Episode 642: Heinrich Himmler Part VI - Mein Cramps

Summary

Last Podcast on the Left – Episode 642: Heinrich Himmler Part VI – Mein Cramps

Date: November 7, 2025
Hosts: Marcus Parks, Henry Zebrowski, Ben Kissel (with guest Ed Larson)
Podcast Network: The Last Podcast Network

---

Overview

This episode marks the grand finale of a six-part deep dive into the life and crimes of Heinrich Himmler, one of the most infamous figures of Nazi Germany and architect of the Holocaust. The hosts close out their exploration of Himmler’s rise, his role in genocide, his bizarre personal quirks, the disintegration of the Third Reich, and his demise. True to the show’s tone, they blend rigorous research with dark humor, irreverence, and poignant warnings for our present day.

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Setting the Stage: The End of the War Draws Near

([03:17]–[08:55])

• The episode picks up with Nazi Germany overextended after their campaign for “Lebensraum” (living space) and the Final Solution’s devastating progress.
• Nazi advances in the East stall with the failure of the invasion into the Soviet Union and Japan’s surprise attack on Pearl Harbor, shifting American and Russian war efforts.
• The Allies, representing 26 nations, join forces against the Axis powers, launching bombing campaigns like Operation Gomorrah over Hamburg (30,000 civilians dead) and D-Day.

"By the end of 1941, the Nazis had spread across Europe like a disease... The SS and the Gestapo under Himmler’s command had kept the people of Europe in a state of constant terror."
— Marcus Parks [03:22]

2. The Downfall of Reinhard Heydrich: Operation Anthropoid

([11:16]–[15:38])

• The assassination of Reinhard Heydrich, Himmler’s ruthless number two, is detailed. A Czech/British operation (Anthropoid) kills Heydrich—after a failed submachine gun attack, a grenade mortally wounds him, and he dies of sepsis.

"Even though the agents hadn’t obliterated Heydrich on site… what they’d done instead was far more satisfying. He died a slow, painful death from sepsis over the next five days."
— Marcus Parks [15:13]

• Heydrich’s death shakes Himmler, revealing how vulnerable even the top Nazis truly were.

3. Escalation and Logistics of Mass Murder

([17:31]–[23:19])

• Himmler accelerates the Holocaust, inaugurating Auschwitz as a mass extermination center.
• The twisted double priority: both exterminating Jews and maintaining a slave labor force for the Nazi war machine create conflicting, self-defeating policies.
• Other Nazis sometimes balk at the resources poured into mass extermination:
  "Not every Nazi wanted every Jewish person dead… It was a distraction, it was fighting the war."
  — Marcus Parks [22:22]
• Again, Marcus underscores that Hitler and Himmler’s mutual fanatical antisemitism was utterly core to the genocide.

4. Himmler's Weaknesses: Health Issues and the Influence of Felix Kersten the Masseur

([33:17]–[45:25])

• Himmler’s lifelong nervousness and intense stomach cramps shape his daily behavior (“mein cramps”).
• Enter Felix Kersten, a Finnish-Estonian massage therapist. Kersten becomes a huge influence in Himmler’s life, providing relief and growing political sway.

"Felix became the most influential person in Himmler’s life following Heydrich’s death. As a result, Felix would play a surprisingly large role in the story of WWII—far larger than you’d expect from any one masseur."
— Marcus Parks [35:16]

• Kersten’s story is recounted with signature LPOTL banter comparing him to “Himmler’s Mike Lindell” (the MyPillow Guy), and speculating about the effect of massages on Nazi policy.

• Kersten is described as a complicated figure:

  • By giving Himmler relief, he unfortunately enables Himmler to focus on mass murder.
  • However, over time, Kersten uses his influence to push for the release of concentration camp prisoners, eventually saving thousands near the war’s end.

5. Covering Their Tracks: The Nazis’ Final Atrocities and Complicity

([49:15]–[56:53])

• As the Soviets advance and the horrors of Nazi crimes threaten to be revealed, the Nazis try to hide evidence:
  • Paul Blobel is tasked with exhuming and burning the corpses of mass graves, such as at Babi Yar (over 100,000).
• Himmler ensures other top Nazis are fully complicit by delivering a frank speech so none can later feign ignorance about the genocide.

"It was now in every top Nazi’s best interest to either help Himmler cover up what he’d done or avoid defeat. The hidden message: if I’m going down, you’re all going down with me."
— Marcus Parks [56:35]

6. Unraveling of the Third Reich; Himmler's Delusions and Desperation

([61:02]–[87:34])

• Hitler’s health and judgment collapse; the failed 1944 assassination plot (Operation Valkyrie) further isolates him.
• Himmler is tasked with direct military command despite nil experience—his decisions lead to disastrous retreats and mass deaths, including child soldiers being slaughtered on the Eastern Front.
• Himmler grows delusional, believing in superstitious Nazi pseudo-science (trying to build a real-life Thor’s hammer, Mjolnir, as a doomsday weapon [82:07–85:53]).

"Himmler became obsessed with a scheme to build a bizarre electrical weapon based on fantasies surrounding Norse mythology…”
— Marcus Parks [82:07]

• As the Allies close in, Himmler tries desperately to flip, offering to surrender to the West to avoid Soviet justice, but is universally rejected—Allies see through the ploy.

7. Denouement: Himmler's End and the Final Toll

([90:01]–[108:41])

• Himmler loses all command, attempts to whitewash his role, and even meets with the World Jewish Congress to try to “bury the hatchet.”
• He flees, disguises himself (poorly), but is eventually captured by the British, who see through his alias.
• Before he can face justice, Himmler commits suicide by cyanide capsule.

"Himmler, just glanced at the [camp] pictures, shrugged and asked, 'Am I responsible for the excesses of my subordinates?'"
— Marcus Parks [105:14]

• His body is buried in an unmarked grave; his brain and death mask’s location remain a mystery.

8. Reflection on the Consequences and Modern Resonance

([108:41]–[114:40])

• The hosts tally the staggering human cost of Himmler and Nazi Germany’s crimes:
  • Soviet Union: 26 million killed (15 million civilians)
  • Himmler personally responsible for ~5.3 million deaths (high-end estimate)
  • Millions of Germans—soldiers and civilians—die due to the fascist regime’s choices
• Marcus warns of the dangers of mediocre, delusional “believers” with unchecked power, drawing parallels to contemporary American politics.

"Himmler... was a small, mediocre, wholly inadequate man... but he was also a believer… I do believe our current administration is full of believers, and while they may not want to say it, these believers are fascists—even if... they don’t understand what the word means."
— Marcus Parks [111:14]

• He urges listeners to emulate the resistance of Joseph Hartinger, emphasizing peaceful, direct opposition to fascism in one’s community.

---

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On the damage done by Himmler:
  "Out of the estimated 80 million who died worldwide, it was Heinrich Himmler who was personally responsible for more of those deaths than anyone else."<br> — Marcus Parks [108:41]

• Comparing Himmler to present-day politics:
  "Believing in the promise of America means that you are, by definition, anti-fascist… So what I ask of you… is to stand up and, like Joseph Hartinger, be one of the 100…”
  — Marcus Parks [111:59]

• On complicity and cowardice:
  "Heinrich Himmler, the greatest mass murderer in history, was a small, mediocre, wholly inadequate man… above all, a coward to the core of his soul."
  — Marcus Parks [111:14]

• Dark humor & gallows banter:
  "I'm gonna pull your pants down and slap your tush because it looks like two Himmlers next to each other."
  — Henry Zebrowski [03:09]

• On the logic of Nazi homeopathy:
  "If Heiner Himmler had his way, there would be no chemical treatments of any kind, and definitely no vaccines."
  — Marcus Parks [41:21]

---

Important Timestamps

| Time | Segment | |-----------|-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 03:17 | Recap: Nazi occupation of Europe, Himmler’s role, war turns against Nazis. | | 11:16 | Operation Anthropoid – assassination of Reinhard Heydrich and aftermath. | | 17:31 | Auschwitz’s opening; the logistical contradictions of genocide and forced labor. | | 33:17 | Himmler’s health woes and introduction of Felix Kersten, his influential massage therapist. | | 45:25 | Kersten starts influencing Himmler’s decisions, including pressure to reduce camp deaths and save prisoners. | | 49:15 | Nazis' attempts to cover up genocide as Allies advance. | | 56:53 | Himmler makes all Nazi officials complicit in the Final Solution, “no one can say they didn’t know.” | | 61:02 | Internal Nazi collapse, Himmler’s disastrous military command, delusional pursuit of “superweapons.” | | 87:34 | Himmler frantically attempts to negotiate with the Allies and save himself as war ends. | | 92:21 | Himmler loses command, issues exculpatory orders as Allied victory looms; Kersten arranges final prisoner releases. | | 96:03 | Himmler’s final, farcical attempts to clear his name with Jewish and Swedish representatives. | | 101:27 | Himmler’s failed escape and arrest; suicide by cyanide to avoid trial and execution. | | 108:41 | The deadly toll on Jews, Soviets, and Germans as a result of Himmler’s actions; the ruin of Germany. | | 111:14 | Modern-day warnings: the danger of small, unremarkable “believers” wielding fascist power. | | 111:59 | Marcus’s call to action: "Stand up…be one of the 100," invoking the real courage needed to resist fascism. |

---

Tone & Style

The episode maintains The Last Podcast on the Left’s trademark style:

• Research-rich storytelling interspersed with profanity, absurdity, and black comedy
• An ability to treat horrifying history with factual care, rage, and irreverent banter
• Wrapping horrific content with an urgent, heartfelt call to civic responsibility

---

Final Reflections

This final episode not only marks the dissolution of Himmler and the Nazi regime but acts as a pointed warning. The hosts warn against complacency and breakdown the compounding tragedy of mass complicity, cowardice, and delusion. The story of Himmler isn’t one of a demonic “evil genius,” but of a dull, insecure fanatic whose ideological commitment and willingness to “just follow orders” fueled catastrophe on an unprecedented scale.

---

For further research & action:

• Mutual Aid by Dean Spade (free at anarchistlibrary.org)
• Local resources: mutualaidhub.org

"Taking care of these motherfuckers does not mean using violence... Violence never did anything but give the Nazis more power every time. Be one of the 100. Stand up with whatever power you have."
— Marcus Parks [113:41]

Transcript

[Henry Zebrowski]

The thought of getting a degree can be straight up terrifying. We get it. But Southern New Hampshire University makes it easier than you'd think. They have over 200 degrees you can earn online. No. Set class times so your social life stays alive and well. And low online tuition that won't scare your bank account. College doesn't have to be a horror story. Visit Snhu. Edu lastpodcast to get started. That's Snhu. Edu, lastpodcast, Limu Emu and Doug. Here we have the Limu Emu in its natural habitat, helping people customize their car insurance and save hundreds with Liberty Mutual. Fascinating. It's accompanied by his natural ally, Doug.

[Marcus Parks]

Uh, Limu is that guy with the binoculars watching us.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Cut the camera. They see us. Only pay for what you [e-mail] Liberty Liberty. Liberty. Liberty Savings Ferry Unwritten by Liberty Mutual Insurance Company and affiliates. Excludes Massachusetts.

[Marcus Parks]

There's no place to escape to. This is the last on the left.

[Henry Zebrowski]

That's when the cannibalism started. What was that? I know we haven't even finished part six, but why don't we do seven?

[Marcus Parks]

Honestly, this episode, because I got to kill so many Nazis with my words, I kind of got invigorated. I was like, I could do this fucking forever. I got like, I'm back in. I'm invigorated. I'm fucking ready to go. Welcome to last podcast on the left, ladies and gentlemen. My name is Marcus Parks. I'm here with Henry Zabrowski. Are you ready to kill some fucking Nazis, Henry?

[Henry Zebrowski]

I'm always ready to kill some Nazis with kindness.

[Ben Kissel]

That's the key.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Always got to make them feel uncomfortable with being vulnerable.

[Ben Kissel]

Yes. Before we kill the Nazis, can we piss on them first?

[Marcus Parks]

And we also have have the urine ready. Ed Larson with us.

[Ben Kissel]

I'm European.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, we're here. We're at part six. We are at the conclusion to our series on Heinrich Himmler. The first head of the Mount Rushmore of evil is almost chiseled in stone completely.

[Henry Zebrowski]

And I love that this one is probably not even the most unpleasant one.

[Marcus Parks]

No, this is the most pleasant one.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah. Wait till we get to the other three.

[Marcus Parks]

Oh, you're talking. Talking about. You're talking about the Mount Rushmore of evil. Yeah. Some of those are going to be pretty upsetting.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Oh, yeah, buddy. Oh, wow. Different.

[Marcus Parks]

It really. Yeah, let's say different. Yeah. It's like we wanted to upset people in. In as many ways as we could.

[Henry Zebrowski]

That's the goal.

[Marcus Parks]

Good, good, good.

[Ben Kissel]

Every way Would the next guy be like a doctor?

[Henry Zebrowski]

No. No, because doctors have licenses.

[Ben Kissel]

Prosecutor. Those bastards always trying to tell me I can't smok. Prosecutor. Piece of.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I'm with you, buddy.

[Ben Kissel]

I'm gonna pull your pants down and slap your tush because it looks like two Himlers next to each other.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Now we're in trouble.

[Marcus Parks]

Let's get into this and let's put Himmler on the ground.

[Ben Kissel]

Oh, yes.

[Marcus Parks]

So when we last left Heinrich Himmler, the scope of the Nazis ambition concerning Lebensraum and the Final Solution was finally starting to catch up with them. See, by the end of 1941, the Nazis had spread across Europe like a disease. And it had been the SS and the Gestapo under Heinrich Himmmler's command that had kept the people of Europe in a state of constant terror, where anyone could be sent to a concentration camp or outright executed for standing up to Nazi rule in the West. Germany had conquered and occupied the majority of continental Europe with the help of their fascist Italian allies. And in countries like France, Norway and the Netherlands, the Nazis were using the Gestapo to root out and kill Jews wherever they found them. In the east, the Nazis had run riot over Poland, Czechoslovakia, and large swaths of the Soviet Union. And Himmler's Einsatz group and units had slaughtered millions in pursuit of the Nazi dream of Lebensraum. But the problem the Nazis had in 1941 was twofold. First, the invasion of the Soviet Union had been badly planned.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Oh, they were gonna say it was an attitude problem. Yes. Because first of all, I do think that they were sour.

[Marcus Parks]

Way too much emphasis had been put on committing mass murder at the expense working out the logistics of waging war in Russia during winter time. Which is, to say the least, a notoriously daunting task.

[Ben Kissel]

Yeah, General January, General February.

[Marcus Parks]

There you go. But perhaps the larger problem Nazis had, or at least the more unexpected one, was that their other ally In World War II, Japan, they were going rogue and making decisions based on their own visions of imperial conquest.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Too many cooks.

[Marcus Parks]

Yep. See, the Nazis could handle the Russians just so long as Stalin was forced to keep troops on the eastern border that Russia shared with China. Japan had a long standing beef with Russia. And since Japan had spent the 1930s creating their own special version of hell in Manchuria, they were well capable of pushing on into the Soviet Union. But when Japan decided that they were going to declare war on the United States instead with a sneak attack on Pearl harbor because of our oil embargoes and because they wanted the lands we controlled in the Pacific, Papa Joe Stalin could take all those Soviet troops stationed in the east and shove them right up the Nazis asses.

[Henry Zebrowski]

And that's why FDR jumped out of that chair, clicked his heels, knowing that that opportunity had finally fallen upon his numb as a sheet of metal lap.

[Ben Kissel]

Hey, you boys went into Charleston.

[Marcus Parks]

The thing was, Japan didn't even tell Hitler what they were doing. But while you'd think good old Adolf would be incredibly angry about being kept in the dark because Japan had to keep this secret as tight as possible, that wasn't the case at all.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah, he was just like, thank you for anticipating needs. Yes, that's what a good partner does.

[Ben Kissel]

Are we allowed to call him sneaky? Talking to Hitler?

[Henry Zebrowski]

Super sneaky.

[Marcus Parks]

That's the sneakiest you can get.

[Ben Kissel]

And that's the biggest crime.

[Henry Zebrowski]

At least tell me the truth.

[Marcus Parks]

While Hitler was certainly surprised after Pearl harbor, he was ultimately pleased because he believed war with Japan would not only keep America busy and out of the European theater, but it would also, at the very least, slow down the aid that America had been giving to the UK since the beginning of their fight with the Nazis. Hitler, however, was a idiot. The German generals, who actually had a brain, knew that all was lost for Germany the moment America entered the war. Because Japan had awoken a so called sleeping giant with near unlimited resources and a hell of a taste for revenge.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Come to America.

[Ben Kissel]

Kicking him out. We love to kill. It's like, come on guys, I know we pretend to be good, but remember, we kill. Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

God damn reason to kill. Give me a reason. We do it many different ways. We do it with guns, we do it with drones, we do it with disease. Give us a goddamn reason.

[Ben Kissel]

It's almost good that when we have a war because then we don't kill our own people as much.

[Marcus Parks]

Not as much.

[Ben Kissel]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

Nah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Ah, Maybe it's all the pile.

[Ben Kissel]

I'll take a baby.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I'll take a baby.

[Marcus Parks]

So forces in Europe and around the world, some 26 governments in all, including America, they allied in 1942 to begin fighting back against the Axis powers with a specific eye towards stopping the incredibly destructive and murderous Nazi war machine.

[Henry Zebrowski]

And I will say thank you to everybody for understanding that we're doing all of the conflicts of World War II in one episode. Understand that it's just one episode. We're skipping the war. Okay. Because you know what happened.

[Ben Kissel]

It's not a World War II series, it's a Himmler series.

[Marcus Parks]

Exactly. And we're not necessarily skipping the war. We're still talking about the war. We're just not going into the battles necessarily, because there are other podcasts who do that far better than we do. After you're done with this series, please go listen to the hardcore history series on the Eastern front. It's fucking incredible. But, yeah, they know how to do military history. We know how to do shitheads. Yeah. Well, as a result of these 26 countries coming together, the German people began to see that there were dire consequences for following a fascist leader like Adolf Hitler. In 1943, the Allies launched the appropriately named Operation Gomorrah. And over seven days of continued bombing, British and American forces showed the people of Hamburg the meaning of the word biblical.

[Henry Zebrowski]

God's angry and he's Jewish.

[Ben Kissel]

I mean, personally, I believe that the hamburger should have been left alone.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yes.

[Marcus Parks]

The firestorms generated by the Allies during the bombing of hamburg spanned over eight square miles, creating flames a mile high. An estimated 30,000 German civilians were burned alive. And that was only a preview of the hell the German people were about to endure as a result of the hell that the Nazis had unleashed upon others. Now, that's not to say that we believe roasting civilians by the thousands was the right thing to do.

[Henry Zebrowski]

No, it's the fun thing to do. Yes, we know that. We know what's fun. There's difference between what's right and what's fun. Yeah.

[Ben Kissel]

And you cook hamburgers. Everyone knows you cook a hamburger. Yeah. You can't eat raw hamburger.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Got to get intense sear on that. Get the Maillard effect.

[Marcus Parks]

I mean, there were thousands of Germans who were decidedly anti Nazi who died in these bombings. But it is nevertheless a sign that on this last episode of our series, we're finally going to put some of these Nazis into the ground where they belong, including Adolf Hitler's number one special boy, Heinrich Himmler.

[Ben Kissel]

Ah, he Himmler.

[Henry Zebrowski]

And then it's gonna be sad because Hitler's main struggle is gonna be finding a good friend.

[Marcus Parks]

Especially at the end, you can't have one.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah. Because he's got to watch all the families each other in the bunker. One day, we will do the last weeks of the Bunker as its own episode series. The Bunker is incredible because it's. That is truly my expertise in this whole thing.

[Ben Kissel]

Oh, my God. I watched Downfall. That movie rocks.

[Marcus Parks]

Love down.

[Ben Kissel]

Downfall is so good. That guy's great as Hitler.

[Marcus Parks]

You know what? It's best Hitler ever.

[Ben Kissel]

Best. He is the best Hitler ever.

[Marcus Parks]

You're right.

[Henry Zebrowski]

He loves that.

[Ben Kissel]

I love that show on VH1. Whatever happened to it. Best Hitler ever.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Michael Ian Black was hilarious in that. He was great.

[Marcus Parks]

Were you on that show ever? Yes.

[Henry Zebrowski]

God, it was me. It was me. Michael Ian Black, Carrot Top. Heinrich Himler's grandson.

[Ben Kissel]

Yeah, yeah, you got. You got fired because your mustache was too wide.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah, that's what they said.

[Ben Kissel]

By the way, I. We totally up by not getting this whole series sponsored by hims.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. Now, as we discussed in our series on the Manhattan project, World War II wasn't just fought and won in the massive battles. Many of the most important operations were small covert affairs. And it was indeed a small affair that took down the creator of the Einsatzgruppen, Himmler's number two guy, Reinhard Heydrich. Now, unlike Heinrich Himmler, Reinhard Heydrich actually got his hands dirty. As Himmler's top man in the ss, Heydrich had been responsible for the invasion and the brutal occupation of Czechoslovakia in which hundreds of Czechs were executed or sent to concentration camps on Heydrich's orders. Heydrich was so notorious that his actions in Czechoslovakia led the Czechs to call him the Butcher of Prague. Now, the surviving members of a Czech government were operating in exile out of England after the Nazi takeover. And they wanted to make a big statement to the Germans and to the world at large that they weren't going to take the Nazi invasion lying down.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah, we take it ass up.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Like how we like it because our back hurts.

[Ben Kissel]

Yeah, Ass to ass.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah, Fuck me. Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

I love it.

[Ben Kissel]

Yeah, stick it in, stick it in. I like you. Look me in the eyes.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Can we escalate this, please? I would love to have his first funeral.

[Marcus Parks]

It first. So the Czechs, working with British intelligence services, trained dozens of their own resistance agents in the ways of infiltration and assassination for an operation that came to be known as Operation Anthropoid.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah, why was it called anthropoid? You know, what does that term mean?

[Marcus Parks]

They just choose names, you know, sometimes.

[Henry Zebrowski]

They do feel like it's supposed to be random and sometimes they have like inner hidden jokes.

[Ben Kissel]

Right. Maybe they have a squish, a bug.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Type of joint resembling. Oh, honestly, resembling a human being in form.

[Marcus Parks]

So it's. Yeah, Reinhard Heydrich was not quite human. I get it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's incredible. There's four movies made about Operation Anthropoid going back to. The first movie was made in 1943, the year after it happened.

[Ben Kissel]

Oh, yeah, we gotta make a movie about this.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah. Because it was the only one that really worked. It was the only assassination plan Right. Of all the not. I mean, I'm not. I don't know. So I'm just talking out of my butt.

[Marcus Parks]

I actually don't know either. Yes. If it was the only one that actually worked.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Operation Valkyrie went after Hitler. That didn't work.

[Ben Kissel]

Well, that's because it was a bunch of Nazis doing it.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Ben Kissel]

You know what the they're doing?

[Marcus Parks]

Well, we'll get to that later.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Tom Cruise tried to learn the handbook as quickly as he could.

[Ben Kissel]

Yes.

[Marcus Parks]

Still so tiny. Too tiny to play that guy. But anyway. Well, two men were ultimately chosen for Operation Anthropoid, to parachute directly into Nazi occupied Prague in May of 1942. And they had only one purpose. Put an end to Reinhard Heydrich, one of the Third Reich's most evil villains. The secret agents met Heydrich's car on the road to Prague and pulled out a couple of Sten submachine guns with the intention of murdering Heydrich. Like Sonny and the Godfather.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Give me the loot. Give me the loot.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, I mean, it is pretty awesome just standing in front of a car.

[Ben Kissel]

But it didn't work like that.

[Marcus Parks]

Nope. But since the Stens were made fast and cheap, the guns jammed. Improvising. One of the Czech agents tried throwing an anti tank grenade known as a thermos, into the car's window. But his aim was off and the grenade exploded near the rear tire of Heydrich's car instead. Now, Heydrich was injured in the blast, but he was still able to open the door and fire a few shots at the Czech agents as they escaped. But even though the agents hadn't obliterated Heydrick on site into a mush of hamburger meat, what they'd done instead was far more satisfying. The grenade blast had maimed Heydrich, injuring his spine, his legs and spleen. And after he collapsed on the scene, he was taken to a hospital, where he died a slow, painful death from sepsis over the next five days.

[Ben Kissel]

I know we're supposed to save these.

[Henry Zebrowski]

But that guy's good. It's good to get him.

[Marcus Parks]

The agents were killed by the Gestapo three weeks later, but they had nevertheless managed to take Reinhard Heydrich off the board, which was a massive blow to Heinrich Himmler's plans with the ss.

[Ben Kissel]

Yeah, man, you had to kill that. He was brutal. He was. He was the worst. Probably the worst of all of them in a weird way. Just because he loved doing it himself. Yeah, you know, like he liked to be there holding the person as they died, but it was his own piece of cockiness. That got him because he would always travel in the convertible.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Ben Kissel]

All around the town that he had just destroyed, like as, like a go yourself type of situation. And so they were able to. And Nazis are always like, very like in, like organized, you know, and so they knew exactly when he was going to be showing up in that convertible. And it was an easy kill.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, that. That was the whole joke about the Nazis making the trains run on time. The whole thing. What the Nazis making the trains run on time did was it made the Allies very easy to know exactly when to bomb the trains. Yeah. You got to be unpredictable sometimes. That's why. That's why America works. Oh, yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

You think we're zagging, we're zigging. Yeah, it's pretty good. Also, you wonder if in the sequence, like, you know in Godfather, when the oranges fall. Right. Every single time one of them died, do you think it's just a big sloppery plate of br that slides out of the tits of a big German woman?

[Marcus Parks]

Oh, my God. I almost.

[Henry Zebrowski]

That's symbolism.

[Marcus Parks]

Now, even though Heinrich Himmler didn't trust Reinhard Heydrich, he was still devastated by the death of his number two. I've been waiting for fucking so many episodes. I've said number two, Heinrich's number two so many times.

[Henry Zebrowski]

We've been waiting until the final episode.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, it's nice.

[Ben Kissel]

Yeah. I gotta wait till he farts himself to fucking death. Sepsis.

[Henry Zebrowski]

You died at dookie number two, you fucking dumb. Dumb. But we can. We cannot really overstate how dangerous he was.

[Marcus Parks]

You really can't. Yeah, but, you know, Himmler was very upset, if only because it showed how vulnerable every top Nazi really was.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Oh, there. They can get him.

[Marcus Parks]

Oh, yeah.

[Ben Kissel]

Apparently grenades do the trick.

[Marcus Parks]

You throw a grenade at a guy, he blows up. Now, Himmler might have been discouraged after the death of his top man, but he instead continued his expansion of the Holocaust into its final form when he unveiled the mass murder factory that was Auschwitz. In July of 1942, just a month after Heydrich's death, Himmler traveled to Poland to oversee a demonstration of the camp's first gas chamber, which naturally met his approval. The trains therefore began running to Auschwitz en masse, with the goal of killing as many Jewish people as possible as fast as possible. But while Himmler's desire to wipe out all of the undesirables was only increasing by the day, the Nazis still needed slave labor to keep the Nazi war machine going. That was the whole thing with Nazi Germany, is that Nazi Germany could Only grow if they took what they needed, if they stole what they needed. I need a factory, Give it to me. I need people, Give it to me. That was the only way Nazi Germany worked. That's why they had to constantly be on the move while they always had to be conquering a new country, conquering a new territory. War was the only thing that drove them. Without war, the whole thing fell apart.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah. And they were literally plundering. And it's actually kind of similar to how their Germanic ancestors slowly carved their way against the Roman Empire. The original Roman Empire. Pirates.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. Vikings, Goths, vandals. See the prisoners being detained at the thousands of concentration camps across Europe. There's about, at least they, there's estimated like maybe like 40,000 concentration camps like, of like tiny size, depending on what you call concentration camps. But there were well over a thousand of the major ones.

[Ben Kissel]

That's crazy in my mind is there's always like 12.

[Marcus Parks]

No, it's over a thousand.

[Ben Kissel]

Is there like just like 12, like huge ones? Is that what it is?

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah, you have express ones.

[Marcus Parks]

Some of them have a Taco Bell in them.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Full service, summer self service. The self service ones are really. That goes after the self hating Jews. The juice for Jesus.

[Marcus Parks]

Well, These prisoners worked 60 hour weeks at least. And the death rate due to disease, malnutrition and executions had become so high that the slave labor mechanism that Nazi Germany needed to survive was grinding to a halt. So Himmler issued an order across the camp system that the death rate had to be reduced. Although this is sort of the beginning of mixed messages from Himmler when it came to exactly what the Nazis were doing with the concentration camps. In other words, mass murder is complicated.

[Henry Zebrowski]

It's a little complicated.

[Marcus Parks]

And the plot was starting to get lost. See, by 1942, the perpetual motion of violence that had sprung from Himmler's furious hatred was too far gone to slow it down in any meaningful way. Even outside a straight extermination, Himmler treated his slave labor prisoners worse than animals. Hell, you treat your tools better than Himmler treated these people.

[Henry Zebrowski]

He didn't hate his tools.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. It was Himmler's policy that each and every prisoner be worked until they dropped dead. And if Himmler needed more slave labor, all he had to do was expand the parameters of what got you sent to the camps. The policy was extermination by default, either through working prisoners to death or immediately exterminating those who couldn't or wouldn't work. Prisoners who wouldn't work, by the way, were executed on Himmler's orders by other prisoners who happily hung their fellow inmates for the price of. Price of three cigarettes per hanging.

[Ben Kissel]

I mean, happily might be a little.

[Marcus Parks]

I mean, they were bought.

[Henry Zebrowski]

You know what some people say? I do it for the cigarettes. No, I do it for the company. I mean, I love these guys. These executioner guys. Love these guys.

[Marcus Parks]

Well, these guys in, in this, this, they were volunteers, that they were guys like, yeah, I'll. Like, who wants to? Because, you know, Himmler was trying to traumatize the least amount of SS men as possible. She's like, I will have the prisoners do it. Because, you know, they. The concentration camps, there were some true criminals there, some true psychopaths. I mean, remember Oscar Derlonger, like, recruited a lot of psychopaths from the concentration camps. Because at this point, Heiner Himmler made a ruling, made a law that any German who got a prison sentence longer than 18 years was sent to the concentration camps.

[Ben Kissel]

Okay, so they still had like, prisons.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah, yeah, they straight up just in other prisons too.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. So if you, you know, were convicted of murder in Nazi Germany, you got sent to a concentration camp. So you had plenty of amoral people there who were willing to kill whoever for a few cigarettes.

[Ben Kissel]

Oh, okay. Well, that's better.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Well, that's cleared up.

[Marcus Parks]

Now, it might go without saying, but Himmler's need to exterminate the Jews became his all consuming obsession as the years went by. To Himler, the existence of a single Jew in Eastern Europe was offensive. But while this might sound weird, not every Nazi wanted every Jewish person dead. Or at the very least, they didn't, and this is probably more accurate, they didn't see the need to spend so much time and so many resources murdering every single one of them.

[Ben Kissel]

They're in the middle of a war.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, they are.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah. It's a distraction.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. Himmler would actually get into arguments with other top Nazis about what he was doing, but he could always fall back on the claim that everything was being done on Hitler's orders and the other Nazis would do well to not question the vision of the Fuhrer. This, however, was not just a claim. It was the truth. See, while Himmler was more loyal to Nazism than he was to Hitler personally, he still very much loved Hitler.

[Henry Zebrowski]

It's so hard not to separate the art from the artist.

[Marcus Parks]

He was still a big fan because aside from a few of the Die Hards, Hitler was the only other guy out there who hated Jewish people as badly as Himmler did. But there was also nobody else out there who was as scared of the Jews as Hitler was.

[Henry Zebrowski]

You know, it's kind of like that guy who stands up the motorcycle for Rob Halford every night on Judas Priest. He keeps the dream alive. Yeah, yeah. We know it's on a track, but they pretend to wheel it out. Yeah, they pretend to start it up for him.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Ben Kissel]

And to be.

[Henry Zebrowski]

That's Heinrich Himmler.

[Ben Kissel]

Oh, okay. Yeah, it's the guy who makes the guitar spin for ZZ Top. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I got you, Zizzy. Top of the guitar zone.

[Ben Kissel]

Spot in.

[Marcus Parks]

Yes.

[Henry Zebrowski]

No, it's Hitler. Hitler without killing all the Jews.

[Ben Kissel]

No.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Ben Kissel]

No, you can't just kill some of them once you start.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, but him.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Can we also isolate that as well? There's several of these I want to do. We'll put the time stamp on that. It's like 29.

[Ben Kissel]

It's hard to make this kind of funny. I am doing everything I can. By betraying my people.

[Marcus Parks]

No, you're not betraying your people. You are participating in a long and beautiful tradition that goes all the way back to you. It's springtime for Hitler in Germany. Wow. We're terrible. Yep.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah. Hey, man, we ain't going Broadway. I don't need it, dude. Bloated, man. Arm of the Mossad, dude.

[Marcus Parks]

Well, the point here is that Himmler did have a lot of respect for Adolf Hitler. By the early 1940s, Hitler and Himmler had known each other for 20 years.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Oh, that's like us.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. And Hitler believed that there was no Nazi more loyal than Heinrich Himmler. But aside from their shared love of Lebensraum, Himmler was actually loyal. Yes, but it was mostly because Hitler was a super scary guy who actually frightened Himmler quite a bit.

[Henry Zebrowski]

You might say that about him. I call him a little bit of a scary guy.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, he was intimidating.

[Ben Kissel]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

A lot going on there, and he got. You know, his whims were hard to follow. Yeah.

[Ben Kissel]

And you yell every word you say. You know, it gets a little crazy.

[Marcus Parks]

It's just hard.

[Henry Zebrowski]

You know, people react the same way to me.

[Ben Kissel]

Do we think Hitler actually killed people with his own hands?

[Henry Zebrowski]

He saw action.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. I mean, he did see action, but he was a messenger. He wasn't an actual soldier in World War I. He just ran messages between the trenches.

[Henry Zebrowski]

That last thing I saw was so crazy. I just saw the bloodiest shit ever. So I got. Oh, you want me to send your subscription in to Best German Ever?

[Ben Kissel]

So sometimes you do have to kill the messenger.

[Marcus Parks]

Sometimes you would if they were correct. Yeah, no, there is actually a story that a British soldier told that he had the opportunity to kill Hitler. He remembered him, and he had totally had the opportunity while Hitler was running messages during World War I, and he decided to spare his life.

[Ben Kissel]

Wow.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Mistake.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Ben Kissel]

Dumb, dumb.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Never do that, guys. Yeah, soldiers never do that.

[Ben Kissel]

Yeah, kill them all. Now, I know we're deep into something, but do you. Who had the haircut first, Himmler or Hitler?

[Marcus Parks]

Him. You know what I would say? Parallel thinking. Parallel thinking.

[Henry Zebrowski]

It was the Zeitgeist.

[Ben Kissel]

Yeah, they killed him, too, unfortunately.

[Marcus Parks]

Well, for Hitler's part, he became attached to Heinrich Himmler, partly because One of the SS's main functions from the beginning was to protect Hitler from assassinations. So Himmler acted almost like a security blanket for the Fuhrer. But more importantly, Hitler knew that Himmler's remarkable skills as an administrator and Himmler's dedication to Nazi party doctrine meant that Himmler would carry out any order that Hitler gave him without objection, no matter how abominable it may be. And Himmler would probably add in a few ideas of his own to make it all that much worse.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Just the idea of making Hitler go like, damn, Heinrich. Just expecting it. Wanting to get. Like getting the handshake from Paul Hollywood.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Ben Kissel]

Man. And for all of you playing the. The Himmler drinking game at home. That was a tough. That was a tough, tough paragraph.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah. Himler knew that Himler would hit from your GR. The year is 2012. The setting, new York City. There are a thousand stories in the naked city, and this one is about blood. Vampires are real. They stalk the streets, feeding on the living. Nobody is safe. Join me, Henry Zabrowski, along with Jackie Zabrowski and veteran TRPG player Ross Bryant for an actual play series set in the the Masquerade universe from the mind of game master Jared Logan. The show will premiere on the LPN TV YouTube channel starting on Wednesday, October 29, and will release on a weekly basis. People will die, then get back up and bite you. Will my character succumb to the beast within? Can Jackie navigate the Byzantine intrigues of the dam? The future is a mystery. All we know is it's gonna be a Bloodbath. LPN RPG presents Bloodbath every Wednesday on the LPN TV YouTube channel. It all begins on October 29th. Enjoy the mysteries.

[Marcus Parks]

Oh.

[Henry Zebrowski]

This is an ad by BetterHelp. You know, I really lost contact with my extended masters recently. It's been so hard to psychically reach them because so much aluminum is built up in my pituitary gland. I guess it's because I've been using all this fancy Dancy natural deodorant that apparently has extra aluminum in it. But honestly, I just wish I could reach out sometimes, you know, it's just nice to make somebody's day. My ascended masters always tell me I'm right and that I'm not too fat for life. Some people don't have Ascended Masters to talk to. Some people wish they could reach out to somebody. And this season, Better Help encourages you to reach out. Check in on friends. Just like it takes a little courage to send that text or grab coffee with someone or ask one of your ascended masters what's the proper way to destroy communism. Reaching out for therapy can also feel difficult, but it can be worth it. So I say you get out there and just like I want to give a call using the powers of Votan. For those of you that don't have botan, enjoy betterhelp this month, don't wait to reach out. Whether you're checking in on a friend or reaching out to a therapist, Better Help makes it easier to take that first step. Our listeners get 10% off their first [e-mail] LastPod that's better. H E L P.com LastPod if you're still overpaying for wireless, it's time to say yes to saying no. At Mint Mobile, their favorite word is no. No contracts, no monthly bills, no overages, no hidden fees, no BS, no plan. Start at $15 a month at Mint. All plans come with high speed data and unlimited talk and text delivered on the nation's largest 5G network. Use your own phone with any Mint Mobile plan and bring your phone number along with all your existing contacts. To getting another phone, say no, no, no to paying more for your cell phone bill. Because every day I wake up and I scream. First thing, I scream honestly each morning, no. And then I realize, oh, what? That's actually amazing. I don't need to say no in this way. I've already said no to high billing because I work with Mint Mobile, so now I can go no at everything else. Ready to say yes to saying no? Make the [e-mail] lpotl that's mintmobile.com lpotl upfront payment of $45 required, equivalent to $15 a month limited time new customer offer for first 3 months only. Speeds may slow above 35 gigabytes on unlimited plan taxes and fees extra CMIT mobile for details if you've ever felt overwhelmed by the idea of learning a new language you're not alone. Studies show that 70 to 90% of people trying to learn a new language give up. Fortunately, Babel's built so that it's really easy to get started. Learning a language with Babel is all about small steps, big wins and progress. You can actually track and feel. Their bite sized lessons fit easily into your daily routine and are also easy to remember. It's easy to use Babel. It's easy for you to learn different words. Stuff like if you're in Germany and you need to be like, hey, where can I get some see through later hosing, you can learn that. If you go to Mexico City and you want to learn how to say, do you have any see through lederhosen in Mexico City? You can learn how to do that. I believe the Spanish word for lederhosen is lederhosen. And I learned that from Babel. Here's a special limited time deal for our listeners right now. Get up to 55% off your Babel subscription at babel.com forward slash. Get up to 55% off at babel.com forward slash left spelled B A B-B-E-L.com forward slash left. Rules and restrictions may apply.

[Marcus Parks]

Now, the problem with being Adolf Hitler's main dude was that it came with a lot of responsibility because if anything defines a Nazi, it's being busy. But after Reinhard Heydrich was killed, Himmler had lost his most capable subordinate in carrying out Hitler's most diabolical orders. Because Hitler insisted on doing everything himself, he therefore carried the full burden of carrying out the policies of mass murder after Heydrich's death. And the resulting stress only exacerbated the lifelong health problems that were caused by Himmler's weak constitution.

[Ben Kissel]

More dookie talk.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I get it, man. Stress is the killer. It's not concentration camps.

[Marcus Parks]

See, Himmler was above all a very nervous man. And his constant anxiety, paranoia and hatred would cause intense, intense stomach cramps. This was a lifelong problem. But eventually Himmler found a solution in the form of an Estonian born massage therapist from Finland named Felix Kirsten. Now, Felix Kirsten was said to be a mild mannered man with kind eyes and a quote, sensual mouth.

[Ben Kissel]

Yeah. God.

[Marcus Parks]

Oh yeah.

[Ben Kissel]

Kiss him. Yeah, Felix.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah.

[Ben Kissel]

Yeah. Feel me, Felix? Yeah. Oh, God damn you. Kiss that Pete as well. Oh, yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

Jesus. Gross.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I hated that.

[Marcus Parks]

I really didn't like any part of.

[Ben Kissel]

That's why you don't want to get a sensual mouth.

[Marcus Parks]

Well, Felix Kirsten had a gift for easing the anxiety of even his most Neurotic patients.

[Ben Kissel]

Wow.

[Marcus Parks]

And he was therefore idolized by his clients as such. Hiner Kimler was so taken with Felix Kirsten's massage treatments that Felix became the most influential person in Heinrich Himmler's life following the death of Reinhard Heydrich. And as a result, this is true. Felix would play a surprisingly large role in the story of World War II, far larger than one would expect from any one masseur.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Technically, this man. I would put this as Himmler's Mike Lindell. Right. If we're going to do. Cooper is my pillow guy.

[Marcus Parks]

If we.

[Henry Zebrowski]

If Mike Lindell could have had a more positive influence earlier.

[Marcus Parks]

Right.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I can see this being. Him being like, what I see you need here. Oh, I see you just aren't sleeping.

[Marcus Parks]

Right.

[Henry Zebrowski]

You need a new pillow.

[Marcus Parks]

Right.

[Henry Zebrowski]

If you fix everything with his pillows, Mike Lindell would have the same effect here.

[Ben Kissel]

I actually see where you're going with.

[Henry Zebrowski]

You know.

[Marcus Parks]

As far as how Felix Kirsten became so good at massage that he ended up influencing the events of the most destructive war in history.

[Henry Zebrowski]

These two fingers.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. He first became interested in the art when he was hospitalized for rheumatism while fighting in the trenches of World War I for the Germans. According to Felix, the doctor who treated him in the Helsinki Military Hospital remarked that Felix's strong, plump hands and broad, short fingers.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I'm good for this.

[Marcus Parks]

Ideally suited to massage.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Oh, I can grip and rip, dude.

[Ben Kissel]

Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

So when Felix returned to Finland, he earned a degree in scientific massage, then moved to Berlin in 1922.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I'd make Himmler fall asleep in seconds with these hands.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Ben Kissel]

He is like. Himmler is like Silly Putty, but, oh.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah, I guess Irrational Putty, I would say. Hate. Hateful Putty.

[Marcus Parks]

Well, in Berlin, Felix Kirsten claims he found a mentor who introduced him to a fragile old Chinese Missouri named Dr. Ko, who had learned about the ancient art massage in Heinrich Himmler's favorite Asian country, Tibet.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I love that kind of Asian.

[Marcus Parks]

Supposedly, using Dr. Co's techniques, Felix Kirsten began building a substantial client list in Berlin throughout the 1930s. These clients were mostly made up of upper and middle class people who didn't really see why others were making such a big deal about this whole Nazi thing. And Felix felt the same way.

[Ben Kissel]

Oh, Felix love feeling him.

[Henry Zebrowski]

He just likes a knot that he can unleash.

[Marcus Parks]

See, Felix claimed again and again that he wasn't interested in politics, nor was he aware of anything quote, unquote political happening around him.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Every masseuse has always been the same. They're all Such they're all like this. They all turn weirdly into fascists.

[Ben Kissel]

Sound is not a bath.

[Marcus Parks]

Well, sure, Felix said that he was shocked and offended by the anti Semitism and by the Nazi police state.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah, everything about it.

[Marcus Parks]

But he said that he, quote, forced himself to not dwell on injustices he could personally do nothing about. Now this might have just been Felix trying to avoid the trauma of the suffering he endured in the trenches of World War I. But Felix says said that instead of focusing on the injustices of others, he dedicated himself to getting as much pleasures he could out of life. And as such, Felix Kirsten is the closest thing to a character from Cabaret that we're gonna get in this entire series.

[Henry Zebrowski]

See.

[Marcus Parks]

Now, Finland was cozy with the Nazis because both of them hated the Soviet Union. And Felix Kirsten, they weren't necessarily allies. They were more. They were what you would call co belligerence. Okay. And Felix Kirsten had earned a reputation amongst ranking officials in the Finnish government as a miracle worker.

[Ben Kissel]

A squeeze is Christ.

[Marcus Parks]

Apparently a Finnish official had mentioned Felix's skills to Heinrich Himmler after Himmler had complained about his chronic stomach issues. So In March of 1939, Felix got a message that he was to travel to Berlin immediately to give Heinrich Himmler a massage.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Oh, I must go and get all of my lube. I must be so slippery for the fuel. Laura's number two.

[Marcus Parks]

Incredibly, as Felix's hands kneaded and pressed upon Himmler's horrible little body, Felix found the nerve centers that caused Himmler's stomach cramps. Himmler meanwhile, jabbered on during the massage about how his stomach troubles robbed him of the energy that he needed to do his quote unquote important work.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah, I can feel it right here. It's in the shoulder. In the right shoulder. Do you right forms ordering gas with this side. How did you know? Feel it. I can feel it in here. Yeah, yeah. Is it too much, you think? I'm kind of thinking that. Can you switch to stamps instead of writing it out? Maybe you could switch to the left hand. Because I can feel on this side. Cuz this is more for. Ooh, I feel this. This is your slap and Jew side, right? Yeah, yeah, I can feel. I can feel like the. Yeah, I can feel the joy here. It's over here. I can see that you're bunched up by schedules.

[Marcus Parks]

Too many schedules.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I know, right?

[Marcus Parks]

Yes.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Let me get in there. Come. Oh, my belly.

[Marcus Parks]

Now remember, this is early 1939. This is before the invasion of Poland. It's before the Einsat groupen. It's before the worst of the Holocaust.

[Henry Zebrowski]

He had these ideas on the massage table.

[Marcus Parks]

No, what I'm saying is that it's not like he had the ideas on the massage table. But Himmler was still a known quantity. He was known as the guy who hated Jews. But Felix knew nothing about Himmler's sober called important work because Felix didn't care about politics. And sure enough, by the end of that first session, Felix had eased Himmler's pain for the first time in Himmler's miserable life, thereby enabling Himmler to fully focus on the task at hand. That task, of course, was the Holocaust.

[Ben Kissel]

God damn it. You like?

[Henry Zebrowski]

Ah, all better now?

[Ben Kissel]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

God, oh yeah. I can write so many more forms now.

[Marcus Parks]

It's true. I know it's true.

[Ben Kissel]

I just sitting here picturing this guy cuz if his belly hurt. So I just picture him just rubbing his belly a bunch like it's not even like a good mis.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I'm making his belly talk.

[Ben Kissel]

Relaxing.

[Henry Zebrowski]

It sounds like you.

[Marcus Parks]

Now. For Heinrich Himmler, Felix's massages were a confirmation of his beliefs regarding modern medicine. Nazis on the whole regarded 20th century medicine as a degenerate science because of the influence of Jewish doctors. So Nazis were all about alternative medicine and homeopathic remedies. In fact, Felix Kirsten said that Himmler was fully intending to force his own personal medicinal beliefs on the entire Reich after the war. If Heinrich Himmler had his way. Way, there would be no chemical treatments of any kind and definitely no vaccines.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Sounds like a really great idea. Some good ideas. I wonder what they.

[Ben Kissel]

So basically, if we had enough time, they would have just died off on their own eventually.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, they would have.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Mumps would have taken this whole ass system out.

[Marcus Parks]

Instead, the people under the Third Reich's boot would use. Use herbs, crystals and massage treatments to treat anything and everything, including broken bones and cancer.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Oh yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

Like many of today's homeopathic influencers, Himmler's philosophy was heal his way or die.

[Ben Kissel]

It's like say what you want about the Jews, but use the doctors, you know? Use the doctor.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Ben Kissel]

Just let it, you know, like, I mean, look at Kanye. You know, he hates the Jews and all this, but if he wasn't such a. If he didn't hate Jews so much, he would have been able to find a good Jewish doctor to give his mom that boob job.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Disgusting. Disgusting.

[Marcus Parks]

Now because Felix Kirsten was able to treat himler's cramps, Himmler insisted mine CR that the name of his book Mine cramps. Himmler insisted that Felix remain in his exclusive service every day for as long as Himmler wished. As a carrot, Himmler even gave Felix the right rank of colonel in the ss, complete with a uniform and salary, which had to have burned the asses of so many SS men.

[Ben Kissel]

Oh, also, it's not easy to massage people in one of those outfits.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

All the jingling metals really try. Could take me out of my Zen point.

[Marcus Parks]

But as the months went by and Felix's techniques got even more in tune with Himmler's body, Himmler began to relax and he began to soften. Felix, therefore, basically became Heinrich Himmler's confused professor. And Felix was suddenly privy to all of the horrible things that Heinrich Himmler was doing and planning.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Just like Danny Aiello from Jacob's Ladder.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. Interestingly, Felix noted that whenever Himmler got worked up about the Jews, that's. That's when his pain and his cramps would be at their worst.

[Henry Zebrowski]

No one understands me, Felix.

[Marcus Parks]

No. These Jews, they just get on top of you.

[Ben Kissel]

They get in your head. You can let it go.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Do you feel you hold your hate on your Jews in your should.

[Marcus Parks]

Actually feel like. Sometimes you'd be like, he's like, you know what? I actually have some Jewish clients that are actually very nice. And then Himmler would flip out on him. And that's when he learned that. Like, that's when he learned who Himmler was.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Oh, he's just like, oh, you really don't like Jews. Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

But even so, Felix was always there to make Himmler's tummy feel better after the nasty Jews got him into a tizzy. So Himmler very often listened whenever Felix Kirsten talked. As such, Felix's role in the war is complicated, to say the least. While he did give the second most powerful man in Nazi Germany the peace and stability he needed to organize the Holocaust, Felix also did whatever he could to save lives. Once he realized that he had the power to do so, Felix used his influence on Himmler to have prisoners freed from the concentration camps whenever possible. And at the end of the war, Felix would play a pivotal role in slowing down the mass murder of the Jews, thereby saving the lives of an estimated tens of thousands of people. The masseur.

[Henry Zebrowski]

And all it took was about, I would say, two dozen carefully placed happy endings. And that really shaped the end policies.

[Ben Kissel]

Oh, do you feel my band aid?

[Henry Zebrowski]

Oh, yeah. That's it. I'll tell you honestly, okay. If you drink 8 ounces of water every 40 minutes, you'll stop hating Those Jews by Wednesday.

[Ben Kissel]

I gotta hit this bowl.

[Marcus Parks]

Now. While Felix Kirsten was tending to Heinrich Himmler's health in 1942, Adolf Hitler's bodily functions were nose diving. And Himmler was taking special note of every ailment.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Couldn't help but notice you're sick.

[Marcus Parks]

See, even though Himmler was terrified of Adolf Hitler, he still coveted the position of Fuhrer. So for Himmler, the path of least resistance towards that goal would be Hitler dying of natural causes, which seemed more and more likely as the war dragged, dragged on. See, by 1942, Adolf Hitler. By the way, Adolf Hitler had syphilis.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Oh, we know. Yeah, I did.

[Marcus Parks]

And it was untreated.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Isn't it all, like there's so many things said about him, about his life and what. In his health and. Right.

[Marcus Parks]

Like there's many, many things said about it.

[Ben Kissel]

The one ball is the one that I always think of.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Is that true?

[Marcus Parks]

As far as I know, I'm gonna say it is.

[Ben Kissel]

Oh, yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Oh, yeah. That idea that I got bitten off by a Jewish goat. I don't know if that's true. I don't know how they could tell if it's Jewish. It depends on the goat's mother.

[Marcus Parks]

There's a ton of st. Stuff about Hitler. So, you know, there's also, you know, the, there's the fact that Hitler was a meth head and that he was constant. You know, everyone's seen the, the footage of him at the Olympics, like just tweaking his ass off, rocking back and forth.

[Henry Zebrowski]

We know he was on meth. We know that.

[Marcus Parks]

Perfect. And he was on perfect. Like his, actually his, his personal doctor was the guy who created Pervitin. The, the fucking. The meth that all of the Nazis were on. Yeah, he, like the doctor used to like inject him with belladonna and strychnine because Hitler also had really bad stomach. Sometimes he'd give him bull semen, like just whatever. Oh, yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Old fashioned way.

[Marcus Parks]

And everyone was like, really? Like, that's what it said, is that Hitler's doctor was the best friend the Allies ever had.

[Ben Kissel]

Oh, man. That's the one thing I know about bull semen and strychnine. Not Jewish medicine.

[Marcus Parks]

That sounds very Aryan. Yeah, yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

But also great tasting, great tasting menu there. Have you ever been to bull semen? A stick nine. It's amazing.

[Ben Kissel]

Yeah, I like bull semen. So one of the few semens you could fry up.

[Marcus Parks]

Hitler's untreated syphilis began showing symptoms by 1942. Insomnia, dizziness headaches, progressive paralysis. And by 1943, Hitler was showing signs of Parkinson's disease. This could be seen clearly in the final footage that was shot of Hitler, where his hand is shaking like there's a motor attached to it while he was talking to a group of Hitler Youth just before the bad day in the bunker.

[Ben Kissel]

It's all that Hiling.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, too much.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Too much hiling, you know, carpal tunnel hike and Schleich.

[Ben Kissel]

He waved at so many people, he couldn't stop at the end.

[Marcus Parks]

But as Hitler's health began to devolve alongside the Nazi war effort, with the Americans pushing into Italy from Africa, the British destroying city after city and bombing campaigns, and the Soviet standing strong in Stalingrad, Hitler retreated to the most nerdily named Nazi clubhouses yet. This military outpost, located in the forests of East Prussia, was called, without irony, the Wolf Slayer.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah, the old details Wag Vanacy, Hitler. Yeah, it sounds like a furry club.

[Marcus Parks]

It does.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Sounds like. It sounds like a place where you buy dice.

[Ben Kissel]

This is where my dog sleep.

[Marcus Parks]

Once Hitler retreated to the Wolf Slayer, he didn't go outside, he didn't exercise, and he only received his ministers, trusted men like Gold, Goring, Goebbels and, of course, Himmler. Himmler, however, was not the only one who could see that the cheese was sliding off Hitler's cracker. Goring, in particular, was trying to position himself to take over his Fuhrer. But Himmler remained cautious and did his best to stay out of the machinations of the other top Nazis whenever he visited the Wolf's Lair. Now, as the Russian counter attack kept going badly for the Nazis on the Eastern Front, it became quite obvious that the Soviets were going to begin retaking land. Once retaken, the Soviets were going to very quickly discover what the Einsatz Groupen had done in the wake of the initial Nazi advance and in the years since the Nazis had occupied the land.

[Henry Zebrowski]

And they're going to be like, great idea.

[Ben Kissel]

Yeah. I was going to say, would they even care?

[Henry Zebrowski]

No, no, no. Well, they do.

[Marcus Parks]

Bad Soviets.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Oh, yeah, yeah, they killed everybody. It's. It's the wanton killing of want of women and children.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, they cared quite a bit. And we'll show later, later on just how much they cared and how they showed their displeasure to the German people. Well, the top Nazis began discussing how to remove any traces of the mass executions that had been carried out by the Einsatzgruppen between 1939 and 1943. And the best idea they had was dreamed up by a Nazi with the ridiculous name of Paul Blobel. But in contrast to the hilarious name, Blobbel was actually one of the worst of Himmler's men.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I actually don't know why you thought my name would make me. I don't know why you thought you should raise your expectations for me. My name's Mr. Blowbo.

[Ben Kissel]

Let me put some more blubber in your mouth here, Mr. Blowbo.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I'm honestly so sad. I don't know if I could commit atrocities today. I'm really not into it. I need to make a mental health break for my atrocities.

[Ben Kissel]

Here, enjoy another fatwurst.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Thank you. I don't bite.

[Marcus Parks]

Well, in addition to pioneering the use of the gas vans and organizing the massacre at Babi Yar, that's by the way, the worst single massacre in all of World War II. Thank you. Blobal had also developed the concentration camp gas chambers.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Well, yeah, well, why don't you read all my credits?

[Marcus Parks]

I actually don't have time to go through all the horrible things that Blowbull did.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I know.

[Marcus Parks]

But since Blowbull had made the. The mess, he was given the job of cleaning it up. Blobal's best idea was to just burn the millions of corpses in a series of ghastly bonfires. So he began stacking the corpses with railroad ties and soaking the piles in gasoline. But this open air cremation system caused health problems for everyone involved. And the massive amount of bodily fluids leaking from the corpses seeped so deeply into the ground that it began to poison the water wells.

[Ben Kissel]

Idiot.

[Marcus Parks]

Well, what are you gonna do?

[Ben Kissel]

You gotta get rid of them.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I say don't kill them in the first place.

[Marcus Parks]

You know, that would be better controversial.

[Henry Zebrowski]

That's me though. Yeah, I'm a.

[Marcus Parks]

Now the Nazis very much needed a solution here because In February of 1943, the Nazis were at long last defeated in the battle of Stalingrad. The bloodiest battle in human history. Stalingrad had consumed 1.8 million lives.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Jesus Christ.

[Marcus Parks]

But the Soviets had come out on top and the Nazis were fully in retreat. Seeing the writing on the walls, Heinrich Himmler contacted Paul Blobel and told him to redouble his efforts in destroying any evidence of genocide that had been committed by the Einsatzgruppen on Himmler's orders. So In August of 1943, Blobel returned to the Babi Yar ravine in Kyiv, where he began unearthing the mass graves and burning the bodies. Because after trying dynamite again to gruesome effect.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I just keep trying. I'M sorry. It's kind of fun for me.

[Ben Kissel]

I got to move.

[Marcus Parks]

Open air cremation was still the best idea any of them could come up with. Health hazards be damned. Global had a team of 64 people working around the clock to destroy the corpses that the Nazis had dumped in Babi Yar. And even though he managed to exhume and destroy an estimated 120,000, 85,000 corpses, he didn't even come close to destroying all of the evidence of Einsatzgroupen activities by the time the Nazis retreated from Russia.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Seriously, you guys gotta calm down, do all this.

[Marcus Parks]

He did have to get. Call up Himmler and be like, oh, I'm really sorry. I just didn't get it done in time.

[Henry Zebrowski]

It was just like, it's a lot of bodies lot. The holidays are coming up. Let me come back around. Let's catch up to this. Let's. Let's circle around back.

[Marcus Parks]

You want to circle? You want to circle around? Okay. Okay. Yeah, yeah. Send a message to mine assistant. She said, circle round.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I'll have my booker reach out for that. We gotta circle back. January Q1.

[Marcus Parks]

Heinrich Himmler, meanwhile, was very much starting to realize that if anyone was going down for this whole Holocaust thing, it was gonna be him. So in May of 1944, Himmler did what any good fascist criminal does when the walls are closing in. He made everyone else complicit.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Time to me to make like Mary Lou Retton and flip.

[Marcus Parks]

Oh, he's not flipping yet.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Not yet.

[Marcus Parks]

This is not already in there.

[Henry Zebrowski]

He's preparing. Yeah, he's stretching the cab. Yeah, no stretching the cabs. He's waiting. He's trying to figure out how to flip.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. See, while the Nazis did talk a lot in public about getting rid of the Jewish people, the Final solution itself was not openly talked about very often.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Because that would be Mickleball criminally liable.

[Marcus Parks]

Yep. And if it was, it was rarely discussed in explicit terms amongst the top Nazi brass. I mean, yeah, the Einsatz group and guys talked about it, you know. You know, the guys at Auschwitz, they talked about it.

[Henry Zebrowski]

You could say that. Like, that's just them daydreaming and having fun.

[Marcus Parks]

But Heinrich Himmler gave a speech to all of the top Nazi officials in which he defended his decision to continue exterminating Jews no matter what, saying that all Nazis were, quote, forced to come to the grim decision that these people must be made to disappear from the face of the earth. But the point of this speech really was that there was now no top Nazi who could say that he didn't know exist exactly what Heinrich Himmler had been doing in the name of the Nazi party.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Did they all go when he said that?

[Marcus Parks]

They all go.

[Henry Zebrowski]

No, he's been extern.

[Marcus Parks]

He's been killing Jews.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Killing the. I thought they went on a big field where they would just run and play.

[Marcus Parks]

Sorry. Then did we stop with the Madagascar plan? I thought that was the idea. I thought that was event.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Honestly, I just knew that the lemurs were too fun for them to mix with the Jews. We didn't want them all singing songs and learning group dances.

[Ben Kissel]

Ishvar too.

[Marcus Parks]

But in other words, it was now in every top Nazi's best interest to either help Himmler cover up what he done or do whatever they could to avoid defeat. Because the hidden message behind Himmler's speech was that if I'm going down, all you are going down with me.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Oh, yeah. The ultimate Nazi.

[Ben Kissel]

Did we know what was happening at this point?

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Ben Kissel]

And we were just ignoring it, or was it because I'm very like. It's confusing. Confusing to me because it's because I see certain things, movies that are like, oh, apparently the Jew. The. The Germans are killing Jews. And no one had any idea until they actually showed up to a concentration camp.

[Marcus Parks]

Watch the Kin burn series. America and the Holocaust. It's like three parts. It's really devastating, but it is incredible. And it will answer every question that.

[Henry Zebrowski]

You have because I know you haven't had enough.

[Ben Kissel]

Yeah, no, I need another 12 hour series to really get the answers here.

[Marcus Parks]

And this. And this one's gonna make you feel really bad about your own country too.

[Ben Kissel]

Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

Instead of just humanity as a whole.

[Ben Kissel]

Well, I know we turned them all away when they tried to come here.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Oh, yeah, buddy.

[Marcus Parks]

Now the Soviets retaking territory after territory in the east was bad enough. But on June 6, 1944, time to feel good again. The Allies pulled off the largest single amphibious invasion in history. D Day. And with the invasion of France, the Nazis were now fighting a war on two fronts. With that, the Nazis were well and truly. And none of the top Nazis feared the Allied invasion more than Heinrich Himmler. He had been, to say the least, a very bad boy. And he knew that the world just wasn't gonna get what he was trying to accomplish. So Himmler basically began cleaning up for when company finally arrived, because he knew.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Someone was gonna have to be in charge after all this goes down.

[Marcus Parks]

Oh, yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah. Somebody's got to be there to. To restart the German government.

[Marcus Parks]

Mm. On July 29th, just after D Day, Himmler decided to shut down his research institute, the Anarb.

[Henry Zebrowski]

And that must have really hurt for him.

[Marcus Parks]

It really did. See, while the Anarba had started with archaeological digs and study groups dedicated to the Icelandic Edda, they had by the end of the war, become deeply enmeshed in building a Jewish skeleton collection sourced from various human experiments that Himmler had overseen. They needed to better identify who was Jewish and who wasn't because they actually found that there were actually quite a few Jews who had blonde hair and blue eyes. So they were like, what we need to do. They actually said like, we need to get 124 Jewish skulls for skeletons and we need them to be very pristine. And then we can figure out exactly how we can tell who's Jewish and who's not.

[Ben Kissel]

God, they just wasted so much fucking time. I know they did a lot of other horrible things, but I just like the, the rational part of me is like, what are you doing?

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah, it's cause they. Because hate blind blinds them. Hate blinds them. And you think it's like when you go record shopping where they don't want to just order any Jewish skeleton off the Internet, they want to find one. They want to find a good one.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, yeah. It's about, it's about the hunt. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Ben Kissel]

And did they find anything was different? No, of course not.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. As far as far as I know.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yamaka Dense. Yeah, that's different. That it's a whole. That's another depends on what kind of Jewish person you are.

[Marcus Parks]

Well, it was all based on phrenology, you know, the, the pseudoscience where it's like the shape of your head, the shape of skull predicts all of your behavior. Even predicts like what jobs you'll be good at.

[Ben Kissel]

That stupid Django Unchained.

[Marcus Parks]

Exactly. Yeah. And the Nazis were, were full believers in that. And the Jewish skeleton collection was an outcropping of phrenology. But when Himmler had the Ahnenerba evacuated, he had his scientists hide all their research files in an actual cave called Little Devil's Hole near the village of Pottenstein for later return retrieval. Because as we're about to find out, Heinrich Himmler was nothing if not an optimist. He fully believed that he could somehow weather the coming storm, if only he could position everything in just the right light. And once he pulled that off, his scientists would be able to return to their so called research once the heat had died down.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Just him looking at the Holocaust, being like, they're gonna get over this. Yeah, they're all, everybody's gonna get over this. We're gonna really move.

[Ben Kissel]

And then.

[Henry Zebrowski]

And he, he was correct.

[Ben Kissel]

That attitude, though, had gotten him where he was at this point.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, it had like, just keep, just keep pushing forward no matter what.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Just keep swimming.

[Marcus Parks]

Now, most of the serious military minds in the Vermont knew that the war was unwinnable after D Day, and they saw absolutely no point in continuing the fight. But they also knew that the war was going to drag on for as long as Adolf Hitler was in power. Fighting the death was actually kind of Hitler's dream anyway.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah, it's like if a pilot's always wanted to go crashing his plane.

[Ben Kissel]

And that's why he refused to leave Berlin, right?

[Marcus Parks]

Well, yeah, I mean, he went, he went to Berlin because. Partly because that's. He had nowhere else to go. And, you know, that's just. He knew that was the place of last resort. And he knew that the Russians would have to kill as many people as possible if he was right in the center of Berlin, then they would have to kill everybody, everyone to get to Hitler. Because the big reason why so many Germans believe that they were quote unquote, stabbed in the back with their surrender after World War I is because while the Great War seemed to be going well in the eyes of the average soldier on the ground in 1919, soldiers like Adolf Hitler himself, Germany's generals had gamed out the whole thing and had rightfully seen that the Great War was unwinnable. So rather than needlessly waste lives on pride, the Germans surrendered in 1919 to spare the German people the of a war that would have destroyed all of Germany for no reason at all. Hitler, of course, was of the exact opposite mindset.

[Ben Kissel]

Sequels always worse.

[Marcus Parks]

Yep. If victory for Germany was impossible, then Hitler was going to take Germany all the way down to the depths of hell with him as he melted down. Because if fascist leaders are good at anything, it's temper tantrums. That's actually how they describe Hitler much of the time. Like he's got the. The temperament of a toddler. Yeah. He throws tantrums. Constant, constantly. And he's always been that way.

[Ben Kissel]

Yeah, that's how he's depicted in most movies.

[Marcus Parks]

And so in order to try to spare the total destruction of Germany In World War II, a group of senior Nazis decided to finally take Hitler out with a time bomb briefcase planted in the Wolf Slayer in what came to be known as Operation Valkyrie.

[Ben Kissel]

Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

Now the briefcase planted by a colonel named Klaus Philip Maria Justinian Shank Graf von Stauffenberg.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Concentrating on names because. Concentrating on assassinating Hitler.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Ben Kissel]

You can't decide if you're Santa Claus.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Start writing blueprints for how to kill it. Are you, Maria, like, holy. Concentrate a little bit.

[Marcus Parks]

The briefcase was tragically pushed away from Hitler completely by accident. After von Stauffenberg set the timer, another Nazi took the brunt of the blast, and Hitler came away with only minor injuries. It really is a quirk of history. There were 10 minutes between the time that he set the timer and the time that the bomb went off. And someone just, oh, this briefcase is in the way seat and moved it.

[Ben Kissel]

That's so annoying.

[Marcus Parks]

It really is.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Two suitcases, six suitcases. You're gonna have to blow up the room you're in. Sorry, guys. Everybody's gotta go.

[Ben Kissel]

Yeah, maybe just strap it to your chest. I don't know. Sorry, guys.

[Marcus Parks]

Heinrich Himmler, of course, was tasked with finding the assassins. Himmler learned the identities of the conspirators and had them arrested and executed. Executed the very next day. Hitler was characteristically furious. But the attempted assassination had only served to shrink the circle of people that Hitler trusted to an even smaller number.

[Ben Kissel]

And didn't Hitler love von Stauffenberg?

[Marcus Parks]

He did. Von Stauffenberg was one of the most respected soldiers in all of Germany. Everyone loved von Stauffenberg.

[Henry Zebrowski]

It. Burke. It really broke his heart. See that? It's a guy he trusted.

[Marcus Parks]

No, and. And that is the. The thing about Hitler is that, yeah, near the end, like, he's just viz. Everybody turning on me.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Everybody's mad at me as if I started a war with the world. It's like the whole world is angry with me and my actions.

[Ben Kissel]

Do you think that those Nazis weren't Nazis, or do you think that they were just trying to, like, save face for when this all came crashing down?

[Marcus Parks]

Can it all be one the guys in Operation Valkyrie?

[Ben Kissel]

Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. Complicated answer because there were a lot of Germans in the Vermont who hated the Nazis, hated Hitler. But they kind of justified staying in the war because they said that they were fighting for the German people and they were doing everything they could to try to save as many German lives as possible. They said if I abandon. If I abandoned my people, then all of these boys are going to die. But on the other hand, that also meant that they were fighting for Adolf Hitler at the end of the day.

[Ben Kissel]

So it's like the trainers at SeaWorld.

[Marcus Parks]

Yes, actually almost exactly like that.

[Ben Kissel]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

It's like the people who build the bears at Build a bear making these soulless autonomous to go live life and then die and go to hell. They'll never be saved by the light.

[Ben Kissel]

Of starting to feel guilty selling all.

[Henry Zebrowski]

These bears, releasing them into the world to be tortured and then buried alive. This podcast is brought to you by Squarespace. Squarespace is the all in one website platform designed to help your business stand out and succeed online. Every dream needs a domain. Which is why I finally solidified the borders of my own animals URL register.com you will bend to my will. Thanks to the power of Squarespace, I have been quantifyingly organizing every single available animal based creative business URL that is around and I'm coining them for myself. Wonderful things such as buffalo sauce sauce.com such as kangaroo hats.com such as many different chickens shoes.com in a doll held behind the giant iron powerful Squarespace fuel gates I animalsurl register.com and any one of you that dares defy me or the unilateral power of Squarespace with their blueprint AI Squarespace AI Enhanced Design Partner which sounds like the mo Hand in hand we will march across the graves of URLs that people have been trying to steal from under me using the canons ofAnimals URL register.com Me AI my old buddy Jeff Bezos. We're coming for you. All right. Squarespace is going to help me. Squarespace is my bullets. Squarespace is my canvas. Squarespace is my God. We like Squarespace here. Head to squarespace.com left for a free trial when you're ready to launch, use offer code left to save 10 off your first purchase of a website or domain. The first few weeks of school are in the books. Now it's the time to keep that momentum going. Yeah, never let him off the hook. IXL helps kids stay confident and ahead of the curve. IXL is an award winning online learning platform that helps kids truly understand what they're learning, whether they're brushing up on math or diving into social media studies. Once they get out of school, you put them in school at home. I love to see it. I want to smell the pencils burning. And in case you didn't know, I Excel is used in 96 of the top 100 school districts in the US. Those other four districts, they are turning children into robots and slaves. I Excel is freeing your children from the slavery of Minecraft Control from those four school districts that don't use ixl. Don't trust the districts that don't use ixl. It's great out there. Ixl has been wonderful. Carmi actually said suvu play may me please have some chicken. The other day I said where you learn to talk? And she said I learned it from watching you daddy. And I said no, you learned it from watching me. Do I excel at at you? Good work army. Now let's go make some money with this talking dog. Make an impact on your child's learning. Get IXL now and Last podcast on the left. Listeners can get an exclusive 20 off IXL membership when they sign up today at ixl.com left. Visit ixl.com left to get the most effective learning program out there at the best price. If you could stop someone from breaking into your home before the even got itself side, why wouldn't you? Traditional security systems only respond after break in. Simply Safe is different. With their active guard outdoor protection, you can prevent crimes before they happen. AI powered cameras detect threats while they are still outside your home and alert real security agents. I want to get mine retrofuted so it could shoot nets or big piles of sticky sticky goo that will make the criminals froze to the spot. And then I can take their phones and subscribe them to our wonderful podcasts here at Last Podcast Network. I wish that my Simply Safe AI powered cameras could see the entire world so that I could catch every instance of crime before it happens. And yes, my reign will be both terrible and awesome. You will eventually see that using the power of AI camera cameras fueled by the strength of Simply Safe will allow me to apply a, yes, cold and impersonal yet kind ruling hand to ours. We also use it here at the studio and they're got really good customer service. So thank you guys so much for using Simply Safe and I hope that you do. Don't miss out on Simply Safe's biggest sale of the year. 60% off. Right now our listeners can save 60% off on a SimpliSafe home security system at SimpliSafe.com LPOTL that's SimpliSafe.com LPOTl there's no safe like Simplisafe now.

[Marcus Parks]

Outwardly, Himmler was still acting as if the Nazis would never be defeated. He began leaning hard on Werner von Braun's V2 rockets as Nazi Germany's savior. But while those designs would eventually take America to the moon after we scooped up von Braun in operation paperclip, the V2 rockets wouldn't do dick to help the Nazis win the war. Sure, it'd kill a lot of British people, but did not do anything to take and hold land. That's Why?

[Ben Kissel]

I like those V3 rockets.

[Marcus Parks]

Well, as such, the Allied forces kept gaining momentum. And as they took more land and began liberating more concentration camps, the machinery of Himmler's genocide was becoming more and more difficult to operate. So he was obvious by Spring of 1944 that the Allied forces were definitely going to find Auschwitz. And Himmler knew that once they discovered the full extent of that horror show, there was going to be no coming back for the Third Reich.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Which one is left? Oh, that's fine. Oh, that one's fine. Bugenwald is fine. Dark house. Oh, no.

[Ben Kissel]

You know, they say hindsight is 20.

[Marcus Parks]

20.

[Ben Kissel]

But not for me, though.

[Marcus Parks]

You know, you make that joke, but he kind of made that argument later on to a Jew.

[Ben Kissel]

Great.

[Marcus Parks]

Himmler also knew that his name would be the first one given to Allied forces as the man who gave most of the direct orders for genocide. But Himmler was, as I said, an optimist. And at the end of the day, Himmler really just didn't want to die, whether it be by an enemy bullet or at the end of a noose.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah, he was a coward.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. So even though he knew that the Third Reich was fucked, he convinced himself that a few goodwill gestures would be enough to rehabilitate his personal reputation, even though announcements had already been made that war crime trials were coming for all top Nazis as soon as the war was over. It's at this point in the story that we see the return of Heinrich Himmler's masseur, Felix Kirsten. See, Felix really was an incredible massage therapist with high powered clients. So he did actually have a lot of connections to officials and foreign governments. In fact, Felix Kirsten had been contacted by special American envoys on orders from none them of other than Franklin Delano Roosevelt in 1943.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Why does this feel like. Like telling Ko kin to go kill Saddam Hussein. You know what I mean? Like, what are we doing here? Why are we involving this man?

[Marcus Parks]

Because he's the only. He is the one who has Himmler's ear. He's the only one who has a direct line to Himler. And people know Himmler listens to Felix.

[Ben Kissel]

Yeah. And, you know, maybe FDR just was like, hey, maybe he could help with my scoliosis.

[Marcus Parks]

It was polio.

[Ben Kissel]

Polio.

[Marcus Parks]

It was polio. And his favorite. Actually, his favorite treatment for his polio was going down to the hot springs in Georgia, and he actually had founded a. A whole polio kind of getaway for kids down there.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah, that's where you get pegged.

[Ben Kissel]

I thought that was Eleanor's girlfriend.

[Marcus Parks]

Nope. Eleanor had her own cottage up in upstate New York.

[Ben Kissel]

Yeah, it was right next to FDR's house. You can actually see it from the other building.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah, her pussy palace.

[Marcus Parks]

Y well, the reason why FDR had sent this envoy is because he wanted to see if Heinrich Himmler wanted to. To negotiate the end of the Third Reich in 1943 when it became obvious that there was just no talking to this Hitler guy.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah. And Himmler was Joe, what a great guy. I guess that's a problem too, is you do kind of. It's this normalization. Well, you're just gonna still treat it like it's just some other government.

[Marcus Parks]

Well, you're just trying anything you can at this point. Like he, like he's, he's really trying anything that you can.

[Henry Zebrowski]

We give, we give. Eddie and I love to make fun of fdr, but he did do his best.

[Marcus Parks]

He did.

[Ben Kissel]

He's one of our best presidents.

[Marcus Parks]

Yes, he is. Yeah. You know, it's just like, it's just.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Fun to get to randomly attack him.

[Marcus Parks]

Of course. Yeah, he did some horrible things, but he also did some absolutely incredible things as well.

[Ben Kissel]

Yeah, he's still a president.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Ben Kissel]

You know, there's still a piece of. Because he became a president.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

All of them are criminals.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah. Anybody who's a president, a monster.

[Marcus Parks]

Now, Heinrich Himmler had scoffed at the idea of negotiating with the Allies when Felix first approached him with it. But after Germany's last attempt at a Western offensive failed with the Battle of the Bulge, and as the Soviets inched ever closer to Berlin from the East, Heinrich Himmler decided that maybe it was time to revisit his masseurs connections. In 1945. Now, Himmler was not the only top Nazi trying to negotiate with the Allied forces in the last year of the war.

[Henry Zebrowski]

That's my favorite, that they all ran to go to negotiate.

[Marcus Parks]

Quiet. Quite a few of them did. And when we're, I mean, at this point, yeah, like, you know, Rudolph Hess had already flown to Scotland to try to negotiate the end of the war. Like, you know, a lot of the guys would be like him, just sort.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Of be like, I've always loved Scotland.

[Marcus Parks]

When word of these negotiations reached Hitler, Hitler announced that any German who helped the British, the Americans or the Jews, they would be executed. But Himmler was far better at hiding his negotiations than others. Or at least he was for the time being.

[Henry Zebrowski]

He got real close.

[Marcus Parks]

See, Hitler and Himmler had a little meeting at the Wolf's Layer just after Hitler heard that some of his men were negotiating.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Come with me to the Cub house.

[Ben Kissel]

Say the Cub house.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I like that.

[Marcus Parks]

And Himmler, immediately after, gave the order that no concentration camp inmate in the southern half of Germany should fall into enemy hands alive. But while Hitler was obviously trying to just take as many people with him as he could, as he possibly could, especially if they were Jewish, the Nazi fever was finally breaking. And many of the concentration camp commandants were finally realizing that they were about to be in a lot of trouble.

[Ben Kissel]

No, we're really not supposed to be doing this.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I'm gonna say, honestly, since the very beginning of this whole thing, I felt weird.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

You know, this whole thing just seemed kind of off.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. I didn't want to say anything.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

But it's hard to say. You know, everyone's into it, but I now, in hindsight. Well, because these concentration camp commandants had seen what was coming, the concentration camp deaths had therefore begun to slow down considerably, despite the kill them all order. And Himmler likewise decided that he was going to use the remaining 200,000 Jews still being held in concentration concentration camps as bargaining chips to save his own skin.

[Ben Kissel]

Now, this was where I'm confused because I'm pretty sure that when they were, the concentration camps were shutting down. Didn't that when the deaths march start, the death marches started and they just started killing everyone?

[Marcus Parks]

It is highly complicated. And a lot of different things, like, many different things happen. Like, many things can be true all at once. Like, Himmler did want to use Jews as bargaining chips, but there was also certain concentration camps like Auschwitz, who's like, empty out Auschwitz and. But they just put these people on death marches to other camps to move.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Them away from where these soldiers were coming.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. Because they're. Because they're trying to hide them. They're trying to hide. And it really is like. And they're doing it in a panic because, like, I don't know what the fuck. Just. Just take them somewhere else. Taking somewhere else.

[Ben Kissel]

Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

And that's, you know, they're. They're trying to. What they were trying to do is they were trying to hide them.

[Ben Kissel]

Yeah. And it basically, it also. It's like they're all witnesses.

[Marcus Parks]

Yes, they are all witnesses. And remember, there are thousands of concentration camps. Camps.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

And every single concentration camp commandant is thinking, I'm probably on chopping block, but.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Maybe mine's not the worst one.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. Well, that is, unfortunately, how it eventually worked out.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Oh, yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

But while Himmler was trying to formulate a plan to save himself, Adolf Hitler dropped just about the biggest pile of possible directly onto Heinrich Himmler's plate number two. Yeah. With so many of Hitler's top military men either captured, dead, or in open negotiation with the Allies, Hitler gave direct command of, of the Air Force to Hermann Goering, while command of the ground forces were turned completely over to Heinrich Himmler. Now, Goring had actually been in the military in World War I. He was a hero pilot. But Heinrich Himmler had never served in the military in any capacity, aside from the scant training he'd received as a teenager. So his short reign as a military strategist was predictably disastrous. To try and make up for his lack of military expertise, Himmler enlisted a staff of SS men in to advise him. But if you'll remember, the SS was a paramilitary force.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah, they're all faking it.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. So none of his advisors had any on the ground military experience either. It's all theoretical to them. See, Heiner Kimler was incredibly good at organizing mass murder. He was very good at killing people. But according to soldiers under his command, he was incapable of keeping people alive, incapable of understanding the logistics of moving men and supplies, incapable of knowing how many men were needed to hold. Hold a position. Himmler's biggest up, for example, was his withdrawal of Nazi forces from the precise place where the Red army was pushing through into Germany. These forces, the last remaining Nazis who could actually fight, were ordered to retreat to just outside of Berlin, or they were ordered to defend concentration camps that were likely to fall into Allied hands. Again to cover up for Himmler's crimes.

[Henry Zebrowski]

And it's a way to look like he's trying to do the utmost to save Hitler at the very, very. The very end.

[Ben Kissel]

Yes, such a. Yeah, he is.

[Marcus Parks]

The Nazis on the Red army front were disastrously replaced with inexperienced cadets and members of the Volkssturm, the so called People's army that was mostly made up of old men and children. These replacements were of course, slaughtered by the Reds who continued their unstoppable march towards Berlin. But even though Himmler was a terrible military commander, he was still the second most powerful man in the Third Reich. And while he was certainly doing his best to cover up his war crimes just in case, he was still absolutely convinced even in 1945, that he could pull off some miracle that would both win the war and put Himmler in the position of furor.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Is it just. Yeah, it's just, wow, they're so confident.

[Marcus Parks]

Well, he's delusional. And because he's been. You got to remember this guy's been delusional his entire life.

[Henry Zebrowski]

The way he's always worked for him.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. The way he sees that. He's always seen the world in a way that nobody else sees it.

[Ben Kissel]

Yeah. And so I was such a bad farmer.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, yeah.

[Ben Kissel]

Gotta use water.

[Marcus Parks]

Can't use Gatorade. Yeah. And so in the final months of the war, Himmler became obsessed with a scheme to build a bizarre electrical weapon based on the fantasies surrounding Norse mythology that have been nurtured by his bogus Onenerba research. All of this. God, this just makes me want to play Wolfenstein so far again.

[Ben Kissel]

Oh yeah. It's like Doom, but with Nazi piece. It's so much more fun.

[Marcus Parks]

It's made by the same people.

[Ben Kissel]

Oh, yeah, that makes sense.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, yeah, it's. I love Wolfenstein so much. See, Heinrich Himmler really did believe that the story of Thor's hammer, Mjolnir was an actual history involving a sophisticated piece of electrical engineering that the ancient Aryans had developed as a weapon. And this isn't like during the heady days of 1935 when everything is just sort of like theoretical. Like this is when Nazi Germany is rubble. And he still believes, believes in this. So Himmler ordered his staff to stop at nothing to build a modern version of Mjolnir that would shut down all the electrical systems of the Allied forces. Which admittedly wasn't the worst idea because this is actually possible with electromagnetic pulses. EMPs.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah, if you could figure that out.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. But the company that Himmler tasked with building the modern Mjolnir, a company called Ella Mag, they did not have the brains to pull it off. In what's probably the most Nazi scientist shit that I've ever heard, the L Mag engineers said that they could transform the Earth's atmosphere into a giant remote control that can turn off all of the Allies electrical equipment.

[Henry Zebrowski]

And then we will use the all powerful rewind button to push back the Allied advance. And then we will use the pause button. And then we will use the tracking button in order to possibly more clearly see where they are located. And then we use guns and bombs.

[Ben Kissel]

They've gone full spaceballs at this point.

[Henry Zebrowski]

They went from suck to blow.

[Marcus Parks]

Well, Ellimac actually drew up blueprints for this idea.

[Henry Zebrowski]

That's easy to do. Yeah, I draw you big old remote control on a. On a piece of white paper.

[Marcus Parks]

It's easy. And Himmler took Alamag's ideas to the SS technical office who studied the blueprints for weeks. They eventually had to tell Himler that It was all just a fantasy. But Himler refused to accept it. He got a second opinion from an expert on electromagnetism who very gently, very, very gently told Hinr Himmler that the L Mag engineers kissing his hands, kissing his wrist. Yes.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I love you so much. I love your hate so much.

[Marcus Parks]

They very gently told Himmler that the Ellimag engineers were basically talking out of their ass. So Himmler was forced to abandon his quest for Germany's Mjolnir. Ironically, though, Himmler was rushing to engineer a doomsday weapon at the end of the war, when it was Heinrich Himmler himself who had turned down Werner Heisenberg's plans to build an atomic bomb years earlier in nineteen nineteen forty two.

[Henry Zebrowski]

This would be better than the stupid atomic bomb. It'd be better and bigger and more. It's more impressive because it's electric powers like forehead. We're unplugging the Allies. How cool is that? How cool is that? To send a static shock like when von robs your feet on the carpet and you touch a balloon. How desperate and powerful would that powerful end of world weapon be? And static electricity, the hair up to the skies of every allied force?

[Marcus Parks]

I don't know. That sounds Jewish. Zoe, you heard of a Jew fro, right? That just sounds like a big Jew fro to me.

[Henry Zebrowski]

You accusing me of being Jewish by saying that you Jew.

[Ben Kissel]

Someone needs to get Felix in here.

[Marcus Parks]

By the end of March 1945, the Allied bombers had reduced both Berlin and Munich to rubble, and the Soviets were just 100 kilometers from Berlin. The Soviets had also been taking revenge along the way, committing unforgivable atrocities of their own as payback for what Hitler and the Einsatzgruppen had done in the East. There is a harrowing documentary called. I think it's called Berlin 1945. That is shocking. Adolf Hitler, of course, had now come to blame every bad thing that had happened directly on Heinrich Himmler.

[Ben Kissel]

I mean, it's fun.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. I mean, finally, I mean, Himler's been his bitching post for years. And so now he's become the focus point of Himler's rage. Their relationship had quickly soured when it became obvious that Himmler was a terrible military commander. And Hitler, as a show of humiliation, had ordered that any forces under Himler's command had to remove Hitler's name from their uniforms.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I'm doing this, buddy.

[Marcus Parks]

But while Hitler refused to capitulate no matter what terms were offered, and was very much determined to drag Germany into hell no matter how deep it went. Heinrich Himmler still very much wanted to live by this point. He thought that he could shorten the war himself and pivot to a solely anti Soviet stance. Then he could position Germany, no longer Nazi, as a bulwark against the Russians. With Himmler in charge. Not a bad plan. It's really not.

[Ben Kissel]

I mean, I hate him, but it's good plan.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Well, the idea of thinking that we'd automatically be like, oh, sure, wasn't that far off either.

[Marcus Parks]

Well, I mean. Well, Himler sent this proposal to the Allies, but the Allies were by this point well aware of what Himmler had done as commander of the ss. So the Allies basically said, are you kidding me? And promptly turned down Himler's offer. Like, yeah, we might do that, but it ain't going to be with you.

[Henry Zebrowski]

No, we're going to use far less effective Nazis to run your next government and they're going to ruin everything by not even being good at being not very good Nazis.

[Marcus Parks]

Well, I mean, what they tried to do at first was to de Nazify everything, but the problem was is that when they tried to do like, oh, yeah, let's just take all the Nazis out of the system and then, you know, we'll restart the government. And they looked around and said like, oh, everyone was a Nazi. There's no one left to run. So then they. There's no one left to actually run this country. And there's no one left who know. The people who are left don't know how anything works. So we're going to have to start playing a game of how bad of a Nazi ver you and how much can we whitewash this? And that's how, you know, Germany kind of was able to forget all the horrible things they'd done because so many people, so many, so, so, so many people went unpunished after the war.

[Ben Kissel]

Yeah. But I will say, like, instead of. It's like, it's almost worse that we, like, instead of like getting them to help us kill the Russians, we just gave half of them to Russia.

[Marcus Parks]

Well, I mean that. Well, I mean, Berlin, that's all East Germany, that's a whole different can of worms.

[Henry Zebrowski]

All I know is that if I was in charge, I would have known exactly what to do and they should have let me do it.

[Marcus Parks]

Right.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Delete the country, blank space. Fill it with various corporate entities. The entire thing. Fast food nation.

[Ben Kissel]

Give it to Nestle.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Give it to Nestle. They love water. They love. There's so much fresh water there.

[Marcus Parks]

And so as the curtain finally began to Fall on Nazi Germany. Heinrich Himmler continued the job that Hitler had given him as commander in chief of what was left of the Nazi Vermont. After retreating to his luxurious villa between Berlin and the now destroyed city of Dresden, Himm treated command almost casually. He'd wake up at 8am and get a massage from Felix. He'd finally get around looking at the dreaded war reports around 11, and then about noon, he'd eat lunch and then he'd rest because he needs his rest.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I get it. Stressful.

[Marcus Parks]

And then he'd spend another hour, maybe two, on more war reports before dinner, then after dinner. He was reportedly in bed by 10 o' clock every night and his warm. One author put it Himmler ensconced himself in his room like a terrified schoolboy, attempting to escape the wrath of an authority that overwhelmed him. Hitler, meanwhile, was still focusing all of his wrath directly on Himmler, to the point where some of Hitler's staff said that they had never seen Hitler rage so violently. That's saying something about Himmler. Near the end, Hitler would say things.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Things like, quote, I do not like him. I do not want him around me. Get him out of here.

[Ben Kissel]

Everyone's like, yeah, we've been saying that.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah, bringing that up for a while. Yeah, he sucks, dude. Thank God, because Hitler, man, you're cool. I don't care what he says, dude, you're awesome, dude.

[Ben Kissel]

Thank you.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Are you auspicious.

[Marcus Parks]

You know, everyone says, heil Hitler, but never nobody says, nobody says cool Hitler. Nobody says Hitler, oh, my God, you're.

[Henry Zebrowski]

So rad, Hitler, you know how to fuck me. No one ever said that once.

[Marcus Parks]

Now, Heinrich Himmler finally lost his military command on March 20, 1945, but there really wasn't much left to command anyway. While the remaining Nazis have been ordered to stand their ground and fight to the death no matter what, the hardened nationalists that had made up the Nazi Wehrmacht, they were fucking dead. And the army was mostly made up of foreign conscripts, schoolboys, old men and convicts. And so, with his command taken away and the Allied forces moving ever closer to victory, Heinrich Himmler decided that it was probably in his best interest to abandon his dream of becoming the Fuhrer in favor of trying to backtrack the Holocaust as much as possible. Now, Himmler's masseur, Felix Kirsten, actually played an extremely important role here. He'd been working with Allied forces to arrange safe transport to Dutch, French and Jewish prisoners out of the concentration camps, and he managed the release of some 20,000 prisoners.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Holy shit.

[Marcus Parks]

Felix actually claimed to have slowed down the entire mechanism of mass murder single handedly. At the end he said that he was the one that convinced Himmler to stop killing prisoners. But that's debatable. Felix was a. Felix like to overblow. He did play a big role, but he like to say he played an even bigger one. Like he said, like I, I saved every person in the Netherlands. I saved all of them because they were going to kill them.

[Henry Zebrowski]

It's cuz he needed to because he was massaging Himler every day.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Ben Kissel]

All he had to do is stick his thumb right up Himler's ass once.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Just make him come buy proper prostate once. What is he gonna do?

[Marcus Parks]

But whether it was Felix's idea or not, Himmler did order his concentration camp commandants in 1945 to halt all executions, surrender to the Allies and freely give up their prisoners. Now, while Felix was doing his best to save as many concentration camp prisoners as possible, he also approached another Nazi general to try and convince him to team up with Himmler so they could convince Adolf one way way or another to offer an armistice.

[Henry Zebrowski]

God, it's just such a. You're just trying to relax, okay? It's the end of the war. Do we have to talk work while you're massaging me? Does it always have to be us teaming up against Hitler?

[Marcus Parks]

But even with everything lost, Himmler was still terrified of Hitler. Because in the end, Himler was quite simply a coward in every way. Instead of standing up, Himmler assumed, assembled his staff, gave a nonsensical rambling speech and retired from all 11 of his commands.

[Henry Zebrowski]

And you won't have Heinrich Himmler to kick around anymore.

[Ben Kissel]

I'm going to stop being your leader.

[Marcus Parks]

Himmler then decided to create a more positive paper trail for himself by issuing a death penalty order to all concentration camp commandants who had allowed neglect, death and despair to fester in the the camps. Because Himmler was trying very much to frame it where none of this is my fault. Like I gave some orders. But these guys, Jesus. The camps had. In the words of Joseph Goebbels, this is a bit of an understatement. They had all grown a bit above Himmler's head.

[Ben Kissel]

Oh sure, yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Oh yeah, man.

[Ben Kissel]

He's just like, what did you do?

[Marcus Parks]

You kidding me?

[Ben Kissel]

They're doing what they're doing.

[Henry Zebrowski]

They're doing what? Fair.

[Ben Kissel]

Good work.

[Marcus Parks]

I can't believe you.

[Ben Kissel]

You're awful. Good job. What do you.

[Henry Zebrowski]

It's kind of crazy because I actually gave orders to make distraction camps that we're going to be to. It distracts the prisoners with fun times like roller hockey, all sorts of hockey, table hockey.

[Ben Kissel]

I've been thinking about celebrating Hanukkah this year.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Hockey was actually developed by the Native Americans.

[Ben Kissel]

A lot of people don't respect them, I think.

[Marcus Parks]

Well, having issued the death penalty order, Himmler in one of the ballsiest moves in human history, he had Felix Kirsten arrange a meeting with the Swedish representative of the World Jewish Congress. So Himmler could, in his own words, quote, bury the hatchet between us and the Jews.

[Henry Zebrowski]

But I just want to make sure is that you don't hold any grudges because grudges, they make us unhealthy stress. You want to let his go.

[Marcus Parks]

You remember Felix. Release an amazing.

[Henry Zebrowski]

You've got to try Felix.

[Ben Kissel]

It's a lot of massaging even for Felix.

[Henry Zebrowski]

A lot of massage.

[Marcus Parks]

Now, this meeting did lead to the release of 20,000 people. But Himmler also used the meeting to attempt a whitewashing of his role in the hall Holocaust. And he did this while speaking with the Jewish representative, a man named Norbert Masser.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Nothing I love since my good buddy here v Mench. I love my guy. What is just so nice you got to have a n which my best buddy and I every city we commit and we just talk about nothing. So much fun to sit down.

[Marcus Parks]

And.

[Ben Kissel]

I got 20,000 Jews here coming to you. It's a real mitzvah.

[Marcus Parks]

They vote. We can schlep them here. Zazeburg. Schlep.

[Ben Kissel]

Is that the now Norbert, is that the Jewish name?

[Henry Zebrowski]

I like it.

[Marcus Parks]

Amongst other lies and half hearted justifications, Himmler said that the camp crematorium. Big misunderstanding. Just nobody gets what we're trying to do here. Those crematoriums, especially the ones at Birkenau, they're only there to burn the people who died from typhus.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah. When I heard crematorium, I said yes, of course. And then next door to that we can have the yogurt factory because of course the there's a healthier yolk cream. For some people it's the whipped cream factory that shut up.

[Marcus Parks]

Himler also said that while horrible things had happened occasionally, Himmler had punished those responsible. Everything that people had heard about the camps, Himmler said it's just allied propaganda. And all of it looked a lot worse than it really was. Like, you get these guys a shower b be fine. God. Norbert Masser, of course, was astounded by Himmler's shallowness. But nevertheless, he endured two and a half hours of conversation with the architect of the Holocaust in order to save lives. And he did. Now, two days after Himmler's meeting with Norbert Masser, Himmler met with a Swedish count, where Himmler insisted that Hitler would be dead within days. This wasn't a bad guess on Himmler's part, because this meeting took place just a week before Hitler bit the bullet in his bunker in Berlin. But the purpose of this meeting was so the Swedish count could contact General Dwight D. Eisenhower to arrange for Germany's surrender to the Americans rather than the Soviet Union. Unfortunately for Himmler, though, the news of his attempt at brokering peace was made public. It hit the newspapers on April 28th. And when Hitler heard about it, he. He hit the fucking roof of that bunker.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Oh, I could just see him hanging out of the ceiling, just his shoulders.

[Marcus Parks]

It said that Hitler actually turned red when he found out about this, that his face became virtually unrecognizable in its fury because Himmler was the one Nazi that Hitler had trusted most of all. Loyal Heinrich, he called him. And so Hitler gave all of Himmler's responsibilities to Hermann Goering and he ordered Himmler's arrest. Himmler, however, wouldn't learn that Hitler knew of his betrayal until after Hitler's death, which came at long last with a suicidal bullet on April 30, 1945, just 10 days after Hitler's 56th birthday.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Man, he looked bad.

[Marcus Parks]

For 56, he looked really bad. Well, I mean he was a 56 year old meth head. They don't look good. But the other thing too is that stress. He was in the last few weeks he actually ran out of Pervitin. So in Hitler's final days, he was also going through meth withdrawals on top of everything else from.

[Ben Kissel]

That's why he turned red.

[Henry Zebrowski]

But they also had full on like orgies. All the family started like each other and it was like really? Have you read about the.

[Ben Kissel]

The.

[Marcus Parks]

No, this isn't true.

[Henry Zebrowski]

That is true. That honestly, the, the. There was a gigantic orgy amongst the soldiers.

[Ben Kissel]

But Hitler wasn't there.

[Henry Zebrowski]

No, he couldn't.

[Ben Kissel]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

Bunker orgy Hitler.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah, this is the. Yeah, it was the. The orgy of. This was all. It was all the soldiers was. When the Russians finally combusted through, all the soldiers were like fucking and sucking each other while the families were there and the families were murdered.

[Marcus Parks]

The Germany officially surrendered to the allied forces on May 7. And while Hitler and Goebbels had escaped the upcoming military tribunals to punish Germany's war Criminals through suicide. Goebbels had also, of course, had his wife and all of his children commit suicide. Suicide as well. Most of the top Nazis were still at large. One of the biggest prizes, of course, was Heinrich Himmler. Now Himmler was still fully delusional, but his delusions had shrunk with each passing day. Just after Hitler died, Himmler declared to his remaining staff that he was going to establish his own government to begin independent negotiations with the Allies. But when Germany surrendered without him, Himmler shaved his mustache, changed out of his trademark glasses, put an eye patch over his right ey, and used the ID of a police officer named Heinrich Hitzinger to travel around.

[Ben Kissel]

Hello.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Nice to meet you. My name's Horner.

[Ben Kissel]

Why are you pretending to be a woman?

[Henry Zebrowski]

I was still just a bit of a high voice individual, sir. Little crimes here. Can't see on my left side.

[Ben Kissel]

He didn't even bother to change his name?

[Henry Zebrowski]

No, he can't remember to answer to another name.

[Marcus Parks]

But they say that's actually what you want to do when you choose an alias. You want to choose somebody who has the same initials as you so you can keep your signature. And of course, if they have the same first name as you, then yes, it makes it easier to you. You will always still answer to Heinrich. It's just like there's many Heinrichs.

[Ben Kissel]

Oh, that makes a lot of sense. So he's HH and that's, you know. He then became more famous, became the.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Wrestler Triple H. That's when he graduated.

[Marcus Parks]

Didn't make any sense at all.

[Ben Kissel]

That's, you know, for years I thought that's what Triple H's name was.

[Marcus Parks]

There we go. My name's Heinrich Hurtingen. Well then, Heinrich Himmler. With his mistress, Hedvig Pothast, and their two children in tow, he laid low in the town of Flensburg for a couple of days while his staff regrouped. Many of Himmler's men had actually fled to the Alps. And from there they had planned to launch a Nazi guerrilla movement codenamed Werewolf.

[Henry Zebrowski]

We're team Jacob.

[Ben Kissel]

Just be a gorilla.

[Marcus Parks]

Nope, it's. We're Werewolves.

[Henry Zebrowski]

We're Werewolves.

[Ben Kissel]

Werewolf.

[Marcus Parks]

They're castle. But after just 11 days on the run, Heinrich Himmler and his entourage were detained at a British checkpoint. Now, the British didn't recognize Himmler because he totally changed his appearance.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yes, and I have a high voice now.

[Ben Kissel]

Cause he's not unmistakably looking at all.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, not me. But they had orders to arrest all German officers and Himmler's Papers were suspicious. Himmler eventually landed in front of a British captain named Thomas Selvesta, suffered succotash. And yes, it is Sylvester. Not Sylvester, Thomas Sylvester. Captain Thomas Sylvester @ your service. He interrogated this small, sickly excuse for a human until he finally identified himself in a very meek tone as Heinrich Himmler.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Gia. I'm Heinrich Himmler. Sorry, we don't like my high voice. I don't like this guy. Don't you wish I was this guy? This is incredible.

[Marcus Parks]

He again tried to save himself. He told Captain Sylvester. Himmler told Captain Sylvester that he could offer the services of code name Werewolf as guerrilla fighters to get the battle against the Soviets going immediately. But he could only do it if you let me talk to Vincent Winston Churchill personally.

[Henry Zebrowski]

The only way to do it, me and him hanging out cigars, you know, really, you're having a good time. Having a bunny of a time. Me and him going down there, having a nice one. Keep calm, carry on. You rhyme like you are another.

[Ben Kissel]

But it has to be during a full moon.

[Marcus Parks]

Now. Captain Sylvester wanted to make sure that this was indeed Heiner Kemmler. So he had his prisoners sign his name so they could compare handlers writing from their records. Himmler, however, thought that Captain Sylvester was a fan and only wanted an autograph as a souvenir. Schmuck.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Himler should see my. Hold my. My war crimes autographed book I have.

[Marcus Parks]

Himler, however, kept dodging responsibility until the very end, when he was shown pictures of the mountains, of corpses discovered at the Buchenwald camp. Himmler just glanced at the pictures, shrugged.

[Henry Zebrowski]

And asked, am I responsible for the excesses of my subordinates?

[Marcus Parks]

Just.

[Ben Kissel]

Yes. Yes.

[Henry Zebrowski]

This is the first time I'm hearing that, okay? And the very first time, okay? So you don't fucking act like I should know better the whole time when I should have known better, right?

[Marcus Parks]

Maybe that's how they do it in Britain, but not in Germany. Where do you think you are, you fucking shithead?

[Henry Zebrowski]

You think I'm a micromanager.

[Marcus Parks]

Now? Himmler's British jailers had already searched him thoroughly for cyanide capsules when they figured out who he was, because they had just lost. Lost a different SS detainee who had killed himself by crushing a cyanide capsule between his teeth. They did not, however, search Himmler's mouth on the first go round. I wasn't either. Yeah, get away from it. Working off a hunch, the British searched him again. But when they asked him to open his mouth, they saw a small black knob in A gap in Himmler's teeth. This, of course, was where Himmler had been hiding his sight cyanide capsule. And when the doctor examining Himmler reached for the vial, Himmler turned his head sharply and bit down on the doctor's finger, which, of course, crushed the vial as well.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Wow. He must have been so excited to finally do some violence.

[Marcus Parks]

Finally. Yeah. But I just. I feel sad for the doctor. Like, he bit me. Bit me.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Ow. Oh, no. That could have turned into a my. Could have turned it to a Nazi when the full moon comes.

[Ben Kissel]

Ow.

[Marcus Parks]

This.

[Ben Kissel]

He was so bad at violence, the only time he actually committed any. He killed himself.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

The medics tried for 15 minutes afterward to resuscitate the world's worst war criminal, even go so far as to holding him upside down and shaking his body just so Hitler could see justice.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Dude, this is the fucking. When the father goes down, Papa Atreides, he bites the fake tooth and he spits into the mouth. Mouth of the mentat.

[Marcus Parks]

Was this the proper time to insert a dune reference?

[Henry Zebrowski]

I felt that my place here needs to be celebrated.

[Marcus Parks]

You needed to be seen.

[Ben Kissel]

Himmler does look like a baby shy. Hulud.

[Henry Zebrowski]

That's cute. He did put the shy in Shai.

[Marcus Parks]

Hulud.

[Ben Kissel]

Cry hulud.

[Marcus Parks]

But in the end, the cyanide capsule enabled Himmler to. To escape justice, into the cold embrace of death. And so, after Himmler's fetid corpse rotted for two days on the floor of the room where he died, a medic made plaster casts of Himmler's head and removed his brain. Although we have no idea where the cast, nor where Himmler's brain ended up or why they wanted them.

[Ben Kissel]

They wanted it to hang out with JFK's brain.

[Marcus Parks]

You know, as they need friends and Hitler's brain. They saved Hitler's brain.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Angela Merkin's riding it.

[Ben Kissel]

Maybe that's what it is, Merkel.

[Marcus Parks]

A Merkin is a pubic wave angel. Mein riding it, dude.

[Ben Kissel]

Maybe that's what her breasts are made out of.

[Marcus Parks]

Hitler and Himmler's brain.

[Ben Kissel]

Oh, wow.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yummy, yum. Let's cut them off and see. Yeah.

[Ben Kissel]

I'm starting to crack up.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah, we are.

[Marcus Parks]

But after the Allies got what they wanted, Himmler's corpse was wrapped in army blankets, driven into the wilderness, and buried in an unmarked grave somewhere outside the German town of Lundberg, where it presumably remains to this day. Now, it bears repeating that the toll for World War II was extremely, exceedingly high. The Soviet Union alone lost 26 million people. That includes 15 million civilians. But out of the estimated 80 million who died worldwide, it was Heinrich Himmler who was personally responsible for more of those deaths than anyone else. 2 million were killed in his concentration camps. While it's estimated that the 3,000 men who made up Himmler's Einsatzgruppen were responsible for for the murders of up to 3.3 million people, on the high end of the estimates, that's 5.3 million people dead as a result of Heinrich Himmler's plans and orders. But the toll on the German people for believing the insane lies and ideas of Adolf Hitler and Heinrich Himmler, that was extraordinarily high as well. And this isn't. Oh, think of the poor Germans. These are the consequences of fascism. On the low end, 2.2 million Nazi soldiers were killed during the war. Although the number is sometimes estimated to be as high as 5.2 million. That of course doesn't even count the German civilians. Somewhere between 1.1 and 3.3 million German civilians were killed during World War II, with up to half a million dying in the Allied bombers comings alone. Additionally, some 1600 German cities were partially destroyed, while up to 80% of the major cities like Berlin, Dresden, Cologne and Hamburg were completely obliterated. Absolutely beautiful cities the likes of which we will never see again. And all of this death and destruction came because the German people gave in to their worst instincts after being fed lie after lie after lie. Now, as I said in the first episode, the current administration we have here in America, they're not Nazis. And it should be obvious after listening to the last couple of episodes, that the scale of these idiots doesn't even approach Nazi Germany. But it is also a mistake to underestimate these people. Remember that Heinrich Himmler, the greatest mass murderer in history, he was a small, mediocre, wholly inadequate man. His very appearance was so comical that Ed could roast him until the end of his days.

[Ben Kissel]

Soft boiled piece of shit.

[Marcus Parks]

And Himmler was above all, a coward to the core of his soul. But he was also a believer. He had, as one writer put it, a fanatical vision and energy. A drive that made him one of the masters of Europe in just 10 short years. And to that point, I do believe that our current administration, especially in this second term, is chock full of believers. And while they don't want us to say it, these believers are fascists. Even if they and the people who follow them don't even understand what the word actually means. I really don't think they do. Because in my Opinion, believing in the promise of America means that you are, by definition, anti fascist. Now, me, I'm just a podcast host.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Not to me.

[Marcus Parks]

When I asked Carolina what I could do in the face of all this, she told me to do as the people of Santa Poco did when faced with the threat of the infamous El Guapo in the Three Amigos, the people of Santa Poco could sow. And thus everyone who worked on this series did what we could do by our version of sowing, which is showing the evidence and ringing the alarm. But as far as what you can do, remember Joseph Hartinger, the attorney in Munich who fought against the first deaths in the concentration camps? The man who pushed back and never gave up? As I said, historians believe that if there were just 100 men like Joseph Hartinger in Germany standing up for what was right, the Nazis would have been stopped long before World War II. So what I ask of you right now is to stand up and like Joseph Hartinger, be one of the 100. If you believe that what's happening in our country right now is wrong, then please stand up, especially if you're respected in your community, and say that it is wrong. Say it to your family, Say it to your friends. Because the bad people are coming whether you want them to or not. And like the German people, you will suffer even if you don't stand beside them. And if you changed your stance on this government and their agenda, welcome back. But if you have a friend or family member who's changed, change their minds, too. Welcome them back if you can. And let's all go take care of these together, because it's gonna take numbers to do it. But I cannot stress enough that taking care of these motherfuckers does not mean using violence. During the rise of the Nazis, violence never did anything but give the Nazis more power every fucking time. Look at the examples we gave. Remember the Reichstag fire. Remember Kristallnacht. Violence only causes more pain, and it gives the fascists the excuse they've been waiting for to bring down the B.O. they're so casually hanging over the heads of every American. So again, I implore you, instead of being what they need you to be, be one of the 100 in your state, in your city, hell, in your fucking neighborhood, and stand up with whatever power you have against the things that you know in your heart are wrong. If enough of us do that day after day after day, then we just might have a chance, because we are fucking Americans. And I still truly believe that we are smart enough and good enough to succeed where others and past have failed. And all we have to do to make that happen is to stand the up when it's our turn to stand.

[Ben Kissel]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Dude, we did it. Yeah, you did it.

[Marcus Parks]

Good work.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Good work.

[Ben Kissel]

Good work, Marcus. This was beautiful.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Thank.

[Marcus Parks]

Thank you.

[Ben Kissel]

That was a very nice ending.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Feel strong. And if you want to see us kill 500 people at a time, come see side stories live. Just go to last podcast on the left.com and buy two tickets. What a series. What? I cannot believe we got to the end of it. You gotta be careful there. Keep your head in a swivel.

[Marcus Parks]

Yes.

[Ben Kissel]

And.

[Marcus Parks]

And also thanks again to Carolina do for her help and associate producing these last few episodes. Thanks to our incredible research team, Joel in particular, for making this happen. Joel really went above and beyond in the research on this one and gathering all this material and really putting himself through the ringer to make this happen.

[Ben Kissel]

He worked on this for months.

[Marcus Parks]

He did.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Oh, yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

Oh, and Jo would also like to us, like us to point out that if you're looking for help in your community during these hard times, you can find resources at mutual aid hub.org and he says that the book Mutual Aid by Dean Spade, available for free@ anarchistlibrary.org is a great resource for resisting fascism and keeping each other safe.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Let's go. Remember, you guys, because some of us, unfortunately are still satanic capitalists, just like me.

[Marcus Parks]

I am.

[Henry Zebrowski]

And I'm against it as well. So. So you can be both. You could be evil in your heart and actually against everything that's actually evil in meatspace. It's important. It's important to do. And it's important to hold the two together. And so thank you guys for listening. Next week we're going to do. Really excited to come back with the child emasculations of Brazil next week. I think you guys are going to really love that series. Don't worry. Worry. It's only 19 emasculations.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

And we're just gonna do that from the top. Each one's different, so each time we talk about the different type of emasculation, we'll find different ways to go about it comedically.

[Marcus Parks]

Next week we're taking the week off. Yes, we're gonna be releasing two of our update episodes that were at one point SiriusXM exclusives, but we're gonna be releasing them on the main feed for free because we, we and our staff need a break and also because these two fellas are going to be on the seas next Week, we're going to.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Be on a cruise. Okay.

[Ben Kissel]

Yeah. This is. That's the great way to get out of this.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

We're going to Crime Wave at Z. All right. It's not just what they. What they wanted to do. Bringing the Jews to the Madagascar. This is us on an actual Royal Caribbean cruise. We're going to be there. You. You can't even get tickets to it. It's already passed.

[Ben Kissel]

I think it's over. Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

We had a great time.

[Ben Kissel]

Yeah. But if. But if you want to, you can. This weekend in Orlando at Dead Men Tell Some Tales. And in two weeks, I'll be in San Diego at Mic Drop Comedy on a Sunday. That is November 16th. And if you want to see Last podcast on the Left Live, we're coming all over the place. Right after Thanksgiving, we're going to be in Akan, Ohio, and then Portland, Oregon, two nights in December. Philadelphia, Austin, Indianapolis, Cincinnati, Pittsburgh, Grand Rapids, Tulsa, and Oklahoma City all next year with our badass show that barely mentions Nazis.

[Marcus Parks]

There's a couple of mentions, but we did actually. Where was the Nazi section? We ended up cutting during this series we have.

[Henry Zebrowski]

We're doing plenty.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, yeah, we're doing plenty.

[Ben Kissel]

They're in the news enough. They know what they're doing.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Go and check out our brand new show, LPNRPG presents Bloodbath on LPN TV on YouTube. Go check it out. We are having a blast over there. People already loving it, which is good. Go check out our other content over on YouTube that on LPN TV. Some place underneath. LPN. Romantasy, the foreign report. No dogs in space. I think that's it, right?

[Marcus Parks]

Huh?

[Henry Zebrowski]

Hail Satan.

[Ben Kissel]

Oh, we lost Marcus.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, sorry.

[Ben Kissel]

It's good.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, I. Yeah, I finished. I disassociated completely.

[Ben Kissel]

How is. Have you used any of your eisenscreuppen day gifts yet?

[Marcus Parks]

You know what? I've actually been so busy. Not yet, but this weekend cracking that. I'm really hoping this weekend I can put that shovel into some dirt.

[Henry Zebrowski]

The chest of your enemy.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Thanks, everybody. See you in the next Reich.

[Ben Kissel]

Oh, hail Private First Class Murray Liff Schultz, my great uncle who liberated. He was a medic and he got the Silver Star and was nominated for the medal honor. Didn't get it, but he liberated the Flossenberg camp.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Was that the one he lost to Jared Leto?

[Ben Kissel]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

Hail him.

[Ben Kissel]

Hail Murray.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

And.

[Marcus Parks]

And hail, hail my Uncle Walter, who actually was in the the Bataan Death March and survived. Wow.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah.

[Ben Kissel]

Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

So, yeah, he was in the Pacific Theater. My grandfather joined when the bombs dropped. But he saw Sinatra in San Francisco and that was really cool. Oh, wow.

[Ben Kissel]

There you go.

[Marcus Parks]

That's by that was Papa. That was his favorite story.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Just beating the hell out of a hot dog vendor. Thanks, guys. Pacifico is a Mexican lager brood to be discovered. It's like fresh tracks on a powder day like that uncharted trail a stone's throw away like the perfect wave on a sunny day Pacifico find your own way. 21 plus drink responsibly. Imported by Crown Import, Chicago, Illinois. And Doug, here we have the Limu Emu in its natural habitat helping people customize their car insurance and save hundreds with Liberty Mutual. Fascinating. It's accompanied by his natural ally, Doug.

[Marcus Parks]

Limu is that guy with a the binoculars watching us.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Cut the camera. They see us. Only pay for what you need@liberty mutual.com Liberty Liberty.

[Marcus Parks]

Liberty.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Liberty Savings. Very underwritten by Liberty Mutual Insurance Company affiliates Excludes Massachusetts.