Side Stories: Bagpipes & Body Bags - Last Podcast On The Left

Summary7 min read

Last Podcast On The Left
Episode Title: Side Stories: Bagpipes & Body Bags
Release Date: April 2, 2025

Introduction to Side Stories

In this episode of Last Podcast On The Left, hosts Henry Zebrowski and Eddie Larson delve into various bizarre and macabre side stories that captivate their audience's dark curiosity. Skipping the typical advertisements and intros, the hosts jump straight into the unsettling and often humorous tales that define their unique brand of horror and comedy.

Tribute to Rambo: The Fallen Canine

The episode begins with Eddie Larson sharing the heartbreaking news of his dog, Rambo's, passing. The nostalgic and emotional segment serves as a homage to beloved pets, intertwining humor with genuine sentiment.

Eddie Larson [05:53]: "Rambo was a good boy. He mixed it up. He had a great life."

Henry and Eddie discuss their personal grief, humorously contemplating unconventional ways to cope with their loss, such as showcasing Rue McClanahan's nudes or considering invasive methods to replace Rambo. This blend of comedy and tragedy exemplifies the podcast's tone.

Henry Zebrowski [11:05]: "Our sadness has to be purchased, Eddie."

The conversation transitions into light-hearted banter about Rambo's antics, including chases and interactions at events, maintaining a balance between honoring the pet and keeping the mood aligned with the show's comedic edge.

The Bagpiper of Decatur: A Scuba Tragedy

Transitioning to a true crime story, the hosts recount the mysterious death of Henry France, the renowned bagpiper of Decatur, Georgia. France, beloved for performing at significant community events, took his life during a scuba diving trip.

Henry France's Story [16:55]: "He extended himself too far... and he died there."

The narrative unfolds with details about his body being discovered weeks later in a treehouse, leading to speculations about the circumstances of his death. The lack of a missing persons report adds layers of mystery, prompting the hosts to ponder potential foul play or accidental causes.

Eddie Larson [19:03]: "He's just been up in the treehouse decomposing."

The segment highlights the eerie nature of the case, blending factual reporting with the hosts' signature humor and speculative twists. They discuss forensic aspects and the implications of finding a skeleton without prior reports, leaving listeners both informed and intrigued.

North Bergen Police Chief Farley: The Prankster in Authority

One of the most controversial segments covers the antics of North Bergen County Police Chief Robert Farley, who has been accused of transforming the police department into a "Hell's kitchen" filled with pranks and inappropriate behavior.

Eddie Larson [29:35]: "He'd send sex toys and gay pride flags to cops."

Chief Farley's behaviors range from spiking coffee with Adderall and Viagra to more sinister acts like jabbing an officer with a hypodermic needle. The hosts dissect these actions, questioning the line between humor and abuse of power.

Henry Zebrowski [31:26]: "They are suing him because he is just kind of... he's a monster and it needs to be gone."

The discussion delves into the impact of such misconduct on the police force's morale and public trust. The hosts critique the culture fostered by Farley, emphasizing the importance of accountability in positions of authority.

Henry Zebrowski [35:23]: "He's definitely a monster and it needs to be gone."

The "Peepee Bandit": A Biohazard Mystery

Another baffling story revolves around a man mysteriously disposing of gallons of urine in a neighbor's recycling bin. The oddity of such behavior raises questions about the perpetrator's motives and mental state.

Henry Zebrowski [36:26]: "It's a lot of pee."

The hosts explore the possible reasons behind this act, from revenge schemes to psychological issues, all while maintaining their characteristic humor.

Eddie Larson [37:17]: "I think the problem is that he's being asked to dump the piss, and you can't get one over on an infant. They can't speak."

Speculations about the culprit's intentions and the logistics of executing such a prank keep listeners engaged, blending true crime with comedic analysis.

Orca Gang vs. Great White Sharks: An Unnatural Predation

In a shift from human-centric stories to marine mayhem, Henry and Eddie discuss a startling report about two male orcas, Port and Starboard, attacking great white sharks off the coast of South Africa. These orcas have been depicted as a "murderous gang," targeting sharks for their livers and leaving corpses with surgical precision.

Eddie Larson [58:17]: "It's becoming a thing of the past because this is where they do it. They breach all the time."

The hosts analyze the ecological implications of this behavior, considering factors like overfishing pushing orcas closer to shore and disrupting the natural predator-prey balance.

Henry Zebrowski [61:48]: "We need to throw other things that seals can eat in there and then things that eat the seals."

Their speculative solutions, including humorous and absurd ideas like introducing anacondas and Chihuahuas, underscore the podcast's blend of imagination and critique of human impact on wildlife.

Eddie Larson [63:25]: "Anaconda Chihuahuas. If you, know, that's just a normal."

This segment serves as both a reflection on marine biology and a satirical take on human interventions in natural ecosystems.

Babysitter Horror: The Monster Under the Bed

A chilling tale narrates the experience of a babysitter who discovers a potential predator under a child's bed. The story unfolds with suspense as the sitter confronts the intruder, leading to his eventual arrest and the prevention of potential harm.

Henry Zebrowski [52:35]: "It's just a man here to kill us all."

The hosts discuss the severity of the situation, highlighting the importance of vigilance and the dire consequences of ignoring red flags in domestic settings.

Eddie Larson [56:39]: "He's got, he looks tired. He's got the bags under the eyes which look like, you know, I'm about to commit a crime."

Their analysis touches on themes of protection, trust, and the psychological impacts of such traumatic experiences on victims and witnesses alike.

Reflections on Misinformation and Media Representation

Throughout the episode, Henry and Eddie critique various aspects of media portrayal, from the questionable reliability of sources like Quora to the sensationalism in reporting true crime stories.

Henry Zebrowski [21:01]: "Only experts are allowed to answer on Quora."

Their skepticism towards information sources emphasizes the podcast's commitment to questioning and dissecting the narratives presented to the public.

Eddie Larson [25:37]: "I'm surprised she didn't float."

This ongoing theme encourages listeners to critically evaluate the information they consume, aligning with the podcast's ethos of uncovering and challenging the horrors, both real and imagined, in our world.

Conclusion: Upcoming Shows and Final Thoughts

As the episode wraps up, Eddie and Henry promote their upcoming live shows and tours, maintaining the blend of humor and horror that defines Last Podcast On The Left. Their enthusiasm for engaging with fans in person underscores the community aspect of the podcast, inviting listeners to join them in experiencing live renditions of their signature side stories.

Eddie Larson [79:22]: "Come check out those shows. We got some surprises for that."

In closing, the hosts leave listeners anticipating future episodes and live events, promising more intriguing and terrifying tales that cater to their audience's appetite for the dark and the bizarre.

Notable Quotes

Eddie Larson [01:24]: "I'm out."
Henry Zebrowski [02:01]: "But I want you to know my job is being here and existing..."
Eddie Larson [08:15]: "I let him attack one skateboarder."
Henry Zebrowski [13:26]: "I think he's in the podcast business?"
Eddie Larson [31:53]: "He is a famous. He's the bagpiper of Decatur."

Key Takeaways

Emotional Commemoration: Balancing humor with heartfelt tributes, particularly in the segment about Rambo, showcases the hosts' ability to navigate grief with levity.
True Crime and Mystery: Stories like Henry France's death and Chief Farley's pranks illustrate the podcast's focus on unraveling perplexing and dark narratives.
Ecological Concerns: The discussion on orcas preying on great white sharks highlights environmental issues exacerbated by human activities.
Cautionary Tales: The babysitter's encounter with a potential predator serves as a stark reminder of the dangers lurking in seemingly safe environments.
Media Critique: The hosts consistently challenge the reliability and sensationalism of various media sources, encouraging critical thinking among listeners.

Last Podcast On The Left continues to blend horror, comedy, and investigative storytelling, delivering content that is both entertaining and thought-provoking. This episode, Side Stories: Bagpipes & Body Bags, epitomizes the show's commitment to exploring the darkest corners of human and natural behavior with a distinctive wit and depth.

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Transcript887 lines

[00:00]
Ryan Coogler
On April 18th. Sinners are coming. From Oscar nominated filmmaker Ryan Coogler, director of Black Panther and Creed, starring Michael B. Jordan, comes the motion picture event of the year. Twin brothers Smoke and Stack, both played by Michael B. Jordan, return to their hometown for a fresh start, only to discover that an unspeakable evil is waiting to welcome them back. Don't miss the genre bending thrill ride. Shot with IMAX film cameras, Sinners arrives only in theaters on April 18th. Rated R under 17. Not admitted without parenting.
[00:31]
Henry Zebrowski
Halloween in April. You heard right. Shudder is bringing you halfway to Halloween because you shouldn't wait until October to feel the joy of horror. So get ready for a terrifying lineup. From cult classics like Evil Dead to new releases like the Rule of Jenny Penn starring John Lithgow, which Stephen King hails as the best movie of the year. Shudder on AMC is your streaming home for horror with spine chilling movies and series all year long. Learn more@amcplus.com.
[01:03]
Eddie Larson
There'S no place to escape to. This is the last podcast on the Left side stories.
[01:11]
Henry Zebrowski
That's when the cannibalism started. Side stories. Yes. No, actually, I quit.
[01:24]
Eddie Larson
I'm out.
[01:24]
Henry Zebrowski
I'm out of the comedy business.
[01:26]
Eddie Larson
Yeah.
[01:26]
Henry Zebrowski
Yep, I'm out.
[01:27]
Eddie Larson
You're in the podcast business?
[01:29]
Henry Zebrowski
No.
[01:29]
Eddie Larson
What are you in?
[01:31]
Henry Zebrowski
Mostly, I'm in the getting women adjusted to this body business. My goal is for men across this entire country and women transitioning to men to provide a base disgust level that will allow people to sort of like, you know, you look upon me, you look upon this body. Yeah. You, you look at my body. You say like, wow, how does that guy do anything?
[01:53]
Eddie Larson
Yeah.
[01:53]
Henry Zebrowski
Like, right.
[01:54]
Eddie Larson
Tie your shoes.
[01:55]
Henry Zebrowski
Don't know.
[01:56]
Eddie Larson
Yeah. Even open the door to your car.
[01:58]
Henry Zebrowski
Have no idea.
[01:59]
Eddie Larson
Put on a belt.
[01:59]
Henry Zebrowski
Don't wish I didn't have to.
[02:01]
Eddie Larson
Yeah.
[02:01]
Henry Zebrowski
Right. And. But I want you to know my job is being here and existing and much like people want to. And I'll say this across the board, I feel like a lot of groups are experiencing this right now and this might actually be a little bit even a heavy way to start the show.
[02:18]
Eddie Larson
Okay.
[02:18]
Henry Zebrowski
Which is I understand that entire cultures are being erased. People don't want to talk about trans people. But you know what's really being erased is the fat husband from sitcoms.
[02:31]
Eddie Larson
Yeah.
[02:31]
Henry Zebrowski
And that's what I'm here to bring back.
[02:33]
Eddie Larson
Yeah. No, you're part of the trans fat community.
[02:36]
Henry Zebrowski
No, I am fat. I'm just. I am. I'm fat. I'm. So, again, it's important to remember people like me the other fat guy who lost the weight from the Mike and Molly, did he lose the weight? Oh, he had to. I think the government made.
[02:48]
Eddie Larson
That is the thing. They all, you know, John Goodman lost. The way, you know, you get mad, but then you realize they were going to die.
[02:54]
Henry Zebrowski
Yeah, absolutely. I saw John Goodman walking around at Disney World once. Looks strange, but at the same time glad he's healthy. Glad he's healthy. But this is the thing. That's why I'm bulking back up.
[03:05]
Eddie Larson
Goodman's getting big again.
[03:06]
Henry Zebrowski
I just don't think there's anything you. Any of us can do about it.
[03:09]
Eddie Larson
Yeah.
[03:10]
Henry Zebrowski
You know, Kevin James is getting hard.
[03:12]
Eddie Larson
Yeah.
[03:12]
Henry Zebrowski
There's no reason for that.
[03:14]
Eddie Larson
Like his penis.
[03:16]
Henry Zebrowski
No, never. He can't.
[03:18]
Eddie Larson
He can't.
[03:18]
Henry Zebrowski
No, no.
[03:18]
Eddie Larson
I'm talking about.
[03:19]
Henry Zebrowski
No, no, no, no. I'm talking about just his body. He's trying to. Look at him. Kevin James is getting all tight and hard.
[03:26]
Eddie Larson
Oh, it looks bad.
[03:27]
Henry Zebrowski
Yes. I don't like it. I don't. But at the same time, I guess I am rooting for them. But I just want to say for Kevin James.
[03:32]
Eddie Larson
Oh, you like Kevin James?
[03:33]
Henry Zebrowski
I'm fine with him.
[03:34]
Eddie Larson
I love the one bit you like the Queens show.
[03:36]
Henry Zebrowski
My. Well, I love King of Queens. And I also unironically like the one bit that he did in his old standup special.
[03:42]
Eddie Larson
How I never seen any of.
[03:44]
Henry Zebrowski
He's all. He talks about. How he. His main bit was that I just was. Want to lose enough weight so that my tits stop jiggling when I brush my teeth. That is the best thing that he's ever said.
[03:53]
Eddie Larson
That is a good bit.
[03:54]
Henry Zebrowski
But that's why here, guys, I know a lot of you have been wondering, where's your representation? And I'm coming back with, yeah, yeah. My tits are always slopping around. My tits are. My. My tits are so sloppy. Some people just straight up call me Rue McClanahan. She a great titch. But if you. You. If you took Rue Mcclanahan and you threw her down a slip and slide, you. You don't mean to tell me she's not going to be all sloppy and gunky.
[04:17]
Eddie Larson
She was actually. She had surprisingly tight small breasts.
[04:21]
Henry Zebrowski
Welcome to Side Stories. You're here with your host, Henry Zabowski, and I'm sitting here with ed Larson, Rue McClanahan fan.
[04:28]
Eddie Larson
I love her. I actually. I've been watching Golden Girls lately, and it's all jokes. It's very funny.
[04:35]
Henry Zebrowski
It's a great show.
[04:35]
Eddie Larson
It is a phenomenal show.
[04:37]
Henry Zebrowski
It's A fantastic show. It really is legitimately very funny. But this is where I want to bring up something very serious that you lost your dog.
[04:44]
Eddie Larson
My dog's dead now.
[04:46]
Henry Zebrowski
I. I'm so sorry, but I. I wish that there was a way to do it. If we found. Are there nudes of Rue McClanahan we can show Eddie? I think there is. Wow. That's the closest we got right there.
[04:56]
Eddie Larson
There are a couple Rue McClanahan nudes.
[04:59]
Henry Zebrowski
If we could just show Eddie just one nude picture of r hand so that he can have the emotional strength to get through this episode.
[05:08]
Eddie Larson
Wow. She looks great in that picture, Rob. That. That is. That's. That's kind of doing it for me. Yeah.
[05:13]
Henry Zebrowski
All right, all right. This is enough now.
[05:15]
Eddie Larson
We're just getting tomorrow Golden Woman now.
[05:17]
Henry Zebrowski
All right. I regret that we did this.
[05:18]
Eddie Larson
You know what? If you really wanted to make me feel better, you know, Sunday, the Black Lab.
[05:23]
Henry Zebrowski
Yeah.
[05:23]
Eddie Larson
If we could shave her and I could see her nude, because that's who Rambo really got into. He was all about Sunday. He would, like. He would always make me go to her Instagram page and be like, yo, Eddie, I gotta lick my dicky when I look at Sunday the Black Lab.
[05:36]
Henry Zebrowski
Because you helped me Rambo masturbate.
[05:38]
Eddie Larson
I help Rambo masturbate all the time. And she's. This is her. She's still around. Sunday. Ms. Sunday. She was retired tired for a little bit, but she's still around. This is her in the bath. Oh, Rambo would have loved this. Look at. Just licking up that bath water.
[05:53]
Henry Zebrowski
This was supposed to be a touching moment. I was really hoping that we were gonna cut to I Love my Sarah McLaughlin track. You could play.
[06:00]
Eddie Larson
You could play Sarah.
[06:01]
Henry Zebrowski
Oh, no, we can't anymore.
[06:02]
Eddie Larson
We can't.
[06:02]
Henry Zebrowski
Yeah, no, it's all copyright.
[06:04]
Eddie Larson
Yeah.
[06:04]
Henry Zebrowski
Our sadness has to be purchased, Eddie.
[06:06]
Eddie Larson
But, yes, I. Yeah, no, Rambo died.
[06:08]
Henry Zebrowski
This week, and I'm very sorry for.
[06:10]
Eddie Larson
We had to let him go. He. It was very sudden, and he's such a good boy, and I love him. I'm wearing his handkerchief.
[06:16]
Henry Zebrowski
You did a good job.
[06:18]
Eddie Larson
I did. I did. He's a good boy. He mixed it up. He had a great life.
[06:22]
Henry Zebrowski
He did.
[06:22]
Eddie Larson
He mixed it up. He had a lot of celebrity pool parties.
[06:25]
Henry Zebrowski
He did. Yes.
[06:26]
Eddie Larson
You know, he hobnobbed to the best of his ability. I let him attack one skateboarder.
[06:34]
Henry Zebrowski
Cool. That's nice.
[06:35]
Eddie Larson
Also, if you want to pay tribute.
[06:37]
Henry Zebrowski
To Rambo, attack a skateboarder.
[06:39]
Eddie Larson
Well, I just been barking at him.
[06:40]
Henry Zebrowski
Yeah.
[06:40]
Eddie Larson
And it's do you be surprised how good it makes you feel?
[06:47]
Henry Zebrowski
Oh, no, I'm not surprised.
[06:48]
Eddie Larson
You know, like, I'm serious. Try it. Like.
[06:55]
Henry Zebrowski
It should be illegal. Yeah, no, If I could, I'd make your fun times illegal and I'd have the secret police go and arrest you.
[07:05]
Eddie Larson
Yeah, one time he actually did chase down a skateboarder and knock them off of their skateboard. And I was like, holy shit, Rambo's gonna attack this thing. I'm gonna. This kid. I'm gonna have to put him to sleep. But the thing.
[07:16]
Henry Zebrowski
The kid?
[07:17]
Eddie Larson
Yeah. Oh, yeah, the kid. Cuz he touched my dog. Yeah. No, but the. But Rambo didn't bite. He just wanted him to stop skateboarding.
[07:22]
Henry Zebrowski
See, that's it.
[07:24]
Eddie Larson
Because I could tell he had a skateboarding accident when he was younger.
[07:28]
Henry Zebrowski
He did. He did he.
[07:29]
Eddie Larson
His tail had like two, like, skateboard marks.
[07:32]
Henry Zebrowski
Oh, I thought he was trying to do the 1080.
[07:33]
Eddie Larson
No.
[07:35]
Henry Zebrowski
So it's hard on a. It is hard on a lab mix.
[07:38]
Eddie Larson
Yeah.
[07:39]
Henry Zebrowski
To do the 1080. They get so scared once they come down the ramp.
[07:41]
Eddie Larson
Can I tell one Rambo story before we have a normal show?
[07:44]
Henry Zebrowski
Of course.
[07:45]
Eddie Larson
I remember we were at the. It was the Alec Baldwin roast afterparty and pre murder. So you guys don't hold it against Rambo for being there?
[07:55]
Henry Zebrowski
Of course not. But. But you guys still, though, you guys had bulletproof vests on.
[07:59]
Eddie Larson
Yes. No, we made sure. We made sure. And so we're at this after. Or was the premier party, rather. And so it's like a pool party. Sl. Premiere party. And Ireland was there. Ireland Baldwin. And she. We all know how she is, but she's always got their fists up and ready to go.
[08:16]
Henry Zebrowski
Yeah. Because she's arming herself against her father.
[08:21]
Eddie Larson
So I remember I. I heard like, you know, because I'm cooking and, you know, I'm, you know, manning the party. And then I just hear Rambo barking like crazy. I'm like, I should probably check on this and see what I see.
[08:31]
Henry Zebrowski
Make sure it's not attacking Rue Mcclanahan or something.
[08:33]
Eddie Larson
Yeah, yeah. And then I see, like, Ireland Baldwin, like, pinned up against the wall and Rambo just barking at her, like, really intently. I'm like, oh, my God.
[08:42]
Henry Zebrowski
Ireland Baldwin.
[08:43]
Eddie Larson
No, she's, you know, like.
[08:44]
Henry Zebrowski
And she's like, oh, how I wish.
[08:46]
Eddie Larson
Oh, what a nice dog.
[08:48]
Henry Zebrowski
Oh, so good. Are you the big fat chef there? Oh, it's nice to see you. I'm just one of my daddy's little piggies.
[08:55]
Eddie Larson
Yeah. Yes, yes. And I was, I said, I'm so sorry about Rambo. I'm so sorry. And she said, oh, don't worry. I'm just like. I don't know why he's barking at me. I already gave him a cheeseburger.
[09:05]
Henry Zebrowski
Fed him an entire cheeseburger. Celebrities, they are not like us.
[09:10]
Eddie Larson
Yeah.
[09:10]
Henry Zebrowski
They just don't understand that you can't feed a dog an entire sandwich.
[09:13]
Eddie Larson
Yeah, she gave him a whole cheeseburger. So that was.
[09:15]
Henry Zebrowski
Set him off because he's never ate an entire cheeseburger.
[09:19]
Eddie Larson
No, no. If anything, I gave him just the burger.
[09:21]
Henry Zebrowski
Of course.
[09:21]
Eddie Larson
No bun, no cheese.
[09:22]
Henry Zebrowski
You're not supposed to give a dog white flour.
[09:24]
Eddie Larson
There was probably a bunch of onions and whatever in there.
[09:27]
Henry Zebrowski
And condiments.
[09:27]
Eddie Larson
Yeah. If I made it, it was, I mean, amazing.
[09:30]
Henry Zebrowski
Filled with spices.
[09:31]
Eddie Larson
Yeah, but.
[09:33]
Henry Zebrowski
And that's how you rile up a dog.
[09:34]
Eddie Larson
Absolutely.
[09:35]
Henry Zebrowski
But, you know, we just. We love Rambo.
[09:37]
Eddie Larson
He was a good boy.
[09:38]
Henry Zebrowski
He really was. And you did such a great job. And he is. He's the only. The only place I believe there could be an afterlife for is animals.
[09:47]
Eddie Larson
Yeah.
[09:48]
Henry Zebrowski
Because we don't deserve a second run.
[09:49]
Eddie Larson
I don't think there is. I'm pretty sure he's just. No, he's gotten the dust in the mail yet.
[09:55]
Henry Zebrowski
Wait till the hummingbird comes.
[09:56]
Eddie Larson
Yeah, I haven't. I haven't gotten the that yet. I.
[09:59]
Henry Zebrowski
So maybe they mail that, huh?
[10:01]
Eddie Larson
Yeah, they mail. They're gonna mail it to Rambo's. Done. And I remember the. The lady asked me if I wanted a paw print, and I remembered. I'm like, nah, I got. Because this last Christmas, we did a paw print on a Christmas ornament.
[10:12]
Henry Zebrowski
Yeah, that's really cute.
[10:13]
Eddie Larson
Which is really nice. I'm like, no, I don't want that. I got the alive one. Yeah, this dead foot. Put it in, you know?
[10:20]
Henry Zebrowski
Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, it's not.
[10:21]
Eddie Larson
It's not romantic.
[10:22]
Henry Zebrowski
No. I don't like that idea of you taking the corpse of my. Of my precious.
[10:26]
Eddie Larson
It's not my dog anymore.
[10:28]
Henry Zebrowski
No, it's meat now.
[10:29]
Eddie Larson
Yeah, it's a corpse. Yeah.
[10:30]
Henry Zebrowski
Yeah. Well, I'm glad that we.
[10:32]
Eddie Larson
Where should I scatter his ashes?
[10:35]
Henry Zebrowski
Dude, earwolf. Let's go.
[10:40]
Eddie Larson
Just get booked.
[10:41]
Henry Zebrowski
This is his last re. He just wanted to be on Comedy Bang Bang. None of you guys would answer his emails. We're throwing the. You're getting these dog ashes, Scott. Aer.
[10:51]
Eddie Larson
I just show up and I'm like, just phrase everywhere.
[10:54]
Henry Zebrowski
My character's a bereaved man who never got his son booked.
[10:59]
Eddie Larson
So yeah. RIP Rambo, you were the best and I will replace you soon.
[11:05]
Henry Zebrowski
Great.
[11:05]
Eddie Larson
Yes.
[11:06]
Henry Zebrowski
And that's important to know. The truth is, is that I've said this to many people. I, you know, and I definitely know that you have to have your feelings. And you will. You're gonna, you obviously process these, but I do believe that the best way to fix losing a dog is just, just, just get a new one.
[11:22]
Eddie Larson
Well, I gotta wait till Tootsie dies.
[11:23]
Henry Zebrowski
Yes.
[11:24]
Eddie Larson
I think I got an appointment for her to die in a couple weeks.
[11:26]
Henry Zebrowski
Cool.
[11:26]
Eddie Larson
So I think that'll happen.
[11:27]
Henry Zebrowski
Oh, great. Great, great, great, great. Going to play or whatever. He's going to do a whole thing. They're all going to come over and a guy's going like, it's time for you to see the reaper. That would be kind of cool.
[11:37]
Eddie Larson
Yeah. I immediately called my dog nanny and fired him. I was just like, you're.
[11:45]
Henry Zebrowski
Sorry I'm laughing about. Yeah, you're out of a job. And he's like, I'll, I'll, I'll spatula. Sit. I'll open. Sit. No, I'm sorry, sir. They, they already have their centers. So all of the kitchenware is well taken care of.
[12:02]
Eddie Larson
They're in my drawers.
[12:03]
Henry Zebrowski
I could, how about I just sit. Your weed. Your piles and piles of weed.
[12:08]
Eddie Larson
I mean, technically he does do that as well.
[12:10]
Henry Zebrowski
Yes. He's becoming a little bit of that guy that used to roll joints for Snoop Dogg. Yes.
[12:15]
Eddie Larson
Yeah, yeah. Except he's, you know, not Asian.
[12:18]
Henry Zebrowski
Way less paid too.
[12:19]
Eddie Larson
Yeah.
[12:19]
Henry Zebrowski
Way underpaid.
[12:20]
Eddie Larson
So. Yeah. So anyone knows a good executioner for Tootsie, you.
[12:25]
Henry Zebrowski
We're actually side stories. LPOTL gmail.com we're going to do a random poll for that. So if you send in as many emails saying you want to be the one to execute Tootsie, we will randomly choose. You just have to be within a hundred miles of Los Angeles.
[12:39]
Eddie Larson
Oh, also, just so people know, we did kill Rambo with an old vet. You know, we, we. I made sure.
[12:46]
Henry Zebrowski
An old vet to kill.
[12:48]
Eddie Larson
Yeah, I, I, I checked their ID. There were 62. That was, it was across the border.
[12:52]
Henry Zebrowski
Cuz in LA you can never tell. They can be 25, they can be 89.
[12:55]
Eddie Larson
Yeah, yeah. So I, I checked the ID and it was an old vet that killed Rambo. So we done properly.
[13:00]
Henry Zebrowski
Well, thank you, Eddie. Good.
[13:01]
Eddie Larson
No problem. Thank you for being there for me. Kind of.
[13:05]
Henry Zebrowski
I was.
[13:06]
Eddie Larson
You were there, you know, it was fun. You came by, I came by. You came by.
[13:09]
Henry Zebrowski
Yeah, we were there. The for the first vigil.
[13:11]
Eddie Larson
Yeah, the first. Yeah. No, that's why I decided not to have a proper funeral for Rambo because he had one a year ago.
[13:17]
Henry Zebrowski
We did the living funeral.
[13:18]
Eddie Larson
Yeah. Which is great thing to do.
[13:19]
Henry Zebrowski
I like it so much better. I'm going to have one. Yeah, that's made me decide. I'm going to have a. An alive funeral first.
[13:26]
Eddie Larson
What, 65, man.
[13:29]
Henry Zebrowski
58.
[13:30]
Eddie Larson
58.
[13:30]
Henry Zebrowski
I think 59. When you can cash out the 401k.
[13:33]
Eddie Larson
Is that the age?
[13:34]
Henry Zebrowski
I think so.
[13:35]
Eddie Larson
You have a 401k.
[13:36]
Henry Zebrowski
We all do. We have a pension plan here.
[13:38]
Eddie Larson
I don't.
[13:39]
Henry Zebrowski
Yeah, you do.
[13:40]
Eddie Larson
No one's told me about it.
[13:41]
Henry Zebrowski
Oh, we'll see.
[13:42]
Eddie Larson
I think I'm freelance.
[13:44]
Henry Zebrowski
No, your employee. Yeah, you're my employee. You're fired.
[13:48]
Eddie Larson
Great.
[13:48]
Henry Zebrowski
You're hired. But no, back on staff.
[13:51]
Eddie Larson
I don't agree.
[13:54]
Henry Zebrowski
All right, let's do some news. Let's do some news for some side stories. Now, the reason why we have chosen this story first is because it's the funniest headline of all of them.
[14:03]
Eddie Larson
It's very weird.
[14:04]
Henry Zebrowski
It is very confusing.
[14:06]
Eddie Larson
It took me like three read throughs to actually understand what happened.
[14:09]
Henry Zebrowski
I think that's because editorial writing is at its lowest it's ever been, but it is. This is a very funny headline. So here we go. The bagpiper of Decatur dies in scuba accident. Missing son's body found in treehouse. Okay, how do these come together? We don't know. This is where. This is where the mystery is. But it's pretty funny. So this is in Decatur, Georgia. Georgia. This is on Georgia. I love Decatur. I have wonderful friends that live in Decatur. I've my friend Jenny, who is wonderful effervescent costume department. We have Karen, Frieda. People that live out there enjoying them live, doing their lives. Love Decatur.
[14:47]
Eddie Larson
What are their actual addresses?
[14:49]
Henry Zebrowski
449. Marijuana Gleam. Yeah, you do it there. Oh, yeah, you can smell it. You can smell it. So this guy named Henry France, he's awesome.
[15:01]
Eddie Larson
I mean, we don't know. He might have killed his son.
[15:03]
Henry Zebrowski
We don't know.
[15:04]
Eddie Larson
But. But I do like his existence. He's played the bagpipes for everybody. He's played the bagpipes for George H.W. prince Charles, Jimmy Carter and the Dalai Lama.
[15:17]
Henry Zebrowski
And they all said stop. Yeah, but no, they were so excited. He is a famous. He's the bagpiper of Decatur. So he was kind of known as a guy that would be. He was a local kind of hero. Yeah, he would do all of these Events. Big funerals.
[15:32]
Eddie Larson
Lots of cop funerals, I imagine.
[15:33]
Henry Zebrowski
Oh, very much so. Lots of just straight up pub based funerals.
[15:37]
Eddie Larson
Yeah.
[15:38]
Henry Zebrowski
Anything that you need a bag.
[15:39]
Eddie Larson
Lieutenant Rodriguez really would have appreciated the.
[15:42]
Henry Zebrowski
We could some of this. We cut some of the glockenspiel. All right. Maybe. I feel like maybe the tube was a bit much.
[15:49]
Eddie Larson
Yeah. But I like to see a mariachi band show up to Sergeant O'Malley, SWAT.
[15:56]
Henry Zebrowski
What a night. What a night that would be. I honestly think that they love it if the first five Guinnesses every, by the end they're all gonna be like, ah, the Guantanam era.
[16:06]
Eddie Larson
That's what I like.
[16:07]
Henry Zebrowski
All right, there you get your dick, get your knees moving. But.
[16:10]
Eddie Larson
All right, so these Henry Doyle, Colin France.
[16:13]
Henry Zebrowski
Yes. Henry France Jr. So he was known quantity. So what he did was that he was in and out. He did a bunch of different, you know, he was kind of known, but he was 74 years old and he was super energetic and he did the thing that I, we warned about on one of. I believe it was a stream talking about the concept of when you go on vacation and believe you can do a bunch of stuff that you can't do normally. Absolutely. But because you're on vacation. So he went scuba diving. He extended himself too far. He, he complained of severe exhaustion. All of a sudden he wasn't with the scuba diving crew anymore. He was on vacation and he died there. And so they went, they, they packaged up his body, they put it in a bagpipe and he sent it back to Atlanta.
[16:55]
Eddie Larson
But that's one big bad pipe, big.
[16:58]
Henry Zebrowski
Old man shaped France sized bagpipe. Now they said that they went. I, I don't really understand what led to the call though. So now they, this was in Maui. They've. Now they've been the, the DeKalb County Medical examiner said they're working on the confirmation of the guy. They're pretty certain that it's him. They're currently like working on now this, the secondary investigation. So apparently is that they. The later on this date. Now these apparently are not connected, but we don't know.
[17:33]
Eddie Larson
Yeah.
[17:33]
Henry Zebrowski
This is on Henry France's property indicator. Indicator is that on March 16th. So he died on March 10th. He gets shipped back to Atlanta soaking wet. So crazy. Honestly kind of irresponsible because he's not an iPhone. So they, they said apparently they went to his home to settle his affairs. His family did. And then on March 16th they called the police and they said that there was a skeleton and our backyard treehouse cut to them. Find talking about that there was a missing young man. Now they said that their son, who went by the name of Henry Doyle Cole in France.
[18:18]
Eddie Larson
Yeah.
[18:19]
Henry Zebrowski
All right. He was missing for four years, they said. So the police were like, what. What are you talking about? So he's here. This is his skeleton. They're identifying his skeleton now, right?
[18:29]
Eddie Larson
Yeah.
[18:30]
Henry Zebrowski
But there was no missing persons report filed by the family. Had no idea that he was missing. The. The police had no idea that he was missing. The family kind of that we. We don't know this information yet. No one's really talking about how. So they were like, oh yeah, our brother's been missing for four years.
[18:49]
Eddie Larson
Yes.
[18:50]
Henry Zebrowski
And I guess he's been in here with the old porno mags. Yeah.
[18:53]
Eddie Larson
He's just been up in the treehouse decomposing.
[18:55]
Henry Zebrowski
Yeah. Hanging out with the robins and the sparrows and they're picking his fucking flesh off his mouth.
[19:00]
Eddie Larson
Now how clean was the skeleton? It was. I guess it's not in the article.
[19:03]
Henry Zebrowski
It sounds like he's been dead for the entire four years. Yeah, it sounds like he went up to the treehouse and never came back. Now it's one of those. When I throw a temper tantrum and I go to my treehouse, that's when Natalie comes out with the broom, pumps it on the she non times. She'll knock on the wall because I go, no, you know, let me do my box car race.
[19:24]
Eddie Larson
Yeah.
[19:24]
Henry Zebrowski
You know, let me go down to the.
[19:26]
Eddie Larson
You love that treehouse.
[19:27]
Henry Zebrowski
I love my tree. I got my rifles up there. I got my. All my stuff's up there. All my. My. All my favorite drugs, my Fleshlight, all my stuff where I'm me, where I myself is in the treehouse.
[19:39]
Eddie Larson
Free time.
[19:40]
Henry Zebrowski
That's. Yeah. Where Henry can be me free in the trees. I'm not being observed except for again squirrels and my neighbors and the people in my scope.
[19:48]
Eddie Larson
Now we won't know what happened or his connection to it because the secret died with him.
[19:54]
Henry Zebrowski
We have. Well, we're gonna find out now.
[19:56]
Eddie Larson
You think so?
[19:57]
Henry Zebrowski
Well, now.
[19:58]
Eddie Larson
Well, they're gonna find out if he had like blunt force trauma. I guess according to them.
[20:01]
Henry Zebrowski
They're saying there's no sign. There's no obvious signs of injury or trauma. So it sounds like he died naturally up there. And I don't know if he just died of a broken heart. Do you think that little Debbie decided to not go with him to the junior prom? I actually not quite certain how. 28. He was 28 when he went miss suicide by starvation. That's super long, buddy.
[20:22]
Eddie Larson
It is, but I mean, four years.
[20:23]
Henry Zebrowski
I mean, we'll find out.
[20:24]
Eddie Larson
We don't know when he. When he. When he. When he died.
[20:27]
Henry Zebrowski
What if he was super, super big and it took four years for him to starve?
[20:31]
Eddie Larson
I don't think it took that long.
[20:32]
Henry Zebrowski
How long does it take you to starve if you're really, really big?
[20:35]
Eddie Larson
I'm gonna go ahead and say two weeks, but only if you have water.
[20:40]
Henry Zebrowski
No, but I think that. But I believe if you are, like, if you're bmi, Whatever, if that's a. Or not. But I do believe you eat yourself a little bit. Yeah. I believe if you're level of obese, you can actually live for a. But you are.
[20:53]
Eddie Larson
But you are unhealthy.
[20:54]
Henry Zebrowski
Yeah.
[20:55]
Eddie Larson
And like, you know, your blood sugar could drop.
[20:57]
Henry Zebrowski
Yeah.
[20:57]
Eddie Larson
And then you could die. Die of that. Yeah. All right, what do we got here?
[21:01]
Henry Zebrowski
Or. It says here now, this is. This is on bigboy.com. this is on bigfatman.com bigfatman questions.org. if you simply stop feeding someone any food, they will die within. Drink water now. Because your body cannot get 100 what it needs from the stored fat. There are a lot of assorted proteins, sure, but what about when they're really big? Your organs will start to fail.
[21:24]
Eddie Larson
Yeah.
[21:25]
Henry Zebrowski
At eight to 12 weeks.
[21:26]
Eddie Larson
Yeah.
[21:26]
Henry Zebrowski
Sometime around.
[21:27]
Eddie Larson
I'm surprised you last that long, to be honest.
[21:29]
Henry Zebrowski
That's what I'm saying. I feel like it's just. Wait, you just. You, like, you can go solid. Two months.
[21:33]
Eddie Larson
I mean, in full disclosure, this is. This answer is on Quora, right? So. So this. This could be very wrong.
[21:40]
Henry Zebrowski
No, Eddie, no. Only experts are allowed to answer on Quora.
[21:43]
Eddie Larson
Yeah.
[21:44]
Henry Zebrowski
Don't you understand?
[21:44]
Eddie Larson
I want to go to WebMD, which.
[21:46]
Henry Zebrowski
Yes.
[21:47]
Eddie Larson
The really.
[21:47]
Henry Zebrowski
The really reliable source.
[21:49]
Eddie Larson
Yeah, yeah.
[21:49]
Henry Zebrowski
The truly reliable source.
[21:51]
Eddie Larson
But this guy, I mean, like, we don't even know if he was involved in this.
[21:55]
Henry Zebrowski
We have no idea.
[21:56]
Eddie Larson
We don't know if he. If he knew that his son was in a treehouse. Because I would if I had a treehouse and I'm in my 70s. I'm not going to the treehouse.
[22:03]
Henry Zebrowski
Kind of interesting that this man who played all of these various police funerals, he himself seemed to be avoided the same investigations. And I better wonder if it's a matter on the inside. The bagpiper of Decatur was protected by the thin line of blue.
[22:20]
Eddie Larson
Ooh, that is very possible. How about this? How about his son's. Like, if you don't stop Playing those bagpipes. I ain't coming out of the treehouse.
[22:30]
Henry Zebrowski
Well, if I hate bagpiping, I ain't breathing. That's the only way I can breathe is backpacking.
[22:36]
Eddie Larson
Trying to hold out. And he bagpiped longer than he could stay alive without eating.
[22:42]
Henry Zebrowski
But also think about. Maybe he died by bagpipe. And he was trying to say, I'm gonna play the bagpipe as you come out of the treehouse. And it is. And he's just up there just dying. Two months. Yeah, humans die around.
[22:56]
Eddie Larson
According to Wikipedia.
[22:57]
Henry Zebrowski
Again, it's huge.
[22:57]
Eddie Larson
Wikipedia says two months.
[22:59]
Henry Zebrowski
Not anybody can just change all the data in there.
[23:02]
Eddie Larson
There. Wasn't there one guy who, like, claimed he lived off of sunlight?
[23:05]
Henry Zebrowski
Oh, everybody. We've had their column. There's the. I believe it's. There's free energy.
[23:10]
Eddie Larson
Dr. Plant.
[23:11]
Henry Zebrowski
There's not Eritreans. It's something like that. Sun eaters. There's this. They do a thing where they believe that they can just get everything they want from the sun, but they always end up, it turns out, secretly eating.
[23:21]
Eddie Larson
Yes.
[23:22]
Henry Zebrowski
So this is a story we will find out.
[23:24]
Eddie Larson
I don't think we will.
[23:25]
Henry Zebrowski
I mean, I know.
[23:27]
Eddie Larson
I think this is it.
[23:28]
Henry Zebrowski
Well, I think that they're going to dig in a little bit of. How is a skeleton just sitting out? And you guys all had to stink, right? Not necessarily. Like, if he died quickly. Depends on how. What season he died in.
[23:42]
Eddie Larson
If he died in winter.
[23:43]
Henry Zebrowski
If he died in the winter, it probably. You probably might not have smelled anything.
[23:47]
Eddie Larson
I'm surprised, like, bears didn't get to him.
[23:49]
Henry Zebrowski
Maybe that's. Again, maybe it's hard for bears to get in the neighborhood because of. It's. You know, they're all in East Atlanta at Mary's.
[23:55]
Eddie Larson
Oh, yeah. The bear brood. Yes, the. Oh, yeah. Probably bugs then. Maybe he was eating my bugs or.
[24:04]
Henry Zebrowski
I think that he. Something fishy is happening and they are about to discover it. The fact that there was no missing persons report means something. That is. That is why.
[24:15]
Eddie Larson
Maybe he's like, I'm leaving and I ain't ever coming back. And they thought he went to Florida, but he really just went to the treehouse.
[24:21]
Henry Zebrowski
Maybe they're a little bit of Been like, Henry III thinks he's gone. He's just sitting in the treehouse and they just don't even know that he's dead there. You know, I mean, like, he's up there in his treehouse loving life. He must be super busy.
[24:34]
Eddie Larson
No one's taking the cereal anymore.
[24:36]
Henry Zebrowski
He didn't answer my text so I don't know but we will find out. They are saying that the pipe band though they are mourning the loss of the bagpiper of Decatur for now until we find out if he was a serial killer.
[24:50]
Eddie Larson
Who's going to play his funeral?
[24:53]
Henry Zebrowski
Oh shit, it's going to have to be that horrible, horrible Johnny Cymbals.
[24:57]
Eddie Larson
Yeah.
[25:03]
Henry Zebrowski
I hate that guy.
[25:06]
Ryan Coogler
On April 18, sinners are coming From Oscar nominated filmmaker Ryan Coogler, director of Black Panther and Creed, starring Michael B. Jordan, comes the motion picture event of the year. Twin brothers Smoke and Stack, both played by Michael B. Jordan, return to their hometown for a fresh start, only to discover that an unspeakable evil is waiting to welcome them back. Don't miss the genre bending thrill ride. Shot with IMAX film cameras, Sinners arrives only in theaters on April 18th. Rated R under 17. Not admitted without Parent what if you.
[25:38]
Henry Zebrowski
Could turn your curiosity for true crime into a degree at Southern New Hampshire University? You can. Southern New Hampshire University offers over 200 degrees you can earn completely online, including subjects like forensic psychology, criminology and crime analysis. And with low online tuition, Southern New Hampshire University makes earning your degree affordable, flexible and achievable. Find your degree at snhu. Edu lastpodcast. That's snhu. Edu lastpodcast. This podcast is brought to you by Squarespace. Squarespace gives you everything you need to offer services and get paid all in one place. Seems amazing, right? It's because it is. From consultations to events and experiences, showcase your offerings with a customizable website designed to attract clients and grow your business. Which is good because let's just say I need it. You know, as you may or may not know, I lost horsepix.com in a very, very public and embarrassing auction to a young man by the name of Charlie Bucket, who has decided to take my horse picks and drive it towards the right. Some of the incendiary horse picks that I've seen, including Steve Bannon on a Clydesdale, one of the worst I saw was Ivanka Trump inside of a mayor. And I know that this is not the direction that I saw. Horsepix.com and and that little boy, I didn't know that he'd become a full fledged Nazi and and grow his hair into broccoli shapes and do all sorts of things I don't understand. Which is why I've started Emu Paintings.com thank you Squarespace, because Emu Paintings.com are these really it's an exceptional way for me to get you Paintings of emus in various positions that emus wouldn't normally be. And in a way, I find it both amusing and inspiring to see what emus can do using the painter's brush and imagination. And if it wasn't for Squarespace, I would be absolutely effed to the gills. That's the term for being absolutely s out of luck. Squarespace, thank you for streamlining your workflow with built in tools because I would not have been able to get this website up fast enough due to the legal fees I've received and the personal heartache and my own health deteriorating. I just want to say thank you Squarespace for all your help and emu paintings.com is going to be just as good and just as funny and relevant. I promise. Had to squarespace.com left for a free trial. When you're ready to launch, use offer code left to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.
[28:37]
Eddie Larson
All right, well, we have. Speaking of police funerals, we're losing a cop in. In North Bergen County, New Jersey. Yeah. Yeah.
[28:46]
Henry Zebrowski
Now this story is one of those where, you know, if you took out all the people doing it and you took out the area where it was being done and you put it in a movie comedy. If this was a.
[28:59]
Eddie Larson
This guy's hilarious.
[28:59]
Henry Zebrowski
This is a Will Ferrell vehicle.
[29:01]
Eddie Larson
Yeah.
[29:02]
Henry Zebrowski
This is the funniest scene you've heard.
[29:04]
Eddie Larson
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[29:05]
Henry Zebrowski
But it's real life.
[29:06]
Eddie Larson
Yeah. And it was. It's this. It was a. I believe he was a chief police Chief police.
[29:12]
Henry Zebrowski
Now New Jersey police chief as being accused five of his officers of turning the. I believe it is the North Bergen Police Department into a so called animal house filled with pranks. Defecating on the floors, spiking the office coffee pot with Adderall and Viagra. And then he jabbed an officer in the penis with a hypodermic needle.
[29:35]
Eddie Larson
Now I'm gonna go ahead and say none of those are pranks.
[29:39]
Henry Zebrowski
No. He would go. He'd send sex toys and gay pride flags to cops and then he would shift them the night shift if he doesn't like them to the people underneath him. Now this is really seems to. It kind of apparently went out of control. Eddie.
[29:58]
Eddie Larson
Yes, Chief Farley was a.
[29:59]
Henry Zebrowski
Which is hilarious. His name is Chief Robert Farley. Now there's picture here that we're looking at that says Chief Farley's defecation, which was there was shat onto a series of paper towels in a toilet so that people next to the toilet so that when they walked in the dark. They would specifically step on it. Now he, he.
[30:20]
Eddie Larson
And he wouldn't let them clean it up because he said he wanted the maid to do it.
[30:24]
Henry Zebrowski
Yes.
[30:25]
Eddie Larson
Or the cleaners to come and do it. He wanted them to do it specifically.
[30:28]
Henry Zebrowski
Now they're saying here he has really been doing these so called practical jokes for, I guess for a couple years now. And they're finally suing him. It's taken a long time to su. This man. And it is just this picture. They have pictures of here, I guess like in a funny little thing of him shaving his arm onto a bunch of paperwork of another fat officer. Which is again funny.
[30:51]
Eddie Larson
And it's not the other officer's fault he's fat. He lives in North Bergen, New Jersey.
[30:55]
Henry Zebrowski
That's what you. You have to be.
[30:57]
Eddie Larson
Yes. No, no, no.
[30:58]
Henry Zebrowski
That's actually. There's a scale at the front. A county line. There's a scale that you have to step upon in order to even be able to purchase a home in North Bergen. Now these guys are again, they think it's real funny. They do a thing where they shaved. That's sort of funny.
[31:15]
Eddie Larson
He microwaved a bunch of hot sauce and then it turned like radioactive somehow. Yeah. And then it stunk up the entire. Everyone had to leave the police station. They thought it was actually sprayed by pepper spray.
[31:26]
Henry Zebrowski
I think that if you did cook it in that way, it would turn into something like a pepper spray.
[31:30]
Eddie Larson
He also put a ghost pepper on a hamburger that he fed to a one year old.
[31:41]
Henry Zebrowski
That's not good. Funny prank. What a funny guy. That's the chief of police.
[31:50]
Eddie Larson
Like one year olds. They don't even supposed to eat hamburgers.
[31:53]
Henry Zebrowski
They're just like. They're not in play for pranks. They don't understand pranks. They can. You can't get one over on an infant. They can't speak. So they. I do like this one. What he was. This one I don't understand. Or a guy. He said he called it a quote unquote prank. He said he was being chased around the office by Farley. He cornered me in a filing area with no further room for retreat. He then stuck a hypodermic needle through my jeans into the tip of my penis. Now, I don't know. I haven't seen that. I know impractical jokers is getting a lot of heat recently for the stuff that they've pulled off off camera, but I've never seen anything like this.
[32:34]
Eddie Larson
But all right. You have to let somebody do that. You can't get chased around and then a needle.
[32:42]
Henry Zebrowski
Oh, no, you go through your jeans. Yeah, you can.
[32:45]
Eddie Larson
Jeans are thick.
[32:46]
Henry Zebrowski
No, you can do it. He's being. He's jabbing at him with a hypertrophic needle. It's his. Yes. His penis is at the front of.
[32:53]
Eddie Larson
The meat that this one there was. He was either being held down by other cops.
[32:58]
Henry Zebrowski
That's possible.
[32:59]
Eddie Larson
Or he let him do it.
[33:01]
Henry Zebrowski
I just think you don't understand how your gut is. I don't think you could hide your penis.
[33:07]
Eddie Larson
I don't think with a hyper. Hyper. Hyper.
[33:10]
Henry Zebrowski
Hypodermic.
[33:11]
Eddie Larson
Hypodermic needle.
[33:12]
Henry Zebrowski
Oh, I can stab your dick with a hypodermic needle.
[33:13]
Eddie Larson
If I let you. If I'm moving around, I think you'd get my thigh or you get my something else.
[33:17]
Henry Zebrowski
I feel like he accidentally got the penis.
[33:19]
Eddie Larson
Yeah, he got the penis. Yes.
[33:20]
Henry Zebrowski
I'm not saying he was trying to aim for the penis.
[33:23]
Eddie Larson
Oh, he definitely was aiming. Yes.
[33:25]
Henry Zebrowski
But then he accidentally got the penis.
[33:27]
Eddie Larson
Yeah. I don't. I think the chances of him getting a wiggling man's penis with a hyper dermic needle through jeans.
[33:36]
Henry Zebrowski
Side stories. LPOTL gmail.com. how would you get a moving man with a hypodermic needle in the penis. In the penis. Through the.
[33:42]
Eddie Larson
Genuinely.
[33:43]
Henry Zebrowski
What's your foolproof way of doing.
[33:45]
Eddie Larson
I think with the jeans would help snap the needle off without it ever touching your penis.
[33:49]
Henry Zebrowski
But that. No, you'd be probably through that. Wow. Oh, yeah. No, it's not through the zipper.
[33:53]
Eddie Larson
You are my penis hides behind my zipper.
[33:55]
Henry Zebrowski
I think it's because. Eddie, I'm gonna mean this in the nicest way possible. I think that you and I have what you'd call. We're growers. And I think that some people have more. I think some men.
[34:11]
Eddie Larson
Honking tongue.
[34:12]
Henry Zebrowski
I think some men have more than this. And I think that the penis then can cover more hittable area.
[34:20]
Eddie Larson
Well, here's the other thing that the people are saying about the whole situation is that they don't think. The cops who are making the reports, they think they're just doing it because he cut their overtime.
[34:30]
Henry Zebrowski
Well, it's.
[34:31]
Eddie Larson
That's sure probably the final straw.
[34:34]
Henry Zebrowski
I don't. I think that it's all fun and games until you realize that he's also fucking with us. So I think that's the problem is that they're all like. They are suing him because he is just kind of. They're talking to. About him fucking with the schedules. But it did sound like, yes, they were all Laughing along when you're chief of the police.
[34:53]
Eddie Larson
One of his pranks is just a bunch of broken glass on someone's desk.
[34:57]
Henry Zebrowski
Yeah. He threw a plaque at them and he was just like they laugh, laugh you fucking pigs. Like my intro. But this, you know what it is, Eddie, is that the problem truly is that he's chief of police. And I bet you do have to laugh along.
[35:12]
Eddie Larson
Yeah.
[35:12]
Henry Zebrowski
While you are trying to act as if everything's normal. And then it finally gets to a point where maybe now we can maybe stop this. But it does thing it does seem that he did turn into his own playground.
[35:24]
Eddie Larson
Yeah. No, it was. He's definitely a monster and it needs to be gone.
[35:28]
Henry Zebrowski
But again, if he was one of my favorite movies, Super Troopers. So I do understand that cop based shenanigans.
[35:36]
Eddie Larson
Yeah.
[35:36]
Henry Zebrowski
Are funny to me. But only when they don't have real guns.
[35:40]
Eddie Larson
Yes, that's it. This guy, I mean who knows what his kill count is.
[35:44]
Henry Zebrowski
I mean God knows what he then does in his regular life. Yeah, but cops play pranks. It's what they do. But pranks should also be funny if you can help it.
[35:56]
Eddie Larson
Well, I think goodbye. Goodbye to this man.
[35:59]
Henry Zebrowski
He's not going to be working any. I think he's gonna be fired.
[36:02]
Eddie Larson
No, I don't think he can get any job after this.
[36:04]
Henry Zebrowski
No.
[36:05]
Eddie Larson
Not even like a Toys R Us.
[36:07]
Henry Zebrowski
Unless again, Joe Gotto is gonna have is gone. Soon to be Murr is gone. I'm seeing he could. I'm seeing a spot on Impractical Jokers for this guy. Oh, I'm seeing a spot.
[36:19]
Eddie Larson
Well, there's another prank in the news that I'm interested in. I don't know if it's a prank, maybe it's not. But the, the article says it's a lot of pee.
[36:27]
Henry Zebrowski
It's a lot of pee.
[36:28]
Eddie Larson
Yeah. A man has no idea who is putting gallons of urine in his recycling bin.
[36:34]
Henry Zebrowski
We don't. Or why. You see, we don't have a choice, guys. The amount of emails that were sent about this story ranged in several dozen. Now this is our burden. People a lot of times ask like side stories. Is it just about people living quantities of things in places that they aren't normally? Yes.
[36:57]
Eddie Larson
Yeah, it's a big part of it.
[36:58]
Henry Zebrowski
These are sides stories. It has become such a large part of our show and I don't know why, because it just keeps happening. Now this story is then sort of interesting because you're talking about like this is six gallon jugs of hot piss.
[37:15]
Eddie Larson
I'm counting Eight.
[37:17]
Henry Zebrowski
Yes. He put it in his recycling vent. Now it went to get picked up by the recycling guy and the guy stopped it because he said that this is a biohazard.
[37:25]
Eddie Larson
Yeah.
[37:26]
Henry Zebrowski
PP can't go in the garbage machine.
[37:28]
Eddie Larson
Yeah. Or recycling machine.
[37:30]
Henry Zebrowski
I did not know that. PP can't go in the. In any of these machines. Machines.
[37:33]
Eddie Larson
You could put pee pee in the garbage.
[37:35]
Henry Zebrowski
But also. Can you?
[37:37]
Eddie Larson
Yeah, sure. Why not?
[37:39]
Henry Zebrowski
So you mean, tell me if he just put this in the other.
[37:42]
Eddie Larson
I think the problem is that it's in recycling.
[37:44]
Henry Zebrowski
No, I think the problem is that it's a biohazard. They don't like you putting pee pee in the garbage. I think everybody.
[37:49]
Eddie Larson
Well, they don't like lots of things, but it doesn't mean I ain't doing it.
[37:52]
Henry Zebrowski
How do you say this? I think that if you're throwing out gallons of piss and you have that wherewithal to save them in big giant gallon jugs, I'd say dump them in a sewer. Or this is. They want you to hide it, Eddie. They want. They're like, lie to me. That's what they're saying. They're like, don't just like, yeah, piss all over the guard. Like you're gonna piss all over the garbage. That's something else.
[38:17]
Eddie Larson
Like, that's different.
[38:18]
Henry Zebrowski
I can't see it. I don't think that you should. I think you should give more respect to our sanitation workers. Oh. Because of how hard they work. And you shouldn't be pissing all over these things. But I feel that this is.
[38:29]
Eddie Larson
If I.
[38:30]
Henry Zebrowski
This is not how you do this.
[38:31]
Eddie Larson
What I don't truly understand is why save it? Pee goes into the ground so easily.
[38:38]
Henry Zebrowski
Not for this guy.
[38:39]
Eddie Larson
Sops into the street, it stops into the grass.
[38:41]
Henry Zebrowski
This guy wants to see the pests and he likes having it.
[38:44]
Eddie Larson
Since Rambo's been gone, I've been peeing outside in solidarity.
[38:47]
Henry Zebrowski
Just for him.
[38:48]
Eddie Larson
Just for him. So, you know, also. So Tootsie knows that there's pee outside and she should go to the bathroom.
[38:52]
Henry Zebrowski
Yeah.
[38:52]
Eddie Larson
You know, but these. This guy. I'm not putting in jugs and saving it.
[38:56]
Henry Zebrowski
No, you shouldn't go straight to the grass. If you were putting in jugs and saving it, I would call the mental hospital. I called. It's called. I'd get you, Baker. Actin.
[39:04]
Eddie Larson
Exactly. That's what I'm talking about. Why save it?
[39:07]
Henry Zebrowski
I don't know. All right. In a non medical setting, according to Google AI, if a jug of urine doesn't contain visible blood, it could be Safely disposed of by pouring the urine into a toilet or sink.
[39:17]
Eddie Larson
Just say toilet.
[39:18]
Henry Zebrowski
Yeah.
[39:19]
Eddie Larson
Don't say sink.
[39:20]
Henry Zebrowski
Yeah.
[39:20]
Eddie Larson
Why people, the idea.
[39:21]
Henry Zebrowski
What do you mean? If it doesn't contain visible blood, that is fine. What does that even mean? You can put that in the toilet.
[39:27]
Eddie Larson
Yeah. If it's you.
[39:28]
Henry Zebrowski
Yeah. If you have a blood. If you have a jug of bloody urine, though, I think you got a lot more problems than storage.
[39:35]
Eddie Larson
Do you think a bloody jug of urine, is it orange or does it have, like, red, like, mixed in, like, floating around?
[39:41]
Henry Zebrowski
I kind of see the red mix and floating around. Kind of like. You know those old ice cream cups?
[39:45]
Eddie Larson
Yes, those are delicious.
[39:46]
Henry Zebrowski
I used to miss that. I missed those.
[39:48]
Eddie Larson
I love them.
[39:49]
Henry Zebrowski
You remember. You know exactly what I'm talking about.
[39:50]
Eddie Larson
I know exactly what you're talking about. Yeah. With the little cherry syrup on the side. Or strawberries too? Strawberries, yeah.
[39:55]
Henry Zebrowski
Yeah, very. That's the blood.
[39:56]
Eddie Larson
That's the blood.
[39:57]
Henry Zebrowski
That's the bladder blood.
[39:58]
Eddie Larson
Now, do you think this is one person or do you think there's a team of people? Because this is a lot of pee.
[40:02]
Henry Zebrowski
I believe that it might be. Ah. It seems like it's a lot of pee from one person that has saved it over a long period of time.
[40:11]
Eddie Larson
Okay.
[40:11]
Henry Zebrowski
Now I pee like, you know, I take blood thinners and I piss like a racehorse all night.
[40:17]
Eddie Larson
Hell, yeah.
[40:18]
Henry Zebrowski
I piss and piss and piss and piss. I'm sometimes shocked at the volume of piss that comes out of me.
[40:22]
Eddie Larson
I got a lot of people, too.
[40:23]
Henry Zebrowski
And so I think that maybe. What's funny is that the guy also goes. He was caught on ring cam.
[40:28]
Eddie Larson
Oh, the guy who did it.
[40:29]
Henry Zebrowski
They've set up now several camping cams to try to catch him. This is a whole thing.
[40:33]
Eddie Larson
So he's done this more than once?
[40:35]
Henry Zebrowski
Yes, I think that the guy. It's happened now so many times that he had to start pulling his bins in, Right. Because he was sick of them going in there. And the guy just started dumping them in his neighbor's bins. And then he decided to say, oh, I'm going to reposition the bins so they are more able to be caught on camera.
[40:52]
Eddie Larson
Yeah.
[40:53]
Henry Zebrowski
And then when he did that, the guy moved the bins again because he decided that I. He knew he was being caught on camera. He showed up masked in a hoodie, dropping off the piss. Now, I think that this is a revenge scheme. I think that this man is pissed off. Somebody could obviously.
[41:10]
Eddie Larson
Could this man be the culprit himself?
[41:14]
Henry Zebrowski
You think he's. Do you think the calls come? Do you think the piss is coming from inside the house?
[41:17]
Eddie Larson
Yes.
[41:18]
Henry Zebrowski
I don't know.
[41:19]
Eddie Larson
I don't think. I don't know if it actually. I would take it back. Not. Yes. I don't know.
[41:23]
Henry Zebrowski
I don't know. I think that this is somebody that knows this person.
[41:28]
Eddie Larson
Yeah.
[41:28]
Henry Zebrowski
This is some form of revenge. This is a revenge for something that he. This person has done. And we don't know what it is. I don't know if it's a piss based crime. I don't know if it's a fart or poop based crime.
[41:38]
Eddie Larson
Yeah.
[41:39]
Henry Zebrowski
I didn't know whether or not it's because he had sex with his wife or he had sex with his daughter. But the only thing I will say is that this p. Vengeance. We need to think about this because, you know, you know, I even say eye for an eye makes the whole world blind. Piss for a piss makes everything absolutely covered in piss.
[41:58]
Eddie Larson
And that's not a bad thing.
[42:00]
Henry Zebrowski
Yes, it is. But depending on what you like, the.
[42:03]
Eddie Larson
The pp Pasadena Pee pee man. Whatever happened to him?
[42:06]
Henry Zebrowski
They catch him again? He just kind of. He got caught. Got again. Too much heat.
[42:12]
Eddie Larson
Too much heat.
[42:13]
Henry Zebrowski
Too much heat. This could be a copycat piss bandit. Yeah. Honestly, I'm gonna put this more so unfortunately, I'm gonna. I'm gonna put this in parallel thinking. I don't think that this is a Carlos Mencia thing. I think that this is somebody that. I think everybody's just thinking about piss.
[42:26]
Eddie Larson
Do you know that when I was on probation, my probation officer told me that I had the hottest piss of anyone on probation?
[42:33]
Henry Zebrowski
That's flirting.
[42:34]
Eddie Larson
It was. It does seem kind of flirty.
[42:36]
Henry Zebrowski
That's flirty.
[42:37]
Eddie Larson
I told him, hot piss. Yeah.
[42:39]
Henry Zebrowski
Long dick. And you're like, no, sir. Actually, you know, maybe I'm wrong. And it turns out it should be the opposite because then it's. The less time the piss can cool on the neck.
[42:49]
Eddie Larson
Yeah.
[42:50]
Henry Zebrowski
The shorter your penis, the hotter your piss.
[42:51]
Eddie Larson
Oh, yeah. So, yeah, maybe I was. By making my urine so hot.
[42:56]
Henry Zebrowski
Yeah, sorry. Next time I'll bring it in at 185. What do you. You ever do that thing when you go to Starbucks, you see a coffee and they go like, extra hot?
[43:04]
Eddie Larson
Yeah. How do you do that?
[43:05]
Henry Zebrowski
They're just. I don't know. They're horrible. People who do that are maniacs.
[43:09]
Eddie Larson
Do you know that if you microwave a coffee cup from Starbucks, you're putting microplastics into it because the coffee cups are actually lined in plastic?
[43:16]
Henry Zebrowski
Oh, of Course. So that's why I do it.
[43:18]
Eddie Larson
Yeah. Oh, okay, good.
[43:19]
Henry Zebrowski
They do. Just. Just to get closer to my laptop. Now that is the. Yes. That was one PB based story. We have one poo poo based story because they come together her and so unfortunately. So we're just gonna leave that at that. That mystery. It's not gonna get solved.
[43:33]
Eddie Larson
Also no surprise that garbage men look inside the can before they take you.
[43:37]
Henry Zebrowski
Never got a ticket.
[43:38]
Eddie Larson
No.
[43:39]
Henry Zebrowski
When my old apartment. Again, this is in Portland, which makes sense. I believe the other one was. You know, the other one was in Pasadena. P Towns both after P. Yeah, both towns start with the letter P. Oh yeah. You looking company for. Watch out Pittsburgh in Poughkeepsie. Watch out Punxsutawney.
[43:54]
Eddie Larson
Oh my God, they're coming.
[43:56]
Henry Zebrowski
Pisses coming to you. Palermo. We gotta. But no, it's not going to get so you guys. So many of you get so angry when we go into the poo poo peepee territory sometimes. But again, this is our burden. We don't have a choice. This is what we are paid to report.
[44:16]
Eddie Larson
This is the news.
[44:18]
Henry Zebrowski
If you don't understand how important it is for us to say. Because if you don't get this information from us, you're going to get it from somebody who's going to get it wrong.
[44:26]
Eddie Larson
Yeah.
[44:27]
Henry Zebrowski
And I think it's important for you to get it from us.
[44:28]
Eddie Larson
Yeah. And like what do you want us to talk about? The government? No.
[44:32]
Henry Zebrowski
You don't really want us to talk about the government.
[44:34]
Eddie Larson
No. We talk about piss and poop here.
[44:35]
Henry Zebrowski
No, but sometimes we do talk about the government, but largely.
[44:38]
Eddie Larson
But only when they commit crimes.
[44:39]
Henry Zebrowski
Yeah. Bad crimes, Big crimes, Better crimes, Interesting crimes. Interesting, boring, important crimes.
[44:45]
Eddie Larson
Yeah. Yeah.
[44:46]
Henry Zebrowski
Now this story is really just about a man's ability. And what I call this is. This is the first human squid. Okay. I've heard of a man by the name of De pac. He's a 27 year old phone thief from Delhi, India. Apparently. No, this is. No, I want to say he's bringing it back to old Delhi with this activity. According to Delhi police spokesperson De Pac, he evaded arrest multiple times by doing what he can only do. I guess it's his superpower. He can his pants on command. Now he said that not only could he his pants on his command, but the poo poo is so offensive and so effective that the police have abandoned their arrest efforts several times and have just let him go. And so he's done this several times. He's able to himself On a moment's notice.
[45:37]
Eddie Larson
Yes.
[45:37]
Henry Zebrowski
And that is incredible because very, very impressive. Much as we all do. Much as the octopus camouflages itself from hunters, much as the chameleon camouflages itself from hunters. And this is squid. This is a squid activity. He's squidding himself.
[45:54]
Eddie Larson
Yeah.
[45:54]
Henry Zebrowski
And then. And then he just gets to be scot free. But not his pants. His pants, they're covered in smeared old dookie.
[46:01]
Eddie Larson
He. He used. He was doing this for a while, and then the cops who arrested him came prepared with masks and gloves. They were like, all right, we're getting this today.
[46:12]
Henry Zebrowski
We know. All right, we're getting covered. And this is what we're doing now. I want to know in that. In that place now. Eddie was bringing this up. Maybe this is a good place to talk about just sort of the nature of this. Where in my mind, just being in. In India in general.
[46:29]
Eddie Larson
Yes.
[46:29]
Henry Zebrowski
Right. If I've seen these videos, Right. I watch all the street food videos, so they are part of things that get sent to me. My thing is that if you can control the flow of diarrhea in India, you might as well be magneto. It's very impressive because the flooding river of diarrhea that must. Has there been a solid poo poo in India?
[46:51]
Eddie Larson
It's possible.
[46:52]
Henry Zebrowski
Ever. I. I don't know.
[46:54]
Eddie Larson
Maybe the guy who, you know, only ate sunlight.
[46:57]
Henry Zebrowski
Yes. He'd probably do some pellets.
[46:59]
Eddie Larson
Yeah. Yeah.
[47:00]
Henry Zebrowski
I just want to note. Is this inappropriate to joke about? Because we want to know. It's like, yes. When we eat Indian food in America, it affects my belly.
[47:12]
Eddie Larson
Well, it's all butter and hot sauce. Yeah. I mean, yeah.
[47:16]
Henry Zebrowski
Yeah, that's right.
[47:19]
Eddie Larson
It doesn't. It doesn't stick in me.
[47:20]
Henry Zebrowski
Well, no, it, man. Blasts out of me.
[47:25]
Eddie Larson
Yeah.
[47:25]
Henry Zebrowski
It tastes like I didn't eat it.
[47:27]
Eddie Larson
It's very delicious.
[47:28]
Henry Zebrowski
It's like I just bought Indian food and threw it in the toilet bowl.
[47:33]
Eddie Larson
Yeah.
[47:33]
Henry Zebrowski
So my question is, is that, do we all have this reaction?
[47:37]
Eddie Larson
Well, I do find that when I pay a little more and I go to a nicer spot, the shits are better, Buddy.
[47:44]
Henry Zebrowski
You remember we went to. We had that nice dinner with Marcus. We went to a fancy Indian place. It was very fancy, and it was a thing I've never been because I like a mom and pop Indian place way more than I like a fancy Indian place. And when we went in there, yeah, dude, I might as well eat at old, you know, Japan, like, you know, chutney spot. I blew out my.
[48:06]
Eddie Larson
Marcus loves Indian food.
[48:07]
Henry Zebrowski
He loves Indian food for the man who's got the thinnest pipes of all of us.
[48:11]
Eddie Larson
Well, he does have a bloody ass sometimes.
[48:14]
Henry Zebrowski
I know, but that's because he's British. It's all the British blood.
[48:17]
Eddie Larson
British people love Indian food.
[48:18]
Henry Zebrowski
I know, but you don't think it blows out their assholes.
[48:20]
Eddie Larson
Do you remember how good the Indian food was outside of Snowtown gas station?
[48:24]
Henry Zebrowski
Dude, that was exceptional.
[48:26]
Eddie Larson
Wasn't that crazy?
[48:27]
Henry Zebrowski
Blue are mine.
[48:28]
Eddie Larson
That was really nuts.
[48:29]
Henry Zebrowski
That was really crazy. But I've had very good food. But maybe that's inappropriate, but I don't know. Side stories. LPOTL gmail.com does. Does it affect us all like this?
[48:36]
Eddie Larson
Is it gmail.com or gmail.com gmail.com if you could.
[48:41]
Henry Zebrowski
Because again, I just wonder if. Is Imodium the only thing they need? If we pumped Imodium into the water, would that change things?
[48:50]
Eddie Larson
Give it a shot.
[48:51]
Henry Zebrowski
I don't know. But I guess some people get diarrhea from anything.
[48:53]
Eddie Larson
I'm always so surprised how small an Imodium is and how much work can do.
[48:58]
Henry Zebrowski
The key is, that's why you know my best way to take it? Nasally.
[49:03]
Eddie Larson
Oh, nasally. Yeah, you rail it.
[49:05]
Henry Zebrowski
You got to snort that. Yeah, you gotta snort that.
[49:08]
Eddie Larson
Especially when you're on top of a modium.
[49:09]
Henry Zebrowski
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
[49:10]
Eddie Larson
You want to bump from your grave.
[49:14]
Ryan Coogler
Your next family crime saga, Obsession, is Now streaming on Paramount+ mob land, an explosive new series from the underworld of Guy Ritchie stars Tom Tom Hardy, Pierce Brosnan and Helen Mirren go inside the Harrigan crime family who will stop at nothing to ensure they come out on top in a war that threatens to topple empires and destroy lives. New series, Mobland, now streaming on Paramount+.
[49:40]
Henry Zebrowski
Last podcast on the left is proudly sponsored by Amica Insurance. At Amica, you'll receive coverage with compassion. When you choose Amica, they'll take the time to explain your options for auto, home and life insurance. You can feel confident knowing that they'll protect what matters most to you. Amico will provide you with peace of mind. Go to amica.com and get a quote. Today, this show is sponsored by Better Help. You know, people say that therapy can feel like a big investment. But do you know that your brain generates all of your tangible reality? And that when you pay money to a therapist to do that work, they are working on the very fabric of reality. And as a matter of fact, that therapist is also just a figment of your imagination and so is your base personality. You don't Exist. You are a mode in time floating through the expansiveness of space. But traditional in person therapy can cost anywhere from 100 to 250 per session. All right, that's a lot of fake money for the fake things going on inside of our world on top of the reality that we generate with the three pounds of flesh in our brain. All right, but. And it can add up, but you have to know it's all fake. And so are you. And so is better help. But it helps. It's online therapy with better help. You pay a flat fee for weekly sessions, saving you on big costs and on time. Because remember again, the therapy is a figment of your imagination and so are you. Therapy should feel accessible, not like a luxury. With online therapy, you can get quality care at a price that makes sense. Yes, using the money that is not backed by anything, you can go and pay a person to help you talk about your reality as if it was real. So remember that you're not real. I'm not real. But BetterHelp can really help your well being is worth it. Visit betterhelp.com lastpod to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp. H E-L-P.com lastpod now this next story I want to cover real quick because this is one of my favorite stories in the type of stories that we cover, which is a story that makes you think and understand that your most paranoid, horrible, scared thoughts could be real. Okay. It's one of my favorite things because it's important to remember sometimes horror enters your life and it's kind of fun in a way if you're detached enough with so often we. Now this is a great. That's where you got to get to.
[52:17]
Eddie Larson
Yeah.
[52:17]
Henry Zebrowski
Now this is, this is a great story. A babysitter checks under child's bed for monster and what she finds is one. Now this is. They all say here. I love all of these. All the openings to the articles about the story that are like monsters under your bed aren't real. You know, I'd be like, yeah, we know, we know.
[52:35]
Eddie Larson
But it wasn't a monster. It was just a man.
[52:37]
Henry Zebrowski
Yeah, it was just a man looking to rape murder. Now this is a guy. This is on Monday, 10:30pm 27 years old.
[52:43]
Eddie Larson
Just as old as her Indian pooper.
[52:50]
Henry Zebrowski
How many months is that? I want to know how many months are Indian pooper. What's the old was 20 forever?
[53:00]
Eddie Larson
27, baby.
[53:03]
Henry Zebrowski
Yep, another member of the 27 Club. And how many months is 27 years? 324. That's 324 months.
[53:14]
Eddie Larson
So yeah, Martin Villobos Jr. He was found underneath a child's bed inside of Kansas.
[53:24]
Henry Zebrowski
Now this is Topeka, Kansas, known for another favorite bedroom time snooper, Mr. Dennis Raider. This is a guy that like this could be a copycat. Well, it started off as one. Now this is one of those things as a babysitter. This is a good prompt for an email. This is an actual good prompt for me. Email side stories lpotl gmail.com do you have a scary story as a babysitter with kids? Because kids on the whole are just kind of frightening. Now the idea of your babysitter, you don't give a fucking shit. You're probably stealing whiskey, you know, I mean ordering pornos on the DV there.
[54:02]
Eddie Larson
I don't know, having boys come over and rail you on the couch and.
[54:05]
Henry Zebrowski
Their other guys are watching you and the basketball coaches, they're watching them rail you and everybody's putting money on smoking.
[54:11]
Eddie Larson
In the kitchen, all that stuff.
[54:12]
Henry Zebrowski
I know a baby are. I've seen all the movies, I've seen the documentaries.
[54:14]
Eddie Larson
Fucking breaking the garbage disposal, that's all you do.
[54:17]
Henry Zebrowski
Right. And so you're there enjoying your babysitter time and then the little kid comes downstairs and says, there's a monster under my bed. And your job is to be the bravest person in the house, Even though you're 20 years old and you have to go up there and you check under the bed and normally it's nothing, but then you find some. This fucking guy there. Right. Which shows that the kids were correct.
[54:38]
Eddie Larson
Yes.
[54:38]
Henry Zebrowski
Which is again also horrible because it's going to. His kid's going to be destroyed.
[54:41]
Eddie Larson
Right. But he ran away and he didn't do anything.
[54:44]
Henry Zebrowski
No, but it seems that his relationship to the children, we don't know yet. We do believe that he was having some issue at the house. He said, according to him, according to Martin Villa Lobos Jr. He used to live at the house. But a protection from abuse order was issued against him which said that he was not supposed to be on the property. And so kid was obviously had some problem with somebody else in the house. We don't really know what his relation was to everybody else. So he was there to do something up. And then when he was discovered, you.
[55:14]
Eddie Larson
Don'T think he just missed the house?
[55:17]
Henry Zebrowski
I think that if you missed the house, didn't you want to sit in the living room?
[55:21]
Eddie Larson
It's true.
[55:21]
Henry Zebrowski
Don't you. You don't really need to be underneath A child's bed. Sleeping.
[55:25]
Eddie Larson
No. Maybe it was the shoes sticking out from the bottom of the bed.
[55:28]
Henry Zebrowski
I think that's what's hardest. And she thought at first maybe the bed had fallen and it crushed a witch. But no, no, no. It's a man here to kill us all. Like he's just here to fucking suck.
[55:39]
Eddie Larson
Yeah.
[55:40]
Henry Zebrowski
And, and can suck.
[55:41]
Eddie Larson
Yeah. No, he definitely looks dangerous and scary.
[55:43]
Henry Zebrowski
Yep.
[55:43]
Eddie Larson
He's got, he looks tired. He's got the bags under the eyes which look like, you know, I'm about to commit a crime. I, you know, I'd say, you know.
[55:51]
Henry Zebrowski
He does have I'm about to commit a crime eyes. Yeah.
[55:55]
Eddie Larson
Yeah. But they charged him with aggravated kidnapping, aggravated burglary, aggravated battery, child endangerment, felony obstruction of the law enforcement.
[56:04]
Henry Zebrowski
You're pretty upset with it.
[56:05]
Eddie Larson
Violation of probation, protection from abuse order. He's being held on five hundred thousand.
[56:11]
Henry Zebrowski
Dollar bond, you know, and he deserves it. And we're gonna. I guess we will probably not come back to the story because it seems.
[56:17]
Eddie Larson
To be pretty cut and dry.
[56:19]
Henry Zebrowski
Cut and dry. You just don't do that.
[56:20]
Eddie Larson
Yeah, no, no, no, don't do that.
[56:22]
Henry Zebrowski
If you want to see your kids, you do it the way the court wants you to do it. With the judge there.
[56:26]
Eddie Larson
Yeah.
[56:27]
Henry Zebrowski
All right.
[56:27]
Eddie Larson
There was an altercation and then one of the children was knocked over by Vil Lobos when they, when he fled the scene. So he didn't like, I guess he was about to do something horrible. Yes. But he didn't get to do it.
[56:39]
Henry Zebrowski
Yes.
[56:40]
Eddie Larson
Thank God.
[56:41]
Henry Zebrowski
I mean, for us it's kind of sad because it's less story for us to cover, but for the kid, it's great.
[56:47]
Eddie Larson
Yeah, for the kid it's great. And we. You know what? We covered it anyway.
[56:50]
Henry Zebrowski
You know what? That's what's nice. And we got stuff.
[56:52]
Eddie Larson
We didn't have to wait for someone to die.
[56:54]
Henry Zebrowski
The child didn't need to get caught up into confetti for us to make a bunch of great sick jokes about this.
[56:59]
Eddie Larson
Yeah. So we still, we still covered it and that shows growth on our part.
[57:03]
Henry Zebrowski
But also next time, if we're going to do something like that, knock them out so that we have more to talk about.
[57:09]
Eddie Larson
Well, I have a story that I really want to make sure we get to today.
[57:14]
Henry Zebrowski
Yeah.
[57:15]
Eddie Larson
And this is like. It falls right in our wheelhouse. This. I don't know if you read the whole article or not, but it really fucking. This whole thing blows my mind. I kind of knew that this was happening, but I didn't realize it was happening quite like this. I got this from the Washington Post, which I know is behind a paywall. And if you ever wanted to read a Washington Post article, go to archive ph and then slap the link of the article in there and you can read whatever you want. You don't have to pay for the Washington Post because fuck Jeff Bezos and the Washington Post. But this article was great. It's about an orca gang.
[57:53]
Henry Zebrowski
Yeah. This is like another, like, behavioral thing.
[57:58]
Eddie Larson
Yes.
[57:58]
Henry Zebrowski
Right.
[57:59]
Eddie Larson
It's different than. Because the boat thing with the yachts. That's cool, you know, like. But that's like a fun thing that orcas are just doing to, like, occupy their time. This is like a straight up murderous gang and. Or an orca gang is hunting great white sharks off the coast of South Africa.
[58:18]
Henry Zebrowski
See, this is like. For me, unfortunately, this is like rooting for the zizzy. You know what I mean? Where, like, I can't. I like great white sharks.
[58:25]
Eddie Larson
I love great white sharks.
[58:27]
Henry Zebrowski
You know, the idea that I'm ganging up on the great white sharks just to eat their livers and then discard them makes me really sad.
[58:33]
Eddie Larson
I'm not. I. I agree it is very sad, but I don't. I find it fascinating more than I'm rooting for anybody. Sure.
[58:40]
Henry Zebrowski
I get it, you know.
[58:41]
Eddie Larson
All right, so the orcas. It's a pair of orcas, males. Their names are port and starboard because their fins bend in opposite directions.
[58:50]
Henry Zebrowski
That's cute.
[58:51]
Eddie Larson
The great whites, they have been apex predators in the waters outside of Cape Town for what must be hundreds of years.
[58:59]
Henry Zebrowski
Yes.
[59:00]
Eddie Larson
Are now being hunted in mass by these two orcas. Seven gill sharks and great white corpses have been mysteriously washing to shore over the past decade with almost surgical cuts on their bellies and their livers removed.
[59:16]
Henry Zebrowski
Well, the livers, when they eat a lot of animals, including us humans as well. Like. Like what they talk about when you do when you're hunting in the wild. I learned all this from alone.
[59:25]
Eddie Larson
Yes.
[59:26]
Henry Zebrowski
The only thing I know this from is that the liver is extremely nutritious. Yes. It's nutritious, dense. And then when you normally. When you are in the wild and you kill a wild animal, that is the first thing that you eat. Yes.
[59:39]
Eddie Larson
And it's in it. And you get. You get so much from it. It's powerful. That's why we love Liverworth sandwiches.
[59:44]
Henry Zebrowski
I love Liverworth sandwiches. Anything that turns food into a paste, I like.
[59:49]
Eddie Larson
See, I think you're more like these orcas than you think.
[59:51]
Henry Zebrowski
I'M not saying. No, I'm not. I'm saying. I'm denying the part of me I find problematic.
[59:55]
Eddie Larson
At first, they thought it was going to humans because humans use shark liver as bait when they're going shark fishing. And that's sad, which is very sad. It was extremely unusual for orcas to hunt. To hunt this close to shore. They usually hunt in deeper water. But they're thinking that the reason they're doing this, not only because they develop a taste for great white shark liver, but because the. The overfishing in South Africa has, like, taken less f. In the deeper water and has pushed them closer to shore.
[60:27]
Henry Zebrowski
Jesus Christ.
[60:28]
Eddie Larson
Now, when the two. They. They attack, they usually do it together. They rake the sides of the predators. And if you remember from the Sea World episode, raking is when they scratch their teeth across the side of them. Yeah. They'll find, like, scrape. It looks like a rake. You got scratched with a rake, you know, and it scratches the side and they bite their fins and then ram their bellies and slice open their. Slice open their stomachs. Removing the liver and discarding the rest of the corpse. They don't eat anything else. They just eat the livers. Now, I know what you're saying. That's not that big. What is it? It's just a liver, you know, it's huge.
[61:04]
Henry Zebrowski
I knew it's huge.
[61:05]
Eddie Larson
It's one third the size of a great white shark.
[61:07]
Henry Zebrowski
Yes. They know that it's in there and they like it. And it's. It's the thing that is literally giving them a great deal of nutrients. And I bet it's a thing that's causing them to thrive, too. So they like it.
[61:15]
Eddie Larson
Yeah. This has been witnessed by humans several times now. Port and starboard had even shown the livers that they've retrieved from great white humans on boats. Almost like they're showing off or bragging about their kills.
[61:31]
Henry Zebrowski
That's crazy. I find it interesting because they really do. Because you know what it is, these animals, they're so networked. They're community animals. So they actually even look. I bet you we are just like part of the. If we're. If they're not actively hunting us to eat us, it's like we're part of the crowd.
[61:49]
Eddie Larson
No, they like us.
[61:50]
Henry Zebrowski
Yes.
[61:50]
Eddie Larson
Especially in the wild. Wild. They think we're fun. They think we're their boys and. And, you know, I would like to be.
[61:55]
Henry Zebrowski
You would.
[61:56]
Eddie Larson
But marine biologist Allison Towner said they can handle a great white shark and shuck it like a muscle. Just Tear it open and slide out the liver and discard the rest.
[62:07]
Henry Zebrowski
Oh, wow. Well, we'll see how this continues. Like, I feel like this is going to be one of those things where at some point it will be like we have to probably do something to stop it. If they keep killing, no way to.
[62:18]
Eddie Larson
Stop it unless you kill these whales. And I don't think they're going to do that.
[62:21]
Henry Zebrowski
Electrocute the whole.
[62:23]
Eddie Larson
The ocean. Yes. So this happens so often that the great whites have not even been in these waters as much as they have been before. And it's a sure sign of overpopulation on Seal Island. You know Seal Island?
[62:37]
Henry Zebrowski
Oh, yeah, yeah.
[62:38]
Eddie Larson
Right off the case of. It's. It's got its name because it's covered in seals and. But Seal island has become overpopulated because all the great whites have left. And now the shark now. Now they don't know what to do with all these extra seals.
[62:50]
Henry Zebrowski
Seals kill. I guess we electrocute the oceans. Electrocute the oceans. What we need is throw other things that seals can eat in there and then things that eat the seals. So what we need to do is anacondas mixed with anacondas. Chihuahuas.
[63:08]
Eddie Larson
Anaconda Chihuahuas. If, you know that's just a normal.
[63:10]
Henry Zebrowski
No, I'm saying throw Chihuahuas in the water for the seals. You get buckets of Chihuahuas to drop them in the water to chum up for the seals. And then we get the anaconda to eat the seals. Then we get men to hunt anacondas.
[63:25]
Eddie Larson
This is a bad idea. The. Have you ever seen Air Jaws?
[63:30]
Henry Zebrowski
Yes, yes.
[63:31]
Eddie Larson
So the Air Jaws takes place in the same area.
[63:34]
Henry Zebrowski
Yes, I remember Air Jaws.
[63:35]
Eddie Larson
This is the one part of the world where great white sharks regularly breach.
[63:40]
Henry Zebrowski
Yes.
[63:40]
Eddie Larson
Because they're attacking the seals from underneath.
[63:42]
Henry Zebrowski
It's one of the coolest documentaries that we've ever saw. I remember that.
[63:45]
Eddie Larson
Well, this is becoming a thing of the past because this is where they do it. They breach occasionally in other parts of the world, but this is the part of the world where they breach all the time. So we are not going to see great white shark breaches anymore because they're being chased out of this area by this orca gang.
[64:02]
Henry Zebrowski
So we need to bring machine guns down there and we need to kill the orcas and have the grape whites go. I feel like that. I know that sounds really simple, but it is. And it's that easy. Right? Like. And I don't think it's going to have that big of an effect if we just rake the Ocean with automatic weapon fire.
[64:21]
Eddie Larson
There are people who would probably be on your side because. Yes, of course, great white shark tourism is a major industry in False Bay, which is next to Cape Town. And they are not showing up anymore. And so now the great white shark tourism industry is starting to.
[64:37]
Henry Zebrowski
That's when it really. That's what this. That's what these orcas don't understand. Once you start with these guys, bottom line, then it's going because they're gonna figure out how to make orca burgers and orca fries and orcas stew. It's gonna. You better be careful, orcas.
[64:51]
Eddie Larson
It's too much mercury. You can't eat orcas at all. Oh, no. You get sick and then if a child eats it, they'll get like big heads and stuff. It's real bad. In 2016, they found.
[65:01]
Henry Zebrowski
It's not funny anymore. There's no reason for me to.
[65:04]
Eddie Larson
In 2016, when this is all starting, they found 27 gill corpses, seven gill shark. They found 20 of them. And they were like, okay. They assume there's a lot more because. Because shark corpses usually don't wash to shore. They usually sink, especially when they got a big hole in their belly.
[65:19]
Henry Zebrowski
Yeah.
[65:19]
Eddie Larson
In 2017, they found their first great white body that was missing a liver about 35 miles from False Bay. And then four more were found in the coming months. So they can only assume that the bottom of the ocean there is just littered with great white corpses.
[65:36]
Henry Zebrowski
Those starfish and are eating good.
[65:39]
Eddie Larson
Yes. Oh, absolutely.
[65:40]
Henry Zebrowski
That's who's eating good. They're loving on the ground. That's.
[65:43]
Eddie Larson
That's going to be the hue. That's going to be the. When they start coming shore and they're the size of goddamn buildings.
[65:48]
Henry Zebrowski
And then we learn. But, well, hopefully they'll start about the size of probably a golden retriever or something. And then that will be the other animal that we'll eat. We'll figure out how to have starfish burgers and starfish roast and starfish soup and starfish nuggets and chocolate starfish. That's my favorite. Well, you ever been eating ass and you think, hey, where's my salt and pepper?
[66:13]
Eddie Larson
But yeah, so we got some. We got some true murdering orcas.
[66:18]
Henry Zebrowski
We really did. Sorry, I stole a bit from. That was me becoming earthquake for a second, guys. I don't even know if everybody knows earthquake. I love earthquakes.
[66:27]
Eddie Larson
Honestly, one of the only reason to stay on Twitter is to read. Is to read earthquakes.
[66:32]
Henry Zebrowski
There's literally no reason to stay on Twitter. Just buy Honestly, if you want to do Goodbye Earthquake, rent his comedy special.
[66:38]
Eddie Larson
It's really good.
[66:38]
Henry Zebrowski
Yes, it's fantastic.
[66:39]
Eddie Larson
Yeah.
[66:40]
Henry Zebrowski
Oh, grilled starfish. Oh, that looks rough.
[66:43]
Eddie Larson
I need it.
[66:44]
Henry Zebrowski
Rob showing pictures of grilled starfish. I just. What does it say that it tastes like? It says they find it off putting. Yeah, I don't. I'm not ready. I'm not ready. I think it needs to be brazed. I don't think this is a fresh catch grill. I think that this needs to be. I'm. I'm saying right now. Side stories. Also chefs out there. Is anybody eating Starfish side stories? Lpotlmail.com Am I wrong in saying I believe the best way to eat it is in nugget. Nugget form?
[67:09]
Eddie Larson
I'm sure.
[67:09]
Henry Zebrowski
Fritter fried.
[67:10]
Eddie Larson
Yeah.
[67:11]
Henry Zebrowski
Yeah, definitely.
[67:11]
Eddie Larson
Because you got to get all the barnacles and stuff off. Whatever the. The spikes, you got to get those off.
[67:15]
Henry Zebrowski
I have no idea what's in. What's inedible in it. I think you cut out its teeth. You cut up. It's like, does it have tits?
[67:21]
Eddie Larson
And I don't think they have tits. Can you milk a starfish?
[67:24]
Henry Zebrowski
Let us know stories lpotl gmail.com. but my show you my starfish milk. My.
[67:30]
Eddie Larson
The last thing I will say is 70% of all sharks are under threat from overfishing. Climate change has altered the swimming routes of many fish, and underwater nets to protect swimmers on beaches have also claimed the lives of many sharks.
[67:43]
Henry Zebrowski
Yes.
[67:44]
Eddie Larson
So now the orcas are finishing the job.
[67:47]
Henry Zebrowski
Hey, so this is. We're gonna see how this all leads. Definitely not the total calamity. There's no way. Also, I was being satirical about shooting the orcas. Oh, yeah, No, I know that. But unfortunately people don't. And I was gonna say it. I realized I was having a good time talking about how fun it would be and imagining shooting the ocean and zapping the o. Ocean and. And doing all that kind of stuff. Because that's fun for me.
[68:09]
Eddie Larson
Yes.
[68:10]
Henry Zebrowski
But you just never know.
[68:11]
Eddie Larson
You know Jacques Cousteau used to bomb the ocean.
[68:14]
Henry Zebrowski
Yes.
[68:15]
Eddie Larson
He would throw dynamite into the ocean and kill large amounts of fish. And it was. That was before we knew that was bad. I know it seems weird to say that we didn't know that was bad.
[68:24]
Henry Zebrowski
He was just like, I tried to make a one day fuel experience.
[68:28]
Eddie Larson
Yeah.
[68:29]
Henry Zebrowski
The magic in A mystery of the water go down in the best part. Part is you are down in the bottom of the water and you see the little crab. You see the angular Fish. And they first thought you have is what if I could make them explode? Thank God I brought my dynamite.
[68:51]
Eddie Larson
You think he ever Rue McClanahan?
[68:54]
Henry Zebrowski
You think Jacques Cousteau maybe. If she was anywhere near that sub. He definitely shot that harpoon into that. That screaming gulch. Honestly, Rhan's lovely. And that is one picture of her tit. Great.
[69:10]
Eddie Larson
It's just. We don't know if that's her tit.
[69:11]
Henry Zebrowski
That is just one.
[69:12]
Eddie Larson
That is a black and white tit on its own. We do not know if that's.
[69:16]
Henry Zebrowski
Oh, wait a second. I believe that's actually the corpse of Marilyn Monroe. Well, let us just move on. We have some listener emails. All right, now, someone says here, I just wanted to talk about last week. Week Saran Wrap.
[69:31]
Eddie Larson
Okay.
[69:31]
Henry Zebrowski
And Dom's accidentally killing people in breath play. Now, what I liked was this. This was an immediate response that I was like, exactly. This is exactly what I wanted to hear. Which is at first, remember, we were talking about, like, maybe she didn't know what to do. She panicked. He died.
[69:51]
Eddie Larson
It was clearly an accident.
[69:53]
Henry Zebrowski
It was an accident. But. But why is she then going through all of this? Like, what's the crime? Essentially, about this straight up, there is just straight. There is like literally within character a way to do this in which, according to one former Dom, I worked in a dungeon with a collection of mostly other pro doms, some pro subs, you know, people. And there was many people who had the fantasy being wrapped up in Saran Wrap, right? It's very, very common plastic wrap, please.
[70:22]
Eddie Larson
We don't get sued by the Saran Company.
[70:24]
Henry Zebrowski
No, the honesty, they love it because it actually boosts sales. So they kind of like people get interested. And so they said here, like we said, we had to use these industrial warehouse Saran Wrap devices, the rap guys, all the time. This is what they wanted. At least a couple of times a week, someone would come in wanting to be wrapped in Saran Wrap. So first of all, because it's super common. Yes. Second of all, the glady, this poor girl is too dumb to function as a pro dump Dom. According to this Dom, I feel like a natural selection just took her out because, yeah, they all want stupid. That can't actually happen in reality.
[71:00]
Eddie Larson
Yeah.
[71:00]
Henry Zebrowski
And it's your job as the professional and as the dominant to make boundaries and say, no, you dumbass, I'm not gonna kill you. Don't be an idiot. I need to walk you out of here alive. And guess what you've done. Then not only have you saved your Life saved this person's life. But you've also made them re horny by yelling at them.
[71:22]
Eddie Larson
Repeat custom are best. So what, you want to milk them? You don't want to just, you know, you don't want a one and done here.
[71:28]
Henry Zebrowski
Absolutely. So according to this Dom. Okay, so I'm not going to literally cover your mouth and nose until you can't breathe. Now I would cover the bottom half of your face and then just the top half of your face so they felt very tight and compressed. Honestly, I think most of them just didn't get enough hugs as children. And they want to be swaddled, but in a dangerous way.
[71:45]
Eddie Larson
This is also this according to coming from a professional. Yes, the lady who did this, she had. She'd never done BDSM before.
[71:52]
Henry Zebrowski
But it's also important why conversations this type of play need to be slightly more normalized. It has to because it's so common. We have to kind of break out of this idea that it's a fringe world. It's actually really not. It's huge. So there needs to be in those worlds more open conversation about how you do these things. Because I do think that's what she's saying is that every guy who arrives and I mean, I'm sorry, I'm just using man as the base here, but let's just face the facts. They come in there and their rock hard penis is there making the decisions. They are not going to be super rational like they are need you got to. The problem is that erection.
[72:34]
Eddie Larson
Yeah.
[72:34]
Henry Zebrowski
You got to eliminate the erection. I also getting them to come his pants by doing other things.
[72:39]
Eddie Larson
I think freshman year of college, mandatory sex ed. Now, I know we get sex ed in like seventh grade or whatever, but I'm saying once you get to college and you're over 18, there should be a next level teaching you how to fuck, how to do BDSM and how to do all these things. That way we don't get situations like this.
[72:58]
Henry Zebrowski
Can I ask though, who teaches this? Is it like, is it just some guy show up? Like, you know, I think Khalifa teach it.
[73:06]
Eddie Larson
Husband and wife combo.
[73:07]
Henry Zebrowski
Maybe like you now we're in the Monty Python. So that's the meaning of life.
[73:11]
Eddie Larson
Well, we.
[73:12]
Henry Zebrowski
That's what the sketches remember. The meaning of life.
[73:14]
Eddie Larson
No, I never saw it.
[73:15]
Henry Zebrowski
It's John Cleese fucking A. Weird. It's actually, it's really strange because he's like. You ever notice those old tiny sketch things, especially British when they get like. It's almost. It's not that it's. It's not sexy at all. But nudity, for me, like, takes the sex out of it.
[73:34]
Eddie Larson
Yeah.
[73:34]
Henry Zebrowski
It takes the comedy out of it. You know what I mean? Where, like, as soon as there's, like.
[73:37]
Eddie Larson
A naked woman when the. But when the boobs came by. That's different. That's very funny.
[73:41]
Henry Zebrowski
That's different. But that also didn't really register as funny to me as a little. As a boy.
[73:46]
Eddie Larson
Oh, it registered funny to me.
[73:47]
Henry Zebrowski
See, I was just like. That was like the first. But I remember feeling it. That was like the first pair of boobs I ever saw was in the movie Repossess.
[73:57]
Eddie Larson
Have you noticed that boobs in horror and comedy has been totally replaced by dicks?
[74:02]
Henry Zebrowski
Well, because it's. It's a pendulum swing. Literally. I know. Pun.
[74:05]
Eddie Larson
I know. I know.
[74:06]
Henry Zebrowski
Pendulum swing. I feel like, again, we need equal amounts. Every time there's ditz, there should be dick. Every time there's dick, there should be debts.
[74:13]
Eddie Larson
Amen. I think. I think that strip club should have both male and female strip club.
[74:18]
Henry Zebrowski
I'm totally fine with it.
[74:19]
Eddie Larson
Let's party.
[74:19]
Henry Zebrowski
Because then we. Everybody can take a break.
[74:20]
Eddie Larson
Yeah.
[74:21]
Henry Zebrowski
If you're not into this next one, you go take a break.
[74:23]
Eddie Larson
Yeah. Go hit the salad bar.
[74:24]
Henry Zebrowski
Salad bars that need to make a hardcore comeback in a big way. But elevated. Yeah, elevated. We need stations.
[74:31]
Eddie Larson
Booby Tuesdays.
[74:32]
Henry Zebrowski
Booby Tuesdays. Oh, that's amazing. Eddie, write it down.
[74:37]
Eddie Larson
I'm singing the microphone. I gotta write nothing out.
[74:39]
Henry Zebrowski
Yeah, well, there. Someone's gonna take it.
[74:40]
Eddie Larson
But.
[74:40]
Henry Zebrowski
But I wish that was really it.
[74:42]
Eddie Larson
That was. That was.
[74:43]
Henry Zebrowski
All that really is to say is that technically the dom is in charge and they need to do it.
[74:48]
Eddie Larson
And the. With the reason I said husband and wife team is I actually had. And when I went to Catholic school in fourth grade, there was a husband and wife team that came in and gave us sex ed talks.
[74:57]
Henry Zebrowski
Did she suck his dick and stuff?
[74:58]
Eddie Larson
No, but they let us curse. I remember.
[75:01]
Henry Zebrowski
That's just. You get some of the horniness out.
[75:03]
Eddie Larson
I think so. Yeah.
[75:04]
Henry Zebrowski
Yeah. I think they need you to do that.
[75:06]
Eddie Larson
But I remember enjoying them. I thought they were great.
[75:08]
Henry Zebrowski
Oh, so this is also the difference between. So this is the difference between manslaughter. It was also in. Pertaining to the same story.
[75:16]
Eddie Larson
Okay, great.
[75:16]
Henry Zebrowski
It. It's figuring out.
[75:20]
Eddie Larson
Careful.
[75:24]
Henry Zebrowski
I'm fine. Now, this is. This is one of those where you have to find out there's certain words. Right. Purposefully intended for the act to occur. Knowingly, practically certain that the act would occur. Recklessly was aware or should be aware of the risk that the act would incur. Negligently was unaware of the risk that the act could incur. So first agreement murder, purposefully kill. They have premeditation, but technically there's a looser standard here. It can just be straight up. I got into a verbal altercation. I. I went, got my gun, came back, shot you. That can be. That's as base as first degree murder can be.
[76:03]
Eddie Larson
Okay.
[76:04]
Henry Zebrowski
Right. Second degree murder. Knowingly kill. No premeditation. Verb. Verbal altercation have gone on you.
[76:11]
Eddie Larson
Okay.
[76:12]
Henry Zebrowski
Kill someone in the middle of verbal altercation. Second degree murder.
[76:15]
Eddie Larson
Okay.
[76:15]
Henry Zebrowski
All right. Then there's also second degree murder, but with reckless. With extreme diff. Indifference to human life.
[76:22]
Eddie Larson
Okay.
[76:22]
Henry Zebrowski
Like throwing a brick off an overpass onto a car.
[76:25]
Eddie Larson
Okay.
[76:26]
Henry Zebrowski
And somebody dies as a result.
[76:27]
Eddie Larson
Yes.
[76:28]
Henry Zebrowski
Right. That is, that's. That is what you'd call reckless indifference.
[76:32]
Eddie Larson
Yeah.
[76:33]
Henry Zebrowski
Right.
[76:33]
Eddie Larson
That's second degree accident.
[76:35]
Henry Zebrowski
No, not at all. It's gone. You're purposely doing something that you know that's wrong man slaughter, which is a reckless act that causes another death. Shooting a gun into a ceiling and accidentally killing the upstairs neighbor. And then there's negligent homicide.
[76:48]
Eddie Larson
It seems the same to me, to be honest with you.
[76:50]
Henry Zebrowski
Well, this is what we're saying is that like throwing a brick over a.
[76:53]
Eddie Larson
Overpass and then shooting a gun in the air, equally as reckless, in my opinion.
[76:58]
Henry Zebrowski
But this is where you'd get into the. But it's about how you travel and it's all these things that you would put together in court. Right. Second degree murder. I imagine it goes over because they, they got the cinder blocks to go to the overpass. They chose the overpass to go to. They set up a time to go to it. They knew that they were going to do this to cause chaos. You can be in a passionate moment, you can reasonably argue that you were an impassioned moment and you fired a gun in your own home that then accidentally killed somebody, which then could become manslaughter. So you know what I mean? It's all about all the circumstances that lead to everything.
[77:32]
Eddie Larson
Or if you're watching like a show in an old timey saloon and the chick showing her garter and you're like.
[77:38]
Henry Zebrowski
There'S someone on the road roof. Absolutely not.
[77:40]
Eddie Larson
Trouble.
[77:41]
Henry Zebrowski
Yes. That's why I don't watch saloon films anymore. That's why can't any get her gun. Is not allowed in our home. Yeah.
[77:48]
Eddie Larson
And I tell Julie, stay off the roof, please. I'm playing with my Gun right now.
[77:51]
Henry Zebrowski
Yeah, that's her. Let's. Hey, this is my time. And so in the case of the only fans model, she could be easily charged with either manslaughter. As a reasonable person would know that wrapping another head in Saran Wrap could lead to death, but disregarded the risk. However, there is a case that wrapping another's head in Saran Wrap could be extreme indifference for human life. Life. However, the bar for extreme indifference is both quite high and both the intent and act need to be proven beyond a reasonable doubt. The fact that the guy is asking for the. The action to be done.
[78:19]
Eddie Larson
Yes.
[78:20]
Henry Zebrowski
Also affects her reaction. It's such. It's very much an accident.
[78:24]
Eddie Larson
I also. Yeah, it's very much an accident. Led, you know, by. Because of her ignorance. I was going to say stupidity, but it's ignorance.
[78:33]
Henry Zebrowski
No, it's.
[78:33]
Eddie Larson
It's.
[78:33]
Henry Zebrowski
I would. You know what? Anyway, I'd say a combo of the both. Because in the end, just because he's horny doesn't mean he's immortal. So just remember that. Live every day knowing that. That's one of the most important lessons I've ever learned. I live, I know every day. No matter how horny I am, I can't do something that almost kills me, that will make me shoot. Because you know why I laugh? Thinking about people that need to be choked while masturbating. Because me, honestly, I masturbate normally in about 30 minutes and 30 seconds. I was gonna say 30 minutes and I'm done. It is in and out of me.
[79:05]
Eddie Larson
I'm busy for that.
[79:06]
Henry Zebrowski
It doesn't even matter. Just get me out of there. And then I laugh myself to sleep.
[79:11]
Eddie Larson
Yeah.
[79:11]
Henry Zebrowski
Knowing that I didn't have to dance on the razor's edge of death in order to have a nice time.
[79:16]
Eddie Larson
Little chuckle slumber.
[79:17]
Henry Zebrowski
That's me.
[79:22]
Eddie Larson
Oh, man. Well, we're hitting the road. We are. That's right. Last podcast on the left proper is coming to Detroit on April 18th. We're going to be at the Masonic. Please, please come check that out. That's gonna be a blast.
[79:35]
Henry Zebrowski
I'm not around if you're in Detroit. You all know it's one of the best venues in this country. Come out, see us do the show. It's gonna be a special goth night. There's gonna be a lot of good looking people there.
[79:45]
Eddie Larson
And you know what? It's Good Friday.
[79:48]
Henry Zebrowski
Gross.
[79:48]
Eddie Larson
Isn't that great?
[79:49]
Henry Zebrowski
More like great. Most like gross Friday.
[79:51]
Eddie Larson
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, it's because, you know, all the Italians that killed Jesus you know, they named it from next year. They were all talking to each other. They're like, hey, remember that time when we killed that loudmouth?
[80:01]
Henry Zebrowski
That, that was a good ass Friday. That was the funnest day of my life.
[80:06]
Eddie Larson
Oh yes.
[80:06]
Henry Zebrowski
I love watching him scream. Wriggle. Yeah, I do it again.
[80:10]
Eddie Larson
My good hand him like a painting. We did Invasive Species Tour with side Stories is coming back to Florida. I just had a very successful run. It was wonderful. North Florida ain't ever going to be the same, but I'm coming to on, on May 6th I'm going to be in Naples at the off the Hook Comedy club. And then May 7th and 8th I'm going to be with Henry doing side story shows. On the 7th we're going to be in Fort Lauderdale at the Dania Improv. And then on May 8th we're going to be in Orlando at the Funny Bone. The first show sold out. You got to get tickets to the late show now only.
[80:47]
Henry Zebrowski
We're going to have fun.
[80:47]
Eddie Larson
And then right after that, the next day I'm flying all the way to Key West. And from May 9th, 9th through the 11th, I'm going to be a Key west comedy with Lisa Correo and Kevin Skeeney. And that's gonna be a lot of fun.
[81:00]
Henry Zebrowski
Lisa Carrero is wonderful.
[81:02]
Eddie Larson
She's unbelievable.
[81:02]
Henry Zebrowski
Great comedian.
[81:03]
Eddie Larson
Yeah, it's gonna be a blast. So come check out those shows. We got some surprises for that. But also Henry and I are gonna be doing a side stories live at Dad's Garage in Atlanta. That's gonna be on June 29th. The 7 o'clock show sold out. But the 9:30 show still has tickets. So make sure you go and get your ass.
[81:22]
Henry Zebrowski
Yeah, we're gonna have a, we can have so much fun and we're going to be fucking around the entire time. Come to Contact in Desert 2025, May 29, June 2, you're going to. We are going to be there all weekend. We're going to be doing a big show. We haven't figured out quite what we're doing there, but we're going to be doing something big there.
[81:37]
Eddie Larson
We're going to be doing a couple shows.
[81:38]
Henry Zebrowski
Yes. So just come, come for the weekend. You're going to watch, hang out, learn. It's a fun weekend.
[81:43]
Eddie Larson
It's like, it's crazy if I go, it's the only time I'm like willing to like, learn. Like I'm in school again.
[81:49]
Henry Zebrowski
It's very funny. But also, you know what I'm going to say. To our people that come in. Out. We got to hit that pool, yo.
[81:55]
Eddie Larson
Yes.
[81:56]
Henry Zebrowski
When we come out there, we got to turn this into a party.
[82:00]
Eddie Larson
Yeah, you big boys. I'm talking to you. I want to see them titties.
[82:03]
Henry Zebrowski
We need to get out there, yo. We got to go to these pool. We got to show these nerds how it's done. We're the right nerds for this festival. We need to take it back.
[82:12]
Eddie Larson
And you know where else I want to see these man boobs at?
[82:15]
Henry Zebrowski
Where?
[82:15]
Eddie Larson
Crime wave at the sea.
[82:16]
Henry Zebrowski
Oh, we will. That's for certain.
[82:18]
Eddie Larson
I mean, November 3rd through the 7th, fly sailing out of Fort Lauderdale on Royal Caribbean cruise lines. That's the crime wave. Go check that.
[82:27]
Henry Zebrowski
Yeah, it's crime wave@sea.com. buy the tickets. I. That's another one. That's gonna be again. It's gonna be fucking hilarious.
[82:33]
Eddie Larson
It's gonna be crazy.
[82:34]
Henry Zebrowski
I have no idea what we're gonna do, and I guarantee we're gonna have at least two true crime stories come out of this yes. Weekend.
[82:43]
Eddie Larson
Yeah, it's gonna be. We're gonna be on the boat. No, there.
[82:45]
Henry Zebrowski
Did you see that story about what's his name? That was like, the band leader ligity that jumped off the cruise ship. No, they're his wife. What it was in.
[82:52]
Eddie Larson
Save it for the show.
[82:53]
Henry Zebrowski
He's in, like, rat or something. I forgot what it was in the. Yeah, yeah. He was doing this, like, tour. He was literally doing what we were going to do on a. On a cruise ship. He's doing, like, a show, and then his wife that he brought jumped off the stern the first night, and then I guess he just kept playing.
[83:08]
Eddie Larson
I mean, you know, show must go on.
[83:09]
Henry Zebrowski
Yep. Kimberly Church. Faster, pussycat. That was right.
[83:13]
Eddie Larson
Oh, wow. Faster, cat. Okay.
[83:15]
Henry Zebrowski
You ever see this band?
[83:16]
Eddie Larson
No, I never even heard of them before.
[83:17]
Henry Zebrowski
Well, that guy's wife's dead.
[83:19]
Eddie Larson
Oh, awful. Royal Caribbean Cruise. I bet it's the same boat.
[83:21]
Henry Zebrowski
Wow.
[83:23]
Eddie Larson
Great.
[83:24]
Henry Zebrowski
Oh, no, no. Hey, no. She's refreshing. Yeah. Guys, thank you.
[83:33]
Eddie Larson
I'm surprised she didn't float.
[83:35]
Henry Zebrowski
No. Well, she minded for a while now. Guys, thank you for enjoying side stories, because you better have. Hail Satan.
[83:43]
Eddie Larson
Hail Rambo.
[83:44]
Henry Zebrowski
Yes. Hail Rambo.
[83:46]
Eddie Larson
Skateboarding fucker.
[83:48]
Henry Zebrowski
Go to a park. Go to a park, you delinquent.