Episode 664: Robots from Space

Summary

Last Podcast On The Left

Episode 664: Robots From Space

May 15, 2026

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Episode Overview

The LPOTL team dives deep into one of the strangest and most overlooked corners of UFO lore: encounters with robotic aliens. Led by Henry Zebrowski, with Ben Kissel and Marcus Parks, the episode is a raucous exploration of classic and bizarre cases where people claim meetings not with organic greys or Nordics, but with metal-clad, malfunctioning “Rubits”—the Tin Men of high strangeness. The hosts debate why robots are such rare players in alien encounter reports, dissect classic abduction tales, and riff on the uniquely surreal imagery and psychology behind these stories.

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Key Discussion Points and Case Studies

1. Why Don’t We Hear More About Robot Aliens?

(06:57)

• Henry leads with a fundamental question: If alien species possess such advanced technology, wouldn’t robots or probes be the logical emissaries for visiting Earth?
  • Ben: “You’d think that if the aliens are coming to our… They’d send probes, they’d send, you know, advanced scouts, they’d send robots.” (07:14)
  • Marcus observes the taboo or ridicule factor, contributing to the rarity of these robotic encounter reports.

2. The Taxonomy of Alien Encounters

(04:00 – 05:30)

• Rapid rundown on the various “classic” alien species—greys, Nordics, Pleiadians, energy beings—with a comedic detour about aliens with “huge tits and great butts.”
  • Notable digression into David Huggins, famed for painting the voluptuous “hybrid” who seduced him (“That alien was stacked”—Ben, 05:02).

3. The Antonio Larubia Abduction, Brazil (1977)

(08:11 – 26:47)

• Account: Antonio, a bus driver, sees a bucket-hat-shaped UFO near Pacencia, Brazil. Becomes immobilized by a blue light, then surrounded by 4-ft-tall, metallic “football-headed” robots with antennae and reflective “eyeballs.”
• Events:
  • Hovering robots approach; immobilized Antonio is encased in a glass jar and floated into a UFO.
  • Robots display “needle hands,” extract blood from his finger, test it by drawing cryptic symbols on the wall, and then show him surreal “PowerPoint presentations” featuring psychedelic and humiliating imagery—including a video of himself vomiting and (allegedly) soiling himself.
    • Ben, on witness protestations: “He wanted it to be clear. Never once during this encounter did he ever shit himself. Everything else that happened, absolutely true.” (19:12)
  • He is bombarded by “blue lights,” is shown his own naked body on a table, and a succession of cryptic visions.
  • Left physically ill—sick for weeks with symptoms including a greenish skin tone and burning sensations.
• Hosts’ Commentary:
  • “These tales are about the highest of high strangeness. Truly outliers in a world of unique experience.” — Ben (06:16)
  • Marcus interprets the surreal slideshow as “very Jodorowsky” (23:55).
  • Running joke: Antonio repeatedly insists he did not soil himself, despite the aliens’ video evidence.
  • The Brazilian context is explored—Marcus: “The other story where a man had sex with an alien multiple, multiple times also came from Brazil… I think they’re hornier.” (09:49)

4. The Voronezh Incident, USSR (1989)

(27:30 – 37:35)

• Case: In Voronezh, Russia, a group of children witness a glowing red UFO. Three metallic humanoids—bronzed “Discmen” in silver overalls and gold boots—descend with a humanoid “robot” companion.
• WTF Details:
  • The robots’ activation terrifies the children.
  • A glowing triangle floats between the beings; a two-foot tube is used to “zap” one of the kids, who vanishes and then reappears later.
  • “Discmen” claim to come from the constellation Libra:
    “The constellation Libra. Red star. Our homeland.” (34:03)
  • The robots’ behavior echoes both classic sci-fi and cold-war paranoia.
  • “They left behind a palpable unease… The cries of these Iron Curtain youngsters finally cut through the din of criticism.” (35:50)
• Hosts’ Riffs:
  • Marcus and Henry joke about Russian orphan tropes, “railroad track urchins,” and the bleakness of Soviet life.
  • Jokes about “Bentlemen”—their term for living statues/human robots (31:09).
  • “Would you become a fellow traveler if you’re abducted in Soviet Russia?” (28:12)

5. The Donald Shrum Encounter, California (1964)

(43:11 – 62:00)

• Case: Don, a welder and painter, gets lost while bowhunting in the Tahoe National Forest and is stalked by a cigar-shaped UFO.
• Events:
  • Don climbs a tree to hide. Robots and short silver-suited aliens land and begin searching the area, communicating with cooing and “hooting” sounds.
  • Menaced by humanoid robots with “hinged” jaws, who repeatedly knock him out with gas clouds.
  • Don fights back with arrows (which appear to injure a robot), lights fires that seem to repel the beings, and even throws his spare change at them, which they treasure.
  • The “battle” lasts all night; Don survives by tying himself to the tree with his belt.
  • Aftermath: He suffers trauma, chronic fear of the dark, and a long convalescence. The alleged encounter is later dismissed by investigators with absurd “metal Japanese teenagers” explanations.
• Hosts’ Commentary:
  • On the robot’s gas attack: “My hover stick. Stay up all night.” (53:39)
  • Henry laughs about childhood games of “the knockout game” and the need for a spotter.
  • Marcus pokes fun at Don’s possible “inflammable belt” and his creative survival tactics.
  • Running jokes about Don’s “pornographic disco groove” and his profound hatred for his wife (59:33–60:23).

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “In what world would robots breathe?”
  — Henry Zebrowski, channeling witness Antonio, (17:56)

• On the specimen robots:
  “Imagine an actual living statue, but with joints and rivets. Yeah, man. Human statues.”
  — Ben Kissel (30:29)

• On the artistry of alien encounters:
  “These are actually sort of beautiful… I really love the sequence. I want to do this. Someone should film this.”
  — Marcus Parks (21:34)

• On perils of context:
  “Our researchers…they gave me so much context for a bunch of these different stories. And I’ll tell you what, I stripped it. I took all the context out.”
  — Ben Kissel (27:09)

• Investigators’ conclusion:
  “At the end of their investigation, it’s more likely that Don was attacked by a group of ‘rowdy, prank-loving metal Japanese teenagers.’”
  — Ben Kissel (63:06)

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Additional Insights & Themes

Why Robots?

• The panel wonders why robot aliens—uniquely plausible as vanguard probes—aren’t a more dominant theme in abduction lore.
• The hosts riff that “stranger” encounters are likely suppressed due to fear of ridicule or because “beep boop” robots feel too cartoonish—yet these tales might hide real anomalous experiences.

High Strangeness and Cultural Lenses

• Each major encounter has a cultural “flavor”—from Brazil’s sensual strangeness, to Soviet utilitarianism, to American rugged survival. The hosts suggest witnesses’ expectations and national mythologies color what aliens “should” look like.

Physical Effects and Trauma

• The physical after-effects on the abductees—fevers, skin rashes, trauma, and long-term psychological consequences—are consistent with classic high-strangeness cases.

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• [06:57] – Why are robot encounters so rare in UFO lore?
• [08:11–26:47] – The Antonio Larubia case (robot aliens in Brazil)
• [27:30–37:35] – The Voronezh, USSR robot encounter
• [43:11–62:00] – The all-night “alien battle” of Donald Shrum (California)
• [17:56] – “In what world would robots breathe?” (Quote)
• [53:39] – “My hover stick. Stay up all night.” (Quote)
• [21:34] – “These are actually sort of beautiful…” (Quote, slideshow commentary)

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Tone and Style

• Chaotic, irreverent, and comedic.
• Blends serious research with profane humor and absurdist riffs.
• Mixes genuine curiosity (“Why aren’t there more robot aliens?”) with skepticism and satire.
• Frequent bickering among hosts, pop culture references (from The Jetsons to Jodorowsky and Predator), and tangential rants.

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Summary

A standout LPOTL episode for long-time fans and newcomers alike, “Robots From Space” takes listeners on a wild ride from Brazilian beach roads to Soviet playgrounds to American treetops, where “high strangeness” is the norm and UFO lore gets even weirder. Layered with jokes about bowel movements, metal teenagers, discount magazines, and silver overalls, the episode delivers both an informative look at forgotten corners of ufology and a reminder that the “truth” is always stranger—and more hilarious—than fiction.

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For more podcast summaries, check out our archive!

Transcript

[Ben Kissel]

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[Marcus Parks]

There's no place to escape to.

[Ben Kissel]

This is the last on the left. That's when the cannibalism started. What was that? I'm excited for today. Why? Because we get to cover something serious. It's been so long since we have.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Are we finally covering cancer?

[Ben Kissel]

Yes.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I mean, talk about numbers.

[Ben Kissel]

Honestly, talk about heavy hitter.

[Marcus Parks]

Real heavy hitter.

[Ben Kissel]

Yeah. Cancer numbers. In many ways, I think cancer should be the fourth head on the Mount Rushmore of evil.

[Marcus Parks]

Wow. Just all cancers.

[Ben Kissel]

Just cancer.

[Marcus Parks]

Every cancer. Okay. All right. Just cancer in general.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Sure.

[Ben Kissel]

Unbridled tumors.

[Henry Zebrowski]

The heads keep regenerating and regenerating and regenerating.

[Ben Kissel]

You have to go back every six months and check. Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

All right, fine. I'll do it.

[Ben Kissel]

Wow.

[Marcus Parks]

I'll learn everything there is to know about cancer, you know?

[Ben Kissel]

And then you'll be a doctor.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. I always wanted to be a doctor. This is how I can do it.

[Ben Kissel]

One of my bucket list like items was to be an oncologist. Really? Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

That's your butt.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Wait.

[Ben Kissel]

Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

My bucket list.

[Ben Kissel]

Yeah. See, I gotta see the pyramids. Become an oncologist, I have to learn to bake bread, see the pyramids a second time, and then I am allowed to commit suicide.

[Marcus Parks]

Really?

[Ben Kissel]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

It's interesting. I always mine storm a cockpit. Wow.

[Ben Kissel]

And maybe we can do that this week when we're on our way out of town. This episode today is truly special. It's led by me.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, it is.

[Ben Kissel]

It is. Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

Welcome to last podcast on the left, ladies and gentlemen. By the way, my name is Marcus Parks.

[Ben Kissel]

Thank you, Marcus.

[Marcus Parks]

Here with our. Our leader for the day, Henry Zabrowski. You man who's been.

[Ben Kissel]

I don't know.

[Marcus Parks]

You've Been into engineering lately. You've been into knowing, like, how things work. The. The nuts and bolts.

[Ben Kissel]

You know, me, as it were. I'm a cross and T's. Dot nyes detail oriented.

[Marcus Parks]

Yes, you are.

[Ben Kissel]

Yes. Certainly not broad strokes, big time ideas guy. I'm very much in the weeds getting granular. And that's what we're doing today. And speaking of granular, Ed Larson's covered in crumbs.

[Henry Zebrowski]

How you doing? I wish I actually. My breakfast was yogurt, so if I'm covered in crumbs, I don't know how that happened.

[Ben Kissel]

It just came out of your beard. That's dangerous Today starts with, this is something special because one of my favorite aspects of the Capital P phenomena is the diversity. Yeah. Of its populace. And it is true because much like Kew Gardens, the universe is filled with an unlimited amount of species willing to sell you duck embryos as an hors d'.

[Marcus Parks]

Oeuvre.

[Ben Kissel]

You love it. It's quite good because when you go

[Henry Zebrowski]

to Contact in the desert, it's like

[Ben Kissel]

99% white, except for the white guys that dress like black guys and the white guys that dress like Indian guys.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yes, you're right. You're right.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Ben Kissel]

So the common types of alien we encounter are Normally in C, E, 3s and CE4s or so most of our audience.

[Marcus Parks]

Close Encounters. You mean that's the CE3 and CE4.

[Henry Zebrowski]

It's my. Thank you, Mark.

[Ben Kissel]

This is my fucking episode. This is my fucking episode. And it's not an organized true crime one.

[Marcus Parks]

Not even everyone in the room knew what you were talking about.

[Ben Kissel]

Well, we'll see.

[Marcus Parks]

Right here.

[Ben Kissel]

Right, right. Because I feel like most of our audience can name off the top of their. The large sampling of aliens we normally meet in encounters. Right.

[Henry Zebrowski]

3 PO.

[Ben Kissel]

We're getting to it. You're getting ahead of the goddamn story. Okay, so we got the grays. Tall grays, tall whites, Nordics, the Draconians, Pleiadians, Bigfoots, floating orbs, energy beings. There's tiny blue guys, completely clear guys. And aliens with huge tits and. And huge great butts that we have covered them all. We know that that ex. Because of the guy that painted all the paintings of the gray alien that he lost his virginity to, who had huge.

[Marcus Parks]

David Huggins.

[Ben Kissel]

David Huggins. That alien was stacked.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Hold on. So a guy who drew the big titted aliens. Last name was Huggins.

[Marcus Parks]

His name was Huggins. Actually, I have one of his paintings in my office.

[Ben Kissel]

Oh, I have.

[Marcus Parks]

It's a print, but it's Beautiful.

[Ben Kissel]

It's better than being fuckins. Hey, name's David.

[Marcus Parks]

Fantastic documentary called Love and Saucers about David Huggins.

[Ben Kissel]

It's really good.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, and a great soundtrack too.

[Ben Kissel]

Okay, but now we cover today what I really consider to be the red headed stepchild of all of the aliens in the whole goddamn world.

[Marcus Parks]

And this is surprising to me. I had never thought about this before.

[Ben Kissel]

It's true. Encounters with the robot.

[Marcus Parks]

The robot.

[Henry Zebrowski]

The robots, yes.

[Ben Kissel]

So the only way to properly pronounce robots in today's episode is to call them robots.

[Marcus Parks]

These are very much. Robots.

[Ben Kissel]

Yes. Robots. To me it's different than a robot. Right. A robot is something you see around and it's very like, like I, it like very much from the Jetsons style. The maid, that's a robot, okay. But a Reuben, which is what we're seeing here today, that's more like the food delivery guys but with shooting white clouds of gas that will knock you out. I mean that.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I would get more behind it if it did that.

[Ben Kissel]

Wouldn't that be cool? Yeah, but see, robots are. People are. Don't ever really talk about these experiences because I think it's because. Due to fear of ridicule. But I posit there are seeds of truth in every encounter with a 1950s style beep boop metal robot alien. Yes. Every encounter that we will cover today will involve a loss in space. Aluminum tube armed whirly gig capped automaton who speaks in letters and gestures. That's what we're covering. The Tin man is here and he's taking your blood. These tales are about the highest of high strangeness. Truly outliers in a world of unique experience.

[Marcus Parks]

It really surprised me when you brought up the alien and robot idea. I never thought that there should be far more robots in alien lore than there is. You'd think that if the aliens are coming to our. They'd send probes, they'd send, you know, advanced scouts, they'd send robots.

[Henry Zebrowski]

These alien truth liars really fucked up.

[Ben Kissel]

You're correct. You're correct. Now robots, I also feel like because they are so strange, it's also, it's very regional and it really comes down to the psychic part of the event as far as I'm concerned. Now before we begin, I'd like to thank Joel and Rachel for helping me put together this extremely important and relevant topic.

[Marcus Parks]

Relevant to what?

[Ben Kissel]

Robots. There are several sources here that I will list on the Internet because most of them are magazines. They are magazines. They're thick magazines.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. And I've been Getting back into magazines lately. You know, it's my dream to one day publish a magazine. Oh, really?

[Ben Kissel]

What do you want to call? What? What do you call.

[Marcus Parks]

I mean, the. The working title right now is funt. But that's just. That's just a working funt magazine.

[Ben Kissel]

I love Funt.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Fonts and guns.

[Ben Kissel]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, have you had your. Filled with funk? I love Fun Ammo.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, Fun to ammo is fun.

[Ben Kissel]

Well, here we go. Our first tale of robot terror is the abduction of Antonio larubia. Sometime between 2:12 and 2:20am exactly on September 15, 1977. Antonio was driving home from his job as a bus driver on the outskirts of the tranquil beach city of Pacencia, Brazil, when he saw an unusual object in the field. Antonio would estimate the craft to be over 230ft long. It was a dull gray, shaped like a bucket hat.

[Marcus Parks]

Like an old timey bucket hat.

[Ben Kissel]

I think they've always been the same shape.

[Henry Zebrowski]

No, Antonio Larubia, he's the radio personality that got caught taking upskirt photos.

[Ben Kissel]

Was that his second life? I don't know what he did after this abduction. This object was so alien to Antonio, scared him half to death. After pulling over to see if he indeed was seeing what he was seeing, he felt intense fear. He bolted away from the object in the field, but suddenly found himself immobilized by a bright blue light. Mysteriously, what is described as an electric pole appeared before him.

[Marcus Parks]

He called it an electric pole.

[Ben Kissel]

All of this is being translated loosely from Portuguese. Okay, so when he says certain things, you're like, okay, so when it says that, when Antonio says a mysterious electric pole appeared in front of him, that's all I can really comment upon. Gotcha. Okay, so Antonio was the alien a stripper? We'll get there, you'll see. Listen to the entire encounter. It might get a little sexy. Or not. Antonio was unable to move or speak.

[Marcus Parks]

You know, the Brazilians do get sexier with. Because the other story that we talked about, in which a man had sex with an alien multiple, multiple times, also came from Brazil.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Really?

[Ben Kissel]

I think they're hornier.

[Henry Zebrowski]

They also went to, like, straight up war with the aliens too, right?

[Ben Kissel]

Yes, there was attacks. That was what Jacques Vallee famously covered all of his. Like, he covered all. They're very aggressive in Brazil. High murder rate. Here is. We gotta be careful over the Rubits. Soon realized as he was immobilized, that he was surrounded by three or four, or for lack of a better term, Rubens. They were around 4ft tall with nearly featureless metal, football shaped heads that spinning antennae sprouting from its tip. For eyeballs, they had a reflective strip, no necks. Body shaped like an oval plated with dull aluminum scales with two arms that came to points for your viewing pleasure. This is Antonio's witness depiction. Please boys, describe it.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I feel like I could draw it better even though I've never seen it.

[Ben Kissel]

Antonio was very scared.

[Marcus Parks]

I would say that the bottom structure looks like. Like a barber chair. The pole that a barber chair is on and the top of it is kind of in the shape of Magneto's helmet, you know?

[Ben Kissel]

Yeah, yeah. And he's way better. Yeah. This is a better render. This is a rendering. Someone did a 3D rendering of it,

[Henry Zebrowski]

but it looks like someone just like took the top half of a corpse of an alien and put it on a stick.

[Ben Kissel]

Who knows?

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, because there's like a little almond head, almond shaped head on the top with. And it actually has an old school antenna.

[Ben Kissel]

That's what I like about it. As an antenna.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I guess it would make sense. Why would the aliens come here themselves when they can just send droids?

[Ben Kissel]

Yeah, of course. Or are they already biomechanical machines that appear organic?

[Henry Zebrowski]

So you think that the. The aliens are our robots?

[Ben Kissel]

We'll find out next thing we know.

[Marcus Parks]

And yes, Rob, you are right. It does kind of look like Tom Servo.

[Ben Kissel]

It does look like. Correct. But this is before Tom Servo. Yeah. This podcast is brought to you by Squarespace. Squarespace is an all in one website platform that helps you stand out online. Yes, that's right. You don't have to smash your face with a hammer. You can just start a business. It's got everything you need on Squarespace, from securing your domain to building a profess site and showcasing your work all in one place. Let's say you want to show everybody how you can carve your ribs out of your lower abdomen so that you look more like a Ken doll. That's amazing. You can bring your vision to life with AI powered design or curated templates. Plus flexible editing tools that helped you create something that truly reflects your style. Especially if you are somebody that is trying to corrupt the young men of America. That's what Squarespace is really going to help you. Squarespace makes it easy. It makes it easy for you to put all that together and you just go to Squarespace and do it all. Thanks, Braden. Head to squarespace.com left for a free trial and when you're ready to launch, use offer code left to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. This is a paid ad by BetterHelp. If you've been feeling overwhelmed, stuck, anxious or unsure, that's okay. Those feelings are more common than we think. Whatever you're going through, you don't have to go through it alone. Having someone with you to listen and understand can make all the difference. Whatever is keeping you up at night, therapy with BetterHelp can provide you with tools to help you check in with yourself and gain support from experienced professionals. BetterHelp is the world's largest online therapy platform. Just take a short questionnaire to identify your needs and Preferences and BetterHelp will handle the initial therapist matching work for you. You can also feel confident knowing betterhelp therapists work according to a strict code of conduct and are fully qualified. You don't have to be on this journey alone. Find support and have someone with you in therapy. Sign up and get 10 [e-mail] LastPod that's betterhelp.com LastPod Are you tired of spending hundreds on crazy high wireless bills, bogus fees and free perks that cost you more in the long run? Hell yeah you are than a premium wireless plan from mint mobile for 15 bucks a month it might be right for you. Bring your own phone and number, activate with EIM in minutes and start saving immediately. No long term contracts, no hassle. It's amazing how much money you spend. You wouldn't believe I have four belts now. Yep, I'm rich in belts thanks to Mint Mobile giving me all that belt money because why not, you know. Got to spend it somewhere. If you like your money. Mint Mobile is for you. Shop [e-mail] lpotl that's mintmobile.com lpotl upfront payment of $45 for 3 month 5 gigabyte plan required equivalent to $15 per month new customer offer for 3 months only. Then full price plan options available, taxes and fees extra. See Mint Mobile for details. So Antonio was encased all of a sudden in a giant glass jar. As he floated helplessly as a gherkin, the three robots smoothly floated towards his prone body. Antonio noticed their so called legs a skinny pole with a foot on the end and deduce they must be hover sticks because not a single robot pogo'd absolutely but he found I think that's what he thought that they would bounce but when they just slid towards him it frightened him.

[Marcus Parks]

And hover sticks. That sounds like a great like that sounds like a drug slang.

[Ben Kissel]

That's what I Want? Yeah, yeah. That's what I had last night. You already smoke a hover stick? Dude, That's a good future drug. And it just makes you float like six inches for like 20 minutes. I'm supposed to go to the, my, my spin class. So one of the robots extended an appendage towards Antonio. He saw that instead of a hand at the end of the tapered arm, there was a syringe like needle. The robot crept closer with his needle hands when the scene suddenly changed and Antonio found himself and his robot junky companions inside the ufo.

[Marcus Parks]

Because the needles. He was in a glass jar in the middle of a field and now he's in a ufo?

[Ben Kissel]

Yeah, he's in a ufo. There's a lot of this in this

[Marcus Parks]

episode, outside of the glass jar. He's no longer in the glass jar?

[Ben Kissel]

No, now he's been transported. You sure?

[Henry Zebrowski]

Is this an Antonio Bourdain?

[Ben Kissel]

It would be much sadder. And one of those rivets would be Asia Argento looking to steal his life force.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I saw someone say how there was a meme about him and it's like, oh, he had life figured out. I'm like, he committed suicide.

[Ben Kissel]

Well, he did.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, that's right.

[Ben Kissel]

He chose his way out.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Ben Kissel]

Just like our hero, Jeffrey Epstein. So he could feel. Yes, thank you. So he could feel the craft lift off and he suddenly got nauseated. The walls were translucent too and provided a view of their ascent into the clouds. That's when Antonio was bombarded by blue lights and he found himself in the UFO's business center. Antonio came into a large circular room, only to see that he was surrounded again. Two dozen robot aliens lined the walls of the chamber. Standing in stark toaster like silence. He regained the ability to speak and shouted at the alien robots.

[Marcus Parks]

Ok, Voce.

[Ben Kissel]

Coyer que moy voce. What do you want?

[Marcus Parks]

I don't know how to speak Portuguese.

[Henry Zebrowski]

That is close.

[Ben Kissel]

I think. I think it's close. What do you want? Who are you? And the power of his Portuguese offense was too much for them. Just the strength of his yelling knocked the two dozen alien robots to the ground. Now this must have pissed him off or something because Antonio was in zap with the disorienting wall lights again. The robot aliens rose from the floor of the craft and began to breathe loudly. This scared Antonio because in his own words, in what world where robots breathe?

[Henry Zebrowski]

In what world would robots breathe?

[Ben Kissel]

Thank you. I'm so glad you're good at this. So glad you were doing this. Correct. In a blink of an eye.

[Marcus Parks]

I just kind of. It's just sort of my father in law.

[Ben Kissel]

In a blink of an eye, the alien robots pointed their needle hands at their head spinnies and made them hard. Huh? They were spinning and then they got hard. Okay, right then they stopped spinning and became spoon, like Antonio specifically said. Like a teaspoon. Maybe in hindsight this is some form of truce offered from the robot aliens. Because that's when they decided to show him some dirty movies.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Oh, needles and spoons go together.

[Ben Kissel]

Leonard Skynyrd. Yep. The lead singer from Alice in Chains. A box materialized in front of Antonio. Six inches wide, standing on two poles, about five feet high. So exact it had antennae sticking out of it and piano keys on its side like a transistor accordion. The alien rovens glided over and began to futz with syringes and belts sticking out of the side of the stupid television. Then images began to appear.

[Marcus Parks]

Humans love pornography.

[Ben Kissel]

Show him the pornography. We will calm him down. Show him the pornography.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Let me put my hover stick inside of you.

[Ben Kissel]

You like it too much. So Antonio first saw a video of himself vomiting and shitting himself. Now, according to ufologist Iran Grunchy, who interviewed Antonio to capture this encounter for all time, Antonio insisted that no matter what it was shown on the video, he never once shot himself. He wanted it to be clear. Never once during this encounter did he ever shit himself. Everything else that happened, absolutely true.

[Marcus Parks]

But it is true that he saw a video of himself shitting and vomiting and shitting himself.

[Ben Kissel]

Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

How did he know that he was was there a close up on like his the pant seat and it suddenly turned brown and wet.

[Ben Kissel]

All it's saying is the alien showed him a video of him vomiting and shitting himself. So okay, I already started to camera goes 360 as his pants fill with.

[Henry Zebrowski]

That's how I'd imagine it was very shaggy. It wasn't me.

[Ben Kissel]

Yeah, I would not do that. There is no way would I ever again. I want to remove my pants and your on the floor.

[Marcus Parks]

Or maybe on the video. Maybe he said like oh no, I

[Ben Kissel]

am in my pants. Oh no. Everybody get away from me. I am shitting my pants. You see that you are shitting your pants in the video? I did not and I will not do in my banks. So the room shot three metric tons.

[Marcus Parks]

You shot more than any other human we have abducted.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Always deny everything.

[Ben Kissel]

Always that I the robot aliens use a device then to forcefully raise Antonio's arm. This is when they use their needle

[Henry Zebrowski]

tips to suck blood on the very

[Ben Kissel]

top of his middle finger. Alien robot doctor did a test on his blood by spraying it on the walls. Using his needle hands filled with blood, he drew three red circles on the wall of the craft and then traced Ls inside. So they look like pie charts. It seemed to be good news.

[Marcus Parks]

Ah, you got three Ls, three Ls.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Put like a needle. Thumbs up.

[Ben Kissel]

Antonio was presented with the screen again. This is when Alejandro Jodorowsky movie starring Antonio, made by the alien robots played on the projector. So here' a series of images that were kind of like a moving film slideshow.

[Marcus Parks]

These are actually sort of beautiful.

[Ben Kissel]

It's interesting.

[Marcus Parks]

I really love the sequence.

[Ben Kissel]

I want to do this. This. Someone should film this. Yeah. First was an image.

[Henry Zebrowski]

You trying to make an alien movie?

[Ben Kissel]

Let's not talk about that. It's coming.

[Henry Zebrowski]

It's coming.

[Ben Kissel]

We're working on it. First was an image of Antonio nude on a table. Two robot aliens were shining lights on his genitals. Second, Antonio nude, just standing there. Third scene. Now, Antonio was clothed, carrying an empty shopping bag. His teeth chattered loudly. Very strange. I find it feel like him walking with bag. And then cut. Too close up of his face going like that.

[Marcus Parks]

And then the background you hear like.

[Ben Kissel]

Fourth scene. Horse and buggy slowly ambling down a dirt road. A dirty barefooted penniescent in the driver's head receipt. Fifth cut. It's an orange ball. Antonio stands next to it. Symbolism of what? Symbolism. Six inches. Six image. Now the bowl's blue. An alien robot stands next to it.

[Marcus Parks]

What does it mean?

[Ben Kissel]

7th image. A rabbit dog barks at one of the alien robots. In reaction, the robot alien melts from top to bottom like porridge. That's trippy as fucking awesome. I want to see this.

[Marcus Parks]

This is all very 1977.

[Ben Kissel]

Oh, yes it is, buddy.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Ready for Altered States?

[Marcus Parks]

No, I've actually bought a huge stack of old underground 70s comics back in Cincinnati. They're all like this. Every time there's a sci fi story, it's just. It's this.

[Ben Kissel]

Wow. It's fucking trippy. It's psychedelic.

[Marcus Parks]

It's cool.

[Henry Zebrowski]

You don't have to explain everything.

[Ben Kissel]

No, leave it hanging. 8th image. A high def landscape shot of an alien world. In the center of the picture, a giant UFO manufacturing plant, staffed and populated by millions of the alien robots. He saw three rows of UFOs in various stages of construction. Portuguese blood. Ninth image. A Japanese manufactured train, popular in Brazil, plowing its way through a tunnel. Everything reminds me of her. 10th image. Cut to an image of live traffic and Rio de Janeiro for some reason. And then the scenario came to an abrupt halt.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, that's very Jodorowsky.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah, traffic sucks.

[Ben Kissel]

Exactly. Antonio felt a sensation of being thrown overboard. Antonio tripped out of the Tron world and landed directly in the middle of the street around the corner from the Pacencio train station. He was accompanied by one last alien robot. Antonio realized his clothing had reappeared on his body and he checked his watch. 2:20am the exact time he was abducted.

[Marcus Parks]

Wait, so he had been naked in the.

[Ben Kissel]

In the field the whole time? It seemed. Ah, it seemed. Yes.

[Henry Zebrowski]

All right. And so basically, he just had a little dream?

[Ben Kissel]

No. Bewildered, Antonio looked towards the heavens. There he saw the large, dark, smooth bottom of the UFO float up, up, up, up until it was gone. The vision of the craft rising was shared by a local town drunk who told many other drifters about it in vain attempts for free rot gut whiskey.

[Marcus Parks]

So they did have the actual scene where like the drunk guy looks up,

[Ben Kissel]

goes everything, throws away the ball.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I'm done. I'm getting too old.

[Ben Kissel]

Antonio did not tell his wife about the abduction. I wonder if my daughter's still n. She's dead. And he definitely didn't tell her about the PowerPoint movie presentation of him and bodying something. He did not. I did not myself. For two days, Antonio said his bowels were loose and miserable. Still himself. No, he insist. He continued to insist he would never himself. Not on the ufo, not afterwards. He wanted that to be clear.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, they were losing miserable, but they were under control.

[Ben Kissel]

But I still had told. Told within the week. Antonio needed to quit his job due to the increasing extremity of his illness. He walked into work to quit. When he told his boss he had difficulty breathing and a burning and itching on the inside of his body. Eventually, a nurse at the job site checked his temperature. He was running 103 degree fever. To make him feel better, Antonio's boss had a fellow employee hit him with the hose outside. This young man described Antonio going Pa. Claiming his skin was green as grass. Huh? But it said, you have just been like, why don't you go cool him off the hose. Antonio was just the beginning. This was just at the beginning of a month long debilitating illness due to his encounter with the alien robot doctor filmmaker people who kidnapped him that day. Modern medicine failed this man.

[Marcus Parks]

That does every alien abductee.

[Ben Kissel]

It does. Antonio did go to the doctor and he did get tested. And they had the gall to tell him he was physiological and psychologically normal. This is why self advocacy in healthcare is so important.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, absolutely.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Especially if you're a woman.

[Ben Kissel]

Yes. Presumably Antonio is now somewhere in good health. He would be around 80 years old and I'm sure his bowels are in tip top shape now. Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

Every 80 year old man we know, you know, has full and total control over his bowels.

[Ben Kissel]

And they are in love with them. Depends. Cute. Cute. That's good.

[Marcus Parks]

I like that.

[Ben Kissel]

I just also want, you know, guys, that our researchers, wonderful researchers, they gave me so much context for a bunch of these different stories. And I'll tell you what, I stripped it. You took it all out. Wow. Yeah, I took all the context out. Wow. It was. I'm not gonna get into the context of the next story because it would add 25 minutes to the show.

[Marcus Parks]

Sure.

[Henry Zebrowski]

But how did it start?

[Ben Kissel]

We'll see our next tale of encounters with Kling. Clang, beep, boop. Beings from outer Space takes us through the Iron Curtain to the USSR and the riskies of old. Oh, now that's.

[Marcus Parks]

That's context gold mine right there.

[Henry Zebrowski]

That's a huge.

[Marcus Parks]

That's a lot of context.

[Ben Kissel]

It's too much context. Because basically the idea is, is that, you know, sum up. It went through a period of time because communism was considered an atheist belief system. As the wall was going to come down and systems were collapsing, they were getting more interested in the paranormal. And then Russia became like a hot spot for paranormal activity. And a lot of that was fueled by the space, the psychic arms that we were doing with Russia. Sure. All right.

[Henry Zebrowski]

If you get kidnapped by a robot alien in communist Russia, are you a fellow traveler?

[Ben Kissel]

Interesting. We'll find out. Actually, I don't understand that. Fellow traveler.

[Henry Zebrowski]

That's a communist term. People who are like, down with it, comrade. There's a whole movie about.

[Ben Kissel]

What movie?

[Henry Zebrowski]

Fellow Traveler.

[Ben Kissel]

Oh, wow.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, Ed's right here.

[Ben Kissel]

Oh, sure. Good, good. Well, I'm sure you guys were already guessing what I was going to talk. The famous Voronas incident of September 27, 1989. Yeah, everyone knows this one. On this day in ufological history, a pack of children had a close encounter of the third kind with the craft and its inhabitants. Mechanical entities in the form of bronzed human statues. Ten children played outside at the railroad tracks in the zone by a local school when a pink glow overtook the gray Russian sky.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Too bad that wasn't the Hammer Maniacs.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Ben Kissel]

Oh, man, that would have been fun to see them deal with the aliens.

[Henry Zebrowski]

And that'd be hell.

[Ben Kissel]

That's a Good movie. That's a really good movie. Save that. A deep red ball about 10ft around descended from the clouds. It circled the group, then vanished. The one girl allowed in the child gang, Yulia Shalakova, recounted. The ball reappeared just as suddenly as it left and hovered above the tree line like it was waiting for them. The tired, broken Russian orphans grouped underneath the vessel. And they could do it in the finest Russian orphan style. Could you?

[Guest or Additional Speaker]

They could clearly see a hedge opening

[Ben Kissel]

in the lower part of the ball

[Marcus Parks]

and the humanoid in the opening. Actually, that's more like the guy who feeds the orphans and controls the orphan.

[Ben Kissel]

They could clearly see the hedge opening in the lower part of the ball. In the humanoid in the open. That's a little better. To the children's horror, entities descended from the craft. Three eyed, human like beings. They stood nine to ten feet tall and were dressed in a workman's uniform. But the overalls were metallic silver and the boots shiny gold. A bronze disc was fashioned to their chest. Chests. They were accompanying a humanoid robot that must have been built to resemble its organic handlers. Imagine an actual living statue, but with joints and rivets. Yeah, man. Human statues. I did not realize that living statues. Like I was like looking that up. Like street performer that acts like a statue. It's just human statue.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, yeah.

[Ben Kissel]

I thought it would have like an another like name. No, they don't talk.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, human statue.

[Ben Kissel]

Yeah, but just human statue.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. What do you, what would you think they would be called?

[Ben Kissel]

Like something like, like Bearnals. That's as good as any name that could be for them. Yeah, standard there, guys. Bentles done.

[Marcus Parks]

Bentlemen. That, that from now on, that's human statues. Bentleman.

[Ben Kissel]

Bentleman. I'm gonna put it right on here.

[Henry Zebrowski]

You know, the, the human statue thing doesn't really make sense because why they like do metallic skin.

[Ben Kissel]

Yes.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Like they're robots.

[Ben Kissel]

Well, bronze statues with their bronze statues.

[Henry Zebrowski]

But that's silver ones.

[Ben Kissel]

That would be a silver statue rock.

[Henry Zebrowski]

That's right.

[Ben Kissel]

It'll be marble. They're not silver. They're. They're painted like marble.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Paint yourself like marble then.

[Ben Kissel]

We're killing the audience. We're killing the audience. All right. The robotic disc man had no nose and in its place were two holes. Its metal eyes swiveled back and forth instead of moving its neck to look at you. His skin was made of bronze material. His silver overalls and gold boots were just his torso and feet.

[Marcus Parks]

Cool.

[Ben Kissel]

All of the crew from the craft glowed in the dark. The robots Handlers turned towards each other and began to gesticulate. Soon a shining triangle materialized in the air between them. The two Disc men touched their robot friend and he activated. Now it doesn't say what happened when he activated, but it terrified the children. So I imagine it's like a truly horrific.

[Marcus Parks]

I imagine it's when they turn on ED 209 in RoboCop and goes

[Ben Kissel]

oh yeah. Terrify the children. Panic stricken, they attempted to flee. The rubit's middle eye stopped and fixed itself on the center of the group. They froze in place, instantly trapped in silence. Another actual like similar detail. Discman1 produced a two foot long tube from behind his body. It might have been inside his overall. He brandished this poster tube contraption towards one of the railroad track urchins. Then magically, the targeted yeg vanished into thin air. The robot and his Discman bodyguards pas abruptly shuffled back into the red ball, now parked on the two legged kickstand mode. The dark red spheroid ship then lifted off the ground and shot into the sky. Thankfully the disappeared bolt boy rejoined the group immediately after. We know nothing about him or anything that happened to him. He just disappeared and left and came back. And no one asked him. No one thought to ask him a single question. All right, so we have no idea what his experience was like.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I imagine that's happens to lots of Russian railroad boys.

[Ben Kissel]

I think that's why they've learned to keep their mouths shut and they like, you know, some kind of gap. Right. According to local party newspaper though. Though a journalist happened to be on the scene of the visitation.

[Marcus Parks]

So he saw the whole thing.

[Ben Kissel]

That's what he said. All right, this is where it came from. He managed to get several pull quotes from the beings. This intrepid reporter asked where were they from? They responded in perfect Russian.

[Marcus Parks]

The constellation Libra, Red star. Our homeland.

[Ben Kissel]

Presumably in Russian. See because they are from Libra, they embrace diplomacy and balance, but they tend to avoid conflict. Looking at you famed Libra, Bruno Mars.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I'm a Libra.

[Ben Kissel]

The journalist followed up with.

[Marcus Parks]

So are you saying Bruno Mars is difficult?

[Ben Kissel]

He's a gambler. He's got a bit of a gambling problem. Well, he doesn't want to. He's got problem facing conflict.

[Marcus Parks]

Why?

[Ben Kissel]

Because he favors diplomacy imbalance.

[Marcus Parks]

Okay.

[Ben Kissel]

He's a Libra's crutch, the journalist. I then guess he followed up with will you take me back to your home planet? Because I guess he would have chosen intergalactic slavery over living in vorozn. Yeah, yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

1989. Everyone's trying to get out of USSR.

[Ben Kissel]

Get out. Discman 1 and 2 denied his desperate request. They replied to the reporter in the reporter's native tongue, There would be no

[Marcus Parks]

return for you and it would be dangerous for us.

[Ben Kissel]

You might bring thought bacteria. Yeah, they might bring thought back there. I mean. Yeah, I think he would.

[Henry Zebrowski]

There's a lot of thought bacteria going on here right now.

[Ben Kissel]

Oh, yeah. I mean, some thought anti bacterial

[Marcus Parks]

antibiotics.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Thank you.

[Ben Kissel]

God damn it. I'm doing aliens. The red ball and his occupants were gone. Would not return. But they left behind a palpable unease. The children and adults on the periphery said that they felt intense fear. For three days after the contact, it was the children of Rosnov, the onion girls and the frozen gasoline runner boys that sought answers to what lay behind the experience they all shared.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Does gasoline freeze?

[Ben Kissel]

I don't know. In Russia, until they transport, it's popsicles. There's what it's like. Many were shut down immediately due to the stigma and an encounter with a bronze robot with his disc. Men soldiers would bring upon their small, weak Eastern European families. The cries of these Iron Curtain youngsters finally cut through the din of criticism. The local party police did indeed launch an investigation. And they found that all of the children repeated the same exact account, down to the detail. And when asked to draw what they saw to each child, even the mutant Chernobyl child. Child drew a circle on sticks with landing pads that look just like an elephant's foot. Which they all knew from the coverage of Chernobyl.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, yeah, well. But was the elephant foot in, like the. Did they talk about that at all in Soviet Russia? Seems like they wouldn't.

[Ben Kissel]

I don't know, man. I know about the alien robots, okay? I throw stuff in here to sort of guess about what the kids might know or might not know. All right? I'm so. I don't even know if they have parents or not. I assume they're orphans because they're in Russia.

[Henry Zebrowski]

You know, would help with that context.

[Ben Kissel]

But there's no context here, Eddie. Context less. Now, local party investigators surveyed the scene of the landing. They found holes in the ground the shape and the size of elephant feet that must have been left by the craft's landing gear. Also, two strange red chunks of rock were found. Many believe them to be not of this Earth. Eventually, everyone moved on, and the voice of encounter would be lost to the winds of time. Even though this is arguably the biggest story to come out of the USSR in 1989.

[Marcus Parks]

In 1989, yeah, yeah, it's a big story.

[Ben Kissel]

I don't know how. I don't know what overshadowed.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Is that how Gorbachev got the mark?

[Ben Kissel]

They landed right on his big head? My grandfather had one of those.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Really?

[Ben Kissel]

Yeah. He said he got it from a ceiling falling in on him in. In World War II, but I know it was lie. Yeah, he lied a lot.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, my uncle's got one of those.

[Ben Kissel]

Yeah. Really?

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, man.

[Ben Kissel]

It was more common back in the day. I haven't seen a wine stain in a long time on a bald man. Yeah, I can bring him back.

[Henry Zebrowski]

You'll grow one.

[Ben Kissel]

If only hopefully. Just like my pipe pool.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Oh, yes. Gonna jump in the shower now. Taking off my pants. There goes the underwear. Uh, oh, my shirts off now too. Yes. Those are my breasts. Hello.

[Ben Kissel]

Hello.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Ha.

[Ben Kissel]

Who's that?

[Henry Zebrowski]

Who's looking at me? Hey, hey, don't look at here. This is my bathroom. Hey, keep your eyes. Oh, it's legal for you to just look from your house into my house. Oh, man, I gotta get some blinds. I'm gonna go to blinds.com. that's right, because I heard that blinds.com, they've actually been selling blinds for 30 years. You believe that? 30 years I've had no blinds. What's wrong with me? I'm so stupid. But now I'm getting blinds. That's it. I'm going to blind stock blinds dot com. I'm gonna get these. Yeah, the sideways ones. Or maybe I'm. You do the ups and downs. You know what? I'm gonna ask a professional. Oh, I can go full DIY or bring in a licensed or vetted pro. That's amazing. I'm gonna finally have some privacy so I can play with my privates in private. Right now, blinds.com is giving our listeners an exclusive. 50, $50 off when you spend 500 or more. Just use the code left at checkout. Limited time offer rules and restrictions apply. See blinds.com for details. Yo, what's going on, everybody? Did you know that I have a wonderful wife who makes my backyard nice? And no, I'm not talking about my tush. I'm talking about my actual backyard. It's beautiful back there. She's working so hard and she's making it great. There's a fire pit now there's all kinds of cool plants and trees. And that's the best part is we got this account with fast growing trees and she was able to order some May night salvia and a fire witch dianthus plant. I don't know what they are, but they're beautiful. I know that much. I know that they're in front of the my neighbor's wall that I had to look at for all these years and the paint's chipping off and I ain't gonna paint it because it's not my wall, it's my neighbor's wall and I ain't painting that. So you know what we do? We go bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bloop, bloop, bloop. Thank you. Fast growing trees. Trees. We're gonna cover that wall with a bunch of fire witch dianthus plant. I never heard of it, but it's gorgeous. It's purple and it sits all over the chipped paint and I'll go look at that mess no more because of fast growing trees and my wonderful wife. So right now they have great deals on spring planting essentials. Up to half of select plants and listeners to our show get 20% off their first purchase when using the code left at checkout. Offer is valid for a limited time. Terms and conditions may apply. Make your life better with fast growing trees.

[Ben Kissel]

As routine shift and summer plans begin, it's easy to for learning to take a back seat, IXL makes it simple to stay sharp and keep skills fresh in just a few minutes a day. IXL is an award winning online learning platform that helps kids truly understand what they're learning. Whether they're building math confidence, strengthening reading and writing skills or reviewing science concepts. I will say one of the tougher things has been getting Carmi and Wendy through chemistry. They don't, they can't really seem to understand the letters or the number numbers or really any of the science involved in it. But I found that when we hook them up to the IXL chemistry classes, not only are they excelling in classes, one thing I found little beakers by their beds. I couldn't believe they're doing experiments on their own. Ixl, you certainly have exceeded my expectations. Make an impact on your child's learning. Get IXL now and last podcast and the Left listeners can get an exclusive 20% off IXL membership when they sign up today at ixl.com left. Visit ixl.com left to get the most effective learning program out there at the best price. Our final tale is the most mysterious and most action packed of all. This was the story of the attack on Donald Trump.

[Henry Zebrowski]

God, it's like a bush coming.

[Ben Kissel]

Thank you, thank you. I'll take it. Donald Trump lived in Sacramento, California. By the way of Fville, Arkansas.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Alaska.

[Ben Kissel]

No, yeah, Arkansas. That's Alaska. But that's fine. I just wrote it. I said the proper state, though. I said the proper state.

[Marcus Parks]

Arkansas is A.R.

[Ben Kissel]

i don't care. It's a fake state. We should dissolve the states.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Arkansas, Kansas.

[Ben Kissel]

Dissolve the states. And this is not the home of the other famous experiencer, Chris Bledo. The two different difference. The cities are different and they have nothing to do with each other.

[Marcus Parks]

Sacramento and Fayetteville.

[Ben Kissel]

Fayetteville, Arkansas and Fayetteville, North Carolina. Sure.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. There's a lot of Fayettevilles in America.

[Ben Kissel]

Donald lived a life in pain, settled by scoliosis and ruined his plans to join the military. Instead, he lent his talent in life to the aerospace industry with his job as a welder and painter. The key here is, even though Donald worked with space technology, he did not believe in aliens or UFOs.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Good.

[Ben Kissel]

During the incident, Donald was 26 years old and he his two buddies actually just been fired from their aerospace jobs. The encounter took place over one long evening, September 4th to the 5th in the year 1964. Shum and his two buddies went to the Tahoe National Forest for some bow and arrow hunting.

[Marcus Parks]

It's good forest.

[Ben Kissel]

Yes, for killing things in. They were hunting in what used to be known as gold country, the heart of the westward movement of America in its search for freedom and easy money. They found to go to j. They got gold. Got a pan to go. One interesting fact, though, is that the area was also ridden with natural uranium deposits, one of the known contributing factors to alien abductions. Like a natural water source. Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

That's nice.

[Ben Kissel]

It is interesting.

[Marcus Parks]

There's a lot of uranium. Yeah, there is.

[Ben Kissel]

Let's go get it.

[Marcus Parks]

Uranium fever.

[Ben Kissel]

Let's go get it.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

I think it's all gone now. It's on a national forest. Well, I mean, now we. I guess we can.

[Ben Kissel]

Yeah. Let's go dig it up. Y thanks Trump anymore.

[Marcus Parks]

All right.

[Ben Kissel]

Yay. Let's blow it up. I want to shoot a beaver in the head.

[Marcus Parks]

I want to die from uranium poisoning. Yay.

[Henry Zebrowski]

It's much better than Dilly with the Libyans.

[Ben Kissel]

Yeah, the Libyans. So I was saying I want to do a prequel. Young Doc Brown. Yeah, it's great. Why can't we do it?

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. How did he get in contact with the Libyans?

[Ben Kissel]

I should be young Doc Brown.

[Marcus Parks]

You should be.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Will be like middle Doc Brown. Young Doc Brown's in the movie, but

[Ben Kissel]

young Doc Brown is not young in the movie. But you know what I mean. I think I would be a young version of Doc Brown.

[Marcus Parks]

I think you're actually older now than Christopher Lloyd was when he filmed Back to the Future.

[Ben Kissel]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

He was in his 30s. You believe that? That makes you sad.

[Ben Kissel]

Every day is a another slip slide inch towards the casket. Isn't it?

[Marcus Parks]

And Michael J. Fox has Parkinson's.

[Ben Kissel]

That's what's wrong with him. He's 46. He was 46 when he was. So I'm still technically a young duck br.

[Marcus Parks]

All right.

[Ben Kissel]

I could play 40. So here we go. So the men split up looking for deer. Eventually they went looking for deer in the night. Eventually Don. He got lost in the ever increasing dark and he found himself trapped by a sheer cliff face. Right. So he had to double back and he couldn't find anything. All of a sudden it was getting. He was losing all this precious daylight time. All right. And he knew he was in danger because as the forest got darker. Night is the time for bears.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Oh yeah.

[Ben Kissel]

And yes. Hot local cougars. It's true. It's Tahoe. Yep. Cougar country. To hide from the realm. Realm of predators. Don shimmied up 25ft to the top of a pine tree and try to comfortably sleep amongst the needles. Around 9pm A couple of hours after sunset Don saw a light emerge from underneath the mountainous skyline. It traveled from east to west and it oscillated up and down. Initially Don thought it might be a flashlight or even a helicopter. Already summoned by his friends looking for him. Don quickly climbed down the tree. Thinking he was about to to be rescued. Don tried as hard as he could to be noticed by this traveling light. He let three small fires and waved his arms wildly trying to catch his attention. The light suddenly stopped. It instantly zapped over to Don's location and hovered. Now Don could see what the light actually was. It was a matte black cigar shaped vehicle with panels lining its bottom and a singular light on its tip.

[Marcus Parks]

Cigar shape. Very common.

[Ben Kissel]

Very common. And what scared Don the most was that the craft was entirely silent. Island Eddie. You take Don.

[Henry Zebrowski]

That's what scared me.

[Ben Kissel]

Don said I didn't hear any noise at all.

[Henry Zebrowski]

The light hovered between two trees and just hung there. And I was pretty sure it was no helicopter.

[Ben Kissel]

You'd be right. Cause his fan. His friends couldn't give a about him. Yeah. Immediately Don knew he might be safer back up in the tree. He shimmied back up and remained silent. Still hoping. Hoping the craft would simply leave. It did not. It swept the area around the tree and came to a stop. Hovering in Front of dawn, about 50ft away. This is when Don realized the true size of the craft. He estimated to be at least 150ft long and could absorb the light around it. He stared at the ship. Eventually its middle panel on its wide body opened and shot out a little ship. Don called it a module and looked like a tiny version of the what he would describe as the mothership. And remember, these are not in the lexicon at the time. This was before the moon landing. Okay. Right. So the idea of modules he did not really like. I guess he could have maybe have heard it in his industry. But it was not a thing yet.

[Henry Zebrowski]

The cigar shaped crap module.

[Ben Kissel]

Yeah, any of these things.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Okay, cool.

[Ben Kissel]

The module scouted the area below the ship and eventually landed right near the spot where Don was hiding in the tree. He said it was also completely silent and a silver dome on top of it that was linked. A panel opened up on the scout ship and it released its inhabitants. A five foot tall, chunky bipedal creature approached on Sri. The little guy was wearing a one piece silver uniform with bellows on his elbows and knees. Decorative bellows. His head was covered by a tight fitting hood and its face was dark and featureless. Dom was pretty sure it was wearing goggles. I love workman uniforms on aliens.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah.

[Ben Kissel]

I want to make a line of workman's uniforms for us that are metallic silver and gold.

[Marcus Parks]

What are bellows exactly? I don't know what bellows are.

[Ben Kissel]

I view in my mind they are just like like pirates designs. You know how like when you like on robot, like in the Lost in Space robot, his whole arms are that kind of crunchy thing. Yeah, crunchy like slinky thing. It's that, but it's just decorations for your elbows.

[Marcus Parks]

All right, cool.

[Ben Kissel]

It's a designer's choice.

[Marcus Parks]

I like it.

[Ben Kissel]

I think it's fun. I think it's baby. Maybe she got it from Valentino or something.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Danger, David Robinson.

[Ben Kissel]

Danger you rem. So now creature one was soon met by another identical alien. Don noticed that they seemed to be studying or gathering gathering samples of nearby brush.

[Marcus Parks]

It's danger, Will Robinson. David Robinson played for the Spurs.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I know. The admiral.

[Ben Kissel]

He knows. They were particularly interested in the manzanita which is an evergreen shrub. Don gathered they were intensely curious about their surroundings buildings. Don stayed as silent as he could to not be noticed. The two creatures worked their way towards Don's tree. He saw as they approached the bottom and looked up at him. He said the eyes haunted and terrified him. They stared at him with Their black doll like eyes. Their faces were also flat and black. Don couldn't be sure if it was part of the helmet or their actual face. Especially since the nose was lower than any humans was wont to be. The aliens admitted cooing noises like birds and commuted back and forth, communicated back and forth with the mothership. They would hoot. And who like owls and the ship would answer back in the same manner? Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Do you think his nose was low so he could smell his own balls?

[Ben Kissel]

Simply delightful. Another wonderful choice by the alien man.

[Henry Zebrowski]

So the nose is right on top of my dick?

[Ben Kissel]

Yes. Make sure to hold your breath when you're taking a ppe. The aliens chose to ignore Dawn. At this point they focused on looking for something specific. It became obvious they were directed by the sounds of the mothership. The first two guys would eventually be joined by four more identical aliens. They're all looking for something they can't find. Eventually, the first two aliens circled back to the Don. He heard an intense thrashing noise coming from the brush nearby. And he was startled to see two huge flashlight orange eyes emerge from the forest darkness. And they illuminated what Don called a robot jaw. The robot marched towards Don's tree. As it got closer, he could see that it was in fact a humanoid robot in a metallic suit. And not one, but two. Both were slightly shorter than the uniform aliens. The robots had no visible nose and a large hinge square jaws. The robots had a human shaped hands made of metal like a suit of armor or medieval gauntlet. And of course herky jerky movement.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, they kind of remind me of the robot in the more human than human video White Zombie. You know the robot that was on the the COVID of the CD of Astor Creep 2000.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I had the other one with the super sexy sounds.

[Marcus Parks]

Super sexy swinging sounds.

[Ben Kissel]

Yeah, that's the one I had.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, that was a good one, man.

[Ben Kissel]

I wasn't allowed to purchase the album. Shuffled over the signal fires Don had lit. They stomped out the fires. Very fire bad. The mothership directed the two evil robots towards Dawn. And one of the robots moved its hands up to its square hinge jaw. The robot's jaw opened and a cloud of white vapor sprayed out of its mouth, forming a cloud, then moved towards dog Don. It's my hover stick. Stay up all night. Don didn't smell anything. He gasped for breath and passed out within seconds. It was an indica. Don was now unconscious. Fatefully, the way he positioned his hunting bow caught him before he fell to his death. Afterwards, Don came to believe that he had interrupted the aliens doing some form of investigation. Now that they discovered Don't. Don. Perhaps they were trying to kidnap him for their extraterrestrial zoo. This whole game about gassing Don, he'd pass out, he'd wake up minutes later. Shtick. He'd go on for the entire night. Don would wake up, the robots would unhinged his jaw, emit a gas cloud. They'd knock Don out, minutes later he'd wake back up. And they tortured him this way for hours.

[Henry Zebrowski]

We used to do that as a kid.

[Marcus Parks]

We'd.

[Ben Kissel]

You know the knockout game? Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Don't do it at home, it's bad for.

[Ben Kissel]

You have a spotter brain damage.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I don't remember much

[Ben Kissel]

now. Don knew he was gonna have to fight his way out. You take this, Eddie.

[Henry Zebrowski]

He was determined to use every means at his disposal to make it back to his wife Judy and his young daughter Donna.

[Ben Kissel]

And all he had was a 60 pound recurve bow with a 28 inch pull and a bunch of arrows. Arrows?

[Marcus Parks]

You don't know what any of that means.

[Ben Kissel]

I just saw it online. I know it's a big. It's a thing. I don't know, it's strong. Two aliens of one of the robots had Don surrounded. Don figured, shoot the rivet, he's the one who's going to do the fighting. Don aimed to let the arrow fly, struck the robot in the torso. And when it did, a big arc flash of light filled Don's vision. This scattered the aliens. The arrow pushed the robot back like 10ft. And the aliens followed suit. They were surprised by the attack. Due to my years of research, I know it's probably because often firearms are not usable in the presence of UFOs.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, no one really tries to use a bow and arrow. But if aliens have been coming here for forever, they would have run bow and arrow at some point.

[Ben Kissel]

Oh yeah. If predator is real, which it is, then then if that's a documentary, then yes. At some point they would have had to run into some form of. And. Or if we saw what's a prey. Same thing. They had to run tossing something, some point. You're right. Thank you for saying that. No one ever says that.

[Henry Zebrowski]

It's so nice to hear.

[Ben Kissel]

I just gotta say, it's so good to hear. Don kept firing arrows to keep them at bay. As he ran out of arrows, he was sure they would counterattack. They never retaliated. But they didn't leave. Don knew from the previous interaction these guys didn't like fighting fire. He Hatched a plan. He took out one of the seven books of matches he still had in his pocket and lit it on fire.

[Marcus Parks]

I was wondering how he lit those three fires so quickly earlier, packed with packs of matches.

[Ben Kissel]

For some reason, he threw it at the robot below, which caused it to back away. Then he lit his head on fire and threw it at the aliens. He noticed the more fires he lit, the higher the mothership would float. He burned everything on his body down to his pants and shoes. Now that he was out of quote unquote ammo again. Then the aliens re approached.

[Marcus Parks]

What is he wearing that's so flammable?

[Ben Kissel]

That's just. I have no idea. Is he not sweating? I have no idea. It's cold. No. He should be. He kept climbing higher up the tree, tying himself to the trunk with his belt.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Inflammable belt.

[Ben Kissel]

It's the only thing I have. It's made out of pure lead. The aliens began to climb up the trunk, but they couldn't reach the first branch. He kept trying to boost. They kept trying to boost each other up like all the aliens like getting on each other's shoulders, trying to force themselves up the tree.

[Marcus Parks]

No. Put my. My foot there in your hand.

[Ben Kissel]

No. Dissipates before it gets to him.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Don's up there pissing on him.

[Ben Kissel]

Yeah, we do. I'm full of it. You'll never beat a proper blood filled man. You'll never beat a man. He also realized he could shake the tree from the top. And they fall down.

[Marcus Parks]

Oh.

[Ben Kissel]

Still they hit him with the gas again. He passed out and he woke back up in a panic.

[Marcus Parks]

Still tied to the tree with his belt.

[Ben Kissel]

Yeah, suspended. He threw everything he had in his pockets of the aliens.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I thought he already burnt his cloth.

[Ben Kissel]

No, his pants. On his pants. So he threw his change at the aliens and he barked at them like a coyote, which is high pitched. The barks did nothing. But they did pick up the loose change. And he that he threw at them and they pocketed like it was museum treasures.

[Marcus Parks]

That's nice.

[Ben Kissel]

They were like extra seals discs all night. If Don was inviting the robots, they would keep knocking him out. Then they try to climb up to get them and he went and he knocked him down the tree all night till they finally hit him with the biggest gas cloud of all.

[Marcus Parks]

So they had a big knockout the whole time?

[Ben Kissel]

Oh yeah. Don woke up disoriented, suspended from the tree by his belt. He noticed the first few rays of the sun coming up over the mountaintops. He also saw that the ship and its occupants were gone. He had survived a few full 12 hours of close contact alien warfare.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Hold on.

[Ben Kissel]

How you're going to try to. You're going to try to shut. You're going to minimize this. How big was the belt?

[Henry Zebrowski]

Like when I have a belt, there's only like a couple extra notches. That's true. Not enough for an entire tree.

[Marcus Parks]

That's true.

[Ben Kissel]

He might have. It might have been a rope. He could have been skinny and had too big of a belt. That's what I'm going to say.

[Marcus Parks]

Maybe he brought a backup belt. Oh, I always do on camping trips.

[Ben Kissel]

I always have three or four belts because they ripped through them. I should bust them open 24 7. They can't even stay on me.

[Marcus Parks]

Maybe you needed a belt for the bow hunting. You know, sometimes they have the. The pole.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yes.

[Ben Kissel]

He saw.

[Marcus Parks]

Trying to help you out.

[Ben Kissel]

I love it. I like it. I don't need. Again. I removed context for a reason.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Ben Kissel]

I stripped it.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I had to poke holes in it just like he did with his giant belt.

[Ben Kissel]

Thank you. In order to tie himself to the tree, keep him safe from aliens. He always kind of thought he was going to need do this. So he went down. He saw small footprints all over the area. He found remnants of everything he had burned and thrown down. He just recovered his bow, his canteen, two of his arrows, one of which have been melted. And the coins that he had thrown were gone. He eventually found his friends back at the original camp. He told his boys all about it, and none of their lives were ever the same. According to Don's wife, he was white as a sheet.

[Marcus Parks]

He walked as though he had walked

[Ben Kissel]

for hundreds of miles. I like that you're doing it like Audrey from little. You know, from.

[Marcus Parks]

I can do a little more.

[Guest or Additional Speaker]

His eyes were dazed. He spoke to me in a very shaky voice. He had dark circles under his eyes. His arms were covered in pitch, as were his pants and T shirt. He had small scratches all over his arms. He came in and he didn't even say hi, hello or anything. He sat down on a couch. He then proceeded to tell me about his disco grove. His hand shook and his voice was subdued and very shaky. It seemed as though he was on the verge of crying.

[Ben Kissel]

I hate my wife. God damn it, I hate my wife. For the rest of his days, Don would remain traumatized. He was sick for weeks after the encounter with an intense runny nose and chest pains. They checked for radiation poisoning and found none. He would wake up from a dead sleep screaming. Those eyes. Those Eyes. He would eventually grow to be completely afraid of the dark. When he went hunting with friends, he would always return to the campfire as it got dark sometimes. After the encounter, Don and Judy moved up to Citrus Heights. Don and Vincent, his wife Gloria, they would sometimes go camping over at Duffy Creek. And one evening at the campsite, dawn got suddenly very quiet. And he looked out at the ridge just as a strange light in the sky appeared and zoomed across the sky and disappeared, followed by a smaller strange light to follow the exact path as the first shooting stars. Don said he got a buzzing sound in his ears right before the UFOs appeared, and he got the sense of where to look in the sky. And later the night, Vincent found Don away and holding his handgun. Vincent. Don heard crackling, crunching and walking sounds for the rest of the night. And when daylight emerged, they packed up Cat and left. Even though they were planning on another night camping and got scared because he

[Henry Zebrowski]

was clenching his gun in the middle of the night.

[Ben Kissel]

He was. He was.

[Marcus Parks]

Listen, Don, I'm thinking we need to head back.

[Ben Kissel]

Shut the fuck up. You can go. With what I went through, I forgot,

[Marcus Parks]

I. I got a thing that I got a thing I gotta get to.

[Ben Kissel]

I am just. I got a heart out on this camping trip. Right. I gotta go now. What's funny is that this encounter, he finally reached the local air force base that happened to be Wright Patterson. So two officers from Wright Patterson hearing all this was happening, they met with John on September 25, 1964 to interview him. The officers tried to dissuade Don from believing that he encountered a ufo. Don showed the officers his melted rainbow colored arrowhead that he shot at the alien Robit. The officer asked, can take the arrowhead back, can we? We're going to take this, get analyzed. Don agreed. Never got it back. Never heard from the guys again. Jerks, right? Eventually, intelligence officers would state that at the end of their investigation, it's more likely that dawn was attacked by a group of quote, Japanese or rowdy, prank loving metal teenagers. That is literally what they said they're like. Well, it must have been the Japanese in 1964. No idea why immediately they're just like, huh? Robot people. That's the Japanese.

[Henry Zebrowski]

The racism was still high back then.

[Ben Kissel]

Yeah, yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

At least by 64. Maybe at least say Korean.

[Ben Kissel]

What if they're huge Gundam fans? They could be that. Because I feel like anime. When did. When did Mecca anime start?

[Marcus Parks]

Don't know that off at the top of my head. I would. Astro Boy was In the early 60s, I think.

[Ben Kissel]

Do you think these guys are super into vintage Japanimation or you have one

[Henry Zebrowski]

sentence left and you're googling.

[Ben Kissel]

1977. 1963 was the first one.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Oh, okay.

[Ben Kissel]

So it was Gigantor the Robot.

[Marcus Parks]

Gigantor. I love Gigantor.

[Ben Kissel]

Wow. I nailed it. However you slice it, I'm pretty sure after today's episode we know that alien rivets are real and very dangerous. But also they are cute and fun. Thank you.

[Marcus Parks]

Patreon.com Last podcast on the left is where you can go see our stream. You can give us a little bit of cash for that or if you got a Netflix account, you can see the wonderful performances from today acted out in real time. And thank you so much for watching everybody who has made our Netflix series bonafide hit.

[Ben Kissel]

Yes, truly wonderful.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Thank you.

[Ben Kissel]

And go to LP on the left for all of these social media needs that you have. I don't know why you have them, but they are there. And you can go to YouTube and you can see someplace underneath LPN Romantasy the Foreign Report, no Dogs in Space. And over on LPN tv, HGX to season two, it is still rocking and rolling. Go check it out. And also check it out for our new lineup of btm, which will be coming out soon. Also go out there, go check out our brand new Halloween sound effects album Fright. Jansen's revolting repository of Ghastly Sounds, Volume 1 and 2. If you can still get it. I don't think you can.

[Marcus Parks]

Newberry Comics. Check it out.

[Ben Kissel]

Yeah, they might.

[Marcus Parks]

They might still have a couple.

[Henry Zebrowski]

We'll See also on YouTube. The Brighter side's on YouTube now. Yeah, LPN. Go subscribe over there and watch. Watch that. It's a lot of fun. We're hitting the road. We're gonna be in Pittsburgh.

[Ben Kissel]

Steel City, baby.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I'm excited. May 29th, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, Carnegie Music hall of Oakland. Saturday, June 27th, Grand Rapids, Michigan, GLC Live 20 Monroe. Friday, July 17th, Tulsa, Oklahoma, Kane's Ballroom and July 18th, Oklahoma City, Oklahoma at the Tower Theater. Those are the last four shows of the JK Ultra Show.

[Ben Kissel]

Yes. And then we will coming back with the new tour right after that. Yeah, if you want to see that, you got four more chances to come out.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Also, I'm gonna be in Phoenix on June 7 with Amber Nelson and Julie Rosing over at the Desert Ridge Improv. So come check me out there. It's gonna be a lot of fun.

[Ben Kissel]

And by the time you get to Phoenix, it's a four hour song. Yep. Hail sweet Satan, everyone.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Hail David. David Robinson.

[Ben Kissel]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

David Robinson. And all the San Antonio spurs that

[Ben Kissel]

we know and love. I'm rooting for them.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah, why not?

[Ben Kissel]

Yeah. Is that one guy Robert Ori? Robert Ori.

[Marcus Parks]

Tim Duncan. That's the one. I'm trying to think.

[Henry Zebrowski]

He's very good. Yeah, well, it was. Now he's. I mean, I'm sure he's still pretty good at basketball, but I'm sure.

[Ben Kissel]

Yeah, he's old.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah.

[Ben Kissel]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Certainly not a robot alien.

[Ben Kissel]

Nope. That's the only people I care about.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Go check his blood.

[Marcus Parks]

No, no, we're saying it right now. Tim Duncan, not a robot alien.

[Ben Kissel]

We'll see.

[Marcus Parks]

David Robinson. Maybe

[Ben Kissel]

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[Marcus Parks]

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[Ben Kissel]

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[Marcus Parks]

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[Ben Kissel]

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[Marcus Parks]

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[Ben Kissel]

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