Side Stories: Clavicular Criminality

Summary

Last Podcast On The Left: Side Stories – Clavicular Criminality

Date: April 1, 2026
Hosts: Henry Zebrowski & Ed Larson

Overview of the Episode

This episode delivers the signature Side Stories blend of dark humor, grotesque true crime, internet freakshow commentary, and listener interaction. The hosts riff on recent viral news (serious and silly), debrief from their March Madness murder bracket, analyze emerging cultural ghouls and public pariahs, and field bizarre listener mail. Notable themes include the menace of fame-desperate influencers, a cluster of mysterious scientist disappearances, and the unending cringe-fest of social media attention-seekers.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Banter, Friendship, and Office Life

• Timestamps: 01:30–05:14
• The hosts joke about changing body sizes, working together, and the unique personalities in the podcast team.
• Discussion of “Pretty Woman-ing” their colleague Holden with a makeover, mixed with sartorial self-deprecation.
• Quote:
  • “He comes to work, sits in his little office and puts on his Taylor Swift car.” – Henry (03:00)

2. March Madness of Murder Bracket Recap

• Timestamps: 06:26–13:03
• Audience reactions to the annual “March Madness” fictional murderer bracket.
• Controversy sparks over imagined fights—e.g., ‘85 Bears vs. Frankenstein’s monsters, Killer Klowns vs. Waymos.
• Listener critiques focus on biome accuracy, invincibility logic, and overlooked details in fictional match-ups.
• Notable quote:
  • “You can shoot the s*** out of him, but if you look at Jacob Elordi’s Frankenstein monster, he is so hard…” – Henry (09:58)

3. Cornhole Champion Murderer Case Update

• Timestamps: 13:34–19:10
• Recap and update on Dayton Weber (“the cornhole champion murderer”), his abusive behavior, and armless/legless drama in La Plata, Maryland.
• Discussion of internet videos showing his outbursts, the tangled relationships leading to murder, and his continuing infamy—even after disavowal by the American Cornhole Association.
• “Residual limb” is discussed as the PC term for “nubs/stubs.”
• Quotes:
  • “How do you get in the car with the guy he hates who’s driving?” – Henry (16:41)
  • “Heavy is the crowd, ‘cause they need to pull it out when he shot the guy.” – Henry (17:01)

4. Gypsy Rose Internet Drama

• Timestamps: 22:15–28:13
• Gypsy Rose Blanchard’s post-prison attempts at influencer fame, her controversial TikTok memes, and new love triangles.
• Criticism of her teaming up with problematic creators (like Natalie Reynolds) and making light of her mother’s murder.
• Discussion about the commodification of ghoulish internet notoriety and the collective wish for certain figures to fade from public view.
• Quote:
  • “Gypsy Rose is emotionally stunted…she needs to f*** off for a while and go live a peaceful life.” – Henry (26:39)

5. The Rise (and Crimes) of Clavicular/Brayden

• Timestamps: 28:13–37:44
• Examination of “Clavicular” (Brayden), a “looksmaxxing” influencer encouraging extreme and dangerous “hardmaxxing” practices.
• Recent criminal behavior: conducting illegal cosmetic procedures on minors, livestreaming assaults, animal cruelty, and connections with alt-right figures.
• Critique of his cult-leader tendencies, predicted tragic downfall, and the cultural rot of audience engagement through notoriety.
• Quotes:
  • “Brayden is going to kill somebody…this s***’s going to be really bad for our country.” – Henry (34:03)
  • “Even talking about this is boosting his profile. How do we get rid of these people?” – Henry (34:04)

6. Absurdity of Online Behavior: Cash Patel and Porn Comments

• Timestamps: 37:55–39:53
• Mockery of public figures (e.g., FBI head Cash Patel) for having public porn site profiles.
• Bizarre discussion about the mentality of people commenting on porn videos.
• Quote:
  • “People that comment on porn videos are some of the funniest—just hate-filled, just boner…” – Henry (38:51)

7. Internet Content Shock: Hotel Coffee Pot Laundry

• Timestamps: 41:03–44:44
• Viral outrage over influencers (e.g., Tara Woodcocks) washing underwear in hotel coffee makers.
• Gross-out humor and practical advice, plus a tangent on the virtues of buying new underwear when traveling.
• Quotes:
  • “Buy new underwear—that’s what I do. That’s how I get my underwear.” – Ed (43:19)

8. Mysterious Disappearances of UFO Scientists

• Timestamps: 50:23–64:04
• Detailed report on at least eight recent suspicious deaths and disappearances of American military and science personnel connected to UFO research, advanced tech, or space defense.
• Noted cases: Gen. William Neil McCasland, Monica Reza, Nuno Lorero, Carl Grill, and Melissa Cassius (among others).
• Theorizing about whether these are government coverups, foreign sabotage, or the result of knowledge “too hot to handle.”
• Linkages to secret programs at Wright Patterson AFB (rumored UFO artifact hub) and speculations about “demonizing” aliens to control public perception.
• Quotes:
  • “What would wiping these guys out hide? It seems...our government currently is the worst at being villains.” – Henry (61:29)
  • “Maybe the reason they started showing up when we could blow stuff up… is that [aliens thought] ‘oh, they can kill us now.’” – Henry (64:04)

9. Boo Boo the Clown: Crime and Tragedy in Local Entertainment

• Timestamps: 67:04–69:53
• Local news of “Boo Boo the Clown” convicted on 22 counts of child sexual assault, with black humor about his bizarre LinkedIn presence and career change to Coca-Cola truck driver.
• Satirical riffing on the inherent creepiness of clowns and the accidental dark poetry in headlines like “Smiles, Tears, Lubriderm.”
• Quote:
  • “We are literally only doing this story because of the headline: Boo Boo the Clown convicted of child sex assault.” – Henry (68:43)

10. Listener Mail, Pickleball, and Old-Young Sports Rivalries

• Timestamps: 70:29–74:25
• Listener mail is mostly anti-pickleball, with several medical professionals confirming the sport’s status as a hazardous fad for older men.
• Reflection on childhood games (racquetball, badminton, wall ball) versus today’s sport trends.
• Side jokes about marital disconnects and how recreational sports serve as a form of spousal escapism.

11. Upcoming Shows & Wrap Up

• Timestamps: 75:23–76:54
• Promotion of upcoming live shows (with stops in Alaska, Kentucky, LA, New York, Ontario, and more), special events, and Patreon content.
• Personal asides about comfort food and making “ham salad.”
• Teasing banter about wives, aging, and the small pleasures (or tribulations) of everyday life.
• Quote:
  • “We’re gonna have a good time celebrating my wife’s birthday…without her.” – Henry (76:03)

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Memorable Quotes

• “Frankenstein’s monster can f***ing rip the limbs off of anything.” – Ed (10:35)
• “Clavicular...looks like an action figure, but not in a good way. His name’s f***ing Braden.” – Henry (29:17)
• “Heavy is the crowd—because they need to pulled out when he shot the guy!” – Henry (17:01)
• “You put acorns in the ground and you’re gonna get trees tomorrow. That’s right. Investments.” – Ed (46:05)
• “I have no idea how to do anything about it.” – Henry, re: the “cancers” growing on the internet (34:43)
• “People just saying straight up, pickleball’s a scourge…Pickleball tried to kill my mom!” – Ed (71:04)
• “When you go to another country and you start killing everybody, I’m gonna go ahead and say it’s right. War.” – Ed (65:02)

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Noteworthy Segments (with Timestamps)

• Friendship & Merch Talk: 01:30–05:14
• March Madness Murder Bracket Recap: 06:26–13:03
• Cornhole Champion Murder Update: 13:34–19:10
• Gypsy Rose & Influencer Culture: 22:15–28:13
• Clavicular/Brayden Deep Dive: 28:13–37:44
• Porn Comments & FBI Satire: 37:55–39:53
• Hotel Coffee Pot Laundry Viral Story: 41:03–44:44
• Mysterious Missing Scientists/UFOs: 50:23–64:04
• Boo Boo the Clown Conviction: 67:04–69:53
• Listener Mail & Pickleball Rants: 70:29–73:54
• Upcoming Shows & Farewells: 75:23–77:04

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Overall Tone & Takeaways

• Language & Tone: Classic LPOTL—irreverent, profane, sardonic, full of inside jokes and audience asides.
• Themes: Millennial malaise with both media and mortality, American weirdness, the dangers (and power) of viral notoriety, the blurring of sincere concern and ridicule, and the persistent comfort of bad puns and recreational sports.
• For New Listeners: This episode is both a wild ride through “weird news” and a snapshot of the show’s trademark blend of horror, humor, and cultural criticism—a perfect sampler of Side Stories at its most chaotic and incisive.

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For more details or specific questions on segment context, refer to the provided timestamps above.

Transcript

[A]

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[B]

This is the last podcast on the left side stories.

[A]

That's when the cannibalism started. Side stories. Yes.

[B]

No, I'm just talking. I knew you were. You hadn't hit record so I felt like I could talk about my doo doo. It's best. That's why I saved it. That's why you said it then. But yeah, now that you have started recording, I took a life changing doo doo and my life is better now.

[A]

Great.

[B]

I feel great. I feel better and I'm ready to start a show with you, my friend.

[A]

You're my friend.

[B]

My friend. Henry.

[A]

You're my friend.

[B]

My friend. I like you and I like Champ and I like Rob.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

I think Julie's wonderful. I love Natalie.

[A]

Good.

[B]

I love Jackie, your sister. I love your mother.

[A]

It's just not, you know, we don't. We're not. They're not here.

[B]

I know they're not, but I'm just pronouncing my love.

[A]

That's good to do.

[B]

Or like a sound suspicious.

[A]

Not pronouncing when we do that. When men do that, it normally means you've done something bad.

[B]

No. I mean that's what people know. No, that's when you're like trying to explain to everyone how good of a guy you are.

[A]

Well, that's the idea. Or you become like Christian.

[B]

No, this is just so I remember. I'm saying that you're my friend out loud into a microphone so I remember to think of you that way.

[A]

And the people know that then too? Yes. And that we're not mortal enemies.

[B]

No, no, no, no, no.

[A]

We're not.

[B]

Not at all.

[A]

Not anymore.

[B]

Bring it up.

[A]

I'm not. You're mortal enemy.

[B]

You're not.

[A]

I'm not.

[B]

You're not. Why would you be?

[A]

I'm your friend.

[B]

My friend?

[A]

You're my friend. You're my friend. And we're all friend here. We're all friend here.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

At side Stories.

[B]

You friend too.

[A]

You friend. Me host.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Henry Zabrowski. This me friend but host, Ed Larson.

[B]

I'm wearing Henry on my chest today. New. New merch.

[A]

He's helping us with merch.

[B]

New merch.

[A]

He's helping us move merch.

[B]

It's tighter than usual or am I getting fat again?

[A]

No, you're just.

[B]

I think I'm getting fat again.

[A]

I think you're wrong about sizes.

[B]

What do you mean? I wear extra large every day. And now I put this one on and it's very tight.

[A]

It could be a smaller one. Are you sure it's an extra large?

[B]

I read the label after. It was stretching out.

[A]

Yeah, but hard. I know it's hard for you to read if the words aren't like special of the day or. Yeah, you know how to value meal.

[B]

Oh, man.

[A]

You know. Yeah. You. You just like check out which I get.

[B]

Do I gotta go back to Double X? Don't let me wear tiny shirts like Holden.

[A]

I will, I promise.

[B]

You let me know.

[A]

Oh, no, I'm with you. I care about how you look.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

I mean, Holden's a lot trying to explain to him. No, hold the lost cause. Holden comes in every single day. Which I am proud that he goes to work here every day. And he comes to work and he sits in his little office and he sits in there and he puts on his Taylor Swift car.

[B]

Is the biggest office in this place.

[A]

It is the.

[B]

It is.

[A]

It seems to have a tiny office. The way I'll put it. It seems he is in a group office. But it seems that his presence makes him then alone.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And then he gets a private office. I have no idea how, but he.

[B]

Yeah, he's. Two group offices. One office is packed. Packed with people.

[A]

The other one just him just hold

[B]

it in the corner because they want

[A]

to be in there watching him. They only just watch Twitch all day. And God knows what he does in there, you know, I mean, but he comes up with great ideas. And check out Bloodbath 77. It's coming out. We're about to start shooting that real soon.

[B]

Yeah, man. I'm holding a police outfit. I asked him what his size was. He said, that extra large. And I looked up and down, and I was like, you know what? I'm just gonna get a 2x.

[A]

You're right.

[B]

I'm just gonna get a 2x.

[A]

Oh, no. I'm taking him on a. Like, this is a full sidebar, but I'm definitely gonna take him on a shopping spree.

[B]

Well, I'm took. I took him on a shopping spree on Halloween costumes dot com. And they, you know, they have his eyes.

[A]

I want to get him different shirts, dress him better, shave his face, get him some bow ties.

[B]

I would love the Pretty Woman Holden.

[A]

Let's do this.

[B]

I think we really need to do this. And we'll bring Travis to film it. We should take care of Travis while we're out there, too.

[A]

Oh, Travis needs a couple outfits as well. He said he shaved recently. I saw it. And he really looks better this way.

[B]

Yeah, no, he got rid of his neck beard.

[A]

It's hard. It's hard out there because, you know, everybody's got an opinion. Everybody's got an opinion about you, especially if you put yourself in the public sphere. Right. We're seeing right now, Erica Kirk said. Oh, yeah, she's saying that she made

[B]

that great video where she's dancing around the sparklers. You know, she was hilarious in it.

[A]

No, that was black comedian Drew Ski.

[B]

That's not her.

[A]

No, but he's also. We also don't like Drew Ski here either, because he's a weirdo or whatever, and I think he's got gations coming down the pipe. But I will say the Drusky thing dressed as Erica Kirk was pretty great.

[B]

It made me laugh very hard.

[A]

His makeup team is the best team in the industry right now.

[B]

Her being, like, my daughter didn't know the difference. Like what?

[A]

That's how stupid your daughter is. Yeah.

[B]

Like, how dumb is your daughter?

[A]

God, I can't wait till her funeral.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Can we do this? Can. Can here

[B]

or the daughter, Erica Kirk.

[A]

Oh, Eric, no, the d. The daughter hasn't committed crimes yet against me.

[B]

I'm. I'm. I'm afraid that she. She's definitely going to live longer than us.

[A]

We'll see. We'll see. Who knows?

[B]

I think that's the thing.

[A]

We'll still. There's plenty of. There's plenty of ways to skin that cat, Eddy, and we'll get to it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You know, and. But a lot of people have opinions, and one of the People that you know, because our audience, we love them.

[B]

Mm.

[A]

You guys got a lot of thoughts and I do want to kind of come at some of the responses we got from this week's March Madness.

[B]

Yeah, March Murder. And maybe, I mean there's always people always mad, always.

[A]

And it's usually me, it's usually you. But I will say I found that like normally it does. Obviously we intentionally cause debate. Sorry. You know, we're pretty media savvy over here.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And we figured by the time we got to the ending, people always got their opinions. And I'm not to spoil. So you should probably stop the episode right now and go listen to last week's last podcast and left March Madness of Murder the third annual edition.

[B]

I don't know why you're listening to the side stories first.

[A]

Now we're back. So the thing is that for those of you did not spoil it. The as we know, every year we run murderers fictional and not against each other in a ma March Madness style event.

[B]

Every year.

[A]

Last year obviously the thousand birds versus Godzilla into the Godzilla.

[B]

That was two years ago.

[A]

That was two years ago at this point.

[B]

Yeah, it was two years ago.

[A]

But that was the biggest debate.

[B]

That was the biggest debate because everyone was on my side on how many birds are really in a flock.

[A]

I understand you. We all, you know, we doubted you.

[B]

You doubted my nature knowledge.

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I won't ever again and I won't. But a lot of people came at us saying they were wondering what the amount of birds that would be able to defeat the Godzilla. And this, this years was no different because obviously we introduced the 1985 Bears defensive line with the whole defense. The whole defense with William the Fridge Perry and Richard Dent, Mike Singletary, everybody. Right?

[B]

So bad motherfuckers.

[A]

The in the OG seed, the 85 Chicago Bears were placed against a tired war worn crew of Einstein's Groupen. Right? The Nazis.

[B]

People are upset about this.

[A]

No. Oh, let me say how we got to here. So we then said of course 85 bears filled with anger, righteous power, the spirit of America behind them and cocaine. Yes, the Fridge would of course lead the blitz. But the last bullets from the Einsens Groupen would probably be emptied into the fridge. Then the rest of the defense would tear the Einsance Groupen limb from limb.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

So excited about this. Everybody loved this. So final. The final seed 85 Bears make it through all the way to the end against two Frankenstein's monsters.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Boris Karloff's, Frankenstein's monster and Jacob Elordi's. Frankenstein monster who are invincible. But this is why I find interesting.

[B]

Invincible.

[A]

Ish. This is where we get the big debates, because it seems there's a lot of people that said that. Number one, they felt that during the Nuremberg Trials, one of the big things that we missed in our biomes was the fact that there were giant braziers, giant fire pits.

[B]

Well, we just said it was Nuremberg. We didn't say it was during the trials.

[A]

I think that we alluded. Yeah, but that was where some people were saying they wish that we might have incorporated the braziers, which I will concur. There's some people that also will say the Frankenstein's monster is not as invincible as we were saying he was, which is so strong. But I don't agree. I still do. Which is why we made the decision that we made.

[B]

You can shoot the out of him,

[A]

but if you look at Jacob Elordi's Frankenstein's monster, he is so hard to say, Jacob Elordi's Frankenstein's monster.

[B]

Frank. Jacob Elordi's Frankenstein.

[A]

Jacobi's Frankenstein. Frankenstein.

[B]

Sponsored. Yeah.

[A]

Is that he was actually quite strong. We know that. We saw the evidence for that in the beginning of the film.

[B]

He took on a boat. Nice.

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He won the boat. He beat a boat. Okay. So he's strong enough. We don't really see Boris Karloff's Frankenstein's monster do anything physical, but they didn't

[B]

have the special effects.

[A]

Not as much. But I do believe he throws that little girl into the lake.

[B]

He throws her pretty far.

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We tries. He wants to.

[B]

It's Frankenstein. We know Frankenstein's monster. We know the Frankenstein's monster can fucking rip the limbs off of anything.

[A]

This is what we're saying.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

What we're saying two versus the 85 Bears. That a lot of people.

[B]

85 Bears.

[A]

Yes, they were. People were saying that they felt that that was the biggest discrepancy. And a lot of people are also coming at us about the Waymos versus the killer clowns.

[B]

Because.

[A]

Yes, we believed that because the killer

[B]

clowns would have taken out the way. Most personally.

[A]

Oh.

[B]

I guys take that.

[A]

The only reason why I still believe that, like, I still believe Capable. Yeah. Look at him just toss that little girl. That's Boris Carloff as a guy. Right. That just bores Karloff as a man. Never mind Frankenstein's monster.

[B]

That's not a big toss. I could toss fat girl that far.

[A]

He was just doing.

[B]

I tossed girls further than that.

[A]

Yeah. How many times. He's tossing girls.

[B]

Hold on, she drowns.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Spoiler. Spoiler.

[A]

Yeah. Frankenstein's monster, man.

[B]

Oh, is he scared of water too?

[A]

No.

[B]

Then why didn't he go get her?

[A]

Can't swim. Oh, but he's heavy. Weighted boots.

[B]

Yeah. In the neck.

[A]

The people were like the main issues because we said that under the ground, waymos would. I still think they might get signal, but a lot of people didn't think that maybe they could even get the signal out for the drivers in the Philippines to independently operate the waves. Yes.

[B]

And they can't even move down.

[A]

But now sewers got all sorts of WI fi.

[B]

You think so?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Sewers don't have WI fi.

[A]

New York, they all. They got. They all got.

[B]

Talking about the subway.

[A]

That's the subway. It's the sewers.

[B]

No, it's not the sewers. It's the subway.

[A]

I've seen homeless people have the Internet. Most people have the Internet. How do you think that would Sydney Sweeney so popular?

[B]

You know what I mean?

[A]

How do you think these guys are out there doing this? That's her bot army. She hires. That is a little breast made her popular. Yeah, you'd think. But no, it's actually her homeless bot army, which is. She's been working with quite a bit because her breasts are actually installable.

[B]

Oh, really?

[A]

Yeah, they come off in by season. She sheds them. Oh, she goes.

[B]

Yes. Ever.

[A]

Once a season, she goes to the woods. She goes to a tree and she rubs against the tree until they fall off and obviously fall.

[B]

And she makes them into slippers.

[A]

Of course, never waste a piece of Sydney Sweeney's tits. That's the Native American axiom.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You know, they look at Sydney Sweeney's press and they're like. You can get a lot of water in those. You know, that's what I'd say if I was a Native American.

[B]

That'd make a nice hat. I'd make a real nice hat. I tell you that much. You take the meat out of them things, put it right on your head. I mean, a nice hat.

[A]

How? With a scooper.

[B]

There we go. There we go. Now we're good enough.

[A]

There we go. We gotta get there. We got there.

[B]

Yeah. We have a couple updates. Nothing crazy. No updates today.

[A]

You gotta break.

[B]

You're welcome. But we learned a little bit about Nubbins.

[A]

Now I do find it. I asked the audience straight up, what do. Because we talked about last week about our. Our like people also stop calling him my boy. Okay? People could be like, oh, look at your boy. And sending me the videos of the Cornhole champion murderer. He's not my boy.

[B]

You liked him a lot. Nine days ago I did. Nine days ago he was your boy.

[A]

It's kind of amazing how quickly things change. So what was it? What is his name? Dayton Weber. Yeah, Dayton Weber. It's also. We called it La Plata, Maryland. It's. They're like. No, it's straight up La Plato. Like they don't fucking.

[B]

They don't. Yeah.

[A]

No, no Spanish in there.

[B]

Yeah, it's Maryland.

[A]

There's a current video of our cornholer from his ex girlfriend. So this whole story, dude, I watched this. He's on the porch screaming at her, right? Being like get the out of here. Like he's having some meltdown.

[B]

What does he have to be upset about?

[A]

You know, honestly, very little. Truly straight up very little. He has worked really hard. True. But he also. Everybody like he had money, he had a house, he had all the. Right. So this.

[B]

He's got a chip on his shoulder because he can't hold it with his fingers.

[A]

Hello. Somebody get him. Some kind of. Somebody get him.

[B]

Or some kind of. What do you put it? Like a strap.

[A]

That's what he needs. And so this is him screaming his girlfriend.

[B]

Yeah, I watched this. TMZ got it.

[A]

Of course, man.

[B]

TMZ could give a fuck.

[A]

Has to be nice to get. Oh, my property. He has that like that shitty man. That shitty boy voice. I hate the way he screams because he just thinks he's so cool. And the way he stomps off with on his nubs. So we asked the audience straight up what nubbed. What is the actual term for nubs or stubs? And it seems a lot of it is they. Do people just call it nubs and stubs?

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

But also residual limb is the technical PC term.

[B]

Yeah, residual limb.

[A]

And so, but so that video of him screaming at his ex girlfriend, she released it. She gave it to tmz. She was in the car with them. She was not only his ex girlfriend. Yeah, she was the current girlfriend of the guy that got murdered by him.

[B]

Seems like it's connected.

[A]

It's all like this like ridiculous armless legless drama that is going on. And La Play doh. That is just kind of rolling out still to this day. Like a barrel filled with torsos.

[B]

Man.

[A]

It is just keeps rolling and he's a. Again, so many messages even since last week. We. I talked about this, about how he was a piece of. Yeah, he is an abusive dude. They're like how the do you get in the car with the guy, he hates who he's driving, so.

[B]

Driving. Driving.

[A]

Because he has a full outfitted Tesla.

[B]

I know, but there's three people in the car with arms and legs because

[A]

he has a bit of an ego issue. And so he's not only driving, he's with the guy that's now fucking his ex girlfriend and he's fucking trapped and they don't do anything about it and they just kind of let it all go.

[B]

And I also find professional athlete. You think you'd have more friends.

[A]

You'd think. But it turns out heavy is the crowd because they need to pulled out when he shot the guy.

[B]

Right.

[A]

So he shot the guy with his nubbins. He then had the audacity. They asked the two behind him to help him move the body.

[B]

Yeah. And they're like, nah. And they split.

[A]

And they split.

[B]

And then he drove to some person's house and he. And he nubbed the dude out of the car and left him and then drove off. Honestly.

[A]

Fucking. To be honest, it's. It'd be inspiring again if it all just. If you just took the story about this idea of like, you know, my Left Foot, but with murdering people and like methamphetamine and stuff. Yeah, it's a great movie.

[B]

Even my Left foot has more limbs, technically.

[A]

Well, he's got more limbs.

[B]

Got one up on him.

[A]

But he's a painter. Yeah. He does nice constructive things.

[B]

Also very angry. Super women.

[A]

Super angry.

[B]

I don't like talking about this guy because I hate punching down. And that's the only way you can talk about him is because you have to punch down.

[A]

I mean, you know, it's the only worst way to handle him is put him in a basket and throw him over a waterfall.

[B]

That's right.

[A]

Then we're not doing that.

[B]

No, we're not.

[A]

No, no, that's. The law will decide.

[B]

Yeah. If he was born 100 years ago,

[A]

that's what everyone would have. Yeah. Of course he would have snapped his. It would have broken him on rocks. Yeah. I would have thrown him from a cliff and broken him on rocks, but

[B]

he would have been a great Midsummer.

[A]

But he was a good cornholer. Until this day, he still is a good cornholer. I actually think he has been sort of distracted from the competitive circuit.

[B]

Really? Did he lose his last match?

[A]

No, but cornholing. The American Cornholing association, once they got done slurping up all that smegma out of the butthole, they made an announcement disavowing Dayton Weber as well.

[B]

They Totally. You could have just not said anything.

[A]

Oh, Cornholing doesn't. Is not into murder. Weird. I actually thought cornholing was where murder was acceptable. So we don't know. Look at the old lady bras.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Wow. That's some big old bras for that old lady.

[B]

Yeah. Well, Henry's talking about the targeted ads on the article about the Cornholing Murder is all for old lady bras.

[A]

That's where you.

[B]

So I guess that's our target audience as well. Yeah. Where's that, Rob?

[A]

Like a lot of weird things. We all like a Guilford too.

[B]

Henry, you could use an old lady bra.

[A]

No, tell me about it. I think that's why it pops up is from us looking at all the underwear.

[B]

Oh, sure.

[A]

Oh, yeah, yeah. You know, that's what it is.

[B]

Got a bunch of old lady extra old lady bras hanging around. Who? Gypsy Rose?

[A]

See? Wow. Wow. We. Wow. What's a good segue? Do you ever just spend all your money accidentally? Yeah. Right. Crazy how that happens because in your mind you're like, it's just a number on the phone. Money's fake. Can I please have this razor scooter place? Right. But you have to be careful. Keep your head on a swivel because those razor scooter bills stack up. And so staying on top of your money can feel like a lot. But it doesn't have to be. That's where Rocket Money comes in. Rocket Money helps you keep track of your subscriptions and makes it easy to cancel the ones that you're no longer using. All within the app in just a few taps. All right? You're gonna get real time alerts for big purchases, like when you buy a boat or if you get a Starbucks Frappuccino. All right, you're gonna get upcoming bills. It's all sorts of stuff. Rocket Money is going to keep you on track. You're going to know what you're spending no matter what it is, and you're going to laugh about it. Rocket Money is a personal finance app that helps find and cancel unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings. Let Rocket Money help you reach your financial goals faster. [e-mail] LPOTL that's RocketMoney.com RocketMoney.com LPOTL. This podcast is brought to you by Squarespace. Whether you're just starting out or scaling your business, Squarespace is the all in one website platform designed to help your business stand out and succeed online. Squarespace gives you everything you need to offer services and get paid all in one place. From consultations to events and experiences. Showcase your offerings with a customizable website designed to attract clients and grow your business. The best part about it is it can help you design a funnel in which you can very quickly record commercials so that you can get it done while you were desperately trying to get on break. That's the best part about Squarespace. It can really shorten up the time you spend doing things. You got to get in there. You got to get in there. Use Squarespace. Man, is it fast. It is absolutely incredible. You're going to love your experience at Squarespace. Head to squarespace.com left for a free trial and when you're ready to launch, use offer code left to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. This is a paid ad by BetterHelp. BetterHelp connects people with fully qualified therapists who can help them to manage the emotional weight that comes with financial stress. Financial stress extends beyond a budget. It can disrupt sleep, increase anxiety. BetterHelp works with over 30,000 fully qualified therapists.

[B]

You bet.

[A]

A short questionnaire matches you with someone based on your needs so you could focus on your goals instead of navigating the search process. With more than 12 years of experience and industry leading match rate, BetterHelp typically gets it right the first time. If it's not the right fit, you can switch at any time. BetterHelp has served over 6 million people globally and may help if financial stress is weighing on you. When life feels overwhelming, therapy can help. Sign up and get 10 [e-mail] LastPod that's better. H E L P.com LastPod Fly from your grave so Gypsy Rose is back in the news because she is trying to become a influencer. She's trying to put herself back into the we all want her to go away. For those of you that don't remember Gypsy Rose, with the help of an accomplice, Nicholas go to John. They planned and executed the murder of her mother, Dee Dee Blanchard, after Dee Blanchard had obviously tortured her throughout his whole life. Gypsy Rose was made to believe that she suffered from all of these horrific diseases. She was given procedures that she didn't need all to scam these charity organizations and make a wish funds all of this stuff. Eventually it led to her going on a Facebook meeting. Nicholas go to John basically saying, come help me. Nicholas go to John murders her whole long thing, right? Gypsy Rose is released from jail early because technically they think that she's Rebuilt, rehabilitated. And now she's sort of like floundering now.

[B]

She said her time.

[A]

She did her time.

[B]

And she got a couple boyfriends in the process.

[A]

We now know that she's already had a couple of love triangles. But the thing is, is she got a little heat because she did a funny little tick tock meme with some person. Who is this. Who is this no talent person? Natalie Reynolds, who is also a very controversial tick tock.

[B]

No way.

[A]

So Natalie Reynolds, I believe that Rob and I were talking about this before she was made famous, or got herself vaguely famous for paying a hundred dollars to a homeless woman to jump into a lake. And then when she couldn't swim, they ran away from her.

[B]

And did the woman die?

[A]

Just like the Phil Collins song. They just laughed about it. And it was a really funny thing for them. Remember they always said about the Phil Collins song, it was about man drowning.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

That he watched and he wouldn't help. Yeah.

[B]

And his last words were.

[A]

Which is true. And it's completely true. Phil Collins, murderer. Phil Collins is a murderer.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

But where's the tapes?

[B]

He called it. He called the guy out and he put the spotlight on him when the song came on and all that. It's rock legend. It's probably not true.

[A]

So they. But that can happen. So she came out, she said this. So that's what she. So in this meme, it was one of those where it's like, we listen and we don't judge was the meme. So she goes, it goes like, make some kind of noise. And the blonde chick, the evil dumb chick with no abilities, Natalie, she goes and she says, I once paid $100 to have a homeless woman jump in a lake. You want to hear it? I'll just play for.

[B]

Please, I want to hear it.

[A]

Don't judge. One time I dared a homeless woman $20 to jump into the lake. 20 said she couldn't swim.

[B]

And I ran away laughing.

[A]

We don't judge.

[B]

We don't judge.

[A]

We listen and we don't judge. I went to prison for eight and a half years because, like my own mom.

[B]

Oh, my God. Hey. We listen and we don't judge.

[A]

We listen and we don't judge. So this is a. It's a funny little joke that she made about murdering her mother. Now this is. The problem, is that everyone's saying the gypsy rose, who is now all Kardashian doubt. She's got her manicure, she's got fake hair, she's got a tan, fake breasts. All the whole thing. Right. She's completely changed her face in her life. So she needs a change. She did.

[B]

She needed a change.

[A]

She needed a shirt.

[B]

I'm usually not a fan of plastic surgery or anything, but she needed to shoot. She could have. Yeah. Once over.

[A]

You see. See she went and upgraded. Great. So happy. But there. You know, I get it. They're ghouls. These are we're now seeing. We're in the age of ghouls. This person is trying to make easy money. Gypsy Rose is emotionally stunted. I will go as far as to give her that amount of cred to say she's all up.

[B]

She is all up.

[A]

She's all types of up.

[B]

She went to prison, you know, for eight years.

[A]

She was emotionally. Purposely emotionally stunted by her own mother. She was tortured. She then went to jail. So I. I do honestly not showing remorse. Well, why would she really in the end, I. I don't see any complications for her being flippant about what happened. Only in a way because it is her story and you know, it's. Yes, it is in poor taste. The main issue here for me is just like Gypsy Rose go away. I don't think she just needs to go the away for a while and go live a peaceful life. She needs to off to wherever the huck to a girl off to. They both need to go to wherever their purgatory is Cashed out, dude. Well how to it's lucky didn't. She didn't go to hawk to a jail. Right. She should have went to jail.

[B]

I'm kind of proud of her, to be honest with you. She kind of pulled one over on all of society.

[A]

She's a bad person. I in a way I know that people like she didn't know. She knows. She just got kept up in the. She got wrapped up in wanting the money. She had a bunch of money people around her and she did not properly listen to what they were telling her or reading the paperwork that was going on. It's very naive. She's extremely naive. But that is no excuse for ripping a bunch of people off. That's as far as I'm concerned. She. It's one of those where this is Gypsy Rose Blanchard. You got to step away. And maybe I'll just skip to this next story then because we're here.

[B]

Yeah, let's do it.

[A]

In terms of ghouls, is that now because of this. All of this information, I am being forced. The 40 year old men are here now, guys.

[B]

Hello.

[A]

Nobody's happy about it. No one wants to be here. None of us want to be here. I don't want to know who clavicular is. Okay.

[B]

I still don't. I even got like a four page write up and I don't understand this.

[A]

I got this. I wanted to do a little bit about this to talk about this ghoul clavicular and how we are. This person is going to do bad things. They just got arrested on assault stemming from charges. And I believe this was in Orlando, this is in Florida. Yeah, clavicular. For those of you that are happily unaware of who this person is, he is a purposeless influencer on the Internet that does this looks maxing thing, which is really fucking stupid and which he is doing a bunch crazy. He looks stupid, he looks incorrect. So he's got. Looks like an action figure, but not. Not in a good way. His name's fucking Brayden.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

First of all. So that's what we're going to refer to him from now on. Braden as fucking Braden. So Brayden has. His parents were power lifters. They were professional bodybuilders. And he was a little shithead incel. That was just like all the other incels during COVID just mainlining GTA 5, not doing his online classes. But he was deep on all of these Internet forums and in one of those he began, I GUESS at age 14, he started taking testosterone. He would hide the supplements from his parents during puberty. Yes, he was taking testosterone.

[B]

Yes, I guess I was back then too.

[A]

Yeah. You were taking weird stuff because of football and.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

So he's been doing this looks maxing thing, which is essentially just like hardcore, very non healthy ways to make yourself look a specific way for the Internet. Any one of those.

[B]

Kind of like a human kendall.

[A]

Yes. He's also this thing called hard maxing, which is again, utterly useless. It does not work like this. Where they use a theragun and smash up. They do try to smash up the bones to make your bones more. Your chin bones and your cheekbones more pronounced. They use it on your face.

[B]

It's stupid, but it feels good on

[A]

your sinuses for a second. It does, yeah. Honestly. But I can do it for you.

[B]

I love getting my face get the sinuses.

[A]

You can, yeah. When you get up in here, the

[B]

boogers go through your cheeks.

[A]

Yeah. Nice. But yes. So now we know that this guy's starting to commit crimes. There come people that are trying to sign up for his program. So I guess he has this thing. Braden has this thing called the clavicular System on at the claviculars clan for $50 a month where he can tell you to have anorexia and to take steroids. Now this old bone smashing, all of this stuff pales in comparison to the fact that he was just recently. I guess first of all he was arrested or there was a time that he got called the police on him, but he took a 17 year old girl and he did full on his own fat, dissolving peptides, injections into her face. Live streaming.

[B]

Right.

[A]

He has no idea what to do, how to do that. Yes.

[B]

He did this recently?

[A]

Oh yes.

[B]

Was he over 18 when he did this?

[A]

Yes. Yeah.

[B]

You should be in a lot of trouble.

[A]

It takes a lot. It takes a village, Eddie. Another not technically a crime, which was in January of this year, which is like. So we're seeing it build up. He went viral. There was in this Miami club. So he was hanging out with Nick Fuentes, Andrew Tate, all these guys that all. Let's just say I think they're all going to get wiped out one way or another.

[B]

Is that this video of them all playing?

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So they're all hanging out and there was an incident. That was one incident. And then somebody tried to. I guess a stalker tried to. He said a stalker approached him and so he hit that person with his car, which was also live streamed. We see that video. I showed you that.

[B]

Yeah, watch that. He hit the guy with the card. It looks like he ran him over too.

[A]

Absolutely. He says he has no political affiliations, but I just think that means that he's. You're hanging out with.

[B]

If you're hanging out with Nick Fuentes, then he does affiliations.

[A]

He said that he would vote for Garrett Gavin Newsom because he's hotter. Okay. But even that is like I'll take it whatever the it is that you want. I actually also did not know where the whole mogging thing came from.

[B]

I never heard of that word before right this moment.

[A]

It's another zoomer term that is for this. What is. It's basically to be impressive. So it came from. I guess the. One of the things that's here is that it comes from the acronym omar which is alpha male of the group. Because this idea, it's an incel idea that a woman only wants to date the alpha of a group and stuff like that when normally they just want nothing to do with any of you.

[B]

Dude, I was at Disney recently and I saw a guy walking around with this family and he had a shirt on that said always the alpha and

[A]

you're like, you're right, Disney, you're right.

[B]

Like you are like in the least alpha place.

[A]

That's why they wear.

[B]

It exists.

[A]

Yeah. That's why we're. Because no one's gonna challenge them to a fight at Disney. But maybe they stood. Maybe they should, you know. So clavicular. He was. He was in Orlando. Braden was in Orlando this week. Basically he. He had this Airbnb a hype house that he had put together. He lured a 19 year old female influencer over there so that his girlfriend, a 24 year old, could beat the out of her on stream. So the. I guess the thing went poorly. The fight went down poorly and then cut to a Braden punching that girl in the face. So he also hits women. There's also the video of him where he shot at a bunch of dead alligators and the Florida Everglades. All these animal groups are looking into him. I am just basically putting this all out here.

[B]

Oh, we should just.

[A]

Brayden is going to kill somebody. Braden's going to do something really bad. And I think that we all. But ironically, unfortunately, even talking about this is boosting his profile. And I feel like we have to find a way to get rid of these people. And I have no idea how we get rid of the. I think that the Braden's. Whatever the fuck is this shit's going to do is going to be really bad for our country. Yeah. I think that we are looking at the viruses, the cancers that are growing inside of our country right now and we're not doing anything about it. And I have no idea how to do anything about it.

[B]

I mean, obviously these guys aren't going to last. We've seen this type of.

[A]

Of course, yeah.

[B]

Alex Jones.

[A]

Yeah, they come and go. Alex Jones had more subs substance. This website has cult vibes too. It does. He. That's his whole thing. Very cult leader. It is ironically embracing it. The whole thing is to now say the. The words out loud. They say the quote unquote quiet part out loud all the time. Now it's all embracing it so that you can never be so cringe as to do something sincerely.

[B]

Yeah, I mean I'm looking at this guy right now and he totally does not seem like someone who's gonna. Who has a long life ahead of him.

[A]

I mean if, if there's justice, I

[B]

mean just the way that he treats his body.

[A]

But you know, we got the President, United States, America is currently running on fucking peptides right now. God knows what they fucking zap him up with every day to be upright. Someone said this in a tweet, and I actually kind of agreed with this, which is the idea of that you can chart Trump's decision making with. With. With some obvious procedure he gets done every month. Yeah, that there is some procedure he gets done every month. Because they were talking about this when

[B]

he went Adderall in his eyeballs.

[A]

They do something. Because they were talking about how he was. Where was he just at? Oh, he was at L. He was at Graceland. Right. This fat goes to Graceland, gets a private tour at this point. 79 years old. You have never been to Graceland before. Jo, President of the United States of America. Doesn't matter. He goes to Graceland. And they're noting before that he's dragon ass. Like, he has been. Right. He looks like he's on death's door.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Cut to next day. He's asking if he can beat Elvis in a fight. You know what I mean? Like, he's literally gacked out on something. I don't know what the it is that he's gacked out on.

[B]

Who he's always been against drugs and stuff like that. So who knows? Like what. What weird thing they're putting them on?

[A]

Oh, they're putting them. They are jabbing him with some kind of amphetamine. I don't know what it is, but either way, we know that. That Braden takes some oral methamphetamine that he uses for, quote, unquote, pre workout. But I think that Braden. Hopefully society will correct Braden.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I mean, that is what I'm hoping.

[B]

He's just a Stretch Armstrong type of guy.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

He just looks crazy. I think he's gonna eliminate himself.

[A]

I hope so.

[B]

That's what it seems like.

[A]

That's all we can hope for.

[B]

He's doing all kinds of crazy things to his body. That's okay, buddy. I know we don't. We shouldn't be talking about Braden.

[A]

No one likes Brad. No one likes.

[B]

Even Champ doesn't like Braden. Yeah, yeah, but. No, but these guys, I mean, they're not going to last forever.

[A]

I'd like to think not.

[B]

I. It's definitely not. It's definitely not. Eventually chicks are going to realize that.

[A]

I mean, they're not getting light. This is not.

[B]

You have their.

[A]

The people that are with them are sex workers.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Anybody that's with them, they're all into

[B]

gooning and they're all.

[A]

But it's fake. It's all. No, I think a lot of these guys are also. Whatever they're taking. It's eliminating their. Their penises too.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So it's eliminating their boners. It's eliminating their ability to have sex.

[B]

Sex.

[A]

Which is a part of the reason why they're incorporating the no sex, no fap into their own worldview. Because they then don't have to worry about the fact that they have neutered themselves.

[B]

Yeah. Do you see Cash Patel as a Guining page?

[A]

Nothing makes me laugh harder than the fact that of all the places in the world, Cash Patel, the head of the FBI, has an X videos account. Is so funny to me because that is of all of them. That is so trashy. That is so the head of the FBI couldn't get a browser's account. Like literally. The head of the FBI. You really couldn't pay for reality kings. Like, honestly, you have an X videos account under Spider Cash.

[B]

Spider Cash.

[A]

Do you have any idea what kind of loser you have to be to have an account on X videos?

[B]

I don't even know what X videos is.

[A]

It's just a. No, they're free porn. It's free porn.

[B]

Oh, okay. You don't have to make an account.

[A]

To make an account means you're liking and sharing. That means you're commenting. That means you're. Can you. The people that comment on porn videos are some of the funniest.

[B]

Even like, what's the.

[A]

What are you doing? They're just hate filled. Just boner.

[B]

Commenting on a YouTube video is bad. Is suspect.

[A]

Commenting on a YouTube video. If you comment on YouTube videos, I don't want to meet you. Yeah, never mind. If you comment on porn videos, why

[B]

are you sticking around?

[A]

I have no.

[B]

You put on the porn. You jerk off. You come, you leave.

[A]

Yeah, dude. You leave it behind.

[B]

Yeah. You never meet them again.

[A]

Like you. Like what do you go back and you go like, I feel for her father. Is that what you do? Is that all you type?

[B]

Yeah. What do you write, man?

[A]

Spider Cash can go himself.

[B]

Spider Cash. What a dumb.

[A]

He signed up on January 6th. Wow. He was so stressed a year before he. Oh. Oh. For coven. Yeah. That makes sense.

[B]

Sense.

[A]

He really. I hope that they just please. You know what? Thanks Eron.

[B]

Also Cash just jerk off normally.

[A]

Also.

[B]

I think the whole world would be a better place if you jerked off normally.

[A]

This is normal jerking off. But pay for your porn.

[B]

Cash Also head of the FBI. Maybe get a vpn.

[A]

I feel that the. It sounds like he was just on YouTube and now he's head of the FBI. This guy's fucking makes me sick. All right, here we go.

[B]

Is there anything for. Oh, we have one more kind of update that I wanted to talk about.

[A]

Yes. Sure.

[B]

Because we were talking about last week, or maybe it was two weeks ago. It all blurs together for me about the. The woman pissing in the airbnbs and causing $3,000 in damage. Yeah. You know, she fucked up the Crown Royal chair. Which people. People have been sending me all kinds of so many fucking my computer, like, literally, like. Cause I was on ebay looking at that. They're, like, still interested in the Crown Royal chair. It's like, no, I'm not a fucking pervert. I'm really researching.

[A]

I don't need it. Because. Because guess what? More you see it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

The more eventually you're going to be like, huh? Like to look at that chair.

[B]

Search for Crown Royal chair more than once. We saw you do that.

[A]

We know that you do. We know you like this.

[B]

Well, we got.

[A]

We know your wife doesn't want you to have it, but listen, she won't even know. She won't even know. It's only 300. She doesn't even know. Get the Crown Royal chair.

[B]

So we got this Instagram Tik Tok star content creator Tara Woodcocks saying that she washes her underwear in hotel room coffee machines.

[A]

The reason why we got sent this article was because I said that that's the reason why I don't do Airbnbs anymore. So people automatically are saying, oh, see, though, people use that. They use that for their underwear, right? And they see, look at. Oh, she's put her underwear in the coffee machine. And guess what, man? I don't have any problems with it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

It's a filter. Also, if you use the coffee machine in your hotel room, you're a psychopath. Yeah.

[A]

It's got. I mean, this is bad coffee. You're gonna get.

[B]

You're crazy. No, go downstairs and get a real coffee.

[A]

I'm already gonna hear. Because there's some people that believe that the coffee machine in the room. Our co producer, Marcus Parks, our best friend being one of them.

[B]

Really? He's it.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

What?

[A]

Yeah. Who used.

[B]

No one uses. That's the oldest coffee. It's so gross.

[A]

Marcus uses it in the room. Marcus doesn't leave the room, does he?

[B]

So he's drinking the panty coffee.

[A]

Yeah. That's wild. I think he likes it.

[B]

I tried to put my underwear in there. It didn't fit.

[A]

Yeah, I just wrapped the whole system with it.

[B]

And you bash it against the wall. Yeah. That's how you get it done. Yeah.

[A]

See, when I'm steaming my underwear, I do it the old fashioned way where I. I get the steamer, the hot water. Right. I spread my underwear over the toilet bowl and I pour the steaming water through the underwear to clean it. Okay. Be a professional.

[B]

Also in the video, I watched it. She's using a Keurig machine. There's no way.

[A]

That's not good advice to be honest. She's using the Keurig machine and you

[B]

know, to show how tiny she is.

[A]

What a braggart.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

Teenies. She's just a small bean.

[B]

Just a little carrot cup.

[A]

A mole bean. No, it sounds like she put it in the water.

[B]

Well, no, she put it in the thing and ran the hot water through it.

[A]

Put your where the coffee ground should be.

[B]

That's what she says. Yeah, she put it in the little Keurig holder.

[A]

Oh. Is it just a cleaner underwear?

[B]

Yeah, it's just a cleaner underwear. When she's on the road with dirty

[A]

underwear, you know what I'll say? Buy new underwear.

[B]

That's what I do.

[A]

Always.

[B]

I love it. That's how I get my underwear.

[A]

Of course, whenever I run out of

[B]

it on the road.

[A]

We've talked about this.

[B]

Have we?

[A]

I don't remember what I believe that we've talked about this. I bring my blown out water one sometimes so they to the hotel just to mess them up one last time,

[B]

send them a good my good old adios

[A]

and throw them out. She's very busy. She's got three kids. Like she doesn't have time to go to the washer and dryer. Normalize. We're getting new panties.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Yeah, they're really not that. I'm sorry. I know that these are tough economic times. I know that. But your new panties are not super expensive. I think that you can get new panties pretty easy. I also think that straight up, ladies. I know that you guys got different liquids. Just go commando too.

[B]

Yeah, it's hot. Also, I gotta say, one thing I've done for myself that's really made my life better is I actually spend good money on underwear.

[A]

Well, that's the difference is that. That's called being old. Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That's called understanding certain things.

[B]

I'm going at least like 15 to $20 a pair.

[A]

Oh. I'm going fancy underwear, it's all like dick and bowls.

[B]

And also it holds together longer.

[A]

It does, it does.

[B]

I've had the same pairs for multiple years.

[A]

Y. I don't rip through them like I used to just blow through some underwear.

[B]

I used to. When I was so poor, I used to get the. What was it called?

[A]

The wrong cut ones.

[B]

They were all. Yeah.

[A]

The ones that were slightly imperfect.

[B]

That's what it would be called every time. Like the would be on your knee.

[A]

Oh, yeah, dude.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

Like, I'd get like, I'd go get the whitey tighties that like, had a slant to them.

[B]

You know what I mean?

[A]

Where they were kind of like a. Yeah, yes, yes. Kind of cockeye. Yeah.

[B]

That was like.

[A]

Like that's how I lived for years. So long. Yeah. So.

[B]

And then I would go through these. I would like. Because they'd rip and they'd be imperfect and I would go. I ended up spending the same amount of money on underwear that made my dick touch my ear when I should have just been wearing nice underwear the whole goddamn time.

[A]

Also one of those. Get one skid mark.

[B]

Just throw it out. Oh, yeah.

[A]

Because I was getting more skid marks back in the day. Now I don't get them.

[B]

Yeah, it's because you drink water now.

[A]

No, because I was like at my butthole blown out by my bidet each morning.

[B]

Oh, I don't have a bidet. I don't leave skid marks.

[A]

Well, you got less hair. I think up in the crevice.

[B]

It's true. I'm able to get it out. Call me a squirrel because I'm covered in acorns. That's right. So many people are focused on where their money is today. And Acorns is the financial wellness app that cares about where your money is going tomorrow. Let Acorns work for you. You put acorns in the ground and you're gonna get trees tomorrow. That's right. Investments. And with the Acorns potential screen, you could find out what your money is capable of.

[A]

I always do that.

[B]

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[A]

Wow.

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[A]

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[B]

I remember when I used to have my own like, like homemade security system born with a nail in it tied above a window. You know, I did that kind of deal. I did the I got those tire things that if you roll over one way you can get out, but if you try to come back, it pops your tires. I put those in my front door and it became difficult to open my door. But you figure it out. You get a lever. You do these things, all right, Take a bunch of shadows, glass and stick it right by the bathroom. So if someone walks on it with their bare feet, they scream. That's the security system I used to have and it was kind of effective. But now I use Simplisafe and Simplisafe. It really keeps the bad guys out of my house. Not just the bad guys, bad bears as well. You know, people always think, is this? Is it a person that's going to come and hurt me while I'm asleep? Maybe. But it could also be a bear and won't you want your alarm to go off if a bear comes in your front door? Yes, you do. Simplisafe will help protect you from these bears. You can set the alarm to bear and it'll just go bear, bear, bear, bear, bear when it opens. Can it do that? I don't really know. But Simplisafe, they're gonna protect you. Experience peace of mind with Simplisafe. And right now they're offering an exclusive discount for just my listeners. You can get 50% off your new system by visiting simplisafe.com lpotl that's half [e-mail] lpotl yell there's no safe. Like simply safe

[A]

out. Speaking of people that have hair in the crevice, this story is one of the most mysterious things that's currently going on in the United States of America. This is about the mystery of five missing scientists.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Connected to the UFO community.

[B]

It is nuts. We talked about it twice before, loosely, just like kind of mentioned it it. But now that we're up to five, it has to be, something's going down.

[A]

We're up to eight. So this is, it's very interesting right now. Two very connected military personnel to, they're, they're deeply connected to our space defense systems. Yeah, these are people that are working for space weapons, projected beam weapons, propulsion technology. All who seem to be connected through Wright Patterson Air Force Base. The first one was William Neil McCaslin. Well, not the first. The most latest one was William Neil McCasland. He is a general. This guy is a big fucking deal. He went missing in late February from his home in Albuquerque, New Mexico. He's 68 years old. Couple of things are super weird about it. He had deleted the contents of his phone and left it behind. He got rid of all of his wearable devices. He had no headphones, he had Google glasses. He left them behind and he left his. They now can't seem to find his wallet, his gun or a backpack.

[B]

Yeah, and he just went straight into the woods. 68 year old man in the middle

[A]

of February, walked away from his house. Gone. No idea where the hell he went. Yeah, that was, that was of this year. Last year in I believe was around November. NASA aerospace engineer Monica Reza. Almost same exact thing. Worked at Wright Patterson Air Force Base for a couple of like different projects. Work with space age technology used for advanced propulsion. Almost same thing. Phone left behind. Deleted content deleted. Just left. Yeah, walked out the house, never came back. Like we don't know where they are. Right. So this Is a whole. There's a lot of like, we got

[B]

two other guys that were just straight up shot.

[A]

Oh, there's this. We're getting there. So the main thing about these two guys, like McCasland, which is interesting, is that they opened up this giant can't like, search party for him, but he's so top secret that they literally had to keep the public from looking for him. So the. The public was not allowed to go look for him. That's how top secret he is.

[B]

That doesn't make any sense.

[A]

Like the. Essentially, like whoever finds him has to be military because of what he might. Because of what he knows.

[B]

So this guy's dead.

[A]

God knows. I mean, who fucking knows, right? So these are. Both. These people are just missing. Missing. So that's just the first, like, bigger. It's like. Okay, then cut to Nuno Lorero. Right? A guy that worked. He was in Boston, another guy who worked for this thing called the director of the Plasma Science and Fusion center at Massachusetts Institute of Technology. So they were over, like at MIT and they were. He was working in plaza physics, this guy. Plasma physics. This guy was shot on his front lawn. But the guy that shot him got caught and he said, oh, it was because personal reasons. But strange because again, they're all connected. Yeah.

[B]

Who randomly shoots a scientist, A guy

[A]

that apparently was super mad at him. They still have not talked about why.

[B]

Yeah, there's no motive.

[A]

We don't know yet. Then there was Carl Grill, mayor, who was killed inside of his home on February 16, 2026. He was gunned down in his front porch. He found water on an exoplanet, like literally a habitable planet for us to get to. Like, that's what he worked in. One of, I find interesting. One of the technologies that, that they were all working on. One of the things that the companies that they work for was the Defense Threat Reduction Agency. And I thought that that was very interesting because what they do is work on like, essentially ways to defend against, like, acts of God.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Viruses, the meteors, this type of thing. One thing that they created was this, which I find interesting, is all connected to Wright Patterson Air Force Base, which is, if you believe the center of where the actual secret history of UFOs is. Right. It's not. It's not in Los Alamos. It's not at Area 51. It's at Wright Patterson.

[B]

Okay?

[A]

All of the. The whatever crashed during the Roswell crash went to Wright Patterson.

[B]

Okay?

[A]

That is where all of this shit goes. So they work on this One thing that it's about like they created this way of trucking. Like people that are like transported like this kind of the way they put. It's isolate. It's a transport isolation system that they built this like incredibly ornate truck essentially to take sick people. Yeah. From place to place. What also could go in that alien. Right. Like that was like one thing. I thought it was like that alien. You could go into something like that. You also got a lot of like it's project. It's propulsion systems.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

It's all these things. So they get. So that all of these signs those guys got. Those guys died. This is another one that. Did you hear about the double murder? Homicide. No, suicide. So. So three deaths, three Wright Patterson Air Force Base personnel. This kid. This is October of last year, right before Halloween.

[B]

Okay. So we were busy.

[A]

We were super busy. But this. This is one of those word. Now it's all just. It's like packing up. It's like stacking up. Right. Yeah. The victims were Jamie Gustitis, who worked at the 7.711th Human Performance Ring Wing. Jamie Pritchard, who worked in the Air Force Life Cycle Management Center Center. So this guy, he essentially. David Jacob Pritchard, who was the guy who killed them both and then killed himself. They worked all together. They worked together. The Ray Patterson Air Force Base. We. There was no indication of a love triangle whatsoever. Jeff Pritchard shot his wife. He then drove to this person's house, shot them. Did like this Jamie Gustitis person. Yeah. He then shot himself in the mouth.

[B]

Mouth.

[A]

Don't know why.

[B]

Sound like MK Ultra type stuff.

[A]

It sounds like aura. The. So one of the things that's being banded about that we're seeing a lot like J.D. vance recently. He's now repeating that aliens are demons and we know that Trump come from

[B]

the ground, aliens come from the sky.

[A]

You got his very simple. Even the gets it.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Get it straight. Okay. I think that J.D. vance came out and he's repeating the aliens or demons. We know that Trump was trying to wave this disclosure thing around, but then his general stopped it. Yeah. They basically just also said we think they're their demons. Right. They. We don't. We do not believe in the demon and we are scared of the demon.

[B]

Well that's what happens when you put a bunch of evangelicals in charge.

[A]

Everybody's a moron. Right. You have Peter Hegseth making us a pure Christian army. Good luck. Yeah, enjoy that. Hope you hope you guys like going to Iran. But this. This story is kind of now Making certain things make sense to me. Which is according to, like, some guys. There's been several whistleblowers that talk about how, like, Jimmy Carter. Like, the story of Jimmy Carter was apparently told the truth, quote, unquote.

[B]

Right.

[A]

What we know. And he cried for two days. And they talk about this idea that there are people.

[B]

Mr. Peanut's not a real man. That's my cousin. What about the hat?

[A]

I saw him dance. Can I go back to my peanut farm now? Now that peanuts aren't.

[B]

Man.

[A]

I don't even know. I can't even do it. Don't care about Jimmy Carter. So the.

[B]

It's our last season president. Good problem.

[A]

And so the. But these stories of this idea of people talking about the truth being revealed and it being devastating. And it seems what would be most devastating to an evangelical group of men. That somebody else put us here. Yeah. That we're.

[B]

That God is an alien.

[A]

Quote, unquote. God, if it exists. We might have met God and God might be a thing out there.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like maybe that's a possible example of. We know that there's something about the origin of man that is connected to this that is some kind of groundbreaking, crazy thing. And it kind of sounds like a really good way to sort of kind of discredit even. That is discredit the Gods before they show up.

[B]

Up. Yeah.

[A]

And start calling the gods demons now.

[B]

So when they show up, we all think we got to fight the demons.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

And you know who's gonna do that?

[A]

Ice Broccoli. Yep. Ice is gonna love it. They are gonna love it. But also, between this and we were talking about CERN transporting antimatter for the

[B]

first time in a truck, which is very sorcerer.

[A]

So you know what I'm thinking straight up? You know where the next fucking big money is?

[B]

What?

[A]

Trucking.

[B]

I mean, trucking is always big dude, though.

[A]

But sensitive trucking, antimatter, trucking. Anti. Like alien transport, Alien transpo. Dude. Fucking truck drivers are about to get a lot more alienated. Literally. They are about to become that much more impossible to relate to.

[B]

So antimatter. Okay. From what I understand, and I don't understand much antimatter, if it touches matter, it dissolves the matter.

[A]

No idea.

[B]

No idea.

[A]

No. I don't even know the antimatter from.

[B]

I read the article that it had to be suspended in midair.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

And it couldn't touch the walls of the truck inside. And so, like, it was a very perilous truck trip.

[A]

I just think that the idea that we're going to put this more. And there's no. There's nobody I trust more more than reality shattering anti matter than a union man.

[B]

Yeah, Teamster.

[A]

That's what I like. I like a Teamster getting in there, man.

[B]

The Teamsters are too involved. Trying to break up the HBO Paramount merger.

[A]

As they should. As they should. All right.

[B]

You forgot one person that's missing. The newest one. Well, she's been missing for a while, but Melissa Cassius.

[A]

Yes. That is also another. Another missing. She worked it.

[B]

She worked at Los Alamos and she went and they connected her to everyone else else. She went missing in June of 2025. She was connections to UFO linked refire retired Air Force General William Castellan.

[A]

Yeah, that's the guy Castellan who we're just talking about. They were all connected. They work together.

[B]

So they brought her daughter lunch and then there's camera footage of it and no one ever saw her again.

[A]

This is my question. Side Stories LPOTL gmail.com I'd love to hear your theories. What would wiping these guys out hide like it seems if you were to do a mass attack of these top secret scientists? To me, besides the fact that our government currently is the worst. I literally. They are so bad at being villains that I wouldn't put in past them just fucking all this up.

[B]

Well, they also are very horny for new weapons.

[A]

So why kill the people that are making the new weapons?

[B]

Or maybe they wouldn't be allowed to use them if they were still alive.

[A]

Life. I mean. No, but that's not their, that's not their goal. Albert Einstein couldn't stop the, the, the bomb from happening.

[B]

No.

[A]

You know, Auburn Heber could stop the bomb from happening. These guys have no say once they develop it, then it goes out the door.

[B]

I mean there's a. A reason to kill him. I mean we're using these sound weapons like we've never used before. But we used torpedoes for the first time Since World War II recently in the straight of Hormuz.

[A]

But we are talking about. About space dominance. This is about space weapons. That's what I find interesting. Like this is the stuff that we're gonna eventually use in the war against China in space that these guys are literally developing.

[B]

Yeah. Meanwhile there's meteors fly into the goddamn Earth.

[A]

We got a lot of that. But also apparently that's a little bit more common than I thought it was.

[B]

I think a lot of it's probably just trash. These satellites are clanging into each other.

[A]

Oh yeah.

[B]

You know, everyone, every corporation could just Throw them up there now. And so like they' banging against each other. And I think they're just falling back to Earth.

[A]

I mean we're already talking about. We know that there's been a lot of debris from the. All the new private space programs. They're just like leaving stuff in space. Things fall down all the time. Things also up other satellites in space because there's just hovering garbage. Yeah.

[B]

So anyway, we are kind of building a shield around the Earth.

[A]

I think in that way our ignorance is our blessing.

[B]

It's actually helping us.

[A]

It might.

[B]

Yeah. It's replacing the ozone.

[A]

See, I actually wonder, there's a little part of me that was saying like, you know, like the goes that aliens started arriving here when we could turn on atomic power, like we could tack into the atom. The reason why they showed us here because they thought like, oh, it's like a turning point for a civilization. Maybe that was like one theory. Part of me actually now is even wondering if the reason why they started showing up when we could blow stuff up at that level is that they're like, oh, they can kill us now.

[B]

It's possible.

[A]

And that, that before they couldn't kill us, but now they can actually kill us.

[B]

And not just we can kill.

[A]

We are very violent and we will kill them. Yeah.

[B]

That's the other thing. If we were a peaceful place that had weapons, who gives a.

[A]

Yes, we need weapons.

[B]

Yeah. But we obviously we've been at war for as long as I've been alive.

[A]

It's a part of our consciousness is hardwired into the way we exist. Yeah. Fighting each other.

[B]

What is it like America hasn't been at war for like 15 total years or something like that.

[A]

Well, we know it's also because we don't call them wars anymore. Anymore? Yeah, like now we're just not, you know, we're almost an operation.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

We haven't had. I don't think we've had a legit war since WW2 almost. Right. Like didn't they call Vietnam a police action and then Afghanistan wasn't even a war. Like a war on terror. Doesn't mean anything.

[B]

We call them war. We call them wars, but they're not wars. But they are wars. It's all very stupid.

[A]

It's how we get around everything, is how we just get to just go and do whatever the it is we want.

[B]

When you go to another country and you start killing everybody, I'm going to go ahead and say it's right. War.

[A]

Unless of course, nobody's making money off of it because then it's like a tree falling in the forest with nobody to hear it.

[B]

There's lots of money being made right now.

[A]

Yep. Oh, yeah. Everywhere. Everywhere. But if for the people that live in the countries, that's all. But don't worry. All the guys running the wars, they're making quite a bit of money. Trump has literally stolen something in like $15 billion that he doesn't need, that he has been disseminating to his evil sons. Can't wait to see Baron Trump on the front lines sense. I think that's going to be a great way to inspire the troops. Having him tower in front of the rest, collecting bullets, knowing that he's do. Sacrificing himself.

[B]

He's our William Perry.

[A]

I think that if he could go and sacrifice, like, I'll forgive him if he goes and sacrifices himself in Iran. I'll. I'll say one nice thing about him.

[B]

Really?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

Despite the fact that he might not have killed a maid yet.

[B]

Yet. Yeah. Well, how about I got to say something nice about him right now? He's so tall.

[A]

He's so tall.

[B]

He's so tall.

[A]

But also he's. I'm pretty certain he's non verbal.

[B]

No. Yeah, yeah. I've got. I definitely had plenty of people tell me who went to school with him that he's like uncommunicatable. Yeah.

[A]

But he loves Andrew Tate. That's his core audience.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

People who can't talk to their fathers.

[B]

Meanwhile. Years old.

[A]

Yeah, he's 20 years old.

[B]

20 years old.

[A]

Yeah. That's why he's fair game.

[B]

Yeah. We could talk about him. He's just as old as clavicular.

[A]

Oh, wow. Wow. Him and Braden. Him and Braden need to get together.

[B]

They really do. And they will.

[A]

They probably get along.

[B]

I'm sure they probably know each other. To be honest with you.

[A]

No. Baron and BR are going to get together eventually and whatever they do is going to cause a lot of women misery. Yeah.

[B]

I think it's good. You know, it's. I'm sure both of their fathers are pedophiles and so it'll be easy for them to have something to commiserate about.

[A]

Baron's father is definitely a pedophile. Click. Of Braden's fam. Father. I really think he was just a son of a. For happening. Having him.

[B]

Oh. I mean, that's the thing.

[A]

He's just guilty by. By his come.

[B]

Yeah, man. We're never gonna catch a pedophile unless their name is Boo. Boo the Clown.

[A]

Oh, Boo Boo the Clown. He messed up, didn't he? Boo Boo the Clown. That's one Boo Boo you're not gonna want to kiss better.

[B]

And so Bobby Arthur Owen, he's 64 years old. He's known in Eugene and Springfield as Boo Boo the Clown.

[A]

Now, Boo Boo. Oh. He got arrested on 22 counts of child sex, sexual assault.

[B]

Damn.

[A]

Including glued acts on a child, oral copulation, and digital penetration with a foreign object. You know, Boo Boo the Clown, I hate that act. And I wish that he'd stopped doing it. And that was like my main thing when I first saw. He did that. You ever see that where he made the. He made the zucchini go away.

[B]

Oh, is that the thing?

[A]

Yeah, and the boy just goes like, oh. And it pops out of his mouth, right? It goes out you. Oh. Because he put it. He slid it. It right up inside him and slid out. These are old jokes. Obviously, he. He was getting just the one child.

[B]

Yeah, no, he. He was in a lot of trouble. He's in a lot of trouble. He's gonna go to jail.

[A]

Look. Hey, how you doing? Hey there, Boo Boo.

[B]

He was a.

[A]

What are you doing now, Boo Boo? Get your fingers out of that child. Boo Boo.

[B]

He operated on LinkedIn as Boo Boo the Clown Entertainment locally from 1996 to 2002. And then he became a truck driver for Coca Cola.

[A]

Oh, nice. You know it. He also, apparently when he was caught, he did his signature.

[B]

Oh.

[A]

Oh, me made a mistake.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

That's basically it.

[A]

I love Boo Boo the Clown, man. The cloudy is just.

[B]

Here's the thing. We're not going to talk about a normal child molester, but if his name is Boo Boo the Clown, I feel like it have to. It has to be brought up.

[A]

We are literally only doing this story because of the headline, Boo Boo the Clown convicted of child sex assault. Yeah. I would not be doing it otherwise.

[B]

Yeah, there's really not much of an article here except he did it and he's going to go to jail for a while.

[A]

Why is the headline of that? Smiles, Tears, Lubriderm. I think it was. This was like a. I don't know, some sort of biography article about him from years ago. Why is Lubriderm in there?

[B]

I think it's because what he used for.

[A]

No, this is before that. Years before. It's about being a clown. About being a clown.

[B]

That's just a clown article.

[A]

Maybe to get the makeup off or something.

[B]

Something. Oh, okay.

[A]

All right.

[B]

Well, that's just a Clown.

[A]

Then it sounds like it's bit of a boo boo mentioning how you get it doing, you know?

[B]

Well, good luck with your sentencing on May 8th.

[A]

Boo boo.

[B]

Yeah, thank you.

[A]

Nobody wants to see my flower trick in jail.

[B]

Prison's about to get a lot worse.

[A]

I hope you guys like jokes and bits. Uh oh. You just gave me a boo boo in my butthole. Oh, sorry. Sacramento just got a little less funny.

[B]

Yeah, no more boo boo. Boo, boo,

[A]

boo boo. You go to prison, boo boo.

[B]

What you. What you got in that picnic basket?

[A]

It's a child. It's a child. I collect them. I've never had an Asian. I've never had an Asian. Little Peking duck, a little teriyaki.

[B]

Yum, yum, yum.

[A]

Suck, suck, suck. Boo boo at it again.

[B]

All right, well, let me see if we get some listener mail.

[A]

I don't have an aids. I got a. Oh, okay. No listener. No, listen, I got a stinger if you guys want one.

[B]

I mean, we'll listen to a stinger, but I don't think we got any good mail.

[A]

I ain't got no. No mail. I got no good mail this week.

[B]

People just hate pickleball.

[A]

Honestly, the main thing was the anti pickleball sentiment, which I really usually take

[B]

a stance against something. People come back and attack us. This time, everyone's like, no, pickleball.

[A]

Everybody said pickleball. Multiple. Multiple doctors were like, pickleball's a scourge. Pickleball is ruining older men.

[B]

Pickleball tried to kill my mom.

[A]

They're like, people just saying straight up, like. Because that's what I was saying too. We were. We were prepping yesterday. It's because, like, Cena, who is our resident pickleball expert and obsessive, right? He's full into pickleball. The thing is, is that for over the foreign report, he is a former collegiate, like, tennis player, so he's good at it. He's really good. And what I was finding is that every time when I went to go play with him, he's all over the court, and he's doing it with the real tennis serves, and he's with. I'm not. I'm. I'm pinned between a bunch of all these tryhards all used to play some sport. Now they're at pickleball, where I'm like, I'm just at pickleball. You guys are all have brought other sports energies to this stupid playground activity. And now, like, I was like, you're all too serious.

[B]

Yeah, Cena's got the Athleticism of a cocker spaniel. But he's all over that court.

[A]

And guess what? Immediately, he did hurt his shoulder again, of course. And so everybody does it. You go in there and it's like time reels back and you think that you can do all this stuff and you can't anymore. More. And it's heartbreaking.

[B]

Racquetball. Racquetball's gone. No one cares about poor racquetball anymore.

[A]

I miss racquetball.

[B]

I like racquetball. That's where you get some deals done.

[A]

Have you done. People played racquetball?

[B]

Once or twice. I'm not good at anything.

[A]

What about badminton?

[B]

We used to play this badminton.

[A]

What are we, little girls?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I know that they're very fast.

[B]

More badminton than anything else, I will say. Actually, I will say that.

[A]

Yeah. Because my grandfather had a badminton set and we had. We had. We always played badminton.

[B]

Yeah. We used to play a game called ass where we would take a tennis ball and we throw it against the. The wall. And if it came and it hit you and you didn't catch it, then you had to run and touch the wall.

[A]

Yeah, we call that. We call that. Yeah.

[B]

Oh, yeah. We just played ass. So we let you get the three letters and then we line you up and we just beam the out of you.

[A]

Yeah, I remember.

[B]

That was fun. Yeah. For the back of the head, I'd

[A]

play more wall ball sports.

[B]

Yeah, I like that. I miss that.

[A]

I would do that.

[B]

I think I'd be down to do. Because, you know, I mean, now is the time to get into racquetball because the courts are empty.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Everyone's playing pickleball.

[A]

Let's take it back.

[B]

Take back racketball.

[A]

Sick of fighting for space. And I don't know all the stupid rules. I don't know all their. The societal little rules. I don't understand. I don't want to go into another environment in which I don't know anything and everybody's yelling at me. I'm sick of the I don't know how to claim the court. Court. I know you all know. Oh, yeah. Oh, Jerry's big dog here. I don't give a. I've never met Jerry before. Yeah, you're throwing the name Jerry around like I'm supposed to know who you're referring to. And you're just talking about the one guy with veneers over there that's obviously scoping out all the peace. Yeah, but I'm not here to. I'm here to get Some kind of cardio. And to leave my wife alone.

[B]

Yeah, that's.

[A]

Give her room.

[B]

She needs her space.

[A]

Yes. So that's why I'm here, bro. And I don't want to hear. I don't want to be a part of your world here.

[B]

It's weird because our wives are similar, except, like, yours wants you to leave and mine wants me there. I think that's the big difference.

[A]

But then, like, she gets mad when you're there. Yeah, yeah.

[B]

No, that's the thing. That's the whole thing. You know, it's. It's very. It's very. It's very. You know, it's how we live.

[A]

The towel.

[B]

It's called.

[A]

It's called life.

[B]

It's called life. Hey, you know, and we love it.

[A]

I've never known not. Go to patreon.com Last podcast on the left and you can pay to see. Let's do this show ad free. No, you can't say it's c. You listen. You can pay to listen to our show ad free. You can also see last stream on the left live every Tuesday, 5pm PST. You can go get it right on there. And you can live every day knowing for a fact that Henry Zabrowski is out here hungry as balls.

[B]

Yeah, man.

[A]

Love the fact that Henry's struggling right now and he needs to get his weed because he's so hungry and he knows he has chicken thighs waiting for him at home, and he is going to laugh when he do it.

[B]

Just chicken thighs.

[A]

Put them in my mouth.

[B]

I made my first ham salad yesterday. I'm very excited. I got some upstairs. I wanted to feed it to you.

[A]

I would try it.

[B]

Yeah, I'll give it to you. You'll see if it's good or not.

[A]

It's my first time, I imagine. Good.

[B]

I think it's fine. It's fine. It's a good.

[A]

Is it the same as any other salad?

[B]

I mean, yeah, it's like chicken salad, except I put eggs in it.

[A]

Can I go get it real quick?

[B]

Yeah, go get it.

[A]

Go get the ham salad. No, let's not do the eating thing because people fucking get angry.

[B]

Yeah, it's fine. It's fine. It's fine. I'll. I'll show you guys. I got a whole video coming out. We're promoing our. Our Cincinnati show on April 25th. So I made some ham salad. I did my best Bridgetown Meats impersonation, and I did. I did what I could.

[A]

And unheard of. That brand knows that we're coming.

[B]

Do they? Yep.

[A]

Yeah, I'm gonna go. We're going right there. We're gonna get outfitted.

[B]

Hell, yeah. Side Stories is on the road. Make sure you check us out. We're gonna be in Anchorage on April 17th. That show sold out. April 18th, we're gonna be in Fairbanks, Alaska.

[A]

Come out. That's my wife's birthday and she is not thrilled. But you got come out. Yes, because of that fact.

[B]

Because of that fact. Because Henry's going to Fairbanks and spend. Instead of spending Natalie's birthday with her, you come out.

[A]

We're gonna have a good time celebrating my wife's birthday without her. Which means we can eat a lot of, like, a lot of pork. Yeah.

[B]

Bring the meats. Bring the meats, please. Lexington, Kentucky, they got the meats. April 26th, we're gonna be there. May 7th, Netflix is a joke. We're gonna be here in LA with Billy Wayne Davis. Gonna be a lot of fun. May 30th, Rochester, New York. And June 28th, London, Ontario. If you're in LA this Friday. That's right, two days from now. Good Friday. Lyric Hyperion with Amber Nelson and Ashley Brook Roberts. Come see me. Amber and I are doing a full set each. It's going to be a blast. April 11th, P Funk Fest. April 12th, Jacksonville. And I got a whole bunch of dates that are popping on eddytunes.com this week. I'm coming to Phoenix. Phoenix, D.C. denver. Plano, Texas. Bethlehem.

[A]

Plano.

[B]

Plano.

[A]

Yep.

[B]

All right, all right. I figured it was Spanish.

[A]

No, no.

[B]

Plano, Texas, Bethlehem, Penns, and Newark, New Jersey. Go to eddytunes.com for tickets.

[A]

Yeah, you. So enjoy your week.

[B]

We'll see you out there, won't we?

[A]

Hell State.

[B]

Hail. Who was decent this week? You know, Hail Project, Hail Mary. I really enjoyed that movie. Great. I had a great time watching that. Go see that movie.

[A]

I'm excited to see it.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

I'll get in there. And Doug, there's nowhere I wouldn't go to help someone customize and save on car insurance with Liberty Mutual. Even if it means sitting front row at a comedy show. Hey, everyone, check. Check out this guy and his bird. What is this your first date? Oh, no. We help people customize and save on car insurance with Liberty Mutual together. We're married. Me to a human, him to a bird. Yeah, the bird looks out of your league. Anyways, only pay for what you [e-mail] Liberty. Liberty. Liberty. Liberty.