Side Stories: Amouranth Home Invasion

Summary

Last Podcast on the Left – Episode: Side Stories: Amouranth Home Invasion
Release Date: March 12, 2025
Host/Authors: The Last Podcast Network

---

Introduction to Side Stories

The episode kicks off with Henry Zebrowski welcoming listeners to "Side Stories," a segment dedicated to unraveling gripping and often bizarre tales that intertwine with current events.

---

Updates on SiriusXM Partnership

Marcus Perks announces a new contract with SiriusXM, ensuring that the core experience of "Last Podcast on the Left" remains unchanged for most listeners. However, subscribers to Stitcher Plus Premium can access episodes a week early. Marcus emphasizes:

“If you don’t want anything to change... it don’t gotta change at all.”
[03:03]

Ed Larson quips about maintaining the status quo:

“The Patreon doesn’t change. Nothing else changes.”
[04:20]

This update is portrayed humorously, highlighting the network's growth and commitment to improving the show while keeping loyal listeners satisfied.

---

Main Stories

1. The Mysterious Death of Betsy Arakawa and Gene Hackman

Henry and Ed delve into the puzzling circumstances surrounding Gene Hackman's death and the concurrent, mysterious death of Betsy Arakawa. Betsy's demise was linked to hantavirus, a rare and deadly rodent-borne disease. Key points include:

• Hantavirus Transmission:
  Betsy likely contracted the virus through exposure to rodent droppings or urine, a detail elucidated by Ed:

  “You can get this hantavirus... if you go into a room where mice have been pissing and shitting for like months.”
  [11:07]

• Gene Hackman's Condition:
  Following Betsy's death, Gene Hackman struggled with Alzheimer's and heart disease, leading to his eventual passing.

• Reflection on Mortality:
  Henry philosophizes on mortality and control, connecting it to societal fears and behaviors:

  “We all succumb to time, disease, and just being mortal.”
  [14:08]

This segment intertwines investigative intrigue with existential musings, providing a deep dive into real-life tragedies.

2. Ghost Adventures: Victoria Goodwin's Arrest

The hosts discuss the shocking arrest of Victoria Goodwin, wife of Ghost Adventures star Aaron Goodwin, who allegedly plotted to have her husband killed. Highlights include:

• Charges Filed:
  Victoria faces solicitation and conspiracy to commit murder, intending to eliminate Aaron.

• Modus Operandi:
  She attempted to hire an inmate from a Florida prison, offering $11,000 for the hit, as detailed by Henry:

  “She was trying to make one of the hosts of Ghost Adventures a ghost.”
  [21:57]

• Critical Commentary:
  The duo humorously critiques the feasibility and ethics of hiring hitmen, blending dark humor with commentary on criminal intents.

“$11,000 to kill a famous human being. So difficult.”
[36:28]

3. Amouranth Home Invasion

Amouranth, a prominent online personality, becomes the focus of a harrowing home invasion:

• The Attack:
  Three individuals broke into her home, physically assaulted her, and demanded access to her $20 million Bitcoin holdings.

• Her Response:
  Amouranth strategically involved her husband, who was armed, resulting in the assailants fleeing the scene after being shot at.

• Impact and Discussion:
  The hosts empathize with Amouranth and other victims who endure such traumatic experiences, while also pointing out the importance of personal security.

“Good luck to you, Amouranth. We hope that you're okay.”
[35:20]

4. Texas Rocket Man’s County Fair Mishap

Chachi Valencia, known as the Texas Rocket Man, encounters a dangerous mishap during a performance:

• The Incident:
  While being launched from a cannon at the Riverside County Fair, an unexpected gust of wind causes Chachi to miss the safety net, leading to serious injuries.

• Recovery Efforts:
  A GoFundMe page was set up to assist Chachi with medical bills and recovery expenses.

• Hosts' Reflection:
  Henry and Ed humorously discuss the risks involved in such a daring profession, while also expressing their support for Chachi’s comeback.

“We love you, Chachi.”
[66:02]

5. The Creepy Wedding Incident

A surreal and unsettling story unfolds when a groom is discovered breastfeeding from his mother just before the wedding ceremony:

• The Discovery:
  Bridesmaids find the groom in a closet, engaged in the disturbing act, leading to the cancellation of the wedding.

• Hosts’ Take:
  The duo jokes about the awkwardness and inappropriateness of such behavior occurring during a wedding, blending humor with shock.

“It's the most disgustingly intimate, uncomfortable thing I have secondhand experienced.”
[71:14]

---

Listener Interactions and Emails

Henry and Ed engage with listener emails, addressing topics ranging from victim advocates to personal anecdotes. They emphasize the importance of seeking professional legal and psychological support, countering misinformation with their trademark humor.

“A real victim's advocate is not going to blast you on social media. That is just not how it works.”
[68:34]

---

Upcoming Events and Promotions

The episode concludes with promotions for upcoming live shows and tours:

• Live Shows:

  • Ryman Auditorium, Nashville: March 14th
  • Huntsville and Detroit: March 16th and onwards
  • Florida Tour: March 20th to March 23rd, covering Jacksonville, Panama City Beach, Tallahassee, and more.

• Special Segments:
  They tease visiting NASA and discussing historical figures like Werner von Braun during their Huntsville segment.

• Humorous Promotions:
  The hosts playfully advertise their fictional products, such as "Butterfly Dudes Blue Eye Blend," blending satire with promotional content.

“Hail Satan.” / “Hail breastfeeding.”
[82:38]

This blend of informative updates and comedic elements encapsulates the unique flavor of "Last Podcast on the Left," ensuring listeners are both entertained and informed.

---

Notable Quotes

• Henry Zebrowski:

  "We all succumb to time, disease, and just being mortal."
  [14:08]

• Marcus Perks:

  "If you don’t want anything to change... it don’t gotta change at all."
  [03:03]

• Ed Larson:

  "We love you, Chachi."
  [66:02]

These excerpts highlight the hosts' blend of humor, empathy, and insightful commentary throughout the episode.

---

Conclusion

"Side Stories: Amouranth Home Invasion" offers a rich tapestry of dark humor, investigative intrigue, and candid discussions on unsettling topics. Henry Zebrowski and Ed Larson adeptly navigate through real-life horrors and bizarre incidents, engaging listeners with their unique storytelling approach while maintaining the show’s signature irreverent tone.

For those who haven’t tuned in yet, this episode provides a compelling glimpse into the world of "Last Podcast on the Left," promising both chilling tales and hearty laughs.

Transcript

[Henry Zebrowski]

Now you can get Disney and Hulu together for just $2.99 a month for four months. We sure would love that. Get both and watch Marvel's Daredevil, Born Again and Moana 2 on Disney. Can I get a Chihu on Hulu? Check out Good American Family and Paradise. Call it in now. Disney plus and Hulu together for just $2.99 a month. All of these and more. Streaming soon. New and returning subscribers 18 + only after four months. Plan auto renews at $10.99 a month until canceled offer ends. 3:30, 25 terms apply.

[Ed Larson]

Hello, Florida. Your favorite son and biggest baby are coming home to bring you the laughs you deserve. Everyone likes to poke fun of the Florida man. Everyone likes to use Florida as a punching bag whenever an alligator on meth eats an old person. That can happen anywhere. As a famous Floridian baby, I feel your pain. So that's why I'm coming home to. To let you know it's okay to be who you are. It's okay that the rest of America is scared of us. It's okay that books are illegal in our schools. It's okay whenever it gets cold, it rains. Iguanas. I'm here to support you. So come on out. March, I'll be in North Florida, and in May, I'll be in South Florida and Orlando. It's the Invasive Species Tour. Ed Larson, me is coming to Florida in March and May. I'm coming to Jacksonville, Panama City, Tallahassee, Marco Island, Dania Beach, Orlando and Key West. So lock up your public subs and start singing the Miami Dolphins fight song because we're gonna party like it's Florida, baby. [e-mail].

[Henry Zebrowski]

There'S no place to escape to.

[Ed Larson]

This is the last on the left side stories.

[Henry Zebrowski]

That's when the cannibalism started. Side stories. Yes, Side stories. Breaking news. We are here in the middle of the afternoon. Maybe if you don't have a job. We are here with our anchor, Marcus Perks.

[Marcus Perks]

Hey, side stories. Breaking news. How's everybody doing today? How are two of you doing today?

[Henry Zebrowski]

Fuck.

[Marcus Perks]

You okay?

[Ed Larson]

I'm good.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I'm fine. And I'm fine.

[Marcus Perks]

So the reason why I'm coming on the show today, I wanted to give you guys some news. We did sign a new contract with SiriusXM. And I'm just gonna tell you right now, if you don't want anything to change, you the listener. If you don't want anything to change about your experience, about last podcast on the left, it don't gotta change at all.

[Henry Zebrowski]

And that's the good news.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, that's really nice. So rare does someone say, if you don't want something to change, do nothing.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Do not nothing.

[Marcus Perks]

It's really nice to have that. But if you do want a little bit of a change from now on, if you get a Stitcher Plus Premium subscription, you can get the episode a week early. For example, if you want to listen to both Chad Dabell, Lori Valo Part 4 and our annual March Madness of Serial Killers this Friday, you can do that. But if you want to just wait until next week when the March Madness, the Serial Killers is going to come out anyway for free on the feed, then you can wait for that. So it's absolutely 100%, totally up to you. You know, it doesn't change anything about Side Stories.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Side Stories is the same.

[Marcus Perks]

Side Stories is the same. All the other shows in the network.

[Ed Larson]

Brighter side, staying the same. Oh, yeah, we can't change. We don't know how to.

[Henry Zebrowski]

They aren't allowed. They aren't allowed to change. But no, nothing else changes for you. It just so happens if you have a Stitcher Premium account, you will get the new Last Podcast on the Left main show a quote week early. But still, it is an evergreen show. So you're just gonna get the same show the next week. But that's what. But that's what's really incredible about capitalism, isn't it, Boy, you get the choice. Yeah, you get the choice.

[Ed Larson]

So if you sign up for Stitcher Premium this week, you'll get two episodes on Friday. And if not, your life doesn't change one bit.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yes, the Patreon doesn't change. Nothing else changes.

[Marcus Perks]

Exactly. And you know, the reason why we're doing this is because here at Last Podcast on the Left, you know, here at the Last Podcast network, we got a lot of big dreams, we've got a lot of big plans and we got a lot of people who work here. Like There are what, 15 employees now full time? Yes, here at Last Podcast network and the talent as well like that, that pops it up to about 30. And all of our employees, our full time employees, they all have health insurance. We make sure they have good health insurance. We make sure that these people are taken care of and we want to make sure that we keep our creatives happy and we want to make sure that we pay our creatives and we pay the. That actually do the shows here on the network and this is how it's done. So if, again, if you don't Want anything to change it don't got to change. And please, if you could just do.

[Henry Zebrowski]

One thread on the subreddit, just put in one post, and you just put them all there. You could put all the complaints there and the. And people be upset for a little while, but just know it's going to pass.

[Ed Larson]

And you know what?

[Henry Zebrowski]

I'll read it.

[Marcus Perks]

Yeah, he'll do it.

[Ed Larson]

I'll sit there like a dog that just ate a newspaper. And they'll just sit there and I'll be bad boy.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yep, I'm bad. I'm a bad boy. But no, this is also so that we can continue to work at the highest level possible, which is what we promised to do. If there's one thing that we have shown in the years of us doing this show is that we fucking put our money where our mouth is. The show is just gonna get better. This is what we do. We're working extremely hard.

[Ed Larson]

And not just that. If you do nothing and you keep your life exactly the same and keep listening to our show just the way you listen to it, there's gonna be an extra free show in a little while for you as well.

[Marcus Perks]

Yes. That we were asked to do last year.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Asked. That's a good term for it.

[Marcus Perks]

Last Update on the left. We're gonna be releasing that now for free for everybody on the main feed, starting here in a couple of weeks. Yep. So that's. Again, nothing changes for you. And you're gonna get a new show coming out every week. I think there's. How Many? We record 40 episodes of last Update. Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

And we also. Who knows, we have other shows that we were trying to work out, other new show, bigger streaming shows. We have a bunch of stuff in the kitty that we want to get done, and this is how we're gonna get it done.

[Ed Larson]

I'm putting out a sex tape, but it's by myself.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

Oh, okay. And I filmed it in the bathroom.

[Marcus Perks]

We call that an illegal masturbation video.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Marcus Perks]

That's evidence.

[Ed Larson]

Yes. Yeah. Yeah. And we'll get to a story like that on side Stories shortly.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah, you'll see. Yes.

[Marcus Perks]

And speaking of working hard and working our asses off, I gotta go finish this Chad daybell and Lori Val 4 script. Get the out of here so we can get this out and recorded before we go to Nashville this weekend. So we'll see y'all in Nashville. And thank you all so much for listening. Thank you so much for being fans of Last Podcast and Left. Thank you so much for being with us for so Long. This is the 15 year anniversary of last podcast network this year. So thank you guys so much for being with us through all these changes, all these different things that we've been doing. And we promise to keep doing it for a really long time because I'm having a blast.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah, we are. And we go. We gonna get you.

[Ed Larson]

It's easy to remember when the anniversary is because I had my hernia surgery right afterwards.

[Marcus Perks]

I know.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. So. So 15 years since I plugged that back out of my balls.

[Marcus Perks]

Okay, Goodbye, everybody. Have a good show, boys.

[Ed Larson]

Goodbye from your grave.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Welcome to side Stories. My name is Henry Zabrowski. I'm sitting here with Ed Larson and what an amazing announcement that was.

[Ed Larson]

Oh, my God.

[Henry Zebrowski]

And we are just so good at it. We're so good at messaging and we're so good at being true, man. Just business guys.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. How many more rings are you going to be able to buy with the new contract?

[Henry Zebrowski]

Like anal rings? I don't buy rings. I'm not into the rings. I think that rings are for people that either. Professional guitarists. You ever notice that with like the.

[Ed Larson]

Cowboy hat where the flaps come up the side?

[Henry Zebrowski]

I hate.

[Ed Larson]

Oh, I hate it.

[Henry Zebrowski]

But I don't like the Brett Michaels.

[Ed Larson]

Yes, that, that goes. That comes with rings.

[Henry Zebrowski]

It's the rings. It's something about like, I feel like if you play piano professionally or guitar professionally, that makes sense.

[Ed Larson]

Well, if you play piano or guitar professionally, won't the rings get in the way?

[Henry Zebrowski]

I don't know. I think about that all the time. But then you look at rock star guys and they always have crazy rings and crazy bracelets and they're always playing through it. And I guess they're just so used to playing and they're so used to people looking at their hands that they want the hands to look sexy. But I just don't understand because. No, we're looking at the fingers playing the guitar. We don't care about the rings. But these guys like rings. Jimi Hendrick isn't really like the biggest problem. You know who is?

[Ed Larson]

Well, he doesn't count.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Like, he doesn't count.

[Ed Larson]

Doesn't count. Like.

[Henry Zebrowski]

And Prince never did. You know who honestly is the bad one is?

[Ed Larson]

It's.

[Henry Zebrowski]

It's Slash.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, he's got lots of rings.

[Henry Zebrowski]

If you look at Slash, he's got like full on crushed Pepsi cans around his fingers at all times. And I do know that he. I mean, he's allowed.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

At Slash you can do whatever the hell he wants. I saw him at Disney World once.

[Ed Larson]

Really?

[Henry Zebrowski]

He Was a bit.

[Ed Larson]

Was he playing the Mad Hatter?

[Henry Zebrowski]

No. That would have cost a tremendous amount of money. No, I think that he was. He was there with this family and he had a bigger beer belly than I thought he did. And I was proud of him.

[Ed Larson]

Of course he's got a beer belly. You never knowing it for so long. All right, I love you, Flash.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Come on. I love him. I love Slash. I just like that he's. I just like that he's. He's brave enough to have a dad bot.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Now we have a couple of updates. Now, one of the things that happens here on side Stories often is we've talked about the side stories effect, which is we talk about a news story and either some massive update about it comes out the day after we record every single time. Now, last week, Eddie and I were very interested in the mysterious circumstances of Gene Hackman's death. Yes, it seemed kind of fishy. One of the dogs had died in the kennel in the closet. They found that Gene Hackman was. He was also dead, surrounded by pills. And again, very mysterious.

[Ed Larson]

She was surrounded by. Surrounded by pills, not him.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Either way, it was mysterious.

[Ed Larson]

It was very mysterious and it seemed.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Interesting and it seemed like it might.

[Ed Larson]

Have been murder, but actually it was so weird. It was just sad.

[Henry Zebrowski]

It was crushingly sad. The actual. What happened is what's going to happen to all of us if we're lucky it. So Betsy Arakawa, I guess somehow she got bit by a rodent or interacted.

[Ed Larson]

With a rodent disease.

[Henry Zebrowski]

They got hunter disease, you know, so you don't necessarily hunt a hunter virus.

[Ed Larson]

You basically, you can. It's almost. It can be airborne. Basically it's from rodent droppings or excess urine. And so like, if you like, even if you like, if. So if you go into a room where mice have been pissing and shitting for like months and you breathe it in too much, I don't know if that's exactly how it happened.

[Henry Zebrowski]

That's interesting. Clean it up.

[Ed Larson]

Up. You can get this hunter's disease, which I'd never heard of. So I was interested about it and I went and looked into it. Apparently if you're cleaning up lots of rat piss and rat. Use gloves. Oh, and have a ventilator and wear a mask.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah. Have a straight on ventilator.

[Ed Larson]

They said the house was clean, but they had lots of other, like sheds on the property. It was a big property and so she definitely got it somehow. It's very rare.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yes.

[Ed Larson]

Only 136 people have died of this in the last hundred years in New Mexico.

[Henry Zebrowski]

That's crazy.

[Ed Larson]

It's a very crazy. Crazy that it happened to her especially because, you know, they're not hoarders.

[Henry Zebrowski]

No.

[Ed Larson]

Like they said the house was looking fine.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yes.

[Ed Larson]

And so it's just like a crazy thing.

[Henry Zebrowski]

But her.

[Ed Larson]

So basically everything. We don't know exactly when she died.

[Henry Zebrowski]

But it seems at least a week before Gene Hackman died.

[Ed Larson]

Well, her. All of her communications stopped on February 11th. So like her last emails, her last phone calls were February 11th. So they say that might have been the day she died. But she was also driving around February 11th. She went to a couple stores. She might have been sick for a couple days and just away from her phone, we don't know.

[Henry Zebrowski]

They said that she was in CVS looking for medication. She was wearing a mask that day of her death or maybe her death. Probably her death.

[Ed Larson]

Probably.

[Henry Zebrowski]

And she was visibly sick and then they knew something was going on the next day when she did not pick up the. Her dog's prescription food, which is. We're all on the. Oh my God. This, this food, the dog food's getting more expensive as it is. You don't add Addivan to it.

[Ed Larson]

No. My. The. You should see the mountain of different foods for the. I have to change their food every meal.

[Henry Zebrowski]

No, I know, it's. You are a crazy. You. You are like a White House chef.

[Ed Larson]

Yes.

[Henry Zebrowski]

For your two dogs. But then it seems like that. So she died of this. Of hantavirus.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

And then.

[Ed Larson]

And the pills next to her were just her thyroid medicine. It's nothing you can really overdose on. So that they were able to rule that out because it looked like a suic. A murder suicide kind of.

[Henry Zebrowski]

That's what we were thought. We thought it was like interesting and, and almost cool.

[Ed Larson]

Right. But it' sad.

[Henry Zebrowski]

It was super sad. So then G. Hackman just putzed around the house and finally succumbed to his Alzheimer's and heart disease while inside the house. And so he.

[Ed Larson]

Week later.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah. So he just kind of puttered back and forth.

[Ed Larson]

So he probably found her dead and experienced that a couple times.

[Henry Zebrowski]

So like 50 last dates.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, that is. That is.

[Henry Zebrowski]

So you don't like that Rob Robin didn't like that joke. He didn't. No one like that. No one likes it. No one like everyone's upset with it even.

[Ed Larson]

I didn't laugh. I laugh at most things.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah, yeah. People don't like that. But it's cuz the reason why I think we should laugh now I'm laughing about how upset it is. But I think it's important to laugh because, you know, the reason why people that we dislike do what they do, especially right now, all of the weird despots and people that are fans of despots and people that want to be fascists and all this stuff. Do you understand that what they're fighting with all of their money and power and all these things that they're trying to build is exactly what happened to Gene Hackman. That's exactly going to happen to all of us, which is that we all succumb to time, disease, and just being mortal.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. And if you're lucky enough, you could do it at 95 in a giant mansion in New Mexico.

[Henry Zebrowski]

You can. Yeah. Beautiful house. These guys, they are fighting this. It's the feeling of dying like that that they don't understand is so essentially a part of your experience as a human being. And they are so afraid of it. They're so afraid. That's why they do everything that they do to control reality. Because on some level, I think some of these billionaires believe that they can control the flow of life itself and that everyone else is subject to these rules of mortality but them.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, but, you know, they'll all die. And I'll tell you what I feel. You know, Gene Hackman, great life, phenomenal actor. I think, honestly, it's a sad way to go out. I feel it is much worse for his wife because she was going to be around for a long time, but she got this. Got this random ass virus. You know, I'm glad that I don't have to rescind my hale. Gene Hackman, Yes.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. There's like a second there. We're like, hopefully he didn't kill her, because, I mean, can you imagine Jean Hackman, 95, with Alzheimer's doing the crimson tide, like that monologue at you? You shut the up. You mean like you doing that monologue at you? Man, that's got to be scary. I would not want to deal with that. Would that be my last memory of my famous husband, Gene Hackman?

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. So guess the update is it's over.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yep.

[Ed Larson]

It's all. It's all done.

[Henry Zebrowski]

And time is a steamroller that stops for no one.

[Ed Larson]

We get to keep loving Jean Hackman and his W. And that's good.

[Henry Zebrowski]

That's the best thing that they did.

[Ed Larson]

For us, the best part of it. He was a great man.

[Henry Zebrowski]

He was. I think it seems like he was at least a fine man, but a fantastic actor.

[Ed Larson]

But. Yeah, well, you. You know, I loved his political views. I love a liberal who fights. Yeah, we need to be really cool. Yeah, I always love that. And you know, go, go watch Mississippi Burning. I think it's very appropriate for right now.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Also, I find it funny. We did talk about this. Did we talk about that? We realized. Realized accidentally that Hoosiers is about rooting against the integrated team.

[Ed Larson]

Yes.

[Henry Zebrowski]

That's funny. Life catches up to you fast.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

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[Ed Larson]

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[Henry Zebrowski]

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[Ed Larson]

Okay.

[Henry Zebrowski]

And now this is. She's getting arrested now.

[Ed Larson]

All right, Is this. So are these the updates or this.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Is in the updates? I would put this within the updates, but it's this. It's a story in and of itself.

[Ed Larson]

Well, you better get on with it because I'm confused.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Ghost Adventures.

[Ed Larson]

Oh yeah. I didn't realize it's an update.

[Henry Zebrowski]

It is because I do remember we talk about it a while ago when it was more like rumors that there were some kind of animosity. She had been starting a bunch of like. What we now know is that Aaron Goodwin, who is one of the cast members of Ghost Adventures, Zach Bagans, you know, very famous nouveau warren world where he is the. He is the grand commander of all paranormal television. And Ghost Adventures kicked it all off the OG Ghost Bros. And this guy was saying, I guess his wife was Victoria Goodwin was starting to do like. There was like an online kerfuffle, I think. I don't Know if you remember this.

[Ed Larson]

I don't.

[Henry Zebrowski]

But now charges have finally hit the fucking Internet. It is crazy. So Ghost Adventure star Aaron Goodwin, his wife, Victoria Goodwin, has now been arrested officially after allegedly plotting to have him killed.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. She was booked on two charges. Solicitation to commit murder and conspiracy to commit murder. She was trying to make one of the hosts of Ghost Adventures a ghost. And honestly, he would have went. See, that's my problem with Ghost Adventures. What is the name? Because Ghost Adventures seems like it should be about a ghost on an adventure.

[Henry Zebrowski]

With the ghosts are an adventure. They're joining the ghosts adventures.

[Ed Larson]

Oh, they're joining the Ghost Adventures.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Actually, I don't know. I think Ghost Adventures was just the first thing that they had come up with back in the day. And now they're locked.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, see, I think Ghost Hunters makes more sense.

[Henry Zebrowski]

There is Ghost Hunter.

[Ed Larson]

I know there is Ghost Hunters. I'm just saying I think that makes more sense. It would have titled for a show that's like this.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Ghost Adventures. I think at the time sounded more positive.

[Ed Larson]

Yes. But now he almost went on his own ghost adventure.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Oh, he would have been a ghost. They would have adventured upon him. Yeah. And then he would have made money. And how jealous Zach was involved. He would have been so jealous if he became a ghost. That's all Zach wants to be. No, I think that apparently Zach's super surprised by this and the way it went down. Was that his wife. So. Victoria Goodwin. Oh, who's cute. You know, it's good. Normal wife. Whatever. Yeah. It seemed that she was. I'm gonna go on a lamb now. This is full on me extrapolating that she was seducing an inmate from prison that she was speaking with great deal. And eventually this is the person that they eventually offered. 11.5.

[Ed Larson]

Something like that. Yeah. Thousand.

[Henry Zebrowski]

$11,000 to kill this man. Kill a celebrity. To kill a celebrity. Which is, again, lowballing.

[Ed Larson]

I feel like 11,000 is low to kill anybody.

[Henry Zebrowski]

We've talked about this. I still think that the minimum is 25.

[Ed Larson]

I said 100. I can't believe 25 is a minimum. It should be more than a car to kill somebody.

[Henry Zebrowski]

The only reason why I think it's 25 is, and we talked a little bit about this, is that the economic bracket that most people are in looking for a hitman to kill their husband is normally medium to high. Like, it's normally in a middle to high, like, level. And So I think 25 is a gettable amount of cash. A lot of people that Are super rich. They don't. Can't get that money necessarily either. Either not liquid or what we found with a lot of rich people, they just do it themselves. Yeah, they just.

[Ed Larson]

I'll kill her.

[Henry Zebrowski]

You know, I mean we're like it. Why get a middleman involved?

[Ed Larson]

So they found her text with this. With this inmate in the Florida prison.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Cuz she deleted the texts on her own. But he was hiding the cell phone and they found it and they got all this evidence.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, they. They weren't even looking for this crime. But they found his phone. And these. And these messages were on the phone phone. One of them was from her saying am I a bad person because I chose to end his existence, not divorce.

[Henry Zebrowski]

That's what they said. And then he was just like no. And then he said I give you 2500 up front. Not enough. Always 50%.

[Ed Larson]

Yes.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Can't believe that. And she communicated with him. There was one point where she was trying to make it happen where she said to him, he's asleep right now in the hotel room. I need to know what's going on. Can I get an update? Was it done? Dude, just before. This is why you also don't understand as from specifically Lady Duman. Is that whatever you want to say about this is. I'm not. I mean this in the least in silly way possible is that the. The lady quite often has a lot of the strength when you go into divorce court.

[Ed Larson]

Yes.

[Henry Zebrowski]

And because he's the breadwinner technically and if you aren't making that money, you can take him him for as much money as the judge is going to give you. They're going to. They're going to probably give you the money. It is so much more advantageous for you money wise for you. Divorce.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Right. With men. I understand in a way you got to kill him.

[Ed Larson]

Yes, we'll do.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I mean you have to kill them.

[Ed Larson]

It's very. What I find interesting and I guess ironic about the entire thing is that they were married. Did you see this? They were married 2022 at the Haunted Mansion in Disneyland.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I mean why not? That's how much money's that?

[Ed Larson]

But the attic scene, Constance Hatch away. She kills all her husbands. It was there all along.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Interesting.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

So she's saying she's Kaiser. You're saying she's Kaiser Soze.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, it's. It's in the plot where they got married. It's very possible the bride kills her husbands.

[Henry Zebrowski]

But he was already doing that. And it's really sad because he's like A real wife guy too. He's taking lots of pictures of her.

[Ed Larson]

So ugly.

[Henry Zebrowski]

It's hard. This is three weeks ago. I know dude. There's a mini golfing they were men are golfing with and he post. He posted a picture of them mini golfing with the caption My Valentine always beats me at mini golf.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. Oh man.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Maybe he lost the bet. Yeah. I think that this is.

[Ed Larson]

She really didn't care happy in this picture.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah. Cuz it's.

[Ed Larson]

She does too. But I don't trust her. No, you should after you know cuz this is post trying to kill him. Yes, that's this. This picture is after she. Because this hit was discussed in what December?

[Henry Zebrowski]

Oh yeah. And then Aaron he basically he came forward and he said to TMZ he was blindsided. He thought he had a happy marriage. And that's got to be the worst of all because in the end you don't. She is already like think about how intense that is too. Where it's not like she's the sound guy. It's not like she's somebody some other professional like your booking agent.

[Ed Larson]

She may be. We don't know that.

[Henry Zebrowski]

We don' know but that's what she decided to do was to seduce an.

[Ed Larson]

Ex con all the way in Florida.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I know because maybe she felt like that would give her some to be on I think maybe give her some distance.

[Ed Larson]

How did she find that guy? Also he's not an ex con occurring. He was in jail.

[Henry Zebrowski]

She was going to get apparently he was going to get. It sounds like which I don't understand. It says inmate but then she says all this stuff like did you already do it? Blah blah blah.

[Ed Larson]

Which means well that he knows a guy who he sending ending.

[Henry Zebrowski]

How many people are involved here?

[Ed Larson]

I know she's obviously not good at it.

[Henry Zebrowski]

No no no, no. It didn't get done again you got to do it yourself guys.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

If you really want to murder, you can't trust all these people. These are cut out the middleman.

[Ed Larson]

We're looking at a picture of them kissing on some rocks. Push them off the rocks.

[Henry Zebrowski]

That's what they could have done right here.

[Ed Larson]

That's free.

[Henry Zebrowski]

We learned that that's totally for Although.

[Ed Larson]

There is a cameraman obviously.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Guess who you have to kill next.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Or guess who you get in on it.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Guess what. The inmate should have been dress as a photographer. This could have all been done ahead of time. The inmate could have been the fall guy. He could have set it up. You just go like I'm just gonna go over here a little bit. Do you have any idea that what would happen if you just show your men your breasts and then he's in the confused state of looking at breasts? You could just push him right off the cliff. Yeah, it's that easy. I'd also love immediately people keep people dot com. First comment. She's cute. First comment.

[Ed Larson]

That sounds like something you'd say. Yep. You know, but also, you know, if you wanted someone to kill this GU guy. Should have reached out to Hulu.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Should have reached out to Hulu.

[Ed Larson]

Hulu would love to get some marketing here.

[Henry Zebrowski]

They love hitman shows.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, they really do.

[Henry Zebrowski]

They really, really do. Now talk about this. We'll go into this other story because this kind of reminds me of this. Is that who they definitely shouldn't have hired is this group of chucklehead stooges that tried to rob Amaranth.

[Ed Larson]

Oh, my God.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Now Amaranth is a. I'm going to go ahead and call her a queen of the Internet. Yes, she is. People just say. I actually like when. The way that they talk about her on this and the story. They. They kind of minimize her as an only fans model.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Amaranth is a.

[Ed Larson]

But she is.

[Henry Zebrowski]

She is. But she is like kind of like a symbol in many ways. She's like the OG hardcore hot tub streamer. She flipped it all into a business she's dealt with with her, I believe her ex husband. She would. She was like held a prisoner. Amaranth has actually been through the ringer.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

And.

[Ed Larson]

But I will say 6.2 million followers.

[Henry Zebrowski]

She's huge. Amaranth is huge. This on Twitch. She games and she talks and you know, whatever you think about her, just know that she is technically an empire onto her own.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. And she's. She. I. I've never heard of her before this week. And I was, you know, I was researching and I got to say, she's. She's unattractive.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah. What a gross.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, I can't. I couldn't. I couldn't imagine why anybody would. Would. Would want to look at these videos.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Gross.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Get out of here. I'll go. But even ugos don't deserve to be robbed. Eddie.

[Ed Larson]

My wife listens.

[Henry Zebrowski]

No, they don't. They even just. But this lady. The one thing that Amaranth did. Incorrect. All right, let's get this out of here. Now. I'm just looking at.

[Ed Larson]

I can't look at these pictures.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Now. Amaranth is very attractive.

[Ed Larson]

Why did they do this to her?

[Henry Zebrowski]

Because. And this is the other thing that I want to say is she's a young person. A little bit more. She's younger than us. I want. She's 11 years younger. She's like 30. She didn't. She's not young enough.

[Ed Larson]

31 years old.

[Henry Zebrowski]

She's not young enough to have done this. But I will say this to people. You have to remind. You have to think about who you're saying things to on the Internet, even if you are this big. Especially if you are this big. So she said to her 6.5 million just on Twitch, that she was. Had amassed over $20 million in Bitcoin. Now these guys decided, which I guess is like, which is the saddest thing of all. It's probably not that difficult to find her. Yeah, that there's probably. She's probably been doxed multiple times already. It's probably not that far.

[Ed Larson]

She makes videos every day.

[Henry Zebrowski]

She does. And so they. So according to her, three men, mass men broke into her own home and pistol whipped her, hit her several times. And they said, you know, where is this money? We know that you have 20 million in Bitcoin.

[Ed Larson]

So they. Because we watched the video of her being attacked earlier or her being chased into her house, rather, now she.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Well, the way it works is, is that they came in, they. They first attacked her, they tied her up where they. They were gonna. And they sort of be in her. Then she said, if you want the money, my husband is the one that can give you access to it. Because this is also the silliest thing about bitcoin, as in order for them to steal it, they have to put a gun to her head, which is what they did, and basically say, you have to get on the Internet and you have to transfer your money to my account.

[Ed Larson]

Like you have to go like a literal paper trail.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yes.

[Ed Larson]

So they would have gotten caught.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Eddie, I'll never understand the fake money thing and how new fake money is better than the old fake money. I'll never understand, like, it. I don't know, because some people say, oh, it's actually a unique code. And then some people say, oh, you steal the code, you take. I have no idea how it works. I've had you guys explain crypto to me 90 times.

[Ed Larson]

I'd rather have less money than be involved.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I just couldn't give a fucking shit. I just couldn't give a shit. But she, like, was worth a lot of it. And so these guys are all fumbling, trying to figure out how to get the money. And eventually she says, My husband can give you access. So what you see in the video. So this video that came out on Law and Crime, you're watching them go from the front house to the back house. So Amaranth's leading the three robbers to the back house.

[Ed Larson]

Oh, that's her driveway, yo.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah, dude.

[Ed Larson]

That's her personal driveway.

[Henry Zebrowski]

That's her compound, man.

[Ed Larson]

She does really well for herself.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yes. And so they went to the back house, and as they're going.

[Ed Larson]

That's why there's dogs everywhere.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Oh, yes. It's a whole compound. That's why she. She has. I told you. You could see three custom cars. She's got an Escalade. She's got a custom G wagon. She's doing very well. And so they went the one in there where her husband was lying in wait with a gun. Now, the reason why he even knew what was going on, which is why I'm still kind of confused, was that Instead of calling 911 in the heat of the moment, she tweeted, I am getting robbed.

[Ed Larson]

Well, because she couldn't call 911 because they're standing over her, but she could probably tweet with her fucking eyes closed.

[Henry Zebrowski]

And that's what she said, is that she was doing it because they were trying to get her into her Bitcoin account. And she's like, I am. I am. I'm logging in. And she said with this. I mean, just shows we all need to work on our media literacy, including robbers. Is that they looked and they saw that. Didn't see that she was in her account. She was tweeting. And her husband saw the tweet.

[Ed Larson]

Yes.

[Henry Zebrowski]

In the back house, armed himself. She. And this is a couples need a plan like this.

[Ed Larson]

I mean, it seems like. I mean, they put themselves in a rough situation, but it seems like they were kind of ready.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Oh, yeah, yeah. She brought him to the back house, husband lit him up, shot one of the robbers, and they ran away. And so this shows. You got.

[Ed Larson]

But they can't catch the guys.

[Henry Zebrowski]

No. How.

[Ed Larson]

How are they not able to. They gave their Bitcoin account to her, right?

[Henry Zebrowski]

No, they were just trying to get. I think the goal was to have her log in. Then they take the phone.

[Ed Larson]

Oh, okay, okay.

[Henry Zebrowski]

But then she was like, oh, I can't.

[Ed Larson]

Oh. Oh, yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Very smart.

[Ed Larson]

Very smart.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I think she should shift it to real estate.

[Ed Larson]

No, I think that people should subscribe to her only fans and watch her videos.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I think that they do.

[Ed Larson]

Eddie and I don't need some more. If you have crypto I say give it to her.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I am going to say, Eddie, that while I do support Amouranth, she's doing very well.

[Ed Larson]

She want to buy her things.

[Henry Zebrowski]

People do. People buy her stuff all day. She is very well bought for. She is doing very, very well. But we just want to. Good luck to you, Amaranth. We hope that you're okay. Meg Turney, same thing. We had a friend, Meg Turney, that was also a model that went through the same. Got brutally robbed, tied up, beat horrible. She's another wonderful lady that did not deserve it.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. So you need an armed husband.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I honestly, I think that this is the. This is where we need Boston Dynamic Dogs.

[Ed Larson]

Oh, my God. Well, she has three dogs.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I know. They do nothing.

[Ed Larson]

They did nothing. They were. They're too good.

[Henry Zebrowski]

They were running back and forth. They were too cute.

[Ed Larson]

They were. They were actually just adorable.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yes. They were being too cute. They were not killing the robbers.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. Oh, yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Wow.

[Ed Larson]

This is wild.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yep.

[Ed Larson]

You know, but, you know, we'll find. I'm sure they'll find these guys eventually.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I mean, even if they don't, it's just knowing that you better be careful. You come for. All right. Cuz even though she might be a hot tub streamer, she might be packing. All right, well, there's some guys there's going to be. Because one guy's going to be packing.

[Ed Larson]

Oh, my God, I love this. So, all right, so we were talking about how it was a $11,000 for someone. For a hitman.

[Henry Zebrowski]

It's crazy, right? $11,000 to kill a famous human being.

[Ed Larson]

Yes. Like, legitimately has 20 seasons of television.

[Henry Zebrowski]

So difficult. And also she was arranging the head hit to be done on set.

[Ed Larson]

Yes.

[Henry Zebrowski]

So where there's cameras.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. Insane. But for 1,000 more.

[Henry Zebrowski]

$1,000 more dollars, you can be Gene.

[Ed Larson]

Simmons assistant for one day.

[Henry Zebrowski]

So Gene Simmons is doing a solo tour. This is the funniest concept I've ever heard. And so he put out this dumb. This. He put out this thing.

[Ed Larson]

But he's such a piece of.

[Henry Zebrowski]

What a. It's all like. So basically, it's roadie for a day.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

It's a special VIP package for his solo tour where you get to hang out and assist Jean Simmons.

[Ed Larson]

You're literally doing manual labor, setting up for the band show.

[Henry Zebrowski]

You were.

[Ed Larson]

You were going to sit in on soundcheck and arrive at the venue with the band and hang out backstage for 12,495.

[Henry Zebrowski]

That's so amazing. Tell a roadie if you know a roadie. Tell a Roadie. I asked them be like, are you happy about this?

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. How much do you get paid?

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah, yeah, exactly.

[Ed Larson]

Get 12,000 a day. A day? Yeah. Yeah. Gene Simmons.

[Henry Zebrowski]

To just watch you do it. That just made me laugh so much. It's such a fucking silly idea.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. According to the listing, the high roller will go home with a set list signed by Simmons and assigned rehearsal. Use used bass guitar.

[Henry Zebrowski]

That's. Well, well, rehearsal used bass guitar could be worth a couple thousand.

[Ed Larson]

I don't know.

[Henry Zebrowski]

A guitar is pretty expensive.

[Ed Larson]

I. The guitar itself, probably. Guitar.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah. One Gene Simmons guitar, it's probably itself worth, like, between 2 and $3,000.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, but where are you gonna sell it? At one of those fake autograph stores at the Mirage.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yep.

[Ed Larson]

You know.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yes.

[Ed Larson]

RIP Mirage. But last time I was there, I went into their autograph store because I love going to those stupid autograph stores. And they're all obviously fake, you know, but my favorite was I was walking around, and one of the autographs they had there was Leonardo da Vinci.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I remember. I know exactly what you're talking about. It's just like, wow. And you mentioned just you. Hey, who does that impress? Like, who does it make? Like, wet. I mean, like, as you can see right here, I have da Vinci's autograph. Like, you wait to line up. I got the VIP meet and greet with him.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I said, let me tell you a thing or two about, hell, helicopters, propellers. How about we go with propellers?

[Ed Larson]

Oh, man. Well, I really hope no one does this stupid Gene Simmons thing. He. All right, you know what?

[Henry Zebrowski]

If we do $15,000, you pay me, huh? You get to do the podcast. What am I for an episode if you pay me directly $15,000 that I.

[Ed Larson]

Still have to come to work.

[Henry Zebrowski]

No, I'm talking about the fans. Oh, the fans are talking to me.

[Ed Larson]

No, this is giving you money to do what I already do.

[Henry Zebrowski]

No, no, this is a VIP experience for last podcast and left listeners that I want you to say you directly Venmo me $15,000.

[Ed Larson]

And then they do the show with me.

[Henry Zebrowski]

They get to do the show?

[Ed Larson]

Yep, with me. So I have to carry the dead weight.

[Henry Zebrowski]

They car. No, they have to do me.

[Ed Larson]

They are you. Yeah, but they're guaranteed dead weight. And how much do I get?

[Henry Zebrowski]

Same.

[Ed Larson]

I get another 15 grand.

[Henry Zebrowski]

No, Sam, what you owe, always get your normal fees, your normal payment.

[Ed Larson]

Well, then it's not gonna work out. I won't show up.

[Henry Zebrowski]

You won't show up for the fan experience?

[Ed Larson]

No.

[Henry Zebrowski]

All right, $3,000 goes to you.

[Ed Larson]

Okay.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yep, done. The order, the deal, man.

[Ed Larson]

I tell you what, I've hung out with Gene Simmons before and he sucks.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah, I've heard. He's not a nice guy.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, he's, he's, he's shitty to be around. He's not funny, fun. I don't like him. His daughter's very nice. His daughter is very nice.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Really?

[Ed Larson]

Yes, yes.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah, no, it makes me sad because, I mean, obviously he was never, you know, he is the most capitalist rock star of all time. He is unabashed about it.

[Ed Larson]

You know who is great D. Snider. Complete delight.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Exonerated by time. Yeah, another one of those guys just.

[Ed Larson]

Like, just so much, so much fun. Just normal hanging out, you know.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Who else around you, you know, basically got exonerated by Time two is Sammy Hagar. Oh, yeah, he's completely neutral.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, no, no one cares, you know.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Like, you know, he doesn't have, like. Yeah, obviously he's got Cabo. Cabo Wabo is crushing it. But you don't really see too many problematic characters there.

[Ed Larson]

No.

[Henry Zebrowski]

You know, I mean, I kind of figured that like, and stuff would be there, you know what I mean? But no, just normal ass guys.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, he's fine.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yep. All right, go check it out. Go to see Cabo Wabo.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Sammy Hagar says he doesn't want to tour anymore. Yeah, he's seven. He's 74 years.

[Ed Larson]

He shouldn't tour anymore.

[Henry Zebrowski]

He has enough fun. He's enough to do with the restaurant right now.

[Ed Larson]

Come out. It's everything right now.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Just magic moment. Do it right here, now.

[Ed Larson]

So Lazio Falconer.

[Henry Zebrowski]

All right, all right. Now, Lazio is the name of the Italian soccer team, the Sierra A Club. Okay? So that's, that's a Lazio, which I believe. I don't know what that means, a.

[Ed Larson]

Term involved, but the statement read, s. S Lazio Spa. Shocked to see the photographic and video images of Mr. Juan Bernabe.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Now, Mr. Juan Bernabe, those of you that aren't aware he was the falconer for the Italian soccer team. One of these. So whatever. This lazy. All right. And so part of it, they have a. I guess one of their mascots is an eagle. Bald eagle that flies around.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. And this is in charge of the eagle.

[Henry Zebrowski]

His job is to walk the eagle. Now if you look at this man, first thing I say in my head is Senora Clean, because he looks like Mr. Clean. And we know he's super, super clean because his penis has been seen by many, many people now because he posted it. So he's why did he post it? Because he wanted to show off his absolutely imp. Impressive penile implant surgery.

[Ed Larson]

That's right.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Now they said that enough was enough. The company said they, they were really upset. The company who apologizes to the people of Italy. Watch him kiss. He's kissing the eagle with that mouth.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

The company is aware of the pain shared by all that the loss of the eagle in the next home games will cause the fans, but believes that it's not possible to be associated all of us, and especially with the historical symbol of the eagle with a subject with its initiative has made the continuation of the relationship inadmissible. That's a little bit roundabout way of saying they fired him because he put his penis on social media. Now he says that he didn't. He said that he posted his own personal penile implant picture to his own Facebook profile, which is public.

[Ed Larson]

It's a private profile, but it's public.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Because it's on the Internet. So what I. He posted this picture and somehow this amazing picture of his extremely well made.

[Ed Larson]

Close friends group on Instagram that I'm.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Like, we're not close friends, but it's kind of fun. I like to see. I'm like, oh, yeah, that's nice.

[Ed Larson]

It's nice that you think of me that way.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Oh, that's nice. But this guy, what I love about this guy is that he does not care in the most Italian way possible. He says, I put the video on my private profile. So it's a private thing. If people then circulate it, oh, what can I do? And so he literally is unaffected. He says, my conscience is a clear. I published it only to let people know about the circle surgery. They said, did you regret posting the images? He said, absolutely not. I have never regretted anything, let alone doing it for something that has a medical purpose. Right? So he says it need. He needs it. He said that his sexual desires were rampant. He said, this is again, this is to a reporter, guys. This is to an out loud source. This is to somebody who he knows is writing it down. Oh, my God. That's the picture. Picture, yes. Yeah, this is the picture.

[Ed Larson]

He's so happy.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Oh my God. This is why they fired him. That's why they fired him. Is because it's the single worst picture of a penal implant.

[Ed Larson]

The average cost of this, Henry, you would need to work for Gene Simmons twice to cover this. It goes up to $25,000. The single worst picture I have ever seen. He is.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Okay, let me try to describe this. He is his Face is beet red. He has a smiling ear to ear to ear. The way he's positioned is the most.

[Ed Larson]

So much pain.

[Henry Zebrowski]

He is just. He's got an obvious kind of bandage there. He's laying there like a corpse with a fully. Fully.

[Ed Larson]

He does look like a falconer, at least.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah, you say it before. Now it's got a third perch.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Motherfucker is so happy with how crystal hard his dick is.

[Ed Larson]

He's like making a self portrait.

[Henry Zebrowski]

All of the doctors are just like, you see easy. And you're all just. Well, they are just fine with it.

[Ed Larson]

People always get mad when I do this, but I always try to look at things from the, you know, the, the person's point of view. And, and if he assumes this is a private profile and he's sharing his new surgery is $25,000 surgery.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Who's on the closed one? You know, like, is his nieces on there? Is his nephews on there?

[Ed Larson]

We don't know.

[Henry Zebrowski]

It's also. I don't think that, that. Yes. I just think that. You know what it is? How do I say this?

[Ed Larson]

If I got a new dick, I'd show you.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Of course. Yeah. In person. We talked about this.

[Ed Larson]

I'd send you a pic. Check out my new dick.

[Henry Zebrowski]

One picture.

[Ed Larson]

Who this?

[Henry Zebrowski]

Okay, that's again, totally fine. New picture. If you send a picture privately to one person, he still posted it on a social media profile. Yes, he posted it for everyone. If you just sent it to me.

[Ed Larson]

But it was too. It was a private profile.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I have no problems with you sending me pictures of your new science built penis. It's just the smile on his face.

[Ed Larson]

It wasn't like the smile does kind of make it bad. But the thing is, he was harassing anybody. It's just like, check out this thing.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I did throw a towel on it.

[Ed Larson]

It's like a tattoo. Well, if you throw a towel on it, you can't show anybody.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah, you can. It'll look like a ghost.

[Ed Larson]

I don't know.

[Henry Zebrowski]

And then you. He says, here, I. I had the surgery to increase my sexual performance because I am a very active thief. I need to ejaculate whenever I have free time. This is direct quotes, people. Yeah, I wonder. For surgery, I had to be as good as I was when I was a young. My erection is a natural. But with this advice, I press a button that allows me to perfectly control both of the erection and the timing. So we can be erect at the grocery store. You can be erect at the dmv. He says, I would advise people to have a decent procedure because previously I relied daily, daily on the pills to increase my sexual potency. Being able to control my erection is a step forward for my life.

[Ed Larson]

I see it. Erectile dysfunction.

[Henry Zebrowski]

No, he's saying he needed it just to fuck more. He was just taking pills recreationally to keep his dick hard so that he could fuck multiple times.

[Ed Larson]

I hate when people call erectile dysfunction ED because it just spells my name Wink.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Sounds like a branding opportunity. Someone put the ED in erectile dysfunction. Being able to control my erection is a step forward to follow my life. When I have a free time, I always want to have a sex. I would like to do it at least once or twice a day. This guy's horny. This guy's horny. Horny. Horny. Horny. Horny to the point where he blew out his penis organs.

[Ed Larson]

I imagine a lot of ladies love him. I mean, he's a falconer at a soccer match, you know, in Europe. I. I imagine he's a sought after gentleman.

[Henry Zebrowski]

What is it about? I don't know.

[Ed Larson]

You don't think he is.

[Henry Zebrowski]

You know what it. He is. His whole thing is given RFK Jr. Oh, that.

[Ed Larson]

It's a back.

[Henry Zebrowski]

He's definitely. Yeah, it is.

[Ed Larson]

Look at that.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I appreciate. Don't you even make fun of that back. That's my goal back, man.

[Ed Larson]

That's impressive.

[Henry Zebrowski]

That's my goal.

[Ed Larson]

God, run a comb through it.

[Henry Zebrowski]

It's a very hairy back. I have an extreme. I have the same back. And it's a viral. As you tell.

[Ed Larson]

You don't have the same back.

[Henry Zebrowski]

No, but that is a virile man's back.

[Ed Larson]

Oh, it definitely is.

[Henry Zebrowski]

He needed to have a cyborg penis to keep up with his balls. And that is a picture of a bald eagle on the wall of his bed, his bedroom.

[Ed Larson]

He lives that eagle life.

[Henry Zebrowski]

He loves eagles. Can you hear. Can you see the translation there?

[Ed Larson]

What's the eagle doing now? Is it his? It's not his eagle.

[Henry Zebrowski]

It's the team's eagle traumatized. Good morning, everyone. Thank you very much for those who were with me yesterday at Casalina to give us a support, the friendship and the love. I thank you all within my heart that have a wonderful week. And surrounded by friends and family. He's always nude in this. Now all I can see is him naked with that absolutely massive erection.

[Ed Larson]

I'm very surprised that he even performs. I mean, it's Italy, though. Isn't everyone just naked?

[Henry Zebrowski]

Italy's actually a lot More not prudish, but it's prudish. It's a Catholic country. It's very religious.

[Ed Larson]

Italy, Fox more than any other country.

[Henry Zebrowski]

But it's a surprisingly conservative country. It has. It has a very large conservative streak. There is also the Catholic thing, which is massive there.

[Ed Larson]

All I know is we were on one boat in Italy and the guy who drove the boat tried to fuck both of our wives.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I mean, it's because also he runs the boat and he was just. Man, I'll always remember, remember the guy. All you do not need. We are alone on this boat. We do not need the bathing suits. Do you remember that? Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

He was like, his daughter is the only other person on the boat.

[Henry Zebrowski]

And he just. And he only directed that at Julie. Natalie.

[Ed Larson]

Yes. No, no. He would definitely just tell us.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Your wives do not need a bathing suits.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

This guy's horny, man.

[Ed Larson]

All right.

[Henry Zebrowski]

So, yeah, big ring. Big ring.

[Ed Larson]

But he probably got that. We kissed it.

[Henry Zebrowski]

He keeps kissing the eagle. He keeps kissing it.

[Ed Larson]

I don't know why he's kissing the eagle so much.

[Henry Zebrowski]

All I want. Oh, stop kissing.

[Ed Larson]

The eagle likes it.

[Henry Zebrowski]

It seems like, you know, what I am going to say is that it.

[Ed Larson]

Should be ripping his face off if.

[Henry Zebrowski]

The next piece of news comes looking at the camera.

[Ed Larson]

Like, what's this guy doing?

[Henry Zebrowski]

If he. This eagle, if he's been the Eagles, we're going to be talking. I mean, all right, because you know.

[Ed Larson]

Who'S the only person who's allowed to Eagles getting.

[Henry Zebrowski]

You know, the one who is allowed to the Eagles? Glenn Fry.

[Ed Larson]

O, he's gone.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Rest in peace. Mad. Got his ass.

[Ed Larson]

I saw the Eagles after Glenn Fry died and they had Bob Seager sit in for his section, which was pretty awesome. That's pretty good. It was like an upgrade.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah. I mean, it was like I didn't want.

[Ed Larson]

I didn't want to say I was happy he was dead, but it was a. It was a nice coincidence.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Weren't complaining, actually. Now that you're dead, I actually can see a lot of great options rise from your grand. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Think about your favorite leaders, mentors and idols. They don't have all the answers, but they do know when to ask questions or seek support from their community. In a society that glorifies hyper independence, it's easy to forget that we're all better when we have a support system behind us. Much like how I felt so sad the other day. I went to the store, was an ice cream store to get a scoop of Mint chocolate chip ice cream. And. And it was the only thing that really could have settled me that day. I was so upset. The news, politics, the fires. My shoe hurt. I went to get that scoop of ice cream and they're out of mint chocolate chip. So I went to my friend and I asked him for help and he said, here. And he handed me a bazooka and I went back to that ice cream shop and I felt better ever since. And it's the kind of stuff that when you need a reach out, that's the kind of thing that BetterHelp can provide. Better Help is fully online, making therapy affordable and convenient, serving over 5 million people worldwide. Access a diverse network of more than 30,000 credentialed therapists with a wide range of specialties. Or you can just talk to my friend with the bazooka. Build your support system with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com lastpod to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp. H E L p.com/lastpod.

[Ed Larson]

All right, so this story, this next one, now it's not the story itself isn't that interesting, but I had some questions about it and maybe people can get back to us and let us know what they think. Side stories lpotlgmail.com so a suspect in a Florida jewelry theft, this happened In Orlando, swallows $770,000 worth of Tiffany earrings just before his arrest.

[Henry Zebrowski]

And I, we don't recommend tremendous.

[Ed Larson]

No, the. He got caught. He said, am I going to get in trouble for what's inside my body? Is one of the quotes that he had. And then they x rayed him and found out for sure that he has the earrings in the middle of his body.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

And so now he has to pass the earrings so they can give it back to Tiffany and company.

[Henry Zebrowski]

And what we want to know is side stories. Lpotl gmail number one from our medical community.

[Ed Larson]

He also this. He looks pretty muscular.

[Henry Zebrowski]

He was quite, quite fit. Is that, I wonder, will these even come out of him?

[Ed Larson]

Yes. And if they do and they do go back to Tiffany's, will they be at a discounted rate?

[Henry Zebrowski]

I'll tell you right now, David went.

[Ed Larson]

Through a human shit River.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I'm going to do this right now. Tiffany's. I'll take them off your hands. Five grand.

[Ed Larson]

Five grand?

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah. Take off. You take them off your hands. All right. You got. People don't want them. Poo poo died.

[Ed Larson]

Tiffany's.

[Henry Zebrowski]

10 grand, you go, whoa, hey, we're in a b. More.

[Ed Larson]

10 grand.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Hey man, people don't come against me, man.

[Ed Larson]

No, I'm not coming against you. I just want to buy Julie something nice.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah, but then, but I'm never going.

[Ed Larson]

To spend more than 10 grand on earrings, so I might as well get really nice ones for her.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah, but I don't know if cuz I'm willing to go up to 12.

[Ed Larson]

Are you willing to go up to 12 or are you going up to 12?

[Henry Zebrowski]

We'll see what happens.

[Ed Larson]

Well, I mean, tell Tiffany's. Right.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I'm going to wait till the very end of the auction.

[Ed Larson]

Oh well, the auction, it's closed for 10.

[Henry Zebrowski]

What the. You give me the money. No, I do want to know. I feel like we should be people to get a discount. These are poo poo diamonds. These are poo poo diamonds. You don't mean to tell me because like no matter what you do, when you give these poo poo diamonds to whoever you love, it's got to be.

[Ed Larson]

Less than half a mil when you're 770. Now when they resell these diamonds, 15 grand. Now what if he dies? What if he dies? Because, because if you swallow a tooth, you can cut up your esophagus and you could die.

[Henry Zebrowski]

To be honest, I think that if he dies it pushes it up.

[Ed Larson]

You think it makes it more expensive?

[Henry Zebrowski]

Oh yeah.

[Ed Larson]

No, but like do they go in him and cut these earrings out and then give them back to Tiffany's or is he buried with them?

[Henry Zebrowski]

If I was Tiffany, I would do. Exactly.

[Ed Larson]

I don't know if Tiffany's is allowed to say whether or not this is a legal ground here.

[Henry Zebrowski]

You don't think that Tiffany's doesn't have like a contingency plan for this or like a moral morgue? There's no way that there's not a Tiffany's morgue, you know, all in that like blue color, whatever they do. Yeah, that Tiffany blue. I, I, this is actually, I do think that while this is a silly.

[Ed Larson]

Question, he could easily die. The back of these earrings could rip up his intestines.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Like what?

[Ed Larson]

This man can get sepsis and die.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Talk about blood diamonds. Seriously? Yes, exactly. Blood and stool diamonds. Now I wonder if you For Tiffany. Tiffany's there. This, it's not that this hasn't happened before, but I don't think that they.

[Ed Larson]

I've never heard of it.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I, I don't know, I don't know if you'd leave behind. I don't know what Tiffany's rules would be like. I wonder if for insurance Purposes if they would just cut him open and take the, the things out of him. I also truly do believe that if they kill him, I think they get it out with him not dying.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. They want him to just pass it. He's in a bucket currently.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah. Which.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, not even lucky bucket. The. But no, he, yeah, no, they're not even letting him use the toilet. He's got to use. He's got, you know, so I mean.

[Henry Zebrowski]

No, because all they're waiting for is jingle, jingle, jingle. Think about that all day long. You're just waiting for the.

[Ed Larson]

What if he immediately swallows a mechanic?

[Henry Zebrowski]

Oh, that's what I do. What are you going to do now?

[Ed Larson]

Oh my God.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Well, here. But I wonder if Tiffany's like if he does, if it passes all the way through him. I think that honestly the real answer will see if if this is correct or not. I think the real answer will be they would harvest the diamonds from it and they would melt down the metal and they would remake them into other earrings.

[Ed Larson]

But the diamonds themselves, covered in still were covered in at one point.

[Henry Zebrowski]

But I think if you wipe them off with a couple of easy wipes and then you throw them in a batch of a bunch of other diamonds, you wouldn't even know.

[Ed Larson]

You don't think that it lowers the price at least, least 30 grand?

[Henry Zebrowski]

I, I, for me, as the man trying to purchase the boo boo diamonds.

[Ed Larson]

Yes. Yeah, I don't think anyone buys these for the $770,000 that they're trying to sell them for.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I don't think so. Unless again, they make them all the way through because then that shows how resilient they are. Yeah, well, I mean, I think they kill them. It goes, the price goes up.

[Ed Larson]

You think if it kills them, it goes up.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I would, I'd pay. Because then think about the true crime. People that love money and have money. Like, you know, that concept of these earrings killed a man that are on the the lobes of a woman. How does that not make you women wet? Is crazy.

[Ed Larson]

Zach Faggins, I'm looking at you, but think about that.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I feel like you guys would like, I think ladies would like especially these days. They'd be like, yeah, my earrings have a death count. You know, I mean, like, I think.

[Ed Larson]

All diamonds of a death count.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Well, I like the lab ones because they're just easy to do. And also, again, I don't think cheaper. I don't think a diamond's even worth it unless it comes from the hands of a child.

[Ed Larson]

It's a great point.

[Henry Zebrowski]

And that's reason why we. We do. But we do work with Blue Nile because they know better.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. And if you guys want, we're going to be selling last podcast on a left diamond soon.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yes.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. As an upgrade to the stitcher premium plan.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yes. I'm going to be choking them down and shooting them out so that you can have them. But the only way you get to have them is you keep the shed on them.

[Ed Larson]

They call them a pubic zone Y.

[Henry Zebrowski]

But I love to find out. Is he gonna live?

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, he definitely can die. We have one last story for you all today, and that is the Texas rocket man is recovering after a county fair mishap. This happened close to us.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yes. This was in Indio. This is the Riverside fair.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. The rocket Man, Chachi Valencia. Great name, great shot, especially for a rocket man. Chachi is kind of the best name for a rocket man.

[Henry Zebrowski]

But tell me about this. Let's. All right, so this is a little. This might get. Some people might get a little maybe upset about this. But I. I'm not saying that this is because he's an inessential worker. I'm just curious. Now, Chachi Valencia, his job is. His whole life is to be shot out of a cannon.

[Ed Larson]

Yes.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Now, he's done this several times, but he did this over the weekend. Now, he up this weekend by shooting himself out of a cannon. And I guess he. He misjudged the wind. So if you see the video of him doing it, it's. It's like it. You could definitely see it hurts. He hits the edge of the net, bounces up, spins around, slams down onto his body. Right. He falls down, he crushes a bunch.

[Ed Larson]

Of bones, did hit the net for a second.

[Henry Zebrowski]

He lived. Now, obviously, he's very resilient. This is a tough man that's been doing this for. He does this for a living.

[Ed Larson]

I don't think there's any way this is the first time he's fell.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Well, he's had a couple mishaps. He's had to get a couple knee or misses. But the one thing I do find curious. Now, tell me about this. I don't mean this to sound cutthroat here, but there is a gofundme being set up to help. To help Chachi Valencia get money to recuperate so that he's. Because all the money he's going to lose not being able to get shot out of a cannon for the next several months. Yes, but I.

[Ed Larson]

Medical bills.

[Henry Zebrowski]

But how do I Say yes.

[Ed Larson]

Yes.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Like obviously go. Like. It's really sad that we're in this place. People need these GoFundMes. We need.

[Ed Larson]

I don't think this man has insurance.

[Henry Zebrowski]

No, but there's. Because who would insure the Rocket Man?

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

But I wonder. Is this. Maybe not. Maybe not Mother Nature herself telling you to slow down. Chachi.

[Ed Larson]

Maybe.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Chachi. It's time for the Rocket man to come down to Earth. And then maybe if you're making little things like this next time, Chachi, it might not be a near miss. It might be a full on. You get shot into a cavern. You get shot into a gulch.

[Ed Larson]

It was a sudden unexpected gust of wind. It is. He is the Texas Rocket Man. And this happened in California. We know about the winds we had. The fires we get. It pops up. Especially in Riverside.

[Henry Zebrowski]

But you can look it up online. Windmills. I think you got to check with a unexpected gust. I know, but you gotta. You gotta figure out how to be.

[Ed Larson]

Pretty strong to push a human body.

[Henry Zebrowski]

It must have been. It was enough.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Unless there was somebody trying to kill the Rocket Man. We're.

[Ed Larson]

This is from the GoFundMe page. We're reaching out with some difficult news about Chachi, the incredible human cannibal artist known as the Rocket Man. Valencia. Recently at the Riverside County Fair and National Date Festival. Oh, the. The food.

[Henry Zebrowski]

The food.

[Ed Larson]

Okay. All right. Good. Because the date festival in Riverside seems.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Like it could get rough.

[Ed Larson]

A sudden and unexpected Gustav of wind tragically altered his performance during his act. A strong gust of wind caught him midair causing him to miss the safety net. He struck the side of the net. It catapulted him out and unfortunately landed on the asphalt.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Oh yeah. He got jacked up.

[Ed Larson]

Now, I know there's a net there, but why not have some pads down also?

[Henry Zebrowski]

Because that's not nearly as impressive. Eddie.

[Ed Larson]

It is. I don't think anyone would notice.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I would. You.

[Ed Larson]

Would you?

[Henry Zebrowski]

First thing I'd say is pussy.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

What a pussy. Oh. He needs more than. Than a net.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. Chachi is dedicated performer who brings joy and excitement to audiences. A breathtaking marvel and skill and daring his death defying stunt as electrified crowds at the London Olympics closing ceremony. That's pretty awesome.

[Henry Zebrowski]

That's pretty big.

[Ed Larson]

NASCAR and Formula one events and the secret weapon in Rio de Janeiro's Carnival competition.

[Henry Zebrowski]

It is wild, man. To have that life. Think about that. That. That's what you do.

[Ed Larson]

You travel the world getting shot out of a. It's just a matter of time.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Oh, of course.

[Ed Larson]

If this is your job job, you're gonna have a bad day at work at some point, don't you?

[Henry Zebrowski]

Kinda. If you have to prep for this.

[Ed Larson]

Right.

[Henry Zebrowski]

But don't you kind of want it?

[Ed Larson]

I mean, yeah, of course.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Because I feel like that's what I would do with the very last one. Once I hit like 80, I'd be like, pull the net. Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

All right.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Now we do it for real. Yeah. You know, like, I feel like that could be. And then you just get splattered.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. And he's coming back, though. This is as he should just gonna take some time off and he's gonna come back the Rocket man, you know?

[Henry Zebrowski]

So please, if you do feel like support him, you can. But also maybe again, I'm just saying. Rocket Man. Yeah, maybe this is your wake up call.

[Ed Larson]

I'm looking at his GoFundMe and there's only one person put words of support and it just says ding dong. Interesting.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Very sound. Not a single lesson learned.

[Ed Larson]

$10. Ding dong.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Ding dong. Why did say ding dong? What the. Why does it just say ding dong? That must be a thing. Maybe it's an inside joke with him.

[Ed Larson]

I don't know, but it's. I don't know. But either way, Chachi. We love you, Chachi.

[Henry Zebrowski]

We love you, Chachi.

[Ed Larson]

I want the best for you. I hope you reach your goal. I'm not donating, but we brought it up on the show and so maybe someone will donate. If you want to see the Riverside or the. The Texas Rocket man Valencia and honestly.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Turn to the sky, go to his website, the Rocket Man Valencia. Just go to his website today. A word of support through his email request. I guess you could also just book.

[Ed Larson]

Him available on that right now.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I would. How much can you look this up? How much does the book have? You got to reach out.

[Ed Larson]

Oh, we got to reach out because.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Maybe that's what we'll do.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, we'll book him once he's better.

[Henry Zebrowski]

How much do you think it could cost for one shot out of the cannon?

[Ed Larson]

Five thousand dollars.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Wow.

[Ed Larson]

Thousand. Thousand.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

Well, you got to get the cannon. You got to get the net.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I sadly think it's like. Sadly, it's like 750 bucks.

[Ed Larson]

Really?

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah. You think so?

[Ed Larson]

Well, then they got to lower this $55,000 goal.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Maybe it's a thousand. I think maybe you rent the thing. How do I.

[Ed Larson]

It's not a thing.

[Henry Zebrowski]

You can look up. Why can't I look this up? Are you.

[Ed Larson]

Are you.

[Henry Zebrowski]

How much is a human cannibal if.

[Ed Larson]

You get shot out of a cannon. Please write in, let us know. How much do you charge? We're not necessarily hiring you, but we are just curious.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Looking for estimates.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, yeah. To see if it's something that's in the budget.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah, I'm looking for estimates here, honestly, because I'd say I'm going to take a couple of options because basically if.

[Ed Larson]

It'S more expensive than a dog in a ballerina costume, probably not going to do it.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Unfort. That's the choices we need to make in the 2025 economy. Yeah, we'll have to look it up. We're going to have to try to book him. He's got a booking agent. Yeah, of course he does. Yeah, of course. If he's big enough to go to the London Olympics and shit like that, he must be fucking a very.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. This guy's the best at it.

[Henry Zebrowski]

He must be.

[Ed Larson]

It seems like it.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Or one of.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. Well, I hope to see you back at work, Chachi.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah, but it's just. It's more of a spring. That's what I knew.

[Ed Larson]

They don't actually shoot the Rocketman [e-mail] if you want to email them and wish him well.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I want to hang out with him. Yeah, he actually seems like a blast.

[Ed Larson]

When's the last time you saw the movie Rocket Man?

[Henry Zebrowski]

I haven't seen it a long time.

[Ed Larson]

I wonder if it's sucks though.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Probably. Let's get some listener emails.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

All right, here we go. Some really good ones this week.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, we got some stuff on victim advocates. First degree murder Victim Advocates.

[Henry Zebrowski]

The one thing I will just say is thank you for the support I got from victim advocates. And the main thing that they said is I got a lot of backup.

[Ed Larson]

And truly, even the victim advocates agreed with you.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yes. And just make sure you just call a lawyer. If you can afford a lawyer, call a lawyer. Talk to somebody with a lawyer lawyer degree from your state. Yeah, it's extremely important too because all of the laws vary by state.

[Ed Larson]

And if you're very broke and you find a victim's advocate, maybe hit up your smartest friend and be like, does that seem real to you?

[Henry Zebrowski]

I mean, I don't know, but it'll definitely. Call a fucking lawyer. Most lawyer, you could definitely find somebody that will pick up, at least pick up the phone. And that's just know that the people that reached out to, they're trained by the state and they really are and they're confidential like people like this. A real victim's advocate is not going to blast you on social media. That is just not how it works. A victim's advocate is supposed to work for you, alongside you, and it's not supposed to bring attention to themselves. It's actually the exact opposite of what they're supposed to do. Casey Anthony is the ultimate example of this parasitical version of this job.

[Ed Larson]

Kaka woman.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Kaka. And Gypsy Rose Blanchard coming out hard against her. Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

Well, she. Anyone knows about a bad mom, and.

[Henry Zebrowski]

That'S the sad cuz. I wish that she would have made it to my March Madness pool. Oh, Gypsy versus Casey. Oh, yeah. Because Gypsy kills mothers.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

And Casey kills daughters.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. That is right.

[Henry Zebrowski]

So who's stronger?

[Ed Larson]

If you really want to go out, you want to talk about who's strong and who.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Gypsy kills mothers. Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

And she's got prison time under her belt.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Oh, she's hard as.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Oh, yeah. She can make a ratchet ass.

[Ed Larson]

Didn't her boyfriend and her just break up?

[Henry Zebrowski]

Because after Phil, he got broke up because of the social. Social media presence, the origin, the OG boyfriend. But now she's back with the other guy. The guy that she said had the fight. The dick is fire.

[Ed Larson]

Oh, okay.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah, she's not with him anymore. She's with the other guy.

[Ed Larson]

She's back with the big guy.

[Henry Zebrowski]

No. Yeah, Ken. She's with Ken now she's with Dumper. I thought Dumper was. Yeah, Dumper's gone. Ken is the new. Old one. Yeah, he's the old guy who's not the Dumper that she was with originally.

[Ed Larson]

I like the Dumper.

[Henry Zebrowski]

He is fine.

[Ed Larson]

He's the only. You could tell he's a nice man.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Couldn't handle. Handle the heat.

[Ed Larson]

No, he certainly could not.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Gypsy Rose Blanchard, if she's one thing. Red hot. Here we go. Now let's get to this really gross story.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, I love this.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I don't know if it's a gross story. It's just more just. You never know how close families are.

[Ed Larson]

An unsettling story.

[Henry Zebrowski]

So I've been a wedding bartender in North Carolina for five years and work at venues all over the state. There's a lot of downtime before a wedding, so it's common for vendors to swap interesting stories to pass the time. This is the craziest one I've heard. So the story goes that just before the ceremony, everyone is preparing to get lined up, doing final checks, and the groom is nowhere to be found.

[Ed Larson]

Where is he?

[Henry Zebrowski]

So all the bridesmaids and groomsmen are looking around. The bride's getting frustrated all the guests are in their seats, walking around, searching the venue. The bride's sister starts hearing noises coming from a closet. H. So she opens the door only to find their groom breastfeeding from his mother while the father is watching. I suppose, I guess for some much needed comfort before the stress of the wedding. Needless to say, the wedding was cancelled. Now nothing's got to be like. How do I put this?

[Ed Larson]

Is it still breastfeeding?

[Henry Zebrowski]

It was. I think it was just dry. And it was for the feeling of it.

[Ed Larson]

He was sucking on her tits.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yes.

[Ed Larson]

He wasn't breastfeeding. And honestly, assuming if you're getting married, your mother is over 50, there's only.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Two ways this counts in terms of that we can remotely really kind of try to sorta like talk about this. And then if one, if one, your mother is Salma Hayek. Two, your mother is Susan Sarandon.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

That is the only way this is remotely acceptable.

[Ed Larson]

Or amaranth.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yes.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Simply just because she needs the support.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Now. But the idea of just wholeheartedly just sucking on a titty with no milk coming out of it on your wedding day is. I get it. We all handle stress differently. And for me, I find that situation itself very stressful.

[Ed Larson]

Also, if you have to do this, I suggest doing it at the hotel beforehand.

[Henry Zebrowski]

We're not even telling you don't do it.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

We're not even saying hold back. It's your wedding day.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

We're saying have the good taste. Waste to do it back in the changing area.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

All right. Not that day. Not the day of the wedding.

[Ed Larson]

The dad watching is the weird part.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I think he's just trying to make sure he did it right.

[Ed Larson]

This sounds like a back rooms video.

[Henry Zebrowski]

It does. I, I do, but I've talked. Did I not talk about. On the stream about how my entire algorithm, I. I am getting this like breastfeeding thing really. It's a lot of that. It's a way to show tits but without it. But they use the baby. And a lot of times they use a fake baby too to pretend suck on the tit and pull it off like. Huh. And just so you could see him a little bit.

[Ed Larson]

And so they. You see nipples on.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

On Instagram now.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Oh yeah.

[Ed Larson]

Because of the breastfeeding.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah. Look it up.

[Ed Larson]

Okay.

[Henry Zebrowski]

You know, I've never typed in the words.

[Ed Larson]

I had a family member who kept posting breastfeeding videos and I wasn't happy about it. We've talked about this where I, I'm okay with it. I'm happy about if I was in the room. That's one thing.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I'm not disgusted by it. And I don't even hate it.

[Ed Larson]

Right.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I don't think that it's bad. I think it's natural. And I think you need to breastfeed whenever you need to breastfeed. Absolutely.

[Ed Larson]

But I think that's my little cousin. Please don't post it on Instagram stories.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I would also say, just understand we are doing everything in our power as men to not look at it because we don't want to see it. We actively don't want to see it.

[Ed Larson]

I'm behaving myself.

[Henry Zebrowski]

But the sucking and the titty out makes our heads turn.

[Ed Larson]

It's a noise.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Nothing that we can do because how hard is there stories to ignore?

[Ed Larson]

If my dog is licking his foot at night, I. I get. I flip out because the noise is so much.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Meanwhile. Meanwhile, like if you sit over there and you got your six year old out and she's chomping on your. Getting. Chomping on your tetons, getting their whole milk.

[Ed Larson]

All right.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I can't. I'm going to end up looking and I don't want to.

[Ed Larson]

No one wants it.

[Henry Zebrowski]

We all hate it. But just know that's why I think it's cool. But again, I also support breastfeed in public. Just put a blanket over everybody. Just know that.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, it's. It's more of like if your family's around. I don't know.

[Henry Zebrowski]

We're just getting trouble now.

[Ed Larson]

I'm getting trouble now.

[Henry Zebrowski]

We're just getting. It's a touchy subject.

[Ed Larson]

Well, touchy subject.

[Henry Zebrowski]

It's funny in a way. Yeah, Super. It's a sucky. It's a sucky subject because I do, you know. But again, I support breastfeeding.

[Ed Larson]

I. I want you to breastfeed. Please. Breastfeed. Do it at the restaurant. Do it at the airport. I don't care.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Do it at the police station. Do it at the crackhouse.

[Ed Larson]

Need to put it on Instagram reels.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I don't know. I guess maybe they do. You.

[Ed Larson]

You like it?

[Henry Zebrowski]

I don't like.

[Ed Larson]

And I'm asking for not.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I don't like it.

[Ed Larson]

But you have been enjoying it.

[Henry Zebrowski]

No, I just. I've seen it.

[Ed Larson]

You've seen it and you don't like it? No. Say it again.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I don't like it. No. Because I don't want to see t. I don't want to see babies in there. It's not what breasts are for.

[Ed Larson]

No. Well, it is technically exactly what they're for. Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

For lame breasts. Now let's go and look at this next story. So unsubscribe, Unsubscribe. This is. This is literally the non toxic male podcast. Here we go. So we had a comment, we talked about Lori and Chad this week getting a hotel room for their non heavy petting, awkward Christian, non sex.

[Ed Larson]

Okay.

[Henry Zebrowski]

And this is just too much. When I was in college, I was in a sorority and it was a relatively normal sorority except for one girl. She was a very conservative, conservative Christian. Not sure exactly which branch, but very fundamentalist. I think her parents wanted her to join because she would live with only girls and stay pure or something. Yeah, good idea. She got engaged by the time she was 20, which we all awkwardly side eyed because it's the only way they can have sex. That's why they get engaged at early. Boys are not allowed on the second floor of the house, but you could theoretically study with your boyfriend on the main level. One time her fiance came over and they were hanging out in the living room while I was reading for class. We're probably like 10ft or away away from them. The two of them faced each other and they pressed their foreheads against each other, looking each other's eyes and breathing heavily together while holding hands. It was the most disgustingly intimate, uncomfortable thing I have secondhand experienced. And it went on for about 15 minutes.

[Ed Larson]

Well, that's long.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Oh yeah. Well, I just sat there. I was trying to read, not knowing if I should leave. Every so often I would just hear mm, mm from behind me and I would internally scream. I think it would have actually been less weird if they just had sex in front of me. I agree. Eventually the awkwardness of the situation broke through to me and I cough loudly and I left the lead. That leave them with their weird breathing. Yeah. So I think it's probably good that.

[Ed Larson]

Sex and Demolition Man.

[Henry Zebrowski]

That is like what I wanted to bring up with the shells.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Lori and Chad got a. A hotel room and in cone heads.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Instead of doing that weird. In a public park. Yeah. That's like. I don't know why they. It's really gross. It's so much worse than kiss than sex. It's so much worse than sex. Getting married at 20 and pressing foreheads together is so much worse than having sex one time.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, I guess so.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yes.

[Ed Larson]

At the same time. Good for them.

[Henry Zebrowski]

No, them don't. No one should be getting married at 20 years old.

[Ed Larson]

No, that.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I feel like I understand why you Do. And I understand that people do it and it's really not disparaging. I'm just saying just straight up, as A Now a 40 year old, you.

[Ed Larson]

Get off on slapping foreheads and holding hands. It's good for you.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I think it's fine.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, you shouldn't, if you are getting off though, you shouldn't get off in front of other people.

[Henry Zebrowski]

No, I mean if that's your, if that is your sex, it should be behind a closed door anyway.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Because again, I just don't need you.

[Ed Larson]

Guys doing mind share is worse than the falconer.

[Henry Zebrowski]

You know what's funny? I sort of do too. Only just because the falconer put it on. Yes. He should not have posted it. No, the thing about the Falconer that saves it all is his own accepting attitude is how Italian he is about it. Yeah, that's what saves that story is the fact that he's not only not ashamed, but just so happy at how well his penis looks that he wanted to show the world and he was just proud of it and he got, he took it, he took accountability, he.

[Ed Larson]

Saved up for it and he. And he bought it.

[Henry Zebrowski]

But these are the people, these guys pressing foreheads together are the same people that are making like Supreme Court decisions. You think so?

[Ed Larson]

Yes.

[Henry Zebrowski]

So that's the thing, that's what we're talking about here. This is the problem is that if you can't put P and V, he's.

[Ed Larson]

You know, we know he's, you know.

[Henry Zebrowski]

He'S being dirty now, but I'm just saying these are the type of people where they come. This is what we're looking at. Evangelicals and fundamentalists. That's what Amy Barrett is with all these people. Just understand that if you can't put P in and V, you cannot choose what to do with our country. That is what I consider. If you cannot. If you literally can't watch an R rated movie, how in the literal are you supposed to run the country, United States of America, when we are proudly built on war?

[Ed Larson]

Yes.

[Henry Zebrowski]

All right. We are proudly built on bloodshed. And I won't have you deny it, you dirty ass Christians.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, you Christians, man.

[Henry Zebrowski]

So much worse coming for you. I'd rather you openly. But what a. A runaway.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, you know, there you go. We ended strong today. We really did.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Really, really did. What a day it was. We got a lot of messaging in there and I think that everybody who's heard us is more inspired.

[Ed Larson]

So in two days, if you want to hear more of this, we're going to Be at the Ryman Auditorium. You bet you. March 14th in Nashville, Tennessee, and I.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Am going to love being in Nashville. I'm going to live the Nashville lifestyle going down there. I'm going to get some Too hot for Me chicken.

[Ed Larson]

You are going to get the chicken?

[Henry Zebrowski]

I don't know yet. I haven't decided. I want to eat good. Honestly. If you.

[Ed Larson]

Let's get the chicken on Saturday, the day after the show so we don't have to worry about being sick.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Could someone send me an email of what. What's like a good sleeper thing? We should check out in Nashville on Saturday while we're in town. There's a good restaurant. We should head up because I am just. I'm already hungry. Thinking about Nashville.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, No, I love eating there.

[Henry Zebrowski]

It's one of the.

[Ed Larson]

It's one of the good towns for that. And then we're going to get our German food on Sunday. Sunday in Huntsville. That is March 16th. Henry and I are doing a special side stories in Huntsville. It's gonna be a blast. I can't wait for it, man.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Cannot wait.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, we're going to NASA. Well, we're not going to NASA, but we're gonna go scream at the building.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Oh, yeah.

[Ed Larson]

And then. Then we're gonna talk about your hero, Werner von Braun.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Oh, everybody's favorite American. We're gonna have so much fun. Come out to Huntsville. We are gonna. We're gonna have a blast.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. And then April 19th, we're going to be in Detroit at the Masonic, so make sure you check us out there. And then also next week, I am touring Florida. That's right. On March 20th, I'm in Jacksonville. March 21st and 22nd, I'm in Panama City Beach. And on March 23rd, I'm in Tallahassee with Danny Boan. It's going to be amazing. I got our boy Evan Rossi opening up for me. We're going to have a ton of fun. I got. I'm doing an hour of Florida jokes.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yes, it is good. You developed this whole act.

[Ed Larson]

Yes, yes. So this is a lot of Florida specific material. You're not going to see anything like this. Come and check it out. And then Henry and I are going to be in Florida in May, but we'll talk about that down the road. But right now, March 20th, Jacksonville, 21st and 22nd, Panama City Beach. And the 23rd, I'll be in Tallahassee, Florida. Come check all that out. You love it, you animals. Yes, yes.

[Henry Zebrowski]

And we will laugh our way, won't we?

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Go and get those tickets. We'll see you soon, you. Hail Satan.

[Ed Larson]

Hail breastfeeding.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Please hail it from the boogie down streets of Queens to a pile of beans, A new cup of piping hot polish Italian java. Last podcast on the left and Spring Heeled Jack Coffee are rising from the rubble with the new brew on Butterfly Dudes Blue Eye Blend. Nothing to do with any moth based entity. Don't even think about it. This is a Butterfly Dude. Don't mind the blue eyes. He's just Caucasian. Our new proprietary roast might seem eerily similar, but don't let your tongue deceive you. It's a Butterfly Dude Rose. This is the Butterfly Dude's Blue Eye Bl. Entirely delicious and not just the same beans. Butterfly Dudes Blue Eye Blend from the cocoon to your room.