Summary of "Last Podcast on the Left" Episode: Side Stories: Revenge of the Drones

Release Date: December 18, 2024
Podcast Title: Last Podcast on the Left
Host/Author: The Last Podcast Network
Description: Covering the dark and bizarre corners of our world, from real horrors to imagined terrors, The Last Podcast on the Left satisfies your appetite for the macabre and the mysterious.

1. Introduction to Side Stories: Revenge of the Drones

The episode kicks off with hosts Henry Zabowski and Ed Larson gearing up for their Christmas-themed side stories. Amidst jovial banter and holiday cheer, they introduce the main narrative focus: unsettling drone activities that have been causing public concern.

Notable Quote:
Henry Zabowski [00:51]: "That's when the cannibalism started. Side Stories. Yes."

2. The Drone Dilemma: Unidentified Aerial Objects in New Jersey

Henry and Ed delve into the recent surge of drones flying perilously close to Boston Airport, raising alarms about aviation safety. The discussion centers around the government's cryptic explanations, predominantly attributing these drones to human operators. However, both hosts express skepticism, pondering over the possibility of advanced or unauthorized drone technology at play.

Notable Quotes:
Ed Larson [06:03]: "Because most of them we get are from China. They cannot enter restricted airspace if you want them to."
Henry Zabowski [07:26]: "It is no longer whether these are aliens or not. I don't know if they are aliens or not."

Listeners have contributed insights, including emails from aerospace professionals questioning the feasibility of large drones sustaining prolonged flight times due to battery constraints. The hosts also explore the idea that some drone sightings might be misidentified conventional aircraft, especially near Air Force bases.

Notable Quote:
Henry Zabowski [09:14]: "But why would they be testing it all the way over here? They'd be testing it over in fucking Bosnia or some shit."

3. A Tale of Deception: Ryan Borgward's Fake Death

The podcast shifts to the intriguing story of Ryan Borgward, a Wisconsin kayaker who orchestrated an elaborate plan to fake his own death. Driven by undisclosed motives, Borgward engaged in a meticulous scheme involving a staged drowning, complete with a misleading itinerary and planted evidence designed to deceive his family and authorities.

The hosts dissect Borgward’s journey from a solo kayaking trip to international travel, highlighting the logistical challenges and eventual unraveling of his deception. Despite his efforts, Borgward was apprehended due to inconsistencies and financial discrepancies, particularly involving a life insurance policy that raised red flags.

Notable Quotes:
Henry Zabowski [24:31]: "This guy really went for it. He looked into what happens when you drown and what are the circumstances by which people drown in a lake and he realized he's like, oh, I'm gonna do that."
Ed Larson [30:36]: "This is so funny, Eddie. It's literally another example. It's the health insurance is what got him."

4. Family Annihilators: Tragedies Amid the Holidays

Henry and Ed explore the grim phenomenon of family annihilators, individuals who commit mass killings within their own families. They highlight recent cases, including a 16-year-old boy in New Mexico charged with murdering four family members. The discussion touches on the psychological and sociological factors that might contribute to such extreme actions, with the hosts emphasizing the eerie timing around the holiday season.

Notable Quotes:
Ed Larson [34:12]: "Yeah, this is true love. And these are like the new Bunny and Kai."
Henry Zabowski [37:20]: "How is your new antifa leadership going?"

5. Highway Mysteries: Bennington, Nebraska's Crash Specter

The episode recounts a perplexing series of vehicular accidents on Highway 36 in Bennington, Nebraska, where the same unidentified man appeared at each crash scene, offering unsolicited assistance. His consistent presence and the peculiar placement of objects on the roadway have left investigators baffled, speculating on motives ranging from malicious intent to twisted heroism.

The hosts compare this case to cinematic portrayals of mysterious figures in accident scenarios, pondering whether this individual seeks recognition as a hero or harbors darker intentions.

Notable Quotes:
Henry Zabowski [38:25]: "Right. So next thing that happened was that a guy, Kyle Sorensen, he hits a bike that been left in the center..."
Ed Larson [40:30]: "Oh no, no, no, no."

6. Daycare Horror: A Child's Ordeal in Texas

A harrowing account unfolds about a two-year-old girl who fell into a septic tank at Children's Lighthouse Daycare in Prosper, Texas. The negligence of the daycare staff, who failed to secure the hazardous area and promptly respond to the incident, led to the child being trapped for nearly an hour in deplorable conditions. The hosts critique the institutional failures and highlight the emotional trauma inflicted on both the child and her family.

Notable Quotes:
Henry Zabowski [50:16]: "No, no, thanks. I like the pras, like branches. It's long legs. Just the guy going like, hi."
Ed Larson [51:07]: "They're saying, oh, she was only in there for five or ten minutes. That's what they're trying to say."

7. Trapped in the Dark: Calgary Man's Desperate Struggle

The hosts narrate the story of a 22-year-old man who found himself stuck at the bottom of a 12-meter deep abandoned well near the Thailand-Myanmar border. Despite his desperate calls for help, cultural superstitions led the nearby villagers to believe he was a ghost, resulting in his prolonged entrapment and eventual rescue after three harrowing days.

This segment underscores the intersection of fear, superstition, and the dire consequences that arise when rational responses are overridden by irrational beliefs.

Notable Quotes:
Henry Zabowski [54:18]: "Don't go anywhere near there, man. All right. Don't go near that hole, man."
Ed Larson [54:35]: "They know. They have to know what it is."

8. Marital Manipulation: The Austrian Couple's Fraudulent Divorces

Henry and Ed discuss a bizarre case from Vienna, Austria, where an elderly couple orchestrated twelve divorces over 43 years to exploit loopholes in severance pay policies. By repeatedly divorcing and remarrying, the wife secured substantial financial benefits intended for widows, amounting to €727,000. The hosts debate the ethical implications, questioning whether this constitutes fraud or clever maneuvering within legal frameworks.

Notable Quotes:
Ed Larson [55:56]: "It's a loophole. It's like getting in your butt so you can keep your virginity."
Henry Zabowski [58:00]: "That's why every single, like how many stupid. How many stupid warnings you see, like you see on a hair dryer or just don't use in bath."

9. Unsolved Mysteries: Listener UFO Sightings and Theories

Listener-submitted stories about UFO sightings and unexplained aerial phenomena take center stage as Henry recounts a personal experience involving a mysterious, cigar-shaped object hovering over a tree line. The hosts analyze the plausibility of various explanations, from cutting-edge military technology to extraterrestrial visitors, ultimately leaning towards rational interpretations like drones or misidentified aircraft.

This segment reiterates the perennial fascination and fear surrounding unidentified flying objects, emphasizing the human tendency to seek patterns and meaning in the unknown.

Notable Quotes:
Henry Zabowski [64:13]: "I saw some weird shit in the sky. This is around 2014 and. But. But fucking Egypt, southern Indiana."
Ed Larson [70:03]: "Yeah. Yeah, I do. I think that whatever we're looking at is. It's all. It's mysterious and it's everything. It's all of it, every single bit of it."

10. Comedic Interludes and Promotions

Interspersed throughout the episode are humorous exchanges between Henry and Ed, often involving offbeat jokes and playful insults. Additionally, promotional segments for live shows, Patreon support, and sponsors like Instacart and Simplisafe are seamlessly integrated, maintaining the podcast's signature blend of dark humor and informative content.

Notable Quotes:
Henry Zabowski [63:20]: "Six or seven of these this morning. It's like me and Marcus has got his pile of chewed up nicotine gum."
Ed Larson [74:43]: "You're Hitler's niece. I know who you are."

11. Conclusion and Final Thoughts

As the episode winds down, the hosts summarize the unsettling stories covered, reaffirming their commitment to unveiling the strange and sinister undercurrents of society. They encourage listeners to engage via emails and social media, hinting at more thrilling content in future episodes and live shows.

Notable Quotes:
Henry Zabowski [75:04]: "Don't kill your family. Family this Christmas."
Ed Larson [75:08]: "Yeah. Don't kill your family."

Key Takeaways:

• Drones Near Airports: Increasingly unauthorized and potentially dangerous drone activities are raising concerns about aviation safety, with mixed explanations ranging from human operators to speculative theories about advanced technology.

• Faked Deaths and Family Annihilators: Personal narratives like Ryan Borgward's attempt to escape family and the tragic instances of individuals committing mass familial murders highlight deep-seated psychological issues and societal pressures.

• Mysteries and Misadventures: From highway crash specters to daycare horrors and well-stuck men, the episode underscores the unpredictable and often terrifying nature of unexplained events.

• Ethical Loopholes: The Austrian couple's fraudulent divorces serve as a cautionary tale about exploiting legal systems for personal gain, prompting discussions on morality and legality.

• Unsolved Phenomena: UFO sightings continue to captivate and mystify, reflecting humanity's enduring quest to understand the unknown.

Notable Quotes with Timestamps:

• Henry Zabowski [05:38]: "Cuz Henry refuses to talk about it."

• Ed Larson [10:40]: "Oh really?"

• Henry Zabowski [29:57]: "You have to do it."

• Ed Larson [37:03]: "You're Hitler's niece. I know who you are."

This comprehensive exploration of "Side Stories: Revenge of the Drones" offers listeners a deep dive into bizarre and unsettling tales, enhanced by the hosts' dark humor and critical insights. Whether dissecting the complexities of drone regulation or unraveling the threads of human deceit, Henry and Ed deliver a gripping narrative that keeps audiences both entertained and contemplative.