Marcus Parks]

Forever, then you must free her from her earthly bonds and free her mother's soul from this world.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Through the legal system, through the court system. Get her. Get her released.

[Ed Larson]

What happens if she tries to kiss me?

[Marcus Parks]

Should I kiss her back? I think maybe I should kiss her back.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Just kill her parents.

[Marcus Parks]

Now, neither one of them brought weapons, but the average American garage is full of implements that are suitable for a brutal murder. Incredibly, though, Rod passed over a machete, an axe.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Nope.

[Marcus Parks]

And a chainsaw.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Too dumb.

[Marcus Parks]

As he later said, those weapons would have been, quote, too messy.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Oh, sure.

[Marcus Parks]

So Rod chose a simple crowbar as his instrument of death that night.

[Ed Larson]

Clean as hell.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah. This is going to make it look like an accident.

[Marcus Parks]

My. Likewise, Scott chose a similar blunt instrument, a wooden club. But I think their choice of weapons says a couple of things. First, I think it says that these kids did not have an inborn appetite for the sort of blood and guts that they've been talking shit about for a year. Because it really does take a rare type to truly revel in gore from the very beginning. Second, I think that Rod's choice of a crowbar bolsters his claim that this was absolutely a spur of the moment decision. And that it had far more to do with Rod being being an overly angry sociopath than with him believing he was a vampire. If this was a vampire decision, something involving roleplay, then I think it's obvious that he would have made it a part of his lore, and he would have put far more planning into the act. Because what else was gonna make his vampire character more real than actually killing someone?

[Henry Zabrowski]

My belief is that it was spur of the moment, but it was something he was waiting for. Some window of opportunity to do. The right moment, because was he knew none of them. Let's just say I'm going to make a conjecture that none of them were 100% sold. That new Orleans was going to work out. Right. That they were going to get in that car. And it seemed like a fun idea for a while. And I'm certain they're like, well, we'll see how far we get and we'll go. And like, I could see it being like a thing. And I think that Rod, even more than just like, obviously the need to kill and the want to kill, I do believe he viewed this as a way of. This makes it permanent. Now we can't come back now we have to go. And they all belong to me. She has to come with me now because I've killed her family.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

I think if there was like even one half a snafu, none of this happens.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

But it just kind of worked out perfectly for him to just like do it.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Technically, I think the first leaving point was the first moment, you know what I mean? Like, I bet you when they're all first together, he's sitting there charging himself up. Maybe I go kill her parents now. And then they're like, all right, let's get in the car and go. And then I bet you it missed it in that moment. And we would have maybe had if she didn't have to go back.

[Marcus Parks]

That's exactly what I said. She didn't. If she didn't, if she hadn't forgotten that one little thing, they would have just driven off and it would have just been another. It wouldn't have been, it wouldn't have been newsworthy.

[Henry Zabrowski]

He might have killed a drifter or something.

[Marcus Parks]

Seriously, I don't know. Or Rod may have killed somebody later on, like in some sort of like meth fueled argument. But they definitely wouldn't. There definitely wouldn't have been this story.

[Ed Larson]

I think if he ever got into a real fight, he would definitely got his ass.

[Henry Zabrowski]

He did.

[Marcus Parks]

Yes. Stephen Murphy beat the shit out of him.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

Remember? Fucking took him up by his throat like baby bim.

[Ed Larson]

Bad beast.

[Marcus Parks]

Fucking ass. Remember that? He, he, he got beat up every single time. But the thing is about him like making it real, murdering someone, that's actually what made it real. And that was the problem.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Oh, yes.

[Marcus Parks]

Now, once Rod and Scott were inside the house, Rod cut the phone cord and whispered an order to Scott to go check out the main bedroom for Heather's mother Ruth. But in the end, cutting the phone line was entirely unnecessary.

[Ed Larson]

Ain't no one call it.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah, they just saw that. A movie.

[Marcus Parks]

So even though Rod had volunteered for the seemingly harder target of Heather's father, Richard Windorf had done the stereotypical dad thing that night by falling asleep on the couch before 9pm so he was out cold in the living room when Rod found him. As such, the 49 year old Richard Windorf never stood a chance against the 16 year old rod. And once Scott returned from searching the bedroom having found no one, Rod finally took someone's life after talking about it for so long. Long. As Scott Anderson stood and watched, Rod smashed Richard's face with the crowbar more than 20 times, using enough force to send bone fragments flying into the adjoining room. By the end of it, Richard's head was, in the words of author Aphrodite Jones, hamburger meat.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Hi. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to step in the middle of this murder scene. It's me. I investigate reporter Aphrodite Jones. I don't want to ask you one question. Is that 90% that lean?

[Marcus Parks]

Now, some might say that it's a bit insensitive to say that this is hamburger meat on this man's face, but.

[Henry Zabrowski]

If you want to see real ground chicken survives. I saw a picture of Aphrodite Jones. Hot woman.

[Ed Larson]

Really attractive.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Oh yeah, hot, hot woman. Right in the wheelhouse.

[Marcus Parks]

Wow.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Right in the MILF category.

[Ed Larson]

If you're going to call yourself Aphrodite, you have to be attractive.

[Henry Zabrowski]

No, you could be big and awful. That's also just as. That is just as awful off. Like totally acceptable.

[Marcus Parks]

It could go either way. Really.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I'm proud of her. Yeah, yeah, I am too.

[Ed Larson]

She's now filing a restraining order.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Good, good. It shows I. You love me now.

[Marcus Parks]

By the time Rod was done with Richard's face, it had been bashed so thoroughly that according to the county coroner, a woman with the curious name of Dr. Laura Hare, Richard was entirely unidentifiable.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Hello, my name is Dr. Hare. I don't even know if this is a person. Is this ground chicken or 90% lean hamburger meat?

[Ed Larson]

Let me call my friend Dr. Teeth.

[Marcus Parks]

But once Rod was done with the face, he took the crowbar and used the sharp tip to stab it through Richard's chest. Because in the end, I suppose Rod did have quite the thirst for blood. Once he got a taste for it, he turned this scene into an absolute blood bloodbath. Scott Anderson, meanwhile, continued to stare in silent disbelief. Now, this was either a large house or Ruth Windorf had terrible hearing because she'd been in the kitchen making herself a cup of coffee this entire time.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I just think it's the power, power of a, let's just say a spouse to ignore what's happening in the other room. Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

A broken percolator, you know, a shitty microwave. You never know.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. They've got like two teenage kids, like noises from the other room. You are focused on that cup of coffee and that cup of coffee is going to solve all your problems better. And once Rod had killed Richard Windorf, though, he and Scott wandered the house looking for Ruth. After they found her standing in the kitchen with a fresh cup of coffee, Ruth was highly confused at the sight of a blood covered teenager with the crowbar. Because. Because all Ruth managed to ask was if Rod and Scott were Heather's friends. Who are you? But when Rod told her to shut up while advancing towards her, Ruth went into full survival mode. She threw the hot cup of coffee on Rod and sent him to the floor in pain.

[Henry Zabrowski]

It must be holy coffee.

[Ed Larson]

Is he still like playing? Is he still. I think he's a vampire.

[Henry Zabrowski]

No, they're not. Good, man. They're just not good at it at this point.

[Marcus Parks]

I think they've dropped the vampire thing and they're in there. I mean he's in murder fantasy mode.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

And once he was on the ground, Ruth started scratching at him with her nails. Scott, meanwhile, still just stood there saying absolutely nothing, as if he'd wandered into someone else's dream. But Rod was still a fairly strong 16 year old boy, so he managed to get up and kick Ruth Windorf in the chest. She was knocked to the ground and once she was down, Scott reined the crowbar down into her her face 16 times, beating the skull so hard that he left a 3 inch wide indentation where the brain had been cut all the way through. By the time Rod was done, he used either the tip of the crowbar or the claw to partially decapitate Heather's mother. Through it all, Scott Anderson had done absolutely nothing. And he still stood there dumbfounded as Rod stood over Ruth Windorf's body, breathing heavily.

[Ed Larson]

God, man, he's just like, I have made some incorrect choices.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I should have picked up that Prometheus Unbound game.

[Marcus Parks]

Now, the first thing Rod did after killing Ruth Windorf was pose a question to Scott as to what they should do with the bodies. Having no idea what he was supposed to say, Scott mumbled that maybe they could throw them in the pool.

[Ed Larson]

No one will find them there.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah, bodies go in pools. Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

He had like, Scott's just sort of, he's just mumbling. I don't know, Whatever, whatever you want. Put him in the pool like he's blank.

[Ed Larson]

He's a ghost at this point.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. Eventually though, Rod and Scott decided it was better to just ransack the house for money and valuables and leave. But while Scott was searching for cash and jewelry in utter shock, Rod lit a cigarette and use the ember to burn a V for Vampire in the chest of Richard Windorf's corpse.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Wouldn't it be for Vassago?

[Marcus Parks]

You know what? It probably is for Vassago.

[Ed Larson]

Probably.

[Marcus Parks]

I didn't think about that. I thought. I immediately thought V for Vampire. But it's probably. Probably V for Vassago.

[Henry Zabrowski]

He's Vassago.

[Marcus Parks]

He's Vassago.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah. He's his calling card.

[Marcus Parks]

You're right, Henry, you are fucking correct.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I know. Dickheads through and through.

[Marcus Parks]

But while that's incredibly embarrassing, perhaps the dumbest part of this whole saga is that even though these two kids have spent all this time talking about being vampires, neither one of them even attempted to drink the blood of the people Rod had just killed.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Just unfucked believable for later. Yeah, nothing. Even scooping your hands.

[Marcus Parks]

But I think this again tells you this had nothing to do with vampire role playing and everything to do with Rod Ferrell taking advantage of a moment.

[Ed Larson]

Also, you know, old people blood is grosser.

[Marcus Parks]

It is gross.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Thinner. Yeah, it's all the. The thinners. The blood thinners.

[Marcus Parks]

Now, once Rod and Scott left the house, they lamely wrote the number 666 in dust on the garage door.

[Ed Larson]

That didn't with Scott's allergies.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Actually, now that you say that, I guess that is why I thought I was feeling emotions. No, I am having an allergic reaction to the garage.

[Ed Larson]

I'll take an extra claret and everything should be fine.

[Marcus Parks]

You know, people say that they don't give a lot of attention to dust bite allergies, but dust bite allergies are. They could be quite serious if you don't.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Silent killer.

[Marcus Parks]

They then stole Richard's brand new Ford Explorer and drove it to a gas station to get cleaned up because they were covered in dust. Blood. Once there, they took off their blood covered clothes and hosed each other off in what I think is the loneliest gas station in Florida.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Nothing like a couple of naked teenage vampires washing each other in the full light of the afternoon.

[Marcus Parks]

It's 9pm It's. It's 9pm It'S. It's night. It's night.

[Ed Larson]

That's how annoying they are. They're covered in blood, washing themselves off in front of everyone and no one cares.

[Henry Zabrowski]

They're like, just get, just get done already.

[Marcus Parks]

They then doused their clothes and gas before carrying them out to the woods to burn all of the bloody evidence, save the crowbar, which was hosed off as well and taken with them.

[Ed Larson]

I'm so surprised they didn't light themselves on fire.

[Marcus Parks]

I really wish they would have. Then, presumably wearing just their underwear, Rod and Scott drove Richard Windorf's Ford Explorer back to the spot where the rest of the clan was still waiting in Scott's Buick Skylark.

[Henry Zabrowski]

You're new to car ownership. Have you driven in your underwear yet?

[Marcus Parks]

Dude? Yeah, I'm not new to car ownership. I've been driving since I was 12.

[Henry Zabrowski]

But I mean, you had. You didn't have a car for a long time. But I'm saying, have you driven in a car since? In new, modern iteration, currently.

[Marcus Parks]

Oh, I mean, when I driven in.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Your underwear since being a man when.

[Marcus Parks]

I was a teenager, I did it.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Do it now. I did it the other day. I had to move the car. Right. See my underwear, man.

[Ed Larson]

Damn. I feel like I would have to go further than I needed to be.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah, dude. It's powerful, man.

[Marcus Parks]

I bet it is.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Drive in your underwear, man. Just a hat.

[Marcus Parks]

All right, I'll try it.

[Ed Larson]

Are you allowed to drive naked?

[Henry Zabrowski]

No.

[Ed Larson]

Really?

[Henry Zabrowski]

They get angry.

[Ed Larson]

Even though you're technically inside, it's nothing but windows.

[Marcus Parks]

I think you can. I think it's cuz people can see in from up top or from down below. Yeah, yeah. You're not supposed to drive naked on.

[Ed Larson]

The next door app. Someone, like, filmed somebody jerking off in their car. But then, like, and then, like, everyone got really mad. Like, it was the biggest, like, fight I've ever seen. Because, like, half of the people, like, like, you filmed him without his permission. Like, me in my head, I'm like.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I scratch my nuts all the time.

[Ed Larson]

I bet it looks like I'm jerking off.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Well, are you doing it and smiling while looking at your phone? Yeah. Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

Well, for 10 minutes, yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

My nuts are huge. And roll.

[Marcus Parks]

Now, Ron and Scott knew full well that Heather likely wouldn't enjoy what they just done. So they made the decision to tell Dana and Charity that Rod had committed the murders as soon as they could. But they were going to hold off on telling Heather until she was, quote, unquote, ready. But when Rod and Scott pulled up in Heather's dad's car wearing just their underwear, she very quickly realized that they had probably at the very least hurt her parents. Rod, however, refused to tell her what happened at all. He instead told her, quote, I'm your parents now.

[Ed Larson]

So stupid.

[Marcus Parks]

So dumb. I'm your parents now.

[Ed Larson]

Your plural parents.

[Marcus Parks]

Yes.

[Ed Larson]

Fucking idiot.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I'm Mommy, I'm daddy. I'm also Uncle Rod.

[Ed Larson]

Scott's.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Well, who am I? You're baby. You're the little baby. You go.

[Marcus Parks]

Now. The plan was to pick up Heather first, then head over to the home of Rod's other Florida vampire paramour, Janine leclair, so they could pick her up as well before going to New Orleans. But when the clan showed up at Janine's house, Janine, she wasn't packed, nor was she even mentally prepared to go anywhere. Janine was in her pajamas.

[Ed Larson]

But this is real.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah, literally, like, I didn't know you guys were actually going to do this.

[Marcus Parks]

From what it seems like she was still thinking that everything was just pretend.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah, cuz it. It was like three hours ago.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. But even though she said that she could be ready to go in 20, 20 minutes, Rod declared that they couldn't wait. Because I think that Rod sussed out what Janine's real plan was when she began to stall for time. See, as soon as the vampire clan left Janine's house, Janine told her mother all about Heather's plan to run away to Louisiana with these kids from Kentucky who all believed they were vampires. Which I'm sure was a shock to hear almost.

[Henry Zabrowski]

She was like, have I heard it once? I've heard it 95 times.

[Marcus Parks]

Kids never change.

[Henry Zabrowski]

You know, I met your friends father, a fledgling warlock. He told me, if you looked at my crystal ball, I'll show you the future. And when, next thing I know, he was nutting inside of me and my future was carrying you, child.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. That story deserves no ice in the string.

[Marcus Parks]

But when Janine's mother drove over to the Windorf house to check on Heather after getting no answer on the phone, she was even more shocked to find that the place was already crawling with police officers, because Heather's older sister had very quickly discovered the mutilated bodies of her parents. Now, as we've said, one of the reasons why we're covering this story so extensively is because of how terrible of a job the media did back then and how badly of a job documentary filmmakers are still doing with this story today. See, the errors that the media made and the falsehoods they published concerning the story, they began almost immediately following the discovery of the bodies. And each error or lie only begat more errors and lies. For example, it was reported almost immediately that Janine LeClaire had been taken in for questioning and that gunpowder residue was found on her hands, even though Janine was the one who'd sounded the alarm. And no gun was even used in the commission of the crime.

[Ed Larson]

Well, she masturbates with bullets.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yes. It's different in Eustace.

[Marcus Parks]

Florida. Is a crime.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yes.

[Ed Larson]

Yes.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Because that's rape on a gun.

[Ed Larson]

Guns have rights. Guns are people.

[Marcus Parks]

That's right. Did this gun consent.

[Ed Larson]

Seems to be jammed.

[Marcus Parks]

Before long, the local police had leaked the full story as they understood it to the press. And that's very important. As they understood it, that story was that Heather Windorf had murdered her parents and run off with a so called vampire coven. The press of course, ate it up because it finally seemed to confirm the satanic panic fairy tale that they've been trying to push for years. As a result, Oprah and Barbara Walters were calling the leclair family for interviews about Janine's involvement in this satanic vampire cult. And the media attention quickly caused Janine LeClaire to have a total mental breakdown that got her hospitalized for a period of time. Now, seriously, I mean, think about this for a second. Second. Three days ago, Janine Lir was playing vampire with her friend Heather and some kid from Kentucky. That's Thursday, Monday. Oprah is calling you.

[Ed Larson]

It's crazy.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah, dude, because that loves vampires. She's still obsessed with that stuff. She's got people, you guys. She's classy now, but she's got five little people dressed as Hitler in a closet somewhere waiting to be released.

[Ed Larson]

They really do come for the victims whenever happens, man. It's insane.

[Marcus Parks]

They really do.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I remember they're ghouls. The press are ghouls.

[Ed Larson]

This happened at my house. I don't think I've ever told this story before.

[Henry Zabrowski]

The.

[Ed Larson]

So the Gainesville Ripper.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Danny Rowling, that one of the people.

[Ed Larson]

He killed, Last name Larson, from my town. They weren't in the phone book.

[Henry Zabrowski]

We were.

[Ed Larson]

We woke up press on my lawn.

[Marcus Parks]

Holy shit.

[Ed Larson]

Like.

[Marcus Parks]

Like we.

[Ed Larson]

I woke. It was like I was like seven, something like that. I don't remember the exact.

[Henry Zabrowski]

How do you feel when you saw your sister get her tits cut off? Tell me to Winter, did you know your sister's tits were cut off?

[Ed Larson]

My mother went crazy on them. She was throwing at him.

[Henry Zabrowski]

She's like, you leave that family alone.

[Ed Larson]

You're all fucking she. I think she called them vampire.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Like.

[Ed Larson]

I was so proud of her.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Wow.

[Marcus Parks]

I guess that was probably a formative experience for you.

[Ed Larson]

It really was really cool. I thought that was like the first time, like my mom's fucking cool. Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

Well, let's get back to Rod and his clan. Immediately after they left Janine's house.

[Henry Zabrowski]

None of that.

[Marcus Parks]

Once the vampire convoy of Heather's dad's Ford Explorer and Scott Anderson's Buick Skylark got clear of Eustace, they all pulled over to the side of the road. Rod announced that they were ditching the Buick. So Dana.

[Henry Zabrowski]

So stupid. Because the other one's the missing vehicle. They should have kept the vehicle.

[Marcus Parks]

Nobody knew what they had changed the. They had switched the license plates between the Buick and the Ford Explorer.

[Henry Zabrowski]

It doesn't matter. It's a Ford Explorer. It's still the car.

[Marcus Parks]

Yes, it worked. It totally work.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Everyone's moral.

[Ed Larson]

Are you telling me the middle of central Florida cops, they couldn't pull this off?

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah, I know.

[Marcus Parks]

They got stopped like twice, and nobody said anything but once he said, we got to switch the cars. Dana, who had packed seven bags, was ordered to leave half of her stuff behind.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Oh, no. What am I going to wear for Marty Gr. Oh, no. But about. About bone tones. I thought we could going to have some bound town.

[Ed Larson]

It's like Spaceball city.

[Henry Zabrowski]

She doesn't look j.

[Marcus Parks]

Just as Dana was choosing which outfit she couldn't live without, Heather began saying that they couldn't take the Explorer because her parents were going to kill her if they couldn't find their new car.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

Now, Scott and Rod had already told Charity and Dana what they'd done at some point that night, probably while Heather was trying to convince Janine to run away with them to New Orleans.

[Henry Zabrowski]

So listen, we killed the parrots just so you ever get. Yes, absolutely. I would love a McFlurry.

[Marcus Parks]

Well, Charity, she'd been struggling with keeping this information from Heather for hours. So finally, when Heather started yammering on about, oh, my parents are gonna kill me if they don't get the car back. Charity said, you know, to put it.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Bluntly, your parents are dead. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She's like, dead tired.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, I know.

[Henry Zabrowski]

My daddy works hard and my mama needs to retire.

[Ed Larson]

He likes sleeping on the couch.

[Marcus Parks]

No, Dead. No, I mean. And Heather was stunned. She told Charity, stop messing around. But Charity was like, no, seriously, like, Rod killed your parents. I know he lies about killing people all the time, but I think this time he really did do it.

[Ed Larson]

What a gossip.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. Keep it to yourself, Charity.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Hey there, Charlie.

[Marcus Parks]

Well, the only. I think the only. I was thinking about this. Why they believed him. I think the only reason why they did believe him this time is because Scott was like, yeah, he killed them.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Oh, I think changed. Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

Scott's probably a ghost, yo.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, absolutely. And so Heather crammed herself into her dead father's Ford Explorer in a nearly catatonic state with the other four pretend vampires. They continued on until they finally pulled off the highway and slept overnight somewhere near Tallahassee. Once rested, they woke up and visited the hallowed vampiric feeding ground that was the Tallahassee Walmart.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Man, that's where I got my DVDs at midnight, dude. Smoking bongs in my car, don't know where I am.

[Ed Larson]

Dude, man, there's a Taco Bell out front.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah, dude.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, man. You ever seen Taxi driver? No. It's 1am Time to go to Walmart super center and buy that dvd.

[Henry Zabrowski]

God, I miss being young and filled with life.

[Marcus Parks]

And there they procured vampiric sustenance in the form of Doritos and more Little Debbies.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yes, I love my Debbie when she's little and filled with cream.

[Marcus Parks]

Once the crew got to Alabama, Heather was doing quite poorly. She'd found her father's pocket knife in the car, and during a stop, she actually tried to use it to stab Scott Anderson, not only for being involved in the murder of her parents, but also, presumably for being such a massive disappointment.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Rule for dominate, put the do. Put the knife down. Rule for dominate, put the knife down.

[Marcus Parks]

Well, the longer that Heather was around her so called dark mate, the more she realized that Scott Anderson was incredibly stupid and that he was in the end, just some dork who was playing dress up.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yes, exactly.

[Ed Larson]

Yes, that's what they're all supposed to be.

[Marcus Parks]

But Heather was still somewhat in the fantasy because after Scott wrestled the pocket knife away, Charity told Heather, you're probably just grumpy because you need to feed. So Charity cut her arm with the wrist razor blade and held the wound to Heather, who lapped up the blood and quote, felt a bit better.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Oh, these poor, poor dorks and idiots.

[Marcus Parks]

Well, they're just going back. They keep. You can see at this moment they're just going back and forth between like child's going on for stability. But then also like, okay, let's stick to the fantasy because the fantasy again.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Makes it feel non real. Yeah, we're back in the non real.

[Ed Larson]

Just hoping they're gonna wake up from a dream and some, you know, because it's all became very real very fast.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Oh, we all know that. We've all had like a weird thing happen that's actually sor of like your worst nightmare and you're watching it unfold in front of you and it's completely real and you wonder if you'll wake up or not.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

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[Marcus Parks]

What?

[Henry Zabrowski]

You know what doesn't belong in your epic summer plans?

[Ed Larson]

What doesn't belong in my epic summer plans?

[Henry Zabrowski]

Getting burned by your old wireless bill.

[Ed Larson]

Oh, my gosh, it burns me all the time.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I know. It's like Haloa.

[Ed Larson]

So hot.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Hot. While you're planning beach trips, barbecues, and three day weekends, your wireless bill should be the last thing holding you back.

[Ed Larson]

Well, what should be holding me back?

[Henry Zabrowski]

Probably. I would say you're. You got problems with, you know, the. You have acid reflux. Yeah. You got some problems consuming dairy.

[Ed Larson]

I can barely swim.

[Henry Zabrowski]

You are afraid of loud noises.

[Ed Larson]

I hate loud noises.

[Henry Zabrowski]

You're afraid of being outside, but otherwise. But otherwise, you're good to go. And that's why you got to make the switch to Mint Mobile.

[Ed Larson]

So fresh.

[Henry Zabrowski]

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[Marcus Parks]

As far as what the group talked about on their road trip, Rod took the opportunity to monologue about New Orleans. How the witch doctors and voodoo queens of the city would set them all up with housing where they'd interact with ghosts and werewolves, who all had respect for Rod and his vampiric family.

[Henry Zabrowski]

You remember those werewolves who we met at Parker Boys Parkway? Parkway Boys Parkway Boys. When we went, we got those true po boys 12 inches. Oh, full of sick.

[Marcus Parks]

Well, from what it seems like Rod was expanding his lore in real time, of course, saying that he'd lived in New Orleans for centuries in the past, I suppose between 15th century and Murray, Kentucky. That's in the time between he was in New Orleans. That's. He just kind of added that on.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Definitely. He was there when it was the swamp.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. Basically Rod was still playing the game and he even gave his group somewhat of a mission. He warned his clan that when they got to New Orleans, they were going to have to pass through a powerful werewolf clan's territory that encircled the territory controlled by his vampiric family. In New Orleans.

[Ed Larson]

No one in this entire ride once yelled the word shut up.

[Henry Zabrowski]

No, because now he's a murderer. The thing is, now he's a murderer.

[Marcus Parks]

Well, I mean, it's starting to wear off. The luster of the vampire lifestyle is starting to wear off. By this point, the murder, it had been. It's too much of a shock. Like someone actually died and everyone just sort of gave Rod like a. Yeah, yeah, sounds great, Vassago.

[Henry Zabrowski]

It's not great. It's very terrifying. We're about to enter into war with the werewolves. Yeah, right.

[Marcus Parks]

Just tell me when we get to. Or Vassago, tell me when we get to werewolves and we'll take care of it.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Before we get to New Orleans, I have to go pick up some dark chocolate. It is the werewolves ultimate weapon. Silver. Yes. That's folklore. Dark chocolate. That'll kill a werewolf in 12 hours.

[Marcus Parks]

No. It took Rod and his vampire clan four days to make it from Eustace, Florida to Louisiana.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Nine hour drive.

[Ed Larson]

Nine hour drive.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Teenagers being idiots. Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

But on November 28th, they finally arrived in New Orleans. But while one might think that the environs of America's greatest goth city would invigorate the group, that's actually where the veil began to slip.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Ah, yes.

[Marcus Parks]

See, as I said, the murdered sort of shocked everyone out of their fantasy. And they were all very suddenly aware that they were just a bunch of. Of kids with nowhere to go. They were dirty, they were tired, and there wasn't an ounce of romance to anything they were doing. And not only that, New Orleans is an intimidating city. Like I went, like I went to New Orleans for the first time as like a full grown adult in my late 30s. And I was like, this place is like, there's like I gotta, you you feel like you're entering into another world, like, but it feels like you got to treat this place with respect. But it's a very intimidating place.

[Henry Zabrowski]

You have to keep your head on a GD swivel in New Orleans. And it's also. It's not a.

[Marcus Parks]

It's not that it's dangerous.

[Ed Larson]

In the 90s, it was.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, yeah, 90s.

[Ed Larson]

It was very scary.

[Henry Zabrowski]

But unfortunately, it is definitely a city like most of the United States of America, that takes money to do things inside it.

[Ed Larson]

Oh, my God. When you're a kid and you go on vacation with your friends and you got no money, nothing sadder, dude.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Me and my buddies walking around somewhere.

[Ed Larson]

Cool, and you can't afford anything.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Me and my buddies, when we were 20, we drove to Vegas and we just walked around. Yeah, it was just like us, like, you know, doing. We found airplane bottles of liquor, drank those.

[Marcus Parks]

Eventually, the group began talking amongst themselves when Rod wasn't around, and Charity told the rest of the crew. And I don't know if this is true or not, but at the very least tells you that the cracks are starting to form. She told the rest of the crew that Rod had pretty much kidnapped her before the trip by threatening to knock her out with a baseball bat if she didn't go with him. Florida willingly.

[Ed Larson]

She's like, oh, I need to start lying. I need to start getting. I. I'm not a part of this.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah, yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

She. She's starting to separate herself from the whole thing in small ways. Since the $50 they'd stolen from Heather's father had long since gone to gas. Doritos and Little Debbies.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Should have got some Big Debbies.

[Marcus Parks]

Rod led his vampire clan in a burglary in New Orleans, which. Hell of a gamble.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Oh, yeah, buddy. Especially the way they did it.

[Marcus Parks]

Well, the house appeared to be vacant, but they did find hot dogs, bread, mustard, and juice, which sustained their vampiric forms for a little while longer.

[Henry Zabrowski]

They stole food from homeless people.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. But more importantly, and this is. Man, they were very lucky that these people weren't home. Rod also found a bow and arrow and a shotgun.

[Henry Zabrowski]

People in New Orleans don't around. They kill you old school. They'll kill you with a trident. Like, where the did you get an old cannon from?

[Marcus Parks]

My grandpabby had this cannon since 1631.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Cannonball in the hole.

[Marcus Parks]

Well, after getting the shotgun from that point forward, Rod would ride in the Ford Explorer with the weapon in his lap. He'd brag, if any fucking cops try to arrest me, I'M gonna blast him with his fucking shotgun. Just fucking try me.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Great. F.

[Marcus Parks]

Once armed, the clan headed into New Orleans proper, where they invaded the famous St. Louis Cemetery to perform an incredibly long and incredibly goofy blood ritual to mark the beginning of their new vampiric lives in what is undoubtedly the true vampire capital of America.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Legitimately, that's the closest thing that they've done to something almost vaguely cool once, you know what I mean?

[Marcus Parks]

Like in this whole break into St. Louis Cemetery at night to do a.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Ritual that is the closest thing that they've done to remotely being vampire.

[Ed Larson]

Like, almost makes it all worth it.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah. You know? Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

Once they arrived at St. Louis Cemetery, the clan performed the so called ritual of walking.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I believe that's written by Phil Collins.

[Marcus Parks]

In which Rod and Scott wandered the outer boundaries of the cemetery, then crossed through it to form the shape of a pentagram. If we were going to actually do a pentagram, I believe that I must walk at a 45 degree angle. You're walking at a believe a 90 degree angle, which is not correct.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I think that we need to get out of here soon. I see some people watching us from the shanties.

[Ed Larson]

I've only done the star. We still need the circle.

[Marcus Parks]

Then Rod stood at the cemetery's main gate. And this is one of my favorite details of this whole story. He stood at the cemetery's main gate and flapped around his black trench coat to give himself the shape of a dark angel. Because Rod claimed that all of his coat flapping would beckon wandering demons.

[Ed Larson]

It's like when you were hanging out with those kids and they would just go stare off into the nothing to pretend like they were introspective.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Oh, yeah, Very much so. But he had to do something.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. Now, they had arrived in New Orleans on Thanksgiving Day. So after cutting his hand and smearing an upside down cross on the cemetery's gate, Rod recited Thanksgiving to the ancient Mesopotamian God of the moon.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Thank you for cornbread. Thank you for cranberry sauce. Thank you for giblets. Thank you for my mama's grandma craving.

[Marcus Parks]

This is at Thanksgiving to Nana Suyin, which he had decided was their God of evil.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Oh, sure, sure, yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

And once he set the mood, Rod led his coven in an absurdly long ritual in which they offered fresh blood to the so called horned one and read from the entirely fictional Necronomicon, which Rod had purchased from the evil bookstore that was Walden Books.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yes, yes. A bookstore change. So, so vile, so derogatory to the spirit of God, that It had to be put in Westfields only. Yes. Walden Books. The most forbidden of places to get the Necronomicon. A mass produced fake book. I, I remember when I first bought my first Necronomicon. I thought I was so dark, of course.

[Marcus Parks]

And not knowing at all that it's a complete work of fiction.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I thought it was so dark. I thought I was. My soul was damned.

[Marcus Parks]

Hell, I did love Walden Books. I mean, it's where I first read Fangoria, where I found a lot. I, I. Walden Books was my second. When I was a kid, it was my favorite place that. In Hastings.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah, I always go to Barnes and Noble in our town. Everywhere. Get, you know, we get our frappuccinos, and then they'd yell at us to leave.

[Marcus Parks]

That's nice.

[Ed Larson]

I didn't read.

[Marcus Parks]

Now, once the news of the vampire clan murders went national, just about everybody in both Murray, Kentucky and Eustace, Florida came forward with stories about Ro Feral and the various members of his inner circle.

[Ed Larson]

We hate him.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Kill him.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

All right.

[Marcus Parks]

Now, you'd think these stories would show investigators how goofy these kids really were. But the tales the other teenagers told only served to frighten the powers that be even more. For example, one kid in Kentucky who'd been friends with Rod said that Rod had once asked him if he had ever quote partaketh in the nectar. Meaning had he ever drank blood.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Oh, my God, he must be thousands of years old. That Shakespeare toe partake.

[Marcus Parks]

Have you ever heard that word being used?

[Henry Zabrowski]

I saw it once in a. And it was in an old English themed pornography film. And it said, will you partaketh of my d.

[Marcus Parks]

And additionally, this kid claimed that Rod would actually transform into a vampire. Yeah, but when the kid was pressed on what that transformation entailed, the friend admitted that Rod would just put on black clothes and paint his fingernails in order to transform into a one pair.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Who knew that these tools of the devil were so easily accessible by makeup stores? Cannot believe.

[Marcus Parks]

Call the local mall and have them close down Claire's.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Have them close down that. That sultry home of the devil, the Delta of Satan.

[Ed Larson]

Do not pierce my ears with wood.

[Henry Zabrowski]

It hurts.

[Marcus Parks]

If there is a Gadzooks also open, have them close it down as well.

[Henry Zabrowski]

But. And if there's a. There's a sex piece. Could you stop by and get me a bucket?

[Ed Larson]

Hello. Thank you for. I would like to take a job application at Sabaros. There's no garlic here.

[Marcus Parks]

Right. But while Rod's friend in Kentucky was just a harmless goth trying to tell the truth. It was the ordinary people in Florida, namely the other teenage girls from Heather Windorf School who ended up being most harmful in their fake testimonies.

[Henry Zabrowski]

No way.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. One young girl told investigators that the 15 year old heather Windorf had actually. Do you know Heather hired a hitman to kill her parents? That's what she told me. She told me she hired a hitman.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Oh, yeah, definitely. Kids know how to do that.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

Especially in Eustace, Florida.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Very much so.

[Marcus Parks]

Well, I don't know, man. If there's anywhere that a 15 year old could find and hire a hitman, it's a Florida lake town.

[Henry Zabrowski]

It's not a hitman. It's not a hitman. Okay. A hitman is like, is John Wick. Like this is literally some guy who'll just do it to a 15 year old girl.

[Marcus Parks]

Yep. Another girl went into great detail about how Heather, you know, like, Heather told me she's been plotting to murder her parents. Like she's been thinking about like for a while.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Like for a while. Oh, wow. She said stuff like, I hate my parents and like my dad doesn't get me.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Many times.

[Marcus Parks]

Yet another girl with the coincidental name of Ember Blood.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Period blood.

[Marcus Parks]

She had a massive satanic narrative all her own. She said that Heather, she said that she was gonna kill. Like I've known Heather for like two years. Like we talk on the film like all the time. And Heather said that she was gonna have her parents killed, like by this vampire because their parents like loved her sister more than her. And her sister's like a fucking cheerleader and she sucks. And Heather was a vampire and she didn't like it. So she's gonna have her parents killed. And the cops were like, yep, tell me more.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I knew that. Yeah. Of course I like her sister better as well.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. They got completely wrapped up in this, like teenage gossip. Teenage girl gossip. These cops.

[Ed Larson]

The cops thought they were in the movie, man.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Well, did you ever see that? There is a movie based on all this. Oh, My Clan.

[Marcus Parks]

No.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Sort of watching it.

[Ed Larson]

Is it not great?

[Marcus Parks]

Pretty bad.

[Henry Zabrowski]

It's on. To be. I love to be. Don't get me wrong, I love to be. Love it. And. But the Vampire Clan, this film looks. Just say it really changes what they look like.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Oh, yeah.

[Ed Larson]

They're attractive in this.

[Henry Zabrowski]

They're wildly attractive.

[Ed Larson]

Make them ugly.

[Henry Zabrowski]

No, they can't. Because they don't understand that if Vampire Clan was real, it'd be done with the cast of Gummoe.

[Ed Larson]

I want to see exactly I was there. I want to see the Harmony Corinne.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Version of Very much so.

[Marcus Parks]

You know, I don't think you know, Eddie, there aren't any unattractive actors or actresses because if you're not attractive, then you're not talented.

[Henry Zabrowski]

You cool.

[Marcus Parks]

You can't. That's unfortunate. That's why they see, that's why they had to get Charlize Theron. That's what they to ugly her up to play Eileen Wuornos. Cuz there's no unattractive people that are actually talented.

[Henry Zabrowski]

No. There's only one fat guy ever. And then the penguin had to have a full $15,000 bodysuit on him to look like me.

[Marcus Parks]

Cuz again, yes, unattractive people are not talented.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Get it? I'm too cheap.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. Now all of the evidence, now all of the evidence that the cops had from the note Heather had left saying goodbye to her parents, to the testimony of Sh. Janine Leclaire, all of it pointed towards Heather having nothing to do with her parents double murder. But to these shithead investigators whose brains were poisoned by satanic panic propaganda and they'd been waiting for something to happen in their town for so long, the story that made more sense to them was that Heather was a member of a satanic vampire cult who'd manipulated the cult's leader into killing her parents for the devil.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Eustace needs a redo. Yeah. Like Eustace needs a full on DNA change.

[Ed Larson]

It's so crazy how people always jump to the most insane conclusion rather than just like common sense.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah. Similar to the messages inside weapons.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, yeah. Well, I mean that really is what people want. They want to be a part of the story. They want it to be like that.

[Henry Zabrowski]

They want them something too.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, yeah, they, but they get to be a part of the story that the, all these stories that they've seen. It's the American brain, it's just prime to want to be a part of a narrative. So investigators listen to the testimony of these girls with all seriousness without even checking to see if any of them even knew Heather.

[Henry Zabrowski]

That's really interesting. Now what? Are you available Friday night?

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, you know, I, I, I think so, probably. I mean, you let me to.

[Henry Zabrowski]

What day is it? How old are you?

[Marcus Parks]

I'm like, I'm like 19.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah, I like that.

[Marcus Parks]

As it turned out, none of these girls knew Heather at all, much less knew her well enough to be let in on murder plots. And so hatred towards Heather Windorf and Eustace reached a fever pitch because of these statements and media Outlets actually reported that Heather had performed occult rituals to have her parents killed. That narrative persisted in the media for months, and it only began to die down when the aforementioned ambiguity. Ember Blood failed a lie detector test about the claim she'd made. She was forced to admit that even though she'd claim to have been Heather's friend for two years, she had never even talked to her.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, no one remembers that, though. They just remember that Heather's a witch.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Of course. Yeah, yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

Now, let's return to Rod and his clan back in New Orleans. See, Rod Farrell had talked a big game about how there were literally hundreds of vampires from his personal vampiric family who were waiting in New Orleans to welcome them.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Especially vampires from Eustace. They can't wait.

[Marcus Parks]

But in reality, Rod had never even been to New Orleans, as far as I can tell, and he didn't know a single fucking person there. Definitely didn't know a fucking voodoo priest named Chicken Man.

[Henry Zabrowski]

You could pay somebody to act like Chicken man in New Orleans.

[Marcus Parks]

Didn't have any money to pay nobody in New Orleans to be chicken.

[Henry Zabrowski]

There's a whole thing. It's called lip money is what I used dare call it.

[Ed Larson]

How about Rooster Boy?

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. So presumably after telling his clan that his vampiric family had to move because of the fucking werewolves or something, Rod directed the vampire clan to go to.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Baton Rouge, Lower the States. Yeah, I mean, it's the Baton Rouge group.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. But once Rod's clan arrived in Baton Rouge on November 27, they were tired, scared, and most importantly, completely out of money. So Charity suggested that they call her mother in Rapid City, South Dakota, to wire them some money, which was an incredibly stupid move for a number of reasons.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Very much so.

[Marcus Parks]

See, even though Charity's mother didn't live in Murray, Kentucky, or Eustace, Florida, she still worked at the local county sheriff's department in Rapid City. So she was well aware that her daughter was wanted for questioning in a double murder in Florida. So when Charity called and told her mother that she and her friends were on their way to a Howard Johnson's in Baton Rouge, the mother agreed to wire money to the Hojos. But as soon as she got got off the phone, Charity's mother began working with the police to get these kids caught as soon as possible. Now, Rod was a fool, but he wasn't a total. So he was against even calling Charity's mother in the first place. I do think, though, that Rod knew at this point that the game was reaching its conclusion. So if he put up A bit of a fight about calling someone's parents. He could at the very least surrender with some dignity. But as it went, when the vampire clan pulled up to the Baton rouge hojos at 9:30pm on November 28, Rod Ferrell did not blast the cops with the shotgun they'd found in the abandoned house. When the Ford Explorer was quickly surrounded.

[Henry Zabrowski]

By officers, Van Helsing's private. Police have found us.

[Ed Larson]

I didn't even know how to use it.

[Henry Zabrowski]

No.

[Marcus Parks]

Oh, no. Are these.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Were these cops werewolves? Oh, my God. Let's check.

[Marcus Parks]

That's check.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Third period. Blood on.

[Marcus Parks]

Instead, Rod put on the shotgun that he'd been holding on to for days and meekly surrendered to the police alongside the rest of his vampire clan. And later, Rod would say that he gave himself up so weakly because he realized in that moment that he didn't want, quote, the idiots who followed him. His words, not mine. He didn't want them to die. But really, I think Rod Frell just didn't want to die. And he knew that he could keep this game going if he moved to the next phase of his life, which was inmate.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yes, now he's in jail. Fazago.

[Marcus Parks]

Now, whether it was because he wanted to be famous or because he was scared, Rod gave the cops a full confession that very night. He gave him the names of everyone involved. He described the murders in excruciating detail, and he even took them on a moment by moment retelling of the. The road trip the Klan took after their escape.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Well, it's because he was. His goal was to keep kayfabe. His goal was to keep telling people that he was a vampire. And so he. He keeps. He keeps it going to this day.

[Marcus Parks]

No, he's. No, he's done.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Well, the last interview I saw with him, he still talks about surrendering himself to a demon that he was working. The story's advanced.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, well, but, I mean, we'll get to how he talks about it today, but yeah, he holds onto a little bit of it, but yeah, the KFAB has definitely long since gone away.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Well, yeah, it's cuz you find out really quick inside how much respect the fellow inmates have for vampires.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, Ron was actually surprisingly truthful when it came to the murders. He said that Scott was little more than an accessory who hadn't been able to bring himself to participate in the killings, and the other kids in the clan had absolutely nothing to do with it. He could have very well thrown everyone under the bus and taken them all with him, but no, he actually Told me the truth. And the evidence backs up that truth. But once Rod got the murders out of the way, he returned to role playing and told the cops that these murders were merely a natural extension of the time that Rod had spent being molested by his grandfather during dozens of black masses. But when push came to shove, Rod claimed.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Which is what his grandfather did.

[Marcus Parks]

Rod claimed that he ultimately committed the murders because he had a death wish and because past suicide attempts had failed. He was going to commit a crime that would get him convicted of as an adult and executed by the state of Florida.

[Ed Larson]

Did he try to kill himself?

[Marcus Parks]

Well, he said that he did. He said that he had a couple of suicide attempts in the past that nobody else knew about.

[Henry Zabrowski]

But the one was with Tylenol. There was literally one was with Tylenol. That's what he said. And like he's forever trapped as a 15 year old inside of himself even as he got older. In jail. Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

The rest of the clan, meanwhile, seem to not fully comprehend just how much trouble they were in as their attitude in the police station that night was depressed, described as playful. Now this enraged the public officials who were forced to deal with him. Not just because Goth's refusing to take things seriously is infuriating.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yes.

[Marcus Parks]

But also because investigators had taken every rumor reported by the teenagers of Murray and Eustace as gospel truth.

[Henry Zabrowski]

And they treated them like they were the Manson family.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. For example, all the. That Rod and Scott had talked about concerning how many people they'd killed in the past that was taken seriously. And the cops actually believed that Rod's so called satanic vampire cult had killed over over 40 people.

[Henry Zabrowski]

They want it to be real. Because then the easy arrest shows how powerful good is over bad. Oh yes, that's what it is.

[Marcus Parks]

The good is triumphed over evil.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Good has triumphed over evil. And it's just that easy. And it's just because. No, it's just that they're idiots.

[Marcus Parks]

No.

[Ed Larson]

I bet that they didn't tell this crazy story though. The cops would have just beat them senseless.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah, maybe.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, maybe. Yeah, good news.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Or they would.

[Ed Larson]

Or they would have just gutter punks.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Or they all. One of them would have said something. It was some kind of Asian. And then it could have. They could have went and beat up a bunch of different races.

[Marcus Parks]

Who knows? Who knows? Well, it seemed like the only person in Eustace who had his head screwed on straight was the actual homicide detective who investigated the murders.

[Henry Zabrowski]

That's the only. I like this guy. I like the cut of this guy's gym.

[Marcus Parks]

I do too. This is what his take on the whole situation was. And please excuse the extremely loud cicadas and the exceedingly strange bed music used in this clip from one of the documentaries.

[Henry Zabrowski]

That's how you know it takes place in Florida. Them cicadas. The murder itself I don't believe was.

[Marcus Parks]

Connected with the occult, period. It's just a mean individual that has.

[Henry Zabrowski]

No remorse, has nothing to do with vampires. The common sense person knows there is no such thing to start with, but.

[Marcus Parks]

Just a mean hard individual.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I like the bed music. Yeah, it feels like the end of an anime.

[Marcus Parks]

Well, it was something that they had played because that was the scene in the documentary when all the rest of the vampires finally left Eustace or finally, finally left Murray. And I think they were trying to do something ironic because they were doing some sort of juxtaposition between the vampires hanging out in their shack and the kid, the regular kids hanging out at the roller rink.

[Henry Zabrowski]

This documentary, Murray. Yes. This documentary has the British people in it. And British people do this great thing of going into small town America and talking at them with their British accent and just mesmerizing people. And they just show up and they.

[Marcus Parks]

I don't know, they just said they crack like a British accent will crack off open the consciousness of a small town American and they'll tell them anything, anything.

[Henry Zabrowski]

And they're all like, just so excited. They're like, are you a talking teapot?

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, well, no one's ever asked them, man.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, yeah. But when you got Louis Theo coming in and he's British, oh my God, those meth heads will tell some stories. Woo boy. But while that detective, while he had the right idea, the county sheriff and Eustace had gotten fully wrapped up in the gossip of teenage girls. And he therefore saved the most horrible harsh treatment for Heather Windorf. See, despite Rod's full and immediate confession to the whole thing, they got all of the facts immediately. The sheriff's department and the media still treated Heather like she was the mastermind who had manipulated Rod into taking the fall for the murders on the words of teenage girls.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I just think he was sitting there, first of all, he's getting all wrapped up and then he's just like. And would you believe Brian's dating Amber? That's crazy. He was. Amber was just with Tyler at the farm dance last week.

[Marcus Parks]

Well, I heard that Tyler's got some problems of his own, you know. Cause I hear Tyler's got herpes.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I heard that too. I heard he Got it from doing butt stuff.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. Oh, yeah, I heard. And did you hear that. That Tyler and Jenny. Did you hear that they do anal and that Jenny has to wear, you know, she has to wear a butt plug? She has to wear a butt plug? No, it's not a diaper. She has to wear a butt plug all the time because it's so big. Because her butthole's so big. Yeah, I just.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I just execute someone for the state.

[Marcus Parks]

I just told you a rumor that I heard in high school and I changed the name.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Oh, no, I remember the state of the. There was a young lady that was the daughter of one of the teachers, and that was where my diaper story came from.

[Marcus Parks]

That's nice. Now, while Heather was polite once she was put in the box and she tried to answer the questions posed an investigator at one point, just this. The question they asked her were so fucking stupid. At one point, one of the investigators mockingly asked her during her interrogation what she liked to drink, adding quote, was it coke?

[Henry Zabrowski]

Was it Pepsi? Was it blood?

[Marcus Parks]

That was a direct quote. They actually asked a teenage girl that.

[Henry Zabrowski]

People are clever.

[Ed Larson]

Just. Just get the job done.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah, they think it's vampires. Yeah, that's over. Clever sailed.

[Marcus Parks]

Well, that's the other thing, too, is that they think it's vampires. Think in a movie now. Like, they're all in a movie. They're all in a movie. So the. The quips come out, the lines come out like they. They're. They're on camera. But the consistent story that all the kids told after their arrest was that they never believed that Rod Frell would ever actually kill a person, much less two. And they were still somewhat in disbelief that he'd actually done it. After they went on the run, they still were kind of like, do you think he really did kill someone? Like, yeah, I think. Think so. But there was, you know, he lied about it so much. That was not a part of the deal. Now, Rod came very close to getting what he claimed he wanted from the murders. Even though Rod was just 16, the special prosecutor for the case, a guy named Brad King, sought the death penalty for Rod. That prosecutor, by the way, was nicknamed Darth Vader for. Because of his harshness. And he was recently appointed a judge by Florida Governor Ron DeSantis, of course. So he's out there making decisions.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Oh, yeah. As he should be.

[Marcus Parks]

Rod, meanwhile, was still finding ways to play the game. After his indictment, he placed a collect call to the Orlando Sentinel and told them that the murders were actually committed by his rival Vampire clan in Kentucky, which was led by Rod Sire, Steven Murphy.

[Ed Larson]

Also, that's a good tip for people in jail. If you're lonely, place your calls to newspapers. They'll pick it up every time.

[Henry Zabrowski]

He will always answer, and they'll talk to you.

[Marcus Parks]

And of course, this sounds stupid. This sounds like. Oh, who would ever take this seriously? This only served to rile up the people back in Murray, Kentucky, even more. They became so paranoid over the possibility that their small Kentucky town had become an occult hotspot that the sheriff's department was overwhelmed with calls about vampire sightings for years after the murders.

[Henry Zabrowski]

There's a Loch Ness in my pool. Hey there. Hey. Hey. I better. There's a damn Bigfoot in my bedroom. Oh, my God. It's the mirror.

[Marcus Parks]

Years.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I take. Okay.

[Marcus Parks]

I think that there's a vampire in my house. I think you should send out for a cop. And the cops would send people over because the cops are taking it seriously, too, because they're stupid.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Everybody's fucking stupid.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. The media, meanwhile, zeroed in on Vampire the Masquerade as the source for everything. They called it a Satan Titanic game that turned teenagers into murderers.

[Henry Zabrowski]

It is. I can't wait to play it. And hopefully it makes me kill in real life. Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

Cops therefore followed the media's lead and began confiscating Vampire the Masquerade rule books because they believed they were grim wars capable of magical mayhem.

[Ed Larson]

Well, they just had to buy more. It only helped them.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Oh, yeah. Very much so. And I mean, mostly what VTM does is it is. It does make a magical spell book. It makes you disappear to women.

[Marcus Parks]

I actually feel really bad for the vampire that this. For the VTM kids and Murray because they weren't like. They were not, like, even middle class. These playbooks are fucking expensive. They really are so expensive. And these cops are just stealing from them.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Oh, and, you know, I. And I actually got emails from people still in the area that talk about their. This, like, the vampire goth thing is still, like, a thing there.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

And, like, they walk around and they, like, you know, like, it's sad for us to get hassled. We're already at the lowest rung.

[Marcus Parks]

Give me that. Can you keep hitting it? And it's empty.

[Henry Zabrowski]

It's. They're on the lowest societal rung.

[Marcus Parks]

Well, I mean, I. I talked to a. A friend of mine a few days ago about this whole thing. He's around our age, and he was very much. He was a goth, you know, during Columbine and after Columbine the way that he put it is that if you were a Goth in 1999, you either stopped wearing black altogether or you went even harder. Because after Columbine, like being a goth, you could actually frighten people.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Oh, yes, very much.

[Marcus Parks]

It's incredible how much were crawling up your ass. Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

If it wasn't for 9 11, they'd still be scary to this day.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, actually, they. They did actually get replaced.

[Henry Zabrowski]

And that's why I just want to say thanks, Saudi Arabia.

[Marcus Parks]

Why did we get called to come play your comedy festival?

[Henry Zabrowski]

I just. I don't know, Marcus. I don't know. But I just want to say congrats to all of our friends performing at the Riyadh Comedy Club. All the.

[Marcus Parks]

All of.

[Henry Zabrowski]

They're all doing great. Andrew Santino, Bobby Lee, all so many of our favorite friends are there taking money from the guys who orchestrated 911.

[Marcus Parks]

Have fun, everybody.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Joy.

[Marcus Parks]

But when it came time to actually prosecute the murders of Ruth and Richard Windorf, justice was not equally distributed. See, Heather's lawyers took a gamble and had her voluntarily testify to a grand jury. This grand jury was reasonable, and they did not charge Heather with anything. And a second grand jury convened because Brad King tried as hard as he could to put this unfortunate teenage girl. Girl in prison. It also failed because Brad King also very much believed the gossip of teenage girls.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Another goddamn life not ruined. He's got to destroy her life.

[Ed Larson]

These goddamn prisons ain't filling themselves.

[Marcus Parks]

Well, Heather Windorf therefore went free. I mean, she did. She now lives a fairly normal life. From what I hear, she went through a hard time. I mean, she was released into the custody of her extraordinarily grandmother, who, guess what, tried to shoot her with a gun.

[Henry Zabrowski]

But it's almost more dangerous to be with her family.

[Marcus Parks]

Far more dangerous to be with the extraordinarily Christians. Or the extraordinarily Christian. Yes, yes, yes. Far more dangerous.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Oh, we know.

[Marcus Parks]

But. But yeah, she eventually like turned. She went to art school and yeah, just lives a regular life.

[Ed Larson]

She got the fuck out of Eustace.

[Marcus Parks]

Mm. Well, she said that she. If she goes back to Eustace, which she has gone back a couple of times since, like she gets recognized immediately and people look at her like she's Satan. Yeah. Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I would take that power and use it for you.

[Ed Larson]

Love it.

[Marcus Parks]

The other members of the vampire clan, however, were not as lucky. Even though Dana was the only so called vampire above the age of 18. Scott, Rod and Charity were all charged as adults for the murder. Cuz under Florida Law, complicity to commit murder is the same as committing murder.

[Ed Larson]

Florida loves putting people in prison.

[Marcus Parks]

God, they do. By the end of it, Scott Anderson received life in prison. Dana Cooper was sentenced to 17 years for just sitting in the car. And charity Casey, just 15 at the time, was sentenced to 10 years for doing the same. Today, Scott Anderson is still in prison, although an appeal got him re sentenced to 40 years. Jesus Christ. He's eligible for release in 2031. He's going to be 51 years old.

[Henry Zabrowski]

God, he's gonna. At least he'll be around for VR.

[Marcus Parks]

Dana was released after 13 years in prison in 2011, while Charity served eight years in prison. She's been free since 2006.

[Ed Larson]

Man, you know him.

[Henry Zabrowski]

It definitely breaks the vampire curse.

[Ed Larson]

One of those things. It's like, I hate it. Like I. They don't deserve it in a weird way. But at the same time, you gotta set a example when it comes to this.

[Henry Zabrowski]

The only thing is you can hold hope that maybe, maybe even though it's bad and it wasted chunks of their life, that they learned a real solid lesson.

[Marcus Parks]

I mean, I don't know, I. I have more sympathy for these kids.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah. I think they're all moral. I think they got railroaded.

[Marcus Parks]

Like, I. I think. I don't think any, anyone. I don't think anyone but Rod and Scott should have done prison time.

[Ed Larson]

Oh, Rod and Scott.

[Marcus Parks]

Rod and Scott. Absolutely.

[Ed Larson]

Scott's definitely on the hook.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I feel bad for the moron girls.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

That's why I feel bad.

[Marcus Parks]

They're just hanging out. They were.

[Ed Larson]

Seriously, they were just in the car.

[Marcus Parks]

They were just in the car. And afterwards, you know, everyone says, like, well, they should have gone to the cops. Like, would you know? You wouldn't.

[Henry Zabrowski]

They're there with the murderers.

[Ed Larson]

You're 15 years old. The guy in the front seat is a shotgun.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

You just killed someone. You're probably very scared of him.

[Marcus Parks]

Yes, yes.

[Ed Larson]

Even though he is like a dweeb.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Dweebs kill all the time. Ask fucking Himmler.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You think Adam Blake? Yeah. Adam Lanza.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Oh, yeah. They're all dweebs. Most of them are DWs. The only Chad murderer you're going to meet very soon because we're going to introduce you in a couple of weeks. Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

And he truly was. What a handsome, handsome man.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Handsome man.

[Marcus Parks]

As far as Rod Frell's sentence went, Rod's team knew how much evidence there was against him. So in another gamble, Rod pled guilty in an attempt to avoid the death Penalty. This being Florida, however, the gambit failed. Because if there's one thing that Florida was loves more than taking prisoners, it's executing them. Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

String them up.

[Marcus Parks]

Yep. Actually, it was light them up. Because this time, Florida was still using the electric chair. Do they still use the electric chair?

[Ed Larson]

I don't know. I probably.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Well, now I think they just use co. Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

Well, at the time, Rod Frell soon became the youngest death row inmate in Florida's history. But due to a Supreme Court decision in which it was decided that maybe we shouldn't execute people who were minors when they committed committed their crimes, Rod's death sentence was reduced to life in prison in November of 2000. But even though all three of us are staunchly against the death penalty for a boatload of reasons, I think I can make an argument against the death penalty here, using Rod Ferrell as an example that might even sway those who believe that death should be punished with death. See, in the first documentary I watched about Rod Ferrell, he was still on death row and he was looking forward to the electric chair. He was still playing the game, still holding on to the fantasy, and had executed, he would have gone to the grave fully believing that he was some sort of occult badass. But since Rod's death sentence was vacated 25 years ago, he's had time to reflect not only on his crimes, but on who he was when he was a teenager. By the time he gave interviews and later documentaries, all of his illusions had fallen away, and he is now forced to spend a lifetime stewing over the fact that he threw his life away on a teenage obsession with vampires. In fact, I mean, that one documentary, he starts off talking about Vassago and all of this shit.

[Henry Zabrowski]

The demon lord.

[Marcus Parks]

By the end of it, when he's actually being real, he cries when he talks about the murders. It tortures him day and night. And he has since apologized to the surviving members of the Windor family. Additionally, as Henry mentioned earlier, Rod also has to tell his fellow inmates that he's in prison for life because he convinced himself he was a 500-year-old vampire named Visago when he was a teenager.

[Henry Zabrowski]

And he's. The other guys are like, I'm a 500 year old vampire named Vassago. You can't be me.

[Ed Larson]

We need to start adding the stories of these men getting beaten in prison.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah, it happens a lot.

[Marcus Parks]

Oh, yes, it happens a lot.

[Ed Larson]

A lot. And Florida does have the electric chair.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, yeah. Very good. Very good. I didn't know they still Used it. But the point of all this is that killing Rod Ferrell would have given him satisfaction because it would have allowed him to die with the fant intact. And this happens with a lot of these guys. Ted Bundy, when we executed him, we gave him a dramatic ending to his story. He was able.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Protests all the attention he got the protest got.

[Marcus Parks]

The attention he got. His interview with James Dobson in which he was able to solidify this, you know, last. This final plea, like where he could make himself basically a martyr to pornography.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah. Pornography and sugar.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Remember the twinkie defense?

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. Did Ted Bundy also use the twinkie?

[Henry Zabrowski]

That was a part of what he was saying. And say the whole. Like he was. It's what we put in our bodies.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Ask. Ask RFK Jr. Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. Oh, I should probably. Yeah. But in other words, execution gives these shitheads an ending they don't deserve. And that's not even to mention how many innocent people we've executed over the years in the pursuit of vengeance. Furthermore, letting these live and actually talking to them, this gives us insight into what actually happened. It gives them time to talk about it. Because when you have Rod Frell admitting as he did, that he was just an idiot kid back in the. Those are his words. I was an idiot kid. It refutes all of the extraordinarily harmful bullshit about the satanic panic that people are still trying to bring back to this day. See, just like there's no such thing as vampires or fucking werewolves, there's no such thing as satanic cults in the way satanic panickers believe them to exist. Instead, time and again, it's usually just a bunch of idiots playing pretend like it was with Rod Frell's crew. But if we're looking at who's truly dangerous here, Rod could have just as easily used Christianity as the framework to commit his evil deeds. Cuz in the end, there have been far more atrocities in this country justified and inspired by the bible than what's been done in the name of vampire.

[Henry Zabrowski]

The masquerade corrector Words could not be said. It's also true. If you want to look for a real vampire cabal, look none other to our elected officials and the people that ran run gigantic secret keeping mechanisms involving intelligence operations and stolen children.

[Ed Larson]

Definitely 500 years old.

[Marcus Parks]

What are you talking. I just said. Oh, get that.

[Henry Zabrowski]

It's real now. Unfortunately, Marcus, it's real now. So it's like one of those where.

[Marcus Parks]

It'S like, that's vampires, but they're not vampires. Like it's not vampires. It's not vampires. It's not satanic, spiritual. No, it's not. It's. It's just money. It's all fucking money. Yeah, God damn it. It's all money.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Money.

[Marcus Parks]

It's all billionaires. That's what it is. It's not left. It's not right. It's money. It's with a lot of money.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yes. Because they get bored. You know what I say send some my [e-mail]. i don't think billionaires should exist. So if you're a billionaire, send us a couple million over on our Patreon. Yeah. And then go to Ed LP on the left for all of our your social media needs. I know that you have them. I know that you're. You need social media idea. I know it's the only way you can feel happiness. So go and see us there or join us on the truly Most pure website, YouTube. Go to someplace underneath LPN Romantasy. LPN TV. No dogs in space in the foreign report. Go check it out.

[Ed Larson]

That's right. And don't forget, HGX2 is coming back. We're filming the out of this thing. It's a lot of fun. Got some great guest stars. These fellas are showing up at some point. You're gonna love it.

[Henry Zabrowski]

And it comes. Come see us on the road.

[Ed Larson]

September 20th, we're in St. Paul, Minnesota. October 11th, Milwaukee, Wisconsin. October 25th, Oakland, California. November 29th, Cleveland, Ohio. December 12th and 13th, Portland, Oregon. And stay tuned for more shows. You.

[Marcus Parks]

Yes.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah. Hail Satan. Honestly, give him a shot.

[Marcus Parks]

Hail vtm.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. Hail vtm.

[Henry Zabrowski]

And LPN RPG coming your way very soon. Fueled by the power of empire. The masquerade. What I can't wait till people see. I have an idea for what I'm going to do. Already that I'm pretty pretty solid.

[Marcus Parks]

Hell yeah. I can't wait to be the prince of the night.

[Henry Zabrowski]

You'll see.

[Ed Larson]

Maybe you can facade go yourself.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Destroy.

[Marcus Parks]

When it's this hot, you need a snack that's cool, fun and delicious like.

[Henry Zabrowski]

My mochi ice cream. My mochi is little scoops of ice.

[Marcus Parks]

Cream and flavors like strawberry, mango and cookies and cream wrapped in soft dough. It's creamy on the inside and chewy on the outside. Like a sweet ice cream dumpling. My mochi is gluten free and only 70 calories a piece. The perfect guilt free snack this summer.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Grab a purple box of my mochi.

[Marcus Parks]

Ice cream and feel joyfully chill with the coolest treat around. Hi, I'm Angie Hicks, Co founder of Angie when you use Angie for your home projects, you know all your jobs will be done well, from roof repair to emergency plumbing and more done well. So the next time you have a home project, leave it to the pros. Get started at angie. Com.