Side Stories: Devil at the Doorstep

Summary

Summary of "Last Podcast on the Left" Episode: "Side Stories: Devil at the Doorstep"

Release Date: January 29, 2025
Hosts: Marcus Parks and Henry Zebrowski
Description: The Last Podcast on the Left covers all the horrors our world has to offer, both imagined and real. From demons and slashers to cults and serial killers, The Last Podcast is guaranteed to satisfy your bloodlust.

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In the "Side Stories: Devil at the Doorstep" episode, hosts Marcus Parks and Henry Zebrowski delve into a variety of darkly comedic and macabre topics, blending humor with unsettling real-world events. The episode seamlessly transitions between personal anecdotes, tributes, and disturbing news stories, all while maintaining the show's signature engaging and irreverent tone.

1. Live Show Announcements and Promotions

The episode begins with Marcus and Henry enthusiastically promoting their upcoming live show:

• Marcus Parks (00:54) announces the live event scheduled for March 14th at the historic Ryman Auditorium in Nashville, Tennessee, emphasizing its significance as a former Confederate church and the original Grand Ole Opry venue.

  "It's gonna be huge. Huge. It's the former Grand Ole Opry. We're in it. We're doing our show." — Marcus Parks [00:54]

• Henry Zebrowski (02:02) encourages listeners to attend, highlighting the unique experience of live interactions and the hosts' dynamic performances.

  "Please, do come see us live. But before that, you're listening to Side Stories." — Henry Zebrowski [02:02]

2. Tribute to Norbert the Dog

A substantial portion of the episode is dedicated to mourning the death of a beloved dog, Norbert:

• Henry Zebrowski (05:14) expresses profound sadness over Norbert's passing, detailing the emotional impact of losing a pet and criticizing social media's portrayal of such losses.

  "Norbert the dog was one of the only things that held my precious psyche together... Twelve hours later, he's dead." — Henry Zebrowski [06:09]

• Marcus Parks (09:35) cynically remarks on the poor memorialization practices, suggesting that the lack of a proper tombstone indicates Norbert is metaphorically "in hell."

  "Norbert is dead." — Marcus Parks [09:35]

• The hosts debate the need for new social media regulations to protect pet owners from the trauma of overly sentimental online tributes.

  "I want rules in place, okay?... You either live forever in perpetuity, serving the ghost of that animal as if it is alive forever or you introduce a new pet to replace them." — Henry Zebrowski [07:37]

3. Canadian Domestic Terrorism Incident

Marcus and Henry recount a bizarre incident involving an individual posing as a domestic terrorist in Canada:

• Marcus Parks (24:55) narrates the story of Roy Winner, who blocked the William R. Bennett Bridge in Kelowna, British Columbia, with an ice cream truck claiming it contained explosives.

  "Choice A is that today a safe distance from my vehicle is approximately 50ft. Choice B is that I will introduce you to God at the same time I introduce myself." — Henry Zebrowski [25:19]

• Henry Zebrowski (27:26) critiques the Canadian authorities' overly cautious response, suggesting they downplayed the threat due to bureaucratic inefficiencies.

  "They are very Canadian. They are closed enough." — Henry Zebrowski [27:26]

• The discussion highlights the absurdity of the situation, blending satire with commentary on law enforcement's handling of potential threats.

4. Miscellaneous Dark Humor and News Stories

The episode features various other darkly humorous stories and observations:

• Roman Salute Misconceptions: The hosts debunk the myth of the Roman salute, attributing its association with Nazism to Hollywood and pop culture rather than historical accuracy.

  "It was first created in paintings, then reiterated by pop culture and things featuring Romans." — Henry Zebrowski [56:17]

• Buffet Violence: A Florida attorney violently confronts patrons who cut in line at a buffet, leading to a humorous yet unsettling discussion on appropriate responses to public scuffles.

  "A Florida attorney allegedly attacks father of girl who cut in front of him at a buffet at a meat station." — Marcus Parks [57:04]

5. UFOs and Whistleblower Claims

Diving into the realm of the unexplained, the hosts discuss claims from whistleblowers about UFO sightings and government cover-ups:

• Henry Zebrowski (50:03) shares Jacob Barber’s experiences of encountering mysterious objects and beings, emphasizing the emotional and psychological toll of such encounters.

  "I saw an egg. It was a white egg... I saw the alien himself. He said it's kind of crazy." — Henry Zebrowski [50:03]

• The conversation explores the credibility of these claims, the government's response, and the ongoing fascination with extraterrestrial phenomena.

6. Final Remarks and Conclusions

As the episode draws to a close, Marcus and Henry continue their characteristic banter:

• Marcus Parks (66:36) urges listeners to maintain order during buffets to prevent chaos and potential violence.

  "Love yourself and love the buffet environment by following the rules, but also move in a timely manner." — Henry Zebrowski [66:40]

• The hosts wrap up by promoting their other platforms and upcoming content, maintaining engagement with their audience.

  "We gotta wrap up today... Love you guys. Bye." — Henry Zebrowski [67:21]

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps:

• "It's going to be huge. Huge. It's the former Grand Ole Opry. We're in it. We're doing our show." — Marcus Parks [00:54]

• "Norbert the dog was one of the only things that held my precious psyche together... Twelve hours later, he's dead." — Henry Zebrowski [06:09]

• "Choice A is that today a safe distance from my vehicle is approximately 50ft. Choice B is that I will introduce you to God at the same time I introduce myself." — Henry Zebrowski [25:19]

• "I want rules in place, okay?... You either live forever in perpetuity, serving the ghost of that animal as if it is alive forever or you introduce a new pet to replace them." — Henry Zebrowski [07:37]

• "It was first created in paintings, then reiterated by pop culture and things featuring Romans." — Henry Zebrowski [56:17]

• "A Florida attorney allegedly attacks father of girl who cut in front of him at a buffet at a meat station." — Marcus Parks [57:04]

• "I saw an egg. It was a white egg... I saw the alien himself. He said it's kind of crazy." — Henry Zebrowski [50:03]

• "Love yourself and love the buffet environment by following the rules, but also move in a timely manner." — Henry Zebrowski [66:40]

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Conclusion:

"Side Stories: Devil at the Doorstep" showcases Marcus Parks and Henry Zebrowski's ability to intertwine personal grief, dark humor, and societal critiques into a cohesive narrative. Through tributes, bizarre news recounts, and speculative discussions, the episode encapsulates the essence of "The Last Podcast on the Left," offering listeners both chills and laughs while prompting reflection on human behavior and societal norms.

Transcript

[Marcus Parks]

There's no place to escape to. This is the last on the left. Side stories.

[Henry Zebrowski]

That's when the cannibalism started. Side stories. Yes.

[Marcus Parks]

We're rolling. Oh. Oh, What? Can I. Can I do something? This is something I've always wanted to do.

[Henry Zebrowski]

You want to start. You want to start like this?

[Marcus Parks]

I want to start like this. Something I always wanted to do. We have live shows to plug.

[Henry Zebrowski]

We do.

[Marcus Parks]

We do. We have live show. You always just move past and the audience appreciates it. But me, I want to plug the fucking shows.

[Henry Zebrowski]

You're allowed to, but I normally.

[Marcus Parks]

Dallas, December 22nd. Last podcast on the left. Bring your Catholics. We're going to spank them.

[Henry Zebrowski]

And then actually, before, if you left.

[Marcus Parks]

Them home March 14th.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Unless they're buying tickets.

[Marcus Parks]

Ryman Auditorium, Nashville, Tennessee.

[Henry Zebrowski]

It's going to be a big show coming in.

[Marcus Parks]

It's going to be huge. Huge. It's the former Grand Ole Opry. We're in it. We're doing our show. It was a Confederate church.

[Henry Zebrowski]

It was.

[Marcus Parks]

It was.

[Henry Zebrowski]

And we're turning it back. That's right.

[Marcus Parks]

We get to go into a Confederate church and yell Hail Satan back and forth. You, the people at home listening to this, Henry Marcus and I radio Hail Satan at each other in a former Confederate church. Please come join us there. And then, of course, side stories, Huntsville.

[Henry Zebrowski]

We're Ho. You know, my favorite city.

[Marcus Parks]

Oh, those NASA.

[Henry Zebrowski]

You can't keep me out of Huntsville.

[Marcus Parks]

Space nerd pieces of.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Hey, you know, I want to see.

[Marcus Parks]

Your goddamn UFOs, your UAPs, you and ape to me. What? Oh, NASA.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I will tell you the truth. Oh, Eddie. Due to some of their budget cuts, they already got.

[Marcus Parks]

No. Well, you again.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah, seriously.

[Marcus Parks]

But maybe we do like.

[Henry Zebrowski]

We do like you.

[Marcus Parks]

I'm just gonna be on the list. We'll put you on the list. We'll Area will hang out. Because we like NASA.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Gmail.com. well, yeah. Hey, perfect. Honestly, that was great, Eddie. We do need to plug more. Up top. Yes, we do.

[Marcus Parks]

No one. Once we hit the end of the show, people are like, oh, they're done. They turn it off. They never hear the plugs. And then they're like, when are you coming to Dallas? You're like, I was just there. Because they don't sit there and they don't listen.

[Henry Zebrowski]

But, Ed, guess what? They're gonna ask anyway.

[Marcus Parks]

Yes, I know. And that's okay.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah. I want them to. I want them to know and see us live.

[Marcus Parks]

It's a lot of fun. This show's better than ever.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Please, do come see us live. But before that, you're listening to side Stories. And I am Henry Zabrowski. I'm sitting here with Ed Larson. Hi. And thank you. Seriously, fervent enthusiasm is the style option of that sales pitch, and I'm proud of that. I'm proud of our energy.

[Marcus Parks]

I want take it down a notch now.

[Henry Zebrowski]

No, you did a good job. I also want you so sad. No, I can't have this. This is worse. I'd rather. I'd rather the rage.

[Marcus Parks]

My pillow is soaked with tears.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I'm gonna beat you till you're happy again.

[Marcus Parks]

Oh, please.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I'm gonna beat. I mean, I know now you're coming. Now you're just gonna start coming. But first of all, that's one rollback. Second rollback. We want to say thank you to the nice emails I received from Lindsay Shookus.

[Marcus Parks]

Hey. About old friend.

[Henry Zebrowski]

My. Our good buddy Center Rank live audition. Obviously, she said that it was edited around her, but she's a lovely lady. Some of you made your feelings known about her. Her. The impression she gave on the Saturday live documentary on her personal social media accounts. Yes, she says thank you, please.

[Marcus Parks]

The notes were received.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yes, she says thank you. Yes. And. But she is honestly. She sent a lovely email and she specifically said one of the nicest things I have heard, which she says, Lauren told this to everybody who drilled it into our heads all these years. Anybody that stepped foot on 8H for that audition is funny. And that. That's like. It doesn't really like nothing. That's. That is.

[Marcus Parks]

They never asked me.

[Henry Zebrowski]

No. And it shows and really, really shows. So I want to say thank you.

[Marcus Parks]

Live shows coming to Dallas.

[Henry Zebrowski]

And Eddie, you did a very good job. Thank you for supporting me last week. You're a good friend and I love you as well. Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

And. And I want to just say, for the record, if I ever go after anyone, I don't like going after people. But what if I ever do? He does let me do it. You know, like, you don't need you to do it too.

[Henry Zebrowski]

People are very nice.

[Marcus Parks]

Please do not on our behalfs. We're doing it ourselves on the show.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Unless, of course, they themselves are bad.

[Marcus Parks]

Yes.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Right. Because they feel like that's the thing. Engagement is good. Yeah, the engagement is good.

[Marcus Parks]

Well, on our Instagram. Not on her Instagram. It did nothing for us.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Hey, I got a compliment out of it.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, you did get a compliment.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I'll take it. So thank you, guys. Another update?

[Marcus Parks]

Oh, yeah, we got a big one. Can we play the funeral Dirge. Can we. Would you mind playing. Can we hold for a second while we get this clip coming?

[Henry Zebrowski]

Last week, I just got to stop. I just got to stop talking about these things.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

All right.

[Marcus Parks]

Because D the funeral.

[Henry Zebrowski]

D Because last week we brought up. Is this a funeral dirge? That's awesome.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

This is a requiem for Katrina. Is that the hurricane?

[Marcus Parks]

Well, yeah, I mean, it was very upsetting. They're all musicians down there. When they do what they're paying some way.

[Henry Zebrowski]

But starting with, like a march.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, well, they love to celebrate. You know, their funerals are great. Maybe your buddy could have a New Orleans funeral.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Norbert the tiny dog is dead.

[Marcus Parks]

Dead.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Now, I brought it up last week talking about my issues with social media dogs and their representation in the media. Norbert the little dog, as I said, was one of the only things that held my precious psyche together and some of the hardest moments of my life. So as of Monday of last week, they had post little thing, Norbert the dog. Little tiny dog. Little tongue sticking out of its mouth. Beady eyes.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Can't think. No brain. Right. My favorite kind of dog.

[Marcus Parks]

Oh, the best.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Petrified. Stupid Cute. How I hope to be when I'm old. Mm. And so Norbert the dog was listed as safe from coming out of the. He went to the hospital and they said his is. All of his signs are looking well. And maybe his kidney markers were slightly up, but they said he was doing really well. And they posted a bunch of videos of him eating in the hospital. And like, oh, look, Norbert's back to his old self. Twelve hours later, he's dead.

[Marcus Parks]

Yes.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Fucking dead. Dead, dead, dead, dead, dead, dead. And I don't.

[Marcus Parks]

Hospitals, they're not the best. Always.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Well, the thing about them, you would.

[Marcus Parks]

Like to think a star like Norbert would get proper care.

[Henry Zebrowski]

You would. But it seems that they get the same. Same health care as us. Whatever you could afford.

[Marcus Parks]

You got to see his last meal.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I am so angry.

[Marcus Parks]

As a fan, that's pretty cool.

[Henry Zebrowski]

But I now I need new rules.

[Marcus Parks]

See, Dom DeLuise's last meal.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Well, that would be incredible. I saw James Gandolfini's last meal, and that all will always inspire me. But beloved famous dog Norbert passes away. I do believe it was death by hanging.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Doing a autoerotic asphyxiation, which is super sad that Norbert couldn't find love that he couldn't buy.

[Marcus Parks]

You know what? I'm gonna like the post.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Ye. I. Yes, please do. But I now have rules. Okay. I have unfollowed the other dogs.

[Marcus Parks]

Whoa.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah. I'm out of the game.

[Marcus Parks]

Come on, dude.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I'm out of the game.

[Marcus Parks]

Dogs don't deserve love.

[Henry Zebrowski]

No.

[Marcus Parks]

Norbert's dead.

[Henry Zebrowski]

No, because they're temporary.

[Marcus Parks]

Norbert let you down.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yes.

[Marcus Parks]

Norbert was 15.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Norbert should have 100 years old in dog years. I want rules in place, okay? Us fucking stupid ass center left liberals, right, we love regulations. Except of course, when it comes down to air quality because we're all fucking experts out here. Yeah, but we so these guys. But I want some regulations on social media, pets. And this is it. All right? This is what I want. Number one, you either live forever in perpetuity, serving the ghost of that animal as if it is alive forever.

[Marcus Parks]

So that animal, you know, there's like 10 Benji's.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yes. You know, if Norbert the dog is there, I want you to pretend that Norbert the dog is fine.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. That's what they did with Flipper.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I don't want the reality.

[Marcus Parks]

That's not.

[Henry Zebrowski]

While I'm following Norbert, I'm following Norbert to have my soul uplifted. But okay, yes. In this cruel, very stark memorial post that they made, the 2009-2025 tombstone memorial that they put. No. What's beautiful about this, Eddie, there's. He's not amongst his friends. He's not on the other side of the rainbow bridge.

[Marcus Parks]

These two human hands holding him up.

[Henry Zebrowski]

But dude, that Norbert is in hell right now. Like that, that picture go to heaven. Not Norbert, nor.

[Marcus Parks]

What you think Norbert went to hell? He helped people when they needed the most.

[Henry Zebrowski]

He was failed. I look at Norbert, I see the, the, the eyes of a thing that has been compromised. And I look at him and I know. I see this memorial tombstone 2009-2025 underneath him. They didn't even try to jud. There's no harps, there's no clouds, there's no angels. There's nothing.

[Marcus Parks]

What they're going on in the story.

[Henry Zebrowski]

There's no Jimmy Carter happily opening his lap.

[Marcus Parks]

Well, there's a rainbow on that Nor bird story.

[Henry Zebrowski]

That's another fan post that's a not from the official Instagram. So that's my rule one.

[Marcus Parks]

My rule one is either where's your Norbert post? Mine would because I, Norbert, did so much for you.

[Henry Zebrowski]

The second Norbert is dead. The second I don't have to give the humans that are making money off of Norbert soul that money anymore. All right?

[Marcus Parks]

Unless you give them any money.

[Henry Zebrowski]

No I didn't but my time, which is worth money. And then I. If you look at this right. So. So rule one is either. And I. So it's one or the other. It is either. It lives in perpetuity. We do not address the mortality of the animal. We move forward.

[Marcus Parks]

Attracted to tiny shaking, dying dogs.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yes. And I wondered live lively dog.

[Marcus Parks]

No, no.

[Henry Zebrowski]

And then is. If not the day Norbert is dead. There needs and must be the next post. And here's Nippers Norbert. Yeah, but there needs to be brand new dog, new talent on the roster.

[Marcus Parks]

Just change the name of the account. Everything done.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Or Norbert the dog. Rip parentheses. Slowly but surely Nippers is filling a lot of the content out. Obviously Nippers is the new dog. You will slowly ingratiate Nippers to the audience. Hopefully. If you've done your research correctly, Nippers is pretty close to the OG one. And then Nippers can go and. And be that have a tongue sliding out. Just the fact that it's like. Because look at. Right. Well to his.

[Marcus Parks]

Obviously they don't talk about why his tongue's sliding out. It's because he's got no teeth. Rotten teeth. And get his teeth removed.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yes. That happens to a lot of small dogs. That happens to a lot of small dog.

[Marcus Parks]

Cute. It is adorable.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yes, it's extremely adorable. And technically you could get the same effect by your own teeth out expertly. If you're moving several.

[Marcus Parks]

Several flop it out of your mouth.

[Henry Zebrowski]

You just got to get rid of some of these side rail teeth.

[Marcus Parks]

That's going to be the new Zoomer trend.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah. That dumb. Yeah. He had kids doing toothless flaps. Nothing would make me that would be cuter. Certainly better than all the Nazism.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. But he passed away on January 26th on a Sunday.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Dogs don't pass away. Dogs die.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Dogs die.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Okay.

[Marcus Parks]

I missed.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I Love my dogs.

[Marcus Parks]

9Pm Died in. Died in the owner's arms. How sweet.

[Henry Zebrowski]

What's better than dying in? It was the honor zone being spiked after it made the quarter to touchdown or whatever. Unbelievable. I unfollowed all the other cute animals except for Chitterini.

[Marcus Parks]

Oh, who's Chedorini? I'm not even gonna bring super super close to death because you like them.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I'm not gonna bring up Chatterini. Chatterini. Good guy.

[Marcus Parks]

You know who you should look up is the alive Norbert. Norbert Barca on Insta Honest is still alive.

[Henry Zebrowski]

He's gonna be dead.

[Marcus Parks]

Still going to the park and having play dates with his Friends.

[Henry Zebrowski]

He's gonna be dead soon.

[Marcus Parks]

No, he's got at least 4 years.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Also my sweet, sweet friend.

[Marcus Parks]

Look at this boy.

[Henry Zebrowski]

And also my sweet, sweet friend that runs Puppy Songs. The both of those dogs died too.

[Marcus Parks]

The Puppy Songs people died?

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yes. Not the people. No. The people live on.

[Marcus Parks]

Should we play the funeral dirge for them?

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yes. Just skip ahead a little bit past the drums.

[Marcus Parks]

Let's get to the horns.

[Henry Zebrowski]

The Puppy Songs guys died too.

[Marcus Parks]

Yes.

[Henry Zebrowski]

And I want to say big ups to Mel. I want to say his name was Ding Dong.

[Marcus Parks]

Mel. Ding Dong.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah, I remember Mel. And Snit, snippet, snippet, Ding Dong. You really inspired many cute songs about the cheese tax and.

[Marcus Parks]

Oh, the cheese taxes them.

[Henry Zebrowski]

They're dead.

[Marcus Parks]

I love the cheese. Well, the cheese stack lives forever.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah. Yeah. You mean the intellectual property rights of the song. Yes.

[Marcus Parks]

I wonder if they. I mean, they need to really cut that now that they got time that they don't have to watch all these dogs. They can really hit the studio with that cheese tag.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I love you guys and I'm so sorry you lost your dogs. Lost it.

[Marcus Parks]

But I'm joke because mine are next. Mine have been next for years.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Well, that's why you're numbing.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, yeah, I am. Because I was just like Tootsie. She's got the night terrors.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Oh, yeah. Actively keeping you awake. And they're actively dying.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. She puked four times last night just walking around.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Oh, that's why she looks so good, so skinny.

[Marcus Parks]

She is thin.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah, but no, no, same. I have two elderly dogs. Is one I have one elderly dog in there, the other one waiting.

[Marcus Parks]

Jackie asked me on a double date earlier and then I said, can I bring my dogs because I know they're gonna die soon.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Nothing sets the tone of a double day better. Nothing. That's one better than bringing your, your mid death 17 year old dog. Tootsie's fine. Tootsie just is. Looks sort of like she's seeing all the people she's gonna see on the other side.

[Marcus Parks]

She done been seeing them people.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I feel the same with my, my father. Same way where I'm just kind of numb to the fact that we've been kind of saying he's gonna be dead for so long that even my father sitting around going like, wasn't I supposed to be dead? Yeah, like literally he said that. He's like, I thought I was supposed to be dead already. We're like, not A.D. no, it doesn't work like that.

[Marcus Parks]

He's like, yeah, well, Tootsie's walking around, she's like, kathy, Kathy. Where's Kathy?

[Henry Zebrowski]

No, no. And you're like, that's my mother. That's cute, though.

[Marcus Parks]

It is cute.

[Henry Zebrowski]

That's cute and sad.

[Marcus Parks]

Every time she starts barking at me, though, I'm like, am I dying? Because, you know, she sees it.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Well, yeah. You ever see those? You ever hear those stories about, like, there was one famous story about a cat that would choose people in a nursing home. Oh, yeah. It would go lay at the feet of the person, and then they'd be like, oh, the cat loves it. And then they die.

[Marcus Parks]

You know what they say about that is if you die in front of cat and people don't find you, your cat will eat you. But if you die in front of your dog, your dog will not eat you.

[Henry Zebrowski]

No. Well, I've heard, you know, that's one of those kind of ready. We don't know what's real or it's not real. They've. Sometimes they say, too, it's like a dog will keep them, the people, from getting to the body. Yes. The famous case of the cat named Oscar, who worked at a nursing home in Rhode island, seemed to have an uncanny ability to predict when residents were about to die.

[Marcus Parks]

To kill the cat.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I would.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Oh, no. That kind showed up my feet. I'd be like, get the hell out of here, you feline bastard. I'm not going to hell. I will die.

[Marcus Parks]

Oh, you're so cute, kitty.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I won't die. I need to have sex with another sex worker.

[Marcus Parks]

Yes.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I won't die. I will buy love.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. So. But here. Here's an update on Norbert's casket. No, no, not a casket.

[Henry Zebrowski]

They.

[Marcus Parks]

He doesn't have one. He says. They say in the post, in celebration of Norbert's life, we will share Norbert's photos and videos on his social media and websites. In some way, we hope to carry on with his good work. When you think of him, we would want you to just smile in the spirit of Norbert. High five to each of you. Love, Julie.

[Henry Zebrowski]

So we're gonna still.

[Marcus Parks]

They're gonna keep posting.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah, that's what they're saying.

[Marcus Parks]

I'm gonna follow you, you unfollowed. Yeah, I'm following, you know, because there's nothing better.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Norbert is dead.

[Marcus Parks]

I know, but if you wanted to pretend. More content coming.

[Henry Zebrowski]

They wanted to pretend.

[Marcus Parks]

They're not pretending he's dead.

[Henry Zebrowski]

It's one or the other.

[Marcus Parks]

You don't think they should post anymore?

[Henry Zebrowski]

No, this is on the cob.

[Marcus Parks]

Well, I mean, what, you think there should be no more photos of David Lynch? Should we just take all of his work and throw it in the trash because he's dead?

[Henry Zebrowski]

David lynch wasn't famous for being cute.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, I mean, he was pretty cute.

[Henry Zebrowski]

But David lynch was it. Look at this. No one did this for David Lynch. No one wrote, oh, here's the David lynch flower pen.

[Marcus Parks]

I think there is. I bet if.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I bet there is David lynch knee high socks. I don't see those.

[Marcus Parks]

I bet those exist as well. David lynch knee high socks. Of course they exist.

[Henry Zebrowski]

It's just different when. How you view it.

[Marcus Parks]

It's a 2025 calendar.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Sold, sold out. Really quick. Wow. You remember when August Ames, the porn star, committed suicide?

[Marcus Parks]

Yes.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I kind of feel the same way where I just still just like.

[Marcus Parks]

I don't commit suicide.

[Henry Zebrowski]

No, but it's like it in a way gave up. He gave up on us.

[Marcus Parks]

He didn't give up.

[Henry Zebrowski]

All he had to do is. All he had to do was not die. That's all he had to do. Jimmy Carter waited around for a long fucking time.

[Marcus Parks]

I think you have an unrealistic view on what. How long dogs will.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I'm grieving and my grief will appear as it will.

[Marcus Parks]

If you want to be a fan of dogs. No, they're gonna die.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I know. Oh, I know. All right. I just don't want to think about it. The last part.

[Marcus Parks]

Are you gonna be one of those people that when your dogs die, you're not gonna get any new dogs or you're opposite dogs.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Opposite.

[Marcus Parks]

You're gonna get bigger dogs.

[Henry Zebrowski]

New dog. That dates.

[Marcus Parks]

Oh, that day.

[Henry Zebrowski]

That day. One first. The first visit to the vet. To the Meet the Executioner. And the second visit. Yes. So it's one in and out. That's what I'm doing. No emotional. No emotion. I need the emotional snapback.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Okay. I will not grieve properly. I refuse to. And I don't want to.

[Marcus Parks]

I find it weird.

[Henry Zebrowski]

All right, so August aims when she committed suicide. Now when everyone's in a blue moon, my penis has a inkling to see her and remember her.

[Marcus Parks]

Do you still watch?

[Henry Zebrowski]

Of course. But then right afterwards, you were.

[Marcus Parks]

You start thinking about her family.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Well, it's just the saddest thing in the world. And then you are just. Just jerking off to a dead woman.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, I.

[Henry Zebrowski]

You know. And like. And you know, she. And then obviously in porn, most of the time. I consider. Most of these ladies are probably dead by the time I'm seeing It. You know, most of the time, they've got.

[Marcus Parks]

No, not the new ones.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Not the new ones. I'm saying all.

[Marcus Parks]

Once she was sad.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I've seen the ones for my generation. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what. Wrestlers. They're like professional wrestlers.

[Marcus Parks]

Yes.

[Henry Zebrowski]

It's hard.

[Marcus Parks]

And Nicole Smith, are you done with her?

[Henry Zebrowski]

Well, she just kind of makes me sad, but.

[Marcus Parks]

No, but she's a star.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I saw. Yeah, she's.

[Marcus Parks]

I mean, that's. You know, she.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I don't do it all the time, Eddie. I'm just. Every once in a blue moon, you'll just see a snippet. Once, you'll just see a thing that reminds you of that. Like two big melons.

[Marcus Parks]

Or you walk out, you get nostalgic. While you jerk off.

[Henry Zebrowski]

No, it's before, when I. While I'm jerking off. I am a fucking serial killer. No emotion is in there. In the 2 minutes, 40 seconds it takes me to come while I'm jerking off. I am incorruptible. I don't exist. There is no me. I am something else. I am a third thing. A devil and an angel cannot be reasoned with. Immediately afterwards, it's like, awesome.

[Marcus Parks]

Well, that's.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Oh, she died. The problem is that you just see her smiling. She's got. Maybe she has some particulate matter on her face. And then you think like, oh, now she's fucking dead.

[Marcus Parks]

Are we talking. Are we talking about Norbert or August right now? Because I was gonna say Norbert's probably a guy.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah. I don't ever jerk off to him.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. All right.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Take Dallas, take August. Names off the thing. Take it off. I can't look at her. I can't look at her. I'm getting sad. It's not just looking at her. I'm getting sad.

[Marcus Parks]

You shouldn't be learning their name.

[Henry Zebrowski]

You got to. Of course you do. I like their work. I like their art. I like their work.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, I do. Of course, how is, like, whatever the first video is usually.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Well, yeah, sometimes, but every once in a while, if I'm alone, you know, if I could be in a hotel room, there's, you know, whatever. We. You've all heard it. We've all heard this before from countless comedians. So let's talk about some news, some real news.

[Marcus Parks]

Shout out to the very alive Norbert Barka.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I know it's a larger dog, so we got less time with it. So get your time with it now.

[Marcus Parks]

He's very cute.

[Henry Zebrowski]

All right, so if you want to be with him now, do it now.

[Marcus Parks]

And he likes that old lady. And that old lady likes him.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yes. Good, good. But I'm a following. I'm done from your grave.

[Marcus Parks]

All right, so do we. Are we going to talk about any actual news today?

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yes, we have to.

[Marcus Parks]

Okay.

[Henry Zebrowski]

There's still plenty of show.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. And there's not much news.

[Henry Zebrowski]

No, no, no, no, no. We are still. We're going to be suffering a little bit from. In a political vacuum for a little bit.

[Marcus Parks]

Can you believe that Norbert's dead?

[Henry Zebrowski]

Unbelievable. I'll talk about it more. We were supposed to do. We did a guest spot on a big podcast yesterday. We had a bunch of content we were supposed to talk about. And all I wanted to talk about was Norberton. The guy wanted nothing.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

And nothing to do with him. We. All we really wanted to talk about was Paul Prudhomme.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. Ohber, I love Paul Prudho.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I mean, Paul Prudho.

[Marcus Parks]

I met him before he died.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

And I still jerk off to his image as much as possible.

[Henry Zebrowski]

As you should. He deserves it. I love combo. His K, his spice combinations cannot be beat.

[Marcus Parks]

We'll save it for our nutmeg based show later this week.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Thank you, Eddie. You're right. Because we do have a lot of nutmeg information to go through that we will be covering this week. Now first I want to cover, you know, United States. America ain't the only ones that are pretty far ahead along in the game of domestic terrorism.

[Marcus Parks]

Okay.

[Henry Zebrowski]

These Canadians, you're figuring it out. But just like they do, like, you know, I'm not one of these people. I. We don't want. I don't want you. Canada.

[Marcus Parks]

No.

[Henry Zebrowski]

You know what I mean? We want you to stay over there. I want you over there. Just because you deserve your own country, you don't need to be here. You should get rid of that queen. As far as I'm concerned.

[Marcus Parks]

They have a queen.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Well, they got. I mean, king. They have to go pay attention to King Charles. Oh, yeah, yeah. For the next 50 minutes that he's still alive, they have to pay attention to him. So. But guys, sticking out of his mouth.

[Marcus Parks]

Hold my head while I sign these papers.

[Henry Zebrowski]

They have now they're gonna do King Charles knee high socks. Oh, and King Charles doggy biscuits. But now Canada, they're catching up to us. But only in the most Canadian way, which is it's not quite violent enough to have to shape up or ship out. This was. So the police, They've cleared the W.R. bennett Bridge. They reopened it to traffic after The Royal Mounted Police news they saw a suspected vehicle, an ice cream truck, okay was parked blocking the entire bridge. Now they first they didn't know what happened. They didn't know what it was. It was blocking a bunch of traffic. But then a Facebook post came out with the. The Canadian Patriot Roy Winner. Okay. Who posted the explaining there were explosives inside that ice cream truck. And you're only safe if you say 50ft back because I control it from far away because now they are looking at it. This all came out over the weekend. So it was sitting there the. The first close the bridge at 3:45am because it happened in the middle of the night. So that's another one. He was really was trying to avoid. Avoid violence. Nothing happened yet. The guy that was. I do think it's funny, the head investigator for this by the name of his name is Gerbil, Inspector Chris Gerbil. Which is the first. I didn't know they allowed that the Germany Goebbels, I guess.

[Marcus Parks]

So he.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Well, he's the Canadian Goebbels.

[Marcus Parks]

No. Okay.

[Henry Zebrowski]

So they're like, oh well, you know, you better think about maybe the fact that fascism is going to save all of us. You know, that's Canadian Goebbels. And so they went. They figured out. But the. The message is really wanting to come into because they. So again it's Canada. So this is in the town of Colonna, Kelowna.

[Marcus Parks]

Okay.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Which I believe is in. I forget which one of these fucking places. Kelowna. It's in British Columbia. So he, this guy, Roy Winter, they have been trying to obviously hide his truths from us, okay. Because they. They're really afraid that his manifesto will radicalized people very similar to Luigi Mangiones.

[Marcus Parks]

Did you read his manifesto?

[Henry Zebrowski]

Of course I did. You.

[Marcus Parks]

Manifestos.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Manifestos are one of my favorite things.

[Marcus Parks]

You know, that's what you can replace Norbert with.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Oh my manifestos.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

And then I can write mine.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Finally. Finally. All right, so Roy Winner, I will be live streaming this action to bring public attention to unnecessary evil. Right. When you see this email, this action has commenced. If for some reason this doesn't make the nose, you might want to question why. And it's because the RCMP are going to try to bury everything and all the evidence to go along with it while protecting the Hell's Angels colon of cabs and willing participants from public attention. Whether you believe it or not, this story is 100% truthful. Just so everyone is fully aware of the fact that the Attorney General of Canada. Arif Ferrani's office has had complete copy of all the evidence delivered by Canada by Canada A post to 284 Wellington street on January 17, 2025 10:57am First, I want to apologize to everyone who suffers because of my actions here today. But you can ultimately thank the rcmp, the Hells Angels, Kelowna Cabs and willing Participants for putting me in this predicament. The William R. Bennett Bridge is closed in both directions until this matter is resolved and my life restored with restitution. I am accusing the rcmp, especially Sergeant Bryce Peterson, the Hills Angels, Kelowna Cabs and willing Participants, for conspiracy, collaboration, corruption, crookedness, while intentionally causing me irreversible financial harm.

[Marcus Parks]

Now, what the Hells Angels have been in the news lately? What's going on there? Are they back officially in.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Well, remember in Australia, they talked about the bikies.

[Marcus Parks]

The bikies, they definitely got a bikie problem.

[Henry Zebrowski]

They have a biker problem. And Canada does still have a Hell's Angels problem.

[Marcus Parks]

But this guy figured they'd be, you know, very inactive in the winter.

[Henry Zebrowski]

But he has now a bunch of rules of what people are allowed to do around him. He said the emergency vehicles are allowed to pass him as long as they got their sirens on. And he says, got choice A? All right, you got two choices. Right. Choice A. Right. You'll see that my vehicle is. It's got 60 pounds of highly volatile material that requires nothing more than a huge, stupid human to make a simple mistake and regret their decision. Choice A is that today a safe distance from my vehicle is approximately 50ft. Choice B is that I will introduce you to God at the same time I introduce myself.

[Marcus Parks]

So he's just sitting in an ice cream truck.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yep.

[Marcus Parks]

On a bridge, waiting, saying that he's.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Gonna blow it all up.

[Marcus Parks]

And then they are letting traffic resume.

[Henry Zebrowski]

It's very Canadian. They are closed enough.

[Marcus Parks]

Sitting there, like, waving at cars, holding a button. They won't even detonate himself.

[Henry Zebrowski]

They won't even dare to shoot me. They won't even try to arrest me. And so he's willing to drive past it? Yeah, sure. I'd give him a honk.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, Yeah. I mean, no. Boy, he could just let it off at any moment.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I want a chocolate. I want chocolate. Double scoop.

[Marcus Parks]

Why wouldn't that. Chocolate. And they won't kill him because they don't want the bridge to blow up.

[Henry Zebrowski]

That's Canada. And so they went. They're very, very cautious in Canada. Canada. And I think largely they didn't believe him. Because they didn't know what was going on. Because they found out that the. The matter of fact, they. They safely went through the. The entire truck. Basically. The manifesto, long and short. This is much longer than I even want it to be. That they gave him tickets he didn't like.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

And then he went to fight him.

[Marcus Parks]

With the Los Angeles.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yep. And one in court. And then. So he won. Very similar to our Killdozer IT Battle winners. He also was apparently involved in some kind of assault with a. What he said was a Hell's angel, and he was trying to save the town from this Hell's angel and that the police protected the Hell's Angel.

[Marcus Parks]

Oh, so he just attacked some guy because he was wearing a biker's.

[Henry Zebrowski]

He doesn't like motorcycles. Yeah, he's. I think they scare him. I think it's because ice cream trucks are really slow.

[Marcus Parks]

The ice cream trucks and motorcycles are enemies.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I would say that they are definitely enemies. So they went. They got him. The. The explosive unit, they arrived. They're stationed on the bridge. This was back in the day. And the acting commissioner, they said they went through the. Yes. The risk assessment of the vehicle's contents was finally found, coupled with the man's comments over both the phone and online resulted in both the Southeast District's emerg response team and the RCMP explosive disposal being deployed. And they said they did not elaborate on the contents of the van, but said they pose a significant risk to public safety. So what that means is that there were no. There was nothing in there.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. There was nothing in that van.

[Henry Zebrowski]

And he lied.

[Marcus Parks]

And they didn't want to admit that.

[Henry Zebrowski]

No, yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

That they.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Because they definitely would have said if it was a bomb. Yeah, they absolutely would have said it was a volunteer. Yeah, yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

No, for sure.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah. And then he started a fire in the van he was parking across the bridge.

[Marcus Parks]

It's got to be hard.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Oh, yeah, yeah. That's what nobody tells you. He said all the ice cream melts. And milk. You know, it melts in ice cream. It's like. No one says it's like water. It's like. It's not like diesel fuel, which can put out flames. That's the thing.

[Marcus Parks]

They're all. They're unhinged, man. Remember the Mr. Softy guys in New York?

[Henry Zebrowski]

Oh, yeah, dude.

[Marcus Parks]

They were nuts. Dude, I remember they used to. They love the cheese steaks. When I worked at 99 miles to Philly, the cheese Cheesesteak restaurant. They would always call, and then they put in an Order for a cheesesteak. And they'd be like, delivery. And I'm like, all right, where are you at? Who? You know, what's your address? You're like, Ms. Softy. I was like, okay. He said, I'm in Ms. Softy truck. All right, where is it? I'm a softy. It's like, you're not Mr. Soft.

[Henry Zebrowski]

You're not. If you think you're the ice cream man, then this conversation has to end.

[Marcus Parks]

Mr. Soft. He's a brand. And you work for.

[Henry Zebrowski]

You're not. He has ice cream for a head. It's not you.

[Marcus Parks]

But, yeah, these. I mean, when you live on an ice cream truck, I mean, life is crazy.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I. I know. I do.

[Marcus Parks]

It's also. I mean, an ice cream truck in Canada in the middle of winter. I mean, this guy's got problems.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Useless. Yeah, exactly.

[Marcus Parks]

He just needs something to do.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Strike. Trying to sell ketchup to a lady with white gloves.

[Marcus Parks]

That's right, man.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah. Why are you doing that? I don't know. I don't know why they even say that.

[Marcus Parks]

Because you're Brian Dennehy.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yep, that's right. Oh, yeah. Tommy boy. So that's that story. That's really all we got. Canada is not releasing a heck of a lot about this because of the fact there was no. Probably no bomb in there. He caused a public nuisance and was then arrested. And the perfect Canadian domestic terrorist vent. Because nothing happened. Yeah, because that's what they're really good at. Canada has a thing that I find interesting.

[Marcus Parks]

There were no animals involved, which is UN Canadian.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Be very UN Canadian. I have found that Canada has distinctly very intense laws about planning crimes versus doing them. Like there is a big story that they. I forget the hell her name is. There was a shooter that they got them. They gave them a life sentences on just planning the shooting.

[Marcus Parks]

Oh, really?

[Henry Zebrowski]

Without doing the shooting. Which is fascinating in and of itself because technically it's hard because it's what if plans. The Valentine's Day shooting planning. Lindsay. Savannah, right? 10th. This lady was. Was US women sentenced to life for this. But it was just to plot the shooting. And what they say is that if you put up a bunch of. Like she tried. She came into Canada from America. He said that once she crossed the border, then it shows the intent. And then they went. And I believe that they had a gun. But the thing is, then when you listen to which is the last podcast and the left thing, though, which a lot of people don't say, that's what it says. Here the Rosinski. According to police Justice Peter Rosinski, they said if the plan kill unsuspecting shoppers and up and interrupted by an anonymous tip and the quick actions of local police, it would have been carried out. But it was still. I'm going to say that was still pretty far from when it was carried out. And if you were to kind of see their correspondence now, like, yes, obviously they take these mass shootings extremely seriously, as we all do, but there's a little bit of. This could just be two morons talking.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, I was thinking about that and.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I don't because they are obvious.

[Marcus Parks]

Please stop anyone who's planning a mass shooting. Thank you for your work. Of course. But at what point does it go from a possible creative exercise to crime?

[Henry Zebrowski]

Well, it's also in Canada, they say that idea of the threatening. Yeah. The sentence was partly shaped, according to Rudzinski, again by the principles that apply to terrorism. While he told the court the motivations and intentions in the case are not precisely the same as those related to terrorism activities, he said the crime requires the court to send a clear message to those conspiring to kill multiple people that they will pay a heavy price. Now that it. That's interesting because they do the exact opposite of what we do in our country. We don't like labeling things as terrorism. Unless, of course, they're Luigi Manzioni and they actually inspire a bunch of people. Then that's very quickly terrorism.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

So that they can. Even though they don't understand the quickly terrorism. It was like a week or two.

[Marcus Parks]

They debated whether it was terrorism or not.

[Henry Zebrowski]

No, I didn't. Was a. But it was a real quick debate. Yeah, it was a real quick debate.

[Marcus Parks]

Now it's. You know, I want to go. I want to circle back to this because, you know, thinking about it, it's just like planning like that what if. What if that's just like a creative thing that you want to do.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Dude.

[Marcus Parks]

Put it in the screenplay and then it's legal.

[Henry Zebrowski]

There's literally no. I feel like it's just one of those. There's. There is no right and wrong.

[Marcus Parks]

I guess the moment you buy a.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Gun, that's what they're saying.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. The moment you buy a gun, it changes.

[Henry Zebrowski]

But still in an American justice and for. I would consider if we. If. When we have those things, it does make sense to me that you can still make the decision to not pull that trigger up until the moment you pull that trigger. Like, to me, it comes into what you went to Attempted.

[Marcus Parks]

Then you have a disaster on your hands.

[Henry Zebrowski]

But you'd be surprised. I actually just watched another. It was an interrogation series of these two teenagers, mass shooters. That one of them, obviously, the one said they were the aggressor. Right? One said that they were aggressor and the other said that they were not the aggressor. But when they. When they went deeper into it, they could see that it was a. Was a kind of the opposite. And it was like. That one was like. The kids, though, were really hesitant into the very, very, very last minute.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

And then the first killing happened. They pulled out a. A gun. The other kids immediately wrestled the gun away, tried to wrestle the gun away from him, and he shot the first person, but he didn't shoot anybody else. Okay, but there's something. And then to me, that's where the line is.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

They brought to school. They pull up. But it's. It's hard because.

[Marcus Parks]

But then also too far, of course.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Well, then I think about. Well, you know, we suffered a die. I've suffered, unfortunately, two very dangerous stalkers. And part of that issue with stalkers is the same things that you really can't do anything about it until they fucking kill you and your family. Because they're just saying, like, it's a free world and they can. They can technically harass you as much as they want, especially if you're a public figure in that way. So it's one of those where it's kind of all over the place. I have no fucking idea. I don't know. I feel that this is because in America, we also. A lot of times we do the. The. Not entrapment, but we help radicalized people. Yes, we do that.

[Marcus Parks]

In order to stop them.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yes, to stop them. We show up and give them all the gear and say, hey, meet us here. And then we arrest them.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

So I don't know. I have no idea what they're.

[Marcus Parks]

That's working for us. Because nothing bad happens.

[Henry Zebrowski]

That's the thing, Eddie. Because the best part about it. And then what they do is it's like they set up a terrorist event that they then stop and then they go see.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

See what we did.

[Marcus Parks]

They do catch some people.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Of course they do. New York, the NYPD talks about. I remember I was talking to somebody that. The idea that if you knew, like, how much floats, like through the NYPD, like, halls. Well, I work in terms of information and what that happens there. They're like, you'd never sleep a freaking.

[Marcus Parks]

I worked with the NYPD for a little bit, kind of, because I wanted. We wanted to work on a roast with them. And, you know, so I took a couple meetings with them, and I got, like, involved with the first Precinct. And I remember they. They had the. They showed us the room where they have, like, you know, the morning meeting. Like, go find this guy. Go find that guy. Yeah, these are the corners that are trouble. And then I looked on the side because they have the mug shots. They have, like a thing of mug shots that you can flip through. And then I saw another pad that just had photos of suspicious packages that they found on the subway. And one of them was just like, dynamite and a clock found in a Macy's bag.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah, we just needed that.

[Marcus Parks]

And I was just like. I was just like, whoa, what's that? This? I'm like, they're like, yeah, you know, we found that on the subway. And I was like, how often does this happen? They're like, more than you'd like, you.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Know, like, yeah, thank you. And then think about how many times we carried props on the subway that look just like that.

[Marcus Parks]

Taped up fake guns and constantly just.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Like, how much pro. How many problems we cause just being artists from your grave.

[Marcus Parks]

Well, this. This next story that I want to talk about is actually related to the subject we're talking about, about which this happened in Texas. A north Texas resident is an on edge after their ring doorbell captures a devil at the door.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Oh, this guy.

[Marcus Parks]

Yes. So apparently a guy in a hoodie and a red goat mask showed up to someone's front door with a sign that just says Revelation 20, colon one through 15.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah, I want to look at.

[Marcus Parks]

Obviously. It's obviously the Bible verse revel and.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Oh, yeah, I got it. Yeah, it's awesome.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I mean, it's fucking metal.

[Marcus Parks]

It is metal. I will say that.

[Henry Zebrowski]

And I saw the angel coming down out of heaven, having the keys to the abyss and holding in his hand a great chain. He sees the dragon, that ancient serpent who is the devil or Satan. And bound him for a thousand years. He threw him into the abyss and locked and sealed it over him to keep him from deceiving the nations anymore. Until the thousand years got ended. Ended. After that, he must be set free for a short time.

[Marcus Parks]

Yes. Well, the homeowner said my husband and I had gone out to dinner and we'd stopped off at the store to pick up a Powerball ticket, and I was waiting in the car.

[Henry Zebrowski]

The devil and got a devil lies in its gambling heart.

[Marcus Parks]

I mean, honestly, I agree in that way. But they got their. They got a ring notification. And she looked at her phone and there was a dude in a hoodie with this goat devil mask holding the revelations.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Never let them forget friend. Always scare them, sir. Yes, they. All right, the devil is coming and he is your neighbor. And he is going to tell the HOA that your lawn is too big. Yeah, he's coming for you.

[Marcus Parks]

And so she called the cops, filled out a police report, but no crime was actually committed.

[Henry Zebrowski]

There is no crime crime.

[Marcus Parks]

It's not even really a threat. It's art in a weird way.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Technically, that's what everybody likes in this country. That's evangelicalism. That's literally spreading the word of Christ.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. So the cops are like, we wrote it down, but there nothing we can do. And she's like, I hope that they catch the guy. But there's nothing to catch.

[Henry Zebrowski]

What if there's just nothing to catch? Yeah, it's a fun guy having a fun time. I bet you that guy's not even Christian. And she said, I bet you that guy's just high as balls, having a great night. And guess what? This guy just fucking gave me Henry Zabrowski an idea. Yeah. Of what to do on the weekend.

[Marcus Parks]

Oh, yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

This is exactly what I want to do. You know, side stories. LPOTL gmail.com. am I bothering you? Am I scaring you? Side [e-mail]. please email in.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, well, she posted about it on social media and it got a lot of traction.

[Henry Zebrowski]

It's awesome.

[Marcus Parks]

But a lot of people said that they would shoot the person. What? That they would just kill them. Which, if you do this, you'll spend the rest of your life in prison.

[Henry Zebrowski]

If you shoot somebody over something fake like this, you're very fucking stupid.

[Marcus Parks]

Do you look.

[Henry Zebrowski]

And you deserve whatever happens to you.

[Marcus Parks]

Do you look at this as a threat? I mean, in a way it's a threat, but not really.

[Henry Zebrowski]

You want to know my actual. My actual theory?

[Marcus Parks]

If this happened to you, what would you do?

[Henry Zebrowski]

That'd be awesome. Let's just talk about it.

[Marcus Parks]

Just like. Do you want to come in and have tea?

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah. But. Hey, how you doing, buddy? You know. You know what my actual theory is? What? She did this.

[Marcus Parks]

Whoa.

[Henry Zebrowski]

She made this all up. And all these entire things is obviously.

[Marcus Parks]

A man in the. In the hoodie.

[Henry Zebrowski]

She. So she's not. She can't possibly have ever met a man that would do this.

[Marcus Parks]

Well, she was with her husband at the. You know, the man.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Her wife have never met another man to share Their wife with. Well, well, they've never once had a big old, big old guy come over and rail the living F out of your wife while you're sitting there going, next time, fucking Greg, go respect me next time. When he sees how big a dick my wife can take. Yeah, take it all, Cindy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And once she comes, they're like, you want to do something fun? Let's get some cardboard.

[Marcus Parks]

You know, it'd be interesting. Look at the time of the ring video and the time of the purchase of the Powerball ticket. See if they line up.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Well, you see, this is what I'm saying. This is what the cops would need to do.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. I think the cops also don't care because there's no crime.

[Henry Zebrowski]

They couldn't possibly give a fucking shit.

[Marcus Parks]

Right.

[Henry Zebrowski]

They don't care about this at all. Because I can guarantee they looked at this and also said probably you did this.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

That you did this to have this go viral so that everyone can think that you're being persecuted for your. Whatever your Christian beliefs or whatever is happening when it's actually not.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. I think the goat mask is.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Is stupid.

[Marcus Parks]

It's not good one.

[Henry Zebrowski]

No.

[Marcus Parks]

It could be a little dumber.

[Henry Zebrowski]

No, it's a stupid good mask.

[Marcus Parks]

It's not even that evil looking. It's just red.

[Henry Zebrowski]

It's just a. It's sort of like a devil mask. I'm saying that this is a homebrewed, okay. Issue and this woman is doing this to us. Oh, and that, that guy's fake.

[Marcus Parks]

Okay.

[Henry Zebrowski]

That's my call. But it's in Dallas so we can go check it out when we're in town.

[Marcus Parks]

Oh, yeah. On February 22nd.

[Henry Zebrowski]

We got to get this guy to come to the show.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, yeah. Reveal yourself in our show, please.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I would love to have the. Honestly, the real hero here is the goat faced man, the mask maker. If the mask maker could reach out to side stories lpotlmail.com we would love to talk about the end times.

[Marcus Parks]

I mean, the mask maker is from China.

[Henry Zebrowski]

China. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's different. Yeah, we'll meet the nine year old that made that plastic mask. There's nothing. I would like to hear is about the crimes that that 9 year old has seen working inside of the Halloween mask factories of China.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. There is a fun story from my hometown.

[Henry Zebrowski]

First, I want to talk about the fact that this egg has arrived again.

[Marcus Parks]

Oh, more eggs.

[Henry Zebrowski]

There's another egg.

[Marcus Parks]

Well, you know the eggs. The price still hasn't gone down.

[Henry Zebrowski]

No. Oh, it's almost Like Eddie. I don't know if he even had a plan to bring the prices up. Groceries town. Yeah, I don't even think that. That there might even. Not even been a plan, Eddie.

[Marcus Parks]

Really?

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

The concepts of a plan.

[Henry Zebrowski]

No, Eddie. That's funny. That's funny, Eddie. What a funny joke.

[Marcus Parks]

4Chan leak. Antarctica egg. Oh, it's Antarctica. I don't know why I thought it was in Alaska.

[Henry Zebrowski]

So show this video now. This comes from our favorite reputable news source for Chan. There has been another. The other main post from Reddit was removed. Wow. This one is not so as you can see. You remember last week I showed you a video of what looked like an egg on a stick? Yes. This is the same, but it looks far more elaborate. This one is a new one, same thing. They believe that this was recovered outside of Antarctica and it was an ancient object. This is a part of this. Whatever this leak series is where you see what is supposed to be some. Either I don't know what they call the dick of a helicopter. What do they call it that pops out of the bottom? What's the red rocket of a helicopter?

[Marcus Parks]

The copter, Something like that?

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah. They got a thing hanging from that. And you got the egg hanging from that. It looks better than the other one.

[Marcus Parks]

So because it's in nightmare. Am I looking at two things or one thing?

[Henry Zebrowski]

You're looking at two things. You see that thing dangling and swinging?

[Marcus Parks]

Yes. That's the egg.

[Henry Zebrowski]

That is the egg. Like ufo.

[Marcus Parks]

But what is below it?

[Henry Zebrowski]

The red rocket of the helicopter. It is never the hanging penis. Out of the bottom of a helicopter, that hangs a piece of rope that is holding whatever that egg is.

[Marcus Parks]

Hold on. Am I looking at this from the ground perspective?

[Henry Zebrowski]

From the. From the sky perspective, imagine a helicopter is. Okay, this is a helicopter on the floor. You're doing it this way. All right, I'm a helicopter.

[Marcus Parks]

You see me pretty.

[Henry Zebrowski]

You see how my arms are going? Like the rotors of a helicopter?

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. Well, they're just going back.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Well, this is as far as they could go. See how they're like a helicopter?

[Marcus Parks]

Sure.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Right?

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

My penis is hanging down. Right in this position. My penis is hanging down.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

That's what we're looking from. Imagine that. Like, imagine I'm a helicopter and you're a little man hanging out of my belly button looking over my dick and balls to the floor. Like pov. Yes.

[Marcus Parks]

But it does look like the sky is behind the egg.

[Henry Zebrowski]

That's a mountain range.

[Marcus Parks]

That's a mountain range.

[Henry Zebrowski]

If that is real but these are trees here. Well, that's a mountain range with trees on it. Eddie.

[Marcus Parks]

This video is garbage.

[Henry Zebrowski]

That's what I'm saying.

[Marcus Parks]

Worse.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Worse than the other. I actually think. I do think that this one is better than the other one. But this is the drones. We all do.

[Marcus Parks]

I like the drones more than the eggs.

[Henry Zebrowski]

This egg stuff, I don't really even understand. It's just all over my UFO stuff. Yeah, this egg stuff is new. Ross Coleheart's got another guy. So this is also interesting. A guy that he was talking to again, is he full of shit? I have no fucking clue. So this big issue, right, with whistleblowers that Ross Colhart was talking to David Grush, and David Grush kept saying that he was just talking about things other guys told him they saw.

[Marcus Parks]

But I thought Grush was reliable.

[Henry Zebrowski]

No, well, his position was reliable. But he said. But he said in his quote, unquote honesty, I am describing things other people said they saw. Okay, But Ross Colhart's got a new guy, Jacob Barber, who has said he has seen these things himself.

[Marcus Parks]

Okay.

[Henry Zebrowski]

He's a new guy. He says he's worked for the past 30 years, he's worked in both official and unofficial capacities for the US Government. Government. He says he wants to tell people going on what he's seen. According to Russ Kohlhart, this come. This is brand new. As an unknown man, he delivered. This is. This is brand new. And he says we're in this rare opportunity in human history where it's very clear that we know that there are things flying in the sky that are unexplained and un understood and that there's another one of the things that I'm uniquely providing information on. And he says that he saw the alien himself. He said it's kind of crazy. This is. Yeah, this guy was named John Blitch. He said everything changed on September 11th.

[Marcus Parks]

I left the Air Force.

[Henry Zebrowski]

A lot of shit changed.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, everything. Thanks for the update.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah, buddy. No way. I left the Air Force and was set out to California at that time to begin establishing my cover bases as an independent contractor so that I could serve what was coming down the line. Next for me was the path which led to the UAP subject. A lot of the work we did was one I call the range, where the US government and its private partners used to test all kinds of things, weapon systems and resilience to weapon systems of certain craft. And so you see a lot of exciting things, said Barber. But then you sort of see strange things. It's always interesting out there. He said, things come in and out of sight. Things disappear for a moment and reappear. Things seem to move very quickly. Things change color, they change shape and they're not even talking about Oprah Winfrey.

[Marcus Parks]

Whoa.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Got her fucking ass.

[Marcus Parks]

About time.

[Henry Zebrowski]

And so John Barber, he also said, Jacob Barber also said, he's like, we know that they classified craft and we recovered them and we took them back where they go. They went to a place, he said, we picked them up. So they recovered things, quote unquote exotic in nature. And said he's got his first glimpse of non human pretty quickly. He said, I saw an egg. It was a white egg. There was no engine, there was no thermal signature. I was operating at night when I finally came in to pick it up. So I'm working under night vision goggles at the time. And it was quite clear. I flipped them up, flip them down and looked at it a couple of different ways. And it was an egg metallicy pearly white. He said, I can tell you that the reaction by my team, we all knew we were dealing something strange. Strange. See, they said it was weird. They didn't know what it was and they had had hieroglyphics on its side. Okay, he said, and then he went. He went to go drop off the egg, he said. But there was another object when he dropped off the first egg, a basket. It was a giant bunny. One was the egg. The other was why called an eight gun. The eight gun was essentially a flying disc with what looked like eight delineated sections when looking down. And I can tell you what it looked like from looking down because that's primarily how I saw it. Because I'm a hel pilot, we did recoveries with the eight guns. There was more than one that made its way to the ground on this particular operation. And as I get started getting closer to the site, he's had one of the most profound experiences of his life. Last time he picked up an 8 gone. He said, I started feeling odd. I started feeling extremely emotional. And the closer I got, the more the emotions started to overwhelm me. I felt this intense hybrid of sadness and happiness and beauty and song. And it was very disruptive to me because I had a very practical responsibility at the time to operate a helicopter in the mountains at and I began wondering what the hell is wrong with me. I felt something had connected with me. I felt like something entombed into me and my soul and was providing me some sense of guidance on what to do and how profound What I was doing was. It was so overwhelming that I began to cry. It was very feminine energy. She said the UFOs were talking to him. This guy.

[Marcus Parks]

But what's wrong?

[Henry Zebrowski]

This fucking guy who looks like.

[Marcus Parks]

He looks like crying.

[Henry Zebrowski]

That guy is. You're. You remember they said about sheer sign of a size sociopath is if you see the entire whites above the pupils. Yes. He's one of those guys.

[Marcus Parks]

No, for sure.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Oh yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

He definitely looks like an egg. The. I don't know, it just seems like why. Why can't helicopter pilots be emotional?

[Henry Zebrowski]

No, it's that.

[Marcus Parks]

I mean, why is that bad?

[Henry Zebrowski]

It's actually. They say this to the.

[Marcus Parks]

Truly it is leave it at home.

[Henry Zebrowski]

They shouldn't be emotional. Emotional. They should not be emotional. They should be. You know that the one of the. You know, the old like. And we're cruising at 10, 000ft. Like that voice. Yeah, like that voice was a constant. What was apparently was a impression. It was an impression of Chuck Yeager. So Chuck Yeager was what considered to be like one of the biggest icons of all pilots. Right. He broke the sound barrier. He did all this. But the thing was unflappable.

[Marcus Parks]

No emotion, no personality.

[Henry Zebrowski]

You know, like. And that's what they look for in astronauts. That's why a lot of astronauts are test pilots.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. Never interview an astronaut.

[Henry Zebrowski]

They are boring. Yeah, they don't really got a lot to say. Except the one guy with the mustache. But even he just opens different things in space and goes, look how that floats. Yeah. Like, we all love that guy. We all love that guy. But I'm saying that's what spaces. Yeah. Like, it's scary. The first I mentioned it sounds like what's scary. It's like what they talked about with space apparently is just terror mixed with unbearable boredom.

[Marcus Parks]

Have you thought about going?

[Henry Zebrowski]

I would never go to space.

[Marcus Parks]

You're obsessed with space.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I will go to space when there is a proper private way to go to space.

[Marcus Parks]

Really?

[Henry Zebrowski]

Oh, they don't want me.

[Marcus Parks]

Lance Bass goes all the time.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah, it's because he's one light a ball. So he's fine up there. He doesn't need. I got two. I get two big. I got two big ones.

[Marcus Parks]

Right?

[Henry Zebrowski]

Let's pass him in his balls, right?

[Marcus Parks]

I have no idea.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Didn't he have testiscular cancer?

[Marcus Parks]

I know.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I don't know cancer. Tell me that's my vocal warm up. Last Fast had testicular cancer last. That's. Oh, he doesn't have cancer. No, no, he's okay. Whatever. Dude, what a. He's got diabetes.

[Marcus Parks]

He's got type 2 1.5 diabetes. I haven't even heard of that.

[Henry Zebrowski]

It's called the remake and arthritis. Yeah, dude. All right, so he's cool. All right. As long as he's got that be. I like him. I only like him sick.

[Marcus Parks]

Well, do I have time for my fat man from home?

[Henry Zebrowski]

Oh, you got to. You got to. Because the listener letters were not that very good this week. No offense. Not. No, in. On. In terms of like, what we want to talk about. The ones I got are I'm going to use for other purposes. Yeah, yeah. They're.

[Marcus Parks]

They're there for. They. They go another direction, so.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Oh, except the big one that I will say, which is. I'll just throw it out there. There was no such thing as a Roman salute.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, we know that.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah. But we did not. But the idea that even the concept of the Roman salute. There was no such thing.

[Marcus Parks]

No, it was created in movies, but.

[Henry Zebrowski]

It was first created in paintings, then reiterated by pop culture and things featuring Romans.

[Marcus Parks]

But there are no statues with Roman salutes. Nothing like that.

[Henry Zebrowski]

No.

[Marcus Parks]

The artists from back in the day.

[Henry Zebrowski]

It is a holy Nazi invention.

[Marcus Parks]

Yes.

[Henry Zebrowski]

And they really like it.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. And all the Nazis are very happy about the South Africans Nazi salute.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Oh, they love. That Is a Nazi.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, they really.

[Henry Zebrowski]

They really like that.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

It's good for them. It's good for. It's good for his. His constituency. His demo.

[Marcus Parks]

Well, speaking of chaos, a large bald man struck a slimmer man on the head with a dinner plate. That's. That's right. The big news. Broken records. A Florida attorney allegedly attacks father of girl who cut in front of him at a buffet at a meat station.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Okay, so let's first break this down. Number one, seems he does. It was an irate move. You know a man's fat when his face hides his ears.

[Marcus Parks]

Yes.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I have never seen a face.

[Marcus Parks]

Top of his ears are the only thing.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I have never seen someone. Someone's face fat cover that much of their ears.

[Marcus Parks]

It is weird.

[Henry Zebrowski]

That is a wild face.

[Marcus Parks]

His cheeks are thicker than his neck and the top of his head.

[Henry Zebrowski]

His goatee is a lawyer. His whole goatee area could fit inside of a large woman's pussy. Yes, that's how small it is.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. No, there is. He is. He's very. He's very large. And you can also. Another way to tell that a man is fat in a news article is when the other man is constantly called.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Slim when they say that the other Sliver man. Like the constantly talk about this being like, we could just like, also you could just say two guys. But it's like they obviously wanted to point out how fat the first man was, so they had to, they had to just say large man and slimmer man.

[Marcus Parks]

Yes. I like this story a lot because it happened less than a mile from my high school.

[Henry Zebrowski]

And it concerns a thing to us.

[Marcus Parks]

Which is meat lines at buffets.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Buffet crimes.

[Marcus Parks]

Yes.

[Henry Zebrowski]

So, okay, I. I'm of two minds here, Eddie.

[Marcus Parks]

I, I agree with the man, but I feel like he took it too far.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I'm in two of them. Let me. Okay, let me ask. All right, Eddie, Rob, you're. You're a former real fat boy. And you're. You were a fat boy, Eddie. And I, and I, you know, I feel like we can commiserate on this.

[Marcus Parks]

Oh, so big.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Oh, so big. I'll bring me my chicken. Sorry, I'm doing my whale before. Where's my Oscar? Where's my chicken? Yeah, I love that.

[Marcus Parks]

Are you talking? Yeah, the thing, you know, my problem with the whale is not one fart and the whole movie. You tell me last week, he's not.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Going to fart a lot.

[Marcus Parks]

There's not going to be one fart.

[Henry Zebrowski]

It sounded like my lover's farts. I missed. I missed that guy. God. What happened to Bren Fraser? So are there lines and. Okay, let me just put this this way. Are there actual literal lines to follow in a buffet when a buffet is two sided? Okay, if a buffet is two sided.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

And you can have equal access. Is there such a thing? And a need for a linear line to approach the buffet? And does anyone say it's two sided?

[Marcus Parks]

Is it two lines lead to a middle? Oh, it's an island. So you can get on e side of it.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yes.

[Marcus Parks]

Or sometimes it's the same stuff in two lines that meet in the middle and go out.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Or another caveat to this. Yes. Is there a. No. Aren't lines even necessary? Or two. Right. You've already been one round. You've already done the entire thing. Must you wait online to get to the specific food that you want for doubles?

[Marcus Parks]

I think if you've already been there, you definitely have to wait in line.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yes. Why, though? You're just getting one specific, specific food.

[Marcus Parks]

But not everyone has gotten their one specific food so far. So you have to wait till they all get their food and then you.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Can get more food in outside of the buffet world. And outside of the buffet world. You're right.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Inside the Buffet World. This is an equal opportunity zone. You know, like, this is a buffet. There's going to be enough for all of us. Unless they specifically say that there's going to be a limited amount that I can understand they're being aligned for. But they're going to be Hush Puppies.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

They're going to come back with more Hush Puppies. They're going to come back with more Mac and ch. There must be order or it will just be chaos. There must be order.

[Marcus Parks]

I'm not saying you have to wait for everyone to finish, but you need to get back in line.

[Henry Zebrowski]

See, this is the heart of this story because it comes down to, is there a bigger crime?

[Marcus Parks]

We don't know. Cutting seconds, though.

[Henry Zebrowski]

We don't know.

[Marcus Parks]

But I imagine because of his voice. Violence. It was first.

[Henry Zebrowski]

The. You're talking about. Fat man was on his first.

[Marcus Parks]

Yes.

[Henry Zebrowski]

So you're saying when the father broke into the line. Cut in line in front of him with the daughter.

[Marcus Parks]

The daughters cut in front and he yelled at the daughters. And then he pointed his violence to their father. Cuz he knew he. He was aware enough that he could not beat the daughters. You know, so he.

[Henry Zebrowski]

In a way, in a way that makes him. Him kind of classy.

[Marcus Parks]

Well, because you're going to be in.

[Henry Zebrowski]

A bo Boke of buffet and you're going to. At least he could have hit the girls. Well, he could have hit the girls. I'm not saying. Yeah. I'm not saying he should have. I'm saying he. He could have.

[Marcus Parks]

Yes. No, if he felt the need, he physically could have made that bad choice and hit them. Yes.

[Henry Zebrowski]

And if I was manager of the buffet, I'd have to actually sit and listen to the man and say, well, they did cut.

[Marcus Parks]

Now I have to say, this isn't a Sizzler. This isn't a Golden Corral. This is a wedding. So it kind of changes everything. You're acting like a lunatic at a wedding. Well, and then. And then, like people are having fun, so they're more jokey. They might cut. More likely to cut. Have some fun. Especially young ladies having a good time. Who knows, one of them might have caught the bouquet. They're feeling lucky. You know, this. You see this man, you want to get it between him and Prime Rip.

[Henry Zebrowski]

You're, you're. I mean, first of all, that is. You're just saying.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, he is Prime Rip.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yes. Because I know the laws of the jungle. Yeah, Right. Yeah. He eats first.

[Marcus Parks]

Absolutely.

[Henry Zebrowski]

He's got to eat. Yeah. The little girls don't know.

[Marcus Parks]

No, no, they don't know. They're just having a good time.

[Henry Zebrowski]

But can I say that this may be a good opportunity for them to learn?

[Marcus Parks]

I mean, they did.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I. This is a really good learning opportunity for them in this high stakes buffet scenario. Because this guy took it to the proper level. Like, obviously you might say, yes, he didn't need to physically beat the man, right? No, you didn't have to break.

[Marcus Parks]

Well, he was just like.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Like he was Bluto from Popeye.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, but he was like. He was like, I'm not gonna hit these girls. Girls, where is their father?

[Henry Zebrowski]

See, I feel like there was sense here, maybe. You know what I think is that we don't know that there's old beef. I mean, besides that. At the buffet.

[Marcus Parks]

Shots fired. Boca Lago Country Club off of Boca Rio Road.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah. Lake Mouth Prime Rib Buffet.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, well, you know, it's a golf course, you know, and there's a golf course across the street. Street that we used to always break into and throw parties at. But yeah, during the reception, the defendant was allegedly in line the prom rib carving station when two young girls cut in front of him. The Palm Beach Sheriff county's and the rower got angry about being cut in front of the buffet and confronted the father and one of the girls.

[Henry Zebrowski]

And then the father, to be honest, needs to best the other man in hand to hand combat for respect of his daughters. So in a way, I feel, I guess even at a wedding, wedding, that even makes us even more an essential human fight.

[Marcus Parks]

He was cut there. That is. No one is saying this man was not cut.

[Henry Zebrowski]

He's a victim here.

[Marcus Parks]

He a type of victim.

[Henry Zebrowski]

A type, Hey, I think that all the stories, like if he hit the daughters, I'd be saying much different stuff.

[Marcus Parks]

A worker said in a sworn statement that they saw the whole interaction from the story start and corroborate the victim's account about why Mark became upset at being cut in line.

[Henry Zebrowski]

He was cut in line.

[Marcus Parks]

The witness then stated that the victim had turned away from Mark in an attempt to ignore him. And this is when Mark walked up to him with a plate and hit the victim in the head with the plate.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Never turn your back on a giant hungry bastard.

[Marcus Parks]

Yes. The witness confirmed that the plate shattered and Mark pushed the victim and was holding him by the collar. The witness then stated that the surrounding people separated the two individuals. But then Mark attempted to walk back over to the victim. Yeah, the witness said, we ain't done here yet.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I still see you got my fucking short Rap.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. They heard multiple plates shatter, but only one was used to hit the victim in the head. And I want to say, as a Florida man, this man, this is a wedding. He could have been in from out of town. This might not be a Floridian. It could just happened in Florida.

[Henry Zebrowski]

You actually. You might be right.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

And that's why I think it's important before your wedding. Weddings to solve a lot of yours. Try to squash your stuff.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Right. Before you get in there and let it play out.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. Also Bocario Road, you're gonna love this. When I was a kid, they found a van full of teenagers in the canal of Boca Rio Road. Why this is interesting is because they found the van, but apparently it was a bunch of kids that went missing in the 60s. And then a fisherman found the van and.

[Henry Zebrowski]

And so they were dead in there.

[Marcus Parks]

They were dead in there for like 40 years.

[Henry Zebrowski]

That's awesome.

[Marcus Parks]

See, there you go. They all thought that they ran away and joined a cult, but they were just. They didn't get far from home and just like, drove into the. Into the canal. So that is.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah, that's like. Oh, that's like Mike Myers was the one where. It's like the. The. All the maniacs on the bus.

[Marcus Parks]

Oh, yeah, 10,000 maniacs.

[Henry Zebrowski]

No, it was another movie. It was another movie. Had a bunch of guys, crazy guys on a bus.

[Marcus Parks]

Oh, I love a bus.

[Henry Zebrowski]

They died. Anyway, well, we gotta. We gotta wrap this.

[Marcus Parks]

We do have to get out of here.

[Henry Zebrowski]

We gotta wrap up today. I, you know, live every day knowing that you keep your head in the swivel at a buffet. Move it along, people.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, move it along.

[Henry Zebrowski]

All right.

[Marcus Parks]

Love cut huge men at buffets.

[Henry Zebrowski]

We all love.

[Marcus Parks]

The buffet was violent. And he is obviously the problem here, but if you. I'm not blaming the victims, but don't cut.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Love yourself and love the buffet environment by following the rules, but also move in a timely manner, because then you can laugh your way back to your seat with your hush puppies, with your finely sliced roast beef, with your Mac, with your Mac and cheese. Because what you've done here is followed the rules and created a society, but you also chose your food in a timely manner that moved us all along. This isn't fucking a three star mission restaurant, okay? We don't need to peruse all of the stations. You can come back to it. It's a buffet. You're gonna want to do this in multiples.

[Marcus Parks]

Yes. We have to.

[Henry Zebrowski]

We have to go.

[Marcus Parks]

We have to go. We're interviewing doing Kane Pixels for our Patreon. So go subscribe and listen to that.

[Henry Zebrowski]

There Twitch TV, LPL TV. And go to last podcast.com.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, we're gonna talk about the back room, so you can check it out there. Love you guys. Bye.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Hell, Satan.