Side Stories: Fake Children

Summary

Last Podcast On The Left – Side Stories: Fake Children

Date: June 10, 2026
Hosts: Henry Zebrowski, Eddie Pepitone
Podcast Network: The Last Podcast Network

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Episode Overview

This episode of "Side Stories" dives deep into the world of the bizarre, absurd, and darkly humorous headlines that have captured the hosts' attention. With signature irreverence, Henry Zebrowski and Eddie Pepitone riff on everything from facial hair trends, wild conspiracies about Michael Jackson and Epstein, high-profile missing scientists, extraordinary crimes, the "fake child" saga out of Brazil, and a scathing breakdown of the reality TV show "Summer House." Packed with tangents, raunchy asides, and unexpected wisdom, the episode is a whirlwind tour through humanity's strangest corners.

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Key Segments & Insights

1. Handlebar Mustaches & the Psychology of Facial Hair

[02:09–08:16]

• The show opens with a surprisingly intense debate about the merits—and perils—of the handlebar mustache.
• Henry: “The handlebar mustache is an exact example of a thing a man chooses. … If you have a handlebar mustache, I pretty much assume you are a non-union stunt rigger.” [03:43]
• Differentiation between the handlebar, Fu Manchu, and Western "droop" mustaches.
• Discussions about male grooming as “man makeup” and the social signaling of facial hair.
• Eddie: “Do any of those people have good jobs?” [05:53]
• Both have affection for ridiculous looks but agree the handlebar mustache signals "too much free time" or IPA aficionado energy.

2. Michael Jackson & Epstein Island Conspiracy

[09:14–20:03]

• The hosts lampoon a viral conspiracy that posits Michael Jackson was secretly rescuing children from Epstein Island to bring to Neverland Ranch to "save" them.
• Eddie: “So it has been…the Michael Jackson biopic came out, and everyone's loving it…” segues to conspiracy talk. [09:50]
• Henry satirizes what it would look like for Jackson to "shop for children" like backup dancers.
• They try to trace the origin via Epstein's files and clarify (with genuine skepticism) what’s actually photo-verified versus internet fantasy.
• Bring in security guard testimony debunking “Jackson at Epstein’s house” as credible.
• The conversation veers into showbiz history, Michael Jackson’s relationships with other celebrities, and comparisons between predators (Jackson/Epstein).

3. Recent Scientist Deaths & UAP Conspiracies

[26:23–36:53]

• The pair dive into reports about several scientists connected to NASA, Los Alamos, and aerospace research going missing or dying under “suspicious” circumstances.
• Report on Melissa Cassius, whose remains were found under vague circumstances—abandoned vehicle, laptop left behind, personal stress, potential suicide.
• Henry: “Why are all these high-pressure scientists doing that? Then why are they all know each other?” [29:22]
• Speculate about the risks of top-secret government work, alternative fuel technology, and “black budgets”—with references to Bob Lazar.
• Broader discussion on how social circles in scientific communities can lead to loose conspiracy webs.
• Eddie: “But the missing and dead scientist number is up to 12.” [34:37]
• Conclude: so far, most evidence points to tragic but unconnected events, not an orchestrated plot.

4. Brazilian UFO Sighting

[36:56–42:37]

• Henry is exuberant about viral UFO footage from Brazil featuring a hovering, lit-up disc observed by rancher influencer Mike Lyo.
• Henry: “This is truly one of the best. … I am talking about a video that makes me filled with wonder and delight again.” [37:17]
• Describe the animal behavior and “throbbing mechanical noise” associated with the UFO.
• Both marvel at Brazil as a “UFO hotspot”—joking about the aliens’ love for “carnival ass.”
• Technical questions about physical traces versus intangible phenomena: “Or is it entirely immaterial at all?” [41:17]

5. Notable Crimes: Looney Tune and Dexter-Inspired Killing

[46:06–53:47]

• Looney John Franklin Colb Tune: A man in Portland legally changed his name to "Looney Tune" but disappoints hosts by not looking the part; faces numerous felony charges after a wild police chase.
• Henry and Eddie mock his lack of commitment to true “Looney” aesthetics: “Why would you go through all this… [and] not do a fun, like, face tattoo?” [47:04]
• Lucas Jones & the ‘Dexter’ Vigilante: Young Florida man lured a sex offender via dating app, killed and dismembered him, kept a DNA slide as a trophy (“doing Dexter”).
• Eddie: “The reason they're calling him like Dexter is because he kept a slide of the guy's DNA.” [52:10]
• Hosts stress that while killing pedophiles may provide a certain justice-fantasy for some, it is neither practical nor ethical, and the perpetrator will spend his life in prison.

6. “Fake Children” and the Brazilian Orphan Scam

[58:10–64:16]

• Spotlight on Amanda Maria Saa de Oliviera, a 37-year-old who convincingly passed as a preteen to a pastor’s family in Brazil, complete with baby bottle, pacifier, and night terrors.
• Henry: “This is great. A woman…convincing a pastor and his family she was a 12-year-old girl. … How? She drank from a baby bottle, used a pacifier, faked night terrors…” [58:39]
• The scam involved fabricated stories of trafficking and medical abuse. Eventually, her true age/identity were uncovered.
• Dissection of how adults—especially religious do-gooders—can be manipulated by their own desires to “save” someone.
• Both hosts find “fake children” stories both hilarious and a scathing commentary on human gullibility.

7. Summer House Reality TV & the Ethics of Exploitation

[64:48–79:59]

• Eddie, reluctantly drawn into "Summer House" (shot in Henry’s hometown), deconstructs why he hates every character, especially "Kyle" and "West."
• A real-life murder of a cast member’s (West’s) grandmother by a cousin happened right before a reunion taping—a fact not disclosed during filming.
• Eddie: “Imagine being this big of a scumbag. Your cousin murders your grandmother, but you still show up to your reality television get beat on show.” [72:29]
• Critique of Andy Cohen as a “demon” who exploits the cast’s real traumas for ratings.
• Broader analysis on how reality television cultivates pettiness and validates shallow, toxic behavior for viewers.
• Both declare they'd rather hang out with actual serial killers than anyone from "Summer House."

8. Listener Emails & Human Interest

[80:58–89:44]

• Follow-up from last week: Horse girl explains that stabbed horses typically recover unless the trunk is penetrated; expensive equine medicine can keep horses alive in most injuries.
• Eddie shares family history about chronic bad luck and investing in racehorses.
• Heartwarming/prideful coming-out story from a listener (trans woman, successful workplace transition which awkwardly coincided with April Fool’s Day).
• Henry’s reflection: “Pretty much every person everywhere knows somebody in a true alternative lifestyle. … And you notice those guys—they're all fine with their local alternative person.”

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Notable Quotes

• Henry on mustaches: “I've put the beard on as man makeup because I've decided to and I can. … The reason why I have my mustache is because of the polarizing effect of my mustache.” [04:01]
• Eddie on facial hair: “Do any of those people have, like, good jobs?” [05:53]
• On the MJ/Epstein conspiracy: “Michael Jackson was going to Epstein Island buying children to rescue them and bring them back to Neverland Ranch where they'd be safe.” — Eddie [11:14]
• On reality TV: “Once you become a reality television star, you definitely sign a deal with the devil of show business itself where you are giving up a piece of your very soul for money.” — Henry [76:52]
• On “fake children” scams: “…just putting a Prada Lion King shirt on her and a baby bottle in her mouth does not make it. Does not a 12 year old make.” — Henry [63:25]

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Important Timestamps

• 02:09 – Mustache chat, facial hair psychology
• 11:14 – Epstein Island/Michael Jackson child rescue conspiracy
• 26:23 – Updates on missing/dead scientists & UAP conspiracies
• 36:56 – Brazil UFO sighting footage
• 46:06 – Crime round-up (Looney Tune, Dexter-style killing)
• 58:10 – Fake child scam in Brazil
• 64:48 – Summer House reality show roast and true crime overlap
• 80:58 – Follow-up: Horse stabbing & listener mail
• 87:35 – Coming-out story & reflections on acceptance
• 91:21 – New podcast announcement; show plugs

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Tone and Style

The episode is delivered in the signature Last Podcast On The Left style: caustic, unfiltered, and rapid-fire. The hosts veer from pointed social commentary to crude riffing, maintaining a blend of gallows humor and earnestness when addressing topics of trauma, conspiracy, and identity. They pull no punches on celebrities, TV figures, or the bizarre criminals of the week, but also find room for empathy—especially in listener stories.

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Useful For…

• Anyone curious about the latest in fringe news, wild conspiracies, and true crime oddities.
• Listeners seeking an irreverent, comedic take on headline horrors and pop culture absurdity.
• Fans of “Summer House” and reality TV—if only to see their favorite shows roasted by pros.
• Those interested in the phenomenon of "fake children" cases, recent scientist disappearances, and the modern UFO craze.

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For more, check out new Side Stories episodes on your favorite podcast platform, or subscribe to Last Podcast Network’s premium feed.

Transcript

[Henry Zebrowski]

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[Henry Zebrowski]

There's no place to escape to.

[Eddie Pepitone]

This is the lost on the left side stories.

[Henry Zebrowski]

That's when the cannibalism started. Side stories. Yes,

[Eddie Pepitone]

I can talk to you now. I'm done with my text messages and I may speak with you.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Who'd you text?

[Eddie Pepitone]

I was texting with Julie.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah. What'd you say?

[Eddie Pepitone]

We were talking about Summer House. We'll get into it later, though.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I. I'm already angry just, like, thinking about it. I know Eddie has brought this up. He has said he is the only person that could properly do Summer House slash, last podcast on left news coverage.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Yeah, man.

[Henry Zebrowski]

But you're saying that you. You know, there's a whole.

[Eddie Pepitone]

There's. There's content. We gotta talk. We will talk about it. We'll get to the. Towards the end. We have updates. We have updates.

[Henry Zebrowski]

We do.

[Eddie Pepitone]

We got all kinds of. But a lot of stuff. I think the most important issue of the day.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Is does anyone actually like the handlebar mustache? Okay.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I'd like to put this right here to everyone. We're gonna start this out hot. Okay. Welcome to side. You don't have.

[Eddie Pepitone]

No, no, not you.

[Henry Zebrowski]

No, no, not you. You have no idea. No, you have grows like this. Let's just talk about this.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Two different handlebars.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Let's start organized. Okay. Welcome to side Stories. My name is Henry Zabrowski. I'm sitting here with the properly bearded Ed Larson.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Hello. How are you?

[Henry Zebrowski]

Also, Rob, you don't have a handlebar mustache. You have what I call a Western droop. That is a normal droop. Mustaches are supposed to go down. I believe this. Okay, I'm sorry for everybody. I already know. But I. My friend who runs the Red Dot, who is one of the. Kim, who is one of the most wonderful, brilliant artists I have ever met. Truly incredible artist. Her husband has a handlebar mustache. And I don't know what happened there because she's so incredible. Her husband's a wonderful man. I don't know why he chose the handlebar mustache. Because what we were saying right before we were recording is that the handlebar mustache is an exact example of a thing a man chooses.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Now, I think we need to. Before we even go further, there are two types of handlebar mustaches.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Are there?

[Eddie Pepitone]

There's the one that goes straight down like this.

[Henry Zebrowski]

See, I don't know. Is that. Technically, I don't think it's a handlebar mustache. If it goes down.

[Eddie Pepitone]

No, that's also a handlebar mustache then. But you are specifically talking about the frilly one. The dynamite, the tie the girl to the. The. The. The railroad tracks.

[Henry Zebrowski]

If you have a handlebar mustache, I pretty much assume you are a non union stunt rigger. Yeah. If you have a handlebar mustache, I assume you are somebody that is running from allegations someplace else and is trying to hide. Right. Because what you'd have straight up here. This is a good example.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Fu Manchu is what I was thinking.

[Henry Zebrowski]

A Fu Manchu is different, but a Fu Manchu, like, okay, a horseshoe is okay, but Fu Manchu. Rob doesn't even have a full Fu Manchu because then go all the way down. I would do a Fu Manchu. I've done it. But I'm. I'm saying this to the. My boys. All right, we're starting hot here. Side stories lp Otl gmail.com. to me, it feels like if I like. How do you put this? Like the beard. I've put the beard on as man makeup because I've decided to and I can. Right when I have the mustache and I choose my mustache. The reason why I have my mustache is because of the polarizing effect of my mustache. I love the fact that people wonder if I'm a pilot, wonder if I'm a police officer. Full mustache. I love my fucking mustache.

[Eddie Pepitone]

We all know what your mustache looks.

[Henry Zebrowski]

And I love all mustaches. I was saying this, I'm going to pay Ed money to have a pencil thin mustache.

[Eddie Pepitone]

We'll see. We'll talk about it.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I'm going to pay. Imagine.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Worked up a price yet?

[Henry Zebrowski]

Imagine Eddie with a pencil thin mustache and tell me that that's not going to be the single funnest day of all of our lives when he's walking around with a pencil thin mustache. And how fun that will be if we put a big chef's hat on him and he walks around going,

[Eddie Pepitone]

I wish I had a pencil thin mustache.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I think you'd look amazing, personally. But the handle. But the thing about the handlebar mustache is it's a stubborn male choice. Much like how I, for a while I did Civil War hair. Right. I cut, I cut the, it's that very bottom middle one, the one where I cut the chin hair off and I just did the full. I did the full chops right. I did the full Civil War thing into the mustache. Into the mustache.

[Eddie Pepitone]

I love the way it looks, but it looks bad.

[Henry Zebrowski]

You know why you like it?

[Eddie Pepitone]

Because you're a man and it's stupid looking.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yes.

[Eddie Pepitone]

I enjoy things that are stupid looking. Yes.

[Henry Zebrowski]

And I like how other men look when they look stupid and when they make a choice to look stupid. Except for the handlebar mustache only just because to me it's telling me you got too much time. Clip off the edges. Be serious about the mustache. Everything else carries.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Yeah. Like what. Do you ever. Do any of those people have, like, good jobs?

[Henry Zebrowski]

I don't know. Because you have to, like, what does your husband do? You have to email me Side Stories. LPOTL gmail.com.

[Eddie Pepitone]

yeah. It's because it's. Here's the deal. Like, I know. Well, we might get a little heat for this, but we get heat for

[Henry Zebrowski]

every single thing we've ever said.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I don't really care.

[Henry Zebrowski]

No.

[Eddie Pepitone]

But yeah, no, it's silly and it's hard for me to take you serious. Like, if I'm hiring somebody to do something for me, whether it's like, write jokes or like fix my toilet and you show up with one of those curly mustache.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Get the out of my house.

[Eddie Pepitone]

I don't think you can do the job properly.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I don't want you again. You have to own. You have to be selling popcorn.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

The only way you have that handlebar mustache. And I'm going to take you seriously.

[Eddie Pepitone]

And if you do sell popcorn with the handlebar mustache, good on you.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Excellent. And also, truly, because we're not. I, we're Not IPA guys either. No, one of us. We don't like IPAs. We don't like the big heavy things. And we're like, I like a cocktail now.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Mustache.

[Henry Zebrowski]

It's an IPA mustache.

[Eddie Pepitone]

It really is. Now I know why we don't fucking jam with these fuckers.

[Henry Zebrowski]

There's something about it that doesn't mix with our lifestyle. And unfortunately, every time I see a handle more mustache, I just want to attack.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Yeah. I mean. And I think you're allowed to have it. Just know that this is how people might feel.

[Henry Zebrowski]

This how men feel. It's also why I kind of stopped clicking the Jordan.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Like, nice. Nice mustache.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah. Because they don't have the mustache. And they like seeing you walking around looking like an idiot.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Someone should have it.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Sure, if you work in the circus.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Yeah. What about if it's a different color?

[Henry Zebrowski]

Like, if someone dyes it disgusting again. Keep them. Don't let the mustache do all this work for you. Mustache is not a personality.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

All right. You have to be. I'm too much.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Personality give you personality.

[Henry Zebrowski]

No, it can't.

[Eddie Pepitone]

It can give you. It can make you more fun to look at.

[Henry Zebrowski]

It makes you a deterrent. It makes me angry at you.

[Eddie Pepitone]

No. For having a mustache.

[Henry Zebrowski]

No. A handlebar mustache.

[Eddie Pepitone]

A handlebar mustache. 1. I didn't do this. You. You came in hot like this.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I'm sorry, everybody. I love.

[Eddie Pepitone]

You're the one who came in.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I. I just thought. I love her, but everybody's upset already.

[Eddie Pepitone]

I mean, I just think that it's important to, you know, all mustaches. What about the Salvador Dali?

[Henry Zebrowski]

Nothing I love better than the Salvador Dali. It's different because it's a true affectation. And no one does the Salvador Dali.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Someone who's a painter, they're allowed to have the mustache.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah.

[Eddie Pepitone]

A professional bowler.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Professional bowler doesn't really have any standards.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Yeah, they can have the must.

[Henry Zebrowski]

They can do whatever they want. Well, yeah.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Ice cream salesman. As long as they don't have the truck and attracting children.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Oh, they what? They're just doing it on the street. This is a barista thing. Yeah, I see the hybrid. That's new. The hybrid mustache soul patch. That is a new. Like the Zappa is coming back.

[Eddie Pepitone]

You know what?

[Henry Zebrowski]

It's taking time for it to come back.

[Eddie Pepitone]

You know, it's a weird thing I've been doing lately. And this will. This will expose me. But. But I've been. Obviously, I need a beard trim and all that stuff, but I get rid of this.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah, people do that.

[Eddie Pepitone]

I get rid of the soul patch. And, like, I keep it empty. You know Why? I talk for a living. Not that it gets in the way. I just want people to see my lips because I mumble, you know? And, like. And so I. I'm mustard for the dick. It's like, literally. Yeah. So people could see me mumble, and then they might be able to understand me a little more if I'm mumbling.

[Henry Zebrowski]

You're a true ally. That's what this is about. He made a little mouth window. That's what he's saying. The Flavor Saver. That's what they call. But you know what? Hey, that's why you know. But you know who loved his Flavor Savers?

[Eddie Pepitone]

Who?

[Henry Zebrowski]

Jeffrey Epstein. Let's get in with an update. It's an island adventure. It's an island adventure. Heck, yeah.

[Eddie Pepitone]

It's Jeffrey time.

[Henry Zebrowski]

This one isn't a super thick update.

[Eddie Pepitone]

No, because kind of this one's actually. I think it's our first fun one.

[Henry Zebrowski]

You know, I like this one because this lives in a world of total fantasy. And it's. It's just like. This is a way to like, if this was true, everything be all right. Yeah, it's not. So. It's not. But it would be funny if it was all right.

[Eddie Pepitone]

So it has been with the. The Michael Jackson biopic came out, and everyone's loving it. It did. It's doing great.

[Henry Zebrowski]

People love it.

[Eddie Pepitone]

It's really. It's really like. It's. Honestly, it's made, like, $300 million.

[Henry Zebrowski]

It's because they crushing it because they did the smart thing, you know, like how every movie, you know, Goodfellas blow stuff. The first half's amazing.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

And then it's the fall, and you're like, oh, that's sad. What they did with the Michael Jackson movies. They understood, just do the good stuff.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Yeah, just do the good stuff. That's just like. Do they even have his father, like, beating him and shit?

[Henry Zebrowski]

I think he literally goes like, michael Owens knew you could dance. And that's the only thing he says.

[Eddie Pepitone]

I remember the Tupac movie was so bad. Oh, his mom's like, tupac, you go out there and you do your rapping.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I know that you're gonna rap your way out the hood. Tupac. That's of my favorite. My favorite ones.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

And it's just, like, played by a Native American woman, you know?

[Eddie Pepitone]

So the why this is going on is there's the famous. In the Epstein file drop. There's a couple pictures of Michael Jackson. There's the famous picture of Michael Jackson,

[Henry Zebrowski]

One of my favorite ones. Like a ghost, the super creepy one. That one is my favorite. I send that to my family and friends.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

So that's one of my favorite being like, guess who's coming. That's like one of my favorite new life bits I've been doing is guess who's coming out tonight. And then I said, in this picture, he's as white as the wall. He's a frightening. In this picture.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Yeah. No, he looks very scary.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Both of them.

[Eddie Pepitone]

I think it's on his. In his most unhealthy. So here's the deal with everything here. There is a conspiracy going around, which I don't believe, but I love the story very much so is that Michael Jackson was going to Epstein island buying children to rescue them and bring them back to Neverland Ranch where they'd be safe.

[Henry Zebrowski]

He's flipping kids.

[Eddie Pepitone]

So I was like, that's flipping kids. This is the conspiracy. And right when the Epstein files dropped, it came out a little bit and then it went away. But now that the docs out it's coming back out. A lot of people are saying it's true. A lot of. And it's obviously very ridiculous.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Well, I love the idea of, you know, Michael Jackson popping in little St. James, just going like, yeah, oh, definitely. I just gotta have some new potential backup dances for my new tongue back up going on.

[Eddie Pepitone]

He's like, yeah, absolutely.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Michael, let's go take a look at a couple of these. And then they go over and the mic is like, dance now. Okay, now moonwalk. Okay, okay, now lit. Now lean. Now keep leaning. Keep leaning backwards. No, now lean. Throw the hat. Okay, I take these four.

[Eddie Pepitone]

The other go.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I'm done with. I don't need to see those. And then all the kids are like, oh, my God, we're going with Michael to Neverland Ranch. And he's gonna save from having to be cocktail servers covered in sand.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Meanwhile, there's just like a loose chimpanzee.

[Henry Zebrowski]

They get into Neverland Ranch. He's like, okay, here you go. Easy room. Michael, why are you staying here? Stay room.

[Eddie Pepitone]

We all share the best. I can bell and kiss anyone gets close.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I just hear the kids just go, oh, no. But straight from the fucking pan into the llama's asshole. Man, that has got to be frightening. You get picked up like Michael Jackson.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

You go on one carousel ride and then you get your dick sucked, Man.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Where is that wild. Why is the Neverland Ranch? Like, reopen it. At least make it Like a haunted carnival.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I think there's a lot of people that are still super like upset about it.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

You know, let me see who.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Who owns it now.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Ron Burkle. Oh, you don't mean Ron Burkle doesn't want to.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Burkle. Come on.

[Henry Zebrowski]

You know Ron Burkel?

[Eddie Pepitone]

Yeah. What do you mean? I know Ron Burkel? Our guy. Who the you talking about? Billionaire investor in Yakapo company's co founder Rod Burle. Oh, God. Jesus. Dying in front of us.

[Henry Zebrowski]

That guy is.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Oh, he's with Diddy.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Oh, yeah. I love the first pictures. Him and Diddy.

[Eddie Pepitone]

There is no so funny.

[Henry Zebrowski]

You know, I like about that guy. He doesn't kids. Yeah.

[Eddie Pepitone]

No way. Burkle does it. Oh, he also produced the Michael movie.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah, he's quite smart.

[Eddie Pepitone]

So he's in on it. So. All right, so anyway, so the picture is. So Michael Jackson's security guard has come out and said, I was there when the picture was taken. We were going around and we. Michael wanted to buy a house in West Palm Beach. And so he was going to houses and looking at everyone's house. And then he went to. He was thinking about buying Jeffrey Epstein's house. And he said that every house that they went to go look at the person who owned the house wanted a picture with Michael.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Of course they do.

[Eddie Pepitone]

And so he ended up taking picture with like 10 people that day. Sure. The reason he wanted to buy his house is so he can live next to his best friend, Barry Gibb.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Oh, his favorite. Oh, that's really nice. And then they could get back and forth and they could eat like bone soup together and they could. They could Eiffel Tower, a couple of kids. I don't think he's done anything wrong.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Right.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Did Barry Gibb do anything wrong?

[Eddie Pepitone]

No, he's just normal Barry. He's just a bg.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah, he's just a bg, Right.

[Eddie Pepitone]

He's got cancer, that's all.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah. And like, you know, I could see him loving Epstein's place. He's got all the stuff he loves. He's got all the stuff he needs. He's got the medical chair. It's got the dentist area that he can get his propofol and get his milk. He's still kicking.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Oh, Gig. Still. Oh, the other Gib got cancer then. Anyway, so. So basically. And then. So Michael was only there in West Palm, not the island. The other famous picture was with Jeffrey Epstein, Bill Clinton, Michael Jackson and Diana Ross.

[Henry Zebrowski]

And that is just.

[Eddie Pepitone]

That's just like they were at A benefit together.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Can you even imagine what that dinner is like? Just silence. I just feel like you see in the four of the. Those four people sitting together at a table, Jeffrey Epstein, Bill Clinton, Diana Ross and Michael Jackson.

[Eddie Pepitone]

I gotta say, Jeffrey Epstein created the silence because I feel like the three of them would have had a great time.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Bill Clinton's a fun guy.

[Eddie Pepitone]

So is Diana. Diana Ross is kind of unbelievable. Is she? I love that.

[Henry Zebrowski]

You saw her live.

[Eddie Pepitone]

I saw her live last year and I couldn't believe how good it actually was. Wow, that's great. Yeah, yeah. She had like four costume changes. She was unbelievable.

[Henry Zebrowski]

But she gets it now. There. No, see, this is like the time

[Eddie Pepitone]

when they block out the children's faces. But it's already been said that the children are Diana Ross's children.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yes.

[Eddie Pepitone]

And so it's not even actual children. Like is that, you know, so it's. It's one of those type of situations.

[Henry Zebrowski]

No, Michael Jackson kept his activities inside of his own bedroom with the children that he was teaching at a dance. And that's the difference here, that he was just pedaling to himself. And that's, you know, EP scene. They kept saying, oh, he was just trafficking people to himself. He was not. Michael Jackson was. Michael Jackson was a one man shop. He did. Wasn't trying to pass these kids around because you know why he could jealous and he didn't want him to have him around. He got so angry thinking about Lindsey Graham, one of his boys. He didn't want to pedal them out.

[Eddie Pepitone]

So the reason this is back in the news is because Dan Reed, he's the guy who directed Leaving Neverland. Oh yeah, HBO documentary.

[Henry Zebrowski]

The one that. The sad one.

[Eddie Pepitone]

The sad one.

[Henry Zebrowski]

The super super sad one. The one that kind of featured like all of the exposes that the guys coming out.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Yes, I know. What I felt bad for was Finding Neverland. I thought that movie was great. Now everyone just thinks that that'.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Do you know what's funny though? Fighting Neverland's also about a child molester, isn't it?

[Eddie Pepitone]

I mean. No, it's about the guy who wrote Peter Pan. Is he a child molester?

[Henry Zebrowski]

Wasn't the guy who wrote. Who's the one though. Alice in Wonderland's the one, I believe. Continue.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Let's continue. I think it's the same guy. I don't care. I don't care about that fucking shit. Here's the deal. So Dan Reed. People have been people. So Dan Reed was like, hey, don't fucking talk like this. Michael Jackson is worse than Jeffrey Epstein. That was his statement that he came out with. And so when he came out with that statement, some of Michael Jackson's fans AI'd a photo of Dan Reed and Jeffrey Epstein together. Yeah, that you are. You are Epstein's friend. And then Dan Reed's like, no, that's not me. That's my face on Dome Chomsky's body,

[Henry Zebrowski]

which is the most hilarious body swap possible. If I could find out that I could be a direct body swap for Noam Chomsky. I'm quitting life.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Just.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Just disgusting. What a horrific body. Also, yes, there was a. Louvan Davies was the woman that was the. The dog. The JM Barry, who was the author of Peter Pan. He got way too close with the boys that the Peter Pan stories were based upon. And he adopted them and lived with them. And they also very Michael Jacksony. They kind of slept in the bedroom with him and did all the stuff. But he famously said he was asexual and he couldn't do it. And just like Michael Jackson said. And he just slept it. He slept with the kids because he loved the comfort of children.

[Eddie Pepitone]

So he. Yeah. And then he wrote a story about

[Henry Zebrowski]

going to an island filled with never changing boys. Oh my God. No matter what you do to him. And the best part about him is that they keep getting older, but they stay exactly the same. And that's what he loves. Nothing. JM Barry wanted more than a thousand year old little boy that he could suck. And a little boy can come right back at and do all sorts of fun things because he's actually a thousand years old.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Yeah. Well, I love Finding Neverland.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah, it's a good movie. Oh, he had a handle. He had a western style. He had a western style mustache. Again, it's different. Before the whole thing changed. Culture change and shifted. So Michael Jackson didn't save the children.

[Eddie Pepitone]

We don't know.

[Henry Zebrowski]

We don't know for certain. But I'm gonna say Michael Jackson was busy. I don't think he was like, he had enough kids.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Still stands by him.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah. He did molest Macaulay Culkin.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Macaulay Culkin.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah. He did molest the most famous child of all. You're right.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

He also didn't moles the. Technically Corey Feldman. He didn't molest. Yes, but who else was. Was molested by everybody else. And then he also.

[Eddie Pepitone]

It is crazy. Corey Feldman's like, everybody, me. But Michael Jackson.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Michael Jackson. Which is why he's continuing to try to sound like Michael Jackson.

[Eddie Pepitone]

All right.

[Henry Zebrowski]

And then there Was Elizabeth Taylor. Why'd you think? Is the only person who actually got molested by Michael Jackson as an adult?

[Eddie Pepitone]

Yeah, well, Diana Ross was Michael Jackson's buddy.

[Henry Zebrowski]

And Elizabeth Taylor was there for her wedding. Wedding.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Oh, well, everyone, Elizabeth Taylor's wedding.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Dude, he was her best man about this. He was her best man.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Oh, was he?

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah. Look up the picture of Elizabeth Taylor. Michael Jackson. I'll show you marrying. He was the best man while she was married, I believe was David Getty. The guy that was like, he's famously gay and he's just like. He's this look on his face because, like, he was like big old. Like this, this. Look at this. Look at the way he's looking at her when she's watch. He gags as soon as they kiss. Watch in the background. Yeah, he pretends to gag. He's very kill. Yeah, he's very silly looking.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Cute.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Why is he framed in the shot? Because he's put himself in the frame.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Jackson makes it a better shot. You put Michael Jackson in a picture, it's a better picture. That's good directing by the wedding photographer.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I will say though, he does go right.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Right.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Like I do find that Ghosh wouldn't go right for the tongue in the wedding kiss. You know what I mean?

[Eddie Pepitone]

Yeah, well, he's, you know, he's trying to prove.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Oh, that's Liza Minnelli, by the way. God damn it.

[Eddie Pepitone]

It's Liza Minnelli. That makes a lot more sense.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah, but he's friends. He was friends with Elizabeth Taylor.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Everybody was friends with Elizabeth Taylor.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Not everybody.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Well, everyone in Hollywood.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Well, anybody get close to her?

[Eddie Pepitone]

Yeah, man, I complained about this on the show before. When she shut down Disney when I was there. That. All right, here we dead ass.

[Henry Zebrowski]

You know what, Eddie? I'm with you. I'm with you. Her. Absolutely a hater. Do you ever find out that you had a subscription to pickleball court admissions? I realized I did that once and I've. I've done hideous things to my friends and family, but nothing I regret more than downloading an app. App to register for a pickleball court. That is the single most embarrassing thing. I'd rather have UCI of naked pictures of my father in my wallet. Okay? That's the only thing that's tricky. Keeping track of where your money going can be tricky. That's where rocket money can help. Rocket money helps you keep track of your subscriptions. Naked pictures of your father and makes it easy to cancel the ones that you're no longer using. And With Rocket Money, you can build budget set saving goals. Find out when you can take another naked picture of your father. You can also use those naked pictures of your father as a sort of like the tops of the columns of the app so you can see where you've left off. I don't know if that's an option, but you can get real time alerts for big purchases and bills. That's something Rocket Money can do. Rocket Money is a personal finance app that helps you find and cancel unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings. Let Rocket Money help you reach your financial goals faster. [e-mail] LPOTL that's RocketMoney.com LPOTL RocketMoney.com LPOTL this podcast is brought to you by Squarespace. Squarespace is an all in one website platform that helps you stand out online. Yes, that's right. You don't have to smash your face with a hammer. You can just start a business. It's got everything you need on Squarespace, from securing your domain to building a professional site and showcasing your work all in one place. Let's say you want to show everybody how you can carve your ribs out of your lower abdomen so that you look more like a Ken doll. That's amazing. You can bring your vision to life with AI powered design or curated templates, plus flexible editing tools that helped you create something that truly reflects your style. Now, especially if you are somebody that is trying to corrupt the young men of America, that's what Squarespace is really going to help you. Squarespace makes it easy. It makes it easy for you to put all that together and you just go to Squarespace and do it all. Thanks, Braden. Head to squarespace.com left for a free trial and when you're ready to launch, use offer code left to save 10 off your first purchase of a website or domain. This is a paid ad by BetterHelp. Oh, I work myself to the bone. You should see my bones. Thick yet small. And when I work really hard, I can see my bones. I work down to the knee bone, the foot bone, and even down to my mind bone. And that's one of the hardest parts is when you get down all the way to the nitty gritty of your mind bones. Because not everyone thrives when life gets busy. You might catch yourself feeling drained even during things you usually enjoy, like skeet shooting or feeling bones. And realize you've been pushing yourself more than you need to. And you have. I can Tell I'm looking at you and I love you. It's important to take care of yourself when things get busy by resting, recharging and saying no when you need to. Like I almost said no to doing an ad today, but I didn't because how important it is for you. Therapy can be a good way to get out of autopilot. Get a solid reset and therapy with better help may help you better understand your needs, feel more confident setting boundaries and creating a rhythm that feels sustainable like this. BetterHelp is the world's largest online therapy platform. Just take a short questionnaire to identify your needs and Preferences and BetterHelp will handle the initial therapist matching work for you. You can also feel confident knowing betterhelp therapists work according to a strict code of conduct and are fully qualified. Take a pause with therapy. Better help can help life feel manageable again. Sign up and get 10 off at betterhelp.com LastPod that's better. H-E-L-P.com LastPod

[Eddie Pepitone]

Here we go. Here we go.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Here we go.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Here we go. Eddie. Oh, by the way, to close out the Epstein update, Trump. Fuck kids. Yeah, he does. Eddie would still to put that in there.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah. I just remember that he would still be doing it if he could perform sexually.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Yeah. Now he's the one in diapers.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah. It's kind of fun in that way. So he's getting put up his ass and one day he will die very, very soon.

[Eddie Pepitone]

All right, we have normal updates.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yes, we do. So what we have here is the, the missing scientists, the whole NASA like missing science, all these things attached to the UAP phenomena is kind of like it's still there, there. And it's not getting any clearer with. Especially with this new news. Now we know that that Cash Patel came out and said straight up, there is no conspiracy around all of these missing scientists. And I actually can't help but sort of agree really only just because if

[Eddie Pepitone]

you look at it's all so fishy.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yes, it's wildly fishy. That's the problem is that it's only fishy without any real connective tissue yet. Because the things that are starting to come out like we now know that the McCaslin, that general, he's still missing.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Yes.

[Henry Zebrowski]

These other one other scientists still missing. All the other ones that died in these like various very unusual ways. But the one that is. Now we have a new update. We have an update on one of the missing scientists, Melissa Cassius, who's 54 years old, who worked at Los Alamos. Her remains have just been found. Which was. They found the car and they found her abandoned right out in the middle. They found her out there in the middle of the desert. They found a handgun. And so now they're trying to decide whether or not they. The gun belonged to her. Because there was no indication that she had had a gun before. Yeah, now we're looking at, trying to see.

[Eddie Pepitone]

There's no indication that she even left her car.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Well, her car was left behind with these laptops in it and all of her personal information. Keys in the ignition.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Someone smashed a boulder through the back window.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yes.

[Eddie Pepitone]

And the last, she had a burner phone that was unopened.

[Henry Zebrowski]

She was apparently going to do this mountain climbing trip. He was trying to hit this one specific.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Alone.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Alone.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Which is weird.

[Henry Zebrowski]

And her family already said that she was suffering from extreme stress right before all of this went down. So she was suffering from extreme job stress, personal stress. So I'm not saying it's definite, but she dropped off everybody. Like she did. Like the, her, her last days were really interesting because she dropped off her kids and then she was going to go to work. She dropped off her husband at work. And then she just said, I'm actually left my ID at home, I'm gonna go home and get my id. She drives home, she tells her daughter, I'm actually gonna work from home. And then the next video stopped.

[Eddie Pepitone]

She stopped at her daughter's school on the way home.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yes.

[Eddie Pepitone]

And brought her like a sandwich or some.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yes. And then she came home and then she basically packed up her stuff into the car, drove away. And then the last person who saw her was somebody helping her on the side of the road when her car broke down. So they were helping her with the car. This is before the rock was smashing it. But according to the. The people that stopped there, they were like, well, we didn't, we didn't quite see. We don't know whether or not the boulder had already smashed in her window at that point or why. But she was saying to them, like, get it all wrapped up, let's go, I want to get going. And they're like, you know, it's almost night time, you should probably find a place to stop. And she's like, I'm going to get to the top of that mountain no matter what. And she said like, she was obsessed with getting some mountain the top of this local mountain. And so I actually think it's quite. It makes a lot of sense if she committed suicide, but it's also. Why, why are all of these high pressure scientists doing that. Then why are they all know each other? Well, they are like one degree of separation from each other and some of them know each other. Like it's just a small world. It's like if you're in the, the, the physics world and the, in the mechanics world, like especially this type of like top secret. It's a small world.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

So they all kind of are tangentially connected. There's the other story of this woman, Ingred.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Colin Lane.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yes. Colleen Lane. This is another one that was by

[Eddie Pepitone]

the way, if you name your daughter Ingrid, she's gonna be a scientist.

[Henry Zebrowski]

It just has to be, say, Harriet, Helen. They're gonna become one. This was a lady that I went on a silent retreat.

[Eddie Pepitone]

A meditation routine.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah. But she said it was for silence. That's why I looked up. So she was silent and she left the retreat early. She was a scientist. Another person that. Laptops all in the, in the, in the car and all this kind of thing. Yep.

[Eddie Pepitone]

So it's the same type of story.

[Henry Zebrowski]

But why are they doing it? Why are they trying to kill? Like, what exactly is the point?

[Eddie Pepitone]

A lot of them. Did they. Did they all work at Los Alamos?

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yes. And some of them did like this.

[Eddie Pepitone]

They worked with UFO and they also worked.

[Henry Zebrowski]

We don't know if they. What they did a lot of them work with. Yes, they did work in the aerospace industry, missile industry, that. The anti gravity industry. Like this idea of creating new fuel types. That's main. One of the things that they're working on is that is like legitimately alt flight fuels.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Which is literally. That's also one of those things. If we were going to take something

[Eddie Pepitone]

from a uap, I mean that'd be very cool.

[Henry Zebrowski]

But if you believe the lore, like if you believe. Believe the Bob Lazar of it all and think that we've been working on this for a long time, then it. Why would it come to a head now? You know what I mean? Like if we've been working on this since 1947.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Like why is it all coming to a head now? Now what is. Like we already said Bob Lazar was saying that even that while they were trying to retroactively work on the UFOs, if you do believe that is real, that it might have killed several engineers just working on it. So it also would make sense to me if the whole thing's dangerous. Like if the whole thing's dangerous and the whole process is dangerous, it might actually talk about the. Like, let's say it's all real. Like let's say there's one side of this and it's all real. And there is an actual black program that we have been working on doing this shit with UFOs for a long time and we've never fully cracked it. Like let's say we never. And now we're kind of sorting. We're starting to finally get over the lip of making things that look like the thing.

[Eddie Pepitone]

I could think that it's very. It's even easier and simpler than that that they might have cracked an alternate energy resource that wouldn't. That would kill the oil industry.

[Henry Zebrowski]

But this is also one of those things I've never understood of like then why doesn't the oil industry just get in on it and be the make that the new oil industry. I've never understood that.

[Eddie Pepitone]

They're in too deep with the other shit.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Just fucking change.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Why don't the tobacco companies grow weed? I don't fucking know.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Let's not start that.

[Eddie Pepitone]

You know, because it's going to be bad.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Design the infrastructure to be supported by oil and buy these things and if you're going to try to change the whole game, they have to change their whole infrastructure. Maybe, but this is. But if it's literal alien technology, wouldn't we change it for the. That versus just stuff that we're making in a lab. So I'm just saying if it's all real.

[Eddie Pepitone]

So NASA scientist Monica Jacinto Reza she went missing while hiking last year in California.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Our scientists bad at hiking all side.

[Eddie Pepitone]

I think we should. We need to like get together and like buy all these scientists treadmills.

[Henry Zebrowski]

We honestly we need pelotons. Peloton has got to get involved here. Someone's got to get. We bring them inside. But no, I But shot in their own home scientists.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Why they get shot in their own home.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Here's my original kind of pitch is if you're already working on highly theoretical potentially dangerous technology, it might take a type of person. It might take much like how the CIA, which I do believe and I hate when people kind of shoo shoo me on this because I fucking have had CIA guys tell me this is fucking real. That they bring in unreliable people on purpose to. That's the point.

[Eddie Pepitone]

That's Bob Lazar.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yes. You're bringing in an unreliable person on purpose so that no one will believe a per thing that they say. That is the point of it. So I think that if you're having this type of technology it makes sense you'd bring A couple of the crazy guys in. Instead of having it just be all the boilerplate scientists with shit that you have to go put them in front of a board of directors and have them do all this. And like, you know, if you're making space shuttles, you have to like talk to the. You can't just have Edward Nygma from Batman Forever working on that. Right. It has to be. That guy's got to be behind a bunch of paywalls, behind a bunch of places you can't get to. And that guy might every once in a while flip out and fucking blow his brains out. I don't know. That could also very well be it.

[Eddie Pepitone]

But the. The missing and dead scientist number is up to 12.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah. Or it depends on. You see it's accordions in and out. Because it depends on which. When do you want to decide it begins and doesn't? Because there's some lists.

[Eddie Pepitone]

2023.

[Henry Zebrowski]

That's where there. Some lists. Take it all the way back to 2022 do.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

For me, I'm looking at the ones in the last two years. If I'm look, if there's a. If we're saying that there's a rash of missing scientists, it would be the one that is clumped up right now.

[Eddie Pepitone]

How come no scientists that knew these people are coming out and saying they are thing.

[Henry Zebrowski]

They are, they are just not really. If you look at it, there's many of the family scientists are actually saying they're extremely upset that their families have been dragged into a conspiracy theory. They're really. Most of them have basically just said. Said for the large part that there are simple explanations for most of these and largely it seems to be suicide and accident. So right now it's like. So the families are devastated. Devastated. They don't do about it. The public's confused. We have the worst people in the world in charge of this disseminating information. Which is making it even worse. If you [e-mail] they decided to put out a thing where they just. Which is what I said. Said. Which is what I fucking said.

[Eddie Pepitone]

You did. You did say it about the UAP

[Henry Zebrowski]

footage, which was a thing to flip to ice and the idea of getting rid of people, getting rid of humans. Right. So that's exactly what they used it for. So that's why it's. That's why it sucked. That's why the file drop sucked, guys. It sucked because it was just a way for them to pitch ice.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Again. So we. We're looking at. Is that it's extremely confusing. And then one of the. The worst parts about it right now is the fact that every. Every outlet I read puts it at a different parameter. Like, puts it at a different start point.

[Eddie Pepitone]

So.

[Henry Zebrowski]

So, you know, the FBI, if they are indeed working for some hidden group within the government, is doing a great job.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Yeah, well, the FBI, you know, they're suspect right now.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Oh, yeah, they are. Literally, I would say. I would consider them a foreign body inside of the United States of America. America at this point, like, literally, I would consider them not an actual agency inside of America. They're something else. Yeah. And they're doing whatever they want. So good luck.

[Eddie Pepitone]

What do you think about this Brazil ufo?

[Henry Zebrowski]

This is fascinating. So let's take a look at this footage and we pull this up. This is. This is truly one of the best. I don't care. So in the spirit of this footage. In the spirit of this. I am talking about a video. Video that makes me filled with wonder and delight again. Now, this came out of the mountains of Southern Brazil. The witness, Mike Lyo. All right? Now, he was doing. He was like, filming stuff around his property, as you can imagine, right?

[Eddie Pepitone]

He.

[Henry Zebrowski]

He said all of a sudden he was an influencer.

[Eddie Pepitone]

He's a garden influencer.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Hey, he's hot, right? He's hot. Resilient, right? Good mustache. So he. He's a rancher. And out of nowhere, while he was filming his lands, he said he notices animals were getting super, like. Like, restless, very alert. A lot of barks and yaps. And then all of a sudden, you. I know. No. God.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Henry, are you auditioning right now? Is this, like. That is unbelievable.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I often been going in for groups of animals. I thought.

[Eddie Pepitone]

I thought someone opened the door and a bunch of goats got in here.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Nope. I'm a regular.

[Eddie Pepitone]

I'm so impressed. I'm a regular.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Who's the fat guy from the fucking Fat guys that does the beats? Oh, my God, the fat boys. The guy who does the beats.

[Eddie Pepitone]

The human beatbox.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I'm him. Yeah, right. I'm him.

[Eddie Pepitone]

By the way, this guy is very hot.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Oh, he's very attractive.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Yeah. So what do you think about his mustache?

[Henry Zebrowski]

That's what I said.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Is it down too low?

[Henry Zebrowski]

No, his mustache is perfect.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

As a masculine, full mustache.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Yeah, it is a good mustache. It's a nice mustache.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Is a Tom Selleck mustache.

[Eddie Pepitone]

It's such a nice mustache. He doesn't need a shirt.

[Henry Zebrowski]

He doesn't need a shirt. It covers. It covers the shirt he's missing. So he said that once he had seen this, he said. And then he heard like a throbbing mechanical, rhythmic like noise throughout the valley. Kind of sound like wow.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

He then began to film this object. Now if you look at it, it's thick. It is a disc. It is.

[Eddie Pepitone]

It's blurry as all. But it looks good.

[Henry Zebrowski]

It is solid as all fucking. It is. It's big. Very large. Yeah. And it has lights running all the way around it. Now those lights are really. Now the thing that makes this video particularly good is that you will watch it move. So you're sitting and you're watching it hover. It's hovering. It is one. It is extremely disturbing.

[Eddie Pepitone]

And it was there all day.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yes. And they said eventually the. He watched it land, see it moved. See how it moved up the mountain range. And it's just sitting there. That is truly haunting, that is. And Brazil, like as we know might be the UFO hot spot of the world.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Yeah. Cuz they are the ones who claim they got in like a war with aliens.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Many of them Virginia. In Virginia. And they are truly, it is like an epicenter of UFO activity. And it's been that way for a very long time. And maybe it's just because.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Love ass.

[Henry Zebrowski]

It's the ass. Ass. I was going to say that. Eddie. You got ahead of me, but you knew exactly what I was going for. It's all that luscious, luscious, incredible Brazilian carnival ass. And those aliens know what's up. And I get it because they don't have asses where they're at. Think about that. You live a world with no. No tits, no butts, no penis, nothing. No.

[Eddie Pepitone]

So I think the name Zabowski.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Tron, you know, think about how sad is that? No, Mustach, they don't have mustaches. Grays don't get to have them. No, not so they go to Brazil and they get to see some mustaches and collect them. So that is. So we're. We're still here, aren't we folks? Right here. Smack dab between one of the most corrupt organizations we've ever witnessed as a human population here and the ever mysterious phenomena that doesn't care what we do do, does it now?

[Eddie Pepitone]

But here's the thing though. If it landed in the middle of the woods, it doesn't make sense to me because it's such a big ship. Like it wouldn't have been able to land without. Without like destroying a bunch of trees.

[Henry Zebrowski]

It's very possible, but. Yeah. Or is it entirely material at all?

[Eddie Pepitone]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Does it disappear? Does it get kind of wiggly wiggity.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Wiggity wiggity is how you're going to explain it.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yep. It's a ufo, bro. What am I supposed to say? It doesn't fly away either. No, it doesn't. No. It does feel like you could see.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Someone should go look for it.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah. Go find out what it sounds like. It's out in the middle of nowhere. That's the reason why I didn't go out there. But you know, you know why they go. If you believe how many times we've seen these UFO stories where they send, like, guys down to kind of hunt for things on the ground. Like when they did the alien robot story or the like. Well, sometimes they'll, like, drop a line into a lake or something and suck up water. That's a thing that they do.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Oh, yeah, yeah. Maybe they run on water. Maybe floating data centers.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah, I mean, h. Hopefully our data centers. Oh, I wish. So the LPN data center will be opening up very soon. I just want to say thank you to everybody. It's really big for us.

[Eddie Pepitone]

I mean, physically big.

[Henry Zebrowski]

The Kickstarter went great, and we've been so excited about the response that we got that we decided to open up a second data center. It's going to be in Oahu. Yeah, we. That is what I'm really excited for. We're real. We're. We've built up a whole bunch of infrastructure around Aahu and the Galaic. And I'm really happy with our. I think our data center at the Galapagos is great because we painted a turtle on it.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Yeah, yeah. What's good about that one is it's. We're creating something called Spay Eye where we're just neutering all the animals in the Galapagos.

[Henry Zebrowski]

And the best part, the water. All it takes is a hooked knife. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's just this hook knife. I bring the island here. We have another update. Nick Reiner wants his 1.5 million dollar trust fund. Good luck.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Yeah, I know. He wants his $1.5 million trust fund so he can buy his defense attorneys. And here's the deal. I hate him. He definitely did it, but he's not convicted yet.

[Henry Zebrowski]

That is the problem, is that he's

[Eddie Pepitone]

like a weird little loophole.

[Henry Zebrowski]

It is. He's not guilty yet. He technically is innocent until proven guilty.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

And that is the only argument he has is like, how would you know if I killed him until I'm proved fucking guilty? Even though you're the only one that everybody Everybody knows he did it and he confessed to it and you did it. And now you're just being a. Because you're a. Yeah, you're.

[Eddie Pepitone]

You're crazy ass brother who's been a problem your whole life, kills your parents.

[Henry Zebrowski]

You're very famous, loving, beautiful, famously kind, famously incredible.

[Eddie Pepitone]

They take in people who they don't even know and like, change their lives.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Change your life. Nick Reiner. Try to give you a fucking movie to direct. Try to do lots of stuff for your untalented fucking ass. And I'm sorry. Didn't take.

[Eddie Pepitone]

God, that movie was bad.

[Henry Zebrowski]

You suck, Nick. You fucking suck. You suck. You suck as a convicted murderer. You suck as a non convicted murderer. You're not a good director. You're not a good actor. You got nothing, bro. You're the fucking least talented human being in the whole Reiner family. You suck, dude. You killed the only people that are gonna give you a shot. And guess what? Now you're gonna fucking get murdered in jail. Because everybody loves Princess Bride. Even ra. Even rapists and murderers love Princess Bride. And you killed the guy that did it. And they're gonna come for you, you idiot.

[Eddie Pepitone]

My name's Nick Reiner. I killed my own father. Prepared to die. You are.

[Henry Zebrowski]

That's why they're mad at you, buddy.

[Eddie Pepitone]

It's not gonna happen. But after all of this, he's stealing $1.5 million from his brother and sister.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I doubt it's gonna happen. I doubt. I think that they are gonna figure out a way to like loop, fold

[Eddie Pepitone]

around it, push it long enough to the trial.

[Henry Zebrowski]

That's kind of. I think, think that's partially that. I think that they. I believe how it works too, is that there's a certain amount of time. Please. Side story is lpgmail.com. i just start conjecturing on law stuff. Then people like, like, what the are you talking about? Yeah, I do think that. Let me ask. Can he do that? Can he push all the way through this process or is at some point is a judge going to be like, I don't care what they decide. We're doing this trial Now. I do believe sometimes it's like. Like that. But I will ask the audience. Because they're always right, Eddie.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Yes, they usually.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Except when they're wrong.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Oh, well, you know.

[Henry Zebrowski]

And then I tear you a new one, don't I?

[Eddie Pepitone]

Well, a lot of times when the people write in, we. We have to take it all with a grain of salt. Because they're like, I'm a lawyer and I just have to believe it, honestly.

[Henry Zebrowski]

And I do.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I don't have to.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Fuck it.

[Henry Zebrowski]

That's it. That's me. I'm Joe Rogan.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Here we go. We're updates. Let's hear this next story.

[Henry Zebrowski]

The only reason why I'm covering this is because it's a funny topic title. And I just think it's funny to go up this far to change your name, but don't change your look. So this happened in Portland. Makes a lot of sense.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Man by the name of Looney Tune. He's arrested after a Milwaukee Franklin Cold Tune. So he legally changed his name to Looney John Franklin Colb Tune. Right. So he is legally Looney Tune.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Yes.

[Henry Zebrowski]

And so he had already had. I guess he had already had a bunch of warrants out for his arrest. Arrest. And he was pulled over for a traffic stop. He had a female passenger in the video. He. They tried to stop him by putting spike strips in the back of the car. He said it. He drove through the spike strips, nearly hit a bunch of police, drove off, fired his gun at the police, blah, blah, blah. Obviously probably had drugs in there. We'll find out. But he did say.

[Eddie Pepitone]

I'm sorry, he has 16 former felonies.

[Henry Zebrowski]

He does. He does. And he is, let's just say, a lot. He's in character.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Is someone I. I like to stick up for everybody. That's a lot.

[Henry Zebrowski]

It's a lot of felonies.

[Eddie Pepitone]

A lot of felonies. I would just.

[Henry Zebrowski]

The one thing about him, too, is I would say, like, I think it's funny because you look at his, like, his mug shot. Nothing looney about him. Why would you change your name to Looney Tune and not do a fun, like, face tattoo or do like a fun, like. Like. Like kind of like a theme or something like. That's the only reason why I'm, like, upset because, like, at first I was like, oh, man, Looney Tune's gonna look funny as hell. Yeah. And then I looked up as mug shot, and I was like, this is a waste.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Why would you go through all this? Because that's the hardest part is going through the courts to change your name.

[Eddie Pepitone]

He's got the white glasses.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah, but that doesn't let. Doesn't make you loony. He looks like the cake boss.

[Eddie Pepitone]

A lot of people get white glasses instead of a personality.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Well, that's the thing. It's like a handlebar mustache, funny glasses.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Interesting.

[Henry Zebrowski]

It's like a fun thing. You wear funny glasses, and then all of a sudden you're like, oh, I'm crazy. It's like. It's what every. It's a professional chef thing.

[Eddie Pepitone]

I like crazy sunglasses.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Crazy sunglasses are great. Always. Always. And I don't even come down on them. It's just more. Just understand that, like, a pair of glasses doesn't just make you loony. You know how he'd be loony? It's if he was in that jail cell and had Groucho glasses on, then he'd be looney. Then I'd be like, that's a loony, funny guy. Oh, look at him. He brought his own funny little props into jail. He put Groucho classes up his ass. You wanted himself with a hat. That is what I want. Big white gloves.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Yeah. I want them to get packages from Acme.

[Henry Zebrowski]

That is what I want. Your name's Looney Tune. I want you to have a roll out. Fake, like, I think it puts a

[Eddie Pepitone]

cake shaped like a saw.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Oh, yeah. They'll be like, God damn it, Looney. You know, like pulling all the files out. Pulling the. The giant ticking bomb out of the cake. Yeah, buddy, but that's like. That's why I'm just being like, you know, like, he let down as a people. He let me down.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Oh, man. So I. I got a story. I rarely enjoy stories sent to me from people, sure. And. But this one, I don't. This flew under our radar. I hadn't heard about this at all. To me, this should be front page on every newspaper. This story is from May 20. So it is a slight. It's a couple weeks old. But. But once I heard about it, I was like, what the. So this guy, all right, Lucas Jones, he's a young man. He's. He's 19 years old. He's accused of dumping suitcases with human remains in Palm Bay's compound area. And he has now been indicted for murder. All right, normal story. Guy kills somebody, puts. Puts them in a suitcase. You know, it's Palm Bay. I lived in Palm Bay for a short period of time. Very Florida. It's a bad place. I did not enjoy it. You know, I was a child. But, you know, what are you going to do? So the reason this is interesting is because Lucas Jones killed Coley Lee Daniel. Who's Coley Lee Daniel? Seems like just a normal guy. He was a registered sex offender. Does that mean he should be murdered? No, but he was, and he found him. And then what happened is Lucas started courting him on a dating app, and he started. And he, like. He, like, found out who this Guy was. And he, so he, and he started courting him and then he, he knew he was a sex offender and then they went and met up and then he beat him to death with a baseball bat.

[Henry Zebrowski]

See, this guy is doing the like it's hard to do, you know, like we got it like just straight up even from last week's story. We talked about bricks and minifigs. Right. You had to stop showing it. You can't harass the places because bricks of minifigs has got nothing to do with it. Same thing with this where we're like, I can't tell you to go kill pedophiles. Okay. I can't recommend that you go and groom pedophiles and then invite him out to like areas and beat him to death. Okay, I can. But I will say if we're gonna do it to one person, that's fine. I think it's okay to do it once or twice. So he's going to jail, as he should.

[Eddie Pepitone]

So Jones, he dismembered the body using a cleaver, a saw, a knife. And then he helped. And he forced his girlfriend to help him transport the remains. And they, he just threw it in the like, kind of like on swamps of Palm Bay, which is next to Melbourne. There's a lot, it's just a lot of marshland around there. And they, the cops found a bunch of vultures circling and then they found the body.

[Henry Zebrowski]

This is what I also like recommend too. Don't murder a pedophile. Psychologically torture a pedophile. Like I don't. So this is my other, my other big tip here is like, don't murder him. Do stuff like take a gun, fill, you know, block his mailbox. Yeah. Slash his time tires, you know, like, do stuff like that. Like put lots of like dog filled bags on fire on his front stoop. Yeah, that's like totally on the, that's on the table.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Yeah, you can do all of that.

[Henry Zebrowski]

It's all stuff you could do. You could steal his license plates, you could break his windows and stuff like that. That's again, that's fine. It's not murder.

[Eddie Pepitone]

See this guy, Lucas Jones, he is seems, it seems like he is crazy. He got in trouble for almost killing some friends for driving wr recklessly recently. And he's. They've been worried. They said he should have been put in jail for that, but he wasn't. But here's the deal. The reason they're calling him like Dexter is because he kept a slide of the guy's DNA Yeah, he's just doing it now. He kept like a micro microscope slide of the guy's DNA.

[Henry Zebrowski]

It's not good, man.

[Eddie Pepitone]

So he was obviously influenced by Dexter.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Oh, yes, very much so. And he had plans to do more.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Yes. And he had a list of other pedophiles that he was going to kill. You know, he got caught after the first one.

[Henry Zebrowski]

He's just not. He's super not good at it. He was super not good at it. And that's why you got to put more time and thought. And I'd say you got to. You know what I'd say it's wrong with the generation before us is what I was saying, man. I got to read. Got to read some books. I feel like if you read more books, it'll. You'll read murder based books.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Yeah, I know. Yeah. Just watching SVU is not enough. It's not going to get you out of the crowd because guess what?

[Henry Zebrowski]

Those T rote TV rights writers know nothing. They know.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Well, they do hire lawyers to be on the show.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yes. But still they don't give a. You got to read the books. Read some books. Get some full large farm at learning in there because that's going to help you do the things you want to do.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

And all the other. Yeah, 19. He's stupid. He's going to jail for the rest of his life. And that does suck. But I will say in jail, I think people will like him. Will he go to jail for the rest of his life though, for this? Probably give him like 20 years and then he'll. Oh, no, it's premeditated for degree murder.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Yeah, he's going to Florida. They still have the death penalty.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah, he's. He. I think he's going to get life in prison. Love pedophiles in Florida. They love them. It's like their favorite thing. Like you. Yeah.

[Eddie Pepitone]

You killing the pedophiles, like killing the president.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Pedophiles move. Yeah, like pedophiles move to Florida because that's where. Yeah. They're comfortable there. Yeah, they like it there. Yeah, yeah. That's why they go there so. Cuz again, because they support them.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Oh, I see. I hate looking out my window every day. I get up and I look outside of my window and what do I see? Cyber truck. Every day a guy who lives across from the street from me, he's got a cyber truck. And you know how I fix that blinds? Dot com. That's right. Go grab the little pole to the left of the blinds and you squeaky Squicky, squicky, squiky, Squicky. And they shut. Cyber truck. No more. Blinds.com saves the day Again. Again, they'll help you not look at all kinds of stuff outside your house and keep all those peeping toms from looking at your naked wife. So go to blinds.com and do something right for your family. Right now, blinds.com is giving our listeners an exclusive $50 off. When you spend 500 or more, just use the code left at checkout. Limited time off offer rules and restrictions apply. See blinds.com for details. Hey there, everybody. I want to talk to you about horticulture. Yeah. Did you know that Fast Growing Trees is America's largest and most trusted online nursery? I did it. I got trees from them. I got bushes to cover up that stinky, stinky wall that my neighbor has in my house. It looks good. It's really got so nice. But last year I got an avocado tree and whoa, doggy. She grow fast. She grow real fast. It's budding already. It's been a year. Usually it takes a little bit longer than that.

[Henry Zebrowski]

You know what?

[Eddie Pepitone]

I don't even know if that's true or not, but it is button and it is growing. And you know what I did was I rent. I don't own my home, so I put it in a pot so I could take it with me and it could be be with me for the rest of my life. And now I got avocados forever. And just like Forrest Gump says, that's one less thing. All right, so go on to Fast Growing Trees and get yourself a tree that you want to see get tall super, super quick. Right now. They have great details on spring planting essentials. Up to half off on select plants. And listeners to our show get 20% off their first purchase purchase when using the code left at checkout. Offer is valid for a limited time. Terms and conditions may apply. Fast growing trees.com traditional old bangs charge overdrafted monthly fees. Why pay to get your own money? Chime is banking built for you. That's why they have thousands of fee free free ATMs. Chime members can earn up to $1,150 in annual rewards fee free. And with a Chime card, you get 5% cash back in a category you choose. You're not just switching banks. You're upgrading to America's number one choice for banking with a Chime checking account. Chime is not just smarter banking. It's the most rewarding way to bank. Join the millions who Are already banking fee free today. Head to chime.com that's chime.com left. It only takes a few minutes to sign up. Chime is a fintech, not a bank. Banking services for Chime card provided by Chimes Bank Partners. Optional products for services may have fees or charges. Stated cash back for Chime prime only. No minimum ballots required. Checking account ranked based on J.D. power survey published October 20, 2025

[Henry Zebrowski]

Love them

[Eddie Pepitone]

now. We went to Florida, but do you want to go back to Brazil for ccc? Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

You know I love Eddie's story, my friend. Now this story comes out of one of my favorite things in the world, which is old lady pretending to be baby. Yeah, we got another orphan story. I love you don't like this one. It is one. It's not the fake one. Like Natalia Grace. That one made everybody sad in the end. Even though we all wanted to be true, everyone did, even Natalia. And we none of us can make it happen. And so now it's actually happening. And I'm as excited as I've ever been in my life. So this is great. A woman by the name of Amanda Maria Saa de Oliviera. She has launched this scheme and it's been going on for many years. So she's 37 years years young and she spent about 14 months convincing a pastor and his family she was a 12 year old girl. Now you may say like how, how. Right. How she drank from a baby bottle. She's a pacifier. She faked night terrors, right? All these different needles put inside of her. And see her, I'm looking her up, I'm trying to find her. Oh, you'll see her, right? You can see the back of her, right? So the, the, the couples, right, they said all part of it being like, oh, she's a big 12 year old. And the past congregation said, oh, they were concerned for her weight so they got her on Moon Jaro. They threw her 12th birthday party and their whole thing, they were on the way to adopting her. But then this thing turns out like what she said was Amanda told them when they met her, they guessed that she was. She arrived at a service for this pastor and basically acted like she was mentally handicapped. She has this sort of affectation she uses like she is, she's mentally handicapped. And then she says all this stuff about how she a part of. Well she does is let me in Spanish. I think you could go like. Right, Is that minus, right? Oh my God. Just a grown woman. No, it's a full on grown ass woman. Yeah, it's a. I think a lot of Hope turned her 12, but the family did not.

[Eddie Pepitone]

She would have better off saying she was a 12 year old boy.

[Henry Zebrowski]

The problem is the pastors were, were stupid. So she said that they had forced titles, growing experiments on her as a little girl. They made her, they use hormone treatment on her and that she was trafficked.

[Eddie Pepitone]

They grew my breasts to big sizes.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Hey, listen, listen. I think that anything that they say, I listen, I do. They think that it's terrible. My huge. We are all sad for it. What the. But my question, my question to you, Amanda, Amanda, do you have any of that big tit juice for my wife? I like to stick some of the big jit juice into my wife. And so she came out, she said that she was forced into prostitution as a little girl because her original father forced her into satanic witchcraft rituals. Right. That was the whole thing. And the pastor was like, yes. I mean, she said she seemed like an obese autistic teenager and spoke like a child, which is. Honestly, you're talking about half of Missouri.

[Eddie Pepitone]

You know, that's a. Yeah, that's a big old.

[Henry Zebrowski]

That'll happen. Cnm. So they said that like it's kind of quick. So she had kind of tortured herself. She had put needles inside of her own skin to create the story of that. She was tortured for years.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Oh my God.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Eventually she was broken down by the investigators. Eventually just said, like, you're a 40 year old woman.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Yeah, we're going to start punching you.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Oh yeah. She also been, she had already been arrested and convicted of stealing an identity in Golas in another part of Brazil earlier. This is not her first rodeo. She's done this several times. And to me, it's really about the dumb. For me, it's, it is taking advantage of a dumb religious family, number one. Yeah. Also an advantageous religious family because there's nothing a religious family loves more than to take in like a mentally handicapped person or something like that and use it as like a badge of honor for everybody to love them. Right. How many times I've seen this, I've seen so many, many like religious families that would like, you know, they adopt somebody from Africa, call him Timothy, then make him like American, you know what I mean? Like that thing, like they do the thing and they're just so proud. Like, oh, look at that. He can Skypeboard now. Like that style where I think these, these pastors are so excited to, to flip an autistic child that they want it so bad that they'll do anything to get one. And I think that's what this is. They wanted to find Flipper into something bigger, better, something cooler obviously, because they're trying to make her skinnier. They're trying to make a bowl by giving her mounjaro for some reason. So I don't know why, I don't know why they were trying to, you

[Eddie Pepitone]

know, like lean around 12 year old weights.

[Henry Zebrowski]

But then she'd be one, wouldn't she? And she wouldn't have giant 40 year old, middle aged, beautiful tits. Right.

[Eddie Pepitone]

I don't think that, I don't think you gave. You said giant and beautiful. I don't think those are accurate.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I'm being nice. I'm trying to be nice to the woman and just say that she had bigger than a 12 year old's breast. And let's just say we all know it's different. Yeah, right. So that's the thing. Just putting a Prada Lion King shirt on her and, and a baby bottle in her mouth does not make it. Does not a 12 year old make.

[Eddie Pepitone]

No.

[Henry Zebrowski]

So I think that they were looking for an easy go at, at a good new orphan. And you know, some things are just too good to be true. And if you look at this stuff, like I think with Brazil, it's also just kind of easier.

[Eddie Pepitone]

I love how we believe the alien footage and not her.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Oh, of course. She's obviously a 37 year old old woman. She looks like a lunch lady in a cafeteria in Toledo. And if you act like a 12 year old, if you act like one of these ABDL people, you better have like their stolen valor. You in a diaper?

[Eddie Pepitone]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

If you're not in a diaper, that's it.

[Eddie Pepitone]

You ain't that. You ain't that.

[Henry Zebrowski]

You ain't that. All right, so I love this story because I love fake children. I think fake children are one of my favorite things in the world. Everybody wants to be a baby again. I get it. But it just, it's hard to wheel that, that clock back successfully.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Yeah. Know what's good about fake children is people don't get as mad when you hit them.

[Henry Zebrowski]

But now you go back, you can really clock the hell out of her. That's a full grown woman.

[Eddie Pepitone]

All right, so I want to talk to you about this. And it's just like such, it's, it's something that like I started off as like a bane to my existence and has now now like become somewhat interesting. So. All right. You know how like you got your shows and your Wife's got her shows.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yes. All right, so yes, she watches her shows. Long form discussions of people that have been molested. Yeah. And I. I watch a lot of cooking shows.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Yeah. So Julie's like, a lot more normal than Natalie.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yep. Yes.

[Eddie Pepitone]

She likes reality television.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yes, she does.

[Eddie Pepitone]

And a lot of people love reality television, but she's got me watching this show called Summer House.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Now you're. What is it? And what is. What is this?

[Eddie Pepitone]

Summer House. Here's like, here's the context for all this. All right, so Summer House, the. The main storyline is within four people who live at the house. So basically it's a bunch of rich Instagram people. And they go in the summer. They go spend their weekends in Long island at the summer house. It's very nice.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Is this real or is it just a show?

[Eddie Pepitone]

It's real. You know, it's. It's reality television and it's supposedly real, but we all know that it's very scripted.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah. All right, so now you. You did say this does come to last podcast.

[Eddie Pepitone]

I'm tell. Just let. Just come with me on the Marcus context here. And it will. And it will come around. All right. And I want you filmed in my hometown. Oh, yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Where I grew up. Watermill.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Oh, Watermill. Great, great. This is perfect.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Oh, nice.

[Eddie Pepitone]

The guy who. So Summer House been going on for a long time? Something like 10 years. All right.

[Henry Zebrowski]

The guy going on for that long.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Dude, it's crazy. People love this. I hate it. It makes me crazy people. It literally, like every time I watch it, like, my blood boils and it just makes me super mad. Think Andy Cohen's a demon.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Can we go burn that house down?

[Eddie Pepitone]

I mean, it's. Here's the deal. So the house is owned by this guy named Kyle. Kyle, this is my version of this lady. So if you watch this show, I'm about to ruin it for you.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Good.

[Eddie Pepitone]

So Kyle is a piece of. He always gets too drunk and he ruins the. The good time for everybody. Everyone else on Summer House, Kyle's like in his late 30s. Everyone else on Summer House is like. Like a child.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah.

[Eddie Pepitone]

So anybody, like, 20s?

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah. So somebody in their late 30s. If those of you that are not in your late 30s or in your 40s, to a 25 year old, you are a living, walking corpse.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Yeah. So there's Kyle. He's a douchebag. The whole.

[Henry Zebrowski]

No, not with that haircut.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Everyone hates Kyle.

[Henry Zebrowski]

That guy's a douchebag.

[Eddie Pepitone]

He ruins every day.

[Henry Zebrowski]

No, that guy, the douche.

[Eddie Pepitone]

That guy, he flips out randomly. He like throws everyone. No one likes him. And he's married to Amanda.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I'm really excited for him to end up in a true crime case where he's the victim.

[Eddie Pepitone]

And Amanda. Amanda was. And they're married and they hate each other. Oh, good. They fight constantly.

[Henry Zebrowski]

That's the heart of the show.

[Eddie Pepitone]

He's like, yeah, it's kind of like the heart of the show. They are now in the middle of a divorce.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Great.

[Eddie Pepitone]

And. But he. She was mad because he decided out of nowhere, I'mma be a dj. And so he's out all night night. He's partying with fans. He's getting real up. He's doing a lot of things that don't seem right for a married man.

[Henry Zebrowski]

It's kind of nice. It's all things that will eventually stop his careers. That's great.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Yeah. Yeah, exactly.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Anything that keeps him from working is great.

[Eddie Pepitone]

So Amanda is like in the middle of a divorce with him now. Her best friend is this chick Siara, very hot black chick. She's on the show. She's gorgeous. Everyone loves Ciara. She's very kind. She's got. She's lots of, you know, she's model. She's like, she's wonderful human being.

[Henry Zebrowski]

She's the only.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Out of everyone on the show. I would say she's the only one I would voluntarily hang out with.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Okay.

[Eddie Pepitone]

All right. She seems like a decent human being. She was dating this dude named West. West is an amazing scumbag. He looks horrible.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Kyle and West.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

How are you watching the show?

[Eddie Pepitone]

I hate it.

[Henry Zebrowski]

How are you making through? How are you making.

[Eddie Pepitone]

I literally. Julie has to tell me to be quiet because I pick it apart. And she's like, you make, you make me mad whenever you. I'm like, well, I'm the only person going to watch this with you. This is just so. West is such a scumbag. He's the worst. He's. He's.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Eddie, stop watching this.

[Eddie Pepitone]

He's a professional. West is a professional reality star.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Oh, I'd rather be. I'd rather him be a family annihilator.

[Eddie Pepitone]

I'm telling you, this is going to come around. All right, Just stick with me. Okay. So west starts like he's dating Ciara, okay. And they break up and he's trying to rekindle things with Ciara and they're going. And things are going well and they film the entire season. Amanda's breaking up with Kyle and. And then, and then he's like, he's like trying to Rekindle things with Ciara. All. And it's all, like, very much part. So they filmed the whole thing. We know this is what happens after the season ends. It comes out that west was secretly Amanda the whole time. And someone, like, found them and, like, took pictures of them, like, hooking up and then released it to the Internet. Okay? And so now everybody one. And then Amanda and Ciara are, like, best friends. And so now as everyone's like, everyone jumps ship from hating Kyle and now they hate Amanda. All right? And so, like, Amanda and Kyle, they like. And then Andy Cohen's the puppet bastard. Yo, he loves it. He loves all this.

[Ad Read Voice 1]

He.

[Eddie Pepitone]

He's like. He's a street straight up demon. So now they have the reunion. All right? So like, everyone. So west has to atone. Atone for everything he did wrong to Ciara.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Dick and balls off. Is he gonna. Because he slit his throat or something.

[Eddie Pepitone]

We crucify him. So basically they have. They filmed this reunion.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I want to crucify that guy. I literally want to nail him to a crucifix. I want to. I want to watch him die.

[Eddie Pepitone]

The entire world agrees with you.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah, I want. Just looking at him. I hate that jacket. I just want to cut. I want to cut his side.

[Eddie Pepitone]

He had like, one day he was on and he had, like a horse hair tie on, like a piece of.

[Henry Zebrowski]

She don't deserve these women.

[Eddie Pepitone]

No, she don't deserve anything.

[Henry Zebrowski]

All right, okay.

[Eddie Pepitone]

So they're have. So they do the whole show and now they're having, like, the reunion, you know, where like, they all sit together for like a three hour conversation and they just like, rip each other to shreds. Yes.

[Henry Zebrowski]

That's like my least favorite part about stuff. Like, that's when I like Drag Race. I like the costumes and the dancing. No, I don't like the dress.

[Eddie Pepitone]

They all hate each other. They fight all the time. I want something nice.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I like creative things.

[Eddie Pepitone]

So they have the reunion and everyone's just ripping into West. Everyone's ripping into Amanda. CR is crushing it because she's cool as and she's always nice, but now she's gonna take these out and it's awesome. And people are like. And she's sitting next to Kyle and they're on one side, and then West. West and Amanda are on the other side. And then west also has this other secret girlfriend and everyone's on this. And so, like, they're doing this whole big meetup. And then. And then turns out the day before no one knew this when they were Filming. But the day before the filming started, west, his cousin, his name is. His cousin is Dakota Sweeney. A man, his name's Dakota Sweeney, murdered his grandmother. Wow.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Murdered West's grandmother.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Wes's cousin, straight up, murdered his grandmother the day before the reunion.

[Henry Zebrowski]

So you're trying to say that everyone's

[Eddie Pepitone]

dog piling them and they're dog piling them on the reunion. He's just sitting there taking it like a wounded dog.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Honestly though, they're all like yelling, but

[Eddie Pepitone]

no one knows about this grandmother that got murdered.

[Henry Zebrowski]

That's kind of day before. Can I say,

[Eddie Pepitone]

like, his cousin murdered his grand sweet.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Wow. So like, you know what, man?

[Eddie Pepitone]

What I found out about like, hold on.

[Henry Zebrowski]

That makes me kind of laugh.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Imagine this. Imagine being this big of a scumbag. Your cousin murders your grandmother, but you still show up to your reality television get beat on show.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yep. Because he has to. Because he's contractually obligated. He's getting paid to be there.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Andy Cohen is the real demon here. He knows this fucking 26 year old just had his grandmother murdered and he's like, no, you got to show up today. I think that you got to fucking be here. You got to show up.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I might say straight up, that Andy Cohen might not be a nice guy.

[Eddie Pepitone]

I would love the Sounds like a cult podcast to do an Andy Cohen episode. If you are listening. I would love it if you did an Andy Cohen sounds like a cold episode. Because I really think Andy Cohen is a bad man.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I think he's a bad man.

[Eddie Pepitone]

He's a bad dude.

[Henry Zebrowski]

That's insane, dude. That's like very, very like. I just feel like we're getting to a point where like, was it secret

[Eddie Pepitone]

lives, a lot of work.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I just insane not show up.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Your grandmother was murdered.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I just went on, dude. I just went on. A full on dreading is covered. The story of the From Morgan. What was it? Mormon wife. The secret lives of Mormon wives.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Yes.

[Henry Zebrowski]

With and talked about, like that whole, whole thing. And the idea of like they're shooting. They're shooting the show like while she's beating the out of her husband and like while she's doing all these like horrible things and. But it's like she essentially like, which I also don't even understand how she created a Mormon tick tock world where they're all showing their belly buttons. Like, literally they're all like scantily clad showing their butts and stuff. Like it doesn't really make any sense and it's all falling apart. And I do think I Think that these things might be getting out of hand.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I think that. That once we're at the point. Point where we're making. Because, like, I think it started once we had whatever that piece of shit's name. What was his name? Spicer, Was that. Oh, we had him on Dancing with the Stars. Sean.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Sean Spicer. Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

When Sean Spicer went on Dancing in the Stars.

[Eddie Pepitone]

But that's like a competition show.

[Henry Zebrowski]

But it's changing everything that we're doing now. Now we're really in the world where you can genuinely do a crime to get enough juice to get a television show.

[Eddie Pepitone]

I mean, they had Carol Baskin on Dancing with the Stars.

[Henry Zebrowski]

We're now really in the. Rudy Giuliani on the mask singer. Yeah, I remember. But we're really at a. We're really getting to a point where, like, someone's, like, asking me, like, oh, where's our television show?

[Ad Read Voice 1]

Blah, blah, blah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

And it's like, we would have to, like, commit a crime. Yeah. To be famous enough to do this.

[Eddie Pepitone]

I will say this.

[Henry Zebrowski]

It's just wild. Like, where we're at right now in terms of, like, how is this help anybody? How is this good work for anybody? How is this helping the industry? How is this helping the people, the crews that work in this industry? How does this doing anything?

[Eddie Pepitone]

Reality television sucks because everyone's just watching them to, like. They're basically validating how awful they are by watching it and supporting them.

[Henry Zebrowski]

But the idea is that we're all

[Eddie Pepitone]

there and they go in and they destroy each other and they treat each other like shit, and then we all fucking watch it and validate and we're like, I hate them. But you're fucking watching it.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah. I mean, I like. I watch true crime. I like watching. And I like all my exploitive True crime. I like it all. I like every single bit of. I like the evil stuff. I like all of it.

[Eddie Pepitone]

But that's a story.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah.

[Eddie Pepitone]

You're not like two fucking blond chicks fighting over who came up with a phrase.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Well, that shit makes me crazy why Jerry Springer was popular, though. Oh, yeah, it makes sense. It makes sense. Why.

[Eddie Pepitone]

At least there was real controversy with Jerry Springer. At least it was like paternity tests and stuff like this. This is just nonsense. Rich people complaining about their fucking lives being great.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Well, what it is, is showing the United States, the people in the United States of America, number one, this idea that you'd make a certain amount of money and you get to a certain point where you're an influencer. It means you count more, means your voice counts more, means your vote counts more. All this type of shit. That's one reason why people, I think, like it because they want to be in the same scenario. They think that they can get into the reality television loop. But what they don't realize is number two is the secret sacrifice you make.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

That they don't fully understand. That is the lesson that no one is learning right now, which is we didn't learn it with Mom, Donnie. We're not learning it with all these other culture of things. We're not learning about how you also give something up, though. It is a two way street.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

So it is not something that you, once you become a reality television star, you definitely sign a deal with the devil of show business itself where you are giving up a piece of your very soul for money. Yeah. You're giving it up. And the problem is, is that the United States of America is viewing that as awesome. They think that right now is like, that's the way to go when it really should be. What I love is something like how with Mamdani, we're really missing the message here of he's straight up just saying, I'm going to be the mayor of New York City and that's it. Yeah. I don't care about being president. I don't care about being senator. I'm here to do this thing right now. And they're all medically automatically, everyone's dogpiling all of this, like, hope on him. Hunter Biden, same thing. Dumping all this kind of hope on him. And it's like, don't do this to these motherfuckers.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

They're not the ones for you. And also we need to figure out other things. We're just at a. We're at a weird place where nobody understands. In order to get that top seat, you also have to sacrifice something. And when we are constantly saying how wonderful it is, how they sell their souls. Yeah. For money, it's. It's just going to lead to more pain.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Also, I got to say, like, if you're just watching all these people fight with each other all the time, then you all of a sudden become petty yourself.

[Henry Zebrowski]

It can be, it's true. But also I get the, the shorten fruit. I get the idea of like watching people in a fishbowl be tortured and why you like it. I understand why you like it.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Love island was horrifying to me. I felt like. Like they were all prisoners forced to each other.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I'd rather hang out with the John Wayne Gacy than anybody from Summer House.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

You know, I mean, I'd rather hang out with Daniel David Berkowitz, I don't know. Than any member of any one of these shows.

[Eddie Pepitone]

I. I have to say that I think that all of us would love to hang out with Ciara.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I think that Ciara is trying to keep us at arm's length, which almost

[Eddie Pepitone]

seems like a lunatic.

[Henry Zebrowski]

There's all these monsters.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Again, I. Carl, like, everyone loves Carl and he's very nice, but I. I don't know why. I just feel like he's gonna strangle someone to death one day.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I'd rather hang out with Vladimir Putin.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Like all these people. I'd rather hang out with any villain of history. These people have less inside of them. There's another guy than the worst villains of history. How's this guy Luke?

[Eddie Pepitone]

Luke sucks.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah, of course Luke sucks.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Luke sucks. The. They all fucking suck. But there were some. The black guy. Go down. Go down. Go down again.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Well, they put him at the bottom.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Whoa. They didn't even include him. Google AI. Didn't even include him.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Y. Oh, man.

[Eddie Pepitone]

I don't remember his name, so I'm not much better, I guess.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah, you're. I guess you're all racist, too. There's a lot of people in the show.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Oh, dude, it's been running forever. People come and go, and the thing is, like, everyone's like, oh, they're going to recast. They don't want to. People don't want to be on with west and Amanda next year. They don't understand the show's going to get canceled. There's no show without Wes and Amanda.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Nobody gives a. No one gives a.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Because they're the horrible people. Because you need the horrible people to do it.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yep. Well, yeah, because good people on a. On television isn't interesting. Yes.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Yeah, they just like, oh, they're nice, and then you move on.

[Henry Zebrowski]

No, but that's why I like my Great British. Yeah, I watch my Great British.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Wonderful.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I watch my Great British. I watch my.

[Eddie Pepitone]

By the way, I do like Dancing with the Stars.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah, I understand.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Dancing with the Stars is kind of like, I hope it replaces football. I understand if that's one of those things. I was like, I think it's better than sports.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah, sure, sure. See, I like. You know, I like. My. My simple shows are like, it's great British. And Antiques Roadshow.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Antiques Roadshow is fun.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I've been watching a lot of Antiques Roadshow to shut off at the Very, very end of the night.

[Eddie Pepitone]

I like the pottery throwdown.

[Henry Zebrowski]

My only thing with pottery throwdown. Too sexual for me really. The two, too many tongue in cheek.

[Eddie Pepitone]

I love the big guy who cries all the time. He like, sees like a nice, nice bowl and he just starts crying. I love that. Yeah, that guy, what's his name? I think he's the best. He's so cute. He's such an old man. He just cries.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I know, but it's just. But also, if you cry at a bulk. What are you gonna do with the news, buddy? Oh, man, here we go. Let's get some listener emails.

[Eddie Pepitone]

All right. This is gonna get dark, isn't it?

[Henry Zebrowski]

Actually, I don't think so.

[Eddie Pepitone]

There's a whole bunch of stories about stabbing horses.

[Henry Zebrowski]

No, but it's actually more hopeful than I thought.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Okay, let's hear it.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Finally, my tenure of being a full time horse girl. Out then listener can come in handy. You absolutely do not need to kill a horse if it's injured or stabbed anywhere but the trunk. I work with fancy pants, expensive sport horses. And these beasts are out there injuring themselves and others constantly. This persistent myth exists because a horse's legs don't have great circulation to heal soft tissue injuries. Picture a horse. The lower limbs are almost all bone, little flesh. And their very large size means extra pressure on skeleton to stay upright. A horse can't hop around like a trap tripod dog. Right. Like, they're not built to do that. So what you have to do is it takes a very special pen. Right. So there's very advanced medical care available for these extremely expensive money pits that people love called horses. Yes. A stab wound in the leg could end up being fatal if it were to penetrate the joint capsule and certain infection in the joint itself. But more often than not with injuries to the limbs, they are stitched up and bandaged and treated until the wounds healed with the do too. Is they put him in a situation where they're in a super tight stall.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Because the legs, the way they sleep, which I did not understand is that they never lay down because they'll die. Like, they'll die if they lay down. Their organs will stop functioning because they're so heavy and they can't get back up. So what they do is.

[Eddie Pepitone]

But I've seen horses lay down.

[Henry Zebrowski]

They do, but they. It's. It doesn't. They don't do it a lot to sleep. Normally to sleep, they lock their knees. They have this like this thing that their legs go into like a lock position and they sleep Standing up.

[Eddie Pepitone]

That's kind of.

[Henry Zebrowski]

That sounds great. It's interesting. And so what they do is they put him in that. They get. Put it. They can squeeze them in like a sling and like a thing. But the main issue is it costs a lot of money. So if you get stabbed, it costs

[Eddie Pepitone]

money for the horse to sleep.

[Henry Zebrowski]

To get the specialized barns, you would need to do medical care to the horses for the therapy.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Yes. My grandfather spent the whole family's money on 10 racehorses. People do that one race out of all of them.

[Henry Zebrowski]

You could have a. You could have had a much better life if he didn't do that.

[Eddie Pepitone]

It really could.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Like, think about how much nicer your life could have been if he had put all that into the race restaurant. Right. Which was doing well. Yeah, the restaurant was doing really well in your family.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Yeah, yeah. It's gone.

[Henry Zebrowski]

And he took it all out of that. He put it on horses. Yeah, it's way worse.

[Eddie Pepitone]

I got to go to the track every day when I was a child.

[Henry Zebrowski]

See, that's nice.

[Eddie Pepitone]

That's nice.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Instead of the working restaurant.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Yeah, yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

The horses are recovering, though. Oh, yes, they are. The ones from the story that got stabbed last week. They are okay. They got stabbed in the torso. They're okay. They're going to be all. Be fine.

[Eddie Pepitone]

What kind of. What part of the horse is the trunk?

[Henry Zebrowski]

The. The middle part of it.

[Eddie Pepitone]

That's the trunk.

[Henry Zebrowski]

That's the trunk.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Because I googled horse trunk and some gross things came up.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah.

[Eddie Pepitone]

I bet it was just cases made of horse.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Oh, yes. So it's like, largely people. So this is. And the example is this is a very, like. This was a premeditated attack that the Emily did. The Emily girl did against these horses from last week. Yeah. But again, all savable.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Okay, good.

[Henry Zebrowski]

So all the horses.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Okay.

[Henry Zebrowski]

It really looks like she was doing it because she was bad at. At doing the barrel racing.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Ah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

And she wanted to. She was angry and she was like a stalker. And apparently horse stalkers are also a big thing. People that have become obsessed with the

[Eddie Pepitone]

horses and they just can't afford to

[Henry Zebrowski]

take care of them.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Be a part of it.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yes. And so they've. This one lady told, like, honestly, it's a very long story.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Become a vet.

[Henry Zebrowski]

It is a. The whole thing is about this lady kind of became like a horse groupie where she started hanging around by the horses and was, like, looking for all these things that eventually found way into a pen late at night and was like, with the horses, like, really weird. It all Come. Like reading the play Equus, like we talked about with Daniel Rad Cliff's penis last week. People have extremely personal relationships to horses.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Well, it's the only thing that can make a cowboy cry.

[Henry Zebrowski]

They are the most. They're like dogs in that way. To many, they all say that they're

[Eddie Pepitone]

all very bigger than dog. They're more. If you have a really strong bond with a horse, people, I would say it's probably a bigger bond than a bond with a dog.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah. Cuz dog can't also be your car.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Yeah, yeah, exactly.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I mean, the dog and like, the horse can be your car, but they are. They are awesome. Dude, horses are really cool. But yeah, they have to be. It's just standing on whether or not they want to spend the money to fix the poor porp. Sweet, sweet, sweet horsies.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Yeah, man. I went to this on our honeymoon. Julie and I went to this place called Vieques. It's a little island off of Puerto Rico. And it's like, abandoned because they did a lot of nuclear testing there. But there's like a whole, like, resort part of it, which is super nice. And I was like, oh, we'll go check it out. There's a lum. There's a luminescent bay or a bioluminescent bay and all this stuff. I was like, this sounds wonderful. No one told me that the whole island is just littered with stray horses.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Cool.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Yeah, like. And I call them stray. Rather wild. Well, they eat trash, but yeah, you know, they're just. They're like walking along the street. They're not like, like frolic in the woods. They're just like, everywhere. And it's like a nuisance. And they're like, walking around. Like, when I was in the pool, they were like, drinking out of the pool. Yeah, yeah. It was very. It was. It was very weird. But they were. They were fun. And then what I noticed is all the wild dogs would, like, torture the wild horses.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Whoa.

[Eddie Pepitone]

They would, like, circle them and bark at them and like, them.

[Henry Zebrowski]

They're doing weird herding, like, activity.

[Eddie Pepitone]

It was. Was interesting.

[Henry Zebrowski]

All right. And I have one little. I thought this was really funny. We don't normally get the, like, this is. To me, this is my version of a last podcast and left human interest story. Because this is a very funny story. In the name of Pride Month, we're here. I want to tell the story of someone's very funny coming out, which is very. It's, you know, made me laugh. I've been out as a trans Woman for six years. And when I was going through my name change, I decided is when I was was finished, I would all come out at work. Bosses already knew I went through HR paperwork, so everything was great. On the last Wednesday of March I changed my name. And on Thursday I got my new driver's license. And on Friday I went into work as a guy for the last time. I explained to my direct co workers. I changed my name to Spice. I'm trans. It all went fine. Problem one, I only told my direct co workers. Nobody else in building building got a memo which leads into problem two. Ladies room I was not going to be using was in a different section because my group was between two spots. Regardless of where I went, someone might think because that Monday also happened to be problem three, April Fool's Day.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Oh my God.

[Henry Zebrowski]

As mentioned, I changed my name on the last Wednesday of March and Monday happened to be April 1st. So my first day out as a trans woman in my office job was on April 1st. Because I'm so smart person. And not only that, but I was so anxious, I tried taking the stall at the far end to have as much distance between me and everyone else as possible. Which is how I learned the gap in the door of the handicap stall goes directly over the middle of the toilet. And I gotta say, having my lady Lance and light enough sight was not what my anxiety needed. Thankfully, nothing ever happened. I was anxious, but other than that things were fine. I eventually got fired for other reasons and now I work somewhere else. But only now they know me and as a woman woman, which is nice, you wouldn't think a warehouse would be accepting, but we're union and most people don't give a. That's right.

[Eddie Pepitone]

No, I don't give a. No warehouse is oddly accepted.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Oh yeah. Wanting to share because I'm an attention. And you guys have been so fun over the years. Thank you. Honestly, I just thought it was really funny. Funny how it's kind of those foible things. But yeah, honestly, I found like work people blue. This is the whole thing when it comes to these issues is that pretty much every person everywhere knows somebody in a true alternative lifestyle. Yeah. And everybody in every town, every little town probably has, you know, as a trans person, a gay person, that kind of thing. And you notice those guys, they're all fine with their local alternative person. Yeah. Because they met them, they know them, they just literally don't have the ability because they've lost it over the years of either not meditating, not taking care of themselves, not Paying attention, not letting empathy let in. They don't understand that they can apply that to others because they're like, no, well, I know that one, and I like that one. That must be one of the good ones.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

They don't understand, like, no, you just. That's your neighbor. And actually just neighbors have the same percentage points of being murderers, rapists, and angels.

[Eddie Pepitone]

You can hate them for their human aspects.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Honestly. There's so many rich, wonderful ways to hate a person.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

You know, not just even for what they identify as. Truly, honestly, that's the last thing. Yeah. You could be a trans. You know what I mean? Like, that's one of my favorite things in the world about it.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Right.

[Henry Zebrowski]

So thank you for sharing your story, and I hope that Pride Month's awesome for you. And don't worry, Eddie and I are not going to be out there stealing the grand Marshall of any parade from anybody. You know, we're not going to be doing that without. We're not those kind of white guys.

[Eddie Pepitone]

In podcasting, we do have, like, a fun. A fun Pride episode coming up next week. We see stories.

[Henry Zebrowski]

We really do.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Really happy about this.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Really excited. I'm not letting the old out of the can yet, but you guys are going to love it.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Friend of the show. And we want to give a shout out to Reckless Ben. We were supposed to talk to him today. Didn't work out. He is currently under a gag order. There's a whole thing going on with this bricks at minifig story that is obviously wildly out of control. He has been harassed by the police. He's got a gag order put on him by the same judge that is currently overseeing the Charlie Kirk murderer trial. Who's this extreme Mormon? So right now, Reckless Ben is in a lot of trouble, but it does look like bricks and minifigs is folding, so they look like they're giving them all the collection, whatever the that means. And again, I also want to point out, Kim, that guy, the main villain of that story, is a Mormon with a handlebar mustache. I want you to remember that. Okay. Because that handlebar mustache, to me, is the reason why. Why he's doing this. It is. And live every day knowing for a fact, when you see a handlebar mustache, don't judge the man, judge the mustache.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

All right. You know, love the fact that that mustache is one of the. That's a key indicator that. That that person's trying to tell you, which is to laugh at them. And I think it's a really good idea. Now go Check out our new show.

[Eddie Pepitone]

That's right, we did. We won't stop.

[Henry Zebrowski]

We are doing a show. Okay. Let's just say it's certainly not just contractually obligated. We were super excited. So this is a big old show we're doing for Sirius XM exclusively over on Sirius XM Podcast plus it is movie Stories with Ed and myself. We are putting onto a whole. We're telling stories around some of our favorite movies, investigating our favorite directors, talking about them and then kind of just like having a fun like last podcast themed movie style adventure.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Yeah. Because Henry and I are big movie fans. We've always been movie fans. Been a big part of our friendship for over 20 years.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yes.

[Eddie Pepitone]

But there, no matter how much you love movies and you are obsessed with them, just you haven't seen all of it.

[Henry Zebrowski]

You haven't seen anything. Yeah, we haven't seen. I've seen so many movies and I still haven't seen anything. So.

[Eddie Pepitone]

So the series, the first four episodes are about William Friedkin because love the Exorcist, love French Connection. Have I seen anything else? No. So Henry and I watched the whole

[Henry Zebrowski]

catalog, everything he made. Yep.

[Eddie Pepitone]

And then we're, we're doing it. We're doing a big thing on them and then we're going to move on to other directors. Then in between the directors, your highlights, we're gonna have little, little, just quick little episodes.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah. So I'm really excited for. So I hope we like go check it out. And the video is on Patreon. So if you go to patreon.com lastpodcast on the left, you get all the video too for just, for just that.

[Eddie Pepitone]

So if you are on Patreon, it comes out every Thursday.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah.

[Eddie Pepitone]

If you are on Patreon, you don't need to do the SiriusXM thing. You can just watch it on Patreon if you want. If you're on SiriusXM Extra, you don't have to do the Patreon Boom. It's just how it is. It's not, you know, it's just, just something we're doing for fun and I hope you guys enjoy it. Side stories, of course, will always be free.

[Henry Zebrowski]

We're not always all. Our goal is always make sure our shows are always available for free. And we have a lot of shows over here on lpn. Check out all of them. Go to someplace underneath lpn. Romantasy the Foreign Report. No Dogs in Space. Brighter side, page seven. Nerd of Mouth. Go check out our new shows. Go check out our YouTube channels, LPN TV. Yeah, all of it's there. Go.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Finals for HGX2 start this week. Dude, you versus Julie and Amber.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I wonder what's gonna happen.

[Eddie Pepitone]

It's gonna be awesome. We're gonna run the final. The finals are. Are huge. They're gonna run for two weeks. So the next two Thursdays at 7pm on LPN TV, make sure you're watching the HGX2 Finals. We're gonna crown a ham Lord. It's gonna be wild. I hope you're ready for this. Yep. It comes on right after we released last stream on the left on the YouTube. So just stick around after that. You'll go right in into the next episode.

[Henry Zebrowski]

And also I'd like to give a big old welcome, big old American style. Bienvenido to the screw worm. Congrats for making it to Texas. I'm so proud of you. Knew. Knew you'd love Texas. And so it's a New Mexico too. Coming to America.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

So go enjoy yourself.

[Eddie Pepitone]

A screw worm.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I hope you run for president.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Yep. No, it's just. Yeah, we're just going to have to kill a bunch of cows.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Hopeful screws were working to its way up through Governor Abbott's useless legs and drop a bunch of eggs into his useless intestines and they kill him from the inside out.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Oh, please, please, please.

[Henry Zebrowski]

We'll see.

[Eddie Pepitone]

We'll see. Yeah, I got lots of shows coming up. Come and check me out. July 10th, Bethlehem, Pennsylvania. Salute to Bethlehem. July 12th, Newark, New Jersey, New York Culture Club. July 13th, NYC City Winery. July 19th, Plano, Texas. The mic drop over there. On July 26th, the Comedy Store head. Henry's gonna be joining me for that one. July 31st and August 1st, I'm gonna be in Chicago at the Lincoln lodge. And on August 1st, Logan Metz is going to be joining me from Promise of the Real.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Oh, yeah.

[Eddie Pepitone]

And on August 16th, dead men tell Some Tales is coming back to Dynasty Typewriter. And I think we're gonna do a little you can watch online type of deal.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah.

[Eddie Pepitone]

All right. A lot of things coming out. Go get tickets to all of [e-mail] Hail Satan.

[Henry Zebrowski]

See you soon.

[Eddie Pepitone]

Peace out.

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