Side Stories: Disclosure Daze w/ Alaska Thunderfuck 5000

Summary

Last Podcast On The Left – Side Stories: Disclosure Daze w/ Alaska Thunderfuck 5000 (June 17, 2026)

Episode Overview

This energetic, irreverent episode of Side Stories is part cosmic horror, part contemporary weirdness, and definitely heavy on the laughs. Hosts Henry Zebrowski and Eddie Pepitone, with the regular crew (including Marcus Parks and Rob), dissect a week of the world's oddest stories—from UFO disclosure fatigue and swamp gator justice to deep-dive musings on drag, presidents, viral memes, and the ever-elusive true purpose of daredevils. Special guest and iconic drag queen Alaska Thunderfuck 5000 joins for a hilarious, deeply queer spin on the topics, along with sharp takes on gender, pop culture, and wonderfully weird life.

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Personal Hygiene & Mustaches: Male Grooming Meta-Analysis

• Timestamps: 01:00–05:30
• The hosts open with a tangent about deodorant woes, the scarcity of Mitchum, and “red clay” armpit remedies. It morphs into a celebration of handlebar mustaches, debating whether they make men "look safe" or like "cartoon villains."
• Notable Quote:
  • Henry: "You straight men with handlebar mustaches are brave...you take that fight onto yourself. And I appreciate that." (04:05)
  • Eddie: "It's literally a cartoon image of a man tying a woman to a train track." (04:32)

2. Return of the 'Smart Schoolboy 9' Creeper

• Timestamps: 05:39–11:05
• The old internet boogeyman “Smart Schoolboy 9” resurfaces with new videos. The crew dissects his bizarre schtick—pretending to be a British schoolboy while creeping out the internet—and speculate on his motivations and escalating behavior.
• Notable Quote:
  • Henry: "I think I am his Batman...These villains want to come back." (08:33)

3. Gator Justice: Louisiana DWI Gone Wild

• Timestamps: 15:00–17:38
• A standout segment: a real-life police chase ends with a suspect jumping into a Louisiana swamp, only to be attacked by an alligator—caught on body cam. The hosts riff on letting the gator be a cop and the existential burdens alligator officers would face.
• Notable Quotes:
  • Henry: "If he's been bit by an alligator...just go home." (16:08)
  • Eddie: "I'm a lizard that has a job for the US Government." (16:57)

4. Daredevil Deaths, BASE Jumping, and the Gemini Moon

• Timestamps: 17:50–23:54
• The panel discusses the recent spate of daredevil deaths, including "Sketchy Andy Lewis," and whether the genre’s true point is the mortal risk. They reflect on how stunts have shifted from TV spectacle (Evel Knievel) to niche social media events, prompting a nostalgic and morbidly funny critique of the culture.
• Notable Quotes:
  • Eddie: "If a daredevil never dies, then what's the point...they have to die occasionally." (19:17)
  • Henry: "If you call yourself 'Sketchy' and you walk between skyrises on a string, you're gonna die." (20:51)

5. Spielberg's 'Disclosure Day' and the State of UFO Narratives

• Timestamps: 25:17–34:32
• Henry vents about Spielberg’s recent “Disclosure Day” film, calling it anachronistic and tone-deaf given real-life government UFO releases. The crew agrees the U.S. government’s actual “disclosures” lack both mystery and substance (mostly "dots and orbs").
• Notable Quotes:
  • Henry: "He's writing a movie for a world that doesn't exist...We're literally in disclosure right now." (27:24)
  • Eddie: "If you want to see the incident...Close Encounters of the Third Kind is the same movie but better." (28:31)
  • Henry: "Even if the aliens are real, they're lying...We have nothing to do with their agenda." (33:43)

6. UFO Disclosure and Existential Cynicism

• Timestamps: 34:33–36:22
• Henry grows increasingly cynical about UFO “disclosure”—arguing that even incontrovertible evidence wouldn’t sway public apathy, and that aliens (if real) are either uninterested in us or have inscrutable agendas.
• Notable Quotes:
  • Henry: "...Even if you show somebody an alien, they will not believe it...aliens are lying to us. If they're real, they tell everybody something different." (33:35–34:12)

7. Special Guest Segment: Alaska Thunderfuck 5000

• Timestamps: 42:12–80:44 (Guest segment interspersed with news/commentary)
• The guest joins, getting swiftly into:
  • Supplements & Drag Realness: Alaska’s workout/supplement routine ("I work out reluctantly" 44:13).
  • Trump, Drag, & Queer Politics: Comparing Trump’s merch game (“actions like a drag queen”) to drag marketing, and riffing on his Orange coiffure makeup (“It looks shoddily applied. Not good.” 50:22).
  • The Value of Nice Men: Discussing loud, toxic men vs. “nice, quiet” men and the fantasy of a virus that selectively removes “the wrong ones” (49:36).
  • UFOs and the State of Disclosure: Alaska’s skepticism—"That’s a party balloon. Next."—and general weariness with underwhelming UFO ‘evidence’ (55:09).
  • Drag, Image, & Pop Culture: Guy Fieri as drag ("Guy Fieri...drag." 61:58), the importance of a strong silhouette, and the hidden artifice of reality TV/food shows.
  • Guy Fieri 'Not Eating' Theory: Hilarious dissection of the viral idea that Fieri fakes eating on camera, with Alaska comparing it to “lip sync eating” from Drag Race/Golden Girls (66:14).
  • Gay Sexual Dynamics & 'Top Shortage': Alaska humorously explains the perennial "top shortage" in the gay community and the folkways of gay sexual roles (69:24).
  • Penis Oddities: The story of a British man found to have three penises after death, sparking a parade of irreverent size jokes and weirdest-penis memories (70:30).
  • Handlebar Mustaches in Queer & Straight Culture: Alaska endorses the handlebar for its “pride 70s” vibe and notes the vastly different meanings across communities (75:29).

---

Notable Quotes & Moments

• Henry on Spielberg’s ‘Disclosure Day’:
  “He’s just in his own crystal castle....He has access to people. He could talk to anybody. And I feel like he still served an extremely lukewarm cope fest.” (29:10)
• Alaska on UFOs:
  “In the toilet. That’s a party balloon. Next.” (55:09)
• Alaska on Drag and Image:
  “It has to come about naturally and organically, but then once it does...this is what I look like.” (63:10)
• Henry on Nice Men:
  “How do you make nice, quiet men into big, loud men? But for good reasons.” (49:25)
• Drag Queen Wisdom on Fieri:
  Eddie: “He puts the sunglasses on the back of his head so people get confused when they try to punch him in the face.” (62:01)

---

Major Timestamps & Segments

• 01:00–05:30: Male grooming/bodily discomfort intros
• 05:39–11:05: Smart Schoolboy 9 discussion
• 15:00–17:38: Alligator justice, DWI fugitive
• 17:50–23:54: Daredevil fatalities & spectacle
• 25:17–34:32: Spielberg/UFO disclosure movie rant
• 42:12–80:44: Alaska Thunderfuck joins—supplements, drag, Trump, Guy Fieri, UFOs, queer theory, and more
• 55:09: Peak UFO disclosure fatigue (“That’s a party balloon. Next.”)
• 66:14: Guy Fieri “lip sync eating” segment
• 69:24–70:02: 'Top shortage' in gay sex
• 70:30: The tale of the triple-penised dead Brit
• 75:28: Handlebar mustache opinions and differences between gay/straight cultural readings

---

The Tone & Energy

As always, Side Stories powers through with vulgarity, irreverence, and surreal humor. The interplay with Alaska Thunderfuck injects camp, drag wisdom, and queer wit. The episode pivots gleefully between scathing media critique, social commentary, and gonzo sexual silliness, with a healthy sprinkle of skepticism over the current “disclosure” culture.

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For New Listeners

You’ll come for the UFO and bizarre news updates, but you’ll stay for the quick-fire, subversive banter and the unique, joyful chemistry between the hosts and their drag queen guest. Even if you’ve never seen the “Disclosure Day” movie, or know nothing about Guy Fieri conspiracy theories, this episode will have you cackling and just maybe rethinking how culture, media, and drag all reflect the weirdness of reality itself.

---

Further Information & Where to Find More

• Alaska Thunderfuck 5000
  • New single “Revolution” out now (44:04)
  • Tour dates and merch: alaskathunderfuck.com
• Hosts’ Upcoming Shows
  • Tour dates, records, and new YouTube channels promoted in closing minutes (82:27–84:30)
• Patreon & HQ Streams
  • Video podcast footage and extras available via Patreon

---

Standout Segment to Listen For

Guy Fieri’s Phantom Eating + Lip Sync Eating Analysis
(65:09-67:06)
A uniquely hilarious breakdown of how food television relies as much on the performative artifice as drag does, featuring Alaska's take:

“I do know about this because that's like lip syncing. But it's lip sync eating...That's what she's doing. But, you know, she never swallows.” — Alaska Thunderfuck 5000 (66:14)

---

Closing Thoughts

This is Side Stories at its best: skeptical but not cynical, filthy but somehow endearing, and constantly aware that the world’s real horror—and hope—is that everyone is just as weird as you’ve always suspected.

Transcript

[Henry Zebrowski]

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[Eddie Pepitone]

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[Henry Zebrowski]

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[Eddie Pepitone]

This is the last podcast on the left side stories.

[Henry Zebrowski]

That's when the cannibalism started. Side stories, yes.

[Eddie Pepitone]

How you doing, buddy? We have a very special guest in the studio in a little bit.

[Henry Zebrowski]

It was really fun to have, like, some nice feminine energy in this place.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Yeah, it smelled better for a second.

[Henry Zebrowski]

It did. Because, like, I tried to. I put cologne on.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Did you?

[Henry Zebrowski]

I wash. Really?

[Eddie Pepitone]

Yeah, I got my.

[Marcus Parks]

I got.

[Eddie Pepitone]

I got this new Squatch deodorant. I hate it, but I'm wearing it, and I did it.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I love that. Yeah, I love that. You just don't care. You don't care.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Well, there are. No one sells Mitchum anymore. I tried to switch them to Mitchum, and no one's got Mitchum.

[Henry Zebrowski]

It's because they put tobacco in it.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Yeah, but that's. But now my armpits are red again because I'm squatching.

[Henry Zebrowski]

You know, I find it because you. Yeah, you got irritated.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Used to do Old Spice me.

[Henry Zebrowski]

All right, this is a bad way to start.

[Eddie Pepitone]

What are you talking about?

[Henry Zebrowski]

We can't just talk about your underarm irritation?

[Eddie Pepitone]

I feel like it was great.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I mean, it's too late. The show already began.

[Rob]

Oh, good.

[Eddie Pepitone]

I thought you were trying to restart.

[Henry Zebrowski]

No, we're locked into this.

[Eddie Pepitone]

My shit's all fucked up. I'm looking for help. You're fucking telling me to start over.

[Henry Zebrowski]

You know What? Side stories, lp, gmail.com. this is a real problem that Ed has had forever. His armpits get irritated.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Yeah. And only Mitchum helps me. But I can't find it anywhere, like Mitch. And I don't use Amazon, so I don't know what to do.

[Henry Zebrowski]

He doesn't use. I honestly, I told him to put red clay. That's what I was saying. That's what he needs, red clay.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Maybe that's my issue.

[Henry Zebrowski]

What?

[Eddie Pepitone]

That's why it's all red.

[Marcus Parks]

All the clay.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah, that might be the problem. Welcome to side Stories. My name is Henry Zabrowski. I'm sitting here with the irritated Ed Larson. And that's, you know, Eddie, you're allowed to be irritated. I just feel like, you know what I switch to straight up. I just, you know, if we're staying in this boring lane, I'll be right here. I switched up to fancier deodorant and it's better for me.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Really.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I use this, like, balm.

[Eddie Pepitone]

I'm willing to up my game.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I'll send you what I use.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Really? We have similar bodies.

[Henry Zebrowski]

We do.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Back in college, Henry was like, there's like this red spot above my penis. And then I literally was like, you mean like this one? And I shut. Yeah, it's like it goes away. Don't worry about it.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah, yeah. It's called.

[Alaska Thunderfuck 5000]

Yeah, yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Rob likes the Native. I like the Native too. I use the Native, but I also use kind of like fancier stuff. Oh, yeah, we'll get you in there.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Thank you. I appreciate you.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Speaking of this, there's an update.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Update.

[Henry Zebrowski]

You know, I just wanted to get into this. The very, very top. First of all, to all, the people who wrote in about their handlebar mustache, the people that have people with handlebar mustaches, the people who defended your handlebar mustache, I just want to say I'm proud of you. I'm proud that you stood up to me.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Yeah, right.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I'm proud that you did that. I'm proud that you stand in it. And I, And I will reiterate what I said, which is it wasn't a full on criticism of the handlebar mustache, but you men, you straight men, as you'll see where guests we talked about today, you straight men with handlebar mustaches are brave in the fact that you're. You take that onto yourself and that fight onto yourself. And I appreciate that.

[Eddie Pepitone]

I mean, it's better than just dress it in clothes from Walmart and smelling like shit.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Completely agree, Eddie. And I want to say there's a lot of people that say the handlebar mustache makes a man look safe. I say opposite, but some. But that's what a woman says.

[Eddie Pepitone]

It's literally a cartoon image. Of a man tying a woman to a train track.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Women like that, though. I got several messages from women who said they specifically fucked men because they look like that. Women we forget are broken, Eddie.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Yes.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Like, that's the thing, is that we forget a woman chose us.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

So if a woman.

[Eddie Pepitone]

And we fixed them.

[Henry Zebrowski]

We did. Oh, we got right in there. We got right in there. Okay. And we fix that up so I know that those generous, forward thinking women exist.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

And that's who's attracted to real men like us. Forward thinking women.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Like inventors.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Women who've already been with lots of bad men. And like, you know what? Attractions for the birds.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah. Who cares? I can learn to be attracted to it. I can grow to be attracted to it. And you know what, ladies? You should try that. Try to be attracted to somebody you're not. That isn't. That isn't a toxic person just because they're nice.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Yeah. Ugly people are fine.

[Henry Zebrowski]

They can be.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Some of them are awful.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Honestly, a lot of ugly people are also bad too.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Yeah, you're right. You know what? Celibacy.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Speaking of, become a lesbian. Smart Schoolboy night is back.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Oh, definitely become a lesbian.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Now this guy, to remind all of you, around the end of 2024, this man who's an Instagram user, went another name. Smart Schoolboy 9. And a bunch of other things. We went in a deep dive ye. This guy where he pretended to be a little British boy, where he covered himself in makeup.

[Eddie Pepitone]

He does a high pitched voice.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah. He does a high press British voice. He dresses like a weird little old boy. He first started with him making fake Instagram accounts where he was pretending to be a little boy and then pretending to be all the other little kids talking back to him. He's a nightmare to behold. He's got a big thick tongue that he sticks out. He's got these little. He's painted his face white and he dresses like Angus Young from AC dc. And then what he does is that he chases little boys. Yeah. He follows people. There's been recently that. That's where it was escalating too, because he also did truth sticks too. There was other. Stephanie Schooley was another account that he used. And if you look weird on.

[Eddie Pepitone]

On socials, that's one thing. That's. It's, you know, what are you going to do? Yes.

[Henry Zebrowski]

But he began to approach people in real life, which is what he then said. He never did. He then he denied all this. But we know Smart Schoolboy 9 is out there and we know he Stopped for a while due to all this attention. But it seems the Smart School Boy 9 is no longer patient enough to stay home. Because Rob's good. Because as Rob's gonna play right Now, Smart School Boy 9 has sent another missive to all of us who dare comment upon his life.

[Rob]

Hi there. I'm the real original smart schoolboy 9. A proper child, just to be clear. Okay, now you've probably heard about the unscrupulous scammers that had lied about.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Sounds like you got two videos.

[Henry Zebrowski]

No, it's just bad editing.

[Rob]

2024. Recently, some have decided to admit that they were us.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I was never asked why by Spark Schoolboy Night. He did this to himself.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Yeah, we didn't know who they were.

[Rob]

Admitting that they were, in some cases, begged to lie about me.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Everybody told me to not talk about him specifically.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Yeah, even me, I believe. Yes.

[Rob]

Look at those comments I'm told about them. Plenty of those comments are, of course, from real bad people. Some have been caught already. Some have been found out and caught. Others were just scammers. But they got in so deep, some of them, because they couldn't stop. They couldn't stop themselves.

[Henry Zebrowski]

See, Scar? Schoolboy 9 thinks that coming at me is a good thing for him to do.

[Eddie Pepitone]

So you think this is directed at you?

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Now who's full of themselves? Smart School Boy 9 or you?

[Henry Zebrowski]

I think that I am his Batman. I have arrived here with him. No, I think that it's his. Nick Crowley. He was the guy that went and got. Went deep in on Smart Schoolboy 9. He's got 13 million views on his YouTube, which is. I think. Yeah, we've talked about this. We sent people to him and I. I just think it's interesting that these villains want to come back and we'll see what he's gonna do, because he's saying that all of the scammers and the people that said lies about him, they're all being punished and arrested. But here I am, Smart Schoolboy 9.

[Eddie Pepitone]

I don't think he's talking about us.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I think that he should be, because we were probably the biggest show that actually covered him.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Well, he's got 13 million YouTube views.

[Henry Zebrowski]

The Internet liked him. But now we're back covering him. Now we're here. So I just want to say, Smart Schoolboy 9, good luck.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Yeah, we're watching you.

[Henry Zebrowski]

You're coming at him. You're challenging him.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Yeah, why not? Well, he's. Come on the show. Coming on the show.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah, come on. You don't have the balls to come on the show.

[Eddie Pepitone]

They're not invited.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Probably don't even know where we live. I'll tell you exactly where we live.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Where's that?

[Henry Zebrowski]

656 Metropolitan Avenue.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Oh, there is a picture without makeup.

[Henry Zebrowski]

No, that is so. I think someone else made that.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Oh, someone see what they really look like.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Someone else made it.

[Eddie Pepitone]

So have there been any other reports, like, around?

[Henry Zebrowski]

Well, they're saying that the. It went into hiding. I'm calling it it. It went into hiding at some point because of all the attention it was receiving. And then I think it just took off its fucking costume and its makeup. And now that it's getting, it's ready to kind of find its way back because it needs attention.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Misses the attention. Yeah, yeah. It's got nothing else going on.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah. So what'll probably happen is, like, this is maybe the time when they will do something bad.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Seems like they'd be a great villain in a pointless film.

[Henry Zebrowski]

That's what I love.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

It seems like they never really disappeared. They just kind of went underground. Went underground a little bit. They were still being creepy and messaging kids. Oh, yeah.

[Eddie Pepitone]

They didn't go through a manhole.

[Henry Zebrowski]

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[Eddie Pepitone]

Rise from your grave.

[Henry Zebrowski]

All right, here we go. What else we got here?

[Eddie Pepitone]

We got it's kind of a fun story that I. I liked. Just real quick. I mean, I feel like I'd be disrespecting my alligator people not to bring it up, please. In Louisiana, there was a guy who got a dwi. And when the cops pulled him over, he ran from them and he jumped into a swamp. And then. And they were like, hey, get out of that swamp. He's like, you cops. And then. And then a gator saw him in the swamp and swam at rapid speed towards him and started attacking him. And it's all on the web on the. On the cops cam. It's pretty cool.

[Alaska Thunderfuck 5000]

Whoa.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Leave alligator. The alligator kill him.

[Eddie Pepitone]

The alligator bit his arms up pretty bad, but he. He lived. And he's in. He's in a hospital right now, and he's gonna end up. No, it's a dwi.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Oh, that's. Look.

[Eddie Pepitone]

All right, check this out. Check this out. You see him there?

[Henry Zebrowski]

You see?

[Alaska Thunderfuck 5000]

Hold on.

[Eddie Pepitone]

But he's not gonna attack. That's him swimming. And then you see it. Look at beelining right for him. Oh, it's just be lining a cop, dude.

[Henry Zebrowski]

That's sober you up real fast. That's the thing, man. It's like, I don't even know if you can give him a breathalyzer after that. I just feel like, all right, buddy. I think we can call even. Call it even. If he's been bit by an alligator. Like, you could just go and like. All right, you just.

[Eddie Pepitone]

I think if you all get it took his arms, you could call it even.

[Henry Zebrowski]

You know, just go home. Go home. Yeah.

[Eddie Pepitone]

I don't think he can go home. He's. Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Oh, yeah. This is the thing, is that now the entire. They're making memes about making the alligator a police officer. Don't do this to the alligator.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Yeah. It's not a hard enough life.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Don't give it a job. They try to eat. They barely even have a pension plan anymore. What's going to happen when that alligator lives to 175 years old?

[Eddie Pepitone]

Especially in Louisiana.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Oh, my God.

[Eddie Pepitone]

They treat their cops like down there. Absolutely.

[Henry Zebrowski]

He's gonna die. Honestly. I bet you alligator as a cop dies faster than alligator in nature because of the stress.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Oh, yeah, the food.

[Henry Zebrowski]

All the bad fast food and stuff like that.

[Eddie Pepitone]

The hours, family.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Oh, my God. Your wife going, why aren't you here to watch the eggs anymore?

[Eddie Pepitone]

He's a. God damn it. I'm not as territorial as you.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I'm just a. I'm a lizard that has a job for the US Government.

[Eddie Pepitone]

I love. They gave him five fingers.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah. That to me, is unsafe.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Of course it's.

[Rob]

Of course it's.

[Henry Zebrowski]

AI Rob. You think it's a real alligator in a cop costume? This one seems a little fish. Something about this picture doesn't make any sense. I think it's the fact that he's wearing a bulletproof vest. And why would an alligator need one? He's got scales.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Yeah. You know, a little classy.

[Alaska Thunderfuck 5000]

Yeah.

[Eddie Pepitone]

You know, for the people.

[Alaska Thunderfuck 5000]

Yeah.

[Rob]

Honestly.

[Henry Zebrowski]

But they just, you know, a dwi just stop and take it. Just roll over and take it.

[Guest or Additional Speaker]

Guess what?

[Henry Zebrowski]

Because a lot of times. Yeah, right now it's bad. But it won't even ruin your life anymore like it used to.

[Eddie Pepitone]

No, no, you'll be fine. Especially in Louisiana. They don't even have Louisiana. Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

You want to talk about the daredevil who died? Yeah.

[Eddie Pepitone]

That shit's crazy.

[Henry Zebrowski]

This is one of those where I know that they ask for pure death. I know that's the idea. I mean, as a part of the, like, I guess, like side stories. LPOTL gmail.com I haven't seen a giant like stunt in a long time. Do we want to see him succeed or are we happier when they die?

[Eddie Pepitone]

No one watches this to watch them succeed. Everyone's watching to see him fall.

[Henry Zebrowski]

But I do think that people are then upset when they do see him fall.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Yes. Because it's upsetting to watch someone die.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yes.

[Eddie Pepitone]

People make a lot of. Make a lot of decisions and watch a lot of things that make them upset. See, this is.

[Henry Zebrowski]

This guy did a BASE jumping thing, right? So I guess he had walked on a slack line that.

[Guest or Additional Speaker]

And he.

[Henry Zebrowski]

His name was Sketchy Andy.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Sketchy Lewis.

[Henry Zebrowski]

His name should have been Smacky.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Yes. Flatties. He's famous for. He was the guy who performed during Madonna's super bowl halftime show in 2012. And he died in a BASE jumping accident in Utah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Now what is that? That just means he just jumped, right? And then he.

[Eddie Pepitone]

He hit a bunch of.

[Alaska Thunderfuck 5000]

He.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Bad lieutenant. Some. Some heroin.

[Henry Zebrowski]

He did.

[Eddie Pepitone]

No, I'm just saying. Freeb. Space jumping. Free basing.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I was about to say this about. The story is about to get a lot better.

[Eddie Pepitone]

No, no, no. He just fell. And it's kind of sad. But here's the thing is if a daredevil never dies, then what's the point then? What's the point of the whole genre there?

[Henry Zebrowski]

I know.

[Eddie Pepitone]

I think that they have to die occasionally.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I also feel like in this way, this man died that in a way that would make him extremely happy, I think. You know, if he was going to die this way, I bet you he'd much rather die doing a BASE jump than dying of pancreatic cancer. Like LA hospice.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I imagine that he never really even thought about having grandchildren. Surrounding him in a deathbed and him like, you know, whittling and stuff.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Like, he. Probably not.

[Henry Zebrowski]

It's probably not even his mind.

[Eddie Pepitone]

It's probably what he wanted, cuz.

[Henry Zebrowski]

What's his name? Who's the guy that does all the, like, the climbs, like essentially flat surfaces that they give 500k to? The guy that. That other.

[Eddie Pepitone]

The guy did the Netflix thing. That was so boring.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Freeballing. What's it called?

[Eddie Pepitone]

Free. Oh, Free Solo.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Free Soloing.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Free Soloing.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah. He goes up there and he does that. He just hates his girlfriend so much.

[Eddie Pepitone]

I'm so. Free solo guy died too.

[Henry Zebrowski]

This another Free solo guy died.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Yeah. Free solo climber dies after fall into a volcanic crater. Yeah, no, that happened this week, too. And there was the chick who died bungee jumping, but they never attached the corridor.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I think this is about the Gemini moon.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Yeah. Is it in retrograde?

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah, I think it's the Gemini.

[Eddie Pepitone]

It's a bad moon for daredevils. It is.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I just think that there's maybe there was a, like, bad shipment of grippy socks. Do you think that there was, like. There's like one systemic factor that might have led to all of this, like a carabiner metal shortage or like a. Like, what's killing these guys?

[Eddie Pepitone]

I mean, you know, just time. I think Sketchy did it was time

[Henry Zebrowski]

for a group of them to die at once.

[Eddie Pepitone]

If you call yourself Sketchy and you walk between skyrises on a string, you're gonna die.

[Henry Zebrowski]

You're gonna die.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Eventually, you're gonna die.

[Henry Zebrowski]

And I do think that is the point. I do think the point of it is to eventually. Like, that's the circus life.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So he holds Guinness Book world records for walking a slack line above a waterfall in China. Okay. And he had a. Previously, he beat his own record after he did it in Las Vegas.

[Rob]

Wow.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Yeah. And so he's performed stunts on at least three different continents. But why would they go over a vacant.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Like a literal sizzling volcano?

[Eddie Pepitone]

Oh, no, I think it was dormant. It was in Yemen. This is a different guy who fell in. Yeah, I know. I thought the same thing. I always do. Yeah. I can't help every single day is that.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Am I the only person that does it? Whenever they see the word Yemen More like, yeah, man.

[Eddie Pepitone]

See, mine's more like, yeah, man. Yeah, man's a little chill. Yeah, man. Yeah, man. You know, but, yeah, so. So, yeah, yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Broken brains. That's what that is.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Yeah. But, you know, why did they all die at once? It's free. I don't know. It's just a coincidence that it all kind of happened at once.

[Henry Zebrowski]

But, you know, I feel like, though, that's almost good for the industry. Of course, if they all go at once, if it's like a big thing, it brings a lot of people back because, like, I very rarely. Like, is there a mailing list for Daredevil stunts?

[Eddie Pepitone]

I have no idea. I'm so far removed from the community. It couldn't be ridiculous.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Well, like, why don't we get those? Like, I feel like these things should be advertised more. Like, why are we not being invited to more Daredevil?

[Eddie Pepitone]

They should be on TV more.

[Henry Zebrowski]

You know what it is? All right, so let's look like. I feel like there's a little Sketchy.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Real quick. Look at Sketchy. Look at Andy Lewis. Andy. Sketchy Lewis. You know what it is? He's dressed like Evel Knievel. Came out beautiful suit made. Nudie suit type of.

[Henry Zebrowski]

You don't had a great helmet. You know that you're already walking down

[Eddie Pepitone]

my street because I dressed horribly.

[Henry Zebrowski]

He's lazy.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Yeah, yeah. You know, it's like, take your time. Think about every aspect of the show.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Dress the job. Dress for the job you want.

[Eddie Pepitone]

That's right.

[Henry Zebrowski]

And he looks like he's dressed like a messy corpse.

[Eddie Pepitone]

You should always look better than the audience. That's what part of being a performer.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I agree. I feel like that that's a thing that we've lost.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

On the whole. And I do think that that might have led to maybe if he took himself and his appearance more seriously, he would have taken his job more seriously.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Oh, my God. Nothing's worse than when you show up to see a band and they're in shorts.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah. I mean, I've talked about this. I won't wear pants on stage. I was taught by that.

[Rob]

By.

[Eddie Pepitone]

I saw that you wear pants on.

[Henry Zebrowski]

You only wear pants.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Only wear pants on stage.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Eddie Pepitone]

You can't. You can't wear shorts. Even in the hottest, most horrible conditions.

[Henry Zebrowski]

You're giving people power.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

If you wear shorts, it better be over 100.

[Eddie Pepitone]

At an outdoor festival.

[Henry Zebrowski]

If you're wearing shorts as a performer, you're telling the audience, I'm not better than you.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Yeah. Heckle me.

[Henry Zebrowski]

No you want disrespect me? That's what you're saying. Disrespect me. Here's my shins.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Hey, don't you hate the top? Don't you want to see? Oh, great, it's Alice Cooper socks.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Yeah, that's what I want to see.

[Henry Zebrowski]

But you know, no, honestly, it makes.

[Eddie Pepitone]

I'm sorry. Sketchy diet.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yes. It's not about that. I don't think it's like this is if there is one subject in which

[Eddie Pepitone]

the Yemeni spider man. I'm sorry, he died.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yes. Well, that turns out he met the Yemeni hobgoblin. And you have to be careful when you meet these guys, these unregulated non union super villains like they are out there. You know, these are just the knockoff super villains from over here and they don't have any rules.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Yeah. You know what I think it might have been is, yeah, I'm noticing this sketchy Andy Lewis. We're looking at his Instagram page 411,000. I think the problem is this is Daredevil shit has all gone to social media.

[Henry Zebrowski]

It has.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Evel Knievel had like.

[Henry Zebrowski]

It was television.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Television. People were making sure he wasn't gonna die, making sure that the stunt was advertised correctly.

[Henry Zebrowski]

It's almost like what you're illustrating is a point that the central media tent, like, like tent poles are a useless functionary money laundering system and probably wouldn't be the all in all and the most legitimate source to use for disclosure. You'd think that maybe even that the daredevils could teach somebody like Steven Spielberg

[Eddie Pepitone]

that maybe Henry had a bad time with disclosure.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Maybe they didn't need to go to a news station and all of this rigmarole. Like you could have cut an hour and 15 minutes out of that movie where they could have just posted to YouTube, but it's fine.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Yeah, but then they would have died. Like sketchy.

[Henry Zebrowski]

You know, it's almost like there's an Internet that's like freely available and that the guy. That's the super hacker that got the information in the first place.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Are these spoilers? I don't think it matters.

[Henry Zebrowski]

No, they know it's a popcorn movie. You know what the movie's about? Disclosure day. If it's just called disclosure day. Spoilers. If it's just a. Literally, Eddie, if I agree with you, if we want to take about away any sort of the political importance or anything about the message, if we just strip that from the movie. You're right. It is an Absolutely fine 6.5 out of 10 Action adventure movie you can take your grandmother to.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Yeah, that's what I liked about it. I like.

[Henry Zebrowski]

A lot of people.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Like, I like the Kaminsky and it feels cinematography.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I just feel like there's a thing that you could have done within that in which you could have maybe looked at a newspaper or. Or maybe like pulled your head out of your. Your ass. I'm going to say ass in terms of the subject. If you maybe say that you're one of the most educated creators in all of the subject of uvology, and you were Steven Spielberg, you'd think he might have a different view on some stuff or he might have learned something about how the world works. But it's fine. He's just in his own crystal castle.

[Eddie Pepitone]

He is in a giant property.

[Henry Zebrowski]

He's in a gian giant crystal castle in which he does. He doesn't grocery shop. He doesn't go to concerts. He doesn't see humans. He probably gets. He probably just talks, right. To Robert Bigelow, who's telling him fake things. It's a whole thing. We'll get to it. We'll save this.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Are you in too deep with aliens that you can no longer enjoy stuff?

[Henry Zebrowski]

You know, what it is, is that's not a slight.

[Eddie Pepitone]

I'm just curious.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I wonder. I actually have been trying to parse out why I'm having such an intense reaction.

[Alaska Thunderfuck 5000]

Action.

[Henry Zebrowski]

And like. Because I really did. And a lot of people I feel like, are talking like me where it's like, why can't I just. Like, it's a Spielberg popcorn movie. Like, what. What is wrong with me? And I think that the reason why is because it speaks to. He's writing a movie for a bunch of. He's writing movie for a world that doesn't exist. Yeah, it doesn't exist. We're literally in disclosure right now. It's like it's happened. It's like, like happening.

[Eddie Pepitone]

But the footage sucks.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yes. And it's also. The problem is, is that it's. It's. It's not a fantasy. It's not a fantasy. The United States government has already disclosed their stuff, guys. It happens.

[Eddie Pepitone]

You think that's everything.

[Henry Zebrowski]

No, it's not even about that. That's everything.

[Eddie Pepitone]

They have footage of an actual.

[Henry Zebrowski]

No, I think that they had any of that, they would have destroyed it a long time ago.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Okay.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I don't think any of that would ever see the light of day. I think the best part of the Disclosure Day movie was his filming of the old. The Old like lore parts. I thought that was the best I'm watching that.

[Eddie Pepitone]

I'm like, I just gotta love this.

[Henry Zebrowski]

That's the movie I want to see. Is that stuff?

[Eddie Pepitone]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Versus this.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Like if you want to see the incident, you don't want to Close Encounters,

[Henry Zebrowski]

the Third Kind is what you want to. Basically I would just say to you, go watch Close Encounters of the Third kind. It's the same movie but better.

[Eddie Pepitone]

I think they're re releasing it this year.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Go see it. Because it is the same movie with the same message about the same stuff. And it is done by somebody who actually lived a life amongst human beings. And Steven Spielberg has just lost touch. And you just think for somebod that probably has access to more information than any one of us ever has ever had. I imagine he has access to people. He could talk to anybody. And I feel like he still served an extremely lukewarm cope fest.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

That was not where we need the message to be right now. And that's the problem is it's just like it's just a movie made by a guy that doesn't know it. Seems like it's just made by a guy that has no idea what's happening. For the last 15 years.

[Eddie Pepitone]

He wanted to make a lot a fun action movie.

[Henry Zebrowski]

He did what it seems like and he could have made it about anything. And I feel like that's my problem is I feel like he could have just made an alien movie without making it this movie.

[Eddie Pepitone]

He's made five alien movies so far and I put this at number four. So do with that with what you will.

[Henry Zebrowski]

What is number five?

[Eddie Pepitone]

Number five. Indiana Jones and Chris Go is God awful.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah.

[Eddie Pepitone]

It should be shot out of a cannon.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah, I agree. Number one.

[Rob]

One.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Yes. I love E.T. with all of my heart.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Close Encounters, E.T. i love Minority Report of the Worlds. I love War of the World.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Except for the end.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yes. War of the World probably would have

[Eddie Pepitone]

been number one of that end if they. If that kid did. If that kid stayed dead.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yep.

[Eddie Pepitone]

I would put it number one.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I that's the whole thing. Also, the man who created dinosaurs can't make a remotely tangible alien.

[Eddie Pepitone]

You didn't like the way alone looked.

[Henry Zebrowski]

It's cgi.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Of course it's cgi.

[Henry Zebrowski]

What do you mean of course it's cgi? I'm actually getting angry. Of course it's cgi. He's legitimately like. It's like what in the living are we doing here? Like you're just.

[Eddie Pepitone]

He lost that sauce a long time ago.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah. I just like looked at that and I was like, this is garbage. All of this CGI is garbage.

[Eddie Pepitone]

It's so funny cuz I looked at it, I saw the movie, I enjoyed it, I give it like A. But I also like, it's a B, you know, for me it's not an A by any means.

[Henry Zebrowski]

You know, like, oh no. If you strip all of this context away from it, I'd call it a solid B, B min.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Yeah. See what I like about the movie is are you ready for this? It's so basic. This is how low my bar has gone. It's not a fucking sequel. It's an original idea. That's a summer movie and I. And I'm giving my money to it just for that reason.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I totally understand. I just wish our bar wasn't this low right now for. Especially for our masters. Especially for the OG masters and the

[Eddie Pepitone]

fact that they're old, they need to, they need to slowly start fading out.

[Henry Zebrowski]

He's doing better work than he's done in years. He's doing incredible.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Not the Irish men.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I love the Irishman. Except for the. Again, except for the digital shared in it.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

But it's like what did you think about Martin Scorsese in Mando and Grou?

[Eddie Pepitone]

I thought he was hilarious.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Does he suck his own dick in that as well or is it just Grogu?

[Eddie Pepitone]

No, he actually blows Grogu. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But he checks his id. He checks his id.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I guess that's. You want to know why?

[Eddie Pepitone]

Honestly?

[Henry Zebrowski]

Let me just make sure. You know what honesty, Eddie, is that my heart's been broken. And I find, you know what they say, the heart most hardened cynic was always the one that had had his heart open the most. And I think it's because when I was a little boy and I thought it when I was first engaging with the mystery of UFOs and the idea of a government conspiracy and the idea of a cover up and all this other kind of stuff was filled with a wonder for me and was filled with this idea that life was more complicated than everybody was pitching it to me as. As it was versus the priests and shit. And I think that when I then watch this movie about what's really like, I. I guess there's a part of me that's like, that's gone. It would have been a much better

[Eddie Pepitone]

movie if it came out 20 years ago.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yes. When he wrote it, when he came up with the concept 30 years ago. I think that I am just one of those where I look at this. And I. My heart breaks because that world doesn't exist. Because the idea of everybody going like, oh, my God, there's aliens, when literally I just showed one of the preeminent drag queens in our country, literally the best footage I have ever seen of a ufo, and they're. We're all like, all right. That's where we're at. The. Where we're at is. Is we can't even get the United States, the people, United States government, to punish our president, the United States, who is a convicted rapist and a pedophile. And when we're at that level, I don't think that disclosure is fixing everything. Let's just say the aliens aren't going to. The complications brought about, it ain't going to fix it. And if they're fucking biological in nature, they're gonna kill and eat us. And they're lying to you. They're lying. The aliens are lying to us. If they're real, they tell everybody something different. If you believe in the secret lore of the actual alien structure of the government and you believe what they're. Let's just say you really believe in that conspiracy theory. If you actually look at it, the aliens are telling everybody they meet something different. So the aliens are lying or no

[Eddie Pepitone]

one can understand them.

[Rob]

Yes.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Have you seen this picture that's been going around talking to the Nordics? Yeah.

[Eddie Pepitone]

I mean, fake. Yeah, it's an AI picture.

[Henry Zebrowski]

So even if the aliens are real, they're lying. We don't fit into their agenda. We have nothing to do with their agenda. If they have gotten here physically, it's because they're either running from something or they're running to something because they've ran out of resources. This is what's happening, guys. They. That's the reality. We're not. Or we're zoo. And then. Great.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

What do we do about that? Nothing.

[Eddie Pepitone]

I just think they would have killed us by now.

[Henry Zebrowski]

No, it's because they. Because we don't matter to them. We're ants. We're literally just whatever to them.

[Eddie Pepitone]

We kill ants all the time.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah, but. But we also kill them.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Killing my ants right now, but you

[Henry Zebrowski]

know what I mean? Like, they don't. But just because it's like that, they. We just don't figure into their plans. We're just on a part. They have bigger ideas than us and they couldn't care. Couldn't care.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Fucking.

[Henry Zebrowski]

And then, like, that's. That's why I get angry, is because we're learning nothing from the phenomena we're learning nothing. We don't understand that this is, it's just this, this whole thing. I think the real secret, the very real secret is what I've been saying all along is that they've got stuff and they've been trying to make stuff out of it and they have no idea what it is. And they've been maybe contacted by if it's. Again, if all of this is real, every single layer of it. They've been, they've talked to somebody who's told them something different. I think that they are paralyz. I think the FBI and the CIA and all these various fucking three letter institutions that are looking at all this shit are absolutely flabbergasted and don't know what to do and they don't know why it doesn't pay attention to us and they don't know how to make it pay attention to us and they don't know anything fucking about it. So then they, they now we are in a truly malicious administration that is using this and weaponizing it against just humans. So like that's the problem.

[Eddie Pepitone]

What if we're their reality show?

[Henry Zebrowski]

I mean I think what if they're

[Eddie Pepitone]

like filming us for a documentary kind of like how we make Planet Earth

[Henry Zebrowski]

or like that incredible show the Paper on NBC? No, I. Yeah, yeah. It's very possible.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Jerry Corbell says he's seen everything and there is real disclosure coming

[Henry Zebrowski]

from where, from who?

[Eddie Pepitone]

I don't know. We're going to talk to him eventually so we'll find out. But he, he did say that recently

[Henry Zebrowski]

and if you show somebody an alien alien, they will not believe it. If you show, if you brought an alien, can you imagine an alien walking on a Bill Maher? That's what that, that's what that movie is. Disclosure day to me is I wonder if the alien be able to handle himself on Bill Maher show with his political antics.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Yeah, we seem pretty sick.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah, good.

[Eddie Pepitone]

The. I had a great time. Henry didn't use that information. But I will take this opportunity to plug Movie Stories, our new show that is on Sirius. It's a Sirius XM exclusive. But it's also the video footage from that same show is available on our Patreon. So go check that out if you get a chance. I think that's a good idea. And also I want to say real quick, I went to go see the death of Robin Hood last night at a sneak preview. A24 invited me and I went and I had a great time. It's fucking brutal. If you like a brutal ass fucking movie. That's not the real story of Robin Hood. It's like their own story of Robin Hood. Go see this fucking movie when it comes out.

[Rob]

Out.

[Eddie Pepitone]

It's brutal. Lots of stabs. Yeah, dude. Hell yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Just know we don't receive any money for these things.

[Eddie Pepitone]

No, no, no. This is just me having a good time being like, oh, I sat next to the director.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah, yeah.

[Eddie Pepitone]

During the movie, it was the crazy. He also directed Pig, which I love. And the whole time I was just like, I was so nervous to react or not to react or whatever. Yeah, yeah. But then I left before the Q and A. I don't. I didn't want to talk to him, but. Yeah, no, but I remember just putting. Oh, yeah, we give him a couple of those. Just so he like, you know, felt good about him. He's like, yeah, good.

[Henry Zebrowski]

That fat guy likes it. Great.

[Eddie Pepitone]

That's all I need.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I need him. I need him.

[Eddie Pepitone]

40,000 more fat men. 100,000 more fat men. So if you're fat and you like to watch people get stabbed in the neck, check out Death of Robin.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Honestly, that is what I want to hear.

[Eddie Pepitone]

That's exactly what I like to hear. We have a great guest joining us.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I can't wait to go through these stories. This person, like, honestly, I'm a huge fan of the, of our guests. They are genuinely intelligent, slight phony, as evil as you want her to be. Put your ears on the headphones.

[Eddie Pepitone]

I think that's. Yeah, yeah. You can clap at home if you want.

[Henry Zebrowski]

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[Eddie Pepitone]

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[Henry Zebrowski]

So before we get into our MMA update today, I want to ask you kind of first of all, before we even get into it. What are your supplements? Like, what are you on right now? And kind of like, what? Like, I'd love to know what your weight routine is.

[Alaska Thunderfuck 5000]

I thought you were gonna say, what are your pronouns?

[Henry Zebrowski]

I was like, wow.

[Alaska Thunderfuck 5000]

Thank you for asking. I literally thought my mind auto completed that.

[Henry Zebrowski]

No, you're on a straight man podcast. We talk about supplements.

[Eddie Pepitone]

What are pronouns?

[Alaska Thunderfuck 5000]

Oh, my God. I saw a shirt. This is really inappropriate. I shouldn't say it. I'm gonna say it. No, there's a shirt that was like, oh, you like pronouns. Well, let me she slash them titties.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah, yeah. Come on.

[Guest or Additional Speaker]

Thank you.

[Henry Zebrowski]

And honestly, I really appreciate being seen in that way.

[Alaska Thunderfuck 5000]

We're done.

[Guest or Additional Speaker]

We're done.

[Alaska Thunderfuck 5000]

I'm gonna go. Okay. That was you.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Take it. Take it down. Take it down the pipe, Eddie.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Take it down the pipe. Yeah. Well, we're joined here by Alaska Thunderfuck 5000. You are an alien. A drag queen alien from the planet Glamtron.

[Alaska Thunderfuck 5000]

Disclosure.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Thank you.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Don't bring it up. I'm already angry. We're gonna talk about all about it.

[Eddie Pepitone]

But you got a new song out called Revolution. It's your first release in four years.

[Alaska Thunderfuck 5000]

Oh, my God.

[Eddie Pepitone]

And it is. The whole album's coming out soon and it's produced by the amazing Ash Gordon, Friends of the show.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yes.

[Eddie Pepitone]

She Ash did the. The song at the end of the Halloween album.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yes. They work with us, Ash Gordon, and we work with Isaac Hansen, and we created our song. We are the band Mask for Trash.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Indeed. But Revolution is out now on all streaming platforms. If you want to listen to it in this moment, press pause. Go to wherever you listen to music, listen to Revolution, enjoy it, put it on your playlist for June, and have a good time.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Time, pause. Thank you. Done. Completed. Now we're back in. Back in. Honestly, was really great. Thank you very much for being here.

[Alaska Thunderfuck 5000]

So my supplements, you are asking me? Yes, I work out reluctantly.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Well, we all have to.

[Alaska Thunderfuck 5000]

Yes.

[Marcus Parks]

I walk.

[Alaska Thunderfuck 5000]

I hate every second of it, but I do it. And then I drink, like plant based protein. And then I. I have been drinking a little bit of, like, creatine with it.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Same. It makes me feel bigger and stronger and wider.

[Alaska Thunderfuck 5000]

Yeah, it's probably just placebo powder, but I feel so fierce doing it.

[Henry Zebrowski]

What was your reaction to the UFC fight? Did it meet your expectations? So that was on the White House lawn this weekend?

[Alaska Thunderfuck 5000]

I don't. I didn't see it. I know nothing about it.

[Henry Zebrowski]

You missed it.

[Alaska Thunderfuck 5000]

Who was that?

[Henry Zebrowski]

I believe it was. It was Vladimir Blanca St. Dunk vs. Dustin Jimenez. I'm making up. I feel like that's the races that would be there.

[Alaska Thunderfuck 5000]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

And I feel like they fought each other, and then the man came out and yelled about Michelle Obama. I saw that, and that made me upset.

[Alaska Thunderfuck 5000]

Oh, I heard about that. Like, this is the equivalent of fuck all right in the pussy. Remember that on the news? They'd be like, what do you think about this issue? Fuck all right in the pussy.

[Henry Zebrowski]

But my question is, why fight? Why not hug? Why not kiss?

[Eddie Pepitone]

Kiss?

[Alaska Thunderfuck 5000]

Yeah. Thank you. No, I don't know what's going on with that. The. The movie Idiocracy has become a documentary.

[Eddie Pepitone]

We were talking about that. But President Camacho has a moral code.

[Guest or Additional Speaker]

Dude.

[Henry Zebrowski]

President Camacho is a better president than Trump. He literally listens to his advisers. That whole movie about stops using the Gatorade. Kacho learns and grows in the film.

[Marcus Parks]

Now, here on the White House lawn, we had a mechanical bull. Yeah.

[Eddie Pepitone]

The audience was fighting each other.

[Marcus Parks]

Audience fought each other many, many times. And the. The watch party for the UFC 250 or the America 250, Trump's birthday, so on and so forth. It was held on the exact same place where Trump held the rally that led to the insurrection on January 6th.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Oh.

[Alaska Thunderfuck 5000]

Oh, it's poetic.

[Henry Zebrowski]

It is beautiful.

[Marcus Parks]

I read someone, one comment that I saw that was great, Great. Like, this event is going to be in the history books in a bad way.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

Like, this is the. We're going to. They're going to show, like, this is the depths. Hopefully, this is the furthest down we go. But from a lot of the, I guess, reports that I read from it, one guy said, I haven't felt this good about politics in a decade because it's just so ineffectual. It's so weird.

[Henry Zebrowski]

And did you see the chain? Bald eagle on a chain. So it could fly around the audience

[Eddie Pepitone]

and not go away. He also gave away a gold coin with his face on it that's worth $12,000.

[Alaska Thunderfuck 5000]

Oh, my God.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

But can we also ask why are his actions like, we're all in the house of Rue. Right. Why are his actions like a drag queen in many ways, in terms of the way he can really press out some merch, and I think, girl, she can. And, like, where's your coin?

[Alaska Thunderfuck 5000]

He's. No, he. Where's my coin?

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah, this is. I feel like you guys.

[Alaska Thunderfuck 5000]

Funny you mentioned that. Available now on Alaska thunderfuck.com. i'm just. But wait, I am selling something.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah. I'll take It.

[Alaska Thunderfuck 5000]

It's because I am a drag queen. This is what we do. This is the Alaska Thunderfuck blue fuzzy bucket hat.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Honestly, it's really cute.

[Eddie Pepitone]

That's. Honestly great.

[Alaska Thunderfuck 5000]

Wow. This is the equivalent of my Trump gold coin.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Yeah.

[Alaska Thunderfuck 5000]

Thank you. This is my eagle on a chain airplane pillow. I know. Yeah, you could.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Can you please bring an eagle to a chain on one of your live shows?

[Alaska Thunderfuck 5000]

I've been trying for years.

[Marcus Parks]

He meant it like, you know, but we're in the house. Ruin all that. One of my favorite Instagram guys right now is a dude who lip sync thinks. Trump speeches as a gay man and says that he was born to be a gay.

[Alaska Thunderfuck 5000]

Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

And he does all. Yeah. Has all the. You know, what do you think about that? Like, because Trump so many times, like, this man is beautiful. He came out. Oh, my God. I was so.

[Henry Zebrowski]

He was going to muscles.

[Marcus Parks]

I couldn't believe how.

[Alaska Thunderfuck 5000]

I just.

[Marcus Parks]

I have to go now. Like, do you think that he channels that at all?

[Alaska Thunderfuck 5000]

He's just deeply disturbed. Like, I don't know what's going on with the gentleman. I just don't. But he smells really bad. I think.

[Henry Zebrowski]

What's wrong with men?

[Eddie Pepitone]

This is a great question. Yeah, I don't.

[Alaska Thunderfuck 5000]

I. I think it's unfair to generalize about all men. Like, there's a lot of, like, oh, men should die kind of narrative, and I actually don't believe that. I think there are good men. They're just not that fucking loud because the bad ones are really, really loud. So, like, there's a lot of good just, like, shutting the up and, like, not being annoying.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah, but that's a problem. But they feel like on some point, they got to go beat up the other big, loud men. How do you make nice, quiet men. Big, other nice, quiet men, into big, loud men? But for good reasons.

[Alaska Thunderfuck 5000]

I don't want to.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Oh, no.

[Alaska Thunderfuck 5000]

I don't know. We just need, like, a specific virus that, like, takes out the. The wrong ones.

[Henry Zebrowski]

You know? What?

[Alaska Thunderfuck 5000]

Is that insane?

[Eddie Pepitone]

No.

[Alaska Thunderfuck 5000]

Is that, like. I shouldn't say that.

[Eddie Pepitone]

No. It's what Planet the Apes is all. All about.

[Alaska Thunderfuck 5000]

It is.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Alaska Thunderfuck 5000]

Okay.

[Marcus Parks]

Ed just loves monkeys, and he's just happy that all the men died and it's just monkeys left.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Well, then they became. That's their problem. They just turned into people. So speaking of turn into people, I.

[Eddie Pepitone]

I had a quick question before we go too far off of the. I. I look at our president, and I. And I'm like, this has got to take a long time to get ready, like, with the makeup and the hair. What do you think? How long do you think it takes? What are they using? What do you notice? What's wrong with what's right?

[Alaska Thunderfuck 5000]

I like to have two hours to, like, get into drag.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah.

[Alaska Thunderfuck 5000]

And he probably. I mean, he. It looks shoddily applied. Yeah. Like, you look applied. Thank you. It was in my contract that you had to say that. Yes. No, it's shot. It's approximately applied, and it's not good. The hair system is quite in depth, though, so that. That probably takes the longest plugs.

[Henry Zebrowski]

You think he's on finished, dried. We know that now on what he's on, like, propecia. He's unlike generalized propecia. So he's. He's definitely taking something for it. And I know that they do pattern it, but I do know that it is losing its strength.

[Alaska Thunderfuck 5000]

Does that. Yeah. There's got to be some fakeness in there because. Yeah. It doesn't seem like he would have a lot going on.

[Henry Zebrowski]

It's all pushed around and it's mesh into a sort of a big pile on top.

[Alaska Thunderfuck 5000]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

And I've seen it in person once. I did a bit for David Letterman once, and he was there, and I watched him walk into a room, and he does smell like a garbage dump. And he is about. He is probably 5 foot 11. And he goes through. He. I remember going through green room snacks. I wasn't allowed to be in the room. I was put where the. The. All the garbage cans were real. I was put in a hallway, a bunch of garbage cans so he could be alone in the room. And then I walked over, and then they shoot me out even when I was in, like, alone in the room. Because they said, this is room for Mr. Trump. And Mr. Trump went in there, and all he did was stick his hands in all the food. Like, literally, like, pawed around all the food with his hands and then just left. Oh, yeah, that's our president. That's why I voted him for four. Four times.

[Eddie Pepitone]

That's.

[Henry Zebrowski]

That's hard. Through my parents, through me, I have a little Mexican man that I threatened. There's so many ways to vote.

[Marcus Parks]

Is there a drag queen that is a nightmare in the green room? Like, that just touches all the stuff.

[Alaska Thunderfuck 5000]

Alyssa Edwards.

[Henry Zebrowski]

All right, I think it's time for us to get some important news. All right, now, we were heard. So you're an alien, and we know that it's a part of your shtick, bubba. We know that. Right, we know. But you also are interested in subject yeah. Currently, we are in what you'd call the peak days of disclosure. It has already happened. We have already. The US government has already unleashed every single thing that they already have. And guess what it is Alaska. You said it right before we started recording.

[Alaska Thunderfuck 5000]

A dot.

[Henry Zebrowski]

It's lots of dots.

[Alaska Thunderfuck 5000]

Moving dot.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Lots of moving dots. And it's lots of orbs. We love orbs here.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Could be I floated.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I get swimming. Total. You get swimmies?

[Alaska Thunderfuck 5000]

Oh, yeah. All the time.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah. I don't know where that started. I think it's just.

[Eddie Pepitone]

They're fun to follow.

[Henry Zebrowski]

It's wisdom. But I'd love to show you one. Or just like, I want to get your take on. This is actual new footage. This came out several days ago. This was released as a part of the third gigantic release, which is part of. Why I don't. I get angry about this new. New UFO stuff is because it's all leading towards fighting against undocumented human beings. Like, so they're being a really. They're doing a really cute thing where they're tying humans and aliens together. Right. But I'll say the guys that worked on my front yard, they don't have anything like this. So, like, let's look at this. So this is a video that was seen, like, now we don't know what this is. They believe that this was filmed somewhere around the times. You remember when we were dealing with all the. The Chinese balloons in 23.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Yeah. The ones going to Alaska.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yes. So this thing is just like, there are a lot of people saying, like, oh, this is not a balloon.

[Eddie Pepitone]

It looks like a balloon, but they just exploded it.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Right. So whatever it was, they blew it up. And then including other weird little orbs flying around. Now, this was not a part of the thing. I guess this may or may not be the thing we shot over Lake Huron. That is kind of what they're saying right now, that this might be the object that we shot. And then we couldn't find the debris of.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Okay.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Because it exploded into a bunch of million different pieces.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Can I ask a stupid question? What's all the redacted stuff? Like, what is that?

[Henry Zebrowski]

Like, I think it's like there is a couple open penises. That's a line of first. First lady vaginas. They have those just so that you know that's a new seal.

[Alaska Thunderfuck 5000]

Yeah, yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Because Eleanor Roosevelt squatted on a bunch of stu. Like, do you like. Where is your sense of wonder at right now? Alaska.

[Alaska Thunderfuck 5000]

In the toilet. That. That's a party balloon. Next. What is that?

[Eddie Pepitone]

You guys.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Well, it's like, I don't know. And we.

[Marcus Parks]

Seriously, we're not with you.

[Alaska Thunderfuck 5000]

Disclose something good. There's got to be something good that's like, hello, I'm an alien, remember? Alien Autopsy.

[Eddie Pepitone]

That was awesome.

[Alaska Thunderfuck 5000]

Bring that back. Disclose that.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I want to see the show President Autopsy. I mean, it'll be next. Next year, but this one. Okay, so this one's better. Okay, this is my problem, Alaska. This is the exact problem is the fact that we don't know what we're doing with. And they do look like several different things. That obviously is in my mind. Yeah, of course it's a balloon, but they're telling us it's not.

[Eddie Pepitone]

But the way it blew up there was like chunks of stuff. Yes. You know, balloons don't have chunks of stuff.

[Henry Zebrowski]

So the government is telling us straight up that's something. We don't know what it is.

[Alaska Thunderfuck 5000]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

What does that mean?

[Alaska Thunderfuck 5000]

The government has never lied.

[Henry Zebrowski]

So that's the thing.

[Alaska Thunderfuck 5000]

Believe. I believe them completely.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I've always felt very at home with the government.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Yeah, well, technically, you'd have to.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yes, I'm forced here. I can't not. So this one, to be honest, is one of the more interesting ones I've ever seen. Just because it's the first time I'm act. You're actually going to see the movement of a UFO that they talk about in these reports.

[Alaska Thunderfuck 5000]

Okay.

[Henry Zebrowski]

So this is an object that was filming. It's like right above the ocean. We know that it's solid because it can get a lock on it. And then it goes up. Right. It ramps up and then boom. So that's what's weird. This is a thing. This is a. An example of UFO flight that I have not seen. On one of these videos which they actually show the. In an instant, it disappears.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Like it noticed the. Is this like, taken from a fighter jet? I'm. I'm thinking yes.

[Henry Zebrowski]

It was being tracked out on the middle of the ocean because people see stuff out there all the time, apparently.

[Alaska Thunderfuck 5000]

Can you. Okay, can you play it again? And can you put. Hold on, wait for it. Can you put the Sonic the Hedgehog music on it? Because it looks like

[Eddie Pepitone]

a bunch of rings going along.

[Alaska Thunderfuck 5000]

It's like a really fun arcade game is what it looks like. Like. Yeah, no, that's fears.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Great.

[Henry Zebrowski]

It is interesting.

[Alaska Thunderfuck 5000]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

How would you like hardcore disclosure? Like, how do you think it would affect you? Like, like genuinely. Do you think that you. It would change the way you view the world or you think you just keep doing what you were doing.

[Alaska Thunderfuck 5000]

No. Yeah. I think we would just keep doing what we were doing. And. And I think that they are just like, oh, girl, we don't need to get near all that. You know, like, sort of when, like, like, we are a mess. And they. They're like, just, you know, or bless them. You know, bless their hearts.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Do you think that there's any one scene that could bring them all together? Like, the idea of, like, getting out there, like, what's a good downtown city for the aliens to all meet together in? Like, what's got a good scene out there? What's got a fun nightlife?

[Alaska Thunderfuck 5000]

What was the one in Independence. Independence Day, where the people were, like, partying on the top of the roof?

[Eddie Pepitone]

The Capital Records building.

[Alaska Thunderfuck 5000]

Yeah, that. Yeah. I would like to go there, and I would be part of that party. I think that would be fun.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yes.

[Alaska Thunderfuck 5000]

Yeah. And I don't think they're gonna just blow us up. I think they're like, they. They want us to get better. They're praying for us.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I. I mean, but in prayers work.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Are you scared of it? So you're not scared of aliens?

[Alaska Thunderfuck 5000]

No.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Either am I. Henry's deathly afraid of.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I personally believe if they are biological in nature, we should not be saying hello to them.

[Alaska Thunderfuck 5000]

Really.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I think that if I partially believe that the phenomena is half psychic and that largely we're looking at an interdimensional thing, we're looking at something that we can't entirely collect evidence on because it's not entirely a part of our reality.

[Alaska Thunderfuck 5000]

Have you heard that they're us from the future? Have you heard that one?

[Eddie Pepitone]

That's my favorite one.

[Marcus Parks]

Have you heard that Bigfoot is actually a time traveler from the future and the Bigfoot suit is the time travel suit?

[Henry Zebrowski]

Oh, is that one?

[Eddie Pepitone]

Is that your Bigfoot?

[Henry Zebrowski]

But also, I like the idea, too. What if Bigfoot's ghost of a caveman,

[Eddie Pepitone]

why would he be all hairy? Why would he be all tall?

[Henry Zebrowski]

What if he's just a ghost of a caveman? No, it's like, there's. There's stuff like that. But then I do believe, like, it's not going to change my day to day, but it would be nice, like, to write on my taxes. Like, fuck you, aliens. Right?

[Eddie Pepitone]

How would you write that on your taxes?

[Henry Zebrowski]

Big letters, big paper forms, giant fill out all the. Print out all the paperwork, writer, and fuck you, aliens.

[Alaska Thunderfuck 5000]

Fuck.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Fuck you.

[Alaska Thunderfuck 5000]

Yeah, I love that.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I want to go to them. I'm going to go straight to the source. I'm sick of the Middleman.

[Alaska Thunderfuck 5000]

If they. If it moved. Okay, this vid. I'm still on this video. If it moves at the speed of light, then it would just go. It would just disappear. Because our vision is based on light. So like, that just like sped up a little bit.

[Eddie Pepitone]

So it's probably just sound.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Well, they believe it moves at the speed of gravity. And so the part of what they. If you believe the UFOs are a real machine, part of what they way they think they could work is they create what's called in front of them a gravity well, which is essentially an absence of gravity in which then gravity. Then they're pulled forward by this absence of gravity. Gravity in front of them. So what they do is create this sort of. So they're moving at a. They're not like. That's why allows them to like, not be by inertia on the inside. That's where they're not splattered against the walls.

[Marcus Parks]

They're being pulled instead of pushed.

[Alaska Thunderfuck 5000]

Like Futurama. It is the Futurama ship. They're like, we actually don't go fast. We just move the whole universe around us so we stay still.

[Henry Zebrowski]

You just literally just watched that episode

[Marcus Parks]

a few days ago.

[Alaska Thunderfuck 5000]

Yeah. And the smell escope. Can we get that? Is that real?

[Marcus Parks]

It's not, unfortunately, no.

[Alaska Thunderfuck 5000]

It's not real.

[Henry Zebrowski]

No. Wouldn't like that, though. I don't think we'd like a lot of the smells of the past. I think we'd be pretty unhappy with that smell.

[Marcus Parks]

What Pluto smells like.

[Eddie Pepitone]

I am curious.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah. I don't know. Well, it smells like. Probably like blood. It's all made out of metal.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Like what Dodge City smelled like. Yeah. All right.

[Henry Zebrowski]

We got some other stories we're going to move on because I do want you to also, I want your take on this.

[Alaska Thunderfuck 5000]

Okay.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Guy Fieri, first of all, what's good? Let's just. Oh, just your. First of all, like, I say the words Guy Fieri to you. What's your first response?

[Alaska Thunderfuck 5000]

Drag.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yes.

[Guest or Additional Speaker]

Great.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah, perfect.

[Eddie Pepitone]

He puts the. I always think that he puts the sunglasses on the back of his head so people get confused when they try to punch him in the face.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I thought it was to discourage tiger attacks.

[Marcus Parks]

Why do you put Guy Fieri, like, specifically in the drag category?

[Alaska Thunderfuck 5000]

He's just got that look. And there's queens who do him. Really? And it's very effective. I think he's been done on Snatch Game. If he hasn't, he should be immediately.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah, he's been done on Snatch Game. He should have Been done on Snatch.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Alaska Thunderfuck 5000]

He's an instantly recognizable look. And there these, this is so necessary for television. So I'm, I, I, I, I fucks with him.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Do you also believe, like, the idea of. I, you know, I follow the works of Aleister Crowley, Anton lavey, all these types of people creating a silhouette in an image and how much that's more makes you almost more powerful than yourself as a human.

[Alaska Thunderfuck 5000]

Yeah. Like a cartoon character.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah. And then it sends you. Is that a thing that you purposely think about when you put together your character, or does it just kind of naturally come about that way?

[Alaska Thunderfuck 5000]

It has to come about not naturally and organically, but then once it does, then you can, like, be like, okay, this is my, this is what I look like.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah, because you, obviously, I've followed your career and you, like, really, you've concreted yourself into this incredible, incredible form.

[Alaska Thunderfuck 5000]

I know I'm known for wearing long blonde hair with a big blonde thing on top. And here I am in dark brown hair that doesn't have a thing on top.

[Henry Zebrowski]

You contain multitudes.

[Alaska Thunderfuck 5000]

My image has been dismantled before your very eyes. No one can recognize me.

[Henry Zebrowski]

All right, well, now, this is this, this guy, Right?

[Eddie Pepitone]

So Guy Fieri, he's got a show, Diners Driving and Dies, we've all seen a million times. But the theory going around the Internet is he ain't eaten.

[Marcus Parks]

True.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Yeah. So it's. There's lots. And then it seems silly, but if

[Henry Zebrowski]

the more you watch the show and the more you see clips of the show, you start to see he's not swallowing the food and he might not even be biting the food.

[Eddie Pepitone]

But it's not like he's thin.

[Henry Zebrowski]

No.

[Eddie Pepitone]

You would expect if he wasn't eating the food, he'd be thin.

[Alaska Thunderfuck 5000]

Does he chew sometimes?

[Marcus Parks]

Sometimes.

[Eddie Pepitone]

We have some clips now.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yes, we have some clips. Can we show the clips? It is kind of wild to think that, like, I think that he might eat. I. He might eat something like giant eggs, like those characters from Super Mario 2. It's more like giant, like, oh, crap.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Big bird.

[Alaska Thunderfuck 5000]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

It just swallows one egg a week. Like a snake.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Gray. Look at this happening.

[Alaska Thunderfuck 5000]

Look at this picture. You can spot who he is and you can't even see his whole.

[Eddie Pepitone]

No, you're right. It's just forehead and hair. It's like, that's no one else but Guy Fieri. Yeah. But There's a new YouTuber, Doc Spaghetti. He is on the case. He's been watching every episode of Diners Drive Ins and Dives. And pointing out the exact moments.

[Henry Zebrowski]

He doesn't need to be a lawyer. He doesn't care what his father says. He watches Guy Fieri.

[Eddie Pepitone]

All right, look at this.

[Alaska Thunderfuck 5000]

Okay, he bit

[Eddie Pepitone]

and he doesn't swallow. Watch.

[Marcus Parks]

Well, he's. He's enjoying it.

[Eddie Pepitone]

He's chewing, he's chewing, chewing. We don't know if there's anything in. In there.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Cut, cut.

[Eddie Pepitone]

All right, now watch the bite again. Watch the bite again. He doesn't actually bite now. Here, that. Yeah, watch this. It's all stay.

[Henry Zebrowski]

It was already bit. It was already.

[Alaska Thunderfuck 5000]

It was already bit.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

He did a phantom bite. It's a mind bite.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Yeah. There's nothing going on. He rubbed his face against the sandwich. He didn't put anything in his mouth.

[Henry Zebrowski]

He's eating, he's eating. Its all right.

[Eddie Pepitone]

And I actually.

[Marcus Parks]

Alaska. You were actually uniquely qualified to comment on this because you've been on a lot of reality tv, you know, two seasons of Drag Race, and, you know, a lot of things have to be reshot. You know, moments have to be recreated. Do you think that they're just recreating a moment for, like a better angle?

[Alaska Thunderfuck 5000]

This is, this is. I do know about this because that's like lip syncing. But it's lip sync eating.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yes, it is lip sync eating.

[Alaska Thunderfuck 5000]

This is very Golden Girl. She used to always. She would always do this because you can't sit there and eat the thing because you have to stay online. So she'd be like, oh, aloha, girls. So it's lipstick eating. And that's what she's doing. But, you know, she never swallows.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I mean, look at this. So they also showed this thing too, where he puts the. He does this move, which I've seen him do, where he fakes it, where he starts with it up by. He takes that up from the top, right? He see, he's taking it with the chopsticks and then it talks to him. Just.

[Alaska Thunderfuck 5000]

There's nothing in the chopsticks.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Chopsticks, no.

[Rob]

Why is he doing.

[Eddie Pepitone]

He's not eating. So here's the thing, though.

[Alaska Thunderfuck 5000]

I love it.

[Eddie Pepitone]

You're going to five diners a day, you got to fake a couple, right?

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah, but then there's a part.

[Eddie Pepitone]

All of it.

[Henry Zebrowski]

But at what point he'd be dead

[Eddie Pepitone]

if he ate all of it.

[Henry Zebrowski]

But if you're. You're fat royalty, right? You're Joey Chestnut, you're fat royalty, as we know he does. But I'm just saying, like, if you're fat royalty, to me, you need to be eating like, Jelly Roll is a race traitor to his fat world.

[Eddie Pepitone]

That's why he's getting divorced.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Exactly. I think. I honestly think he lost the weight and that's. And she fell out of love with him.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Yeah, that's exactly what happened.

[Alaska Thunderfuck 5000]

She was like, I'm not living for the.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I don't want him. His name is jelly roll, not Mr. Sticks.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Okay?

[Henry Zebrowski]

Your job is to be a fat, and so is Guy Fieri's job is to be a fat.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Yeah. How are you gonna sell donkey sauce knowing that we know you don't eat?

[Henry Zebrowski]

Would you believe a word Guy Fieri said if you found out he owned an elliptical?

[Alaska Thunderfuck 5000]

I think it's like, in, like, adult films. This is like saying they don't eat. No, he. You know how they. They're like, I don't. This is like a gay thing. Like, I'm not gonna bottom. Like, I'm not. I'm just a top. And so then when they finally do bottom, it's like a big event. And so this is like that. So, like, when he actually does eat, it's gonna be a. It's gonna be a major news day.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Oh, my God. We should.

[Alaska Thunderfuck 5000]

Saving it.

[Henry Zebrowski]

We should do it on a. He should do a live stream for charity.

[Alaska Thunderfuck 5000]

Yes. I, Guy Fieri, am actually going to eat today on the White House lawn

[Henry Zebrowski]

every time he eats. We. We pay enough money to get one immigration lawyer to release one person from being held in an ICE detainment center. And I honestly think that's a really good way to aim that.

[Alaska Thunderfuck 5000]

Let's do a.

[Marcus Parks]

God.

[Henry Zebrowski]

All right, wait.

[Marcus Parks]

If nobody wants to bottom, then who's bottoming the whole time?

[Alaska Thunderfuck 5000]

Well, there are plenty of us.

[Marcus Parks]

Okay.

[Alaska Thunderfuck 5000]

Out. There's plenty. There is. No, no, this is the thing. There's a top shortage.

[Henry Zebrowski]

What is that?

[Alaska Thunderfuck 5000]

I love that you're asking this, because in the gay community, is. Is well known that everyone at the bottom at all times, like, and the. And the bottoms have a really hard time finding tops. And so they find one, and it's like, you know, we struck gold.

[Henry Zebrowski]

And then. Do you then. Is he then given to the community, to the bottom community?

[Alaska Thunderfuck 5000]

Yes. He does his service, and then he realizes that he's the bottom. And it was a circle of gay life. I'm glad I could share it with you.

[Henry Zebrowski]

And more relaxing to be about him. Is it just more just, like, easygoing and just like one of those, where is your life? Just funner that way and just more, you know, like, they love that. Yeah.

[Alaska Thunderfuck 5000]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I've heard they just can't get enough. I saw it in a magazine.

[Eddie Pepitone]

I saw it in several very long magazines.

[Henry Zebrowski]

All right, here we go. Here we go. So this is actually a really good way. The good thing to end on this actually.

[Alaska Thunderfuck 5000]

Yeah.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Because this guy would be a great top. But he's dead.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I don't know if he would.

[Alaska Thunderfuck 5000]

Dead tops are the best.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Okay, here we go. So this guy, this lucky dead human being, Old British man from the 78 year. 78 year old. 78 years youngstead. He donated his body to science because they found out he had three penises. And he had three penis. He had a top. He had a main outside penis. Outside penises.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

But in his balls were two more penises.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Tiny penises. Just hiding, just hiding.

[Marcus Parks]

And we have no idea if he knew. Knew that he had three penises or if he lived his entire 70 year old life never knowing that he had three penises.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Well, they said they would have found out if they ever had to give him a catheter.

[Marcus Parks]

Sure.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Because one of the p. Because the. One of the penises, the P hole, the P was connected, went through one penis and then into the outside penis and then out the front door.

[Marcus Parks]

I remember they called his urethra torturous.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah, torturous.

[Eddie Pepitone]

So outside penis, 3 inches. 3 inches long.

[Henry Zebrowski]

This is gonna see really humiliating. If they did this to him too. They'd measure all the penises.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Yeah. Second penis, 1.49 inches long. And the third penis is 1.45 inches long. So you put them together. It's nice.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah. All together. That's one penis.

[Alaska Thunderfuck 5000]

Harder. Soft measurement.

[Marcus Parks]

It's gonna be soft because he's dead.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Well, rigamortis.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Hey, I. If I was them, I'd pull it as long as I could.

[Alaska Thunderfuck 5000]

Pull it.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Yeah.

[Alaska Thunderfuck 5000]

Measure from the tank.

[Eddie Pepitone]

When I'm dead and you're measuring my dead penis, please pull it.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Nobody measures. I measure mine from the bottom of my pocket. Yeah, yeah. That's what I do. I do a whole thing. It's a whole presentation.

[Eddie Pepitone]

It's a whole.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I put together stats.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

This is. But like, what's the weirdest penis you've ever seen? That's the order for this?

[Eddie Pepitone]

Yep.

[Henry Zebrowski]

That's the weirdest piece you've ever seen.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Why not? I'm trying to think.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Have you ever been to a place called Epstein Island?

[Alaska Thunderfuck 5000]

Actually, I haven't been on it, but I was really near it like recently.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Oh, do you go on like the sister island? The one that's the neighbor island?

[Eddie Pepitone]

St. John St. Thomas. The right place.

[Alaska Thunderfuck 5000]

St. Thomas. My mom was like, my friend has a place in St. Thomas. So I'm going. Do you want to go? And I was like, yeah. So I went with my mom. And literally out there, the back, like, patio there. It was actual Epstein Ass island was, like, right there.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Like, you could have rowboated to it.

[Alaska Thunderfuck 5000]

Yes.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Jet ski is what they use, right?

[Alaska Thunderfuck 5000]

They've, like, revamped it. They've tried to make. They took, like, the gold thing, like, the blue and white thing. They've like, painted it just. Just like, beige. And they took the gold, like, satanic pyramid off. And so they're like, maybe no one will know. Is the.

[Henry Zebrowski]

There is.

[Alaska Thunderfuck 5000]

It was really scary.

[Henry Zebrowski]

The project of you jet skiing to Epstein island from St. Thomas is a long time. I have to push this. I have to pitch this to you and to a group of producers. We have got to do an island adventure. We've got to go.

[Marcus Parks]

You could be the first drag queen to ever go to Epstein Island.

[Rob]

No.

[Alaska Thunderfuck 5000]

And I won't eat. I won't.

[Henry Zebrowski]

But that's the problem now. Man walking around with three penises, he can't tell anybody. And he doesn't know. And, you know, he's just some weird man. You know, he's just some gross, weird old British man who's like, oh, tops and toddlers.

[Eddie Pepitone]

You know, like, he was kind enough to donate his body to science knowing that he had three. Three cocks.

[Alaska Thunderfuck 5000]

I mean, donated three dicks. He didn't even know, though. He probably literally never. I wouldn't know if I had three dicks in my balls.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah, in my balls.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Just. His balls hurt his whole life. They. Apparently he had lots of. He had a. A hernia, too, in his body.

[Henry Zebrowski]

It was his third dick getting hard. That's what it is. It's this little tiny dick responding to everything on the inside. It's probably the one making all the bad decisions, right?

[Alaska Thunderfuck 5000]

Indoor dick, outdoor dick.

[Henry Zebrowski]

My. If I had an indoor dick, that he would be. Because my outdoor dick is already filled with horrific thoughts and just horrible energy. And the. The little penis behind him. Can you imagine the Stephen Miller, like, the evil. The Dick Cheney of your main penis is in your other balls.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Give it a, Vance. All right. Right, so I gotta ask this question. We were talking about this on the last. On the last episode of Side Stories. I need your opinion as a fashion icon.

[Alaska Thunderfuck 5000]

Okay.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Handlebar mustache. Where do you. Where do you lie?

[Alaska Thunderfuck 5000]

Love it.

[Eddie Pepitone]

You love it.

[Alaska Thunderfuck 5000]

Fierce.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Really fashionable.

[Eddie Pepitone]

We were very against.

[Alaska Thunderfuck 5000]

Very, like, very, like, pride like, 70s, kind of.

[Henry Zebrowski]

This lady was telling us a story because we. Because what I said. I appreciate men that have handlebar mustaches because I've also had difficult man facial hair before. And I find it takes to. From my perspective, it's a guy that has put a handlebar mustache in order to sort of, like, be like, hey, hit me. Hey, someone come punch me. You know, I mean, like, oh, someone come. Everybody gather around. Doesn't anybody want to hit me? And I now realize, like, that's not true, because I got a lot of messages from women that have said that, specifically the handlebar that makes them feel safe. And then also, one woman was saying that she was riding a man with a handlebar mustache, and she said that it was the only time she's ever been asked to grab the bars of the mustache, the handlebars, and pull them while she was fucking him, which I'm not. Have you ever done that?

[Alaska Thunderfuck 5000]

I can honestly say I've never done that.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Right?

[Alaska Thunderfuck 5000]

No. See, okay. See, I never thought of. I never thought of it that way. Is that why it's called handlebar?

[Eddie Pepitone]

I guess so.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I don't think it's supposed to be. I don't think your lip is that strong.

[Marcus Parks]

But does the handlebar mustache have different connotations in the gay and straight communities?

[Alaska Thunderfuck 5000]

Absolutely.

[Marcus Parks]

So that. Yeah, because, like, a straight guy with a handlebar mustache, that's like a whole different story.

[Henry Zebrowski]

That's what I'm talking about.

[Alaska Thunderfuck 5000]

Like, yeah, like, I'm vintage. It's, like, very cute.

[Marcus Parks]

He's fun.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah. You were talking about IPA salesmen.

[Eddie Pepitone]

It's different type of leather work.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah. I'm talking about a guy and a lot of, like, what do you know? They got those.

[Eddie Pepitone]

The. The.

[Alaska Thunderfuck 5000]

The.

[Henry Zebrowski]

The light bulbs with just sort of the copper wir.

[Alaska Thunderfuck 5000]

Bottom. Huh? Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Edison again, A gastropub.

[Alaska Thunderfuck 5000]

Yes, Very, very much. Yeah.

[Eddie Pepitone]

A top with a handlebar mustache. Useless.

[Alaska Thunderfuck 5000]

Totally useless.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Useless. What are you doing with it up there?

[Henry Zebrowski]

I don't know. She said the main problem was. She said that where she started to kind of, like, get out of it was, like, the snap of it. She said that when she took it in, the, like, the snap of the. The product in his little tips, that kind of bumped her out of the whole experience.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Oh, man. I wonder if it gets really cold if it's. Could snap off.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, it can.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Wow.

[Alaska Thunderfuck 5000]

That's how you get gum out of hair.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Oh, cold.

[Alaska Thunderfuck 5000]

Yeah, you freeze it.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Oh, no.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Really?

[Marcus Parks]

Or you.

[Alaska Thunderfuck 5000]

You freeze it and then you beat it with a hammer or you Put peanut butter on it.

[Marcus Parks]

You're thinking of a Simpsons episode.

[Alaska Thunderfuck 5000]

Don't try getting it out with a bone. It only gets worse.

[Marcus Parks]

You think of 22 shorts, films about spirit.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Springfield dip.

[Alaska Thunderfuck 5000]

Is it so. Wait, a handlebar. That's a handlebar mustache. I was thinking of this.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Oh, the Fu Manchu.

[Alaska Thunderfuck 5000]

I was thinking of a totally different thing.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah, you're thinking of a more masculine shoe.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Is awesome.

[Alaska Thunderfuck 5000]

Is awesome and fierce. See, I was thinking of the wrong thing.

[Henry Zebrowski]

See, I was saying to replace the handlebar with the Fu Manchu if you

[Alaska Thunderfuck 5000]

have to put wax and. No, I don't. I don't care. No, I. I don't want to die.

[Henry Zebrowski]

The horseshoe.

[Eddie Pepitone]

The horseshoe.

[Henry Zebrowski]

That's just people wanting. I understand. Fu Manchu does. It is not societally correct anymore.

[Alaska Thunderfuck 5000]

Foo. Woman chew.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Thank you.

[Rob]

More.

[Alaska Thunderfuck 5000]

You know, it's like, attached, but, like, a handlebar has the, like, doopsy doopsy do.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah, and I had that. I did the. These mustaches connected to the sideburns for a while, but I was trying to be unfuckable. Yeah, like, that was the thing. I was trying to. I didn't want the attention of women at the time because I thought the imperial. I had the imperial, and I thought. Thought that was really cool for a while, and I didn't care what happened. But you know what's funny? That's how I end up with my ex girlfriend.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Yeah, that's you. That was your confederate reenactor face.

[Henry Zebrowski]

It's just because I'm a queen's boy, and I just want to feel what it's like to be a rebel. Never got to be.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Well, it was. This was wonderful. Thank you so much, Alaska, for coming.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Make sure you toss the song.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Listen to Rebel revolution by Alaska Thunderfuck 5000. It's unbelievable. It's on Spotify, Apple Music. Add it to all your summer playlists. It's fucking awesome. It's all about serving and starting a goddamn revolution. We need to do.

[Alaska Thunderfuck 5000]

Yes, we do.

[Marcus Parks]

And you get any shows coming up?

[Alaska Thunderfuck 5000]

Yes, like a hundred. Because it's June, and in June, it is Christmas, and I am Santa Claus, so I'm going everywhere.

[Eddie Pepitone]

That's October for us.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yes, that's our October time. So what is your like? Is there a good place for people to see, like, we're all.

[Alaska Thunderfuck 5000]

Your dates are my website, alaskathunderfuck.com, where you can also get this. This exciting hat.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Please buy the hat.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I'm gonna buy.

[Alaska Thunderfuck 5000]

Get that hat.

[Eddie Pepitone]

As a. As a pothead, I have to ask, what happened to Alaska Thunder? The Marijuana. It's gone.

[Alaska Thunderfuck 5000]

It's still out there. You can find it.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Okay, good.

[Alaska Thunderfuck 5000]

Sometimes people gift it to me and then my fiance smokes. It's great.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Okay, good.

[Alaska Thunderfuck 5000]

It does exist.

[Eddie Pepitone]

All right. All right. Because we were in Alaska recently at a weed store and I was screaming about it and then they were like, it doesn't make it anymore. No one makes it anymore.

[Alaska Thunderfuck 5000]

Damn. It does exist. And they make vapes of it too.

[Eddie Pepitone]

They've seen this. Well, thank you so much for coming by.

[Alaska Thunderfuck 5000]

Seriously, though, a delight.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Yeah, seriously.

[Henry Zebrowski]

This is awesome.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Thank you.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Happy pride, y'.

[Rob]

All.

[Eddie Pepitone]

From your grave.

[Henry Zebrowski]

God, it feels good to like know somebody who knows something else about. Something else than what we know about.

[Eddie Pepitone]

I feel slightly cooler now. I admit. I do feel cooler now than I did this morning.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I'm trying to figure out how to be more approachable to the alt scenes.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Yeah. Do you think today worked? No. It was nice having Marcus in here.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Honestly, it was really nice. And we have a special guest.

[Eddie Pepitone]

As far as I'm concerned.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Marcus is a huge fan of Alaska and it was just great to have. I'm glad that they're super quick witted it. I love like all. You know, I love it because you know what I feel like in drag that's like the last bastion of like the triple threat. Yeah. You know, like old school, real showbiz. Like look at Jinx Monsoon. Jinx Monsoon's winning, like Tony's and like James Monsoon's Judy Garland right now.

[Eddie Pepitone]

I went and saw o' Mary with Jinx. It was incredible.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I know, it's like, that's amazing. It's like one of those things I love seeing like that was like you got to do a lot of.

[Eddie Pepitone]

It's mainstream now. It's very cool.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah, I love it.

[Eddie Pepitone]

It's very awesome. It's. It's full on mainstream now and I love it and I'm about it. And please keep dressing up and doing crazy, you know, keep it going forever.

[Henry Zebrowski]

We have to. Because it's a part of the human need to express themselves. And I just think that it is just beautiful and I'll. Oh, and I want to remind everybody, there is not a single drag queen on the Epstein list.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Not even one.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Not even one.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Not even one.

[Henry Zebrowski]

No. It's just a bunch of guys with a lot of money. Makes you a pedophile.

[Rob]

Yeah.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Interesting why that is. Well, guess what, folks, we're on the road. But we got London, Ontario coming up. Sold out.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Sold out. Can't wait to be there and see you and go to the patreon.com left and you can listen to all the episodes ad free. You can also see last stream on the left live every Tuesday, 5pm PST. Can you also check out our new Brighter Side YouTube channel, the Brighter Side LPN.

[Eddie Pepitone]

That's YouTube.com/at the Brighter Side LPN and

[Henry Zebrowski]

go to LPN TV to watch our the conclusion in the entire series of HDX2 HGX2.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Who will live, who will die, who will live in nothing forever. Is LD cool? Are they bad? We don't know.

[Henry Zebrowski]

We don't know.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Also go. We have. Nerd of Mouth has a new YouTube channel. Yeah, it's. It's a Nerd of Mouth podcast. So it's YouTube.com nerd of mouth podcast. If we are testing the limits of the YouTube camera, will it be able to handle Mike Lawrence, Jake young and Holden McNeely's vision of them?

[Henry Zebrowski]

Wait, that's the thing? That's what you nerds are gonna have to sit with, man.

[Eddie Pepitone]

I'm so like. Honestly, it's like you're gonna watch that show. You're like, Ed and Henry are like attractive.

[Henry Zebrowski]

But that's why, man, we get you used to it. People will come on in. The water is fine. Go to LP on the left for all your Instagram needs and go to. Yeah, go to LastPodcastLeft.com buy tickets to see us left.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Yeah, man. EddieTunes.com to see me do stand up, go check out my Instagram. Of course, I'm Eddie Tunes on Instagram. To see where I'm coming, I just put a brand new tour poster up. So check that out. See if I'm coming to a city near you and go and comment. Tell me where I should should go after this. Seems like Nashville and Baltimore. Very hungry for it. But yeah, well, I can't wait. I'm having a great time on the road. And then Henry's actually going to be joining me for my two LA shows that are on there, so. Oh yeah, come check us out. It's gonna be a blast.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah, we're gonna have a good time. All right, see you.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Yeah, Kel's hitting hell, you know what hell. Alaska Thunderfuck 5000. What a goddamn delay.

[Henry Zebrowski]

What are doing?

[Eddie Pepitone]

I feel great.

[Henry Zebrowski]

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[Guest or Additional Speaker]

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