Side Stories: Revenge of the Drones - Last Podcast On The Left

Summary7 min read

Summary of "Last Podcast on the Left" Episode: Side Stories: Revenge of the Drones

Release Date: December 18, 2024
Podcast Title: Last Podcast on the Left
Host/Author: The Last Podcast Network
Description: Covering the dark and bizarre corners of our world, from real horrors to imagined terrors, The Last Podcast on the Left satisfies your appetite for the macabre and the mysterious.

1. Introduction to Side Stories: Revenge of the Drones

The episode kicks off with hosts Henry Zabowski and Ed Larson gearing up for their Christmas-themed side stories. Amidst jovial banter and holiday cheer, they introduce the main narrative focus: unsettling drone activities that have been causing public concern.

Notable Quote:
Henry Zabowski [00:51]: "That's when the cannibalism started. Side Stories. Yes."

2. The Drone Dilemma: Unidentified Aerial Objects in New Jersey

Henry and Ed delve into the recent surge of drones flying perilously close to Boston Airport, raising alarms about aviation safety. The discussion centers around the government's cryptic explanations, predominantly attributing these drones to human operators. However, both hosts express skepticism, pondering over the possibility of advanced or unauthorized drone technology at play.

Notable Quotes:
Ed Larson [06:03]: "Because most of them we get are from China. They cannot enter restricted airspace if you want them to."
Henry Zabowski [07:26]: "It is no longer whether these are aliens or not. I don't know if they are aliens or not."

Listeners have contributed insights, including emails from aerospace professionals questioning the feasibility of large drones sustaining prolonged flight times due to battery constraints. The hosts also explore the idea that some drone sightings might be misidentified conventional aircraft, especially near Air Force bases.

Notable Quote:
Henry Zabowski [09:14]: "But why would they be testing it all the way over here? They'd be testing it over in fucking Bosnia or some shit."

3. A Tale of Deception: Ryan Borgward's Fake Death

The podcast shifts to the intriguing story of Ryan Borgward, a Wisconsin kayaker who orchestrated an elaborate plan to fake his own death. Driven by undisclosed motives, Borgward engaged in a meticulous scheme involving a staged drowning, complete with a misleading itinerary and planted evidence designed to deceive his family and authorities.

The hosts dissect Borgward’s journey from a solo kayaking trip to international travel, highlighting the logistical challenges and eventual unraveling of his deception. Despite his efforts, Borgward was apprehended due to inconsistencies and financial discrepancies, particularly involving a life insurance policy that raised red flags.

Notable Quotes:
Henry Zabowski [24:31]: "This guy really went for it. He looked into what happens when you drown and what are the circumstances by which people drown in a lake and he realized he's like, oh, I'm gonna do that."
Ed Larson [30:36]: "This is so funny, Eddie. It's literally another example. It's the health insurance is what got him."

4. Family Annihilators: Tragedies Amid the Holidays

Henry and Ed explore the grim phenomenon of family annihilators, individuals who commit mass killings within their own families. They highlight recent cases, including a 16-year-old boy in New Mexico charged with murdering four family members. The discussion touches on the psychological and sociological factors that might contribute to such extreme actions, with the hosts emphasizing the eerie timing around the holiday season.

Notable Quotes:
Ed Larson [34:12]: "Yeah, this is true love. And these are like the new Bunny and Kai."
Henry Zabowski [37:20]: "How is your new antifa leadership going?"

5. Highway Mysteries: Bennington, Nebraska's Crash Specter

The episode recounts a perplexing series of vehicular accidents on Highway 36 in Bennington, Nebraska, where the same unidentified man appeared at each crash scene, offering unsolicited assistance. His consistent presence and the peculiar placement of objects on the roadway have left investigators baffled, speculating on motives ranging from malicious intent to twisted heroism.

The hosts compare this case to cinematic portrayals of mysterious figures in accident scenarios, pondering whether this individual seeks recognition as a hero or harbors darker intentions.

Notable Quotes:
Henry Zabowski [38:25]: "Right. So next thing that happened was that a guy, Kyle Sorensen, he hits a bike that been left in the center..."
Ed Larson [40:30]: "Oh no, no, no, no."

6. Daycare Horror: A Child's Ordeal in Texas

A harrowing account unfolds about a two-year-old girl who fell into a septic tank at Children's Lighthouse Daycare in Prosper, Texas. The negligence of the daycare staff, who failed to secure the hazardous area and promptly respond to the incident, led to the child being trapped for nearly an hour in deplorable conditions. The hosts critique the institutional failures and highlight the emotional trauma inflicted on both the child and her family.

Notable Quotes:
Henry Zabowski [50:16]: "No, no, thanks. I like the pras, like branches. It's long legs. Just the guy going like, hi."
Ed Larson [51:07]: "They're saying, oh, she was only in there for five or ten minutes. That's what they're trying to say."

7. Trapped in the Dark: Calgary Man's Desperate Struggle

The hosts narrate the story of a 22-year-old man who found himself stuck at the bottom of a 12-meter deep abandoned well near the Thailand-Myanmar border. Despite his desperate calls for help, cultural superstitions led the nearby villagers to believe he was a ghost, resulting in his prolonged entrapment and eventual rescue after three harrowing days.

This segment underscores the intersection of fear, superstition, and the dire consequences that arise when rational responses are overridden by irrational beliefs.

Notable Quotes:
Henry Zabowski [54:18]: "Don't go anywhere near there, man. All right. Don't go near that hole, man."
Ed Larson [54:35]: "They know. They have to know what it is."

8. Marital Manipulation: The Austrian Couple's Fraudulent Divorces

Henry and Ed discuss a bizarre case from Vienna, Austria, where an elderly couple orchestrated twelve divorces over 43 years to exploit loopholes in severance pay policies. By repeatedly divorcing and remarrying, the wife secured substantial financial benefits intended for widows, amounting to €727,000. The hosts debate the ethical implications, questioning whether this constitutes fraud or clever maneuvering within legal frameworks.

Notable Quotes:
Ed Larson [55:56]: "It's a loophole. It's like getting in your butt so you can keep your virginity."
Henry Zabowski [58:00]: "That's why every single, like how many stupid. How many stupid warnings you see, like you see on a hair dryer or just don't use in bath."

9. Unsolved Mysteries: Listener UFO Sightings and Theories

Listener-submitted stories about UFO sightings and unexplained aerial phenomena take center stage as Henry recounts a personal experience involving a mysterious, cigar-shaped object hovering over a tree line. The hosts analyze the plausibility of various explanations, from cutting-edge military technology to extraterrestrial visitors, ultimately leaning towards rational interpretations like drones or misidentified aircraft.

This segment reiterates the perennial fascination and fear surrounding unidentified flying objects, emphasizing the human tendency to seek patterns and meaning in the unknown.

Notable Quotes:
Henry Zabowski [64:13]: "I saw some weird shit in the sky. This is around 2014 and. But. But fucking Egypt, southern Indiana."
Ed Larson [70:03]: "Yeah. Yeah, I do. I think that whatever we're looking at is. It's all. It's mysterious and it's everything. It's all of it, every single bit of it."

10. Comedic Interludes and Promotions

Interspersed throughout the episode are humorous exchanges between Henry and Ed, often involving offbeat jokes and playful insults. Additionally, promotional segments for live shows, Patreon support, and sponsors like Instacart and Simplisafe are seamlessly integrated, maintaining the podcast's signature blend of dark humor and informative content.

Notable Quotes:
Henry Zabowski [63:20]: "Six or seven of these this morning. It's like me and Marcus has got his pile of chewed up nicotine gum."
Ed Larson [74:43]: "You're Hitler's niece. I know who you are."

11. Conclusion and Final Thoughts

As the episode winds down, the hosts summarize the unsettling stories covered, reaffirming their commitment to unveiling the strange and sinister undercurrents of society. They encourage listeners to engage via emails and social media, hinting at more thrilling content in future episodes and live shows.

Notable Quotes:
Henry Zabowski [75:04]: "Don't kill your family. Family this Christmas."
Ed Larson [75:08]: "Yeah. Don't kill your family."

Key Takeaways:

Drones Near Airports: Increasingly unauthorized and potentially dangerous drone activities are raising concerns about aviation safety, with mixed explanations ranging from human operators to speculative theories about advanced technology.
Faked Deaths and Family Annihilators: Personal narratives like Ryan Borgward's attempt to escape family and the tragic instances of individuals committing mass familial murders highlight deep-seated psychological issues and societal pressures.
Mysteries and Misadventures: From highway crash specters to daycare horrors and well-stuck men, the episode underscores the unpredictable and often terrifying nature of unexplained events.
Ethical Loopholes: The Austrian couple's fraudulent divorces serve as a cautionary tale about exploiting legal systems for personal gain, prompting discussions on morality and legality.
Unsolved Phenomena: UFO sightings continue to captivate and mystify, reflecting humanity's enduring quest to understand the unknown.

Notable Quotes with Timestamps:

Henry Zabowski [05:38]: "Cuz Henry refuses to talk about it."
Ed Larson [10:40]: "Oh really?"
Henry Zabowski [29:57]: "You have to do it."
Ed Larson [37:03]: "You're Hitler's niece. I know who you are."

This comprehensive exploration of "Side Stories: Revenge of the Drones" offers listeners a deep dive into bizarre and unsettling tales, enhanced by the hosts' dark humor and critical insights. Whether dissecting the complexities of drone regulation or unraveling the threads of human deceit, Henry and Ed deliver a gripping narrative that keeps audiences both entertained and contemplative.

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Transcript756 lines

[00:00]
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[00:32]
Henry Zabowski
Do you want to listen to last podcast on the left without ads, do you want extra content? Do you want to see what it's like behind the scenes? Patreon.com lastpodcast on the left, there's no place to escape to.
[00:45]
Ed Larson
This is the lost podcast on the left side stories.
[00:52]
Henry Zabowski
That's when the cannibalism started. Side Stories. Yes.
[01:05]
Ed Larson
God. Feeling good? Yeah.
[01:07]
Henry Zabowski
You feel good?
[01:08]
Ed Larson
Yeah. He's got that dookie, man. That was a big one, dude.
[01:11]
Henry Zabowski
I almost had to call in Rob.
[01:12]
Ed Larson
Be like, what do we do with this thing?
[01:13]
Henry Zabowski
Oh, that's what happened. Because they said that there was a 2.5 earthquake in Montecito.
[01:18]
Ed Larson
Yeah.
[01:18]
Henry Zabowski
So I thought that's where it's going was. I thought that that's what that rumble was, man.
[01:24]
Ed Larson
Shit so big I almost had to buy the Christmas present.
[01:26]
Henry Zabowski
Wow. You know, honestly, what that should do for you besides make you late to record.
[01:31]
Ed Larson
Great.
[01:32]
Henry Zabowski
I now after the fact, I that.
[01:34]
Ed Larson
Was so big, I came.
[01:36]
Henry Zabowski
Wow. What a great way to start our Christmas episode of Side Stories.
[01:41]
Ed Larson
This lead up to Christmas.
[01:42]
Henry Zabowski
This is. Yeah, honestly, it's still the godless December. No, no, it's not Christmas yet. This is godless December.
[01:48]
Ed Larson
Yeah.
[01:48]
Henry Zabowski
Bills are due. Bills, taxes are coming.
[01:51]
Ed Larson
That's right.
[01:52]
Henry Zabowski
Welcome to side Stories.
[01:53]
Ed Larson
To do, you must listen.
[01:55]
Henry Zabowski
Have to get.
[01:55]
Ed Larson
Do not skip. Actually do it.
[01:57]
Henry Zabowski
Everyone do it. Everyone. My name is Henry Zabowski. I'm sitting here with Ed Larson.
[02:00]
Ed Larson
Hello, I'm big. Hey, Henry. Before we get started, we got a gift. Remember I went and saw my dentist today?
[02:06]
Henry Zabowski
Yep. Yeah. Oh, and was she happy with you?
[02:08]
Ed Larson
She was happy.
[02:09]
Henry Zabowski
Cuz we did bleep her name out.
[02:11]
Ed Larson
Yes.
[02:11]
Henry Zabowski
Several times. But then I believe in the YouTube replay. We didn't.
[02:15]
Ed Larson
Yes. I think that's what the problem was.
[02:17]
Henry Zabowski
Yes. Cuz then now she found out.
[02:19]
Ed Larson
Yeah. That I.
[02:19]
Henry Zabowski
You talk. She's a great dentist.
[02:21]
Ed Larson
Wonderful dentist. Honestly. Say I would. My teeth were a mess and now they're doing great.
[02:24]
Henry Zabowski
Elegant woman. Yes, Very picturesque. Esque woman.
[02:28]
Ed Larson
I met her and we were asking about the dental dam and whether it's good or.
[02:33]
Henry Zabowski
Well, we were making fun. We were making jibes.
[02:36]
Ed Larson
Well, she gave me some. Would you like to see if maybe you want to bring this home?
[02:41]
Henry Zabowski
Well, let me just see if I was.
[02:42]
Ed Larson
She told me it was a gift for you.
[02:44]
Henry Zabowski
Oh, for me?
[02:45]
Ed Larson
Well, there's only one here. We can't share.
[02:47]
Henry Zabowski
No, we cannot. I will not share this with you.
[02:50]
Ed Larson
Clean it and bring it back.
[02:51]
Henry Zabowski
Listen, if you. Lady in the tramp. A dental dam. It's just two tramps. Here we go. This is the. I feel like do. I've never used one of these before.
[03:00]
Ed Larson
No, no, no, no. Yeah, you put it on there. Yeah, yeah. There you go. No, yeah, yeah. You got to lick it and. Yeah, yeah. You got to push it.
[03:07]
Henry Zabowski
Supposed to be romantic.
[03:08]
Ed Larson
Yeah. No, no. You're creating the hole. You're supposed to go into the hole. I believe.
[03:13]
Henry Zabowski
Okay. All right.
[03:14]
Ed Larson
Pretend.
[03:15]
Henry Zabowski
So this is clean, right?
[03:16]
Ed Larson
Yeah, that's clean. That's straight from the dentist office. It could be more clean.
[03:19]
Henry Zabowski
I'm gonna put it over my Starbucks can.
[03:21]
Ed Larson
All right, there it goes. I think that works. Oh, my God. Is your Starbucks squir clean?
[03:31]
Henry Zabowski
Baby, I know you're clean. I just can't bring anything back to my wife. I know. I can tell you clean, baby. By the way you dance. I know you're nice. Oh, nice tidy woman. Oh, my God. That's your asshole. What a great episode.
[03:51]
Ed Larson
Yeah already. Oh, my God.
[03:52]
Henry Zabowski
Thank you. Eddie said before the show I got some dental dams. We could do some good material with that.
[03:57]
Ed Larson
I mean, it was great. Hey, do you think. Are you not impressed by yourself?
[04:01]
Henry Zabowski
Robin Williams could never. You ever see when he does it with the pashmina?
[04:06]
Ed Larson
No.
[04:06]
Henry Zabowski
Where he does, like, he goes inside the actor studio and he takes the scarf from the woman. Then he does five accents that we can't do anymore.
[04:12]
Ed Larson
Yeah.
[04:14]
Henry Zabowski
Everybody's favorite comedian. Genius, genius, genius. Man, you want to bits like that.
[04:19]
Ed Larson
Please come to classy night out this Saturday. We have 10 tickets left.
[04:24]
Henry Zabowski
Yes. All right.
[04:24]
Ed Larson
We have 10 tickets.
[04:25]
Henry Zabowski
It's going to be truly a very special.
[04:28]
Ed Larson
I bought two tickets because I was worried that we were going to run out before I could bring my friends.
[04:32]
Henry Zabowski
I'm excited. We have people doing things they've never done before. People singing songs. It is a full holiday extravaganza.
[04:40]
Ed Larson
I got a Christmas tree for the stage. It's going to be wonderful.
[04:43]
Henry Zabowski
It's going to be a lot of fun and I can't wait. Come on out. And also check us out in Atlanta at the Coca Cola Roxy. January 11th. We are. This show's going to be fucking awesome.
[04:53]
Ed Larson
I can't wait for the show. There's still tickets left that our side story show in Atlanta sold out. So if you want to see us in Atlanta, you got to go to the Coca Cola Roxy and check out last podcast proper. That's going to be on January 11th. Get those tickets. Great Christmas present.
[05:08]
Henry Zabowski
I'll see you. It's a good present. It's done for you already. You have a whole night. You get to go up to. I believe it's in Marietta, which is outside of Atlanta. Technically.
[05:17]
Ed Larson
It's far.
[05:18]
Henry Zabowski
It's a bit far. It's a bit far.
[05:20]
Ed Larson
It's definitely, you know.
[05:21]
Henry Zabowski
But spend the evening out there.
[05:23]
Ed Larson
Yeah. Don't drive drunk home.
[05:25]
Henry Zabowski
No.
[05:25]
Ed Larson
Please drive drunk there, sober up during the show and fall asleep on the way home while you're looking for Don't. Drones.
[05:33]
Henry Zabowski
Yes. Don't drive drunk. And we now we're gonna talk about the drones for a second. Yeah, just for a bit of a second.
[05:38]
Ed Larson
I. Yeah. Cuz Henry refuses to talk about it.
[05:41]
Henry Zabowski
Well, nothing's going on, Eddie.
[05:43]
Ed Larson
Yeah. What do you mean nothing's going on?
[05:45]
Henry Zabowski
Don't you understand? It's just plains and we're idiots. You're a fat idiot.
[05:49]
Ed Larson
I know.
[05:50]
Henry Zabowski
I'm a getting fatter idiot.
[05:52]
Ed Larson
Yes. And post fat refatting.
[05:55]
Henry Zabowski
Getting back to fat again. I'm. I'm in my Oprah Winfrey phase three.
[05:59]
Ed Larson
Yeah. This is like the fourth episode in the sequel.
[06:03]
Henry Zabowski
It's the grand fattening of Henry Zabrowski and I.
[06:07]
Ed Larson
Final fattening, probably.
[06:09]
Henry Zabowski
Hopefully. And why would I talk about something that's not happening?
[06:15]
Ed Larson
Yeah, well, because a lot of it apparently is done by humans. Two people arrested for flying drones dangerously close to Boston airport.
[06:22]
Henry Zabowski
Where they're stupid.
[06:23]
Ed Larson
Yeah, well, I mean, honestly, what the fuck are you doing? They're literally trying to cause trouble.
[06:28]
Henry Zabowski
So the last last week obviously I went into. We got. We had a kind of a serious moment last week. We talked about the. The health care shooter. We talked about this actual serious problem, drones. But I do like and I am open to a human explanation. We have said already. Are these things flying all over the eastern seaboard?
[06:46]
Ed Larson
Well, my favorite thing is every time I see a news story about it, it's always like the government says Most of them are human flown. It's and it's like most. You can't say the word most.
[06:57]
Henry Zabowski
They won't even give us the credit of lying to us anymore. They won't even just make up a reason of what's happening. Just make it up because at this point you just saying I don't know, I don't know what it is. Oh, you don't know what it is? You don't know what it is. You shot a thing about over the tundras of Alaska. You found a thing the size of a car in the middle of the sky and you shot it out of the sky instantly. We have no idea what the visible. What my.
[07:27]
Ed Larson
Well you can't shoot this shit out of the sky. New Jersey is the most densely populated state in America. You can't just be shooting shit out of the sky. It's going to kill somebody.
[07:36]
Henry Zabowski
Getting very complicated because over the last week since we've covered this number one, we've had a full crash of one of these so called drones. Couple crashes, yes, in New Jersey neighborhoods. A friend of mine, literally my friend Sandy sent me a message saying like look at this. Literally blocks from the, the drone falling from the sky, government came, scooped it up, nothing happened. Must be, must be commercial. We don't know. They keep saying we don't know. If you watch all of this, I also seeing a lot of debunking which I actually truly appreciate because it's a very scary story. And so there are a lot of people pointing out especially if you go into any sort aviation subreddit they are showing that some of the stuff we are seeing they are planes. Yeah, there's planes now people are staring up in the sky. They have loosened drone regulations around New Jersey. So things are going up in the sky Also where this lot of this is happening in New Jersey is around these Air Force bases. We have things flying in and out, maybe stuff we don't know. One great listener sent me an email which I thought was interesting is that you notice number one, we don't hear from any professional drone operators. There's nobody talking to people that run high end. Very, very large drones. Right. So this guy, someone emailed me that works within the drone industry and they said I've worked with small publicly available drones to very large 8 rotor drones capable of lifting large cinema cameras that are about 6ft in diameter. I've also seen those drones used for survey and geospatial work equipped with LIDAR and other sensory equipment. In my opinion there's no way that these large drones people are. That are just not just large drones that people are flying around. Large drones have a very limited flight time even without a payload. They use a very large lipo battery, I guess at the size of the weight of bricks and they don't last very long. Drones of this size have to come down for battery swaps often. And the footage doesn't seem to reflect these short flight times. They aren't. They're sticking up in the sky. We don't know what they are. What I find really interesting is the fact that maybe CocoCay FAA intro. This is another one great email that I do think is interesting. One thing that this guy puts on what I think is fat could be right. It's like there's some stuff you can go to maimon aerospace.com where you could see some of these more experimental actual drones and one other one that is called the Tarot Dynamics XP4 trans wing, which is a drone that is. It's kind of in the middle of being worked on right now, which I guess they're trying to say that this is a soft launch, that they're doing it in public, which they don't do. But still this. This concept of it's a drone that goes up and has rotors that switch for it to go horizontal or vertical. So the rotors themselves switch. So the plane does it. The drone itself does change shape. So you could see. Maybe that explains why some of the things look like they're changing shape. Yeah, I could see that. But again now it seems like they're just throwing drones up willy nilly. One thing that's important to know is that with civilian drones, you literally. Because most of them we get are from China. They cannot enter restricted airspace if you want them to. Yeah, they fall down. They literally are built to not be able to go into air protected airspace.
[10:41]
Ed Larson
Oh really?
[10:42]
Henry Zabowski
Yes. That's all. They go up and they literally fall out of the sky. It's you. Anything you can just buy like anything you just buy on Amazon. Wow.
[10:48]
Ed Larson
So they have like what GPS on them and like once you go somewhere.
[10:51]
Henry Zabowski
You just know there are no. No spots it can't go. They can't go to.
[10:54]
Ed Larson
Interesting. I never knew that.
[10:55]
Henry Zabowski
And that they are. That's why they fall down. So that's also one of people just throwing them some up. But there's. Then there's a lot of talk about is it Russian intelligence seeking? That's a big thing.
[11:07]
Ed Larson
But why would they be testing it all the way over here? They'd be testing it over in fucking Bosnia or some shit.
[11:12]
Henry Zabowski
Because they're not Eddie. But that's literally one of those. I, I don't believe that. I don't believe that either. And I'm looking for a human explanation. So what I did get was like, I actually really like this one. This is really good. So I got someone, they work in the craft industry. As someone who works in the aerospace industry, manufacturing, the New Jersey stuff struck me differently for a few reasons. The craft or sedan size, that's just smaller. The most fixed wing aircraft carrying people that they can carry people, but much larger than commercially available quadcopters and drones. While many. You have the lights. This is what people saying a lot of why they're missing identified as planes and people don't know what's going on. While the many UAP sightings have to do with the lights, the lights on this craft appear to be very much like conventional aircraft, specifically the red and green wingtip lights and forward landing lights. So mostly drones don't have lights. These ones are outfitted with lights that would maybe make you think it's a plane. Almost like they're trying to disguise the fact that they are drones or, or they. Some kind. This is the most wackadoo explanation, okay, which is that they are some form of organic life that is looking and trying to look like a plane.
[12:25]
Ed Larson
Okay, that makes sense.
[12:26]
Henry Zabowski
But that's also. That's the most far flung, ridiculous explanation. And this is what they're saying to flight tracking the craft are real. We now know that.
[12:34]
Ed Larson
Yeah.
[12:34]
Henry Zabowski
The stuff that's flying around is physical. Why isn't the FAA not know? Why can't they just say we are unleashing. This is like a drone exercise. They could just say whatever they want, but they won't. They won't say what it is. So that's the actual mystery here. It is no longer whether these are aliens or not. I don't know if they are aliens or not. And actually, I don't think the answer particularly matters. I think the only thing that matters now is so all this stuff's going on and you're just gonna go up in there and you're gaslighting me. Yeah, like the government's gaslighting us, telling us we're crazy. And they're like, nothing's happening. Oh, whatever. And then you can see people on the Internet absorb it, right? And they go like, it's just planes. Everybody's stupid. And you're like, it's bigger than planes. It is. There's Something happening. We don't know what it is. Yeah.
[13:20]
Ed Larson
Rob, I just sent you a. A thing on Instagram. If you want to say I forgot. I. I saved this video like a year ago for our stream, and I just remembered it while you were talking to me that this exists. And I took a look at this. Do you think that this could be what's going on? I. There is a. There's these drones. It's called the Jetson one.
[13:42]
Henry Zabowski
Oh, I thought you were gonna send me something that was just like a big, like, old gay man sucking his own dick.
[13:47]
Ed Larson
Oh, y. Well, that's. That's what my. That's what my boys from Florida have been sending me. It's like, oh, they got another drone. It's just like the guy with the huge dick. Yeah.
[13:55]
Henry Zabowski
Yeah, I. I do like that, though. I like that and some misinformation. But this is saying, what happened to Lemon Party? It's still out there. Right?
[14:03]
Ed Larson
So this is the first affordable EV toll on the market. No pilot's license required in the U.S. look at this thing. This could be something that we're seeing. This is sedan size.
[14:14]
Henry Zabowski
It's got no fucking lights on it.
[14:16]
Ed Larson
It's got. Well, yeah, I mean, lights are easy to attach.
[14:18]
Henry Zabowski
Why? Why.
[14:20]
Ed Larson
Why does it have no lights?
[14:21]
Henry Zabowski
I mean, it's also very unique. These things are solid. You don't see a person inside of them. We'll talk about this. I think. I do think that what. I mean, this is also like a.
[14:30]
Ed Larson
Year and a half ago.
[14:31]
Henry Zabowski
Our aerospace engineer listener who sent us that email does say, which I do believe. The government is constantly working on a series of flying crafts that don't look like stuff we're used to seeing.
[14:44]
Ed Larson
Yeah.
[14:44]
Henry Zabowski
So there could be some of that. I feel like now, to be honest, they're just throwing stuff up in the sky because they.
[14:51]
Ed Larson
Well, now everyone is.
[14:52]
Henry Zabowski
Now everybody is. So now, just like the Luigi Mangioni story. It's just another story that is entering into the ass end of the news cycle and will be in there. It's just gonna be over.
[15:04]
Ed Larson
Do you think we'll still be talking about this in 2025?
[15:08]
Henry Zabowski
If it's still happening, which it might be.
[15:10]
Ed Larson
Yeah.
[15:11]
Henry Zabowski
Because it's not stopping. And it continues to actually spread and get weirder.
[15:15]
Ed Larson
Well, it's all over the country now.
[15:16]
Henry Zabowski
It is all over.
[15:17]
Ed Larson
Seen it in California. I've seen in New Mexico.
[15:19]
Henry Zabowski
I have emails from Arizona, Ohio, Portland.
[15:22]
Ed Larson
Yeah. Washington, D.C. arizona, aviation capital of America.
[15:26]
Henry Zabowski
Yes, I have been.
[15:27]
Ed Larson
You know, the Wright brothers are from Ohio. North Carolina tries to claim them because that's where the flight was. But the Wright brothers are from Ohio.
[15:33]
Henry Zabowski
I like the wrong brothers better.
[15:35]
Ed Larson
I bet you do.
[15:35]
Henry Zabowski
Yeah. Because they invented cornhole. And.
[15:37]
Ed Larson
Yeah, they love it.
[15:38]
Henry Zabowski
Yeah. Yeah. Been pulling up. Pulling a man's pants down while he's asleep in his. I love the wrong brothers. Yeah. All right. Those are the ones that you. They were the ones that first told me about a dental dam because they never used them.
[15:51]
Ed Larson
Was that cherry flavored?
[15:53]
Henry Zabowski
It was. You know, it did have a cherry flavor, but I think my gums are bleeding. We have another update. We're going to get out of here. We're going to get out of this thing. Also, I will say the. I. I know that we're in the pocket with something like the Luigi and Gion story. When we get angry emails from both sides, that's how we know we're good. Like, we're right in there, which is good.
[16:12]
Ed Larson
Literally, everyone's just like, you can't support him. You have to support him.
[16:15]
Henry Zabowski
It's so funny.
[16:16]
Ed Larson
We are just. I just have to nihilistic.
[16:19]
Henry Zabowski
I'm a broadcast. I am on nobody's team but my own. And so one of those. And that's just that I'm proud of that. Y'all know. Y'all know me. But I will say I'm happy for the people that have sent me emails that are just people that are receptionists at these various healthcare places that are the ones receiving the brunt of the death threats. As you can see, they're setting up the NYPD, setting up their own hotline for CEOs to call just in case they scared. Because you don't want to see you to be scared.
[16:47]
Ed Larson
Oh, my God. You should be calling.
[16:49]
Henry Zabowski
I've been calling everyone I can call. I don't ever. Don't label me with that.
[16:54]
Ed Larson
Yeah.
[16:54]
Henry Zabowski
I'm not a CEO. I'm a grassroots mayor. I'm a mayor of podcasting.
[16:59]
Ed Larson
Is some guy with a shitty podcast gonna come off you? No.
[17:02]
Henry Zabowski
No. You don't know.
[17:04]
Ed Larson
You never know.
[17:05]
Henry Zabowski
You never know, Eddie.
[17:05]
Ed Larson
You really don't.
[17:06]
Henry Zabowski
Oh, I honestly.
[17:07]
Ed Larson
Let's up your security. I want some real security in this place.
[17:11]
Henry Zabowski
Do we need more death threats?
[17:13]
Ed Larson
Oh, my God. I would love some guns around the place.
[17:15]
Henry Zabowski
Ye mean. Well, you know, everyone's saying no. Everyone has told me.
[17:18]
Ed Larson
I said, got finger guns. He's saying, yes.
[17:20]
Henry Zabowski
I don't want guns. I want robotic dogs. I want the Boston dynamic dog. That's what I want.
[17:25]
Ed Larson
Great idea.
[17:26]
Henry Zabowski
I'd have Been asking.
[17:27]
Ed Larson
It's adorable.
[17:27]
Henry Zabowski
It doesn't call that cost that much money, but it's just know remember, when you're. When you're.
[17:32]
Ed Larson
They.
[17:32]
Henry Zabowski
The people that are getting the death threats are not who you want them to be.
[17:37]
Ed Larson
Yeah. They don't go up.
[17:38]
Henry Zabowski
It doesn't go up the pipe go.
[17:40]
Ed Larson
Sideways, straight to the police.
[17:41]
Henry Zabowski
Yes. And they are just so. Just know that I know it's only 74 grand for the Boston Dynamics.
[17:46]
Ed Larson
$74,000.
[17:48]
Henry Zabowski
We could all. As a company. I'll garner some wages. Listen, rob it just for one month. I'll garnish some wages.
[17:54]
Ed Larson
Two grand on it.
[17:55]
Henry Zabowski
We'll all do it. Yeah. We'll throw money in and we buy one dog. And that protects the network.
[17:59]
Ed Larson
Protects all. Can it go up and downstairs?
[18:02]
Henry Zabowski
Oh, yeah, yeah.
[18:03]
Ed Larson
All right.
[18:04]
Henry Zabowski
You're getting bound. Makes big leaps. Very frightening.
[18:08]
Ed Larson
All right, so it won't. With my dog.
[18:11]
Henry Zabowski
Oh, yes. It will kill everyone. It's gonna kill everyone. That's what I like. I want it. I want to be killed by my pet. That is my dream.
[18:18]
Ed Larson
They should have gave it a head. I was. Maybe you don't want to give the robot dog ahead. Sometimes you give it a head like a dog dog.
[18:24]
Henry Zabowski
No, they have. There's a head. It's a rifle.
[18:26]
Ed Larson
Oh, there you go.
[18:27]
Henry Zabowski
Isn't that nice?
[18:29]
Ed Larson
Look at that.
[18:30]
Henry Zabowski
Oh, cute. Oh, wow. Little guy. Just got a little guy. He said a little gum there. Oh, no, that's an arm attachment. So you can grab at people.
[18:36]
Ed Larson
Oh, that's great. Right at crotch level.
[18:38]
Henry Zabowski
Yeah. All right, let's do more updates.
[18:44]
Ed Larson
Yeah. Oh, you got more updates.
[18:45]
Henry Zabowski
This story at first was kind of a dumb story.
[18:49]
Ed Larson
Okay.
[18:50]
Henry Zabowski
But now that the details are out. I love this story. This a gentleman. He tried to fake his own death.
[18:56]
Ed Larson
Okay. Yeah. The guy in the lake with the canoe.
[18:59]
Henry Zabowski
Yeah.
[18:59]
Ed Larson
Like. And he ran off to Uzbekistan, and he tried to give his family the. The money.
[19:04]
Henry Zabowski
So when it all went away. Right. So Ryan Borgward, he faked his own horrible name. He's a Wisconsin kayaker, and he had faked his own death. At first, there was rumors that there. It was a rumor that he might have gone to Uzbekistan to be with a woman that he had found online. And it seems that that is true. It did true. They ended up negotiating with this man through the police, got in contact with him as he had left. So he had faked his own death. Death. And for reasons unknown, they have not released the reasons. He said that's up to the man himself, too. But he did voluntarily Return to the United States and get abduct. He got arrested on obstruction of justice, store charges and 500 bond, like nothing but this.
[19:49]
Ed Larson
Is that the crime? Is that the name of the crime? You're faking your own death? Obstruction of justice.
[19:54]
Henry Zabowski
Yeah, obstruction. Because what you're doing is making them. They spent like 35 grand on the.
[19:59]
Ed Larson
You got to pay that shit back.
[20:00]
Henry Zabowski
You do. Or that gets kind of later. You might get some jail. You might get some jail time. You might get some. Like, there's a lot of ways to go about it. I know. He's one thing he's not getting is his family back because he fucked it up. So he was married with kids. And if you just hear. I just. Now we have the details of how he made this plan. And this is a man. And.
[20:21]
Ed Larson
And I will.
[20:21]
Henry Zabowski
We've said this on the show before. And I will give this man credit for not killing his family.
[20:27]
Ed Larson
He did not kill his family.
[20:28]
Henry Zabowski
He didn't kill his family.
[20:29]
Ed Larson
We do know that about them. We can say that. That this man did not kill his family.
[20:35]
Henry Zabowski
And that is good and hard to.
[20:37]
Ed Larson
Do what, not kill your family.
[20:40]
Henry Zabowski
Every day. My mother's been here. My mother's in here for six days. All right. I wanted to literally crucify her.
[20:46]
Ed Larson
Yeah. I'm an only child, but I love her. Yeah.
[20:49]
Henry Zabowski
I love her to death. And honestly, mom, we had a great time.
[20:51]
Ed Larson
Yeah, no, she was great. I had a wonderful time with your mom.
[20:54]
Henry Zabowski
We had a really, really good time.
[20:55]
Ed Larson
Gay men's course. Wonderful.
[20:57]
Henry Zabowski
Where were the wives on that?
[20:58]
Ed Larson
I don't know.
[20:59]
Henry Zabowski
The gay men's course. No, I mean, I get. Christmas makes us all happy. Yeah, but why? Where are the women?
[21:05]
Ed Larson
Yeah. And what's up with the line for the men's room?
[21:07]
Henry Zabowski
I don't know. I love seeing gay men all get together because I love hearing laughter. Yeah, right. Because what makes people more gay than the holidays?
[21:15]
Ed Larson
And they were hairy chested, strong. Like. You could tell they're like working out athletes.
[21:20]
Henry Zabowski
Yeah. Where were the women? Where were their wives?
[21:22]
Ed Larson
Yeah.
[21:24]
Henry Zabowski
Incredible show. Incredible show. And. Yeah. Oh, wow. What a. What a Christmas experience I've had. I've had so much Christmas in the last five days. I never want to see a jingle bell again. But we got eight days left.
[21:38]
Ed Larson
Yeah, I can see you getting shingle bells this year.
[21:41]
Henry Zabowski
Fucking. It's on its way.
[21:46]
Ed Larson
Let's face it, after a night with drinks, you probably don't bounce back the next day like you used to. I know I don't. Oh, boy. And it's the holiday season, so everywhere you go, people are putting drinks in your hand. You're talking to your mom, have a drink. You're talking to your uncle, have a drink. You're talking to your grandpa, hey, we're having a drink. You go over your friend's house, what are they doing? They got eggnog, they got wine, they got apple cider. It's too much. Don't come in naked, Come in prepared. Come in ready. Come in with your Zbiotics pre alcohol probiotic drink. It's the world's first genetically engineered probiotic. You drink it it before you go out drinking and then the next day ain't so bad. I've been putting in people's stockings, letting them know that, hey, there's a secret out there. It's called Zbiotics and it helps you get through the holidays when you gotta wake up and do it all over again. Just remember, with their GMO technology, Zbiotics is continuing to invent probiotics that will help with everyday challenges of modern living. And just remember, make ZBiotics your first drink of the night. Drink responsibly and you'll feel your best tomorrow, not your worst like you usually do. Go to zbiotics.com last to learn more and get 15% off your first order when used last at checkout, Zebiotics is backed with 100% money back guarantee. Remember to head to ZBiotics.com last and use the code last to check out for 15% off Zebiotics. Every day's a miracle.
[23:30]
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[24:03]
Henry Zabowski
So let's go back to the story. So this guy, for the amount of energy he put into this, he probably could have done a lot, but it was pretty fucking. This guy really went for it. So he looked into what happens when you drown and what are the circumstances by which people drown in a lake and he Realized he's like, oh, I'm gonna do that. I got. I got an idea. I got a little idea. So he tended church with his family on the morning of August 11th to pray for death, though he had to. Well, he had to go. He had to go pretend to be.
[24:32]
Ed Larson
Yeah.
[24:32]
Henry Zabowski
You know, a father.
[24:33]
Ed Larson
Dear God, please let me get away.
[24:36]
Henry Zabowski
With faking my own death. Please let me just make me a bird so I can fly far, far away from here. And so he went, put his plan into motion that night, telling his family he's going on a solo kayaking trip. Trip. Because that's what fathers do. So he drove 50 miles from his home in Watertown to Green Lake. Right. So then he. He said he picked Green Lake because this is the.
[24:58]
Ed Larson
How.
[24:58]
Henry Zabowski
Reason much research he did was that it was the deepest lake in Wisconsin.
[25:02]
Ed Larson
Okay. That's a great reason.
[25:03]
Henry Zabowski
He knows what to do. So he paddles kayak to the middle of the lake. Brought a raft, flame to the raft. Gets out of the kayak, into the raft, overturns the kayak, sinks it, but puts it, like, knocks a hole in it, sinks into the bottom. He then paddles back to the shore in the raft. He dumps his cell phone in a tackle box with his license and all. I didn't know how he did this. Right in tackle box, dumps it back in the rig in the lake. He's then so afraid.
[25:26]
Ed Larson
So far so good.
[25:27]
Henry Zabowski
Absolutely. He's so afraid because now he's had to walk out of the lake and waist deep muck, that then he has to crawl on his belly and almost snow angel style, mix up all the mud.
[25:39]
Ed Larson
Well, yeah, because you can't have the footprints.
[25:40]
Henry Zabowski
None. So he then he had position. So before this, he had put an electronic bike in the woods on the other side of the lake.
[25:48]
Ed Larson
Yeah.
[25:48]
Henry Zabowski
And so he got his electronic bike covered in mud.
[25:51]
Ed Larson
Only in Wisconsin, that wouldn't get stolen.
[25:53]
Henry Zabowski
Dude goes, takes his bike 70 miles all night. He bikes all night to Madison. Then he caught a bus to Toronto.
[26:03]
Ed Larson
Doing it, baby.
[26:06]
Henry Zabowski
Coming.
[26:06]
Ed Larson
The bike's moving, moving, coming.
[26:09]
Henry Zabowski
Oolia.
[26:09]
Ed Larson
I'm coming.
[26:10]
Henry Zabowski
Olia. And so he. He goes. He gets on a bus to Toronto somehow. This is the power of Uzbekistan.
[26:20]
Ed Larson
Yeah.
[26:21]
Henry Zabowski
He talked his way through customs.
[26:24]
Ed Larson
I mean, it's easy to talk your way into Canada.
[26:25]
Henry Zabowski
But he.
[26:26]
Ed Larson
How.
[26:26]
Henry Zabowski
He had no passport. He had a driver's license. Hey, it's me.
[26:30]
Ed Larson
I'm good for it. Tim Hortons.
[26:32]
Henry Zabowski
And he's like, tim Hortons, you must be Canadian. Oh, you gotta be. And so He. I don't know how the he got through. I don't know how he did it.
[26:41]
Ed Larson
I mean, fire that guy.
[26:42]
Henry Zabowski
Dude. Well, it' I mean, you have to. I think that.
[26:46]
Ed Larson
Right.
[26:46]
Henry Zabowski
You ever seen the movie Greenland?
[26:48]
Ed Larson
No.
[26:49]
Henry Zabowski
The whole dumb ass movie.
[26:50]
Ed Larson
I like people tell me I look like Gerard Butler.
[26:53]
Henry Zabowski
Who blind people.
[27:01]
Ed Larson
Right in the side stories. Lpotlmail.com Let me know if I look like Gerard Butler.
[27:07]
Henry Zabowski
And so that movie.
[27:08]
Ed Larson
Hold on, let me give him a mean face.
[27:10]
Henry Zabowski
Whoa. Yeah. That is attractive. That is more. Yeah, sort of. Yeah. You look like if he was sick in a way. The president must be safe. I think that is if you. You're him in. The lighthouse has been exploded. They're coming. The next thing they're coming for. They're actually coming for the Space Needle. We've got to protect the Space Needle. That's my Gerard Butler. But that whole shit fuck movie is all about how like the world's ending. It's all this thing, but he somehow talks this, this. It's like the whole world stops to save this one white family.
[27:44]
Ed Larson
Oh, yeah.
[27:44]
Henry Zabowski
I mean, it's like the whole world has to revolve around Gerard.
[27:48]
Ed Larson
All these fucking movies.
[27:49]
Henry Zabowski
It's just like. Like what will happen to his son? I don't know, bro. 8 billion people are gonna fucking die. And then he takes it. He gets you spoiler. Sorry, guys. He gets. He convinces them to bring his son and he sneaks his son in realizing. But also the whole reason why they didn't want his son to come in is because. Because he had diabetes, he was going to die immediately because there was no medicine. So he just brought him to die.
[28:12]
Ed Larson
Yep, that's it. No medicine in Greenland.
[28:14]
Henry Zabowski
But that's what this guy did in Canada at the border, you know, he said there being like, I gotta get through there. You don't know what the fucking. You don't know what I gotta do, man. I gotta save Uzbekistan. All right. So then he flew to Paris. Romantic. And then he flew to an unspecified country in Asia and that's where this lucky lady picked him up. You know, apparently they spent a couple days in a hotel and then they took up in their. You know, everyone wants to go on a romantic, romantic vacation to the war torn country of Georgia.
[28:45]
Ed Larson
Yes.
[28:46]
Henry Zabowski
And so he went to Georgia, which is not. Y'all noticed too, in New York City, there's a lot of that now. People doing a lot of the Ukrainian food and the Georgian food.
[28:54]
Ed Larson
Yeah.
[28:54]
Henry Zabowski
And it is interesting. It is its own thing. But it's definitely weird. To see a bunch of like, hip, like, New York fashion people eat stuff like Grok.
[29:02]
Ed Larson
Yeah.
[29:03]
Henry Zabowski
You know, I mean, where it's just like potato beet stew.
[29:06]
Ed Larson
Yeah. Just like caviar and eel. Yeah.
[29:08]
Henry Zabowski
Yeah. It's like, very strange. But so he goes in Georgia and now this is when they started to realize. He realized his story went national. They, the investigators, they contacted board work through the information they found in a laptop he left behind, including a photo of the woman he traveled to meet. He told investigators he had to leave the laptop to make his death believable. But then he did leave too much money on it. But I will say good guy alert. Albert.
[29:33]
Ed Larson
What'd he do?
[29:33]
Henry Zabowski
He set up. Before he faked his own death, he set up a life insurance policy for $375,000 for his family. Okay, this is. Again, he's an. He's an idiot. This man is a criminal idiot.
[29:46]
Ed Larson
But at least he had half a conscience.
[29:49]
Henry Zabowski
He tried. He did.
[29:50]
Ed Larson
He is abandoning his family.
[29:51]
Henry Zabowski
This is so funny.
[29:52]
Ed Larson
He is abandoning. We will. I will say he's straight up abandoning his family. And that's his move. The low the bar is.
[29:57]
Henry Zabowski
Yeah, right. It's like he didn't kill him. All right. Which is, I think is really nice.
[30:02]
Ed Larson
We're proud of you.
[30:03]
Henry Zabowski
You're really proud.
[30:04]
Ed Larson
Proud of you.
[30:05]
Henry Zabowski
And so they said they look for his body for a month. Which is also. And this is really a story about depression too, because Borgwart, he even said.
[30:15]
Ed Larson
Fuck this guy's name.
[30:17]
Henry Zabowski
So funny. But he literally said, I didn't think they'd look for me that long.
[30:23]
Ed Larson
No, man. Nah.
[30:25]
Henry Zabowski
Sorry, bro. You matter.
[30:27]
Ed Larson
Accountable, bro.
[30:28]
Henry Zabowski
You're mattered to your family, dude. Sorry. That's a boner killer. I get it.
[30:32]
Ed Larson
Not even your family. You mattered to the government and the insurance company. You're trying. Trying to.
[30:36]
Henry Zabowski
Yes.
[30:37]
Ed Larson
Insurance company is gonna find your ass.
[30:40]
Henry Zabowski
Want to see your skeleton.
[30:42]
Ed Larson
They want to see if you know.
[30:44]
Henry Zabowski
Anything about insurance companies, buddy. If we've all learned something. That nothing matters unless you're a corpse to them. And so that's all they gave a shit. Dude. Again, this is a so funny, Eddie. It's literally another example. It's the health insurance is what got him.
[31:01]
Ed Larson
Yeah. The health insurance, the life insurance is what got him.
[31:04]
Henry Zabowski
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And so. So he is just. But he. He did try. He did try, but he's the. The worst part. Yeah. That it. It just didn't work out. And then I don't think it worked out with the girl.
[31:16]
Ed Larson
With. Oh, with her.
[31:17]
Henry Zabowski
I Think.
[31:17]
Ed Larson
I mean obviously it didn't he's back.
[31:19]
Henry Zabowski
Yeah.
[31:20]
Ed Larson
Because she probably took whatever money he had.
[31:22]
Henry Zabowski
And he said I'm very sorry. And he's apologized to his wife.
[31:26]
Ed Larson
He's lucky he fucking woke up with his organs.
[31:29]
Henry Zabowski
You know I just think sometimes you meet Uzbekistan scammer lady that probably looks very different in person.
[31:37]
Ed Larson
She deserves a raise.
[31:39]
Henry Zabowski
Whoa. She pulled an American.
[31:41]
Ed Larson
I was like that. I mean she mastermind this whole thing.
[31:45]
Henry Zabowski
You know. He shows up and she's got three other room like. You know like that's how it always is. There's like three. You ever see the story about the guy? It's a really up story about this young dude. Gifted kid. Forget what it was. It's just like he essentially gave all of his parents money to this only fans girls girl in Eastern Europe. And then when they cut him off he killed the whole family. Right. So he killed everybody because they cut off his money spigot to this only fans girl. And then it cuts to the video of him talking to this lady in Eastern Europe and him explaining about like he's crying about how he wishes that they could be together and stuff. And she goes oh sorry. You know like she doesn't give a. Like you're just guy nine that she has watched kill her family while she just bored hangs out in. In juicy cout like it's just so. It's just men are. It's rough out there for guys. This is. Oh yeah. The Grant Amato family annihilator. This guy. It's just I. I love it. I love our only fans ladies and just gotta know guys. You're paying for them to like you. All right. Just this is the whole thing is that they don't love you. I love you. I love us and I love the arrangement. But should remember.
[32:53]
Ed Larson
Yeah. Yeah. That's the thing with porn. Before only fans it was like there was a re you removed from the actual stars. Well it's both now like everyone like thinks they know and they're in these relationship parasocial people.
[33:06]
Henry Zabowski
Very dangerous for them. It's nice cuz it gives them a little bit more autonomy and they don't have to necessarily deal with predatory pornography companies. I feel it's great that it gives them a sense that sense of control. But then the problem is it's you and the customer.
[33:18]
Ed Larson
Yeah. Every time you're. You're giving like sexual relief to someone who's sexually oppressed. It's going to be a disaster at some point.
[33:26]
Henry Zabowski
That's why just make them Come real fast. Yeah, that's the whole idea. Make them get them out. Just get the first. We all know my first batch of devils that have to come out of me every day is necessary, Right. That first evil batch has to come out. Right. So that's what you got to do.
[33:42]
Ed Larson
You just squirt them out real fast.
[33:44]
Henry Zabowski
Then we can have a reasonable conversation.
[33:45]
Ed Larson
Yeah, all right. Absolutely.
[33:47]
Henry Zabowski
Let's get some new news.
[33:48]
Ed Larson
Well, yeah. Well, while we're on the topic of family annihilators, there's a quick one. I would. I might as well stick with it.
[33:53]
Henry Zabowski
Oh, wow.
[33:54]
Ed Larson
Great. Yeah.
[33:55]
Henry Zabowski
There is a 16 year old Christmas. Just like Christmas.
[34:01]
Ed Larson
Oh, man. Well, I'm sorry I giggled. A 16 year old boy murdered four family members in New Mexico this past weekend and he is charged with first degree murder.
[34:13]
Henry Zabowski
Did they deserve it?
[34:14]
Ed Larson
I don't. Doesn't seem like they did.
[34:17]
Henry Zabowski
They don't say that in the army.
[34:18]
Ed Larson
There's not enough journalistic integrity to say whether the family deserved it or not.
[34:23]
Henry Zabowski
Henry, this is what happens when AI writes everything.
[34:25]
Ed Larson
Yeah, yeah, yeah. So New Mexico State police announced that four bodies had been found in a Valencia county home on the previous day. Victims were fatally gunned down and the 16 year old boy has been arrested in connection to those deaths. Diego Leva, who informed a 911 dispatcher that he had recently killed his family.
[34:46]
Henry Zabowski
Hey, at least he's honest about it.
[34:47]
Ed Larson
Yeah, no, I mean he.
[34:49]
Henry Zabowski
I think it helps everybody get wrapped up quick.
[34:51]
Ed Larson
No, this is definitely wrapped up quick. When. When deputies arrived, Diego walked out of the. Of the Belain residence with his hands in the air and was extremely intoxicated. It said the police statement notes D.
[35:06]
Henry Zabowski
Do you think he did that?
[35:07]
Ed Larson
No.
[35:09]
Henry Zabowski
The second they were dead.
[35:11]
Ed Larson
Hold on, I got to hit my scene music before I come out. Yeah, no, they. But they took him into custody without. Without incident. And the authorities, when they entered the residence found a handgun on the kitchen table and four individuals dead. 42 year old Leonardo Lea, Adriana Benoma, 35, who is a local volunteer firefighter, and Adrian Lea and Alexander Lev, 16 and 14, were also found. I guess executed is the word.
[35:41]
Henry Zabowski
Funny story, Eddie.
[35:42]
Ed Larson
Yeah, well, it's not a funny story. I just feel like we have to. We talk about all family annihilations here on the show.
[35:48]
Henry Zabowski
We do. And there's been a bunch of them. You notice that they come in.
[35:50]
Ed Larson
It also was a 16 year old recently that we talked about that was in Seattle that killed his family.
[35:54]
Henry Zabowski
They come in waves right outside of Seattle and family annihilation also skyrockets during the holidays. Wonder why.
[35:59]
Ed Larson
Yes. But he was brought to the hospital till he sobered up and now is booked in Albuquerque's Juvenile justice center. More information is coming now.
[36:11]
Henry Zabowski
They immediately put him juvenile, I guess for 16. 16's kind of on the edge.
[36:15]
Ed Larson
I mean, well, 18's the limit, but normally 16.
[36:18]
Henry Zabowski
Sometimes they'll pop you right if you kill your family.
[36:21]
Ed Larson
Yeah, yeah, they put you right. But I mean, what is that really gonna make life better? Like, is it if you put this like 16 year old in the gen pop?
[36:28]
Henry Zabowski
No, it just makes him a worse criminal eventually.
[36:31]
Ed Larson
I mean. Eventually. Yeah, you just. I mean. Well, he's never getting him out. No, no, he's never getting out. By the way, Missouri, almost out of people to execute. Not nice.
[36:39]
Henry Zabowski
Whoa. We're getting to the bottom.
[36:40]
Ed Larson
Yeah.
[36:41]
Henry Zabowski
Yeah.
[36:41]
Ed Larson
There's only eight people left on death row in Missouri.
[36:44]
Henry Zabowski
You know, I feel like this might be controversial, but just get all the.
[36:48]
Ed Larson
Last of them in one go n.
[36:50]
Henry Zabowski
Blow them up, you know, I mean, just because it might be controversial, I don't know, is that controversial?
[36:55]
Ed Larson
You know, it might be a ha.
[37:02]
Henry Zabowski
Oh, I'm feeling evil today.
[37:04]
Ed Larson
Yeah.
[37:04]
Henry Zabowski
Apparently I don't believe in the death penalty and y'all know that.
[37:07]
Ed Larson
Yes. No, of course you all know that.
[37:08]
Henry Zabowski
The only people that should be killed are audiences. Yeah.
[37:11]
Ed Larson
He wants everyone released.
[37:14]
Henry Zabowski
No law, chaos, race. Yes, everybody. Rule of strength, rule of wits.
[37:20]
Ed Larson
How is your new antifa leadership going?
[37:24]
Henry Zabowski
Honestly, it's been really hard getting these guys to together because you know what it is about these zoomers is they don't show up on time.
[37:30]
Ed Larson
Yeah.
[37:31]
Henry Zabowski
And there's just revolution. Has just been difficult to get started.
[37:36]
Ed Larson
I joined Uncle Tifa.
[37:37]
Henry Zabowski
Oh, wow, good. We go after a bunch of nephews together. All right, this story. I want to talk about this story. This is pretty. This is frightening. This is the. This is the guy waiting.
[37:51]
Ed Larson
Oh, the Nebraska one.
[37:52]
Henry Zabowski
Yeah.
[37:52]
Ed Larson
This is weird. This is really cool. I actually have this one up too right now. Cuz this is. I blew my mind.
[37:57]
Henry Zabowski
This very strange. So this is Bennington, Nebraska. This is a weird mystery that's happening. It's. It's happening involving multiple drivers involved in three separate crashes on Highway 36 in Bennington. Say the same man was the first person to arrive at the crash site and offer help. So all of these strangers, all of the crashes involved the vehicles hitting an object that was put in the middle of the road straight up that was just in the road like a child's.
[38:26]
Ed Larson
Bicycle was one of them.
[38:27]
Henry Zabowski
Yes. And now we're wondering if they were put there on purpose. Purpose. So this guy, Garrison beach, he was cresting a hill while driving on Highway 36. He was in the dark. He swerved to avoid what looks like a large piece of metal in the middle of the roadway. And so what he did was he swung and he overcorrected getting around it, and his car went off the fucking bridge into a ravine. They were thankfully okay.
[38:51]
Ed Larson
Yeah.
[38:51]
Henry Zabowski
But he said that he noticed as they drove past the bridge, there was a man right before the bridge sitting in a car. Car with no headlights on. And then as they got up looking for help, he looked up and he saw the headlights turn on. And this guy gets out and he says, hey, you guys need any help?
[39:05]
Ed Larson
I called the paramedics.
[39:06]
Henry Zabowski
I called the paramedics. You guys need any help?
[39:08]
Ed Larson
You want to come wait in my car?
[39:10]
Henry Zabowski
And that was the thing. He said, come up in my car. Come my car. Come up in my car. Don't you want to come to my car? Right. It's cold out. It's cold. Yeah, you're cold. Shivering, huh? Covered in blood. I got napkins when it comes to my gun. And so they said, no, no, thanks. And he just apparently went like, all right. And went back to his car and then drove off.
[39:30]
Ed Larson
Yes.
[39:30]
Henry Zabowski
No, he. Yes, he did drove off.
[39:32]
Ed Larson
Yeah.
[39:32]
Henry Zabowski
Right. So startles they what happened? Right. So the next thing that happened was that a guy, Kyle Sorensen, he hits a bike that been left in the center, the same highway. It's like, look at my rear view mirror. This is according to Kyle Serra Brunson. I saw someone just sitting there north of. Just north of Pawnee Road. They pulled up behind me, and it was this individual saying he was checking to make sure I was okay. Seeing little damage to his vehicle, Kyle left. But later, near the same place along the highway, his wife spotted the same man behind another car that was just leaking oil on the side of the highway. Uh, in two weeks, according to Sorenson, this has been three incidents where he was immediately the first person on the scene. It seems strange now. The one thing that comes to my mind is. You remember the movie Crash?
[40:21]
Ed Larson
Must be shady as fuck.
[40:23]
Henry Zabowski
Yes.
[40:23]
Ed Larson
If, like all three times people in dire need crash in a ravine, and they're like, yeah, we're good.
[40:29]
Henry Zabowski
Thank you.
[40:29]
Ed Larson
I'll stay in. Cold.
[40:30]
Henry Zabowski
No, thanks. I like the pras, like branches. It's long legs. Just the guy going like, hi. What, you like to win My car? Yeah, it's nice. I got my dance in there, you know? Like. Yeah, you know, actually we're good. I actually, I like it out here where this object is burning.
[40:47]
Ed Larson
My car's so warm.
[40:48]
Henry Zabowski
Yeah, I bet it is. No, I like like the snow in my blood.
[40:52]
Ed Larson
Would you like to taste my knife?
[40:53]
Henry Zabowski
No.
[40:54]
Ed Larson
You know what?
[40:54]
Henry Zabowski
Honestly, normally I totally would. There's chocolate on my knife. Sorry. No, honestly, I'm totally busy.
[41:01]
Ed Larson
Special chocolate.
[41:02]
Henry Zabowski
Listen, I'm late to my KKK meeting. I can't do this. Like, get away from me, sir. But like these guys are. I don't know what's. This is a very creepy. It's just creepy because right now we don't know what it is. You ever see the movie Crash? Yes, but David Cronenberg, the awful.
[41:18]
Ed Larson
Oh no, no, no, no.
[41:19]
Henry Zabowski
Not the awful race matters 1. The one that see about people that get into car crashes on purpose to have sexual gratification they each other. I've heard of it.
[41:26]
Ed Larson
I've never watched it.
[41:27]
Henry Zabowski
It's weird. Yeah, you'd like it.
[41:29]
Ed Larson
Okay, sure.
[41:30]
Henry Zabowski
Do you like David?
[41:31]
Ed Larson
I love Gravy Corner.
[41:32]
Henry Zabowski
Then you'd like it. It's a bit. It's. It's dark, it's very. It's very up. You know what's really good is the book.
[41:38]
Ed Larson
Is that Lance Hendrickson?
[41:40]
Henry Zabowski
You said Lance Hendrickson?
[41:41]
Ed Larson
I don't know if it is. I'm in.
[41:43]
Henry Zabowski
Yeah, it might be. Yeah. He's sucking on her. Her wound or something. Yeah, yeah, different strokes. And so that, that. I wonder if that. Could he be sexually attracted to the cars? Could he be looking for broken parts from a car? Could they be like trying to go get help and he's trying to steal parts from the car? Or is he a rampant murderer? Serial killer? No, could be anything. That's just fun.
[42:05]
Ed Larson
It seems like a like aspiring murderer.
[42:08]
Henry Zabowski
Maybe he just likes crashes.
[42:09]
Ed Larson
He has a plan.
[42:10]
Henry Zabowski
He could be just kind of like.
[42:13]
Ed Larson
Or if he just like wants to be a hero.
[42:16]
Henry Zabowski
Yeah, there's plenty of those.
[42:16]
Ed Larson
People remember the. The firef to lit the Gatlinburg fire forever ago because they wanted to look like the heroes that put it out, but they just burnt down the whole side of the mountain.
[42:25]
Henry Zabowski
I wonder if that's what happened with Dick Van Dyke. Someone tried to kill him in Malibu.
[42:29]
Ed Larson
Someone tried to kill Dick Van Dyke?
[42:30]
Henry Zabowski
Well, they said his house got there was the Malibu fires and he almost died.
[42:33]
Ed Larson
Oh, no one's trying to kill Dick Van Dyke.
[42:35]
Henry Zabowski
We didn't know what he's done.
[42:37]
Ed Larson
Also by the way, if a chimney sweep can't get out of this thing.
[42:40]
Henry Zabowski
I Don't know who can. Dude, I saw the video and I was just like, I thought you chimp, chimney way out of here. I guess magic isn't real. I guess. No, he didn't. All right, so we got. All right, these are. These stories. So no, no, nobody. We don't know what's gonna happen. We're obviously. Maybe we'll get an update on these, but this is a very. It's just strange.
[42:59]
Ed Larson
And if you do listen and you are the person, stop putting in the road side stories.
[43:04]
Henry Zabowski
LPOTL gmail.com I got a bunch of ideas of what you could put in the road though.
[43:08]
Ed Larson
Yes. What would you put in the road? Weed.
[43:11]
Henry Zabowski
Oh, man, you can't waste that name. Yeah, well, can't waste that, man. That's God. God's gift. That's jar, dude. I can't give that up. No. I was watching a bunch of stuff on Rastas the other day.
[43:22]
Ed Larson
Oh, I love them.
[43:23]
Henry Zabowski
They're very interesting. Have you ever met.
[43:24]
Ed Larson
They were very, surprisingly violent.
[43:27]
Henry Zabowski
They're very intense. Very intense. And I was reading this one guy, he's been like. He's been working on his lock his whole life. But that weed that they're smoking in some of those roster communities, I feel like it would. He would hospitalize me. Well, like it's tar, right? Is it good weed?
[43:41]
Ed Larson
I am.
[43:42]
Henry Zabowski
Side stories. LPOTL gmail.com Do Rastafarin Smoke the best weed?
[43:46]
Ed Larson
No. I'm going to say no.
[43:48]
Henry Zabowski
I will find out.
[43:49]
Ed Larson
I think that they smoke what? Jamaican red.
[43:52]
Henry Zabowski
I also did not know that Rastafarianism was actually quite new.
[43:56]
Ed Larson
Yes, so was Jamaica.
[43:57]
Henry Zabowski
Yeah, well. Wow. Yeah, I learned a lot of stuff as a country.
[44:02]
Ed Larson
The. The land has always existed. At least for a couple billion years.
[44:06]
Henry Zabowski
Thank you, Mr. Scientist.
[44:08]
Ed Larson
No problem.
[44:08]
Henry Zabowski
Thank you. Oh, how far back do we have to go? No problem, doctor. Mr. John. All right.
[44:16]
Ed Larson
You don't want your geologist friend yelling at us again.
[44:19]
Henry Zabowski
No, Ellie, I'm sorry. If you ever worry about the safety of your home and family, there's no better time to act. Right now, Simplisafe is extending its massive Black Friday deal for our listeners and get 50% off a new Simplisafe security system. Simplisafe's active guard outdoor protection changes the game by preventing crime before it even happens. I wish, wish it could catch them at their house. Wouldn't that be cool if you could hit the button and Simplisafe just goes out to all the criminals homes and he arrests them before they do their crimes? Yeah, sure, I might be blamed, but the Dark Knight did it. They did it in the Dark Knight, and it was cool, all right? And they destroyed it because they knew in the end, it was too much power for men to have. But I could be trusted with it. Thankfully, Simply Safe, they don't do that. You're just a great company, right? And if somebody's lurking around, those agents are gonna see them in real time. They're gonna talk to them directly, and they're gonna go, pasta. Hey, you, get out of here. That's what they're gonna do. That's what I like about Simply Safe. As they do it the old New York way they go, hey, get out of here. What's dope? What's going Hanging out of my stove?
[45:30]
Ed Larson
Get out of here.
[45:31]
Henry Zabowski
Because that's what scares guys. The reason why I love Simplisafe is because how dedicated they've been to our safety and to America's safety and my personal happiness and the fact that I can call up the CEO of SimpliSafe sometimes just to help me go to sleep. And she or they or he, when they answer the phone, they always tell me the same old thing. Don't you worry, my little pet. You sleep. I get a criminal, and I say, thank you. Simply safe. Or more like or even dare she. Simply safe. Gracias. De nada. Simplisafe is extending its massive Black Friday deal for my listeners this week only. You can get 50% off any new system with a select professional monitoring plan. This is your last chance to claim their best offer of the year. Head to simplisafe.com lpotl that's simplisafe.com lpo otl there's no safe like a Simplisafe.
[46:31]
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[47:02]
Henry Zabowski
All right, it's a. Do you want to then talk about this next one?
[47:05]
Ed Larson
I don't know. Which one you're pointing at? Because I got the couple who's divorced 12 times.
[47:10]
Henry Zabowski
I got the whole one.
[47:11]
Ed Larson
Oh, I love the whole. Let's do holes.
[47:13]
Henry Zabowski
Let's just look at this real quick. We got a double up hole story for those of you who love using your two holes go. Today the whole A business is good.
[47:23]
Ed Larson
So if the whole business is catching people, definitely booming.
[47:31]
Henry Zabowski
Oh yes.
[47:32]
Ed Larson
So tell us about your person catching hole.
[47:34]
Henry Zabowski
It's a two year old fell into a septic tank. Oh. Now two fell into a deep daycare train trapped inside for an hour while teachers signed her out of class.
[47:43]
Ed Larson
I hate when kids are always playing.
[47:44]
Henry Zabowski
Shawshank came out through who came out clean on the other side. Now according to lawsuit, this girl identified only as A.B. he's a student at Children's Lighthouse Daycare in Prosper. This is a suburb of Dallas. I looked up Children's Lighthouse and they keep comparing themselves to Montessori schools.
[48:06]
Ed Larson
Right.
[48:07]
Henry Zabowski
Like I guess it was a Montessori school and it seems here like, you know. But one of the things it says, you know, says what Lighthouse has is a modern curriculum design based on current brain research versus the Montessori approach which is approach Rom 1906 to educate orphan children developing domestic skills. And then according here, the Lighthouse pathways, what they have is a 15 foot filled hole. A Montessori doesn't.
[48:30]
Ed Larson
Oh see they, they, I think they put the story in Montessori.
[48:34]
Henry Zabowski
Yeah.
[48:35]
Ed Larson
Sorry we dropped your kid in a puddle of.
[48:37]
Henry Zabowski
This is not a money. Montessori are actually innocent in this. They're innocent.
[48:41]
Ed Larson
Yes, yes. They, they put lids on their.
[48:44]
Henry Zabowski
They do. So on the afternoon November 1, the girl was out on the playground with the other children. She fell into a hole. The COVID which said danger, do not enter fatal poison gas.
[48:54]
Ed Larson
But 2 years old, can't read. Can't read.
[48:57]
Henry Zabowski
Sorry. Yeah, sorry about that. I guess he needed adults to do that for her.
[49:03]
Ed Larson
Yeah.
[49:03]
Henry Zabowski
So the COVID said danger, do not enter fatal poison gas. It flipped. Do they think that might have been flipped over or was replaced? Someone getting huffed but someone put a cap right on top of where the CH child was. Now defendants were responsible for ensuring the premises were safe, especially knowing full well the children's ages 2 to 6 were present and active on the premises. And at some point about 4pm the teacher took the children inside and unknowingly left a B inside the COVID hole to pay to fend, to quote unquote, fend for herself. Now one, he checked her out of the. I guess they now in School, what they do is, which I did not know. Talk about the. This is the.
[49:39]
Ed Larson
I, I.
[49:40]
Henry Zabowski
It's what a sad state we're in, which is at the beginning of every class. I believe now they have to online click in their attendance and that if you don't make a class, it then sends a notification to your parents. So what it'll do is that they click you in automatically. And so their parents got a message saying the girl had been checked out of their room in the middle of the day. And her father said, what was going on? Why wasn't she in there? And some person not named answered the phone. They believed. They think it was the owner, Angela Wolf. And she said, oh, that was a good glitch, kids. Definitely here. Gotta be here.
[50:14]
Ed Larson
Yeah.
[50:14]
Henry Zabowski
Um, and so the father had his wife head to the daycare to check on his daughter. And that's when they realized she was nowhere to be seen. And that. That's when they found her in what they're called a big, watery, swampy mess of fecal matter and all other kinds of things. Because she'd fallen into what they called a drain next to the splash pad. But the lawyers say it's a septic tank.
[50:36]
Ed Larson
Yeah.
[50:37]
Henry Zabowski
And so she was flopping around in there. She was cold to the touch, shivering. Her lips were blue, her fingernails were blue.
[50:43]
Ed Larson
Girl.
[50:44]
Henry Zabowski
Which is not. No one likes that. No one wants to turn into Veruca Salt. And the soul. The hole was filled with dirty cold water. But she said, take. Her employees were like, hey, she was only in there for five or ten minutes.
[50:55]
Ed Larson
Okay.
[50:56]
Henry Zabowski
That's what they're trying to say. We're like, yeah, she was in the septic tank, you know. Yeah, five minutes.
[51:02]
Ed Larson
Right.
[51:02]
Henry Zabowski
Anybody can do it. I'll go something tank for five minutes.
[51:04]
Ed Larson
Right. How much is this going to cost us?
[51:08]
Henry Zabowski
Further investigation revealed the girls trapped for probably closer to an hour. Yes. And they. Another student told the teacher responsible. Oh, yes. And the teacher just straight up took another child's word for it when the little. When her friend said her father had came and picked her up.
[51:23]
Ed Larson
Wow.
[51:23]
Henry Zabowski
Because the kid didn't know. And they said you could hear screaming coming from the pipe. But we should be so lucky because at least this little girl was found an hour later.
[51:34]
Ed Larson
Yes.
[51:34]
Henry Zabowski
Because she's not dookie. They realized she wasn't a dookie. This school's gonna be over.
[51:39]
Ed Larson
Oh, yeah. No, they, I mean, it's.
[51:42]
Henry Zabowski
I mean, Texas.
[51:43]
Ed Larson
It's a daycare.
[51:44]
Henry Zabowski
Yeah, it's Texas, so they don't care.
[51:45]
Ed Larson
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[51:46]
Henry Zabowski
So we'll see. And. But she is technically the lucky one.
[51:50]
Ed Larson
Yes. Because in Calgary a man spent three days stuck in a well.
[51:56]
Henry Zabowski
Stuck in a well.
[51:57]
Ed Larson
Stuck. It fell down a well.
[51:59]
Henry Zabowski
And why, Eddie? Why was he stuck in this well?
[52:02]
Ed Larson
22 year old man stuck at the bottom of a 12 meter deep well. 36ft. That's the. All right.
[52:09]
Henry Zabowski
That's so deep. That is a long.
[52:11]
Ed Larson
It's a big old. And he's down there and he's screaming like help, help. I'm stuck in the well. Get me out of the well. And you know why people didn't help him even though they heard it? They thought he was a ghost, dude. They just start like, they're like, they wouldn't even think. Entertain the option. Caught in the well.
[52:32]
Henry Zabowski
Don't go anywhere near there, man. All right. Don't go near that hole, man.
[52:36]
Ed Larson
That's.
[52:36]
Henry Zabowski
You know where that is. Dude, ghosts are always trying to yell you into a hole, man. Don't go anywhere near. You know ghosts, dude. All they want is company. That's all they want to do. They just want roommates, man.
[52:46]
Ed Larson
Lou Chuni, a young Chinese national was doing the forest on the border between Thailand and Myanmar. Oh, so this wasn't in California. Calgary. It was just coming from. This is a Calgary news site. But between Thailand and Myanmar somehow fell into an abandoned well on the outskirts of a small village. They said he was trekking through the woods when he found. When he fell into the 12 meter deep hole, sustaining serious injuries.
[53:16]
Henry Zabowski
I'm not a ghost.
[53:19]
Ed Larson
A fractured wrist, a cerebral concussion. And he started to yell for help as loudly as he could. But hours passed, days passed.
[53:27]
Henry Zabowski
Oh yeah, he was running out of energy and he said he was like, I need to conserve my energy. So he was like, once an hour I'll yell for help.
[53:35]
Ed Larson
Yeah.
[53:35]
Henry Zabowski
And so he waits. And then it was like once every five hours. He's like, I'll yell for help now. Meanwhile, like all his help nearby villagers.
[53:43]
Ed Larson
Stayed away because they were afraid of being attacked by spirits.
[53:48]
Henry Zabowski
Now imagine if it's like you get.
[53:51]
Ed Larson
That's the reason you're like, everybody, everyone heard me.
[53:55]
Henry Zabowski
Oh yeah, dude. And they all. And first I got to be like, oh my God, that's the most solid ghost I've ever seen.
[54:02]
Ed Larson
Yeah. You would be excited to see a ghost. Of course.
[54:07]
Henry Zabowski
Oh, hey there, ghost. I'd say hello to the ghost. And then he's not a ghost. But I. It's also like, what if they just started filling it in?
[54:14]
Ed Larson
Oh no.
[54:15]
Henry Zabowski
Can you like, I'm not a ghost.
[54:17]
Ed Larson
Oh.
[54:17]
Henry Zabowski
That's what a ghost would say.
[54:19]
Ed Larson
Oh. It only took 30 minutes for him to get out of. Of the well. But he was very emancipated because he emaciated.
[54:26]
Henry Zabowski
He was emancipated from the well?
[54:27]
Ed Larson
Yes, yes, yes. But he. Three days without food and water. Well, if there's no water.
[54:36]
Henry Zabowski
So. Absolutely. And that's really good way. Now, what's nice about the mother of that child is that what they can do from then on. The one that got caught in the septic tank, you were like, well, some people in Thailand get caught in a well for three days.
[54:48]
Ed Larson
Yeah. You were just in a pile of shit for an hour.
[54:50]
Henry Zabowski
I was just been around my mom for so long because that's how you turn a tragedy into. Somebody has done something wrong. It's called the New York mother's mindset. Oh, I'll show you. Oh, whoa. Mr. Fell in a well. Oh, I was in a well for seven days and I had nothing. I did have my blood pressure medication. I didn't have my embroidery. What did you do? All right, I was raped by a mayor. I know. He's a. What am I supposed to do, huh? Oh, miss, I was in a whale for an hour. Oh, miss. Oh, I was, I was cold. I was covered in.
[55:30]
Ed Larson
I don't know why that made me laugh. The. All right. A couple who was Married and divorced 12 times in 43 years are investigated for fraud.
[55:41]
Henry Zabowski
This is. They found. This is love.
[55:43]
Ed Larson
Is. Is, is a. Is this, this is true love. And these, this Austrian couple found a crazy ass loophole to. I don't know how much I, how much I agree or disagree with this. Let's talk about it.
[55:56]
Henry Zabowski
Yeah. What is the loophole?
[55:57]
Ed Larson
All right, so Vienna, Austria, these people were divorced 12 times in a period of 43 years. The truth is, the elderly couple is suspected of having arranged every divorce strictly on paper, so the wife could receive €7,27,000 severance pay she was awarded after her first husband's death in 1981. See, in Austria, like, if your husband dies and you're a widow, they give you a payout every three years.
[56:26]
Henry Zabowski
Whoa.
[56:27]
Ed Larson
It's like a nice thing.
[56:28]
Henry Zabowski
That is nice. It's called what. That's a liberal country.
[56:31]
Ed Larson
Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's, it's. But when she got married again, every time that this three years was about to come up, her and her husband, who everyone knew and loved and knew them as a couple, they would secretly get divorced on paper, collect the money, and then get remarried right Afterwards.
[56:49]
Henry Zabowski
Honestly, this is so romantic. Yes, that like it's just not only it's. It's so nice because you get the. What's this? But you get the other weddings. You get to do it and you're celebrating your love. This must be like also think about as a marriage if like of all of my other marrieds out there, you're trying to kind of figure out, right. Like what do we do together sometimes like what's happen we could do together and like insurance fraud.
[57:13]
Ed Larson
Yeah.
[57:13]
Henry Zabowski
That's a lot.
[57:14]
Ed Larson
That's a lot of work. I mean, this is what. Why 13 is an unlucky number because this is how many times they had to do it till they finally got caught.
[57:22]
Henry Zabowski
Well, they're both old now too, right? Oh, yeah.
[57:24]
Ed Larson
No, absolutely.
[57:25]
Henry Zabowski
I mean, they really going to arrest these guys. They already made a whole career out of it.
[57:29]
Ed Larson
They are figuring it out. But it seems to me like what they did was legal.
[57:35]
Henry Zabowski
Well, yeah, it's a loophole.
[57:37]
Ed Larson
It's a loophole.
[57:37]
Henry Zabowski
But it's like getting. It's like getting in your butt so you can keep your virginity.
[57:43]
Ed Larson
Yes, I guess. Yeah. Henry, it's exactly the same. But they. No but yeah. So they're trying to charge him with fraud and they are in trouble. But in my opinion, it's not fraud. Now they're changing the laws so you can't do this anymore.
[58:00]
Henry Zabowski
That's the thing. That's the reason why they have the warnings and the changes that they do. You know, I mean, like, that's why every single, like how many stupid. How many stupid warnings you see, like you see on a hair dryer or just don't use in bath, you know, I mean, because it's happened so many times that people died doing something stupid that eventually you have to do it. Like these are why there are loopholes.
[58:22]
Ed Larson
Yeah.
[58:22]
Henry Zabowski
And then they got to try to get them.
[58:24]
Ed Larson
Well, the investigation revealing that what their case is. They're saying they never moved. They always shared the same household cooked together and even shared the same bed the whole time. And they have proof of it. So they're saying that they never actually got divorced.
[58:40]
Henry Zabowski
So cute.
[58:42]
Ed Larson
It's very cute.
[58:43]
Henry Zabowski
That's so. That's true love. Can you imagine that? Because also, like, it's kind of sexy, right? Like you just got fake divorce from your wife who you're still in love with.
[58:51]
Ed Larson
I mean, it's really not that much money. It's 30,000. It's $10,000 a year.
[58:55]
Henry Zabowski
I mean, you know, it's good. It's Good money to be paid to love.
[58:58]
Ed Larson
Yeah.
[58:59]
Henry Zabowski
You know, that's enough. You know, Think about that. Think how sexy that is. It's a nice. You're fake divorced for a little while. And so it's like, then you can kind of cheat on each other. With each other.
[59:09]
Ed Larson
Yeah.
[59:09]
Henry Zabowski
And then you can kind of do the thing. We're like, oh, well, I'm single. Or like, oh, we're divorced, we shouldn't do this. Like, that's awesome. Right? That's hot.
[59:15]
Ed Larson
They received.
[59:16]
Henry Zabowski
And they must look like a little sausages. They're from Vienna.
[59:18]
Ed Larson
$341,000 in severance payments over 43 years.
[59:23]
Henry Zabowski
You know, the government. It's just government money was going to be spent anyway. Yeah, right. I mean, I don't really see the victim here. I don't know where the victim is. That's the reason why I'm saying it so lightly.
[59:32]
Ed Larson
I mean, well, the victim is the government system that. This nice system that they put in place to help people.
[59:39]
Henry Zabowski
But it's why we can't have nice things.
[59:40]
Ed Larson
Yeah, yeah, yeah. But the thing is, you know, when it comes, I look at this like, when I look at people like, oh, the welfare. They're taking advantage of the welfare. It's like, yes, there are people who take advantage of it, but that number is so small. Yes. We gotta take away it for everybody now.
[59:54]
Henry Zabowski
Also, the money was already gone. Yeah, it's already gone. It's already spent. If you can figure out a way to get free money from the government, I applaud you.
[60:03]
Ed Larson
Yes.
[60:04]
Henry Zabowski
One of those. It's difficult to do a lot of times. It's its own job.
[60:09]
Ed Larson
Yes. So their 12th divorce was not recognized by the Austrian authorities, and the couple will face the accusations together.
[60:16]
Henry Zabowski
Well, that again. And is there anything hotter than that? Having to go to court together and they should be kissed and making. That's what I would do. Be like the new Bunny and Kai.
[60:25]
Ed Larson
Oh, yeah.
[60:26]
Henry Zabowski
And then go in there and they just for like, she'll flash the police and be like, you only see these one time. And then like, he comes out and he's like, that's my wife. And they have to fight. They have to fight to keep each other apart every single time. They're always making up. Every time they can, they run to each other. The police have to stop them, pull them apart as they're making out with each other, being like, I'll always love you. I've divorced you 12 times and I'll divorce you again.
[60:50]
Ed Larson
You're Hitler's niece. I know who you are. This article comes to us from OD central. Wonderful website. And then below the article is this pregnant dog refuses to give birth. I don't know.
[61:08]
Henry Zabowski
You're just so weird. Why are you just looking at just a big pregnant dog? Why do they have that at the bottom of this article? That's very strange. AI is bad for everyone. Oh God. I think it's time for some listener emails.
[61:21]
Ed Larson
Oh right, we had listeners email us.
[61:24]
Henry Zabowski
I do too. Now this one I love because I talked about this. I paraphrased this, but I want to show people that this is real. Okay, I got this email. I wanted to share what we have had to have an impromptu school assembly about. For context. I'm an art teacher at an elementary school somewhere in Ohio. Recently, third graders were caught playing diddy tag.
[61:46]
Ed Larson
Oh God.
[61:47]
Henry Zabowski
Diddy tag is like normal tag except you have to hump the tagger to get untagged.
[61:53]
Ed Larson
Not laughing.
[61:54]
Henry Zabowski
No, no, it's funny. It is objectively funny. This was the breaking point for our overworked principal to call in all of. All of second to fifth grade into the gym to subsequently ban all things related to P. Diddy. Before this, students would casually say no diddy in response to things they considered sus. They would be free. There would be free diddy chants, references to freak offs and baby oil. So many more. It was honestly scary how much these kids knew in reference to Sean Combs. Thankfully the diddy references have subsided but I can only imagine what the new thing will be when we are back from winter break. And so I just think that's the kids are kids are unbeaten. Oh yeah, you know, I mean they are undefeated.
[62:39]
Ed Larson
Kids just mo problems.
[62:42]
Henry Zabowski
Tell me about a friend. Tell me about it. I don't know where to park my Bentley on top of my other Bentley.
[62:49]
Ed Larson
Come on.
[62:49]
Henry Zabowski
What am I? I got all day to think about where I'm parking my nine.
[62:55]
Ed Larson
Henry, use your dental dam please.
[62:56]
Henry Zabowski
I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Was helps you calm down.
[63:02]
Ed Larson
This is why you have to check out the videos.
[63:04]
Henry Zabowski
You really do. Cuz you don't know what I'm doing. Otherwise.
[63:10]
Ed Larson
The dental dam is going to be your new pan fruit.
[63:12]
Henry Zabowski
I love my pan. I love my dental dam, man. Anytime, any, anytime I feel it coming on, coming.
[63:16]
Ed Larson
You're going to be chewing, chewing on it.
[63:21]
Henry Zabowski
Six or seven of these this morning. It's like me and Marcus has got his pile of chewed up nicotine gun. I saw him take a chewed. He had a piece in his mouth. He took one out he had a pre chewed one on the. And he stuck an old one back in his mouth.
[63:35]
Ed Larson
You don't have to re chew the gum.
[63:37]
Henry Zabowski
It's just like there's some more in there.
[63:39]
Ed Larson
There's more in the pack. There's more in the pack too.
[63:43]
Henry Zabowski
You do it. You get between him and his gum.
[63:46]
Ed Larson
I'm not getting between him and his gum. I'm saying just don't chew the gum that's already chewed.
[63:51]
Henry Zabowski
Dare you to try to keep the gun gum from his mouth.
[63:57]
Ed Larson
I mean, I think I can really speak to him because if you. You know that half my family is Jewish.
[64:04]
Henry Zabowski
I'll allow it. That's funny.
[64:07]
Ed Larson
That's you piece of shit.
[64:11]
Henry Zabowski
All right, one more listener email.
[64:12]
Ed Larson
One more listener email.
[64:14]
Henry Zabowski
I've been debating on sending this email for a few years now. The first ever episode of last podcast that blessed my ears was episode 426, the Dangerous UFOs of Brazil. And I immediately felt right at home.
[64:25]
Ed Larson
Oh, when they were straight up attacked people. Yes.
[64:28]
Henry Zabowski
Yeah, but to get to the point to make it not a. Did not make a long story short, I saw some weird shit in the sky. This is around 2014 and. But. But fucking Egypt, southern Indiana.
[64:42]
Ed Larson
That's two different places.
[64:43]
Henry Zabowski
BFA. You know, I was 1920 and stole.
[64:47]
Ed Larson
How do you think Egypt feels about the fact that everyone says they're butt fucking?
[64:54]
Henry Zabowski
I think that hopefully they're blissfully unaware. But if you do tell them, they will ask you for $100.
[64:59]
Ed Larson
Excuse me, is this but Egypt?
[65:02]
Henry Zabowski
Actually, yes. Welcome to But Fu King. Ah, yes. The home of my grandfather. Spot Fuking. Yes, the most distant part of Egypt.
[65:12]
Ed Larson
This is my friend King But.
[65:14]
Henry Zabowski
Yes, I was born with two asses. At least that's what I said because I'm a lady. All right, so this is.
[65:24]
Ed Larson
I don't know. Sorry. I'm sorry.
[65:25]
Henry Zabowski
You did this to me. I was 1920 and I stole about five Miller Lights out of my dad's fridge and headed to a friend's house to be young and dumb. Absolutely. Absolutely. She happened to live quite far away from me, right out of town. So I was on a rural highway in my way to some crusty back roads. There's nothing there. And the one business that was probably more than 5 miles but less than 10 miles away from her house was a log yard. That helps you picture the nothingness that is this area where this happened.
[65:52]
Ed Larson
Speaking of butt Egypt going to the log yard.
[65:55]
Henry Zabowski
Tell me about it. You just left the log yard in the downstairs bathroom. That's our Solid. Yes, I was probably a good 10 minutes away from her house and speeding so that my beers wouldn't get warm. And yes, I was sober. But he is.
[66:09]
Ed Larson
Excuse me, officer. My beers are getting warm.
[66:12]
Henry Zabowski
Listen, I'm sober as hell, June. Don't you want me drunk? There was an older truck that I got caught up with and they were driving an excruciatingly slow pace. After I got maybe a little too close, they started to speed up dramatically. So I sped up as well. And as soon as the next curve in the road approached, I noticed a light in the air. At first I thought it was a street light. It was close to that level and thought that was strange considering there are none on this particular stretch of road. But then immediately when I looked right at it, there were four lights horizontally on one object that appeared to just be hovering above a tree. I immediately slammed my brakes. The truck in front of me swerved but kept going and I just sat in the middle of the road, unable to move or think or breathe. There were no sounds or movements and I was paralyzed. What seemed like an eternal eternity. Classic no thought head, empty moment. While in the state, still not comprehending what I see the object, I now figured out what they mean by cigar shape. Move from a horizontal position to a completely vertical one. No movement forward or backward or up or down. And still no sound. It stayed like that for a moment, then started to move forward along a tree line. Still completely vertical is a very wooded area. You'd have to only be a few feet above the trees. It disappeared. So I drove up to the point where I would have been directly under it to try to see where it had gone. There was nothing. No movement in sight. I waited and kept inching forward to see if I could see it anywhere. And after a few minutes and realizing how identified this thing really was, I drove away quickly. I started shaking and crying full on. Hyperventilated to the point where I had to pull over. I called my friend who was on my way to see and I choked up the experience through sobs. She screamed no, don't tell me that shit. I just saw a military plane fly over the house five minutes ago. And then she made me promise not to talk talk about it. She was equally spooked and I always got the vibe she saw more than a military plane. I told my dad the next day and he laughed at me. I have always been on the fence about telling other people because them genuinely think that you're crazy, which maybe I am, but not that kind of crazy. They're saying that the. They were terrified. Right. I spoke to a friend who's an engineer and he was. He said it might be just a drone. So research as much as I could about drones and types of drones and military planes and drones, and I couldn't find anything even remotely resembling what I saw. Along with the fact that there was absolutely no sound that made me feel sure that I definitely saw something I wasn't supposed to see. Whether it was advanced top secret military technology or extraterrestrials, it wasn't meant for me to see. And one of the most perplexing things about it to me, which is why it was. Why was it in this area, the few people who live close by or a mix of simple country folks and weirdos who do meth. There are really very few small little farms, but nothing else at all. With everything going on currently, it kind of feels like validation to me. And I wanted to share my experience. I do believe that. And that's what they say here. And I like the sentiment. They end with whatever theory you believe. There's just so much that we don't know. And it really feels like something is happening right now where we may just find out some of those things. I really hope we do. But that fear unsettling feeling of not knowing what is out there is very haunting, which is why we're at. Where we're at is that again, it's not the. It's aliens, they're coming to kill us. Or it's Iranians coming to kill us or Russians coming to kill us. I mean it's not Chinese people coming to kill us. It's more of the. It's the non answer in the vacuum that it leads and what is. And it leads to people conjecturing and getting scared. And at this point, they are just too much of the government. Meaning they are. And they don't want to put. They want to make it solid. They don't want to make it solid. And they won't.
[69:40]
Ed Larson
They know. They have to know what it is.
[69:42]
Henry Zabowski
It just heads into. If we're just heading into a phantom zone, everybody, yeah. Just know that. Where we're not going to know a heck of a lot of what is real and what is not real.
[69:49]
Ed Larson
Do old UFO sightings still matter? Matter?
[69:53]
Henry Zabowski
Yes.
[69:53]
Ed Larson
Yeah.
[69:54]
Henry Zabowski
Yeah, I do. I think so. Yes.
[69:55]
Ed Larson
You think so.
[69:56]
Henry Zabowski
I think that whatever we're looking at is. It's all. It's mysterious and it's everything. It's all of it, every single bit of it.
[70:04]
Ed Larson
And you have still seen Nothing.
[70:07]
Henry Zabowski
Zero. Personally, I've seen videos.
[70:09]
Ed Larson
You've seen videos?
[70:10]
Henry Zabowski
You've seen them?
[70:11]
Ed Larson
I've seen the videos that you see.
[70:12]
Henry Zabowski
Yeah. So I live every day knowing that one day I will seen something. And when I do, I will not. I'm not say anything.
[70:18]
Ed Larson
Did you see the one?
[70:19]
Henry Zabowski
Because I'm gonna love holding my secret to myself. I'm gonna love know the fact that I know that aliens exist myself and no one else will. And I laughed myself. Every once in a while I'll just laugh knowing that I know the truth and everybody else is sucking a big fat egg.
[70:33]
Ed Larson
Did you see the one with the orb shooting down the drone?
[70:36]
Henry Zabowski
I did.
[70:37]
Ed Larson
What do you. What do you think about that?
[70:38]
Henry Zabowski
Nothing, Eddie. It was nothing.
[70:39]
Ed Larson
Okay, cool.
[70:40]
Henry Zabowski
It must have been something stupid that we are stupid about.
[70:43]
Ed Larson
I love being stupid.
[70:44]
Henry Zabowski
Yep, you are.
[70:44]
Ed Larson
It's very helpful.
[70:45]
Henry Zabowski
I'm stupid too.
[70:46]
Ed Larson
Oh, my God.
[70:47]
Henry Zabowski
We don't know what it is because you look at it. But I'll tell you what, it's not something important because we haven't heard about it.
[70:53]
Ed Larson
Amen.
[70:54]
Henry Zabowski
You know, And I think that's important to remember. Yeah.
[70:56]
Ed Larson
It hasn't killed anybody.
[70:58]
Henry Zabowski
It hasn't killed anybody. And that's the bar. That's the bar we set for the man.
[71:02]
Ed Larson
Yeah.
[71:02]
Henry Zabowski
That went to Uzbekistan. And we have to set that same bar for the government. At least they're not shooting us with it. Yeah, they might.
[71:09]
Ed Larson
Who knows?
[71:10]
Henry Zabowski
But we don't know. We're not there yet.
[71:11]
Ed Larson
Not there.
[71:12]
Henry Zabowski
We will not die a thousand deaths until the day comes when we die though, one big death.
[71:18]
Ed Larson
Oh, yeah. Getting one of those War of the Worlds nets underneath, like the testicles. Like when they, like, remember when the big robots and War of the Worlds, they had those scrotums and they like, they held everyone in the scrotums and. And all that stuff and they had to like, cut out of it like it was.
[71:31]
Henry Zabowski
We're all gonna be inside a sack of balls.
[71:33]
Ed Larson
Hell yeah, man.
[71:34]
Henry Zabowski
I can't wait that go to patreon.com last podcast and give us money while the world still exists. Oh, yeah, because money's not gonna matter for way too much longer, but we'll take it. And then you go to last podcastle.com buy our live tickets. You are going to like our live show. It is fun as. Yes, we are better than ever. Our live show is great.
[71:52]
Ed Larson
It's really. It's on fire right now. New York was nuts. Two thousand people came to that show.
[71:58]
Henry Zabowski
That was crazy.
[71:58]
Ed Larson
It was wild. And Atlanta is going to be crazy. All the shows next year are going to be nuts. I'm excited to go to Dallas. I've never been to Dallas my whole life. I've never been to Atlanta my whole life.
[72:06]
Henry Zabowski
Deep Ellum is wonderful. We're going to eat at Kimble House. I also was. There was another one. One of the restaurant I got that just closed.
[72:13]
Ed Larson
Yeah.
[72:13]
Henry Zabowski
Which is pretty great. I can't. I'm gonna whine and dine your ass.
[72:17]
Ed Larson
I can't wait, man. Yeah, I'm definitely gonna go in early.
[72:19]
Henry Zabowski
Slap you in.
[72:20]
Ed Larson
You can feed me.
[72:21]
Henry Zabowski
Slap you out. We're gonna go to Homegrown, man. Ever been a homegrown? No. You've been in Atlanta?
[72:25]
Ed Larson
No, I've.
[72:26]
Henry Zabowski
I've Only Grown is the best breakfast in the country.
[72:29]
Ed Larson
Only thing I did in Atlanta was cocaine during a Tom Petty concert.
[72:33]
Henry Zabowski
Well, we're not going to be doing any cocaine, Eddie.
[72:35]
Ed Larson
Certainly not at a Tom Petty concert.
[72:36]
Henry Zabowski
No. Because we'd have to do that in heaven, which we will do. Because that's when that. That's when cocaine is in heaven. Because I don't trust it here on earth. Because, you know, Jesus is holding that. Good. Thank you, Jesus. Don't make me constipated. Yeah, we gotta. Oh, and check out LPN Funhouse.
[72:57]
Ed Larson
Oh, yes. LPN Funhouse. This weekend is going to be amazing.
[73:02]
Henry Zabowski
Thursday, Twitch TV tomorrow, slash. LPN tv. I don't know what the. Is going to happen. We're on it.
[73:08]
Ed Larson
No, we've agreed to be there. And I'm very nervous, to be honest with you. This is Holden and Jackie's baby.
[73:15]
Henry Zabowski
And I ain't doing pain.
[73:17]
Ed Larson
No, I'm not doing pain.
[73:18]
Henry Zabowski
That's the only thing I'm not doing. It's not getting shot.
[73:20]
Ed Larson
Put me in a situation where I gotta look like a. And say no. I will look like a and say no.
[73:27]
Henry Zabowski
Yeah, you are going to.
[73:28]
Ed Larson
Yeah.
[73:28]
Henry Zabowski
And we are going to break the improv rules. And I'm saying you're not going to shock me.
[73:32]
Ed Larson
Yeah.
[73:33]
Henry Zabowski
You're not hitting me with that taser.
[73:34]
Ed Larson
Yeah. I don't stand until. You don't have to anymore. But.
[73:40]
Henry Zabowski
But I'll do whatever else is in their crooked little minds. The LPN Funhouse is going to be a blast to come. Check it out. It is, I believe.
[73:47]
Ed Larson
Yeah.
[73:47]
Henry Zabowski
What time is it? And we're.
[73:48]
Ed Larson
We're not raising money for anybody, right?
[73:50]
Henry Zabowski
Nothing.
[73:51]
Ed Larson
Thank God.
[73:51]
Henry Zabowski
5:00Pm PST. PM PST. It starts on the Twitch and we are going to get again.
[73:57]
Ed Larson
You might.
[73:57]
Henry Zabowski
I think they might be given to charity. We're trying to figure out something. I don't know what we're doing because I don't know if we're making money on it.
[74:01]
Ed Larson
I think it's. It's good to do something not for charity. Hey, good old money maker we need.
[74:14]
Henry Zabowski
But, hey, it'll go to your Christmas bonuses.
[74:17]
Ed Larson
Yeah. Is that happening? You're giving away bonuses?
[74:21]
Henry Zabowski
Not you.
[74:21]
Ed Larson
Oh.
[74:25]
Henry Zabowski
All right. See you in hell. Hail Satan. See you next week. See you after the break. Next week we'll be gone, but we'll be back.
[74:31]
Ed Larson
There'll be. There'll be a show that comes out on Christmas.
[74:33]
Henry Zabowski
There'll be an episode.
[74:34]
Ed Larson
Yes.
[74:34]
Henry Zabowski
Oh, yes. There will be an episode on Christmas. Yeah. And then there will be an episode, and then we're coming back, so we'll be back.
[74:39]
Ed Larson
Yeah.
[74:39]
Henry Zabowski
All right. So it's like we're not gone.
[74:41]
Ed Larson
Yeah.
[74:41]
Henry Zabowski
Never mind.
[74:41]
Ed Larson
Well, we might be a day late.
[74:44]
Henry Zabowski
No, no, no.
[74:46]
Ed Larson
Okay.
[74:47]
Henry Zabowski
The day will arrive and the show will come out. Producer Hitler. Hail Satan, everyone.
[74:57]
Ed Larson
Hail the aliens.
[74:58]
Henry Zabowski
Don't kill your family. Family this Christmas.
[75:00]
Ed Larson
No, please don't. And if you do, make sure it's an accident.
[75:03]
Henry Zabowski
Leave. Just leave.
[75:05]
Ed Larson
Yeah. Or go down with the ship, really.
[75:08]
Henry Zabowski
Like, spend some time with that lady first.
[75:11]
Ed Larson
Really Just almost out of the show without, like, getting ourselves in trouble.
[75:16]
Henry Zabowski
So close.
[75:17]
Ed Larson
Yeah. Don't kill your family.