Side Stories: Law & Otter

Summary

Last Podcast On The Left: Side Stories – "Law & Otter"

Podcast Network: The Last Podcast Network
Episode Date: November 12, 2025
Hosts: Henry Zabrowski & Ed Larson

Episode Overview

In this delightfully chaotic episode of Side Stories, Henry Zabrowski and Ed Larson return from their fan event “Crime Wave at Sea” to share tales of cruise misadventures, animal attacks, bizarre crime stories, and the latest in oddball news reports. With their signature blend of gallows humor, irreverence, and tangents that flirt with madness, the hosts leap from personal anecdotes and audience shoutouts to coverage of everything from elephants with vendettas to the Vegas human remains mystery—plus a running bit about a new canine office visitor, dubious underwear advice, and a truly bizarre array of listener gifts.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Post-Crime Wave at Sea Recap

• Cruise Adventures: Henry and Ed are freshly back from “Crime Wave at Sea,” their live pod cruise.
  • Henry: “We can’t talk enough about how much fun we had. It was just—it was so good getting to know everybody, hanging out with the fans.” (04:09)
  • Highlights include an orgy (not with the hosts, they assure) and a vibrant dance competition.
  • Legendary Connect 4 Match: Shoutout to Chris, who challenged Ed’s boast of being undefeated in Connect 4. After an epic best-of-five, Ed retained his champion status.
    • Ed: “When you play me and Connect Four, you lose. That’s the thing. W’s are W.” (09:28)
• Cruise Complaints:
  • No midnight buffet: “Royal Caribbean. No Midnight buffet. What the—” (19:19)
  • Frustration with elderly travelers delaying flight connections, sparking a rant about air travel and the trials of traveling with “old pieces of shit.”
  • General affection and thanks extended liberally to fans and crew.

2. Underwear Problems and Crowdsourced Solutions

• Henry revisits his ongoing issue: “My underwear falls down inside of my pants and it makes my life difficult.” (12:01)
  • Receives 120+ responses from listeners, especially women who empathize and send photos (not of “genitalia, just evidence”—11:41).
  • Expert Listener Advice: A listener with a fashion background suggests cloth, button-up underwear or boxers to avoid elastic “betraying” the wearer (12:45).
  • Henry reacts to the idea of men’s full-bodysuit underwear and Spanx with disbelief and mockery.
    • “Men are seriously wearing full body Underoos.” (13:56)

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3. News & Oddities

Ghislaine Maxwell Prison Updates & Political Tangents

• Ghislaine Maxwell allegedly enjoys “diamond class” treatment in jail:
  • “She’s being waited upon hand and foot and they’re bringing her special food and…allowances.” (19:02)
• P. Diddy in Jail:
  • “He got caught doing an illegal triple zoom call…he’s in a lot of trouble.” (19:36)
• Government Shutdown Commentary:
  • Heavy sarcasm and anger over political dysfunction, mentioning alleged Trump–Epstein connections.
  • “They hate that you want to live. They just wish that you could work for free.” (21:44)

Animal Revenge: The Elephant That Wouldn’t Let Go

• Vengeful Elephant in Malaysia:
  • A man is attacked by a wild elephant, returns to his tent, only for the same elephant to return and kill him.
  • Ed: “Elephants never forget.” (25:04)
  • Comedy riff on animal territory and the intelligence, unpredictability, and danger of elephants.
  • Listeners invited to send in “crazy elephant stories” (27:52)

Bizarre Crime: Woman Chained by ‘Friends’

• Torture in Texas:
  • A woman chained up and tortured by friends “because they ‘didn’t like her anymore’” (28:05).
  • Parallels drawn to a similar Ohio polygamist abuse case.
  • The group used handcuffs, BB guns, and severe food deprivation, all justified by their hatred for the victim.
  • Ed: “It’s not enough. You know, I hate lots of people.” (32:00)

Las Vegas Desert Cremains Mystery

• Piles of Human Ashes Dumped in Desert:
  • Over 300 sets of cremains found, likely dumped by a funeral home.
  • Discussion on dignity (or lack thereof) accorded to unclaimed remains.
  • Henry: “Why is it a showgirl? Someone like. This is such a Vegas lo[s]t. This is why Vegas is falling apart.” (42:49)
  • Jokes about how Vegas could integrate the remains into their show culture; riffs on Vegas entertainment’s decline.

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4. The Peanut Butter (Sunflower Butter) Man of Purdue

• Viral Campus Incident:
  • A student covers himself in (what looked like) peanut butter, causing a campus-wide peanut allergy panic.
  • Twist: It was actually sunflower butter.
  • The incident sparks debate about “low-level domestic terrorism,” food wastage, and university discipline.
  • Henry: “It’s just fun to do. It’s better than shooting up a movie mall, right? I think it’s fine.” (47:10)

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5. Florida’s Search & Rescue Otter

• Otter Joins Sheriff’s Department:
  • A real otter is officially part of a Florida search and rescue team, succeeding only “two out of five times.”
  • Henry: “That’s not enough! If he solves underwater mysteries five out of five times, then send the otter.” (50:29)
  • Hilarity over the idea of training animals for public service; Henry and Ed would prefer a pig over an otter for rescues.

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6. Listener Stories & Additional Bits

• Haunted Frat House:
  • A listener recounts tales of a frat house plagued by vanishings, apparitions, and strange noises, culminating in a sighting of a child-sized apparition on a staircase (61:43).
• Aliens from the Ocean?:
  • Another story describes shadowy figures emerging from the Atlantic at night and dispersing silently, unobserved by bystanders (67:00).
  • Ed is skeptical of secondhand stories but delights in their entertainment value.

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7. Surprise Gift Segment: Adult Toy Unboxing

• A listener, Colette from Zero Tolerance, sends the hosts an array of explicit “strokers”—molded adult toys, including some disturbingly foot-themed variants.
  • Henry (upon seeing the foot one): “You can fuck it through the hole. Oh, that’s real.” (69:34)
  • Ed: “This is for people who have given up.” (72:49)
  • Bizarre contest: They offer to sign and send the foot toy to the “widower with the saddest story.” (75:12)
  • The entire segment spirals into mocking, discomfort, and a quest to find a worthy winner for the saddest sex toy giveaway in podcasting history.

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• On cruise events and fans:
  “We saw people, like, change who they were by the end of it, you know, like, people showed up like they’re real mousey, and by the end, they’re, like, dancing on top of each other, like, dangerously crazy. It was wild.”
  — Henry Zabrowski (05:18)
• On losing faith in politicians:
  “They hate that you want to live. They just wish that you could work for free. And I get it. It’s so hard.”
  — Henry Zabrowski (21:44)
• On elephants as the ultimate revenge animal:
  “Elephants never forget. They never forget you fucked up…You took his trees. He’s coming back. He gonna kill your ass.”
  — Ed Larson (25:04–25:09)
• Unadvisable Animal Rescue:
  “If it’s two out of five times, don’t send the otter. He’s just going to end up chewing on me.”
  — Henry Zabrowski (50:40)
• On bizarre gifts:
  “If anybody sees this in your home, they will never touch you ever again. I think this is for people who have given up.”
  — Ed Larson (72:47–72:49)

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Structured Timestamps for Important Segments

• [04:09] – [05:29]: Cruise recap; Connect Four challenge; dance-off stories
• [11:09] – [14:40]: Underwear woes; community solutions
• [19:02] – [22:14]: Ghislaine Maxwell/Trump jail/political news segment
• [23:36] – [27:58]: Malaysian vengeful elephant story, animal attacks tangent
• [28:05] – [35:12]: Texas torture case, groupthink abuse stories
• [36:07] – [44:46]: Las Vegas cremains dump; funeral industry commentary; Vegas riffing
• [45:33] – [49:36]: Peanut butter (sunbutter) panic at Purdue
• [50:17] – [54:46]: Florida’s police otter; debate OTTER vs. child/pig/dogs in rescue scenarios
• [61:43] – [63:50]: Listener haunted frat house story
• [67:00] – [68:39]: Alien/ocean story (listener-submitted)
• [69:22] – [76:20]: Sex toy unboxing & contest; widower giveaway
• Throughout: Listener thanks, plugs for live shows (notably in Las Vegas, Columbus, Alaska)

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Tone & Color

The hosts’ banter is loud, lewd, and endlessly tangential, punctuated by sudden serious commentary on social issues, barely-controlled giggling, and total commitment to bits—no matter how absurd or NSFW. Henry and Ed maintain a lovable degenerate uncle energy, oscillating between dark humor and genuine warmth for their fans.

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Summary for Non-Listeners

This Side Stories episode is quintessential LPOTL: raucous, profane, yet unexpectedly friendly. It’s a whirlwind tour through recent true crime, wild animal stories, listener submissions, and the dumbest news headlines they can find, all filtered through the hosts’ deranged worldview. Highlights include post-cruise shenanigans, shock at an “underwear support” scholarship, the terrifying intelligence of elephants, an entire comedy riff on how not to dump human ashes, and the single weirdest sex toy contest ever devised. If you haven’t listened, expect a wild, NSFW, and often hilarious exploration of the world’s worst and strangest news—with just enough community weirdness to keep it all grounded.

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Listen for:

• What REALLY happened on a true crime cruise
• The only Connect Four champion that matters
• A Malaysian elephant’s years-long grudge
• The world’s most inefficient search-and-rescue otter
• A listener’s haunted frat house
• 300+ piles of cremated remains in Vegas—AND what to do with them (hint: involve showgirls)
• A side-splitting, slightly disturbing adult toy contest ("Widower with the saddest story")

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Email your sad widower stories (or other oddities) to: [e-mail]

Next live show: December 7, Wise Guys, Las Vegas – bring your own cremains (or not).

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Endnote:
If you want to catch the full insanity, listen to the unabridged episode wherever you get podcasts. Just maybe not at work, around children, or anyone who might ask, “What’s that about a foot?”

Transcript

[Henry Zabrowski]

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[Ed Larson]

At Amica Insurance, we're built for our.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Customers and prioritize your needs. Call 877-41-America for a free coverage review. There's no place to escape to.

[Ed Larson]

This is the last on the left side stories.

[Henry Zabrowski]

That's when the cannibalism started. Side stories. Yes. Yes.

[Ed Larson]

New LPN dog in the house.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Ski dog.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yes.

[Ed Larson]

Champ. It's Rob's new dog and I'm playing with him. Say hi to the people, Champ.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Wow. Nothing.

[Ed Larson]

Nothing, huh? Wow. You stung while me.

[Henry Zabrowski]

You know. You know Indiana Jones? You know Indiana Jones, that's for certain.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Not yet.

[Ed Larson]

Okay, now I'm gonna let him go and he's gonna get caught in the wires.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yes.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Let him run around.

[Ed Larson]

Don't let him get electro puppy teeth.

[Henry Zabrowski]

He does. Yeah, he got me good.

[Ed Larson]

I'm training them how to bite people.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah, it's good to do.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. Get him real aggressive.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Hate every man. Hate every man. Attack every man. You see.

[Ed Larson]

Okay, now I got him all crazy. I'll give him to you.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah, good work. Now I'm. And I'm sitting here. You had a puppy in front of you. I have the deeply emasculating iPad again.

[Ed Larson]

Oh, yes. What happened to you?

[Henry Zabrowski]

My computer just exploded again.

[Ed Larson]

I gotta get a death.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I do wonder if it's the sheer passion.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

If it just can handle.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. Cuz it's just. You love it too much.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Oh, yeah. Because I'm always like. Especially when I'm alone. Nothing is more passionate than the masturbating of a married man alone.

[Ed Larson]

Oh, man. I was just hanging out with my boys in Orlando and we got. And I. I rented two. Two townhouses.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Okay.

[Ed Larson]

And then one of them has. You know, my buddy was in the king bed and I was sleeping in a twin bed.

[Henry Zabrowski]

That's very nice of you.

[Ed Larson]

It was very nice. It was very nice of me. And I did it and I was.

[Henry Zabrowski]

But.

[Ed Larson]

And then my Other buddies.

[Henry Zabrowski]

It shows that you could still be one of the people.

[Ed Larson]

But the thing is, the other place was like the townhouse full of married men, and they weren't staying the last night. So I'm like, oh, I'll go over there and then I'll. I'll take the nice bed in the other place. You know, separate. And then I thought, this married man.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Never sleep in the bed of a married man he's away from one night. Oh, yeah. Married man with kids.

[Ed Larson]

It was. I didn't even want to look at the dude. I was like, you know what? I'm going to go. I'm going to sleep in that twin bed one more time because I don't know what he did in there.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Something. I. Shit. I don't wipe, and I just don't put underwear on.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

You know, I mean, something will roll around. And I eat in bed.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. If I'm alone, if the women are gone, especially people who like us, it don't matter. We're gone all the time. So it's like I've lost the romance of being by myself on the road.

[Henry Zabrowski]

No, there is none.

[Ed Larson]

There's none anymore. But these guys, never alone.

[Henry Zabrowski]

No.

[Ed Larson]

So, you know, it was like he probably went for like four or five times.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Oh, very much so. And there's like. They're doing stuff. They're doing, like, Albert Fish stuff.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

At some point, like, if you're that type of Mary, that's really. Honestly scares the. That scares me.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. So I slept in a twin bed for three nights.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Well, you don't look like it.

[Ed Larson]

Thank you. Thank you. I'm. It's. It's weird being in a bed that you're bigger than.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I know.

[Ed Larson]

Just, like, feet hanging off the side of it. You know.

[Henry Zabrowski]

You'Re like, oh, we better bring him four whole roast chickens or he'll destroy the inn. Welcome to Side Stories. I'm Henry Zabrowski. I'm sitting here with the too big for twin bed. Ed Larson. Oh.

[Ed Larson]

Oh. How you doing? What's going on, buddy? I haven't seen you in hours.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Almost. Almost a full 24 hours. Eddie and I just got back from crime wave at sea. We can't talk enough about how much fun we had. It was just. It was so good getting to know everybody, hanging out with the fans.

[Ed Larson]

Not one bag in the bunch.

[Henry Zabrowski]

That was my rule.

[Ed Larson]

I was. I couldn't believe it.

[Henry Zabrowski]

That was my hard and fast rule at the very, very top. Was like, if any. Any single massive, horrific emergency happens at all, we're Never doing this again. But it was. Honestly, nobody died. Nobody got hurt. I know that there was some wife swapping.

[Ed Larson]

Yes, but not with ours.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Not with our.

[Ed Larson]

Not with ours.

[Henry Zabrowski]

No. Our wife. Our wives can't stand other husbands.

[Ed Larson]

No, no, no. They're barely like us.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah. Oh, yeah. So it's one of those where the. It was truly a. You guys were really, really good. I want to say thank you.

[Ed Larson]

We can confirm there was at least one orgy.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I know that there was. And for that, honestly, dude, Rob, you missed out, man. It was a. And it was truly a blast. Everybody was in really good spirits, and we want to thank you.

[Ed Larson]

We saw people, like, change who they were by the end of it, you know, like, people showed up like they're real mousey, and by the end, they're, like, dancing on top of each other, like, dangerously crazy. It was wild.

[Henry Zabrowski]

It was pretty amazing. So that prime wave at sea. Thank you, guys. Everybody over at irl. IRL event and Royal Caribbean.

[Ed Larson]

Ryan, Truly, all you animals.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Can't believe it. Can't believe nobody died. Robert the Cop and Royal Caribbean. Honestly was pretty nice.

[Ed Larson]

Oh, yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Except for the fact. And Eddie and I are going to talk about this, you know, just very quickly, because we don't want this to. We are going to eventually develop our own uncle segment. We're going to need to do this separate from everything.

[Ed Larson]

Who we are at this point. At first we were like, ah, should we do this every week? But now I just realized we. We are that.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Do you want me saying no cap and sorry. I'm not gonna. We're not gonna become flagrant here.

[Ed Larson]

All right.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah, we're not doing that. We're not saying. I don't even know what it means uncs. Now that's fine. I'll take that.

[Ed Larson]

I'll take. Yeah, that's dead ass, dude.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah, it's super. I do like that. I do, too.

[Ed Larson]

I do enjoy dead ass.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I do as well.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

But Royal Caribbean. No Midnight buffet. What the.

[Ed Larson]

We're talking about this for months. We're talking about the midnight.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I mean it. After just. There was no food.

[Ed Larson]

There was just pizza.

[Henry Zabrowski]

But. But you have to wait. Even you have to for that P. You had to wait online for so long. We are already. We're all charged up. We're all filled with the water.

[Ed Larson]

Buffet is a real thing that should exist. It always has. Also, none of the floors on the ship have fun names anymore.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Don't do the names anymore because people get lost.

[Ed Larson]

It's just. It's just 1 and 2 and 3 and 4.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Fuck you. Also lemonade. In the middle of all this calamity of the fucking government shutdown and air traffic controllers calling out, and it's extremely, extremely fucked up to be traveling right now through the air. The. One of the things that drove me fucking nuts was coming out of Fort Lauderdale and we were on time to our connecting flight. The old pieces of shit that getting onto that plane made us miss the connection. It took an hour and 20 minutes to board. There were 30 wheelchairs, and each one of them was difficult. It was. They weren't smiling and shit. They're all coming, going.

[Ed Larson]

I missed the old wheelchair.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Like, they're all like. And they're all surprised. They were in a plane. You know, old people. What happens to old people? At some point you hit 72 years old and it's like you lose the ability to emotionally regulate to be able to figure out how to do things on your own.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, old people, I think, really, like, it's always nice. You always have these dreams like, oh, I'm gonna take Meemaw to Paris one day.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Leave Meemaw at home.

[Ed Larson]

Old people need to stay at home. They're done. I think it's official. Keep them at home. Oh, before we go on past the cruise, though, I gotta say, shout out to my boy Gator. Gator. Chris. He came for the crown. You didn't make it. You came super close, dude.

[Henry Zabrowski]

But you guys did not know. We fucking had the most epic Connect 4 battle that Ed has ever. Because truly, he was good. He was really good, you guys. This is one of the big unadvertised elements of a cruise with us, is the fact that a man arrived at our Q and A with a Connect4 board. After Ed Larson has said multiple times he is undefeated amongst our friend group in playing Connect 4. They did an exhibition match, which he won. His name's Chris.

[Ed Larson]

Chris.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah. He did great.

[Ed Larson]

I think he's like a doctor or something.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah, some dumb.

[Ed Larson]

Some kind of stupid doctor. Don't be his patient because he can't even win in Connect 4.

[Henry Zabrowski]

But then during our dance competition, in which I almost bested five competitors against me, two Nine Inch Nails hurt. Eddie beat the out of Chris.

[Ed Larson]

I mean, I didn't beat the out of it. It went. We had best of five. It went to full five.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah, I know. And I made.

[Ed Larson]

I of us had fault matches too, so it was like. It was. It was really intense. It actually was the best of five that won seven games.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I made $2,500.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, that's really cool.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah. I mean on that. And I love.

[Ed Larson]

I love illegal gambling at seas and.

[Henry Zabrowski]

The money that I made from that caused that person not be able to get home.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. What are you going to get from that?

[Henry Zabrowski]

From the lottery.

[Ed Larson]

Now he's eating cats.

[Henry Zabrowski]

And I. I have no sympathy for them.

[Ed Larson]

No, you can't. Why would you have sympathy for a loser?

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah. Losers lose.

[Ed Larson]

Losers lose. When you play me and Connect Four, you lose.

[Henry Zabrowski]

That's the thing. W's are W. Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

So if we ever cruise again, I hope to see you some coming to challenge me and try to take the crown. I am the champion. I'm gonna. You know what? And this is untrained, by the way. I haven't played in years and I'm still the goddamn champion.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I know you're like Bo Jackson.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, I really am. But just show up unpracticed. Home run, Stu.

[Henry Zabrowski]

That's what you. You truly impressed me.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. I don't give a about you. Go yourselves. You. Although I did like the Chris guy. He thought he was very nice.

[Henry Zabrowski]

He was extremely funny. And everybody, again, thank you to everybody that came to Crime Wave at Sea. We had a fucking blast.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. Someone gave me a pile of tiny orcas that I was just giving to people the whole time.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Oh, yeah, that was really cute.

[Ed Larson]

That was really cute. Yeah, Ashley hooked me up with all them tiny orcas. Thank you.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Thank you for everybody, all the lovely.

[Ed Larson]

Gifts speaking the tiny orcas. I'm gonna be in San Diego this weekend. If you're around on Sunday. San Diego, Mic drop comedy or tiny orcas.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Is that the name of your new fan base?

[Ed Larson]

That's the day I am turning into a tiny orca. That's what that is. What's happening.

[Henry Zabrowski]

You're eating a lot of tin fish.

[Ed Larson]

Yes.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Oh, I love it.

[Ed Larson]

Yes. So come see me this weekend if you're in San Diego. We're gonna have a lot of fun with Amber, Ashley and Julie.

[Henry Zabrowski]

You can smell them.

[Ed Larson]

Yes.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Well, the smell of smoked heroin, herring. Like he's the queen of Switzerland. God knows what they eat over there. We have a little bit of an update. First of all, the response I got back talking about my obviously vulnerable admission.

[Ed Larson]

About your underwear don't work.

[Henry Zabrowski]

It falls down inside of my pants. I'm going to add this here. Semi sick. 83, 88. We have over 120 responses.

[Ed Larson]

Really? So this happens. This. You're not the only person this happens to.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Nope. You connected with the. I want to say also I want to get. I really want to Say thank you to the beautiful woman contingent that have are dealing with this and to those of you that sent pictures. Great. So many people sending pictures of their deflated underwear. The how it won't hang.

[Ed Larson]

Pictures like.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Just stuff of like their pants. Like wearing tight pants and underwear bunched up at the very bottom. Okay.

[Ed Larson]

These people aren't sending you genital pictures.

[Henry Zabrowski]

No, I wish.

[Ed Larson]

You know, just don't wish for it. They'll send it.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I know but I'm just saying I saw a lot of evidence of it and it's the women's bravery that came forward that. That really kind of touched me a lot. And a lot of people obviously there was a lot of very funny answers about how I'm supposed to fix this problem. Again to elucidate. My underwear falls down inside of my pants.

[Ed Larson]

Yes.

[Henry Zabrowski]

And it makes my life difficult. Several people. This is kind of the responses. I got some really funny, no junk joke answers. I got some. There's several just pictures of Hank Hill's butt. Several messages of just stop wearing underwear.

[Ed Larson]

Thanks.

[Henry Zabrowski]

My wife loves that. My jeans love that.

[Ed Larson]

I could see you in a thong.

[Henry Zabrowski]

High waisted underwear combined with slacks. Right. No more jeans. Which also what's high waisted underwear for a man?

[Ed Larson]

I think that's a girdle.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I'm again I'm not fine there. But finally this, this is the actual answer that I'm now trying to figure out what to do because they're saying to the big answer that I'm getting from from ladies is to switch to cloth button up.

[Ed Larson]

Cloth button up.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yes. So this is what they're saying from Ashley. I studied fashion in college and I might be able to put you on the right path with solving your egg shaped man underwear problem. Elastic will always try to find the narrowest part of your body. Tying elastic around the waist is how we find the smallest part of a woman's torso. And dressmaking therefore doing that thing with it seems logical. And getting tighter waist will not work. This is also why doesn't matter what size you are, if your middle isn't the narrowest part of you your waistband will move somewhere that it is. I would suggest either going for pairs that are just. Just staying up so that the elastic isn't strained as much or cloth button up boxers. There's no elastic ring to betray you. And this is Rob just put up piece of underwear in which I'm supposed to wear underwear from the tops of my knees to my rib cage. So I'm supposed to wear a bodysuit like I Am.

[Ed Larson]

I mean, winners coming up. Dude.

[Henry Zabrowski]

You know what? It just.

[Ed Larson]

I feel I gotta say though, this is balls available but extra large and large are. They're sold out. So this makes me think they work.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I just.

[Ed Larson]

It makes me. The bigger sizes are sold out. It makes me think that this works.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Men are seriously wearing full body Underoos.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

In which it has look nice rounder bum is the company. They're not sponsored. It is a built in thong. And how are you supposed to get it in out of this to have diary?

[Ed Larson]

Henry, I think this would be really good for you. Like at least on stage.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah. Honestly, I feel like just like on stage. Like it's just about on stage.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, it's about on stage.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Instead of what I'm sitting here.

[Ed Larson]

Or if you're at a wedding, you.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Know, and you're doing a lot of.

[Ed Larson]

Dancing or something, you know.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Performing at a wedding.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, performing at a wedding.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Doing karaoke.

[Ed Larson]

Loki. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So yeah, I don't think. I think. I think in this situation you can keep your dirty, horrible underwear. But like I think, oh, this guy's got a full suit.

[Henry Zabrowski]

That is ridiculous. What in the living is this for.

[Ed Larson]

Models to do this? That's all like.

[Henry Zabrowski]

It's AI drawing. Yeah, it's AI drawings.

[Ed Larson]

It's like a video game.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I'm now looking at a full body underwear piece that involves like. It's like a. It's like a. Well, one piece like bathing suit for a man with sleeves.

[Ed Larson]

Bringing it back.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Wait, why?

[Ed Larson]

I'd love to see you in this. I feel like Spanx would be good for you.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Spanx hurt.

[Ed Larson]

Do they? You've tried them?

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yes.

[Ed Larson]

Really?

[Henry Zabrowski]

Spanx hurt.

[Ed Larson]

Was it getting spanked? Because I've heard that hurts sometimes.

[Henry Zabrowski]

But sometimes this is just the right way.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Oh, something. Teach me another lesson.

[Ed Larson]

I like when they spank me in the middles.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah. Nothing's like right in the hole. Right in the hole. And then like some of you lick it. You go. We have stories today, guys. I promise you we'll get to some stories. The year is 2012. The setting, new York City. There are a thousand stories in the naked city and this one is about blood. Vampires are real. They stalk the streets, feeding on the living. Nobody is safe. Join me, Henry Zabrowski, along with Jackie Zabrowski and veteran TRPG player Ross Bryant for an actual play series set in the the Masquerade universe from the Mind of Game master Jared Luger. The show will premiere on the LPN TV YouTube channel, starting on Wednesday, October 29th and will release on a weekly basis. People will die, then get back up and bite you. Will my character succumb to the beast?

[Ed Larson]

With him?

[Henry Zabrowski]

Can Jackie navigate the Byzantine intrigues of the dam? The future is a mystery. All we know is it's gonna be a bloodbath. LPNRPG presents Bloodbath every Wednesday on the LPN TV YouTube channel. It all begins on October 29th. Enjoy the mystery. As a small business owner, you know that change is the name of the game. Operational costs, labor markets, tariffs. Wouldn't it be nice if something stayed with the same? How about your business Internet rate? Get reliable, secure 5G business Internet from T Mobile for business for $50 a month with a 5 year price guarantee when paired with a voice line, that's the stability you need from a partner you can depend on. Switch now@t mobile.com BI/ taxes and fees guarantee exclusions like taxes and fees applies to exclusions and details@t mobile.com Clorox Toilet Wand it's all in one. Clorox Toilet Wand. It's all in one. Hey, what does all in one mean? The CADD, the wand, the preloaded pad. There's a cleaner in there inside the pad.

[Ed Larson]

So Clorox Toilet Wand is all I.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Need to clean a toilet.

[Ed Larson]

You don't need a bottle of solution to get into this toilet revolution.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Clorox Clean feels good.

[Ed Larson]

Use as directed.

[Henry Zabrowski]

There was a. Actually, I want to hear it once. We got an update for you. It's an island adventure.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Heck yeah.

[Ed Larson]

It's Jeffrey. What's our update?

[Henry Zabrowski]

Is it.

[Ed Larson]

How is it how just Lane is getting special treatment in this jail?

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yes. So this is the big thing that the new news that's coming out is obviously the Trump administration said that Ghislaine Maxwell was getting no different separate or any form of cushy treatment. The brand new medium security jail. She was dropped off and even though she's a convicted human trafficker, they went. She is apparently now the whistleblowers from inside the jail because we've covering this how they're shutting people up from calling about what's going on inside of the jail. Like fellow. Her fellow prisoners. We now know for a fact that she's being led in a form of like with the way they put it was like, like she's being like diamond class.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

She's being waited upon hand and foot and they're bringing her special food and they're giving her special allowances to go work out and they're doing all this stuff. So Ghislaine is getting very, very comfortable down there.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, she really is. She's staying in her just lane, that's for damn sure.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Absolutely. And there's a lot they're really trying to. She's still seeking commutation of her sentence. We know that's going to happen. We know P. Diddy's also next on the list. Not looking as likely because P. Diddy's not doing well in jail right now.

[Ed Larson]

He got hammered.

[Henry Zabrowski]

He's making a lot of bad mistakes. He got caught doing an illegal triple zoom call.

[Ed Larson]

He caught.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Got call. He got caught.

[Ed Larson]

How did he do a triple zoom call?

[Henry Zabrowski]

He was doing a. He was. He literally merged. He was merging in jail. He got that. That's. He's in a lot of trouble.

[Ed Larson]

Merged in therapy.

[Henry Zabrowski]

And I also got a really interesting email from somebody that said part of the reason why we're seeing this massive dragging their feet of opening up the government. We now know that there's a nominal agreement to maybe open the government again because Democrats fold because they're a bunch of cowardless pieces of shit. Right. And so.

[Ed Larson]

But we all sitting here getting our ass handed to us and you're just going to quit for nothing.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Literally watching tumbles. The plane tumbles out of the sky and people. Whatever. Fine. Whatever. This is not. We're not. We're not msnbc.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. Federman sucks.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yep. We don't. So we now know that they. That we. But nothing has been confirmed again. This is coming out tomorrow. So it's going to be. God knows what the news is going to be.

[Ed Larson]

Really.

[Henry Zabrowski]

But it seems that one of the big issues here is a. There are documents inside of this file that are actually quite bad.

[Ed Larson]

Okay.

[Henry Zabrowski]

President, United States of America. So I'm getting little birdies telling me that a part of the issue is that. And I'm going to do this. What's fun is that I'm just going to say this without any proof because I can.

[Ed Larson]

Well, we don't. Alleged. Alleged details.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah. I love it. Is that Trump's got pictures. There are pictures of Trump with. With children.

[Ed Larson]

Well, I mean, of course. I mean he had the beauty pageant. He's just. He bragged about walking around and checking him out naked.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah. So we. That, that. That's kind of. They're saying that part of the reason why they are really trying to fight this, the government from opening this because they are hoping that the clout that they will get. The political clout that they will get from opening. From this happening after. How Badly. Everyone's going to be angry at them from opening up the government.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Because they're going to do this vote. They're going to rush this Epstein vote again. I'll believe it when I see it.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, I'll believe it. When? For sure.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yes, but doesn't matter.

[Ed Larson]

They're taking away our health insurance.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah. Oh, no. Either way, they did the thing that they wanted to do in the first place. Don't worry, Democrats wanted to do it too.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

So it's not a. This is not a partisan issue. They hate. They hate that you want to live. They just wish that you could work for free. And. And I get it. It's so hard.

[Ed Larson]

Oh, Schumer.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Oh man, Schumer needs to be put away.

[Ed Larson]

I think public spanking would be great.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I love to see him kill him.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, you think so?

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah, kill him.

[Ed Larson]

Take his. Take his pants down.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Just no even public act of you of someone taking his pants down. My.

[Ed Larson]

Kill him. You think so? Oh, it be. Get a little chilly.

[Henry Zabrowski]

He gets so excited too. When's the last time someone's voluntarily taken his pants down? That wasn't like in assured that for of that they were. Their lives were going to be destroyed.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. They. The last person who gave him a blowjob had to adjust their readers cuz they're.

[Henry Zabrowski]

They just sit right at the very end of his penis like that. That far part just dangles. It's that new zoomer thing. All right, we've got some other stories. Eddie, what do we got?

[Ed Larson]

All right, well, the first one, you know, I love my animal stories. This one's great. It comes out of Malaysia. A wild elephant broke a man's leg in an attack and then later that night returned and killed him.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Now this is like. I feel like this is the second time I'm hearing something like this.

[Ed Larson]

Well, the other one was that case that was in India. This was years ago. This like three or four years ago now where I the. The details are fuzzy to me and this other case, but like basically this woman did something horrible to this elephant. The elephant killed her and then later came back and destroyed her funeral.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yes, I remember that. And that was awesome.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, that was a great story.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It was metal, this one.

[Ed Larson]

It was a lager. I don't think he was actually doing anything wrong unless. Except for cutting down trees.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Well, it's the problem is the elephant more of an IPA elephant. Oh, stole that from you?

[Ed Larson]

Yes, yes. Because I dressed Julie up like a logger.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

Yes. But the. So A Malaysian man, his name was Sadi Johari, 43 years old, was working in a logging site in northern part of the country when this incident occurred. The elephant attacked him while he was working, and it broke both of his legs after it stomped on him a bunch.

[Henry Zabrowski]

What the fuck? Was he coming onto his, like, territory or something?

[Ed Larson]

I mostly. I mean, everywhere is an elephant's territory. If you're in the woods.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Not my house.

[Ed Larson]

Well, yeah, but if you're in the.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Woods, elephant tried to roll into my property. I would have no compunction with shooting it in the head.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Trying to come into my property.

[Ed Larson]

I'm pretty sure it would kill you. Yeah, it would kill you immediately. But they might get scared of the dogs. Elephants are actually scared of dogs.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I know.

[Ed Larson]

Way.

[Henry Zabrowski]

You know, remember that video we showed? Was that the vid? I show you that video on the stream with the dog. With the elephant kicking the badger.

[Ed Larson]

Oh, yes. Badger.

[Henry Zabrowski]

The.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

And it just keeps. Just, like, putting the badger.

[Ed Larson]

Badgers are tough, though. They don't give a. About nothing. But. So they. So they. They broke the dude's legs and they brought him inside and they pushed. It was just a tank tent, you know, it wasn't any. It wasn't like an actual structure.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah, sure.

[Ed Larson]

And they brought him inside for temporary protection. But not long after, a bull elephant believed to be the herd leader returned, attacked him again, ended up taking his life. The second attack.

[Henry Zabrowski]

You need a pass if you're coming up in my crib.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, dude.

[Henry Zabrowski]

That is man.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, man. Elephants never forget.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Never forget.

[Ed Larson]

They never forget you. Up. You took his trees. He's coming back. He gonna kill your ass.

[Henry Zabrowski]

That's my trees.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Elephants use trees as money.

[Ed Larson]

That's right. All right.

[Henry Zabrowski]

That's my money. You're with my money. That's where my. That's where my leaves are.

[Ed Larson]

Well, maybe they feel like they're part tree because they both have trunks.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Cute and deeply incorrect. They're not. They're not trees at all. But it's like, I feel like it sees it go. And it's just like, man, that guy's, like, been hanging out with Mowgli all day. Mowgli's saying stuff like, this is Mowgli's hood. Oh, very much so. And I can see Mowgli saying to this elephant, like. Like, that's the guy that over there. That's a guy over there. He tried to, like, make me his little, like, wife or whatever, you know what I mean? He saw me try to paint me with one of the Colors of the wind or whatever. And then that elephant's like, let me handle this. Yeah, you're right, Mowgli. I'm sick as watching these goddamn feeling. Oh, these guys are trying to gentrify my neighborhood.

[Ed Larson]

Colors of the window is, of course, Pocahontas.

[Henry Zabrowski]

They're all the same.

[Ed Larson]

There's no elephants in Pocahontas.

[Henry Zabrowski]

But everybody's got colors of the wind accents.

[Ed Larson]

Yes.

[Henry Zabrowski]

If you have a loincloth on, you can access the colors of the wind. That's how it works. That's Disney math. And so he's. I wonder if it's that.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. But otherwise, they came back. They killed him. There isn't much to the story other than it's just pretty cool.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

In a way, I'm sorry that I find it to be cool.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Well, elephants attacking you, it's like an elephant singing, singling you out to murder you is just straight up like. Like, how do you. We're all like, what you do wrong?

[Ed Larson]

When I was. When I. When I. I went on my trip to Africa and I did a couple little safaris that I'd. Each time I had a different, like, safari leader in the jeep. And then one guy, one of the safari leaders was just terrified of elephants. It was just like, anytime he saw an elephant, he'd, like, turn the jeep around and, like, go in the other direction.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I do think that they are very.

[Ed Larson]

Just like anything else, lions. He didn't care, whatever. But if he saw an elephant, he's like, oh, nope, not going that way. He was terrified of them.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I wonder if it's just because of the way he dates. They. They travel their territory.

[Ed Larson]

They're such an unstoppable force.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

As soon as you're so big, they're so strong, and they're so intelligent. Like, so they're really hard to beat.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Do you think you could probably, like, punch a lion in the head?

[Ed Larson]

No, but that's why they have the kitty Clumpers.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yes. Yeah, but, like, it's not like a shark because they say, like, truly with sharks, like, you could probably punch a shark away you.

[Ed Larson]

If you get lucky, they say, hit it in the nose.

[Henry Zabrowski]

That's what they say.

[Ed Larson]

Hit it. No, but good luck. Miss. If you miss, your. Your arm's going right in the mouth.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I'm going for the day.

[Ed Larson]

Dick. I don't think. I don't think you're gonna reach it.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Pull right up in there.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, I always put my hand right up there.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Smile.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, but elephants, they'll come after your ass.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I Just Wonder inside stories lpotl gmail.com what makes elephants so angry.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. And if you got any crazy elephant stories, I'd really like to hear them, please. Yeah. Because elephants, they're. They're really awesome.

[Henry Zabrowski]

All right, here we go. Here's another horrible story.

[Ed Larson]

Oh, we like that.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Likes this story. Woman chained up in a backyard was beaten and tortured by her friends because they, quote, didn't like her anymore. Oh, now that is. It's truly kind of you more of.

[Ed Larson]

A reason than that.

[Henry Zabrowski]

It's. It's very, very inappropriate. This takes place in, I'm going to say a horrible place right outside of Austin, Texas.

[Ed Larson]

I'm correct.

[Henry Zabrowski]

A woman was chained and tortured in the backyard for months. Now these guys, they. I guess that two dudes, three women. It is very similar to the story. Do you remember we covered the story about.

[Ed Larson]

They all blend together, to be honest with you.

[Henry Zabrowski]

This is another one that is. I'm trying to gently package this.

[Ed Larson]

Okay, cool. Sounds like it's offensive.

[Henry Zabrowski]

No, definitely group of mentally handicapped. Group follicle. It was a mentally handicapped polycule where they kicked out the last of the mentally handicapped ones. You remember the story. You remember Rob the husband and the son. She was like in a relationship with the guy and also that guy's son. And they found the guy outside of the 711 and they were like talking with him. Said that kind of reminds me of this story.

[Ed Larson]

This is.

[Henry Zabrowski]

This. This is them right here.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Ohio polygamists. Yeah. These guys. These. This. This is like literally the worst.

[Ed Larson]

I remember this crew.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah. Martina Jones, Aaron Bradshaw. They all look like they were.

[Ed Larson]

They loved that big woman.

[Henry Zabrowski]

God, they did. They all took turns getting a piece of Martina Jones. It sounds like this was. Is kind of similar. These are five. Me and.

[Ed Larson]

And Mrs. Mrs. Jones.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. God, please get me on that list. These are the guys that were arrested. Michelle Garcia, Crystal Garcia. That was Michelle's daughter, Mosh Carney. That was also Michelle's daughter, Juan Pablo Castro. That was the young daughter's husband.

[Ed Larson]

Mosh Carney was. Is the name of the a of a person.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I think it's mash. M A C H E. There's mache. It could be mache. I know that Cachet is one cash. The guy I know, the really awesome guy that makes shoes that I love. He his called mash and it's spelled the same way. But I believe it's called. I believe it might be mache, like paper mache. Because I don't think any of these people have the Reading ability to name something, something, something good. I think that we got Maynard Levers.

[Ed Larson]

Le fevers.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah, Maynard. And they were arrested. I guess they, they had all lived together. They would live together for years. Carney told investigators. Now, this was the one of the daughters, they live with a family and they said that they admitted they'd kept her outside in the yard and restrained her from leaving at first. Michelle Garcia reportedly like somebody, if you.

[Ed Larson]

Don'T like them, why are you keeping them around?

[Henry Zabrowski]

Michelle Garcia reportedly said she began handcuffing the woman months earlier because the woman would relieve herself in the yard. And Garc did not want her neighbors seeing that. But my thing is, Michelle, if you're going to handcuff her outside, she's going to continue to use the bathroom outside, handcuff her inside. This little thing, you got to tell it's a, it's a little note there.

[Ed Larson]

Piss it in the backyard. Ain't enough.

[Henry Zabrowski]

It really is not enough.

[Ed Larson]

It's not enough.

[Henry Zabrowski]

The publication reported that Carney further told police they began handcuffing the woman to prevent her from stealing, claiming the neighbors had complained. She also claimed that the woman had agreed to be being restrained, which is definitely not true. Crystal Garcia, another one of the daughters, told law and enforcement that the victim was only maybe 50, 50 capable of consent. And multiple suspects claim the woman suffered from mental health issues.

[Ed Larson]

Yes, yes, I believe that. Yes, absolutely.

[Henry Zabrowski]

First thing I believe they were keep shooting. They got, they said they, you know, they limited her food because she had gotten chunky. And then they started shooting her with an electric BB gun because they didn't want to beat her with their hands. And then they asked her, finally in the end, they asked the group, why would you do this? And all of them said, said it's cuz we hate her.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, it's not enough. You know, I hate lots of people.

[Henry Zabrowski]

It's very much, it's a, it's childlike in its, in its naivete of the situation.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Which probably begs, which kind of shows a little bit more of the mentality of the people involved.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I feel like everyone know. I don't think, I think that if you were to take all their IQ points together, you could maybe break three digits. Like I think that if we put the whole kitten caboodle together as one, one crew. Right. I, I, I think that this is.

[Ed Larson]

They had her for months.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

Tied up in the backyard.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yes.

[Ed Larson]

This reminds me, and I will say maybe she was unlikable. Doesn't mean she deserved it.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Let her go.

[Ed Larson]

Well, I think that if no one's looking for it for months, how do they even know that she's missing?

[Henry Zabrowski]

I don't know. I honestly don't know. It's all going to come out obvious. This is the very beginning of this story. It's a horrible story. But it did remind me of an even more sad story of the story of if anybody'd heard about this Shanquella Robinson, who was beaten to death. It seemed like she was beaten to death in Cabo San Lucas by her five friends. They'd went on vacation with people she sort of knew. And they. Mexican authorities got a call saying that they. Their friend died of like, basically passed out due to alcohol consumption. Yeah. They got there the kind of vaguely kind of corrupt hotel doctors said, like, oh, well, look at her. They know. They didn't say anything about the fact that she had a gigantic contusion on her face. She obviously her neck was broken because then when the coroner took a look at her, they found out that she died from extensive wounds to the head and a broken neck. And we know that there was also a released leaked cell phone video of her friends all beating her while she's naked on a balcony. Like, it's really up. It's a horrific story. But it's just another thing being like we're going all the way to Cabo to do this.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. Well, we probably thought they were going to get away with it there. And they. They almost did.

[Henry Zabrowski]

They. I mean, basically, so far, they have really. Oh, yeah. They have not. There's been no. They. The Mexican authorities are still trying to extradite one of the suspects, but there's not the. According to US Court, there's not enough evidence. And if you know anything more about the story, it's fascinating and horrific. Side stories. LPOTL gmail.com there's so many ways to die on vacation.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. So that's right.

[Henry Zabrowski]

And wave at C 2.0. We'll find out.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. The people are. People die.

[Henry Zabrowski]

But it's kind of. But I know they're not the same, but the idea of like a group of friends turning on one of the group of friends in a weird. Because they're adults.

[Ed Larson]

It seems planned.

[Henry Zabrowski]

It does.

[Ed Larson]

It seems planned.

[Henry Zabrowski]

It does.

[Ed Larson]

For it to escalate like that so fast, it's really proof beating.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah, but she didn't. In the. In the. In that story. Especially when it's a woman in the. In the.

[Ed Larson]

Robinson, you don't need to defend yourself like that.

[Henry Zabrowski]

No. But in the Robinson story. They are way more like, more like casual acquaintances or like this is something else. This horrif. This story about tying up the girl to the post with the BB guns and be she lived. Thankfully in this story she lived. But it's still just for months. Months.

[Ed Larson]

That's wild.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I mean to me then you're also like, like cuz she's above 18. So once you're above 18 you can go missing for a long time.

[Ed Larson]

Okay, I'll remember that when I turn 18.

[Henry Zabrowski]

God, you're an ugly 15 year old, my man.

[Ed Larson]

Well, check this out. Vegas, we, we, we cover a lot of piles of stuff.

[Henry Zabrowski]

We really do.

[Ed Larson]

We, we, we're a big pile. You know there's a bunch of lobsters in the woods we're going to talk.

[Henry Zabrowski]

About and they say there's not things.

[Ed Larson]

You'Re going soup in the road we're going to talk about it. But here, Here they found 300 plus piles of human remains in the desert outside of Las Vegas. They think a funeral home might have ditched a bunch of just ashes. You know, I guess, I guess these are just ashes that no one picked up. Or maybe there's just stuff they, they gave in a different way. We don't know what funeral home they came from.

[Henry Zabrowski]

None.

[Ed Larson]

There's very little information about it. But they found more than 100 piles of cremated remains. This is back in August and they say it belongs to over 300 people. And there's no way to really tell what's going on here? Unfortunately, no. But I have heard in the past, I've heard things like I know this is going to sound stupid because I'm talking about a veterinarian but I know a lot of times people just don't pick up the ashes.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I think that there, I know, I don't think it sounds that stupid. I think that it's the same. I think that unfortunately there are people that I might be wrong about this side stories lpotlmail.com But I'm pretty certain that they sort of of default cremate certain people too. Right? Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

People who got no one looking for them. John. Do stuff like that?

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yes.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, I imagine, I imagine that's what they do. I don't know for sure.

[Henry Zabrowski]

But you're saying that the vets like.

[Ed Larson]

The vets like they're just sitting on all these ashes. They don't know what to do. No one's coming to pick them up. You can't just throw them in the trash. So they just end up like getting like storage Closets full of pet ashes.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Well, that's just only because, you know, vets that are actually very nice and they do care and they won't just throw them in the trash. I think a lot of times times they do end up just throwing them in the trash.

[Ed Larson]

I'm sure they do. I'm sure they do.

[Henry Zabrowski]

So these guys went and dumped all of these pounds of cremains out of out in Vegas. And you can check out two more piles of cremaines at the Vegas Wise guys. We have a what days? Our show.

[Ed Larson]

December 7th.

[Henry Zabrowski]

December 7th.

[Ed Larson]

We're gonna be a wise guys. Yeah, yeah. Henry and I are doing side stories December 7th in Vegas. It's gonna be of fun, though. We're gonna be the first Vegas show together.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Oh, and I cannot wait. We are going to be bringing buckets of cremaines. And I can't wait to go up against the likes. Wow. What dignitaries are there. Little Moma Zarella is going to be performing there. Wow. Eddie. Oh, Joe devido from Gutfeld is going to be there.

[Ed Larson]

Oh, yes.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Oh, wow, Eddie. What illustrious company.

[Ed Larson]

We're with the. We're with all the greats.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Oh, I can't wait to see the lights of Las Vegas. Vegas.

[Ed Larson]

Yes.

[Henry Zabrowski]

So come and check us out.

[Ed Larson]

They really put us in the good places.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Seriously. I will. If you bring a. If you bring a. One of those FedEx envelopes filled with Cres from and. And we can sign it over to little Mozzarella. I'll put you on the list. Melissa's there the night before. You guys seems very sweet. She seems like a sweet lady.

[Ed Larson]

Oh, yeah. She's a wonderful human being.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Of our competition. No.

[Ed Larson]

There is no Nevada barring a person from scattering ashes on public land. State law requires that the funeral operators to preserve the dignity of any remains that remain care.

[Henry Zabrowski]

So basically, yeah. But I think you're saying scattering ashes is different than dumping piles of ashes.

[Ed Larson]

It's weird. If they would have scattered it, I bet there wouldn't even got caught. But the fact that they're all in weird little piles just proves that they were dumping out urns in the middle of the desert and thought they were never going to get caught because the ashes look like sand.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Do you think they did this? Do you think salaried workers do this? Or do you think this is a TaskRabbit?

[Ed Larson]

I'm just saying if you're going do this. If you are a funeral home or a crematory that's getting. Bring a rake.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Bring it.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, bring a rake. You can make solves this whole thing. No one ever gets caught.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Just smash it around. Why is this a problem?

[Ed Larson]

Well, you can't. You gotta. You gotta properly dispose of remains just out of, like, respect for. For bodies. And now they are not even bringing all these together to preserve the dignity, they say.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I don't give a fuck about the dignity. It's human waste. It's remain. It's body waste. Like deep in the desert, far away from people. You don't got it. I understand, understand. I understand. But I do feel like it's still bad to be around. I guess what it is, is the guys going to do it, and they're. They're all just done. Because you know how it is being like, all right, let's go. You know, they got to go out and go dump a bunch of urns. And then they come back and then they. What are they? Just the rest of their day spent pointing people out to ice and. And stealing ice cream from children. And, like, I'm trying to think, like, what else those guys do.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, well, now they're all going. They're taking the. The remains of the 315 people. People, and they're just putting them into one crypt.

[Henry Zabrowski]

How is that better?

[Ed Larson]

I don't know if it's. I don't think it's better. At least here they're out in the world. Breathe. At least a coyote come by. Maybe, you know, you spread it around a little bit.

[Henry Zabrowski]

If this is Vegas, you know what should have happened here? What. What I really. If they really want to do is the Venetians should have taken upon themselves. Rope off that little pile of. Of remains. And guess what? They get front row ticket.

[Ed Larson]

Show.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Show comes to them.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Reba. Wayne Newton. Oh, Frankie Valley. Hey, you know, I hate Frankie Valley's not even singing anymore. You just got to put it on the Bluetooth. Remains himself you just put on the Bluetooth. Give them a taste of a show. Give them a taste of Vegas. They're dumped out here in the desert. You got Frankie Alvalor going.

[Ed Larson]

I don't think they really even know what happened here, though.

[Henry Zabrowski]

No, they don't. No, they just dumped in the woods in the desert.

[Ed Larson]

Oh, wow.

[Henry Zabrowski]

The. Are you in you on in on that? Like I am.

[Ed Larson]

What? Frankie Valley.

[Henry Zabrowski]

The Frankie Valli.

[Ed Larson]

I love Frankie Valley. In the Four Seasons.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I'm talking about.

[Ed Larson]

My mom went on a date with one of them.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Which one? Winter.

[Ed Larson]

Spring.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Oh, we've been together too long. Too long. No, you've not been watching the Frankie Valli. This thing now where he acts like an animal animatronic.

[Ed Larson]

Oh, well, it's all he can do.

[Henry Zabrowski]

It is so.

[Ed Larson]

He was old 30 years ago when he was on Sopranos.

[Henry Zabrowski]

It's so disconcerting what they're doing to this man.

[Ed Larson]

I mean.

[Henry Zabrowski]

He'S making no decisions.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, you're right.

[Henry Zabrowski]

It's the dead stare into nothingness. He somehow still knows he's on stage.

[Ed Larson]

But it's a high pitched voice. You can't really. It's a pumped in. Oh, is it real? Is that what's happening?

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah, no, he's just lip syncing. He just stands on stage and he moves his mouth. Yeah, he gets piped in. He can't sing that anymore.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Well, look at that dance move. Oh, wow. Who's that? Whoa, wait a second. Whoa. He should get on Dancing with the Stars. Him and Biden.

[Ed Larson]

You know who should have. I hate to keep calling him out on our show, but this would be great for Baggin's place out in Vegas.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Frankie Valley. No, all the remains.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, he does look like a little puppet.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I'll kill you. Kill your husband. F I kill your husband.

[Ed Larson]

Beautiful woman.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Get him awake. Get him out of here. Yeah, honestly, those remains just sitting in the lobby would be kind of fun.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, why not?

[Henry Zabrowski]

Seriously, why is it a showgirl? Someone like. This is such a Vegas is lo. This. This is why Vegas is falling apart.

[Ed Larson]

Vegas is almost done.

[Henry Zabrowski]

They're losing their edge.

[Ed Larson]

We're trying to bring them back.

[Henry Zabrowski]

If this was real, a real entertainer would have scooped all those remains and dumped them in the tits of a anal. Cole Smith look alike in a goddamn second ten years ago. Yeah, this should be.

[Ed Larson]

Well, she died in for a lot of deal.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I just mean, you know what I'm saying? A lookalike.

[Ed Larson]

It was a casino.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I'm just saying, Eddie, that like a real Vegas guy would know that this is an opportunity.

[Ed Larson]

Absolutely.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Because think about this. Not only we. We entertain you while you're alive. Sure. Now we're going to entertain you when you're fucking dead. No, like that's amazing. You know, put some googly eyes. Eyes poured on a bucket. Put some googly eyes, got googly eyes on it and showed Hailey Bieber's.

[Ed Larson]

Do you think they. Do you think she's like, well, my pussy needs entertainment?

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah. I mean, hey, give her money. Right.

[Ed Larson]

You know what's weird? It must have just happened. It must have. Because. Yes, because it's windy out in that desert. So it would have blown away. So this must be like. They must have like, caught it by a day or two when the. Got dumped, which is crazy.

[Henry Zabrowski]

It's very. Honestly, it's very. It's. But what we have covered a lot over the years of side stories is just how much corruption is within the funeral industry. How much. It's just the same as any other horrific industry that just because they're dealing with the beloved memories of your family members and doesn't mean they're not run by, like, Tony from down the street in my. Basically, he could have a show.

[Ed Larson]

Poonies. I bet Vegas is a town where unidentified people die on a regular basis.

[Henry Zabrowski]

That's where I'd want to be if I was a. Didn't want to be found.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, I just, you know, people show up, they're hammered, they lose their wallet. Next thing you know, they're dead and they can't figure out who they are. And then no one ever finds out, you know, again.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Only if you're lucky.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

So.

[Ed Larson]

But yeah, there's a whole bunch of people.

[Henry Zabrowski]

The essential. Pina colada made with frozen pineapple chunks, fresh lime juice, white rum, coconut milk, and a drizzle of honey, chilled in a sleek tulip glass as you enjoy.

[Ed Larson]

A taste of the tropics from your favorite lounge chair. The essential staycation made possible by Vitamix only. The essential.

[Henry Zabrowski]

So here we go. This is a low level. This is low level domestic terrorism I'm about to talk about, which is also kind of funny in a way where it's like we've covered on the show many people in this stead, Right. We've just. We remember the Panther Man. Yes, it was the Panther Man. And then there was the Gimp of Somerset, and then there was the Silent Man.

[Ed Larson]

The Silent Man's our favorite one.

[Henry Zabrowski]

We love the Silent Man. This guy is a new one. It's the Peter Butter Man. But now it seems that that's a little bit of a misnomer. Purdue University's Peanut Butter man remained a sticky mystery, much like Bigfoot in the northwestern United States until Thursday. Thursday afternoon, they caught this poor, poor, brave young lad. He covered himself in peanut butter.

[Ed Larson]

Sunflower.

[Henry Zabrowski]

But no, no, that's the twist that he.

[Ed Larson]

Sorry.

[Henry Zabrowski]

God damn it.

[Ed Larson]

Oh, yeah. Bleep it. Bleep it.

[Henry Zabrowski]

So this is what happened. He came, came in, right? They saw a man covered in what they thought was peanut butter.

[Ed Larson]

Okay.

[Henry Zabrowski]

And it caused a panic. We don't know yet. Not yet. We got. He thought it was PE butter.

[Ed Larson]

And it.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Because then everybody in panic. He was walking through Purdue University. His buddy Was filming him. It looked like, I guess he had his penis out, right? Or no, no, no.

[Ed Larson]

He had shorts on. His shorts on.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yes. And so. But they had, I guess, shut down the university because of the peanut issue.

[Ed Larson]

Because they were worried about, like, people.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Being allergic to peanuts.

[Ed Larson]

Ah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

But then it turns out, of course, while they went searching for him, you know, that he could have gotten, like, something like. Like a attack with a deadly weapon or something. Like, they were talking about this. They were trying to throw all of these things out, saying that he was, like, committing domestic terrorism.

[Ed Larson]

Was he doing it to scare people with allergies or was he just likes covering himself in peanut butter?

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah, he's just. Maybe Halloween. He's just a college kid.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

It's the funnest thing that kids can do. It's just fun to do. It's better than shooting up a movie mall, right? I think it's fine.

[Ed Larson]

It's definitely better than shooting up a mall.

[Henry Zabrowski]

But then it turns out the twist is what was, in fact sunflower seed butter, which meant it was not. Didn't have any problems with allergies.

[Ed Larson]

So what's the story here?

[Henry Zabrowski]

He said the man did not commit a crime. The police are not investigating him, and the university will deal with the sunflower butter man on their own. Yeah, they have decided they are not releasing his name.

[Ed Larson]

No, I mean, he didn't commit a crime.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Well, according to the university, he seemed to commit. Permit some form of infraction, which I wish. I don't know what the social crime is is this is what college is for.

[Ed Larson]

Know what it is, though? I think if you sat down on a chair, you know, or if he like.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah, some ancient chair that belonged to Benjamin Franklin.

[Ed Larson]

No, even a normal chair. Someone's got to clean that up. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

15, $20.

[Ed Larson]

$20. The number. You said 50, then you said 15. 19. 20.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Is it 15?

[Ed Larson]

15. And then you up to. To 20. Yeah, I mean, that's. That's. If he does it in under an.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Hour, you're just cleaning the.

[Ed Larson]

The seat. So you're okay with this?

[Henry Zabrowski]

He's not covered in liquid.

[Ed Larson]

I gotta say, though, I love sunbutter.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I know.

[Ed Larson]

And it seems like it seems like an expensive thing to do.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Oh, no, he's exercising his privilege.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, that's what he shows. Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Oh, no, definitely. Oh. Oh, believe me, I clocked that, Mr. You think me.

[Ed Larson]

Oh, you get to frat thing.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I think that it was. I think that he didn't even say it was a frat thing. I think it was just a dumb boy thing.

[Ed Larson]

Okay.

[Henry Zabrowski]

He was having fun. I think this is extremely allowed. More than allowed. I think it's encouraged.

[Ed Larson]

I think it is allowed. I think I'm gonna have to say this is also allowed.

[Henry Zabrowski]

This is.

[Ed Larson]

I don't like waste of food.

[Henry Zabrowski]

That's the biggest crime here.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, I think that's the. That's. And the fact that no one's buying sunflower butter anyway.

[Henry Zabrowski]

It's because I don't like it as much.

[Ed Larson]

Man. Best ice cream I ever had was sunflower butter and jelly. You've changed. Oh, my God. That was a. That was unbelievable.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Where?

[Ed Larson]

Lambertville.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Where's Lambertville?

[Ed Larson]

New Jersey. Why? Because my cousin lives there. And I was there and she was like, oh, we got this cute little ice cream shop. And I was like.

[Henry Zabrowski]

But it wasn't like vegan. It was. It was a good.

[Ed Larson]

No, it wasn't vegan. It was real ice cream and it was the best one. I tried all of them because they have very fancy. Yeah. You're getting hungry, actually. I can see you licking your lips. Yeah. Hey, now you want the sunflower butter and. Yeah, yeah. Jelly. Yeah. It was the best ice cream I ever had.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Wow.

[Ed Larson]

So, yeah, sunflower butter and jelly. If you know of a place where I can get that ice cream, you let me know. Side stories lpotl gmail.com this is the real. The real right here. I need to find out. I want some more. That's all this story reminds me of is that really good ice cream in Lambertville.

[Henry Zabrowski]

All right, real quick. News uk. Woman yawned so hard she broke her neck. And it's because that's how boring it is to live there.

[Ed Larson]

Hey, come on.

[Henry Zabrowski]

And then now we've got. What's another good one. Splash is Florida's sheriff's department's first search and rescue otter. That's how much you know that they don't care if you live or die. If they send an otter instead of.

[Ed Larson]

A person, send in the otter.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Send me a person.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. Send people.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah. I don't want the otter. What's it going to do? Show up and start. It says it's. It worked like something like two out of five times.

[Ed Larson]

That's not that bad.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah, it's not enough he solves underwater mysteries five out of five times. Then send the otter. If it's two out of five times, don't send the otter. He's just going to end up chewing on me.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. You said the person or you send the you said one or the otter.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Send a robot versus an otter. Why are we training otters? Train. This is. What's the point of all the robots.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, well, the robots can't swim like that.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Submarines.

[Ed Larson]

I guess you can get that little diver guy that they sell who kicks in the front of the KB toys.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I miss more money. Do our.

[Ed Larson]

Our.

[Henry Zabrowski]

We each state police department. It's like a. Their own private army. They're training otters with kelp and mackerel and not making robots.

[Ed Larson]

I wish they would train a manatee to do it. Then you could. You could really ride the back of a manatee. Oh, man. When I was. I went and swam at some pigs. It was. It was a blast. And I rode one of the pigs to. Back to the shore and it was fun. Train the pigs. Train the pigs to go look for people.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Honestly, I would rather a pig. Yeah, I'd rather a pig than an otter.

[Ed Larson]

Oh, yeah. I trust the pig.

[Henry Zabrowski]

It's weird. It's like sending like. It's such an undependable animal. It's like the idea of like, oh, we've trained the foxes to find people. Like, no, don't. Don't train foxes to find people.

[Ed Larson]

I mean, there's this one guy who loves otters. He works with the police and he's like, listen, he's finally got his day in the sun. He got one special otter who solved two out of five.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Maybe does stuff.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, two out of five, you know, for an otter is pretty good numbers.

[Henry Zabrowski]

It shouldn't be a police officer.

[Ed Larson]

It's not a cop.

[Henry Zabrowski]

No, it's not a cop. Because you know why it doesn't have. It's not a bastard.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

You know, I mean, certain breeds of dogs, you can make them become what they need to be to be police officer. An otter is too naturally mischievous to be a police officer.

[Ed Larson]

I'd rather it be a beaver.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I would rather it be. Again, keep the animals out of it.

[Ed Larson]

No, dolphins are great at this job.

[Henry Zabrowski]

No, let them just not have jobs.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I truly. We don't need to hire the otters. We need to hire. I'd rather you hire a kid.

[Ed Larson]

Look at that. There's an otter slam dunk in a basketball.

[Henry Zabrowski]

That's not saving me out of 911 2. It's just. It's just dunking a basketball. That doesn't do anything. I'd. Seriously, I'd rather you would use kids.

[Ed Larson]

That's utterly amazing.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I miss. And it wasn't that utterly amazing. Technically, kind of utterly Boring to watch you mess it up. All right, so we have to figure that out because. So that's what I'm saying. Is that wrong?

[Ed Larson]

You don't think kids. You don't think he's a regular Amari Stum otter, huh? How about that one? I don't know about that one.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Honestly don't know. We didn't even get to Antonio Brown. We didn't talk about that. We didn't talk about Mark Sanchez. A lot of football violence going on there.

[Ed Larson]

It's going to happen. Yeah, a lot going on. Very popular.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Do you not feel like though it's same.

[Ed Larson]

All right.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Instead of having an otter train a child, pay the parents train a child.

[Ed Larson]

Well, you can't. You can work an otter to death more than you can work a child to death.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah, I guess.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. Children, you know, I mean, look what happened to the stranger things. Kids. They're all damaged.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

They shouldn't have been. They shouldn't have been working so hard all those years.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah, they grew up and they got weird looking.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, you can't. You can't. I mean like. Oh, God. Talk about. Someone needs to save them from David Harbor.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Oh my God. David.

[Ed Larson]

David harder. David otter.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Well, David Harbor's not dumb. He doesn't do bad with the kids. He's just an irresponsible husband.

[Ed Larson]

Well, no, he's an to Millie Bobby Brown.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah, everybody's an.

[Ed Larson]

You're right. I heard.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Millie Bob. Millie Bobby Brown. God knows what goes on down there, man.

[Ed Larson]

I think she's all right.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I heard some stories, man.

[Ed Larson]

I bet you have, man.

[Henry Zabrowski]

She killed. She killed somebody.

[Ed Larson]

She killed people.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah. Millie Bobby Bobby Browns, man. You know.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, yeah. Someone. No one coached her on that name.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Y.

[Ed Larson]

No one told her. No one told her. Hey, there's this guy.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah, she actually, weirdly, right before she died, Millie Bobby Brown went and found Whitney Houston's daughter and beat the out.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Just to the sake out of it.

[Ed Larson]

I mean, actually, Whitney Houston's daughter died the same way Whitney Houston did.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I know very.

[Ed Larson]

A long time.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Probably. I know you probably know. It's extremely sad.

[Ed Larson]

Know what? They could have used an honor.

[Henry Zabrowski]

See, then makes sense. This is a shallow bathtub. An honor.

[Ed Larson]

Really could have. Really could have saved both of them.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Very much so, yes. Out of a bathtub. Out of a hotel bathtub.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, we did.

[Henry Zabrowski]

An honor. Can save you.

[Ed Larson]

So we need to give the honors to the hotels.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Actually, I'm first time I'm agreeing with you today. Release them to the hotels. Yeah. Let them Slop around. You can keep them in a wet trench.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

In the kitchen.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. How long can you really relax in a bathtub if there's an otter in there?

[Henry Zabrowski]

Oh, yeah. Oh, I gotta get out of here and keep that new Le Meridian otter bathroom timer.

[Ed Larson]

Man, this guy, I'm like obsessed with this and this guy. I know it's going to come out tomorrow, but this influencer passed away in a horrible accident or a horrible incident. And I hate to be so morbid that I really need to know what happened.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Guys, this is our. This is a true deal with microcosm of what we deal with here is that we know we are not hoping that this influen. His name is. What was his name?

[Ed Larson]

His name is Michael Durate.

[Henry Zabrowski]

And he went by.

[Ed Larson]

He went by food with bare hands. That was his. That was his name. But every picture I see of him with food, he's got gloves on.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah. Which is misnomer. And I already don't trust him, but I. Apparently he was a lovely man. There's a ghost. Cool.

[Ed Larson]

He seems very cool.

[Henry Zabrowski]

But every. But this is the problem is that Eddie got right before the show, he got so for clemped because legitimately he was like, I know that this is going to have a really grizzly end and I. I'm hoping that it'll be good for the show. And I said, Eddie, I. I think I might. It might just be really sad.

[Ed Larson]

Oh, it's definitely really sad. But I'm saying, no question about it being really sad or not.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Death might be very sad.

[Ed Larson]

I don't know.

[Henry Zabrowski]

It's.

[Ed Larson]

Death is sad no matter what happened. But I know it's like as soon as we're done recording, there's going to be like, oh, you got to death by bears.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah, we got eaten by a llama.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Then it's not as sad anymore, unfortunately.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. You got a shootout with a bunch of aliens.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah, like that. Again, it's not that your death's no longer sad, it's just then also your death is. Enter the thing.

[Ed Larson]

The reason I got so obsessed with it is because I've read like 10 articles about it. And then some of them called it an accident and some of them called it an incident. And that's the part of it that. That kind of flipped me out and made me think of it might be something crazy.

[Henry Zabrowski]

It's also maybe it's because people don't understand how to use the sources.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But you know, if it was a car accident, it's an accident.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Agree.

[Ed Larson]

There's no car incident.

[Henry Zabrowski]

No, a car incident is like, I took my car and I drove it through the mall.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

That's a car. As a car incident.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Like, the car is dangling off a bridge. Yeah, Yeah, I would say that. Yeah. No, I, I. It is very specious. We don't know yet. There is a GoFundMe up there to support his family, help him out in this. And you could check that out. What is his name is Food with Bare Hands. Food with Bare Hands.

[Ed Larson]

Go check that out.

[Henry Zabrowski]

But, yeah, we don't know. And I'm really hoping that this is one of those funny things where you also. What happens inside circle stories a lot where we will, like, sing the praises of somebody we don't know, you know, and be like, oh, this wonderful man. I can't believe he died in his accident. You know, we're gonna say, like, Because I try to make sure I shoot right down the middle. I don't consider anybody good or bad unless I know him.

[Ed Larson]

Yes.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Right.

[Ed Larson]

So this guy, even then were wrong sometimes.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Always. And I don't know this guy.

[Ed Larson]

Right.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I don't know this guy. So there's a. That's. I, I'm just hoping that by tomorrow it doesn't come out. And it turns out he. He's both. I'm hoping he's not a predator.

[Ed Larson]

Doesn't seem like.

[Henry Zabrowski]

But I also hope he's not the most heroic man in the world so.

[Ed Larson]

That I think he's a predator in, like, the classic sense of the word.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Eating animals.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, he's like. Yeah. He's like. He goes and he's like. He eats barracudas and stuff like that.

[Henry Zabrowski]

So this is our boilerplate statement to say, if he was a really awesome guy, great. We love him. I hope he's.

[Ed Larson]

He. Look, his kind eyes. No matter what his crimes are, his eyes are kind.

[Henry Zabrowski]

So did Ed Kemper. And he also. If he did really, really bad things, we disavow him.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. He's got an evil mouth.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yes. If there's another. So I just want to cover that entirely so in case. Whatever happens tomorrow in the news, if he's good, we like him. If he's bad, we hate him. But rest in peace. Rest in peace. Either way, no one else, I would just rest.

[Ed Larson]

I was like, I was trying to find, like, what happened, and I'm digging on all of them. Man, I gotta say, the comments on TMZ are brutal. Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

They really don't.

[Ed Larson]

They really are brutal. They're like, oh, they have a gofundme and they're not telling us to cause death. Oh, that was like that.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah, they often don't, guys. Yeah, they often don't. It's not like you get to pay to gofundme. Like, all right, I'll give you gofundme. Let me see the autopsy picture.

[Ed Larson]

But meanwhile, like, you know, I'm obsessed with it too, so. Am I just as bad?

[Henry Zabrowski]

No, because you're not begging for his autopsy pictures.

[Ed Larson]

No, I don't want to see the pictures. I just want to know what happened.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I just want to get a whack at his corpse once. Yeah, again, if he's a good guy, we're sorry and we love him. And if he's bad, we hate him. And I hope that he burns in hell. So let us go to. I think we got some listener stories.

[Ed Larson]

Oh.

[Henry Zabrowski]

That'S really good.

[Ed Larson]

That's cool.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Good one.

[Ed Larson]

That's really good.

[Henry Zabrowski]

All right, I got a couple of long ones. I'm just going to jump in.

[Ed Larson]

Golden State Killer. Penis length the size of a pinky tip. The DA says the new book, this.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Story is called Haunted Fred Out.

[Ed Larson]

It's a new TMZ story. I mean, it seems like it's our. It's our wheelhouse. I don't know. Gold State Killer was brought in by justice part of. Because of. Of his micro penis. Yeah. The new book says about it. Yeah. Says smaller than the tip of his pinky finger.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Thank God. All the news that's fit to print.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Here we go.

[Ed Larson]

That wasn't in the doc.

[Henry Zabrowski]

No. For some reason. Yeah. Wasn't in that whole thing about Patton Oswald's wife.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. It was a five part series. They didn't put the tiny pinky penis in there.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Our favorite part.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. All right. What are people writing you haunted frat house.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I belong to a co ed sorority frat that I'll just call a frat. It was isolated in the middle of nowhere in a very economically depressed area. So it wasn't the kind of fancy frat sorority you think of.

[Ed Larson]

Missouri.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yes. It was like a really bottom of the barrel, disgusting pile of a. Of a frat. Which is hilarious.

[Ed Larson]

Arkansas.

[Henry Zabrowski]

The house was built in the 1870s and started being a frat house around the 1980s. I think that it had. It had accumulated all the energy from the brutal hazing and all the essay that happened over the years. The ghost activity would always kick up when hazing season was happening. All my stories take place between 2012 and 2015. Like Eddie mentioned, we had the most common trope of things disappearing and reappearing in stream. Strange places, footsteps and doors opening when there was no one there. Once one of the girls blew out her vape and it briefly formed the outline of a person in front of us before dissipating.

[Ed Larson]

That's cool.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Once I was alone in my bedroom watching a movie on my laptop and I felt something tug hard on my earring. I yelled nope out loud and ripped them out and never wore earrings. There again.

[Ed Larson]

Just do the studs.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I mean, who knows then really pop out. Another time I had my debit card in the coat of my pocket and hung it up on the back of my door in my locked room at the end of the night. In the morning I went to get my coat and the entire coat was gone from the hook. I searched the entire house top to bottom and the coat was just gone. After two days of not being able to buy food, I finally went downtown and got another card. When I came back from that trip and locked my bedroom door, the coat with the now defunct debit card was hanging on the back of the door where I'd first left them.

[Ed Larson]

Sounds like a prank.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I mean, who knows but this one. The biggest and freakiest of all the encounters was when I saw a full apparition. It was just briefly, but I know what I saw. We had some girls pledging sleeping on the floor of the living room. We were about to wake them up to do a up hazing thing. I'm working on this in my therapy, but at this point they were all still asleep. The rest of the sorority was in the room behind behind me, quietly milling around getting things ready, trying not to wake the girls up. It was about 2am While I was standing in the doorway watching the girls, I noticed a figure out of the corner of my eye in the room where the girls were sleeping. There was a staircase leading upstairs. Lights were on upstairs but off downstairs creating this weird backlit effect. Vividly, I saw a small creature about the size of a child crouched down on one of the stairs and staring out at myself and the girls sleeping on the floor from between the vertical wood bars of the staircase.

[Ed Larson]

Could have been a hairless dog definitely.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I didn't realize what I was seeing and it was initially really conf. I was confused because I knew all the people in the house were either right behind me or sleeping in front of me. I looked behind me really quickly to check and when I look back, the figure was gone. All right, so this one I do have so let's pick one of two because I think we're running out a little run out of town.

[Ed Larson]

We're getting there.

[Henry Zabrowski]

All right. I do. Well, I think I can do the two right?

[Ed Larson]

Do whatever you want. It's your show.

[Henry Zabrowski]

It's our show.

[Ed Larson]

Oh, you're right. So do one.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Aliens coming out of the ocean. My best friend and her boyfriend were visiting Hilton Heads island in South Carolina on the first night there they were on the beach and saw what they described as a shooting star, but brighter go down from the sky into the ocean off the coast the of nearby. They didn't really think much of it, but in the context of what happened the next night, they ended up thinking this shooting star was possibly not actually a shooting star.

[Ed Larson]

Cloverfield, I hope.

[Henry Zabrowski]

On the second night they went to spend a bit of time on the beach directly behind their hotel, looking at the stars on a big blanket and went. The only light that was the moonlight and the starlight is. They were far enough from the hotel to avoid light pollution so you could see shadowy outlines of. Of everything but no detail. They were laying there for a while. Eventually things settled down with partygoers from the hotel behind them going to bed and it got a little bit more quiet and solitary on the beach. After a little while they were very surprised to see a shadowy visage of a single figure exiting the ocean in a straight direct line slowly and steadily in front of them down the beach. They remarked to each other that it was weird and dangerous to be swimming alone in the ocean at night. Up in Jersey we don't with the riptides, especially down the shore.

[Ed Larson]

Not just that, that's when sharks feed.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Especially not at night. Exactly. The figure stood there for a minute and then started to act strangely, moving jerkily around the beach, running fast to one side and walking really slow the other way.

[Ed Larson]

Oh, I thought jerky was like.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Basically moving around erratically. My friend's boyfriend told her to just stay down quiet and still so the person wouldn't come over and bother them again. In Jersey we're to tweakers, right? Then the figures started to make odd sounds. He would alternate between shrieking a high pitched unintelligible language. They said that it sound vaguely Asian but they couldn't identify or recognize it as as any known Asian language they knew of. And it had a very low deep tenor male voice speaking in English. They started to get weirded out, a little scared with this guy going back and forth erratically and changing his voice back and forth so dangerously close to Them hiding in the dark.

[Ed Larson]

Her boy dubbed.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I don't know. Yeah, it's weird. Her boyfriend even went so far as to whisper to her to hold one of the stakes that he was holding their blankets that was holding the blankets of the sand in her hand because the strange man was making them so uncomfortable at this point, they were a waste of steak. I know, you idiot. At this point, they were thinking he was definitely deranged or on drugs. Then the man abruptly stopped and went to stand at the shoreline by the water, much to the horror of my friend and her boyfriend. Other figures followed, started to file two by two out of the water to meet the man. Pilgrims, who knows the late. Better late than never. It's Cheech Marin. That's why I said it like that from Ghostbusters. Two figures would walk out of the water, meet the man silently where he was standing at the water's edge, and walk off in opposite directions down the shoreline without saying a word. One left, one right. Two more would walk out and do the same thing, thing, filing out of the dark ocean in the middle of the night in an orderly fashion. All in all, about eight figures in groups of two filed out from the ocean to meet the man and walked on the beach without a word. At one point, two teenagers with phones came walking down the water line. My friend and her boyfriend could see the lights of their phone screens glowing on their faces. They walked right past the quote unquote man and literally didn't even see to see him standing there. This freaked my friend out because he was acting noticeably strange and they walk within inches of him. Of him. At this point, with a little distraction, my friend and her boyfriend retreated backward toward the hotel a bit, and they decided to watch him from a safer, safer distance back on the sand. They watched him stand there for another hour and a half in the dark, and then suddenly he was gone.

[Ed Larson]

You know, I'm sure this happened in a way, but I just like, I hate to be this guy, but when you tell someone else's story, I lose all interest.

[Henry Zabrowski]

That's the problem. It's somebody else's story. I want to find. Find the people and send them to us. If this is indeed real, I want to talk to them because that is a very interesting story and I wonder whether or not it is. I mean, it just sounds really strange. Yeah, very strange.

[Ed Larson]

Seems like a good story to tell your friend and, and lie to him.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I mean, I love lying to my friends.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, I know this is some physical email.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I truly love lying to my friends. I live every day to live my friends. And I laugh every day I lie to my friends.

[Ed Larson]

What is this real weird big box you're handing us From Rob?

[Henry Zabrowski]

Rob is giving us mail.

[Ed Larson]

Oh, mail.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Okay, read the note first.

[Ed Larson]

Read the note, Henry. It must be good if he's making us do it.

[Henry Zabrowski]

All right, here we go. After hearing mention he's straining his back trying to suck his own dick. I did.

[Ed Larson]

Yes.

[Henry Zabrowski]

And then hearing Ed suggest he put a stroker in his mouth to help provide an extension, a light bulb went off of my head. Being a sales rep for Zero tolerance, I wanted to provide a few options for Henry to be able to try Ed's suggestion, I sent a few, including my number one favorite item we manufacture as a bonus. Zero tolerance. Sounds frightening. Oh, my God. Oh my. No, take the foot one. Take the foot one. Oh, God.

[Ed Larson]

Eddie, what is it? Zero tolerance. Is it a knife? No, cuz there's a knife company called zero tolerance.

[Henry Zabrowski]

No, it's a foot. You can. Oh, it's a. It's a foot based flesh.

[Ed Larson]

The bottom of the foot.

[Henry Zabrowski]

You can it through the hole. Whole of it. Oh, that's real. Yeah, it is. Eddie, that's for you footing around.

[Ed Larson]

There you go. That's for you. Oh, this is amazing. I want this one.

[Henry Zabrowski]

This is shaped like Danny Daniels. This is her vagina. And angel stroker. I guess they call them strokers instead of flashlights.

[Ed Larson]

Oh. Because they don't want to get sued.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Because that's the thing you kept saying fleshlight and that's why she kept saying stroker. Like I would know what the hell that meant.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, yeah. Stroker. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

So this is Lisa Ann's vagina and her anal and interanal.

[Ed Larson]

Oh, okay.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Your holes. I guess this is do. Will they feel different?

[Ed Larson]

I'll never know.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Dude. How far does it go? Do they put the mold in? Does it go up to their. Like how deep does it go in?

[Ed Larson]

I just don't understand the foot thing because like, it's like, is this person want to bang Christ?

[Henry Zabrowski]

I just don't know. Yes, yes, I guess. Oh, and this is a big mouth.

[Ed Larson]

That's the mouth. Wow, they really sent us a bunch of toys.

[Henry Zabrowski]

What I will say though is thank you so much club.

[Ed Larson]

Which one did you want?

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah, God. Is confiscated. Yeah, yeah. Here to get his.

[Ed Larson]

I.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Listen, I saw. What's her name? Sasha.

[Ed Larson]

What's her name? Sasha Gray.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Sasha Gray. This is my question. All right. So that the. What the depth is for? You know, it's pretty good.

[Ed Larson]

I just don't understand the bottom of a foot. Like, it's a sore. This is disgusting to me.

[Henry Zabrowski]

No, that's normal. That's what people like.

[Ed Larson]

What do you mean? The foot? It's like the palm of a foot.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yes. You only think that's the most popular thing.

[Ed Larson]

This is the most popular one. Yeah, I guess. Because it's not an option.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I will say none of this helps me bring my penis closer to mouth or extend my mouth. Unfortunately, it doesn't wish.

[Ed Larson]

It also just looks like a sad per. Like a person. You can't put their tongue in their mouth.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Well, yeah, that's what it's for.

[Ed Larson]

Can you open that one? I'm curious about that one.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Oh, this is the mouth one.

[Ed Larson]

The mouth one. I'm very cuz. Like, it's the tongue always out or does it, like, come out?

[Henry Zabrowski]

No, tongue's always out.

[Ed Larson]

Tongue's always out. Well, no, no one likes that.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I mean, you say this, Eddie, I just don't know if you use them.

[Ed Larson]

It just looks like a sick person.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah, of course it doesn't.

[Ed Larson]

Oh, it has grippers. Good. Wow.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah, it looks like.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

You're just going to slam your. You're going to slam it all in there. It's got a uvula. Make it talk. Make it say something.

[Ed Larson]

Hello.

[Henry Zabrowski]

This weekend, patreon.com you want to give out to your Patreon.

[Ed Larson]

Your dog needs a toy.

[Henry Zabrowski]

No, you'll destroy this. It's bad for him.

[Ed Larson]

We don't know.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Go. Go to the LP on the left for all of your social media needs and go to lastpodcastleft.com buy tickets for a live show.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, that's. We got.

[Henry Zabrowski]

This is the new opener.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, we got. Guess what? If you're getting this message and you want to come to the Columbus show, there's 10 tickets left. All right, there's 10 tickets left at Columbus. That's on November 30th. Go get your tickets to that. Henry and I, of course, will be at wise guys on December 7th in Las Vegas. Check that out. And then we're hitting Alaska.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Dude, just jerk off.

[Ed Larson]

Just jerk off. This is so expensive.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Like, and I. Colette, thank you. Zero tolerance. There are people that love.

[Ed Larson]

I'm glad you're making your money.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Thank you. So, honestly, I'm glad. Whatever the does to help people.

[Ed Larson]

But just.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Just straight up, guys, if. If. If anybody sees this in your home, they will never touch you ever again.

[Ed Larson]

I think this is for people who have given up.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah, I know that this isn't for.

[Ed Larson]

Someone who's like trying to get someone home. They're like, no, I got a mouth.

[Henry Zabrowski]

You're gonna.

[Ed Larson]

I got a mouth at home.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Don't worry if you are at this point. I mean, this. If you're at just the mouth, I actually have no problems with the. The. The vaginas and the buttholes. I think that makes a lot of sense. The foot. I don't like this. Sad.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Because guess what? This also can say I love you.

[Ed Larson]

It could say whatever you make it say. No.

[Henry Zabrowski]

You know, the only thing it's gonna say is you ram jam its throat.

[Ed Larson]

I do like that. You know, you really can't tell if it's a. It's a man or a lady.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I don't like the fact that it has no eyes.

[Ed Larson]

It's almost like the.

[Henry Zabrowski]

It's like you're just a disembodied hole. If Alien was a porno, this is like. I guess that's what. This one makes me sad.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. By the way, I'm gonna be in Oxnard on January 4th. That's a Sunday. Come check that out. They got Carolina Hidalgo, Julia Johns, and Holden and Jake are gonna do a set.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Do you have any stamps? Yeah, do you need me to do any stamps? Because unfortunately, there is no natural witness.

[Ed Larson]

How much material do you have? Disembodied mouth. You got five minutes.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I'm new. Yeah, pretty broad. Anybody know what it's like? Everybody else get anybody around here? Everybody gets so.

[Ed Larson]

So hard the back of your throat.

[Henry Zabrowski]

That you wonder if you're just some kind of silicone, too.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. I miss my eyes. I miss my eyes.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I missed my eyes. I miss. I miss my eyes.

[Ed Larson]

Yes. February 18th. It's a Wednesday. I'll be. Oh, I miss my eyes. Yeah, that's gonna be a lot of fun at the Punchline yo with Grant Gordon. He's gonna be there.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Oh, you wouldn't even believe how much I missed my eyes.

[Ed Larson]

Oh, it just turned Irish. Yeah. Yeah. No, yeah. No, it's.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Thanks, Colette.

[Ed Larson]

Thanks, Colette. Yeah. Thanks for the mouth with the tiny lips.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I hope they. I hope that you're getting it. Well, Colette.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Well, thank you, guys. Wonderful, wonderful episode of Side Stories. Eddie.

[Ed Larson]

What?

[Henry Zabrowski]

Thank you so much for everything you brought to today.

[Ed Larson]

Thank you. I appreciate it. I didn't bring nothing. What are we supposed to do with this? I guess we could sign these and give them away. Every time I see something like this.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I'm like, holden might like that one. No, Holden gets nothing holding.

[Ed Larson]

Gets nothing holding.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Does nothing holding.

[Ed Larson]

If Anyone gets this, it's Travis.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Oh, yeah. No. No.

[Ed Larson]

What do you mean, no? No. No one with a wife. No. But no wives.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Honestly, we need somebody who has, like, a dead wife. You know what I mean? Like, that's what this is for. This is for somebody with a dead wife.

[Ed Larson]

If you're a widower, you want a foot. The. Write in the side stories lpotlmail.com.

[Henry Zabrowski]

The widower with the saddest story. The saddest story.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

We will send you this.

[Ed Larson]

I'll sign the foot. You could. The sign foot.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yes.

[Ed Larson]

And just that. Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

But we. I want to get this saddest story possible.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I want to.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Real widower.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. A widower. Yeah. How did. How did she go? All that stuff. Yeah, yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

What she take?

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. And how you feel like you can't.

[Henry Zabrowski]

You know, You.

[Ed Larson]

You do. You're having trouble, like, talking to women again, because you're just sad. You think of her and you miss her feet.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yep.

[Ed Larson]

If you miss her feet.

[Henry Zabrowski]

If you miss her feet, we'll send you one of these, and we'll send you some Funko pops to get you going.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. Footing around. You know what it says? It's. It's got a depth of 9 inches, so you could take a. It could take a big one.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Thank God, because I'll need every inch.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

You know me.

[Ed Larson]

Oh. The insertable length is only five and a half.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Oh, what am I. What am I going to do with all that trash? What am I going to do with all the rest of my. All right, guys.

[Ed Larson]

See you in Vegas.

[Henry Zabrowski]

See you in Vegas. The essential dining experience is set long before the plates are plated, the sauce is simmered, or the puree hits the pan. It starts with a simple blend that's.

[Ed Larson]

Consistent, purposeful, and precise.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Trusted by the world's best chefs. So you can bring your best Vitamix.

[Ed Larson]

Only the essential.