Last Podcast on the Left – Episode Summary: "Side Stories: Back in Schabusiness"

Release Date: April 9, 2025
Host/Author: The Last Podcast Network
Episode Title: Side Stories: Back in Schabusiness

1. Alien Invasion: Top 10 Safest States

Discussion Overview:
Ed Larson and Henry Zabrowski delve into a listener-submitted list ranking the top 10 safest U.S. states in the event of an alien invasion. The hosts critically analyze the selections, questioning the rationale behind each state's ranking based on factors like terrain, population density, and available first responders.

Key Points:

• Virginia as Number One:
  Henry expresses skepticism, highlighting the presence of Quantico and questioning the preparedness of its "baby cops":

  Henry Zabrowski [01:41]: "Quantico. Or wouldn't they be available to fight them?"

• Massachusetts’ Inclusion:
  The choice of Massachusetts surprises Henry, who suggests less densely populated states like Montana would be more logical.

  Henry Zabrowski [02:28]: "I feel like everything here is the flip. I feel like it should be Montana."

• Florida's Viability:
  While Florida is argued to make sense due to its geography, the hosts discuss the resilience of alien technology:

  Ed Larson [03:42]: "And I bet their spaceships get caught in the swamps."
  Henry Zabrowski [04:12]: "They're trans medium. They go between water and mud and air..."

Conclusion:
Both hosts agree that no state is truly safe, emphasizing the overwhelming odds humanity would face against an alien invasion.

2. Lori Valo's Trial Update

Discussion Overview:
The hosts provide an update on the ongoing trial of Lori Valo, primarily known for her involvement with Chad Daybell and the tragic murders within their circle.

Key Points:

• Trial Proceedings:
  Henry recounts attending the first day of the trial, critiquing Lori’s self-representation and noting the prosecutor's strong stance:

  Henry Zabrowski [10:28]: "She's horrible to listen to. Terrible woman getting torn apart by the prosecutor."

• Evidence:
  The prosecution presents body cam footage depicting Charles Valo's fear of Lori and her erratic behavior:

  Henry Zabrowski [11:14]: "The prosecution loses."

• Defense Strategy:
  Lori’s repetitive and uncooperative defense approach undermines her case, potentially swaying the jury against her.

• Sentencing Discrepancies:
  Discussion on why Chad Daybell received the death penalty while Lori did not, attributing it to technical legal oversights:

  Henry Zabrowski [14:33]: "She did... technical fuckup."

Conclusion:
The hosts express confidence in the prosecution's case, citing the overwhelming circumstantial evidence and suspecting a conviction is imminent.

3. The Case of Taylor Shabizness

Discussion Overview:
Henry and Ed delve into the disturbing case of Taylor Shabizness, a 27-year-old woman convicted of brutally murdering Shad Therion.

Key Points:

• Nature of Crimes:
  Taylor's heinous acts include mutilating her victim post-murder:

  Henry Zabrowski [25:08]: "She chopped off his head with a butter knife."

• Incarceration Behavior:
  Taylor exhibits violent tendencies even while incarcerated, attacking a nurse and a prison guard:

  Henry Zabrowski [26:34]: "She attacks the prison guard with a pan..."

• Competency Concerns:
  Repeated assaults during trials raise questions about her mental state, though she consistently faces legal repercussions:

  Henry Zabrowski [30:10]: "She’s crazy."

• Prosecutorial Perspective:
  The hosts commend the prosecution's efforts to contain Taylor, ensuring she remains a danger behind bars.

Conclusion:
Ed and Henry highlight Taylor's ongoing threat, emphasizing her inability to reform and the necessity of her continued incarceration.

4. Listener Stories: Babysitter Terrorism and More

Discussion Overview:
The episode features chilling accounts submitted by listeners, including a terrifying experience with a babysitter and incidents of extreme misconduct.

Key Stories:

• Terrifying Babysitter Experience:
  A listener recounts a horrifying night where a seemingly normal babysitter exhibits violent and unhinged behavior towards children:

  Henry Zabrowski [68:20]:
  "I think kids are frightening."

• Ohio Polygamist Group:
  The hosts discuss a case involving Martina Jones and her five boyfriends accused of kidnapping and torturing a man for seven days, reflecting on their depraved actions:

  Henry Zabrowski [35:21]:
  "These guys... They are luxurious."

• CEO on a Cruise Ship:
  An incident aboard the "Resilient Lady" cruise ship where a CEO, Kenneth DiGiorgio, assaults a fellow passenger over barefoot dancing highlights issues of privilege and aggressive behavior in confined environments.

Conclusion:
The listeners’ stories underscore the diverse and horrific nature of human behavior, reinforcing the podcast's commitment to uncovering unsettling truths.

5. Cryptozoology and Extinct Species Revival

Discussion Overview:
Ed and Henry explore the controversial topic of resurrecting extinct species, focusing on the recent attempts to clone the direwolf and debunking its authenticity.

Key Points:

• Direwolf Cloning Attempts:
  The hosts debate the feasibility and ethical implications of bringing back extinct species, referencing the direwolf's portrayal in pop culture:

  Henry Zabrowski [51:12]:
  "It's just going to end up at Howlin Ray's."

• Comparison with Thylacine:
  Discussion on the similarities between direwolves and the recently spotted Tasmanian tiger (Thylacine), questioning the scientific methods used:

  Henry Zabrowski [55:06]:
  "It's a Tasmanian tiger."

• Public Perception and Scientific Integrity:
  Hosts criticize the influence of celebrity investors on scientific endeavors, suggesting it compromises research integrity:

  Henry Zabrowski [52:01]:
  "Jeffrey Epstein taught me that scientists can be purchased."

Conclusion:
Ed and Henry express skepticism towards the resurrection of extinct species, highlighting the potential for scientific misuse and the blurred lines between reality and fiction in cryptozoology.

6. Upcoming Live Shows and Events

Discussion Overview:
The hosts promote their upcoming live shows across various locations, encouraging listeners to attend for a unique blend of comedy and horror storytelling.

Key Announcements:

• Fort Lauderdale and Orlando Performances:

  Henry Zabrowski [75:17]:
  "Come see Henry and I do side Stories Live on May 7th at the Fort Lauderdale Daniel Improv."

• Atlanta Show at Coca Cola Roxy:

  Ed Larson [75:45]:
  "We're going to be there on May 29th."

• Key West Comedy Tour:

  Ed Larson [76:27]:
  "We're going to be in Key West... Coming up."

Conclusion:
Listeners are encouraged to join The Last Podcast on the Left for live, interactive experiences that promise a continuation of their signature dark humor and gripping narratives.

Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• On Alien Invasion Preparedness:

  Henry Zabrowski [02:40]: "If they're biological and if they've arrived here a ship, we are all. The entire amount of us is entirely screwed."

• On Lori Valo’s Trial:

  Henry Zabrowski [10:28]: "She's horrible to listen to. Terrible woman getting torn apart by the prosecutor."

• On Taylor Shabizness’ Violence:

  Henry Zabrowski [25:08]: "She chopped off his head with a butter knife."

• On the Babysitter Story:

  Henry Zabrowski [68:07]: "Some kids throw tantrums, some break rules but every now and then you meet one who looks at you with calm eyes and chaos behind them."

• On Cloning Extinct Species:

  Henry Zabrowski [51:12]: "It's just going to end up at Howlin Ray's."

Conclusion

"Side Stories: Back in Schabusiness" offers a compelling mix of true crime updates, listener-submitted horror stories, and thought-provoking discussions on topics ranging from alien invasions to the ethics of scientific advancements. Hosts Ed Larson and Henry Zabrowski maintain their signature dark humor and analytical approach, providing listeners with both entertainment and chilling insights into the darker aspects of human and extraterrestrial behavior.

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