Last Podcast On The Left – Side Stories: Resurrect-Ed (Aug 20, 2025)

Podcast: Last Podcast On The Left
Hosts: Henry Zebrowski & Ed Larson
Episode Theme: An irreverent dive into strange news, bodily functions, crime, cryptids, and senior scandal, with plenty of personal banter and listener letters.
Tone: Comedic, dark, and gleefully inappropriate.

Overview

In this raucous Side Stories episode, Henry and Ed celebrate Ed's "miraculous" return from the dead (after Henry’s running joke that Ed was deceased), and launch straight into a wild mix of news stories: from cryptids and UK prison oddballs, to explosive bodily functions on United Airlines and culinary guinea pig escapades in Australian prisons. The guys plunge gleefully into frank sexual discussion, odd asexual confessions, love triangles among the elderly, and the ethics of Build-A-Bear urns. The show is packed with off-color banter and unexpected listener stories, making for a typically unpredictable, hilarious, and occasionally disgusting ride.

Episode Breakdown & Highlights

1. Ed "Returns" From the Dead (00:46–03:40)

• Henry opens with jokes about “resurrection,” riffing on Ed’s absence due to the running death gag.
• Both discuss the weirdness and sweetness of people DMing Ed “RIP.”
• Notable moment:
  Henry (01:31): “The piggy lives. The piggy lives.”
  Ed: “That was your biggest joke of the year, pretending I’m dead. Thanks a lot.”

2. Updates: “Silent Man” & The Minilights Cryptid (04:00–07:13)

• Follow-up on UK’s “Silent Fattest Man,” David Hampson – listeners suggest he fakes silence for jail food.
• Riffing on prison food in the UK.
• The Minilights legend in St. Petersburg, FL: supposed mysterious white lights, probably just alligators.
• Banter about gator erotica, including a forced Google search for alligator genitals.
• Notable quotes:
  • Henry (06:53): “It was trying to get children away from the alligators.”
  • Ed (07:19): “When was the last time you’ve seen an alligator’s erect penis?” (leads to mock outrage and disgust)

3. Masturbation, Porn, and Asexual Fantasies (08:41–14:52)

• Henry shares a revelation from Grant Gordon: he no longer watches porn, just “goes by sensation.”
• Ed jokes about “love” as a porn search, leading to a discussion of asexuality.
• A listener’s email details her journey as an asexual—only able to orgasm by fantasizing about non-sexual things: “turning into a bird, a glowing orb, or becoming a man who gets fatter and fatter.”
  • Henry (12:01): “Now I can come from all sorts of fantasies... my go-to is turning into a man and getting fatter and fatter until I climax.”
  • Both hosts marvel at the creative “advanced level” masturbation.
• Banter on sexual orientation percentages: as rare as redheads or serial killer tendencies.

4. Older Women, Cougars, and Madonna (14:52–16:49)

• The hosts celebrate older women “reclaiming” younger partners (Madonna, Susan Sarandon).
• Amused approval for cougars and “taking back” youthful romance.
  • Ed (15:23): “Susan Sarandon came in looking… and she had like a 20 year old on her arm and he was gorgeous!”
  • Advice: Let older women find out young men have nothing to talk about, the same way men do with younger women.

5. [Headline Story] United Airlines “Biohazard Diarrhea” Incident (17:48–24:16)

• Covered with vivid delight: United flight canceled after a woman has massive diarrhea, rendering the plane “uninhabitable.”
• Both hosts find humor in the universality (and horror) of digestive disasters.
  • Henry (19:10): “I have flight-ending diarrhea.”
  • Ed (21:28): “Why is she taking heat when their toilet can’t handle one woman’s amount of shit?”
• Listeners are invited to share their biggest-shit stories (“skinny under 140” category).
• Ed shares his tale of 16 bathroom trips on a 15-hour flight.
• Conversation dissolves into Cincinnati’s chili culture and further bathroom humor.

6. Prisoners Steal and Feast on Shelter Guinea Pigs (24:45–32:21)

• Australian prisoners working offsite caught stealing, butchering, and cooking guinea pigs from an animal shelter.
• Hosts debate the ethics and culinary value of guinea pigs versus traditional pork.
• Cultural commentary: guinea pig is a legit food in South America; why not elsewhere?
• Side discussion on eating hamsters, “bald” hamsters, and why Ed prefers not to eat pets.
  • Henry (28:35): “Guinea pigs are literally toupees.”
• Deadpan: Would you feed extra hamsters to the homeless if Gordon Ramsay cooked them?
• Notable banter about Ed’s partner volunteering at shelters and the fate of hoarded rodents.

7. Would You Eat a Dog? Meat Ethics (32:21–34:47)

• Further animal ethics: willing to eat guinea pigs, not dogs (except, maybe, if traveling and to avoid offense).
• Joke about which dog breed would be tastiest (Ed: “Golden retriever, ‘cause things that are loved taste better”).

8. Hospital-worthy Love Triangles Among Seniors (35:03–42:28)

Detroit Senior Love Triangle Shootout (35:03–42:28)

• A senior center love triangle devolves into a shootout: four shot, all survive.
• The details: “Johnny” (65) breaks up with a 70s man for another; heartbreak leads to gunfire in the retirement home.
  • Henry (36:11): “How much do you have to suck to get broken up with at the Detroit Senior Center?”
  • Discussions of gun rights for the elderly, and a pitch for “old people as cannon fodder in future wars.”
  • Notable quote:
    Ed (41:11): “They are simply not doing it fast enough. They must kill themselves off faster.”

[Segment] The “Love” Throuple, Chihuahua Chewing, and Social Security Fraud (44:00–51:38)

• Elderly couple keeps their dead “third” hidden in the house, collecting his checks, while their Chihuahuas nibble on him.
• Most offense is taken by the deception to the dead man’s family—not the financial crime or canine cannibalism.
  • Ed (49:53): “Eight Chihuahuas… no wonder they’re stealing money.”
• Side note: if Ed dies, Henry has permission to collect his checks if he can hide the body.

[Listener Letters & Oddball Stories] (52:00–61:38)

1. Rabies From a Bat (53:19–54:56)

• A listener’s tale: bitten by a sick bat, ends up in the ER during the Casey Anthony trial, undergoes grueling rabies treatment.
  • Ed: “What an asshole!” [re: the boyfriend who dumped her for alleged rabies risk]
  • Discussion: bats, rabies, and how rare infection is.

2. Build-A-Bear Stuffed With Human Ashes (57:09–59:38)

• Former Build-A-Bear worker shares: yes, people bring in urns, even dead baby ashes, to stuff into bears.
  • Ed: “You can hug a Build-A-Bear, better than an urn.”
  • Discussion: what if your dog rips it open?; entrepreneurial idea: “huggable urns.”

Notable Quotes

• “The piggy lives. The piggy lives.” – Henry (01:31)
• “When was the last time you’ve seen an alligator’s erect penis?” – Ed (07:19)
• “Now I can come from all sorts of fantasies... my go-to is turning into a man and getting fatter and fatter until I climax.” – a listener’s asexual confession (12:01)
• “Why is she taking heat when their toilet can’t handle one woman’s amount of shit?” – Ed (21:28)
• “Would you feed excess hamsters to the homeless, if Gordon Ramsay made them delicious?” – Henry (31:27)
• “How much do you have to suck to get broken up with at the Detroit Senior Center?” – Henry (36:11)
• “Eight Chihuahuas… no wonder they’re stealing money.” – Ed (49:53)
• “If you could help an elderly person survive a gunshot, not bad.” – Ed (41:34)
• “All I want is your laughter—and your money when you can give it to me.” – Henry (66:11)

Important Timestamps

• Ed’s ‘resurrection’ banter: 00:46–03:40
• Silent Fat Man / Minilights Cryptid: 04:00–07:13
• Masturbation / Asexuality: 08:41–14:52
• Diarrhea Plane Incident: 17:48–24:16
• Prisoners Eat Guinea Pigs: 24:45–32:21
• Senior Love Triangle Shootout: 35:03–42:28
• Dead Throuple/Social Security Fraud: 44:00–51:38
• Rabies/Bat Letter: 53:19–54:56
• Build-A-Bear & Human Ashes: 57:09–59:38

Memorable Moments & Running Gags

• Forced alligator genitalia search and Henry’s comic disgust.
• Listener confession about advanced, nontraditional masturbation.
• Ed and Henry soliciting bizarre listener emails (“skinny but took a massive shit,” or opinions on eating hamsters).
• Ongoing “collect my checks if I die” pact.

Closing Shoutouts & Upcoming

• Halloween Sound Effects Album announcement (“Fright Jansen’s Revolting Repository of Ghastly Sounds”) – limited vinyl/digital download, preorder soon.
• Upcoming Side Stories live shows in Kansas City (Sept 21) and Redway, CA (Oct 24), and Columbus, OH (Nov 30).
• Plug for LPN’s free content across various projects.

Summary

This Side Stories installment is classic Last Podcast On The Left chaos: full of grotesque news, sharp banter, gleefully taboo topics, and a raucous celebration of Ed’s “resurrection.” The episode stands out for its irreverent discussion of bodies (human and animal), sex and kink, crime and cryptids, senior shootouts, ethically queasy empathy, and lots of listener interaction. For the uninitiated, it’s proof the hosts “never work a day in their life”—because they spend all day laughing (and gagging) at the world’s morbid best and worst.