Side Stories: New Year's Evil

Summary

Last Podcast On The Left — Side Stories: New Year's Evil (Episode Summary)

Podcast: Last Podcast On The Left
Episode: Side Stories: New Year's Evil
Date: January 7, 2026
Hosts: Henry Zebrowski, Ed Larson, Nate (Producer), Holden McNeely (Guest)

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Overview

Kicking off 2026 with their trademark blend of horror, satire, and true crime, Henry Zebrowski and Ed Larson return from the holiday break for a Side Stories episode that bounces between international conspiracies, sensational news, pedophile networks, and the minor indignities and hilarities of aging. Joined by Nate and featuring an "uncle corner" rap segment from Holden McNeely, the team dissects both world-shaking headlines and personal anecdotes, all filtered through LPOTL’s irreverent, darkly comic lens.

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Main Discussion Topics & Insights

1. New Year's Banter & White House Cynicism (01:16–04:31)

• The hosts reflect on the chaos and unpredictability of America as they step into 2026.
• Banter about the “surprise” factor of America, with jokes about U.S. foreign policy and historical irreverence.
  • “You don’t know what we’re gonna do. You think we’re gonna zag? We’re zigging.” — Henry Zebrowski (01:25)
• A brief, sardonic take on the partial destruction of the White House and the fall from grace of American institutions.

2. Epstein Files & Political Conspiracies (04:45–23:16)

Venezuela Invasion Theories

• Trump’s late-2025 invasion of Venezuela is blamed on both deflecting from the Epstein files and more fantastical motives (e.g., searching for Stargates).
• Satirical assertion that "the tomb of Gilgamesh" and a Venezuela "Stargate" prompted the invasion.
  • “We discovered the tomb of Gilgamesh. And do you know who Gilgamesh is?” — Henry Zebrowski (07:56)
• Ed’s more down-to-earth theory: Trump invaded Venezuela to retaliate for absent wait staff at his Doral golf course, highlighting the episode’s blend of the absurd and realpolitik.

Epstein Files Dump

• Over Christmas Eve, a massive dump of Jeffrey Epstein files is discussed, mocking the shoddy redactions and ineptitude of governmental cover-ups.
  • “All they had to do was copy it and then paste it and then it unredacted it.” — Henry Zebrowski (16:30)
• The hosts describe diving into the files, which include everything from new accusations involving Trump, Larry Nassar, David Blaine, and Woody Allen.
• A major, chilling revelation: an unsubstantiated allegation involving Trump’s presence at a botched abortion involving Epstein, referenced in both emails and testimonials.
  • “There was an... email with Jeffrey Epstein... talking about Trump being involved in a scenario where... he was a part of either a botched abortion or... they apparently threw a dead baby in a lake.” — Henry Zebrowski (19:56)
• Emphasis on the density and darkness of the released material and the profound incompetence of the elite at hiding their crimes.

Satirical Defense of Clinton and Law

• The episode jokes about Bill Clinton's supposed indifference to prosecution and frustrations over laws shielding ex-presidents (21:50).
  • “Also, do you know why... Clinton could give a fuck... Just fucking kill me already.” — Ed Larson (22:05, 22:25)

3. Hypocrisy in Anti-Trans Politics; Dr. Ryan McDonough Case (27:40–33:03)

• The team lampoons the case of anti-trans Alaska Medical Board doctor Ryan McDonough, focusing on his child porn arrest and possible suicide as the epitome of "family-values" hypocrisy.
• Explains the logistics of pedophile file sharing and reiterates the prevalence of networks, given the Epstein revelations.
  • “Unfortunately, I have to roll back all the years I kept trying to say that there are pedophile networks — because technically it’s the only way they can work.” — Henry Zebrowski (30:13)

4. Houston Bayou: Serial Killer Theories (34:18–37:55)

• Ed flags a growing body count in Houston bayous (over 200 since 2017; 78 in the last two years), hinting at possible serial killers, but acknowledging there’s not enough concrete evidence yet.
  • “They've started tracking how many bodies they find in the bayou... since 2017 they found 200 bodies. And the craziest part is over the last two years, they have found 78 bodies.” — Ed Larson (34:54)

5. True Crime Oddities: Beanie Baby Mogul Attack (39:43–45:29)

• The strange case of Russell Fay, who broke into Beanie Babies billionaire Ty Warner’s home and beat his girlfriend/employee, with bizarre motivations involving Katy Perry and mental illness.
• The hosts riff on the absurdity of beanie baby wealth, possible Canadian plots (tongue-in-cheek), and the luxury of the Santa Barbara prison where the perpetrator now resides.
  • “Why did they make the Santa Barbara prison cute? It looks like a bell tower… why does it look like a Disney owner hotel church?” — Henry Zebrowski (46:12)

6. Uncle Corner & Holden’s Birthday Freestyle Rap (49:03–57:03)

• "Uncle Corner": a new, tongue-in-cheek segment where the aging hosts (with Holden McNeely) reflect on overlooked fatherhood, birthdays, and the inevitability of aging.
• Holden delivers a surprisingly competent freestyle rap recounting his birthday debacle: too much drink, light drug use, accidental injury at home, and the sadness of December birthdays.
  • “I fell somehow in my chair. I think I leaned back, lay my chin on the dining room table, and I started bleeding all over the place. I have blood gushing out my chin, I knew I wouldn't win...” — Holden McNeely (54:20)
• The segment is both humorous and bittersweet, as the group acknowledges the challenges and indignities of middle age within their comedic rapport.

7. Upcoming Live Shows & Fan Interaction (33:07, 60:25–61:59)

• Announcements for live shows in Alaska, Illinois, Kentucky, Rochester NY, and London, Ontario.
  • “The smaller the weirder the town, my favorite place to do a show.” — Henry Zebrowski (61:18)
• They call on fans for local recommendations—restaurants, activities, etc.—to enrich their travel experiences.

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• On Political Incompetence:
  “The people that run our country right now are the single least-talented criminal organization we have ever seen.” — Henry Zebrowski (16:02)

• On the Epstein Files Drop:
  “It’s only 1% have been given to us. And he's already flushed a baby in Lake Michigan.” — Ed Larson (11:27)

• On Hypocrisy & Scandal:
  “It sucks that now, to like a politician, they just have to fuck adults.” — Ed Larson (06:44)

• On Aging & Not Faking Youth:
  “I’m not going to start saying words out of school. I’m not going to start acting like a child... I don’t need to pretend to be young. I don’t want to pretend to be you children. Dead ass. Fine.” — Henry Zebrowski (48:21)

• On the Houston Body Count:
  “It is insane what we’re seeing here... it also seems like they really think that there’s a serial killer down there, and they’ve been finding so many bodies that now it is officially… a thing.” — Ed Larson (36:10)

• On Beanie Baby Crime:
  “Do you think he had Princess Di murdered just to bring up the price of the baby... stock manipulation?” — Henry Zebrowski (44:50)

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Timestamps For Key Segments

• 01:16–04:31: Opening banter, America’s chaos, White House cynicism
• 04:45–15:00: Venezuela invasion conspiracies & the search for Stargates
• 15:00–23:16: Epstein files dump, including Trump, Clinton, David Blaine, Woody Allen
• 27:40–33:03: Alaska Medical Board doctor's scandal & anti-trans hypocrisy
• 34:18–37:55: Houston bayou body count and serial killer speculation
• 39:43–45:29: Beanie Baby mogul assault and absurd billionaire culture
• 49:03–57:03: “Uncle Corner,” Holden’s birthday, and in-studio freestyle rap
• 60:25–61:59: Upcoming live dates & the joy of “weird” small towns

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Tone

• Signature LPOTL: A mix of gallows humor, rant, wildly speculative but knowing satire, and genuine outrage—punctured by moments of warmth and self-deprecation.
• Conversational & Tangential: Rapid-fire jokes, inside references, and an open invitation for listener interaction.

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Conclusion

The first Side Stories of 2026 balances fresh outrage over political corruption and shocking new details from the Epstein files, social commentary on hypocrisy, and comedically dark asides on everything from serial killers to Beanie Babies. The Uncle Corner and Holden’s birthday rap provide levity and a sense of camaraderie among aging weirdos still fighting to tell the darkest stories with a laugh.

Transcript

[Henry Zebrowski]

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[Nate]

Special Agent Will Trent, abc. Tuesdays you run from the dark.

[Ed Larson]

That's why it chases you.

[Nate]

Get out of my house. The hit series Will Tread is back.

[Ed Larson]

Will, this is a manhunt, not a.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Murder that needs to be solved.

[Nate]

And the truth, this man killed my mother and left me to die. He's out.

[Ed Larson]

I think if we don't catch this.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Guy, then he's gonna go off the.

[Nate]

Deep end of control.

[Ed Larson]

They won't even see you coming.

[Nate]

I have to end this will tread. Tuesdays 8, 7 Central on ABC and stream on Hulu.

[Ed Larson]

There's no place to escape to. This is the lost on the left side stories.

[Henry Zebrowski]

That's when the Cannibal started. Side stories. Yes. Got it.

[Ed Larson]

God bless America. You know, I love being a winner.

[Henry Zebrowski]

You know what it is about America is that no matter what, we'll surprise you.

[Ed Larson]

Right?

[Henry Zebrowski]

You don't know what we're going to do. You think we're going to zag? We're zigging.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. You think we're just blowing up fishing boats?

[Henry Zebrowski]

We are taking the Fisher men.

[Ed Larson]

That's right.

[Henry Zebrowski]

We're getting in there.

[Ed Larson]

Our old is a caracas of.

[Nate]

Wow.

[Henry Zebrowski]

2020 Caracas of. Can you believe that we've made it to this future year 2026.

[Ed Larson]

Guys.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Is that just my. So my pacemaker shutting off. Nothing's here.

[Ed Larson]

Turn it back on. We should just get a real air horn, though.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah. Yo, honestly, put it on the list. Welcome to side Stories. My name is Henry Zabrowski. I'm sitting here with the brave Ed Larson.

[Ed Larson]

Hi. And I'm very brave. Super brave. I'll fight all you people.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Please don't.

[Ed Larson]

I'm coming for you. I've got two fists, one for each of your moms.

[Henry Zebrowski]

You leave your. Honestly, I hope you have a gay mother. I pray you have a gay mother. So obviously a lot of news came out. Christmas break, we took it. What a wonderful time we had. Ed Larson.

[Ed Larson]

Oh, my God.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I got to see you quite a bit.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. And then you know what else? We got to not see the fucking shit out of each other a bunch as well. And that was actually surprisingly nice.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Key to friendship.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Is not being there. Time apart every once in A while to save a bit. We had a wonderful time. We went out for. We had Christmas Eve. You guys came over. You celebrated with my family. It was really nice.

[Ed Larson]

My mom was in town.

[Henry Zebrowski]

She. She had lots to say about Epstein.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. I bought her a nice bathrobe.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Thank you. Honestly. Because I'm sick of her walking around naked.

[Nate]

Thank you.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Come on.

[Nate]

Hell yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Cover my mother's tits. I just love that every thought inside of my mother's tits is now wrapped by ed's gift. Happy January 6th. We also want to say to everybody's favorite holiday, happy January 6th.

[Ed Larson]

Happy January, Jason. Well, tomorrow, when you hear this, it'll be January 7th.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Can someone please storm the White House for me? I'd love to get in there. I never got to do it when was ours.

[Ed Larson]

We know no one. No one ever stormed the White House. Oh, yeah. Andrew Jackson was inaugurated.

[Henry Zebrowski]

You're right. Definitely didn't do.

[Ed Larson]

You can't even storm it. It's all gone.

[Henry Zebrowski]

They just calmly visited it.

[Ed Larson]

You just walk through the whole thing now.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I love that, though. Nothing makes me happier than our president's own disrespect of the White House, you know, and makes me so happy, you.

[Ed Larson]

Know, because honestly, fuck the White House.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Fuck the White House.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. It's like. It's kind of funny that half of it's gone. I love I. What they've done.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I love that they're saddled with him. I love that every child molester in that building has to deal with the child molester in chief just ruining the place. They deserve every minute of it. But, Eddie, as we know, over the Christmas break, the holiday break, a lot of news, things flew around. Right. And. And I feel that maybe a part of it is because the stories we got sent in for the return of side stories for 2026. Fairly weak.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. A little boring.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Get a little boring because it seemed that the stories that were the main stories going on across the entire world. Quite exciting.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. I feel like this would be a great time to commit petty crime and not get it exposed.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Dude, this is the time. Our Trump is setting the smoke screen for everyone now. He was so upset about what was revealed inside of the Epstein dump. Of the last couple of Epstein dumps, he decided to invade Venezuela. Now we now know that he invaded Venezuela simply because we wanted the oil.

[Ed Larson]

Yes. And the gold. Don't sleep on the gold. They got other minerals, too.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Believe me, I wish I could get some of that gold, but Dick Cheney would be roll. He's rolling in his grave right now. Thinking about all of the work he spent piecing together a gigantic worldwide conspiracy to make the still somehow love America in some shred. Some piece of soft power out there. After we went and subjugated everyone. Right? Yeah. He worked so hard.

[Ed Larson]

He really did. He really did. He's the misdirect king.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Dick Cheney's first heart was made of gold. And he had a view for this country, a long view for this country. Because he's like, you can't just come out and say this. They had the WMDs and then we had all the stuff.

[Ed Larson]

And I was saying it's a bad.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Man, but a bad guy. Well, Maduro was a bad guy.

[Nate]

Bad guy, bad guy, bad guy.

[Henry Zebrowski]

But he didn't even come. We kind of said fentanyl. They kind of said fentanyl. Maybe they didn't even try to come up with an excuse, which I think is very, very funny. And it is great because again we're seeing this Dick Cheney. You failed.

[Ed Larson]

You failed.

[Henry Zebrowski]

You failed. You dead.

[Ed Larson]

He is a dead.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I love that he's dead. This story. But there's a deeper story here. You know that, right, Eddie?

[Ed Larson]

What? The Venezuela thing.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Have you heard of the tomb of Gilgamesh?

[Ed Larson]

No.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Now what? A lot of people don't understand that. Yes. Dick Cheney, wise, American. Truly one of the.

[Ed Larson]

You like this too much.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I'm actually coming around on it. All of this recent news. I've been reading too much about Epstein. The lack of Cheney in the Epstein emails is making me like him.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

That is what's happening.

[Ed Larson]

It sucks that like now we just like to like a politician. They just have to fuck adults.

[Nate]

You, you could do just.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I don't care if you hit a kid.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Nate]

Like literally knock it out. I'd rather.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I would have more respect for you beating your child than it.

[Nate]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Okay.

[Ed Larson]

That's.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I mean it's a low bar.

[Ed Larson]

It really is.

[Henry Zebrowski]

But that is. But at least there is one. So yes, Dick Cheney, obviously he there and. And our. Our intelligence operations, our military, we sought after trying to gain a really strong foothold in the very chaotic Middle east region. Trying to take over the oil, all this type of stuff. Right. We believe this an idea of creating an American future.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Right. Or somewhat at a slightly American Russia, Chinese equal divvy up of the world.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Right. That was like one of the other big discussions that started back with Kissinger. So we thought we created all these things, but that was not why we invaded Iraq. The reason why we invaded Iraq is that in 2003 we discussed.

[Ed Larson]

Second, Iraq evasion.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yes. The big one, the long one.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Nate]

Down to the shaft.

[Henry Zebrowski]

We discovered the tomb of Gilgamesh. And do you know who Gilgamesh is?

[Ed Larson]

I have no clue what you're talking about.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Gilgamesh is the ubermensch of the, I believe, the Hindu religion. In many ways. Gilgamesh was a powerful, powerful, like they believed to be either magician or a God on earth. And there's lots of rumors that his tomb was somewhere. We don't even know if Gilgamesh was real. Right. But I'm going to say, for our story, for what I'm saying right now, entirely real.

[Ed Larson]

I believe in him.

[Henry Zebrowski]

And a part of what happened was that our government. And this is true, they believe that they had found. I mean, true as in mean it was written on the Internet. They found the tomb of Gilgamesh in 2003 in Iraq.

[Ed Larson]

Okay.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Which just so happened to be, Eddie.

[Ed Larson]

A Stargate. A Stargate.

[Henry Zebrowski]

And the reason why we went into Iraq in the first place was to get that.

[Ed Larson]

Stargate, the mediocre Kurt Russell film you're talking about.

[Henry Zebrowski]

No, it's not. I'm not talking about a warehouse of the old DVDs, I'm talking about an actual portal. They believe they went to this. There was this, some giant machine or we don't really know, but what they're saying, essentially there was a hidden machine style like thing inside of this tomb because he was viewed as this sort of like he might have been a future man. Right.

[Ed Larson]

The cradle civilization is there and all that.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I don't fucking know, Eddie. But that. You see, there's something else that happened not several months ago. A new heretofore undiscovered culture.

[Ed Larson]

Eighteen months ago, a new Stargate.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Listen. Was found in the heels of Venezuela. Really? Sure.

[Ed Larson]

But they don't have the Tigris or the Euphrates there.

[Henry Zebrowski]

No, all they have is sweet, sweet crude. Last time I had sex, last time I had to deal with a bunch of a nasally Venus, aliens, Croods. I was in a fucking. Whatever you did.

[Ed Larson]

I didn't say anything. I'm waiting for you to finish your point.

[Henry Zebrowski]

So here we go. Back in mid 2024, archaeologists confirmed a previously unknown culture and massive 130 foot snake markers in the Tepuis. Lost, Lost world mountains. And now they found this like culture and they say that Maduro immediately had sent the entire South American military down there to cut it off. Again, I don't know if this is real or not, but I'm saying It's real. Okay, Right. And then, coincidentally, not 18 months later, we invade in the same area, Caracas, the capital, trying to take over Venezuela to get whatever is the secret weapon.

[Ed Larson]

You think it's the Stargate?

[Henry Zebrowski]

It's gotta be.

[Ed Larson]

You think we're trying. You think Trump wants a Stargate?

[Henry Zebrowski]

I think that he doesn't know there's a Stargate.

[Ed Larson]

Oh, okay.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I think the other guys know that there's a story.

[Ed Larson]

Stephen Miller's like, I met Mr. Gate.

[Henry Zebrowski]

There's no Jews on the other side.

[Ed Larson]

Here's what I think. I think what happened.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Oh, no, he likes the Jews. I'm sorry.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, yeah. No, yeah. But here's what I think happened with Venezuela. Here's what. Here's my personal.

[Henry Zebrowski]

You're saying I'm wrong.

[Ed Larson]

I'm not saying you're wrong. I saying that both things can be true at the same time. That's what I'm saying. Here's why I think Trump really wanted to invade Venezuela. Not just to make us stop talking about the Epstein files, which we'll get to in a second, because we're not going to stop. Yeah, we can't stop. I'm going to as soon if they put him in prison and hang him, I'm going to still talk about it.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Epstein files is just too much fun.

[Holden McNeely]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

It's a gift that keeps on giving, buddy.

[Ed Larson]

It's only 1% have been given to us. And he's already flushed a baby in Lake Michigan.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Dude, 1% of of it is not. It's only been released. Millions of files I downloaded already threw.

[Ed Larson]

A baby into a great Lake.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Dude, I've already downloaded the first three sets of all of the zip files. Let's go. Ready? Get.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. No, I. I've been listening to it. I put a beat underneath it.

[Henry Zebrowski]

It's kind of.

[Ed Larson]

It's jazz.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah. It's kind of, you know, it's a ball about the kids. You don't.

[Ed Larson]

So here's why he really invaded Venezuela. All right? As a standup, I've learned this, okay? As an amateur stand up, I've played the Miami Improv, okay? The Miami Improv.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Famously, Miami is one of the worst places I've ever done comedy, ever.

[Ed Larson]

And do you know why? Because the Miami Improv is not in Miami. It is in Doral, Florida. Okay?

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah, Doral, Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

And across the street from the Miami Improv in Doral, Florida, okay. Is Trump's golf course. Okay.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Okay?

[Ed Larson]

Now, that show at the Doral Comedy. At the Miami Improv. Yes. Filled. That is a Heavy, heavy, heavy. Venezuelan neighborhood.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Really?

[Ed Larson]

It's like all Venezuelan. So what I think is a couple of waiters didn't show up for work at Trump International Golf course.

[Henry Zebrowski]

This is a caddy retrieval. Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

And he's like, and he's like, you know what? I'm a fucking bomb. Your family.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I know exactly.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Oh yeah.

[Ed Larson]

That's what I think.

[Henry Zebrowski]

That's my personal theory. Oh yeah.

[Ed Larson]

I think David giving him hell.

[Henry Zebrowski]

He knows Trump International. There was two different. Like he had several. You had the topiaries inside of Mar a Lago in order to make them look like 13 year old girls require constant maintenance. And so when those lawn men leave, you know that Trump went all the way down to Venezuela to get him back.

[Ed Larson]

Yep, that's what happened. Yeah, that's what happened.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yep.

[Ed Larson]

We got a bus, toy, foreign report.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Suck my dick. Yeah.

[Nate]

Fuck you, dude.

[Ed Larson]

Someone spilled Coca Cola in some thousand island on Trump's lap. And he's like, I'm going to kill your family.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah, as good as reason as any. But yeah, that is. But you know, so Venezuela, all the story. That's not the big story. I don't even view it as the big story.

[Ed Larson]

Unfortunately not. Because it's just two mobsters really wacky. It really is like I'm watching this. I'm like, this is like the Lucchese family. Lucchese family's attacking the Gambinos.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Can I also my big. One of my big conspiracy theories in this one is fact that you see Maduro constantly giving thumbs up. I think it was a part of a plan.

[Ed Larson]

Oh yeah. Oh, you mean because he like acts like Trump.

[Henry Zebrowski]

There was something about this in which he's going to go somewhere like I guess, I guess I don't know where they're going to. They're going to try him in America or whatever.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

And then I could easily see him getting like pardoned and then him just like going someplace.

[Ed Larson]

Takashi69 wants to hang out with him.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Apparently that's a fun ass afternoon.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I want to see that reality show.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Oh my God. It would be man, the editor on that.

[Ed Larson]

What?

[Henry Zebrowski]

Wow, I would love to deal with that. But the real news is the fact that we're back here in 2026 somehow still bringing you updates.

[Ed Larson]

That's right.

[Henry Zebrowski]

It's an island adventure.

[Nate]

Heck yeah.

[Ed Larson]

It's Jeffrey time.

[Henry Zebrowski]

God, it feels good to be back in the temperate waters around Jeffrey Epstein's island. You know, I got you guys Christmas presents. Oh, Rob got his Christmas presents. What is this? It's your own little island.

[Nate]

Oh, it's all my own little island. I can do anything I want there.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Oh, no, we have neighboring islands so that we can keep a whole pattern of secrecy.

[Ed Larson]

Oh, it's big enough for a child.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Child in my knee. That's all I need. That's all I need is room for a child in my knee and my little island.

[Ed Larson]

I want a big Saint Bart.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah, don't you worry. Saint farts, more likely when you get there. We love kids together, you know. Updates aplenty this week because what they did, our wonderful administration, when they decided to do, which I actually completely agree with, dump the hardcore Epstein files that they would even allow us to have after their own poultry scan of them on Christmas Eve. Right. So a lot of this stuff came out on Christmas Eve. We now know that one of the big fun things was they up with all the encoding. So most of the redacted stuff that could be pulled out, I have used.

[Ed Larson]

Like Photoshop or something.

[Henry Zebrowski]

They're just, they're. They. We are looking at the worst criminal. The people that run our country right now are the single least talented criminal organization we have ever seen. Yeah, they are. I am constantly just surprised at how truly bad they are at doing every form of COVID up.

[Ed Larson]

You don't need to be in a hurry, guys. Just take your time.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Take your time.

[Ed Larson]

You know, like cross out your T's, cross out your thought about your eyes.

[Henry Zebrowski]

All they had to do was copy it and then paste it and then it unredacted it. Yep. Oh, yeah. And I have all those original files, so if you want them, I can send them to you.

[Ed Larson]

Oh, I can't wait.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I have the files that Trump they tried to pull. Right. So we already know that they put out a bunch of incriminating pictures of Trump and then they pulled them out, right? No, we already caught them. Those of us that had had the files already caught them. So I have those files, which is great.

[Ed Larson]

Nice.

[Henry Zebrowski]

And the. We know that's like all of this stuff came out. They did it in the dark of night. Because they're trying to say, remember, they're all like, you're going to want to take all these with a grain of salt.

[Ed Larson]

You don't think they were giving it to us as a Christmas present?

[Henry Zebrowski]

This is. I kind of felt like though they do in a way. They do. They didn't feel like it. So one of the big things that came out of the.

[Ed Larson]

The.

[Henry Zebrowski]

That last big dump was this letter that was really the only thing that got Publicity was this letter from maybe Jeffrey Epstein to Larry Nassar.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

For those of you that don't remember, great guy. Great, funny guy.

[Ed Larson]

Great guy.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Loved his job.

[Ed Larson]

Yes. He was Larry Bastard.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah. He. Larry Nassar was a. I believe he was a trainer and doctor for the. The Olympics.

[Ed Larson]

Right.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Like he did all this kind of stuff when like little girls.

[Ed Larson]

Women's gymnastics. Women's gymnastics, or even the adults are tiny.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Full on. Couldn't be more of a predator.

[Ed Larson]

Yes.

[Henry Zebrowski]

More than everybody.

[Ed Larson]

Every. Every single. It seemed like almost like everybody.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Every child he was in contact with, he just.

[Ed Larson]

He was a bad.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Very, very, very bad man.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Jeffrey Epstein did not have his contact information, but wrote his cell. He wrote to him in jail from jail. We now know that Jeffrey Epstein in this letter wrote. If it wasn't Jeffrey Epstein, if it was indeed that he wrote that. If you are reading this, you will know that the job that I wanted to do has already been done. Essentially, I'm dead. And I wanted to let you know that our president has the same predilections as us. He loves young, nubile girls. So he said that. Now, immediately the DOJ came out and they debunked it. They said it doesn't match his handwriting. They said there was a postmark issue. And I contend you. Because I think that's the. It's fine. Right? I don't even think it's. I don't even think it's real. Yes, the. The signature doesn't match. The postmark doesn't match. But the postmark was after he died. You can mail a letter after somebody fucking dies. Whoever knew about this new. He died in a deal cell, though, while it was written. So it was sent to Larry Nasser. We don't know. Again, we don't know.

[Ed Larson]

But did Larry Nasser get it?

[Henry Zebrowski]

No. That's how they found it is that he got returned to sender. Oh, because he didn't accept the letter.

[Ed Larson]

But don't they just go through everything that you send out anyway when you're in jail? Don't they just read every letter, incoming and outgoing?

[Henry Zebrowski]

It is another extremely fishy thing that was probably dumped. Probably. Honestly, to create this type of argument. Because the DOJ can come out and say. And the FBI, they could say, oh, that's why you got to like, really look at everything. Because this is a part of our investigation. Everybody, which is. Eat me. The stuff that's truly chilling, though, is the stuff that you think is nuts. So there was a redacted chunk of. Of material that came out on the 24th that talked about Donald Trump being involved in a scenario where he, it seems, was a part of either a botched abortion or like, it was.

[Ed Larson]

This is the big one for me.

[Henry Zebrowski]

This was the. Yeah, it's a big one. And they apparently threw a dead baby.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

In a lake.

[Ed Larson]

Well, he was there for it.

[Henry Zebrowski]

He said he was there.

[Ed Larson]

Didn't throw the baby into the lake. Yeah, we can't physically do it.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah, good work. Yeah, I like this. So normally when I first read that, I was like, oh, this is more hysterical. And told, you know, that there was another series of emails within the episode. This stuff is so thick, it's so hard to stop when you start. So there was an. Essentially a series of emails with Jeffrey Epstein and his. The guy that was a guest in charge of his estate. One of the people was in charge of his estate. And they were talking about some various things about Trump and they were talking about how, oh, I can't believe he's going to go down because this was in the first. Right before his first term when all of the, the, the. This stuff with grabber by the pussy and all the stuff came out. And they're like, oh, I can't believe that Trump rem.

[Ed Larson]

Innocent.

[Henry Zebrowski]

So they were talking back and forth like, oh, I can't believe some, some like essentially derogatory language about women. I can't believe these are going to bring him down. And that dead baby story didn't. Yes. And so I find that interesting that out of nowhere, these, like, dad was not seen anywhere else in the files. It was seen randomly in a conversation that corroborated the story that was. This other victim came forward and said, this thing happened. Yeah. And I was present for. So I don't know. I will say don't. It's not good news. I don't think the President was super thrilled that it came out.

[Ed Larson]

No.

[Henry Zebrowski]

And I think that there's a lot of other people. Bill Clinton is Bill Clinton.

[Ed Larson]

He's like, he's like, prosecute me.

[Henry Zebrowski]

You know why? Because anything's better than being in that house.

[Ed Larson]

Oh, also, do you know why he.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Needs to get out of that house? You know why?

[Ed Larson]

Clinton could give a fuck.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Of course it's all being done.

[Nate]

Back up.

[Henry Zebrowski]

You think that Clinton's headache, like, peaceful lunch since this has began again? Like, you think that he. No, he's like, put me in jail.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Let me go.

[Nate]

That's that.

[Ed Larson]

Because of the fucking new laws, he can't be put in jail because Trump made it illegal to fucking prosecute the next president.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Wow. Fantastic.

[Ed Larson]

So now Clinton's like, you can't even touch me. My life sucks anyway.

[Nate]

Let's just take it out fucking place.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Love a guy.

[Ed Larson]

Just fucking kill me. Just fucking kill me already.

[Nate]

Get something. Somebody come get somebody.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Just suicide me. I feel your pain.

[Nate]

Get somebody.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Please tell me to come and do what you did to Jeff. Have the same sword. Wasn't our good president.

[Ed Larson]

Well, we talked about it.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Didn't you like me about it? Yeah, I know.

[Nate]

He just was.

[Henry Zebrowski]

He's like, he's back and forth. Somebody release him.

[Nate]

Yeah, from your grave.

[Henry Zebrowski]

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[Nate]

If anyone need.

[Ed Larson]

How.

[Henry Zebrowski]

All right.

[Ed Larson]

David Blaine should not need help trafficking children. He should be able to just put.

[Nate]

Them in a box and they should.

[Ed Larson]

Appear at Saint bars.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Kazam.

[Ed Larson]

You know, like, it's like abracadabra. Here they are. That is proof that magic isn't real. That is like, that is absolute proof that he's full of shit and none of it's real. Because if anyone should be able to get away with this crime, it's him.

[Henry Zebrowski]

You know, what was also included in the emails was some stuff from Woody Allen's. Woody Allen's police depositions and like that. There's a bunch of information that all came out where it's like I didn't know that there were other things on Woody Allen too. There's other stuff on Woody Allen. Of course, I had no idea. There was also the story of Jeffrey Epstein had worked on getting this, this 15 year old into this special school and they found all the applications for this 15 year old in his office that, that would go on to accuse him of rape as well. So it's like it's all coming together. It's all in the emails. So if you really want to have a good time, go crack them open.

[Ed Larson]

How much time did you spend on this on your Christmas break?

[Henry Zebrowski]

Hours. I read stuff and then I was listening to people break down what they read and then it was just because there's just too much. There's too much. You know what I will say, fantastic tour of his New York home.

[Ed Larson]

Oh really?

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah. I have all of this, all of the, the pictures of his entire Manhattan.

[Ed Larson]

Structures because it was just the, the dentist chair before him.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah. Now it's the whole house and God, he had bad taste. He really was just such a baby.

[Ed Larson]

Like to adults, of course he had.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Bad taste, you know. Shocking, right? He's really shocking.

[Ed Larson]

Even as a child, I was attracted to adults.

[Nate]

I know I said I didn't even.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Like K. I always liked big tits. All right, well, this is just kind of, this is just more of the upsetting news of our day. But we have here in her notes all I see Here is Tootsie's vagina.

[Ed Larson]

Oh, yeah, you had some vagina problems. Let's just move on. I was like pulling these gooey ropes out of her. She's got. She's got three different viruses.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I don't want to see the Tootsie Files.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, I'll show you. I'll show you.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I saw way. It's like a way happier stuff in the episode files. Yeah. All right, let's talk about this story because that'll lead us into a plug. Here we go.

[Nate]

So here we go.

[Henry Zebrowski]

In another super surprising story. Dr. Ryan McDonough, who was a part of the Alaska Medical Board, he was working on hardcore. Really, really putting in the time, trying to make sure. Anti trans kid. That he was an anti trans crusader. He was trying to make sure there'd be no way he. He was there for two votes. He was immediately put on by their Republican governor.

[Ed Larson]

Right.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Isn't it? Mike Dunleavy over in Alaska, which we're headed towards. And he immediately went in. He's a doctor, cardiologist, wanted to make sure. No way. No trans kids or any getting any help in Alaska. Right.

[Ed Larson]

You can't even go to the end of the world and be trans.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Nah.

[Ed Larson]

It's so aggravating.

[Henry Zebrowski]

And you know what I'll say too, is thank God somebody's punching this vulnerable group again.

[Ed Larson]

Yes.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Because I am sick and tired of their strength. Yes. You know, they really need it, especially in Alaska because, like, there's nobody in Alaska.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

How many trans people could there even be in Alaska that are trying to get help? Like, literally, the number's so little. How could you pop.

[Ed Larson]

You know how easy it is to talk in Alaska when your dick just sucks in your.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah, I'm just ahead there. I'm just ahead there. So this guy, he goes and gets arrested for. Downloaded for a bunch of child pornography.

[Ed Larson]

Yes. And 10 felony count.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah. So he got a bunch of ra. He downloaded it. He was putting around their child sexual abuse material.

[Ed Larson]

You know, I never.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Cuz child pornography requires lighting agents.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I mean, if it's. If it's. If it's pornography means there's a director.

[Ed Larson]

I just like, forget. All right, let's just take the child out of this and let's just talk about pornography for two seconds.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Thanks.

[Ed Larson]

Who's downloading it?

[Henry Zebrowski]

What do you mean?

[Ed Larson]

You don't download pornography. You just watch it.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Well, these guys have to download pornography because they're sharing it over things like Telegraph and they're sharing things and it's the only way to have it. So you have to download it. You can't just stream it. You. Well, you could, but then you don't got it. And then the idea is a lot of these guys, what you find out, it's collectors and it's got them, need them. Got them, need them. They see files, right? There's a bunch of files and then they do P2P file sharing. So they'll go on to. A lot of these guys get busted on. Because they're. They're horrifically bad at stuff. And they put it on Dropbox and they put it in very public aspects. Then people. Yeah. In the cloud, where these guys are doing it on direct messaging to each other in these giant systems, the pedophiles have to work in groups.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

It is the only way they can work. So they. Unfortunately, I have to roll back all the years I kept trying to say that there are pedophile networks because technically it's the only way they can work. Yes.

[Ed Larson]

I mean, obviously it's very true that there is pedophile networks because. Because you're going through the Epstein files and it's always like. It's like the who's who of pedophiles.

[Henry Zebrowski]

And there's like pedophile networks all next to each other. You got. No one's even talking about the Epstein pictures with Michael Jackson. When you're sitting there with a Michael Jackson and he's in full makeup and he's sitting there and he's looking at it. I'm just. Sorry, I'm already broke off of this. And he's looking at Michael Jackson dressed like that. That picture of him and Michael Jackson at one point. Are you looking at Michael Jackson that close while he looks like that and you' like, man, you're a fucking weirdo.

[Ed Larson]

Look at ghosts.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Like, if you could hang out with that evil like that picture later, period. Michael Jackson, when he is turning into semen, is one of the most scary.

[Ed Larson]

He's just covered in clown makeup.

[Henry Zebrowski]

He's Slender man. And they're having a blast.

[Ed Larson]

It's so just.

[Henry Zebrowski]

They sit there just smiling like they're flirting with each other. Michael Jackson's the scariest looking person in the world right now. He looks like. What's her name? Aunt Gladys from Weapons Happens. She really does, you know, like, that is frightening. He's dressed like the joker. Yes.

[Ed Larson]

And Epstein's just wearing a hoodie with no shirt.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Well, he's doing. He's too. He's sexy. Eddie. This whole thing is that he's sexy. All right, let's get back.

[Ed Larson]

Let's get back.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Let's get back. So Dr. Continued, Other sexy guys. So Dr. Ryan McDonough. Right. Obviously he was having a bit of a problem there, you know, so there are people pretty upset about it. People mad with him. He was like obviously saying like, oh, you know, the cuz. He's trying to blow off steam.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Everybody's making a big deal about it. And so because they gave him such a big deal about it, it seems he set himself on fire in his own home. And they found.

[Ed Larson]

They let him out on bail.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Of course they let him out on bail.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Oh, yeah. Just so we can really cover stuff up. So he went set himself on fire. They're trying to say that they don't know if it's body's his body yet, but it's definitely going to be his body.

[Ed Larson]

He's unaccounted for.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah, that's what they saying right now. He's unaccounted for. And I. It just makes me really happy.

[Ed Larson]

You think so? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That he set himself on fire. Yeah, yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I mean, I think in many ways, like the guys that do this, it's just like. Yeah, it's how you're supposed to go.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, right.

[Henry Zebrowski]

He said fire to himself. I think that that's like. I love how painful that is.

[Ed Larson]

Was it painful for him?

[Henry Zebrowski]

It had to have been. He set himself on fire. Unless he blew his brains out.

[Ed Larson]

He probably blew his brains out first.

[Henry Zebrowski]

If he's not. I mean, if he's a. I mean, who.

[Ed Larson]

Who kills themselves by fire?

[Henry Zebrowski]

Drunk people.

[Ed Larson]

Oh, yeah. All right. Purposely kills themselves.

[Nate]

Oh, yes.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Self humiliation.

[Ed Larson]

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Someone did it recently in front of the White House. Oh, yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

They loved it.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

They all got out there with their marshmallows. They were so happy. But this. Honestly, we even just told the story to remind you. We're coming to Fairbanks, Alaska.

[Ed Larson]

That's right. We're coming to Anchorage too.

[Nate]

But it's sold out.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Anchorage is sold out. So. So don't worry about that. But I challenge you to come meet us.

[Ed Larson]

Mike Dunleavy.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Mike Dunleavy out in Fairbanks, Alaska. We are going out there and it is going to be the end of the goddamn world out there.

[Ed Larson]

I'm very excited. I can't wait to be at the centennial center theater in Fairbanks, Alaska on February 21st with the wonderful Billy Wayne Davis. Come and check out Henry and I. And at the end of the show, stay tuned because we're going to announce A bunch more side stories.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Dates.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, baby. Yeah, man. Alask. I'm. I can't wait to see Alaska.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I cannot wait.

[Ed Larson]

I'm very excited to be scared, but I can't wait. Yeah. What do you have to be scared of? And then never coming back.

[Henry Zebrowski]

That's the thing. You know what? I'd say those guys give us some wrecks. Because I was looking at it. What do we do in Anchorage? In Fairbanks? I've heard already people saying there's not quite a lot to do in Fairbanks.

[Ed Larson]

No, there's nothing. But I definitely want, like, food late at night.

[Henry Zebrowski]

No, we. I don't think. I think we're going to get caribou. Aren't you going during, like the 30 days a night? Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. Fairbanks, we get no light, apparently. But Anchorage, we get a couple hours.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I'm excited.

[Ed Larson]

That's how much more noise north Fairbanks is than Anchorage. Wow. Yeah. Then we're gonna see the lights.

[Henry Zebrowski]

So cool.

[Ed Larson]

Now see the northern lights. As long as it's not cloudy. Yeah. I got one night. See these lights. There's a couple things going on that I wanted to bring up. The first one was just something I want to pay attention to. And I want to kind of like throw it out there to our sparrows. Yeah, sparrows and my little spies. See who's out there. I want to know what you all know about this. It's a very loose story that doesn't really. Really have many, like, hooks in it yet. But I'm very concerned about what's going on in Houston. There's a lot of people showing up dead in the bayou.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Well, we have been getting emails and people have been talking about serial killers operating in the Houston area for months. And what's. We haven't really been talking about it.

[Ed Larson]

Because there's no kind of evidence.

[Henry Zebrowski]

There's nothing really yet. Yet.

[Ed Larson]

Yet.

[Henry Zebrowski]

But it's. It is insane what we're seeing here.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Like, I don't know if this is multiple criminals dumping bodies. Like, because remember, at first. I don't know if you remember when they were going after the Long island serial killer. When they going after Lisk. Yeah. And that they. A part. At first they kind of had a parse like, which are victims and which are like. Because it was also like a dumping ground.

[Ed Larson]

When do we officially get to say it's the guy with the big head.

[Henry Zebrowski]

He's down on. She hasn't gotten to trial yet. He's not. We can't say anything. Anything. Technically. I actually find it kind of Even irresponsible. There's been multiple documentaries calling him less because he's not been. He's not guilty yet.

[Ed Larson]

Yes.

[Henry Zebrowski]

So. But it's him. We pretty much know, like, there's a lot of evidence and it's a lot of stuff. But. But yeah.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. So what's going on in Houston is. So basically, they've started tracking how many bodies they find in the bayou, which started being tracked in 2017, and they found. That's late since then.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Then.

[Ed Larson]

Since 2017, they found 200 bodies in the bayou. And the craziest part about it is, over the last two years, they have found 78 bodies in the bayou.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Is that not natural inflation?

[Ed Larson]

Yes. Especially in Texas. But.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah. No.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. So it's. Something's going on down there. A lot of them appear to be suicides. A lot of them appear to be just people, like, they don't know what happened.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Interesting.

[Ed Larson]

But that. So they found 33 bodies.

[Henry Zebrowski]

People just going there to die. I.

[Ed Larson]

It might be like a. A Bri. Golden Gate Bridge type situation maybe. But also, it also seems like they really think that there's a serial killer down there, and they've been finding so many bodies that now it is officially, like, a thing that everyone's talking about. Fascinating. They found 35 bodies in 2024. And they found 33 bodies in 2025.

[Henry Zebrowski]

They just found one this morning. Morning.

[Ed Larson]

They just found one this morning. So we're so the clock starting on 2026.

[Henry Zebrowski]

So what it's. So what's. What we just find? Like, we just don't know. We don't know whether or not it is just a popular body spot.

[Ed Larson]

Yes.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Or if it is indeed. Like, because this could be like, you.

[Ed Larson]

Know, like, there's lots of gangs in Houston.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

You know, there's lots of stuff like that. So who knows? There's lots of oil people in Houston. There could be weird going on. Of course, we don't know, but they're fine.

[Henry Zebrowski]

It's a lot of international travel. There's a lot of international people that live in Houston.

[Ed Larson]

It's one of most culturally diverse cities in America.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yes. And we have a lot of people that are seasonal workers that go there, too. So I feel like there's probably quite a bit of that. People work in the oil, like we were saying, like, not. I mean, transient worker. Like people that travel for work, where they go there for the oil, I believe.

[Ed Larson]

And not just that. A lot of people who come in through the country, through Brownsville, they end up in.

[Nate]

Yes. And Them damn hookers.

[Ed Larson]

Yes.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Apparently Alaska's got great hookers.

[Ed Larson]

Oh, yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah. Apparently that's the last spot for hookers.

[Ed Larson]

No. Yeah, because of all the crap.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I don't even understand.

[Ed Larson]

Deadliest catch that you've seen is Alaska.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

Deadly catches. Alaska.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Oh, wow.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. You never watched that show?

[Henry Zebrowski]

No.

[Ed Larson]

Oh, man. I almost moved there. I was ready. I wanted to be a crap man. Then I realized I'm not strong enough.

[Henry Zebrowski]

No, you're hard.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, I don't. I can't drink enough.

[Henry Zebrowski]

No, you don't like the cold. Did you get seasick on the groo?

[Ed Larson]

I didn't get seasick.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Sick. We got like slightly nauseous.

[Ed Larson]

Julie did.

[Henry Zebrowski]

She did.

[Ed Larson]

Julie did. One day.

[Henry Zebrowski]

She'd be a terrible crab woman.

[Ed Larson]

She'd be. I think she'd be fine. She'd be.

[Henry Zebrowski]

She'd be a terrible crab woman.

[Ed Larson]

What are you talking about? She could pull up all the crabs.

[Nate]

I think my wife can pull up so many crabs.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I would love to see your wife pull up crabs.

[Nate]

Sending her there.

[Ed Larson]

Sorry, baby.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Honestly, I have watched Eddie, I'll say this right here. Out of school, you're walking. This has got nothing to do with crime. Eddie's lovely wife, for some reason, is taken to doing full landscaping work in his backyard.

[Ed Larson]

We've talked about this on the show.

[Henry Zebrowski]

But she's digging back and forth. She's like a. Like, your back is getting bigger. Well, she.

[Ed Larson]

She's like. She gets cold a lot, you know, and so like, she's always got sweaters on and stuff. But the other day, I was looking at her in the mirror, I'm like, holy. Your triceps are like.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah, she's been lifting rocks all day.

[Ed Larson]

You're like a bad.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah, she's like doing Russian prison work in her backyard.

[Ed Larson]

Keeps me in check, man. She break the out of my nose. Anyone. If anyone tries to with me, Julie's gonna beat the out of you.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah. So I got nasty.

[Ed Larson]

Natalie. Yeah, yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Julie will fight too.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, yeah. That's the thing. I think Natalie's more peaceful.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Well, she's more. More.

[Ed Larson]

She's.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Well, I'd say not peaceful, but non confrontational.

[Ed Larson]

Julia doesn't like violence. But she'll fight you.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I saw this firsthand.

[Ed Larson]

Check out this dude. All right, this happened. A man broke into the guy to the Beanie Baby man's home.

[Henry Zebrowski]

There's so many things here.

[Ed Larson]

Ty Warner, the man's name.

[Henry Zebrowski]

So many things. You're confused me. So number one, Russell Fay, he broke into the Beanie Baby mogul. The fact that you could be a Beanie Baby mogul is amazing.

[Ed Larson]

Well, he is the guy. That's all the. I. I didn't know he was the man. Ty Warner, because. And all the Beanie Babies, they got the little heart with the Ty on it. So much sense.

[Henry Zebrowski]

He's a founder. So what?

[Ed Larson]

Founder. So he even saw him.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Did he found. So what? Did he like find the first Beanie Baby? I guess he made it. Yeah. Yeah. Look at this.

[Ed Larson]

They all have the Ty.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Heart.

[Ed Larson]

Heart thing on their butts.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I'm gonna say I'm looking at this guy and I.

[Ed Larson]

The Beanie Baby man.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah. I don't like him. Dude.

[Ed Larson]

He's a billionaire off of stuffed animals.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I don't like his face, man. No.

[Ed Larson]

What's the like about it?

[Henry Zebrowski]

Like his face. Apparently he didn't.

[Ed Larson]

He's filled with little beads. If you crack him open, he's just.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Filled with little beads. Do you think he had Princess die murdered just to.

[Ed Larson]

Just to bring up the price of.

[Henry Zebrowski]

The baby getting stock manipulation. All right, so he.

[Ed Larson]

You think this guy beat him up and broke into his house as a big Labubu fan?

[Henry Zebrowski]

What if he said, yeah, oh, wow, we found out it was a hit from the Labubu industry. That'd be amazing. So here we go. So Russell Fay. He. He's a.

[Ed Larson]

He's a.

[Henry Zebrowski]

He seems to be. He's quite sick. Seems to have schizophrenia. He broke into Ty Warner's mansion and beat a woman there that was described as Ty Warner's girlfriend and employee. Yeah, Linda Malik Oslanian. Right. Very lovely woman. She was beaten into unconscious by him until he was arrested in a coma. He broke himself. He put. Put himself in a room. Police. He had a. Barricaded himself in the room. Police had to pull him out of there. He's a big guy, 6 foot 3, 250 pounds. Damn. Big, big, big unit. And he said that apparently Katy Perry sent him there.

[Ed Larson]

Oh, yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah. He said that he had a mind.

[Ed Larson]

A Beanie Baby fan and want it wanting to like, steal all the Beanie Babies in the world was a super villain. It'd be for Beanie Babies.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Oh, yeah. And guess what she. Guess what she does now. She's sitting around with the prime minister all day, basking. Basking in his kisses. Oh, yeah. Justin Trudeau. She sits there. She got stolen from us, Eddie.

[Ed Larson]

Oh.

[Henry Zebrowski]

She was supposed to belong to America.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

We tried to send her to space and we brought her back.

[Ed Larson]

He brought her back. She was in my desert thing. We let her go to Montana. That's too close to Canada.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yep.

[Ed Larson]

And then he took her. Yep.

[Henry Zebrowski]

So Katy Perry is too busy sucking Canadian dick and telling this guy to attack our Beanie Baby moguls.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

And no one's asked her about it. And I feel like that's, like, one of the biggest things that I find to be a red flag here is the fact no one's asking Katy Perry any questions.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Why are you sending this man to beat the. His employee girlfriend?

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. Why are you in Canada?

[Henry Zebrowski]

What is it about? Oh, so you're plotting with Justin Trudeau up there in your little igloo. I don't know how you people live up there. And you're sending psychic assassins at our moguls to destabilize us.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. Beanie Baby is a respectable organization.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Beanie Baby. Whatever they do, whatever it is that they do. Besides making little bears is America's backbone.

[Ed Larson]

That's goddamn right.

[Henry Zebrowski]

And these. These Canadians. Canadian. I actually think this is a Canadian plot.

[Ed Larson]

Really?

[Henry Zebrowski]

Even though this guy, Will Russell, the.

[Ed Larson]

Guy that was arrested, he's an American.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Russell Faye. He was arrested several times. He's American. And for beating his girlfriend. He also beat several other people with a baseball bat.

[Ed Larson]

He also was 6, 5 or 6, 3, 250. You shouldn't need a baseball bat. You should be able to just use your hands.

[Henry Zebrowski]

No, no, he was angry guy. He beat a woman for. Because he broke into her front yard and started drinking out of her garden hose. And she said, you're. He said she was infringing on his basic right water. And then he beat her.

[Ed Larson]

So, yeah, he's a bad guy.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Smoke shot is crazy. Yeah. Yeah. It's kind of cute in a way. He just like the Flash. He'd like The Flash. In 2014, interview with the San Francisco Gate about a criminal diversion program for veterans with mental health issues. He was actually quoted as saying, I am fully trained for combat. I have been trained to eliminate you. I know that sounds crazy, but it's true. And so. Yeah. They just released these guys.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

And so he's just out there. I don't know how he got inside that Beanie Baby. Maybe mansion. Maybe God knows who left it because who vacuums all the Beanie Babies in there?

[Ed Larson]

Oh, because you got. They collect dust.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Oh.

[Ed Larson]

Imagine the dust in that house. Do you think it's filled with Beanie Babies, or do you think there's none in there? Do you think he's like these stupid things?

[Henry Zebrowski]

If 500. Wait a second. Go back to that. Go back to that. The Princess diana. Unopened is 550 grand.

[Ed Larson]

No, that's just what this person's selling it for.

[Henry Zebrowski]

There's a few of them, though, for, like, very, very high prices. You would have to be.

[Ed Larson]

Why is it. Look at this.

[Henry Zebrowski]

This one, $20,000. That is built on her blood.

[Ed Larson]

Wow.

[Henry Zebrowski]

$10,000. This man had Princess die. The end. Murdered.

[Ed Larson]

He definitely had.

[Henry Zebrowski]

He worked with the Saudis. He got her murdered. Yeah. For this. Because that's.

[Ed Larson]

Prince Andrew had something to do with it.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Oh, he's got.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, he's got.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Now he. Formerly known as Prince Andrew. He's just sitting around near. Oh. One of the other big reveals in the Epstein emails was his secret name.

[Ed Larson]

What's his secret name? The Princess Sandra.

[Henry Zebrowski]

The Invisible Man.

[Ed Larson]

The invisible Man.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I hate these. Well, anyway, Russell Fay is going to jail.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. He's in Santa Barbara jail, which I imagine is beautiful.

[Henry Zebrowski]

How nice.

[Ed Larson]

I have all the jails. Like, I mean, I almost want to go. I bet you could. I bet if you wanted to go to Santa Barbara jail, I bet it's on airbnb.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I. Yeah. Verbo.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah. I think that you have to go to Verbo. And I think that I could see the Tuscan. We're not even joking. Look at that. Look at how beautiful the front of that prison is.

[Ed Larson]

That's really.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Why did they make it that cute?

[Ed Larson]

I went to Santa Barbara for New Year's with Julie.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Why did they make the Santa Barbara prison cute? It is cute. It's adorable. That's hilarious. This is like a bell tower. That is the funniest thing I have ever. Why the. Does it look like a Disney owner Hotel? Church.

[Ed Larson]

It's a. Oh, it's an old church.

[Henry Zebrowski]

It looks like one. It's a prison.

[Ed Larson]

Probably is. Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

That is the most open prison I have ever seen.

[Ed Larson]

And I'm telling you, I'm about ready to become mayor of Santa Barbara, actually. I'm going to run Julie for mayor.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Where were we? Were we just. We saw, like, that prison citadel in the middle of the city where it's like. It had the giant citadel. It was like, right in the middle. We were just downtown. It was right before Christmas break.

[Ed Larson]

Right before it was Portland. Portland.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yes. We saw, like, they have that giant. Giant jail, like, in the center of town. And it's built like. Like a. It's built like a prison.

[Ed Larson]

Yes.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Because they want you to know you're going to prison.

[Ed Larson]

Yes. Where?

[Henry Zebrowski]

This is like Santa Barbara's prison. It looks like you could be going to a dmv. Yeah. The Portland, like the Portland prison. Yeah. It's frightening and has giant walls in front of it. Very RoboCop. It's to keep you in.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. OCP is a prison.

[Henry Zebrowski]

It's a jail. It's not like the Santa Barbara one looks like a visitor center.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, it looks. Yeah. It looks like there's multiple water fountains. Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Like you. That's the kind of. That's where Jeffrey Epstein go. Like this is the, this is the problem with stuff like this.

[Ed Larson]

You look at these two crime in Santa Barbara.

[Henry Zebrowski]

This is literally where they send people that are like, like that. This is where they would ascend that, that, that doctor that was busted for the child.

[Ed Larson]

You know, there's like a chef.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Oh yeah.

[Ed Larson]

You know there's a guy.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah. There's not a cook.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, not a cook. There's a chef.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Like there's a name on the menu.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

You know like as presented by. Right. Like there's a. Oh yeah. Santa Barbara is a nice. So much Tuscan tile. Oh, you know what I like.

[Ed Larson]

So beautiful.

[Henry Zebrowski]

You know what I love? Nothing better than also one of those great showers that you can sit down in.

[Ed Larson]

Oh yeah. I'm so sick of getting clean standing up.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I like doing it from the bottom up. I do it from the foot of the souls first.

[Ed Larson]

That's what I do.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Show them my butthole. Oh, well, we just wanted to begin our year before we get into letters. We just wanted to remind you here at last podcast on the left and as side stories is that we're not getting any younger now.

[Ed Larson]

And.

[Henry Zebrowski]

And we pledge to never promise to be children. Right. I'm not going to pull in Andrew Schultz. I'm not going to start saying words out of at a school. I'm not going to start acting like a child.

[Ed Larson]

You know, been there, done that.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I just mean like, I don't need to say like new words, new words like slang. I don't need to pretend to be young. I don't want to pretend to be you children dead ass. Fine. That's fine with me. That's why. Yes. But that's what we've decided to do is incorporate uncle corner and build it out so that now the uncle corner, you know, it's coming, coming and you can prepare for it.

[Ed Larson]

Bet. So.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Ah, angry anger. So here four Uncle Corners are very special guest Holton McNeely.

[Holden McNeely]

Oh, finally.

[Nate]

Six, seven, six, seven.

[Ed Larson]

Thank you.

[Henry Zebrowski]

So immediately negated what we said before this. So what we wanted to do here is people forget about the father.

[Ed Larson]

Uhhuh.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Through the Holiday season. And they.

[Ed Larson]

They.

[Henry Zebrowski]

They do. And. And us as older men now, we're getting to be on in the. In the older category. Right. We're starting to get in there. We. I think that you guys forget that we go through stuff too. And we. We.

[Ed Larson]

You're not a father.

[Henry Zebrowski]

No, but I could have been. If I cared.

[Holden McNeely]

Yeah. Henry, I think you'd be a really shitty dad.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Thank you.

[Ed Larson]

Thank you.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Thank you. I'll take that.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, you should take that.

[Henry Zebrowski]

So what we did is that. This is Holden McNeely.

[Ed Larson]

Hello.

[Nate]

Hey.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Now, we decided to do this at the top of the year to kind of get it out of the way. And what I did hear is that. Is that we decided to take Holden out for his 43rd birthday. Drug him. No, you did that to yourself. And then I said, these are mushrooms.

[Ed Larson]

And you took them.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yes, he took them. Happily. And then what he did was a very normal father thing to do, which just happened. And what I wanted. I'm going to set this all up for you, and then you can go. Holden, which is. He was very. In a human moment. He came home inebriated. Fell down.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He fell down. He woke up his family. He hurt himself. He bled. But the thing is, I think we need to remember that no one has ever given Holden a birthday.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Not ever. Ever.

[Ed Larson]

You're right. Your.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Your birthday is December 28th.

[Ed Larson]

Stan Lee, no one could give a. Yeah. About December 28th birthdays, it's like, worse than Christmas. Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

It's the worst birthday.

[Holden McNeely]

They call it the. The hidden day.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah.

[Holden McNeely]

Day after we've done the whole family suck thing.

[Nate]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

And then you might have gotten home. In between the New Year's time and the New Year's, you're already afraid about going back to work.

[Holden McNeely]

Last year, I. On my birthday, all I did all day was celebrated dying man. But yes, And I was given a thirty dollar gift certificate to nothing in particular. I was just given one of Those general ones.

[Ed Larson]

$30 to like, Amazon.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Go buy a bullet.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. Yeah, right?

[Holden McNeely]

I wanted to.

[Ed Larson]

So I. I literally, I was like. I was like, you know what, Henry? In all the years that we've been buddies with Holden. Yeah. We've never taken him out for his birthday. I think once I brought you to the movies.

[Holden McNeely]

Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. There will be blood.

[Nate]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

He remembers it.

[Nate]

Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

That's how long it was since we've done anything for you on your.

[Holden McNeely]

No one remembers. And nobody knows. And don't, by the way, stop wishing people happy birthday at Facebook. No one's looking at that.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Well, we are getting. It's Uncle Corn Corner. It's allowed. He's allowed. No one's looking at it. All right? But what we decided to do is.

[Holden McNeely]

Is that I hate your listeners with all of these.

[Ed Larson]

Okay. Emotions. You too.

[Henry Zebrowski]

They do, they do.

[Nate]

I don't like that.

[Henry Zebrowski]

But with all of these emotions that you feel and all of these things going on, I don't want you to tell the story with words.

[Holden McNeely]

Right.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I want you to rob.

[Holden McNeely]

Thank you. What's up?

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah, dude, I'm gonna need you to freestyle rap about your experience. Falling down on your birthday night and waking up your family.

[Nate]

Did he put D and T in the baby oil? He put D and D in the baby oil. Daddy got drunk as and decided to suck his own dick. But he couldn't cuz he couldn't get his rip. You gotta go do another fucking spooping mushroom pill, dude. I went to the bowling alley, saw a little man. He was dead. Sally. What? He told me to eat a mushroom pill. Then I drink many, many beers. And I spilled spill all over the place. And I pissed all over that little girl's face.

[Ed Larson]

Not my daughter, different one.

[Nate]

And I said, hey, bitch, go have fun. Gave her cup of couple tokens for the video game machines. And then I took out my beat. Change the beat.

[Holden McNeely]

Yeah, change it up. That's when the nights changed up.

[Nate]

Oh, buckets of beers. We got buckets of beers. We went bowling, y'. All. We got a couple buckets of beers. Strike one. Strike two. You suck.

[Ed Larson]

You.

[Nate]

I got another river moved. That's right. A few the of that fine again. Oh, no, it's daddy's den. Drank too much then and said, hey, let's go to a bar across the way. Drink another double beer day. That's right, it was double beer day. So I had one, then Bits then had said another one. And I said, son, can't you give me that loaded gun? I'm gonna go home and have some fun.

[Henry Zebrowski]

40 and slip. Freudian slip. Then I got home and I tried.

[Nate]

To make some macaroni and cheese. I tried to microwave some macaroni and cheese. Lexi was in the other room with my baby and they were trying to get some sleep. She said, hey, what the fuck is that? I heard a big splat outside in the dining room. He was fat. She went outside, saw me with blood gushing out my fucking chin, right? I. I fell somehow in my chair. I think I leaned back, lay my chin on the dining room table, and I started bleeding all over the place. I Have blood gushing out my chin. I knew I wouldn't win. Wife said, is this the end? I'm going to divorce her ass if you do it again. She went back to the bedroom. I went back to my own room. That's right. I got a separate room because you know, I've been drinking all up in my nose.

[Holden McNeely]

I know Daddy's sad you been drinking.

[Nate]

He ain't feeling very happy anymore.

[Holden McNeely]

But you know what I'm saying. Guys say this right now.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, Some partying right there.

[Holden McNeely]

Let me say this right now, right? It look bad.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Look at.

[Holden McNeely]

First of all, J. First of all, I love how fast word travels, right? Cuz I guess Lexi hit you up.

[Ed Larson]

No, I hit her up because I was like. I sent Holden home too drunk. I probably should have went with him. I literally, literally was like, I think he might be. And then she's like, he fell down. He's bleeding.

[Henry Zebrowski]

And then like, we were all just so happy because. Well, cuz you were very.

[Holden McNeely]

I woke up.

[Henry Zebrowski]

You just FL a switch.

[Holden McNeely]

Because this is what I want to establish. Everybody. We went out to a steak dinner.

[Ed Larson]

Nice night.

[Henry Zebrowski]

We ate. Hardcore. We ate.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Holden McNeely]

I had like a cocktail. Had like a glass of wine.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I was.

[Ed Larson]

We drank water.

[Henry Zebrowski]

At one point at the bowling, I ordered one.

[Ed Larson]

I ordered multiple pictures of one.

[Holden McNeely]

Water, zero.

[Ed Larson]

Shots, zero.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah, dude, it's just called being 43, man.

[Holden McNeely]

Only beers.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah, buddy. It's called being 43.

[Holden McNeely]

You got a weird whiskey and they.

[Nate]

Handed to you this.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I did. It was a very strange. Like a goblet. They handed me this weird V. Maker's mark. Yeah, it was very strange. Crazy looking. Very, very strange. That's at the Ventura pin. Yeah. And.

[Holden McNeely]

And I think it's the.

[Henry Zebrowski]

It's.

[Holden McNeely]

I've got to learn this, dude.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Dude.

[Holden McNeely]

Because also, Rob, I'm gonna look at your ass. I think the last time the light switched out of me was because Rob was like, do this dab head and.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Make me do it. So you're saying that he bullied you, Younger man bullied?

[Ed Larson]

Just a drink.

[Holden McNeely]

Yeah. Nate forced me to do a dab in front of everybody. Well, in the parking lot of the studio.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I've never forced anybody. He's never forced you. You very eagerly took it.

[Nate]

I was trying.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Holden McNeely]

And then we went and had a couple beers and again it happened. So I think it's the weed correlation with the alcohol.

[Ed Larson]

Beef, beer and the mushrooms and everything.

[Holden McNeely]

I'm annoyed at how little we did.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, I was. When I. When you turned so drunk and I called that Uber. I was like, what happened to him? Conversation. And then you just turned into a ghost.

[Holden McNeely]

No clue.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Well, yeah, either way, we even said your ass. It led to some great freestyle hip hop beats.

[Holden McNeely]

Yeah, thank you. I wasn't even expecting that. But I'm glad too, because I would have been in my head trying to come up with has to happen in the moment.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I would have never told you beforehand.

[Holden McNeely]

Okay, but you need to tell your producer to stop forcing talent in this network to do dabs.

[Ed Larson]

I actually hope he does.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I mean, I don't want him to force people, but yeah, dabs are great. They're really great. Well, Holden McNeil, do you have anything to plug?

[Holden McNeely]

Yeah, my slug dude.

[Ed Larson]

My addict.

[Holden McNeely]

What's between my legs, man?

[Ed Larson]

Man, listen to Nerd of Mouth.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah, listen to Nerd of Mouth.

[Holden McNeely]

Listen to Nerd of Mouth. Listen, Mouth. LPN tv. Please subscribe to LPN tv. Don't just watch the on there. Subscribe over there. Check out LPN Bloodbath.

[Ed Larson]

That is great job producing that show.

[Henry Zebrowski]

They've been crushing it. Genuinely. You've been crushing it.

[Holden McNeely]

Check that show out. I'm so proud of it. The finale is dropping. Will it be out by the time. When does this come out?

[Henry Zebrowski]

Wednesday. So no.

[Holden McNeely]

So, yes, the finale is out literally today.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Great, great. Thursday.

[Holden McNeely]

So check it out. It's coming out and I. I think it is so good. And I think that. Oh, hold Nader. So on Twitch. You want to watch me get that Drunk Fridays bitch?

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah, definitely support that. Yeah, definitely support that. Because it's going well.

[Ed Larson]

If he starts drinking at home, at least he knows where he's gonna fall.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Obviously Jack Holden with the Jackies has been funny. Jack in with all a grumpy dog.

[Holden McNeely]

That goes by Henry's sister.

[Ed Larson]

So you've been doing it a long.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Time and it's really funny. Hell yeah. Than.

[Ed Larson]

And I'm. I'm out.

[Nate]

Get the fuck out of the fuck out of this fucking studio.

[Holden McNeely]

I sweat on the earphones.

[Ed Larson]

He doesn't know. He'll be. He'll be grossed out by you. Goodbye.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Then by holding.

[Ed Larson]

That was way better than I thought it was going to be. That was actually very aggravating that it was like kind of good. That was. I like. I'm like mad that it was fine.

[Henry Zebrowski]

That was fucking. That was hilarious.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, I was expecting that to be like a bigger disaster.

[Henry Zebrowski]

No, no, I. To be honest, I don't know have been better. You know what I mean? Like, I don't know what would have been better is it would if it had been. Is it better for it to just be obnoxious or is it interesting that he's actually kind of good at it?

[Ed Larson]

No notes on the rapping. Lots of notes on being a father.

[Henry Zebrowski]

And himself as a man, his activity as a human being. Well, we're back. Side stories all over again.

[Nate]

Yeah, baby.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I gotta say, the real ss.

[Nate]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah. The SS with a Jew.

[Nate]

Yeah, yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

That's what we do. We SS here at ss. We love Jews. And I laugh when I think about Jews. And I love spending time with Jews, especially Woody Allen, my favorite. Oh, God, can you even imagine? I still think about that. Just hanging out with Steve Bannon and Noam Chomsky all night.

[Ed Larson]

Ugh.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Like what? It's like smelling their bellies. Oh, yeah. Patreon.com Lastpodcast of the the Left. Pay money for this. Go to LP on the Left or All the Socials. All the social. It's out there. Go look at it and then go check out our new YouTube channel, LPN TV. And then you go to we have a foreign report someplace underneath in LPN Romantasy. And who's the Check it out.

[Ed Larson]

Absolutely. We got shows, baby.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah, we do.

[Ed Larson]

January 31st, last podcast on the left is going to be at the Met in Philadelphia. That's going to be a wild ass show. It's a big ass venue. We got plenty of tickets. Come and see this show. It's going to be a fucking blast. We're pulling out some special shit just for that one. February 18th, I'm going to be at the Punchline in San Francisco. Lucky you, me with Grant Gordon and the wonderful Julie Rosen.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Oh, wonderful.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, it's going to be a blast. And then Anchorage, Alaska. Sold out. February 20th, Fairbanks, come see us. That is February 21st. And then guess what? For folks, you wanted more side stories dates, you fucking got them. Tickets go on sale next Wednesday. January 14th. We're going to be March 14th. Urbana, Illinois. Never heard of it. Can't wait for it.

[Henry Zebrowski]

The smaller the weirder the town. My favorite place to do a show.

[Ed Larson]

Akron, like changed me.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Same.

[Ed Larson]

It's like I just. I can't wait for this shit.

[Henry Zebrowski]

All I want to do is go to more places people hate.

[Ed Larson]

Well, guess what? We're going to be In Lexington, Kentucky, April 2026. Rochester, New York on May 30th. And London, Ontario.

[Henry Zebrowski]

We're coming to Canada. First ever. First ever side stories in Canada. We're coming to London, Ontario, June 28th. In any one of these places, please recommend local restaurants. Yes, you know that we, you know, we do that. You know that it's our favorites. You know what we like, you know, when we come out here, especially, like, come out there, we're hitting this year so fucking hard. We're hitting this year so hard, you call us Ike Turner.

[Ed Larson]

Wow.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Whoa, we have to cut that. Whoa, we're going to have to cut that before. I think it's. It's been long.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, it's been long enough. I want my. My favorite part about Ike Turner is when he died. The. That was my favorite part.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

No, but when he died. The New York Post. The. The headline was Ike Turner can't beat death.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah. One of the best.

[Ed Larson]

Phenomenal.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Phenomenal stuff. Pose peak of their entire. Of their entire.

[Ed Larson]

It was up there when Saddam Hussein was hung and they wrote good news. Yeah, that was a good one, too.

[Henry Zebrowski]

You can't be wrong all the time. Well, hell, Satan, everyone, and I'll see you in this bright, wonderful new year of 2026.

[Ed Larson]

Yes, hail Tina Turner. Answer's vagina.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah, Anthony's vagina. You're right.

[Ed Larson]

Let's heal that vagina, please.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Or just get rid of them.

[Ed Larson]

Well, ropes of goo. I'm pulling out.