Last Podcast on the Left
Episode Summary: "Side Stories: Breast Friends"
Release Date: May 28, 2025

Hosted by The Last Podcast Network, "Last Podcast on the Left" delves into the darkest aspects of both real and imagined horrors. In this episode titled "Side Stories: Breast Friends," hosts Henry Zabrowski and Ed Larson navigate through a tapestry of bizarre friendships, sinister incidents, and unnerving anecdotes, all interwoven with their characteristic humor and insightful commentary.

1. Introduction to Side Stories

The episode kicks off with Henry Zabrowski hinting at a reevaluation of his friendship with Ed Larson. This playful banter sets the tone for the deep-dives into unusual and often macabre tales.

Henry Zabrowski [00:28]: "That's when the cannibalism started. Side stories. Yes. I think we're gonna have to reevaluate our friendship."

2. Historical Highlight: Abraham Lincoln's Friendship

Henry introduces an unexpected historical anecdote about Abraham Lincoln and his close friend William Green. The hosts explore the depth of their relationship, highlighting the unusual closeness that bordered on the affectionate.

Henry Zabrowski [01:40]: "They slept chest to chest. And these guys are best friends. Breast friends."

Ed humorously critiques Henry's own physique in comparison, adding levity to the discussion.

Ed Larson [03:28]: "You don't have perfect thighs."

3. Upcoming Event: Contact in the Desert

Shifting gears, the hosts promote the upcoming "Contact in the Desert" event in Indio Wells, blending their love for UFO phenomena with comedy. They discuss various aspects of the event, including live podcast recordings and guest comedians, promising an entertaining weekend.

Henry Zabrowski [05:31]: "We're bringing out all the stops. I'm going to be doing a live UFO mandate."

4. Annabelle's Disappearance Controversy

A significant portion of the episode focuses on the mysterious disappearance of Annabelle, the infamous doll. Henry and Ed dissect the conflicting reports and social media claims, expressing skepticism over the authenticity of evidence presented by Annabelle's representatives.

Henry Zabrowski [09:30]: "Annabelle's been kidnapped."

They critique the use of green screens and question the legitimacy of the supposed evidence, hinting at possible foul play or misinformation.

Henry Zabrowski [11:19]: "He's putting his face over the footage, which is a lie."

The conversation intensifies as they fantasize about confronting the perpetrator and speculate wildly about Annabelle's whereabouts and intentions.

Henry Zabrowski [16:20]: "Everybody come meet me there. It's gonna be me, Annabelle, the Green Lantern. We're going to take down the White House together as a team."

5. Gruesome Medical Procedures: Finger Reattachment

The hosts delve into a horrifying medical procedure known as degloving, where a man's finger is stripped of flesh. They discuss the intricate and gruesome details of reattaching fingers using belly skin grafts, injecting dark humor into a macabre subject.

Henry Zabrowski [23:50]: "He got the meat ripped off the edge of his finger. It's called degloving."

Their banter continues as they imagine absurd scenarios involving such procedures, blending shock value with comedic relief.

6. Crypto-Related Crime: Kidnapping and Torture

The episode narrates a chilling story of an Italian tourist kidnapped and tortured by a crypto trader in New York. Henry and Ed analyze the motives behind the crime, primarily centered around securing access to a crypto banking hard drive with potentially millions in assets.

Henry Zabrowski [29:34]: "Italian tourist allegedly kidnapped and tortured for weeks by a crypto trader."

They mockingly discuss the absurdity of the crime and the minimal punishment received by the perpetrator, criticizing the justice system's handling of such severe offenses.

Ed Larson [32:14]: "That is crazy. 70 dolphins... only got 30 days in jail."

7. Environmental Horror: Dolphin Slaying in Florida

Transitioning to environmental atrocities, the hosts recount the story of a fisherman in Panama City, Florida, who brutally killed and poisoned dolphins. They express outrage over the lenient punishment despite the heinous nature of the crimes.

Henry Zabrowski [54:20]: "An Italian tourist allegedly kidnapped and tortured... they gave this guy 30 days in jail for killing dolphins."

The conversation underscores the lack of severe consequences for environmental crimes, highlighting the disconnect between the severity of actions and legal repercussions.

8. Cultural Commentary: French Pizza and Cannabis

Henry and Ed engage in a tangential yet humorous discussion about the quality of French pizza and the accessibility of cannabis in France. They contrast the American and French approaches to both, using exaggerated stereotypes to fuel their comedic narrative.

Henry Zabrowski [47:27]: "Anything called French bread is American made."

They mockingly critique the authenticity of French culinary practices and the purported high cannabis consumption rates in Europe, intertwining cultural critique with humor.

9. Lincoln's Personal Life and Historical Speculations

Towards the end, Henry speculates on Abraham Lincoln's personal relationships, infusing historical figures with modern interpretations of friendships and relationships. This segment blends historical fact with fictionalized accounts, adding a layer of absurdity.

Henry Zabrowski [64:28]: "Abraham Lincoln was a man about a man... made love to that man."

10. Conclusion and Teasers for Future Episodes

The hosts wrap up by teasing upcoming episodes, including a detailed exploration of Josh Speed's love affair. They maintain their irreverent humor, hinting at more controversial and engaging content to come.

Henry Zabrowski [65:03]: "Tune in for the Josh Speed love affair."

Notable Quotes with Timestamps:

• Henry Zabrowski [01:40]: "They slept chest to chest. And these guys are best friends. Breast friends."

• Ed Larson [03:28]: "You don't have perfect thighs."

• Henry Zabrowski [05:31]: "We're bringing out all the stops. I'm going to be doing a live UFO mandate."

• Henry Zabrowski [09:30]: "Annabelle's been kidnapped."

• Henry Zabrowski [11:19]: "He's putting his face over the footage, which is a lie."

• Henry Zabrowski [16:20]: "Everybody come meet me there. It's gonna be me, Annabelle, the Green Lantern. We're going to take down the White House together as a team."

• Henry Zabrowski [23:50]: "He got the meat ripped off the edge of his finger. It's called degloving."

• Ed Larson [32:14]: "That is crazy. 70 dolphins... only got 30 days in jail."

• Henry Zabrowski [54:20]: "An Italian tourist allegedly kidnapped and tortured... they gave this guy 30 days in jail for killing dolphins."

• Henry Zabrowski [64:28]: "Abraham Lincoln was a man about a man... made love to that man."

Conclusion: "Side Stories: Breast Friends" is a multifaceted episode that traverses historical curiosities, contemporary crimes, and cultural critiques, all delivered with the hosts' signature blend of horror and humor. Listeners can expect a mix of shocking narratives and irreverent jokes, making for an engaging and thought-provoking listen. As always, Henry and Ed invite their audience to participate, share stories, and tune into future episodes for more unsettling tales and dark humor.