Side Stories: Annabelle Rides Again

Summary

Podcast Summary: Last Podcast on the Left - Episode: Side Stories: Annabelle Rides Again

Introduction

In the "Side Stories: Annabelle Rides Again" episode of Last Podcast on the Left, host Henry Zabrowski engages in a candid and multifaceted conversation with co-host Ryan Reynolds. The episode delves into a blend of personal anecdotes, true crime discussions, paranormal tales, and updates on ongoing notorious cases. Skipping the advertisements and promotional segments, the hosts navigate through a variety of intriguing and darkly humorous topics that cater to enthusiasts of both the supernatural and real-world horrors.

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1. Grief and Personal Reflections

The episode opens with Henry Zabrowski sharing his recent struggle with grief following the loss of his father. He candidly discusses his grieving process and the emotional toll it has taken on him.

• Notable Quote:

  Henry Zabrowski [04:35]: "One of the biggest things that came out of me in this, like, you know, sadness spiral. Lost my father."

Ryan and Henry explore how personal loss intersects with their interest in dark and macabre subjects, providing listeners with a glimpse into Henry’s emotional journey.

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2. Jeffrey Epstein and Intelligence Connections

A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to dissecting Jeffrey Epstein's intricate connections with intelligence agencies. Henry references Whitney Webb's extensive research, particularly her book that unveils Epstein's ties to the CIA and Mossad. The discussion highlights Epstein's alleged roles, his financial maneuvers, and the murky interplay between his criminal activities and possible intelligence operations.

• Notable Quote:

  Henry Zabrowski [06:54]: "I believe Epstein definitely was a member of the intelligence community. And so you can kind of see this."

The hosts speculate on how Epstein's intelligence affiliations may have facilitated his illicit activities, weaving in historical references to Operation Underground Railroad and the use of organized crime figures by intelligence agencies.

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3. P Diddy Trial and Potential Pardons

Ryan Reynolds shifts the conversation to the ongoing trial of P Diddy, discussing the complexities of racketeering charges and the possibility of a presidential pardon. The dialogue touches upon the challenges of prosecuting high-profile individuals with significant influence and the implications of such pardons on justice and accountability.

• Notable Quote:

  Henry Zabrowski [35:53]: "He might get a couple of years and then Trump can just lop it off the top because he's specifically taking money for pardons."

The hosts express skepticism about the trial's integrity and the administration's handling of such high-stakes cases, questioning the fairness and thoroughness of the legal proceedings.

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4. Joe Exotic's Jailhouse Marriage

Another update revolves around Joe Exotic, the controversial figure from Tiger King. Henry provides details about Joe's marriage to a Mexican man while incarcerated, and the subsequent deportation of his husband to Mexico. The segment explores Joe's attempts to garner attention from former President Trump for a pardon, highlighting the absurdity and tragedy of his situation.

• Notable Quote:

  Henry Zabrowski [31:43]: "Joe Exotic, this update is pretty wonderful. So he got married in jail to a Mexican gentleman that in a bid to get President Trump's attention for a pardon, he ratted out to ICE."

The conversation underscores the bizarre dynamics of Joe Exotic's relationships and his relentless pursuit of freedom, despite the questionable decisions leading to the deportation of his spouse.

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5. Annabelle the Haunted Doll and Associated Chaos

The central theme of the episode focuses on Annabelle, the infamous haunted doll from The Conjuring series. The hosts narrate how Annabelle's "tour" has coincided with a series of supernatural and criminal events, including the burning down of the Nottoway plantation and a significant jailbreak at the Orleans Parish Sheriff's Office.

• Notable Quote:

  Henry Zabrowski [48:57]: "Annabelle is on tour. But because she's on tour, there's been a series of events that have been in the same area where Annabelle has been on tour."

They discuss the plausibility of Annabelle influencing real-world events, blending folklore with true crime elements to heighten the eerie narrative surrounding the doll's movements.

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6. Side Stories and Personal Anecdotes

Interspersed within the main discussions are various side stories and personal experiences shared by the hosts. These include:

• Ryan's Encounter with a Serial Biter: Ryan recounts a bizarre incident where he was bitten by a man named Andrew Barrett during a confrontation, leading to humorous yet unsettling tales about coping with the aftermath.

  • Notable Quote:

    Ryan Reynolds [60:25]: "He bit it off and then if it's just meat... You must seal the wound."

• Haitian Vigilante Story: Henry narrates the story of a Haitian woman who poisoned 40 gang members with tainted empanadas to avenge her family's loss, emphasizing themes of vigilante justice and the spiraling cycle of violence.

  • Notable Quote:

    Henry Zabrowski [37:44]: "She filled it all with some form of insecticide and then they all vomited themselves to death."

These segments add layers of dark humor and real-world horror, aligning with the podcast's reputation for covering both imagined and real horrors.

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7. Upcoming Events and Live Shows

Towards the end of the episode, the hosts briefly touch upon their upcoming live shows and events. They humorously blend announcements with ongoing narratives about their adventures and misadventures, maintaining the episode's light-hearted yet macabre tone.

• Notable Quote:

  Ryan Reynolds [72:00]: "Dead Men Tell Some Tales. A deep dive into Disney's dark history."

While promotional, these mentions are seamlessly integrated into the conversation, ensuring the episode remains engaging and content-focused.

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Conclusion

"Side Stories: Annabelle Rides Again" offers listeners a tapestry of personal grief, intricate true crime analysis, supernatural lore, and dark humor. Henry Zabrowski and Ryan Reynolds navigate through these topics with a blend of seriousness and levity, characteristic of Last Podcast on the Left. The episode not only updates fans on ongoing notorious cases but also intertwines them with fictional elements, creating a unique narrative that satisfies the audience's appetite for both real and imagined horrors.

Key Takeaways:

• Personal Grief: Henry's candid discussion about losing his father adds a heartfelt layer to the episode.

• Jeffrey Epstein's Secrets: The exploration of Epstein's ties to intelligence agencies sheds light on the complexities surrounding his case.

• Justice and Pardons: The conversation about P Diddy's trial raises questions about the integrity of high-profile legal cases.

• Supernatural Chaos: Annabelle's tour acts as a catalyst for a series of eerie and criminal events, blurring the lines between fiction and reality.

• Dark Humor: Personal anecdotes and side stories infuse the episode with humor, balancing the darker themes discussed.

Listeners are left with a compelling mix of emotional depth, investigative discussion, and spine-chilling tales, all delivered with the hosts' signature wit and insight.

Transcript

[Henry Zabrowski]

Ryan Reynolds here from Mint Mobile. I don't know if you knew this, but anyone can get the same Premium Wireless for $15 a month plan that I've been enjoying. It's not just for celebrities. So do like I did and have one of your assistant's assistants switch you to Mint Mobile today. I'm told it's super easy to [e-mail] Switch upfront payment of $45 for three.

[Ed Larson]

Month plan equivalent to $15 per month.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Required intro rate first three months only.

[Ed Larson]

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[Henry Zabrowski]

There's no place to escape to.

[Ryan Reynolds]

This is the last podcast on the left side stories.

[Henry Zabrowski]

That's when the cannibalism started. Side stories, yes.

[Ryan Reynolds]

So someone gave you to cassette tapes.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Of the pan flutes.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah, I actually took them home and I listened to the pan flute tape when I was in the shower because I like to listen to my tapes when I'm in the shower.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Sure.

[Ryan Reynolds]

And it was great. They had a pan flute version of We Got Tonight.

[Henry Zabrowski]

That's amazing.

[Ryan Reynolds]

And I was like.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I feel like I would take a lot of the drama out of that.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Oh, for sure.

[Henry Zabrowski]

That's. Yeah, that's all pan flutes, actually. It's making me angrier. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The idea of doing that, like how sad you'd have to be sitting there at a kiosk in the mall listening to a fake negative American play his electric pan flutes. Just like this.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah, I kind of liked it, but this is fine.

[Henry Zabrowski]

But it doesn't. It definitely doesn't make me horny.

[Ryan Reynolds]

No, definitely doesn't make me horny. Only reason I enjoy it is because I was in the shower when I was listening to it.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Oh, sure.

[Ryan Reynolds]

And I feel like pan flutes are really at their core shower music.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Oh, yeah. I could definitely see some pan flutes gently playing in the background as Julie scrapes the barnacles off your underside with a big hook, you know, spraying you with the various, I guess, antibacterial foam.

[Ryan Reynolds]

We gotta get those orcas out of the thing in France.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah, you you mentioned it finally. And yes, I have returned. Welcome to side Stories. My name is. It's good to be back. My name is Henry Zabrowski. I'm sitting here with Ed Larson. I am recently aggrieved, but now I have completed grieving.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Oh, yeah, it's over. You're just good now.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Done. All right, well, you know what?

[Ryan Reynolds]

George Winstead.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Oh, I know, I know.

[Ryan Reynolds]

And I work with him.

[Henry Zabrowski]

He's one of the first celebrities that I can even say I can finally have one of those. Where I worked with George Went. I hung out with George Went for several days. He was very ill at the time. It seemed he was somehow younger than my father when he died.

[Ryan Reynolds]

He had to be.

[Henry Zabrowski]

He looked rough.

[Ryan Reynolds]

He looked really rough.

[Henry Zabrowski]

But George Went was a comedy hero of mine and everybody, and he was wonderful in person. He said a bunch of stories I can't repeat, which is the best thing you can say about really an old time matters anymore. There's still. I'm his. You know, there's still family. There's still family out there.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

You know, and I feel like it's a type.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Do you think he was able to have sex and have children?

[Henry Zabrowski]

I think yo. Yeah, he had before.

[Ryan Reynolds]

I mean, he's always been huge.

[Henry Zabrowski]

But when he was just straight up Norm, you Forget he was 35.

[Ryan Reynolds]

You could still push him wild to me. Well, that. That drives me crazy. I thought he was at least 50 in that show.

[Henry Zabrowski]

No, dude, no. He was younger than us. But you know what? I will say you really are putting a lot of it's just on the woman when it comes to George Went. If you're going to have sex with George Went, just know he's going to be on the bottom. And you're going to have to write him because that's how it's going to get. If you want to come at all, you're going to have to write them and you're going to have to pump them full of Cialis. But unfortunately not anymore because now he's a corpse. Oh, but great actor, great friend, great father. No, I also want to say, you know how I know. Actually, I noticed. Done grieving.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Okay, let me hear it.

[Henry Zabrowski]

One of the biggest things that came out of me in this, like, you know, sadness spiral. Lost my father. For those of you that don't know, it's not like he's not in the woods. He's dead. But my father is. My father passed. And first of all, I just want to say big ups to the people over at Host Spice they really did a good job. My father out. I'm not even joking. I do believe that a part of my pop. My father's positive reaction to. To his nurse was how stacked she was.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah. And you, you manifested this.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Oh, honestly, I am. I don't want to give myself too much credit, but yes, I. I believe I created this busty nurse that was an angel on earth that arrived and wiped my father and did all the things that he needed to do at the very, very end.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Just like.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah. But he was. He wasn't fighting.

[Ryan Reynolds]

No.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Which I think before he was fighting because it was men. And then all of a sudden we have this like lady where you can sort of see her nipples and now he Polish broad. It just. No, I don't think so. No, no, unfortunately. No, no, no, no, no. I wish the night nurse was also stacked, but that's different.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah. The night nurse is always stacked. That's why they keep her in the evening.

[Henry Zabrowski]

She's got to be there. Yeah. It's like. Yeah. She wore lingerie.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Actually thought it was kind of inappropriate.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

But at the same time slipped her 50, you know what I mean? Because it was like, thanks. Thanks for every. Thanks from everybody.

[Ryan Reynolds]

If you want to lean over on my father a little harder, please.

[Henry Zabrowski]

If you could give him a thrill, it's the last one he'll ever have. It might help him pass, so. But what I realized, the reason why I'm still grieving is that I. We joke on the show all the time about what happens when a guy loses something, loses his family. He gets and becomes a Hollow Moon enthusiast. If he loses his pension, he starts believing in flat earth and stuff like that. And I found in the center of my grief what brought me quiet quite a bit of comfort was the Jeffrey Epstein story. Oh yeah. And I've now been reading it's childhood's story.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Was it like him as a boy?

[Henry Zabrowski]

It's his. It's tales of his childhood. It's all about, oh, little Jeffrey Epstein and his many businesses. Even as a kid, he somehow flipped a. Like he obviously was pimping, but the main thing was a lemonade stand. But he had the girls behind the.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Stand filling it with piss.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Oh yeah. And that's how you know because again, he's making his own lemonade.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

And that's called Producers Juice. Oh, and that. Which is why I have here today, I learned that from the P Didy trial. Producer Juice. Just a little bit.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Is that coffee?

[Henry Zabrowski]

No, that's hot pee, baby. Oh, that's a that that's a hot, hot, hot pee. Because that's what I learned from the. Also from the P. Diddy trial this week is that if you're producing and you ain't making people drink pee, you're not P. Diddy.

[Ryan Reynolds]

I mean, his first name is P.

[Henry Zabrowski]

But I did not know it stood for pee pee. You know, like I did not know. I thought it said for precocious Diddy.

[Ryan Reynolds]

We all know what the R and R Kelly. Now we do.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Now we do. Definitely. At least it wasn't C. Because if he was P. Kelly, he'd be Poo Poo Kelly.

[Ryan Reynolds]

But he did his fair share of peeing.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Oh, he did. And Chuck Berry.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

And they really like it. They really like it. But I have been reading the book by. She might be listed as a controversial person. Now I'm not quite certain. Whitney Webb, that was an investigative journalist that wrote two 850 page volumes about the various business connections of Jeffrey Epstein and the various intellig intelligence connections that he had. And I'll tell you what, it is a laugh a minute. Yeah, it's the funniest book I read since Norm MacDonald's last book.

[Ryan Reynolds]

What were they saying? Was he involved with, I don't know, China?

[Henry Zabrowski]

We got to educate Ed Larson a little bit on this. No, I don't want to do this too. Because when we went to the. We were at Cruel World festival this weekend and right before I was on the right amount of mushrooms and rock star energy drink to info. I was like full on info dumping on Marcus about Lucky Luciano. The connections of the OG Mafia, Five families and CIA and the, or the, the whole. Like the naval intelligence units that were using mobsters in the 1940s to rat out Nazi secret agents in the unions of New York City. Which is a movie in and of itself that I can't find fucking believe that I have never seen. It's called Operation Underground. It's completely real.

[Ryan Reynolds]

That's very cool.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah, it's fucking. They went. They brokered relations. So this is one of the beginnings of when we were in the whole MK Ultra, Michigan where the CIA and the other intelligence agencies were using open criminals to help suss out what they said was spy activity.

[Ryan Reynolds]

So the mob hated the Nazis.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Mob hated the Nazis.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Even though the Nazis and the Italians were in bed together.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Well, the. Well the OG Italians, not American Italians. Yeah, American Italians hated the Nazis at the time. But now obviously they, they seem to really like them. But before they were. They were. But yeah, that's like. But it's very similar to. The reason why I even bring it up is because the Epstein activity and the Diddy activity was all extremely, extremely close. And again they had to have known each other. Maybe. But it seem the main difference was the fact that Jeffrey Epstein definitely was a member of the intelligence community. And so you can kind of see this. But this book is like. I mean it's thick.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Ours or Mossad? Both. Wow.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Both. And then he was working for both and it's more just like can we have a good kind of even keeled conversation about the Mossad?

[Ryan Reynolds]

Did you not to be this guy, but did you check out the bibliography? Can't this chick just write whatever she wants?

[Henry Zabrowski]

What do you mean?

[Ryan Reynolds]

I mean what do. What was her sources?

[Henry Zabrowski]

Oh no, this is. It's huge. It's really just. She's doing a good job of just presenting facts and just like trying to figure out what was Jeffrey Epstein's job. How the fuck did he have money? And on one hand it seems that he did quite a bit of some form of investing and working with billionaires. But on the other hand, if you work for the intelligent agencies, as we could see with our. One of my favorites, Marjorie Taylor Greene, that if you get inside information about what the government's going to do and what other world governments are going to do and how they're going to either regulate their businesses or inside bullshit from other businesses, you can make a lot of money in the stock market.

[Ryan Reynolds]

What. So that was his on the books money?

[Henry Zabrowski]

His. Well, it's all over the place. So this book is charting all of it and you could see it's quite complicated.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Of course it would have to be.

[Henry Zabrowski]

It's called One Nation under Blackmail. I can't really. One nation under a black belt. Honestly. He left that. He's leaving money on the table. Whitney Webb is somebody that I honestly, I don't know how else to recommend other things that she's done. But this is. It's thick. And if you want to become an extremely difficult person to talk to, especially when you were in a kind of mixed mood, read that book. Because that is what Marcus was like. This is my hostage.

[Ryan Reynolds]

This is how you mourned your father?

[Henry Zabrowski]

Oh yes, of course. This. In watching various. I watched a lot of cops. I watched a lot of, you know, my. My normal body cam footage and I. I'm gonna show tonight live on the stream. You won't see it until it comes to YouTube. I'm gonna show some of the other things that really did help me pass the time.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Oh well, that's good. But.

[Henry Zabrowski]

But otherwise it's great. And, God, you know, there just need to be more big, crazy, tedded nurses out there that are ready to do the work.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Amen. Amen. Give me. That's. I feel like if you have really big breasts, you should get a discount at nursing school.

[Henry Zabrowski]

That's what I'm saying. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. But I also want to reach. I got re. I got so many different E cups.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Free.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Wow. Yes.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Free.

[Henry Zabrowski]

You're a doctor.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah. You're a doctor. No, no, no.

[Ryan Reynolds]

You can't have him be a doctor. Doctor.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Well, big.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Did. A doctor leaves the room too fast.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yes.

[Ryan Reynolds]

You know, nurses.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah. Don't do a lot of the work.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah, yeah. The doctor ain't rolling me over to make sure I don't get sores.

[Henry Zabrowski]

No. Not unless, again, you're paying them directly. I wish that I. I got. I want to also say thank you to all of the various nurses that reached out to me. I have a lot of friends. Oh, yeah. Olga. Petunia. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I love. I just love each one of them. And I. But I got reached out to by a lot of people that have, like, Internet friends of mine that are in the nursing industry and that you. It takes a special type of angel.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Oh, for sure.

[Henry Zabrowski]

It's a calling that you're just not going to do. I have a friend because even though Jackie and I were trying to draw the straight straw, we were trying to draw the short straw to see who got to wipe Daddy.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Did you not do it? No, I did.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I'd rather not.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Your father, Mine.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I'd rather beat John Wick's dog. I'd rather be. Kill it. Yeah. I would rather be. To not wipe my father. I would have done anything, really. I'll wipe anybody else.

[Ryan Reynolds]

You know, it's interesting, except for my mother. I was.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I think my mother's slightly higher on the list of who I don't want to wipe.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Really.

[Henry Zabrowski]

But Dad's real close. And then the third one is Papa Joe Biden. Oh, yeah.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Gonna have to be wiping him.

[Henry Zabrowski]

He's sitting on some rocks.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah. Poor.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Hey, it's fine. He's tired now. He's. He's. We'll forget about him soon.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Oh, he already forgot about himself. You know, while we're talking about death, my favorite Internet dog died. It finally happened to me.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Which one?

[Ryan Reynolds]

Sunday. The Black Lab.

[Henry Zabrowski]

God help me.

[Ryan Reynolds]

God, it's so sad.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I know. Now I found. I'm following Little Bittys. Little Bitty and cheddar. Any.

[Ryan Reynolds]

How are they doing?

[Henry Zabrowski]

They're healthy. But that's a reason why I even chose them is because they're mid age.

[Ryan Reynolds]

I think that. Yeah. I think the next Internet dog I fall in love with. Puppy. Yeah. I'm going to fall in love with a puppy.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Just sometimes, just be able to spend some time with it.

[Ryan Reynolds]

I keep the real dog. Death to my own home.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yes.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

That's where you're comfortable with it.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah, yeah. Somewhere so I can be. But also before we move on past, you know, everything that happened with Florida and stuff like that, I have to say you missed our shows together.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I know. I was so sad. I can't wait till we got to make it up. We are going to.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Everybody was so nice. Everyone really cares about you. It was really, it was kind of beautiful to see.

[Henry Zabrowski]

That's very nice.

[Ryan Reynolds]

But in Orlando you didn't show up and I got to eat your public sub.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I know.

[Ryan Reynolds]

And.

[Henry Zabrowski]

And you like my order?

[Ryan Reynolds]

I liked it. I didn't think I would.

[Henry Zabrowski]

But see my order, I, I didn't.

[Ryan Reynolds]

It didn't make sense to me when I was putting it in and then when I took a bite, I was like, oh, this is good.

[Henry Zabrowski]

It's not because the bread's healthier. I like the five grain Italian bed. Tastes better.

[Ryan Reynolds]

See, I've had. If you order just the wheat, it's a little dry.

[Henry Zabrowski]

That's gross.

[Ryan Reynolds]

The five grain Italian, that's. I wouldn't think to do that. Very good.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Five grain Italian is also the key too, is like, I don't like the iceberg lettuce. I like a spinach.

[Ryan Reynolds]

See, I always, I'm addicted to shredded iceberg. I love shredded iceberg on everything. A thick iceberg, go. But shredded iceberg, I love. I wouldn't imagine straying. I tried your spinach. I couldn't believe how much I liked it.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I like it. It also gets it in there. Gets other little factors in there. Love. Publ.

[Ryan Reynolds]

It's really. Yeah. That was really, really good. Very impressed by your order. And I ate it at three in the morning and so it was perfect.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yes. Good. I'm glad.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Exactly, exactly how it did. And the whole time I was like, this one's for Henry's dad.

[Henry Zabrowski]

No. And it's. I, I again, I just can't say thank you enough to everybody. That reached out so nicely to me.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

But again, I don't, I don't really need all the listeners and I don't need all the fans and I don't need the families. I just need the truth about Jeffrey Epstein to really hold me.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah. So during this, could please send all of your Jeffrey Epstein theories to memes and memes to Henry's DMs and really flood that thing.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I barely check it. Go to side stories lp otl gmail.com, please. Anything Epstein related. I'm into it.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah, yeah, please, please keep him going.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I'm a real steenhead.

[Ryan Reynolds]

From your grave. Summer's coming up. You know, you're looking ahead. You're like, all right, I gotta do this summer vacation, you know, but I gotta cut some corners before we do it. And you know where you're gonna go to find a way to cut some corners and save some money so you can go on that vacation and do everything you want to do this summer? Get Rocket Money. Rocket Money is a personal finance app that helps find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings.

[Henry Zabrowski]

All right?

[Ryan Reynolds]

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[Henry Zabrowski]

This podcast is brought to you by Squarespace. Squarespace gives you everything you need to offer services and get paid all in one place. Seems amazing, right? It's because it is. From consultations to events and experiences, showcase your offerings with a customizable website designed to attract clients and grow your business. Which is good, because let's just say I need it. You know, as you may or may not know, I lost horse picks.com in a very, very public and embarrassing auction to a young man by the name of Charlie Bucket, who has decided to take my horse picks and drive it towards the right. Some of the incendiary horse picks that I've seen, including Steve Bannon on a Clydesdale, one of the worst I saw was Ivanka Trump inside of a mayor. And I know that this is not the direction that I saw. Horsepix.com and. And that little boy, I didn't know that he'd become a full fledged Nazi and. And grow his hair into broccoli shapes and do all sorts of things I don't understand. Which is why I've started Emu Paintings.com thank you, Squarespace, because Emu Paintings.com Are these really. It's an exceptional way for me to get you paintings of emus in various positions that emus would normally be. And in a way I find it both amusing and inspiring to see what emus can do using the painter's brush and imagination. And if it wasn't for Squarespace, I would be absolutely F'd to the gills. That's the term for being absolutely s out of luck. Squarespace, thank you for streamlining your workflow with built in tools because I would not have been able to get this website up fast enough due to the legal fees I've received and the personal heartache and my own health deteriorating. I just want to say thank you Squarespace for all your help and emu paintings.com is going to be just as good and just as funny and relevant. I promise. Had to squarespace.com left for a free trial when you're ready to launch, use offer code left to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Do you plan your vacation locations based on the local language? With Babel, language no longer has to be the barrier. Babel's quick 10 minute lessons, handcrafted by over 200 language experts get you to begin speaking your new language in three weeks or whatever pace you choose. Babel's tips and tools are inspired by the real life stuff you actually need when communicating with a focus on conversation, you'll be ready to talk wherever you go. You know what I really need is a hand gestures manual as well. I need a babble. I need you to. This has been great. I've learned Italian so quickly just going through it. But what does it mean when the man goes under his chin and he does a, he does like a strike at me or another man where he did a thing where he went like oh yeah, he made a yell at me and I believe like a fingers like two prongs. He made two prongs at me. Have I been cursed? Is this an Italian curse? Is all my pasta going to be gluten free now because of what this guy did? All right, I need you to know Babel, but honestly, otherwise the Italian stuff, it's amazing. I'm a regular Chef Boyardee. Let's get more of you talking in a new language. Babel is gifting our listeners 60 off [e-mail] left get up to 60 [e-mail] left spelled b a b b e l.com left babel.com left rules and restrictions.

[Ryan Reynolds]

May apply now we have some updates. But before we get started, last puppy benefit on the left this Friday Just.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Come and check this out.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Masonic Temple at the Hollywood Forever cemetery. This Friday, May 23rd from 7pm to 10pm Play with puppies. Play with us. We're gonna have a great time.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I don't think we really even said that it has a full. It's not an open bar. It's an open pet.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yes.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Puppy cocktail hour. So the puppies are coming for an hour to be petted. All right. And they have a hard out.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah. They got to get back to the river.

[Henry Zabrowski]

They immediately back thrown in the river. The ones that you don't adopt. The ones that you don't adopt are going to be immediately destroyed.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Immediately destroyed. There's a basket that floats kind of. Well, we're gonna put it in the river and see how it does.

[Henry Zabrowski]

And that's the best part is that then they can be kind of afraid a little bit.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah. It's the LA river, so there might not even be water in it.

[Henry Zabrowski]

So they might die of exposure. Exposure. So what I would say say is if you've got to buy a ticket and you've got to come and you've got to adopt these dogs because if you don't again. And this is not from us. This is with, this is from the organization. They're gonna, I, I, we try to beg them to not.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Wipe out the dogs that are left. They are, we begged them to not.

[Ryan Reynolds]

They're Pups without borders and the borders are moral compass.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Oh, I thought it was skin and bones. Yes. No. But please come and check this out. It is going to be, it's gonna be fun too because we've accidentally kind of guaranteed that we' do a full show.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah. Of all material that we'll never do before or after.

[Henry Zabrowski]

So we have no idea what we're going to do there. So you should come check that out.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah. It's going to be wild. I'm very excited. So come on down to the Masonic. This Friday, May 23rd from 7pm to 10pm Henry's drinking his, his hot piss.

[Henry Zabrowski]

God.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Did you use the, did you use the, the community microwave for that?

[Henry Zabrowski]

God, it's like I'm in the room with Kid Cudi.

[Ryan Reynolds]

All right, so I got an update which this is a really good one. Man with MS, multiple sclerosis spent over $12,000 to be Gene Simmons roadie with his 13 year old son.

[Henry Zabrowski]

He got one Gene Simmons. We covered this before.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yes.

[Henry Zabrowski]

This program, this championship or, or whatever, this tournament where you just give him $13,000 and you get to be a roadie for a day.

[Ryan Reynolds]

$12,400 for the ultimate Gene Simmons experience, to be exact.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Do you think they yelled at him about the monitors? Do you think they have him dragging stuff back and forth because he had to bring his son? He was supposed to be roadie for a day.

[Ryan Reynolds]

He was roadie for a day. He helped with the load in. He was there for soundcheck. They got to eat some Italian takeout with Gene Simmons, and it wasn't even kids.

[Henry Zabrowski]

And he's just like, you're gonna want a Venmo. Request me for some of that ravioli you have there. Right. Just so you know. Shows the tongue. This is the best thing ever. I'm so sick.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Dwayne Rosado and his son Zach paid $12,495 for the experience.

[Henry Zabrowski]

And that $12,000, there's no way that could have been better suited towards something with his syndrome.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Right. Dwayne said he the father who purchased it as a birthday gift for his son, even though it's clearly it's for you, it's work. Yes.

[Henry Zabrowski]

And your olds are bringing him to work for Gene Simmons. And Gene Simmons is probably being. Just being like, you have any idea how many people would pay to be my toilet? Four I met for.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Oh, man. Dwayne said, you only live once, and I want to experience light life. I'm not going to take. I'm not going to die with a lot of money. I'm going to die happy.

[Henry Zabrowski]

That's. I honestly, I do agree with that.

[Ryan Reynolds]

But his fucking kids sitting right there.

[Henry Zabrowski]

That he's just like, I could have used some of that money, Father. I feel like $12,000 might have helped towards me getting a used car or something. My dearest father. Is that him just watching Gene Simmons?

[Ryan Reynolds]

Ye.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah. Is he yelling at him to work? Hey, you got to say, hey.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Hey.

[Henry Zabrowski]

This is Tenny. This is Ty. Get the sounds up. Get the medium amps up.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Oh, my God.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Man, he looks so happy to be at work.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah. No, they're doing it. They're wearing the gear, all that stuff.

[Henry Zabrowski]

And his son is embarrassed. Oh, he does not want to be there.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Maybe not. Well, they. Apparently, during their Italian food takeout from a local. Local spot, Gene Simmons was regaling the boy of how he lost his virginity at 13 to a married woman along his delivery route.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Cool. Wow. I guess you're right, Gene. It's cool to be raped. Wow. I never thought about that. Do you guys ever write a song about that? About how it's cool to get raped? Actually, we wrote several of those songs back in the day. Just lovingly looking on at that 85 year old man.

[Ryan Reynolds]

75.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Flat frog ass as he play. Is he. He's not even playing half the time. Most of this shit's like piped in.

[Ryan Reynolds]

He's the bassist. No offense to your basis out there, but come on.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Well, especially. Well, the Kiss bass lines are not necessarily. He's no Robert Fripp. You know what I mean? Like, this isn't. What is it? Crimson King.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Oh, King. Crimson King.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Crimson.

[Ryan Reynolds]

I love. Oh, that circus song is so good.

[Henry Zabrowski]

It is good.

[Ryan Reynolds]

The whole Lizard album. Get into it.

[Henry Zabrowski]

But if he dies immediately, that'd be incredible.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Ooh, Gene Simmons or this guy.

[Henry Zabrowski]

This guy.

[Ryan Reynolds]

I don't think he's going anywhere. He's got Ms. He probably could be around for a while now. He can't afford to die now. Now, I mean, he's spending all his money. I think he was a cop.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah. Get tracks, you know, it's just the idea of giving him money to work is the most obnoxious thing where you really feel like you could probably could have ended up backstage if you just found where he drank and told him you were a huge fan. Like I really believe. And I want to put this out here to anybody and this is including us here at last podcast and left. It's really easy to get backstage. You really just have to either act sick.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Wear black.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yes, we're black. If he just was like, I have Ms. I'd love to see your guitar. Someone's gonna let you in there.

[Ryan Reynolds]

No, I actually, I. It works better with just a head nod and confidence.

[Henry Zabrowski]

You don't think that, like, if you go and you. These people that you're sick. Like, if I went up to, like, obviously not somebody. Like, not somebody young. Like you're not gonna get back there with like a Taylor Swift or something. But like, I feel like if I walked up to Mario Speedwagon, very approachable. I'll stand on stage. Yeah. I think that if I went up, the manager.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Oh my God, if I went up there.

[Henry Zabrowski]

But I said that I even had a cold, I'd be back there hanging out. You know what I mean? Coughing all over the amps. And like, this is the. Because again, that's what generosity is. Or especially if you have big, huge gray tits.

[Ryan Reynolds]

It really helps.

[Henry Zabrowski]

It super help.

[Ryan Reynolds]

And if you're an old.

[Henry Zabrowski]

But not as a guy, not as a man, though, unfortunately.

[Ryan Reynolds]

You never know these days.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I'm at. Well, yeah, I meant I wore that bra yesterday for the good Good pud weed episode that's coming out. And I really did feel you put.

[Ryan Reynolds]

On a bra for good. The weed episode To.

[Henry Zabrowski]

To. Jackie and I are doing a new tradition where we're doing a switcheroo.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Okay.

[Henry Zabrowski]

So I had to dress like her.

[Ryan Reynolds]

And she had to dress like you.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yes.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Oh, that's good for her.

[Henry Zabrowski]

And I had to go buy costumes, so I went around.

[Ryan Reynolds]

You wear mesh?

[Henry Zabrowski]

No, I just got a dress. I'm gonna say it's hard to find a triple XL mesh. And so I went out there and I found some stuff. Like, not on the Internet, but I went and found some. And the people were so nice to me. Like, I was buying a dress, and this lady was like, are you sure that. That this is your size? And she was being so sweet, like, obviously trying to help me, like, my transition or whatever. And I was like, no, no, no, no, no, no. This is to make fun of women. Like, this is like it used to be. Yeah. I don't even understand. This is how it used to be in a simpler time where a man would make fun of a woman by dressing at her and going, I would never in a million years. And she didn't even know how to react to that.

[Ryan Reynolds]

That. Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

But then I explained to her, I'm grieving. I have f. I have four more weeks of being deeply offensive.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah, no, you do. I thought you had almost four and a half weeks.

[Henry Zabrowski]

It's been a couple weeks since.

[Ryan Reynolds]

A couple weeks.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I've been told. Oh, Natalie keeps pointing to the calendar.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Wow.

[Henry Zabrowski]

This is your cut off.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah, it is your cut off.

[Henry Zabrowski]

This is your cut off. You've been saying some grieving things because, again, I'm grieving.

[Ryan Reynolds]

I think she should be supporting you during your grief.

[Henry Zabrowski]

She knows that if she supports me too much, I won't be as offensive as I need.

[Ryan Reynolds]

She should be your brassiere.

[Henry Zabrowski]

What do you mean?

[Ryan Reynolds]

Well, you're.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Oh, spiritually.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah. Your spiritual brassiere.

[Henry Zabrowski]

After wearing one for a half an hour, never again.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Really?

[Henry Zabrowski]

I don't think beer. I think tits should be free.

[Ryan Reynolds]

You think so?

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah. I know some ladies say, apparently it's better to feel it. You want to hike them up. And I do feel like that, too, in a way.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Well, I don't like boxer shorts for that reason.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Same thing I don't like.

[Ryan Reynolds]

I like boxer briefs. I like giving them a little support to the boy.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Hoist. Yeah. So, like, hoist. And I do understand that some people need hoist if they're going around. It's what anybody's Thrill is if they're.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Big and sweaty and they might cause a rash.

[Henry Zabrowski]

No, it hurt. I had lines on me, my tits hurt, and we're hot.

[Ryan Reynolds]

You should have got a bigger look at my gun.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Wow.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Wow, you look great.

[Henry Zabrowski]

No, I don't.

[Ryan Reynolds]

I mean, you look better than I thought you would. You should put some stockings on, though, I'll tell you that much.

[Henry Zabrowski]

No, I wanted people to see my Bavarian legs.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Jackie doesn't wear. See, you're good in heels.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah, I can run heels. I could run Jackie. I could run around Jackie in circles and heels.

[Ryan Reynolds]

People really don't know that about you. Is Henry's better in heels than most women. It's really pretty surprising.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I'm pretty good.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Natalie saw it.

[Ryan Reynolds]

She got.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Was kind of shocked. Speaking of, there was a. I wanted one other quick update. I completely forgot about this.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Cool. Let's hear it.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Joe Exotic from jail.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Oh, God.

[Henry Zabrowski]

So, Joe Exotic, this update is pretty wonderful. So he got married in jail to a Mexican gentleman that in a bid to get President Trump's attention for a pardon, he ratted out to ice. So his new husband, who was then released from jail, was immediately deported to Mexico.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Joe Exotic ratted him?

[Henry Zabrowski]

Ratted the guy, his own husband out to ice.

[Ryan Reynolds]

I didn't know that part of the story.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yep, got him deported. Now he's going to President Trump in the saddest series of tweets I've seen, which he still has access to. It's really past time to have one of your people watch Tiger King Season 2, where they all admitted to perjury and plot to kill me on world television and let me out. Now, I know you are not fond of my lifestyle, but I supported you. Just allow me to go to Mexico with my husband.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Whoa.

[Henry Zabrowski]

So he's like saying he's a tactic, that he deported him to Mexico, I'll tell you what. So that he could go be with him in Mexico after the fact. According to Joe Exotic, the private zoo.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Sector in Mexico, I'm sure, is a little more loosey goosey than ours.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Dude, I bet you there's not even. I bet you they're. Some of them are so private that they are public. You know what I mean? We're just free range tigers.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah. So Joe Exotic, rough day getting around the ass. Agents didn't understand why he got sent back so fast. He had a hearing scheduled for tomorrow. Hey, Donald Trump, just let me go to Mexico and you can keep Carol Bass asking you caper.

[Ryan Reynolds]

So Joe wrote it ratted out his husband?

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yes.

[Ryan Reynolds]

And did they get actual married or is it just like does he call him his husband?

[Henry Zabrowski]

I. That I don't know. Here's another post marriage.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Shouldn't he be allowed to stay?

[Henry Zabrowski]

No, not anymore. They're getting rid of all the stuff so Joe. Exotic. You know I could die tomorrow and I could do and I could go. Knowing what true love was really all about. Jorge gave me the most loving and devoted 10 months of my life. I pray God will give me the chance to experience life with him again. I went outside today and it was hard but truly amazing how many people and gangs came up to me to check to see how I was holding up since he left. You know, they all respected us because we weren't the typical gay people just causing drama and bed hopping. They saw that we were real and serious about our devotion to each other which is amazing that some of us are the worst of the worst of society has to offer us all that in us.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Isn't that nice?

[Henry Zabrowski]

The prison could have been much harder about it. But you know, for the most part I have to say they were pretty cool about us being side by side every day. We need to get some serious campaigns going to get Trump to let me go no matter where I am. I'm fine with Mexico or America as long as I spend my last days with my.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Oh my God. Just set in the Panama.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yep.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Salvador Rather.

[Henry Zabrowski]

He just had to go bulk. He's looking for. He was. He's angling on a pardon. P. Diddy's defense team is already angling for a pardon from Trump.

[Ryan Reynolds]

But don't they. Aren't there state charges in there?

[Henry Zabrowski]

Doesn't matter. They'll pardon the rest of them.

[Ryan Reynolds]

They can't. Yeah but they're still going to be in there forever if they get.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Well, those are the hardest charges to get on P Did he. The worst part about the P Did he trial is the. It's. To be honest, it's so depressing. It's extremely depressing to watch. It's not a fun trial like the Lori Valo Debel trial. It basically is constantly asking you, constantly asking you to ask the question of what's a victim and what's a co conspirator and. And these women are getting torn apart on the stands going up there selling, spilling their whole lives. But they also like they did technically say a bunch of different stuff to a bunch of different people. And now like the hardest part is proving all the racketeering charges which is this idea that P. Diddy was doing this before a certain number of other criminalities like he was doing. He was trafficking humans. He was also selling drugs and he was. And you have to put it all together in one. He very well may beat the state charges. He might get other charges in there. He might get a couple of years and then Trump can just lop it off the top because he's specifically taking money for pardons.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah. Racketeering takes a long time to prove. Like it takes like almost a decade to put together the case.

[Henry Zabrowski]

And they rushed this case. Yeah, they rushed this case. So I have no idea what's going to happen until we have weeks left. This. I want to say this is week two of the P. Diddy trial and.

[Ryan Reynolds]

They said that eight weeks, six weeks of, of witnesses. The prosecution has. So that's going to be a lot.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Oh yeah.

[Ryan Reynolds]

So that's the same fighting for a pardon. Derek. Derek Chauvin isn't that crazy?

[Henry Zabrowski]

Well, he's one of those.

[Ryan Reynolds]

He's still got state and so he'll still have to stay in even though.

[Henry Zabrowski]

He has got state one. Yeah, he's got 20 year state charges.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Also.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Derek Chauvin should be lucky he's in jail.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yes.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Because I feel like he can be isolated.

[Ryan Reynolds]

That would be street justice.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I think that would have a target it on his back for the rest of his life and that piece of deserves it.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Absolutely.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Him. Derek Chalvin. I hope that, I hope that they are chasing him around jail right now.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Put him in jetpack. Get him. Come out. Get him. This one's kind of an update. Do you mind if I take one real quick?

[Henry Zabrowski]

Sure.

[Ryan Reynolds]

So remember when I was talking about a couple probably like two or three months ago about the Haitian gangs that killed like hundreds of old people because they thought that they like put. That old people were witches and they put curse on the, on the gang member leaders.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yes, kid.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Well, there has been retribution for this. I haven't really covered the story as much as I wish I, I have but. So a Haitian woman who had lost family members to violent criminal gangs took her revenge by poisoning 40 gang members with tainted empanadas. So she straight up up killed.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah.

[Ryan Reynolds]

40 gang members with. And she'd been like out there. They killed her family.

[Henry Zabrowski]

They said apparently what she did was that she was local. She sold these things for. I don't know how to pronounce it. It's called like pates.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yes. Yeah, pate.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Probably pates. There's something. It's a, it's got a bunch of different. It's got different.

[Ryan Reynolds]

It's essentially a Haitian empanada.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yes, it's an empanada, which honestly, I'm looking at them, they look pretty good.

[Ryan Reynolds]

No, I bet they're great.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I love an empanada. And so she was known as a lady that would like, serve the community.

[Ryan Reynolds]

She played it cool for months.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Oh, yeah, that's. That's a lady right there.

[Ryan Reynolds]

She played it cool for months.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Oh, yeah, dude.

[Ryan Reynolds]

And then one day she was just gave all the gang members free empanadas.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Oh yeah. She just, well, rolled up with a bunch of free empanadas. They were so excited to see it. And so she filled it all with some form of insecticide.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yes.

[Henry Zabrowski]

And then they all. All vomited themselves to death.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah, like full on.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I tell you what, though, that is not going to. Is lessen the suspicion of them being witches. No, that's for certain. It's not gonna make them nothing because that is a witch move.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yes. Well, they burned down her house and she turned herself into the cops.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Well, dude, that was the other thing too. She said that she ran to the police after she did it because she knew that she was a wanted woman.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah, yeah. Which is even like you're just hoping for the best with that situation as well, I'm sure.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Oh, yeah. They immediately burned her house down.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah. Yeah. So I mean, this is just a crazy.

[Henry Zabrowski]

That's a crazy thing, dud.

[Ryan Reynolds]

She killed 40 of them and they all died. I mean, it. That is just nuts.

[Henry Zabrowski]

No, that is like even the fact that it worked that effectively.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

It's kind of wild to me that you can actively poison 40 people correctly. Most people don't. And shows she really wanted it. And that really, again, if you. Every time you want to say you can't. You mean won't. Yeah.

[Ryan Reynolds]

So the. The gang members were of Viv, Anzinum and Zanum. They're a Port au Prince gang affiliated with former policeman term crime boss Jimmy Shazier. And he's also known as Barbecue. Barbecue?

[Henry Zabrowski]

Oh, yeah, yeah. The guy's name. This is the bad guy's name.

[Ryan Reynolds]

The bad guy's name is bar known as Barbecue. And then he burned down our house.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yep. That makes sense. I mean, technically, that sounds like his. That's kind of his M.O.

[Ryan Reynolds]

I imagine this woman ain't gonna last long, unfortunately.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Well, they are deciding whether or not, I guess to treat. To charge her with anything. They don't know what. They don't know what to charge her with, which is going to be murder. But then sounds like well, she going to end up being the second she's in jail, is she going to be be torn apart? Probably. She might have to be go away forever. She might have to go to another jail. I don't know what they do for people.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Send her to Canada.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Oh wow.

[Ryan Reynolds]

I think that's the only option. You can't send her here anymore, unfortunately. No, no, no. Yeah. So maybe like Canada can take her or something but you know, will they, what will they do? You know, I think that's our best option. We got to get this woman to Canada.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I think that, I mean it just sounds like. I mean she's still a murderer.

[Ryan Reynolds]

She's a vigilante murderer for sure. No question. She killed 40 people.

[Henry Zabrowski]

That is like.

[Ryan Reynolds]

So that's like she straight up killed 40 people people.

[Henry Zabrowski]

That's somebody you might want to keep an eye on.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yes.

[Henry Zabrowski]

But she also got nothing to lose and it sounds like she finally dealt with something that needed to get dealt with.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yes. And also I will say this is from. Is a very loosely written article from Oddity Central. So there might be some flaws to some of the things that I said. It's a short article but I. I'm not 100% sure.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Oh no, Eddie, don't question. There's no way that this four paragraph article from oddity central.com completely insane. There is no way that there is anything fake about it. Okay. I refuse to acknowledge that.

[Ryan Reynolds]

But either way stories of stories of story.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah, you know what? Well I don't let why we don't let the truth get in the way of a good story, Eddie.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Well please, honestly, if you know more about this situation that's happening there stories lpotl gmail.com I'm deeply interested in everything that's happening there.

[Henry Zabrowski]

It has a terrorist designation. Vivons Viv Ansam.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yes.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Is a part of the. It's considered a no.

[Ryan Reynolds]

They're completely taken over.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yep. That is a thing. Well also the problem true is truly now too is all what is all messed up because we, we have the administration that we have and they're kind of obsessed with other people's gang activities.

[Ryan Reynolds]

So.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah, well we will see.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Ms. 13 that could have been the guy who bought the Jean simmons pack for 13,003.

[Henry Zabrowski]

That's his nickname. Yeah, they're great. That's probably what he called him all the time. What was his name? MS.13 get him over here. You got him money? I want a sandwich.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Ms. 13 grand.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah, honestly, I kind of already spent the 13 grand. Yeah, let's talk to one of our. I want to talk about one of our major stories today, Eddie, which is Annabelle is out there. Here.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

And Annabelle's causing problems.

[Ryan Reynolds]

It's wild. She's out there, man. Lots of haunted doll stuff going down here.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah. I. I do want to say we. You know, I'm sorry I missed your Robert the doll presentation last week. No, nice to see him. Hi, Robert. You're looking good, buddy.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Thanks.

[Henry Zabrowski]

You looking good. Fleet week, huh?

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah, baby. It is fleet week.

[Henry Zabrowski]

And you gave him a little gift.

[Ryan Reynolds]

No, he has that. That's his doll. Because Robert has a doll. Yeah, that's right. Oh, great. See, I love Robert. I feel so strong, to be honest with you. Ever since I've made my connection with Robert, I feel like my life's been going great. I feel like everything's up and going. He's my new best friend and I.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Don'T have any dog still alive.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah. Both of them are still going.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah. You get. He's an ally.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah. Everything really has been great since Robert has entered my life.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yes. Except my father died. Well, I mean that's for mute, not for me.

[Ryan Reynolds]

That's your problem.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah.

[Ryan Reynolds]

It's different. I'm very sorry about.

[Henry Zabrowski]

No, but it is my problem.

[Ryan Reynolds]

It's Sunday the black lab and George Wendt died. So that is. That is something.

[Henry Zabrowski]

It happens in threes. That happens.

[Ryan Reynolds]

It does come in threes. It does come in three.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Just like. @ least it's over. So incorpor news. So Annabelle is on tour. Yeah, Jealous. Apparently she's doing Radio City musical. But Annabelle's doll is on the. Annabelle the doll. For those of you that don't remember, Annabelle was featured as the main antagonist from the conjuring.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Everybody knows who Annabelle is.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Hey, it. Don't treat him children every single time I'm. I don't describe it. Someone's like.

[Ryan Reynolds]

And I don't know what he's saying. Honestly, if you don't know who. Annabelle the doll.

[Henry Zabrowski]

How'd you find yourself?

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah. How did you find. If you are still listening, turn it off.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yes.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Just. We don't want you.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah, you know what? I'm done. I'm done with you. So Ed and Lorraine Warren's Occult Museum. Apparently other items from it as well.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Because it's closed. Yes. And like I think the Warren boy is taking around.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah. So one of them is get one last bit of money. But the issue was which is that every ghost hunter said, you know, we have a lot of conflicting stories because I've talked to like the new Kirks and people that are now more in the newer versions of occult thought. And the idea of cursed objects really holding any specific power anywhere is kind of like up to debate. Deciding whether or not. Like is it your belief in it? Is it someone's specific relationship with something? Does it all come. Is every single piece of paranormal activity coming from inside our brains? Yeah, right. And that thing is just like a focal point. Who knows? But every other ghost hunter said, leave Annabelle alone. Annabelle is in what you say it is. It shouldn't be on tour. It's like what they did to Amy Win House.

[Ryan Reynolds]

What do you mean? When they put her, she.

[Henry Zabrowski]

They worked her to death.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Oh, she worked.

[Henry Zabrowski]

She had a dark streak.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Oh, come on.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Worked it to death and she had a dark streak.

[Ryan Reynolds]

They worked. Ralphie made a death. Death. She did too many drugs.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I mean Ralphie may definitely. He did the. He did the non toxic version of what that lady did to all of the gang members in Haiti where he died by empanada. And I love Ralphie, man. He was. And he was a full on appetizer victim. And that's not his fault. That's. It's just where he got to.

[Ryan Reynolds]

He had problems.

[Henry Zabrowski]

He had problems. He did that. This is an advertisement from Better Help. Maintaining my mental health is crucial. Navigating our podcast network through the choppy waters of the culture war. And I just want to say thank you better help for allowing me to see further, see more clearly, hear more dearly and know the more dearly. Better help, I say. Day by day, mental health awareness is growing. But there's still progress to be made. Many people avoid seeking mental health of support due to fear of judgment or stigma. Thankfully, I'm immune. When people hesitate to get help, it doesn't just affect them, it impacts families, workplaces and entire communities. Much like how my family and friends got together to beg me to talk talk to a therapist. Let's encourage everyone to take care of their well being and break the stigma. The world is better when people are healthy and happy. BetterHelp has over 10 years of experience matching people with the right therapists from their diverse network of credentialed therapists with a wide range of specialties. If you've got that problem, they've got the person to talk to about the problem. Then you got to do all the rest the of of it. That's kind of the big part thing about it. But you'll figure it out. As the largest online therapy provider in the world, BetterHelp can provide access to mental health professionals with a diverse variety of expertise. We're all better with Help our listeners get 10% off their first month at betterhelp.com lastpod that's better. H-E-L-P.com lastpod at our X Bar, they believe in simple nutrition without the bs. That's why they said NO to artificial ingredients and yes to deliver intentional transparent nutrition.

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[Henry Zabrowski]

So Annabelle is. She's out there, right? So now she's on tour. But because she's on tour, there's been a series of events that have been in the same area where Annabelle has been on tour.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

New Orleans number one was the burn down of this, the Nottoway plantation, which was some big, big plantation.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

It burnt down while she was there. We couldn't. I don't know if she had gasoline on her.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah. Bringing Annabelle down, there is not a way to keep that thing standing.

[Henry Zabrowski]

No, no. I do nothing. How do you say this? It's not that I. I like the concept and look of a plantation home.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yes. Go ahead.

[Henry Zabrowski]

All the stuff with it.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah. It comes with package.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I like the wraparound porches.

[Ryan Reynolds]

I love a wraparound porch.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I love the field where you could just. You have so much room for activities. That's one of my favorite things about a plantation is just all the room.

[Ryan Reynolds]

You know, Are you allowed to build a new home that looks like a plantation home or is that also bad if it has no history? If it's a brand new home, but it looks just like an antebellum mansion?

[Henry Zabrowski]

Side story sell potl gmail.com yeah.

[Ryan Reynolds]

What's the moral code on that one?

[Henry Zabrowski]

Lastly, ask the audience because I've. I wonder if we can rebuild it to be a. And you could put up pictures of. Of Harriet Tubman. You can put up pictures of George Washington Carver. You can put up pictures of Cory Booker.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

All sorts of stuff on the walls to sort of show people I'm cool.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Right.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

But Annabelle's not.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Annabelle was not happy.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Well, unless this is super liberal of Annabelle.

[Ryan Reynolds]

I think it is.

[Henry Zabrowski]

She burned down the PL station. She's anti hate, and then also she liberated a jail. Well, this is the issue. So now there has been a. Tonight this gonna be jailbreak. Yeah, right. Yeah, dude. Somewhere in this town, tonight this gonna be a jailbreak. And so you better not be around because they're gonna group rape you. Now, this is different.

[Ryan Reynolds]

This story, it's a jailbreak.

[Henry Zabrowski]

This is bad.

[Ryan Reynolds]

They don't have a taste for butt yet.

[Henry Zabrowski]

We have to be careful with the. With this crew. Guys escaped from the. This was in the Orleans Parish Sheriff's Office.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah, the parish jail. The.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yes. The OSPSO or whatever. The opso, whatever. Because the Orleans Justice Center. So seven guys, very dangerous criminals.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Eleven.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Was it eleven?

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yes.

[Henry Zabrowski]

But extreme. Like, couple of murderers, couple of guys with some sexual assaults. Couple of guys. Like these are. This is a bad crew of dudes. They removed the toilet from a wall inside of the Justice Center. Ran out of it. But before leaving, they wrote the message too easy. Unspelled, misspelled it in lol. Yeah, too easy. Lol. Which is like everyone was laughing about it. Today they caught the guy, the maintenance guy that helped them. Yeah. That shut off the water. And now these guys are free. I think they got two of them. Them.

[Ryan Reynolds]

I mean, it's always changing.

[Henry Zabrowski]

But they had a 24 hour lead time because they spent. Oh, yeah, that's right. They did all this. They had it. I forgot they blurred out all the other stuff they said. They blurred out the we. They wrote we innocent. Someone says I'm innocent. They scratched out I'm. They wrote we, then wrote opso. Suck my dick ojc.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah. You know, Mo Most hated the guy drew. He was eyeballs on. He drew most hate. They had time, obviously, yes. Do a bunch of doodles. But the main issue is that the doodles are funny and the sentiment is fun. But the men are extremely dangerous. And the other problem is, is that this. I want to say this. Anybody. If somebody is in jail for multiple murder counts. And yeah, you're in jail with them now, like you're hanging out. You're a maintenance guy. You're hanging out with them.

[Ryan Reynolds]

One dude was tied to a mass shooting during Marty Grant, bro.

[Henry Zabrowski]

And that's the worst place to get tied to un. Not him. If you're working with any of these guys, you just got to know they're like not going to uphold their end of the bargain.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

If you believe in the men that are fueled by Annabelle's power that they are going to, I guess pay you money later on or they're going to hook up something for a family member after this for you. If you just help them out out, they're not going to do it. You're going to be left carrying the bag. These guys are. They were scot free for 24 hours. They had no idea they were there because they fucked up the night head count.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

And so they just fucked it up. And they said the guy whose job was to. This is true. The guy whose job it was to watch the night surveillance cameras. It was his one job. He left the office to grab a snack. I believe he went to raising canes and then went. And then left the cameras unoccupied and they just ran out. He's probably in on it too.

[Ryan Reynolds]

You know this other thing you're seeing.

[Henry Zabrowski]

There, they're all tugging on this one door trying to get out. And you see guys just walk past like I don't want to fight. And then you guys see other guys try to help them get the door open, which is really fun. But then they just stay.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Listen, I love New Orleans. I love. New Orleans is a wonderful place.

[Henry Zabrowski]

It's one of the best places on the fifth face of the fucking planet.

[Ryan Reynolds]

But here's the problem with New Orleans and if I'm speaking get a turn. I know I'll get my ass handed to me. They don't fix nothing. No, they don't fix anything in New Orleans. It's all just if it's broke, it stays broke until something a disaster happens.

[Henry Zabrowski]

It's deteriorating. Yeah. New Orleans is just. It's hard because it's a preservation.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Jazz hall is crumbling. It's called Preservation Hall.

[Henry Zabrowski]

It is. New Orleans needs an injection of cash. Ash that's not just covered in cocaine. And this lady is just really a very, very upset about the Susan Hudson who was the sheriff saying it's impossible to break out from the justice center without help. And so she's not wrong. But I also again to bring it back to Epstein. Is it a reminder? Bring it back?

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah. Because these guys are doin. Fully involved with Epstein.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I'm just saying that if I was watching one expert talk about Epstein and his death and they were saying if you walked into that prison where Epstein was, where we held, I believe, El Chapo, I think a couple are super high level criminals.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Well, he's getting his family back now.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Wait, thank God. I mean, we miss them. Like El Nino, his son La Nina, his daughter. And they, they.

[Ryan Reynolds]

His grandpa.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Papa. Papa. You see? And so the, it's again, it's like they said, if you walked into that jail and you said the most elite criminals in the world are held here, you would be very frightened.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Because it's falling apart. It's staffed by big fat dumb idiots.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Huge idiots.

[Henry Zabrowski]

They don't know what. They don't give a fuck.

[Ryan Reynolds]

They literally were going out for raising canes. They weren't even going out for good New Orleans food. They just got fast food.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Seriously, it's just a job. Like it's just a job to them. So this idea that you think that each person inside of a prison is the most devout warrior of justice, just understand that, that it's. There's a lot of lapses. Like there's a lot of problems inside of these private jails because they're specifically using money. Money to not. They're taking the money. They're not fixing the jail. Like the fact that you could pop the toilet out of the wall is too easy.

[Ryan Reynolds]

It is too easy.

[Henry Zabrowski]

And that's why it was greased by. Too easy. It was so easy. And that's the reason why it had to be graced. Greased by the magic of Annabelle. As now Annabelle is sadly and very frighteningly, it's on its way to Rhode Island. And I want the people of Providence to know you need to batten up your hatches. Whatever hatches you have to be battened. Prisons need to be watched extra and know that, I mean I. For love of Christ, I think. Isn't Rhode island known for hot dogs?

[Ryan Reynolds]

You know, I messed up. It's not Rhode Island. It's actually Rock Island, Illinois and I. It's Rock Island Roadhouse in Rock Island, Illinois. You can see right? Fucked up. When I read rock.

[Henry Zabrowski]

It's going to a place called. Annabelle is going to a Rock Island Roadhouse.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah. Cuz she wants to meet the ghost of Patrick Swains.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Who doesn't? Who doesn't?

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah, I think apparently can't dance her way out of cancer, so.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Oh no. So the haunted. Oh, so that's another haunted location. The Rocket Island Roadhouse.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Ah, yes. You see, that's fine. You can bring a door already. Haunted place.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

And that's Going to be Devil's on the run tour.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

October 4th. Annabelle. Annabelle is featured like she's the lead singer of Evanescence.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Like, I have no idea why they're like, Annabelle. It's like. It's not like she's singing a song or doing time. Right. She's literally just gonna sit in a little chair. And you got Josh Purvis. Oh, who are these guys, anyway?

[Ryan Reynolds]

Rock Island Roadhouse, October 4, 2025. Get your tickets. Lots of the awards. Occult museum's gonna be there. And the.

[Henry Zabrowski]

And he's some kind of ghost investigator. John Purvis.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yes, of course he is.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Is.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Why else would he be there?

[Henry Zabrowski]

Probably. I don't know if you'd be a doll guy.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Oh, man. I was asking Robert the doll about Animal, and he was like, that messy.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Oh, yeah. She wants it, but I don't need to get it. You know what I mean? No, I know what you mean. Robert, you got to be careful with these girls. You travel around. You're sailor.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Well, he's a lady, actually. Remember, he's got the ghost of a little girl inside of him.

[Henry Zabrowski]

But we all do.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yes.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Love you, Robert.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Love you, Robert. Love you. No disrespect. I love you so much.

[Henry Zabrowski]

No disrespect.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Of course. There's no disrespect.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Real quick, right before we get in here, this guy is. This. I want to cover real quick. The Casper cereal biter.

[Ryan Reynolds]

All right. I got another quick one after that. So you do Casper. Casper.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I believe this is Casper. It's Neutrona. I don't know what state this is in. This is in a bad place. Whatever it is, it's not good. It's a guy who bites people. Professionally. Now, this guy, this charmer by the name of Andrew Barrett, he was. He nearly bit the finger off of an Etronic county sheriff's office on Deputy Tuesday. And so he was put into court over Zoom.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

And he said that as he was. Was talking, he kept. Seeds are going.

[Ryan Reynolds]

He barked a lot.

[Henry Zabrowski]

He started barking and flicking his tongue in and out like he was a hot dog.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

And then he said that his. They asked him how he. You know, he said, he's like, hi, my name is Andrew Barrett. I'm a crocodilian. And they said that he was mainly. He was caught with marijuana and he would.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Caught, but he mf.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah. I think the math was doing the heavy lifting.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah. We don't want to give weed a bad name.

[Henry Zabrowski]

No. No. But sometimes weed. Why? Only makes me. Makes you hungry.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Banner Wyoming Medical center.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Sometimes you just get fucking hungry, dude.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah. Oh, yeah. I could see it being munchies when.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I see a fucking cop with big thick old sausage fingers. Sometimes he's like, give us a nibble.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Do you think Keeps mustard in his pockets?

[Henry Zabrowski]

I mean, it smells like it. Barrett's on parole for serving prison time for aggravated assault and battery charge. So that involved. His previous charge was in 2021. He bit the tip off of an index finger of a banner Wyoming medical center employee. This guy's got. Got the, like. That's jaw strength.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Serial biter. Yeah. I hope his dentist is like using this as good press.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Honestly, he is a. He's a heck of a. He's a hungry boy. A heck of a boy. And he's just trying to get a little chomp of a nurse.

[Ryan Reynolds]

So the cop's finger. Did you read about that? He bit the top of it and like bit down to the bone and then peeled back the meat. And so the bone was still there.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah.

[Ryan Reynolds]

But he like ripped off everything else, apparently.

[Henry Zabrowski]

It's a cool name for a cop to become Bone finger. That's fun because I wouldn't change. I'd never fix it. I mean, I just have that one little bone finger.

[Ryan Reynolds]

And you can fix it, but they.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Should lop it off. Oh, yeah, I think they put putty on it or something. Can you put a cap on it?

[Ryan Reynolds]

You have to seal the wound for.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Sure, but you bite it off and then if it's just meat.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah. I'm pretty sure you have to saw the bone.

[Henry Zabrowski]

You can't just side stories.

[Ryan Reynolds]

LPOTL gmail.com it cool.

[Henry Zabrowski]

You could put a little cap on it.

[Ryan Reynolds]

It would be cool if you could put a little cap on it. But I don't see how you screw a cap into flesh.

[Henry Zabrowski]

It just goes over like a big condom.

[Ryan Reynolds]

It just shoves. Sure.

[Henry Zabrowski]

And then what you do is. But then you pull it off when you mean business. Then like, you better watch it before I tickle you with my bones and guy.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Well, they gave him a hundred thousand dollar cash bond.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah. They said, can you think that you'd be able to make that bond? And he says, I'm just a guy struggling to get by. I ain't going nowhere. They're like, we know, sir. We know. They are letting him go. But that's what happens when he's. He's a hungry boy and he just likes a little chompy chomp.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Oh, man, I've never bit anybody.

[Ryan Reynolds]

You never been a person? I've Been bit. Chris Blakely bit me in the eye.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Really?

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah, during. Cuz we. He pushed me and then I hit him in the face with my baseball glove. And then he attacked me and bit me in the eye. And then we. And then we fought on the baseball field. I'm not. My mom was there and. And she was saying, he's got aids. He's biting my son. He's got aids. Yeah. Did he? Yeah, I don't think so, but he did die.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Of what?

[Ryan Reynolds]

I imagine he died of drugs, if I were to guess. But I don't know for sure.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah, I could guess that.

[Ryan Reynolds]

I know he was in some kind of a car accident and got a bunch of money from the settlement and. Oh, that's fun. Yeah, and that's fun for him. And got trashed.

[Henry Zabrowski]

But then. Yeah, that was a problem that seemed to be bad for him.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Is that him?

[Henry Zabrowski]

Some people can have money straight up.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah. Largo, Florida, April 30, 2020.

[Henry Zabrowski]

The guy that is literally the guy that bit you on the eye is that. We're looking at his obituary.

[Ryan Reynolds]

No, this isn't him. Okay. This isn't him. That's pretty.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Literally. I'm pretty close. Yeah, it's 30. He's 39. Well, no, that's it.

[Ryan Reynolds]

He would be 81. I think he was a year older than me, so he might be 80. So. Yeah, this guy's. This isn't the Chris Blakely I knew that died. And the guy I knew that died, died a while ago. Okay, so it's not him. Yeah. Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Not as exciting then, I guess.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Not as exciting, no. So.

[Henry Zabrowski]

All right, well, yeah, just don't bite anybody, I guess.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Maybe we should bleep his name. He's.

[Henry Zabrowski]

He's dead.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah, that's right. And he bit me, so.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Right. I have another story I was going to tell, but it's too sad to end the show on, I think.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Which one?

[Ryan Reynolds]

The one where the guy killed his wife and his two girls because he wanted a boy and she was pregnant with another girl, so he just killed everybody.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah, it's pretty sad. Yeah, you guys can read about that on your own time.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah, you go enjoy that on your own. And then also, if you want to just come by my house, I'll tell you all about your Jeffrey Epstein. So if you just happen to find my address on the Internet, which you can pretty easily, you just come by the house and see if you can handle it.

[Ryan Reynolds]

And if you want to have sex with some dogs, we've hired Jeffrey Pupstein. To be at the show this weekend.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Jeffrey Pupstein is not dogs. He's just bringing dogs that are willing to. All right, listen. They're gonna cancel the event. That's what's gonna happen after the. This is. They're literally just going to cancel me.

[Ryan Reynolds]

What are you talking about?

[Henry Zabrowski]

They're going to be like, why you keep talk. All you've talked about is a murdering dog.

[Ryan Reynolds]

We're selling dogs over here.

[Henry Zabrowski]

That's what I'm saying. I'm trying to create urgency to get the dogs. Yeah, that's like, just adopt the dogs. All the set of all the stuff I said about them immediately killing them is not true.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Prince Andrew's going to be there.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yep. My. My buddy. My buddy. Hey, just call him Andy. My favorite guy. Did you guys see who they caught, by the way?

[Ryan Reynolds]

Who?

[Henry Zabrowski]

The cucumber sex guy. Oh, the guy stuck but himself in the butthole with the cucumber guy. The cucumber. Yes. She got him. They got him. Wow. Hey, you know. Okay. Wow. Another. You know, I say.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Pepino.

[Henry Zabrowski]

They really were working on finding him. Him up.

[Ryan Reynolds]

How you say? How you say?

[Henry Zabrowski]

How you say? I saw me and Alec went for long walk the other day. First he tell me about the killy woman. And I say, oh, Alec, don't be sad. Today it's happy day. And I saw the man, the puppy, the cucumber, I think you call it. Cucumber. He said, oh, I make. He say he make a special Greek sign salad with his special home recipe, Taziki, that he squished inside of the cucumber. I love Hilaria.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

White woman.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

So I forgot about how Rachel Dolezal the other day. I looked it up for Jackie. I forgot that Rachel Dolezal had changed her name to Indeke Diallo. I forgot that that still holds.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah, I mean that she should have done that in the first place.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah, she should have. If you want to just lead with that. All right, we got some stories.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Stories.

[Henry Zabrowski]

A little backstory. I was 17 years old at the time, living in a small rural town on the Illinois side of the Wisconsin. Illinois border. You were living in Illinois. That is, anybody that lives in the Illinois border is living in Illinois. It doesn't matter what state you're right next to.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah, it's a good point.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Derailed. Very top. Nothing really there. Lots of corn and darkness. So it can be a pretty spooky backdrop to reality, especially when you were as smoked out as your gourd as I was. No weed for me now because I'M a firefighter. I think you could do it. Stone.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah, every Friday night it's half fire.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Like just light your joint and spritz. Yeah, every Friday night I would go hang out with my older sister, eight years my senior while her boyfriend worked nights at the local Chrysler auto plant. We'd get cheaped out, watch scary movies and make some munches. Some of the best times of my life. My sister's house was creepy as fuck though sometimes they bought it from a single seven year old male who from what neighbors said, would host Halloween parties for the neighborhood children with a spooky maze into the basement for their prize of candy. Or in my speculation, maybe some diddling that's on you. You never. People just like Halloween. Yeah, and they're not always molesting. Sometimes when they're molesting it's not on Halloween because then that ruins Halloween for them because then Halloween becomes work. They molest on Easter.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Still candy.

[Henry Zabrowski]

The basement had a weird closet with a tiny door for a peephole right where an average height male could look through for whatever reason. Again, he's just checking to make sure they only take one snickers. There was a small man made pond in the background and when we drank chained it, there was a marble bust of a head in a classic Greek Roman style tied with a chain around the neck to a cinder block. It's weird Chip. Weird guy.

[Ryan Reynolds]

It's probably taunted at some sort.

[Henry Zabrowski]

So this particular night seemed no different than any other night as we settled into our routine. Just me sis, her big cat with a feast of homemade quesadillas and many rips out of the bong. We watched a documentary on Mr. Unabomber himself. Then my sister asked me to empty the bong, place it in a closet in the back room of the basement to keep it out of sight of her stepdaughter when she came home over the weekend. I took the bong, emptied it in the kitchen sink and started on my way downstairs. I had to duck because the ceiling above the stairs was too short for me and immediately turned right. Where you can see in the living room area and against a far wall is a sliding glass door that leads outside to the Becky yard. Taking my right turn into a full 180, I walked through a utility hallway to a back bedroom where I placed the bong and a cardboard box alongside my other high school smoking essentials. I then headed back the way I came, thinking nothing of anything really. But then I turned my head to the right towards the sliding glass door and immediately froze. The only other time I felt this was when I came face to face with a moose while hunting in Colorado. What I saw moving in front of the glass door was a black, bipedal, dangly creature with bright green eyes about 3 to 4ft tall. The goblin, what I believe it to be, was almost scaly in appearance. And we made eye contact for what felt like forever. In an instant, it bolted towards the far wall, not towards me, but my feet felt fell. My feet felt like they were glued to the carpet. It hid behind the side of an old couch and I noped the out of there, hitting my head in the low ceiling on the way up. I immediately reported what I saw to my sister, who said I was just stoned and it was the cat. I refute her claim, immediately pointing out that the cat was sitting on her lap. There's no way in hell it would have made it upstairs without me noticing. And that cat is now 4 or 5ft tall. I tell the story to as many friends as people as I can tell. In the words of Henry, I know what I saw.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah, well, I think you got to smoke weed again, fire cop.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I mean, you. You might need to. Because I mean like, if you're seeing goblins on weed, dude, that's crazy. Yeah, that shit's free, cuz I don't. Yeah, if I want to see goblins, let's go to my algorithm.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah, no, see, that's the problem.

[Henry Zabrowski]

They're right there. Or I just walk the streets of Los Angeles, cuz I've learned to live every day knowing. Knowing that I am a goblin too. And I love my goblin community. They've reached out to me in my time of need. And I know that my father and I would laugh the goblin activity that I've seen and oh my God, he would love to arrest those goblins as much as any police officer ever could have arrested anyone. And I wish that for him. No, I wish that he could have arrested Tammy Hull. Oh, just for the sake of him being able to do it.

[Ryan Reynolds]

You would have been half Tammy if that happened. Happened.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Wow. Yeah. You think that she would have flipped that on my father? I think so. I think my father liked a softer woman.

[Ryan Reynolds]

I don't think you have a choice though, when it comes to Tammy. I mean, she gets her eyes on you, you're hers.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Her's a dick. We have big old plans [e-mail] Last podcast on the left. You can pay us money and you could see us do stuff out loud and in person and you can go to Twitch tv, LPN tv. We're now right now our streams are on pause. They are going to be back on.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Soon except for last stream and a.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Left that never goes.

[Ryan Reynolds]

That could never. That never goes anywhere that's going to.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Say the same no matter what we do. Go to last podcast on the left dot com. Buy tickets for our live shows. You have to Contact in the desert is coming up immediately and you need to come see it.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Oh God, you're dying. Come see it. Yeah, it's the last. It's May 29th through June 2nd. Contact in the desert to come out to that to Saturday night, the Renaissance re Resort. You're going to have a lot of fun. Henry and I are just going to be walking around getting drunk with a bunch of people with opinions.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Oh yes. But also know that we are going to be doing our comedy night.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Which is a first for them. Doing a purely comedy time. And we are going to legitimately. We might really upset them.

[Ryan Reynolds]

I think they'll have a great time.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah. I'm excited.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Well, we got Amber and Billy Wayne Davis are coming.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Oh yeah.

[Ryan Reynolds]

It's gonna be a blast.

[Henry Zabrowski]

We are gonna have a blast. Cannot wait to go see us at Contact in the desert. Also go to buy us buy tickets for [e-mail].

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yes.

[Henry Zabrowski]

That is for our true crime cruise.

[Ryan Reynolds]

That we're doing departs out of Fort Lauderdale, Florida November 3rd through the 7th on Royal Caribbean Cruise Line. So come enjoy that. And we got into more. We're about to announce some more side stories date. So keep listening and find out if we're coming to your city. Got some interesting towns picked out. I'm very excited.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yes.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Also I. I got an announcement. I got a show on August 21st out here in Los Angeles called Dead Men Tell Some Tales.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Oh yes.

[Ryan Reynolds]

A deep dive into Disney's dark history. That's going to be Thursday, August 21st at 7:30pm at the Elysian Theater. I'm doing the show with my buddy Disney, Dan Becker. It's going to be a lot of fun. We're going to talk about everyone who's ever died at the Disney parks and joke about it. It's going to be interesting. It's just in time for the beginning of the Oogie Boogie bash. So if you're going to that come to this as well. It's going to be a lot of fun. Tickets available on eddytunes.com yeah, come check us out.

[Henry Zabrowski]

You guys are. You're going to be fun. I Like this guy.

[Ryan Reynolds]

No, he's going to be great. He's going to be great. I wanted you to meet him at game that Orlando show.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah, he seemed like a nice. This guy. Can't wait for him to see. See his wares. Natalie likes him. Oh, Natalie thinks she enjoys his Disney content.

[Ryan Reynolds]

There we go. There we go. Crossover.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Crossover. All right, you. Thank you guys for all of your support. This has been side stories and it's been great, hasn't it?

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yes. Let's get those orcas out of their can. Do some work.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Somebody else do it, though.

[Ryan Reynolds]

I mean, someone else has to do it. They clearly abandoned them.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah, someone.

[Ryan Reynolds]

I. I mean, you know, honestly, I don't know who's going to fit the bill to get these orcas out of here.

[Henry Zabrowski]

You know who could use some really, really good press? Oh, P. Diddy.

[Ryan Reynolds]

P. Diddy.

[Henry Zabrowski]

And he's got the money. Yeah.

[Ryan Reynolds]

So I'm looking at you, P. Diddy. Do you think they drink baby oil?

[Henry Zabrowski]

I mean, they'll. They'll have to kick off summer with.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Memorial Day savings at Lowe's right now. Get five Scott's Naturescape and a half.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Cubic foot mulch bags for just $10. Plus get up to 40% off select major appliances and save an extra $50.

[Ryan Reynolds]

On every $500 you spend on select major appliances. $396 or more. Lowe's.

[Henry Zabrowski]

We help you save.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Valid through 528.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Mold shopper. Excludes Alaska and Hawaii. Selection varies by location while supplies last. See lowe's.com for more details.