
Henry & Eddie serve up this week's weirdest stories and true-crime news, piping hot, fresh out the oven - starting with a quick recap of the boy's recent Humbolt weed-venture, a big RIP to Keto the Killer Whale, Lyle Menendez caught up in bizarre love triangle behind bars, a congressional UAP update, disgruntled Seattle woman murders 67-year-old father on election night, a violent outburst at a Virginia Mod Pizza leaves one worker disemboweled, Listener E-Mails, and MORE!
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Henry Zabrowski
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Ed Larson
There's no place to escape to. This is the last podcast on the left side stories.
Henry Zabrowski
That's when the cannibalism started. Side stories. Yes. That's too bad. I'm already. I am already dead. I am already dead. I'm a dead man.
Ed Larson
What should I bring to Thanksgiving?
Henry Zabrowski
Dead man walking.
Ed Larson
Dead man walking.
Henry Zabrowski
If you were to bring a dead man, I'm gonna say if you're going to Thanksgiving this year, good thing to maybe bring for the whole family is those dental dams.
Ed Larson
Oh yeah.
Henry Zabrowski
I teach your family how to use dental dams as Thanksgiving.
Ed Larson
You're right. You're right.
Henry Zabrowski
Because it's been so. I've never used one. I've never seen one.
Ed Larson
You can use them in a practically for to go, you know, for leftovers.
Henry Zabrowski
I think that's a great piece of advice in it.
Ed Larson
Jam it in your wife.
Henry Zabrowski
Dude, I think that that's a great, great idea. I think also I. It's a good. You know what is really great about dental dams is that it's really a really good way to save yourself some calories for the Thanksgiving meal. So then you get the pleasure and the taste of eating it by putting it. You put the dental dam over your face. You mush the food into the hole where your mouth is, right? And you could chew it all around and you can get the juices sliding through around the dental dam in your mouth, but then you can just spit it out and that's called a safer form of bulimia. Is that wrong? Is that wrong?
Ed Larson
Imagine Being, like, about to eat out a woman and you're like, excuse me.
Henry Zabrowski
Let me get my.
Ed Larson
Hold on one second.
Henry Zabrowski
Well, it's good to do. Technically, we can't be angry about it. You're supposed to put it over the vagina. That is the most graphic picture, Rob, to start today with.
Ed Larson
Oh, man. That is wild Thanksgiving.
Henry Zabrowski
Wow. We are really. Happy Thanksgiving.
Ed Larson
I just postponed my dentist appointment.
Henry Zabrowski
Hey, you better get back.
Ed Larson
Yeah. Doctor. Dr. Re have any extra dental dams?
Henry Zabrowski
I think my south mouth has a cavity. They know what's going on. Welcome to side Stories. I'm Henry Zabrowski. Well, yeah. Sitting here with Ed Larson. He called out his actual dentist, who does listen to the show. I had no idea that what a dental dam was. I'm not even frowning against the use of dental dams. I think you should. If you. If you've got. If you got the old school gangster bumps.
Ed Larson
Yeah.
Henry Zabrowski
You need them on the mouth or.
Ed Larson
You got them on your south mouth.
Henry Zabrowski
Wrap it up, Damn it up.
Ed Larson
You just. You. I heard if you just throw it like a Frisbee, it just attaches sticks.
Henry Zabrowski
That's if you get her wet first. That's why four play is extremely important.
Ed Larson
Yeah. We do eight play.
Henry Zabrowski
That is an R. Kelly bit.
Ed Larson
Is it?
Henry Zabrowski
Yeah. Twelve play is a song.
Ed Larson
Oh, well, I don't go that far.
Henry Zabrowski
That's right. He could have calmed some of that down, I guess.
Ed Larson
Yeah, yeah, yeah, Definitely. At least nine play.
Henry Zabrowski
Oh, I mean, let's on seven play if we could. She's too randy.
Ed Larson
Well, we're going to be in Brooklyn.
Henry Zabrowski
We are.
Ed Larson
We are going to be in Brooklyn next week.
Henry Zabrowski
Kings Theater.
Ed Larson
Kings theater on December 7th. Last podcast on the left. It's going to be so much fun. We still got. That place is gigantic.
Henry Zabrowski
It's. We still got like a million tickets to sell.
Ed Larson
2,000 tickets. There's still so many tickets.
Henry Zabrowski
So if you're there, come hang out. Which we're going to have. We're going to have a blast. All of our friends are going to be there. We're going to be hanging out.
Ed Larson
Show of the year.
Henry Zabrowski
We're going to have a blast. And then Philly's completely sold out, so you can't see it.
Ed Larson
Yeah. So, yeah. But also we're going to be here in LA on the 21st of December.
Henry Zabrowski
Welcome. Come see Class Night Out.
Ed Larson
It's going to be a lot of fun. I got some good bookings. I just booked Blair Sochi.
Henry Zabrowski
It's very, very thick. I think I accidentally also booked another person as well.
Ed Larson
We got A stack show.
Henry Zabrowski
We really do.
Ed Larson
We're gonna have to combine acts or something.
Henry Zabrowski
We're gonna figure something out, but it's gonna be a hell of a barn burner. Come on down December 21st at the Masonic Lodge in Los Angeles at the Hollywood Forever Cemetery.
Ed Larson
And the last one, Last one is January 11th. We're gonna be in Atlanta at the Coca Cola Roxy. I can't wait for that show. I've never been to Atlanta other than to see Tom Petty and he's fucking dead, dude.
Henry Zabrowski
We are gonna go to Gun Joe Gun show. Gun shows. My favorite restaurant. Almost one of my favorite restaurants in the country.
Ed Larson
Really?
Henry Zabrowski
It's wonderful.
Ed Larson
All right.
Henry Zabrowski
There's a bunch of stuff we can go do. I want to go to Gu show. If you're hearing this Kevin Gillespie, I know you listen. Sometimes we need a. A rezzy though.
Ed Larson
By the way, a lot of people hit me up and said you're full of about the varsity.
Henry Zabrowski
They are wrong themselves.
Ed Larson
They said that you're a idiot.
Henry Zabrowski
I've been going back to varsity for a dozen years. I.
Ed Larson
Varsity is the best and you're a dumb, dumb.
Henry Zabrowski
You are incorrect, poo poo brain. Varsity is for drunk college kids and there's other things to do, but there's. I mean it can take you better place.
Ed Larson
I better get better. If you can give me a better hot dog. Hot dog on the brain. Now eat it now.
Henry Zabrowski
Eat it before we go. Dodger dogs are better. Just eat it.
Ed Larson
They changed. They changed the Dodger dog.
Henry Zabrowski
It doesn't matter, all right? I'm gonna take it better places. I promise you. I'm gonna take a better place.
Ed Larson
Better fucking hot dog.
Henry Zabrowski
Speaking of places we've been to, we just came back from Humboldt county and boy, are my dreams tired. Yeah, man.
Ed Larson
Fucking saw the other side, dude.
Henry Zabrowski
We want to give a big, big old thank you spanic. We want to give a big thank you to Ridgeline Farms and Huckleberry Hill Farms open.
Ed Larson
Johnny Ca. Dude, what a bad motherfucker. Also Motoli Valley sun grown also badass with Dylan over there.
Henry Zabrowski
We just. Just straight up we learned a lot. We went and did a little. But you know, we didn't just smoke weed and do dumb stuff.
Ed Larson
We did a full on show with an amazing crowd. Maybe my favorite show we did all year.
Henry Zabrowski
300 we had. We sold 320 tickets in the middle of nowhere. It was the best two restaurants. We had a blast in a liquor store.
Ed Larson
That is very scary.
Henry Zabrowski
It looked like a level from Silent Hill 2.
Ed Larson
It's just like, we're the only place in town with liquor. Good luck finding another place with liquor.
Henry Zabrowski
Humble.
Ed Larson
This is what it looks like. It was seven in there.
Henry Zabrowski
Oh, yeah. It is still, like, literally. It is the group. The group of most friendly murderers I've ever met.
Ed Larson
Yeah.
Henry Zabrowski
And they were wonderful. Thank you guys so much. But we have learned a lot about the plight of the small farmer. If you go out there and you see Huckleberry Hill Farms, when you're at.
Ed Larson
Your dispensary, you're lucky enough to get. We were very fortunate to get in there. I doubt anyone could just walk in.
Henry Zabrowski
But if you go into a dispensary and you see Ridgeline or Huckleberry Hill Farms or Matoli Valley, Sungrove, you buy that shit.
Ed Larson
I'm on outdoor weed now.
Henry Zabrowski
It's.
Ed Larson
I never thought that that was going to happen to me. I thought I was indoor forever with all the crazy. It's much better outdoors. We were smoking it, and we never smoked before shows. No. And we got. We had to, like, show the growers we were cool. And so we're like, all right, you know, we'll hit it. And then, man. First of all, the farmer joints, they.
Henry Zabrowski
Call them growers joints. Growers joints, they are the size of quarters. They as wide as a quarter. It's amazing.
Ed Larson
Entire paper. And I have no. And it stays perfectly.
Henry Zabrowski
No idea how they do.
Ed Larson
No idea how they do it.
Henry Zabrowski
Just generations of having their. Their. Their fingers roll joints and grow weed.
Ed Larson
Yeah.
Henry Zabrowski
But they. This, like, we talked to, like, at Huckleberry Hill Farms. This is like a generational farm. It was really amazing. We have no ties to them monetarily. We don't really. But they like talking about how, like, my father used to have to farm for weed with an AK47 on his back, and now he's sitting there in the full merch. So it is a wild. Like, it really has been a long, strange trip that those guys have been on because it is. It just turned legal there. Yeah, essentially.
Ed Larson
Yeah. It's hard for them because they used to make so much more money when it was illegal.
Henry Zabrowski
Yes.
Ed Larson
Yeah. And, like, everyone's wearing shirts, they say, keep weed illegal. And I guess I didn't catch that at first. And at one point during our sales, like, man, I love that weed's legal now.
Henry Zabrowski
People forget we got booze.
Ed Larson
Got real mad of a hole. I was like, oh.
Henry Zabrowski
But it was great, though, honestly. We learned a ton. And it. It was just. What a fucking great trip. We can't wait to go back.
Ed Larson
I know. That Henry has gone completely weed crazy.
Henry Zabrowski
I.
Ed Larson
We've got. We got a lot. They gave us a lot of weed. Every moment we've had in a very long time.
Henry Zabrowski
Yes. Every moment that I'm sitting here at fucking work on Wednesday before Thanksgiving, all I want to be.
Ed Larson
Usually when we prep for the show, it's casual and shit. He's like, can we just fucking get in there?
Henry Zabrowski
Can we get this done? I'm going to get back to my blueberry caviar that is sitting in my home. I know. It's so good.
Ed Larson
By the way. You didn't give me a blueberry caviar. You only gave me the black caviar. Two jars of black caviar.
Henry Zabrowski
It's the same.
Ed Larson
I was supposed to know. One's blueberry caviar.
Henry Zabrowski
Give me the other one.
Ed Larson
That's good.
Henry Zabrowski
I'll give it to you. We'll switch.
Ed Larson
See, this is what happens, is tearing our friendship apart.
Henry Zabrowski
No, no, I'm just. I was explaining this to Eddie. I think weed is the thing. I'm the greediest over, like, money. I don't care. Other shit, I don't care. But like weed, I'm like, that's also what lamb.
Ed Larson
You get crazy around lamb.
Henry Zabrowski
The meat.
Ed Larson
Yeah.
Henry Zabrowski
Well, I like. I like lamb, but I share lamb. I share lamb.
Ed Larson
You share weed.
Henry Zabrowski
Yeah, but. But still, I'm like, smog. I keep my weed. I'm like, yes, yes, precious.
Ed Larson
Do you have any in your. I put some in my freezer to keep it good longer so I can smoke it next year.
Henry Zabrowski
Actually, I didn't even think about that. I probably should.
Ed Larson
Yeah.
Henry Zabrowski
Does it work like that?
Ed Larson
I don't know. That's what we used to do when I was growing or selling, so I imagine that's what you should do.
Henry Zabrowski
They said at least not. Don't let it get hot.
Ed Larson
Yeah, don't let it get hot.
Henry Zabrowski
That's the main thing. It just needs to be temperate.
Ed Larson
Yeah. What's the winner? We're good.
Henry Zabrowski
Well, thank you, guys. Thank you, Hubble. Thank you to everybody who came out.
Ed Larson
The Mateo Community Center. What a cool place to see a show. If you go on their website and you just find a show that looks cool, go there. The vacation. The redwoods are unbelievable. It's an amazing town. It should be a tourist destination.
Henry Zabrowski
It should be. It's just extremely difficult to get to.
Ed Larson
Yes.
Henry Zabrowski
And so that is why it probably isn't yet. But also, don't, you know, like, let's roll in there. Because they don't got quite the infrastructure yet for the amount of tourists that should be there.
Ed Larson
Yeah.
Henry Zabrowski
But one day. And maybe that's where people could put some money, because that's what it needs. It needs a couple of pharmacies. It could be a couple of coffee shops.
Ed Larson
You build it. They will come.
Henry Zabrowski
Yep. Come.
Ed Larson
And they will build it.
Henry Zabrowski
Come and I. And I'll go there.
Ed Larson
Yeah.
Henry Zabrowski
Come and I'm coming.
Ed Larson
Coming. And it will be stuck to your leg.
Henry Zabrowski
Come and I'm covered in come. Let's get into some stories.
Ed Larson
Do you think that's the plug they wanted?
Henry Zabrowski
Yep. Come. You'll be covered in. Come. There's nothing they like better. Have you ever worried about the safety of your home and family? There's no better time to act now. You have to do it now. My listeners can get 60% off today just by visiting SimpliSafe.com LPOTL SimpliSafe is a new way to protect your home that stops intruders before they break into your home. Old school systems only take action once somebody is already inside your home. That's too late. I've been asking if Simplisafe can go to the criminal's home first, but they said that technology is pending. Simplisafes active guard outdoor protection, though, changes the game by preventing crime before it even happens. Again. I ask, can it shoot nets? Can it shoot electronic darts? Can shoot big loops of goo. But no, it does it in a responsible way by notifying the authorities. And apparently the authorities won't even do that either, which kind of makes me sad because I think in the end we're wasting time not investing in lasso guns. And. And I think that there should be more open pits. I think there should be more leaves placed on top of open pits that people can fall in. But again, we're in longer talks with Simplisafe and I think that they're really down to hear a lot of my ideas. SimpliSafe is offering my listeners exclusive early access to their Black Friday sale this week only. You can get 60% off any new system with a select professional monitoring plan. This is their best offer of the year. Head to simplisafe.com lpotl that's simplisafe.com lp o t l. There is no safe like Simplisafe. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. I want to thank my beautiful wife for every day coming to the plate, knowing that she will kiss me on the forehead whether I'm crying or yelling. But it can't always be like that. Sometimes you got to talk to an expert, because this month is all about gratitude. Me love, me friends, me love, me life. All right. But sometimes it's hard to remind ourselves that we are trying our best to make sense of everything. And in this crazy world, that isn't easy. So here's a reminder to send some thanks to the people in your life, including yourself. That's my thing. I mostly like to thank myself at Thanksgiving because I did a lot of the cooking. Give BetterHelp a try. Let the gratitude flow with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com lastpod today to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp. H E L p.com/last pot. At this time of year, maybe you're looking back on all the amazing memories you have from 2024, especially if you're in love. Maybe already looking ahead to your plans in 2025. Or maybe you're getting crushed by the pressure that it's the holiday season and wondering, will the loneliness end me? Or the consumerism? It's time to take that aback, take back the control of the narrative. Because maybe for some people, the plans involve getting engaged to the one you're with. And for others, maybe it's about getting married to yourself. It's easy to do because the only one person's got to say yes. You and yourself. All right, you can do that. With Blue Nile.com get yourself a treat. Blue Nile is the original online jeweler since 1999. Ah, the ancient days. On blue nile.com you can create a bigger, more brilliant piece than you can imagine at a price that you won't find anywhere else. It might make your holiday season the most magical it's ever been. Mmm. Maybe if you shop on blue nile.com or the loneliness will get you. The cold, the wind. Buy a bracelet instead. I got Blue Nile for my wife and I'm still getting lucky. You go out there and get some earrings. Honestly, even if you're single, just dangle them. You never know who's going to show up, right? Blue Nile.com ladybait since 1999. Right now go to blue nile.com and use code last podcast for $50 off your purchase of $500 or more. That's $50 off with code last podcast@blue nile.com blue nile.com.
Ed Larson
We got a couple updates.
Henry Zabrowski
I do have a couple updates. Number one update was I thought that did make me laugh quite a bit was the we talked about at the end of last week's episode about the naked doctor that has Done a bunch of fucked up stuff to his. Dr. Stein was named Doctor Doctor. Define he. Before his nudity problems, he was instructed by an hoa, his hoa. Of where his home was to remove a bush that was obstructing a stop sign. So what he did was he removed the bush and then put in its place a giant rooster with two giant balls in front of it.
Ed Larson
And he said, all these roosters have balls?
Henry Zabrowski
No, you see, but it's a funny play upon the fact that he said, you see what happens is when I shave my bush, you see my dick and balls.
Ed Larson
Oh, cock and balls.
Henry Zabrowski
Fun guy.
Ed Larson
Yes, yes, yes.
Henry Zabrowski
He's a fun guy. And so he did this. The entire town actually kind of likes it.
Ed Larson
Yeah, Well, I mean, how do you not?
Henry Zabrowski
They kind of like. I think it's funny. But this was before.
Ed Larson
It's not anatomically correct.
Henry Zabrowski
No, no, no. It doesn't have it. It's like. It's a rooster that has two literal, like basketball things in front of it.
Ed Larson
Oh, okay.
Henry Zabrowski
So it's not attached to it. He's doing it like it's funny. It's truly cheeky.
Ed Larson
So now they want to get rid of it because he's a predator.
Henry Zabrowski
Well, this was like last year. This is just more of a. This is what this kind of guy do.
Ed Larson
We have to find a new home for this cock and balls.
Henry Zabrowski
Honest, I think that's the most innocent thing about him.
Ed Larson
Yeah. Oh, for sure.
Henry Zabrowski
It's what he got. He's a. He's a. He loves.
Ed Larson
And balls. There's no question.
Henry Zabrowski
He definitely loves his own. He definitely loves his own. But apparently it really was a long term abuse like situation in that house, which is really, really funny.
Ed Larson
I'm glad they got him.
Henry Zabrowski
And then what other update?
Ed Larson
One less doctor in the streets.
Henry Zabrowski
Yeah, I'm sick of these doctors running around everywhere. What are the. What's the other big update?
Ed Larson
Well, the big. I mean, for me.
Henry Zabrowski
Oh, yes. You have a huge upd.
Ed Larson
Cato the whale. Cato the killer whale has died in Spain at the Tenerife Zoo. If you remember, Cato.
Henry Zabrowski
Tenerife.
Ed Larson
Tenerife. You've been there.
Henry Zabrowski
No, I just know it's pen.
Ed Larson
Okay, well, Ko was. Remember he was featured in part two of the Horrors of SeaWorld series. He was the orca that killed trainer Alexis Martinez on Christmas Eve 2009 at Lauro Parquet. And yeah, it was a. It was a. You bit him. He bit him. He rammed him against the concrete and stuff. Cato had a very. Had a 29 year old, rough life.
Henry Zabrowski
Yeah, he was like. I didn't know that he was forced to sleep with his cousin.
Ed Larson
Yes, they all are, kind of.
Henry Zabrowski
But he said specifically it was like an incestuous thing that really shouldn't happen that he was his cousin for a while. I mean like, you know, if you're not choosing to your cousin. I think that's even worse when you're.
Ed Larson
In a cell with only your cousin.
Henry Zabrowski
Well, you know, I would automatically my cousin just because I'm in a cell with her.
Ed Larson
No, I'm not saying you maybe an animal though.
Henry Zabrowski
Yeah, I guess.
Ed Larson
But you'd probably do it anyway, so.
Henry Zabrowski
I don't think my cousins are all men.
Ed Larson
Yeah. Cato was born in SeaWorld, lived his entire life in captivity and spent it was sold overseas and in the wild. We know a male can live up to 60 years old. And Cato had a very rough life. And his necropsy was taken care of by 21 vets, I believe.
Henry Zabrowski
Geez. Where they just all in one go. They all took different parts of them.
Ed Larson
Well, you have to cut them up because you can't just take a 6,600 pound whale and just toss them in the back of a truck.
Henry Zabrowski
What a fucking day.
Ed Larson
Yeah, imagine that.
Henry Zabrowski
What?
Ed Larson
It's just like you love this thing.
Henry Zabrowski
And now we got years sawed to pieces.
Ed Larson
Imagine if that's how we had to get rid of our own.
Henry Zabrowski
Nothing would make me happier like if I just had to go like when my father finally passes that I have to go to just being like, well, unfortunately, here's Mr. Zabrowski Jr. Here's the government hacksaw that you will use to separate your father's limbs to get him in our new space saver economy caskets. Oh well.
Ed Larson
Shout out. We love you, Cato. Have a good death.
Henry Zabrowski
We see. It's hard for me. I'm not gonna like Cato obviously killed. Cato's a murderer. But that was also Cato's life.
Ed Larson
It was a training exercise and the SeaWorld trainers were shipped in to do it on Christmas Eve. And this poor Alexis Martinez died one of their best swimmers.
Henry Zabrowski
I know orcas hate working on vacation. So they flipped out. They really, they flipped out. And I'd say big ups to ko. I hope you're up there feeding them a whale blubber to the Icelandics that are in heaven. Wouldn't that be crazy? Would you get up to heaven as a whale and you should immediately get hunted by all the Vikings there.
Ed Larson
You know, I think they have their.
Henry Zabrowski
Own heaven I'd like to think so.
Ed Larson
Yeah.
Henry Zabrowski
I talked about this morning with my therapist about how dogs have little consciousnesses. And I wonder, I don't know if necessarily even I won't burden them with a soul, but I would say to them they do have little minds.
Ed Larson
They are different. Yeah, they definitely different. Yeah. Yeah. But I don't think there's much going on in Tootsie's head these days.
Henry Zabrowski
No, Tootsie's Tootsie is.
Ed Larson
She's barking and coughing for attention.
Henry Zabrowski
She's a reminder of all of us. Tootsie reminds us of like, you know, when they wheel out the 102 year old, like the last living World War II vet or the last living Korean. Yeah. And they wheel him out and he's got like 90 medals on a little hat and he's like. And he's saying horrible stuff under his breath. All the different slurs that he learned back in the day and he can't say anymore, but he thinks he's back then.
Ed Larson
Yeah.
Henry Zabrowski
You know, I mean, in his mind that's what Tootsie is like. Tootsie reminds us to feel guilt about being alive.
Ed Larson
Tootsie almost got sprayed by Agent Orange. That's how old she is.
Henry Zabrowski
Wow.
Ed Larson
Yeah.
Henry Zabrowski
17, man. Who are these old people you're showing us, Rob? These are Tootsie in human form. Yes. These are literally looking at a pile of Tootsies. God help me, man.
Ed Larson
117, man.
Henry Zabrowski
Rambo's 91, 122 year old woman, Jan Calmette with that big old cigarette and a glass of champagne in her hands. God love her.
Ed Larson
Yeah.
Henry Zabrowski
That chick was blowing people before World War II and that's amazing.
Ed Larson
122 years old. Wow.
Henry Zabrowski
Wow. She's dead, though.
Ed Larson
Okay, good.
Henry Zabrowski
Yeah, she's dead.
Ed Larson
Thank God. Oh, yeah.
Henry Zabrowski
This is a while ago.
Ed Larson
Wow.
Henry Zabrowski
No, it wasn't.
Ed Larson
No, she's alive.
Henry Zabrowski
Wow. July 2024.
Ed Larson
Yeah, she's going, dude, she's a Madame.
Henry Zabrowski
Madame Gion Carmel.
Ed Larson
We have like a half up.
Henry Zabrowski
Do we cut her open and we check her rings? How do we even know you're just.
Ed Larson
Living in the redwoods?
Henry Zabrowski
She died in 97.
Ed Larson
Oh, she died in 97?
Henry Zabrowski
Yeah.
Ed Larson
Oh, well then who gives?
Henry Zabrowski
Yeah.
Ed Larson
All right, so here's. I just want to talk about this briefly, but Lyle Menendez.
Henry Zabrowski
Oh, we'll talk about this slightly.
Ed Larson
Slightly, yes.
Henry Zabrowski
Because we have not talked about any of the stuff. I think it's so funny that we have not talked about any of the stuff for the Menendez brothers, especially now that The LA district attorney lost his election. He was the big champion to try to get the Menendez brothers out. Yeah, he's gone now. So we have no idea what's going to happen with them. But it just shows that like even in jail, television makes you a bad person.
Ed Larson
Yeah.
Henry Zabrowski
Lyle Menendez is breaking up with his year of his wife of 21 years.
Ed Larson
Yeah.
Henry Zabrowski
From jail.
Ed Larson
From jail.
Henry Zabrowski
She has been his champion fighting for.
Ed Larson
While he's been in prison this entire time. He's bald now.
Henry Zabrowski
He's jacked. Let's just say Lyle looks really good. I don't know how you get supplements in prison, but he looks like he's getting them. He looks younger now than when he went in. She, because she was fighting for him, she was trying to get. Do all this kind of for him. And how does he thank her? He cheats on her with a younger.
Ed Larson
Woman, 21 year old.
Henry Zabrowski
How did this even happen?
Ed Larson
Now he's divorcing her and he's going to marry the 21 year old from prison.
Henry Zabrowski
It's from prison. Men are dogs. Here's, here's all it shows that men are fucking dogs. Dude.
Ed Larson
Lyle Menendez has a Facebook post that says, guys, this is not a cheating scandal.
Henry Zabrowski
Oh, it's not?
Ed Larson
Yeah.
Henry Zabrowski
Why is he on Facebook?
Ed Larson
I think it's, I think it's his girlfriend.
Henry Zabrowski
Oh, yes, that is his guess it is from his wife. His wife.
Ed Larson
His wife. Lyle and I have been separated for a while now, but remain best friends and family.
Henry Zabrowski
You weren't divorced yet. That's a cheat. That's technically cheating.
Ed Larson
I continue to run his Facebook page with input from him and I'm forever committed to the enduring fight for Lyle and Eric's freedom and has been so evident for so many years. So maybe she likes it. No.
Henry Zabrowski
Cook it to the fucking curb, girl. Like, this is ridiculous. This is you, you. It just move on. It's her job now. Yeah, she could try to get the new prison dick when it's all done.
Ed Larson
And she, she ends it by saying, I will never stop fighting for them. Please continue to join us in this fight.
Henry Zabrowski
It's not you anymore, lady. You're out. New chicks in. And it's the new chick just going to be the new.
Ed Larson
It's like, is it Millie Buxy is her name. The new. The 21 year old student?
Henry Zabrowski
Do you think it's just because his wife's just a bummer and she's always like prisoners rights all day long and then finally gets this new chick who's like saying like fun Cool stuff, Riz.
Ed Larson
I mean, hopefully she was finally like, I need to a human. We've been together for so long.
Henry Zabrowski
You don't think they didn't have an arrangement?
Ed Larson
They had to have had some kind of arrangement.
Henry Zabrowski
Yeah. So I don't think it's about dick. Women are. Women are different.
Ed Larson
They are different in that way, maybe. Well, not every human is different.
Henry Zabrowski
Every human is different, but on a. If you look at it though, it's different.
Ed Larson
I guess so.
Henry Zabrowski
I feel like. Because they got apparatuses that can make them so much more satisfied than any human could ever do. You know what I mean? All they got to do is they.
Ed Larson
Get that as paratuses. What aspirations as to asses. That's what Lyle has.
Henry Zabrowski
You're talking about prison sex.
Ed Larson
Prison sex.
Henry Zabrowski
But I think that he's honestly, he's looking happy. He's the luckiest man.
Ed Larson
He's holding his 21 year old girlfriend.
Henry Zabrowski
He's loving her. He is loving her, I guess because then she can fight for the next 20 years.
Ed Larson
Yeah.
Henry Zabrowski
You know what I mean? So he can keep leveling up. Like he can do the Leonardo DiCaprio thing from jail. It just shows.
Ed Larson
You could shoot your mother in the face with a shotgun still too. Women who will love you from prison.
Henry Zabrowski
That's. That's.
Ed Larson
That is just like.
Henry Zabrowski
It is not.
Ed Larson
You can do anything.
Henry Zabrowski
Bars in hell. That's what they say. The bar is in hell, you know. And we talked about this on one of our update episodes. But I will say my opinion about the Menendez brothers case, and I will say this here is that I have come around to the idea that their father was a serial abuser. Yeah, he was a serial abuser. And I do believe that they were abused in. At some point during their lives.
Ed Larson
Yes.
Henry Zabrowski
But I do believe that it sets a bad precedent to make it legal for them to kill for revenge in retribution. Because I do believe that the mother was killed in cold blood and that if you just wanted to kill the father, you could have done it. And I would have believed it if it happened five years before that. It was in direct fear for their lives. And so the fact that it wasn't. It's one of those where I still feel like it sets a bad precedent. But I am also for people being rehabilitated, I think that the point of jail should be to get you out of jail at some point.
Ed Larson
Well, this is their prison, not jail. Yes, but the. Yeah, no, it should be to. Yes. If this whole rehabilitation thing is a thing at all.
Henry Zabrowski
Yeah. If it's a thing at all. They should be prime candidates for something like that.
Ed Larson
Almost ready to get out.
Henry Zabrowski
I mean, just look at his abs. If you just decided innocence by. By fucking getting cut and access to creatine. Lyle Menendez is more innocent than the fucking Pope. He is hot. He is. Look, I don't know how he got so. How is he so cut in jail?
Ed Larson
Well, that's what I do is dips and sit ups.
Henry Zabrowski
But I feel like. But it's still eating isn't most of what I heard. What people keep telling me why I look like fucking shit even though I'm in the gym four days a week is that it's about what you eat and what you drink.
Ed Larson
Henry, you are a pierogi of a person. I'm really sorry to break it to you like this. You're only gonna get so cut.
Henry Zabrowski
I don't want to be cut.
Ed Larson
I don't think it's. I don't think it's like. It's only gonna happen.
Henry Zabrowski
I'm just getting larger. I'm working out four days a week and I'm just. My shirts, nothing's fitting. And I don't think I look necessarily good. I just think I'm just getting wider.
Ed Larson
You're never gonna have abs.
Henry Zabrowski
No, I don't want that. No. I will never have abs. I know. I'll never. That's not what I want.
Ed Larson
You're not going to get the cum gutters.
Henry Zabrowski
I just want to be smaller. Slightly smaller and harder.
Ed Larson
Yes. As you're like. Should we have. What should our second meat be? Lamb or.
Henry Zabrowski
That's the Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving we have lamb and turkey. We have two meats. Because there's a carnivore. There's a carnivore surplus in our friend group. That is the truth.
Ed Larson
It's Thanksgiving. You're doing great, buddy.
Henry Zabrowski
You.
Ed Larson
You're doing great.
Henry Zabrowski
Why. Why did Ly Mendez look so good?
Ed Larson
He always looked good.
Henry Zabrowski
He didn't look that good.
Ed Larson
He always looked good.
Henry Zabrowski
He was a child. Now he's fucking.
Ed Larson
Look at him.
Henry Zabrowski
He's jacked. Yeah, but how does he get the proper protein?
Ed Larson
Know what you should do? Kill your parents.
Henry Zabrowski
I've gotten close. I've gotten close. I see. I see that. Lyle Menendez body work plan. And I wonder if I should get him to get a lot of reading done. I'll find out a lot about the mystique of Islam. I really would love prison. I gotta go. I do want to completely. I want to slightly talk about. We're going to do an entire episode dedicated to this. It was going to be this week, but we had a little bit of snafus with schedule. But because of that, it actually, the episode got much better. But I want to talk a little bit about the UAP conference that happened, I believe, two weeks ago.
Ed Larson
Yeah. What happened exactly? This. This came out right when Investigation Alien popped up, and I started watching that, and then I couldn't even concentrate on whatever this huge development in. There was a.
Henry Zabrowski
Well, they talk about this as court case. Yes. Basically, it always has to sound way more complicated than is, so that you won't understand. So this story came out. This was November 13th of this year. Two weeks ago, they did the House Oversight Committee.
Ed Larson
And your silence was deafening.
Henry Zabrowski
Deafening. I know, because I wanted to save it. But now it's time. I'll go through it a little bit. Yeah, they did a. A report. The. So originally in March, so March of this year, the Pentagon had issued a report saying that there's been no evidence of extraterrestrial spacecraft. Right. So. And you trust them, right? Oh, always, because they always tell us exactly what they think about themselves, and they're super, super, like on the ball.
Ed Larson
Not since a spaceship hit them on September 11, 2001, had they dealt with it.
Henry Zabrowski
Oh, yes. Now, the. The is who was led by. There was a man by name, Mr. Gold. There was Lou Elizondo and Michael Schellenberg. Now, they reported. They brought forth this report, which was an independent study within the US Government looking for what they are ostensibly saying is what they call a usap, which is an unspecified special access program. Now, what this means is black ops stuff. So this is money, Congressional money that is put in some giant budget, and they can't find out exactly where this money is assigned. That's kind of what this. What they're trying to figure out is are they misappropriating funds and are they not looping Congress in on what they're doing? That's why they had this oversight committee. And what happened was that it revealed, according to whistleblowers from within the government, that there used to be several programs. First, it was aro. There was all SAP. If you've listened to any one of us talk about. These are the. What they call the UAP investigation, essentially bureaus. Their goal was to go through every single bit of recorded sightings, things that they have pulled from all these different sources from the Navy, from the Air Force, video, different, you know, readings from machines, like all this kind of stuff, Right?
Ed Larson
Yeah.
Henry Zabrowski
And their jobs were to sort of Collate it and essentially figure out how can we make material and technology from this stuff? Like, okay, if they're aliens, how can we use their stuff? For us, that's the main thing. That's why we're spending money on it. Is it a national threat and can we do anything with it? And so when it revealed this, the. The oversight committee, what it revealed was that there is a new group, and it's called Immaculate Constellation, which sounds like a fucking anime, but it is the name of the new in group within the in group, which they called the Umbrella Group, where a bunch of smaller umbrella groups are underneath that one.
Ed Larson
Do you think this is them trying to put God into aliens by calling it Immaculate Constellation?
Henry Zabrowski
They do winks at it because it's kind of the opposite. They're trying to take the God out of it because a lot of our generals and our military, a lot of them are evangelical, a lot of them are Christian. And so they actually are the ones putting God into it because they're afraid of the phenomena. They think it's demonic. They think it's literally of devil.
Ed Larson
Then it would be coming from the earth instead of the sky.
Henry Zabrowski
Yes. They don't know we're learning this. So what Immaculate Constellation is saying is that they have something like multiple million of terabytes of 4k straight up. Like the most clear footage you can see of UFOs, that we have telemetries, we have all this stuff and it's hidden. We're not showing it anywhere. And that we also actively know that there are ships in the sky that are retroactively built by other programs within the United States government and China and Russia, stuff like these triangles. So they're saying the stuff that we've been saying as theories for many years, it's real. But that these triangles are government made and they are made to ape UAPs. And that all the stories of UAPs, they bring up the jellyfish. I know you're.
Ed Larson
You don't.
Henry Zabrowski
Don't believe in the jellyfish.
Ed Larson
Ridiculous.
Henry Zabrowski
I know, but they bring. It's in there. The jellyfish are in there.
Ed Larson
It looks like the ship is falling apart.
Henry Zabrowski
They brought up a series of cubes. It was a. No, a series of orbs that traveled in a 4x4 cube formation. That was very interesting. The one where they said they found a giant circular UFO hidden inside of a cloud bank. Okay, that was very interesting.
Ed Larson
Very nope.
Henry Zabrowski
Very nope. But what did we not get anything single picture or a piece of this information?
Ed Larson
This is why I hate this shit. Well, there's all these promises for my entire life? Yes, promises.
Henry Zabrowski
Well, I think that it. What we're seeing here is the US Government does not necessarily want to say that we are spending billions of dollars trying to understand this stuff in the sky. That is not necessarily a threat. We don't know what it's doing.
Ed Larson
Then why can't we trace the money?
Henry Zabrowski
Because they, it's also, it's. This is the issue is what they're one of the. Where's the money going? Who is benefiting?
Ed Larson
Yeah.
Henry Zabrowski
And we don't really know. This is the problem is that like how expensive is it to collate all this data? Like, we know that Immaculate Constellation has a type of AI that they use that sweeps the archives of all of these intelligence groups and they pull the best of the best from all of these footages into one giant file. Like they don't take it from them, but they copy it. So they have like proprietary software that is doing this and they are organizing this data. Like, that was what's really one of the interesting things about the breakdown from Immaculate Constellation was the breakdown of, of UFO types. What they've seen, what they've done over and over again. It's really interesting. Like they go from triangles to boomerangs to orbs to jellyfish to what they call natural. Yeah, Tic tacs are considered essentially orbs. But then they go to natural, which is no implants. I mean they bounce. But no, they go the naturals, which is like they look like weird, like amorphous shapes and stuff like that. But it's interesting in the fact that these people might get shot in the head or arrested if they tell this information. That's why it's so hard, is that they're up against a wall of red tape that says, you are guilty of treason if this stuff gets out. And treason, because it's considered to be the top, top, top secret technology that we have in our very last back pocket.
Ed Larson
So is that us then? Did we make this stuff? And that's why it's treason.
Henry Zabrowski
We don't know. We don't know. That's basically what they're. They are alluding to. So somehow these objects know where our stuff is at all times. You know, like, because there's a possibility.
Ed Larson
They'Re from the future.
Henry Zabrowski
Who knows the Tic Tac when they take the Tic TAC sighting from December 2017, when we saw that video of the Tic Tac, when that went out by the ships, those ships had been there for two weeks. All of a Sudden, this Tic Tac arrives. They said the only way they can really describe David Fravor, who came upon the Tic Tac. The only way you could describe sort of the reaction the Tic Tac had was that it was almost like it was surprised to see him there. It stopped dead in its tracks and then went opposite direction, came back, followed the plane at the exact same speed, then boinked, disappeared. And they were like, all right, what do we do now? They moved on to the next location of their. Whatever they were working on. Because then they go to another, like, collection point. Tic Tacs there waiting for them already. It's very. We don't know what the hell it is, but it's interested in us. And it might be either. It seems like there's a physical part of it that is mimicking what we do. And then some of it is our stuff and we're making it look like UAPs.
Ed Larson
Now why doesn't we have like, I don't know, Snowden or Julian Assange or Anonymous fucking hack it and find this shit?
Henry Zabrowski
Because it's. I think it's largely physical. I think they keep it off of these databases, and most of these databases aren't connected to the Internet as you know it. They're connected into intra, like land based, like, they don't go out. It's hard to get their own Internet. I think that this information is extremely difficult to get. And it's also think that it's absolutely covered in misinformation and disinformation for the last 50, 60 years. So I think a lot of it's also. You got really good stuff mixed in with a bunch of fiction. So I think that that has also been a true one fake thing.
Ed Larson
It's all fake.
Henry Zabrowski
It muddies the whole. It destroys the whole batch.
Ed Larson
Yeah.
Henry Zabrowski
So that's kind of, I think, how they do that, which is. And then think about every single time you, you know, I love you, you and Marcus, but I show you guys the footage and everybody says it's fake, which I do understand it looks silly, but if you go on the Internet, it's the same thing. Every single piece of every. As soon as they put it out, everybody destroys it on its own. So what they have figured out is that we can just have the Internet and people debunk this stuff because they just want to. They don't want to believe it. So that's one way to maybe already destroy it and then. Or putting out the things that are purposely false, the things that you don't See in this jellyfish video that Rob is now showing for you again, this.
Ed Larson
Famous video, a meatball covered in spaghetti.
Henry Zabrowski
Dude, it's. This is real. This is real. This jellyfish. And then what you don't see is eventually this thing sliding in the water with no splash and then coming back up.
Ed Larson
Yeah.
Henry Zabrowski
So that's the other. One of the other big revelations is just, just they are in the water and we don't know why they're in the water. We don't know what they do. We don't know what they come from. We don't know what their purpose are. We don't know if the US government is actively working with alien intelligences. Probably not. I think that if they can't work with Marco Rubio, I don't know if they can work with an alien necessarily. You know, like you can't work with other normal stupid ass Congress. Then how the fuck are we going to work with aliens?
Ed Larson
Well, maybe Trump will just deport him.
Henry Zabrowski
Eddie, you. Oh, Eddie. That's a funny Jimmy Kimmel joke. You take it down the street. Take it down the street. That's my little.
Ed Larson
For Kimmel.
Henry Zabrowski
I mean, we all would. It's easy. It's easy. Just cry. I like him. I like him.
Ed Larson
All right, so what else is going on? Oh, do you have any more update? Those are all our updates.
Henry Zabrowski
I mean, it's not even an update. I feel like, oh, this first story is really up.
Ed Larson
All right, let me do Alien News is an update.
Henry Zabrowski
Yeah. For us.
Ed Larson
Yeah.
Henry Zabrowski
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Henry Zabrowski
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Ed Larson
Okay.
Henry Zabrowski
By some sources. And I think that's inappropriate.
Ed Larson
Daily Mail.
Henry Zabrowski
I think it's inappropriate, man.
Ed Larson
I used to love the Daily Mail. It's where I used to get my trash. But they've gotten pretty evil lately.
Henry Zabrowski
It's pretty bad. Yeah. That's what's good about it.
Ed Larson
They've up their evil.
Henry Zabrowski
Oh, yeah. Corey Burke was a. Is a young woman that murdered the living fuck out of her father. Timothy Burke, 67, with an un. Nice ax. And it seems that what happened was that she was pretty upset about the election. This is number November 5th. Police were dispatched to the area she lived at.
Ed Larson
Fuckers.
Henry Zabrowski
Yeah, be careful. Watch your power lesbian daughters. They're coming for you.
Ed Larson
You think they're all pacifists and some.
Henry Zabrowski
Of them get angry. They. So she had. Apparently she was trying to tell her father, her shut in father, Timothy, who was 67, was barely movable, moved in with her. So he was dependent on her. Right. So he was dependent on her. And he moved in. And all he did seem to be. He was. I'm going to do a little bit of victim blaming here and say that he was unpleasant. It sounds like. Sounds like he wasn't.
Ed Larson
People are unpleasant.
Henry Zabrowski
Of course, there's no excuse to murder him, obviously, but he was a. He was a Trump voter and he was very proud of how well the election was going that evening for him and would seem that she said that she was in a highly emotional state. And then at the end, when she'd won, wanted to go to bed early at 8pm he says he wasn't going to shut the lights off. He was going to continue to watch the election. She then proceeded to murder him. Hardcore. She flipped out. She choked him to death with the ice axe by throwing him down on the ground, choked him with the ice axe and then hacked at him a bunch of times. And he's dead. So he, she, she came at him hardcore.
Ed Larson
Wow.
Henry Zabrowski
Oh, yeah. And she said that she was upset. She first tried to say, I tripped. Tripped.
Ed Larson
Oh, I tripped and I. And I killed it with an ax.
Henry Zabrowski
Oh, I remember. You remember when, when the Menendez brothers tripped.
Ed Larson
Yeah.
Henry Zabrowski
Man, what a loud trip.
Ed Larson
Oh, my God.
Henry Zabrowski
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Ed Larson
There were lacerations 2 inches deep on his rib cage and signs of his asphyxiation. He also had several round bruises on the back of his head as well as several curved puncture wounds.
Henry Zabrowski
And sounds like that's what happened. I mean, you got to be careful. Careful.
Ed Larson
It was A small. It was like a. More of a hatchet. It was an ice pickaxe.
Henry Zabrowski
Yeah. It's what you used to, like, clear up ice on your car and like that, I believe.
Ed Larson
I think.
Henry Zabrowski
Or.
Ed Larson
Or for hiking, maybe.
Henry Zabrowski
Maybe. Either way, she.
Ed Larson
Either way, she used it and, you know, she seems nice. But not anymore.
Henry Zabrowski
This is why. I mean, Thanksgiving is coming up.
Ed Larson
Yeah.
Henry Zabrowski
And the politics are going to be more polarizing than ever this year.
Ed Larson
Yeah.
Henry Zabrowski
So that's why I'm telling you.
Ed Larson
Go get some white. Was it white Thorn Rose?
Henry Zabrowski
Oh, yeah. White Huckleberry Hill. You need that blueberry caviar. Yeah.
Ed Larson
The black caviar is not bad either.
Henry Zabrowski
You just need to chill.
Ed Larson
They ever live right before Thanksgiving? Every time, Just right. Do it right at the table, too.
Henry Zabrowski
Be like, as soon as.
Ed Larson
Yeah. They. They start talking about Trump. Just literally pull out a bowl or like just a bong. Right. The. Right. At the Thanksgiving table. Or like.
Henry Zabrowski
Yeah, you can just buy a nice ax at the hardware store.
Ed Larson
One or the other. And then put them next to each other.
Henry Zabrowski
You don't need a permit.
Ed Larson
Yeah.
Henry Zabrowski
You don't need a handler's license. You don't need to conceal anything. You can just buy that at the store.
Ed Larson
Yes.
Henry Zabrowski
And you can just equalize your family right there and then. I'm just saying, don't necessarily bring it to kill, but show them that you will.
Ed Larson
And she will die in prison.
Henry Zabrowski
Oh, yes. Yeah. She's going to just prison forever. I. I am going to say, looking at her haircut, she's not going to do well in there.
Ed Larson
Or. Great.
Henry Zabrowski
Yeah. I mean. Whoa. What's that one?
Ed Larson
That's her.
Henry Zabrowski
Is that why she was called the power lesbian? It's because of this picture of her. She looks smoking in this one. Yeah, well, she looks.
Ed Larson
I mean, she's an attractive person, you know?
Henry Zabrowski
You know, she'll do well. And now she. I mean, God, who knows, you know, but who knows?
Ed Larson
Good days, bad days, Good days, bad days.
Henry Zabrowski
Anywhere there. Good days, bad days, everywhere you go.
Ed Larson
Oh, yeah. But she is fucked.
Henry Zabrowski
Oh, yeah, she's fucked.
Ed Larson
Don't murder anybody. Just wait four years.
Henry Zabrowski
They just die. So just know. Okay. Yeah, you're right, Eddie. Don't murder people. Just know that the hate that drives the people you dislike the most is killing them slowly. And that that man at 67 was not. Maybe he wasn't that pleasant, but you could see about how he was driven to go back. He had to crawl back to his daughter's house to go live there. And that's the ult Revenge is getting the control back and then you traumatize him back. Right. That's what you got to do. Take control of the narrative. Make it scary for him.
Ed Larson
Her.
Henry Zabrowski
I mean, make it scary for the. For the people that are fucking hardcore coming at you.
Ed Larson
Wow. Her wife is an editor at Conde Nast transgender news website.
Henry Zabrowski
Them Fancy.
Ed Larson
Yes.
Henry Zabrowski
Very fancy. Wow. She then challenging, stated that she knew that it needed to happen today and knew that there was something important about election day day. She explained that she had just been Reborn on her 33rd birthday last month. Oh. She might have been having some other mental issues.
Ed Larson
Deep mental.
Henry Zabrowski
Oh, yeah. You don't really just kill somebody over an election. The alleged killer went on to say that she, quote, wanted to help people change their attachment to their parents, but felt hyper focused and disorganized when it came to her own attachments to her father.
Ed Larson
Yeah.
Henry Zabrowski
And it's the most like McSweeney's way of explaining why you murdered your father with an ax. That's pretty good. Yeah, that's pretty good. You know, I was working on my attachment style. I'm going to say that more often.
Ed Larson
There's another irrational murder in the news. A woman in Virginia upset over a botched pizza order got her husband to allegedly stab and disembowel a worker who was arguing with her about it.
Henry Zabrowski
This is important. All right? This is. This is important, guys. All right? So this is. Obviously, this is a senseless murder and it's absolutely horrible. But you know what this really is about? It's about a husband anticipating the needs of his wife. And the fact that a husband a lot of times is tasked to do. You might even concede. You might even consider sometimes, and I'm not saying this about my beautiful wife or your beautiful wife at all. Sometimes a husband is tasked to do something he doesn't want to do.
Ed Larson
Yeah.
Henry Zabrowski
And he's told to do it. Right. And he's told. And he's told in a way to do it. That, you know, that stuff's on the line.
Ed Larson
Yeah.
Henry Zabrowski
Right. To do it. And then you be. And you don't want to do it. You don't want to drive across.
Ed Larson
No.
Henry Zabrowski
You don't want to do the thing that they're asking you to do. But it's like. But I'm going to say right now, as a husband, it's important. Sometimes you got to do those things. Right. Every once in a while. Because it's important to show. Because that's how you get them back.
Ed Larson
Yeah, right.
Henry Zabrowski
They get them to do it back. Like if you got in our. On a marriage or in our marriage policies that we try to say yes to each other, we try to make sure we accommodate for each other, we try to help each other.
Ed Larson
See, I give a lot of.
Henry Zabrowski
I don't know, you see that helps. She passes you in, right? And so Katherine Harper, the lady, she told her husband to handle the situation and her husband. All right, because I don't know how badly this pizza was. Pizza was botched, right?
Ed Larson
Mod Pizza, if you ever been there, man. They used to have an outdoor open mic at the Mod Pizza next to the old studio and used to ruin my recordings. So I get being angry at these fuckers.
Henry Zabrowski
Oh yeah, dude, it's bad pizza.
Ed Larson
Yeah, but this 47 year old Corey Harper. Harper took his wife's. Katherine Harper's handle the situation words too Hart. When he stabbed a 24 year old.
Henry Zabrowski
Employee seven several times in the back and the front and then slit their belly open to reveal their intestines. Now again, as a man, horrible, horrible crime. As a husband that's going above and beyond. And that is the kind of commitment role way to do it. But that's the kind of commitment we as husbands need to show our significant others. Yes. And yeah. How high. Oh, handle the problem. I want to see his fucking guts. Oh, Bernadette won't take over your shift for the weekend so we could go see Wicked like you want to before it's spoiled by your dumb ass friends. Guess what? I'm gonna go put her in a car all weekend. I'm gonna lock her up in a garage all weekend. Man. That's a husband taking care of for his wife.
Ed Larson
This is the mod. The pizza. Mod Pizza.
Henry Zabrowski
Wow. Here he comes rolling and he's not happy.
Ed Larson
Oh, okay.
Henry Zabrowski
Wow. Just moments before. Moments before. He's got the white. He's got the white LMFAO sunglasses.
Ed Larson
No, that's an employee.
Henry Zabrowski
Am I flipping this back and forth?
Ed Larson
Yeah, the guys on the other side of the counter. Wow.
Henry Zabrowski
You. Wow, he's got like a little.
Ed Larson
Yeah, no, he looks normal. Yeah, he looks.
Henry Zabrowski
He's like a vest on, like a suede vest.
Ed Larson
No, he's well dressed.
Henry Zabrowski
Yeah. Why is he so well dressed?
Ed Larson
It looks like he just. It was recently his birthday and his clothes were bought for him by his wife.
Henry Zabrowski
Well, no, you look.
Ed Larson
They're definitely Macy's bought.
Henry Zabrowski
Why is he so fancy dressed? This is a nice place.
Ed Larson
It's not fancy. No vest and a shirt and glasses.
Henry Zabrowski
For a guy who disembowels A pizza maker.
Ed Larson
Yeah.
Henry Zabrowski
No, he's very well dressed.
Ed Larson
He's definitely not happy about it. But said the victim, what's wrong with the pizza?
Henry Zabrowski
That's what I want to know. How batch was the. If, like, this is the thing. How botched was the pizza? Did it just say your wife's a content pepperoni on it?
Ed Larson
Yeah.
Henry Zabrowski
You're like, what's the botched about it?
Ed Larson
I think that the guy lived, by the way.
Henry Zabrowski
Wow. Whoa. This is a big old fight, dude.
Ed Larson
Oh, yeah. I was.
Henry Zabrowski
This is a big fight. No, it turned. What in the living. Fuck. How could this possibly be about pizza?
Ed Larson
She told him to go handle the situation.
Henry Zabrowski
Handle the situation.
Ed Larson
And then it's all. Then the rest of the fight happens off camera here.
Henry Zabrowski
Well, yeah, because he's getting stabbed a bunch. Yeah. The guy's backing up because the guy's got a knife.
Ed Larson
Yeah. Oh, and this is him leaving after.
Henry Zabrowski
The guy's just leaving, man. Wow. Just leaving, huh? Wow. No reaction. Oh, he had a knife in his back pocket.
Ed Larson
He also brandished a gun, too.
Henry Zabrowski
Wow. He had both.
Ed Larson
Yeah.
Henry Zabrowski
Wow. Really quite armed for the pizza store door.
Ed Larson
Yeah. And you left. I mean, tensions run high with pizza and.
Henry Zabrowski
Do you mean the moments before Natalie gets her pizza?
Ed Larson
Yeah.
Henry Zabrowski
Is when I'm most afraid. You know what I mean? That anger that comes. But anger before pizza is one of the most powerful. Just scary emotions.
Ed Larson
As of now, the victim is still alive.
Henry Zabrowski
Great.
Ed Larson
Yeah. Which is great. My parents almost got divorced over a boxed pizza order.
Henry Zabrowski
Wow.
Ed Larson
I remember it was after we saw Mrs. Doubtfire.
Henry Zabrowski
Sure. And my dad, he was thinking about divorce.
Ed Larson
Yeah. Yeah. I was like, well, actually. Or dressing like a woman. And my.
Henry Zabrowski
I might have gotten some stuff out of his system or something. Like it would have been helpful for him.
Ed Larson
And my dad wanted sausage and my mom wanted mushroom. And I remember we had my buddy Corey with us. We were driving. He. Corey was going to sleep over that night. And my. My dad got the sausage, even though my mom wanted the mushroom. And then she was like, jerry, you piece of. I want you sucking. You don't care about us. You care.
Henry Zabrowski
It's like she's in the room. Yeah.
Ed Larson
Then my dad took the pizza and he threw it on the ground.
Henry Zabrowski
Whoa.
Ed Larson
And then he said this. And he started to. And he started to walk home and. And then my mom yelled at him all the way. And then we sped off. And then an hour later, he showed up home after she made him walk all the way home. And then they didn't get divorced that day. They got Divorced when he did other bad stuff. But the.
Henry Zabrowski
But he was really stressed out.
Ed Larson
Yeah. But you can just get two pizzas.
Henry Zabrowski
Just get two pizzas.
Ed Larson
Just get 2 pizzas.
Henry Zabrowski
Have peace in your home.
Ed Larson
Yeah. And you can't get mushroom on one side and sausage on the other. Sausage comes over. The flavor comes over.
Henry Zabrowski
It's just too much.
Ed Larson
It mixed in the box. You need two pizzas. Get a small mushroom or something.
Henry Zabrowski
It's pizza.
Ed Larson
Yeah.
Henry Zabrowski
Like it's not that bad. It's not. It's not the most expensive. This is in.
Ed Larson
See, I think this is why I like both my two favorite pizzas are sausage and mushroom. So I think this is just like a defense mechanism on why my two favorite pizzas. I'm like, I like both the pizzas. Mom and dad, please stay together.
Henry Zabrowski
So sad. Wow, that's really sad. And they didn't. No, no. They saw you like, and they saw you down and be like, I gotta get away from this little bastard.
Ed Larson
They got divorced on my 20th birthday.
Henry Zabrowski
Oh, nice. That's actually nice. That's fine. Then that means it wasn't your fault.
Ed Larson
No, no. I was long.
Henry Zabrowski
If it's. Yeah. If it's. Unfortunately, and I'm sorry. If you're under 10 listening to this, if you get divorced, then if your.
Ed Larson
Parents are going bye byes, it's your fault.
Henry Zabrowski
You did it. You provided the stress that made them break up. And they're going to say that it's not your fault, but it is. All right, but you're not listening to this and you better not be. If you're under 10 and you're listening to this, it's bad and you're making.
Ed Larson
Your parents miserable and, and, but if you do, if you can take. There's a little plastic thing in your mom's purse and if you can grab that and go to last podcast on.
Henry Zabrowski
A left.com meanings and the first numbers you're looking for is like 3712. You're looking for.
Ed Larson
That's an American Express.
Henry Zabrowski
Get the silver one.
Ed Larson
Yeah.
Henry Zabrowski
Get the silver always goes through.
Ed Larson
Yeah.
Henry Zabrowski
So if you could just do that. Just make sure you go for the big one ever. The most important looking card. You just read those.
Ed Larson
And if you're. If you're in the UK it works as well. We have a UK merch.
Henry Zabrowski
Yeah, it really does.
Ed Larson
But make sure you choose the UK merch store. Store. And not the US merch store because.
Henry Zabrowski
It won't go to you.
Ed Larson
Yeah.
Henry Zabrowski
This is. We're finally becoming soupy sales. This is how we do grassroots. This is grassroots merch or advertising. And outside for some listener emails. All right, I have a listener email. I got a little bit of pushback because we were slightly callous about that VR thing with the Korean mother. I still don't feel anything. People were upset, but I do think it's funny. I do think I get why you're upset. But also, I don't know what to tell you.
Ed Larson
We talk about all kinds of horrible.
Henry Zabrowski
We did six hour of Joseph Fritzel material.
Ed Larson
No one complained.
Henry Zabrowski
No. So that's fine. But mostly we. I get it.
Ed Larson
Yes. We.
Henry Zabrowski
We react to madness.
Ed Larson
Sheer insanity.
Henry Zabrowski
Well, it's high emotion. So I feel like watching someone react like that. Like, I understand that this woman is traumatized and it's traumatizing to see, but there is something about this idea of having a VR, like, meeting of a loved one in a VR thing is an uncanny Valley style that I just don't. Of existence. That I just don't. I can't wrap my head around. That would not make me feel better what that person went through. But I got a great feedback about other VR abominations because it is. I have friends. My buddy Chris Brown, who did all the puppets for your Pretty Face is going to hell. He's a genius. I'm so worried for my friend. No, yeah, my friend Chris Brown. Him, Jeff, Robert, Kelly. Yeah, my buddies. My friends Sean Combs, you know, my guys. You guys. I'm always with the guys who I go hang out with. Ortho James, you know, I love Ornate or Dog Away Back. But Chris Brown, he lives in the VR when he's not working, he's in his VR world. And I know that there's a lot of VR stuff that is. We're way outside right now. You mean, like, we don't know how deep VR has gotten. So here we go. So we talked about horrible sex fantasy creation, but it's already there. You see, the popular metaverse platform, VRChat is not only a quote unquote place with its own fascinating culture and history, it is also a breeding ground for every single crazy fetish and kink you can think of. And fetishes that were previously unimaginable before the VR era. You see, there's a practice called ERP, which stands for erotic roleplay. ERP has a large set of standardized software hardware, hardware, 3D models and hardware to make the experience as close to sex in the physical realm as possible.
Ed Larson
It's full demolition man.
Henry Zabrowski
Yeah. So they got dick sucker machines. They have all that stuff now they can tug on you, right? ERP enables people to have sexual experiences in a safe environment. It also enables literally any kind of sexual experience you could imagine. The only real limiting factor for what kind of fetish creations is the amount of time an artist would like to spend in janky software making their creation. Some people spend huge amounts of money and time on models, worlds and gadgets. These practices are frowned upon by the general community, but it does not stop private groups from hosting and in their their own ERP platforms. These groups are tightly organized with their own security and age verification systems. Their activities range from standard casual sex and to sex battle royale games to wilder events where people crank it to experiences of alien penile probe insertions while drowning inside of a tub or six titted spider giantesses vore where participants are swallowed and become the baby she is pregnant with.
Ed Larson
Every time people call me weird, I'm not doing any.
Henry Zabrowski
We're not weird.
Ed Larson
No, we're not weird.
Henry Zabrowski
We are surprisingly Milk toast. Yeah, we are surprisingly normal.
Ed Larson
Yeah, just a little brash.
Henry Zabrowski
We just say come.
Ed Larson
Yeah, ass, tits and shit.
Henry Zabrowski
That's what we say.
Ed Larson
But otherwise I'm the coral out there earping off.
Henry Zabrowski
Oh yeah, man. We need their lives allowed to. But wow. Thanksgiving is now here.
Ed Larson
Yes.
Henry Zabrowski
So I hope that you live every day knowing that carbs don't count on turkey day. And you're gonna love the fact that you get to eat as much as you want for a little while. You know, no one could judge you. Unless of course, you're Canadian or European. And that's dear. That's wrong. You're wrong. And I laugh at you, Europe and Canada that you can't have it because our Thanksgiving is probably, I'd say, the top American holiday.
Ed Larson
Oh yeah.
Henry Zabrowski
I'd say that it's a top American holiday. Yeah. And that you're chumps and you don't get it. And I'm glad that we get it.
Ed Larson
And God is definitely stooped at murder though.
Henry Zabrowski
Exactly.
Ed Larson
Yeah. It is definitely like, you know, there is some guilt it though.
Henry Zabrowski
I mean, I'm eating turkey.
Ed Larson
Every time I put it, I. I feel guilty until I pull that turkey out of the.
Henry Zabrowski
All I know is I'm thankful. I'm thankful for the turkey given his life. I'm thankful for the yams committing suicide so I can eat them.
Ed Larson
Are you going to use my gravy hack?
Henry Zabrowski
What with? Is that an ax or something? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Ed Larson
Because I take the turkey voted for Trump. No, the. The. My tip my gravy hack. For people out there. See, you don't cook a turkey the same way I do. When I cook a turkey, it's in a bunch of juices, and I'm.
Henry Zabrowski
What do you mean, though? I don't do that.
Ed Larson
You. You put yours on, like, a little pedestal, and it, like, there isn't as much juice.
Henry Zabrowski
Mine, I scribe baker based it.
Ed Larson
You baste it. But mine's, like, in a bunch of liquid.
Henry Zabrowski
Yeah, but I do like it. I like it perched on the thing so they can get the proper.
Ed Larson
Turkey's bad.
Henry Zabrowski
It's delicious.
Ed Larson
I love eating your turkey. I'm just saying, if you make it like I do and there's a bunch of veggies, you still get that juice.
Henry Zabrowski
Not.
Ed Larson
There's not nearly as much, but it's like, in mine's another course. It's carrots and celery.
Henry Zabrowski
Yeah, that's what I'm trying to do, too. Yeah, you could do it on the same.
Ed Larson
Yeah, but I'm just saying, if you take that juice with the carrots in the celery. Celery. And you put that in like, a blender or a robo.
Henry Zabrowski
That's how you get it going.
Ed Larson
Is a gravy hack.
Henry Zabrowski
Oh, yes. Very much.
Ed Larson
To not, like, have to do the thing where you got to whip it up real fast. That is a hack that I've done in the past that people really enjoy.
Henry Zabrowski
It, but I do kind of like it. I'm making hard stuffing your mom's way this year.
Ed Larson
Oh, you are? Yeah.
Henry Zabrowski
I'm gonna make it her way where it's got. It's up your ass.
Ed Larson
Hey, come on. You put meat in there, and then you put the turkey juice in it all day long.
Henry Zabrowski
That's what I'm gonna do. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Ed Larson
It's very good.
Henry Zabrowski
And then you make it.
Ed Larson
You can even do, like, sausage if you want.
Henry Zabrowski
I'm going make sure you get divorced when I'm putting sausage in there. I'm making pork messes. Yeah. You're not coming for dessert. You're only coming till dessert, so.
Ed Larson
Yeah, well, I mean, there will be food left over, I imagine. Remember when I did the Polish turkey and I stuffed it with kilasa? That was awesome.
Henry Zabrowski
That was good.
Ed Larson
Yeah. Yeah. Shout out. It was my mom's birthday yesterday.
Henry Zabrowski
Happy birthday, Mama Catherine.
Ed Larson
She would have been 74 years old. If you want to honor my mom, you can go watch our movie, How America Killed My Mother, directed by Travis Irvine. It's a. It's a great holiday watch if you want to cry you can go How America Kill My Mother dot com. The URL was still available. Also, don't forget, we are touring. We are hitting the road, dude. We're going to be in New York next. If Philly is sold out, go ahead and stand outside in the cold.
Henry Zabrowski
Yeah, you. Yeah, you missed. Yeah, but we.
Ed Larson
We'll probably come back to Philly soon.
Henry Zabrowski
Oh, very much so. Yeah.
Ed Larson
And then also we're going to be doing in January, Atlanta. There might be a side story show, it feels like.
Henry Zabrowski
So I want you to all know it's not fully set in stone, but I believe it is happening. Yeah, Dad's garage. We're going to be doing side stories. You're going to want to get your tickets for that immediately because it's going to be fully improvised. And we're not even going to be coming with stories. We're going to be taking suggestions from the audience itself.
Ed Larson
Is that what you want to do?
Henry Zabrowski
Yeah. Fully improvised.
Ed Larson
All right. So we're doing nowhere.
Henry Zabrowski
None.
Ed Larson
That's what he's declaring.
Henry Zabrowski
No, we're doing improvised shows.
Ed Larson
I mean, the show. The show at Humboldt was pretty improvised. We had topics. Yes. We did have a list of things we wanted to hit, but this time.
Henry Zabrowski
We'Re not gonna even do that. Wow. They are gonna tell us what to talk about.
Ed Larson
Okay. That's called improv. Did I what? And then there is them. In February, we're gonna be in Dallas. March, we're gonna be in Nashville at the Ryman, baby. Dude.
Henry Zabrowski
Cannot wait and cannot wait to be back.
Ed Larson
April, Detroit on the 18th and on the. And then Toronto in May. And then we're going to add some more dates, I believe.
Henry Zabrowski
Oh, very much so.
Ed Larson
Yeah. But we haven't done it yet. But keep your eye on last podcast on left.com to check all that out. Join our Patreon if you want to watch us talk to each other.
Henry Zabrowski
Yeah. Patreon.com podcast on the left also side.
Ed Larson
Stories comes out the video version two days afterwards on YouTube. So if you want to, like, hold out and watch, watch us do this stupid. You can do that as well.
Henry Zabrowski
Yes, of course.
Ed Larson
Yeah. And then all the great stuff that we do on LPN TV, it gets released on the YouTube. So go follow last podcast on the left on YouTube. Check out Hoopa. Google game. HGX2 is going to be on December 12th. That's going to be a lot of fun. We got a full. I got a whole. I got. Santa Claus is going to be there.
Henry Zabrowski
It's gonna be great.
Ed Larson
I got some Christmas music coming. The wonderful Cena Gaznavi's gonna be there.
Henry Zabrowski
It's gonna be.
Ed Larson
We're gonna have a great time. It's gonna be amazing. And what's gonna. The Good Pud Thanksgiving special just came out.
Henry Zabrowski
It's on YouTube. Go check it out. I think it's our best episode.
Ed Larson
It really. I watched the three second clip and I was just like with no sound and I was just cackling.
Henry Zabrowski
Yeah. I think it's literally our best episode. Yeah.
Ed Larson
So go check that out. It's amazing. We love you guys. Thank you for listening to side Story.
Henry Zabrowski
Yes, you Hail Satan and Hail Kato. Have fun. Fun on Thanksgiving. Don't be a. Let's not bring up the the the millennial genocide guilt.
Ed Larson
Smoke weed instead of drinking your family.
Henry Zabrowski
Smoke that weed.
Ed Larson
I can't stress this enough. They are. They matter less when you're high.
Henry Zabrowski
They do.
Ed Larson
Bye.
D
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Summary of "Side Stories: Pizza Problems" Episode from Last Podcast On The Left
Podcast Information:
In this gripping episode, hosts Henry Zabrowski and Ed Larson dive into a series of terrifying side stories that intertwine true crime with dark humor. Skipping the usual advertisements and introductions, they immediately engage listeners with chilling narratives and insightful commentary.
Henry recounts the bizarre tale of Dr. Stein, who, after being instructed by his HOA to remove a bush blocking a stop sign, replaced it with a giant rooster statue adorned with oversized balls. This cheeky act became a local sensation, blending humor with controversy.
Ed shares the somber news of Cato, a killer whale that died in Spain's Tenerife Zoo. Cato was infamous for killing trainer Alexis Martinez in 2009, marking a tragic end to his tumultuous life in captivity.
The hosts discuss recent developments in the Menendez brothers' case. With the Los Angeles district attorney losing the election, uncertainties loom over their legal proceedings. Notably, Lyle Menendez is divorcing his wife of 21 years to marry a 21-year-old woman from prison.
A terrifying account of Corey Burke, labeled a "power lesbian" by some sources, who brutally murdered her 67-year-old father with an ice axe following a botched pizza order during Election Day celebrations. The story underscores the extreme consequences of unchecked anger and domestic tensions.
The hosts narrate a harrowing incident in Virginia where a woman became so enraged over a poorly made pizza that she incited her husband to stab and disembowel a pizza worker. This story highlights how minor frustrations can escalate into unimaginable violence.
Henry and Ed explore the dark side of virtual reality, particularly focusing on VRChat's ERP (erotic roleplay) practices. They discuss how immersive technologies facilitate extreme and often disturbing fetishes, raising concerns about the implications for human behavior and societal norms.
Ed shares a personal story about his parents nearly divorcing over a mismatched pizza order, emphasizing how petty conflicts can strain familial bonds. The recount adds a relatable yet darkly humorous touch to the episode.
The conversation shifts to Thanksgiving traditions, focusing on turkey preparation hacks and the hosts' humorous takes on holiday stress and family dynamics.
The hosts announce upcoming shows that promise fully improvised sessions based on audience suggestions, enhancing listener engagement and participation.
They encourage listeners to join their Patreon for exclusive content and check out their YouTube channel for video releases, fostering a stronger connection with their audience.
As the episode draws to a close, Henry and Ed express their gratitude to listeners, reflect on the discussed topics, and tease future content. Their unique blend of dark storytelling, humor, and candid conversations leaves listeners both entertained and introspective.
"Side Stories: Pizza Problems" is a testament to Last Podcast On The Left's ability to intertwine true crime, dark humor, and personal anecdotes seamlessly. The episode navigates through gruesome murders triggered by everyday frustrations, technological concerns, and holiday dynamics, all while maintaining an engaging and conversational tone. New listeners can anticipate a captivating mix of horror, satire, and genuine discussion, making it a standout episode in the series.