Side Stories: Heist Stories

Summary

Last Podcast On The Left: Side Stories—Heist Stories

Episode Date: October 22, 2025
Hosts: Henry Zebrowski & Ed Larson

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Episode Overview

In this Side Stories episode, Henry and Ed revel in real-life and ridiculous heist tales, dissect recent true crime headlines—from an audacious museum jewels robbery in Paris to a much sillier stuffed animal theft in New York—plus a bizarre Wikipedia conference incident and updates from the bizarre world of Jeffrey Epstein associates. Laced with signature LPOTL banter, detours into classic rock, listener tales, and dark jokes, the guys keep it lively, weird, and often unhinged.

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Main Discussion Points & Insights

1. Opening Banter—The “Side Piece” to LPOTL

• Henry and Ed joke about being the "mistress" of Last Podcast on the Left—playing with the idea of LPOTL’s Side Stories as the show’s unofficial, irreverent “Gouma.”
• (01:30) “I just realized we’re the side piece to LPOTL.” – Henry
• Off-the-cuff banter about Polish suffering (“the Polish...they went through a lot”) and the hosts’ own openness to mockery set the loose, comic tone.

2. Horror Movie Marathons & Pop Culture Tangents

• The hosts bemoan their 31-for-31 horror movie challenge fatigue, diverging into favorite cult movies and old-school comedians.
• [04:29] Praise for “Tales from the Crypt: Demon Knight.”
• Anecdotes about Charles Fleischer (voice of Roger Rabbit), citing odd run-ins in LA, his penchant for strange inventions, and his evolving, controversial comedy set.

3. Celebrity True Crime Update: Aaron Goodwin’s Wife Plots to Kill Him

• [07:17 - 16:25] Discusses Aaron Goodwin from “Ghost Adventures” and the wild revelation that his wife plotted to have him killed, including emotional affairs with convicted murderers.
• The show aired real footage of Aaron receiving the police call while ghost hunting.
• “You turned the worst moment of his life into the fucking content!” – Henry, [15:11]
• Ed ponders: is it worse to find out about emotional or physical affairs? Both agree either is devastating, but “Don’t touch her!” – Ed, [10:13]

4. Museum Heist at the Louvre: Old-School Cat Burglary!

• [17:19 - 22:28] The recent, audacious jewelry heist at the Louvre is dissected:
  • Daylight robbery, entry via roof windows with a ladder and disc cutter, getaway on scooters.
  • French museum security is criticized for being lax: “The Louvre got lazy.” – Henry, [17:53]
  • The haul included historical tiaras, brooches, pearls.
  • Discussion on the difficulty of fencing royal jewels vs. simply melting them down for profit.
  • Paris’s history of “cat burglars” is celebrated: “I love how Paris still has, like, old school cat burglars.” – Ed, [21:56]

5. Playland Park Stuffed Animal “Heist” & Crime Nostalgia

• [22:28 - 25:13] In Rye, NY, three teens broke in, vandalized Playland amusement park, and stole 200 stuffed animals.
• Ed admits to understanding the “thrill” of these petty heists as a youth himself but draws the line at vandalism.
• “They're just boys. Gonna ruin your life, ladies.” – Henry, [24:46]

6. Jeffrey Epstein & Ghislaine Maxwell—Ongoing Conspiracies

• [31:28 - 39:19] A dark and detailed update:
  • Ghislaine Maxwell’s transfer to a cushy Texas “dorm” prison with other infamous white-collar inmates (Elizabeth Holmes, Jen Shah).
  • Reports of whistleblower inmates being shipped off to harsher prisons after talking to press.
  • Discussion of Virginia Giuffre’s new book—a few revealing, unnamed powerful figures; suggestions of ongoing high-level coverups and efforts to pardon Maxwell.
  • “No one does this—normally, when you take a human trafficker…we’re against it.” – Henry, [37:32]
  • LPOTL refuses to let the Epstein story go: “The story’s just not…not—I refuse to stop following the story.” – Henry, [36:44]

7. The New Jersey Drone UFO Scare—Explanations or Not?

• [39:21 - 43:33]
  • Recent UFO sightings in New Jersey labeled as a private company's drone demo, but the hosts eye “official sentiment” warily, suspecting government smokescreens.
  • It's not about aliens, it’s about secrecy and unexplained phenomena: “I am obsessed with the idea of things happening in front of us and the government and the media telling us it’s not happening.” – Henry, [41:39]

8. Wildest Story: Anti-Contact, Non-Offending Pedophile at Wikimedia Conference

• [44:58 - 53:38]
  • Ohio’s Connor Weston brings a pastel flag reading "Anti-Contact, Non-Offending Pedophile" to a Wikipedia user gathering, then brandishes a gun (possibly threatening suicide).
  • Hosts wrestle with how genuinely disturbing and absurd the incident is, ping-ponging between outrage, gallows humor, and meta-commentary on troll culture.
  • “Taking yourself hostage is objectively funny… with a gun to your head saying ‘Stop or I’ll kill this pedophile’…” – Henry, [47:29]
  • Ultimately: "There are things that are called inside thoughts. …Just keep it to your goddamn self.” – Henry, [48:59]

9. Rock & Roll Obits and Uncle Corner—From Ace Frehley to Limp Bizkit

• [53:43 - 57:03]
  • News of Ace Frehley’s (KISS guitarist) passing, wild stories about his connections to the band, psychic predictions, and classic rock tangents.
  • Ed eulogizes: “He tripped and he fell in a New York groove.” ([54:49])
  • Quick mention of Limp Bizkit’s bassist passing.

10. Listener Story: The Pervert Poltergeist

• [63:52 - 69:32]
  • Listener recounts seeing a ghostly old man peeping on her while half-undressed in a salon restroom.
  • Turns out, it wasn’t the living husband—matched years-long reports from the salon owner about a “grandfatherly” spirit.
  • Henry: “Honestly, show your tits more to ghosts. Yeah, ghosts want to see tits.” ([68:58])

11. Show Business: Funding Creative Projects & Making Movies

• [69:45 - 74:47]
  • Henry addresses the failed Kickstarter for his project, reflects on the difficulty of indie filmmaking, the reality of harsh internet criticism, and why many creative people are quitting in the modern climate.

12. Upcoming: LPOTL Live Dates and New Projects

• Plugs for future Side Stories live shows and the upcoming LPN RPG series "Bloodbath" (Vampire: The Masquerade) on their YouTube channel.

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Notable Quotes & Moments

| Timestamp | Quote | Speaker | |------------|-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------|-----------------| | 01:30 | “I just realized we’re the side piece to LPOTL.” | Henry | | 04:29 | “If you don’t like it, go fuck yourself.” (about Demon Knight) | Henry | | 10:13 | “Don’t touch her!” | Ed | | 15:11 | "You turned the worst moment of his life into the fucking content!" | Henry | | 17:53 | "The Louvre got lazy." | Henry | | 21:56 | “I love how Paris still has, like, old school cat burglars.” | Ed | | 24:46 | "They're just boys. Gonna ruin your life, ladies." | Henry | | 37:32 | "No one does this—normally, when you take a human trafficker…we’re against it." | Henry | | 41:39 | “I am obsessed with the idea of things happening in front of us and the government and the media telling us it’s not happening.” | Henry | | 47:29 | “Taking yourself hostage is objectively funny… with a gun to your head saying ‘Stop or I’ll kill this pedophile’…” | Henry | | 48:59 | “There are things that are called inside thoughts. …Just keep it to your goddamn self.” | Henry | | 54:49 | "He tripped and he fell in a New York groove." (on Ace Frehley's possible death) | Ed | | 68:58 | “Honestly, show your tits more to ghosts. Yeah, ghosts want to see tits.” | Henry |

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Important Timestamps

• 01:01 – Show proper starts—Side Stories banter launches
• 07:17 – Aaron Goodwin (Ghost Adventures) true crime update
• 17:19 – Paris Louvre jewel heist breakdown
• 22:28 – Playland Park stuffed animal “heist”
• 31:28 – Epstein/Maxwell prison updates and conspiracy discussion
• 39:21 – New Jersey UFO/drones incident
• 44:58 – Wikipedia conference "non-offending pedophile" incident
• 53:43 – Rock obits: Ace Frehley, Limp Bizkit bassist
• 63:52 – Listener ghost story: The Pervert Poltergeist
• 69:45 – Reflections on creative funding, hate mail, and film production
• 74:47 – Upcoming shows, new podcast projects

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Episode Tone & Style

As always, the hosts keep things energetic, irreverent, and crass—quick-witted riffs, dark gallows humor, but also meta-reflections on the modern culture of online critique and creative struggle. They move fluidly from true crime to pop culture to bizarro news, often undercutting seriousness with comedy or vice versa.

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For New Listeners

You’ll get:

• A whirlwind of horrific and hilarious real-life heist stories
• Comedy that careens from sharp, insightful, silly, to gleefully tasteless
• A unique blend of pop culture, true crime, and listeners’ tales
• Plenty of inside jokes, pop culture references, and digressions
• Honest, sometimes jaded commentary on the state of media, creativity, and the world

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Skip to (timestamps above) for the topics that interest you, or strap in for the full Side Stories ride.

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Contact: [e-mail] for stories, feedback, and your own weird tales.

Transcript

[A]

You'll float too.

[B]

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[A]

This is the Lost on the Left. Side Stories.

[B]

That's when the cannibal them started. Side stories. Yes.

[A]

Welcome to Side Story.

[B]

Eddie, don't make them cry.

[A]

Welcome to Stories on the side.

[B]

Eddie, how do you plan to spend our episode today making mildly disappointing content?

[A]

Oh, yes. I gotta tell you side story stories. I just realized we're the side piece to lpotl.

[B]

Yeah, dude. We're the mistress.

[A]

Yeah, dude, we're the guma. Dude.

[B]

Yeah. We don't. They don't kiss us on the mouth.

[A]

Yeah. No, no.

[B]

We kiss our children.

[A]

Yeah. If we buy each other gifts, we got to make sure we use it on the other credit card.

[B]

Yes. I told. I get it.

[A]

That's what I do.

[B]

I do. I already do that. But I just love venturing into a new day, a new episode, where I'm gonna say one thing that's gonna make somebody call me a libtard, and then I'm gonna say something that's gonna. It'll be the same ex.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I can't wait for. To be raised across the coals, no matter what I do. Welcome side Stories. My name is Henry Zabowski. I'm sitting here with Ed Larson.

[A]

How you doing? Everyone say what you want about me. You know, I'm an open book.

[B]

Attack him.

[A]

Attack me. I like it, to be honest with you.

[B]

Honestly. Attack him.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. I'll give you some ammunition. I been to jail a couple times.

[B]

Yeah, please.

[A]

Yeah, I. I once.

[B]

He's white. I'm white as hell.

[A]

I'm. I'm so white.

[B]

He's crazy white. And y' all know I'm not.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

And honestly, I feel like there should be a little bit more of discussion of this about how if you criticize me in many ways. It's a hate crime.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Because the Polish, what I'm learning, which blew in my mind, they went through a lot.

[A]

Yeah, they, they, they. They've had their share, you know, they went through a lot, you know?

[B]

So I think you guys should think about that before you come at me, okay? But because I'm the one that's keeping Baba Yaga safe.

[A]

Amen to that, brother.

[B]

All right, we got some updates.

[A]

We got some brothers, we got some movies here.

[B]

All right, guys, we'll just talk, really.

[A]

How's your 31 for 31 going?

[B]

I haven't stopped.

[A]

You haven't stopped. It's really. It's. It really is a lot. I feel like I've watched so many movies, but I'm still behind.

[B]

That's. That's how it was. Well, I preloaded.

[A]

Can we do 21 for 31 next time?

[B]

It's 31 days.

[A]

Can we add, like, a couple. I need more thrillers if we're going to do this again. I need more thrillers and more. More comedies or. I really can't do this again next year.

[B]

I'm taking it harder.

[A]

I don't. Then I'm out.

[B]

We gotta go deeper in the paint.

[A]

So your stuff where you're like, oh, I'm. I'm hazing you with Kill List is what you said to me.

[B]

Great movie, right?

[A]

I really like it.

[B]

Good.

[A]

I really like the movie. Great. And the scene is really brutal. Spoiler alert.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Seeing the scene where they're. The torturing the guy is very brutal. But afterwards, I watched Anthropoid, which is a Nazi movie about the. About the assassination of Reignard Hyrik Kyrik. It was about his assassination. And there was a scene that was like a mirror scene from that scene in Kill List. And it. I got to say, it was far more brutal in Anthropoid. Really?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Like, I was like. I was like, ah. I watched them, like, back to back, and I was like, whoa.

[B]

I should watch Anthropoid.

[A]

You really should see Anthropoid.

[B]

It's on my list.

[A]

Anthropoid's really good.

[B]

Well, honestly, we should just both talk about a movie we can praise equally, which is Demon Knight. Tales from the Crypt Demon. Yes. We love Tales from the Demon. It's a wonderful movie. And if you don't like it, go fuck yourself.

[A]

I've seen it probably 100 times. Did you know, I didn't realize until this most recent viewing is the guy in the beginning who's obsessed with Delia, like the. The slow dude dude.

[B]

Yeah. There's a voice of Roger Rabbit, Charles Fleischer.

[A]

I had no idea it was fat Fleischer. I know he was fat back in the day. I thought, he's always a skinny little worm. No, I see him walking around the valley a lot.

[B]

He's. He's very old now.

[A]

He's really into Jones on third. Oh, dude, I see him in Jones on third. Like almost every time I go there.

[B]

There was a Michaels that he go to all the time that I used to see him at all the time. And we used to follow him around the store at Michael's and be like, that's Roger Rabbit. Can you do the voice still, you think?

[A]

Oh, yeah, oh, yeah. I just think they got rid of him because his comedy never evolved past his, like, racial humor.

[B]

No, no, no, no.

[A]

I seen him do stand up once. You're like, oh, man, you're gonna keep doing that voice, huh?

[B]

Yeah, it's old school, you know, and it's four flappers. It has to stay inside of flappers.

[A]

One time I saw him there was that old H that used to be on Ventura Place, you know, right next to where Jones on third is. That's his block. He's like, he like. He like stumbles around there all the time. And I saw there was that hobby shop that used to be there. And I saw him come out of there once. I was like, hey, Mr. Fleischer, how you doing? I always say hi to him even though he'll never remember me.

[B]

No, because he's a weird, like shambling ghost. Like, man, he doesn't like to be recognized for some reason.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. So because I was like, I was like, oh, Mr. Fleischer, how you doing? Good to see you around. He has like this weird thing that he came out of the hobby shop with, and he's like, I just invented a new shape. You're like, what? He's like, yeah, it's a hundred sided sphere. Or like, like you've heard of an octagon. It's. It's like a Centigon or something like that.

[B]

And you're like, thank you, sir.

[A]

Thank you for inventing the new shape.

[B]

Do the voice. That's right. He's in Back to the Future too.

[A]

Yes. Wow.

[B]

Some good ones.

[A]

He was. He really. He had a. He had a nice career, but he really got.

[B]

Hopefully wherever he is, he's thinking happy thoughts.

[A]

I don't think that's true because I do talk to him when I. And he's. He Is. He's very miserable.

[B]

He's quite grumpy. He's quite, quite grumpy. All right, we got a great update now. This is. This is Schoenfruit as it's on the whole. Like, this is literally one of those where I feel bad even showing this because this is such a terrible moment in a man's life. But this story continues to be unfortunately, kind of funny. It's Aaron Goodwin from Ghost Adventures. Yes, we know that he, his wife was plotting a very long extended murder issue. That she was going to kill him. Right?

[A]

She was trying to kill him. I don't. I mean, obviously she's very bad at it. She got caught. It didn't happen. She was trying to contact a man inside who has killed people. He's in there for. He murdered a couple other people.

[B]

His wife was beginning this like long, weird emotional affair with the Grant Amato, who is a Smeagol, looking this gross as fuck little man that became obsessed with some Bulgarian only fans model. And he siphoned his entire family's net worth into giving money to this model that couldn't care less. And when he was finally cut off for the final, final, final, final time, and he told the Bulgarian model, I don't think we could be together anymore. And she went, oh, no. And then he flipped out. He killed his whole fucking family. Right? His. His wonderful brother is his father, like, because he tried to make it. Oh, my father was harder than me. No, it's just that you, you completely shit the bed as a human being.

[A]

Yeah. Killed his mother, father and brother.

[B]

He used all their money. He. Oh, yeah. He took their entire net worth and gave it to this.

[A]

That's the real crime.

[B]

That's the real. Tell me about it. Because also, I don't mind helping the Bulgarians one woman at a time. Yeah, yeah, I get it. They need help. Send soup. Yeah.

[A]

Bugolgia. I like that. That's a good. That's a Korean meat, right?

[B]

That's Bugolgi. Bugolgi. Yes.

[A]

That's what I'm thinking about.

[B]

So now his wife Victoria. Well, I guess they're divorced now, right?

[A]

Yeah, I go ahead and call it divorced, I'd say.

[B]

I'd like to think so. She is not. She did not just have one emotional affair. She had several emotional affairs with. With several people in jail for murder. And I guess it was to sort of. She said it was like a fantasy and Grant Amado was going to go send dudes out after Aaron Goodwin. But all we know, we know for a Fact that Aaron. That Grant Amado can't get anything done, so he's not actually going to do. She chose the wrong. He's bad at it. She's bad. He's bad at the killing people thing.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Except his family.

[A]

Yeah. Now, emotional affairs. Would you be more upset if you found out about an emotional affair or physical affairs?

[B]

Say either one.

[A]

Either one.

[B]

I'm gonna say either one. What's more upset? What's. What do you mean more upset?

[A]

Yeah. Would you be more mad? I think I'd be more mad about the physical affair.

[B]

You know, that's how men were.

[A]

Emotional affairs.

[B]

That's how men work. I think in some CIS het men, in that way. I do believe that we're an emotional affair. I can handle.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Like I can handle you. I do think in a way I figure we could figure out because obviously that's a me thing.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

There's something that you're not getting from me or there's something in the relationship you're not talking through.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. Maybe we could talk about this week. I can change. You know, I think I could. I could start.

[A]

I don't know what. Talk about sewing.

[B]

God knows.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But it's. Don't touch her.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Exactly. Yeah.

[B]

As long as you be a. All you want, bro. Go and be my wife's emotional wet blanket as much as you want. That's fine. That's fine. But the second you touch her, what.

[A]

Do they get out of that?

[B]

Would they get a guy who's gonna listen to all their problems? This is because we talk to our wives. I talk.

[A]

I'm more talking. I'm more talking about the other guy. Like, what's he get at?

[B]

He's waiting for us to die. Yes, he is waiting for us to either die. He's waiting for something bad to happen to one of us, or he's waiting for her to give him the opportunity to arrange our murder.

[A]

I couldn't imagine having an emotional affair. I can barely talk to my therapist.

[B]

I will be vulnerable and say it was in a previous relationship. And I now think about it all the time, about how I should have just been having a physical affair. Guys skip the emotional part. That's what I say. But don't worry. You're gonna make. Someone's gonna probably call. Someone's gonna kill you. So. But gets back to this. So Aaron Goodwin. This poor man. I. I actually feel a lot for him. Ghost Adventures is. Is. Is under siege.

[A]

He does seem nice.

[B]

He's. He's a nice Man, I've met him. He's a very sweet man. I'm friends with Jay on Ghost Adventures.

[A]

I feel bad making fun of them, but it's just like. It's too sill.

[B]

Well, it's just as far as murder.

[A]

For plot hires go.

[B]

It's just way too close to home. That's why we're talking about it. That it just feels like I know these guys and it's.

[A]

It's.

[B]

It's also. It's inherently silly. Such as this, unfortunately, which is they revealed, and I'm saying good on Ghost Adventures because this is smart of them. They revealed in their episode. They left it in the scene of Aaron Goodwin getting the call that the police were at his home while they're ghost hunting. So this is to me, I want. Only reason why I want to play the scene is because they're trying. I love my guys. They're trying to stay in character.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But this is when real life hits the ghost road with this ad.

[A]

Yeah. It's all right. Yeah.

[B]

I hate seeing these ads with these babies in them.

[A]

Lots of mochi. Diabetes.

[B]

Is this for. What is this mochi thing?

[A]

I don't know, but they're like talk. Mochi is like a new thing to help you with your diabetes.

[B]

But did mochi a dessert?

[A]

It's a dessert. It's a wrong thing to do.

[B]

Yeah. Then why do they keep saying mochi's gonna help you lose weight? It doesn't. Confusing. It's confusing. It's definitely confusing. It feels like a almost. I'm gonna put this out there. This is really. This is shots fired. We don't work with mochi. It sounds like a Nazi thing to do. When you say things the opposite. It's like, this is called cake.

[A]

Yeah. I'm on the Boston chocolate cake. I'm on the Boston cream pie dessert Diet shot.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. Then it's going to come into a big cake box. It's going to be a syringe, and you're going to stab me with it.

[A]

Oh, it's frozen.

[B]

Oh, delicious. All right, so this is Aaron Goodwin. They are in a haunted home.

[A]

Is it? It looks like a building environment.

[B]

They're in a haunted environment from this episode of Ghost Adventures. And he get the call. Oh, yeah. Thanks to tmz.

[A]

All right. I'm going to try to take a picture. So what I'm doing right now, UV lights. And then I take long exposure. Polaroid for like 30 seconds. Got a Kevlar vest on. Like, he's going to war. Oh, God. Dude, I feel like something's happening.

[B]

Suddenly, Aaron gets a notification on his phone, and we can see sense something is wrong.

[A]

Dude.

[B]

Hold on for a second. You right?

[A]

He's just staring at his phone.

[B]

It's nothing like seeing another man's worst moment.

[A]

Please run house.

[B]

What?

[A]

Dude.

[B]

Dude.

[A]

I can't even deal with it. I'm not staying in here by myself.

[B]

So he's still staying in character. I love the idea. So he's got to run out and get that call. But then you'll see Jay turning the camera, being like. The ghost activity is absolutely crazy right now. But obviously Aaron's dealing with something like here, because he's like. He does this thing. So then he goes outside to take the call. Aaron getting a phone call or something. He said the police are at his house, and he said he had to go outside. At this point, we will not be showing any further footage.

[A]

But it is at this moment that.

[B]

Aaron receives a call from the police that his wife has been arrested and charged with conspiracy to commit murder by hiring a hitman to have Aaron killed. Zach, you sick fuck. Why are you doing this to your buddy?

[A]

You're literally turning.

[B]

You turned the worst moment of his life into the fucking content.

[A]

They're like, listen, we. We filmed it. We got it.

[B]

We're using it.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Cha ching, cha ching, cha ching. It works.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

Look at us. And I feel like Eren obviously must be using this. We know that this is deeply painful.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

And this is horrible. But you could see them all trying to stay in character where Jay's like, well, I'm not staying here by myself, you know, like. Well, but what about the ghosts? There's a lot of ghosts in here, right?

[A]

You know, like, do you think the ghosts mind if I have the rest of my sandwich? Yeah.

[B]

There's something extremely compelling about, unfortunately. And this is just, again, shade and fruit. This is from the side. It's just the idea of seeing someone have their worst moment in their life on camera.

[A]

And not just that. While you're dressed up like you're going to war to find ghosts. He is. Yeah, he is.

[B]

He always wears that. That's his thing. It's just like a tactical vest. Why you need a tactical vest? To hunt. It has berries. It has batteries in it. It has batteries and. And. And. And gaffing tape, of course. But, you know, our hearts go out to Aaron. I really do.

[A]

I.

[B]

No one deserves this. Nobody deserves it. Zach's a bad friend. Okay, Aaron, just know that Zach's a bad Friend. That is not what a friend does. But also, as a viewer. Thank you.

[A]

As a producer, what would you. If Julie. If I found out Julie was gonna. On the show.

[B]

Let it. Let that beautiful bean footage roll. That's what I say, man. What is the point? Oh, well, what's the point? All that pain if we can't monetize it?

[A]

I hope his divorce was free. I don't think in a free divorce, if your wife tries to kill you.

[B]

Side stories. LPOTL gmail.com, i'd love to know. I think they charge double, personally. I think they just decide, well, somebody didn't like you. All right, we got a lot of horrible stories today. Let's start them.

[A]

Well, the. The Louvre is. Seems like the biggest actual story.

[B]

That's the biggest story of the week. It's the best story of the week. Anybody that tries to tell me that there's like a victim here can suck my dick. Except for the fact that I know that they are historical properties and they should be in a museum. But also, this is rad as fucking.

[A]

I mean, a museum heist. I'm always going to be like, give it a shot.

[B]

I mean, you know. You know what I will say. And it's true. This is true. The Louvre got lazy.

[A]

They did. I mean, it happened during business hours.

[B]

They got broad daylight.

[A]

They fucking put a ladder up to the side of the Louvre and came in through the roof window.

[B]

So the way it works, it's like.

[A]

Every time in a burglary movie, they come in through the roof window. Museums need to get rid of windows on the roof.

[B]

They're beautiful, but they're beautiful until you get natural light in there. But so Norm. So what has happened is, I guess the Louvre has been talking about staffing shortages for a while. They've been having some weird issues with security. And so this is like they. They played against the French sentiments really easily. So this superpowered scooter showed up. And apparently it is very normal in Paris to have these electric ladders coming off of a scooter up against the building, because that's how they do deliveries. And a lot of these ancient old buildings that don't have like a proper. What do they call, like, when you go to the back. When you go to the. They don't have a proper loading dock. Yeah. So they'll put them up like, you know. You've ever been to Amsterdam? Amsterdam, every.

[A]

A lot of homes anywhere.

[B]

Cool, dude, that's Amsterdam sauce in that way. Where they have giant hooks in front of the Homes right where they are.

[A]

They used to put the people.

[B]

No, because Amsterdam. They used to burn them. But no, they. It's a.

[A]

That's why you got all the rivers.

[B]

Yes. They have the pulley system for people to move up because all these connected row homes. So in order to get. Get furniture into these super thin old school homes, they had to create another way to do it. So the Louvre was the same way. It was a. They kind of grew accustomed to this site. But these guys took a disc cutter, which is a chainsaw.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

And they cut open the glass. They came in, there's three guys.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

They smashed the glass, grabbed a bunch of jewels. We had the list of the jewels that they grabbed, which was like some tiara.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

From Empress Eugenie. Empress Eugenie had something that she put on top of her ass. This weird decorative bow that looks stupid.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Empress Eugenie's brooch is stupid.

[A]

And Queen Marie Amelie.

[B]

Nobody gives a. About any of this dumb nap. Napoleon's wife. Yeah, well. Yeah, well, should have. Whatever.

[A]

She shouldn't have boned apart. She should have done the whole thing.

[B]

Should have buried him with her. So these guys, they broke in, they. They harassed security with the disc cutter. They then got the stuff, jumped back on the scooters and fled into the day.

[A]

They were gone in less than four minutes.

[B]

And they are gone. He gone, gone, gone, gone, gone.

[A]

But the thing is, you can't sell these.

[B]

Well, they're saying that what they did was very smart, which is it's different than stealing fine works of art because those you have to hedge.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Those you have to go and do. And that's a very, very.

[A]

These you could break apart and you.

[B]

Can melt down the gold.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You could take those. Like this thing had pearls the size of thumbs. Like that's a pearl that's going to go someplace el. Be sold in some. Some really over the top black market.

[A]

Sl don't get the real money for selling the crown jewels as crown jewels.

[B]

No. Because they only have a certain, like they are literally priceless. Like they have this thing where. Yeah. I believe that they can be evaluated to a certain amount, but it's just for the jewels within. But there's no real way to determine the price for that object. Oh, that's like, kind of like one of those things that they try to figure out because they try to keep it separate.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Because that's. It's just been sitting at the GD Loof. I don't know how much you would say because they're. These are not the crown jewels.

[A]

Oh, they're not those crown jewels.

[B]

No, they're not different crown jewels. They are just crown jewels.

[A]

Yeah. They're not like British crowns.

[B]

They're not the college. Okay.

[A]

Holland. Holland, Holland. Crown jewels. Yes.

[B]

So I don't know. Maybe I'm wrong side stories. Lpotl gmail.com. but it seems it's a little bit more. It's. It's easier to do because. Yeah. If you show up me like, I got you Princess Eugenie's tiara here.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

They can know you stole it from the loose.

[A]

Exactly. Yeah. I gave it two grand because you can't move it. Yeah.

[B]

Give me five. He's five dollars walking around in a crowd. You got. Hey, honestly, that's what I do.

[A]

Yeah. I love how Paris still has, like, old school cat burglars.

[B]

I love that about Paris. Paris has got it going on in that way.

[A]

Remember when they jacked Kim Kardashian?

[B]

Oh, yes.

[A]

And climbed up into her, too. It probably used the same type of ladder for all I know.

[B]

God, who knows?

[A]

Who know? They were nice to her, except for they stole everything and bound her. But they were. They didn't. They didn't beat her.

[B]

And Eddie, that's all we can ask for. Thank you. You are correct. They were indeed nice.

[A]

Now, there was a bigger heist as far as I'm concerned going on right now. It was in Playland. You know Playland. You. You spent a lot of time there, right? You never did in Queensland?

[B]

No, we didn't have fun.

[A]

Oh, interesting. What do you mean? I thought this was your place in Rye, New York. I thought you went there a lot. The Playland Amusement Park. The one that was in good time. No, really.

[B]

No, I never went to this place.

[A]

Dump was right down the street. Your dad could have easily taken you.

[B]

He didn't want to.

[A]

So, anyway, these. These guys are in Westchester County, New York. They.

[B]

There's.

[A]

The police are on a hunt for three teens who vandalized the amusement park and then stole 200 stuffed animals.

[B]

Un believable.

[A]

It cost these guys $40. $50 to replace all these stuffed animals. No, these kids.

[B]

I see.

[A]

Here's the thing. Kids going in and.

[B]

Oh, I've been to Playland Park.

[A]

Yeah, of course you've been to Playland.

[B]

Park, but not all the time. I'm looking. This is one in Rye. Yeah, now I see now.

[A]

Yeah, you been there. Don't tell me. I know where you've been.

[B]

I was looking at another one. I wasn't at that one.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's where. That's where Kis Lane lives.

[B]

That's where she is now.

[A]

But anyway, so they got in and they stole 200 stuffed animals in. In plastic garbage bags. The thing. I don't. I'm not down with the vandalism, but I'm okay with stealing the stuffed animals. Does that make any sense? Because the vandalism, that's hard to do. They tried to take a photo booth and tip it over the side. You know, I feel like that's rude, but, like, as far as the stuffed animals go, they're robbing us every day on those stuffed animals. I'm glad someone got them back.

[B]

I feel like this is a crime that was masterminded by. I believe this is from the lead character of I Am Sam.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You see them? Yeah, no, I see them. Yeah, they look. They are the.

[A]

They look like the exact guys who do this kind of thing.

[B]

There are three kids that look like they are just on Saturday Night Live.

[A]

I think there's one shirt between the three of them.

[B]

These guys are such. Yeah, because, like, again, this isn't like these guys. I don't think. Understood. Understand what they're gonna do with those teddy bears.

[A]

No, they have no idea. We got all these teddy bears.

[B]

They don't have any plan.

[A]

One of them doesn't even have shoes on. This is a rash decision.

[B]

All of these. They're just boys. Are gonna ruin your life, ladies.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're gonna ruin your life. I should. They got lots of nice teddy bears for you.

[B]

Yeah. That's all they're gonna do.

[A]

When I was a kid, one time, we stole a bunch of bowling balls from Don Carter's bowling alley. A statue of limitations got to be up on this 1999.

[B]

We'll find out.

[A]

Come for me, Boca. But yeah, we took about, like, 30 bow. I understand the want for this crime at this age, but I will say, you can't do it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Bad. Do you know? But what do they. I would love to see these stuffed animals. You could sell these.

[B]

Oh, yeah, sure.

[A]

Unlike the crown jewels, the crown jewels.

[B]

Have to be separated. But it's also. Why are we doing it, you know?

[A]

Well, I'm not doing all these stuffed animals.

[B]

They just. They're going to do nothing. Yeah, they did it for the thrill. And guess what? Now they'll be hunted to the ends of the earth. The year is 2012. The setting, new York City. There are a thousand stories in the naked city, and this one is about blood. Vampires are real. They stalk the Streets feeding on the living. Nobody is safe. Join me, Henry Zabrowski, along with Jackie Zabrowski and veteran TRPG player Ross Bryant for an actual play series set in the Vampire the Masquerade universe from the mind of game master Jared. The show will premiere on the LPN TV YouTube channel starting on Wednesday, October 29, and will release on a weekly basis. People will die, then get back up and bite you. Will my character succumb to the beast within? Can Jackie navigate the Byzantine intrigues? The future is a mystery. All we know is it's gonna be a Bloodbath. LPN RPG presents Bloodbath every Wednesday on the LPN TV YouTube channel. It all begins on October 29th. Enjoy the mystery.

[A]

All right, summer's gone. Forget it. It's over. Is it our last one?

[B]

Who knows?

[A]

But the weather is starting to cool. And you know what that means. It's time to swap in the pieces that actually get the job done. Warm, durable, and built to last. And you know who's gonna help you with that? Oh, yeah, Good old sweet daddy Quince.

[B]

It's there for you every time, making.

[A]

Sure you look good and you're comfortable and you stay warm while it starts to get chilly. Gosh, these sweaters are so nice. My linen pants are perfect for October. In November, in the beginning of November. Then once it goes past that, I start to wear my other quince pants. The thicker stuff, the stuff that keeps my legs warm. And then not only that, do I have the Mongolian cashmere sweater. But then I got my long sleeve linen shirt and I put a little quince undershirt underneath that. And I got my quince gold chain. Really, most of my clothes is kind of become quints. It's really nice. It's so nice. I'll be at the shows and I'll wear it on stage a lot because I look good on it. And then people who meet me after the show are so like, quince. And I'm like, you know, it's it. Dudes love telling other dudes they look good. And that's why I wear quints to impress other men. So layer up this fall with pieces that feel as good as they Look. Go to quints.com last for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. That's Q-U-I-N C E.com last free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com last look good. You look so good. I want to touch you.

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As a small business owner, you know that change is the name of the game.

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Switch now@t mobile.com BI/ taxes and fees.

[B]

Guarantee exclusions like taxes and fees applies to exclusions and details@t mobile.com this podcast is brought to you by Squarespace. Squarespace is an all in one website platform designed to help you stand out and succeed online. Whether you're just starting out out or growing your business. But you don't want to grow your business too fast because then people will get jealous and they will take your business out from underneath you by buying your URLs and selling them to others at cheaper prices. Just a mock me. Squarespace gives you everything you need to offer services and get paid. I'm about to make a website in which you have to register in order to make a horse space website. And then I will have to approve it for you to even be allowed to use it. How about that? How about this point? I take away animal based creative business opportunities from all of you and I take Your horse based URLs and I take your email based URLs and I put them in the trash. What if I put them in the trash using my own powerful Squarespace driven website made for me by me.

[A]

All right.

[B]

Through the powers of Squarespace, the unadulterable powers of Squarespace that I love. My experience. It's been a great experience. The problem has been everybody stealing my swerve. It's my websites. They were my evil paintings. Was mine. It was mine. But now under animal URLs register.com all of you will come under the powerful thumb of Henry Zabrowski, fueled by the bullets of Squarespace. Check out squarespace.com left for a free trial and when you're ready to launch, use offer code left to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. All right. We actually. We got an update.

[A]

Oh, we got an update. All right. Do we have a Stinger?

[B]

It's an island adventure. It's an island adventure. Heck yeah.

[A]

It's Jeffrey time.

[B]

That is.

[A]

That is evil. I love that. Wow. That is. Who was that from?

[B]

Rob? I forget. But I'll. I'll tell you.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

Hey listen, Jeffrey Epstein's back in the news. Yeah, this actually, it's more like old Jizzy Maxwell's back in the news. So this is a new leak.

[A]

So just so you know, stay in your giz Lane.

[B]

Everybody's leaking, all right? And one of the big leaks is that they're showing that obviously our current administration is trying to figure out a way to pardon Ghislaine Maxwell because she went ahead and said that our wonderful president had absolutely nothing to do with Jeffrey Epstein. Even though there was all the flight logs and the birthday book and the birthday card and the pictures and the years of hanging out and the fact that he openly said that Virginia Giuffre was, was literally what he called stolen from him. So again, yeah, we know it. We know the is lying. But Ghislaine Maxwell, because of that, was moved to a lower security prison. Now, you actually worked right close to this prison.

[A]

Yes, this is, this. I didn't realize that she was moved from Tallahassee to Brian, Texas. It's a, it's one of those farm prisons.

[B]

It's a dorm style setting. She lives with other famous inmates like Theranos founder Elizabeth Holmes and reality TV show Jen Sh. And they go to yoga classes together. This is completely true. Now, the reason why this new update is all about the fact that in this prison, what they are now doing is locking up and shipping away anybody that is trying to talk to anybody about what Ghislaine is doing inside of that prison.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

One lady came forward basically saying, I saw XYZ White House officials here leading Ghislaine Maxwell around, talking to a reporter. They went and they took that, that prisoner and sent her to a supermax prison right outside it.

[A]

Like, literally like with violent offenders in Houston. They sent her over there. But she was talking to the news. I didn't realize. So she was actually talking. I think so it's just a matter. I don't think it's because she called her disgusting. I think it's because she actually talked to the news.

[B]

It's because she talked to the news. And what is it that's showing evidence that they're specifically. That is proof.

[A]

It is a paper trail now?

[B]

Well, they are literally covering up whatever it is she's saying because they're trying to figure out how to get her out of jail. Like, they are very much trying to figure out how to pardon her. And we also know now that P. Diddy's, they're looking to. What do they, what do they do? The commute his sentence.

[A]

They just pardoned Santos.

[B]

Yeah, it's everybody. Every criminal is free. Yeah, criminals free. So these guys are just. They're. They're very excited to do it. It's just important to remember that it's. The fix is still going on. Virginia Jufre's book just dropped. And so that is actually. There is some interesting new stuff inside of that.

[A]

You read it?

[B]

No, I was looking at the highlights of it, like, I just haven't gotten into yet. It's mostly just what's supposed to be in it, which is more vagaries because she was still being very, very careful while she was being alive.

[A]

So.

[B]

But she described several new people.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

That like essentially criminals that assaulted her. One was a very famous prime minister that we do believe we know the name of. That is a. He's around. He's a guy. He violently raped her.

[A]

Jesus. Was that Prince Andrew?

[B]

No. Oh, Prince Andrew's one of them now. Prince Andrew was the one that was like kind of her main person. And it wasn't until after the Prince Andrew times passed that she started to get. Get given to other powerful people. The book has the story of the Bill Gates blackmail, which I did not know. We know that's real because that came from Bill Gates himself.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

So that Jeffrey Epstein tried to blackmail him into doing work. So we know that the blackmail stuff is real too.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So all of this is like these things are kind of coming up. You should read like. I'm going to. I bought the book, so I'm going to have the book soon. Now that she's dead, which is again, it's not.

[A]

That's.

[B]

I'm not going to call her death suspicious. I'm going to call kind of all the things that led up to her death extremely tragic and suspicious.

[A]

Yeah. I imagine if she did take her life, she wasn't happy after everything that happened to her.

[B]

But you look at. The guy was a Jean Luc Brunel. He committed suicide in jail, quote, unquote, committed suicide in jail. That's all. He's also mainly named inside of her book. And there's also several other. A U.S. gubernatorial candidate.

[A]

It.

[B]

That went on to win.

[A]

Whoa.

[B]

So that is another person that.

[A]

And they're not. They're not saying who it was.

[B]

They're not naming names. But we know that there were other people. So this is all still attacking the concept that Jeffrey Epstein trafficked people just to himself. Are they.

[A]

Do they have theories on who it is? Or are we not even allowed to talk about that?

[B]

I mean, there's. I mean, it's very much in the world of. Of libel, defamation.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

All right. Yeah. So but it's one of those.

[A]

We'll find you, bro.

[B]

It's one of those things where the story's just not. It's not. I refuse to stop following the story.

[A]

Also, this federal prison camp that they sent her to, it is kush. There's only seven places like it in America. There's. It's very. It's very calm. It's. It's basically chill. They. They call it a prison work camp, but they.

[B]

It's.

[A]

It's very easy.

[B]

It's glamping.

[A]

It's glamping the prison and, And Brian. Texas. I know Texas sounds like a very dangerous place, but I worked at the Bryan County Jail.

[B]

Well, it's great if you're a white collar criminal.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. And. But I will say working at the Brian county jail, Brian county in particular, is like, good for prisoners. Like, they're like nicer to prisoners in this county.

[B]

That's why she's there.

[A]

That's exactly why they moved her there. It's because they know that it's like. Like a cushy type prison. And then I look there, the prison.

[B]

Officials also all saying that this is a. Again, another unprecedented move by a presidential administration. No one does this because normally when you take a human trafficker or child molester, we're against it. You know, normally we don't like them. Normally like humans, especially when you send.

[A]

Them to nice places.

[B]

Yes, certainly. We don't like. Yeah. Do you mean the children?

[A]

Children.

[B]

The island was lovely.

[A]

I mean, it was lovely for everyone. But the children always. Yeah, always the. Yeah. But also. Yeah. So the. The prison is run by Dr. Tanisha Hall. She's the warden over there. I've never. I didn't get a chance to meet her.

[B]

Girl boss.

[A]

Yeah, she's a girl boss.

[B]

Oh, yes.

[A]

It's one of those things where it's.

[B]

Like she could be played by Emma Stone in the movie.

[A]

Well, she's, you know, she's black.

[B]

Oh, Exactly. That's when. 20 years from now, when blackface becomes woke again.

[A]

It didn't stop Emma Stone from playing Asian. That one.

[B]

Hey, she's. She's Asian to me.

[A]

Yeah, those. Those white eyes really sell the.

[B]

But, doctor, I look in the mirror and I see a little Asian.

[A]

That's because they're standing behind. You hired them. Get out of here. This is my bathroom. I know you like pee, but I. It was one of those things where I started looking up Dr. Tanisha Hall. I'm like, all right, let me go find the dirt on this Chick. And then I realized there probably isn't any. She's just handed. Sandwiched by the government.

[B]

Yeah, you know, like.

[A]

Like we're breaking. We're sending you giz.

[B]

Well, she is saying straight from the top that this came from beyond me.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's nothing. There's. Yeah.

[B]

So he's just saying. She's throwing her hands up. I'm just saying. I'm just following orders.

[A]

Yeah. Oh, she doesn't have a choice. Nope. That has zero choice.

[B]

Nope. Not at all.

[A]

All right.

[B]

Another mystery solved.

[A]

Is it? Nope.

[B]

New Jersey UFO scare last year is Saul.

[A]

Oh, okay.

[B]

By private company. Now this came out. I saw this. This went through the new. Another reputable newspaper. No, but what I do believe is that it mirrors some of the official sentiment. So there was a really interesting report that came out in the war zone a month ago, which is like a great.

[A]

Sounds reliable.

[B]

But I. No, the war zone's pretty good. The war zone, what they do is military. They do like kind of anomalous stories, but they also do it like from a military perspective. So what they'll do is they talk to people from the inside. But it's like hardcore. They're. They basically the. Their big line always is that most UFOs we see is hidden military tech.

[A]

Oh, okay.

[B]

That's kind of like they're a whole thing. Right. So they.

[A]

I get most of my news from the fudge report. It's just like the judge. It's a. Basically a hateful chocolate website.

[B]

Yeah. Pecans. Pecans make you gay. Oh, no. You mean brownies are identifying as soft serve cones?

[A]

God damn.

[B]

I. But they're Basically this guy. 1. This guy. They talked to the war zone. They talked to this general dude and he essentially said the New Jersey drones all were approved by the FAA on one level or another. That everything was there was approved. But we are not. We. That's just not. We're not talking about what it was, but it was all approved. And so this private company that again will not name itself has came out and said that we were doing a capabilities run to show the US Government a possible customer of their technology what we can do. So they said that their drones were a part of the swarms of drones. And that's a part of what this. That. That one guy who's probably running a smoke screen on the war zone because what he's also saying is that there were many government drones up at the same time and we were doing X up there and we were doing Y up there. We're doing all this kind of shit up in the SK when it was like, you know, but we're just talking about the ones that creeped us out, bro. Yeah, that's a weird one. Yes.

[A]

That looks like the one on the ground that's in the main photo.

[B]

Dude. This is what I'm saying is that it's weird.

[A]

To look like a ufo.

[B]

This is what I'm trying to get across to our listeners is that I'm not obsessed with the story because I necessarily think it's aliens. I am obsessed with the idea of things happening in front of us and the government. Government and the media telling us it's not happening. That's what I'm talking about here. It's not. I don't think it's aliens doing it. My question about the New Jersey drones is that it scared the shit of the entire world and then they had nothing to say about it. Yeah. And we still have to sit here and act like it's fine and we just have to just. Just stick our head in the sand about it and just roll on because there are too many other problems.

[A]

Yeah. No, it's. It's crazy because, like, you're talking about this. They're not telling us who the company is. They're just saying this company exists. They're going through these weird websites like the War Zone are reporting on Daily Express. Us.

[B]

Technically, the War Zone is a legit blog. At least it's like they're doing like, investigative journalism on it. It's just the.

[A]

I'm sure it's great. I never read it before, but it's.

[B]

Still the New York Post.

[A]

Yeah. And also, I gotta say, the drones weren't just in Jersey. No, the drones were in Boston. They were in Arizona. They were everywhere.

[B]

Yeah. Now they're all over Europe. And we are. And I'm still getting. And of course everyone's just like, it's Russia, idiot. It's like, that's not the be all, end all. That's just not the answer to everything. It's just not about it being UFOs. It's not about that. It's about who else is in the sky, what are they doing, and to what purpose is it serving.

[A]

Yeah. Also, Russia isn't advanced as we think they are.

[B]

Well, they have certain things, but they have certain things because other countries have given them those things.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And they have certain things that I just don't. I just can't seem to truly believe that their drone technology in Russia is better than China's or America's. I simply refuse to believe it.

[A]

They blow. They blew up a goddamn nuke site for no reason.

[B]

So I just don't think it's all them. I think that there's. I'm not again. I'm not counting out China. China.

[A]

No, I'm not. Kind of. I could never count on China.

[B]

So we don't. We have no idea.

[A]

The tallest bridge.

[B]

What they did.

[A]

The tallest bridge in the world. China. You could bungee jump off it.

[B]

Well, don't worry. We're building a ballroom.

[A]

Oh, good.

[B]

It's a much needed ballroom.

[A]

I could use some ballroom. I'll tell you what, man, these. These old skinny jeans ain't doing no tricks for o that much.

[B]

You know what you should do?

[A]

What?

[B]

You should work on a sort of pitch towards companies for big bald underwear.

[A]

Big bald underwear also. I mean, my meundies work fine, but the. The whatchamacall would be great. Just open up the front, let the balls hang out. Is it exposure if it's just balls? Is the penis the exposure?

[B]

Side stories.

[A]

I feel like you could show balls, but dick, that's. No one's. You know, you can't do anything with balls.

[B]

I'm already gonna tell. We're gonna get a lot of fuddy duddy moms.

[A]

Bombs.

[B]

Yeah, they're all gonna be super against the balls.

[A]

Well, you know, I need to know.

[B]

I'm just telling you right now.

[A]

I mean, I'm not.

[B]

They're gonna be deeply against this ball thing.

[A]

Well, you know, free the balls. That's what I say.

[B]

You're. Hey, someone's got to free my dipper. Yeah, the keep his ball again. So if he's keeping his penis in, can he show his balls? Yeah, guys, we're talking about it, all right?

[A]

This is the best news story this week, okay? This is like we've beat around the bush too long. This is. This is side story. This guy news, okay? Connor Weston of Ohio, he went to a Wikipedia con, I guess, you know.

[B]

So he went to a local meeting of. It was. Yes, it's this.

[A]

It's Wikipedia con.

[B]

All these New York City showed up, right? Because these are people that all are the Wikipedia users, right?

[A]

Yeah, yeah, it's. It's the Wikimedia Foundation. Connor Weston shows up. He's got this giant flag that says, anti contact non offending pedophile. He starts waving his gun around and he's like, I am a non offending pedophile. I like to fuck kids, but I won't do it.

[B]

He is so funny. This. This man makes me laugh so much. He is. It's the look on his stupid fucking face. And it's. Oh, my God, I just want to elbow him until he is dead. 27 year old man. His name's Connor Westin. The flag that he came in, he's.

[A]

A pastel flag that goes from blue to pink.

[B]

So it's all these different. I want to say this is some kind lgbt. Like he's stealing valor here, but I'm not quite certain. But the. It's. He has a flag. It's a rainbow flag that says anti contact, non offending pedophile written in big.

[A]

Letters on the flag. Also, that defeats the purpose of the flag.

[B]

I don't know.

[A]

Right. If you have to write everything that the flag stands for on the flag, you don't need the flag.

[B]

So he said that apparently what he's been doing is he flies that in front of his home, in front of his.

[A]

I mean, that's a good way to keep kids out of your house.

[B]

And he also goes to blue skin guy. And he's been very vocally, like, progressive. Like that thing has been really aggressively progressive.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

And then he's been leaning into this anti contact, non offending pedophile shtick. Yes. I believe that he is trying to be a troll in some ways.

[A]

I don't know.

[B]

I mean, he's also like. The fact that he pulled out a gun and then didn't commit suicide in front of everyone has got to be, to be honest.

[A]

Honest.

[B]

One of the biggest failures of his life.

[A]

Do you think he was going there to commit suicide? I thought he was just waving a gun around, looking for attention.

[B]

See, I heard with the. I saw two versions of this article. One was held gun to head.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

And one was brought gun out.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

All right, all right. So one was held gun to head. Which is taking yourself hostage is objectively funny. Yes. In front of a bunch of people with an anti non offending pedophile flag wrapped around you with a gun to your head saying, stop or I'll kill this pedophile while you have a gun. It's your own head. Is one of the funniest moments you can have at a Wikipedia.

[A]

Who are you holding hostage?

[B]

I can't wait. Let me see if he has an entry yet.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

Weston. Have a Wikipedia entry.

[A]

Literally sitting there at Wikipedia just like entering his information.

[B]

I want to look at this. Oh, wow. And think about this. I hope no one else has the name Connor Weston, because when you pull up that up, first thing it says is non offending pedophile Connor Weston.

[A]

So, I mean, but I also love.

[B]

A social media video circulated in July shows a man providing Weston's name, age and hometown applying that term to himself and saying that he can, quote, choose not to harm minors, but can't choose to stop being attracted to them. Yeah.

[A]

What do you do with this information?

[B]

Your brains out. Do it.

[A]

All right. I mean, it must be real. This isn't like something you make up.

[B]

No, I know.

[A]

I got a lot right. It's.

[B]

Listen, I don't mean to offend or non offending pedophile like listeners, but I just want you to understand that. Don't tell me. Okay?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Keep it to your God damn self.

[A]

There are things that are called inside thoughts.

[B]

Do it. Has a tree fallen in the forest yet? Has a tree fallen and is crept up inside the pants of a little girl yet? No. Yeah. So you're not yet a pedophile yet, buddy. You are a child fan.

[A]

Oh, it's so funny because, you know, he had to get this flag made and commissioned by the same guy who makes Trump flags.

[B]

Oh, yeah, buddy.

[A]

Yep.

[B]

Which, what color. What color motif you want on that one? Here's the fifth ones that we're making today. One I made in the Cincinnati Bengals colors. One I made in the star. They. It was a Sailor Moon theme. You know, like, can I actually get the Cincinnati Bengals colors?

[A]

Not everything needs a flag.

[B]

Hey, it's just like he wants people to know if your child looking to get fucked and sucked, don't come by here because I want to do that. Okay. So if your child who is. Because I feel like almost in a way this is his way out of.

[A]

Like talking to children ever.

[B]

Because then the kid that shows up is like, I put up the flag.

[A]

I put up the flag. I told everyone I went to Wikipedia, held a gun to my head.

[B]

I went to where information is created. I went to the very front of where information is made up.

[A]

Trying to tell you that I don't.

[B]

Don't even try to let me touch you. Because I will touch you. I will suck you. I will you. I will fiddle with you. Because that's all I'm missing. That's all I'm missing is the contact. Anything. Everything but contact.

[A]

I mean, that's all worth is like you. I can't stress this enough. You have to believe him.

[B]

You really do. You really, really do. I know that there are people out there struggling with these things, feelings. And if again, if you are struggling with these feelings, cut your Penis off. Do it for yourself. Like, honestly. Cut your penis off. Cut your ball.

[A]

Freedom.

[B]

That's free. Release yourself. I do think in that way. Then you won't have to worry about it ever again. Cut those balls right off. I'll help you. Side stories lpotl gmail.com Are you looking for? I'm going to start a new Kickstarter.

[A]

Who do we got? Who's the guy? Who.

[B]

The unic.

[A]

The Unic Maker.

[B]

Hire him. He's a celebrity. You could get his. You could get his autograph. We could go, we'll hang. We'll do a meet and greet. We'll chop off the balls. No kids. It's gonna be adults only. We're gonna hang out. We're gonna have a great time, buddy. And we'll sit and we'll watch My Little Pony. We'll watch all the stuff you like. Okay? We'll keep you. We'll get. We'll make popcorn. That's your favorite food, right?

[A]

I don't even know if I'm mad at this guy.

[B]

I. I'm like, I can't.

[A]

I don't know. I can't register. I. I can't compartmentalize my feelings.

[B]

It's just of all of the performative need for clout. It's such a funny way to do it. It's such a funny, like, remember Me too.

[A]

We got it, bro.

[B]

We got it.

[A]

We know logged.

[B]

Hate you, man.

[A]

Well, now he's gonna go to prison because he held Wicked hostage.

[B]

And then guess where he's gonna become a force contact pedophile inside of jail. When he's like, I feel like maybe that's what it is. Maybe he just wants to go to jail. He wants the I, but I also.

[A]

You got to send him to a mental hospital.

[B]

Well, and that's all saying that all this is not just him being a troll. Because the very, very bottom of all of this is if he's a troll.

[A]

He committed a crime. Officially, yes.

[B]

He could just be straight up there. You also forget that sometimes trolls aren't good at being trolls. And so sometimes if they want to do a thing that's like a troll, like, you know how, like, people, like, the crowd thinks they're hilarious?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Right. They're not. This guy thinks that he's like. He thinks that he'll, like, fool everybody into being a progressive. He looks pedophile. But I think that he's playing the character. That's why I think on one end, this all could be an act. And he's doing this as some, like what he thinks is a. A way to, you know, troll the libs or whatever.

[A]

And I think the worst act ever.

[B]

Yeah, I think that he also then. But that again, that doesn't cleave away the idea that he's not deeply, utterly mentally ill or a. Yeah. You know what I mean?

[A]

God, it's just. It's a. It's a part of society.

[B]

Then don't touch that pedophile, cuz he'll touch you back.

[A]

Well, not if you're an adult again.

[B]

Who knows? Who knows? Maybe somebody could suck his dick till he likes adults.

[A]

Oh, well, speaking, we lost a non offending pedophile. Ace Freely.

[B]

Non offending pedophile. He's definitely. As far as I'm concerned, he never wants a offended.

[A]

He never did it.

[B]

We're angry today. Ace. It is. I believe he realized it's not freely. Yeah, it's Ace like freeali. It's. No, it's like it's free. You know, it's Ace Fry Fry.

[A]

Oh, what?

[B]

Yeah, because he had the band FR Comet.

[A]

Oh, interesting.

[B]

I learned that from an old episode of Howard Stern yesterday.

[A]

Oh my God. Because you know, he knows every random offshoot.

[B]

Well, it's the story of Sal Governali went and he. He looked at the paperwork that Ace Fraley signed when he was guesting when Sal was new, and he went through all of Ace Fraley's paperwork to try to get his phone number so that he could call him. And he was a whole bit on the show.

[A]

Oh my God. That is so.

[B]

It was very funny.

[A]

Yes. But. Yeah.

[B]

So he died. Now they're trying to read. They're trying to look into his death.

[A]

Well, he tripped and fell while he was recording a new album. And the thing is, the album was.

[B]

Called Getting out of my Lazy Chair.

[A]

Yeah, he tripped and he fell in a New York groove.

[B]

But now they're trying to say that. They're. They're. They're saying something suspicious happened.

[A]

I mean. Well, he canceled this tour because he's been like falling a lot. So it's. We. We got to see him at my bachelor party.

[B]

We did.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

He was great.

[A]

It was surprisingly good. He really was good.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And so was Alice Cooper.

[B]

I couldn't believe Alice Cooper could move his legs.

[A]

Yeah. So. Yeah. But Ace Freely, he tripped and fell. But the thing is that why it's back in the news. This happened last week. It's back in the news because apparently he went to a psychic in March and they said, you're gonna live to 100.

[B]

I got too conf. Confident.

[A]

Yeah. Oh, but no more Kiss.

[B]

Well, yeah, you don't think. You don't think he'll immediately try to replace him?

[A]

I mean, they are wearing care. I don't think Gene said. Well, the rest of them got a sign off on it. Right.

[B]

Well, wasn't Ace Fraley never. It was only ever legally. Kiss, I believe, is just Gene Simmons and Paul Stanley.

[A]

Oh, really?

[B]

I believe that. That the Ace Freely got kicked out of the band.

[A]

Oh, I had no idea.

[B]

I'm pretty certain that they are the only official members of Kiss and that the other two rotate in and out.

[A]

Interesting. Yes. I had no idea about that.

[B]

Jean Sim is a bad person.

[A]

I know that. That I do know.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And then I do know Paul Stanley.

[B]

I don't know anything about.

[A]

Yeah, I don't know anything about Paul. Well, he's friends with Jean Simmons, so that's bad enough.

[B]

Yeah. I mean, who knows? They might be. They might be friends. Like, would you say that Keith Richards and Mick Jagger are friends? Yeah, I think they're like. At this point, they're like men next door to each other at a dementia home. It sounds like with Rolling Stones, they don't even get to get like. They don't rehearse, they leave. Literally like travel in separate buses. They show up at the show, they do the show and then they leave.

[A]

You can, you know, I mean, they're.

[B]

Yeah, they're 85.

[A]

Well, now they got to replace Charlie Watts. Poor guy.

[B]

That's really sad.

[A]

He died at 95 or whatever and.

[B]

He'S worked him to very. And Mick Jagger is like a new girlfriend who's like 25 years old or something. Good for him.

[A]

He loves it. He loves it. No, I. I will say something positive about the Rolling Stones. I recently discovered Ron Wood's solo album. This is how nerdy I've gotten with classic rock. I'm so sick of classic rock. I'm now listening to all the solo albums of all the band fans. And Ron Wood's solo album, I got my own album to do. It's phenomenal.

[B]

Great.

[A]

It's what year I 70s, but it's go listen to that if you got free.

[B]

My own album to do. The worst name of it really is.

[A]

A bad name for an album. And I like. I just put it on on a whim, cuz had nothing to do. 74 came out, came out September 13th.

[B]

Richards played on it.

[A]

Oh, they all did. That's the thing. It's. It's basically a Stones album.

[B]

But Then he's the lead singer.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's really funny. Good. The album was thought to be a dig at Rod Stewart. Oh yeah, well, of course. Because Rod Stewart, he was. Ron Wood was in Faces with Rod Stewart.

[B]

And then so this is a him making fun of Rod Stewart going solo from the Faces by making his own solo album called I've got My own Album to do. Is this the most bitter old woman I've ever heard?

[A]

Also Ron Wood left the Faces and joined the Rolling Stones.

[B]

What are we talking about?

[A]

Mick Jones. Jones quit.

[B]

God.

[A]

What are we doing here?

[B]

You guys wanted. This is Uncle Corner. And guess what? You know what? It's nice. Do you want us to talk about vaccines?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You know what I mean? This is what our Uncle Corner is.

[A]

Yeah. Go straight from non offending pedophiles to classic rock.

[B]

It has to come out like this. I want you understand this right now. This is the inherent nature of being 41 years old.

[A]

These pedophiles are holding Wikipedia hostage. And Ace freely fell in a recording studio and died.

[B]

If you don't the news to us. Yes. And if you don't like it, there's other more indoctrinated programs that you can go listen to. There's plenty of comedians that are in Saudi Arabia. There's plenty of comedians there at the inauguration. You can go and listen to them. They're. You love them. Oh Lord.

[A]

Oh yeah. And then one of the Limp Biscuit members died.

[B]

Well, the basist.

[A]

The basis.

[B]

Sam Rivers. How do you die? They don't know. They haven't revealed yet. It could possibly be cancer. What I've heard. But he had a liver transplant. That's really back in the day from alcohol. Did you hear that they released the thing with Jane Goodall? How she died too? Yeah, she got. She died of terminal orgasm in a mukbang.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

She was eating a bunch of. She was eating a bunch of bananas. And these chimps. Chimps ate her out until she bled.

[A]

Yeah. You can't peel that back.

[B]

I really wish that they wouldn't release these things.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

The thing is cuz I wanted the mystery. I actually thought it would be nicer if she just died.

[A]

When I heard that chimps chew off lips, I didn't know they meant those lips.

[B]

Oh. Apparently they don't even like lips on ceramic dolls. They go with those.

[A]

How many listeners we lose throughout the episode.

[B]

I hope we lose everyone.

[A]

You're still listening. You're damage. Yeah.

[B]

I hope you lose every single one.

[A]

Of you from your grave, man. I'm irresponsible. Let's face it, I don't know what I'm doing. I, I, I buy things late at night. I, I sign up for stuff and then I never use it. You know, I go and I, I'm like, oh, this app looks cool, or this streaming service looks cool. And I watch one thing and then I forget it exists. And then what happens? Months go by. I'm paying for it and I'm paying for it and I'm paying for it and I don't even know it exists. That's where Rocket Money comes in. You go and you get Rocket Money, a personal finance app that helps you find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spendings, and helps you lower your bills so you can grow your savings. Do it.

[B]

You need it. You love it.

[A]

Cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Go to RocketMoney.com LPOTL today, that's RocketMoney.com LPOTL RocketMoney.com LPOTL.

[B]

Sling is changing the way live TV works by putting viewers in charge of their entertainment. Pay only for the months when TV is actually needed and skip the ones when it's not. For short term needs, Sling passes provide live TV access without commitment. A day pass for 4.99 offers 24 access, a week pass, blah, blah, blah, who cares? Unsling is the only place that you can watch your pretty faces going to hell on an app. It's the only place you see where you can do it. And so therefore it has become my favorite app. So you go to wherever the Sling is, find Sling and you can go to see your pretty face is going add to hell on it and that's all that matters. We're show people your pretty faces going to hell. Okay? So go get Sling. Great app. How I've organized my channel lineup is I put your pretty faces going to hell five times on it. So go check it out. Choose and customize your channel lineup or pause and watch for free. Sling lets you do that. Visit sling.com to learn more. This is an ad by BetterHelp. World Mental Health day is in October, which you'd know if you ask me about candy corn, because then sometimes I kind of irrationally pop off. It's actually really nice at world Mental health days in the middle of October, so that when I'm screaming and yelling, a lot of people are just thinking I'm watching horror movies, right? They don't even know that I'm like having problems Right. But that's where better health help comes in. It's shining the spotlight on therapists, people who truly make the world a better place. Because the right therapists can change everything. Better help therapists work according to a strict code of conduct and are fully qualified. Better help does the initial matching work for you so you can focus on your therapy goals like conquering your enemies. One of my favorite things to do in therapy is to run new bits and then get yelled at for my emotional distancing. It's BetterHelp. This World Mental Health Day. We're celebrating the therapists who've helped millions of people take a step forward. If you're ready to find the right therapist for you, BetterHelp can help you start that journey. Our listeners get 10% off their first [e-mail] LastPod that's BetterHelp. H E L P.com LastPod well, speaking.

[A]

Of listeners, maybe we get some of their mail.

[B]

Oh sure. It's a listener mail experience with Henry Sabrowski and Ed Larson. That's funny. Except for how. How much non offending pedophile material we just did. Yeah, it's a really nice stinger in the fact.

[A]

Any other episode.

[B]

Any other episode it might work.

[A]

Thanks, Rob.

[B]

It's very cute.

[A]

Is it from children or who, who sent that in?

[B]

That's from T.M. novak. He did a collab with his daughter on that one.

[A]

Wow, Great, thanks. I've got your real rethinking that collab now.

[B]

Well, I'm glad that that non offending pedophile won't do anything. Here we go. The pervert poltergeist.

[A]

Mmm.

[B]

My store takes place in Austin, Texas. For those not familiar with our capital city, downtown is a blend of shiny tech bro high rises, condos and historical buildings. A mile west of the city, the glass and concrete turn into cute 100 year old wood frame houses, now mostly converted to businesses. We're coming for it. We're sucking up your real estate. We're sucking it all up. We're going to take all the things from you.

[A]

Blowing your real estate.

[B]

My hair. A stylist, we'll call her Rosie always wanted to own her own salon. She moved into a 1920s 800 square foot house off of West 6th street and became one of those trendy businesses herself. Space was tight, dark and wood floors creaked, but it was balanced by large gold mirrors, stylish chairs and bold pops of color. She'd achieved her dream. Rosie also claimed the house came with a resident. She described the feeling of the presence of an old man or grandpa in the house. She would see him in the corner of the mirror as she cut and colored her client's hair. She would catch a reflection of him in the glass of the framed artwork above the shampoo chairs. She'd hear him shuffle up and down the hallways. When the day got quiet, she said he had a warm grandfatherly vibe and it felt like he was watching over her and her business.

[A]

Business.

[B]

She became so attached that if she went more than three or four days without some sort of interaction, she'd start to sort of worry about his well being. After three years, I'd never seen or felt a damn thing in that house. I'm pretty sensitive to the supernatural. I've seen full bodied apparitions, heard disembodied voices, Even became violently ill at Grayfriars Kirk, which is the outdoor concentration camp and side of in Edinburgh, the center of Edwards. We're looking really up. So when I felt out of concentration camp in Scotland, well, it was an outdoor prison yard. It was a cemetery that was built using the bones of the hundreds of thousands of people that were starved to death on open fields. Yeah, Ed is creepy.

[A]

Well, what are you going to do? You got all those bones. You got to build something.

[B]

Hey, tell me. So one hot Texas Friday night. That's literally the reason they gave. Yeah, they had to do something with the bodies. There were so many bodies that they couldn't figure out what to do with the bodies. So they turned the bodies into building materials themselves.

[A]

Same thing with the capuchin cemetery in Rome. You know, they were like, like they just gave some like weird goofy monk 400 bodies. Skeletons. Yeah, like make some art.

[B]

No, they made that weird. He was a. Well he, they had him, he did the art on his own.

[A]

They, they had to keep him busy.

[B]

I mean I, I'm glad they did. Did.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Cuz he would have made skeletons. One hot Texas Friday night, I needed my standard hair color hat. Texas night. Those of you don't know, a haircut in a color can be quite an ordeal. Hair dye is messy, so typically the customer takes off the top layer of clothing and puts on a protective smock. I know I do. I strip naked. I took off my top, put on my smock and headed to the salon chair. After a few hours, Rosie finished up my hair. Perfect as usual. It was the last appointment of the day. So it was just me and Rosie in the house as the sun started to set. Being women on our own after dark in the city. Rosie's Husband, we'll call him. Steven was supposed to come on by as she locked up to make sure we got to our cars safely.

[A]

They're protecting his identity. His real name is Steve Eddie.

[B]

Bleep that. As she headed to the back to wash up, she told me not to be alarmed if I heard a knock at the door since Stephen would be arriving arriving soon. I nodded and went to the bathroom to change back into my clothes. Since it was just the two of us, I left the door open so I took off my smock. I stood in the bathroom and nothing but my tiny cotton bra, low slung jeans.

[A]

What's going on here?

[B]

And my 25 year old bronze Latina body admiring my new haircut in color.

[A]

Are you making this up?

[B]

No, no. I'm horny. As I turned to put my top back on, out of the corner of my eye saw man walk past the doorway quickly stop, take a step back and pop his head in the doorway to get a good look at me. Startled, I blurted out oh my gosh, I'm so sorry. And I quickly covered myself with my shirt, beet red with embarrassment at Steven seeing me like that. I threw my top on, grabbed my purse and got out of there fast. Trying to address the obvious, I confessed to Rosie that Stephen had accidentally walked in on me topless to the bathroom. She looked at me and said, Steven's not here. I had just got off the phone with him. He's 15 minutes away. I froze. No, no. There was a man in the hallway. I said I saw him. He walked past the bathroom door, popped his head and we totally startled each other. Rosie just said, completely calm, totally serious. Yes, that's the man. That's him. Cool. And that was, was it for me. I ran out of there feeling guilty as hell for not believing her all those years. I couldn't believe it took me taking my top off for that old ghost to finally show himself. I guess we all have our strength. Honestly, show your tits more to ghosts. Yeah, ghosts want to see tits.

[A]

If you're worried about ghosts like harassing you, show me tits.

[B]

It's a ghost. You know, a lot of times it's a ghost. It helps, it alleviates things. I sure wish a ghost had showed my father herb tests cuz I feel like he only hadn't seen a bunch of in a while.

[A]

Yeah, I, I actually what I did to make the ghost of my house happy is I got nipples tattooed on my ass and so whenever that they show up, I just moon them and they're like oh, thank you oh, yeah.

[B]

Cuz then it looks like a Bulgarian woman babe. Floppy milk filled tits.

[A]

Yeah. And then you just hear the ghost masturbating and it's just like. Because there's nothing to do there.

[B]

Yep. So relaxed. I just want to say first of all, thank you to everybody that had given to my car. We're ending the episode. I want to say thank you to everyone that even tried to give to my Kickstarter.

[A]

Say thank you. We know it's over.

[B]

Yes. Yes, it is over, isn't it? And I just want to say thank you to everybody that reached out. They were very positive about the stuff we've been trying to do here. I totally get why people weren't entirely ready to give to a Kickstarter right now. It was. I do believe that it was poorly timed. But I will say I. I do think that people could maybe understand a little bit more that it's extremely difficult to get stuff done anymore. Yes. There are no outlets, there's no money to be given. Unless you're a Nepo baby or you are legitimately a predator at this point in time, you have to either be a predator or literally in bed with the administration. And it's actually just kind of difficult out there right now. So I do understand it being like. People being like, oh, I wish I could. The economy's bad. Totally fucking get it. Yeah, I understand. I'm going to have to. I'm going back to the drawing board. I've already found and had meetings. I'm already doing it. We're making unbelievably friendly organisms.

[A]

It's too good of an idea. It's definitely going to get made in some. In some time.

[B]

And the.

[A]

Sorry, the Kickstarter didn't work. It was, you know, it's so you can't raise that kind of money these days.

[B]

It's just one of those. I don't really care what. One thing that got to me was people sending really extremely mean messages, sort of just about the thing in general. And I think that's one of those where I don't think that everybody understands that you're chasing all the people that have hearts away from the industry. And so what I would say is that if, if they. It's hard, it's just hard out there. So I just kind of put out there. Just remember, I. Obviously I'm impervious to you, and as far as I'm concerned, I'll burn you all alive. But I do want you to know that there are little people in here that, that make stuff. And we're. We're really trying to make stuff that's good. And I know everybody thought it was like funny to talk about how I was just trying to make a movie to have sex with Jenna Hayes when I. That's not how that works. It's not really how it works. The movie was one scene in the movie and you guys all blew it out. And you guys, oddly, those people who talk like that kind of sound. Sound like a big old weird prudes to me. You actually sound like a bunch of like weird little purists.

[A]

They would have donated, though. I feel like they're allowed to say it.

[B]

Yes, yes. But I do believe the people that immediately had knee jerk reactions about Jenna Hayes, who I thought was very interesting as well, because it showed that you're not as progressive as maybe some of you think you are. So I would say. But just. I would remember that. So I remember that too. So. But otherwise we're keeping crushing here.

[A]

You guys, you have investors. It's getting made one way or another.

[B]

Oh, no, I'm not even. I'm just.

[A]

When you ranking a movie from scratch, man, it takes like eight years.

[B]

It's also. Not only does it take it eight years, but a movie's kind of like a baby where people say, how much money do you need to make a movie? And that movie says, how much do you have? Like, that is just how it works. It can go from $0 to $250 million. It'll take as much money as you want to give it. So I was already putting my money in. I had in a bunch of chunk. I've already put in chunks of money pretty paid for marketing or paid all for these other things. So it also wasn't completely coming out of my pocket, but now it is completely coming out of my pocket. So it is happening because I'm going to make it happen because I want to make a movie. And it's really about the making of the thing. And it's just important to remember that we're all trying to make stuff. So that's kind of what I try to remember too. When I am hard on a movie that's not very good, I do try to remember that it got made and how hard that fucking is. And I try to also remember that when I go and watch seven episodes of a television series, that's two years, three years, four years of somebody's life that you watch in an afternoon. And then sometimes people are like, all right, next. Yes, done. Thanks.

[A]

I mean, I'm like, that.

[B]

And it's like that was. That was years of somebody's life making that. So we're just kind of. We're in a. We're in a place here. You wonder why money guys have taken over the entire industry. It's because they want to. Cuz slop is reliable.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And that's what they, that's what they're looking for. They're looking for as much big buckets of. Of slop that they can serve you because that is what you're eating.

[A]

It's also like you remember you have to properly pay the staff and there's so much involved in it.

[B]

Everything. Everybody has to be paid because we're not doing it the old ways anymore. We're not doing it on a wish and a prayer. Everybody has to be paid. Everybody. These are liv. These are artists trying to live a life. And you got to understand too, I'm the last one making anything. So when you're the EP star of a movie, the reason why I'm the EP and stars. Because I'm free.

[A]

Yes. Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

No, you are free.

[B]

I. That, that is. I'm free. That means you don't got to pay me to be in my movie. You're going to pay me to executive produce my movie. So it's one of those. But to everybody that you feel about.

[A]

The scene that I pitched you, do you think it's going to go in? You don't remember the scene. I pitched it for myself. Yes.

[B]

Yes. I liked it.

[A]

You liked it?

[B]

Good.

[A]

Hell yeah. I was proud of that scene.

[B]

No, we got stuff. No, so we're doing it. But it's like to everybody who gets it, you get it. And for those of you that are maybe don't quite get it yet, just like, just. No, we're all sadly little pink little Chihuahuas in here. I wish we weren't. But I will. You and I will. I will kill your family. Yeah.

[A]

But you know, if you want to see an alien movie that's very stupid and silly. Find some people who have some money and send them the side stories. LPOTL gmail.com I'm untouched by your criticisms.

[B]

But at the same time, I will pluck your eyeballs out.

[A]

Yeah. So I find that.

[B]

So I don't know what that says about me.

[A]

Anytime someone writes anything mean about me, I just know that their life is horrible.

[B]

Well, that I do understand. That I understand. But also. But it's. It's not that. I guess it's just one of those of just understanding. It's just all. It's all. It's. It's fun, hard at many different levels. And so, yes, thankfully, I'm not digging ditches. I don't. I don't have a real job.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

But it's still got. It's got other things.

[A]

So support, remember, I think. I can't wait to see it. I can't wait to be a part of it. It's definitely going to happen. I'm excited.

[B]

No, it's awesome. And what is happening is vampire the Masquerade LPNRPG pod. It is coming out on October 2 29th. We already have. Our episodes are in the can. We're shooting even more now, like. So that is. That is ready to go. And it will be released to all of you. Go check out our trailer. It's going to be on our YouTube channel, LPN TV, and you will see it all. And it's with me, my sister and Ross Bryant, who is a legit, legit RPG player.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And it's all run by Jared Logan.

[A]

Jared Logan's the unbelievable genius. He's the best at this show.

[B]

He's the best in the business.

[A]

Yeah, he really is. I can't believe I'm so happy he's involved with us.

[B]

And it's extremely. And we're doing sort of the. Just so you know why we're even entering into the RPG space, which is we're doing something that is very, very different than what even dimension 20 does or what those other groups do, because we're going really fucking dark.

[A]

Yeah. And they can't even remember what they're doing over there at dementia 20. Tell me about it.

[B]

Also, praise hail Rob's cat.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

DJ Longtail has went over the Rainbow Bridge. Yes.

[A]

Thank you.

[B]

And I'm very sad for you, Rob. Thank you.

[A]

I'm sorry about your cat.

[B]

Hail, DJ Longtail. Now, if only. He's now advertising for a human woman. Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. We got to replace this cat with a human woman.

[B]

I got some human woman.

[A]

We got some dates coming up before we head out of here. This weekend, Henry and I are going to be in Redway at the Matteo Community Center. If you haven't gotten your tickets for that yet, come check us out. We're there with Billy Wayne Davis. We're going to be giving some prizes away for our costume contest.

[B]

They're not great.

[A]

There.

[B]

They are there. And we're going to be in full costume, so I want you to be in full costume, too.

[A]

Yeah, my costume gets in tomorrow before we leave. I'm cutting it by the Wire. If not, I'm dressing in weed. And then October 25th, all three of us are going to be at the Fox Theater in Oakland for Last Podcast on the Left Live. Come and check that out. There's still tickets available for that. And then here's some other dates. These are mixed in my standup side story shows, but there's lots of stuff coming down the road. I do just booked a bunch of stuff. I expect to see you people out there on November 2, the day before the Crime Wave cruise. I'm doing a set in Miami at the Dead Flamingo Club. Come and check that out. If you're coming to the cruise, come to this before all these links are on eddytunes.com so go and check that out.

[B]

This cruise is gonna be ridiculous. Yes.

[A]

No, we're dressing up. I'm buying outfits. I'm trying to wear different. Julie and Natalie are planning stuff out. Very well. We're gonna have a lot of fun on this. Very, very excited. I am not a fan of cruises. Excited for this.

[B]

I can't wait, dude.

[A]

Yeah. I can't wait. And then on November 8th, I'm gonna be in Orlando with my buddy Disney, Dan Becker doing Dead Men Tell Some Tales at the conduit theater at 4:00pm Henry. I'm doing a 4:00pm show. I'm excited.

[B]

We've won.

[A]

I feel like I. Yes.

[B]

Seven o' clock shows.

[A]

Seven o'.

[B]

Clock. That's what we want. We want six o', clock, seven o' clock shows.

[A]

Yeah, I want. I don't think anyone's against a 5pm show.

[B]

Well, the problem is from work. I think six is probably latest. Yes.

[A]

On the weekend, you do whatever.

[B]

I think 6 is probably the latest. We could maybe push it, but we're trying to be able to eat dinner after these shows, guys.

[A]

It's better than me showing up all bloated on steak.

[B]

We want to eat dinner after the shows. This is about us. Do you want to be. You have to allow some things for your uncles. Yes. You have to allow some things. Okay.

[A]

We get older, our lives change.

[B]

I just. All we want to. He's a big, sloppy meal. And I honestly think that if we get our shows earlier, maybe we can start working with restaurants. Big group meals after the shows. We can all go to.

[A]

Yeah. Vi eats the.

[B]

Write that down.

[A]

Eat and greet. Eat and Greet.

[B]

Oh, my God, dude. We got to do an Eat and Green. I would love to do an eat.

[A]

At a Buca di Beppo or something.

[B]

Oh, we're doing one yeah. During one of these side stories, we're doing an eat. We have to figure out out what that we got. Oh, my God. Yes.

[A]

Yeah. All right, but so November 16th, mic drop comedy San Diego. I'm doing that show with Amber Nelson, Ashley Brook Roberts and Julie Rosing. December 7th, we got side stories in Vegas at Wise Guys. That's going to be a lot of fun. And then January 4th, I'm in Oxnard. Ed Larson and Friends. Dude, I booked Carolina, Jake and Holden. I'm making them reunite and do a set together. Julia John's gonna be on that show and then going to be in San Francisco on Wednesday, February 18th. And that is leading up to our big side stories run in Alaska. We're going to Alaska in February, so you're welcome. Alaska. Come hang out with us. We're going to be in Anchorage on February 20th and Fairbanks on February 21st. Also, shout out to everyone who just. They just had a huge national disaster and they had to move like a, like a whole, like community of people to Anchorage. So it's a. Everything's up. Make sure you, you check that out. Donate if you can.

[B]

But we can't come. We can't wait to come.

[A]

I can't wait to be there. It's gonna be amazing. I'm finally gonna see Alaska. Chuck it off the list and let's end the show.

[B]

Dude, thank you guys so much. And again, I really do love you many ways.

[A]

Yeah, I think you're cool too.

[B]

Hail Satan.

[A]

Hail the cat. Long Long tail.

[B]

DJ Log. DJ Longtail. Pandora makes it easy for you to find your favorite music. Discover new artists and genres by selecting any song or album and we'll make you a personalized station for free download on the Apple App Store or Google Play and enjoy the soundtrack to your life. Hey, everybody, it's Babs.

[A]

You know, one thing that makes the.

[B]

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