Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder

Summary

Last Podcast on the Left: Episode Summary Title: Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
Release Date: March 21, 2025
Hosts: Marcus Parks, Ed Larson, Henry Zebrowski
Description: The Last Podcast on the Left delves into a fictional and fiendish tournament known as the March Madness of Murder and Mayhem, where a mix of real and imagined horrors face off in brutal confrontations. This Wild Card edition promises unexpected twists and intense battles.

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1. Introduction to March Madness of Murder and Mayhem

The hosts kick off the episode by announcing the 4th Annual March Madness of Murder and Mayhem in an unconventional setting: the Depends Adult Diapers for Men's Center in downtown Croatia. They reveal this year's unique twist—a Wild Card edition featuring predominantly non-fictional and a few fictional contestants.

Notable Quote:

• Henry Zebrowski at [02:03]: “We got the braswurst poppin'we, got the popcorn poppin' and. We got the crack in the light bulb.”

2. Eastern Conference – First Round

a. Mars Attacks Aliens vs. Marjorie Taylor Greene

The first matchup features the Mars Attacks Aliens against Marjorie Taylor Greene, portrayed as a resilient and formidable fighter with a constitution capable of withstanding severe attacks.

Key Points:

• Mars Attacks Aliens possess advanced technology, including now-depleted laser weaponry.
• Marjorie Taylor Greene is depicted as a "bruiser" with immense physical strength but lacking in intelligence.
• The battle concludes with the aliens overpowering Greene through coordinated attacks, ultimately transforming her into a skeleton.

Notable Quote:

• Ed Larson at [08:43]: “She's a tank. Yeah, she's definitely... ready to fuck shit up within a 3ft circle of her arms.”

b. Joseph Fritzl vs. Mu Dang the Hippo strapped to a Boston Dynamics Dog

Joseph Fritzl, armed with his grandfather's Luger, faces off against Mu Dang, a hippo controlled by a Boston Dynamics robotic dog. The fight is intense, highlighting Fritzl's strategic use of his firearm against Mu Dang's unconventional mobility.

Key Points:

• Fritzl initially aims to outmaneuver Mu Dang but is ultimately overwhelmed.
• The Boston Dynamics dog proves too agile, reprogramming to attack Fritzl directly.
• Fritzl is defeated after a brief but brutal confrontation.

Notable Quote:

• Marcus Parks at [14:20]: “All right, so this fight's currently happening.”

c. Australian Larrikins vs. Jan Pilgrim

The Australian Larrikins, portrayed as fearless and armed with slingshots loaded with rocks, confront Jan Pilgrim, the cabin boy from the Batavia. This battle emphasizes the guerrilla tactics of the Larrikins against Pilgrim's lone-wolf approach.

Key Points:

• The Larrikins' swarm tactics and superior numbers overwhelm Pilgrim.
• Jan Pilgrim attempts to assert leadership but is swiftly outmatched.
• The Larrikins eliminate Pilgrim with coordinated attacks, advancing to the next round.

Notable Quote:

• Ed Larson at [21:02]: “They’re like a swarm— a cloud of dust with fists coming out.”

d. 911 Gator vs. Lorne Michaels

A grotesque matchup pits the 911 Gator, an oversized alligator with lethal prowess, against Lorne Michaels, the iconic TV producer. The fight is short-lived, with 911 Gator easily overpowering Michaels through sheer brute strength.

Key Points:

• Lorne Michaels employs minimal strategy, relying on intimidation.
• 911 Gator employs aggressive physical attacks, swiftly ending the fight.

Notable Quote:

• Henry Zebrowski at [26:14]: “He’s got springs in his feet. He’s able. He’s very intimidating.”

3. Western Conference – First Round

a. Benicio Del Toro as Wolfman vs. Judge Doom

Benicio Del Toro embodies the Wolfman, a fearsome werewolf, while Judge Doom, a sinister capitalist villain, brings his own set of deadly skills to the arena.

Key Points:

• The Wolfman showcases formidable strength and ferocity.
• Judge Doom utilizes his cunning and advanced weaponry, including spring-loaded boots and impaling swords.
• The battle ends swiftly with Judge Doom impaling the Wolfman’s face, securing his victory.

Notable Quote:

• Henry Zebrowski at [30:23]: “Judge Doom’s gonna be pretty hard to beat. Yeah, you're sick.”

b. Tilikum the Whale vs. Luigi Mangione

Tilikum, the killer whale from SeaWorld, faces Luigi Mangione, an Italian avenger equipped with a harpoon gun. The fight is constrained by the environment—a tank equipped for aquatic combat.

Key Points:

• Luigi prepares meticulously, leveraging his harpoon to counter Tilikum's aquatic strengths.
• Despite Luigi’s preparation, Tilikum employs overwhelming force, eventually drowning him.
• Tilikum remains undefeated due to the tank's confines and lack of mobility for Luigi.

Notable Quote:

• Ed Larson at [35:55]: “He writes detune D, scribble on the side of the water gun filled with dip.”

c. Jimmy Savile vs. Diddy

A bizarre and unsettling battle sees Jimmy Savile, infamous for his heinous crimes, against Diddy, the music mogul. This fight delves into manipulation and psychological warfare.

Key Points:

• Diddy utilizes his charisma to disarm the SLA, luring them into a false sense of security with exclusive party settings.
• Savile’s malevolence is overshadowed by Diddy's strategic elimination of threats.
• Diddy emerges victorious by incapacitating Savile with his concocted "Sleepy Oil."

Notable Quote:

• Marcus Parks at [39:38]: “Diddy's got what will appeal to Jimmy Savile.”

d. Keith Ranieri vs. Symbionese Liberation Army (SLA)

Keith Ranieri, representing Nexium, engages with the Symbionese Liberation Army, a notorious militant group. The fight emphasizes ideological clashes and ruthlessness.

Key Points:

• The SLA’s tactical expertise and aggressive strategies overwhelm Keith Ranieri.
• Ranieri’s attempts to maintain composure are futile against the SLA’s coordinated assault.
• SLA secures their place in the quarterfinals by eliminating Ranieri.

Notable Quote:

• Marcus Parks at [46:17]: “They got lots of creather, naray. They show up, right? The SLA rolls up, they're looking cool.”

4. Quarterfinals

a. Mars Attacks Aliens vs. Joseph Fritzl on Boston Dynamics Dog

The reduced Mars Attacks Aliens team faces Joseph Fritzl now mounted on a Boston Dynamics robotic dog. The dynamics of technology versus brute strength play out sharply.

Key Points:

• Mars Attacks Aliens have limited resources, their laser weapons exhausted from previous fights.
• Fritzl struggles to control the Boston Dynamics dog, which the aliens manage to reprogram.
• The aliens triumph by overpowering Fritzl and neutralizing the robotic dog.

Notable Quote:

• Ed Larson at [50:20]: “Instead, they've reprogrammed it. We have three Mars attacks aliens with one Boston dynamic star, which is powerful.”

b. Yan and the Larrikins vs. Hungry Al Gaeta

Yan and his group of Larrikins confront Al Gaeta, an alligator hunter. The youth-driven zeal and guerrilla tactics of the Larrikins prove too much for Al Gaeta.

Key Points:

• Yan's leadership and the Larrikins' unity and advanced weaponry dismantle Al Gaeta’s defenses.
• The Larrikins employ rock-based attacks and psychological warfare to secure their victory.
• Al Gaeta is decisively defeated, advancing Yan and his team to the semifinals.

Notable Quote:

• Henry Zebrowski at [54:13]: “Al Gaeta doesn't stand a chance against Alaricans because they fight crocodiles.”

c. Luigi Mangione vs. Diddy

The skilled Luigi Mangione faces off against Diddy once more. Luigi’s preparation and resourcefulness are pitted against Diddy’s manipulative tactics.

Key Points:

• Luigi employs landmines and strategic attacks to counter Diddy’s charisma-driven approach.
• Diddy's reliance on manipulation and party settings fails against Luigi's direct assault.
• Luigi successfully eliminates Diddy, showcasing his effectiveness as an avenger.

Notable Quote:

• Marcus Parks at [71:43]: “If you showed a bunch of boys a pair of titties, they come their pants immediately.”

5. Semifinals

a. Yan and the Larrikins vs. Mars Attacks Aliens

The Larrikins led by Yan confront the dwindling Mars Attacks Aliens. The youthful energy and swarm tactics of the Larrikins clash with the technologically superior but fewer aliens.

Key Points:

• The Larrikins utilize their numbers and guerrilla tactics to outmaneuver the aliens.
• Mars Attacks Aliens struggle without their advanced weaponry, relying on hand-to-hand combat.
• Yan and the Larrikins successfully dismantle the alien team, advancing to the finals.

Notable Quote:

• Ed Larson at [62:06]: “These little boys, they are armed to the teeth, they have no parents, they live in the jungle. They feel nothing.”

b. Luigi Mangione vs. Judge Doom

Luigi Mangione faces the relentless Judge Doom, whose capitalist machinations and brutal methods make him a formidable foe.

Key Points:

• Luigi leverages his preparedness and tactical knowledge to counter Judge Doom’s advanced weaponry.
• Despite Judge Doom’s resilience and deadly arsenal, Luigi’s precision and strategic use of "dip" (a fictional weapon) neutralize Doom.
• Luigi advances to the finals, showcasing the triumph of preparation and determination.

Notable Quote:

• Ed Larson at [57:44]: “You don’t think he’s going to be enamored by the beauty of Til.”

6. Finals

a. Yan and the Larrikins vs. Luigi Mangione

The climactic final match pits Yan and his Larrikins against Luigi Mangione, symbolizing the clash between youthful anarchy and calculated vengeance.

Key Points:

• The Larrikins employ swarm tactics and rock-based weaponry against Luigi’s strategic attacks.
• Luigi attempts to use landmines and direct assaults but is ultimately overwhelmed by the Larrikins’ relentless aggression.
• Yan and the Larrikins secure the championship, triumphing through superior numbers and adaptability.

Notable Quote:

• Marcus Parks at [65:34]: “Once you murder someone, yeah, he's... not really into Satanism or anything like that.”

7. Conclusion and Insights

The hosts wrap up the tournament by reflecting on the unexpected dominance of the Larrikins, attributing their victory to unity, strategic prowess, and the raw power of youth. They tease future editions of the March Madness of Murder and Mayhem, emphasizing the unpredictable nature of the Wild Card format.

Notable Quote:

• Marcus Parks at [72:56]: “He’s the capital of all capitalists... he is a self-hating tune.”

Final Thoughts:

• The Wild Card edition showcased a diverse array of contenders, blending real-life villains with mythical creatures.
• The triumph of Yan and the Larrikins underscores the podcast’s thematic focus on chaos and anarchy.
• Hosts invite listeners to engage with the podcast through social media, live shows, and future tournaments.

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Highlights & Memorable Moments

• Host Banter: The dynamic interplay between Marcus, Ed, and Henry adds humor and depth, especially during tense matchups.

• Strategic Analyses: Detailed discussions on each fighter's strengths, weaknesses, and tactical approaches provide insightful entertainment.

• Notable Quotes: Memorable lines, such as Henry’s declaration of blood in his diaper ([03:14]) and Marcus’s vivid descriptions of battle strategies, enhance the episode's engagement.

• Creative Matchups: The blend of historical figures, pop culture icons, and fictional entities creates a unique and unpredictable tournament landscape.

Conclusion

This episode of Last Podcast on the Left offers a captivating and gruesome rendition of a fictional murder tournament, infused with the hosts’ signature humor and dark insights. Whether you're a long-time listener or new to the series, the March Madness of Murder and Mayhem delivers an entertaining exploration of horror and mayhem, wrapped in a structured and engaging format.

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Transcript

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[Marcus Parks]

Hey, listeners, Marcus, Ed and Henry here. A little bit of an announcement.

[Henry Zebrowski]

You loving all the episodes of Last Podcast on the Left lately? Well, listen, now you can get even more from us.

[Ed Larson]

Squeeze it out of us. If you want to hear new episodes ad free and unlock access to Last Podcast on the left seven days early. Subscribe to Sirius XM podcast plus on Apple Podcasts or visit siriusxm.compodcastplus to start your free trial today. Do it.

[Henry Zebrowski]

There's no place to escape to. This is the last on the left.

[Ed Larson]

That's when the cannibalism started. What was that? Ladies and gentlemen, are you ready? Are you prepared for the madness and mayhem? Welcome to Last Podcast on the Left. And we are here at the Depends Adult Diapers for Men's center outside of downtown Croatia. And it is a beautiful day for a fight, isn't it, Marcus?

[Marcus Parks]

That's right. This is the fourth annual Last Podcast on the Left, March Madness of murder and mayhem. This year we've got a damn good surprise for everybody. This year it's gonna be an all wild card edition.

[Henry Zebrowski]

That's right, man. We got the braswurst poppin'we, got the popcorn poppin'and. We got the crack in the light bulb.

[Ed Larson]

That's right.

[Henry Zebrowski]

We are having a time here in.

[Ed Larson]

Croatia, and I hope everybody's enjoying their hot dog made from real dog. It is one of the essential delights here in downtown Croatia. And do you think that we got a stern wind coming out of the Northeast about 45 miles per hour? Do you think that will affect the gameplay today, folks? Well, we'll have to get the. That. That's one contestant off the rankings. All right, here we go. Goodbye, Mitch McConnell.

[Marcus Parks]

Unfortunately, we forgo. In Croatia, the wind blows with powdered glass.

[Ed Larson]

Yes. It's actually a perfect environment. And I feel these contestants, some of these people have never been in a physical fight.

[Marcus Parks]

Absolutely not.

[Ed Larson]

Some of them have been in so many fights, you would consider them to be the most dangerous person around, but that's why we bring them in here today. Isn't that correct? We are doing it in an all dirt field.

[Marcus Parks]

That's right. And here on the wild card edition. I know in previous years on the march madness of mayhem and murder, we've done half fictional and half real, but this year we only got a couple of fictional people in there because this is a wild card edition.

[Ed Larson]

I'm very, very excited to see how this shakes out. And I am filled to the brim. Thank you, Japan.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I have blood in my diaper.

[Ed Larson]

Oh, you might want to get. Check that. Get that checked out of it.

[Marcus Parks]

Nah, nah.

[Ed Larson]

I like your cavalier attitude.

[Marcus Parks]

Welcome to Last podcast. On the left, ladies and gentlemen, I'm Marcus Parks.

[Ed Larson]

Hey, I'm your commentator, Andrew Zabowski. And I'll tell you, my wife's going to divorce me because I'm too good of a husb.

[Marcus Parks]

And of course, Ed Lara.

[Henry Zebrowski]

How you doing folks? I'm just here to have the ham and make sure the whale stays in.

[Ed Larson]

I actually did forget I was going to bring prosciutto today. I forgot it.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Well, tomorrow is another day.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. Let me ask you, am I bleeding right now?

[Henry Zebrowski]

No.

[Marcus Parks]

Okay, good. Cuz it tastes like blood.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. Hey, that's just. That's just your mouth.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. No, well, yeah, I got a cold sore and then when I was doing my announcer voice, it ripped open.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Wow. It's a cold sore. But that's looks.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

Wow. Sexy.

[Ed Larson]

Apply your sports bandage. Oh, very good.

[Marcus Parks]

Yes. Rob has handed me our sports bandages, AKA paper towels.

[Henry Zebrowski]

The quicker.

[Marcus Parks]

So that way, that way I won't be self conscious about bleeding from my mouth.

[Ed Larson]

We're saying thank you to our big sponsors over at Brawny. They could absorb. You know that just one square of Brawny can absorb up to four ounces of infant blood. And that's why Brawny is the number one paper towel of abortionists everywhere.

[Henry Zebrowski]

That's right, you no tampon. No problem. Jam yourself up full of Brawny.

[Ed Larson]

Thanks, you big lumberjack.

[Marcus Parks]

And I also wouldn't mind getting a sponsorship from Oragel.

[Ed Larson]

Oh.

[Marcus Parks]

Because I am quite open about cold sore use and cold sore, you know, suffering.

[Ed Larson]

Maintenance.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, maintenance. So yeah, just ora gel. If you need a sponsor. If you need a pretty face, hit me up. But it ain't too pretty cuz it's got a cold sore on it.

[Ed Larson]

Hey, what's the point of having it if we. If you don't. He earned it though.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, I did earn it. Yeah, I did earn it.

[Henry Zebrowski]

You'll take a paste or a Jail, please.

[Marcus Parks]

But yes. Here on the March Madness of murder and mayhem. This is our fourth one. And what we're going to be doing today is we're going to be picking 16 fighters.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

Out of our cup of champions.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Oh, yeah.

[Ed Larson]

Here we go. So do you want to. Let's start. Let's get our first round.

[Marcus Parks]

Let's get our first round. And of course, we got the Eastern Conference and the Western Conference.

[Henry Zebrowski]

That's right.

[Marcus Parks]

So. Yes.

[Ed Larson]

Yes.

[Henry Zebrowski]

And that's the Far east and the Far West.

[Ed Larson]

Far East. Far East. Far, Far West.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yes.

[Marcus Parks]

All right, so let's start with the Eastern Conference. We're going to go through all the Eastern Conference first round first, and then we're going to go through the Western Conference first round after that.

[Ed Larson]

Nothing makes me happier, Marcus. Let's get into the mayhem.

[Marcus Parks]

So our first contestant today is five Mars Attacks Aliens.

[Ed Larson]

There we go.

[Marcus Parks]

That's going to be.

[Ed Larson]

You know, they are from another planet and they are hostile because they don't understand. Birds do not run.

[Henry Zebrowski]

We are here to protect you.

[Ed Larson]

And if you remember anything from the third annual March Madness that we did. Don't know anything about birds either. I do.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I said 10,000.

[Ed Larson]

We are not going to relitigate. The bird matter is why we chose a new way of doing the contest.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, the bird matter is closed. We can't revisit.

[Ed Larson]

The bird matter has been decided ever since this.

[Henry Zebrowski]

What's happened? The price of eggs through the roof.

[Ed Larson]

It is again. That's eggs, not birds. They came first. Eggs.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Birds have eggs.

[Ed Larson]

Eggs came first.

[Marcus Parks]

And who. Mars Attacks Aliens. Let's see. Here it is. Marjorie Taylor Greene.

[Ed Larson]

Oh, the bruiser from I believe it is Missouri.

[Marcus Parks]

This, Georgia, this big, thick old is.

[Ed Larson]

Ready for a fight.

[Marcus Parks]

All right, so how is this fight? So we're doing this in a dirt field?

[Ed Larson]

Oh, I think all these illegal aliens coming down trying to fight. Got to take a good spot from an American warrior. I will not allow. I will face them in square circle.

[Henry Zebrowski]

They literally have Jewish space lasers.

[Ed Larson]

That is the problem. They are manufactured by some of the finest Jewish laser companies in all of the world. Like, if anybody's seen a bliteristine. One of the best destruction laser companies out there. Thank you for your sponsorship.

[Marcus Parks]

So I'm thinking that. Okay, so with the Mars Attacks Aliens, do they have the space lasers or are they hand to hand here?

[Henry Zebrowski]

I think that they have laser guns. There's no way these aliens fight fair, first of all. You know that.

[Ed Larson]

But Marjorie Taylor Greene is shielded by the constitution. And what you guys don't understand is that the Constitution can absorb, I believe up to the watts of a neutron bomb. I'm trying to think what the. The Constitution can save three blasts.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I mean, forget that. I mean just that. Also her thick skin.

[Ed Larson]

No, she's got. She. If you did a role on her. I did a role for her constitution. It's 18. She has the skin like a rhino. Yeah, she is. It's as thick. It can take most shrapnel and it can take quite a bit. But no direct. You can kill her with a bazook.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I'm pretty sure her mother was an armadillo.

[Marcus Parks]

Yes, yes. But I do think that the Mars Attacks Aliens. They're clever. That's the thing about it is that they're very clever. And Marjorie Taylor Greene is not very bright.

[Ed Larson]

No, no. But what she lacks for in mental strength she makes up for in strength of body and frame.

[Marcus Parks]

She's a tank.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. She is my full on bruiser. She's my number one woman out there ready to fuck shit up within a 3ft circle of her arms.

[Marcus Parks]

It's true. But the Mars attack. The Mars attacks aliens do have the range though. They do. And they also.

[Ed Larson]

There's more heels off.

[Marcus Parks]

And remember there's five of them.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

They'll surround her, see if they can handle me.

[Ed Larson]

What I'll do is I got ripped my dress off, tie it around my head, keep my hair out of my eyes. All I got is my studded bra and my filled panties and I'm ready to take these aliens down one knuckle sandwich at a time. You come for me, you little Martians. You can't handle truth.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Now do you think. Well, first of all, are they fighting now or are we going through the entire. Is this fight currently happening?

[Marcus Parks]

This fight's currently happening.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Okay. All right, good. I just wanted to make sure I.

[Ed Larson]

Knew what was happening.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I don't think she stands chance against five Mars Attacks Aliens.

[Marcus Parks]

I don't think so either.

[Ed Larson]

But I do think in the fight she can get if you get three a hold. Right? Because let's. All right, let's put it this way. Set it up. Attacks aliens land. Right. We're going to have the setup of the fight. Marjorie Taylor Greene, she rolls out of like I usually like the. You know in the gladiator when the big gates rise up and she's coming out, she's been fighting other smaller men, warming up for an hour. Right, right. You said they're like. Yeah. Oh yeah. Mr. Buddha says I'm gonna take you down she's down there working on Pete Buttigieg. Getting herself. She comes out, right, sees the aliens first. I think she's gonna do a sexual affront.

[Marcus Parks]

Mm.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

And do a. You don't know if you could handle this much American woman. Right. And I wonder whether or not they would respond. Yeah. Yeah. You see this? Oh, yeah. You're the hottest baby I've ever seen. I want to slip your entire body inside of me.

[Marcus Parks]

But the Mars Attacks Aliens, as we know, are not swayed by female or human sexuality in any way whatsoever.

[Ed Larson]

But I think she get close to one or two of them.

[Henry Zebrowski]

How?

[Ed Larson]

With her hands?

[Henry Zebrowski]

Well, she's gotta have a gun on her.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. She's one in her.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah, yeah. Or around her.

[Ed Larson]

She's a Dillinger in her.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, yeah. But I believe that traditional firearms were not that effective against the Mars Attacks Aliens. No.

[Ed Larson]

As we know, it's only that one song.

[Marcus Parks]

It's just that one song.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

And I don't think Marjorie Taylor Greene listens to music that good, does not watch Tim Burton.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Plus, she's gonna spend half of the time telling the Mars Attacks Aliens that they never attacked Earth and killed anybody in the first.

[Ed Larson]

Yes, exactly. She's on their side and she kind of wishes she could join them.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, yeah.

[Ed Larson]

But in the end, they don't have any team. So I think, unfortunately they do rise above her and floating. I still think she could take out one.

[Marcus Parks]

Oh, of course she's taking out one. Yeah, yeah, she's definitely.

[Ed Larson]

She's got one.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, she's going to take out one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Cuz they're. They're going to sacrifice one in order to sneak up behind her and take her down.

[Ed Larson]

And then she's definitely zapped into a skeleton.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, she's definitely. I. I actually see it more like the sort of situation they have to like surround a massive elephant and like five people have to like shoot. It has to like.

[Ed Larson]

Defeat me. You can't defeat the green.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Her hair doesn't disintegrate. It just sits on top of the skeleton.

[Ed Larson]

That is all that is left is her tits and hair.

[Marcus Parks]

All right, so round one. The Mars Attacks Aliens take it.

[Henry Zebrowski]

All right.

[Ed Larson]

What a satisfying conflict.

[Marcus Parks]

All right, so round two. We have Joseph Fritzel with his. With his grandfather's Luger. So. Yeah, so he does have.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, I'm ready to fight. It's one of my favorite days. They let me out of the prison and it's just nice to do it. And I have so many different ideas for how home renovations number one Father in the room.

[Marcus Parks]

So what age of Joseph Fritzel are we hitting here now? Oh now 85 year old Josef Fritzl. But he's got his grandfather's Luger and.

[Henry Zebrowski]

He'S out of prison.

[Marcus Parks]

And he's out of prison. Okay. And that he's going to be going up against Mu Dang the hippo strapped to a Boston Dynamic song.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Well, I fortunately able to lure them in a basement and shut that door. Who knows what's going to happen.

[Ed Larson]

So I kind of want to talk about this choice.

[Marcus Parks]

This is Henry's choice. Obviously this is Henry's choice.

[Ed Larson]

Now Mudang is the spiritual center of this team.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah, yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

The miniature hippo.

[Ed Larson]

A lot of the fight and he's going right. Because everyone was joking about Mu Dang being wet and grumpy, which is why he's an antagonist, right?

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

But then he's strapped to a giant Boston Dynamic dog. Now I do think that.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I think that the Boston Dynamic dog slows Mu Dang down.

[Ed Larson]

No, absolutely not. Mu Dang is small enough to be cradled inside of it.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Mudang is a 2 year old hippopotamus at this point.

[Ed Larson]

Yes.

[Henry Zebrowski]

That is the giant tingling.

[Ed Larson]

Look at the size of Mudang is.

[Henry Zebrowski]

When it was a child.

[Ed Larson]

This is now. This is Muang always.

[Henry Zebrowski]

No, it's not new. Mudang is a full grown hippopotamus.

[Ed Larson]

But no, it's not yet. Right now I'm using baby muang.

[Henry Zebrowski]

But you have to say it's baby Muang because does not look like this any longer.

[Marcus Parks]

It's b. It's baby Mudang Muang at the height of its popularity. Yes.

[Ed Larson]

Meme level Mudang. And he's inside of his Boston Dynamic dog, Yosef Fritzel.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Obviously he, the mud hang is inside the dog.

[Marcus Parks]

I think that's unfair. I think that Mudang should be strapped on top of the dog.

[Ed Larson]

Kind of mean.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, yeah.

[Ed Larson]

It's essentially it's a belt attached to it.

[Marcus Parks]

A leather belt.

[Ed Larson]

I think that you could see this thing revving up. Joseph Ritzel's bound to a chair. You can barely walk. He's got his Luger up being like, I've the one thing I learned in all my time of being a father is patience.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

And he sits and he waits and Mudang, they load him up. Right. He comes, comes out. We decide whether or not at first Mu Dang, he's too cute. He likes the attention.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

Right. So everybody's applauding Mu Dang. Everyone's like yay, Mu Dang. Right. And so the legs Are going. And it's like dancing for the crowd. And everyone's like, oh, mu dang. And it's like going. And the audience loves it. They're falling apart. Right. Joseph Fritzel's not remotely like, he's not phased.

[Henry Zebrowski]

No, no.

[Ed Larson]

He had sex with his own daughter too much. He's. He can't deal with being cute.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah. He's just gonna pull out his gun and shoot mu Dang in the head.

[Ed Larson]

Exactly. One shot.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah, he has one shot. He's gonna throw like a battery down a staircase and a dog's gonna go after him. Shut the door.

[Ed Larson]

Josef Fritzel knows to wait for his moment at the very top of mudang. Working its crowd pleasing engagement because it must, because it's driven by ad dollars.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

Josef Fritzel shoots it in the head and that leads the Boston dynamic dog to be leaderless.

[Marcus Parks]

But I do think that Joseph Fritzel, he's an old man. I don't know what his marksmanship skills are like. So I think he's gonna wait until the Boston dynamics dog with mu dang strapped on top charges him. Dynamic dog's eyes waits until he charges him. And so he's gonna shoot mu Dang. He's got the right before the Boston dynamic dogs. Dynamics. But that's the thing. The Boston dynamics dog is gonna collide with the old man.

[Ed Larson]

Well, now Josef Ritzel is been knocked out of his wheel. Now it's Yusuf Ritzel second round, unfortunately. On his feet.

[Marcus Parks]

Yes, yes, he's on his feet. He's definitely on his feet. And he's a little batter because that's what we got to remember. That's what the rules that we put in last year is that you do go, you do go into the next round with the injuries that you sustained in the round before. So, for example, we have only four Mars attacks aliens left.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yes, exactly.

[Ed Larson]

And now it's Joseph Fritzel has been removed because he obviously was in a rascal.

[Henry Zebrowski]

But I also think that once Mudang is dead and the dog has this stupid weight off its back of a hippopotamus, it will be a much, much more fierce fighter and will kill Joseph Fritzel while he's laying on the ground. I just stomp him to death.

[Ed Larson]

It loses. The mu Dang is the driving force.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, Mudang's the driving force. I think after he kills mu dang, Fritzel gains control. The Boston dynamics dog, he's riding dynamic.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

So now it's Yoshi Fritzel riding a Boston dynamic star. But he loses the gun yeah, yeah. But he loses the gun because he.

[Ed Larson]

Only had one bullet in it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it shot me down and I.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Was so surprised when it actually worked.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay.

[Ed Larson]

I was never supposed to last this long.

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[Marcus Parks]

Hey, listeners, Marcus, Ed and Henry here. A little bit of an announcement.

[Henry Zebrowski]

You loving all the episodes of Last podcast on the Left lately. Well, listen, now you can get even more from us.

[Ed Larson]

Squeeze it out of us. If you want to hear new episodes ad free and unlock access to Last podcast on the left seven days early. Subscribe to Sirius XM podcast plus on Apple Podcasts or visit siriusxm.compodcastplus to start your free trial today. Do it.

[Marcus Parks]

All right, next round.

[Ed Larson]

Wow, this is great. Yeah, this is really our best work.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, it really is.

[Ed Larson]

This is the best stuff.

[Marcus Parks]

We do 10 fully armed Australian larrikins.

[Ed Larson]

Now, for those who remember larrikins, they right. Those are the rambunctious children that built the entire criminal network of Australia. And a fully armed larrikin has a garbage pail body, Right? It has garbage pail armor with holes cut out of the side of it with the hand sticking out of it.

[Marcus Parks]

With Ned Kelly armor.

[Ed Larson]

Yes.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

Trash can land head hat. And each one has an armed slingshot.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

With how many? With a bunch of rocks.

[Ed Larson]

Yes, A lot of.

[Marcus Parks]

I mean, a nearly unlimited supply.

[Henry Zebrowski]

It's Australia. There's rocks everywhere.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, it's a rock heavy city. Or a country.

[Ed Larson]

Again, they're children, though, but they're fearless.

[Marcus Parks]

By children, we mean, what, 13, 14?

[Henry Zebrowski]

I would say. Yeah, 8 to 13.

[Marcus Parks]

8 to 8 to 13.

[Ed Larson]

In Australia, you're a child until you're 13. You're immediately a man as soon as you hit 14, and then you're an adult man.

[Henry Zebrowski]

And then at 18, you're a crocodile.

[Marcus Parks]

So we got 10 fully armed Australian larrikins versus. It's gonna be child versus child. We have Jan Pilgrim, the cabin boy from the Batavia, the insane cabin boy.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Wow, this fight could have actually happened.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, it's so close.

[Marcus Parks]

It really could have. This is a. This is a regional battle here.

[Ed Larson]

That's where he came from.

[Marcus Parks]

Off the coast of Australia versus the Australians themselves.

[Ed Larson]

All right, now we know he's supposed to be impressed by you. You know, you're supposed to be a great granddaddy of some sort of some kind. But the rest of us don't care because we ain't old people. We want to skill team.

[Marcus Parks]

And I'm going to put Jan Pilgrim. I'm not going to do Jan Pilgrim as he was, which you know, of course he was back then. Too weak to strangle anybody, too weak to kill anybody. I'm doing yon Pilgrim as he saw himself. Oh yeah.

[Ed Larson]

Strongest boy they ever lived.

[Marcus Parks]

John Pilgrim self.

[Ed Larson]

Im I'm a boy that was born to kill other boys and I'll do it discriminately.

[Henry Zebrowski]

What are the chances that they just join forces and decide that they're like, he's the 11th larrikin.

[Marcus Parks]

Good. Very good.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, well, this is the problem.

[Marcus Parks]

Very, very good.

[Ed Larson]

Did we understand this at first when we put together this list? Because I think that there is no way they stay separate.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

I think that the Americans see him and say, oh my God, we're on the same team.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah. Why fight when we can k this?

[Marcus Parks]

Yes.

[Ed Larson]

Let's go take this whole thing. They can't wait to fight the Martian, the Mars aliens. That's all they want to do. It's all American ever wanted, ever was to fight a Martian. Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I think that this is. I feel like they're just gonna become buddies.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, he's a follower, you know, he's 11 larrikins.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I don't know.

[Marcus Parks]

I think John Pilgrim becomes the leader. Oh yeah. I think if young Pilgrim as his like self image, like, because young Pilgrim, you gotta remember he's 17 and he.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Did talk people into killing.

[Ed Larson]

He did he? Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah. He definitely, definitely gums in. They're about to fight and Larrikins all sit. They kind of measure each other up. All of a sudden they're looking at each other's slingshots and they're like, noise slingshot. He's just like, yeah, it is right.

[Marcus Parks]

It's fucking awesome.

[Ed Larson]

I killed a bunch of people with it. I've killed people. Multiple grown men.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I got a dull knife. It barely works, but you can slap people with it.

[Ed Larson]

A lot of us, we never really got a chance to kill grown men. You it or mostly just harass people, pretend to be ghosts.

[Henry Zebrowski]

As long as it's got a point on it.

[Ed Larson]

It can go in the eye. Let's go together.

[Marcus Parks]

All right. So it's going to be.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Wow.

[Marcus Parks]

The. The best Australian garage rock band ever, Yan and the Larans. Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

Wow. That is just. Ben is a team that you. We didn't know that it could happen like this.

[Marcus Parks]

All right.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Defying reality.

[Ed Larson]

That's why this is better than the actual March Madness is because this can't happen amongst basketball teams.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. Do you think people have this sort of passion talking about, like Duke versus Syracuse.

[Ed Larson]

They got money riding.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. Yeah. All right.

[Ed Larson]

Honestly, we want to say thank you to the various gambling apps that work here. You can actually submit a bet in for one of. For one of these for our March Madness right now.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

On your rocket money.

[Marcus Parks]

I think it's on. Better sleep.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. Better sleep.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

All right. So this is the last round in the prelims or prelims. But like the last round and the first round Eastern Conference difference. Oh, we've got al Gaeta, the 911 gator.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Oh, yeah.

[Ed Larson]

Trained by Al Gheda.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Killed the old man when he was expecting. At least on 9 11. That's right.

[Ed Larson]

Just a beautiful Tuesday.

[Henry Zebrowski]

But remember was shot in the head by a cop.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, that is true. And we have.

[Ed Larson]

Can be killed.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

Alligator. The 911 Gator versus Lorne Michaels.

[Ed Larson]

We shall see. Shall we? I don't know if he's ready for the main show or not. Actually take. I appreciate that. I guess we're. We really don't do puns anymore.

[Henry Zebrowski]

But I know that on 911 he saw that and immediately started producing instead.

[Ed Larson]

Of like, oh, yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Phased by 911.

[Ed Larson]

I can't wait for the sketch. This world's bar. One of my favorite days. 9 11. Because I got to get to work very easily.

[Marcus Parks]

So things that 4030 rock is actually.

[Ed Larson]

Quite far, far, quite far from the World Trade at a perfect distance for me to enjoy it from as a.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Now does he have his security team?

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, he has a phalanx of assistance.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. Phalanx, which would be how many. How many is in a phalanx?

[Ed Larson]

5. So when I saw him in real life, he was surrounded by five blonde ladies on phones and he did nothing.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. And isn't there always like a child who. Like a boy who follows him with popcorn corn?

[Ed Larson]

No, I wish I. I heard about that. I never saw that.

[Marcus Parks]

That is one. I think I remember reading that in the. Live at Live. The book. The oral history of Saturday Night Live.

[Ed Larson]

Yes.

[Marcus Parks]

Is that he quit smoking like many years ago and so now he like Constantly eats popcorn. And so there's somebody that's always around him that makes sure that there's never like a bowl of popcorn. It's kind of like Ronald Reagan with his jelly beans.

[Ed Larson]

That's another substantiated rumor about me. How many times people make up incredible things. I'm seven feet tall.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Well, if you remember, Al went for the man's terrier. And then the man got in the way and got killed and had his leg ripped off by Al Gaeda. Now the popcorn boy could be the thing that entices Al Gaeda to come out of the swamp.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

And go after the. The boy. And then Warren would be so upset that his popcorn boy is being attacked, he would then jump in to save his popcorn, not the boy. And then Al Ga. Could. Could rip his legs off.

[Ed Larson]

I'm just gonna say 12 foot alligator.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, he's a big alligator. And Lord Michaels is a dainty old man.

[Ed Larson]

Yes. For my own.

[Marcus Parks]

He's a television producer.

[Ed Larson]

Yes. Al Gaeta absolutely massacres Lord Michaels. He first, like obviously he stages it all to be like, let's see how he does in the test. And so they bring Al Gaeda. He's in the. In the waiting room for that 8H.

[Henry Zebrowski]

They're waiting.

[Ed Larson]

Two.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Two by fours slapping together.

[Ed Larson]

Lord Michael's been like, can he do an impression of Elon Musk? And then he goes. Al goes towards the stage. And then mean meanwhile, like Lord Michael, you know, cuz they don't laugh. Alada goes up there, he does a couple things he can't stand bombing.

[Marcus Parks]

No.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah. Oh, but. Or loves it.

[Ed Larson]

And then he just rips. He jumps off the stage through the writer staff onto Lord Michaels and beats and just absolutely decimates.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah. Lauren Michaels didn't do his homework. Tried to zigzag instead of just run straight.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

And I guess I should have seen his audition.

[Marcus Parks]

Now for the next round, does Al Gaeta merely kill Lorne Michaels or does he eat him alive? Because that's going to have a lot of bearing on how Al Gaeda does.

[Ed Larson]

He kills him.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Well, in the one he just ripped the guy's leg off. And then. See, the thing is with alligators, when they kill somebody, they put. They drag them under the water and they let them sit there under a rock until they get mushy. And then they come back and eat.

[Marcus Parks]

Gotcha.

[Ed Larson]

What if I'm already mushy? She.

[Marcus Parks]

I'm thinking that if there are the assistants around, Alade is going to get chased off. So Alade is not Going to. So Al Gate is still going to be hungry going into the next fight.

[Ed Larson]

Oh, yeah, he's ready to go.

[Henry Zebrowski]

But he will have Lauren's leg in his mouth.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, he ripped. He ripped him open.

[Marcus Parks]

He ripped.

[Ed Larson]

Lord opens and he's like, oh, no. I guess we'll have to see what the critics say.

[Marcus Parks]

All right, so that is moving on. So our Eastern Conference round two is going to be four Mars Attacks Aliens versus Joseph Fritzel on a Boston Dynamics dog. And Jan and the Larrikins versus a still hungry Al Gaeda. So let's move over to the Western Conference to see what our first round's going to be.

[Ed Larson]

Larrikins also hire Al Qaeda.

[Marcus Parks]

Hey, we gotta get to it. We'll get to it. We don't know what's gonna happen. We don't know what's gonna happen. Happen. So first round is Benicio Del Toro as the wolf man. Now, Henry has stipulations here.

[Ed Larson]

All right, so it's Benicio Del Toro. Now, what do we know from the Kruegersdorp murders and. And our crew over there is that he is absolutely in real life, a werewolf. But Benio del Toro is not fully aware of this. Our competition takes place. It kicks off right. We've been fighting for hours.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

So let's say we hit a kickoff at 3:30. Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

First fight. First fights at 3:30.

[Ed Larson]

Yes, that's right. So Benicio Del Toro is a wolf man.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

And it's about whether or not we get to the nighttime. Because if you're getting to the nighttime, you're going to be either fighting Benicio Del Toro, the actor, or him transformed into a werewolf.

[Marcus Parks]

I say two fights an hour. So right now we're at about 6:30pm.

[Ed Larson]

Ooh, it's about to turn. It depends on how long the fight is. Let's see who he's versus.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Right now, Full moon is March 14th. 13th.

[Ed Larson]

All right, well, let's see.

[Marcus Parks]

All right, today's March.

[Ed Larson]

What time does the moon rise? That's what we really have to look at is what time does the moon rise?

[Henry Zebrowski]

2:55Am well, that's what. It's at its Eastern standard time. That's the next full moon.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, yeah. I guess that's when it's fully full because it is a werewolf turn.

[Ed Larson]

Wow. When they moon is fully full.

[Marcus Parks]

The moon. The werewolf turns when the moon is fully full.

[Ed Larson]

It's not just that night.

[Marcus Parks]

No, it's the moon has to be fully full.

[Ed Larson]

All right, well, then he's Benicio Del Toro, the actor.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah. So 255 in the morning.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

He's not there. No. He would have made to the end of this bracket.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

We might have been able to say this if he was the very last card pulled.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

But fortunately, right now, as it stands, it's Benicio Del Toro in Wolfman.

[Henry Zebrowski]

But he's also pretty badass. He is.

[Marcus Parks]

He is. No, he is.

[Henry Zebrowski]

But actors go.

[Marcus Parks]

But that's the thing, is that Benicio Del Toro did enter into this tournament knowing that this could happen. He rolled the dice and he lost.

[Ed Larson]

He took the payout.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, he did take the payout.

[Ed Larson]

He took the money.

[Marcus Parks]

Well, let's see if it's his widow that's gonna get the money in the end. Because Benicio Del Toro is going up against. Ooh. Judge Doom. Judge Doom the villain and who framed Roger the Rabbit. When he killed your brother, he talked.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Just like.

[Marcus Parks]

Okay, my issues gotta open up my cold sore again.

[Ed Larson]

Oh, God, he's covered in blood. No. Judge Doom, in and of itself, he was good versus cartoons.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Right.

[Marcus Parks]

He's also good versus Eddie, though.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Remember, because he had all the extra weapons in the warehouse.

[Marcus Parks]

And remember, he's got. He's got. He's got springs in his feet. He's able. He's very intimidating.

[Ed Larson]

He is a cartoon.

[Marcus Parks]

He is a car. He's a tune.

[Ed Larson]

I forgot. He is a cartoon.

[Marcus Parks]

He's an actual tune.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah, that. That is the main wearing human skin, I think.

[Marcus Parks]

Yes, yes.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah. And does he have the weasels with him?

[Ed Larson]

No, no, no, no.

[Marcus Parks]

This is solo. This is solo.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

He's too strong because especially. Yeah. Because the only thing that technically kills him is turpentine.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Also, Dip would not affect Benicio Del Toro.

[Ed Larson]

No. Benicio Del Toro probably hasn't come with Dip.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. That's the thing. Is. Had to have known that Dip was. And that's things that nobody. No. None of these fighters know who they're. The rest of the people are.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. But I still think he wouldn't. He wouldn't have thought to come with Dip.

[Ed Larson]

Depending. Yeah. Because again, depends on who's there. It all depends on who your. Versus Benio Del Toro. Pretty as much assumed he was going to be a wolf man at the time we were going to do this.

[Marcus Parks]

He very much assumed. He was just. He's got confidence.

[Ed Larson]

Oh, yeah. And he's sitting there being like, oh, oh, no. Oh, no. My name got called too early.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

Supposed to be here already.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I'm still like, what, 5pm, 6pm it's about 6:37.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

We've already had four fights.

[Ed Larson]

I do think, unfortunately, Benicio Del Toro comes out. I think at first he does a couple. Like, he tries to do a couple of the boxing things that he learns from his personal trainer.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

So he comes. He's in the Wolf man outfit going.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Ah, he is strong.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, he is.

[Ed Larson]

But Judge dude unfortunately springs in on a bunch of. On his spring feet and shoots a sword out of his hand and fucking impales his face with it.

[Marcus Parks]

Unfortunately, actually, I don't even think Judge Doom needs to go all the way. I think Judge Doom can just beat him to death with his walking stick.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, probably. And he's just like, oh, no.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

Oh, oh.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I'm Benny Zelda Toro, the actor. Judge Doom's gonna be pretty hard to beat. Yeah, you're sick.

[Ed Larson]

Well, we'll see, because again, it's still just dip. And we don't quite know who would know, because we got some clever people.

[Henry Zebrowski]

He wasn't killed by dip, right? Oh, no, he was killed by dip because he was run over by the Steamroller and it didn't kill him.

[Marcus Parks]

Yes. Wow. Yeah. So, I mean, it's gonna take some cleverness to take care of Judge Doom. I'll say that. It's definitely gonna take some cleverness here.

[Ed Larson]

But we have some. We got the.

[Marcus Parks]

We get.

[Ed Larson]

We don't count some of these villains out yet.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, don't count them out.

[Ed Larson]

But Benisido Del Toro, the actor, her. So unfortunately slaughtered immediately. Slaughtered very, very quickly.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, yeah. All right, next up, we have next round. Yeah, I know you do. I do as well. But he's dead now.

[Ed Larson]

Yes.

[Marcus Parks]

Next up we have. Ooh, Tilikum the whale.

[Ed Larson]

See, this is why I chose Mudang strapped to the Boston Dynamic Dog, because I knew you were going to do Tilikum have to do Tilicum, but then you had to do. I was like, what's going to counter Tilco Tilikum?

[Henry Zebrowski]

Well, the thing is with Tilikum is he is bound to his tank.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

It depends on who he's going against.

[Ed Larson]

Because in order to do the fight, you have to agree to go into the tank.

[Marcus Parks]

Oh, of course. No, the. The there. We've set up these stipulations before.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

Where you do have to go to that environment.

[Ed Larson]

You have to fight him in the tank.

[Henry Zebrowski]

It's not like. I mean, because he's not like he's just rolling around on the ground, he could pretty. Probably do a pretty good job.

[Ed Larson]

But they won the coin flip. Yeah, that's why.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, yeah. Because otherwise it'd just be on the dirt. Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

And when Tilikum, you know, said heads, he threw. He threw a scalp into the ring.

[Ed Larson]

All right, Telecom, you win.

[Marcus Parks]

But whoever fights him does. They are depending on if they're water breathing or not. They will definitely get scuba equipment. They'll get.

[Ed Larson]

They have to fight them.

[Marcus Parks]

They have to go like they have to be equals. And that equal will be Luigi, man. Okay, I think. I think.

[Ed Larson]

Can we just do this once? All right. I know Telecom means a lot to everybody.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

But I don't. I think it's gonna take more than three bullets to take out Telecom.

[Ed Larson]

But let's just say for the sake of. For the sake of our country. Tilikum knows that this will be a symbolic death. And he knows how much this means to everybody that Luigi tried to take this all the way. You know what I like in a.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Way like this would truly make Luigi.

[Ed Larson]

A villain now because Til is killing men.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Well, Til was. You know, you could argue that's all self defense. If Luigi killed Til is guilty for.

[Ed Larson]

The same reason the Menendez brothers are guilty. They went overboard. Did not have to kill those people.

[Henry Zebrowski]

In that room stolen from his home.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. Every there is ways scraped in.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Oh my God. It's the same.

[Ed Larson]

Will not allow re litigation of telecom.

[Henry Zebrowski]

But if Luigi was doing what Luigi does he kill the owner of SeaWorld, not Telecom.

[Ed Larson]

Right now Luigi can't fight. Luigi has to fight the fights. He can fight.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, but that's the thing is this.

[Ed Larson]

Is the fight he needs to fight.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. If. Yeah, because if Luigi killed the owner of Sea World, that intellicum would eventually die. The whole thing would fall apart. But it would take a very long time for the entire app, the entire corporate apparatus to fall apart around the ears of Tilikum.

[Ed Larson]

We need lawyers.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, unfortunately. Yeah, we do need lawyers.

[Ed Larson]

I feel like Luigi Mangione in full his full like scuba fighting gear.

[Marcus Parks]

That's the thing. Here's what we know about Luigi Mangioni. Man knows how to prepare. Like the. The man knows going.

[Ed Larson]

And he's got money. So he's like Bruce Wayne.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. He's got money. He knows how to prepare. He knows how to go into a situation to win it.

[Ed Larson]

He's ready. And he's written on his harpoon gun. He has a harpoon gun.

[Henry Zebrowski]

He has a harpoon gun. Not a tiny little gun that's made from a 3D printer.

[Marcus Parks]

He doesn't. Because he prepares.

[Ed Larson]

Yes. And he written on it D Fin.

[Henry Zebrowski]

D Gill they don't have gills.

[Ed Larson]

D. Swim. It doesn't matter. He doesn't matter. He's here to kill. And he. He shoots Tilum directly, perfect shot into the center of its brain.

[Henry Zebrowski]

You don't think he's going to be enamored by the beauty of Til. He's going to look at him for two seconds and be like, oh, my God, what should I do? And then Tilum just grabs him by foot. He drowns him.

[Marcus Parks]

He plans.

[Ed Larson]

He thinks Til's a sellout for giving all of his free promo to SeaWorld.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

And Prisoner.

[Ed Larson]

He's a se. He's a sellout. A.

[Henry Zebrowski]

He's exactly who Luigi should be standing up for.

[Ed Larson]

No, he's got a show. Nobody's got to be taking any kind of dirty money from anybody.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I think if Luigi really wanted to beat Tilakomi, just unplug the filter.

[Ed Larson]

Shoot out the cage.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

But I. I do think that Luigi. Luigi prepares. Luigi knows how to get there. He knows how to get the job done, and Luigi does not hesitate. So I don't think that there would be any sort of. I don't think there would be any sort of distraction or anything like that. I think he pops in and just. Right in the brain.

[Ed Larson]

I don't think Til comes got the fight in him anymore.

[Henry Zebrowski]

What are you talking about? He's killed three.

[Ed Larson]

Maybe he understands that he's got to hold some accountability.

[Henry Zebrowski]

And he always gets you. That's. That's Tilikum's move. I'm cute. I'm adorable.

[Ed Larson]

Come on.

[Henry Zebrowski]

In the water, but not naked.

[Ed Larson]

But not when you're coming to kill him, though. You know what I mean?

[Henry Zebrowski]

But, you know, I'm telling you, he's very enamoring.

[Marcus Parks]

I know, I know.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I don't think. I don't think Luigi has it in him. I don't know what you guys are talking about here. I think Telecom is obviously a beast that cannot be defeated.

[Ed Larson]

I think you're fighting for Tilom because you have emotional attachments.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I have no emotional attachments.

[Ed Larson]

Well, no, I just think it would be a fun way to get that. I think it's a fun way for him to kill a whale.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, Just.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Just shooting it from outside the water. All right. I don't think you guys are correct, but I'm not. I'm outnumbered here.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

All right. Hell of a first bracket. Let's move on. Let's move on.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah. But we think Telecom wouldn't know he's coming. They. He also is in a fight.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, but I don't know those, I don't know what those SeaWorld like killer whales, what they're paying attention to really. It seems like it takes a while before they notice someone else gets in the water.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, it takes a while for them to get agitated to that point as well.

[Marcus Parks]

Well, yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Gears.

[Marcus Parks]

All right, so next up we have the biggest monster of the UK, Mr. Jimmy Savile.

[Ed Larson]

All right. Hey Alf, Jim will fix it.

[Henry Zebrowski]

That's right.

[Ed Larson]

He's gotta go pop on his knee.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Oh man.

[Ed Larson]

Better meeting up. Boom man.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Thank God he's not going against the Larrikins.

[Marcus Parks]

I actually feel like Christ, they're in a different bracket.

[Ed Larson]

They might beat the J. They might take him out.

[Henry Zebrowski]

They might fall in love with them.

[Ed Larson]

O. He is charming.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

Talk about the telecom effect.

[Marcus Parks]

And we have Jimmy Savile versus.

[Ed Larson]

It's like.

[Marcus Parks]

Versus like here it's Jimmy Savile. This was completely random. Jimmy Savile versus Diddy. Oh yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Wow.

[Marcus Parks]

Battle of the monsters.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Battle of the sexual predator.

[Ed Larson]

Different types, different tastes, different different taste.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Wow.

[Ed Larson]

I mean Jimmy Sable, obviously he's fun and definitely he's going to a Diddy party for sure. He's going to go to a freak off. Yeah, he's definitely going to a freak off.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah. Diddy has what will appeal to Jimmy Savile.

[Marcus Parks]

Cuz that. Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

That I can also see Jimmy Sav going like, oh yes, more money certainly does bring mo problems.

[Marcus Parks]

All right, say them all, say them all. No, well that's the thing is that Jimmy Savile was a monster of opportunity community. He of course was known across the the United Kingdom for years and years as a man of charity. And that's of course how he found many of his victims, you know, in spinal wards, mental hospitals and so on and so forth. In addition to various kids that were on Jim will fix It. But Diddy, I think Diddy's like that. He's. He's the spider with the web and Jimmy Sav's the fly because Jimmy Savile was Jamie Sav is the one that he goes to where the action is and Diddy has the action.

[Henry Zebrowski]

We don't know Diddy's kill count. We don't Diddy kill Britney Murphy.

[Ed Larson]

He killed Britney Murphy. He killed. I think he's going. He was going after Dick Van Djk. He kind of got his way. He got out of the way.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I love like Rex Howman. We were talking earlier. You're like allegedly and like Diddy, you're like, he killed Britney Murphy.

[Ed Larson]

We know who he Killed. He did a lot of.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

Who else did he do? Yeah, Tupac Shakur, Biggie Smalls, his ex wife. Yeah, his ex wife.

[Henry Zebrowski]

They were talking about her boyfriend. Yeah, yeah, Murphy's boyfriend, Bernie Mac.

[Ed Larson]

And Jimmy Savile's only ever dealt with children and kids are like, well, Jimmy.

[Marcus Parks]

Savile's more teenage girls. Young, young teenage girls. That was Jimmy Savile's. That was his taste.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, like P. Diddy, you know, let's.

[Marcus Parks]

Just say Savile's clever. That's, that's what he always said. It's always, always, it's better to be clever than smart.

[Ed Larson]

He also manhandled full grown men.

[Marcus Parks]

Did he, Jimmy?

[Ed Larson]

But did he Sexual assaulted. Full grown.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Allegedly.

[Marcus Parks]

Little known fact about Jimmy Savile, wrestler. And he is. He was a wrestler and he was in incredibly good shape his entire life.

[Ed Larson]

You know what's hard to wrestle?

[Henry Zebrowski]

A man covered in baby oil. Especially man covered in ghb. Baby oil gets you real sleepy.

[Ed Larson]

Like, I think that is the main issue is that you get the gh. That's the key here. Yeah, he's slathered with GHB baby oil, which makes him the, the truly someone to beat. Very difficult. Diddy's got the money, he's got. I do think he's got the upper body strength.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I think he's got more kills, he's got more people.

[Marcus Parks]

He's by far more violent. Because Jimmy Savile was not necessarily known to be violent. Jimmy Savile was a man of opportunity. He liked to pray on the week.

[Ed Larson]

I tell you what though, I'd pay for a front row ticket to that fight.

[Marcus Parks]

Oh my God.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Oh, yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

Oh my God.

[Ed Larson]

Except for you got to wear a ponch.

[Henry Zebrowski]

A white one.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. You get slo because you get sloshed with a lot of that sleepy time oil.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. But I, I think with this one, I, I think Diddy takes it.

[Ed Larson]

I think unfortunately, yeah, unfortunately. I actually think it's fortunately, you know, I think that Diddy's allowed to win here.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Hey, everybody, Ed Larson here from last podcast on the left. And, and today an interesting thing happened to me. I was leaving the house dressed head to toe in quints. Just. I got my matching maroon linen shirt and pants on. I have my quint sunglasses, even my quint underwear. You know what else I got? I got this cool little chain that I wear on my wrist that's also from Quince. And I'm looking at the mirror and I'm looking at myself and realizing I can't Leave the house like this. I'm a married man. I'm gonna get jumped by all the ladies, all the dudes, all the dogs just for looking like this. It's not a good idea. I mean, I look like a prince in my quince, if you know what I'm saying, man. Man, like I respect my wife so I only wear my quints at home so she can dunk her cookies cuz I love her. And you people out there in the streets, you see me in my ugly clothes. You don't see me in my Mongolian cashmere sweaters from $50. Or iconic 100% leather jackets that are sourced from safe, ethical and responsible manufacturing practices along with premium fabrics and ventures. I don't do that outside of the house. Cause I love you Julie. But you, you can do whatever you want. So indulge in affordable luxury. Go to quince.com last for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. That's Q-U-I-N-C-E.com last to get free shipping and 365 day return returns. Quince.com last you deserve it.

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[Marcus Parks]

Hey listeners. Marcus, Ed and Henry here. It's a little bit of an announcement.

[Henry Zebrowski]

You loving all the episodes of Last podcast on the Left lately? Well, listen, now you can get even more from us.

[Ed Larson]

Squeeze it out of us. If you want to hear new episodes ad free and unlock access to last podcast on the left seven days early. Subscribe to Sirius XM podcast plus on Apple Podcasts or visit siriusxm.compodcast plus to start your free trial today. Do it.

[Marcus Parks]

All right, so for the last the first round bracket of the Western Conference, we have. Oh, Keith Ranieri of Nexium. Yeah, of Nexium. And we've also got the Symbionese Liberation army coming in, so. So let's do Nexium versus the xsla.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah, Nexium versus csl.

[Ed Larson]

Oh my God, we already know who wins.

[Marcus Parks]

The SLA pumps these full of Bullets of guns.

[Ed Larson]

They got lots of, you know, creather, naray. They show up, right? The SLA rolls up, they're looking cool. They, they. They got all their guns. They're stupid. They got the.

[Henry Zebrowski]

None of them are black.

[Ed Larson]

None of them are black.

[Henry Zebrowski]

So they're not going to be able to convince the SLA to do anything we got.

[Ed Larson]

Exactly. Yeah. You know, they nexium. Ne. Nothing but Ali. What's her name? It's just skinny white women.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

Right. So they roll in. So first of all, like, it's. It's Keith Renee and all his skinny white women. And then you've got the SLA and.

[Marcus Parks]

They'Re also all rich as well, which is going to piss off the sla.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, this is very much the bourgeois.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

Right. These, like, these are moneyed people. First, Keith Ranieri's been like, can you guys even net? What? He brings out his volleyball, spins it on his finger like he's in, like. All right, let's see. Best two out of three. Whoever wins the volleyball match, that's who moves on in the game. Cut to.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

I think the SLA is going to give the volleyball game a chance.

[Ed Larson]

I think they're.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, I think they're going to try, I think, because they do have pride.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. What's his name again? The. The. The leader. The. Hey.

[Marcus Parks]

Oh, the. Oh, singing Q sing.

[Ed Larson]

You can see Sinq roll up to Keith or near being like, what's up, my man? What's going on? And they, you know, they do, like, he tries to teach him a high five back and forth. And here's the Ranieri. He can't.

[Marcus Parks]

Right?

[Ed Larson]

He can't at all. So then I think it's a flat flip flop flap poke in the eyes right through his little glasses. Smashes his glasses out. Right.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

Now Keith Ranieri can't see.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. But he still has to put. But he. But the SLA still makes him play volleyball.

[Ed Larson]

We're doing this. The old school away on the sand.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Oh, my God. So they're just gonna beat him at volleyball and then shoot him? Yeah, yeah, I think so. And they'll march all over him.

[Ed Larson]

Yep. They first beat him. And then. That's gotta be. That's gotta be such a blow for him.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

He freaks out as soon as he. He's like, you're not following the rules.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Now, how many of Keith Ranieri's white women become SLA members?

[Marcus Parks]

No.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. Ali Jones joins. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I feel like. Yeah. What's her name?

[Marcus Parks]

Okay. Yeah. The one that was in Battlestar Galactica or the one that was in Supergirl.

[Ed Larson]

Super Girl.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. Small town. Small girl. Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

Smallville.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Oh, yeah.

[Ed Larson]

Ali Mack joins. She's like. She's definitely the angriest one.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, yeah. Okay. So SLA picks up Ali Mack.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

That's awesome. She'd do so well with them.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, she really.

[Ed Larson]

That's who she should have found.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

Wow. So that's the last of the brackets.

[Marcus Parks]

That's the last of the brackets. And that's the thing. We have one. One final. We have a couple that did not make the tournament, unfortunately. Chad Daybell and Lori Valo did not make the tournament, unfortunately.

[Ed Larson]

They'll have to wait till next year.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Just too busy in prison.

[Marcus Parks]

That's it. All right, so now we are in the quarterfinals.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Wow.

[Marcus Parks]

The March Madness of murder and mayhem. Fourth annual. First up four Mars Attacks Aliens versus Joseph Fried Spritzel on Austin Dynamic Star.

[Ed Larson]

All right, now this is.

[Marcus Parks]

No.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Is he.

[Marcus Parks]

Is he riding it like a horse?

[Ed Larson]

Yes.

[Marcus Parks]

Okay.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

And he's not strapped on like Mudang was. He could control.

[Henry Zebrowski]

He might be laying on top of it.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

See, I could see him running circles with the Boston Dynamic Dog. Right. I could see him going around there and them not really knowing what's going on.

[Marcus Parks]

But here's also one stipulation I'm going to put in again. We've got four Mars Attacks Aliens. Marjorie Taylor Greene was such a beast that they used up every bit of plasma power they have, so they have.

[Ed Larson]

To fight him with his head.

[Marcus Parks]

So they. So from now on, the Mars Attacks Aliens are hand to hand combat.

[Henry Zebrowski]

All right, well, I will say one thing about the Mars Attacks Aliens. We saw them take out tanks. We saw them take out weaponry.

[Marcus Parks]

With weaponry.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah. But why would they have. No, why would they have no laser guns?

[Ed Larson]

Because there has to be a stipulation on them to fight.

[Marcus Parks]

Because they use it. Because they use it.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Then why did we give Joseph Fritzel a gun? And we're not going to give the. We never. We don't know of him having a gun ever.

[Marcus Parks]

No, we're. But that's the thing.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Mars Attacks Aliens are covered in laser guns.

[Marcus Parks]

But they started with the laser guns. But they used up all of their laser guns in fighting Marjorie Taylor Greene and killing Marjorie Taylor Greene. They're not infinite.

[Henry Zebrowski]

No, I don't believe that at all.

[Ed Larson]

Normally, I wouldn't. I would agree that they would have unlikely limited plasma firing ability. I just wonder whether or not like is if Joseph Ritzel. So I Think freedom bound. Well, I'll so freedom. Think about this. He's fresh out of jail.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

He hasn't had a daughter in 25 years. He doesn't want to die. Right. He wants to be able to go. His dream is to move back into a house with a basement that he has total control over. So he has motivation. The aliens say they don't have motivation.

[Marcus Parks]

Well, here's what I'm going to say is that I actually know a good amount about the Mars Attacks lore. I was obsessed with Mars Attacks when I was in junior high. But specifically I was obsessed with the cards. The card that, oh I remember the card that Mars Attacks was based on. But I was also obsessed. Topps comics had this incredible Mars Attacks series is like a five issue miniseries in which it actually had. It showed it from the perspective of the Mars Attacks aliens. The movie of course made them very goofy. But if we combine that with the tops Mars tax lore then we know that the Mars Attacks Aliens did have limited resources as they were invading the earth. And so if they do have limited resources, there was a lot of management going on of like where are we going to put all the aliens, where we're going to put all the UFOs. So that tells me that they do have limited resources, that their weapons are not infinite and that we are dealing with a situation where they would eventually run out of ammo. But as we said, what you get in the first round you can bring to the next round but you do not get anything extra after you enter the first round.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Well, we also said that Yosef Fritzel's out of bullets.

[Ed Larson]

Yes.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, he came in with one bullet.

[Henry Zebrowski]

And I'll say that I would that the Mars Attacks Aliens are way better with technology than Joseph Fritzel. And I think that they will be able to reprogram the. The Boston Dynamics dog.

[Ed Larson]

He just put us into a hole.

[Marcus Parks]

It's a very good idea. Yeah, it's a very good point. I can't argue with that.

[Ed Larson]

No. And Joseph Fritzel as much as we all again he has the just like Mudang, he has the inspiration and he wants to go. But I just think that if you take that power from him, his 90 year old legs not really going to be able to do it.

[Marcus Parks]

And if you remember, Josef Fritzel is a structural engineer, not an electrical engineer. So he's not going to have any idea what to do with that dog. But again, four Mars Attacks Aliens. I do think one Mars Attacks Alien might get trampled by the dog because they.

[Ed Larson]

That's the best bet.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, that's his best bet. Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

One Mars attacks himself so that he can be attacked by the dog while the other two jump on its back and redo its.

[Marcus Parks]

They. But then knock it off.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

But then unfortunately they do just knock it off and they just, just kind of. I think they use their massive glass like plexiglass heads and they just headbutt Joseph Fritzel over and over again until he's just mush.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

But now that they've reprogrammed it, what do we have now? We have three Mars attacks aliens with one Boston dynamic star, which is powerful.

[Ed Larson]

Honestly, this is a huge commercial for Boston Dynamics.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

And I really have been asking because I want one of these dogs. I want one real bad. I want one for the network.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. All right, so our next fight we have Yan and the Larans versus Still hungry Alea. And I'm thinking they kill the gal.

[Ed Larson]

They kill an alligator.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Unfortunately, I have to say Al Gaeda doesn't stand a chance against Alaricans because they fight crocodiles. We all know crocodiles are way more powerful than alligators. And so I think that this is a very easy win for the Unfortunately.

[Ed Larson]

And they now all have brand new alligator leather hats and gloves armor and they have teeth that they can use in their slingshots. So then they can take the alligator, rip it to pieces, use that to actually enhance their weaponry.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah. So I think that, yeah, this is a no brainer here.

[Marcus Parks]

It really is, unfortunately. Yeah. But this is a blowout. Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

Just seeing about 12 boys kick an alligator her to death again. I'd pay money to see that. Cuz that's how they fight. It's not. It's sort of. It's a swarm and they're coming from every angle and it's very difficult to get. And it's just in the. And then they're making fun of you too. That's also the worst part about lyrics.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

They're saying stuff about your weight, but your clothes, your pants, it's demoralizing.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Stop it.

[Ed Larson]

Stop bullying me.

[Marcus Parks]

Of course, Jan P's voice once again gets to a certain frequency. It can make your ears bleed.

[Ed Larson]

It does hurt you.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

And can maybe affect a Mars attack alien later on.

[Marcus Parks]

We'll see. We'll see what happens. Okay, so that is eastern. That's the eastern quarterfinals over and done with. Let's head over to the western. This first one, this is a really interesting fight. Judge Doom versus Luigi Mangione. Now if we remember Judge Doom, one of the Things that Judge Doom was about. What Judge Doom was more than anything else in this entire entire world. Judge Doom was a capitalist. Absolutely. That was his whole plan. His whole plan was to buy the fucking Red Line and to replace it. We'll see a freeway where you'll see motels, tire salons. My God, it'll be beautiful.

[Ed Larson]

Now let me tell you something. You're gonna get mad at that because I am the only little Italian avenger of all your friends, freedom and all of the pro.

[Henry Zebrowski]

That is a beautiful Baltimore accent.

[Marcus Parks]

My name's.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, like ar. Wel. My name's.

[Marcus Parks]

The name's Luigi. It's Baltimore. So hard.

[Henry Zebrowski]

No, you make.

[Ed Larson]

This is what an ass and sounds like.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I think since we did talk about how much he studies and prepares. I feel like he knows about the dip.

[Marcus Parks]

I feel like he knows about the dip.

[Henry Zebrowski]

And he could just have a water.

[Marcus Parks]

Gun and like, you know, he really can.

[Ed Larson]

I think that he has the dip. I think that he writes on the. Unfortunately, because he's a hack. He writes detune d. Scribble. The scribble on the side of the water gun filled with dip. He squirts it all over his fee. Bukakis it all over his face.

[Henry Zebrowski]

In a weird way, I think he's the only one that could be judged.

[Marcus Parks]

Dude, I think so too. I think he's the only one that could have taken him down.

[Ed Larson]

That was it. Because of the power of the proletariat itself.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Ed Larson]

Fueled by angry populace.

[Marcus Parks]

Oh, no. Judge Doom is like the. He's the capitalist of all capitalists.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Eliminate public transportation. A piece of shit.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. He's trying to not only eliminate public transportation, but he is willing to murder and kill the very soul of Joy the Tunes in order to do it.

[Ed Larson]

So.

[Marcus Parks]

And he's also a class trader because he's will. He himself is a tune.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. He's a self hating tune.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

He doesn't have a chance against Luigi.

[Marcus Parks]

He really doesn't. All right, so Luigi moves on to the semifinals.

[Ed Larson]

Finals. Yeah. Wow. Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, Dude.

[Ed Larson]

Good work, Luigi.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

And. Oh, this next one. This is a. This. This one's pretty interesting. This is Diddy versus the Symbionese Liberation Army.

[Ed Larson]

How do I say? Just their sheer fear of him. Oh, I think.

[Marcus Parks]

Sure.

[Ed Larson]

I think Diddy's own presence is so intimidating.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

To the sla. They so want to be cool with Diddy.

[Marcus Parks]

They do.

[Ed Larson]

They want to go to the party.

[Marcus Parks]

And Diddy's got a lot of cred, you know, and that's all they want.

[Ed Larson]

All they want is for Didd. Tell them that they like their. He likes their shoes.

[Henry Zebrowski]

They're gonna listen to anything he tells them to do. If he tells them to go drown in baby oil, they will do it.

[Marcus Parks]

Sure.

[Ed Larson]

Did he?

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. That is. If there's one thing that a white man wants above all else, it's for a black man to tell him that his shoes are cool. He'll do anything for that.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Nothing makes me happy.

[Marcus Parks]

Oh, my God. It happened to me on the train and new on the J train once in New York, I was on a high for a week.

[Ed Larson]

It's my favorite. It's the only reason why I wear those shoes.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Do you think that we could like, change the attitude of the entire if someone just told Trump is.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, yeah, I think so. I think we're there. You just don't have to go with fake laugh for a year.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. So, yeah, I, I, I think Diddy.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Did take them out pretty fast.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, yeah, I think so. Yeah. Because I don't like.

[Ed Larson]

Have you tried this new sports drink? They're like, wow, Diddy, what's that? It's called Sleepy Oil. Like, that's what he does. He shows them the new new sports drink that he's marketing from his Ciroc label and they're all so excited to be. And he sets up like a velvet rope and then he sets it all up like it's super exclusive hip hop party. And so they're so excited to go that he has the guys check in, they check in all their weaponry, just like you have to do at a hip hop party. And they all walk in and then he gives them all his special cocktail and they're all dead.

[Henry Zebrowski]

He is. Diddy loves a celebrity. So I think Patty Hearst might live if she continues how she acted with the sla.

[Marcus Parks]

But this is.

[Ed Larson]

Patty Hearst is out. Is out of the la. This is without Patty.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, yeah. For me, this has been. Yeah. Without Patty Hearst the entire time.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Oh, okay.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. But you know, you know who did he picks up though? Ali Mack.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Oh, yes, absolutely.

[Marcus Parks]

Oh, yes.

[Ed Larson]

Oh, yes.

[Marcus Parks]

One thing Ali Mack likes to do, it is collaborate.

[Ed Larson]

Oh, she does, she does.

[Henry Zebrowski]

So we're down to the final four.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, we're. This is the final four here. So this is incredible. So now this is. Oh, man, this is like Duke versus Gonzaga. Like three marsh attacks on aliens with a Boston dynamics dog versus Yan and the laran.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Wow. Now, and what's the other fight before we discuss this one?

[Marcus Parks]

And the other fight is Luigi Manioni vs. P. Diddy Jesus Christ.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I would have never thought that this is where this date would go.

[Ed Larson]

I know, I know.

[Marcus Parks]

This is last year.

[Henry Zebrowski]

It was Godzilla versus Xenomorph.

[Ed Larson]

Let's.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, let's do like, before we go that. Let's go. Last year's final four was on the Eastern Conference. We had Zenu, the Scientologist God versus the Xenomorph, you know, alien. And on the other side we had Godzilla, who was quite injured by 400 birds, versus killdozer possessed by Pazuzu.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

Wow.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Ed Larson]

What a colorful year that was.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

This year I feel like we're really getting it down to brass tacks, what the people want to hear.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. I feel like, because, I mean, it's been a long time since we've had a group versus a group in the final four, but I'm thinking that at the end of the the day, Yan and the Laricans might overtake the Mars attack 3 Mars attacks Aliens in the Boston Dynamic.

[Henry Zebrowski]

We don't think that the Mars Attacks Aliens and the Larans wouldn't be like, I love you, craziest super group of.

[Marcus Parks]

They really. God, they have love chaos so much. All of them love nothing more than chaos.

[Ed Larson]

But the Martians hate all humans. No matter what. They hate all humans. There's no way. Cuz you remember even in the movie, like, if you follow the lore right, they do kind of hint that they might go with the bad humans and then they blow them up too.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

So, like, they. I don't. I think in the end, unfortunately, they would. But Larkins are immune to lies.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Larkins are a Boston Dynamics dog.

[Marcus Parks]

But I think that there's no way the Mars Attacks Aliens can tell because all they do is go.

[Ed Larson]

But in terms of the idea that Larrikins know that even if the Martians pretend to sort of try to get them into the fold, Larkins are naturally distrustful.

[Marcus Parks]

Yes, they are.

[Ed Larson]

And so actually, I'm with Marcus. I think the reason why is youth, the power of youth. And how if you believe in yourself, what you can do.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, right.

[Ed Larson]

And how these little boys, they are armed to the teeth, they have no parents, they live in the jungle. They feel nothing.

[Henry Zebrowski]

They live in the outback.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, they feel nothing.

[Marcus Parks]

And at the end of the day, it's like I was saying with Yan P, the register of his voice, that high pitch.

[Ed Larson]

As soon as he learns how to sing, boom.

[Marcus Parks]

That all three Mars Attacks Aliens explode. The heads explode, just like in the movie.

[Henry Zebrowski]

But I think this dog is going to be Hard to take out. They just have rocks.

[Ed Larson]

But they could also they have tricks. And what you could do is you can get. You can trap up a boss of Dynamics with old fashioned especially like old school rope traps. Like you know like you, like you. You tap a thing down from a bend down tree. You like attach like a thing. You know how they do that? Where it lifts you up where the rope is attached to the. The super thin tree and it flips you up into the sky. I could see that.

[Henry Zebrowski]

To a Boston Dynamics, the dog takes out at least one or two of these.

[Ed Larson]

Sure. Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

I'm gonna say. I'm gonna say he takes out three.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. But Americans are. They multiply.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah. Because their boys just keep showing they are a swarm. It would literally be a cloud of dust with fists coming out.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, yeah. Like Heathcliff getting to a fight. Yeah. Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

I think we could do this. I think that the larrikins can beat the. The Martians.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Does Yan live?

[Marcus Parks]

Yes, yes, of course. Well, Jan's the one who delivers the coup de grace.

[Henry Zebrowski]

But while he does that, does the DOS Boston Dynamics dog just fucking rip his larynx out?

[Marcus Parks]

Nope. I think that the other larrikins take care of that. I think the other larrikins make sure that the Boston. Because remember they have one half goes.

[Ed Larson]

After the dog, the other half goes after the aliens. They also can naturally form really good like towers and piles as boys.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

But also remember they have attacks aliens, they have everything. They have everything that they gained from killing Al Gaeda.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. Remember they have all their stuff.

[Henry Zebrowski]

So they have wearing its skin.

[Ed Larson]

But it makes it more resistance to weaponry. I think that they can overpower the aliens cuz there's not as many aliens.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. It all depends on if the Boston Dynamics dog gets him down on the ground and stomps on them. Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

And starts ripping out their throats.

[Marcus Parks]

Well, it doesn't have mouth.

[Henry Zebrowski]

It doesn't?

[Marcus Parks]

No, no, no. It's just. It's just the Boston Dynamics dog. Its only power is in its legs and how much it can stamp's got.

[Henry Zebrowski]

To give this thing a robot mouth. What are we even doing here?

[Ed Larson]

That's what I've been asking for.

[Marcus Parks]

See, no head. No head.

[Ed Larson]

Oh yeah, you can attach a gun to it. But we decided not do that.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, yeah, we decided not to do that. But I think in the end of it, Yan and the Larkins take it.

[Henry Zebrowski]

All right, so we're talking seven Larkins and Yan.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, seven Larkins and Yan.

[Ed Larson]

Wow.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I would have never thought that the Larkins Would make it this far lar.

[Ed Larson]

Mean something to people.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, they really do.

[Ed Larson]

But they have. They have right now. Again it's like the Eagles last year. They just want it more.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. And just want it. And that's the thing is that the Larans never would have made it if Yan hadn't come on. Because Yan was the one that eventually saved him from the Mars attack. Aliens.

[Ed Larson]

Yes.

[Marcus Parks]

You never know. You never know what's going to happen on the last podcast on the left march madness of mayhem and murder.

[Ed Larson]

You never know when you're waiting for a hero when it's going to show up.

[Marcus Parks]

And there's. And there's a reason why this was the wild card edition. Because anything can happen. Ladies and gentlemen, anything can happen. Semi finals. On the other side we have Luigi Mangione versus P. Diddy. I don't think it's a competition of all at all. I don't think Luigi Mangioni is impressed by a single thing that Diddy has to say do. And I think Luigi Mangioni again shoots him in the back of the head.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Think that he's going to be able to get that close to Diddy? Did he have?

[Marcus Parks]

Well he has to. Well it's a fight.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Think about Brian Thompson is. Brian Thompson was a loner. He'd always go out by himself til a comb sitting there alone in the tank. Diddy has a crew at all times.

[Ed Larson]

But I will say Diddy is again he's a star fucker. So the reverse of the SLA where all the SLA are super enamored with Diddy and want to get. Get on his good kind of do whatever he wants. I could see Diddy originally sucking up the Luigi Mangioni and saying we should be friends because I think that you're super.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Luigi loves the attention.

[Ed Larson]

Exactly.

[Marcus Parks]

But that's the thing is that actually if you guys. I don't know if you guys know this but I think Luigi and Diddy are currently in the same prison. Like they're in the same. I think they're currently in the same jail. And I think I remember actually happ. I think I remember reading that Diddy is actually jealous of Luigi for how much attention Luigi is getting and Luigi is active attention. Luigi's trying to back off off a little bit. He's like could you stop, stop sending pictures. I don't need any more pictures.

[Ed Larson]

Like it eventually will poison the jury pool against him. He knows that. But then I think that Luigi. Yeah, they're both. Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah they're both. Yeah they're both dc, they're both in Brooklyn. Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I think there's a really solid chance that Diddy can take Luigi.

[Ed Larson]

See, I do think that if it was a one on one fight. Yes. Diddy could absolutely physically manhandle Luigi Mangioni. Absolutely. He's larger than him.

[Marcus Parks]

But we have established that Diddy that Luigi prepares, of course. And I think what, I think what Luigi's going to bring to this one. Landmines.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Landmines.

[Ed Larson]

Wow.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Why is that going to matter?

[Ed Larson]

Explosives.

[Marcus Parks]

That's going to take. That's going to take away the first wave of the Goons.

[Ed Larson]

Luigi Manioni is, has become the Batman of this competition.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, he really has.

[Ed Larson]

And in that way I do. And then because he has that ability, I would label him as such. But then also did he's got. Can Diddy call upon the ghost of Britney Murphy?

[Henry Zebrowski]

I think that if Luigi Manion their souls.

[Marcus Parks]

No, no, no. Yeah, once you, once you murder someone. Yeah, he's well did. He's not really into Satanism or anything like that. So. No, he's.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Are you ready for this? Luigi Mangioni. Handful of landmines. He's going to put them down. What's on the ground? Bunch of baby oil.

[Marcus Parks]

Whoops.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Slips. The landmines fly in the air.

[Marcus Parks]

Okay. Wow.

[Ed Larson]

I never. Cuz Diddy's got a lot of time to think.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, he does.

[Ed Larson]

He's in jail. And you know, I feel like we've been discounting in a way. Ah, wow. We've been discounting Diddy quite a bit.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Prolifically. Horrible.

[Ed Larson]

He was a. He was done.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, that is true. That is true. Yeah. I, I think.

[Ed Larson]

Wow.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

I didn't even think about it in terms of that.

[Marcus Parks]

The baby oil and. Yeah, because that's the thing.

[Ed Larson]

If anything, Luigi Mani could suffer from hubris.

[Marcus Parks]

This is Batman versus the Joker.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

Did he dress as the Joker?

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, they did. He did dress as the Joker and I think this might be the time that the Joker takes it.

[Ed Larson]

Wow.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, I think, I think you flipped it on me too.

[Ed Larson]

I'm sorry, ladies and gentlemen. I know that's going to be deeply unpopular.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, it's going to be really unpopular.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Because he's evil doesn't mean he can't win.

[Marcus Parks]

That's why I know that.

[Henry Zebrowski]

No, that's. Casey Affleck won an Oscar.

[Ed Larson]

That's what this is about.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Like what are we supposed to do here?

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, yeah. No, Casey Anthony's still out there hanging out.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Is that Joker?

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, the Joker looks great.

[Ed Larson]

Do you ever see the video of him harassing Tyler the Creator. No, that's the Joker.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Oh, my God.

[Ed Larson]

You could see Tyler creator. Tyler the Creator is like. So he's pulling out of some party, Diddy is dressed as the Joker, and he keeps trying to get him to come out of the car. And you can see this look on Tyler the Creator, where he's like, no, thank you. No, I don't want to go with you. I don't want to go.

[Henry Zebrowski]

He seems all tough, but he's actually a really nice guy.

[Ed Larson]

Tyler the Creator. Yeah, he's a very nice guy. He's a very. He's. He's in. But you see this thing where he's trying to get him to come out.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Oh, my God, he's got a gun.

[Ed Larson]

No, it's a fake gun. It looks real. Yes, it looks very real.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, yeah. It shouldn't be.

[Ed Larson]

He was in par.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Faced his neck.

[Ed Larson]

He stayed in character all night, apparently, and it was very frightening.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, Sounds extraordinarily frightening.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Terrifies me.

[Ed Larson]

That's what Luigi met Diddy as. Joker for Joker Fry Diddy.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So unfortunately, yeah, Diddy does take it. But this is a very. This is a very interesting.

[Ed Larson]

This is the longest fight we've had.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, yeah. But this is a very interesting final here, man. It is Diddy versus Jan and the Larrikin.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I mean, if anybody can woo these little larrikins, who's got fucking gallons of baby oil and people who are going to fuck these larrikins, why do I say kids have never had sex like this?

[Ed Larson]

But the larrikins, I think they love all crime, except for sexual assault.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, I would say that too.

[Ed Larson]

They're not sexual. The angel. I don't think they're sexual beings. They're too young. I think that they just like the freedom of the outback. They love you, don't they commit crime.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Show them a pair of titties and they're going to go, oh, my God, I bet you.

[Ed Larson]

But I also think boys would come too fast. And I think that.

[Henry Zebrowski]

And they go right to sleep.

[Ed Larson]

Dude, if you show.

[Marcus Parks]

They do.

[Ed Larson]

But I do think that if you showed a bunch of boys a pair of titties, right, like, let's say you called. What's her name over. You call Ice Te's wife Coco. Coco, let's say call Coco over. Huge titties showing them to larans. I think they come their pants immediately and yeah, at first you're like, wow. But then it's kind of over. And then once you've Come you don't care about anything.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Teddy's been manipulating young gang members his entire life. He like you like, he has this and like. And also he could just straight up like drug them up because we know Larrikins are going to do drugs and we know that. We know that Diddy has drugs and plenty of booze. Ciroc all around.

[Marcus Parks]

They like booze. But I think that the Larrikins are smart enough to know that they're going to. He's going to turn the tables on them. I think that they know that he's just luring them in like a Captain Hook. And I think that they can see past that and I think that they're is a somewhat. Somewhat of a code to the Larrikins.

[Ed Larson]

I do think that Larrikins stand just like Luigi Mangioni. They mostly stand for freedom.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. And I.

[Henry Zebrowski]

And they.

[Ed Larson]

They don't want. They don't want. They can. They don't trust a shady.

[Henry Zebrowski]

They're not going to become trafficked by Diddy.

[Marcus Parks]

I don't think so. Because I think that what Jan Pel. If you have Jan P. At the head of this Larrikin group, because what does Jan Pilgrim want? What is the only thing Leon Pilgrim wants to kill? Murder.

[Ed Larson]

Y.

[Marcus Parks]

And Diddy only murders when necessary. Murder's way too high profile for him. So I don't think that this is going to be their crowd. I don't think they're going to want in here at all.

[Ed Larson]

If the Larkins can take out the. As far as I'm concerned, the Laryns can take it out. The Mars attack aliens, they can take out Diddy.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

I think that if Diddy is really like. If you're going to fight all of these boys. The thing about boys, again, they just keep showing up and anybody can be a Larican. Can you just have to just give up living in society?

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Or as a child.

[Ed Larson]

Yes.

[Henry Zebrowski]

You can't be an old Laran and.

[Ed Larson]

You have to be a good. An old laran is a.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Is a bastard.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

A convict, a criminal. Many different things. Yeah. And I think at the end of the day, I think before Diddy even opens his mouth, I think a Laran hits him in the head with a slingshotted rock and he goes down and they just beat him to death.

[Henry Zebrowski]

You don't think he's. He doesn't have a gun on him at all times?

[Marcus Parks]

Times like he might have a gun. He might. But I think.

[Ed Larson]

But that we've just been using oil.

[Marcus Parks]

But that's the Thing is that Diddy by, you know, by the strategy that you put forth. Diddy's strategy is to try to bring the kids in. He's gonna try to manipulate them. Yeah. He's gonna smooth talk him. He's not going to come out with the gun. I think the larrikins get him in the head with the rock and that's really all you need, a well placed rock.

[Ed Larson]

As soon as they could they get their fill of dog, you know, like pigs in a blanket and the mimosas going around.

[Henry Zebrowski]

That's what they have at these parties. Yes. In a blanket.

[Ed Larson]

That' saying the little spinach triangles when they. When they all eat, when they are filled with the spinach triangles. They are then they've already served their purpose at the party. They've gotten the free food and the booze that they wanted. That's the only reason why they're there. They don't care about the women. They're sexless.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. And I think at the end of the day, after they kill Diddy, they take over his empire and they run it into the ground.

[Ed Larson]

Oh yeah, very. They spent all the money very quickly on pinball machines, a bunch of sour candy. The larrikins form the real one. That's it. Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

Americans form the real bad boy entertainment. And ladies and gentlemen, that was the fourth annual last podcast on the left, March Madness of murder and Mayhem Wild Card edition. One of the craziest tournaments we've ever had in the entirety of this tournament that we've been doing over the years. My God, that was a hell of a day. It was a hell of a night.

[Ed Larson]

We are we. I know we're gonna hear the end of it, but that's why we want you. Chai chime inside stories lpotlmail.com where did we get it right? Where did we get it wrong? And what next week? I mean next year when we do this again.

[Henry Zebrowski]

We are terrified of larrikins. I think is the one thing we've decided.

[Marcus Parks]

There's nothing this world that scares us more than 14 year old boys.

[Ed Larson]

All right? They are unpredictable and they are unstoppable because we can't do anything about about. About them.

[Marcus Parks]

All right?

[Ed Larson]

I can't hit them. I can't like you know, because if I was allow.

[Henry Zebrowski]

The thing is, you fight back against the Larkins, you go to jail.

[Ed Larson]

That's the thing is that like. Yeah, sure. A well placed strike of an SUV can kill a lot of larans.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Oh, admit he does have plenty of Escalades.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

If we want to. If we want to talk about this again.

[Ed Larson]

And you still think there's too many of them.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

Wow. This is just I of us.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. As do I.

[Ed Larson]

This is our best work.

[Marcus Parks]

Patreon.com lastpodcast on the left. If you want to see this and all of our episodes in video form, you can see absolutely on the video that every single one of our matchups were completely and totally random. Pulled it from this cup that I'm holding right here.

[Ed Larson]

Nothing fixed here.

[Marcus Parks]

Nothing fixed. You can also check us out at Last Podcast on the left on Tik Tok and Instagram and go check out all of our streams at Twitch, Twitch tv, lpntv, and don't forget to come see us on tour.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah, baby. We're gonna be in Detroit on April 18, and then we're gonna be after that, we're going to Toronto on May 3 and Atlanta on June 28. And then after that, we got a whole bunch of more shows about to be announced. So make sure you check that out. Also, come check me out. I'm in Florida right now. Let's hang out. I'm gonna be in Jacksonville on the 20th. I'm gonna be in Panama City City on the 21st and 22nd. And in Tallahassee with Danny Bedrosian of Parliament Funkadelic at the 926 Bar and Grill on March 23. You're not going to want to miss that. That's going to be an amazing show. Coming back to the old stomping grounds in the very room I started. Comedy.

[Ed Larson]

It's gonna be so much fun, man. And I can't wait to do we're gonna have Fun or Orlando and Fort Lauderdale.

[Henry Zebrowski]

That's right. 7th and 8th. We're gonna be in Fort Lauderdale, Dania beach for side stories. And on May 8th, we're going to be in Orlando at the Funny Bone.

[Marcus Parks]

Hell yeah. Everyone on Hell Geen.

[Ed Larson]

And make sure to remember, always fight for freedom.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah. Hail telecom. I'm doing it.

[Ed Larson]

You're awesome.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I miss him.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. I'm sorry.

[Ed Larson]

I'm sorry that had happened. That's the sound he made after Luigi Mangione showed his ass.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. Hey, listeners. Marcus Head and Henry here. A little bit of an announcement.

[Henry Zebrowski]

You loving all the episodes of Last Podcast on the Left lately. Well, listen, now you can get even more from us.

[Ed Larson]

Squeeze it out of us. If you want to hear new episodes ad free and unlock access to Last Podcast on the left seven days early. Subscribe to Sirius XM podcast plus on Apple Podcasts or visit siriusxm.compodcastplus to start your free trial today. Do it.