Side Stories: Only Files w/ Jena Friedman

Summary

Last Podcast On The Left: Side Stories – "Only Files"

Podcast by The Last Podcast Network | Released: March 11, 2026
Main Hosts: Henry Zebrowski (A), Ed Larson (B) | Guest: Jenna Friedman (C)

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Episode Overview

This week's Side Stories dives into three central "cover-ups" and conspiracies making headlines: alleged U.S. government suppression of UFO disclosures, the continuing mystery of Havana Syndrome, and the ever-expanding, deeply disturbing Jeffrey Epstein files. The episode is packed with the hosts' signature irreverence and dark humor, but also welcomes comedian and podcaster Jenna Friedman for a focused, insightful examination of the Epstein saga and the complexities of information warfare, media responsibility, and how these stories intersect with politics and justice.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. From Kissing to Cock and Ball Torture: Icebreakers, Tour Updates & Listener Engagement

Timestamps: 01:14–08:12

• The hosts banter about upcoming live shows, mouth noises, and introduce their irreverent tone, complete with jokes about kissing and "sucking man mouth" as a stand-in for intimate fan interactions.
• CBT Confusion: The hosts discuss the dual meaning of "CBT" — Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and Cock & Ball Torture. Henry shares he was contacted by a dom about the actual physical limits of CBT, learning it takes "110 lbs of pressure to rupture a testicle" and many participants panic before anything extreme happens.
  • Notable Quote:

    "CBT is also short for combined ball torture—cock and ball torture."
    — Henry Zebrowski (04:11)

• They examine the abundance of explicit images on the Wikipedia page for CBT compared to, say, Rosa Parks, and poke fun at the difference.
• Listener engagement is encouraged, particularly around their wanderings into extreme topics and touring plans.

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2. UFO Disclosure and Deep State Coverups

Timestamps: 08:12–18:47

• Disclosure Fatigue: Henry argues that formal "disclosure" from the government about aliens is a dead end, believing all public statements are staged or sanitized for public consumption. Instead, he advocates for "disclosure from the people" via declassified documents and independent research.
  • He discusses the history of the MJ12 (Majestic 12) documents: once touted as proof of a shadowy UFO cabal, largely debunked, but possibly seeded as disinformation to discredit real whistleblowers.
  • A new Substack investigation links supposed MJ12 codes to recently declassified Operation Paperclip and MKUltra documents, hinting at legitimate cross-contamination of real and fake conspiracies.
  • Notable Exchange:

    “So mj12 did exist?”
    — Ed Larson (15:21)
    “If so, it’s just...seeing for the first time maybe that the documents are real. Not that mj12 is real.”
    — Henry Zebrowski (15:25)

• The hosts muse on possible explanations for the recent disappearance of military UFO investigator William McCaslin, favoring (with dark humor) personal tragedy over government abduction.

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3. Havana Syndrome: Weapon or Weirdness?

Timestamps: 22:47–27:47

• The hosts unpack the latest “bombshell” 60 Minutes report on Havana Syndrome — the mysterious ailments reported by diplomats and spies, believed by some to be the result of targeted microwave weapons.

  • The segment details internal CIA cover-ups, the procurement and testing of a Russian-made microwave device that fits in a backpack, and the theory that such weapons are now widespread ("the mafias are just printing them").
  • Notable Quote:

    “We bought this thing...It could fit in a backpack. It gives off no heat. It takes very little power to do.”
    — Henry Zebrowski (25:36)

• The hosts query whether this story is a "limited hangout"—a controlled controversy to distract from more damning news (like the Epstein trial or Middle East tensions).

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4. The Epstein Files and Mass Cover-up (with Jenna Friedman)

Timestamps: 28:04–71:10

Introduction and Media Critique

• Jenna Friedman, cohost of the "Epstein Files Book Club," joins to discuss why she and Elise Hu launched their own show: mainstream outlets and even the leading "Epstein" podcasts are either ignoring the most damning revelations or are algorithmically driven AI productions.
  • Notable Quote:

    “I started listening...this is AI—and that’s the number one Epstein Files podcast right now.”
    — Jenna Friedman (33:21)

• Humorous asides about being “stalked” by Disney ads and army recruitment messages as podcast inserts.

Digital Rights, Censorship & Surveillance

• Jenna shares a sequence of ominous personal and digital incidents:
  • Being interrogated at the border about her political satire career.
  • Multiple Twitter (X) suspensions, unexplained deletions of her account, and shadowy manipulation of her digital identity, possibly at the direct/implied behest of platform insiders or billionaires.
  • The lack of recourse or digital rights for creators and citizens alike.
  • Notable Quotes:

    “Just get offline...they can take all your data. They will take all your data.”
    — Jenna Friedman (49:15)
    “If it’s free, you’re the product.”
    — Ed Larson (49:23)
    “[Twitter/X] can just be erased...because of some billionaire’s whim.”
    — Jenna Friedman (48:59)

Epstein Files—What Matters Most?

• The discussion tackles:

  • The cynicism and complexity of American legal/political structures handling—or ignoring—allegations found in the files, especially those connecting high-level figures (Trump, Wexner) to abuse or cover-up networks.
  • The “Covid-up” (cover-up) being as large a crime as the abuse itself.
  • Media illiteracy, fragmenting public trust, and the proliferation of unreliable and AI-generated sources, making it harder for the public to focus on actual crimes.
  • The importance of a sober, evidence-driven approach when discussing possible criminal acts—neither giving in to conspiratorial free-for-alls nor to numbing complicity.

• Notable Quotes:

  “The COVID up is also a huge crime...like, there are tons of pedophiles everywhere you look.”
  > — Jenna Friedman (52:34) “To be a pedophile, you would need a network. It’s very difficult to operate alone.”
  > — Henry Zebrowski (53:17)

Notable Sub-topics and Memorable Moments

• Melania Trump’s Connection: Jenna claims Melania was “one of Epstein’s girls,” part of a broader pattern of trafficking under the guise of modeling (62:25).
• Trump & Email Evidence: Discussion of the strategic absence of digital records from Trump in the Epstein files (58:52). Bill Clinton claims to have only sent two emails, both on benign political occasions (60:22).
• Media Dysfunction:
  • Jenna and hosts lament the collapse of local, independent journalism, the risky dominance of influencers like Rogan/Schulz, and the “information overload” that can even trick seasoned readers into following AI hoaxes (67:16–68:20).
• Impunity & Accountability: They repeatedly circle back to the pessimism of actual criminal accountability for the powerful, seeing “Father Time” as more likely to take down Trump and other elites than the legal system (69:29).
• Jokes and Moments:
  • Running gag about Epstein loving The Lion King musical as a seduction technique.
  • Satirical questions about “Charlie Kirk Remembrance Day” and “what is a woman?” to lampoon right-wing media personalities and culture wars.

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5. Listener Emails: Juvenile Justice and Growing Up with Violence

Timestamps: 73:50–81:27

• Debate over whether 11-year-olds who commit murder should be tried as adults; Henry presents email clarifying that, in states like Pennsylvania, such cases start in adult court but typically end up with long-term juvenile placement (75:16).
• Ed shares anecdotes about childhood violence and briefly jokes about appropriate disciplinary measures, ultimately admitting the complexity and sadness of youthful crime and broken family structures.

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6. Wrap-Up: Announcements, Housekeeping, and Closing Banter

Timestamps: 81:27–End

• Promotion for the new Last Comic Book on the Left (volume four at Z2Comics.com).
• Announcements on Mystic Museum live events, upcoming tours, and the Crime Wave at Sea cruise.
• Shoutout to new research assistant Pat Barker.
• The show closes with characteristically dark, absurd humor, saluting the late Tommy Takarlo of Boston.

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Most Memorable Quotes & Moments:

• “It takes 110lbs of pressure to rupture a testicle.” (Henry Zebrowski, 04:11)
• “MJ12 did exist?...Not that MJ12 is real. That the documents might be real.” (Henry & Ed, 15:21–15:25)
• “We bought this thing...backpack, gives off no heat. It takes very little power to do.” (Henry, 25:36)
• “I went into the files myself. What I saw was so insane. Is anyone talking about this?...This is AI—and that's the number one Epstein Files podcast right now.” (Jenna Friedman, 33:21)
• “Just get offline. Like, you have no rights. They can take all your data. They will take all your data.” (Jenna, 49:15)
• “If it’s free, you’re the product.” (Ed, 49:23)
• “To be a pedophile, you would need a network. It's very difficult to operate alone.” (Henry, 53:17)
• “Father Time...I think Father Time is the only thing that, that can really come into play here.” (Henry, 69:29)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

| Segment | Start | End | |-------------------------------------------------------|----------|----------| | Show intro, Live shows, CBT/wikipedia joke | 01:14 | 08:12 | | UFO disclosure, MJ12, Operation Paperclip | 08:12 | 18:47 | | Havana Syndrome, Microwave weapons, 60 Minutes report | 22:47 | 27:47 | | Epstein Files: intro & Jenna Friedman interview | 28:04 | 71:10 | | Listener Emails: Juvenile justice/sentencing debate | 73:50 | 81:27 | | Live events promo and closing banter | 81:27 | End |

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Tone & Language

• True to “Last Podcast On The Left,” the episode is an unfiltered mix of comedy, dark irony, and serious critique of American institutions, with gallows humor and absurdist tangents to leaven the morbid subject matter.
• Jenna Friedman matches the hosts’ wit while steering the conversation toward responsible journalism and the perils of digital information warfare.

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Summary Takeaways

“Only Files” is both a cautionary tale about media literacy and a meta-commentary on modern conspiracy culture—a plea to stay skeptical, dig for truth, and not let either the “disruptors” or the comfortable become gatekeepers of justice. Underneath the jokes, the message is clear: institutional rot and elite impunity only thrive when we let information become noise, or when we accept accountability as a lost cause.

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Recommended for:
Anyone interested in true crime, government cover-ups, digital rights, and dark political humor, especially fans tracking ongoing stories in American conspiracy and the Epstein files.

Transcript

[A]

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[B]

This is the last on the left side story.

[A]

That's when the cannibalism started. Side stories, yes. I don't know why, but I'm dying to try. I want to kiss the man.

[C]

Whoa, whoa.

[A]

Love to kiss the man. Oh, we were recording. Oh, great.

[B]

Kiss the man.

[A]

I love to kiss the man.

[B]

You would. You love kissing men. And I know it. Because we're on the road this weekend. Indianapolis and Urbana, Illinois. No, I don't like kissing men in Urbana.

[A]

I don't want to kiss men in Urbana. Unless, of course, you bought the VIP ticket.

[B]

Yeah, and then we're going to change Urbana's name to Irmanna because we're going to be sucking tongues off of the dudes in your city.

[A]

This is a great intro. I'm a suck a tongue. I'm a suck a tongue again. But you have to buy a ticket to Side Stories live.

[B]

We have about 50 tickets left left, apparently. So let's get those sold. Let's have some fun, and let's suck some goddamn man. Yeah, we're gonna suck some mad math.

[A]

And we're here sucking man mouth every week here on Side Stories. I'm your host, Henry Zabrowski. I'm sitting here with the filled with man mouth Ed Larson.

[B]

I don't like it.

[A]

We're already gonna get complete. We've already gotten complaints about the mouth noises. Your noises of your view. Eating mouth with your mouth.

[B]

Yeah, the whole show is mouth noises. Technically, the show doesn't exist without mouth noises.

[A]

What is talking about mouth noises?

[B]

Exactly. By the way, Big news today and at the old Larson Rosing house. Yes, our boys losing his balls today. Ernie's getting clipped.

[A]

Good relu.

[B]

He's done.

[A]

I'm glad. Cut his balls. Already happened by this point, champs getting his balls removed. To everybody, that means not a single man in this room a testicle.

[B]

That's right.

[A]

And it's really nice.

[B]

That's right, man. I swallowed mine years ago.

[A]

Hey, got to anything to cut down on some of the heat, my friend. But you know who doesn't have to worry about getting rid of their balls? I did want to do a bit of a follow up because I asked a question to the audience about ball torture.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Because of this story. We were talking about people that get their balls.

[B]

Two weeks ago we talked.

[A]

I believe this. And I never got to it because I got a dom that reached out and said. Because I also didn't know, because I was talking about cbt, which is cognitive behavioral therapy that I go through. And then I saw this email that was like, cbt. And I was like, oh, what's this gonna be about? And then I clicked on it and it was all about how much kicking and tugging balls can take. And then I realized, oh, CBT is also short for combined ball torture. Cock and ball torture.

[B]

Cock and ball torture, yeah.

[A]

So you should tell your therapist that he's gonna. Oh, yeah. You don't think that's my opener? You don't think. That's not what I'm leading with hardcore. How many cocks and balls have been through here today? It's funny that on Wikipedia there are like. Make sure you want to click on the right cbc. Oh, they're different. They're different. But basically this dom came out and said that they did research into how much you can torture somebody's balls, and you can. Apparently it takes 110lbs of pressure to rupture a testicle. And a lot of times the girls either pull back or, like, whenever the dom's going to do it. Thank you. Thank you, Rob. The Wikipedia for cock and ball torture does not cut back. I do.

[B]

It is bizarre. I have never seen genitals on Wikipedia other than in this room. In this room, I've seen genitals on Wikipedia constantly. It's like, to me, in this room, Wikipedia's all genitals.

[A]

This is like. We're now looking at the Wikipedia entry for the humbler, which is a BDSM physical restraint device, a ball bondage toy used to restrict the movements of the submissive partner. Oh, God, just get it off. Of here.

[B]

I'll give it to Chalamet. He needs a little humbling.

[A]

He knows. He knows. I'm just looking through that guy's butthole like it's a fucking telescope. I. Let's take this back.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

The dumb.

[B]

I'm blown away by all those options of photos.

[A]

It really is this. Wow.

[B]

I think one would have done the trick.

[A]

There is. We were talking about Rosa Parks before the show. There's one. There's literally one picture of Rosa Parks on her Wikipedia page. There is. I'm looking at it. Four tortured balls and dicks in a mosaic at the top of the article.

[B]

Yeah. I will say that that one is as big bus seat.

[A]

I don't need any of this. I don't need any of this. So. But come back to it. So the Dom was saying is the problem is, is that we were talking about like, why didn't guys get their balls destroyed every single time they do one of these videos? And largely she was saying it just takes a lot more strength than you think to kick at that level of force in order to destroy the balls. But then largely I had other Dom say, which I thought is interesting, is that these guys talk a big game a lot and they like the lead up and the talking about. But then more often than not, once they get to the advanced cbt, that's when the guys go, safer. Safer saver. No, no, no. I'm good, I'm good, I'm good.

[B]

Oh, it's like right before a drunk guy gets the kicked out of him. Yeah.

[A]

You're like, okay, you know what this is?

[B]

You're a.

[A]

You're a. You know, you can't even fight.

[B]

You're a.

[A]

You can't feel like, why are you fighting a guy? Why are you fighting that guy? I. I do think it's like that, that they get. They get really deep into it and then they just can't. They're not ready for it.

[B]

CBT.

[A]

But 300 bucks an hour for my CBT. But I could at least I could sit afterwards.

[B]

I'm gonna get it mixed with my THC and this really end my fertility.

[A]

Also, big ups to body glide.

[B]

What's body glide?

[A]

Chub rub.

[B]

Chub rub.

[A]

Fat guys.

[B]

Oh, really?

[A]

It's an anti chafing stick.

[B]

Stick. I want some. That sounds great.

[A]

It's right there. You can get it straight from China.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

China guys. There. We know what it is though, with China. It's not that they got big guys. Slippery guys.

[C]

Oh,

[A]

slippery guys. That's what they like. They really?

[B]

Which in Indianapolis. You can see us at the Slippery new. Will you.

[A]

Will we. Will you. I'm gonna try to get Ed to go with after the show over to the Slippery Noodle. If you are the owner of that establishment, hold us a table. There's a rigatonis in a society. Oh, whoa. You got to go to the slipper. Oh, God. We gotta go.

[B]

I've never been.

[A]

That's where the guy tried to show me his penis. Oh, he gave me his Slippery Noodle.

[B]

That is funny that it happened at the Slippery Noodle.

[A]

Oh, yeah. All right, big cover ups to talk about today.

[B]

Are you. We're going to start with aliens.

[A]

I want to talk a little bit about this story is that I. I was down on disclosure a couple of weeks ago.

[B]

You hate it.

[A]

Well, it's because I believe truthfully that we're past the point of needing government disclosure. I think that that's silly. I think that that's why I'm anti it. I know before I was kind of bummed about aliens and Trump and all that kind of stuff. Honestly. What I'm more. I'm not bummed. I'm more just saying, well, we don't need disclosure.

[B]

I mean, ever since the drones like 15 months ago, like, I've lost interest personally.

[A]

Well, it's because the problem is, is that we're going to get no answers. Yeah, any answer that they give you is going to be a fake answer. There is no way they're going to give you a real answer. It's not going to happen. So whatever it is he says in a speech is going to be completely fake.

[B]

Also, he just doesn't understand words.

[A]

Anything. No. And the guys around him, I was just saying. So that big. You remember there was that all the hullabaloo for the. Oh, disclosures coming, Disclosures coming. And then nothing. Yeah, the is because there was a massive pushback from the generals that are supposed to be doing the disclosing again. We're heading into the world where their evangelical religious beliefs will not let them talk about aliens because to them it'd be a demon.

[B]

Oh.

[A]

And that if it ought to be a demon, that the only thing that they know is a demon. And if it was not a demon, oh, they would shoot it. Then God would show them directly, but not then it was to be a demon.

[B]

Oh, so there's no. They don't believe in sky demons.

[A]

Well, no, they. Oh, they utterly believe in sky demons. That's why they're afraid of them. They're literally so Afraid of the aliens that they don't want to talk about them because they think they're, they think that they're Jesus's enemies.

[B]

Is anyone tried to like jimmy the zipper in the back of Stephen Miller's head and see what happens.

[A]

I would love to get a hold of that zipper. And I got a couple of ideas

[C]

for that fucking zipper.

[A]

I did. I saw the news tossing around the words, what was it? Interdimensional beings.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

They have no idea. So the Pentagon is completely pulled back. They're just pulled back. They don't want to deal with it because they think it's icky. It is much how like guys didn't want to fully investigate homophobe like crimes inside of the homosexual scenes the 1970s because they thought it was icky. It's like the same thing. They literally don't want to be involved in it because they think that they're going to get demon stink on them. But there is real disclosure actually happening. Okay, so I got this, this is, this is where the disclosure should be. It is coming from the people. And this thing is extremely interesting. Doesn't quite. I think. Okay, I'm gonna try to explain this in a way that makes sense.

[B]

Please. Because I need it.

[A]

So in the 1980s, our egg shaped purveyor of truth, Stanton Friedman was a part of mufon. He was a part of all these ufologists that was trying to bring an era of large fupa rationality to UFOs. He was a nuts and bolts guy. He only believed in nuts and bolts aspect that they are actual physical crafts that come from another part of the galaxy. And firmly believed that there was a US government cover up about them trying to retroactively figure out technology from these devices. And they were lying to the people. And Stanton Friedman was the champion of a release of a series of what were supposed to be top secret documents labeled MJ12. The idea is that there was a group, so it's called. The 12 was a group of people that had what was called majestic clearance which was the tippity tippity tippity top, top secret clearance that you could have. Okay, right this again, we don't know if it's real or not. It was a hazy thing. And this group of 12 wrote this essentially report to the government explaining all of the various ramifications of UFOs, the things inside of them, what it would be like to retrofit their, their, their technology and how do we handle it socially. Like they had like a whole breakdown. All this stuff Came out in the 80s. It has largely been debunked.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Most people believe at this point that they were faked. Material that was put out in. In the 80s version of the intranet, like the old Internet. Like when it was before, it was just like in like boards. That was like a game that was played. And then it came out. Stanton Friedman tried to make a big deal about it. Ruined his life.

[C]

All.

[A]

All of it. He wrote a bunch of books about it.

[B]

He didn't ruin his life. He started mufon.

[A]

He died in an airport. Anybody that dies in an airport, that's sad.

[B]

Carrie Fisher died in an airport.

[A]

Sad. I wish she died at home.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

So this guy came out. This guy wrote a substack. Everybody would love sub sack. But this is interesting. Sky started like, re looking at the MJ12 documents, I guess, literally, just to waste his time.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And you discover something fascinating.

[B]

It was actually MJ13.

[A]

No, that's just. That's a code name.

[B]

It's funny you went there because I was thinking cartels. Oh, wow.

[A]

Oh, interesting. Yeah. It's our brain 13 also.

[B]

He knows that number's too big for him.

[A]

Two wolves. Two wolves inside of you. So the Majestic Swells, he noticed that. So this guy was going with stuff, and they said that they had this sort of like, stamp on it. And he noticed each one had a stamp on it with a number. 8, 3, 4, 0, 2, 1. It was like, ah, whatever. What is this? So he decided to just run that through the CIA FOIA portal.

[B]

And then Jenny picked up.

[A]

Yeah, that's a problem. You missed the last number. Yeah, now he's gonna jerk off to the sound of the tone. All right, so this guy sounds like, oh, it's not just some random number. It's actually connected to something.

[B]

Is it a star?

[A]

It's connected to 345 pages of released Paperclip intelligence documents.

[B]

Okay. Have you read those,

[A]

fucker? No. Right. These were just classified. So these were declassified, these documents. So the. All of the. The Operation Paperclip, MKUltra shit like MK Ultra. We got to remember, we don't know that MK Ultra until Clinton was president, okay? He was the one that released a bunch of. Anything that was available. He released that.

[B]

I had no idea.

[A]

Yes. So that's new. Essentially, these documents from Operation Paperclip when we whitewashed all this stuff with the Nazis.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Didn't actually become declassified until 2022.

[B]

Hold on. So we didn't know about Werner Von. Von Braun until 2022.

[A]

I'm just saying a new batch came out.

[C]

Oh, okay.

[A]

Right with it. So it's still coming out. And so what this person understood is that they were all sort of connected to the same batch, this extremely important batch. Now they see here. So not is a. They realize that you could look at. If you look at the paperwork, it is in fact CIA Jioa paperclip. It's its document that has an MJ12 written on it.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

That is in the operation paperclip stuff. So that means whatever's in the quote unquote fake documentary and all these fake documents are actually in a real document. The same stamps are on a bunch of real documents.

[B]

So mj12 did exist.

[A]

If so it's just we're seeing for the very first time maybe that the documents are real. Not that mj12 is real. That the documents might be real. And what that might even mean, which is we might be looking at a disinfo campaign that is as old as the entire conspiracy theory itself. Right? What if we are in a world where that was faked back then and it was put into all of this stuff as a part of a disinformation campaign to make people that got access to this look silly and stupid?

[B]

And when was MJ12? Was that like back in like 40s, 50s?

[A]

40s and 50s.

[B]

So this is like after World War II, after Mussolini sold us the. This is Roswell.

[A]

This is Roswell time. Or after Roswell. And after all of that. So this would be. Because I believe this article. The technically, the things came. It's just.

[B]

I'm starting to remember some of this stuff, right?

[A]

It started to sink in. You just lost like one like bass player that was in the. Like that was on osmium. You know what I mean? You just lost one. But, dude, like, there was another. Another one. So there was another number. A 1762.1 was another one that they looked up and it popped up on another document. That's legit.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

We are. I'm just saying that it's fascinating and they are. It. It's. It seems to be right now at the very top it says repeat. There was like one document that has approved for release that didn't come out until 20 years later. And the big thing on it, it says CIA UFOs literally, dude, CIA UFOs on this thing. That's like. That's what this document's about.

[B]

That's fun. It's.

[A]

It's just.

[B]

And that's like on a post it. They put on the front of it yes, yes.

[A]

So this is the, this is the disclosure.

[B]

I know, but we can't sit here and like believe a post it note.

[A]

It's on the fire. So they scanned it with it, right? Yeah. So this comes from the FOIA request.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So this comes from the CIA like this. It was, it was scanned like this.

[B]

It says like official record copy below it.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Cool.

[A]

So it's one of those weird things that's actually disclosure, buddy. So maybe, maybe does this not to

[B]

throw you off because I know you're on this and it's fucking awesome. Does this have anything to do with William McCaslin who went missing?

[A]

This guy, the UFO general. That was good. The guy was looking at all the UFOs who went missing. Yeah, I don't, I don't know. I also think that this guy went missing. I think he very well could have just committed suicide.

[B]

But wouldn't they have found him by now?

[A]

Dudes are fucking awesome, man. Dudes hide all the time. If a father wants to go away, they do it all the time, man. He'll go out there, he'll blow his brains out by a fucking cliff and fall backwards. He knows what to do.

[B]

I mean, if they were going to, if the government was going to chip anybody, they would have chip this, right?

[A]

Absolutely. Yeah. Wendy's got a chip. Yeah, he should have a chip. I, I think that, you know what if the guy just as super sad as we all are that, that Trump's invaded his own territory and he's sad and he blew his brains out because it ruined his life work.

[B]

Interesting.

[A]

I can see that.

[B]

It was said that he has more sensitive secrets about the United States in his head than anyone else.

[A]

Not no more.

[B]

So you really believe he's just dead?

[A]

I think you think he ran.

[B]

You think he like would have like.

[A]

You don't think affected to Russia or some. You know what's funny? I think it's the same thing that when you talk about with Epstein. Obviously I think about a little bit differently now, but I think that the, let's say those secrets weigh heavily on a person. Yeah, I think you could obviously have you. I think that it would make a lot of sense that you might feel quite a bit of pressure. Then why do you tell everyone right

[B]

before you off yourself?

[A]

Because you have the pride of being a, a, a loyal patriot that took his secrets to the grave. Yeah, I feel like that's what it is. It's like the, the Royal Patriots. Don't talk. Real patriots are fully brainwashed, you know, like that's why they're always like, where's the whistleblowers connected?

[B]

Because apparently he was working with fragments from Roswell maybe.

[A]

Or he was told there were fragments from Roswell.

[B]

He was in Ohio.

[A]

It's a long way from New Mexico. Yeah, but it's also maybe he was told they were maybe an ultra big old lie. Maybe again, maybe it's hard. May he got. Who knows? We don't know yet. Maybe he got diagnosed of diagnosis of being extremely sick. That's quite possible. Like how many times guys do that? They were trying to do that with Hunter S. Thompson. They were trying to reopen his case and stuff. And it's like the wrote that he would not live anymore if he couldn't walk anymore. The second he couldn't walk anymore, he committed suicide.

[B]

Yeah, there it is.

[A]

Dudes suck, right? Dudes get sad and instead of doing something about it and blow their brains out. Okay. That's what guys do.

[B]

What's it gonna take for you to do it?

[C]

Well,

[A]

a new Josh Gad Chris Farley movie might be coming out soon. Oh, no, I'm not talking about me. I'm just talking about imagining that trying to create, recreate the comedy of Chris Farley in today's movie.

[B]

I'd be down to watch him fall through a bunch of tables.

[A]

It's not him. It's somebody else. He got somebody else to do it. It's not gonna be good.

[B]

Oh, he's not in it.

[C]

No.

[B]

Oh, he's only bad.

[A]

He just. He wrote it. He wrote it worse.

[B]

Oh, well, he also wrote Spaceballs too. Oh, God. And he's gonna be John Candy's son. He's gonna be.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

I'm gonna be MOG too.

[A]

Wow. I'm just excited about that as I've ever been. Wow. That's some wow. I'm so. Wow, Ed. You're right. I'm so much more excited about that. Last podcast on the left is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Do you ever find yourself playing the budgeting game? Well, with the name your price tool from Progressive, you can find options that fit your budget and potentially lower your bills. Try [e-mail], progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates. Price and coverage match limited by state law. Not available in all states.

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[A]

See that's not the only cover up that's in the news.

[B]

Oh yeah, what's going on with the other one?

[A]

So say what you will, about 60 minutes, right.

[B]

It's only an hour 58 minutes too long.

[A]

So I they have done a bombshell report about the Havana Syndrome.

[B]

You know people, they've done multiple.

[A]

Yes but this last one is really fucking. It's a big old one. They had a CIA whistleblower come in and basically reveal that they more than believe that there is an active CIA cover up about the Havana Syndrome. For those of you that don't know or remember, it all started around 2016. The reason why it's called the Havana Syndrome was because a group of diplomats, US diplomats and spies were in a hotel in the in Havana and they all experienced what they believe this sort of this attack of a weapon that said that felt like an ice pick was going in their ear, that they couldn't think. Their ears would get all popped. There was. Some of them would feel like a clamp was going on the back of their neck.

[B]

They didn't think it was like tricyclonosis after some bad pork or something.

[A]

I mean it just, it was directed and it happened really quickly. Right. And then afterwards they found that whatever it happened had broken or shattered the little bones around inside of their ears and all this kind of stuff all around this area for a while. This has now been happening ever since for the last decade US spies and diplomats have been complaining about the same thing, same series of, of symptoms. Yeah. And kind of the, all of the circumstances around it.

[B]

It's a permanent too. Right.

[A]

They have, some of them have permanent damage. It's kind of like long Covid in a way where they then came out, the CIA just said It's a natural phenomenon. It's what they called. Which I thought was really interesting. They called it an ahi, which is an anomalous health incident. So what they'll do is they pay you, that you get your insurance, your work insurance. But they still would not admit that it was like an attack because the CIA decided that there's no way they could just make a weapon that does this thing and not. We wouldn't know about it. Essentially, the CIA said that in order for them to make this microwave weapon.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

It would have to be the size of a tractor trailer, and we'd know it everywhere. It would take so much power, it would make all this noise, blah, blah, blah.

[B]

Do we have any secret organizations inside of America that would keep a secret from the CIA, Eddie?

[A]

No, but. No. So no. So what happened is. Is that. So the DOD in 2024. I find this. This is very interesting. Biden's White House specifically did not believe in the CIA reports, so they went looking for it themselves. They ended up finding a guy within the DOD to go buy this microwave weapon off of a Russian Mafioso.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

That could fit in the backpack. So they bought this thing that. It could fit in a backpack. It does it. It is almost. It gives off no heat. It takes very little power to do. It's some kind of thing that they figured out. The Russians have been working on this for a long time. We bought it it. We started testing it. We tested on cows, and we're killing cows and stuff with it. And basically they were ready to come out with all this information. And this was all running up until the election. And then once the election happened, it just kind of went on the wastebasket. Right. Like once they just said it and they just left it alone. And what they're basically saying is not only are they easy to make, but they're almost. Was imperceptible. And now they're in the. Now the mafias are just printing them, which means they're no longer secret technology.

[B]

Everyone could have them.

[A]

Now they're out.

[B]

So is this what we used in Venezuela or is this what we've been using against protesters?

[A]

I have no idea. I don't know. But we know that Trump called it the discombobulator, whatever it was.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And we do know that whole word out. I think that he couldn't say the real word. He couldn't say the real word. He. Yeah, we got the discombobulator. We've got. And. But those are. There are sound weapons. This is not a Sound weapon.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

This is a microwave weapon. It cooks your brain crazy. Yeah. So it's one of those that we just got sitting around there. And 60 Minutes allowed this out. And I believe this is a bit of a limited. What we call in the intelligence services, a limited hangout in which they are going to give us this little fun controversy and this thing to do in order for us to talk about anything but the Epstein trial and the invasion of Iran, all of it. Now, this is the new distraction. So it's a cool distraction. It's a good. So I like this one because we

[B]

can't Forget CBS runs 60 minutes and they're, you know, they're Trump's pocket. They're in Trump's pocket. They got. They took out a fucking story about Venezuela recently.

[A]

Yeah, there are. They are. So the reason why we're getting this story is because this is an easier controversy for them to handle. The CIA has decided because they've always been the bad guys. Right. They're always the fall guys. CIA is like, let us take the heat.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And that's it. No musk, no fuss. No one's talking about Epstein anymore. Except they are.

[B]

Yes, very much so.

[A]

Very, very much are. As a matter of fact, we are about to talk about it for the next 40 minutes.

[B]

Yeah. I hope you like it fucking better you. They will. They. People have been loving the Epstein stuff.

[A]

We've brought an expert on. Yes.

[B]

Because for. I need this more than you need this. You're entrenched. You're. To me, you're an expert as well. But this next person is really, who kind of like, Like, I gotta say, she helps me through every crisis this country goes through. I look. I look to her for leadership.

[A]

She is one of the smartest voices in comedy. Truly brilliant. Written for Sasha Baron Cohen. Had her own show on Adult Swim. Yeah. So this is our bit of. We're doing a bit of an update.

[B]

That's right. There's a new podcast out called the Epstein Files Book Club. It's hosted by Jenna Friedman and Elise Hu. Please welcome Jenna Friedman.

[C]

It's an island adventure.

[A]

It's an island adventure.

[C]

Heck, yeah. It's Jeffrey time. It is funny that Whitney's. Whitney was his favorite.

[A]

His only favorite.

[C]

I know. I'm like. That just means you look young. Are we rolling? Are we rolling? Can we. That can. That can be like the promo for the episode.

[A]

Yeah, absolutely. We can drop that right in. It is a pleasure to have this one of the 500 murderers in this country. That's what you Are one of the 500 killers. You belong in that room in the mothership. I don't care what anybody says.

[C]

Oh, I'll do the mothership.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

I mean, Covid's over.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

I mean, it's.

[A]

But man, oh, man, this lady know what going on.

[B]

That's right. We're joined by Jenna Friedman, co host of the Epstein Files Book club. I'm very excited. I love your show that you do with Elise, Hugh. It's unbelievable. I've listened to every episode. I caught up on the flight home yesterday.

[C]

Thank you.

[B]

You are a guiding light for a lot of us, and I appreciate you so much.

[A]

Also, your show in Adult Swim was wonderful.

[C]

Thank you. That was my. That was my dream show. Soft focus.

[A]

God, it was so fucking good. Do you still think about the Cannibal Cop?

[C]

Never. No. I might have blocked him. I'd done a couple interviews. Like, there was one I did with Ken Kratz.

[A]

Yes.

[C]

The Making a Murderer Da. And he would, like, text me every so often. I don't even want to talk about him because I don't want to wake up his spirit.

[B]

Well, I was listening to your show on the way here, and I gotta say, Walt Disney World ad right in the middle of it.

[C]

Really?

[B]

I thought it was a sketch on your show because it was a bunch of children going down rides, stuff like that.

[C]

Thank you for bringing it up. Okay, so I've never done a podcast. There was a moment, I remember in 2009, I had done the Glasgow Comedy Festival. Mark Maron was there. He had just started his podcast. And he was like, do you want to come up to my hotel room and record an episode of my podcast? And I was like, yeah, right, your hotel room. To record your podcast. And I didn't. He did have me on recently. Whatever. And I. And then the next day announced that he was shutting down his podcast. Sorry. Sorry about it.

[A]

Honestly, it's fine. It's fine. It works.

[C]

I know he's got a really big fan base for us. Okay. Anyway, so. But I. I've not done a podcast. And then when the second batch of files dropped, the only person talking about it was Jake Tapper. I'm no longer on Twitter because it's a whole story, but I had an account that got erased twice.

[B]

I have it right here in my notes.

[C]

Well. Cause Twitter used to be. Before Elon took it over, it was like the water cooler where you got your news. When I was living in New York, if I heard a sound, I'd be like, what's that? And Twitter would tell me, because everybody was on it. It was like a public good. And so I'm not as clued into the news in the way that I was or the public discourse around the news. And then Tapper posted something. Jake, whatever. We're, like, friends. But he posted, I think, pieces that were in the files that the DOJ have taken off out of the files. But they were. The allegations were so damning, and some of them were not credible. And the FBI wrote not credible next to some of them, but some of them were. And I just, like, immediately posted on social media, something to the effect of, like, we're all just, like, there are allegations of Trump raping kids, and we're all just gonna, like, ignore that.

[A]

Ted. Louis. That there's videos of it.

[C]

Yeah, I mean, I. I'm trying to be so careful to not say I don't. Like, if I don't. I know that there are allegations, and then the DOJ have removed them. And I also remember there are two different ones. There's this Katie Johnson, who I remember in 2016, she was gonna do a press conference. Katie Johnson's a pseudonym. And then she got spooked and didn't. But her allegations against Trump were very. And so, anyway, I, like, I went into the files myself. What I saw was so insane. I was like, is anyone talking about this on a podcast? No one was. There's this one Epstein Files podcast. I started listening to it. I'm like, this is AI and that's the number one Epstein Files podcast right now, by the way.

[A]

And I want to mark that it is true. The number one podcast, it's called, like, the Epstein Files Podcast or something. It is just AI Garbage.

[C]

It's just AI. And then there's this other one, like, called Insidious about Epstein that I was listening to, and it actually corroborated now that I've been, like, going into the files, and, like, I've learned stuff. Like, I listen to the whole thing, and it. It's pretty accurate. But then the voice changes from, like, a scary man's voice. Well, they're all men's voices. Sorry, guys.

[A]

Well, we're trying to be safe. Trying to make it safe for you

[C]

here, but, like, to a scary Southern man's voice in the same episode. And it's just. So. It's like. I don't know what is AI. It's. It's very disorienting. And so I was just. My friend Elise, who I met at ted, which is a whole other thing. She has Been wanting to do a podcast with me, and I was like, we should just do it on this. And she got it. We got it up and running really quickly. But, like, the ad component, I mean, we're not making any money on this, but it's on a platform where, like, they'll. They'll just put an ad.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

In the middle of it.

[A]

Yes. It's. They embed it. It's like, from there, we've had lots

[B]

of, like, army ads. And, like, we have random stuff gets put in and we have no control over.

[A]

We have to do Whack a Mole. So essentially, you hear ahead of time when someone says they put some nefarious. Either I sad or US Army. It's happened several times. And then you just. You play Whack. Whack a Mole. You call and say, get it out of there.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

So they go. And they reach and lock it, and then they go do it piece by piece.

[C]

There was one at the beginning that was either about a casino or something, and we. I was like, no, let's not do any ads at the beginning. She's like, I can move it to the middle. Disney's pretty. That's pretty nuts.

[B]

That was wild. I was taken aback.

[A]

You should be making money for a Disney ad. You should be making money.

[C]

I think you make like 30, like, every. It's just me, Elise, Hugh, and Sammy Hunio is who edits our podcast. I don't mean to be so tangential, but I want to drop off my toddler at preschool and I. Or, no, pick him up and then he's an aftercare. And I knew all the kids names, and they're not all in his class, but all the names are, you know, they're nuts.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

Astaria and Rillin and a couple Liliths.

[C]

Couple Liliths.

[A]

Lilith is a really advanced name for a little talker, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you mean the ang. Ancient of the Bible?

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So. But I. I, like, knew everybody's names, and then the teacher's like, what's. What are our names? And I. I got them, but it took me a second, and then I felt like such an asshole. Then I got all their names.

[A]

The kids are more important.

[B]

Yeah. Who cares about you?

[C]

But it was like a moment where I was just like, oh, my God. If I didn't rip this name out right away, I'd. You know, so. Sorry.

[A]

Do you do line spin? What?

[B]

Lion's mane.

[A]

Mushroom.

[C]

Oh, lion's mane. Yeah,

[A]

it really does. It helps with some word.

[C]

I mean, I've seen it. I've had. Okay. I was at the flyover festival.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

And in St. Louis, and I went to one of their farmers markets on my time off, and they had alligator meat. But then there was this random man who was growing lion's mane from his basement.

[B]

They're pretty far from alligators as well.

[A]

That's where they grow.

[C]

And I bought the lion's mane, and I, like, took it home two days later, and I sauteed it with butter. And my partner, who I was dating at the time, was like, I'm not eating that. But his bandmate was such a good sport. And he, like, ate it with me like this, like, old lion's mane wrote, like, four songs.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. You had to try.

[C]

And he died.

[B]

Yeah, true.

[A]

Can I honestly ask, like, how is this. Obviously, we talked a little bit before the show. It's like we all. My. My wife is also deeply obsessed. I'm obsessed. I kind of like the fact that we can come together about this, but I am hearing that it does affect. It's affecting people's homes.

[C]

Right? Well, it's the whole thing of the gardener and the rose. You can't have two Epstein files, people.

[A]

Epstein's Epstein.

[C]

Well, like the. Like, pedo. Like the files. Files.

[A]

Yes, yes.

[C]

Files.

[A]

File files.

[B]

Only files. I'm on. I subscribe to his only files.

[C]

Look, the only. Okay, so we started the podcast because I just didn't see p. I. I was reading the files. I'm like, I just. I want to be talking about this with smart people, and I want to. And in a responsible way, because there's so many conspiracy theories, and you can get pulled down by, like. Like, the cannibalism and the jerky and the this and the that. And I'm like, this is what they want. They want us to have information overload. They want us to. To either go turn into, like, left wing. QAnon are fully shut down. There has to be a middle road where you're like, let's. I mean, we're not gonna forget about the ice stuff. There's a lot going on now with the war with Iran.

[A]

But, yeah, just move it to another burner. It's just there. It's on the stove.

[C]

Right. I mean, I think we can, like, walk and chew gum at the same time. Right. Like, I think. And the reason that these have activated me is because I feel like. Like, this is going to be the one thing that takes this administration down either, you know, the Dems sweep in the midterms or something else? I mean, I think we have to, but I think that you can't. I thought that the ICE stuff was bipartisan. Meaning, like, I didn't think anyone could justify having these, like, masked men and Dean Cain terrorizing people in American cities.

[A]

Because Dean Kane, that would frighten me. Like, if I was an illegal immigrant and then Dean Cain showed up with a bulletproof vest and a machine gun, I'd be like, wow, this is really.

[B]

This is very serious. He's faster than a speeding bull.

[A]

Yeah,

[C]

yeah. Well, but, but you know, there's a way that they're spinning that, you know, and they're like our borders, blah, blah, blah. But with this, you cannot, like, it is such a cover up. If Trump is innocent, why are they covering it up? Why are they redacting files that they've released? Why? I mean, the COVID up is so obvious to everyone, including Joe Rogan. So. And then the other.

[A]

It gets through. His is literally expanded skull from hgh. It should, it should start to break through.

[C]

Yeah. So when I say, like, you know, I think it's what's going to take them down. If it doesn't, it's taking all of us down. Like, how do we live in a, in a, you know, work in progress democracy if we can't prosecute pedophiles?

[B]

It didn't take the Catholic Church down.

[A]

Well, Catholic Church, I almost think is even more rich and established in a way that we can't understand because they still have, have God's mandate. The president.

[C]

Well, they're trying to.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

But you know, they don't do. They don't have a doj. You know, they don't have enough. I mean, the Catholic Church is like an international institution that's been around for centuries, but they're breaking laws in America.

[B]

Why aren't we allowed to arrest everyone who does it? Yeah, That's a crazy thing.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Now, I wanted to. Before we get too deep in the weeds on this stuff, there's. You've already crossed like three things I wanted to talk to you about, like, in like three sentences. So. But the first thing I want to talk about with you is, is a lot of mysterious things keep happening to you and I wanted to know about. Like what, how you feel about that. Like, first of all, your Twitter getting erased, this weird Epstein podcast. Someone did a different version of your autobiography and you got stopped at the border when you're coming back to America.

[A]

You're such a nice woman. This is a nice, the way you're

[B]

hearing existence makes me paranoid.

[C]

Okay, okay, okay. The framing is very conspiratorial. They're all separate things, and they're very easy to explain.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Sounds like somebody who's in too deep.

[C]

Stopped at the border. So that was April of last year. I was coming back from ted. I was coming from Vancouver into the US the customs border is on the Vancouver side. So I wasn't. I had my guard down. I was chatty. And he asked me, the US Customs agent asked, you know, what were you doing here? I said I was doing comedy. And it was unpaid because it was ted. I had a situation at the border over a decade ago where I didn't realize that I needed to. It was a whole thing. So I wanted to make sure, like, I was doing comedy. It was unpaid because it's ted. That's a whole separate issue. He said, are you. You're a comedian. What do you joke about? I hesitated, and then he asked, do you make fun of politicians? I said, no.

[A]

Yeah, because.

[B]

Yeah, you're trying to get home.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

But it's also not the only thing that you do.

[C]

I know. Also, like, is it making fun of them to state facts? You know, like, they're.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Anyway, I didn't. I. When I posted about it, I didn't. I didn't say that. I said no because I was nervous about, you know, I just said, be careful. Be careful around customs. I got through. Whatever.

[A]

Oh, no, because we were going into Canada the next week, too. We're all like, home. It's like I'm all over everything telling.

[C]

Right.

[A]

Saying, like, I want to burn the White House down. I'm very all over the place.

[C]

I don't say that.

[A]

You know, it's because you're smart.

[B]

Smart.

[C]

But yeah.

[B]

Thank you for coming on the show.

[A]

Thank you again. It just means me you might have problems now, I guess.

[C]

Well, okay, so that happened. And what was so interesting, I. When I. When after it happened, because I remember, like, I got through and then I was in a. And there was a guy in the bookshop. Like, I was, like, shopping for a present for my toddler. And I wanted to be like, I just was asked this at the border, and then I just didn't say anything. Cause I'm like, I just gotta get home and be safe. And, you know, and I. Then when I got home, a friend of mine works for Adam Schiff, and I said, hey, this just happened. And he sent me a meme that I had posted maybe like the previous day or around, like, a couple days Prior that I could show it to you. It says stop, stop at the borders. Like, like drugs, weapons, something else and ideas. And then. And it was in Politico. They posted this on social media and then they took it down because it obviously freaked people out.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

But I believe that he had gotten that memo and was just following orders. And so that's why that line of questioning happened. And I wasn't gonna be like, yeah, I do, I do joke about politicians free speech.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like President Trump come at me.

[C]

Random man without a body cam in a foreign. You know, I'm just. I have self preservation.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

So that happened. Okay. And then I talked about it because I couldn't not. And he. The funny thing is it's like he asked me that question and I mean it became like fodder for like the opening of my show. I do a whole bit about it now. Yeah.

[A]

The ultimate, sweetest revenge.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I did a New Yorker piece making fun of custom. So like, I just. It became like a, it became like a gift, you know. And so that was one thing, the Twitter thing, uh, that is, that is messed up. But I basically, I never go on Twitter post Elon. But then I went on because I wanted to see what people on Twitter were thinking about the Epstein files. And so. And then once you're there, you're like, I gotta make an Elon jokes. I joked about how like I, I. The files felt real just because of how much even the pedophiles didn't want to hang with Elon. Like that just felt like a real.

[A]

Oh yeah.

[C]

You know, that was one of the

[A]

favorite parts of the whole thing was that everybody else was like demure about the is demure. And he was just like, when am I coming to the island?

[B]

It is everyone's favorite part.

[C]

And they're like, I don't know. No. No amount of money. It's like the most money hungry craven people are still like, your face is too fat.

[A]

You harsh.

[C]

You harsh. The vibe on pedophile island, man. With more money than all of us combined. So I tweeted about that. And then the next day I couldn't get into my account and I tried my password. I was like, Elon sucks. 2026 was my password and it wasn't working. And I was like, maybe this is just something's up.

[B]

Whatever sucks with an X.

[C]

No, I spelled it correctly.

[A]

Like a real journalist.

[C]

Yeah. And then I was like, maybe it was Elon sucks 2025. I'll check tomorrow. And when I went back to check, like, even my. I. I actually went, x, Jenna Friedman. Jenna with one N. I have to specify, because there is a Jenna with two N's in the file. Anyway, I'll get back to that later. But I had to. And. And it said, account does not exist. And then I felt like Sandra Bullock in the Net.

[A]

Hey, babe, Dennis Miller shows up.

[C]

Yeah. And so then. But then somebody. I post about it. Somebody's like, no, there's this other account, like Kato AI that has all your tweets on. I was like, okay. And then. And then I was able to put up another account with my name, because whoever hacked it left my domain name, which is weird. So I started a new account, Jenna Friedman. And then I posted. And then a couple people were like, jenna got silenced. Follow her. And I was like, hi. And then I made another joke about Elon.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

And then that account disappeared and became my name with an underscore after it. Like, somehow some programmer actually changed my URL, so that was my account. But then I. It, like, deleted it. And then now my account that has my name is actually restored.

[B]

So it's weird.

[C]

So it's like something happened. It's actually hard to explain because it's like, not just a hacker. Usually a hacker just comes in, takes your profile, and, like, posts like, shitty phishing links.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[C]

But this was like, multiple levels of fuckery that I. That I'm like, how do you do this if you're not internally in the company?

[A]

I think one of the things that haunts me most about the Epstein files is that it shows that these guys, men that run the world and these institutions, seem to really have a massive amount of time on their hands. Like, I thought these guys were all super busy. How do they. How could they pay attention to you? How could that mean Wild that went onto his desk the most, the richest man in the world, and he said, get rid of her Twitter account.

[C]

Like, yeah, they have, like, 30 employees compared to their social media sites. So someone had to. To individually feels like that.

[A]

Click your account, do the thing. Like, not to be anything. We're just comedians, like, on the very base of us. Yes, we're trying to do work, but this idea of, like, every time a billionaire tells a comedian to go fuck himself, it makes the comedian a lot of money, does good stuff for the comedians.

[C]

But also, I mean, I reached out to Twitter right after, and I was like, hey, can you help me with this? And the response is so swiftly, like, no, I have it saved. It was just like, no. How we can't prove that you're, you know. And I'm like, what? Like, yes, you can. I have an id. I have. You know, and then, I mean, people are like, well, why would you even give any money to Elon? I never gave money to Elon. That's why I didn't have two factor authentication if I did get hacked. But also, it's like, we're comedians. Like, we have. This is public record. We have to be on here. People are having conversations. Politicians are making statements on here. Thomas Massie just made a statement on X that I couldn't see. I had to find it somewhere else about the files. So it's like I'm trying to report on what's happening and it's just crazy that you can see. And I know it's like naive, but in 2009, I made a pact with Twitter, Jack Dorsey, where I gave them my intellectual property, which is a lot of dumb jokes. I had communications via dm, and in a second, because of some billionaire's whim, all that can be erased. You have no recourse. We have no rights digitally or really in reality too. I mean, it's funny to talk about digital rights when you're looking at like, like other shit that we don't ever. I mean, like, with all the ICE shit, this is so small potatoes. But I do think for people listening and just younger generations, we have to assume that like, like, just get offline. Like, you have no rights. They can take all your data. They will take all your data.

[A]

Those little, you know, you don't own anything on the Internet.

[C]

You don't own anything on the Internet. They're spying on you. They're listening to you at all times. They're just trying to harvest your data.

[B]

If it's free, you're the product.

[C]

Yeah, Carol Cadwaller, she broke, I think, the Cambridge Analytica story around 2016. She calls them digital rapists.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah, I could see that. Yeah. You know, I guess I, I, you know, then you.

[C]

And now we know there are also actual.

[A]

Actually, can we go back to the meta raping? You know, I feel like it's like, fine, you can have my accounts

[B]

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3 month plan equivalent to $15 per month. Required intro rate first 3 months only, then full price plan options available, taxes and fees extra. See full terms@mint mobile.com so you're totally invested in all of this stuff. You're going down the rabbit holes that the rest of us shouldn't have to go down. And we appreciate it. Who do you think is going to go down? Like, who's really going to go down? Like, who's definitely Wexner or Wexner.

[C]

So old, I think.

[A]

Did you watch his deposition?

[C]

I watched the deposition and I. We're talking about him. We have somebody who wrote, like literally wrote a book on, on Wexner. She's going to be on the pod that'll be released on Friday. But yes, I don't, I mean it's literally. It's either our system goes down or the sitting president goes down and he's either gonna go down by just. If we can sweep in the midterms and we have a free and fair election, then maybe, you know, we can do impeachments and subpoenas and like getting, you know, getting people held accountable. I think Pam Bondi's gotta go. Cash Patel's gotta go.

[A]

But he's doing such a good job.

[C]

I know, right? Kristi Noem, you know, they have, they're just, it's there.

[B]

Those three people aren't really in the files.

[C]

No, but they're covering up. And Bondi, I mean like Bondi's connection, you know, to the AS Florida ag.

[A]

Oh, it's insane.

[C]

But I mean, Lutnick has to go.

[B]

Yes.

[C]

Like it is a cover up. It's like the thing. It's like, you don't wanna say the COVID up is worse than the crime because the crime is one of the worst crimes ever. But the COVID up is also a huge crime. Like, the COVID up to me is a thing that's like fascinating. Like, there are tons of pedophiles everywhere you look. You know, like, we all came up in comedy. There are tons of.

[B]

Citizen app.

[A]

Let me know all the things.

[C]

The citizen app is overdoing it. I think it's overdoing it.

[B]

I don't think it's like three blocks from your house. It's like $5 to find out who.

[A]

This guy's a flasher. That guy's a liquor.

[C]

It's too. It's too much.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

It's not. That can't be. It can't be. Like, I'm like, there aren't even that many people in my neighborhood.

[A]

But you're local, locally sourced farm to table pedophile.

[C]

Right.

[A]

Is like your. Technically, it's A lot of times it's family friends. It's people connected into the family when it's that level. But now we're also seeing there's another type of pedophile that conspiracy theories have talked about for a long time. But now we actually. It actually makes more sense of like, to be a pedophile, you would need a network. There is. It's very difficult to operate alone to. To disseminate material and make material.

[C]

Okay, so there's an entrepreneurial pedophile thing which I. The conspiracy theories always like, freak me out. Like, if you're going down rabbit hole enough and you're like, The Jews did 9 11. You got to pull back. Like, you're down too far.

[A]

It's like, no, Everybody benefited from 9 11. Hey, listen, we all like 9 11.

[C]

I'm sure your fault. Your fans are gonna be like, oh no.

[B]

They understand.

[A]

They know that the Jewish people were warned and they all left the towers before the planes hit.

[B]

We know that goes right on the Netflix.

[C]

But like Epstein could have like there are. He could have just been your run of the mill pedophile. But it's like the enable all the people who enabled him on every level. Like the New York Times did a really good piece about all the doctors that helped him when he had like an orgy to females. I say female because I. It's so funny. The only other person who says female is Cannibal Cop callback. He'd be like the female from. But it's like I. But I don't know if they're of age, so I don't want to call them women. And I don't know if they're girls.

[A]

I default to child.

[B]

Child.

[C]

I just default to that.

[A]

They're kids or they're at least 16.

[C]

But there is, like, that whole thing of, like, journalistic responsibility. You know what I mean?

[A]

No, I know you're much more responsible,

[C]

but I'm trying to, because it's so easy to misstep, and I'm sure I will misstep. So I'm trying to, like, be as responsible as I can. So if they were of age, they were of age. But either way, I think that Bruce Moskowitz, I think the doctor from Palm beach, there's like, an email where he tells Epstein, you know, have them get their test at a public health clinic so that I don't have to report them when I report you, because he tested positive for gonorrhea, and you have to report as a doctor. I don't want their name showing up with your name. And it's like that level of complicity and assistance.

[A]

Well, just the looking out for Jeff. The all of these people looking out for Jeff, which means Jeff was cool. You saw his face, Loved him.

[C]

Nobody loves Trump.

[A]

Nobody. Right? We were even joking about this. We're like, Epstein has so much support and friendship.

[C]

He had such a social capital. And, yes, he had regular capital. And you could see how he's paying for gifts for everybody from Kathy Rumler to, you know, everyone else. He's just giving them money. He's giving them money.

[A]

Seagull was just his friend, dude.

[B]

Peggy Seag were his currency.

[C]

Yeah, but he sustained them.

[A]

That Peggy Seagull stuff is fascinating.

[B]

Tell me about it, would you?

[A]

That is a whole. She's a PR agent and works a lot in the Broadway.

[C]

Invite you to stuff. No, no. I was so in, like, 2017 and 18, before the connection. I think the connection between her that I saw was, like, around the Pandemic, because I remember seeing that and being so bummed because somehow I got on Peggy Siegel's list, and I would just get invited to stuff like the Veep premiere, Lady Bird, just randomly. And I'm like, what is this? Like, why does she think I'm someone else? Maybe?

[A]

I mean, but she was the one that said, well, she. Well, she told Epstein, number one, that, like, you know, Timothy Shyamalan Ding had to give up his payment for the

[C]

Woody Allen she was over sharing with him and all these emails. I mean, I haven't done the Deep dive on her yet. But, like, the way that she talked him, it was like an oversheri publicist. She's doing this all in email, but she's really, like, gossiping, gossiping like crazy. And then forwarding him, like, the allegiance that people had to him. So many people would, like, forward something to him like, that they didn't even have to, like, they'd have a clip. Oh, Michael Wolf.

[A]

Oh, my God, that fucker.

[B]

I do not like that, man.

[C]

Forwarding stuff to Epps Epstein that you don't even have to. Epstein's not gonna know. It's like he had this power over everyone. And it must have been money, but it must have been something else. Like, he could really.

[A]

Well, he also loved the Lion King. Jeffrey Epstein saw the Lion King.

[B]

Well, it's great film.

[A]

Approximately.

[C]

No, the stage plays that right now.

[A]

Same, same taste. Are you saying Julie Taymor?

[B]

Is it so Julie.

[A]

He was obsessed with Julie Tamor's the Lion King to the. He saw it at least a dozen times. And it was one of the things that he would do to impress girls where he'd be like, children's play. You want to go to Lion King.

[C]

And then, like, Serendipity for, like.

[A]

Yeah, for the. Like the gold leaf ice cream. Yeah. And then take and then draw. And then he obviously, then you have to spend time writing quotes from Lolita on their legs. That takes time.

[B]

You know that.

[A]

You know that. Jenna, you've worked with some of the great.

[B]

So he went. You're saying he went to the Lion King? Constantly.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You know, I mean, it's better than Mary Poppins.

[A]

You know what I want to say.

[C]

But you know what he said about Trump, too, right? He said Trump was like, one of the worst people he's ever evil.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Oh, he's scared of Trump. He was very scared of Trump.

[B]

So it helps.

[A]

I legitimately think what we're seeing is that. I mean, you know, I'm not going to be careful about it, but I know that they deleted those. That. That last. The. From the 50 page.

[C]

Right, right.

[A]

Deposition.

[C]

Three pages.

[A]

Yeah. About Trump's actual physical actions.

[C]

Also, people need to know. I didn't mean to cut you off, but people need to know that Trump is not emailing in the files because Trump doesn't email and didn't email.

[A]

He's. This is.

[C]

And he had a falling out with Epstein in around 2000. Whenever. I'm not exactly sure, but it was before the emails. The emails are from, like, you know, 29 to, like, a little Onward like a decade on to like, 2019 or 20 something around that.

[A]

Yes.

[C]

But Trump's falling out with Epstein was before that. And he didn't email. So as much as he is in the five files, he's not as. It's not as indictable because he didn't actually send emails to Epstein himself.

[A]

He specifically doesn't write things down.

[C]

Right.

[A]

Which is obviously the behavior of an innocent president.

[C]

Right. It's mafia shit.

[A]

Because most presidents want you to remember every word they say.

[B]

They have libraries.

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

They write. And there's. Guys, there's. Jobs are to track everything that you say.

[C]

In Clinton. Bill Clinton's deposition, he said he only. I listened to that as much as I could. You know, I do have a toddler and other work that actually pays me that I have to do. So I'm trying. Why are you laug.

[A]

Yeah, you do have to not just listen.

[C]

I know my. My poor toddler is just like, mom, I need love.

[A]

The toddler's going, I feel your pain.

[C]

Like, I don't want him to become one of these guys. So I really do have to give him love. But that was a. Now I'm blaming moms for their son, so forget that. Cut, cut, cut. Okay.

[A]

We know moms are to blame. I'm sorry. Jenna's finally saying some really good stuff on the show. I can't. It's just so nice to have some real uncut talk.

[C]

What was his mother like?

[B]

You were talking about Clinton.

[C]

Oh, yes. Clinton only sent two. Has only sent two emails, according to his deposition. One was to John Glenn when he landed on the moon, and the other was to soldiers in Kosovo. And I was like, what? And because we don't really have, like, an active, like, media ecosystem, I'm, like, reporting on this, so why am. I'm obsessed with this? It's like I'm. It's also just like. It's. It's a way to look at the news. It's a lens through which to look at the news. I've been wanting to talk about politics. Politics for. For a while. I had. My mom died three years ago, and I had a kid, and it's just been like a kind of heady time for me. So it's like this feels like a way to talk about the news that's like, niche, but also everything. So it's like we can, you know, on the podcast, it's like we do the updates just related to Epstein. Like, we entered into a war with Iran. Well, how do you connect that to Epstein, Thomas Massey thinks it's a distraction from the files. We're not going to debate whether or not what Epstein's motivation of Trump. We're not going to debate what Trump. Trump's motivations were because it doesn't matter what he. I mean, judging from the past, something that. That serves him probably, but it doesn't matter what his motivations are. It's not going to stop us from doing this thing.

[A]

I don't think the. The Iranian invasion is going to do what he wants it to. I think that a lot of people are already. I mean, like, it was a big deal, but I. And it is a big deal, but I don't believe it's going to distract people from this files. I think that it's not for the

[B]

files, it's for the election. It's a different.

[C]

Right.

[B]

He's trying to keep everyone in office so we don't have to have an election.

[C]

Right. Because war, it's whack.

[A]

Weren't we in war for, like, 20 years and had Republicans do this?

[C]

You know, this isn't the. Like, they start wars, you know? Yeah.

[B]

It's bombed eight countries.

[C]

God.

[A]

So I wish. Ha. I need an army.

[B]

I wanted to ask you a question because there's a lot of things about this. Henry's more of an expert. I'm more of a. I need to know things, and people need to tell me. What is Melania's real connection to Epstein?

[A]

Very good question.

[C]

From what I understand, she was one of the models. I'll say that nicely. Who?

[A]

Yeah, you know, they're a model.

[C]

Well, there was a whole apparatus of models that they brought. Brought over, and. And they brought over a lot for, like, nefarious purposes, where you think you're coming over, you're coming here for modeling opportunities, and then you're trafficked. Yeah. So from what I've seen, she was one of Epstein's girls. I don't know what that means. And then ended up, like, there. I think there's an email of, like, the first time she hooked up with Trump on the plane.

[A]

I remember that because that was the term. He came out and he said, what a great piece of ass.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

So, I mean, we know that she modeled.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

But it was, like, through. I believe it was through Epstein. So was she. Yeah. I mean, like, I don't know. I don't know anything else. I don't. The whole intelligence stuff, like, is above my. Like, I just. I. It's very hard to corroborate that. The whole point of like, saying someone works for some intelligence agency is like, there's no way any of us can corroborate it. If they.

[A]

Yeah, and they do. They specifically choose sketchy people a lot of times, too. So they can dump them, they can scrape them off.

[C]

They can't.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[C]

And the allegations of Epstein working for, like, any intelligence, I do believe, you know, like, Hillary in her deposition was like, I was targeted by Russia, Russian intelligence. Epstein from. Again, my understanding is that he didn't need to work for one intelligence agency. He had them. I mean, I don't. It seemed like he might have. You know, the way that he created favor with everyone, maybe he did that with intelligence, but I don't think he worked for, like, one agency. I don't know that. That is, like, hard for me to say because I just don't. I haven't seen anything. And also I listened to the interview with Julie K. Brown and David Remnick, and I'm just parroting what she said. And she's one of the people who's been reporting on this very extensively for a very long time now. Was Trump bankrupt in the 80s and then given money by Russian, potentially mobsters?

[A]

No.

[B]

Well, he was staying in Trump Tower.

[C]

And the thing about Trump, and I remember, like, hoping that the tax returns would come out, and I do believe there was an Epstein email where he was like, everything's in Trump, Trump's taxes. Like, all of Trump never releases tax returns because it shows that. And then, like, the Trump connection with Deutsche bank, the two people who, like, the bankers at Deutsche bank who, like, died or killed them. There's so much sketchy shit around Trump. I just. I can't believe that he even was able to run in 2016 with all the dirt on him that was already public record.

[A]

Well, that was the first thing that busted an idea about, you know, massive conspiracy theories in my mind, because I was like, in 2016, I was like, there's no way the capital S system. System was gonna let Trump win. Like, Hillary Clinton was supposed to win. Right? Like, that was all. If the system really rigs it. Yeah, Hillary, Bernie, for a reason, yes, Hillary Clinton would have won. But so obviously there is something to voting that is in there that they can somehow, like, the TV man won. That's how he won, is that he was in. He was literally ubiquitous with pop culture for about 40 years. And then we kind of. Maybe we seem to have uneducated ourselves to a. A point as a society where we were just like, TV man's fun. I want TV man to be president man.

[C]

Yeah. There was also. I mean, there was mainstream reporting that came out. So don't shoot the messenger about, like, Kremlin backed money supporting Bernie's campaign. Just dividing the left. Like, just divide the left.

[A]

Oh, he probably didn't even know where

[B]

that money came from.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Do you think that maybe it's like,

[B]

$33, so it's fine.

[C]

It went towards his suit.

[A]

I was again asking Russian intelligence, I like borscht soup.

[B]

What am I supposed to do?

[A]

I wonder if we're actually in a better spot, because obviously we aren't Russia or China yet. Right. Our media, in many ways, is a really hard genie to get back in the bottle.

[B]

The.

[A]

Our independent way of talking out to the Internet and do is actually extremely difficult to clamp down now. So we have more information than ever, which is part of the reason why, I think the current con with the Iranian invasion and all these guys coming out and talking and literally not even giving us a reason why and just kind of blowing it all through, I think that the hypocrisy itself is finally starting to sort of come to the surface because there's just. There's too much information accessible for us to not see that you're wrong and you're lying.

[C]

Okay, so I think a couple things. I think our media ecosystem is very broken and potentially beyond repair. And I think part of that has to do with the fact that it's so fragmented. When you have people like Joe Rogan and Andrew Schultz forming public opinion, it's really, really scary.

[A]

But it seems like the problem then is the problem, not the public, that they're forming around them.

[C]

Well, we're not. We're not an educated population. We don't have media literacy, which is huge. And, you know, like, I want to agree with you that, like, people can have access to information, but there's information overload. There are unreliable messengers. And then, like, with what happened on Twitter, it's like our platforms can just be taken away in a heart. So the local news apparatus is going away, but that's really like people digging in their communities, having trusted sources and, like, working together. I mean, all that's kind of going away. Like the cable news, the local news, local cable news, but the local news being, you know, gutted is a really. Is really bad for democracy. And so, yeah, people might have access to information. You know, it could be information overload, where then they just tune out because there's just too much misinformation, and it's really hard to sift through. And again, that's partly why I started the podcast. Cause I'm like going into the files and. And I'm like, I'm going crazy. And then I go on Twitter and I'd see some AI shit and I would fall for it and I'd be like, I feel like this for someone who is like, emotionally vulnerable. Like, this could trigger psychosis.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

People. And then, you know, and then I just had to step back and bring on a journalist and be like, okay, like, let's just focus on, like, what are the indictable claims? Like what. What are the invest. What can we investigate? What. Who can we put press pressure on to unredact things, get the actual information out there, investigate the claims, and then prosecute the people who are criminals, hold them accountable.

[B]

Now, when it comes to Trump, doesn't he not have full immunity because of what got passed right before he became president?

[A]

Well, yeah, he's. Well, I think it's supposed to be immunity for acts considered under the guise of the president. Presidency.

[B]

Okay, all right. So he doesn't have just full presidential immunity like all presidents you can't arrest.

[C]

Right, Right. You can indict a sending president.

[A]

I don't also, I mean, good luck. Seriously.

[C]

But I don't think it's. I mean, when I say that this is going to take Trump down, I think if it's going to take him down, it's going to be by like, you know, flipping like the House and the Senate in the midterms. And then if that doesn't happen, I don't. I just don't. I don't know.

[A]

I mean, I think is things going to die.

[C]

Yeah, yeah. Time. I forgot about time. I forgot about Father Time. Father Time.

[A]

Father Time. I think that Father Time is the really only thing that, that can really come into play here. And I think that thankfully, cuz normally bastards live forever. Like my piece of grandmother lived till she was 95 years old. She just hung on.

[B]

I heard Cheney's back alive.

[C]

Yeah, I think, but I think that,

[A]

yeah, normally people with no souls live for a long time. But I do also think that he's just so unhealthy that there's only so evil that can keep him alive.

[C]

We'll see. His father lived to, what, 95 or something?

[A]

But at least by then he really was just tapioca with pubic hair.

[C]

I mean, but he can. Trump can. That's great. That's a great visual. And.

[A]

Sable as a beautiful Siberian horse.

[C]

But I also think, like, worse than Trump are are like J.D. vance and Teal, and they're kind of like random running the ship.

[B]

So Teal's the most terrifying person in this country.

[C]

Terrifying nothing will.

[A]

The only thing that cartons me is that none of them were a television producer, though. J.D. vance is going to get torn to pieces.

[C]

Well, that's where I think the files come back in. You know what I mean? That's where it's like when Trump is out of the picture. Like, no one else who doesn't have Trump's appeal can justify any of this shit.

[A]

It's going to be difficult. And that's why. Why we need the rock.

[B]

That's right.

[A]

And I hope that Dwayne Johnson can take up the torch and be the next unbelievably crooked president.

[B]

I have one final question for you, Jenna. October 14th in Florida is now Charlie Kirk Remembrance Day. How will you be celebrating?

[C]

Oh, my God.

[A]

You trying to get me death threats?

[B]

Okay, wait, we did it all this episode.

[A]

Hey,

[C]

who is Charlie Kirk?

[B]

Thank you.

[C]

Because if I were, like, a professional media troll, I was just like, who are you talking about? I. I missed the news that day. I don't know.

[B]

I'll answer your question with another question. What is a woman?

[C]

I mean, I live in California. It's like, whatever you want it to be. I mean, whatever.

[A]

Wow, that's incredible. You're so lucky.

[B]

Oh, thank you so much, Jenna, for coming by. Jenna Friedman. Listen to the Epstein Files book club. It's available, where you listen to podcasts with Elise Hugh, Jenna Friedman on Instagram, and of course, go see. It's going to be in LA on April 8th, in Austin on April 10th.

[C]

Thank you.

[B]

Yeah, thank you so much.

[A]

Thank you, Jenna. Wow. How about that, huh? 40 minutes of pure Epstein. I can talk about it for longer. I could keep going.

[B]

I need that, like, basic baseline info that we just got that's very important. Me, I feel like I, like, advanced past like we did. I just, like, I've just thought I'm just reading his emails and, like, I'm pretending I'm him.

[A]

But also, funnily enough, she brought up the whole dental angle.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

And I think that that is going to be a massive part of this story with Karina Schuliac connecting all of these, because, like, I was just researching another thing that they were talking about another massive pedophile file that would use dental care as a way to get in. And this makes a lot of sense for young women. Like, I remember. Like, I remember when I met Natalie, she was suffering from horrific dental Problems.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And that was like one of those things where it was really hard for her and was. Got so expensive and everything's out of pocket if you don't have the insurance. And so I think that he would find beautiful women. I think he would find beautiful women in a dental hygienist. Yes. But I think he would use it on beautiful women. I would say I'm going to make your teeth good so you can be a model.

[B]

I was going to say because dental hygienists are notoriously very attractive.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. I actually, you know, I. Yeah, right. Sometimes I think so I actually find I my dental. The zoo hygienist I work with are more so like kind of older. Yeah, it's older women.

[B]

Well, you know, tenure.

[A]

Well, yeah, you're like a seasoned woman. All right, let's get into one listener email.

[B]

I love listener emails. Do we have a stinger? Sorry I threw that on your.

[A]

Good work. I got this, this, this one that we really liked. You know the dude we don't got to always do new one.

[B]

Are you ready, Eddie? Yes.

[C]

Oh, you hie Henry.

[A]

Yes. Always time for listener emails. Y. We got one of these. We had actually a bunch of these on this subject about the 11 year old being tried as an adult.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

There's some people that have. I definitely saw some people were like, oh, he should have treatment and not jail. I understand.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

But I also had got several emails that I thought were interesting that were basically being like 11 year olds are dangerous.

[B]

So you. So are you going to read the ones that make you sound right or the ones that make me sound right?

[A]

That's the best part. So they could do anything. Anything I want. But no, this is like, this is interesting. It's because really it was just more about juveniles tried as. As an adult. Yeah, I do found. I did. It really depends on where you're at in Florida.

[B]

I remember when my buddy was murdered by another young man. Like that guy was tried as adult but he like tied him to a tree and shot him in the head

[A]

and so that was the government.

[B]

No. Oh, oh, yeah, yeah.

[A]

Oh, great.

[B]

Pleas name. I don't need him coming to find me again.

[A]

Yeah, come on, let's get it. I think.

[B]

Think he's out now.

[A]

Go.

[C]

Good.

[A]

Oh, let's have him on the show. So just want to let you know about the case of Clayton DS the 11 year old who confessed to killing his father can be transferred to juvenile court. It's currently an adult court. Because in the state of Pennsylvania all murder Charges regardless of the age of the offender. Start an adult court. Most states have a minimum statutory age at which a person can be tried as an adult. And the youngest age any state is written into law is 12.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Pennsylvania is the only state that automatically sends all homicides to adult court. And if somebody under the age of 15 is convicted as an adult, the maximum sentence allowable is life with the possibility of parole after 25 years. So essentially, so this is an example. In 2009, an 11 year old Pennsylvania boy was initially charged as an adult with killing his dad's fiance. But that was when he then, then he was sent to juvenile court where he was found delinquent and sent to a juven where he has to stay until the age of 21. So this is one of those, it goes back and forth. He will be essentially tried as an adult and then he could be sentenced as an adult. But they, they essentially what they'll do is no matter what, he will be put in a youth wing or at a very high, high security juvenile center. Yeah. Until he's like 18, then he goes serve 21. That's one K. That was a previous case.

[B]

Oh okay.

[A]

But he probably will go to like 18 then go to up until the 25 year marker hits and then he can go up for parole.

[B]

Yeah. So he at earliest. He's getting out at 36.

[A]

Yes. If he gets it. If, if they throw the book at him, man.

[B]

No chance at a decent life.

[A]

No. Damn, no. But hey, you know, the problem is, is that he. I do. I, I've come around a little bit more about the idea that obviously kids don't know what they're doing. I know. Kids don't know. K. Adults don't know what they're doing. Adult. You don't have a solid brain until you're 25 years old. Understand that.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

It's just what do you do? And I had several emails also said about the idea that kids are kind of intense right now.

[B]

Very much so. Very much not. The crazy part about this is, is if he missed, almost nothing would happen.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

If he missed we would probably wouldn't even know about it. The dad would have just taken the gun from him and fucking putting it back in the suitcase, slapped him around a little bit and.

[A]

Is that what you do? I feel like that if my son,

[B]

I think if a kid fires a gun you, you're allowed to hit, you can hit him.

[A]

You think that one time. Wow, I love to get this email. I can't wait for these emails. Side stories lpotl gmail.com. when's it okay to hit a child?

[B]

When they fire a gun at you?

[A]

Actually, you know what?

[B]

My dad hit me exactly once. And it was when I pulled the steering wheel out of his hand. And I still think he's right.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

You know, like we were driving. I pulled the steering wheel. We almost crashed. He hit me. I never pulled the steering wheel out of anyone else's hand the rest of my life. I have no intentions of doing that, even to the rudest Uber drivers.

[A]

I was watching something last night. What was I watch? Or it was like kids attacking somebody. And I was doing that, being like, no, no. This would have happened if someone gave one of these children a whoop. That's they need to do is give his child a whoop.

[B]

I know.

[A]

No, no.

[B]

I obviously don't hit kids. I think about it.

[A]

My thing is if he shot at you and he missed. Yeah, I guess you do have to. You do have to beat him within an inch of his life. Only just because you can't come for the king and miss.

[B]

That's the thing.

[A]

Never try to kill your father and. And. And not get it right. You better kill me, son.

[B]

Remember?

[A]

Or that. Or do you take the gun and play Russian roulette with the sun? Right. And you tell him you're playing Russian roulette, but you lie to him, Right?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And you set it all up. And then you get him ready and you make him pull it a couple of times. And then until you're certain that it would be one bullet left. Right. And he's crying, and he's crying stuff. And then you take the gun out of his hands. It's like, this is why you don't. With your father.

[B]

There you go. See? And people said we.

[A]

And you didn't hit him. You didn't hit him once. You should be a dad. You know how many people Henry and

[B]

I, that we should be dads.

[A]

I'm a girl dad.

[B]

Have these type of conversations all the time. We have made the right decision to not be fathers. Well, this is all about trying to convince Henry and I to be fathers also.

[A]

This is us as single fathers. You have to remember. This is us with no feedback. Also.

[B]

Yeah. I mean, yeah. So I. But I do find it crazy that if he missed, he still would have the same intention.

[A]

What? He'd get a stern talking to for me.

[B]

I know, but I'm just saying his whole life is destroyed because he's a good shot. Yeah.

[A]

That is the main issue. Could have been John Wick.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Yeah, it's the manager. No, he did it point blank blank. He was in a good shot.

[B]

Yeah. Well, I still hope for the best for this little.

[A]

I'm afraid of him, but I was afraid of him.

[B]

Don't want him in the room. But I do want someone who cares to take care of him.

[A]

He's just very obviously an 11 year he's just very obviously an 11 year old boy. And he probably should. There. There's got to be something else going in there. We also do. I still don't think anything necessarily happened to the fa. I don't think the father did anything. I did get also an interesting email from somebody that I think his father's

[B]

nickname should be Scary Potter.

[A]

Cute. That's fun.

[B]

You hear that? Prison.

[C]

Got it.

[B]

Come on. Scary Potter.

[A]

That's for free.

[B]

Call him Scary Potter. Call him any sent.

[A]

Enjoy. But also someone said in the foster system that you can also see the kid was adopted. There are kids that are. It is. They have known nothing but betrayal from adults. You know, there is that if you've been adopted, you've been betrayed, betrayed by somebody and now you've been refound and you're. You're loved. But you had to deal with somebody saying, I don't want, you know, anymore. And I think that that is hard.

[B]

It is hard. And the foster system, you know, it's a very like thankless place where a lot of people take advantage of everything and then even the band sucks. Oh, yeah.

[A]

Foster the people tell me garbage. Also, I'm not fostering people.

[B]

You know, foster the children, foster the dogs, even a cat if you have to. Wow. Not people.

[A]

Well, this has been a great episode.

[B]

Last comic book on the left does a new thing out, right?

[A]

Go check that out. Go and get last comic book on the left. We are honest over at Z2 Comics. This is the fun.

[B]

Nothing to do with me.

[A]

Nothing to do with him.

[B]

Has nothing to do with me.

[A]

But I forgot how good this is. Go pre order it right now.

[B]

Can you tease what's in it at all? What stories?

[A]

Incredible conclusion to my story on detective popcorn that we did with the incredible writer Elliot Rohan.

[B]

How long has the cliffhanger been, dude?

[A]

You'll see.

[B]

Like, no, I'm saying when was the last. When the last thing come out? Like, it's got to be like four years. Yeah. Long time. This is like since before my tenure.

[A]

Yeah, bro.

[B]

So people have been waiting for this shit.

[A]

Yeah. So you go out there and you're going to get this. This is the conclusion to the whole thing. Last comic book. Book on the left four.

[B]

Is it available in stores? Do they have to go to some weird cryptic website where they can only watch like one hammer?

[A]

You got to go to Z2Comics.com. Go and Google it. Check it out. You'll get it. Last comic book on the left, volume four, Z2Comics.com.

[B]

Also, we got a really fun thing happening in two weeks. This is extremely limited. So if you want to be a part of this jump on top. Tickets are on sale on March 25th. Henry and I I are leading two tours through the Mystic Museum. It's gonna be fun out here in Burbank. We're literally. It's gonna be. You can get tickets@the mysticmuseum.com the mysticmuseum.com for tickets. Get them there.

[A]

It's.

[B]

We're leading two tours at 6:30 and 7:30. There's like 15 people each tour.

[A]

Dude, it's gonna be fun.

[B]

Very hard to get these tickets. If you want to come see this. It's gonna be really stupid. We take you through a bunch of horror movies and we're gonna make fun of it. It's gonna be a blast. And we're gonna have Eric from the Mystic Museum is gonna be walking around with us. So whenever we say something incorrect, you'll correct us.

[A]

It's going to have. So we're going to have a lot of fun. Come and check it out.

[B]

It's going to be very chaotic. Get very high. Get. Maybe eat some mushrooms. There's some scary in there. You'll be scared. There's lots of like bloody scenes from horror movies. It's very silly. We're going to have a blast doing this. That's going to be in Burbank at The Mystic Museum March 25th at 6:30 and 7:30. Get your tickets at the mystic museum.com and also the week after that on Good Friday you can check out Amber and I at the Lyric Hyperion. That's going to be on April 3rd at 7pm Go and get tickets there. Also. Crime Wave at Sea is happening.

[A]

Dude, come out to crime wave at SE 2.0. We are going to have so much fun. You can pay for it over the year. Come and. Come and join us on the high seas. Last year we did it. It was a blast.

[B]

It was. It was insane. I think we got a of lot. A lot of repeat customers. So it's going to be. We're definitely going to be switching up our show. It's not going to be the same thing we did last year.

[A]

Oh, yeah. We're doing an entirely different thing. We're going to have so much fun. [e-mail] last.

[B]

That's right, baby. Go get that in Indian Urbana. We'll see you this weekend. I can't wait to eat your sausage and party and poop up all your bathrooms. It's going to be a blast. Oh, and I wanted to give a nice shout out. We have a new. A new employee here at Side Stories. Pat Barker joining us, helping us with research and some humor. Thank you, buddy, for coming on board. As you can see, what would happen.

[A]

As you can see, we're already better, aren't we?

[B]

Yes, we're already better. I think we did nothing that he gave us nothing. That's great. It's a good investment.

[A]

That's life. We'll be back.

[B]

I still love.

[A]

We'll be back in there. Don't you worry. You live every day knowing for a fact. Sad stories comes every week. No matter what you do right? And you laugh at us. You're going to laugh at us because we're the. The funniest thing on Netflix since Come and see. And you're just going to just love giving it up to Jennifer Edman.

[B]

Oh, man. Guys. Bye, everybody. Be good to yourself. Hail Tommy Takaro, the great voice of Boston, the band. He died. That first album rocks.

[A]

It's all his first time. Dude.

[B]

I love that song. It's a musical journey through sex. Tommy Takarlo. Adios. You had a beautiful high pitched voice.

[A]

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