Side Stories: Sandwich Stories

Wed Sep 24 2025

Henry & Eddie bring you this week's biggest stories and true crime news - a mysterious statue of Trump & Epstein holding hands is erected in Washington DC, Singer D4vid finally cancels tourdates in the midst of possible murder investigation, the boys take a page-by-page look at the cryptic scientific jokes scattered throughout the Epstein Birthday Book, Copenhagen Airports shut down due to massive mystery drone, Flames erupt over Mayonaisse in a Spanish Cafe , another Joe Exotic co-hort mauled to death by caged wild animal, Animals & Veterinary workers rushed to hospital after FBI uses furnace to burn seized meth, Listener E-Mails, and MORE!

Transcript

Narrator/Announcer (0:00)

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Henry Zebrowski (0:27)

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Ed Larson (0:55)

New customer offer first three months only.

Henry Zebrowski (0:56)

Then full price plan options available, Taxes and fees extra.

Ed Larson (0:58)

See mintmobile.com there's no place to escape to. This is the last on the left side stories.

Henry Zebrowski (1:08)

That's when the cannibalism started. Side stories. Yes. We're cooking, guys.

Ed Larson (1:20)

Yeah, we are. Weed, weed, weed, weed, weed, weed, weed, weed, weed. Smoke that weed.

Henry Zebrowski (1:26)

Bring me weed.

Ed Larson (1:27)

Bring me weed.

Henry Zebrowski (1:28)

Honestly, bring me weed. We went to great shows this weekend. Oh, yeah, truly so much fun this weekend, kc. We had fun in Kansas City. We had a blast in St. Paul. First thing I want to say at the very top of the show is that Eddie and I, we were so funny in Kansas City. Eddie. And one of the funny things that we said in Kansas City was we were like, man, this town, Kansas City used to be for real. Kansas City used to be a place and you'd get shot in the head. And now you guys got that Taylor Swift money. You guys are getting so clean, so nice.

Ed Larson (2:03)

Nothing bad ever happens in Kansas City.

Henry Zebrowski (2:07)

And I just want to say I'm sorry to everybody that was in our crowd. If you were a member of the six people that Heather cars smashed into during the middle of the show, I just want to say, while we're literally.

Summary

Last Podcast on the Left – Side Stories: Sandwich Stories

Date: September 24, 2025
Hosts: Henry Zebrowski & Ed Larson

Episode Overview

"Side Stories: Sandwich Stories" is a freewheeling, darkly humorous journey through recent news and personal anecdotes, reflecting the show’s signature mix of true crime, the bizarre, and caustic social commentary. Henry and Ed riff through everything from updates in the Jeffrey Epstein saga, football helmet debates, and UFO sightings in Denmark, to a sandwich shop arson over missing mayo, culminating, fittingly, in haunted house tales and listener letters. The episode oscillates between heavy news, absurdity, and cathartic banter—delivering both laughs and food for thought.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

Live Show Recaps & Kansas City Antics

[01:27–04:43]

The hosts reminisce about recent live shows in Kansas City and St. Paul, joking about how the city has become “too clean” due to “Taylor Swift money.”
Irony abounds as they note car break-ins at their Kansas City show—right after reassuring fans about how safe the city is.
They promise air fresheners to victims next time as tongue-in-cheek compensation.
Notable quote:
“If you were a member of the six people that had their cars smashed during the middle of the show... I just want to say I’m sorry we can offer nothing to you because I guess that’s just life.” (Henry, 02:07)

Announcement: Upcoming Halloween Costume Contest

[03:49–04:43]

The Metel Community Center show on October 24th will feature a Halloween costume contest. Costumes aren’t mandatory, but highly encouraged; the vibe will be “a little spooky.”

Jeffrey Epstein 50th Birthday Book: Listener Analysis

[04:50–15:13]

Henry receives detailed responses from scientists about the cryptic, “mathy” content in Epstein’s infamous birthday book (specific pages discussed: 124–125, 181, 182–187, 189–192).
The “science” is mostly self-congratulatory, full of esoteric jokes and references to transhumanism, immortalist ideas, and obscure math—described bluntly as “a way to jack off Epstein.”
Nobel laureate Murray Gell-Mann, Steve Kosslyn, and Lee Smolin are identified as contributors.
Recurring number 15 (as "the best number") is called out for its likely disturbing subtext.
Notable quote:
“All the science in the book appears to me as a way of jerking Epstein off. Right?” (Henry, 11:11)
Henry pledges to continue reporting any Epstein updates:
“I just want to make sure that no matter what we do here ... we make sure that Jeffrey Epstein’s story continues to go.” (Henry, 15:13)

The Case of “Deforvid” and Celeste Revis

[15:44–18:48]

Discussion turns to the scandalous murder case of the musician "Deforvid" (a.k.a. David), whose name and persona are mocked (“dumbest name I’ve ever heard”).
His Tesla, containing the body of his likely underage girlfriend Celeste Revis, was found outside his home.
Commentary on murderabilia: Fans are encouraged to send in any show merch before cancellation, for its potential collectible value.
Notable quote:
“His song is horrible. The song he made all the money is fucking horrible guys. But ... the rotting body of his ... girlfriend was inside of [his car].” (Henry, 16:36)

Football, CTE, and the Ethics of Spectatorship

[18:55–22:46]

Ed reflects on “good aspects” of football, like community and the food culture, but Henry and Ed acknowledge football’s inherent dangers (e.g., CTE, violence).
Guardian caps (new concussion helmets) are discussed as lifesaving but "goofy"-looking; hosts mock the masculine resistance to safety gear.
Notable quote:
“Do you want to act goofy or do you want to look goofy?” (Henry, 20:42)
“If you can make it not goofy, that’s the key. Someone do a sex tape in the helmet...” (Henry, 21:32)
Noted: The suicide of former NFL player Rudy Johnson at 45 and the request to have his brain studied for CTE.

The Struggle of Modern Boycotts & Choices

[22:46–25:45]

Ed laments the challenge of “standing for too much” with various corporate and ethical boycotts—Disney+, Hulu, Amazon.
Henry and Ed discuss the performativity vs. actual impact of consumer decisions, referencing Jimmy Kimmel’s return post-boycott.
Media and nostalgia as “crack” are extensively riffed on.
Funny analogy:
“Like, you know what they. They talk about with rats? ...A lot of them will starve to death, death just coming to death.” (Henry, 25:45)

Copenhagen UFO (Drone?) Shuts Down Airport

[28:55–34:18]

Report: Copenhagen Airport halted air traffic due to a massive, mysterious “drone”—a green-lighted triangle that authorities couldn’t identify.
This echoes recent “drone incursions” over New Jersey, Boston, Alaska, Yemen, and Michigan—authors joke about 'hobbyists' as cover for unexplainable events.
Audio develops a skeptical, conspiratorial edge: Is this all “normal” now?
Notable quote:
“Same hobbyists that obviously terrorized New Jersey. Same hobbyists that obviously terrorized Boston… And we’re all acting like it’s normal.” (Ed, 33:51)

Sandwich Stories: Mayo Rage-Induced Arson in Spain

[35:46–42:00]

The titular story: A man in Spain, denied mayonnaise for his sandwich at a café, fetches gasoline and sets the café on fire. Thankfully, only material damage resulted.
Henry and Ed explore the “righteous anger” of sandwich lovers, while reiterating it’s… an overreaction.
Hellmann’s, the mayo brand, offers to pay for damages, promising, “you’ll never run out of mayonnaise again.”
- Hellmann's statement read in parody “mayonnaise voice”:
  “Let us take care of the repairs and make sure your sandwiches never run out of mayonnaise again.” (Ed, 40:04)
Both share personal sandwich grievances—including Ed’s own rage at a deli refusing to make an egg salad sandwich with their own egg salad.

Listener Letters: Haunted Houses & Ghostly Grievances

[62:08–67:44]

Read a listener’s account of living in a haunted historic Michigan home; subtle poltergeist activity tied to a former owner’s death.
Henry relates his own “ghost in a box” experience—offering bourbon, weed, and horror swag to his resident spirit, Jason, whom he credits for mysterious grill malfunctions at home.
- “I was grilling, and I came back to the grill and opened up, and... the temperature had really dropped ... all of the grill dials were shut off.” (Henry, 67:44)

Odd News Quick Hits

Oklahoma Tiger Handler Killed:
[53:22–55:43]
A Joe Exotic associate is fatally mauled by a tiger he raised; Ed and Henry discuss the folly of private zoos.
- “You shouldn’t be experiencing love bites from giant jungle cats.” (Henry, 54:28)
Meth Fumes at Animal Shelter:
[56:05–59:00]
The FBI accidentally exposes staff and animals to meth fumes by incinerating 2 lbs of confiscated meth at a Billings, MT animal shelter; chaos ensues as both animals and humans are stoned.

Notable Quotes & Moments

On the philosophical weight of condiments:
“If you are a person ... that doesn’t eat condiments on your sandwich, you’re a pervert.” (Henry, 37:47)
On PBS versus performative activism:
“For me, it’s not economic ... it’s more principles. I just don’t want to be a part of it. I don’t think I’m making a difference.” (Ed, 24:20)
Fun with ancient history:
Debating who could eat a cloned Neanderthal, and riffing on ancient anatomy (“they couldn’t throw... over-the-shoulder motion”).
On listeners’ cravings:
The hosts’ visceral reactions to food disappointments are played for comedic effect, e.g.,
“I was using baked beans as barbecue sauce.” (Ed, 42:33)

Timestamps for Major Segments

Kansas City Show Recap & Announcements — [01:27–04:43]
Epstein Birthday Book Analysis — [04:50–15:13]
Deforvid & Murderabilia Discussion — [15:44–18:48]
Football/CTE/Safety Gear Rant — [18:55–22:46]
Boycotts and Media Addiction — [22:46–25:45]
Copenhagen UFO/Drones — [28:55–34:18]
Sandwich Stories (Spain Arson, Deli Rage) — [35:46–47:01]
Listener Letters (Hauntings, Ghost in a Box) — [62:08–68:14]

Tone & Style

Candid, irreverent, and darkly comedic: The hosts use sarcasm and gallows humor as a shield against the absurd and sometimes horrific realities they report.
Interactive with their audience: Requests for stingers, reactions to previous episodes, and direct engagement via mail and social media.
Pop-cultural and reference-heavy: Jokes and references span everything from Roman gladiators to Star Wars, police cam videos, and true crime lore.

For New Listeners

This episode is a solid snapshot of “Last Podcast on the Left’s” unique blend: news analysis, unfiltered humor, personal stories, and a hint of the macabre. Come for the true crime and conspiracies, stay for the food grievances, sandwich philosophy, and spirited banter.