
Eddie and Marcus bring you this week's weirdest stories and true crime news but first, the boys catch up after their subsequent Spring Break trips abroad, the gang sends love and thoughts to The Zebrowski Family, and then it's time for this week's stories - A 10th victim of Herb Baumeister identified through genealogy investigation, Austrian Mystery-Mummy found to be embalmed "via rectum", Pittsburgh funeral home owner charged for allegedly dumping "cremated" pets in landfill , Australian Lawnmower-Murder-Pilot secures major court win after judge grants bail, Ohio Police Body Cam captures Raccoon with Methpipe(s) during bizarre Traffic Stop, Black Bear kills 89 year old man in first ever Bear Attack-death in Florida, Bear Attacks... IN HISTORY, Florida woman killed as kayaking couple are attacked by an 11-foot Alligator, and lastly, on the flip side, Hollywood mourns the loss of famous silver-screen gator, star of Happy Gilmore, Interview with a Vampire, Eraser, Blues Brothers 2000...
Loading summary
Advertisement Speaker
Real businesses rely on Spectrum business for the fastest, most reliable Internet. Starting at $40 a month. When bundled and backed by the Spectrum commitment, get Internet speeds to fit your business needs. Starting at 500Mbps bundle with TV, phone and mobile. For more savings, level up your speed for a three year price guarantee. Find a bundle that is made for your business@spectrum.com business restrictions apply. Services not available in all areas.
Pacifico is a Mexican lager brood to be discovered. It's like fresh tracks on a powder day like that uncharted trail a stone's throw away like the perfect wave on a sunny day Pacifico. Find your own way. 21 plus drink responsibly. Imported by Crown Import, Chicago, Illinois.
Marcus Parks
There's no place to escape to.
Ed Larson
This is the last on the left side stories.
Henry Zebrowski
That's when the cannibalism started. Side stories.
Marcus Parks
Yes. I'd put money on Alec Baldwin's father being an alcoholic.
Ed Larson
How much?
Marcus Parks
50 bucks.
Ed Larson
Not. Not going to take it.
Marcus Parks
Welcome to side Stories. Ladies and gentlemen. My name is Marcus Parks. I'm here filling in for Henry Zabraski, here with Ed Larson. How you doing today, Ed?
Ed Larson
Pretty good. If you're going to fill in, I'm afraid I'm going to ask you to put on a lot more weight. You're too thin.
Marcus Parks
Boy, do we have a fat suit.
Ed Larson
Yeah, we're going to go full CL today. Well, listen, obviously we hear Marcus because we have some unfortunate news. We lost a member of the last podcast family and Big Henry Zabrowski. Henry Zabrowski senior unfortunately has passed away and we will do a nice bigger announcement, but Henry's taking the week off and we're going to let the boy rest and let the against his own will.
Marcus Parks
Oh my God. A medical professional. Even though both of us are like, you know what? We don't. You don't have to. A medical professional. Had to ask him, why are you working right now?
Ed Larson
Oh, yeah, no, he's a maniac.
Marcus Parks
And committed. We say committed.
Ed Larson
Yes. And in, you know, hail Big Henry. We love you. I miss that guy already. He was a lot of fun. I remember we the day I met him was when I helped Jackie move in to her her dorm in. In at Florida State. And then Big Henry was there and I was like, all right, this is Henry's dad, you know, and he was so obnoxious. And we all went to Chili's and he kept yelling at the waitress and I was like, this guy's funny.
Marcus Parks
Yes. Rest in peace, Henry Senior. And you go to that good old submarine in the Gulf of Mexico in the sky.
Ed Larson
Yes, yes. And we will. I, Henry, and I will be awful about it next week. Don't worry, because I also have a dead dad. And, you know, we can commiserate that as well. I believe. I believe our dads died equally as horrible.
Marcus Parks
Yeah, you really did. Oh, man. Mine's the only one alive.
Ed Larson
That's right. That's right. You last. You made it, buddy. Congratulations.
Marcus Parks
Fuck, yeah.
Ed Larson
Hell, yeah.
Marcus Parks
I'm gonna call dad after this, tell him.
Ed Larson
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Marcus Parks
He loves. There's nothing he loves more than outliving people.
Ed Larson
You know? I like it, too. Yeah, it's always a blast. So hail Big Henry. We're doing the show without little Henry this week and. But we took the week off yesterday. You still heard plenty of podcasts. We don't fucking take a week off from you. But we took a week off from our own lives and had some fun. You went to Hawaii to do anything? Silly. Did you get in trouble?
Marcus Parks
Fourth. My first vacation in four years.
Ed Larson
Wow.
Marcus Parks
Gone. A whole, like, a true vacation vacation. Yeah.
Ed Larson
No family, Just you and Carolina?
Marcus Parks
Yeah, man.
Ed Larson
You went to the beach?
Marcus Parks
No, actually, we did mostly rainforest shit.
Ed Larson
Oh, yeah. I was going to. I don't know how well you do at the beach.
Marcus Parks
I had a lot of sunscreen on the entire time I was there. Like, slather. Like, I put the fucking spray on and then slather on the lotion.
Ed Larson
Yeah.
Marcus Parks
Yeah, man, it was amazing. Yeah. When kayaking down this river to these secret falls. Ooh. Yeah, they were cool. And they have.
Ed Larson
Where are they?
Marcus Parks
Can't tell you.
Ed Larson
I was going to say try to get you. Yeah.
Marcus Parks
Yeah. He's going to take kayak down. Yeah. I went to Kauai. I want to say hello to Mike, who runs Aloha Tours, or I think it's called the Aloha Shuttle.
Ed Larson
Okay.
Marcus Parks
He's a big fan. Oh, it was fun. We got. Yeah, we got on the. The bus. The shuttle that, like, takes you around so you don't drive drunk to, like, different bars and, you know, resorts and shit.
Ed Larson
Oh, hell yeah.
Marcus Parks
You know, I got. He's like, hey, hey. Oh, shit. I know the. You guys are. Yeah. He's a big note, big no dogs in space fan. So thank you very much, Mike. We'll see you next time we're in Kauai.
Ed Larson
Amazing. I love so much, man.
Marcus Parks
Dude, it was just an actual relaxing time. Like, not like. It was just wonderful. And I had this moment under a waterfall where I was like, just fucking. I Mean barraged with water and came out as this cleansing moment. Felt fucking incredible. Like, I felt like something had been washed away.
Ed Larson
Oh, man, it's beautiful.
Marcus Parks
It was cool. And, you know, Hawaii, they have their very own little people.
Ed Larson
Really?
Marcus Parks
I can't remember what they're called. The Menehune.
Ed Larson
The Menehuni?
Marcus Parks
Yeah. Minehuni. Yeah. They have this. It's this legend where they're kind of like their shoemaker elves.
Ed Larson
Okay.
Marcus Parks
Where the Menehune are these, like, tiny people, these dwarf people.
Ed Larson
Are they real?
Marcus Parks
No.
Ed Larson
Okay.
Marcus Parks
No, no. It's like a legend where they come out at night and they, you know, build bridges and they make shit happen. But what was interesting is that I looked up the menehuni and what. Did you ever hear about the hobbit skeleton?
Ed Larson
Yes.
Marcus Parks
Yeah. So it turns out that some people think that the Menehuni may actually have been some of those hobbit people that the original settlers of Hawaii, like, had taken from Indonesia or I think that's where they found the hob hobbit skeleton.
Ed Larson
Okay.
Marcus Parks
But had taken them from there. And they were, in fact, their servants. So, like, the original settlers of Hawaii may have had, like, an army of dwarves as their servants.
Ed Larson
Wow.
Marcus Parks
Yeah.
Ed Larson
That's fucking. It's bad. But also. Yeah.
Marcus Parks
Can you imagine, like, settling a new land and, like, you just have a bunch of dwarves doing all of your.
Ed Larson
Work for you, Man, It's Wonka.
Marcus Parks
Yeah, it is.
Ed Larson
Except for pineapples.
Marcus Parks
Holy shit, dude. It's Holy Wonka.
Ed Larson
Yeah.
Marcus Parks
Yeah. Oh, man. Hawaii is wonk land.
Ed Larson
Yeah.
Marcus Parks
All right.
Ed Larson
I love Hawaii, man. I can't wait to go back. There's lots of crazy shit there.
Marcus Parks
Yeah.
Ed Larson
It's all invasive species, and I think that's, you know, fine.
Marcus Parks
Yeah. Chickens everywhere. Because we went to Kauai, you know, and the reason why Kauai only has. Is the only island that has chickens is because back in, you know, when they were first settling the. The islands, they had a rat problem. And so one of the guys, he was a sale, you know, these guys, we talked about it in the Batavia series. These guys just sail everywhere. And so this guy gone from Hawaii to Africa and, like, some dud in some village somewhere. So, like, oh, yeah, you got a rat problem. Take a mongoose over there. I'll take care of it in a second.
Ed Larson
Yep.
Marcus Parks
Fucking dude. Got together 7,000 mongooses, mongoose, and just fucking put them on every single island except Hawaii. Which is why every other island doesn't really have, like, a big bird population. Yeah. But Kauai has a great bird population and chickens fucking everywhere.
Ed Larson
Know what happened with the mongoose thing? I learned this when I was over there because I was mongoose everywhere. The first time I saw mongoose, I was like, what the fuck is that? Among goose. I was like, flipping out and shit. And I was just like, what hell's going on with all the mongoose that came to kill the rats? But the problem with that was the what? The rats are nocturnal and the mongoose stay awake during the day. So they didn't kill them enough. So they had to bring in a bunch of cats. And now there's a cats everywhere. And then, you know, so now the cats are a problem, the rats are a problem, the mongoose are a problem. And so, you know, Hawaii is just filled with these invasive species. Shout out to my friend April McCormick, who has to kill some of those cats, unfortunately, from time to time. Wow. Because they, you know, there's so many of them, and they're with all the other thing, all the killing, all the birds and all this shit, you got.
Marcus Parks
To do a call.
Ed Larson
You got to do the thing.
Marcus Parks
So they worked for animal control.
Ed Larson
Yes. Well, she works for, like, like, science researchers. And then also she has to go kill cats occasionally. And, like, it's totally changed her. She used to be, like, a strict vegetarian.
Marcus Parks
Yeah.
Ed Larson
And like, you know, wouldn't, you know. And now she's just, like, hardened, eats pork and shit. Fucking. She's like a whole new person. And so, you know, shout out to her, I. Thanks for killing the cats.
Marcus Parks
Yeah.
Ed Larson
I don't know. Like, it's weird to, you know, but it's, you know, what are you going to do?
Marcus Parks
Well, that's the thing. I. I get it. Like, I get that, like, protectiveness because there was a moment we were on this hike on Sunday, and I was looking. It was the most beautiful hike I've ever taken in my life. It was up, like, on top of a mountain, going on the ridges. There's fucking valleys on both sides. See all of these, you know, huge plants and trees growing up. And this thought. I'd never had a thought like this in my head. It just suddenly popped in my head. And I thought, I would kill for this place.
Ed Larson
Yeah.
Marcus Parks
I would kill to preserve this place and to, like, keep this place safe.
Ed Larson
It is important place, Hawaii. I love it so much. Just, like, learning about it when I was there. It's. It's. It's wild. You want. And you know why everyone who lives there is so protective about It, Yeah.
Marcus Parks
I. I got it. I definitely. I finally got it on that last day. Like, yeah, I understand. And I like. And I also even appreciated how chill people were about protecting it. Oh, they were very cool about it.
Ed Larson
They have to be. Otherwise, you know, you flip out. Hawaii, unfortunately, high suicide rate.
Marcus Parks
Really?
Ed Larson
Yeah. Yeah. And it's also. I learned Key west also has a high suicide rate. Well, and it's interesting. Well, it's like that island escape culture. I feel like, you know, it might invite people who are a little under the weather, mental health wise.
Marcus Parks
Can't run away from your problems.
Ed Larson
That's right.
Marcus Parks
Is someone going to the. Going to the island thinking this is going to fix everything? Like, if I only make it to Hawaii, if I only make it to Key west, then I'll be totally fine and all my problems will be solved.
Ed Larson
Yeah.
Marcus Parks
And you discover that does not happen at all.
Ed Larson
Yeah, it's Prozac.
Marcus Parks
Yeah, Prozac works a lot. But the cool thing is that we went to Kauai. Like, it was funny. I realized later that it was somewhat like subconscious because we were choosing which island to go to. And finally I was like, no, no, let's go to Kauai. Like, that feels right. Like, let's just, let's try this place. And I realized the reason why is because Lori Valo, that's where she got arrested and that's where she. That her favorite island was Kauai. Okay. And she stayed on the north shore. We stayed on the.
Ed Larson
I mean, you know, you can like the same things. Yeah, it's okay. You know, he's very nice.
Henry Zebrowski
Aaron.
Marcus Parks
Chad got married on the beach. Like, remember they paid like $500 for, you know, a beach wedding and a photographer and that's where she was arrested and extradited from. But yeah, it was in Kauai. It was in Princeville. Up top, the shishi part. I was told, yes, of course. Yeah, of course. Always the best. Because they have to spend that insurance money from the murdered wife. Someh.
Ed Larson
But.
Marcus Parks
And that's. And I did, like, I had to stop myself from like just telling like random Lori Valo facts to strangers.
Ed Larson
Oh, yeah, it's hard.
Marcus Parks
Just don't fucking mention murder. Don't mention it. Don't mention it. Like, the only time that I really talked about was I was on a hike. Like when we went down to the Secret Falls. You, you know, we had a guide and we went like on a tour and you kayak down and there's like, we went with a bunch of bro dudes on like their bro vacation. Their bro. Their brocation.
Ed Larson
Yeah.
Marcus Parks
Like a bunch of guys and they're like late 20s, like early 30s, but, you know, of course, like, talking shit like dudes do. Regular dudes, like, hey, better shut up. Like, who else is going to put us on a podcast? Like, only if you murder someone.
Ed Larson
Yeah. If you kill someone. You're on.
Marcus Parks
Yeah, if you kill someone, we're definitely going to talk about you a lot.
Ed Larson
If I met you and you're a murderer, you're in. Yeah.
Marcus Parks
There's no way we're not talking about it.
Ed Larson
Man. With this picture. This, this. I guess these aren't Eng engagement. These are wedding photos.
Marcus Parks
These are wedding photos of Chad Daybell and Lori Valo.
Ed Larson
You think he's faking the guitar here?
Marcus Parks
The ukulele. He doesn't know how to play ukulele. They just handed it to him and said, pretend. Yeah, yeah. And she's trying to do a hula dance and looking horrible doing it. She doesn't have a ounce of rhythm in her life. A body.
Ed Larson
It is interesting to look at this photo and know that this man is going to get riddled but with bullets from the government. It really is, man.
Marcus Parks
I didn't think about it that way. God. Yeah. He's just gonna be fucking slumped up next to a pole with a bunch of fucking blood just gushing over.
Ed Larson
This would be the outfit, too, the white outfit. Like, it would be. If you're gonna do it, man, put him back in the fucking linen, man.
Marcus Parks
I wonder if you can request, like, the color, like, in which you can be killed. Yeah, request white dude.
Ed Larson
Dolphins jersey for me, for sure.
Marcus Parks
No, I'd say. What? I'd say white. White flannel.
Ed Larson
White flannel.
Marcus Parks
Can you do white flannel?
Ed Larson
I don't know. I don't know if I've ever seen white flannel.
Marcus Parks
It'd be hot. I just like flannel.
Ed Larson
I feel like it would have to mix with orange or something.
Marcus Parks
Yeah. All right, well, that's gonna fuck with just anything that shows the blood.
Ed Larson
Yeah.
Marcus Parks
Yeah. Just make sure the blood is really on display, and then I'll be. Well, not happy because I'll be, you know, executed by the government, but satisfied.
Ed Larson
Satisfied. You made one choice.
Marcus Parks
Yeah.
Ed Larson
You made one choice. Yeah. Linen, I think, is always will be, would be the best cloth to be shot by the government in.
Marcus Parks
And on that note, how was your vacation?
Ed Larson
Well, speaking of invasive species, the invasive species tour was a success.
Marcus Parks
Hell, yeah.
Ed Larson
Thank you to everyone who came out. I did 11 shows over two separate tours, hour I. By myself. Finally. Never done it before. Done it 11 times now. And it's. It was great. It went really well. It's hard to. It's hard to, like, say that you did really well, but I did. Yeah. And it was cool. Everyone who came to the shows had a great time. I loved meeting everyone. Thank you so much for everyone that understood that Henry obviously called out from the side story shows and Dania and Orlando, he even, like. Even then, even though he called out, he still, like, called. He let me call him during the show and. And make fun of him. And so, you know, it was. It was a. It was a journey. And, you know, and it was like, luckily I had a bunch of dead dad jokes that I could tell. And, you know, it just. It went right. Segued real well.
Marcus Parks
Yeah. Sometimes these things dovetail.
Ed Larson
But the shows were amazing. I had an awesome time. Naples. Naples. And there was everywhere I went, it seemed like there was a weird Florida tragedy followed me. And we'll get to some of the stories later on, but, yeah, literally, there was a bear attack in Naples. There was an alligator attack close to Fort Lauderdale. It was. It was crazy.
Marcus Parks
Welcome to the Synchronicity, my friend.
Ed Larson
I know. It's wild how it just happens.
Marcus Parks
Yeah, man. It just happens wherever you go. Somehow things just. Just get attached somehow. And it's weird how it happens.
Ed Larson
I've noticed. Yeah. We made fun of the old Pope the day before we got a. Before he died. It's just wild how this shit goes. Man, oh, man.
Marcus Parks
Oh, the Pope. I had so much fun watching Pope news. Yeah. In Hawaii, like, we had a whole Pope. Morning.
Ed Larson
New Chicago Pope.
Marcus Parks
Chicago style Pope.
Ed Larson
Welcome. Yeah. Does that mean he put a pickle on him?
Marcus Parks
It's incredible. The Chicago style Pope beat another cardinal actually named Pizza Balla.
Ed Larson
Oh, yeah. Talk about some Italian beef.
Marcus Parks
Yeah. No, I kept singing this song. I don't know why I got this song stuck in my head, like, during the whole thing, I just kept singing, like, when you're in Rome and you are choosing a pope, you can always form a conclave. So the whole trip, me and Carolina just kept going, conclave.
Ed Larson
Oh, my God. Chicago Pope. And he seems to be not racist. Yeah. And that. Which is wild.
Marcus Parks
It's wild.
Ed Larson
Yeah.
Marcus Parks
I mean, definitely harboring pedophiles and, you know, sexual abusers. But it's for sure, as one person did make a point.
Ed Larson
He's a Pope.
Marcus Parks
He's a Pope. It's like, you're not really gonna find a guy until, like, I don't know, maybe 40, 50 years from now, maybe who wasn't involved in that in some way.
Ed Larson
They would have to stop event.
Marcus Parks
Yeah.
Ed Larson
That is.
Marcus Parks
That is true. No, when I met like 40 or 50 years, like at once. We're down to like six priests.
Ed Larson
Yeah.
Marcus Parks
You know, he's not getting new ones all that. All that often.
Ed Larson
Well, I can't wait to discover whatever nightmares this man has committed in his past. I'm sure there's a couple, but. So far, so good. New Pope, you know, we're all rooting for you.
Marcus Parks
So far so good. And the end. The Pope's brother seems nice.
Ed Larson
Oh, yeah, they keep. I don't know anything about him.
Marcus Parks
He's just some dude in Chicago. Like, he, like, lives in the suburbs. Like. Yeah, you know, like we was last week was playing Words with Friends and, you know, we went to conclave, actually, you know, it's good. It's pretty good. Ah, he's maga. Got it.
Ed Larson
No, but I thought. No, they hated him. They. They've been fighting. The MAGA's been fighting with him a bunch.
Marcus Parks
Well, apparently the Pope's brother is maga.
Ed Larson
Oh, well, of course he is.
Marcus Parks
Oh, yeah, he's from Chicago. Yeah, he's from Chicago and moved Florida. Okay.
Ed Larson
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, and the Pope's brother, you know, I mean, what do we expect here? Yeah, you know, like, it's like, may we all be judged by the worst member in our family.
Marcus Parks
Yeah. True, Very true, Very true.
Advertisement Speaker
Real businesses rely on Spectrum business for the fastest, most reliable Internet. Starting at $40 a month. When bundled and backed by the Spectrum commitment, get Internet speeds to fit your business needs. Starting at 500Mbps. Bundle with TV, phone and mobile. For more savings, level up your speed. For a three year price guarantee, find a bundle that is made for your business@spectrum.com business restrictions apply. Services not available in all areas.
Henry Zebrowski
This podcast is brought to you by Squarespace. Squarespace gives you everything you need to offer services and get paid all in one place. Seems amazing, right? It's because it is. From consultations to events and experiences, showcase your offerings with a customizable website designed to attract clients and grow your business. Which is good because let's just say I need it. You know, as you may or may not know, I lost horsepix.com in a very, very public and embarrassing auction to a young man by the name of Charlie Bucket, who has decided to take my horse picks and drive it towards the right. Some of the incendiary horse picks that I've seen, including Steve Bannon on a Clydesdale. One of the worst I saw was Ivanka Trump inside of a mayor. And I know that this is not the direction that I saw horsepix.com and. And that little boy I didn't that he'd become a full fledged Nazi and. And grow his hair into broccoli shapes and do all sorts of things I don't understand. Which is why I've started Emu Paintings.com thank you Squarespace, because Emu Paintings.com are these really, it's an exceptional way for me to get you paintings of emus in various positions that emus would normally be. And in a way, I find it both amusing and inspiring to see what emus can do using the painter's brush and imagination. And if it wasn't for Squarespace, I would be absolutely F'd to the gills. That's the term for being absolutely s out of luck. Squarespace, thank you for streamlining your workflow with built in tools because I would not have been able to get this website up fast enough due to the legal fees I've received and the personal heartache and my own health deteriorating. I just want to say thank you Squarespace, for all your help and emu paintings.com is going to be just as good and just as funny and relevant.
Ed Larson
I promise.
Henry Zebrowski
Head to squarespace.com left for a free trial when you're ready to launch. Use offer code left to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.
Advertisement Speaker
Pacifico is a Mexican lager brood to be discovered. It's like fresh tracks on a powder day like that uncharted trail a stone's throw away like the perfect wave on a sunny day. Pacifico, find your own way. 21 plus drink responsibly. Imported by Crown Import, Chicago, IL.
Ed Larson
But I had such a good time in Florida there. It was just an amazing time. So much good food. I went to the beach. Shout out to Adam Wurtz and Julie Rosing for shepherding me and being my tour managers and helping me sell merch and. But I think the most important part of my trip was Key West. Chickens everywhere, by the way, covered in chickens. Breakfast was expensive and I'm. No, you know what? It's like someone's up.
Marcus Parks
Yeah.
Ed Larson
There's like, there's chickens everywhere. You just give me the eggs, you know. And I know what it was. I saw a bunch of baby chickens. They let them live and. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think that's the main problem.
Marcus Parks
Yeah. And. Well, it's free range too. So it's hard to know where they're laying the egg.
Ed Larson
Eggs. Yeah. And you know, they eat trash.
Marcus Parks
But regardless, it's not going to be great. Yeah, it's free range trash chickens. It's not.
Ed Larson
Yeah.
Marcus Parks
It's not like in a really nice, it's not like my mom's chickens that get really good food.
Ed Larson
But I brought gifts for everybody. Oh, yes. And so a little something for you, a little something for Robin, a little something for the studio. But before I show you, I, I went and full disclose, I went and met and visited Rob Robert.
Marcus Parks
Robert the doll.
Ed Larson
Robert the doll.
Marcus Parks
The haunted doll.
Ed Larson
Robert the haunted doll. The most haunted doll in the world, apparently. Yeah, yeah, no, I went and visited me. There is definitely something off. Yeah. No question about it. You know, he was, he was very nice. I talked to him. I apologized for what Henry said about him on the show and when the mics cut out and stuff like that, I apologize. I brought him some of my merch. I had, I have actually some of my merch was I got biggest baby merch, you know, that I sell at the show shows, but I actually made like child sized shirts for like my relatives and I had extra. So I brought like a child's Eddie Ed Larson biggest baby shirt for Robert. I told him he doesn't have to wear it. He doesn't want to, but you know, it's his. I wrote him a little note from last podcast and I left thanking him for his contribution to our show and he was great. And I, I asked for permission before we filmed him and then he, I assuming he said yes. And we, we filmed him, me and him talking for a little bit and he was very sweet. I really think that, that he's been, he was, he really helped me get through those last three shows because I was so tired at the end of the tour. And the power of Robert, really, because that first show in Key west, the Friday, it was good, but it was like my worst show.
Marcus Parks
Yeah.
Ed Larson
And because I was beat because after those two shows in Orlando without Henry and then those long ass meet and greets and I was the, I was working hard. I, I'm one hour asleep. You know, I was all up and then Saturday morning I woke up, I was like, we need to go see Robert and make sure everything's okay. And you know, because I sense that we were in town. Yeah.
Marcus Parks
You can't go to Key west and not go see Rober.
Ed Larson
Yeah. So I went and saw Robert and also I, I got us for the Studio, I got us a recreation of Robert, but Rob, I, I, before I take him out, you know, please say something nice to Robert because I, I showed Robert our Robert, and I wanted to make sure that, like, he knew, like, you know, so part of Robert might be with me right now. So just say, just ask him if it's okay that we put, we put him on camera and he lives at the studio and stuff like that. Hey, Robert, just wondering if I can put you on camera and if we.
Henry Zebrowski
Can talk about you on side stories.
Marcus Parks
Totally going to be nice.
Ed Larson
Not going to say anything rude or inappropriate about you.
Marcus Parks
And don't forget to ask him if we can have him in here and.
Ed Larson
Can we have you in the studio, please? I think he says yes.
Marcus Parks
All right.
Ed Larson
So I also, I brought him on stage with me every night and then, like, I kept, like, asking him if my jokes were funny. No one in the audience really got it, but I had a great time. So here's our on Robert. Yes. This is, this is ours.
Marcus Parks
Incredible.
Ed Larson
He is a star already. He came. Yeah, he was on stage all weekend. He was, he was amazing. He did a great job. He was a good boy. I said good night to him. I apologize that I made him sleep at the, at the comedy club. Shout out to Comedy Key west for letting Robert crash there all weekend. And he was really appreciative. I gave him. He's got his box here, but he's gonna, he'll join us in the background at the Stud. Thank you, Robert, for everything you do. I really appreciate everything, buddy.
Marcus Parks
Thank you very much. Robert. You've been, you've been a very good sport about all of this, so thank you.
Ed Larson
Now the real Robert the Doll I met. First of all, thank you, Steve, for all the work that you do over there. Make sure you go visit Robert the Doll over at the Fort East Martello Museum, which is the Fort Zachary. First of all, Robert is like, far from the most haunted thing in that museum. Oh, yeah, yeah. It is like, it was a war, like, fort. And a lot of people don't know this, but Key west fought for the Union.
Marcus Parks
I had no clue. I never think of Florida as a Civil War battleground at all.
Ed Larson
Yeah, no, I don't think there was much battling there, but they had a fort in case something happened.
Marcus Parks
Sure.
Ed Larson
But they got hit also later on after the Civil War. They got hit really hard with the, with the flu, with the Spanish flu. And lots of bodies were, were. That's where they put all the bodies.
Marcus Parks
I'd heard that.
Ed Larson
And they were like, stacked up and like in Yellow Fever. That's what it was.
Marcus Parks
Yeah.
Ed Larson
And it was. They were stacked up from Seal. And then you're walking through all these, like. And it's empty now. They didn't put nothing where the bodies were. And it's cold. It was 100 degrees outside. It was cold in there. It was scary. And this other. And then. So Steve, who works the front gate, he was like. He loved that. You know, I was into this.
Marcus Parks
Yeah.
Ed Larson
Because usually it's just people walking around that are drunk and shit. And he was. He was.
Marcus Parks
You want to go? You know. Well, sometimes people don't know about me when I've been drinking. Daydreaming, especially. I love museums. And that's just because you get knowledge and it's power. And we just gotta go. Get us in there.
Ed Larson
Let me see this all. Let me see. I'm a cockama. But, yeah. No, so. So many people have wrote letters and they show all the letters and stuff like that I wrote on the chalkboard for us and stuff. And I. I gave a letter. So I think they're going to present our letter to Robert, which is good. But there's lots of interesting things I learned about Robert. I remember I forgot that inside, Robert is the soul of a little girl, not a little boy. Yeah, yeah. Which. Which I. I forgot until I got there and I was like, okay. Good to know. Recently. Ever hear a fantasy fan fest?
Marcus Parks
No.
Ed Larson
So in Key west, there's like this thing every year called Fantasy Fest. And it's like when a bunch of big fat Floridians get together and each other in front of everybody. And it's nudist. It's all a bunch of nudists. Everyone's walking around with big, big old saggy painted titties.
Marcus Parks
And it's that kind of fantasy fest. I had an entirely different thing put in my mind. I thought it was going to be like, fantasy novels. A bunch of people dressed up as Gandal.
Ed Larson
No, no, no, no, no, no, no. It's fucking. And.
Marcus Parks
You know, in Hawaii, real quick and quiet, like, I was. We were asking our tour guys, like, hey, look, what do we. You know, what's a cool thing to do around you? Like, there's a couple of new beaches. There's one of them. It's called Secrets. You can go to that one like that. That's a new beach. There's another one, though. People are going to be fogging, just so you know. People are going to be fucking, like, out in the open. I'm like, I was talking about, like, a bar.
Ed Larson
Yeah, yeah. Well, it's a new bar you should go to in Key West. There is one called the Gard of Eden. Don't go there. The people are the same. People go to Fantasy Fest. But. So last year, they had. They. Robert. They was commissioned to. To lead Fantasy Fest, and everyone was so worried because they want to be able to take pictures and.
Marcus Parks
Yeah.
Ed Larson
And they were really worried that if, you know, Robert was leading Fantasy Fest, that they wouldn't be allowed to take pictures. So what they did was they made an exact replica of Robert, and then they took the replica to Robert and then said, robert, Robert, would you please? If you want to come to the parade, feel free to enter this stall. I will bring this doll to the parade, and then when the parade is over, I will bring it back, and you will. And then you can enter back into Robert. And they claim that they did that. Fantasy Fest went off without a hitch. It was a great time. No one died. No one got run over by a parade float. And. Yeah, yeah. David Sloan, great guy. And then he was the grand marshal with Robert. And what happened? And then he came back, and then he said when he was put Robert back into the doll or the little girl back into Robert, that he heard a little giggle. Aw. And I guess that signifies that Robert had a good time.
Marcus Parks
That's funny. This is the first time I saw this ad up here for the whole thing for Fantasy Fest. It's the first time a haunted doll has ever been sponsored by Bud Light.
Ed Larson
Florida, baby. What a great time.
Marcus Parks
Bud Light presents Robert the dog.
Ed Larson
Yeah. So Robert was great. He. He was a grand marshal of Fantasy Fest. But that place, like, the dude, Steve, he was showing me all these videos, like, legitimate videos of orbs that he gets when he's closing down at night stuff. But then there's also videos where, like, the lights are flickering, and then he'll be like. And then you hear him go, if you're here, flicker the lights. Like, the lights are already flickering. You know, it's like. So it's like, you know, it's. You know, take what you will. Of course, he also had this app on his phone called Ghost Vox or something like that.
Marcus Parks
Okay.
Ed Larson
Where you can, like, talk to the ghosts and they can resp. Respond to you through an app on your phone. It's. I don't know how true it was, but it was always. It was interesting.
Marcus Parks
Yeah. I haven't heard of Ghost Vox.
Ed Larson
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Ghost Vox. Maybe not box, but. Yeah. No, it was. Yeah. I don't. I never heard of it before, but he had it and he loved using it. And, you know, shout out to Steve and all the work you do down there at. At the. The Fort East Martello Museum and keeping Robert safe. And I was so happy to meet him. And I. Julie. I introduced him to Julie. She didn't like Robert as much as I did, but she understood where my love is. But she said it is getting a little obsessive.
Marcus Parks
Just your love for Robert, the doll in particular?
Ed Larson
Yes.
Marcus Parks
Okay. Not just in general paranormal. It's just like you're really focusing in on this one haunted doll.
Ed Larson
I like Robert. Robert's my guy. We're in. No, I've. We formed a bond and, you know, that's it.
Marcus Parks
You know, I get it.
Ed Larson
I get it. And he's here. I'm sad that there won't be at home, but I got a keychain. But I got. I got you something. I got Rob something, something. Now, Rob, I got you this. This is a sticker that says protected by Robert. And because he shut off our equipment that one time. So I want to make sure that you have your. You know, that you're protected by Robert.
Marcus Parks
That's nice.
Ed Larson
And then I got you this. Marcus, Robert did it.
Marcus Parks
Oh, that's awesome.
Ed Larson
A magnet for your fridge, you know. And then also I got you this. I also went to the. The Ernest Hemingway house in museum, which is down there. And I got you a pen. Cause you're such a great writer.
Marcus Parks
Oh, thank you.
Ed Larson
And I figured that would be n. I speak lots of cats.
Marcus Parks
It's very sweet.
Ed Larson
Thank you. Yeah, they're everywhere. Hemingway's house was a lot of fun, too. It was interesting.
Marcus Parks
Oh, yeah, Hemingway.
Ed Larson
Yeah, I know. It's so funny because Hemingway's got this big. He's like everywhere. But Tennessee Williams also lived down there. And he's just got like a little shack. No one gives a.
Marcus Parks
I love Tennessee Williams. Come on, give Tennessee some. Give them a little bit love.
Ed Larson
But yeah, Key west was amazing. Go. If you get a chance, go down to Comedy Key west, the great comedy club there run by Tom Dustin, who's got a new movie out. And he was fucking awesome and very, very, a lot of fun. Truly. Boston Joe List made a movie about this man. I had no idea. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So Joan forever. I know. I miss Joe so much, but Florida, I love you. Invasive species in the bag. So is my Florida hour. Now I have to write new jokes, which really is a bummer. But this week I got a very Special thing happening tomorrow. You just want to keep people updated as far as, like, updates go or a pup date. I'm getting Harley tomorrow.
Marcus Parks
Oh, the tumor dog.
Ed Larson
My tumor dog.
Marcus Parks
Is it okay for me to call him the tumor dog?
Ed Larson
Well, the tumor's gone.
Marcus Parks
Okay.
Ed Larson
So they removed it.
Marcus Parks
Former tumor dog.
Ed Larson
Yeah, the. And the. The rescue. The rescue made this, like, they showed like, this graphic video of the tumor getting removed. Like, full surgery channel. Like crazy. Like, in the tumor is like. I'll show you the video. You're gonna love it.
Marcus Parks
Oh, yeah, no, I love the shit.
Ed Larson
The tumor is literally bigger than tootsie.
Marcus Parks
Wow.
Ed Larson
It's 19 and a half pounds it off of Harley.
Marcus Parks
Man, that. Yeah, that is about. That's only £6 off from being as heavy as Georgie.
Ed Larson
Yeah. And so now, like, so this. So now Harley is like an ox now. She's fudgeing, killing it. We get her tomorrow, her staples come out, and then she comes over to the house, and I'm ready to accept this new dog into my life. She's. She's definitely a little bit of a hunchback. It might grow back. So just to let her know, our house is sanctuary and we're putting in a bell and everything's gonna be nice.
Marcus Parks
No, it's great. Our dog, Frankie. Frankie came in with some medical problems. She still had a cast on her leg and all that from the horrible things she went through before we got her. But it's great to have a dog that's had a little bit but a. You know, seen some. Had some stuff happen to him, you know, like, makes him. I think it makes him sweeter.
Ed Larson
No, Harley's lived outdoors her whole life. I can't wait to give her a bed inside at the foot of mine. It's going to be great. And she'll get to end her life in my house, which is now doggy host spice. So that is. They'll. They'll have a great. She'll have a great end of her life with me, and maybe, you know, Robert will bless her. But.
Marcus Parks
But speaking of which, I can't move on from this just yet. I have one more question.
Ed Larson
Oh, any. All you got.
Marcus Parks
Are you gonna eventually have your own pet cemetery? If you're gonna be the dog hospice? I mean, you're the one that's gonna. You know, you're the one that's got these dogs at the end.
Ed Larson
Am I gonna have to eat my words on Chad Vallow's pet cemetery? Cause the way things are going, in two years, I'm gonna have Three dead dogs back there. I mean, mean, I have Rambo's ashes. I haven't. I don't know if I'm gonna bury it or not.
Marcus Parks
Sure.
Ed Larson
You know, and so I don't know what's gonna. What if I'm gonna bury Rambo or not. But I do have his ashes. You know, I think maybe I should. I could mix them with, you know, something and you know, maybe he'll like that. Maybe I've maybe put it at a skate park so we can haunt the skate park or something because he hated skateboarders so much.
Marcus Parks
Yeah, that's true.
Ed Larson
But yeah, no, I. That is a good question. Yeah. I think we could do a little pet sanitary back there.
Marcus Parks
We can think about it.
Ed Larson
I got rid of room.
Marcus Parks
I'll co invest.
Ed Larson
Oh yeah.
Marcus Parks
I mean, I've always wanted to own a cemetery. It seems like there's a lot of like problems with that.
Ed Larson
Yeah.
Marcus Parks
A pet cemetery.
Ed Larson
Less we have to spell it wrong on purpose.
Marcus Parks
Yeah, we have to. Yeah, yeah.
Ed Larson
You're gonna have one. I. And someone did. Mr. Pastrami, my buddy did buy me a Rambo like grave rock. So I already got the stone. And then, you know, but when I move. Because I do rent, I don't own. So when I do move, I will move the stone and not the body. Body.
Marcus Parks
That is true.
Ed Larson
Yeah. Which is fine. Which is fine. We'll let Rambo haunt that backyard. But if you want your own adopted dog, come to last puppy benefit on the left. It's going to be Friday, May 23, 7pm to 10pm over at the Masonic Temple in Hollywood Forever Cemetery. We are doing this with. With with Pups Without Borders. No Dogs in Space is going to perform. We got some other members of the last podcast now we're going to perform. Come hang out. The first hour, we're hanging with puppies.
Marcus Parks
Yeah.
Ed Larson
And then we're gonna fucking chill. We're gonna have some drinks, we're gonna get hang out with puppies. We're gonna have some drinks and then we're gonna tell a bunch of murder stories. Yeah. And like, what's a better time than that?
Marcus Parks
It's gonna be a fantastic day. And I. This is the. This Pups Without Borders. That's where we got our little Frankie. Yeah. Which is how we got hooked up with them. They're an incredible organization. They really care about what they do. And this is like a. This is a charity show. Yes, but it's gonna be a show and a hangout all at the same time. Time.
Ed Larson
Absolutely.
Marcus Parks
And there's going to be puppies there. So it's. And I've been to one of their. I've been to one of their events before and it was a great time. So, yeah, come on out. Come hang out with us. Come hang out with the puppies. Come get those, like silent awesome, like silent auction items that we got coming up that we're going to announce. But it's a cool shit. That's the last time I was there, I won a silent auction. They had a painting that looked like John Wayne Gacy and a bunch of dogs in the circus.
Ed Larson
Oh, yeah.
Marcus Parks
You know that one that's hanging in my, in my living room.
Ed Larson
Oh, that's so nice.
Marcus Parks
Yeah, yeah, I got. Got that at the silent auction.
Ed Larson
We're gonna, we're gonna have a silent auction here. You're gonna be able to win a, a dinner with Ron Perlman.
Marcus Parks
Yeah, yeah.
Ed Larson
Which is wild. And then we're gonna put it. We're gonna donate some stuff. We don't know we're donating yet, but we're gonna donate some stuff for the silent auction as well. And it's gonna be a blast. I really can't wait to do this. I love the Masonic Temple. Shout out to them over. We did a side stories there for the Netflix is the joke festival. And it was hot, dude. It was wild. So that's. It's a great place to see a show. Great place to hang out. You can go visit Toto's grave.
Marcus Parks
Yeah.
Ed Larson
You know, lots of dog stuff all at once.
Marcus Parks
You can also go visit Jane Mansfield's grave who died in a car accident with her four Chihuahuas.
Ed Larson
There you go.
Marcus Parks
The Chihuahuas are not buried with her.
Ed Larson
You know who else is buried there? Brand new Hot on Hot in the ground. David Lynch.
Marcus Parks
That's right.
Ed Larson
Yeah. So we can go see his ass.
Marcus Parks
No, it's got. There's so many cool like Dee Dee Ramones buried there. Johnny Ramone's got a. He has a grave there, but not. He's not buried there.
Ed Larson
Really?
Marcus Parks
Yeah, that's just a, a memorial.
Ed Larson
Oh, I didn't know that.
Marcus Parks
Yeah. No, no, his body's not there. De's there, though.
Ed Larson
Oh, well, my picture then.
Marcus Parks
Byline. Nur's there. The original Vampira.
Ed Larson
Nice.
Marcus Parks
She's there. Mel Blanc voice. Bugs Bunny.
Ed Larson
Judy Garland.
Marcus Parks
Judy Garland. Ema Sumac, one of my favorite singers of all time. No, you, you have. You never listen to.
Ed Larson
No, I haven't.
Marcus Parks
Oh, we got a night ahead of us.
Ed Larson
Nice.
Marcus Parks
Oh, we got a night ahead of us.
Henry Zebrowski
Right?
Marcus Parks
Im Zum. She's this incredible singer that has like an eight octave range. They build her. She's from the 50s. They build her as like a lost Mayan princess because all of her music is very like South American, but it's got, it's very exotica. Turns out Queens.
Ed Larson
Whoa. I mean, queens most, you know, was it the. What, how do they represent queens? It's the, the most culturally diverse neighborhood in the world.
Marcus Parks
Yeah. But she's definitely not a Mayan princess.
Ed Larson
What are you gonna do?
Marcus Parks
I mean, it's the 50s.
Ed Larson
It's good press.
Marcus Parks
Yeah, it's great press.
Ed Larson
Yeah. I mean, I love that octave. Ra Getting, getting real into mini Ripperin lately.
Marcus Parks
Oh yeah.
Ed Larson
And so, yeah, feed me to it. Oh, also another dog kind of adjacent in Hollywood forever. Humphrey Bogart. Humphrey as in hump the legs, you know, but. And that's free.
Marcus Parks
You can pay for it.
Ed Larson
Yeah. Well, this is side stories. We have to get the stories eventually. But it's been wonderful catching up with you.
Marcus Parks
Great catching up with you.
Ed Larson
I thought you had a great trip and I, I as well.
Marcus Parks
I'm very, I'm very happy. The Florida tour went off great.
Ed Larson
I can't wait to do more shows, but it's going to be a lot of fun. We got an update. Yeah, one update for, for all of you lizards. They found another victim of her. Baumeister.
Marcus Parks
Yeah, they, they have identified the 10th victim found on the farm. The 10th out of, I think they assume about 25.
Ed Larson
Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So they, they, I mean it takes forever with all those little fragments. Yeah. The man, Daniel Thomas Halloran of Indianapolis, was. Genealogy match. He's the second victim to be identified since Hamilton County Coroner Jeff Jellison reopened the investigation into the disappearance of dozens of men from the early to mid-1990s and the 10th known victim overall. But yeah, I mean, so, so it could be up to 25.
Marcus Parks
It could be. They think it's up to 25 people that he killed. Yeah, quite possibly. I mean you, you never really know. It's just how many bone fragments they found. And they can also kind of cross reference that with like the amount of like disappearances, you know, people that were reported missing around the. He's known to have murdered men.
Ed Larson
Yeah.
Marcus Parks
But yeah, it's. They think around 25.
Ed Larson
And it's not like you can just find DNA to someone who went missing in the 1990s. Right. To like cross examine. Right.
Marcus Parks
No, I think from my understanding of this case, if you have like an.
Ed Larson
Old hat or something, you might get Lucky.
Marcus Parks
Yeah, well, it's familial DNA at this point is mostly what they have. So the, the other problem with that is that you do have to have a family family to come forward and give DNA. Like a family. Like you know, someone who's been like, for example, like this guy, you know, was reported missing. He went missing in August of 1993.
Ed Larson
But he was, he was reported late. They don't even know what day he actually went missing because like he just didn't come home. And he had a two year old daughter and I guess the wife was just like, oh, you know, I guess he ran off. Yeah, you know, and so I'm sure that's probably happened a bunch of times.
Marcus Parks
Yes, it happens so often, you know, where it happens with kids, it happens with husbands, happens with wives. Especially in the 70s, 80s and 90s, like. Yeah, they just ran off because it's not like today where, you know, we're all kind of tracked and you know, we know where everyone is and it feels like that you owe it to everybody to let them know that you're actually alive. But back then, yeah, guy could just disappear and never be seen again. But now they've gone through and I think they did some familial samples and identified the guy as Daniel Thomas Halloran.
Ed Larson
Yes. And it said when Jellison learned of Halloran's mother had died of a drug overdose two years ago, he checked with Marion county coroner's office to see if they handled the case. They had and they had kept a DNA swab in their files. That swab confirmed Texas labs finding that Jellison subsequently found a living relative, a daughter who was two when her father went missing. So crazy.
Marcus Parks
Yeah.
Ed Larson
And to get that closure now like 30 something years later is nuts.
Marcus Parks
It is. And you know, it also does, it begs the, the question of like, would you rather know that your father had been murdered by a serial killer quite brutally or that he just ran off and he's kind of a fuck up?
Ed Larson
I think I'd rather know that. I think knowing that he was murdered is, is oddly more comforting.
Marcus Parks
Yeah, it's more comforting for you.
Ed Larson
Yes.
Marcus Parks
But for the dad?
Ed Larson
No, way worse. Way worse. Go bowling forever, you know, like.
Marcus Parks
Yeah, because that's the thing. He could have live like a, you know, a happy life and. No, no, it was a. Just a terrible end. Yeah. Cuz Herb Meister was not known for, for quick murders.
Ed Larson
Yeah. This guy, I mean he looks very much like Theo Von.
Marcus Parks
He does.
Ed Larson
And I, I'm sure Herb loved him. Unfortunately, yeah, he.
Marcus Parks
Yeah, the guy that. He got a Kenny Powers look about him.
Ed Larson
Yeah, for sure. He's got a mullet and a tiny mustache.
Marcus Parks
Is that a mullet or is he just standing in front of a Christmas tree?
Ed Larson
One or the other. Either way, he, he, he fits in. That's for sure.
Marcus Parks
He does. He does.
Ed Larson
Well, I'm glad, I'm glad that that was figured out and I hope they find some more. If you have a dad who went missing in the Indianapolis area in the 90s, maybe you should hit up Jellison, find out if maybe it happened.
Marcus Parks
Figure it out.
Ed Larson
They got lots of bones. They don't know what the they're doing with.
Marcus Parks
I mean they've only got. Yeah. 10 identified out of like about 25. But you know, I mean there are some of these, you know, there's still a few them of, of John Wayne Gacy's victims. We still don't know who they are. Yeah, a fair amount. Yeah.
Ed Larson
Crazy. Yeah.
Marcus Parks
And definitely a few of Dean Corll's victims. We don't know. You know, out of his.27. Yeah, there's a. Yeah, there's most of the time, like when you find those mass graves, there's going to be quite a few guys.
Ed Larson
Yeah.
Marcus Parks
You just never, well, at least killed.
Ed Larson
Back then and Gacy traveled, you know, he could have dumped bodies. You know, it's not like he's going to bring someone back from California to bury him in, you know, Illinois.
Marcus Parks
No, no.
Ed Larson
You know, and so, so you never know know what happened with these guys? Terrifying.
Marcus Parks
No. 33 is just what we know about.
Ed Larson
Wow. Die from your grave.
Advertisement Speaker
Real businesses rely on Spectrum business. Get the fastest, most reliable Internet starting at $40 a month. When bundled and backed by the spectrum commitment. Find a plan that's made for your business@spectrum.com business restrictions apply. Services not available in all areas.
Pacifico is a Mexican lager brood to be discovered. It's like fresh tracks on a powder day. Like that uncharted trail a stone's throw away like the perfect wave on a sunny day Pacifico find your own way 21 + drink responsibly. Imported by Crown Import, Chicago, Illinois.
Marcus Parks
Worried about what ingredients are hiding in your groceries? Let us take the guesswork out. We're thrive market the online grocery store with the highest quality standards in the industry. We restrict 1000 plus ingredients so you can trust that you'll only find the best high quality organic and sustainable brands. All free of the junk. With savings up to 30% off and fast carbon neutral shipping you get top trusted groceries at your door and you can stop worrying about what your kids get their hands on. Start shopping@thrivemarket.com podcast for 30% off your first order and a free gift. But speaking of bodies, I got this. I love this story because I love a mummy story and I love an embalming story.
Ed Larson
Okay.
Marcus Parks
Because I find embalming and like funeral practices like absolutely fascinating. I almost like, that was my, I had like kind of a crossroads where it's either like go like stay in radio and broadcasting or go into embalming. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Going to funeral services. And you know, I, I chose this, which I think is the right choice.
Ed Larson
It was the correct choice. But you know, I like, you know, I, for me, it was butcher. I wish I would have learned to be a butcher, but you know, I wasn't. And now I can just be a hobby. So if any dies and wants to donate their body to Marcus, he'll fucking play with it.
Marcus Parks
You know, I'll fucking stick a tube in your ass.
Ed Larson
We'll mummify you fucking tushy.
Marcus Parks
I'll suck out all your bullshit and fucking put it in a bucket, throw it in my backyard.
Ed Larson
So what's the deal with this mummy?
Marcus Parks
The mystery of a mummy from an Austrian village has been solved, according to researchers who say it was embalmed in an unexpected way via the rectum.
Ed Larson
Ooh.
Marcus Parks
Never heard of rectal embalming before. They say this is the first known case of rectal embalming.
Ed Larson
Ok, I know that they like put like formaldehyde through you and stuff like that for. Well, what is the embalming process? I don't even really know.
Marcus Parks
Well, this is 1746, so this is long before like modern embalming. Modern embalming didn't come about until the Civil War, the American Civil War, because there were so many people that were dying way back, you know, so far away from home. The families wanted the bodies transported back so they could be buried wherever it was that they were from. And so the, the idea of modern embalming, which is taking out a lot of the guts out, like replacing the blood with like preserving fluids, like, you know, preservatives and all that. Like you kind of switching out the blood for one, you're switching out one thing for another.
Ed Larson
Do you take out like the kidneys and, or you leave them in there?
Marcus Parks
You know what? I actually can't remember. I can't remember if you take out like all, like all of the guts.
Ed Larson
Side stories. LPOTL gmail.com yeah, yeah.
Marcus Parks
I can't remember if you take out the guts.
Ed Larson
Okay.
Marcus Parks
No, mummies don't have guts. No, no, no mummies. No mummies. See, that's the difference.
Ed Larson
We're just talking about normal. Normal embalming.
Marcus Parks
Yeah, yeah. The difference between normal embalming and like, mummies are definitely, like, all the guts are gone.
Ed Larson
Okay.
Marcus Parks
And this guy. All of the guts were gone. But the thing is. But the reason why it was a mystery was because when they found this body, they. They think that the body is the preserved corpse of an aristocratic vicar named Franz Xaver Sidler von Rosenig.
Ed Larson
Cool.
Marcus Parks
Yeah. Or Rosenig. Yeah. Franz Xavier Siddler von Rosenig. Yeah. They were redoing his tomb. Like they had to do some reconstruction on it and found the body and feel like, ah, it. Let's see what's inside. Yeah. And so they did some CT scans of it and found that it was hollow inside. So like, oh, he's been. And also he'd obviously been mummified. You look at the bodies, like, oh, this body's definitely been mummified, but through the butt. That's the thing. They didn't see any kind of holes or like, entry points where they may have, you know, gotten. Where they may have like pulled out any of the organs or anything like that.
Ed Larson
So they sucked out his organs through his ass mess.
Marcus Parks
Well, I don't know about. I don't know about sucked out.
Ed Larson
Yeah.
Marcus Parks
I don't know.
Ed Larson
They didn't have vacuums back then.
Marcus Parks
They didn't? No, no, no. Because I actually, for a while when I first read the story, like, I saw mummy and rectum and mystery and air dry and the way all of the words were put together, I also saw. Via vacuum.
Ed Larson
Yeah.
Marcus Parks
Not via rectum, via vacuum.
Ed Larson
That's. That's what I would think.
Marcus Parks
Yeah. No, but you can actually even see in this picture here, you can see there's actually a little bit. Bit of a. There's a little tuft coming out of his butthole.
Ed Larson
Yeah. There is a little something in there. Like that must have been a cork or something.
Marcus Parks
That had to have been because they would have had to have stretch it out pretty good in order to pull out all of the organs via the butthole. And not just pull out all of the organs via the butthole, but putting in wood chips, fragmented twigs, hemp and silk fabrics and taxidermied them.
Ed Larson
Yeah.
Marcus Parks
And zinc chloride.
Ed Larson
Crazy.
Marcus Parks
Yeah, they taxidermied them and they probably did the. I'm sure they brain and all that. They did the old Egyptian way of putting the hook in through the nose and pulling that out.
Ed Larson
Oh, so they took the brain out, too?
Marcus Parks
Yeah, yeah.
Ed Larson
Nuts.
Marcus Parks
Yeah. Max, all that stinks, man.
Ed Larson
So why do you. What. How do you think they did it? Do you think they did, like, the whole, like, stuck a little thing in there and, like, swish it? Like, stuck a sword up there and, like, swished it around, chopped it up good, and then got that out? Or they think they just pulled the intestines like a rope.
Marcus Parks
They might have just put, like. Just got a hook. I would imagine it's all hooks.
Ed Larson
Yeah.
Marcus Parks
If they did the hooks the same way that they did the, you know, the brain, I would imagine it's. Yes, sticking a hook up in there. But they may have, I don't know, blended it and then. Yeah, like, it's not like siphoning gas. Rob, make like, one big. All right, now it's flowing. Just let it flow out. Just let it go.
Ed Larson
Turn him into a big joint. I got to say, Great teeth.
Marcus Parks
Yeah.
Ed Larson
For a 17th century man holding up to this day. Great teeth.
Marcus Parks
Incredible teeth. Well, he was a vicar. He lived a life of luxury, basically. In comparison to other 17th century three people, he definitely lived a cushy life. You know, like, they even found him. He was wearing his pointed shoes. Okay. He had his. His tobacco pipe and, you know, they just found that his body was in incredible shape overall. But, yeah, he did live a much better life than most people did back then.
Ed Larson
Rob, can you zoom in on the penis for me? I'm just curious.
Marcus Parks
The penis area left.
Ed Larson
Do you think it fell? Oh, no, it's. It's there.
Marcus Parks
Well, it is there.
Ed Larson
It is there.
Marcus Parks
Wow.
Ed Larson
Okay.
Marcus Parks
It looks sort of cocooned.
Ed Larson
I mean, of course it's deflated, you know. You know it all. Yeah, it got emptied, but, yeah, it's still there.
Marcus Parks
Yeah.
Ed Larson
All right.
Marcus Parks
Uncircumcised.
Ed Larson
Good to know. I should hope so.
Marcus Parks
Yeah.
Ed Larson
Yeah. Oh, all right. Sticks it around.
Marcus Parks
Sticking a rug. Just put them up. Put them up in there.
Ed Larson
I got something oddly. I was going to have you go twice in a row, but I. This one of my stories kind of goes into what we've already been talking about. Pittsburgh funeral homeowner Elizabeth allegedly dumped pets in a landfill after charging for the cremation.
Marcus Parks
This is terrible.
Ed Larson
What a. I mean, like, come on. Like, just do your job. Yeah, it's got to be easier.
Marcus Parks
Why do you. Yeah, it's got to be easier than driving all the way out to the.
Ed Larson
Landfill and dumping a bunch of dogs out the fucking so this guy. All right, so this comes from. From whatchamacallit. From a W, T A E, which is a Pittsburgh affiliate. Action News. A Pittsburgh funeral home owner is accused of stealing hundreds of thousands of dollars from people who paid for pet burial and cremation services. According to Pennsylvania Attorney General, thousands of dogs and cats were improperly disposed of after the owners paid for the cremation, burials, and other services. This Guy collected over $650,000 between 2021 and 2024 from People. And then he just took the dogs and the cats and he threw them in the trash instead of giving people what they deserved, which is some comfort. So, you know, so it's. It's crazy that this man did this, but he finally got caught. You just can't throw dogs in the trash.
Marcus Parks
No, you can't. You can't throw dogs. You can't throw cats. You can't throw birds. You can't just throw an animal in the trash.
Ed Larson
More than 6,500 victims have already been identified. So this. I mean, don't go to the dump in Pittsbur.
Marcus Parks
I mean, we all know that Pittsburgh. Well, we all know that the dumps are lands of wonder and whimsy and joy, and you can find many wonderful things at the dump. Isaac, did you ever. Did your dad ever take you to the dump when you were a kid?
Ed Larson
I did. I went to the dump once. My dad. I don't know why the. My dad brought me to the dump. Yeah, I went to Mount Pompano, we call it. The only hill in all of Broward county is a giant dump. And I tell you what, those seagulls are the size of Buicks up there.
Marcus Parks
Okay, that's different. You got to deal with seagulls in Florida. So that's. You got wildlife at the dumps.
Ed Larson
Yeah.
Marcus Parks
Besides the rats.
Ed Larson
Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Marcus Parks
My dad used to take me to the dump all the time when I was a kid. It was fucking fantastic.
Ed Larson
You go to shoot the rats?
Marcus Parks
No, we just went to look and. To dump. Yeah, we dump our stuff because, you know, we lived in. You know, I lived in rural Texas. We really have. We didn't get, like, a dumpster until I was in, like, high school. So you had to take your trash somewhere?
Ed Larson
Yeah.
Marcus Parks
And there was no, of course, like, no local pickup. So, yeah, we had to take trips, regular trips to the dump to get rid of our trash. Like, one every couple weeks.
Ed Larson
Why the. Was I at the dump? Like, we were at the top, and, like, we weren't, like, dumping something. We Were like talking to somebody.
Marcus Parks
Yeah.
Ed Larson
And my dad was like. Had a deal with someone at the dump.
Marcus Parks
Dad had a guy at the dump.
Ed Larson
There was like something. I don't know what it was like he had like business at the dump and I had to go with him.
Marcus Parks
Fucking. You're going to try. You're going to go to sleep tonight and you're going to be thinking about this. Some awful fucking memory is going to unlock that you had forgotten about. And it's just like off.
Ed Larson
I do. But yeah. The core memory. Memory is just blown away by the size of the seagulls. Just like I remember just be like, those are big. And my dad was laughing his ass off.
Marcus Parks
And like.
Ed Larson
Yeah. No, I mean, I don't think my dad was. I mean my dad was involved with like some minor thievery, but nothing crazy illegal. It's not like he was like a murderer or anything like that.
Marcus Parks
No.
Ed Larson
So it's a. I wonder why the. I was at that dump. To the bottom of this. But.
Marcus Parks
Yeah.
Ed Larson
This case was disturbing and will cause devastation and heartache to many. Pennsylvania's Attorney General Dave Sunday said, our pets are members of our families. And this defendant betrayed and agonized pet owners who entrusted him to provide dignified services for their beloved cats and dogs. I know as someone who just got their dog's ashes. Yeah. I don't know how much I would.
Marcus Parks
Care if it was not his actual ashes.
Ed Larson
Yeah.
Marcus Parks
I def. Not lawsuit care.
Ed Larson
Yeah. Not definitely not lawsuit. I'd be pissed. I'd want to like punch the guy.
Marcus Parks
Yeah. Angry phone call care.
Ed Larson
Yeah.
Marcus Parks
Yeah.
Ed Larson
I don't know. Like, I understand but like, why do we even get it? Why do we get him back? I guess it's just we romanticize it a lot.
Marcus Parks
Yeah. Yeah. I, you know, when. When my dogs die, I think. You know what? I don't know if I'd want my ash. The ashes of the dog.
Ed Larson
Now that I. In the moment, you're like. Yeah. Given to me, you know. But like now I'm like, what the fuck am I doing with these things?
Marcus Parks
Yeah. I'd actually. I think. Yeah. I. It never even. Honestly, it never even occurred to me that I would get the dog's ashes back.
Ed Larson
Yeah.
Marcus Parks
Like, it's just you. I thought you just call the guy.
Ed Larson
That's what they should do.
Marcus Parks
Cuz I haven't had a. I haven't had a pet die since I lived in Texas. And you just bury him.
Ed Larson
Yes.
Marcus Parks
You know.
Ed Larson
Yeah.
Marcus Parks
When I was in high school.
Ed Larson
Different times.
Marcus Parks
Yeah. You just bury the dog. Out back. But now we live in a city and I can't just bury the dog. No, no, you can't just bury the dog. Cuz one time I'd buried a dog and I didn't bury it deep enough.
Ed Larson
Yes.
Marcus Parks
Yeah.
Ed Larson
And the animals come.
Marcus Parks
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, the. The thing is, the animals didn't come, but I buried him right outside my window. I didn't bury him deep enough. And so over. And it was the middle of summer, Texas summer. So it's like a hundred degrees outside. And so just the smell started getting, like, worse and worse and worse and worse.
Ed Larson
Sometimes they come back.
Marcus Parks
Yes. Well, I had to go dig up the dog. Me and my friend Gary. Like, yeah, my friend Gary Strickland, man.
Ed Larson
Shout out to Gary.
Marcus Parks
Gary was a fucking good friend.
Ed Larson
Good friend Gary was. That's good.
Marcus Parks
Gary was a fucking solid, solid friend. Gary helped me out that day. I was like, dude, I got to dig up my dog. Come help me. He's like, all right, fine. Yeah, these. Yeah, Gary's ride or die.
Ed Larson
Wow.
Marcus Parks
But yeah, yeah, we had to dig up the dog and instead of digging a new grave for him because I couldn't, like, it was just. We just kind of put him out in a pasture further out, a little further.
Ed Larson
Baumeister.
Marcus Parks
Yeah, we bow. Actually. We did. Baumeister.
Ed Larson
Yeah.
Marcus Parks
Yeah, we did. We did. We totally baumeistered him. Like, it was a nice. It was a really nice feat. It wasn't like a field. Like, it wasn't a. Like a farm field, like where they're going to, you know, be plowing it up or anything like that. Like it was a. A field. I mean, yes, he definitely let. We call it a sky burial where.
Ed Larson
You know, they're threw him out of a plane and go for the best.
Marcus Parks
Well, sky burials are where, you know, people get eaten by birds.
Ed Larson
You know, like, okay, okay.
Marcus Parks
Yeah, yeah, they get. Yeah, they get eaten by vultures.
Ed Larson
That's the best way to do it.
Marcus Parks
Yeah, you go back to nature.
Ed Larson
I wish that's how they did with us. Yeah, I feel better about that than just burying or burning me. At least I'm giving back.
Marcus Parks
Yeah. Because the vultures, they take the bones, everything.
Ed Larson
Yeah, of course they do.
Marcus Parks
So, yeah, it was probably vultures and coyotes that finished him off.
Ed Larson
What is this picture, Rob? That's.
Henry Zebrowski
It's a skybird.
Marcus Parks
It's a sky. Yeah.
Ed Larson
That's a human. Yeah, we don't.
Marcus Parks
That is a human.
Ed Larson
That's a human. We know that it's blurred, but that's a human.
Marcus Parks
That's definitely a human.
Ed Larson
Yeah. That's not a dog. That's worse.
Marcus Parks
Yeah, I can see fingers. But yeah, it's a. It's a Tibetan thing. It's really big in Tibet. Sky burials.
Ed Larson
Tibetan is. Yeah, the. Oh, man. What else is going on in the news?
Marcus Parks
The other thing that I got is this incredible story out of Australia. This is a. I mean, this is one of those stories that, you know, I love the show Fatal Vows. And this is like the most fatal vows story there is.
Ed Larson
Yes.
Marcus Parks
Yeah. I mean, marriage is bliss, but divorce is murder. An Air Force pilot in the RAAF is accused of murdering his wife and staging her death to make it look like a ride on mower accident. Whoa.
Ed Larson
Yes. Oh, my God.
Marcus Parks
Yes. Yes. He has secured a major court win after a drudge ruled he could be released on bail to take care of his ailing mother. He would be prohibited. And this is the amazing thing about it. He is a pilot. So as a part, one of the conditions of his bail is that he is prohibited from coming within 500 meters of an international airport terminal.
Ed Larson
Yeah. Cuz he could just fly away.
Marcus Parks
Yeah. And he can't enter any airfield.
Ed Larson
Good.
Marcus Parks
Yeah.
Ed Larson
Wow. How annoying is his mother that they're releasing him to take care of her?
Marcus Parks
Nobody. Can't get anyone to. God. Let him go. Let him go. Get him out of here. I didn't get. Get him out of here.
Ed Larson
So he fucking. So he killed his wife and then he ran her over with a lawnmower.
Marcus Parks
Robert John Crawford is charged with the murder of his wife, Francis Crawford in southeast Queensland on July 30, 2024. Emergency services found the body of Ms. Crawford, 49, at the base of the property's retaining wall around 3:40am near a riding mower. Apparently in Australia they called a ride on mower. Police allege Mr. Crawford, an RAAF pilot, flew into a murderous rage and fatally str his wife before attempting to disguise the crime by placing her body under the mower to make it look like she died in a freak accident.
Ed Larson
Oh, my God. I mean, it's a ride on mower.
Marcus Parks
A ride on. Yeah, the rider. Yeah, it's a ride mower.
Ed Larson
So it would be his fault anyway.
Marcus Parks
Well, unless, I don't know, riding overs you could get. You could kill yourself.
Ed Larson
Do they go on their own?
Marcus Parks
They can go on their own, but on the other hand, no, because they do have. You know, when you stand up, you.
Ed Larson
Gotta hit the lever. Right.
Marcus Parks
Well, when you stand up from a riding mower like the. It automatically turns off.
Ed Larson
Yeah. So either way, he kills.
Marcus Parks
Yeah, you can't.
Ed Larson
I mean, obviously it's flawed. He went to prison.
Marcus Parks
Well, he's. His trial is coming up. Oh, like. Like he's. He hasn't even gone to trial yet. This is just that. This is his bail hearing. Oh, okay.
Ed Larson
So it could be an accident then. And we have to say that.
Marcus Parks
Well, remember. Yeah, allegedly. Well, he's also charged with misconduct with a corpse with police alleging in Court documents that Mr. Crawford moved his wife's body without lawful jurisdiction or excuse. Mr. Cook told the court that Mr. Crawford. Mr. Cook would be. I think the DA allegedly sent messages to himself on his wife's phone after the alleged murder to make it seem like she had gone outside to move the mower before the quote, unquote, accident.
Ed Larson
Yes.
Marcus Parks
The exchange detailed to the court included Mr. Crawford reportedly texting, quote, are you going to put the mower away soon? Ms. Crawford allegedly replies, just give me a sec. And so he's trying to set up the idea that she's going.
Ed Larson
Even made her a. In that one of those.
Marcus Parks
Just give me a sec. Right. Give me a sec.
Ed Larson
All right, I'm under the mower. She's right. Ow, ow, ow, ow.
Marcus Parks
Oh, my God. I did not know how much it would hurt to be ran over by a ride on mower. And, oh, my God, I am dead now. Well, the coroner went in and said, like, okay, this woman was definitely strangled to death, right? Like, she was like. They said that she might have died from being run over by the mower, but it was the, you know, manual strangulation tell after running over her with a mower. That's the thing. We don't know how bad the damage actually was because, I mean, it's not dead alive. Yeah, he's not, you know, she's not kicking ass for the Lord. And like, like, it's. And it's not, you know, the sort of like, push mower where you get these big blades. She was probably, like, mutilated, but I don't know, like, did he run over her head? Did he run over her legs? Where did he run over the body?
Ed Larson
Not well enough.
Marcus Parks
Definitely not well enough.
Ed Larson
You always run over the part that you destroyed. Yeah, that's, you know, for, you know.
Marcus Parks
But that's the thing. You only get one shot. You can't run her over multiple times because then they're going to know. So if you run it over, if you run her over one time, that's the only shot you got.
Ed Larson
Wow.
Marcus Parks
Wow.
Ed Larson
God. What a crazy way to kill somebody. Yeah.
Marcus Parks
Well, I mean, really, it's just a mutilation.
Ed Larson
Yes, you're right. He did kill her normal.
Marcus Parks
Yeah, he did. Yeah, he did kill her normal. But, yeah, it is a, it's a hell of an alibi. Especially at three in the morning.
Ed Larson
Yeah, no one mows their lawn at 3 in the morning.
Marcus Parks
Well, the idea was that she was putting it away. She was putting it away. Yeah. And there were also several inconsistencies. Unwashed dishes, her rings were left on the kitchen counter indicated she was still in the middle of her nightly routine. And the D. A. Argued it made little sense for her to have gone outside near midnight to move a lawnmower. But. And apparently this guy was a dick. Anyway, Crawford's children expect to be witnesses in the case that they had a bad relationship with their father. One witness reportedly described Proford in his statement as controlling and intimidating.
Ed Larson
And so now he's going to become a caretaker.
Marcus Parks
I mean, only one in handler.
Ed Larson
Jesus Christ.
Marcus Parks
Yeah.
Ed Larson
Well, I hope his mom, you know, is happy that he's there.
Marcus Parks
He's got a very Australian face.
Ed Larson
He really does.
Marcus Parks
Yeah, yeah. It's that Australian fate. Like why do Australians have such big heads and such tiny ears?
Ed Larson
It's true. Think about it.
Marcus Parks
Yeah, It's a very Australian thing.
Ed Larson
I mean, he is classically attractive.
Marcus Parks
Yeah, he is.
Ed Larson
Yeah. No, for sure. He's definitely cla. He's definitely like a good looking man. But yeah, no, that's true.
Marcus Parks
Side stories. Lpotlmail.com if you can answer, why Australian, specifically Australian men have big heads and tiny ears.
Ed Larson
I guess there's just less to hear out there.
Marcus Parks
Yes, there is.
Ed Larson
Yeah. Well, we're, we're coming close on some time, but I, I wanted to rapid fire go through some animal stories. There's some interesting stuff happening around. First one is in Ohio, which is this one. It's just too much fun to not bring up and, you know, define fun. But the. So a police officer in Ohio was shocked to find a raccoon holding a meth pipe after following its owner's arrest. This guy, he pulled over this woman and she had a raccoon who was legally her raccoon. She had the paperwork for the raccoon, but she did not have. Have paperwork for all the meth that she had. And then when the cop took her out of the car, the raccoon got a little frisky and grabbed the meth pipe. And we got some footage of it. Let's see it. Oh, hey.
Marcus Parks
Come here.
Ed Larson
Hello.
Marcus Parks
The raccoon has her meth pipe has what?
Ed Larson
Oh, my God.
Marcus Parks
Her meth pipe. He's playing with the meth pipe right now.
Ed Larson
No, don't reach for it.
Marcus Parks
That's evidence now.
Ed Larson
I wouldn't want him to have it. Well, that's why I'm gonna do it. Hey, buddy. He does seem like a nice raccoon.
Marcus Parks
Okay, you're on, Arlene. He'll be here in two minutes. I'm right across from my house.
Ed Larson
Yeah, this is what she's smoking. Nothing.
Marcus Parks
Okay.
Ed Larson
The raccoons playing with her bath pipe. All right, he's got another one now. Yeah, yeah, he's got two. Oh, there's no.
Marcus Parks
Yeah.
Ed Larson
And the raccoon found another one and immediately put it to its mouth. All right, all right.
Marcus Parks
Enough fun and games.
Ed Larson
I guess it's safe to assume that this raccoon has done meth before, but it seems pretty calm.
Marcus Parks
Yeah, I think it was eaten meth.
Ed Larson
Yeah.
Marcus Parks
Yeah, yeah, yeah. You don't know if, like, it's smoked, but. Well, he's probably just. They might have blown smoke in its face.
Ed Larson
Yes. I mean, who knows what happened? I'm sorry. That this woman got addicted to drugs. Drugs. And was so loosey goosey with them that her raccoon was playing with her meth pipe during a traffic stop. But, you know, not just loosey goosey.
Marcus Parks
But that she smokes enough meth to drive around with multiple meth pipes. Yeah, that one. And one was very used, and one was just, you know, brand new.
Ed Larson
As someone who used to drive and smoke weed, I only had one pipe with me.
Marcus Parks
Yeah.
Ed Larson
So. And that's, you know, maybe that's the difference between weed and meth, but the.
Marcus Parks
Meth, you don't want to get. Get, like, caught flat footed.
Ed Larson
Yeah.
Marcus Parks
Always be ready. Oh, and the raccoon's name was Chewy.
Ed Larson
Oh, Chewy. Well, I hope they don't euthanize you, Chewy. While our officers are trained to expect the unexpected, finding a raccoon holding a meth pipe is a first. No raccoons were hurt or injured in the incident. Thank God. Always we remain committed to keeping our community safe, no matter what surprises come our way. So thank you to the Cuyahoga Falls Police. Police Department. I guess that's outside of Cleveland. That checks out. Yeah. And.
Marcus Parks
Oh, wow.
Ed Larson
And, you know, I, you know, shout out to Travis Irvine.
Marcus Parks
Yeah.
Ed Larson
Our own Ohio raccoon networks here, and he doesn't do meth. And so that's good.
Marcus Parks
Does not. And as far as I know, never has.
Ed Larson
Yeah, never has.
Marcus Parks
Yeah.
Ed Larson
And.
Marcus Parks
And speaking of Cleveland. We'll see you on November 29th. We're gonna be at the Masonic Temple. Can't wait to come play a show for you. The full Last Podcast on the Left Show. Cleveland, Ohio Masonic Temple Saturday, November 29 Go to last podcast on the left.com for tickets to that show and many more.
Ed Larson
Yeah, that's the Saturday directly after Thanksgiving. So that's going to be a lot of fun. I'm actually going to be going to visit my family in Cincinnati and then drive on over, go to Rock and Roll hall of Fame and then do a show for you. Wild cheeseburger loving. So while I was in Florida, real quick, I just want to say like there was crazy ambassador animal deaths. The first black bear kill in Florida happened in Naples when I was in Naples.
Marcus Parks
This is nuts.
Ed Larson
Yeah. No, a black bear killed a man and his dog. It is. There has been multiple bear attacks in Florida before, but this is the first bear officially killing somebody in Florida and eating them and eating and a black bear. It's usually not a black bear. Bears are supposedly the most chill of the bears.
Marcus Parks
Yeah. Don't you just have to shout at a black bear and he's.
Ed Larson
Yeah. You ring a bell? Yeah, I was walking my friend's dog and I was like, there's a bell. What's the bell for? And like, oh, when you see a bear, you, you ring the bell. I was like, well, you walk your dog and. Yeah, but the black. It was weighing close to 300 pounds. That's not even on that, you know. And so it's not even that big of a bear. But it did fucking kill this old man. 89 year old man. That's the main. That's. I think that's the he I would have been eating. He was probably, you know, he was old. What a way to go out at 89, by the way.
Marcus Parks
I think about that all the time. When an old person dies a really grisly or gruesome or bizarre death, I do think about that. It's like you make it that and you're like, once you pass like 82, you're like, okay, I'm definitely dying of old age. Like I'm definitely dying like of a disease. Like I'm dying in a bed. Like I've made it. I'm dying in a bed. Yeah, like, nope. 89 bear attack, eaten by a bear.
Ed Larson
You're retired in the same town as Larry Bird and Bob Seeger, Jugg Judy and you fucking get attacked by a bear and that's how you go Out. Fucking crazy. Also, there was alligator kill in Florida. Oh. Before I move on, I just wanted to tip you off to this and our listeners at home. This has not been updated to one of my favorite Wikipedia pages. So hopefully this gets updated soon. Anyone who out there who updates Wikipedia, do this for me. But there is a list of fatal bear attacks in North America Wikipedia page. And it goes all the way back to the 1780s. It's a delight. Each story is better than the last. I'm just gonna pick a random one. We'll say this one was September 20, 2005. Arthur Louie, a six year old male in Canada near Brown River, British Columbia. A female and two cubs attacked Louie on a remote forestry road. He was walking back from his gold mining camp after his car broke down. There's lots of stories like this and they all got little, they all got little ones and it's always so interesting. They're moving mostly in Canada. Yeah, Canada is where people get killed by bears the most. Or Alaska, but here I'll just pick another one. These are, you know, these are wild. These are good. I believe the, the revenant guy is in here somewhere too, if you dive deep enough. But yeah, so we got October 22, 1956. Kenneth Scott, 29, male, US near Augusta, Montana. While elk hunting, a hunter in Scott's group was attacked and the bear was shot and wounded. When they went back to kill the bear, Scott's gun, James jammed and the bear mauled him. So they should have left him alone. Yeah, you got away. You went back and the bear killed you. The bear was later killed by another hunter. But yeah, each one of these stories are nuts.
Marcus Parks
Yeah. Oh, I was looking back to prohibition times because I was gonna see if a moonshiner got eaten by bear.
Ed Larson
You never know.
Marcus Parks
Dr. Joseph Germaine, Olga Gregor, Chuck, Jack Thayer. Now mostly for Forest Service employees. Actually, it's a lot of Forest Service employees.
Ed Larson
Oh yeah, for sure. Check this one out. 1855, John Gris, Leslie Adams. The man's name, 48 years old, Sierra Nevada, California. Professional trapper and trainer of wild animals. He was badly injured while injured dislodging his scalp and leaving a silver dollar hole in his head. He died in 1860 from complications of his scalp wound. I mean, H story. They're quick little three sentence bangers.
Marcus Parks
Listen to this two sentence banger. Frank Welch, 61. September 8, 1916. Welch was killed at a camp near Sylvan Pass at Yellowstone National Park. While carrying a load of hay and oats. Men from the camp killed the Bear with a dynamite trap.
Ed Larson
Damn. Damn.
Marcus Parks
Blew up the bear.
Ed Larson
All right. Eight. One more. 1850, Fielding Isaacs, no age Fielding, was found with his skull crushed in a 1300 pound grizzly's mouth with his knife broken in the grizzly's neck and both deceased. Col. William Smith, aka Rebel Bill, wrote an autobiography to detail the incident in his autobiography. So it could be fake. Wow. But yeah, it's just each story is more amazing than the next.
Marcus Parks
John Deked, November 20, 1906. Thinking the Bear was dead, deaked began skinning it. The bear immediately awoke and tore off one of Deke's arms. And then it killed him. Whoa. Oh. October 5th, 1908.
Ed Larson
That's my birthday.
Marcus Parks
Oh, wow. After a bear escaped from a cage at Elysian Grove Pleasure park in Tucson, Arizona, a woman named Bus Laird ran with her infant child in a go kart. The bear grabbed and killed the baby.
Ed Larson
No, not the baby. April 16, 1956. We got a twofer. Lloyd Pennington and Everett Kendall, USA the Copper River Census Area of Alaska. Two men were hunting a spotted bear den near Snowshoe Lake and attempted to lure the bear out, assuming it was weak and hungry. When it came out and killed them both, a rescue team shot and killed the bear and it was returned when it refused to back away. No, sorry they killed the bear.
Marcus Parks
Yeah, sorry they killed the bear.
Ed Larson
Yes.
Marcus Parks
You're always sad about that, you guys.
Ed Larson
You know, you go to a bear's house and you pick a fight. I don't know what you think's gonna happen.
Marcus Parks
My wife always says what Caroline always says when I'm playing video games and I'm going somewhere and I'm fighting somebody, I'm killing a bunch of people. And she has. Did you go into his house?
Ed Larson
Yeah.
Marcus Parks
Did you. Did you go to where he lives and is he now defending his home? Like. Well, maybe. But he would have killed me anyway, as the bandits do. They don't just wait. I go to the bandit's house and I shove a fucking sword into his throat and I set him on fire. And then I go looking for the other Oblivion Gates.
Ed Larson
Oh, man. All right. And finally, a Florida one was killed by an alligator during canoeing trip. She was in Tiger Creek near Lake Kissimmee in Polk county last Tuesday. She was 61 years old. She was on the canoe with her husband and they. There was an alligator. It was shallow water, and they hit the gator, which was 11ft long, and it tipped over the canoe and the gator killed her. And the husband, unfortunately, was not Able to save her even though he tried. That shit fucking happens. But we did lose a famous alligator.
Marcus Parks
Big gator.
Ed Larson
Who I really want to. I think we should. We should shout out to Morris. The 640 pound alligator. Believed to have been more than 80 years old. And the source of an impressive list of movie and TV credits. Most famously, he was the alligator from Happy Gilmore.
Marcus Parks
He was the alligator that took Chubb's hand.
Ed Larson
Yes. I can't believe he lived. Lived longer than Carl Weathers.
Marcus Parks
Isn't that the like. Yeah. Kills him in the movie or not kills him. You know, I've had technically Happy kills by scaring him with the head of the gator.
Ed Larson
But.
Marcus Parks
But he, you know, kills him.
Ed Larson
Took his eye.
Marcus Parks
Yeah. Kills him in the movie and then, then, then he outlives him.
Ed Larson
Yeah. He. He was Also in Alligator 1 and Alligator 2. Interview with the vampire doctor do little eraser. Great alligator seat in eraser.
Marcus Parks
That is a fantastic alligator scene.
Ed Larson
Great alligator scene. Blues Brothers 2000. Don't remember the alligator in Blues Brothers 2000.
Marcus Parks
I don't remember Blues Brothers 2000, but I mean, I know it exists. But yes, the plot escapes me.
Ed Larson
As it should. So. Morris, shout out to you. This episode is dedicated to you and Henry's father. May you be reunited and held together.
Marcus Parks
The Morris does who gets stopped billing.
Ed Larson
I mean, unfortunately, Henry's dad. Dad was almost in daylight.
Marcus Parks
That is true.
Ed Larson
He was almost. The Sylvester Stallone tunnel rescue film. He was almost in that. They filmed the scene, but they ended up cutting it. So I. Top billing goes to Mars.
Marcus Parks
All right. All right.
Ed Larson
Yeah. But Henry's dad also shout out to you. We love you so much, Henry Senior.
Marcus Parks
Big shout out.
Ed Larson
But yeah, you're second place to Morris, unfortunately.
Marcus Parks
I mean, come on. Morris was on coach.
Ed Larson
Yeah.
Marcus Parks
So.
Ed Larson
I mean, Coach is a great show. Night Court, Leno, you know, he. He done a lot. He's done lots of good work. And we could all Hope for a 20 year retirement.
Marcus Parks
We really could, you know.
Ed Larson
Yeah.
Marcus Parks
In Florida.
Ed Larson
Yeah. So.
Marcus Parks
Or no, this is Colorado.
Ed Larson
He was in Colorado. I'd rather.
Marcus Parks
I would rather retire in Colorado than Florida.
Ed Larson
N. Yeah. Oh. I mean, it's not. I mean, it's. It's a better place as far as like, you know, humanity goes. But as far as like fun and having a great time. I mean, nothing's better than Florida. I just realized that I miss my home so much and I had a great time there. No matter how hard horrible it may be, you're my horrible. And I'll be with you forever.
Marcus Parks
Florida and one last quote from the story covering the gator that died in Colorado. He died in a gator reserve that, you know, these guys put together to because they had a fish farm and didn't know what to do with all their, like, leftover fish heads. So they started rescuing gators and they had. And they built a little park around it. And they said in an update on Monday, they announced, we have decided to get Morris taxidermied so that he can continue to scare children for years to come. It's what he would have wanted.
Ed Larson
Yes, absolutely.
Marcus Parks
Yeah.
Ed Larson
Taxidermy. Everybody's a very taxidermy. Heavy episode. Lots of animals. We love you guys. Oh, we have one listener mail. I'll get to it real fast. I'll read it real fast. But this is. It was very nice. Scared Stupid. Listening to the last side Stories episode about Alien movies, Henry mentioned in inadvertent scary movies that left lasting impression from our childhood. Mine unabashedly, is Earnest Scared Stupid. Yeah, hear me. It scared the fudge out of me too.
Marcus Parks
By the way, I loved Earnest Scared Stupid.
Ed Larson
It's the best one is so easily.
Marcus Parks
Yeah, I loved it so much because I loved Earnest and I loved horror movies. Yeah, it was the first movie that I ever watched and then immediately rewound and watched the second time.
Ed Larson
Those trolls were fudgeing nasty too. Yeah, they were very scary.
Marcus Parks
All the snot. And Ernest was very funny.
Ed Larson
Oh, yeah, hear me out. While visiting some cousins in South Jersey, I was invited to watch this movie. As the only kid in the house and undoubtedly getting on everyone's nerves, I was set down in front of an old TV to watch this movie. Short of recapping the whole plot, I was scared stupid. To put it plainly, this movie was that made me afraid of the dark. To my knowledge, I previously was not. After watching trolls hatch out of tree eggs and dissolve after being squirted with super soakers filled with milk, my authentic romance Romanian meak. My ride through the pine barons back home was terrifying. The pine barons are a scary place. Lots of bodies there.
Marcus Parks
Oh, yeah. Devil.
Ed Larson
Oh, yeah. This movie was the reason I don't hang my leg out of my bed, out of the sheets anymore. The whole. They can't get you if you're fully covered. I've, I, I mean, yeah, yeah, absolutely.
Marcus Parks
Oh, yeah.
Ed Larson
I've let. I've let go of most of the fear, but God damn, I was horrified. This movie did scare the out of me.
Marcus Parks
Me too. But it scared me in the best way possible. And all the kids getting you know, I think. Didn't they get their souls encased in trees? Yes. Yeah.
Ed Larson
No, it was wild.
Marcus Parks
Yeah.
Ed Larson
Yeah, it was a good. Yeah. So this one's number one. Ernest Camp's got to be second.
Marcus Parks
Yeah.
Ed Larson
And then I guess Ernest goes to jail is pretty awesome. That fight scene at the end.
Marcus Parks
Jail. Well, the. The court scene with the pen in his mouth is one of the funniest scenes in movie history.
Ed Larson
Yeah.
Marcus Parks
Yeah. But just keeps getting more and more ink all over the place. And he's earnest. He's on trial for murder.
Ed Larson
Godamn.
Marcus Parks
Yeah.
Ed Larson
D Do I like him more than Hemingway?
Marcus Parks
How does the Sun Also Rise stack up to Saves Christmas? Did Ernest Hemingway ever save Christmas? No, he never went to Africa. Did he join the army?
Ed Larson
I think Ernest Hemingway went to Africa.
Marcus Parks
Possibly.
Ed Larson
I think he possibly went to Africa.
Marcus Parks
Did he go.
Ed Larson
He seems like he was a war reporter.
Marcus Parks
He seems like a safari guy.
Ed Larson
Yeah, I think he. I think there's a good chance Hemingway went to Africa. But. But regardless, you know, he definitely went to Paris, which I know was nothing like Africa. Oh, yeah.
Marcus Parks
Big. I was right. Safari guy.
Ed Larson
Yeah. Like it. He loved adventures.
Marcus Parks
Multiple. Yeah. Snows at Kilimanjaro. Greenhouse of Africa. Yeah, Kilimanjaro. That's the. That's the big one. I don't know. I'm not a big. I'm honestly like Hemingway. I prefer Tennessee Williams.
Ed Larson
Okay.
Marcus Parks
Yeah.
Ed Larson
Interesting. Well, give me the pen back.
Marcus Parks
No. Absolutely not. Absolutely not.
Ed Larson
Last puppy benefit on the left. May 23, 7pm Masonic Lodge at the Hollywood Forever Cemetery. Last podcast and I left no dogs in space. Special appearances from other members of the LPN family. But you don't give a about that cuz you get to play with puppies. So come on out and let's support these dogs and the people who basically what happened after the fires. A lot of people when they moved, they weren't able to take their dogs with them because they had to move very fast and into places that didn't take dogs. And so there's a lot of extra dogs that need places to go in Los Angeles right now. So we're doing this benefit to help out. I hope you will come and support as well. Contact in the desert is going to be from May 29 to June 2. We will be there doing multiple shows at the Renaissance Resort at the Coachella Valley. Last podcast on the left, we're touring the most. The two coming up soonest are going to be on June 28th. We're going to be in Atlanta at the Coca Cola Roxy. There's still some tickets for that. And in July 12, we're going to be in Salt Lake City at the Sandy Amphitheater. That's going to be my first outdoor show with y' all.
Marcus Parks
Outdoor fun. Shows are fun.
Ed Larson
I'm very excited. So y' all come out. I love you very much. Shout out to Big Henry. And we. I hope Henry is doing a little better. He is. I. It is. It's weird because it is nice. As someone who's, like, emotionally guarded as Henry is. It is Watching him confront his emotions, I think is like, this is. Is very interesting. And I applaud him.
Marcus Parks
Yes. As. As do I. And. And listener. Be sure to savor that because you won't see it.
Ed Larson
Yeah.
Marcus Parks
The most you're gonna get is secondhand.
Ed Larson
Yeah. Well, I love you guys very much and be good. And we'll talk to you in a.
Marcus Parks
Couple days later on y' all.
Ed Larson
That's right. I got a couple hails today. I got a. We got a hail of Big Henry, Hal Morris, and of course.
Marcus Parks
Yeah.
Ed Larson
Hail Robert the Doll.
Marcus Parks
Hail Robert the Doll. Thank you, Robert.
Ed Larson
We love you, Robert. Thank you for protecting us. Thank you, Robert.
Marcus Parks
Thank you. You're great.
Advertisement Speaker
Real businesses rely on Spectrum business. Get the fastest, most reliable Internet, starting at $40 a month. When bundled and backed by the Spectrum commitment. Find a plan that's made for your business@spectrum.com business restrictions apply. Services not available in all areas.
Pacifico is a Mexican lager brood to be discovered. It's like fresh tracks on a powder day like that uncharted trail a stone's throw away like the perfect wave on a sunny day Pacific find your own way. 21 plus drink responsibly. Imported by Crown Import, Chicago, Illinois.
Podcast Summary: Last Podcast On The Left
Episode: Side Stories: Raccoon with a Meth Pipe
Release Date: May 14, 2025
Host/Authors: The Last Podcast Network (Marcus Parks & Ed Larson)
Description: The Last Podcast on the Left delves into the horrors of our world, exploring both real and imagined terrors from demons and cults to serial killers and beyond.
Timestamp: 00:55 – 03:28
The episode opens with heartfelt news regarding the passing of Henry Zabrowski Senior, a beloved member of the Last Podcast on the Left family.
Ed Larson:
“We lost a member of the last podcast family and Big Henry Zabrowski Senior unfortunately has passed away...” [02:31]
Marcus Parks:
“Rest in peace, Henry Senior. And you go to that good old submarine in the Gulf of Mexico in the sky.” [03:06]
The hosts share personal anecdotes about Henry, highlighting his vibrant personality and the impact of his loss on the team.
Timestamp: 03:28 – 11:02
Marcus Parks shares his recent vacation to Kauai, Hawaii, detailing his adventures and the natural beauty he experienced.
The conversation shifts to the invasive species problem in Hawaii, particularly focusing on the introduction of mongooses and the resulting ecological impact.
Marcus reflects on the importance of preserving natural habitats and the emotional connections people have with places like Hawaii.
Timestamp: 21:05 – 32:23
Ed Larson recounts his visit to meet Robert the Doll at the Fort East Martello Museum in Key West, Florida. He describes the eerie yet friendly interaction he had with the haunted doll and the museum staff.
Marcus complements the experience, sharing their mutual fascination with Robert and the museum's paranormal activities.
The hosts discuss the significance of Robert in local folklore and his role in events like Fantasy Fest.
Timestamp: 41:05 – 46:20
The hosts delve into a grim update regarding serial killer Herb Meister, discussing the identification of his tenth victim through genealogy matches.
Ed Larson:
“They have identified the 10th victim found on the farm... Daniel Thomas Halloran.” [41:14]
Marcus Parks:
“It could be up to 25 people that he killed.” [41:22]
They explore the challenges in identifying victims from decades-old cases and the emotional toll it takes on families seeking closure.
Timestamp: 66:24 – 85:28
A bizarre incident in Ohio where a raccoon was found holding a meth pipe during a traffic stop.
Black Bear Attack:
The first recorded black bear fatality in Florida occurred when a bear killed an 89-year-old man and his dog in Naples.
Alligator Attack:
A tragic incident where a 61-year-old woman was killed by an alligator during a canoeing trip in Polk County.
Ed Larson:
“We did lose a famous alligator, Morris... he was the alligator from Happy Gilmore.” [77:12]
The hosts reflect on these attacks, sharing their views on wildlife encounters and safety measures.
Marcus and Ed discuss various historical bear attacks in North America, emphasizing the ferocity and unpredictability of wild animals.
Timestamp: 85:28 – End
A listener shares their experience of being scared by the movie Ernest Scared Stupid, prompting the hosts to reminisce about its impact.
Listener Mail:
“Scared Stupid listening to the last side Stories episode about Alien movies...” [85:28]
Marcus Parks:
“I loved Earnest Scared Stupid... first movie that I ever watched and then immediately rewound and watched the second time.” [80:32]
They discuss memorable scenes from the movie and its lasting effect on their perceptions of horror.
Timestamp: 85:28 – End
The hosts announce upcoming live shows, including a special puppy benefit to support dog rescues in Los Angeles.
They conclude with tributes to Henry Zabrowski Senior and the beloved alligator Morris, expressing their ongoing bond with their lost family members and favorite animals.
Marcus Parks:
“Thank you, Robert. You're great.” [85:02]
Ed Larson:
“We love you, Robert. Thank you for protecting us.” [85:05]
Notable Quotes:
Conclusion: In this episode of Last Podcast On The Left, Marcus Parks and Ed Larson navigate through a mix of personal tributes, paranormal encounters, chilling serial killer updates, and bizarre animal-related news. Their candid discussions, infused with humor and heartfelt moments, provide listeners with a comprehensive and engaging dive into both the lighthearted and dark aspects of their experiences and interests.