Last Podcast on the Left: Side Stories - Darts & Farts (June 25, 2025)

Hosted by The Last Podcast Network, "Last Podcast on the Left" delves into the darkest corners of real and imagined horrors. In the "Side Stories: Darts & Farts" episode, hosts Henry Zebrowski and Marcus Parks explore a variety of bizarre and macabre tales, blending dark humor with chilling narratives.

1. Sperm Racing Frenzy

[01:32 - 09:08]

The episode kicks off with an unconventional and humorous exploration of sperm racing, a bizarre phenomenon highlighted by the National Institute of Spermatozoa Exploration. Henry introduces the concept:

Henry Zebrowski [01:36]: "...they created a super tiny track and there's a bunch of commentators and two guys, they ejaculate into petri dishes and then they race their sperm each other."

Marcus Parks expresses skepticism about the contestants' techniques:

Marcus Parks [02:02]: "They could just get drunk and move the sperm, but if you can get the sperm to move faster, that's a win."

The hosts delve into the implications of such competitions, joking about the state of modern sperm quality and the lengths individuals might go to compete:

Henry Zebrowski [03:33]: "I just feel like if my semen were in there, they'd just be log jamming the other tracks."

The discussion takes a satirical turn as they imagine the sperm behaving with personalities, enhancing the absurdity of the sport.

2. The Karen Reed Murder Trial

[10:03 - 19:47]

Transitioning to a more serious topic, Henry and Marcus dissect the high-profile case of Karen Reed, a financial advisor accused of murdering Boston police officer John O'Keefe.

Henry outlines the case dynamics:

Henry Zebrowski [12:06]: "Karen Reed left early from a party and John O'Keefe was found dead in the snow. They claim she hit him with her SUV."

They critique the handling of the investigation, highlighting police corruption and mishandling of evidence:

Marcus Parks [14:40]: "If you ever think about killing somebody, you know, do all your text messages months ahead of your Google searches."

Despite the odds, Karen Reed's trial results in her exoneration—a rare outcome in cases tainted by police corruption. The hosts commend her ability to navigate the legal system and manage public perception.

Henry Zebrowski [16:11]: "She had a lot of money. She managed to get herself out in front of cameras. She was on Dateline and all these things."

Their analysis underscores the challenges of prosecuting corrupt law enforcement and the impact of media presence on legal outcomes.

3. The Disturbing Disneyland Paris Wedding

[25:21 - 44:35]

In perhaps the most unsettling side story, Henry and Marcus recount the case of a British man attempting to marry a 9-year-old girl at Disneyland Paris.

Henry provides the grim details:

Henry Zebrowski [33:34]: "He set up an elaborate fairy tale wedding, renting out Disneyland Paris for €115,000..."

As hundreds of guests arrive, it's revealed they're all paid actors, including Ukrainian nationals posing as the bride's family. The scenario unravels when Disneyland staff notice the inappropriate nature of the event, especially the involvement of a minor.

Marcus Parks laments the ease with which such a situation was orchestrated:

Marcus Parks [36:56]: "And you have a nine-year-old to choose plates? Just get him to sit still long enough to say, you're going to be my wife soon."

The hosts critique the perpetrator's twisted motives, emphasizing the predatory nature of such actions:

Henry Zebrowski [39:14]: "He's a pedophile with that X factor."

They discuss the legal repercussions and societal outrage, painting a bleak picture of the lengths some individuals will go to perpetrate abuse under the guise of fantasy.

4. The Magdalene Laundries Scandal

[44:37 - 51:30]

Henry and Marcus shift focus to a historical atrocity involving the Magdalene Laundries in Ireland. These institutions, run by Catholic nuns, housed unwed mothers and their children, leading to the tragic deaths of 798 infants.

Henry details the inhumane conditions:

Henry Zebrowski [46:37]: "The home was a maternity home for unwed mothers and their children run by a religious order of Catholic nuns."

They discuss the horrifying discovery of the remains, primarily dumped in septic tanks, and the broader implications of institutional abuse:

Marcus Parks [45:22]: "The unmarried pregnant women were sent to the home to give birth and then interned for a year to do unpaid work."

The conversation highlights the systemic failure and moral corruption within these institutions, leading to governmental apologies and compensation schemes for survivors.

Marcus Parks [48:33]: "The Magdalene laundries closed their doors in the 1990s. Ireland's government issued a formal state apology in 2014."

Through this discussion, the hosts shed light on the dark legacy of institutional abuse and the long road to justice for the victims.

5. Adam Christopher Sheaf's Violent Rampage

[59:48 - 73:35]

One of the episode's most intense moments covers the story of Adam Christopher Sheaf, a man from Flagstaff, Arizona, who brutally crucified a pastor.

Henry recounts the tragic events:

Henry Zebrowski [60:17]: "He broke into a pastor's home and crucified him to his wall."

They express horror at the premeditated violence, with Adam targeting 14 pastors nationwide:

Marcus Parks [61:14]: "14 pastors around the nation... Starting in Phoenix where he was born."

The hosts dissect Adam's twisted rationale, linking it to his personal vendetta against religious figures and his delusional quest for vengeance. They also touch on his tattoos and psychological state, portraying him as a deeply troubled individual driven by extremist beliefs.

Henry Zebrowski [63:16]: "He made his dream happen at 51."

Despite the severity of his actions, the conversation maintains a darkly humorous tone as the hosts navigate the macabre details, emphasizing the need for societal awareness of such violent ideologies.

6. The Outrageous Dart Competitions

[73:35 - 80:20]

Injecting humor into the episode, Henry and Marcus explore the peculiar world of professional darts infused with crude antics. They narrate tales of dart players who use farts as a competitive edge, mocking the lack of regulations in the sport.

Henry illustrates the absurdity:

Henry Zebrowski [66:11]: "How he won was controversial because he loaded up stinky farts on his opponent and then he won."

The hosts debate the legitimacy and sportsmanship of such tactics, ultimately embracing the ridiculousness of mixing bodily functions with professional competition. They highlight specific instances, like James Wade's controversial victories, blending descriptive humor with comedic critique.

Marcus Parks [68:19]: "The second time he did it was a little egregious."

The discussion culminates in satirical suggestions for enhancing the sport, emphasizing the hosts' ability to find humor in the most bizarre scenarios.

Conclusion and Upcoming Events

[80:16 - 80:56]

While adhering to the user's instruction to exclude advertisements, the hosts briefly touch upon their upcoming live shows and encourage listeners to join them at various venues. They conclude with playful banter, maintaining the show's characteristic mix of dark topics and humor.

Notable Quotes:

• Henry Zebrowski [03:33]: "If my semen were in there, they'd just be log jamming the other tracks."

• Marcus Parks [14:40]: "If you ever think about killing somebody, you know, do all your text messages months ahead of your Google searches."

• Henry Zebrowski [39:14]: "He's a pedophile with that X factor."

• Henry Zebrowski [46:37]: "The home was a maternity home for unwed mothers and their children run by a religious order of Catholic nuns."

Insights and Themes:

• Dark Humor: The hosts seamlessly blend macabre stories with irreverent humor, making heavy topics more approachable while maintaining respect for the gravity of certain subjects.

• Critique of Institutions: Whether it's corrupt police forces or abusive religious institutions, the episode underscores systemic failures and the challenges of seeking justice within flawed systems.

• Human Nature and Extremism: Through stories like Adam Christopher Sheaf's, the podcast explores the depths of human extremism and the factors that drive individuals to commit heinous acts.

• Absurdity in Modern Sports: The segment on dart competitions highlights society's embrace of the absurd, questioning the boundaries of sportsmanship and competition.

Conclusion:

"Side Stories: Darts & Farts" offers a compelling mix of dark narratives and humor, showcasing the hosts' ability to tackle serious topics with a unique blend of empathy and satire. From sperm racing to institutional abuses, the episode provides listeners with thought-provoking content wrapped in the show's signature blunt and irreverent style.