Side Stories: Raccoon with a Meth Pipe

Summary

Podcast Summary: Last Podcast On The Left Episode: Side Stories: Raccoon with a Meth Pipe
Release Date: May 14, 2025
Host/Authors: The Last Podcast Network (Marcus Parks & Ed Larson)
Description: The Last Podcast on the Left delves into the horrors of our world, exploring both real and imagined terrors from demons and cults to serial killers and beyond.

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1. Tribute to Henry Zabrowski Senior

Timestamp: 00:55 – 03:28

The episode opens with heartfelt news regarding the passing of Henry Zabrowski Senior, a beloved member of the Last Podcast on the Left family.

• Ed Larson:
  “We lost a member of the last podcast family and Big Henry Zabrowski Senior unfortunately has passed away...” [02:31]

• Marcus Parks:
  “Rest in peace, Henry Senior. And you go to that good old submarine in the Gulf of Mexico in the sky.” [03:06]

The hosts share personal anecdotes about Henry, highlighting his vibrant personality and the impact of his loss on the team.

• Ed Larson:
  “He was a lot of fun. I remember the day I met him was when I helped Jackie move into her dorm at Florida State...” [03:14]

2. Personal Updates: Vacations and Experiences

Timestamp: 03:28 – 11:02

Marcus Parks shares his recent vacation to Kauai, Hawaii, detailing his adventures and the natural beauty he experienced.

• Marcus Parks:
  “When kayaking down this river to these secret falls... felt like something had been washed away.” [05:15]

The conversation shifts to the invasive species problem in Hawaii, particularly focusing on the introduction of mongooses and the resulting ecological impact.

• Ed Larson:
  “Now there's a cats everywhere. And then the cats are a problem, the rats are a problem, the mongoose are a problem.” [07:29]

Marcus reflects on the importance of preserving natural habitats and the emotional connections people have with places like Hawaii.

• Marcus Parks:
  “I would kill to preserve this place and to, like, keep this place safe.” [09:24]

3. Robert the Doll and Paranormal Experiences

Timestamp: 21:05 – 32:23

Ed Larson recounts his visit to meet Robert the Doll at the Fort East Martello Museum in Key West, Florida. He describes the eerie yet friendly interaction he had with the haunted doll and the museum staff.

• Ed Larson:
  “I brought him some of my merch... Robert did it.” [25:10]

Marcus complements the experience, sharing their mutual fascination with Robert and the museum's paranormal activities.

• Marcus Parks:
  “He is a star already. He was on stage all weekend.” [25:23]

The hosts discuss the significance of Robert in local folklore and his role in events like Fantasy Fest.

• Ed Larson:
  “Robert was great. He was a grand marshal of Fantasy Fest.” [29:10]

4. Recent News: Serial Killer Victims

Timestamp: 41:05 – 46:20

The hosts delve into a grim update regarding serial killer Herb Meister, discussing the identification of his tenth victim through genealogy matches.

• Ed Larson:
  “They have identified the 10th victim found on the farm... Daniel Thomas Halloran.” [41:14]

• Marcus Parks:
  “It could be up to 25 people that he killed.” [41:22]

They explore the challenges in identifying victims from decades-old cases and the emotional toll it takes on families seeking closure.

• Ed Larson:
  “They found another victim of her. Baumaster.” [35:44]

5. Animal-Related News: Raccoon with a Meth Pipe & More

Timestamp: 66:24 – 85:28

Raccoon with a Meth Pipe

A bizarre incident in Ohio where a raccoon was found holding a meth pipe during a traffic stop.

• Marcus Parks:
  “The raccoon has her meth pipe... He's playing with the meth pipe right now.” [66:24]

Bear and Alligator Attacks in Florida

• Black Bear Attack:
  The first recorded black bear fatality in Florida occurred when a bear killed an 89-year-old man and his dog in Naples.

• Alligator Attack:
  A tragic incident where a 61-year-old woman was killed by an alligator during a canoeing trip in Polk County.

• Ed Larson:
  “We did lose a famous alligator, Morris... he was the alligator from Happy Gilmore.” [77:12]

The hosts reflect on these attacks, sharing their views on wildlife encounters and safety measures.

Additional Animal Stories

Marcus and Ed discuss various historical bear attacks in North America, emphasizing the ferocity and unpredictability of wild animals.

• Marcus Parks:
  “These are wild. These are good. I believe the revenant guy is in here somewhere too...” [73:36]

6. Listener Mail and Movie Reflections

Timestamp: 85:28 – End

A listener shares their experience of being scared by the movie Ernest Scared Stupid, prompting the hosts to reminisce about its impact.

• Listener Mail:
  “Scared Stupid listening to the last side Stories episode about Alien movies...” [85:28]

• Marcus Parks:
  “I loved Earnest Scared Stupid... first movie that I ever watched and then immediately rewound and watched the second time.” [80:32]

They discuss memorable scenes from the movie and its lasting effect on their perceptions of horror.

7. Upcoming Events and Final Tributes

Timestamp: 85:28 – End

The hosts announce upcoming live shows, including a special puppy benefit to support dog rescues in Los Angeles.

• Ed Larson:
  “Last puppy benefit on the left. May 23, 7pm Masonic Lodge at the Hollywood Forever Cemetery...” [86:03]

They conclude with tributes to Henry Zabrowski Senior and the beloved alligator Morris, expressing their ongoing bond with their lost family members and favorite animals.

• Marcus Parks:
  “Thank you, Robert. You're great.” [85:02]

• Ed Larson:
  “We love you, Robert. Thank you for protecting us.” [85:05]

---

Notable Quotes:

• “We lost a member of the last podcast family...” — Ed Larson [02:31]
• “I would kill to preserve this place...” — Marcus Parks [09:24]
• “Robert was great. He was a grand marshal of Fantasy Fest.” — Ed Larson [29:10]
• “The raccoon has her meth pipe...” — Marcus Parks [66:24]
• “I loved Earnest Scared Stupid...” — Marcus Parks [80:32]

---

Conclusion: In this episode of Last Podcast On The Left, Marcus Parks and Ed Larson navigate through a mix of personal tributes, paranormal encounters, chilling serial killer updates, and bizarre animal-related news. Their candid discussions, infused with humor and heartfelt moments, provide listeners with a comprehensive and engaging dive into both the lighthearted and dark aspects of their experiences and interests.

Transcript

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[Marcus Parks]

There's no place to escape to.

[Ed Larson]

This is the last on the left side stories.

[Henry Zebrowski]

That's when the cannibalism started. Side stories.

[Marcus Parks]

Yes. I'd put money on Alec Baldwin's father being an alcoholic.

[Ed Larson]

How much?

[Marcus Parks]

50 bucks.

[Ed Larson]

Not. Not going to take it.

[Marcus Parks]

Welcome to side Stories. Ladies and gentlemen. My name is Marcus Parks. I'm here filling in for Henry Zabraski, here with Ed Larson. How you doing today, Ed?

[Ed Larson]

Pretty good. If you're going to fill in, I'm afraid I'm going to ask you to put on a lot more weight. You're too thin.

[Marcus Parks]

Boy, do we have a fat suit.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, we're going to go full CL today. Well, listen, obviously we hear Marcus because we have some unfortunate news. We lost a member of the last podcast family and Big Henry Zabrowski. Henry Zabrowski senior unfortunately has passed away and we will do a nice bigger announcement, but Henry's taking the week off and we're going to let the boy rest and let the against his own will.

[Marcus Parks]

Oh my God. A medical professional. Even though both of us are like, you know what? We don't. You don't have to. A medical professional. Had to ask him, why are you working right now?

[Ed Larson]

Oh, yeah, no, he's a maniac.

[Marcus Parks]

And committed. We say committed.

[Ed Larson]

Yes. And in, you know, hail Big Henry. We love you. I miss that guy already. He was a lot of fun. I remember we the day I met him was when I helped Jackie move in to her her dorm in. In at Florida State. And then Big Henry was there and I was like, all right, this is Henry's dad, you know, and he was so obnoxious. And we all went to Chili's and he kept yelling at the waitress and I was like, this guy's funny.

[Marcus Parks]

Yes. Rest in peace, Henry Senior. And you go to that good old submarine in the Gulf of Mexico in the sky.

[Ed Larson]

Yes, yes. And we will. I, Henry, and I will be awful about it next week. Don't worry, because I also have a dead dad. And, you know, we can commiserate that as well. I believe. I believe our dads died equally as horrible.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, you really did. Oh, man. Mine's the only one alive.

[Ed Larson]

That's right. That's right. You last. You made it, buddy. Congratulations.

[Marcus Parks]

Fuck, yeah.

[Ed Larson]

Hell, yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

I'm gonna call dad after this, tell him.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

He loves. There's nothing he loves more than outliving people.

[Ed Larson]

You know? I like it, too. Yeah, it's always a blast. So hail Big Henry. We're doing the show without little Henry this week and. But we took the week off yesterday. You still heard plenty of podcasts. We don't fucking take a week off from you. But we took a week off from our own lives and had some fun. You went to Hawaii to do anything? Silly. Did you get in trouble?

[Marcus Parks]

Fourth. My first vacation in four years.

[Ed Larson]

Wow.

[Marcus Parks]

Gone. A whole, like, a true vacation vacation. Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

No family, Just you and Carolina?

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, man.

[Ed Larson]

You went to the beach?

[Marcus Parks]

No, actually, we did mostly rainforest shit.

[Ed Larson]

Oh, yeah. I was going to. I don't know how well you do at the beach.

[Marcus Parks]

I had a lot of sunscreen on the entire time I was there. Like, slather. Like, I put the fucking spray on and then slather on the lotion.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, man, it was amazing. Yeah. When kayaking down this river to these secret falls. Ooh. Yeah, they were cool. And they have.

[Ed Larson]

Where are they?

[Marcus Parks]

Can't tell you.

[Ed Larson]

I was going to say try to get you. Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. He's going to take kayak down. Yeah. I went to Kauai. I want to say hello to Mike, who runs Aloha Tours, or I think it's called the Aloha Shuttle.

[Ed Larson]

Okay.

[Marcus Parks]

He's a big fan. Oh, it was fun. We got. Yeah, we got on the. The bus. The shuttle that, like, takes you around so you don't drive drunk to, like, different bars and, you know, resorts and shit.

[Ed Larson]

Oh, hell yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

You know, I got. He's like, hey, hey. Oh, shit. I know the. You guys are. Yeah. He's a big note, big no dogs in space fan. So thank you very much, Mike. We'll see you next time we're in Kauai.

[Ed Larson]

Amazing. I love so much, man.

[Marcus Parks]

Dude, it was just an actual relaxing time. Like, not like. It was just wonderful. And I had this moment under a waterfall where I was like, just fucking. I Mean barraged with water and came out as this cleansing moment. Felt fucking incredible. Like, I felt like something had been washed away.

[Ed Larson]

Oh, man, it's beautiful.

[Marcus Parks]

It was cool. And, you know, Hawaii, they have their very own little people.

[Ed Larson]

Really?

[Marcus Parks]

I can't remember what they're called. The Menehune.

[Ed Larson]

The Menehuni?

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. Minehuni. Yeah. They have this. It's this legend where they're kind of like their shoemaker elves.

[Ed Larson]

Okay.

[Marcus Parks]

Where the Menehune are these, like, tiny people, these dwarf people.

[Ed Larson]

Are they real?

[Marcus Parks]

No.

[Ed Larson]

Okay.

[Marcus Parks]

No, no. It's like a legend where they come out at night and they, you know, build bridges and they make shit happen. But what was interesting is that I looked up the menehuni and what. Did you ever hear about the hobbit skeleton?

[Ed Larson]

Yes.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. So it turns out that some people think that the Menehuni may actually have been some of those hobbit people that the original settlers of Hawaii, like, had taken from Indonesia or I think that's where they found the hob hobbit skeleton.

[Ed Larson]

Okay.

[Marcus Parks]

But had taken them from there. And they were, in fact, their servants. So, like, the original settlers of Hawaii may have had, like, an army of dwarves as their servants.

[Ed Larson]

Wow.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

That's fucking. It's bad. But also. Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

Can you imagine, like, settling a new land and, like, you just have a bunch of dwarves doing all of your.

[Ed Larson]

Work for you, Man, It's Wonka.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, it is.

[Ed Larson]

Except for pineapples.

[Marcus Parks]

Holy shit, dude. It's Holy Wonka.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. Oh, man. Hawaii is wonk land.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

All right.

[Ed Larson]

I love Hawaii, man. I can't wait to go back. There's lots of crazy shit there.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

It's all invasive species, and I think that's, you know, fine.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. Chickens everywhere. Because we went to Kauai, you know, and the reason why Kauai only has. Is the only island that has chickens is because back in, you know, when they were first settling the. The islands, they had a rat problem. And so one of the guys, he was a sale, you know, these guys, we talked about it in the Batavia series. These guys just sail everywhere. And so this guy gone from Hawaii to Africa and, like, some dud in some village somewhere. So, like, oh, yeah, you got a rat problem. Take a mongoose over there. I'll take care of it in a second.

[Ed Larson]

Yep.

[Marcus Parks]

Fucking dude. Got together 7,000 mongooses, mongoose, and just fucking put them on every single island except Hawaii. Which is why every other island doesn't really have, like, a big bird population. Yeah. But Kauai has a great bird population and chickens fucking everywhere.

[Ed Larson]

Know what happened with the mongoose thing? I learned this when I was over there because I was mongoose everywhere. The first time I saw mongoose, I was like, what the fuck is that? Among goose. I was like, flipping out and shit. And I was just like, what hell's going on with all the mongoose that came to kill the rats? But the problem with that was the what? The rats are nocturnal and the mongoose stay awake during the day. So they didn't kill them enough. So they had to bring in a bunch of cats. And now there's a cats everywhere. And then, you know, so now the cats are a problem, the rats are a problem, the mongoose are a problem. And so, you know, Hawaii is just filled with these invasive species. Shout out to my friend April McCormick, who has to kill some of those cats, unfortunately, from time to time. Wow. Because they, you know, there's so many of them, and they're with all the other thing, all the killing, all the birds and all this shit, you got.

[Marcus Parks]

To do a call.

[Ed Larson]

You got to do the thing.

[Marcus Parks]

So they worked for animal control.

[Ed Larson]

Yes. Well, she works for, like, like, science researchers. And then also she has to go kill cats occasionally. And, like, it's totally changed her. She used to be, like, a strict vegetarian.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

And like, you know, wouldn't, you know. And now she's just, like, hardened, eats pork and shit. Fucking. She's like a whole new person. And so, you know, shout out to her, I. Thanks for killing the cats.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

I don't know. Like, it's weird to, you know, but it's, you know, what are you going to do?

[Marcus Parks]

Well, that's the thing. I. I get it. Like, I get that, like, protectiveness because there was a moment we were on this hike on Sunday, and I was looking. It was the most beautiful hike I've ever taken in my life. It was up, like, on top of a mountain, going on the ridges. There's fucking valleys on both sides. See all of these, you know, huge plants and trees growing up. And this thought. I'd never had a thought like this in my head. It just suddenly popped in my head. And I thought, I would kill for this place.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

I would kill to preserve this place and to, like, keep this place safe.

[Ed Larson]

It is important place, Hawaii. I love it so much. Just, like, learning about it when I was there. It's. It's. It's wild. You want. And you know why everyone who lives there is so protective about It, Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

I. I got it. I definitely. I finally got it on that last day. Like, yeah, I understand. And I like. And I also even appreciated how chill people were about protecting it. Oh, they were very cool about it.

[Ed Larson]

They have to be. Otherwise, you know, you flip out. Hawaii, unfortunately, high suicide rate.

[Marcus Parks]

Really?

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. Yeah. And it's also. I learned Key west also has a high suicide rate. Well, and it's interesting. Well, it's like that island escape culture. I feel like, you know, it might invite people who are a little under the weather, mental health wise.

[Marcus Parks]

Can't run away from your problems.

[Ed Larson]

That's right.

[Marcus Parks]

Is someone going to the. Going to the island thinking this is going to fix everything? Like, if I only make it to Hawaii, if I only make it to Key west, then I'll be totally fine and all my problems will be solved.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

And you discover that does not happen at all.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, it's Prozac.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, Prozac works a lot. But the cool thing is that we went to Kauai. Like, it was funny. I realized later that it was somewhat like subconscious because we were choosing which island to go to. And finally I was like, no, no, let's go to Kauai. Like, that feels right. Like, let's just, let's try this place. And I realized the reason why is because Lori Valo, that's where she got arrested and that's where she. That her favorite island was Kauai. Okay. And she stayed on the north shore. We stayed on the.

[Ed Larson]

I mean, you know, you can like the same things. Yeah, it's okay. You know, he's very nice.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Aaron.

[Marcus Parks]

Chad got married on the beach. Like, remember they paid like $500 for, you know, a beach wedding and a photographer and that's where she was arrested and extradited from. But yeah, it was in Kauai. It was in Princeville. Up top, the shishi part. I was told, yes, of course. Yeah, of course. Always the best. Because they have to spend that insurance money from the murdered wife. Someh.

[Ed Larson]

But.

[Marcus Parks]

And that's. And I did, like, I had to stop myself from like just telling like random Lori Valo facts to strangers.

[Ed Larson]

Oh, yeah, it's hard.

[Marcus Parks]

Just don't fucking mention murder. Don't mention it. Don't mention it. Like, the only time that I really talked about was I was on a hike. Like when we went down to the Secret Falls. You, you know, we had a guide and we went like on a tour and you kayak down and there's like, we went with a bunch of bro dudes on like their bro vacation. Their bro. Their brocation.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

Like a bunch of guys and they're like late 20s, like early 30s, but, you know, of course, like, talking shit like dudes do. Regular dudes, like, hey, better shut up. Like, who else is going to put us on a podcast? Like, only if you murder someone.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. If you kill someone. You're on.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, if you kill someone, we're definitely going to talk about you a lot.

[Ed Larson]

If I met you and you're a murderer, you're in. Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

There's no way we're not talking about it.

[Ed Larson]

Man. With this picture. This, this. I guess these aren't Eng engagement. These are wedding photos.

[Marcus Parks]

These are wedding photos of Chad Daybell and Lori Valo.

[Ed Larson]

You think he's faking the guitar here?

[Marcus Parks]

The ukulele. He doesn't know how to play ukulele. They just handed it to him and said, pretend. Yeah, yeah. And she's trying to do a hula dance and looking horrible doing it. She doesn't have a ounce of rhythm in her life. A body.

[Ed Larson]

It is interesting to look at this photo and know that this man is going to get riddled but with bullets from the government. It really is, man.

[Marcus Parks]

I didn't think about it that way. God. Yeah. He's just gonna be fucking slumped up next to a pole with a bunch of fucking blood just gushing over.

[Ed Larson]

This would be the outfit, too, the white outfit. Like, it would be. If you're gonna do it, man, put him back in the fucking linen, man.

[Marcus Parks]

I wonder if you can request, like, the color, like, in which you can be killed. Yeah, request white dude.

[Ed Larson]

Dolphins jersey for me, for sure.

[Marcus Parks]

No, I'd say. What? I'd say white. White flannel.

[Ed Larson]

White flannel.

[Marcus Parks]

Can you do white flannel?

[Ed Larson]

I don't know. I don't know if I've ever seen white flannel.

[Marcus Parks]

It'd be hot. I just like flannel.

[Ed Larson]

I feel like it would have to mix with orange or something.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. All right, well, that's gonna fuck with just anything that shows the blood.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. Just make sure the blood is really on display, and then I'll be. Well, not happy because I'll be, you know, executed by the government, but satisfied.

[Ed Larson]

Satisfied. You made one choice.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

You made one choice. Yeah. Linen, I think, is always will be, would be the best cloth to be shot by the government in.

[Marcus Parks]

And on that note, how was your vacation?

[Ed Larson]

Well, speaking of invasive species, the invasive species tour was a success.

[Marcus Parks]

Hell, yeah.

[Ed Larson]

Thank you to everyone who came out. I did 11 shows over two separate tours, hour I. By myself. Finally. Never done it before. Done it 11 times now. And it's. It was great. It went really well. It's hard to. It's hard to, like, say that you did really well, but I did. Yeah. And it was cool. Everyone who came to the shows had a great time. I loved meeting everyone. Thank you so much for everyone that understood that Henry obviously called out from the side story shows and Dania and Orlando, he even, like. Even then, even though he called out, he still, like, called. He let me call him during the show and. And make fun of him. And so, you know, it was. It was a. It was a journey. And, you know, and it was like, luckily I had a bunch of dead dad jokes that I could tell. And, you know, it just. It went right. Segued real well.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. Sometimes these things dovetail.

[Ed Larson]

But the shows were amazing. I had an awesome time. Naples. Naples. And there was everywhere I went, it seemed like there was a weird Florida tragedy followed me. And we'll get to some of the stories later on, but, yeah, literally, there was a bear attack in Naples. There was an alligator attack close to Fort Lauderdale. It was. It was crazy.

[Marcus Parks]

Welcome to the Synchronicity, my friend.

[Ed Larson]

I know. It's wild how it just happens.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, man. It just happens wherever you go. Somehow things just. Just get attached somehow. And it's weird how it happens.

[Ed Larson]

I've noticed. Yeah. We made fun of the old Pope the day before we got a. Before he died. It's just wild how this shit goes. Man, oh, man.

[Marcus Parks]

Oh, the Pope. I had so much fun watching Pope news. Yeah. In Hawaii, like, we had a whole Pope. Morning.

[Ed Larson]

New Chicago Pope.

[Marcus Parks]

Chicago style Pope.

[Ed Larson]

Welcome. Yeah. Does that mean he put a pickle on him?

[Marcus Parks]

It's incredible. The Chicago style Pope beat another cardinal actually named Pizza Balla.

[Ed Larson]

Oh, yeah. Talk about some Italian beef.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. No, I kept singing this song. I don't know why I got this song stuck in my head, like, during the whole thing, I just kept singing, like, when you're in Rome and you are choosing a pope, you can always form a conclave. So the whole trip, me and Carolina just kept going, conclave.

[Ed Larson]

Oh, my God. Chicago Pope. And he seems to be not racist. Yeah. And that. Which is wild.

[Marcus Parks]

It's wild.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

I mean, definitely harboring pedophiles and, you know, sexual abusers. But it's for sure, as one person did make a point.

[Ed Larson]

He's a Pope.

[Marcus Parks]

He's a Pope. It's like, you're not really gonna find a guy until, like, I don't know, maybe 40, 50 years from now, maybe who wasn't involved in that in some way.

[Ed Larson]

They would have to stop event.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

That is.

[Marcus Parks]

That is true. No, when I met like 40 or 50 years, like at once. We're down to like six priests.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

You know, he's not getting new ones all that. All that often.

[Ed Larson]

Well, I can't wait to discover whatever nightmares this man has committed in his past. I'm sure there's a couple, but. So far, so good. New Pope, you know, we're all rooting for you.

[Marcus Parks]

So far so good. And the end. The Pope's brother seems nice.

[Ed Larson]

Oh, yeah, they keep. I don't know anything about him.

[Marcus Parks]

He's just some dude in Chicago. Like, he, like, lives in the suburbs. Like. Yeah, you know, like we was last week was playing Words with Friends and, you know, we went to conclave, actually, you know, it's good. It's pretty good. Ah, he's maga. Got it.

[Ed Larson]

No, but I thought. No, they hated him. They. They've been fighting. The MAGA's been fighting with him a bunch.

[Marcus Parks]

Well, apparently the Pope's brother is maga.

[Ed Larson]

Oh, well, of course he is.

[Marcus Parks]

Oh, yeah, he's from Chicago. Yeah, he's from Chicago and moved Florida. Okay.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, and the Pope's brother, you know, I mean, what do we expect here? Yeah, you know, like, it's like, may we all be judged by the worst member in our family.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. True, Very true, Very true.

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[Henry Zebrowski]

This podcast is brought to you by Squarespace. Squarespace gives you everything you need to offer services and get paid all in one place. Seems amazing, right? It's because it is. From consultations to events and experiences, showcase your offerings with a customizable website designed to attract clients and grow your business. Which is good because let's just say I need it. You know, as you may or may not know, I lost horsepix.com in a very, very public and embarrassing auction to a young man by the name of Charlie Bucket, who has decided to take my horse picks and drive it towards the right. Some of the incendiary horse picks that I've seen, including Steve Bannon on a Clydesdale. One of the worst I saw was Ivanka Trump inside of a mayor. And I know that this is not the direction that I saw horsepix.com and. And that little boy I didn't that he'd become a full fledged Nazi and. And grow his hair into broccoli shapes and do all sorts of things I don't understand. Which is why I've started Emu Paintings.com thank you Squarespace, because Emu Paintings.com are these really, it's an exceptional way for me to get you paintings of emus in various positions that emus would normally be. And in a way, I find it both amusing and inspiring to see what emus can do using the painter's brush and imagination. And if it wasn't for Squarespace, I would be absolutely F'd to the gills. That's the term for being absolutely s out of luck. Squarespace, thank you for streamlining your workflow with built in tools because I would not have been able to get this website up fast enough due to the legal fees I've received and the personal heartache and my own health deteriorating. I just want to say thank you Squarespace, for all your help and emu paintings.com is going to be just as good and just as funny and relevant.

[Ed Larson]

I promise.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Head to squarespace.com left for a free trial when you're ready to launch. Use offer code left to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.

[Advertisement Speaker]

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[Ed Larson]

But I had such a good time in Florida there. It was just an amazing time. So much good food. I went to the beach. Shout out to Adam Wurtz and Julie Rosing for shepherding me and being my tour managers and helping me sell merch and. But I think the most important part of my trip was Key West. Chickens everywhere, by the way, covered in chickens. Breakfast was expensive and I'm. No, you know what? It's like someone's up.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

There's like, there's chickens everywhere. You just give me the eggs, you know. And I know what it was. I saw a bunch of baby chickens. They let them live and. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think that's the main problem.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. And. Well, it's free range too. So it's hard to know where they're laying the egg.

[Ed Larson]

Eggs. Yeah. And you know, they eat trash.

[Marcus Parks]

But regardless, it's not going to be great. Yeah, it's free range trash chickens. It's not.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

It's not like in a really nice, it's not like my mom's chickens that get really good food.

[Ed Larson]

But I brought gifts for everybody. Oh, yes. And so a little something for you, a little something for Robin, a little something for the studio. But before I show you, I, I went and full disclose, I went and met and visited Rob Robert.

[Marcus Parks]

Robert the doll.

[Ed Larson]

Robert the doll.

[Marcus Parks]

The haunted doll.

[Ed Larson]

Robert the haunted doll. The most haunted doll in the world, apparently. Yeah, yeah, no, I went and visited me. There is definitely something off. Yeah. No question about it. You know, he was, he was very nice. I talked to him. I apologized for what Henry said about him on the show and when the mics cut out and stuff like that, I apologize. I brought him some of my merch. I had, I have actually some of my merch was I got biggest baby merch, you know, that I sell at the show shows, but I actually made like child sized shirts for like my relatives and I had extra. So I brought like a child's Eddie Ed Larson biggest baby shirt for Robert. I told him he doesn't have to wear it. He doesn't want to, but you know, it's his. I wrote him a little note from last podcast and I left thanking him for his contribution to our show and he was great. And I, I asked for permission before we filmed him and then he, I assuming he said yes. And we, we filmed him, me and him talking for a little bit and he was very sweet. I really think that, that he's been, he was, he really helped me get through those last three shows because I was so tired at the end of the tour. And the power of Robert, really, because that first show in Key west, the Friday, it was good, but it was like my worst show.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

And because I was beat because after those two shows in Orlando without Henry and then those long ass meet and greets and I was the, I was working hard. I, I'm one hour asleep. You know, I was all up and then Saturday morning I woke up, I was like, we need to go see Robert and make sure everything's okay. And you know, because I sense that we were in town. Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

You can't go to Key west and not go see Rober.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. So I went and saw Robert and also I, I got us for the Studio, I got us a recreation of Robert, but Rob, I, I, before I take him out, you know, please say something nice to Robert because I, I showed Robert our Robert, and I wanted to make sure that, like, he knew, like, you know, so part of Robert might be with me right now. So just say, just ask him if it's okay that we put, we put him on camera and he lives at the studio and stuff like that. Hey, Robert, just wondering if I can put you on camera and if we.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Can talk about you on side stories.

[Marcus Parks]

Totally going to be nice.

[Ed Larson]

Not going to say anything rude or inappropriate about you.

[Marcus Parks]

And don't forget to ask him if we can have him in here and.

[Ed Larson]

Can we have you in the studio, please? I think he says yes.

[Marcus Parks]

All right.

[Ed Larson]

So I also, I brought him on stage with me every night and then, like, I kept, like, asking him if my jokes were funny. No one in the audience really got it, but I had a great time. So here's our on Robert. Yes. This is, this is ours.

[Marcus Parks]

Incredible.

[Ed Larson]

He is a star already. He came. Yeah, he was on stage all weekend. He was, he was amazing. He did a great job. He was a good boy. I said good night to him. I apologize that I made him sleep at the, at the comedy club. Shout out to Comedy Key west for letting Robert crash there all weekend. And he was really appreciative. I gave him. He's got his box here, but he's gonna, he'll join us in the background at the Stud. Thank you, Robert, for everything you do. I really appreciate everything, buddy.

[Marcus Parks]

Thank you very much. Robert. You've been, you've been a very good sport about all of this, so thank you.

[Ed Larson]

Now the real Robert the Doll I met. First of all, thank you, Steve, for all the work that you do over there. Make sure you go visit Robert the Doll over at the Fort East Martello Museum, which is the Fort Zachary. First of all, Robert is like, far from the most haunted thing in that museum. Oh, yeah, yeah. It is like, it was a war, like, fort. And a lot of people don't know this, but Key west fought for the Union.

[Marcus Parks]

I had no clue. I never think of Florida as a Civil War battleground at all.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, no, I don't think there was much battling there, but they had a fort in case something happened.

[Marcus Parks]

Sure.

[Ed Larson]

But they got hit also later on after the Civil War. They got hit really hard with the, with the flu, with the Spanish flu. And lots of bodies were, were. That's where they put all the bodies.

[Marcus Parks]

I'd heard that.

[Ed Larson]

And they were like, stacked up and like in Yellow Fever. That's what it was.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

And it was. They were stacked up from Seal. And then you're walking through all these, like. And it's empty now. They didn't put nothing where the bodies were. And it's cold. It was 100 degrees outside. It was cold in there. It was scary. And this other. And then. So Steve, who works the front gate, he was like. He loved that. You know, I was into this.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

Because usually it's just people walking around that are drunk and shit. And he was. He was.

[Marcus Parks]

You want to go? You know. Well, sometimes people don't know about me when I've been drinking. Daydreaming, especially. I love museums. And that's just because you get knowledge and it's power. And we just gotta go. Get us in there.

[Ed Larson]

Let me see this all. Let me see. I'm a cockama. But, yeah. No, so. So many people have wrote letters and they show all the letters and stuff like that I wrote on the chalkboard for us and stuff. And I. I gave a letter. So I think they're going to present our letter to Robert, which is good. But there's lots of interesting things I learned about Robert. I remember I forgot that inside, Robert is the soul of a little girl, not a little boy. Yeah, yeah. Which. Which I. I forgot until I got there and I was like, okay. Good to know. Recently. Ever hear a fantasy fan fest?

[Marcus Parks]

No.

[Ed Larson]

So in Key west, there's like this thing every year called Fantasy Fest. And it's like when a bunch of big fat Floridians get together and each other in front of everybody. And it's nudist. It's all a bunch of nudists. Everyone's walking around with big, big old saggy painted titties.

[Marcus Parks]

And it's that kind of fantasy fest. I had an entirely different thing put in my mind. I thought it was going to be like, fantasy novels. A bunch of people dressed up as Gandal.

[Ed Larson]

No, no, no, no, no, no, no. It's fucking. And.

[Marcus Parks]

You know, in Hawaii, real quick and quiet, like, I was. We were asking our tour guys, like, hey, look, what do we. You know, what's a cool thing to do around you? Like, there's a couple of new beaches. There's one of them. It's called Secrets. You can go to that one like that. That's a new beach. There's another one, though. People are going to be fogging, just so you know. People are going to be fucking, like, out in the open. I'm like, I was talking about, like, a bar.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, yeah. Well, it's a new bar you should go to in Key West. There is one called the Gard of Eden. Don't go there. The people are the same. People go to Fantasy Fest. But. So last year, they had. They. Robert. They was commissioned to. To lead Fantasy Fest, and everyone was so worried because they want to be able to take pictures and.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

And they were really worried that if, you know, Robert was leading Fantasy Fest, that they wouldn't be allowed to take pictures. So what they did was they made an exact replica of Robert, and then they took the replica to Robert and then said, robert, Robert, would you please? If you want to come to the parade, feel free to enter this stall. I will bring this doll to the parade, and then when the parade is over, I will bring it back, and you will. And then you can enter back into Robert. And they claim that they did that. Fantasy Fest went off without a hitch. It was a great time. No one died. No one got run over by a parade float. And. Yeah, yeah. David Sloan, great guy. And then he was the grand marshal with Robert. And what happened? And then he came back, and then he said when he was put Robert back into the doll or the little girl back into Robert, that he heard a little giggle. Aw. And I guess that signifies that Robert had a good time.

[Marcus Parks]

That's funny. This is the first time I saw this ad up here for the whole thing for Fantasy Fest. It's the first time a haunted doll has ever been sponsored by Bud Light.

[Ed Larson]

Florida, baby. What a great time.

[Marcus Parks]

Bud Light presents Robert the dog.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. So Robert was great. He. He was a grand marshal of Fantasy Fest. But that place, like, the dude, Steve, he was showing me all these videos, like, legitimate videos of orbs that he gets when he's closing down at night stuff. But then there's also videos where, like, the lights are flickering, and then he'll be like. And then you hear him go, if you're here, flicker the lights. Like, the lights are already flickering. You know, it's like. So it's like, you know, it's. You know, take what you will. Of course, he also had this app on his phone called Ghost Vox or something like that.

[Marcus Parks]

Okay.

[Ed Larson]

Where you can, like, talk to the ghosts and they can resp. Respond to you through an app on your phone. It's. I don't know how true it was, but it was always. It was interesting.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. I haven't heard of Ghost Vox.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Ghost Vox. Maybe not box, but. Yeah. No, it was. Yeah. I don't. I never heard of it before, but he had it and he loved using it. And, you know, shout out to Steve and all the work you do down there at. At the. The Fort East Martello Museum and keeping Robert safe. And I was so happy to meet him. And I. Julie. I introduced him to Julie. She didn't like Robert as much as I did, but she understood where my love is. But she said it is getting a little obsessive.

[Marcus Parks]

Just your love for Robert, the doll in particular?

[Ed Larson]

Yes.

[Marcus Parks]

Okay. Not just in general paranormal. It's just like you're really focusing in on this one haunted doll.

[Ed Larson]

I like Robert. Robert's my guy. We're in. No, I've. We formed a bond and, you know, that's it.

[Marcus Parks]

You know, I get it.

[Ed Larson]

I get it. And he's here. I'm sad that there won't be at home, but I got a keychain. But I got. I got you something. I got Rob something, something. Now, Rob, I got you this. This is a sticker that says protected by Robert. And because he shut off our equipment that one time. So I want to make sure that you have your. You know, that you're protected by Robert.

[Marcus Parks]

That's nice.

[Ed Larson]

And then I got you this. Marcus, Robert did it.

[Marcus Parks]

Oh, that's awesome.

[Ed Larson]

A magnet for your fridge, you know. And then also I got you this. I also went to the. The Ernest Hemingway house in museum, which is down there. And I got you a pen. Cause you're such a great writer.

[Marcus Parks]

Oh, thank you.

[Ed Larson]

And I figured that would be n. I speak lots of cats.

[Marcus Parks]

It's very sweet.

[Ed Larson]

Thank you. Yeah, they're everywhere. Hemingway's house was a lot of fun, too. It was interesting.

[Marcus Parks]

Oh, yeah, Hemingway.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, I know. It's so funny because Hemingway's got this big. He's like everywhere. But Tennessee Williams also lived down there. And he's just got like a little shack. No one gives a.

[Marcus Parks]

I love Tennessee Williams. Come on, give Tennessee some. Give them a little bit love.

[Ed Larson]

But yeah, Key west was amazing. Go. If you get a chance, go down to Comedy Key west, the great comedy club there run by Tom Dustin, who's got a new movie out. And he was fucking awesome and very, very, a lot of fun. Truly. Boston Joe List made a movie about this man. I had no idea. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So Joan forever. I know. I miss Joe so much, but Florida, I love you. Invasive species in the bag. So is my Florida hour. Now I have to write new jokes, which really is a bummer. But this week I got a very Special thing happening tomorrow. You just want to keep people updated as far as, like, updates go or a pup date. I'm getting Harley tomorrow.

[Marcus Parks]

Oh, the tumor dog.

[Ed Larson]

My tumor dog.

[Marcus Parks]

Is it okay for me to call him the tumor dog?

[Ed Larson]

Well, the tumor's gone.

[Marcus Parks]

Okay.

[Ed Larson]

So they removed it.

[Marcus Parks]

Former tumor dog.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, the. And the. The rescue. The rescue made this, like, they showed like, this graphic video of the tumor getting removed. Like, full surgery channel. Like crazy. Like, in the tumor is like. I'll show you the video. You're gonna love it.

[Marcus Parks]

Oh, yeah, no, I love the shit.

[Ed Larson]

The tumor is literally bigger than tootsie.

[Marcus Parks]

Wow.

[Ed Larson]

It's 19 and a half pounds it off of Harley.

[Marcus Parks]

Man, that. Yeah, that is about. That's only £6 off from being as heavy as Georgie.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. And so now, like, so this. So now Harley is like an ox now. She's fudgeing, killing it. We get her tomorrow, her staples come out, and then she comes over to the house, and I'm ready to accept this new dog into my life. She's. She's definitely a little bit of a hunchback. It might grow back. So just to let her know, our house is sanctuary and we're putting in a bell and everything's gonna be nice.

[Marcus Parks]

No, it's great. Our dog, Frankie. Frankie came in with some medical problems. She still had a cast on her leg and all that from the horrible things she went through before we got her. But it's great to have a dog that's had a little bit but a. You know, seen some. Had some stuff happen to him, you know, like, makes him. I think it makes him sweeter.

[Ed Larson]

No, Harley's lived outdoors her whole life. I can't wait to give her a bed inside at the foot of mine. It's going to be great. And she'll get to end her life in my house, which is now doggy host spice. So that is. They'll. They'll have a great. She'll have a great end of her life with me, and maybe, you know, Robert will bless her. But.

[Marcus Parks]

But speaking of which, I can't move on from this just yet. I have one more question.

[Ed Larson]

Oh, any. All you got.

[Marcus Parks]

Are you gonna eventually have your own pet cemetery? If you're gonna be the dog hospice? I mean, you're the one that's gonna. You know, you're the one that's got these dogs at the end.

[Ed Larson]

Am I gonna have to eat my words on Chad Vallow's pet cemetery? Cause the way things are going, in two years, I'm gonna have Three dead dogs back there. I mean, mean, I have Rambo's ashes. I haven't. I don't know if I'm gonna bury it or not.

[Marcus Parks]

Sure.

[Ed Larson]

You know, and so I don't know what's gonna. What if I'm gonna bury Rambo or not. But I do have his ashes. You know, I think maybe I should. I could mix them with, you know, something and you know, maybe he'll like that. Maybe I've maybe put it at a skate park so we can haunt the skate park or something because he hated skateboarders so much.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, that's true.

[Ed Larson]

But yeah, no, I. That is a good question. Yeah. I think we could do a little pet sanitary back there.

[Marcus Parks]

We can think about it.

[Ed Larson]

I got rid of room.

[Marcus Parks]

I'll co invest.

[Ed Larson]

Oh yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

I mean, I've always wanted to own a cemetery. It seems like there's a lot of like problems with that.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

A pet cemetery.

[Ed Larson]

Less we have to spell it wrong on purpose.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, we have to. Yeah, yeah.

[Ed Larson]

You're gonna have one. I. And someone did. Mr. Pastrami, my buddy did buy me a Rambo like grave rock. So I already got the stone. And then, you know, but when I move. Because I do rent, I don't own. So when I do move, I will move the stone and not the body. Body.

[Marcus Parks]

That is true.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. Which is fine. Which is fine. We'll let Rambo haunt that backyard. But if you want your own adopted dog, come to last puppy benefit on the left. It's going to be Friday, May 23, 7pm to 10pm over at the Masonic Temple in Hollywood Forever Cemetery. We are doing this with. With with Pups Without Borders. No Dogs in Space is going to perform. We got some other members of the last podcast now we're going to perform. Come hang out. The first hour, we're hanging with puppies.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

And then we're gonna fucking chill. We're gonna have some drinks, we're gonna get hang out with puppies. We're gonna have some drinks and then we're gonna tell a bunch of murder stories. Yeah. And like, what's a better time than that?

[Marcus Parks]

It's gonna be a fantastic day. And I. This is the. This Pups Without Borders. That's where we got our little Frankie. Yeah. Which is how we got hooked up with them. They're an incredible organization. They really care about what they do. And this is like a. This is a charity show. Yes, but it's gonna be a show and a hangout all at the same time. Time.

[Ed Larson]

Absolutely.

[Marcus Parks]

And there's going to be puppies there. So it's. And I've been to one of their. I've been to one of their events before and it was a great time. So, yeah, come on out. Come hang out with us. Come hang out with the puppies. Come get those, like silent awesome, like silent auction items that we got coming up that we're going to announce. But it's a cool shit. That's the last time I was there, I won a silent auction. They had a painting that looked like John Wayne Gacy and a bunch of dogs in the circus.

[Ed Larson]

Oh, yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

You know that one that's hanging in my, in my living room.

[Ed Larson]

Oh, that's so nice.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, yeah, I got. Got that at the silent auction.

[Ed Larson]

We're gonna, we're gonna have a silent auction here. You're gonna be able to win a, a dinner with Ron Perlman.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, yeah.

[Ed Larson]

Which is wild. And then we're gonna put it. We're gonna donate some stuff. We don't know we're donating yet, but we're gonna donate some stuff for the silent auction as well. And it's gonna be a blast. I really can't wait to do this. I love the Masonic Temple. Shout out to them over. We did a side stories there for the Netflix is the joke festival. And it was hot, dude. It was wild. So that's. It's a great place to see a show. Great place to hang out. You can go visit Toto's grave.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

You know, lots of dog stuff all at once.

[Marcus Parks]

You can also go visit Jane Mansfield's grave who died in a car accident with her four Chihuahuas.

[Ed Larson]

There you go.

[Marcus Parks]

The Chihuahuas are not buried with her.

[Ed Larson]

You know who else is buried there? Brand new Hot on Hot in the ground. David Lynch.

[Marcus Parks]

That's right.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. So we can go see his ass.

[Marcus Parks]

No, it's got. There's so many cool like Dee Dee Ramones buried there. Johnny Ramone's got a. He has a grave there, but not. He's not buried there.

[Ed Larson]

Really?

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, that's just a, a memorial.

[Ed Larson]

Oh, I didn't know that.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. No, no, his body's not there. De's there, though.

[Ed Larson]

Oh, well, my picture then.

[Marcus Parks]

Byline. Nur's there. The original Vampira.

[Ed Larson]

Nice.

[Marcus Parks]

She's there. Mel Blanc voice. Bugs Bunny.

[Ed Larson]

Judy Garland.

[Marcus Parks]

Judy Garland. Ema Sumac, one of my favorite singers of all time. No, you, you have. You never listen to.

[Ed Larson]

No, I haven't.

[Marcus Parks]

Oh, we got a night ahead of us.

[Ed Larson]

Nice.

[Marcus Parks]

Oh, we got a night ahead of us.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Right?

[Marcus Parks]

Im Zum. She's this incredible singer that has like an eight octave range. They build her. She's from the 50s. They build her as like a lost Mayan princess because all of her music is very like South American, but it's got, it's very exotica. Turns out Queens.

[Ed Larson]

Whoa. I mean, queens most, you know, was it the. What, how do they represent queens? It's the, the most culturally diverse neighborhood in the world.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. But she's definitely not a Mayan princess.

[Ed Larson]

What are you gonna do?

[Marcus Parks]

I mean, it's the 50s.

[Ed Larson]

It's good press.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, it's great press.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. I mean, I love that octave. Ra Getting, getting real into mini Ripperin lately.

[Marcus Parks]

Oh yeah.

[Ed Larson]

And so, yeah, feed me to it. Oh, also another dog kind of adjacent in Hollywood forever. Humphrey Bogart. Humphrey as in hump the legs, you know, but. And that's free.

[Marcus Parks]

You can pay for it.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. Well, this is side stories. We have to get the stories eventually. But it's been wonderful catching up with you.

[Marcus Parks]

Great catching up with you.

[Ed Larson]

I thought you had a great trip and I, I as well.

[Marcus Parks]

I'm very, I'm very happy. The Florida tour went off great.

[Ed Larson]

I can't wait to do more shows, but it's going to be a lot of fun. We got an update. Yeah, one update for, for all of you lizards. They found another victim of her. Baumeister.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, they, they have identified the 10th victim found on the farm. The 10th out of, I think they assume about 25.

[Ed Larson]

Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So they, they, I mean it takes forever with all those little fragments. Yeah. The man, Daniel Thomas Halloran of Indianapolis, was. Genealogy match. He's the second victim to be identified since Hamilton County Coroner Jeff Jellison reopened the investigation into the disappearance of dozens of men from the early to mid-1990s and the 10th known victim overall. But yeah, I mean, so, so it could be up to 25.

[Marcus Parks]

It could be. They think it's up to 25 people that he killed. Yeah, quite possibly. I mean you, you never really know. It's just how many bone fragments they found. And they can also kind of cross reference that with like the amount of like disappearances, you know, people that were reported missing around the. He's known to have murdered men.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

But yeah, it's. They think around 25.

[Ed Larson]

And it's not like you can just find DNA to someone who went missing in the 1990s. Right. To like cross examine. Right.

[Marcus Parks]

No, I think from my understanding of this case, if you have like an.

[Ed Larson]

Old hat or something, you might get Lucky.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, well, it's familial DNA at this point is mostly what they have. So the, the other problem with that is that you do have to have a family family to come forward and give DNA. Like a family. Like you know, someone who's been like, for example, like this guy, you know, was reported missing. He went missing in August of 1993.

[Ed Larson]

But he was, he was reported late. They don't even know what day he actually went missing because like he just didn't come home. And he had a two year old daughter and I guess the wife was just like, oh, you know, I guess he ran off. Yeah, you know, and so I'm sure that's probably happened a bunch of times.

[Marcus Parks]

Yes, it happens so often, you know, where it happens with kids, it happens with husbands, happens with wives. Especially in the 70s, 80s and 90s, like. Yeah, they just ran off because it's not like today where, you know, we're all kind of tracked and you know, we know where everyone is and it feels like that you owe it to everybody to let them know that you're actually alive. But back then, yeah, guy could just disappear and never be seen again. But now they've gone through and I think they did some familial samples and identified the guy as Daniel Thomas Halloran.

[Ed Larson]

Yes. And it said when Jellison learned of Halloran's mother had died of a drug overdose two years ago, he checked with Marion county coroner's office to see if they handled the case. They had and they had kept a DNA swab in their files. That swab confirmed Texas labs finding that Jellison subsequently found a living relative, a daughter who was two when her father went missing. So crazy.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

And to get that closure now like 30 something years later is nuts.

[Marcus Parks]

It is. And you know, it also does, it begs the, the question of like, would you rather know that your father had been murdered by a serial killer quite brutally or that he just ran off and he's kind of a fuck up?

[Ed Larson]

I think I'd rather know that. I think knowing that he was murdered is, is oddly more comforting.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, it's more comforting for you.

[Ed Larson]

Yes.

[Marcus Parks]

But for the dad?

[Ed Larson]

No, way worse. Way worse. Go bowling forever, you know, like.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, because that's the thing. He could have live like a, you know, a happy life and. No, no, it was a. Just a terrible end. Yeah. Cuz Herb Meister was not known for, for quick murders.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. This guy, I mean he looks very much like Theo Von.

[Marcus Parks]

He does.

[Ed Larson]

And I, I'm sure Herb loved him. Unfortunately, yeah, he.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, the guy that. He got a Kenny Powers look about him.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, for sure. He's got a mullet and a tiny mustache.

[Marcus Parks]

Is that a mullet or is he just standing in front of a Christmas tree?

[Ed Larson]

One or the other. Either way, he, he, he fits in. That's for sure.

[Marcus Parks]

He does. He does.

[Ed Larson]

Well, I'm glad, I'm glad that that was figured out and I hope they find some more. If you have a dad who went missing in the Indianapolis area in the 90s, maybe you should hit up Jellison, find out if maybe it happened.

[Marcus Parks]

Figure it out.

[Ed Larson]

They got lots of bones. They don't know what the they're doing with.

[Marcus Parks]

I mean they've only got. Yeah. 10 identified out of like about 25. But you know, I mean there are some of these, you know, there's still a few them of, of John Wayne Gacy's victims. We still don't know who they are. Yeah, a fair amount. Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

Crazy. Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

And definitely a few of Dean Corll's victims. We don't know. You know, out of his.27. Yeah, there's a. Yeah, there's most of the time, like when you find those mass graves, there's going to be quite a few guys.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

You just never, well, at least killed.

[Ed Larson]

Back then and Gacy traveled, you know, he could have dumped bodies. You know, it's not like he's going to bring someone back from California to bury him in, you know, Illinois.

[Marcus Parks]

No, no.

[Ed Larson]

You know, and so, so you never know know what happened with these guys? Terrifying.

[Marcus Parks]

No. 33 is just what we know about.

[Ed Larson]

Wow. Die from your grave.

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[Marcus Parks]

Worried about what ingredients are hiding in your groceries? Let us take the guesswork out. We're thrive market the online grocery store with the highest quality standards in the industry. We restrict 1000 plus ingredients so you can trust that you'll only find the best high quality organic and sustainable brands. All free of the junk. With savings up to 30% off and fast carbon neutral shipping you get top trusted groceries at your door and you can stop worrying about what your kids get their hands on. Start [e-mail] podcast for 30% off your first order and a free gift. But speaking of bodies, I got this. I love this story because I love a mummy story and I love an embalming story.

[Ed Larson]

Okay.

[Marcus Parks]

Because I find embalming and like funeral practices like absolutely fascinating. I almost like, that was my, I had like kind of a crossroads where it's either like go like stay in radio and broadcasting or go into embalming. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Going to funeral services. And you know, I, I chose this, which I think is the right choice.

[Ed Larson]

It was the correct choice. But you know, I like, you know, I, for me, it was butcher. I wish I would have learned to be a butcher, but you know, I wasn't. And now I can just be a hobby. So if any dies and wants to donate their body to Marcus, he'll fucking play with it.

[Marcus Parks]

You know, I'll fucking stick a tube in your ass.

[Ed Larson]

We'll mummify you fucking tushy.

[Marcus Parks]

I'll suck out all your bullshit and fucking put it in a bucket, throw it in my backyard.

[Ed Larson]

So what's the deal with this mummy?

[Marcus Parks]

The mystery of a mummy from an Austrian village has been solved, according to researchers who say it was embalmed in an unexpected way via the rectum.

[Ed Larson]

Ooh.

[Marcus Parks]

Never heard of rectal embalming before. They say this is the first known case of rectal embalming.

[Ed Larson]

Ok, I know that they like put like formaldehyde through you and stuff like that for. Well, what is the embalming process? I don't even really know.

[Marcus Parks]

Well, this is 1746, so this is long before like modern embalming. Modern embalming didn't come about until the Civil War, the American Civil War, because there were so many people that were dying way back, you know, so far away from home. The families wanted the bodies transported back so they could be buried wherever it was that they were from. And so the, the idea of modern embalming, which is taking out a lot of the guts out, like replacing the blood with like preserving fluids, like, you know, preservatives and all that. Like you kind of switching out the blood for one, you're switching out one thing for another.

[Ed Larson]

Do you take out like the kidneys and, or you leave them in there?

[Marcus Parks]

You know what? I actually can't remember. I can't remember if you take out like all, like all of the guts.

[Ed Larson]

Side stories. LPOTL gmail.com yeah, yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

I can't remember if you take out the guts.

[Ed Larson]

Okay.

[Marcus Parks]

No, mummies don't have guts. No, no, no mummies. No mummies. See, that's the difference.

[Ed Larson]

We're just talking about normal. Normal embalming.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, yeah. The difference between normal embalming and like, mummies are definitely, like, all the guts are gone.

[Ed Larson]

Okay.

[Marcus Parks]

And this guy. All of the guts were gone. But the thing is. But the reason why it was a mystery was because when they found this body, they. They think that the body is the preserved corpse of an aristocratic vicar named Franz Xaver Sidler von Rosenig.

[Ed Larson]

Cool.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. Or Rosenig. Yeah. Franz Xavier Siddler von Rosenig. Yeah. They were redoing his tomb. Like they had to do some reconstruction on it and found the body and feel like, ah, it. Let's see what's inside. Yeah. And so they did some CT scans of it and found that it was hollow inside. So like, oh, he's been. And also he'd obviously been mummified. You look at the bodies, like, oh, this body's definitely been mummified, but through the butt. That's the thing. They didn't see any kind of holes or like, entry points where they may have, you know, gotten. Where they may have like pulled out any of the organs or anything like that.

[Ed Larson]

So they sucked out his organs through his ass mess.

[Marcus Parks]

Well, I don't know about. I don't know about sucked out.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

I don't know.

[Ed Larson]

They didn't have vacuums back then.

[Marcus Parks]

They didn't? No, no, no. Because I actually, for a while when I first read the story, like, I saw mummy and rectum and mystery and air dry and the way all of the words were put together, I also saw. Via vacuum.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

Not via rectum, via vacuum.

[Ed Larson]

That's. That's what I would think.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. No, but you can actually even see in this picture here, you can see there's actually a little bit. Bit of a. There's a little tuft coming out of his butthole.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. There is a little something in there. Like that must have been a cork or something.

[Marcus Parks]

That had to have been because they would have had to have stretch it out pretty good in order to pull out all of the organs via the butthole. And not just pull out all of the organs via the butthole, but putting in wood chips, fragmented twigs, hemp and silk fabrics and taxidermied them.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

And zinc chloride.

[Ed Larson]

Crazy.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, they taxidermied them and they probably did the. I'm sure they brain and all that. They did the old Egyptian way of putting the hook in through the nose and pulling that out.

[Ed Larson]

Oh, so they took the brain out, too?

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, yeah.

[Ed Larson]

Nuts.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. Max, all that stinks, man.

[Ed Larson]

So why do you. What. How do you think they did it? Do you think they did, like, the whole, like, stuck a little thing in there and, like, swish it? Like, stuck a sword up there and, like, swished it around, chopped it up good, and then got that out? Or they think they just pulled the intestines like a rope.

[Marcus Parks]

They might have just put, like. Just got a hook. I would imagine it's all hooks.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

If they did the hooks the same way that they did the, you know, the brain, I would imagine it's. Yes, sticking a hook up in there. But they may have, I don't know, blended it and then. Yeah, like, it's not like siphoning gas. Rob, make like, one big. All right, now it's flowing. Just let it flow out. Just let it go.

[Ed Larson]

Turn him into a big joint. I got to say, Great teeth.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

For a 17th century man holding up to this day. Great teeth.

[Marcus Parks]

Incredible teeth. Well, he was a vicar. He lived a life of luxury, basically. In comparison to other 17th century three people, he definitely lived a cushy life. You know, like, they even found him. He was wearing his pointed shoes. Okay. He had his. His tobacco pipe and, you know, they just found that his body was in incredible shape overall. But, yeah, he did live a much better life than most people did back then.

[Ed Larson]

Rob, can you zoom in on the penis for me? I'm just curious.

[Marcus Parks]

The penis area left.

[Ed Larson]

Do you think it fell? Oh, no, it's. It's there.

[Marcus Parks]

Well, it is there.

[Ed Larson]

It is there.

[Marcus Parks]

Wow.

[Ed Larson]

Okay.

[Marcus Parks]

It looks sort of cocooned.

[Ed Larson]

I mean, of course it's deflated, you know. You know it all. Yeah, it got emptied, but, yeah, it's still there.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

All right.

[Marcus Parks]

Uncircumcised.

[Ed Larson]

Good to know. I should hope so.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. Oh, all right. Sticks it around.

[Marcus Parks]

Sticking a rug. Just put them up. Put them up in there.

[Ed Larson]

I got something oddly. I was going to have you go twice in a row, but I. This one of my stories kind of goes into what we've already been talking about. Pittsburgh funeral homeowner Elizabeth allegedly dumped pets in a landfill after charging for the cremation.

[Marcus Parks]

This is terrible.

[Ed Larson]

What a. I mean, like, come on. Like, just do your job. Yeah, it's got to be easier.

[Marcus Parks]

Why do you. Yeah, it's got to be easier than driving all the way out to the.

[Ed Larson]

Landfill and dumping a bunch of dogs out the fucking so this guy. All right, so this comes from. From whatchamacallit. From a W, T A E, which is a Pittsburgh affiliate. Action News. A Pittsburgh funeral home owner is accused of stealing hundreds of thousands of dollars from people who paid for pet burial and cremation services. According to Pennsylvania Attorney General, thousands of dogs and cats were improperly disposed of after the owners paid for the cremation, burials, and other services. This Guy collected over $650,000 between 2021 and 2024 from People. And then he just took the dogs and the cats and he threw them in the trash instead of giving people what they deserved, which is some comfort. So, you know, so it's. It's crazy that this man did this, but he finally got caught. You just can't throw dogs in the trash.

[Marcus Parks]

No, you can't. You can't throw dogs. You can't throw cats. You can't throw birds. You can't just throw an animal in the trash.

[Ed Larson]

More than 6,500 victims have already been identified. So this. I mean, don't go to the dump in Pittsbur.

[Marcus Parks]

I mean, we all know that Pittsburgh. Well, we all know that the dumps are lands of wonder and whimsy and joy, and you can find many wonderful things at the dump. Isaac, did you ever. Did your dad ever take you to the dump when you were a kid?

[Ed Larson]

I did. I went to the dump once. My dad. I don't know why the. My dad brought me to the dump. Yeah, I went to Mount Pompano, we call it. The only hill in all of Broward county is a giant dump. And I tell you what, those seagulls are the size of Buicks up there.

[Marcus Parks]

Okay, that's different. You got to deal with seagulls in Florida. So that's. You got wildlife at the dumps.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

Besides the rats.

[Ed Larson]

Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

My dad used to take me to the dump all the time when I was a kid. It was fucking fantastic.

[Ed Larson]

You go to shoot the rats?

[Marcus Parks]

No, we just went to look and. To dump. Yeah, we dump our stuff because, you know, we lived in. You know, I lived in rural Texas. We really have. We didn't get, like, a dumpster until I was in, like, high school. So you had to take your trash somewhere?

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

And there was no, of course, like, no local pickup. So, yeah, we had to take trips, regular trips to the dump to get rid of our trash. Like, one every couple weeks.

[Ed Larson]

Why the. Was I at the dump? Like, we were at the top, and, like, we weren't, like, dumping something. We Were like talking to somebody.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

And my dad was like. Had a deal with someone at the dump.

[Marcus Parks]

Dad had a guy at the dump.

[Ed Larson]

There was like something. I don't know what it was like he had like business at the dump and I had to go with him.

[Marcus Parks]

Fucking. You're going to try. You're going to go to sleep tonight and you're going to be thinking about this. Some awful fucking memory is going to unlock that you had forgotten about. And it's just like off.

[Ed Larson]

I do. But yeah. The core memory. Memory is just blown away by the size of the seagulls. Just like I remember just be like, those are big. And my dad was laughing his ass off.

[Marcus Parks]

And like.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. No, I mean, I don't think my dad was. I mean my dad was involved with like some minor thievery, but nothing crazy illegal. It's not like he was like a murderer or anything like that.

[Marcus Parks]

No.

[Ed Larson]

So it's a. I wonder why the. I was at that dump. To the bottom of this. But.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

This case was disturbing and will cause devastation and heartache to many. Pennsylvania's Attorney General Dave Sunday said, our pets are members of our families. And this defendant betrayed and agonized pet owners who entrusted him to provide dignified services for their beloved cats and dogs. I know as someone who just got their dog's ashes. Yeah. I don't know how much I would.

[Marcus Parks]

Care if it was not his actual ashes.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

I def. Not lawsuit care.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. Not definitely not lawsuit. I'd be pissed. I'd want to like punch the guy.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. Angry phone call care.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

I don't know. Like, I understand but like, why do we even get it? Why do we get him back? I guess it's just we romanticize it a lot.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. Yeah. I, you know, when. When my dogs die, I think. You know what? I don't know if I'd want my ash. The ashes of the dog.

[Ed Larson]

Now that I. In the moment, you're like. Yeah. Given to me, you know. But like now I'm like, what the fuck am I doing with these things?

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. I'd actually. I think. Yeah. I. It never even. Honestly, it never even occurred to me that I would get the dog's ashes back.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

Like, it's just you. I thought you just call the guy.

[Ed Larson]

That's what they should do.

[Marcus Parks]

Cuz I haven't had a. I haven't had a pet die since I lived in Texas. And you just bury him.

[Ed Larson]

Yes.

[Marcus Parks]

You know.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

When I was in high school.

[Ed Larson]

Different times.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. You just bury the dog. Out back. But now we live in a city and I can't just bury the dog. No, no, you can't just bury the dog. Cuz one time I'd buried a dog and I didn't bury it deep enough.

[Ed Larson]

Yes.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

And the animals come.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, the. The thing is, the animals didn't come, but I buried him right outside my window. I didn't bury him deep enough. And so over. And it was the middle of summer, Texas summer. So it's like a hundred degrees outside. And so just the smell started getting, like, worse and worse and worse and worse.

[Ed Larson]

Sometimes they come back.

[Marcus Parks]

Yes. Well, I had to go dig up the dog. Me and my friend Gary. Like, yeah, my friend Gary Strickland, man.

[Ed Larson]

Shout out to Gary.

[Marcus Parks]

Gary was a fucking good friend.

[Ed Larson]

Good friend Gary was. That's good.

[Marcus Parks]

Gary was a fucking solid, solid friend. Gary helped me out that day. I was like, dude, I got to dig up my dog. Come help me. He's like, all right, fine. Yeah, these. Yeah, Gary's ride or die.

[Ed Larson]

Wow.

[Marcus Parks]

But yeah, yeah, we had to dig up the dog and instead of digging a new grave for him because I couldn't, like, it was just. We just kind of put him out in a pasture further out, a little further.

[Ed Larson]

Baumeister.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, we bow. Actually. We did. Baumeister.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, we did. We did. We totally baumeistered him. Like, it was a nice. It was a really nice feat. It wasn't like a field. Like, it wasn't a. Like a farm field, like where they're going to, you know, be plowing it up or anything like that. Like it was a. A field. I mean, yes, he definitely let. We call it a sky burial where.

[Ed Larson]

You know, they're threw him out of a plane and go for the best.

[Marcus Parks]

Well, sky burials are where, you know, people get eaten by birds.

[Ed Larson]

You know, like, okay, okay.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, yeah, they get. Yeah, they get eaten by vultures.

[Ed Larson]

That's the best way to do it.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, you go back to nature.

[Ed Larson]

I wish that's how they did with us. Yeah, I feel better about that than just burying or burning me. At least I'm giving back.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. Because the vultures, they take the bones, everything.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, of course they do.

[Marcus Parks]

So, yeah, it was probably vultures and coyotes that finished him off.

[Ed Larson]

What is this picture, Rob? That's.

[Henry Zebrowski]

It's a skybird.

[Marcus Parks]

It's a sky. Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

That's a human. Yeah, we don't.

[Marcus Parks]

That is a human.

[Ed Larson]

That's a human. We know that it's blurred, but that's a human.

[Marcus Parks]

That's definitely a human.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. That's not a dog. That's worse.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, I can see fingers. But yeah, it's a. It's a Tibetan thing. It's really big in Tibet. Sky burials.

[Ed Larson]

Tibetan is. Yeah, the. Oh, man. What else is going on in the news?

[Marcus Parks]

The other thing that I got is this incredible story out of Australia. This is a. I mean, this is one of those stories that, you know, I love the show Fatal Vows. And this is like the most fatal vows story there is.

[Ed Larson]

Yes.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. I mean, marriage is bliss, but divorce is murder. An Air Force pilot in the RAAF is accused of murdering his wife and staging her death to make it look like a ride on mower accident. Whoa.

[Ed Larson]

Yes. Oh, my God.

[Marcus Parks]

Yes. Yes. He has secured a major court win after a drudge ruled he could be released on bail to take care of his ailing mother. He would be prohibited. And this is the amazing thing about it. He is a pilot. So as a part, one of the conditions of his bail is that he is prohibited from coming within 500 meters of an international airport terminal.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. Cuz he could just fly away.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. And he can't enter any airfield.

[Ed Larson]

Good.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

Wow. How annoying is his mother that they're releasing him to take care of her?

[Marcus Parks]

Nobody. Can't get anyone to. God. Let him go. Let him go. Get him out of here. I didn't get. Get him out of here.

[Ed Larson]

So he fucking. So he killed his wife and then he ran her over with a lawnmower.

[Marcus Parks]

Robert John Crawford is charged with the murder of his wife, Francis Crawford in southeast Queensland on July 30, 2024. Emergency services found the body of Ms. Crawford, 49, at the base of the property's retaining wall around 3:40am near a riding mower. Apparently in Australia they called a ride on mower. Police allege Mr. Crawford, an RAAF pilot, flew into a murderous rage and fatally str his wife before attempting to disguise the crime by placing her body under the mower to make it look like she died in a freak accident.

[Ed Larson]

Oh, my God. I mean, it's a ride on mower.

[Marcus Parks]

A ride on. Yeah, the rider. Yeah, it's a ride mower.

[Ed Larson]

So it would be his fault anyway.

[Marcus Parks]

Well, unless, I don't know, riding overs you could get. You could kill yourself.

[Ed Larson]

Do they go on their own?

[Marcus Parks]

They can go on their own, but on the other hand, no, because they do have. You know, when you stand up, you.

[Ed Larson]

Gotta hit the lever. Right.

[Marcus Parks]

Well, when you stand up from a riding mower like the. It automatically turns off.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. So either way, he kills.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, you can't.

[Ed Larson]

I mean, obviously it's flawed. He went to prison.

[Marcus Parks]

Well, he's. His trial is coming up. Oh, like. Like he's. He hasn't even gone to trial yet. This is just that. This is his bail hearing. Oh, okay.

[Ed Larson]

So it could be an accident then. And we have to say that.

[Marcus Parks]

Well, remember. Yeah, allegedly. Well, he's also charged with misconduct with a corpse with police alleging in Court documents that Mr. Crawford moved his wife's body without lawful jurisdiction or excuse. Mr. Cook told the court that Mr. Crawford. Mr. Cook would be. I think the DA allegedly sent messages to himself on his wife's phone after the alleged murder to make it seem like she had gone outside to move the mower before the quote, unquote, accident.

[Ed Larson]

Yes.

[Marcus Parks]

The exchange detailed to the court included Mr. Crawford reportedly texting, quote, are you going to put the mower away soon? Ms. Crawford allegedly replies, just give me a sec. And so he's trying to set up the idea that she's going.

[Ed Larson]

Even made her a. In that one of those.

[Marcus Parks]

Just give me a sec. Right. Give me a sec.

[Ed Larson]

All right, I'm under the mower. She's right. Ow, ow, ow, ow.

[Marcus Parks]

Oh, my God. I did not know how much it would hurt to be ran over by a ride on mower. And, oh, my God, I am dead now. Well, the coroner went in and said, like, okay, this woman was definitely strangled to death, right? Like, she was like. They said that she might have died from being run over by the mower, but it was the, you know, manual strangulation tell after running over her with a mower. That's the thing. We don't know how bad the damage actually was because, I mean, it's not dead alive. Yeah, he's not, you know, she's not kicking ass for the Lord. And like, like, it's. And it's not, you know, the sort of like, push mower where you get these big blades. She was probably, like, mutilated, but I don't know, like, did he run over her head? Did he run over her legs? Where did he run over the body?

[Ed Larson]

Not well enough.

[Marcus Parks]

Definitely not well enough.

[Ed Larson]

You always run over the part that you destroyed. Yeah, that's, you know, for, you know.

[Marcus Parks]

But that's the thing. You only get one shot. You can't run her over multiple times because then they're going to know. So if you run it over, if you run her over one time, that's the only shot you got.

[Ed Larson]

Wow.

[Marcus Parks]

Wow.

[Ed Larson]

God. What a crazy way to kill somebody. Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

Well, I mean, really, it's just a mutilation.

[Ed Larson]

Yes, you're right. He did kill her normal.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, he did. Yeah, he did kill her normal. But, yeah, it is a, it's a hell of an alibi. Especially at three in the morning.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, no one mows their lawn at 3 in the morning.

[Marcus Parks]

Well, the idea was that she was putting it away. She was putting it away. Yeah. And there were also several inconsistencies. Unwashed dishes, her rings were left on the kitchen counter indicated she was still in the middle of her nightly routine. And the D. A. Argued it made little sense for her to have gone outside near midnight to move a lawnmower. But. And apparently this guy was a dick. Anyway, Crawford's children expect to be witnesses in the case that they had a bad relationship with their father. One witness reportedly described Proford in his statement as controlling and intimidating.

[Ed Larson]

And so now he's going to become a caretaker.

[Marcus Parks]

I mean, only one in handler.

[Ed Larson]

Jesus Christ.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

Well, I hope his mom, you know, is happy that he's there.

[Marcus Parks]

He's got a very Australian face.

[Ed Larson]

He really does.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, yeah. It's that Australian fate. Like why do Australians have such big heads and such tiny ears?

[Ed Larson]

It's true. Think about it.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, It's a very Australian thing.

[Ed Larson]

I mean, he is classically attractive.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, he is.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. No, for sure. He's definitely cla. He's definitely like a good looking man. But yeah, no, that's true.

[Marcus Parks]

Side stories. Lpotlmail.com if you can answer, why Australian, specifically Australian men have big heads and tiny ears.

[Ed Larson]

I guess there's just less to hear out there.

[Marcus Parks]

Yes, there is.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. Well, we're, we're coming close on some time, but I, I wanted to rapid fire go through some animal stories. There's some interesting stuff happening around. First one is in Ohio, which is this one. It's just too much fun to not bring up and, you know, define fun. But the. So a police officer in Ohio was shocked to find a raccoon holding a meth pipe after following its owner's arrest. This guy, he pulled over this woman and she had a raccoon who was legally her raccoon. She had the paperwork for the raccoon, but she did not have. Have paperwork for all the meth that she had. And then when the cop took her out of the car, the raccoon got a little frisky and grabbed the meth pipe. And we got some footage of it. Let's see it. Oh, hey.

[Marcus Parks]

Come here.

[Ed Larson]

Hello.

[Marcus Parks]

The raccoon has her meth pipe has what?

[Ed Larson]

Oh, my God.

[Marcus Parks]

Her meth pipe. He's playing with the meth pipe right now.

[Ed Larson]

No, don't reach for it.

[Marcus Parks]

That's evidence now.

[Ed Larson]

I wouldn't want him to have it. Well, that's why I'm gonna do it. Hey, buddy. He does seem like a nice raccoon.

[Marcus Parks]

Okay, you're on, Arlene. He'll be here in two minutes. I'm right across from my house.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, this is what she's smoking. Nothing.

[Marcus Parks]

Okay.

[Ed Larson]

The raccoons playing with her bath pipe. All right, he's got another one now. Yeah, yeah, he's got two. Oh, there's no.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

And the raccoon found another one and immediately put it to its mouth. All right, all right.

[Marcus Parks]

Enough fun and games.

[Ed Larson]

I guess it's safe to assume that this raccoon has done meth before, but it seems pretty calm.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, I think it was eaten meth.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You don't know if, like, it's smoked, but. Well, he's probably just. They might have blown smoke in its face.

[Ed Larson]

Yes. I mean, who knows what happened? I'm sorry. That this woman got addicted to drugs. Drugs. And was so loosey goosey with them that her raccoon was playing with her meth pipe during a traffic stop. But, you know, not just loosey goosey.

[Marcus Parks]

But that she smokes enough meth to drive around with multiple meth pipes. Yeah, that one. And one was very used, and one was just, you know, brand new.

[Ed Larson]

As someone who used to drive and smoke weed, I only had one pipe with me.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

So. And that's, you know, maybe that's the difference between weed and meth, but the.

[Marcus Parks]

Meth, you don't want to get. Get, like, caught flat footed.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

Always be ready. Oh, and the raccoon's name was Chewy.

[Ed Larson]

Oh, Chewy. Well, I hope they don't euthanize you, Chewy. While our officers are trained to expect the unexpected, finding a raccoon holding a meth pipe is a first. No raccoons were hurt or injured in the incident. Thank God. Always we remain committed to keeping our community safe, no matter what surprises come our way. So thank you to the Cuyahoga Falls Police. Police Department. I guess that's outside of Cleveland. That checks out. Yeah. And.

[Marcus Parks]

Oh, wow.

[Ed Larson]

And, you know, I, you know, shout out to Travis Irvine.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

Our own Ohio raccoon networks here, and he doesn't do meth. And so that's good.

[Marcus Parks]

Does not. And as far as I know, never has.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, never has.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

And.

[Marcus Parks]

And speaking of Cleveland. We'll see you on November 29th. We're gonna be at the Masonic Temple. Can't wait to come play a show for you. The full Last Podcast on the Left Show. Cleveland, Ohio Masonic Temple Saturday, November 29 Go to last podcast on the left.com for tickets to that show and many more.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, that's the Saturday directly after Thanksgiving. So that's going to be a lot of fun. I'm actually going to be going to visit my family in Cincinnati and then drive on over, go to Rock and Roll hall of Fame and then do a show for you. Wild cheeseburger loving. So while I was in Florida, real quick, I just want to say like there was crazy ambassador animal deaths. The first black bear kill in Florida happened in Naples when I was in Naples.

[Marcus Parks]

This is nuts.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. No, a black bear killed a man and his dog. It is. There has been multiple bear attacks in Florida before, but this is the first bear officially killing somebody in Florida and eating them and eating and a black bear. It's usually not a black bear. Bears are supposedly the most chill of the bears.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. Don't you just have to shout at a black bear and he's.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. You ring a bell? Yeah, I was walking my friend's dog and I was like, there's a bell. What's the bell for? And like, oh, when you see a bear, you, you ring the bell. I was like, well, you walk your dog and. Yeah, but the black. It was weighing close to 300 pounds. That's not even on that, you know. And so it's not even that big of a bear. But it did fucking kill this old man. 89 year old man. That's the main. That's. I think that's the he I would have been eating. He was probably, you know, he was old. What a way to go out at 89, by the way.

[Marcus Parks]

I think about that all the time. When an old person dies a really grisly or gruesome or bizarre death, I do think about that. It's like you make it that and you're like, once you pass like 82, you're like, okay, I'm definitely dying of old age. Like I'm definitely dying like of a disease. Like I'm dying in a bed. Like I've made it. I'm dying in a bed. Yeah, like, nope. 89 bear attack, eaten by a bear.

[Ed Larson]

You're retired in the same town as Larry Bird and Bob Seeger, Jugg Judy and you fucking get attacked by a bear and that's how you go Out. Fucking crazy. Also, there was alligator kill in Florida. Oh. Before I move on, I just wanted to tip you off to this and our listeners at home. This has not been updated to one of my favorite Wikipedia pages. So hopefully this gets updated soon. Anyone who out there who updates Wikipedia, do this for me. But there is a list of fatal bear attacks in North America Wikipedia page. And it goes all the way back to the 1780s. It's a delight. Each story is better than the last. I'm just gonna pick a random one. We'll say this one was September 20, 2005. Arthur Louie, a six year old male in Canada near Brown River, British Columbia. A female and two cubs attacked Louie on a remote forestry road. He was walking back from his gold mining camp after his car broke down. There's lots of stories like this and they all got little, they all got little ones and it's always so interesting. They're moving mostly in Canada. Yeah, Canada is where people get killed by bears the most. Or Alaska, but here I'll just pick another one. These are, you know, these are wild. These are good. I believe the, the revenant guy is in here somewhere too, if you dive deep enough. But yeah, so we got October 22, 1956. Kenneth Scott, 29, male, US near Augusta, Montana. While elk hunting, a hunter in Scott's group was attacked and the bear was shot and wounded. When they went back to kill the bear, Scott's gun, James jammed and the bear mauled him. So they should have left him alone. Yeah, you got away. You went back and the bear killed you. The bear was later killed by another hunter. But yeah, each one of these stories are nuts.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. Oh, I was looking back to prohibition times because I was gonna see if a moonshiner got eaten by bear.

[Ed Larson]

You never know.

[Marcus Parks]

Dr. Joseph Germaine, Olga Gregor, Chuck, Jack Thayer. Now mostly for Forest Service employees. Actually, it's a lot of Forest Service employees.

[Ed Larson]

Oh yeah, for sure. Check this one out. 1855, John Gris, Leslie Adams. The man's name, 48 years old, Sierra Nevada, California. Professional trapper and trainer of wild animals. He was badly injured while injured dislodging his scalp and leaving a silver dollar hole in his head. He died in 1860 from complications of his scalp wound. I mean, H story. They're quick little three sentence bangers.

[Marcus Parks]

Listen to this two sentence banger. Frank Welch, 61. September 8, 1916. Welch was killed at a camp near Sylvan Pass at Yellowstone National Park. While carrying a load of hay and oats. Men from the camp killed the Bear with a dynamite trap.

[Ed Larson]

Damn. Damn.

[Marcus Parks]

Blew up the bear.

[Ed Larson]

All right. Eight. One more. 1850, Fielding Isaacs, no age Fielding, was found with his skull crushed in a 1300 pound grizzly's mouth with his knife broken in the grizzly's neck and both deceased. Col. William Smith, aka Rebel Bill, wrote an autobiography to detail the incident in his autobiography. So it could be fake. Wow. But yeah, it's just each story is more amazing than the next.

[Marcus Parks]

John Deked, November 20, 1906. Thinking the Bear was dead, deaked began skinning it. The bear immediately awoke and tore off one of Deke's arms. And then it killed him. Whoa. Oh. October 5th, 1908.

[Ed Larson]

That's my birthday.

[Marcus Parks]

Oh, wow. After a bear escaped from a cage at Elysian Grove Pleasure park in Tucson, Arizona, a woman named Bus Laird ran with her infant child in a go kart. The bear grabbed and killed the baby.

[Ed Larson]

No, not the baby. April 16, 1956. We got a twofer. Lloyd Pennington and Everett Kendall, USA the Copper River Census Area of Alaska. Two men were hunting a spotted bear den near Snowshoe Lake and attempted to lure the bear out, assuming it was weak and hungry. When it came out and killed them both, a rescue team shot and killed the bear and it was returned when it refused to back away. No, sorry they killed the bear.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, sorry they killed the bear.

[Ed Larson]

Yes.

[Marcus Parks]

You're always sad about that, you guys.

[Ed Larson]

You know, you go to a bear's house and you pick a fight. I don't know what you think's gonna happen.

[Marcus Parks]

My wife always says what Caroline always says when I'm playing video games and I'm going somewhere and I'm fighting somebody, I'm killing a bunch of people. And she has. Did you go into his house?

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

Did you. Did you go to where he lives and is he now defending his home? Like. Well, maybe. But he would have killed me anyway, as the bandits do. They don't just wait. I go to the bandit's house and I shove a fucking sword into his throat and I set him on fire. And then I go looking for the other Oblivion Gates.

[Ed Larson]

Oh, man. All right. And finally, a Florida one was killed by an alligator during canoeing trip. She was in Tiger Creek near Lake Kissimmee in Polk county last Tuesday. She was 61 years old. She was on the canoe with her husband and they. There was an alligator. It was shallow water, and they hit the gator, which was 11ft long, and it tipped over the canoe and the gator killed her. And the husband, unfortunately, was not Able to save her even though he tried. That shit fucking happens. But we did lose a famous alligator.

[Marcus Parks]

Big gator.

[Ed Larson]

Who I really want to. I think we should. We should shout out to Morris. The 640 pound alligator. Believed to have been more than 80 years old. And the source of an impressive list of movie and TV credits. Most famously, he was the alligator from Happy Gilmore.

[Marcus Parks]

He was the alligator that took Chubb's hand.

[Ed Larson]

Yes. I can't believe he lived. Lived longer than Carl Weathers.

[Marcus Parks]

Isn't that the like. Yeah. Kills him in the movie or not kills him. You know, I've had technically Happy kills by scaring him with the head of the gator.

[Ed Larson]

But.

[Marcus Parks]

But he, you know, kills him.

[Ed Larson]

Took his eye.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. Kills him in the movie and then, then, then he outlives him.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. He. He was Also in Alligator 1 and Alligator 2. Interview with the vampire doctor do little eraser. Great alligator seat in eraser.

[Marcus Parks]

That is a fantastic alligator scene.

[Ed Larson]

Great alligator scene. Blues Brothers 2000. Don't remember the alligator in Blues Brothers 2000.

[Marcus Parks]

I don't remember Blues Brothers 2000, but I mean, I know it exists. But yes, the plot escapes me.

[Ed Larson]

As it should. So. Morris, shout out to you. This episode is dedicated to you and Henry's father. May you be reunited and held together.

[Marcus Parks]

The Morris does who gets stopped billing.

[Ed Larson]

I mean, unfortunately, Henry's dad. Dad was almost in daylight.

[Marcus Parks]

That is true.

[Ed Larson]

He was almost. The Sylvester Stallone tunnel rescue film. He was almost in that. They filmed the scene, but they ended up cutting it. So I. Top billing goes to Mars.

[Marcus Parks]

All right. All right.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. But Henry's dad also shout out to you. We love you so much, Henry Senior.

[Marcus Parks]

Big shout out.

[Ed Larson]

But yeah, you're second place to Morris, unfortunately.

[Marcus Parks]

I mean, come on. Morris was on coach.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

So.

[Ed Larson]

I mean, Coach is a great show. Night Court, Leno, you know, he. He done a lot. He's done lots of good work. And we could all Hope for a 20 year retirement.

[Marcus Parks]

We really could, you know.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

In Florida.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. So.

[Marcus Parks]

Or no, this is Colorado.

[Ed Larson]

He was in Colorado. I'd rather.

[Marcus Parks]

I would rather retire in Colorado than Florida.

[Ed Larson]

N. Yeah. Oh. I mean, it's not. I mean, it's. It's a better place as far as like, you know, humanity goes. But as far as like fun and having a great time. I mean, nothing's better than Florida. I just realized that I miss my home so much and I had a great time there. No matter how hard horrible it may be, you're my horrible. And I'll be with you forever.

[Marcus Parks]

Florida and one last quote from the story covering the gator that died in Colorado. He died in a gator reserve that, you know, these guys put together to because they had a fish farm and didn't know what to do with all their, like, leftover fish heads. So they started rescuing gators and they had. And they built a little park around it. And they said in an update on Monday, they announced, we have decided to get Morris taxidermied so that he can continue to scare children for years to come. It's what he would have wanted.

[Ed Larson]

Yes, absolutely.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

Taxidermy. Everybody's a very taxidermy. Heavy episode. Lots of animals. We love you guys. Oh, we have one listener mail. I'll get to it real fast. I'll read it real fast. But this is. It was very nice. Scared Stupid. Listening to the last side Stories episode about Alien movies, Henry mentioned in inadvertent scary movies that left lasting impression from our childhood. Mine unabashedly, is Earnest Scared Stupid. Yeah, hear me. It scared the fudge out of me too.

[Marcus Parks]

By the way, I loved Earnest Scared Stupid.

[Ed Larson]

It's the best one is so easily.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, I loved it so much because I loved Earnest and I loved horror movies. Yeah, it was the first movie that I ever watched and then immediately rewound and watched the second time.

[Ed Larson]

Those trolls were fudgeing nasty too. Yeah, they were very scary.

[Marcus Parks]

All the snot. And Ernest was very funny.

[Ed Larson]

Oh, yeah, hear me out. While visiting some cousins in South Jersey, I was invited to watch this movie. As the only kid in the house and undoubtedly getting on everyone's nerves, I was set down in front of an old TV to watch this movie. Short of recapping the whole plot, I was scared stupid. To put it plainly, this movie was that made me afraid of the dark. To my knowledge, I previously was not. After watching trolls hatch out of tree eggs and dissolve after being squirted with super soakers filled with milk, my authentic romance Romanian meak. My ride through the pine barons back home was terrifying. The pine barons are a scary place. Lots of bodies there.

[Marcus Parks]

Oh, yeah. Devil.

[Ed Larson]

Oh, yeah. This movie was the reason I don't hang my leg out of my bed, out of the sheets anymore. The whole. They can't get you if you're fully covered. I've, I, I mean, yeah, yeah, absolutely.

[Marcus Parks]

Oh, yeah.

[Ed Larson]

I've let. I've let go of most of the fear, but God damn, I was horrified. This movie did scare the out of me.

[Marcus Parks]

Me too. But it scared me in the best way possible. And all the kids getting you know, I think. Didn't they get their souls encased in trees? Yes. Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

No, it was wild.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, it was a good. Yeah. So this one's number one. Ernest Camp's got to be second.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

And then I guess Ernest goes to jail is pretty awesome. That fight scene at the end.

[Marcus Parks]

Jail. Well, the. The court scene with the pen in his mouth is one of the funniest scenes in movie history.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. But just keeps getting more and more ink all over the place. And he's earnest. He's on trial for murder.

[Ed Larson]

Godamn.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

D Do I like him more than Hemingway?

[Marcus Parks]

How does the Sun Also Rise stack up to Saves Christmas? Did Ernest Hemingway ever save Christmas? No, he never went to Africa. Did he join the army?

[Ed Larson]

I think Ernest Hemingway went to Africa.

[Marcus Parks]

Possibly.

[Ed Larson]

I think he possibly went to Africa.

[Marcus Parks]

Did he go.

[Ed Larson]

He seems like he was a war reporter.

[Marcus Parks]

He seems like a safari guy.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, I think he. I think there's a good chance Hemingway went to Africa. But. But regardless, you know, he definitely went to Paris, which I know was nothing like Africa. Oh, yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

Big. I was right. Safari guy.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. Like it. He loved adventures.

[Marcus Parks]

Multiple. Yeah. Snows at Kilimanjaro. Greenhouse of Africa. Yeah, Kilimanjaro. That's the. That's the big one. I don't know. I'm not a big. I'm honestly like Hemingway. I prefer Tennessee Williams.

[Ed Larson]

Okay.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

Interesting. Well, give me the pen back.

[Marcus Parks]

No. Absolutely not. Absolutely not.

[Ed Larson]

Last puppy benefit on the left. May 23, 7pm Masonic Lodge at the Hollywood Forever Cemetery. Last podcast and I left no dogs in space. Special appearances from other members of the LPN family. But you don't give a about that cuz you get to play with puppies. So come on out and let's support these dogs and the people who basically what happened after the fires. A lot of people when they moved, they weren't able to take their dogs with them because they had to move very fast and into places that didn't take dogs. And so there's a lot of extra dogs that need places to go in Los Angeles right now. So we're doing this benefit to help out. I hope you will come and support as well. Contact in the desert is going to be from May 29 to June 2. We will be there doing multiple shows at the Renaissance Resort at the Coachella Valley. Last podcast on the left, we're touring the most. The two coming up soonest are going to be on June 28th. We're going to be in Atlanta at the Coca Cola Roxy. There's still some tickets for that. And in July 12, we're going to be in Salt Lake City at the Sandy Amphitheater. That's going to be my first outdoor show with y' all.

[Marcus Parks]

Outdoor fun. Shows are fun.

[Ed Larson]

I'm very excited. So y' all come out. I love you very much. Shout out to Big Henry. And we. I hope Henry is doing a little better. He is. I. It is. It's weird because it is nice. As someone who's, like, emotionally guarded as Henry is. It is Watching him confront his emotions, I think is like, this is. Is very interesting. And I applaud him.

[Marcus Parks]

Yes. As. As do I. And. And listener. Be sure to savor that because you won't see it.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

The most you're gonna get is secondhand.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. Well, I love you guys very much and be good. And we'll talk to you in a.

[Marcus Parks]

Couple days later on y' all.

[Ed Larson]

That's right. I got a couple hails today. I got a. We got a hail of Big Henry, Hal Morris, and of course.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

Hail Robert the Doll.

[Marcus Parks]

Hail Robert the Doll. Thank you, Robert.

[Ed Larson]

We love you, Robert. Thank you for protecting us. Thank you, Robert.

[Marcus Parks]

Thank you. You're great.

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