Side Stories: Double Bread with Ground Beef

Summary

Last Podcast on the Left: Side Stories – “Double Bread with Ground Beef”

Episode Date: September 18, 2025
Hosts: Henry Zebrowski & Ed Larson

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Main Theme

This wild and irreverent episode of “Side Stories” barrels through a chaos-soaked news week—marked by high-profile assassinations, media scandals, grim true-crime tales, absurd world news, and the duo’s signature brand of dark comedy. Amidst the existential doom-scroll, the hosts celebrate personal milestones and plug Henry's upcoming DIY UFO movie project, all while gleefully dissecting everything from the death of Charlie Kirk to weird North Korean food laws, bizarre crimes, animal news, and nostalgia for dead rock stars.

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Key Discussion Points & Notable Segments

1. The Surreal News Cycle (03:07–06:44)

• Overview of the news week, murder of Charlie Kirk, general social chaos, and desensitization:
  • Henry welcomes listeners, noting the week's overload of insane news. “Every other criminal...is celebrating this week because no one's paying attention to them.” (03:11 – Henry)
  • Confirmation of Charlie Kirk's death, Tyler Robinson’s arrest, and ongoing speculation about “troll-on-troll crime.”
  • “It’s pretty clear. There's been four major assassinations since December.” (04:21 – Eddie)
  • The hosts riff on how nobody notices much anymore: “Robert Redford, the greatest actor of all time, dies. Nobody gives a shit.” (05:38 – Eddie)
  • Satirical discussion of the 9/11 anniversary overshadowed by recent events, and jokes about Trump’s lethargy at ceremonies.

2. Lefty Cucks & Political Satire (01:49, 06:39)

• Recurring bit about the fictional “Lefty Cucks” restaurant, representing over-the-top political satire.
  • “Everybody buys food and the person that bought the most food has to share the most of his food... I love Lefty Cucks.” (02:12 – Henry)

3. Henry’s UFO Movie Kickstarter (08:12–11:03, 57:22–57:44)

• Major plug for Henry’s crowdfunded film: “Unbelievably Friendly Organisms” (ufo.movie).
  • Acknowledging the challenges of non-mainstream content in a dying media industry: “Old media might be dead or dying and it’s bad out there... gotta make it ourselves.” (08:36 – Henry)
  • Details: co-written with Kevin Glees, starring Amber Nash (Archer) and Jenna Hayes, about “a man that gets pregnant.”
  • “It’s the truly the most accurate UFO movie ever.” (09:09 – Henry)
  • Kickstarter perks teased: watchalongs, interviews, unique prizes.

4. Bizarre True Crime: Epstein & DeForvid Cases

a) Jeffrey Epstein, Ghislaine Maxwell, and Buried Bombshells (12:10–20:30)

• Rundown of the Bloomberg exposé on Ghislaine Maxwell’s 18,000 emails, unreported on 9/11.
• Epstein’s infamous 50th birthday party “book” with cryptic contributions and deeply weird artwork from associates (Trump’s creepy drawings highlighted).
  • “This birthday book had more drawings of tits by billionaires than I have ever seen.” (18:00 – Henry)
  • Call for listeners familiar with science to decode possible Easter eggs in physicist contributions to the book.
• Dark reflection on how normalized elite depravity becomes news white noise.

b) The DeForvid Tesla Murder (36:51–42:20)

• Up-and-coming “not talented” face-tatted singer DeForvid (aka “David”).
  • Tesla found impounded with a dismembered teenage girlfriend (Celeste Rivas, age 15) long missing—suspected connection to DeForvid (matching “shush” tattoos, songs, inside circle rumors).
  • “It's another example of someone that commits crimes and continues to be successful in this country...he is just rolling on with no form of accountability.” (41:43 – Henry)
  • Hosts riff on tattoo culture, age of consent, and the bizarre personality cults of social media influencers.

5. Global Absurdities & Dark Humor

a) North Korean Food Law Nonsense (28:26–33:06)

• Kim Jong Un bans “hamburger,” “ice cream,” and “karaoke” as too Western—substituting “double bread with ground beef”.
  • “Double bread with ground beef is the dumbest name for something I’ve ever heard.” (29:13 – Henry)
  • The hosts lampoon regime absurdity and riff on Sim City for dictators.

b) Theme Park Tragedies (33:18–36:34)

• The first death at Universal’s Epic Universe, discussion of fatal roller coaster rides, and satirical ideas for dying in theme parks.
  • “If you could die on any theme park ride, what would you pick?...It's a small world after all.” (35:56 – Henry & Eddie)

c) Nursing Home Fatality (43:07–47:47)

• News read: 95-year-old woman bludgeons 89-year-old Holocaust survivor with her own wheelchair's chunk.
  • “What could drive a like 114 pound 95, 95 woman to crush someone's head?” (44:08 – Henry)
  • Gallows humor about motives, dementia, and justice for the elderly.

6. The Disney $20,000 Scuba Robbery (48:27–51:22)

• Man in full scuba gear swims through retention pond, robs Paddlefish restaurant, escapes via river.
  • “Swam into it, walked in full scuba gear, flippers and everything. Tied them up. Tied up all the people and robbed.” (49:23 – Henry)
  • Segue into ‘90s movie references and spoofing getaway tactics.

7. Culture, Movies & Nostalgia (57:02–61:36)

• Movie Corner: Ed celebrates seeing old friend “Miss Kitty” cameo in Darren Aronofsky’s new film “Caught Stealing."
  • “Miss Kitty is like one of these ladies who's never left the East Village... She banged Jimi Hendrix.” (60:02–60:10 – Eddie)
• Plug for Paul Thomas Anderson’s and other directors’ upcoming gritty crime films.
• Riffs on punk vs. metal music deep-dive (62:17–63:07), Iron Maiden trivia, and youth heartbreak.

8. Weird Science, Amputee Fetishism & Listener Letters (63:28–66:44)

• Updates on the story about the doctor who became an amputee for sexual reasons.
  • Explored concepts of “zone body rubbing” and Body Identity Integrity Disorder (BIID).
• Listener letter: “One of my coworkers is also a double amputee... dating as an amputee is hard because of that fetish.” (64:58 – Listener letter read by Henry)
• Medical history: Grandfather’s tale of saving a man by massaging his lung and heart during surgery.

9. Animal News Oddities & Science Corner (53:01–56:34)

• Zoo lion kills zookeeper ("charge extra for that"), update on French orcas being manually serviced to prevent inbreeding.
• Dodo birds being resurrected in 5–7 years, leading to predictions of mass dodo accidents (“they're just gonna run into traffic...they’re going to stop a bullet train”). (55:26–55:49 – Henry)

10. Podcast Anniversaries & Live Shows (11:30–12:05, 70:11–71:00)

• Eddie celebrates two years as a Side Stories co-host.
• Plugs upcoming standup shows and Side Stories live podcast events. “This is our first repeat show together. This is the first time we're ever coming back to somewhere. That's how much fun we had.” (70:36 – Eddie)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On the flood of news: “Every other criminal...is celebrating this week because no one's paying attention to them.” (03:11 – Henry)
• On Charlie Kirk: “Robert Redford, the greatest actor of all time, dies. Nobody gives a shit. Charlie Kirk stole 9/11.” (05:38 – Eddie)
• On Lefty Cucks: “Everybody buys food and the person that bought the most food has to share the most of his food... I love Lefty Cucks.” (02:12 – Henry)
• On Henry's movie: “We're pushing this out the old-fashioned way because guess what, I don’t know if you’ve noticed in the last couple days, old media might be dead or dying and it’s bad out there.” (08:36 – Henry)
• On Epstein's circle: “This birthday book had more drawings of tits by billionaires than I have ever seen.” (18:00 – Henry)
• On DeForvid's crime: “It's another example of someone that commits crimes and continues to be successful in this country.” (41:43 – Henry)
• On North Korean hamburgers: “Double bread with ground beef is the dumbest name for something I’ve ever heard.” (29:13 – Henry)
• On zookeepers and lions: “Zookeeper killed by lions in front of everyone at the zoo, which is hilarious. Charge extra for that.” (53:07 – Henry & Eddie)
• On the dodo's fate: “We're going to be covered in dodos. They're going to just go. They're going to bring down...a plane.” (55:26–55:49 – Henry)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• [03:07] Overloaded news week, Kirk assassination, nobody notices big news
• [08:12] Henry’s UFO movie Kickstarter launch and pitch
• [12:10] Bombshell Epstein & Ghislaine Maxwell email story, birthday book
• [28:26] Kim Jong Un bans hamburger, ice cream, karaoke
• [33:18] Epic Universe theme park death
• [36:51] The DeForvid Tesla murder scandal
• [43:07] Nursing home wheelchair murder
• [48:27] Disney Springs $20K scuba gear burglary
• [53:01] Zookeeper/lion fatality, French orca news, dodo resurrection
• [57:02] Movie talk: Miss Kitty cameo, Caught Stealing, new PTA film
• [62:17] Metal vs. punk audience musings
• [63:28] Amputee doctor story and BIID explanation
• [70:11] Show plugs, live performances
• [71:43] Guar interview plug, YouTube presence, more listener outreach

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Tone and Style

The tone throughout is irreverent, darkly humorous, and deeply sardonic—with both hosts frequently tangling satire and gallows humor around genuinely disturbing news and their own tangents. The episode’s style is conversational and loose, weaving personal stories and plugs amid riffing on terrifying and hilarious headlines alike.

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Conclusion

This “Side Stories” episode is a wild ride through the apocalyptic news landscape, loaded with in-jokes, satirical restaurant skits, true crime analysis, and meta-commentary on the state of society. The approach is as much comedic coping mechanism as it is infotainment: a collection of oddities shared by hosts who pride themselves on finding laughs at the end of the abyss. If you're tuning in expecting order and decorum, you’ve come to the wrong simulation.

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For more, visit:

• ufo.movie (Henry’s Kickstarter)
• eddytunes.com (Eddie's standup dates)
• Their YouTube channel for interviews and bonus content

Transcript

[Narrator]

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[Henry Zabrowski]

There's no place to escape to.

[Eddie]

This is the last on the left side stories.

[Henry Zabrowski]

That's when the cannibalism started. Side stories. Yes. The needle fills the ho.

[Eddie]

The old.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Familiar stain won't wish it all away But I remember everything. It's dude's day.

[Eddie]

I hurt myself Today I'll be cash. You'll be resident.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Oh, sure. Hey, Ed. So yesterday it was amazing. I went to my favorite antifa restaurant. Have you ever been to Lefty Cucks?

[Eddie]

Oh. Oh, no, I never been to Lefty.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I went to Lefty Cox yesterday.

[Eddie]

How was it?

[Henry Zabrowski]

It was great. They were all applauding me for getting on the right wing hate list. They were super happy with I got a discount, which honestly was really nice. So good and.

[Eddie]

But I heard you have to eat everything with your just lips first.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Well, yes. And then everybody kiss it first.

[Eddie]

But you kiss my burger.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Everybody buys food and the person that bought the most food has to share the most of his food. Yes, it's a great place, but I.

[Eddie]

Bought food for someone else and then they kicked me in the nuts.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yes, I love that about that place. I love Lifty Cucks. But one of the very funny things I had, you know those, like. They have those, like, fortune bullets. And the engraving on mine was so cute. It just said, trust the process. And I was just so, like, I was just so. I was like. I needed to hear this.

[Eddie]

Exactly, man. Because you know what else happened this week that I'm losing my mind about?

[Henry Zabrowski]

What happened?

[Eddie]

Dan Marino has liver disease.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah, I heard.

[Eddie]

You believe this?

[Henry Zabrowski]

Not enough beer. Itis.

[Eddie]

This just in? Yep. His liver's fat.

[Henry Zabrowski]

All right. So welcome to side Stories. My name is Henry Sproi. I'm sitting here with Ed Larson. There's far too much news this week.

[Eddie]

There is entirely too much news. It's one huge story, but much better, smaller stories.

[Henry Zabrowski]

So I think that the best part about this week, the thing that really, I mean, the thing that people can truly celebrate this week, who is actually celebrating this week is every other criminal that's ever done anything.

[Eddie]

Yes.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Because no one's paying attention to them.

[Eddie]

It's really good for them.

[Henry Zabrowski]

And so we're just going to come out real quick and say, yes, Charlie Kirk is dead. We're not going to talk about it a heck of a lot because there's not a lot of information out there.

[Eddie]

It's still very much developing. We don't know much about anything.

[Henry Zabrowski]

It's developing. We now know that this is some form of troll on troll crime. We know that Tyler Robinson is now, we know that he's nothing.

[Eddie]

He's arrested.

[Henry Zabrowski]

We know he's arrested. We know there's a lot of evidence that points towards the fact that he definitely did it. But we don't know. Obviously we're going to wait to. He goes through the whole trial, but.

[Eddie]

Do you think he's going to do in a rain dance?

[Henry Zabrowski]

I think. But we now know. Yes. That Tyler Robinson wasn't anything.

[Eddie]

Yes.

[Henry Zabrowski]

He was just some guy shot Charlie Kirk because he was there. And if the rifle was pointed pretty much in a manner of feet in any other direction, we wouldn't be talking about it anymore.

[Eddie]

It's pretty clear. There's been four major assassinations since December.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Oh, dude. That day there was a shooting at an elementary school.

[Eddie]

Yes.

[Henry Zabrowski]

And there was another shooting in Oakland. Oh, yes. It's been going on all week. There's been about.

[Eddie]

Somebody was lynched, of course.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Oh, yes.

[Eddie]

Yes.

[Henry Zabrowski]

So there's a lot of stuff going on. And now we see that Jimmy Kimmel got fired. For very light commentary upon this.

[Eddie]

I'll tell you one thing that's good. Fallon canceled his gig tonight.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Finally some good news. There's some good news.

[Eddie]

So. But he was too drunk to perform.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Love that fucking guy, man. So we're just gonna move on. And I think that.

[Eddie]

Well, just like they are, Erica Kirk's taking over Tapusa.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Oh, Tapusa. She loves Tapusa. And Erica Kirk. Oh, wow. I can't even say. I can't say anything.

[Eddie]

No. But that's true.

[Henry Zabrowski]

So funny. I was just about to try to make a joke about this and I know for a fact that the joke that I was gonna make is going to sandbag in our ent. It's just the power I have right now is both aggravating the lack of power and since. Yes. Deep, deep lack of power. It's a deep, deep lack of power. So I don't know what to say. I was just about to say something.

[Eddie]

Robert Redford, the greatest actor of all time, dies.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Nobody gives a shit.

[Eddie]

Nobody gives a. Charlie Kirk stole 911.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yes, I had. My Mac and cheese was in the oven. Do you have any idea what it's like to start? I am beginning the Turnaround. We're making 911 happy. I don't care what anybody says.

[Eddie]

I mean, I mean, this is the official, like, who gives a shit anymore here?

[Henry Zabrowski]

It's time to.

[Eddie]

No one cared. It was barely in the news.

[Henry Zabrowski]

It just.

[Eddie]

You saw teams were not doing their tributes.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Trump took a nap during the ceremony. Do we remember that? When Trump had an active stroke during the 911 ceremony. Just. He just let his right side sleep, which I think is good. His right side really just needed some food, some rest.

[Eddie]

Pope John Paul's nap.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah, he just let that lower lip slide.

[Eddie]

Pope Napoleon.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah, so he. So, yeah, so now. But yeah, again, I had all my hors d' oeuvre set up. My building. Building seven. Fondue.

[Eddie]

Oh, my God. My. My ashtray was ready.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Everything was ready.

[Eddie]

Two tower joints that were ready, dude. Yeah. And then it just seemed. I just looked at him, I'm like, I don't want to smoke these today.

[Henry Zabrowski]

And Lefty Cucks was bringing a whole thing of no food to my house. Yes.

[Eddie]

Oh, Lefty. I mean, Lefty Cucks was great because they had their Iraqi flag up.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yes.

[Eddie]

You know, and they had their Afghanistan flag.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah.

[Eddie]

And I was having a great time. Oh, yeah, dude.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Isis, Joe and me loving life.

[Eddie]

They're. I. I love the. The. I love the slogan, return into nices.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah. Someone has to. And I think this is a really good rebranding.

[Eddie]

Today we're serving Italian isis. I just had that cuz I was in New York.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah, I know.

[Eddie]

I saw.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I know you saw. You put us. Because you started all the conspiracy theories that we were already shut down.

[Eddie]

Oh, yeah, it was. We didn't even talk about it. I was like, you're shut down. It's like, no, my Internet just didn't work in the shitty apartment I was staying at. No offense, Robbie, but the bathroom sink is in the kitchen.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Sorry, Robbie, but that's a true. That is a cult. A New York millionaires lifestyle. I. I will say that I. That hate list all week, they took it down, right? They took that. They Put that there with. I was listed as like a left wing list me. Nope, not popular enough.

[Eddie]

Come on, people. Eddy. Dudes.com.

[Henry Zabrowski]

It'S just so funny that I'm the one. Like, I am. I am the one. And so I've been getting harassed all week.

[Eddie]

You put the ass in harassment.

[Henry Zabrowski]

No, they are.

[Eddie]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

They're putting the ass in harassment. I'm the ass.

[Eddie]

You, dude.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I know.

[Eddie]

I'll grab at you.

[Henry Zabrowski]

You already have. Okay. Is that I've been getting harassed. All I'm getting, it just like it's. It's for real out there. So that's why I think it's super important to transition to what's really the most important story of this whole week.

[Eddie]

Absolutely the most important thing. There's huge news coming out. This is the biggest news. And we want to talk about this now while we know everyone's still listening.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yes. My movie is coming out and I'm doing a Kickstarter for it. You're going to want to go to ufo.movie. that is where you can get all the Kickstarter information for Henry Zabrowski's new film, Unbelievably Friendly Organisms. I have written the story for this. Co wrote this with Kevin Glees, who is the main screenwriter who wrote how to Ruin the Holidays. We've worked together on this project for a while now. We are pushing this out the old fashioned way because guess what, I don't know if you've noticed in the last couple days, old media might be dead or dying and it's bad out there. So it's really hard to make something that might be slightly not what we say down the pipe. Right. So we got to make it ourselves. So I am asking for your support as my listenership to go help me make the movie that I want to make.

[Eddie]

Yes.

[Henry Zabrowski]

And it's the truly the most accurate UFO movie ever.

[Eddie]

Did you even try and pitch this? Or you're like, nobody wants this.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I decided nobody was going to want it.

[Eddie]

Yeah, I think I would agree with that a little bit. You've told me about it. It seems like no one's going to make this but you.

[Henry Zabrowski]

It's about a man that gets pregnant.

[Eddie]

Yes.

[Henry Zabrowski]

It's literally like I could just say that straight up. It's about a man that gets pregnant.

[Eddie]

Junior too.

[Henry Zabrowski]

It's essentially that. And it's with. With the absolutely wonderful Amber Nash. That was an archer, an amazing improv, and Jenna Hayes, the adult film icon who now we did an interview with. And she's awesome. Yeah, she's a therapist.

[Eddie]

Cool as hell.

[Henry Zabrowski]

She's a therapist. She lives down the street. She smokes hello weed and she is a lot of trouble.

[Eddie]

Hell yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

And we just don't want to be anywhere near her, do we, Rob? We don't want her in the Nero hang out with. We all do.

[Eddie]

Yeah. She seems very cool.

[Henry Zabrowski]

She's the coolest person in the world already.

[Eddie]

I feel like she's like the one adult film actress I could bring around. My wife.

[Henry Zabrowski]

She's legitimately just cool and she's working with people that are now out of the industry and she's working with people. A lot of women. She does. So she's deep into. She's getting her. She got her master's, she's getting her PhD. She's brilliant. Yeah, so we are. But I just want to say. So this is the truly the most important story of the week.

[Eddie]

Yes.

[Henry Zabrowski]

And so if you want Lefty Cucks to be able to add that non smoking outside area, come on out to Lefty. You are going to need to help support UFO the movie because. Yeah, because that's what we're going to. That's where the after party is.

[Eddie]

Open your ass at Lefty.

[Henry Zabrowski]

And there's a lot of prizes in our Kickstarter. We're going to have interviews. We're going to be doing a watch along with me. You're going to own the movie. There's so many things to do and you are going to love. Have you ever had a Rocky deviled eggs? No. Yes. They're iguana eggs. Oh, man. Yes. And they. Wow. Lefty Cucks is knocking out.

[Eddie]

Man, I hope I get the balls one day to go to Righty Cox.

[Henry Zabrowski]

It's all me. It's all me. It's a bunch of meat we put up your ass. Yeah, man. You want trt? Good snort for me.

[Eddie]

God, I hate turkeys.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah, just cows, pigs. Shot in the face with my own ass. I kill with tits. So we have a lot.

[Eddie]

You know, I've been on the podcast for two years. This week.

[Henry Zabrowski]

This week.

[Eddie]

This week. I know.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Time has really flown. I have just. There's too much. Isn't that nice?

[Eddie]

But it is nice.

[Henry Zabrowski]

No, I'm actually really sad that you even said it because I wish that we had prepared for it or we had. We had a way to sort of acknowledge it outside of cake later.

[Eddie]

Yeah, no, we're on the road this weekend. Get me a cake to bring on stage or something.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I'll get you something. Got you something.

[Eddie]

I two beers on the podcast, my friend.

[Henry Zabrowski]

That's what he likes. Two years on the podcast and we are still discussing Jeffrey Epstein.

[Eddie]

Yes. Can I. Are you want to get into this right now?

[Henry Zabrowski]

I just want to say that this is one of the big stories that has been buried. That at first when I know that I've ruined Ed. When for the two years now. Now that it makes a lot of sense that you've been on the show for two years. When the news first hit with. With what's his name. I'm even sick of saying his name. Honestly, I don't want to think about him anymore. Captain Kirk. Yes. When Captain Kirk died, we sat and you woke me up to texts of your descent in the conspiracy theories behind it. And I was up all night researching all the conspiracy theories of it. And I know that I was just like. That's like one of the worst things about all this rational information that came flooding out about.

[Eddie]

I can't believe anyone. If anything.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I know because I can't know. Yeah. Incredible.

[Eddie]

Source says complet different things. There's like no way to know what's actually going on right now.

[Henry Zabrowski]

We're gonna have our YouTuber FBI Director Cash Patel tell us anything. Like we're gonna believe a single word out of his mouth. That's why he's in there. He's in there.

[Eddie]

Money dude. And they're making it, man.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Dude. Absolutely. He's do. He is getting that. You don't need to create a smokescreen if the guy is just a smokescreen. Yeah. So this guy.

[Eddie]

Hell yeah. You want to deposit me.

[Henry Zabrowski]

But a rich casting's great. Money. Well, I don't like that you gave him a good nickname. I don't like you giving him a fun nickname. Cash.

[Eddie]

Honey.

[Henry Zabrowski]

That's cute.

[Eddie]

Cash bunny.

[Henry Zabrowski]

All of it's too cute. Cash bad bunny. I just think it's all too cute. I think it should be no Crash. All credit.

[Eddie]

He's pretty good. Yeah, I like that. All right. No Cash. All credit. Credit. Patel.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Thank. Yes.

[Eddie]

Well, cute. Yeah. Layaway. Patel.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Let me finish this. So I have this. Let me just finish this thought and then we. We go. Go. So many other jokes we can hit. So many other verbal jokes we can. So what was I saying?

[Eddie]

Epstein Birthday party.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yes.

[Eddie]

A lot of fun birthday party.

[Henry Zabrowski]

So my original thoughts behind all this was like I jumped to the most extreme view was that this is a smokescreen to hide the fact that on 911 that day, an article on Bloomberg came out going through all of Gills Lane Maxwell's email. Something like 18,000 emails. It was this gigantic investigative report that was the first layer that came out that said all of this stuff about essentially the words that Jeffrey Epstein said to cut Trump out of my dossier.

[Eddie]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Like you got the actual words of Jeffrey Epstein to Ghislaine Maxwell. We also now know that Ghislaine Maxwell and Jeffrey Epstein's relationship was far more intricate and went on far longer than she said it did.

[Eddie]

How is it more intricate?

[Henry Zabrowski]

Because she's in prison for it. Because she. For a long time, the big thing has been Jeffrey did this all on his own. I was never his girlfriend. I was just a. I did property management for his thing. We had a falling out, blah, blah, blah. Where now when you look at the emails, you see that she was deeply involved in his rollout during his original child prostitution. Like all of those charges that he got in 2006, I believe. Yes. So when he got all those charges, Ghislaine was helping him walk through it, and he got to Jeffrey Epstein, got to name his charges. He said, what sounds better to you, Ludin? Lascivious behavior or solicitation of a minor for sexual activity? And she was like, I actually think Ludensvi behavior actually sounds kind of better. Of course it does. She did.

[Eddie]

That's an easy question.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yes. So she did stuff like this. So they were in lockstep. She. She was a part of all the COVID ups. She offered. She bought gifts for Alan Dershowitz. They bought gifts for Leslie Wexler. He loves.

[Eddie]

He loves gifts.

[Henry Zabrowski]

And long, dark socks.

[Eddie]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

If you can still be horn. Right. If you could still be horning in long, dark socks, you're a murderer.

[Eddie]

Right.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah. Unless they're compression socks.

[Eddie]

Yeah. You got this. Help keep it up.

[Henry Zabrowski]

That's different. It's different. But. So that's one layer of all this, which is. We see all of this evidence.

[Eddie]

Leslie Wexler, Victoria's Secret.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yes.

[Eddie]

You know what Victoria's Secret was? That she was stuck in a cage.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Oh, yeah. Yeah. Someone get her out. Somebody get that angel out of there. So that was the first layer, and then the next was the. The entire Jeffrey Epstein 50th birthday book.

[Eddie]

Yes.

[Henry Zabrowski]

That this is where the infamous Trump letter came out.

[Eddie]

That can't wait for my 50th.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Well, we're gonna do just this. Yeah, yeah, we're gonna do.

[Eddie]

I definitely want a birthday book. We're doing, you know, now.

[Henry Zabrowski]

No, no, no. I'm letting it because it's a cool idea. I'm not gonna take that away from him. It's a fun idea.

[Eddie]

I love pedophile yearbooks.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yes, this guy did. I have never seen. So I read the entire thing. This is a part of what's ruined my life is that I read this entire birthday playbook and a lot of it is extremely cryptic. The Trump stuff is interesting in the fact that he wrote this whole long thing, you know, May every day be another wonderful secret. We've now covered this to death.

[Eddie]

Yes.

[Henry Zabrowski]

But I do find it interesting.

[Eddie]

I will say in Trump's defense, if he did draw this, I would expect the tits to be bigger.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Well, to me, this speaks a lot louder.

[Eddie]

Oh, because they're tiny.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Like, like a little girl.

[Eddie]

Like a little girl.

[Henry Zabrowski]

So I actually now I see.

[Eddie]

But there is pubic hair.

[Henry Zabrowski]

But no, that's the signature. It's literally a signature. So this guy. This is Jeffrey Epstein. When you watch the. You look at the picture that Donald Trump drew, you could see that it is definitely of a pre pubescent girl. You would think that if two. If you thought that two fun loving, like single dudes would draw like. And I mean this, I know that that's ridiculous to say, but like, wouldn't you draw big tits?

[Eddie]

Yeah, I would probably actually, if it was for you, I would just draw a drawing.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yes.

[Eddie]

If I was gonna draw anything you get.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yes, exactly.

[Eddie]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

This birthday book had more drawings of tits by billionaires than I have ever seen. Like, the Leslie Wexer one is the one that's even weirder where it's like, what do you get for the man who has everything? Oh, I know exactly what Jeffrey wants. And it was just hedge. You just drew tits. And so that's like one thing.

[Eddie]

Who are some other funnels ones?

[Henry Zabrowski]

There. There was things I didn't recognize. There were stories from women, long convoluted stories about Jeffrey Epstein seducing them. And then there was like stuff like that that was like really weird. Like, this is the Lexley Wexler letter. He drew tits on it. And then they. The. Which I think is. I know it's like ridiculous, but it's, it's. This is all they thought of this man. Yes, this all they thought of him was as a. You look at these rapists. Look at this picture that someone else drew of him. That it was a picture of him being naked mass girls in bikinis, but next to it is him giving balloons to children. 1983-2003. What a great country it is. Assuming the way I'm looking at this that those are.

[Eddie]

Those girls are the girls Massaging him. Yes.

[Henry Zabrowski]

And so there's that. Right. So this is all in the book.

[Eddie]

These are all playing to the eye. This isn't made up.

[Henry Zabrowski]

No. Who drew this? A cryptic billionaire. And what I would love, side stories. LPOTL gmail.com is for someone in our audience that is familiar with theoretical physics, science people. I need a nerd to go through the birthday book because there is stuff in there that legitimately looks like he has Harvard. There was like one joke that some. Some Harvard guy put in it. There was a New Yorker cart cartoon. There was a guy talking and it said, you know, I've spent all my life constantly thinking about how to make money when I really should be thinking about naked girls. And the guy added at the end of it. And like biological immortality research. There's several Easter eggs dropped into this. About him being a. Being deeply invested in which we now know in these. The idea of being a transhumanist, like getting involved in to saving his brain, becoming immortal, saving his calm, making a world of. Of baby slaves for himself and like. And sex slaves for himself. And I want to know. There are some physics jokes in this.

[Eddie]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

And there are diagrams and there's shit in it that I don. Understand that are coming from scientists. And I want someone to look at it and tell me what the it means.

[Eddie]

Yes, please. Because there's got to be some kind of weird cryptic joke.

[Henry Zabrowski]

There's something in there.

[Eddie]

But what if it's funny? That would make me so upset, to be honest.

[Henry Zabrowski]

That would at least give me something.

[Eddie]

Yeah. Where's the deal? Neil DeGrasse Tyson when you need him, he never shuts up.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Neil DeGrasse Tyson is a one of them. He's one of the battles.

[Eddie]

Explain this.

[Henry Zabrowski]

They're all one of the bad ones.

[Eddie]

What did Clinton say?

[Henry Zabrowski]

Nothing.

[Eddie]

He said he had.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Oh, no, his was all like. He admired Jeffrey Epstein's childlike curiosity.

[Eddie]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yes. That was the whole thing. So we're all. We're in a fun world. And those are the guys in charge. Those are the guys in charge. And it seems like they're really starting.

[Eddie]

To tell us what to do. Yes. Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

But I will say so that's why. I mean, like, there's a lot of information. So this is part of the stuff that it's really that. That and the fact that Jeffrey Meldrum died and no one talked about it either. And one of the foremost Bigfoot researchers in America.

[Eddie]

Was he ripped apart by a Bigfoot?

[Henry Zabrowski]

No.

[Eddie]

Then it doesn't matter.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Exactly. It was cancer.

[Eddie]

Oh, it's just cancer.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yep. At least Bigfoot way to die.

[Eddie]

Was he. Was he one of the psychic Bigfoot guys?

[Henry Zabrowski]

No.

[Eddie]

No.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Very much so.

[Eddie]

Locked in the world like a human being.

[Henry Zabrowski]

He wanted toughs.

[Eddie]

Yeah. He sat down with a cup of coffee and he's like, listen, we gotta. We gotta hash this out.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Nothing would make his life more complet than if he could watch a Bigfoot.

[Eddie]

Take a. Oh, my. Well, I mean, that would make me incredibly happy as well.

[Henry Zabrowski]

This is all these guys want.

[Eddie]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

So he only wanted scat.

[Eddie]

Was he good at it? Was he. I mean, obviously he never found a Bigfoot.

[Henry Zabrowski]

No. So how good could he be?

[Eddie]

Yeah, actually.

[Henry Zabrowski]

That's actually very, very interesting.

[Eddie]

Yeah, he never found one. He tried super, super hard.

[Henry Zabrowski]

He did. Well, I guess it is good then. Then By Jeffrey Meldrum Nobody cares.

[Eddie]

Oh, no.

[Henry Zabrowski]

You look like a Big Foot.

[Eddie]

Oh, my God. Brain cancer. Yep.

[Henry Zabrowski]

He looked like a Bigfoot. He was like. He looked. He was. He was so cute.

[Eddie]

So he was going crazy?

[Henry Zabrowski]

No, he's just old.

[Eddie]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

And he's like. Do you like Bigfoot imprints?

[Eddie]

He did. I mean, everyone's into some. I'm into some dumb.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Oh, of course.

[Eddie]

Yeah. What are you gonna do, you know?

[Henry Zabrowski]

No, it's good for him, honestly.

[Eddie]

He brought some legitimacy.

[Henry Zabrowski]

He brought some legitimacy to the Bigfoot field that sorely needed it. And now he's dead. He was an anthropologist. Is though.

[Eddie]

Oh, okay.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah. That's what gave him. That's what gave him his cred.

[Eddie]

Thank you, Rob. I appreciate you give saying something nice about the match.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Rob is more of the Bigfoot. Rob's the Bigfoot man.

[Eddie]

Yeah. You're into Bigfoot.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I don't really believe in him. He doesn't believe in Bigfoot. You've done as much research about Bigfoot as I've done. I've been down the hole. Yeah.

[Eddie]

There's no reason to. I like Harry. I just want to believe he's real.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I just think of all of them, Bigfoot's the most successful. Bigfoot makes the most sense.

[Eddie]

Not the Loch Ness Monster. That's the second second most.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yes.

[Eddie]

Okay.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I still think it's a ghost of a plesiosaur.

[Eddie]

You know who else died?

[Henry Zabrowski]

Who?

[Eddie]

Rick Davies from Supertramp. That's who I'm sad about. That's who I'm really broken up about. I love my super tramp.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Hope you find your paradise. Goodbye, stranger. It's been nice.

[Eddie]

Go listen to Supertramp. Everyone do yourself. No matter. Honestly, no matter how you feel about the news or whatever Super Tramp can heal. You're in bad thoughts. I promise you that.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah, especially if you do a line of good old fashioned Columbia white. Yeah. Enjoy yourself as a whole fashion. Do a bump your neighbor's wife. Listen to Super Tramp.

[Eddie]

Goodbye, stranger, Because I'm gonna talk to you all night.

[Henry Zabrowski]

You're not my stranger anymore. You're my best friend from your grave. Oh, my gosh. There it goes.

[Eddie]

It's my bank account soaring into the stars. Look at all that money. Wow. Thank you, Rocket Money, for helping me save money and take my bank account to the moon. That's right. Between rising costs and day to day expenses, managing your money can be stressful. That's why Rocket Money helps you relieve that stress and give you the confidence in your financial decisions. Listen, I make bad choices often with my money. It's what I do. I enjoy it. Hamburger of the month.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah, I'm in.

[Eddie]

Oh, is that a Miami Dolphins fan club? Sure. 8.99.

[Henry Zabrowski]

No problem.

[Eddie]

Take it out on the 14th. Thank you very much. You know what happens after a while when you stay up late at night and you have a little too much to drink and you make these decisions?

[Henry Zabrowski]

You start to regret it.

[Eddie]

That's what happens. And that's where rocket money comes in. So thank you, Rocket Money, for helping me delete some of these apps that I do not need, cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals. F with Rocket Money, go to Rocket Money.com LPOTL today, that's RocketMoney.com LPOTL RocketMoney.com LPOTL.

[Henry Zabrowski]

This podcast is brought to you by Squarespace. Whether you're just starting out or scaling your business, Squarespace is the all in one website platform designed to help you stand out and succeed online. And I will not be destroyed by these children that keep purchasing my businesses. Yes, I have lost horsepix.com and yes, currently I am in for some form of tete a tet with Putin's daughter who purchased Umu paintings.com. so now I'm a man alone who's decided I'm out of the sales business. Yeah, I'm starting a new website. It's called Henry Zabrowski's Feet.com and that's because I'm sick of Wikipedia going out there and slandering my good name on my feet. All right? My feet are good. And this is all I have. So you need to support me and Squarespace. Squarespace makes it all possible. It makes a podcast possible. Squarespace gives you everything you need to offer services and get paid. Squarespace domains make it easier to find the best name for your business at one fair, all inclusive price. No hidden fees or add ons required. Head to squarespace.com left for a free trial. When you're ready to launch, use offer code left to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. While you're buying new school supplies and trying to plan a new schedule this season, the last thing you want to factor in is a giant wireless bill. With Mint Mobile, you can get the coverage and speed you're used to for way less money. You gotta be. It's crazy out here, man. Making stuff all day long, right? Yelling on the phone, buy, sell, buy, sell. Oh, no, I'm breaking up. I'm going into the canyon. Good way to get off the phone with somebody you don't like. Someone you don't respect. But the problem is, is that Mint Mobile works so well, you lose that excuse. I love the Mint Mobile process. It's such a good. The process is easy, it's cheap, and you have to come up with better excuses. That's the problem. The signal so clear you have to say stuff like, practice it with me. I can't. Hey, guy. Going in now. I'm losing signal. I can't. I'm losing signal. Because you're never going to be able to do that ever again. Thanks to Mint Mobile. Get this new customer offer and your three month unlimited wireless plan for just 15 bucks a month at mint mobile.com lpotl that's mint mobile.com lpotl upfront payment of $45 requested equivalent to $15 a month limited time. New customer offer for first three months only. Speeds may slow above 35 gigabytes on unlimited plan taxes and fees. Extra cement Mobile for details. Yeah, yeah.

[Eddie]

Here's a.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Here's a story. All right, let's just do this.

[Eddie]

We've got a whole ton of store. Oh, there's one story that actually relates to what we're already talking about.

[Henry Zabrowski]

What?

[Eddie]

Kim Jong Un. Kim Jong Un. Oh, my God. This guy never disappoints. I mean, or he always does.

[Henry Zabrowski]

He always disappoints. He made.

[Eddie]

He talk about making free speech illegal. He made the words hamburgers, ice cream and karaoke illegal.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Wow.

[Eddie]

Because they're too Western.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah, well, they're too American.

[Eddie]

He's like, I don't want them to have it.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I don't want him to have it.

[Eddie]

Oh, but the people deserve hamburgers.

[Henry Zabrowski]

This should have caused them to rise.

[Eddie]

My Three favorite things.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Guess what I would be doing?

[Eddie]

What?

[Henry Zabrowski]

I'd be at the palace. That's what I'd be doing. If you took hamburgers from me.

[Eddie]

Well, they're not. If you took hamburgers away.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Taking the word.

[Eddie]

They were taking the word hamburger away. It's supposed to be called double bread with ground beef.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Now, double bread with ground beef is the dumbest name for something I've ever heard.

[Eddie]

The gingogi gyuga pang.

[Henry Zabrowski]

You know what it needs to be called? All right, they're called Oon witches. Done.

[Eddie]

Ice cream for free. Ice cream is Eskimo.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Dude, that's free. Eskimo's racist.

[Eddie]

Well, tell him that, not me.

[Henry Zabrowski]

You're the racist.

[Eddie]

You're the racist.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Put him on the list. Put him on the list.

[Eddie]

I didn't do it. I love the Inuits. I mean, I. I'm in your.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Which is only the name of one of the tribes.

[Eddie]

Why? They're my favorite.

[Henry Zabrowski]

He. Technically. Technically, that's the American translation of the word that he's using for ice cream. So he's not calling it Eskimo.

[Eddie]

He's calling it.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Oh, he's calling it Eso Chemo. I literally thought Eddie was just making that up.

[Eddie]

No, I'm not being a prick.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I thought you were.

[Eddie]

No, he is Kim Jong Un.

[Henry Zabrowski]

My Kim Jong Un. He can't be being a prick.

[Eddie]

I know you love him.

[Henry Zabrowski]

My Kim Jong Un.

[Eddie]

Easier. Kim Jong Un.

[Henry Zabrowski]

God, he just wants to eat words. Yeah, he wish he could. He wished that it was food. Yeah, you know, I. Whatever keeps him occupied. He. This is. This might literally be the last regime, though. There's been a lot of talk. There's been a lot of talk about. I've been very interested in the. Their family and I. There's not a heck of a lot of. Of materially about them, obviously, but it really does. Apparently his hold is beginning to really fall apart within the country because the other guys still managed to feed everybody. Not everybody, but, like, we didn't. The extremity of North Korea is really.

[Eddie]

There has to be people somewhere.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Well, there's not good people. They're just normal. There were other leaders. Understood. We might want to keep up a certain baseline to have.

[Eddie]

You want to have an army, people.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Have to be fed. And if you want to have a happy populace, that it's going to rise up. I learned this from Sim City. You need to give them things, right? Like, you need to give the populace something in order for them to feel good about it. So back in the day, like literally, like in the beginnings of North Korea. It was nicer there and then now it's really backslid and it's getting to the point where the center may not hold it as as much, but who knows? Yeah, well, because he's obsessed with nuclear weapons.

[Eddie]

Yes.

[Henry Zabrowski]

His father and with the other one before him, the other guys, they weren't as obsessed with nuclear weapons.

[Eddie]

He calls him cular because he's kooky. But then, you know, these people, they're going to be all right. They still have their on screen accompan machines and everything will be fine. What? That's what they're calling the karaoke machines.

[Henry Zabrowski]

On screen accompaniment machines. Just make up another name.

[Eddie]

Yeah, just make up another unbached.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah, just make the. Put the name. Your favorite guy's Trump. Put your name on the thing.

[Eddie]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

It'S your buddy, right? Just fucking learn the thing. Which is ironic because America's your number one enemy, which is a part of the reason. Wow. Carry Oonki is amazing.

[Eddie]

I like Kara.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I like that a lot. You know what? It is too much fun though. It's too much fun. Too much fun.

[Eddie]

Well, he loves roller coasters, but they.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Also say partially the erosion is his love for Trump. There's like an erosion happening because it's like this funny thing.

[Eddie]

America needs a friend.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah, America. But America's their only. That's like their main enemy.

[Eddie]

Yes, but he likes us.

[Henry Zabrowski]

He likes Trump.

[Eddie]

He likes Trump, yes, but hates us.

[Henry Zabrowski]

But he likes. Yeah, country, capital N, capital K. North Korea. Hates America. That's their brand.

[Eddie]

Yes.

[Henry Zabrowski]

He likes Trump though.

[Eddie]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Trump is America right now, unfortunately.

[Eddie]

Well, his dad hated America, but also loved America. He loved making action movies and like that.

[Henry Zabrowski]

But he was inspired by America. He wanted his own American stuff.

[Eddie]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Kim Jong Un just likes American stuff, which is. It's eroding their trust of him inside of the country, ironically.

[Eddie]

Yeah. And he loves his roller coasters. You ever seen him on a roller coaster? It's so cute looking with his little legs dangling and stuff.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Speaking of a roller coaster, can we talk about how the fact that you and I, I was just at Epic Universe and I spent money out the ass and I first went straight to the guy, right? We had a VIP tour because we were doing this and it was like a fun little thing and I went to the guy and the first thing I asked is like, have you been fishing people out of this giant fountain, the middle Epic Universe yet? And he was like, no, we haven't yet, but we have the first death Immediately. Wow.

[Eddie]

Like a month and a half, two. No, this is like three months after it opens. They're having their first death Stardust Racers.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Which is honestly.

[Eddie]

Did you go on it?

[Henry Zabrowski]

It is really good rides.

[Eddie]

Fun. Wait to go to this park. I still want to go. Even though someone died. People die at the parks all the time.

[Henry Zabrowski]

People die. People die. Okay. People die. And sometimes it's your time and sometimes you're going to die next to a child on a roller coaster.

[Eddie]

He didn't fly out. He was. He didn't.

[Henry Zabrowski]

No.

[Eddie]

He didn't fly out of the roller coaster.

[Henry Zabrowski]

No.

[Eddie]

If he flew out of the roller coaster, we'd have a much different discussion.

[Henry Zabrowski]

His heart pussed. He shouldn't have been on it, I guess. I think it's, you know, he didn't know he was 30. The guy died. It was one of those things where it's really, really sad. Where it was like at the end of Stardust Racers it parks. Everybody gets out of the ride. He's just.

[Eddie]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

And then they have to send like a guy dressed as Harry Potter over there. Like go like. Oh no. Oh, Restorius and Brontus. Oh, we must. O. Cuz then you would have a dip. Diplous Inflatas. Someone called the Paradisiums and they go. And they have to do it all in character and try to flop them off the thing. Hagrid comes out. They're like Polish.

[Eddie]

Part of Dark Universe. They just say it's like send the corpse.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Send the corpse to Monsters Unchained. They mean it. Send it down there. Pirates of the Caribbean editor had a real skull in it. They did skeletons, dude.

[Eddie]

Yeah. Multiple. But then they replaced most of them. Not all of them.

[Henry Zabrowski]

But this is Universal's opportunity to get in on the lore.

[Eddie]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

And I'm certain that this guy. Because wouldn't you say go back to.

[Eddie]

Going to the famous like. So how much for the body?

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah. Do you have a discount with the club? Like, are you part of the Epic Universe club? You have a discount with that or.

[Eddie]

No? I know it's hard to get tickets right now, but what if it wasn't?

[Henry Zabrowski]

It's really very sad. He just died on there.

[Eddie]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Oh, it was this Universal visitor. Was the magic broken for her? He was in his 30s. Yes, that's what I'm saying. He died of like. He probably had a heart defect and he didn't even know.

[Eddie]

Yeah, yeah. I mean it's, it's, it is awful. Yes, it is pretty sad.

[Henry Zabrowski]

It is an exciting ride. But this Is too much of an advertisement for it.

[Eddie]

I always. If you could die on any theme park ride, what would you pick? Pick.

[Henry Zabrowski]

It's a small world after all.

[Eddie]

Oh, yeah, that's a good one. It definitely. I would like a slow one.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Oh, yeah. And just sitting in it. My goal is I want to be. I want to be dead on a ride in which I've gone around a couple times.

[Eddie]

Like one more time, sir. He was like, all right, go ahead.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Well, he's asleep. No. No reason to wake him up. You know, like one of those were just. And they're all like, you know, like kids are taking pictures with the funny sleeping man.

[Eddie]

I wanted to be living with the land at Epcot just so they could make me part of the fertilizer.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah, they just dump into the point. What's the big ball ride?

[Eddie]

Oh, Spaceship Earth.

[Henry Zabrowski]

That's my buddy.

[Eddie]

My buddy always said he wanted to die next to his grand. That's his life goals. And die next to his grandson on that ride.

[Henry Zabrowski]

That's it, man. Finally. You and your mother brought me so much joy.

[Eddie]

Tomorrow's child. Oh, man, we got a crazy murder. Oh, this is the craziest story. I can't believe we jumped to the roller coaster story.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I was just saying because you brought up all the against.

[Eddie]

It was a good, good segue, but. All right. DeForvid.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Okay, DeForvid. Now this guy named deforvid, he's got a beauty mark on his face like he's Marilyn Monroe. But he is a child, I believe is a child. And he's like 23, something like that.

[Eddie]

He's very. He's young. He's way young.

[Henry Zabrowski]

His name is. I guess they. I've heard it pronounced as David. Yes, but it's spelled deforvid. I listened to the song that he is known for.

[Eddie]

Me too.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Guess what? We already had Baby fish face. He's just another guy just singing. This is it. He's a classic example of what we're dealing with right now. He's certainly no youngblood, but he's a constant example right now of what we're seeing of like adult contemporary music done by people with face tattoos.

[Eddie]

Yeah, they're all Michael Bolton.

[Henry Zabrowski]

That's all it is, guys. Yeah, it's literally early Usher. Yeah, but he's barely. He's not doing any. He's literally. Listen to baby face.

[Eddie]

Yeah, Baby face is great.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Wonderful. And never carved up his 13 year old girlfriend to put her in a Tesla. He just married her.

[Eddie]

Yes.

[Henry Zabrowski]

See, now this is different. That's a different story. So deforvit has 25 million followers or something? 2 million.

[Eddie]

2 million.

[Henry Zabrowski]

But he's another one of those guys that's famous and I've never heard of him before.

[Eddie]

I never heard of him before this. And he's incredibly famous.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Incredibly famous and not talented. And so they went currently on tour, just crushing it right now. But he dropped. So apparently he had a Tesla that was. Right now it's seeming like he had a Tesla that was impounded in his name. Yes, it was impounded because it had.

[Eddie]

Been sitting out in front of his.

[Henry Zabrowski]

House of which he had some beautiful mansion already. And he was sitting in front of this and rotting in front of this beautiful mansion. I'm sorry I use the word rotting. But then Tesla, it was picked up, it was brought to the impound center and they found a dismembered teen and it turns out to be a young lady that was missing for a year.

[Eddie]

Unfortunately, rotting is the right word because that's how they found her. Because they impounded the Tesla and it was stinking like all hell.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yes and no. It took a while for people to find out that this was happening. And then the young lady. So this was the first thing. So this, this first came out deformed apparently has been like. They saying he's cooperating with the police. God knows what he's doing. Yeah, now we're seeing that they had. Apparently the big thing that came out over the last week was that they had matching tattoos.

[Eddie]

Yeah, her name was Celeste Rivas. She was 15 years old when she was found. They definitely knew each other. He even wrote a song mentioning name.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Recently and they had the matching tattoos of what?

[Eddie]

What were the tattoos?

[Henry Zabrowski]

Oh my God. It was. They both had on their front finger. Shush. S hh so what seems to be.

[Narrator]

I'm sinking now.

[Eddie]

Was it facing out or facing in?

[Henry Zabrowski]

Oh, I did it facing. If he did it facing.

[Eddie]

It's just telling himself to shut up.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Telling me to shush. I certainly shouldn't tell anybody about my 14 year old girlfriend. There is seems to be. Now this is again massive conjecture. Yes, massive conjecture. It seems to be that this might be a lady child that Deforvid was involved with and she was dismembered and put on the back of this Tesla. Now we don't know whether or not. We obviously don't know whether or not he did it or not. We don't know whether or not. It sounds like this was the thing that was about to maybe become public for him. We know that it was in his inner circle. Circle that it seemed to be known that he was dating a child. He was dating a child. And which is why. Because obviously you have to tell your tattoo artist that it's your girlfriend. You're both getting the shush tattoos on at the same time.

[Eddie]

I don't know. I don't know what the. What the process is.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Does that not make you an accessory to child trafficking?

[Eddie]

My younger cousin just got his huge tattoo at 16.

[Henry Zabrowski]

You can. You can eat parametric crazy. You just need parental permission.

[Eddie]

It was.

[Henry Zabrowski]

It's gigantic antics. Yeah. You see principal, he's 16. Yeah.

[Eddie]

What are you going to do?

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah. But hey, he had the scratch for it.

[Eddie]

He's happy. No, he's happy.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah. You're going to believe it. Honestly, I just have it. The only reason why I don't have a single tattoo is that during my most impulsive years, I needed weed, I had no money, and I had to choose between alcohol and drugs or tattoos.

[Eddie]

Yeah, that was exactly what happened to me. I wanted to get this giant eagle that wrapped around my shoulder. Then they were like, It's $1,700. You. You're like, oh, I'll just buy weed.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah, I just smoke weed and I'll forget about. I wanted that. Yeah. I wanted TCB with the flash. I wanted the Memphis mafia tattoo real bad. That was like my favorite thing. That's really.

[Eddie]

Can get it.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I got a shirt.

[Eddie]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

You know, like, I have a shirt.

[Eddie]

You take your shirt off more than anyone. I know.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I know. But that's kind of the thing is that it's just then you got to cover it up.

[Eddie]

You should get bigger tits tattooed on your tits. Wow.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Longer nipples.

[Eddie]

I just.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Big girl, great tits. And there's deforvid. Just so you know. We'll come back to this story, obviously, because Defor very much developing. He is very much developing and deforvid continues to go on. It's another example of someone that commits crimes and continues to be successful in this country. So he is just rolling on with no form of accountability and he's crushing it. He had a lot of tour dates while that girl was rotting. A lot of tour dates. He had had to. He didn't want to be near the guard. Oh, we also don't know whether. Again, conjecture. We have no idea. We don't know. We have no idea.

[Eddie]

Oh, we. This is just.

[Henry Zabrowski]

There's definitely an explanation, Eddie. I know that.

[Eddie]

Oh, of course. I know that he lived in the house that they searched. I know that much.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Here's another story. That kind of.

[Eddie]

I love stories. I love a story with my best friend story.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Can we play Metallica's one? No, no, no.

[Eddie]

It's like Metallica is like the last thing we could play here. All right.

[Henry Zabrowski]

That's what this. That's what I wish I could play this song. Underneath the story. Woman, 95, beats fellow nursing home, that resident who was a holocaust survivor to death with the chunk of her wheelchair.

[Eddie]

Why would that song make sense? Oh, it's about Nam, right?

[Henry Zabrowski]

It's just something about like the 95 year old woman army crawling across the like the dimensional ward with a chunk of her wheelchair.

[Eddie]

Tell me what happened.

[Henry Zabrowski]

There is no details.

[Eddie]

Okay.

[Henry Zabrowski]

It is just. An 89 year old Holocaust survivor was found beaten to death. Her head was crushed by a 95 year old woman. We don't know what they were fighting about. I honestly think it might have been about the Jimmy Kimmel situation. She army crawled in the other room.

[Eddie]

I only live for Jimmy Kimmel. I've been following him since Vegas.

[Henry Zabrowski]

What would make a 95 year old woman. I'm again, I'm not blaming the Holocaust. I'm not going to blame. I'm saying it's because of what that woman did. But what could drive a like 114 pound 95, 95 woman to crush someone's head?

[Eddie]

Well, you know, whatever the motive is, I think we, you know, doctors who.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I see absolute horror. How can I feel? I can too. Dude, that's like her just like smash, smash, die, die.

[Eddie]

You survive.

[Henry Zabrowski]

You ain't surviving my. Here comes the Holocaust again.

[Eddie]

Do you think that she was extra strong or do you think the woman was extra soft?

[Henry Zabrowski]

Apparently by the time she got to her, yes, she was. She had already been boiling for about five minutes. And so that is about perfect as an. About an imperfect soft yolk.

[Eddie]

Oh man, this is well, slam, slam, slam.

[Henry Zabrowski]

You thought you could. You thought you'd live longer than me? Bitch, I end that shit. Here comes the finishing line. I'm the finishing line, bitch. The marathon's over.

[Eddie]

I think it was probably a little sweeter than that.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I know you miss your husband. Time for me to send you back. Here you go. Yeah, I've always wanted to do this.

[Eddie]

This was on my bucket list.

[Henry Zabrowski]

This was on my bucket list, kid list. They put. They had the nerve to put this woman in jail. They're now trying to figure out what to do with her. They're like, I guess like the lawyers on both sides are like, we're trying to. What they the term they came up with was. We're trying to figure out a robust bail program.

[Eddie]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

For this lady. Well, because it's dementia.

[Eddie]

It's dementia dement. All right.

[Henry Zabrowski]

That's why they don't know what to do with. You're saying that you think this was fueled by dementia? You don't think that this is fueled by an unnecessary race? What if she was a German? Oh, my God. If she.

[Eddie]

I want to find one last one.

[Henry Zabrowski]

What's your last name? What's your last name? What's your last name? St. Oh, my God. If she was like y. One final blow for like. If he was like that, that would be.

[Eddie]

I have one final solution. Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Very good. First I voted for Jill Stein. Ultimate destabilizing figure. Now I will go and I will kill my final Jew. Oh, God. Oh, she's not been named.

[Eddie]

Oh, okay.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Oh, she's not currently facing.

[Eddie]

That was her parents fault. Everyone's going to be gave her a name.

[Henry Zabrowski]

You know what?

[Eddie]

I thought that was funny.

[Henry Zabrowski]

No, I know. Yes. I just think it's funny that you could be canceled about everything else that we've said today. Yeah, but this, that I can do this all day and I won't get in trouble.

[Eddie]

This is the show.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yes.

[Eddie]

It is our job to make fun of death. Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

That's why it's fucked up.

[Eddie]

I can't do my job.

[Henry Zabrowski]

My hand is like. That's why I feel like I'm in a. I feel like I'm in a cage right now.

[Eddie]

I have been making fun of death my entire comedy career.

[Henry Zabrowski]

That's all I ever done.

[Eddie]

Woke up and said, you can't do that no more.

[Henry Zabrowski]

But, well, one group said it. And we're gonna see how or less. Because right now, obviously there's going to be a lawsuit. Jimmy Kimmel's going to do a big old lawsuit. There's going to be a bunch of stuff that's going to come out of this.

[Eddie]

Tucker's mad if you.

[Henry Zabrowski]

If you don't want to make Tucker, man.

[Eddie]

He's like, I say horrible things all the time.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Oh, you could have stop canceling people. That's what I do. Oh, you can't start canceling people. No. My bow tie is getting too tight. It's my Tucker Carlson voice.

[Eddie]

From your grave.

[Narrator]

TV's number one drama, High Potential returns with star Caitlin Olsen as the crime solving single mom with an IQ of 160. Every week, Morgan uses her unconventional style and brilliance to crack LAPD's most perplexing cases. It's the perfect blend of Humor and mystery. She's breaking the mold without breaking a nail. New episodes of high potential, Tuesdays, 10, 9 Central on ABC and stream on Hulu.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Also, you know what we never covered was the $20,000 burglary at D. Disney.

[Eddie]

What? I don't even know this. A $20,000 bur. I was busy this week.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I care. This is a story I actually can't believe you didn't hear about.

[Eddie]

Send this to me when you see it.

[Henry Zabrowski]

All right, so what happened? This is amazing. So this was at Disney Springs.

[Eddie]

Okay.

[Henry Zabrowski]

You remember, you know Paddlefish in Disney Springs? That place that has that, like. It's this.

[Eddie]

It looks like killed somebody recently.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yes. Great. There's a. That's awesome. But it's a. It's like a Q restaurant, I guess. It's like they. They consider it to. I know what it looks like, you know, but it's this moat.

[Eddie]

I like the Indiana Jones bar. What do you say? Go ahead.

[Henry Zabrowski]

This man. They were closing for the night, and all of a sudden a man arrived into the kitchen in a full scuba gear. He had swam through the river, through the retention pond, up into the rest.

[Eddie]

Right there.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yes, he swam into it, walked in full scuba gear, flippers and everything. Everything. Tied them up. Tied up all the people and robbed.

[Eddie]

Did he have a spear gun?

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yes. No. I wish he did, honestly. That'd be amazing. He said right now, here.

[Eddie]

He said he had no weapons from the future.

[Henry Zabrowski]

He said they tied him up and he did not display any weapons. They just didn't like him going. He probably did. Like, the force can peddles. You hear me? Like, literally. That was. And they're like, oh, my God, it's a dark Jedi.

[Eddie]

Oh, no, it's Darth Maul. You're the wettest Jedi I've ever seen.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Oh, man. He really puts the maul in Darth Maul because he's coming from the cinnab. It's like a 20,000. But he robbed the place of $20,000. He's the Riddler. Matt Reeves. Yeah. $20,000 cash in and out. Went back into the river, took the money, put it in a waterproof bag, sunk back into the river like it was that. What was that?

[Eddie]

Disney's mad that got rid of all those gators now.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Oh, yeah. Dude. What was that show with Martin Sheen back in the day?

[Eddie]

Oh, the West Wing.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Not the West Wing.

[Eddie]

That's the only show I know when.

[Henry Zabrowski]

He was like a young man, man. Oh, I don't know.

[Eddie]

What I don't know was her.

[Henry Zabrowski]

It Was like. I just remember the bit from Hot Shots part. Do. Does anybody know what I'm saying?

[Eddie]

I have no idea what you're talking about. The Hot Shot Part two bit was an Apocalypse now joke.

[Henry Zabrowski]

No, I loved you in Wall Street.

[Eddie]

Yeah. It was a platoon.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Hawaii 5.

[Eddie]

He was not in Hawaii 5.

[Henry Zabrowski]

He wasn't in Hawaii Five.

[Eddie]

No, no, no. It was. That was. The Apocalypse now joke was in.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Martin Sheen was in about you and.

[Eddie]

Wall street, the movie they were in together. That's was.

[Henry Zabrowski]

But there. There was another joke about people scuba diving.

[Eddie]

Well, that was at the end of the. When Lloyd Bridges was scuba diving to Saddam Hussein.

[Henry Zabrowski]

But there was like a joke.

[Eddie]

I'm going to kill you till you're dead from it.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yes. That's a television show parody that we did.

[Eddie]

I. I don't know. Oh, well, I don't know that. But he farted.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I know. What I don't know.

[Eddie]

Got the other guys.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I do remember that.

[Eddie]

I love that movie.

[Henry Zabrowski]

That's the best movie of all time.

[Eddie]

When they. When they're about to jump out of the plane, the lights flashing and it's a green, green, green, green. Great joke.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yes.

[Eddie]

You know, Great joke. When he's doing. They. He says he's reading Great Expectations and they ask him how it is and he's like, not all. I hope for it.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Kiss me like you have never kissed anyone before. She's like sucking on the nose. Yeah, it's a great bit.

[Eddie]

It's great bit. Great. Bet I got this tongue from a Labrador retriever. Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Lloyd Bridges. Amazing, Amazing bit. Technically, Kim Jong un would be an amazing addition to a Hot Shots film. And I think that Charlie Sheen thing.

[Eddie]

I want from Charlie Sheen right now.

[Henry Zabrowski]

He is. He's working. Working on that. You know that he's.

[Eddie]

He has to do something fun.

[Henry Zabrowski]

They are do. They are. That's the thing. Now they're doing that.

[Eddie]

How long is he have AIDS and I do drugs. He's doing Not Fun Charlie.

[Henry Zabrowski]

No, he's doing the what's his butts. He's doing the rehab thing right now where he's doing the. I'm sorry for my last round.

[Eddie]

He has his doc.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yes.

[Eddie]

And he went on Rogan. He was on Rogan when the news broke.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yes. He's done this like four times.

[Eddie]

And he was like, no more. I respect all Charlies.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's just like, I don't want to talk about it. I'm good about. Actually been pretty good in that.

[Eddie]

He was actually. I was impressed. Charlie Sheen always impresses me as much as I think he's a scumbag. Yeah, he, like, always show is like, in the roast world. He came up out of everyone who ever did the roast. He knew his right away.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yes.

[Eddie]

He came and he nailed it up. He was.

[Henry Zabrowski]

That's what they always said. He was a. He truly was such a pro that no one pop up out of a.

[Eddie]

Stupor and just nail it.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Two and a Half Men was never held up to by him. Yeah, he did it afterwards in that whole thing.

[Eddie]

He would not show up, and then it would be holed up. But if he was there, he did it.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah. He was a machine.

[Eddie]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

All right, I think we're. How long is this episode?

[Eddie]

I don't know. There's a couple things I want to talk about real quick. There's some quick animal news. Zookeeper killed by lions in front of.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Everyone at the zoo, which is hilarious.

[Eddie]

Great, wild stuff.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I mean, honestly, charge extra for that. Yeah, exactly. You know, you got to be in the splash zone. Is this like a good. Like a. I got it. Can I. Oh, go check out our Guar interview on YouTube.

[Eddie]

Oh, please.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Check out the guar Speaking of being sprayed with blood.

[Eddie]

Yes. They jerked off the orcas in the orca in. That's stuck in France because they're worried it was going to its mom. People keep sending me this. I know what's going on over in France. These orcas are stranded. There's nowhere for them to go, unfortunately. It's all very sad.

[Henry Zabrowski]

So they have to get jerked off. So they don't have sex with their own mother. Like they're Mike Pence.

[Eddie]

Well, they're stuck in getting this. They're like, you know, the whole place is shut down. Marine land in France, and these orcas are just stuck in these tanks and they don't know what to do. People are still showing up to take care of them, but they're worried because, like, there's nothing going on anymore, that this orca is going to his mom and they can't have him. Him's mom, because they don't need any more inbreeding. The orca is already probably. It's already kind of inbred.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Can we just say, okay, this might be super controversial, but just abort the inbred baby and let them each other.

[Eddie]

I don't know know if there. If you can do an abortion. An orca abortion.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Well, you can. You can throw it in a sort of like a giant. To be honest. I think you could throw it in a Giant. I mean, again, this might be controversial, but put it into some sort of industrial blender, make into chum, and you can then feed it back to them.

[Eddie]

Interesting. I think people will hate that. Yeah, I think that's what's going to get you canceled.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I hope so. I mean, I've been. I've been canceled already.

[Eddie]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Like I've already been been canceled.

[Eddie]

Yeah, no, you have.

[Henry Zabrowski]

So this is all just gravy.

[Eddie]

Yeah. If you listen. If you found this and were able to listen it to us, congrats. Wow. Wow. I can't believe you found. Oh, do you know, here's. Here's big, big animal news. They're breeding dodos again, apparently. So we're going to be able to eat one of these things.

[Henry Zabrowski]

That's got to go real well.

[Eddie]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I definitely think bringing them back, I think the dodo is going to be.

[Eddie]

Like five to seven years out till we got a dodo.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Put me back. I don't want to be here anymore. I'm sick of being Ariana Grande's pet. You have an idea, Ariana Grande, get.

[Eddie]

A dodo for the studio. Just keep in the parking lot.

[Henry Zabrowski]

You know what the problem is, right? I need it. You know what they say about dos.

[Eddie]

You show up one day to be like, eddie, where's the dodo?

[Henry Zabrowski]

Did you see the two web feet? Two web feet hanging out her mouth. The problem with DOOs is that the same thing's gonna happen the last time we had doos. Yeah, they're gonna just stupid themselves off the planet. They've talked about this.

[Eddie]

We're literally gonna get do Delicious.

[Henry Zabrowski]

We're gonna get dodos. And then legitimately, they're just gonna run into traffic like, this is what's on going to happen. We're going to be covered in dodos. They're going to just go. They're going to bring down. I mark my words, they're going to bring down a plane. They're going to destroy. I bet you they're going to destroy a bullet train. They're going to stop a bullet train.

[Eddie]

Cows don't stop bullet trains. You ever see that kind of footage?

[Henry Zabrowski]

Oh, yeah.

[Eddie]

That shit's wild.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah. They're such a dumb looking bird, though, buddy. They're called a dodo.

[Eddie]

They're the coolest.

[Henry Zabrowski]

And they're dumb. They're stupid. They can't fly. They just walk.

[Eddie]

Yeah, but you know, they're. They've raised about 120 million to do this, so that's good.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Not a waste of money. At all.

[Eddie]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Certainly not that. That couldn't be applied anywhere.

[Eddie]

It's the same company that's trying to recreate mammoths and direwolves, so they're. They're just. They're doing it.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I think it's cute.

[Eddie]

Tasmanian tiger. I want that. That's recent.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Honestly, I just feel like. Let's just focus with the group we.

[Eddie]

Got, because we're already cool if we. I mean, you know what they really should do is the fucking White Rhino, that there's only one left.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I don't think we need. You know what? I think that White Rhino again, has just been like, thank you. I'm out of this. I'm so happy to not be in this news cycle anymore. I think the White Rhinoceros is just like. That's called being canceled. Yeah, that's what got canceled is the White Rhinoceros. Like, that's the difference. Like. Yeah. Be careful. Oh. All right. So I think that we've done. How long's our. This episode's been, like, two hours long.

[Eddie]

But also, I think it's time to. I, I. I want to tell you this.

[Henry Zabrowski]

We've. We've made it so far, maybe without being canceled and maybe without our show.

[Eddie]

I have a very special story that I wanted to share with you. Something cool happened to me when I was in New York, and I really want to bring it up also. Go see Jeff Ross show, Take a Banana for the Ride. It's on Broadway for another week. It was amazing. It blew my mind. I saw it twice. It's all about my family. It's beautiful. But that's not what I want to talk about. I went and saw the movie.

[Henry Zabrowski]

You want to talk about UFO movie? My movie. The Kickstarter for Unbelievably Friendly Organism.

[Eddie]

It's a good movie, and I can't wait to be in it and watch it and.

[Henry Zabrowski]

You have no choice. You are in the movie. I wrote a part for you. I wrote a part for Marcus already.

[Eddie]

That's great. Good. Marcus is going to act.

[Henry Zabrowski]

He's going to. Yeah.

[Eddie]

Wow.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I have a great part for him.

[Eddie]

I can't. Is it not. Is it a lot of lines?

[Henry Zabrowski]

No.

[Eddie]

Good. You'll like that.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah.

[Eddie]

Does he, like, dig? Tell me digs?

[Henry Zabrowski]

No.

[Eddie]

We should put a digging scene in there.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I won't do that.

[Eddie]

No, put a digging scene in.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I will not compromise my vision.

[Eddie]

So I went and saw. Saw Caught Stealing the new Darren Arnofsky movie.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Excited?

[Eddie]

It was pretty good.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah.

[Eddie]

I was just excited to see him do, like, A gritty, small, you know, low level crime.

[Henry Zabrowski]

It looks like a guy Richie.

[Eddie]

It's an East Village movie. He made it. He lives in the East Village. He made it was like an homage to his neighborhood. It takes place in 1998. It was a lot of fun. What's his putts was actually very funny. Zo Kravis is super hot.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Oh, Austin Butler. My boy. My butler. Yeah, and my boy's always good. Austin Butler's good, man.

[Eddie]

Dude, leave. Schreiber and Vincent d' Onofrio play these acidic hitmen. They're hilarious. They're so good. But the movie's great. Here's the thing. In the very beginning of the movie, there's a scene with Zoe Kravitz and. And, and what's it? Austin Butler making out in the hallway of apartment. Yeah. They're going at it and then this woman comes by and she's like, take it upstairs. And she leaves. You know who this woman was?

[Henry Zabrowski]

Who?

[Eddie]

Miss Kitty, my l. My friend.

[Henry Zabrowski]

They put Miss Kitty in the movie.

[Eddie]

She's this woman. She's this old black lady that I'm friends with.

[Henry Zabrowski]

She worked blast from the past.

[Eddie]

She worked across the street from the Village poor house where I was a chef.

[Henry Zabrowski]

She gets in the movies all the time.

[Eddie]

I used to give her free lunch and she would let us go into the movie theater and stuff. And at amc, her name's Kitty Lawrence. She's an East Village legend. I love this woman. We were very close. I go see her every time I'm in town.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Oh, he put her. It's her neighbor and he put her on the red carpet.

[Eddie]

Yes. No, no, no. She's unbelievable. I remember one day she burger from me. And you know, on the back in the day, the AMC name tags, they had their, like, their name and.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah, and.

[Eddie]

And hers was always Priscilla, Queen of the Desert, which I found very cute, you know. And then one day she came in and her favorite movie was Black Swan. And I was like, miss Kitty, you don't like Pris Black Swan? I was like. I was like. I was like, you like Black Swan? Not. Not Priscilla Queen of the Desert. And she's like, well, I was working and my neighbor came in and he asked me why his movie wasn't my favorite movie. And so I put his movie on my name tag. I was like, is your neighbor Darren Arnofsky? And then she was like, oh, no, Darren. You know, Darren, it was the cutest.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I love that. So he put a real New Yorker. That's amazing.

[Eddie]

Miss Kitty Is like one of these ladies who's never left the East Village. Like, she don't even go to 23rd Street.

[Henry Zabrowski]

No, she knows and she remembered, like, Fox.

[Eddie]

Yeah, yeah. She. She banged Jimi Hendrix. She used to roller skate around the East Village in a bikini in the 60s and shit. She's the coolest motherfucker. I love Miss K Kitty. Shout out to you. I can't believe you're in the movie. It was amazing.

[Henry Zabrowski]

She.

[Eddie]

Honestly, she's working at the movie theater. She could use the money. Darren Arofsky is very cool for putting her in this movie. Apparently her and Darren Arofsky during. Right before they started making the wrestler got Mickey works over together like. Like, what an incredible legend, dude.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Wow, that's so amazing.

[Eddie]

I love that woman. She's the best. Shout out to Miss Kitty. Kitty Lawrence. Go see Caught Stealing. Surprisingly fun movie.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah, I love that.

[Eddie]

All these guys. Paul Thomas Anderson.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Paul Thomas Anderson.

[Eddie]

Apparently they're all making their weird, like, action movies.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Well, now they're like, I liked Edington. A lot of people now didn't like it, but I like that a lot. Yeah, but you know what? That new. Was it One Day at a Time. What is it called, that new P.T. anderson movie?

[Eddie]

Oh, it looks great.

[Henry Zabrowski]

With L. DiCaprio.

[Eddie]

I can't wait. Comes out this week, right?

[Henry Zabrowski]

They were all saying, this is the one.

[Eddie]

I mean, of course. I mean, he had to make something badass.

[Henry Zabrowski]

He had to.

[Eddie]

Because, like, the last two were fine.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Pizza was a waste.

[Eddie]

And then the Inherent Vice wasn't great. Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

All right.

[Eddie]

It was fine. But yeah, this.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah. One battle after another looks really.

[Eddie]

Everyone's saying that it's like the best movie ever made. I can't. I can't wait to see this movie. It looks awesome. I. You know, DiCaprio's gonna crush it. But, yeah, no Movie Corner.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah.

[Eddie]

Well, here, let's.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Let's do some listener letters.

[Eddie]

Listener. Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Side. Yeah.

[Eddie]

Yeah. Come on.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Imprisoning me. I am hard. Yeah. That was awesome. Cut off. Hold on a second. Hold up. Hold on a second.

[Eddie]

I play it again. I play it. Maybe it's because I said it was hard.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yes.

[Eddie]

Damn.

[Henry Zabrowski]

It keeps getting cut off.

[Eddie]

Send us another version. It was pretty awesome. We'll play it again. Do you think we're getting a lot of metal? Do you think we're more metal than punk?

[Henry Zabrowski]

I think that our listenership might be more metal than punk.

[Eddie]

Interesting.

[Henry Zabrowski]

But then maybe doesn't.

[Eddie]

They probably just don't own headphones and.

[Henry Zabrowski]

No, punk is different now. Punk is different. Now we just got like. That was just. I love a melodic metal.

[Eddie]

I like. I like metal. But I'm more of a punky.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I understand. Which I find interesting.

[Eddie]

Really?

[Henry Zabrowski]

I thought that you'd be more into. Because, like, I love all I'm. You know, I love.

[Eddie]

I do like metal.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Don't get me wrong. Judas Priest, I love the old school.

[Eddie]

I like priests a lot.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yes. How much do you listen to Maiden?

[Eddie]

Hardly ever.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Iron Maiden.

[Eddie]

I always had a chip on my shoulder because when I was younger, I was dating this chick and after she broke up with me, she told me the whole time we were dating she was babysitting for the drummer of Iron Maiden. I was like, you never told me me that. I always hold it against you, Dorothy.

[Henry Zabrowski]

You, Dorothy. And you know what else?

[Eddie]

Her father wrote the theme song to the Miami Dolphins and he hated me. Broke my heart.

[Henry Zabrowski]

You deserve. Because you were her. You should never have.

[Eddie]

I was. I barely kissed her. I was 14.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Ah, well, here we go. All right, so I got some stuff here.

[Eddie]

Right?

[Henry Zabrowski]

So this is the talk about stuff last week. We talked a little bit about. What's with the. What's with the. That nubs?

[Eddie]

Oh, yeah, no, that's. There's an update on that.

[Henry Zabrowski]

We have a couple of things. This guy. We talked about the guy that. This last week, the surgeon that so happily cut his legs off. Tournament nubs for his own sexual gratification. He did insurance fraud to get it done.

[Eddie]

And he was hanging with the. The Unic Maker.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Well, we now know that a part of really the. His. His. Like the reason why people were like this guy was because he had a lot of extreme amputee porn on him and a lot of. And he was involved with that guy, the Unic maker, which we covered when we actually, back in the day when Pat Noswal on the show mar that very thickly.

[Eddie]

Marius Gustafson.

[Henry Zabrowski]

But he was. This guy tried to like him. He tried to like him.

[Eddie]

I tried to like him.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I tried to get into. I was like, people love this guy. What am I missing? It's like severance. Literally like severance. Yeah, yeah, it's. It is the. It's the real severance.

[Eddie]

He's the deforid of amputee pornography.

[Henry Zabrowski]

But that's like.

[Eddie]

A lot of people. People said it's zone body rubbing. All right?

[Henry Zabrowski]

Nothing makes me hornier than my own feet turning into sludge. But a lot of people said that one of the big things was about the. The. The nubs. The feeling of it, right? So this is so this is very interesting. So I'm listening to this week's side stories, and the story about that amputee doctor came up. I'm a licensed prostheticist, so I deal with amputees almost daily.

[Eddie]

Awesome.

[Henry Zabrowski]

One of my co workers.

[Eddie]

Good to know this person now.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yes. Just. I don't need it. One of my co workers is also a double amputee. Both legs. And they both told me about how dating as an amputee is hard because of that fetish. Yes, they told me. Yes. I never thought about that. Yes. They told me that they would go on dating apps and groups to meet people and they would end up talking to someone that focuses a lot on their amputations while claiming they're also an amputee. He told me that it's super common for people that have that fetish to fake being an amputee to be closer to others with amputations for fetish's sake. Which is very interesting, but. And then just another one about Body Identity Integrity Disorder. The story about the surgeon who cut off his own legs reminded me of a super rare neurological disorder I learned about while getting my psych degree. Yeah, it's called Body Identity Integrity Disorder, or biid, in which a person experiences a persistent intense desire to amputate or disable a healthy body part because they feel that part does not belong to their true body images.

[Eddie]

Okay.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Individuals with BIID often report significant distress or discomfort with their intact bodies and may seek surgery or other means to remove or alter the limb even though it is physically healthy. There's a guy named Rowland Bowen back in the 70s that did the same exact thing.

[Eddie]

Interesting. I like every part of my body. I don't want to lose anything.

[Henry Zabrowski]

My super necessary.

[Eddie]

If anything, I'll put stuff on.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I need extra. Yeah, I would love an extra hand. And oh, my God, two extra penises.

[Eddie]

Imagine a hand right above your ass. You can just scratch all the time.

[Henry Zabrowski]

My pants.

[Eddie]

What's above?

[Henry Zabrowski]

I have to redo all my pants.

[Eddie]

Oh, you're right.

[Henry Zabrowski]

And then, you know that hand to push my belt down? I already have those issues.

[Eddie]

Yeah, you're having problems. Or it could hold your pants up.

[Henry Zabrowski]

But then it gets cramped from gripping all day.

[Eddie]

Here we go.

[Henry Zabrowski]

It has been family lore for years that my grandfather and an anesthesiologist miraculously saved the man's life in the operating room, even though he appeared to be dead by massaging his heart directly.

[Eddie]

Oh, yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Recently, I discovered he had published a case report on this occurrence. I read it. 1960s South Africa, a man fat smoker came in for a minor surgery to have a bladder carcinoma removed. They put him to sleep. After about 10 eventful minutes, he stopped breathing properly. After a minute of trying to get that back up, my grandfather and the rest of the surgical team sawed open his rib cage and one lung popped out. Overly inflated and unable to contract to breathe. It was so inflated that it was a miracle that they just didn't stab it as they were opening the chest cavity. My grandfather took a hold of the lung, manually deflated it, then massaged it until the lung started contracting of its own accord. Then he and the rest of the team realized the heart wasn't working. So we massaged it for a half an hour. The guy lived, but only for another 54 hours.

[Eddie]

Holy.

[Henry Zabrowski]

All you had to do is give the guy a hot stone massage directly on his heart and he can live for a full other two days. I read this article and realized that it includes this poor guy died having his lungs and heart manhandled by my grandfather because he didn't receive enough of one type of anesthetic medication for his reflex to calm down. So actually, this was a story about my grandfather accidentally over underdosing a guy and then having to tear him apart with his bare hands while the poor man's body screamed in horror. My grandfather qualified as a doctor at 16. I'm retired at 76. He worked at several very well regarded high school hospitals. His party trick was intubating himself in front of other people. My mom said he did a lot of amphetamines, but he also says that every single one of his doctor friends was also doing a lot of amphetamines.

[Eddie]

Well, he did. Uncle amphetamines.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yes, exactly. Because they help you react quickly to occasions like having a human lung pop out of the chest cavity at you like an overfilled balloon. But it sounds like he should have grabbed it and squeezed on it like it was a God.

[Eddie]

What's it you see? You didn't watch that new show Duster, did you?

[Henry Zabrowski]

No, it was.

[Eddie]

That's in the movie. It's in the show Duster. They, like, just. They make it look like anyone could do it. Like some hitman is just like, yeah, I'll squeeze this hard.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I think you got to be real gentle. Well, what an episode of Side Stories. It was. Eddie, you know, live every day knowing for a fact that every single word that you said is being measured against you and that every single word that you're saying is being recorded into a Microphone for literally millions of people to hear. And you're going to love the fact that a lot of people are going to put pour over that, including members of your own government. They're gonna listen to your content, talking about common old ladies beating each other to death. And they're gonna be sitting for stuff to cancel me on. And that's none of the stuff that's gonna be canceled me on. So that's gonna be really, really funny. I want to go back about that. You can all we all laugh about this later on.

[Eddie]

I want you, the fans to start canceling us again. I'm sick of. You know, that's your job.

[Henry Zabrowski]

No, don't. Give them back. No, don't.

[Eddie]

But listen, if you want to cancel me and real life, I'm going to Madison. I got a gig I got to plug real quick. It's coming up in a couple weeks. I just booked it out of nowhere. After Milwaukee, I'm going to Madison and I'm going to do a show. I'm doing a standup show at comedy club on State. I'm very excited. That's going to be October 12th. I'm doing it with my buddy Logan Metz. He's going to play. He's. He use a piano player from Promise of the Real Lucas Nelson. Promise of the Real. He's going to open for me. We're going to perform together a little bit.

[Henry Zabrowski]

That's awesome.

[Eddie]

Yeah. I got like a legitimate rock star with me. It's going to be crazy. Make sure you come and see a Tickets are now available on eddytunes.com Also, Henry and I are coming to the matteo Community center two weeks after that on October, Friday, October 24, with Billy Wayne Davis. We're doing side stories in Humboldt.

[Henry Zabrowski]

We're gonna have so much fun.

[Eddie]

We did the show last year. This is our first repeat show together.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yes.

[Eddie]

You know, so this is where. This is the first time we're ever coming back to somewhere. That's how much fun we had.

[Henry Zabrowski]

And we're coming up. We're gonna have like.

[Eddie]

It's gonna be fun.

[Henry Zabrowski]

It's gonna be really fun.

[Eddie]

Yeah. So make sure you come out. The show is gonna be completely, completely different than it was last time because we don't remember what we said.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Nope. I was so stoned and I don't think. I think it's gonna happen again. But we're really, really excited. So come on out to Humboldt. If you're anywhere in the area, you can meet some of the. Some of the coolest people in the Goddamn world.

[Eddie]

They're all very cool. I love everyone up there.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Literally the best.

[Eddie]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Finest weed you have ever had in your whole life. I believe it's like Ridgeline Farms.

[Eddie]

Oh, Huckleberry Farm.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Ridgeline. There's Huckleberry Farms and Ridgeline Farms.

[Eddie]

They're both amazing.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Truly most delicious. Best weed.

[Eddie]

Blueberry caviar.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I need it back in my life.

[Eddie]

That white thorn rose. That shit's nice. I finally finished the weed.

[Henry Zabrowski]

You finished all of it?

[Eddie]

No, there's some left.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I need some.

[Eddie]

I got some good stuff. Not too much left. There's a little bit of the lance left.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I want that.

[Eddie]

I got some lance left. I want that. I love the lance.

[Henry Zabrowski]

All right. And also go check out our interview with gwar. It's actually more listener listenable than I thought. It was exclusively on YouTube.

[Eddie]

It's only on YouTube because the audience always difficult. They also. They are guar.

[Henry Zabrowski]

They're so visual medium. Yes.

[Eddie]

So go watch it on YouTube. Subscribe to our YouTube and all the other YouTube channels. We have so much going on over there. There's a lot coming out. It's got a lot of stuff in development that you're going to get. October is going to be a big month for us on YouTube.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah. Stay.

[Eddie]

Lot of locked in. We got so much coming your way. We're hit. We got new tour dates coming out soon for side stories and for my own standup and last. Last podcast and I left all the way through 2026. At least. @ least through July or something like that. So stay tuned. We got so much coming out. Oh, and thank you to. I got so many beautiful messages this week from like, dudes who played football.

[Henry Zabrowski]

So nice that you're getting nice messages.

[Eddie]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I haven't received a nice message in.

[Eddie]

So everyone just tortured you? I got so many dudes reach out to me and talk about how, like, they're so happy to hear another man talk about how football tortured them.

[Henry Zabrowski]

No, no, it's nice.

[Eddie]

Like. And like. So thank you. I. You are heard. And I love you guys. And there's two more Aaron Hernandez parts coming out. So stay tuned this week and next. I love you guys. Stay cool. And thanks for letting us put this out a day late also.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yes. But you liked it, right?

[Eddie]

Yeah. Get better, Damarino.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah, I guess we're all rooting for you, Danny. I mean, anything. Anything to. To distract. Anything to distract. Hail Satan, everyone.

[Eddie]

Hail Dan Marino again.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Be careful out there. Just what you're in Norman schools, their jobs.

[Eddie]

Robert Redford got out easy.

[Henry Zabrowski]

No, he literally just like no one thought about him.