Side Stories: Sincere Stories

Summary

Podcast Summary: Last Podcast on the Left – "Side Stories: Sincere Stories"

Hosted by: The Last Podcast Network
Release Date: June 11, 2025
Episode Title: Side Stories: Sincere Stories
Description: Exploring the darkest and most bizarre aspects of our world, from supernatural horrors to unsettling human behaviors.

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1. LA Protests and Military Presence

The episode opens with Ed Larson and Henry Zabrowski discussing the ongoing protests in Los Angeles. They delve into the tension between protesters and law enforcement, highlighting fears surrounding the imposition of martial law and the presence of military forces in civilian areas.

Notable Quotes:

• Henry Zabrowski [04:04]: "If immigrants weren't here, this entire city would crumble to the ground. They do everything."
• Ed Larson [05:24]: "They sent the army here. This is true fascist shit. That's very scary."

The hosts critique the government's response to the protests, expressing skepticism about the effectiveness of militarized intervention. They emphasize the resilience and organization of the protesters, arguing that the authorities are struggling to control the situation.

2. Update on Grant Harden – The Devil in the Ozarks

Ed and Henry provide an update on Grant Harden, a former police chief and convicted killer known as "the devil in the Ozarks." Harden was apprehended a mere mile and a half from his escape point, surprising the hosts with the ease of his capture.

Notable Quotes:

• Ed Larson [16:44]: "How would they. How hard were they looking?"
• Henry Zabrowski [17:04]: "He was on land. Just in a bush, living a groundhog's life."

They express disbelief at Harden's lack of concealment tactics, contrasting him with historically elusive figures. The discussion underscores the unpredictability of criminal behavior and the challenges law enforcement faces in tracking such individuals.

3. Javelin Incident in Russia

The podcast shifts focus to a tragic incident involving a 13-year-old girl, Anastasia, who was impaled by a javelin during a physical education class in Russia. The narrative explores the negligence of the javelin coach, Vladimir Menko, who failed to supervise the young athlete properly.

Notable Quotes:

• Henry Zabrowski [22:44]: "He didn't release. He didn't say the proper amount of warnings because I guess you're supposed to."
• Ed Larson [24:16]: "So it's like a home game for Russia."

The hosts critique the oversight in the sports environment, pondering the potential repercussions of such accidents on athletic programs and international reputations.

4. The Tale of Flat Creek Floyd – Georgia’s Notorious Alligator

Ed and Henry recount the story of Flat Creek Floyd, an infamous 11-foot, 9-inch alligator residing in Peachtree City, Georgia. Despite attempts by the authorities to remove him, Floyd was ultimately struck by a car, leading to his euthanization.

Notable Quotes:

• Henry Zabrowski [30:00]: "He chose to live under an overpass. And that's a lifestyle."
• Ed Larson [32:03]: "Come and send it on over."

The discussion highlights the unique challenges of managing wild animal populations in urban areas and the emotional connections individuals can form with such creatures.

5. Listener Emails and Side Stories

The episode features a segment dedicated to listener-submitted stories, ranging from mysterious disappearances in national parks to bizarre personal anecdotes.

Notable Quotes:

• Henry Zabrowski [50:44]: "I went into a little bit of a research hole on the Glimmer, man."
• Ed Larson [58:19]: "Did you hear that he might have had an affair with Doris Day?"

One particularly memorable email recounts the harrowing experience of a hunter, Jan Maccabee, who encountered what she believes to be an extraterrestrial entity while hunting. The disturbing tale blends elements of mystery and the supernatural, fitting seamlessly into the podcast's thematic fabric.

6. Sly Stone’s Passing and Musical Legacy

A heartfelt tribute is paid to Sly Stone, the legendary frontman of Sly and the Family Stone. The hosts lament his passing, celebrating his contributions to funk music and his enduring influence on contemporary genres.

Notable Quotes:

• Ed Larson [44:22]: "Sly Stone did lots, lots, lots of crack, you know, which is unfortunate."
• Henry Zabrowski [45:14]: "Sly Stone, they're one of the first groups to really, like, really, like, half of us are white, half of us are black."

They discuss Stone's creative genius, his role in promoting diversity within music, and the tragic decline of his personal life despite his artistic achievements. The conversation underscores the complexities of fame and the often-precarious nature of legacy.

7. Live Show Announcements and Upcoming Events

Ed and Henry conclude the episode by promoting their upcoming live shows across various cities, including Salt Lake City, Asheville, Kansas City, Redway, and Columbus. They encourage listeners to attend these events for an immersive and entertaining experience.

Notable Quotes:

• Ed Larson [67:59]: "You can see us live every 6pm PST on last stream on the left on our Patreon."
• Henry Zabrowski [68:52]: "Hail Satan."

The hosts blend humor with promotion, maintaining their signature irreverent style while engaging with their audience.

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Conclusion

"Side Stories: Sincere Stories" offers a blend of dark humor, unsettling tales, and poignant tributes, staying true to the show's commitment to exploring the horrifying and bizarre facets of reality. Through engaging dialogue and a mix of listener interactions, Ed Larson and Henry Zabrowski provide a captivating episode for both long-time fans and newcomers alike.

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Listen to the episode on Apple Podcasts or visit siriusxm.com/podcastsplus for ad-free and early access through SiriusXM Podcasts+.

Transcript

[Ed Larson]

There's no place to escape to. This is the last on the left side stories.

[Henry Zabrowski]

That's when the cannibalism started. Side stories. Yes. Ah, City of Angels. Nothing like a nice peaceful afternoon in the city of Los Angeles. Angeles, my friend.

[Ed Larson]

Oh yeah, man, I can't wait to wrestle a marine, man. It's about time, man. It's public too.

[Henry Zabrowski]

This guy from the Coast Guard, he came to my house, right? It was him with his ice guy, right? And he said, he came over and he was just like, are you harboring and are you refugees? I was like, yep, yeah, you gotta come get them. They're in the back. And I brought them back to the house. Obviously.

[Ed Larson]

They took Carmi and Wendy.

[Henry Zabrowski]

No, no, no, absolutely not. They. They're still. They're blood. They're. They born in. They're born in. And then I. I told them to sit and wait here, right? It said, I put in the living room I. Some coffee and some. Treated real nice. Real nice coffee. Yes.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

To be funny, right? I mean, I winked at him and then I went inside, right? I went into the back, my back area, right? And then I came back out and I was completely naked, right, like, which is my. My get go.

[Ed Larson]

You're at home.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I said, yeah. I was like, just so you know, if you want these refugees, both you boys are going to have to tag team me and make me go, right? You're going to have to make me shoot. And so you're going to have Eiffel Tower, the Sabrowski. Yes. And I said this to these two guys. I was. And this is not a joke here to.

[Ed Larson]

They hate the Eiffel Tower because it's in another country.

[Henry Zabrowski]

They hate it because of what it represents over there. It represents a shitty ladder, right? It's a bad. It's a bad building. And so they looked at me, right? And I just said, if you want these refugees, you're going to have to ple. You're going to have to pleasure me. You have to make love to me.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

And they started, jumped right in, right? Cuz obviously they're good at it. Cuz again, these boys, they're. They're just around men all day.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, yeah. Oh yeah. Know.

[Henry Zabrowski]

And they get sucking experts. They get really good at making love to each other. And so this guy came at me and so they were going. And. But they have to. Kept correcting them because they said, be more like a lady.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Be more. Think you're a lady?

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. Use these cuffs.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah. Think that you're like, you're a lady, you know? And. And eventually I had to leave. I had to make them leave. I was like, get the hell out of here.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. I'd want to try to zip tie my balls to my. And I'm like, they're already right next to each other.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Honestly, we don't even need to do this. Yeah. Escalate more. Thank you. That's what I'm saying. Welcome to side Stories. My name is Henry Zabrowski. I'm sitting here with Ed Larson.

[Ed Larson]

How you doing? Perfectly safe. Everything's fine.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Legitimately. We just want to open up today's show by saying ice. The marines, the Coast Guard. I love the good. The good ones. I like.

[Ed Larson]

Hold on. Scale back for two seconds. Don't. Don't that. The Marines. Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I like the. Fine with the. I'm. I'm fine with the good Marines.

[Ed Larson]

You.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I'm fine with the real men. No choice. And the real women of the Marines.

[Ed Larson]

Are trying to get out of the desert. These poor 700 are just sitting in Joshua Tree, not allowed to do mushrooms.

[Henry Zabrowski]

They're not even allowed to smoke weed. They're in like Riverside. Like, they're in. They're not even a good part.

[Ed Larson]

29 pumps.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Oh, wow.

[Ed Larson]

They're in 29 palms. That's where the base is.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Oh, God.

[Ed Larson]

One of them matched with amber on hinge.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Oh, we. I remember, I remember. They can't. They can't close.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. I am a little worried though, cuz these boys are just sitting in the desert doing nothing but push ups and like, they're just ready to punch a liberal in the face.

[Henry Zabrowski]

You know what, the desert's bad for ice.

[Ed Larson]

Yes.

[Henry Zabrowski]

And you gotta be really, really careful out there. I. But no, we just want to say that there you're gonna hear a lot of messaging about Los Angeles being a third world country in a war torn city and say that to the fact that I grilled this weekend.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

So there's that. They. All of my friends.

[Ed Larson]

I was in Disneyland and I was. I unplugged completely.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yes.

[Ed Larson]

My family was in town. I unplugged completely. I'm in Disneyland. Just like, I didn't unplug completely. I was definitely like posting pictures of me on rides. But then like, I get back and I'm like, oh, the city is being attacked. Everyone's like.

[Henry Zabrowski]

But just so you know, I just. Because I got messages from people from outside of the state that are all like, oh, my God, they come to burn your home. Oh my God. Are the, are the immigrants there to destroy your lives. And honestly, I'm gonna say straight up, if immigrants weren't here, this entire city would crumble to the ground. They do everything.

[Ed Larson]

They do everything but st broke.

[Henry Zabrowski]

They work hard. They work hard, and people are just trying to give it a shot. And honestly, the. If the. The comedians I know that went to the protest, it was an organized protest. It was so it is this. It's kind of what America is all about. America is about the fact that we have set parameters for you to go and express your displeasure with the government. And there. So this concept of everyone's saying, oh, it's riots. They're tearing the city apart. And then I'm watching a lady with a mommy blog at the protest. Yeah, like, like the. The comedians that went to the protest aren't going to a riot. I am just telling you this. If you're gonna see social media stuff from the there, it's a protest. They are. The United States government are the ones who are escalating and they are looking for a fight.

[Ed Larson]

They sent the army here. This is true fascist shit. That's very scary. But also, I just don't think it's going to work out.

[Henry Zabrowski]

It's not working because the protests are actually very effective. ICE is trying to be as scary as they can be because it's the new thing to scare children and families.

[Ed Larson]

The LAPD put out a statement saying that these aren't violent protests and they love kicking the shit out of us.

[Henry Zabrowski]

You don't think the LAPD would not have taken any opportunity to spray us with bullets? Like, honestly, they fucking love it. They can't wait to do it. We have tanks. We have the military. Yeah, it's here. So again, I'd love to meet a Marine. I'd love to feed a Marine. I'd love to make a Marine laugh. But I just know that I think any of the good Marines, anybody out there that actually believes in this country that's built on blood and slavery, anybody that actually believes in that shit wouldn't glisten to a pedophile telling you to attack the Personas of the United States of America. The citizens of United States of America. This is supposed to be a beam of play. A place where people want to come. A place where people are going to want to come to make their dreams come real. And that's a part of the deal, folks. I'm sorry, you're going to see somebody browner than you. That's called. It's called the world.

[Ed Larson]

Also Marines, while you're in town, literally. Just scout it for cool places to hang. When you're on leave, you're only a couple hours away. You know, we are the hottest city in America.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Oh, yeah.

[Ed Larson]

Dude, There is no question about it. Like, we are smoking hot, you and I. Like, you know, we're, you know, we're twos here.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Well, the difference is, is that we're producers.

[Ed Larson]

Yes.

[Henry Zabrowski]

And that's where we belong. Ugly men belong here.

[Ed Larson]

Yes.

[Henry Zabrowski]

And the. The more attractive men, they just become victims of true crime. It's the women that are. And everybody else of any other type of persuasion that are really quite hot here.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. Think about that. Marines. You don't. With the city where you're going to come screw on leave, it's not going to work out. It's a bad. It's a bad move.

[Henry Zabrowski]

But this is as, this is as sincere as we're going to get today, because I've been getting a lot of messages saying that we have been taken advantage of our uncleness.

[Ed Larson]

Yes.

[Henry Zabrowski]

And honestly, I want to be chill. I want to be cool, easy breezy, man. Look at me.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. I've been funding, you know, I've been. That's, you know.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Where's my money? Where.

[Ed Larson]

Where is your money?

[Henry Zabrowski]

I'm just saying you can give me the money. You're gonna fund me?

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. What do you want, what do you want to do? I mean, I just want to go out to eat. I want to go. A jar of weed.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yes, you did.

[Ed Larson]

I also bought you a cool alien necklace.

[Henry Zabrowski]

You actually. You really did. And that was actually very nice. I'm sorry, I take it back. You've actually done very. A couple of very nice things for me recently. Yeah. Which has been very nice.

[Ed Larson]

But you know what I did. I am a. Are you ready for this?

[Henry Zabrowski]

What?

[Ed Larson]

I am now a proud member of Charla. That's right. The Coalition for Humane Immigrant Rights.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Oh, I thought that was some big woman's patreon.

[Ed Larson]

I know, I know. That's what I was hoping. That's what I thought I signed up for. But yeah, I signed Julie and I up.

[Henry Zabrowski]

We're.

[Ed Larson]

We're members of Churla now. I don't know what this means.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah, I don't know. Did you get a kickback or something?

[Ed Larson]

I gave them money, and I think I got to go to meetings, so I, I. But I'm a member. I'm in. I'm in. Now, if you want to join Cherla and help people who are Getting over by ice, go to Churla members. Ship, drive2025funraise.org I think they misspelled fundraise.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I do think that.

[Ed Larson]

But it is. I checked it several times.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yes. Very good. We need to get. You got to get better. You got to get better copywriters in there. I. But that's. I will also explain while Eddie did a wonderful thing and joined this wonderful group. Ch.

[Ed Larson]

I'm a churla boy.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I'm joining the Hollywood Disclosure organization, which is.

[Ed Larson]

I'm joining that, too.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah. This is all about. I'm joining the. The group of the most important people in the world. The actors that are trying to fight for disclosure. UFO Disclosure.

[Ed Larson]

Yes.

[Henry Zabrowski]

And we're really pulling out all the stops. We're having zooms, we're having twitch streams, glooms.

[Ed Larson]

You're having glooms.

[Henry Zabrowski]

It is June.

[Ed Larson]

Everyone's sad about, you know, not, you know, there's no work anymore. Yeah. We have to all talk about aliens now.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Well, I.

[Ed Larson]

Welcome to my world.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I would rather talk to an actor about aliens than about the fact that they're not working.

[Ed Larson]

Yes.

[Henry Zabrowski]

So to be honest, you should be thankful, too, because then we don't have to talk about acting.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, we. You know, Rob saw Thomas Jane at the. At the Contact.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I smelled Thomas Jane coming. He smelled like a leopard.

[Ed Larson]

Is that why the food was so bad?

[Henry Zabrowski]

Dude, he doesn't wear shoes. Those guys don't know. Thomas Jane's one of those guys. He specifically doesn't wear shoes. He is a smelly boy.

[Ed Larson]

He was fine.

[Henry Zabrowski]

He wasn't that smelly in the elevator. I think it's because you were. You were dealing with that. You were just on. It was the morning, so I think he was fresh out of the shower. Oh, he was very tired, though. He seems like the kind of guy that does wash himself in, like, city structures. Oh, yeah. Like, he'll go up to a fountain, a bank, and he'll wash himself as.

[Ed Larson]

Soon as he passes the river. He's like, you mind you guys if I pop out, take a quick bath?

[Henry Zabrowski]

Whatever you need, Tom, you were the Punisher after all. Absolutely.

[Ed Larson]

Punisher.

[Henry Zabrowski]

You're right. One of the. John. John. We all know John Bernal Bernthal is the Punisher.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, he is the real Punisher. But also, before we move on, I'm very excited for Saturday. No kings. June 14. Go to no kings.org if you want to protest. If you want to organized, safe protesting. It's all over the country. You go ahead and type in your zip code. There's. I could walk to mine.

[Henry Zabrowski]

That. You see that's the best.

[Ed Larson]

If I could walk to the protest.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Done.

[Ed Larson]

Are you kidding me?

[Henry Zabrowski]

I'll go if I can get it.

[Ed Larson]

I have to go to downtown and I can still mildly protest. I'm going to bring sandwiches.

[Henry Zabrowski]

You guys are making fun of Los Angeles for this garbage. And I have too. I've seen this before. I know we do tend to protest before brunch. It's Los Angeles. But listen, do you have any idea what it takes to add to the schedule of a lazy stoner in Los Angeles if they're willing to go out of their way to protest? There are things wrong in this fucking country. I don't want to go to any of this shit.

[Ed Larson]

He just told me I got to.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Go do this thing. And if it's down the street for me, I can't say no.

[Ed Larson]

You can't say no.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I literally have to go 11 to.

[Ed Larson]

1 down the street.

[Henry Zabrowski]

That's convenient. I get to wake up at a nice time and get a coffee and go and yell at that pedophile. Nothing makes me happier, honestly.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, no, it's gonna be great. But yeah, the main no Kings protest is going to be in Philadelphia. So if you're anywhere close to Philadelphia, go to Philadelphia and join those they're trying to have.

[Henry Zabrowski]

That's gonna be an intense.

[Ed Larson]

That's gonna be a stupid ass military parade they're holding in dc. Don't go to DC because they're just gonna count you as someone who went to their parade.

[Henry Zabrowski]

We'll also know that if you're gonna go to the military parade and protest all the military stuff, it's gonna be there. Yeah. So just know that if you're looking to not get sprayed with tear gas or hit with a net or hit with a sound machine or hit anyone, these various things that they're gonna employ around the D.C. area, it's probably best to make your displeasure known.

[Ed Larson]

Yes.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Outside of it.

[Ed Larson]

It's for the best.

[Henry Zabrowski]

It's for the best. All right, so we got some good. That's honestly, that's wonderful. We got some new live shows, new side stories. Live show completely does. That doesn't help society. That's just us. Go to last podcast on the left dot com. You're gonna buy those tickets and see Eddie and I flapping our our bellies in Salt Lake City.

[Ed Larson]

Salt lake. So Friday, June 11, Jordan Landing, Utah, part of Salt Lake City. We're gonna be at the Wise Guys Comedy Club, Henry, 9:30pm that's gonna be a blast. Thursday, August 7th. We're gonna be in Asheville, North Carolina. That's the Orange peel.

[Henry Zabrowski]

That's for you.

[Ed Larson]

That is definitely a bucket list venue for me. I always wanted to do.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I've never been to Asheville.

[Ed Larson]

I love ash.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I've heard it's awesome.

[Ed Larson]

One of the great cities in our nation.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I'm very excited.

[Ed Larson]

Sunday, September 21st, Kansas City, Missouri. Never been bad.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Still the best meal I've ever had is in Kansas City.

[Ed Larson]

We will be back and eating that food. I can't wait to get sick on your barbecue. Kansas City, Missouri. We'll be at the Truman on Saturday, September 21st. October 24th. We're doing it, baby. We're coming back to Redway. That's right. Humboldt Mattel Community Center. We're coming for you. Friday, October 24th. The show that you saw last year is coming back and it's going to be bigger, hotter and fatter.

[Henry Zabrowski]

It better be. I know I am.

[Ed Larson]

And November 30, we're going to be in Columbus, Ohio. That's a Sunday after Thanksgiving.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Weren't as excited about that one.

[Ed Larson]

I'm very excited. I love my Ohio people.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I'm just saying that Columbus, Ohio, we know that's Epstein country. So we're going to be bringing that.

[Ed Larson]

Travis is going to have to open for us. We don't really have a choice.

[Henry Zabrowski]

He basically said, he said along the lines, I think he's like, I'm the guy. Like I'm the Columbus guy.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

And we're like, all right, well, sure.

[Ed Larson]

Travis is open.

[Henry Zabrowski]

So that's your request. Because of your. Your request. He's coming to that.

[Ed Larson]

But more important than these side story shows, I have to say your baby.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Henry the seance, June 20, it's going to be live on YouTube. LPN-TV on YouTube. I believe it starts at time, time, time and the time 6pm I imagine it's around 6pm PST. I think we're going a little bit later. I think it might be. Check out the socials. We got it on the. So we'll find out the exact time, but it's coming live to our YouTube. My calendar says 6pm yes, go and subscribe.

[Ed Larson]

Means I should get there like at least an hour early, Right?

[Henry Zabrowski]

We'll get you there. I'll tell you what, don't worry. I'll give you the information closer to the day.

[Ed Larson]

Can people buy tickets?

[Henry Zabrowski]

Not yet, but they will be able to. Very limited. And I imagine that the tickets are going to be Patreon only.

[Ed Larson]

Okay.

[Henry Zabrowski]

And because you are going to be able to experience this up close, and I do want to say, anybody that is attending in person, this is a very legit seance. This is fo real. You're doing it.

[Ed Larson]

Is the weird part about this?

[Henry Zabrowski]

Oh, yeah, I was.

[Ed Larson]

I'm less scared than I was. I don't know what changed in me.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I think it's because you're just getting beaten.

[Ed Larson]

At first I was like, oh, no, I could never. And now I'm like, who cares if a ghost follows me?

[Henry Zabrowski]

Exactly. You're getting beaten. Marcus is still scared, and I like that.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, I don't think. Yeah, it's. That's the thing. It's like, what could a ghost really do? A ghost pushed my mom down the stairs, apparently.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah. I mean, it didn't kill her.

[Ed Larson]

Didn't kill her. Broke her nose, though.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah, but that's different. It's coming, and she doesn't drink, so.

[Ed Larson]

Something had to push her.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Your mom was kind of clumsy.

[Ed Larson]

I never saw her fall.

[Henry Zabrowski]

But, you know, she wasn't like an au Tier athlete.

[Ed Larson]

No, she couldn't do the hurdles.

[Henry Zabrowski]

No, she can't do. She can't do like a. What you call, like an ollie.

[Ed Larson]

She couldn't throw a javelin. I'll tell you that much.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Very good segue. We're gonna bring up that story very soon. Let's first do an update. Is in the proper fashion of side stories. It happened the second we stop recording. Yes. This man that we talked about, how dangerous he was. Grant Hardin, former police chief, convicted killer, known as the devil in the Ozarks. He was captured only a mile and a half from where he escaped from.

[Ed Larson]

How would they. How hard were they looking?

[Henry Zabrowski]

This is like he was in a bush. That is where he was. He wasn't even. Saddam Hussein was in a tunnel.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

He was on land. Just in a bush, living a groundhog's life.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

No, and they just.

[Ed Larson]

Shirt.

[Henry Zabrowski]

They just found him. They didn't have a shirt.

[Ed Larson]

All floppy, titted out.

[Henry Zabrowski]

He lost shirt. I don't know why. Should have kept it on. He looks. Got scratched my branches.

[Ed Larson]

He looks so bad. They gave him a shirt.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah. They're like. Yeah. You know, disgusting. Oh, yeah. We have to cover you up. You look like the. What's her name? From Barbarian. You look like the monster from. From Barbarian. We have to cover you up. He looked like. So Grant Harden has been arrested.

[Ed Larson]

Do you know who got him?

[Henry Zabrowski]

Who?

[Ed Larson]

Border patrol.

[Henry Zabrowski]

That's one lucky get. And he knows it was nowhere near the border.

[Ed Larson]

No, no. Certainly not.

[Henry Zabrowski]

You know, so y.

[Ed Larson]

Exactly.

[Henry Zabrowski]

What are they Doing up there?

[Ed Larson]

What are they doing in Arkansas?

[Henry Zabrowski]

I guess it's. These are guys side stories. Lpotl.com I think legitimately they are there because everybody is just. They. These are. They're hiring guys that have like a hard on for anybody that. I mean, I just don't understand. Anybody that's got like, just like a family and kids here from another country, I'll never understand.

[Ed Larson]

They're like, oh, I'm so proud of our department and staff. He was gone for a week and a half.

[Henry Zabrowski]

He was within a mile. A literal errands. Amount of walking I could from the prison.

[Ed Larson]

It's a 20 minute walk.

[Henry Zabrowski]

20 minute walk. And he just walked into the woods late. He had no other plan. I guess it's like everybody just assumed. You know what? It is true. This is the power of lying about how strong you are. Like as a criminal.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

This is the power because. Because of the devil in the Ozarks, because of how well organized all that was. I also believe that he probably. It will if there is a way to figure that out. I bet you that he is guilty for several more sexual assaults. Prob. Several more murders. The fact that it all happened so easily. But he had no plan. Everybody just assumed that he would be on a helicopter in Scandinavia having figured it all out. And it just. He was just like, all right, maybe if I had. All right, what hides.

[Ed Larson]

He went camping.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I had like a mouse. Mice hide. Yeah, go down where the mice hide. That's right. Go. Go down by the dirt. You had a slither. Slit like slither like a steak. Maybe the great spirits of the Native American ancestors are gone and turn me. Turn me into a snake. Help me, Wendigo. Help me. And they were like. And they just didn't come for him like they came for Pocahontas.

[Ed Larson]

No. Yeah. Yeah, he's. But he's caught. They got him.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yep, got him really quickly.

[Ed Larson]

Don't worry about it. If you're someone that's scared of him.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Wrapped up.

[Ed Larson]

Wrapped it up.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Wrapped up.

[Ed Larson]

Sanders is very happy about it.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Oh, good. So she could finally get a chance to go on a date with him or something. Yeah, that dumb. I hope she gets hit by a car.

[Ed Larson]

They definitely look like they have the same tits.

[Henry Zabrowski]

They do. Oh, she's just jealous. She's like, who did your work? Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Is that the Kendall Jenner lady? It's the Kendall Jenner person. That's amazing. All right, what else we got here? Because that's sad. That's a Sad little update. It's done. It's done.

[Ed Larson]

We got it. It happened. I mean, let's, you know, let's talk about our tease a little bit here then. Our, our, our javelin lady.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Oh, yes. This was. All right, so this is one of those stories. This is a quick story, you know that like, you know when you're in elementary school and you hear like, there's like a reason why you're not allowed to bring basketballs into like the tennis court anymore. Like, there's some horrific story from ages past that has like solidified into lore, and now it's like, you're like, why do we have this, these rules? And I always remember as a kid, my grandfather had lawn darts.

[Ed Larson]

Yes.

[Henry Zabrowski]

And we loved them.

[Ed Larson]

I mean, they're fun, they're awesome. Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

And then one day they all took them away.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Because they're all like, it's dangerous. Oh, you're gonna get hurt. Someone's gonna get killed with the, with the lawn dart.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

You know, it's horseshoes for you. Looked up as soon as Rob looked up. Lawn dart. It just shows all these old tiny pictures of kids with lawn darts sticking out of their foreheads.

[Ed Larson]

One guy, one in the back of.

[Henry Zabrowski]

His neck and I'm laying on the ground. They look like hors d' oeuvres at a party. But this story is why these stories get, get started.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. So this happened in Russia. And she was a 13 year old girl. Dies unfortunately in Rushka.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I believe you can get married at 13.

[Ed Larson]

I mean, I feel like you could do lots of. I think you can get married, but only to a bear. Ah, yes, but the. So the. She was. She was impaled by a javelin during PE class in Russia. This poor little Anastasia.

[Henry Zabrowski]

She.

[Ed Larson]

She was. She was impaled by the javelin.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Try to say the name of the town from the fizz Ed town.

[Ed Larson]

The phys Ed town.

[Henry Zabrowski]

It says here now, he was. She was stuck to the eye through javelin during a phys Ed class in.

[Ed Larson]

Procolardi Brook, Prokoladni Cabodino, Balcaria, Russia.

[Henry Zabrowski]

How would you like the medium rare?

[Ed Larson]

So she. Unfortunately she did pass away. She died four days after this happened. And because she was in a coma. But I just have to think about what happened to the javelin. The boy throwing it.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah, 16. His name was Timur.

[Ed Larson]

He was throwing the javelin and he was unsupervised and he threw it and it landed and it hit her in the eye and it went through her skull and out her mouth, out down her mouth. And so it didn't. It seems like the reason she didn't die instantly is it didn't actually hit her brain.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

Cuz it comes, you know, javelin. It goes up and then it comes down.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Depending on how bad it goes into.

[Ed Larson]

Her eye and down out back, the end of her throat and then through her body a little bit.

[Henry Zabrowski]

You know, in the javelin coach Vladimir Menko, he was. He apparently didn't immediately take her to the hospital. And do you think on some level he was just like, you see, Timor, this is why you have to release at top of the arc.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Increase the angle. The angle must come at the sharper angle from the top in order to pair better. You want it to go through brain.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. Now is this guy promoted to the javelin team or is he off the javelin team?

[Henry Zabrowski]

I think he's getting sent to the part of Ukraine.

[Ed Larson]

It depends on how far away she was.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I mean, if it's like, okay, let's.

[Ed Larson]

Say 15 yards, maybe he shouldn't get on the team.

[Henry Zabrowski]

It's horrible. He said that he didn't release. He didn't say the proper amount of warnings because I guess you're supposed to.

[Ed Larson]

Like, like 16 year old idiot who's unsupervised throwing the javelin.

[Henry Zabrowski]

If it's a pr. Right. If it's a personal record.

[Ed Larson]

Personal record.

[Henry Zabrowski]

And it breaks some form of record within the. I mean, technically, I think that's the Olympics.

[Ed Larson]

Yes.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I think that if he gets. If you. If he hit her square in the dome. I want to say. What's the longest is 90 meter. 95 meter. That's pretty good. Yeah, 95. If he ate her at like 95, 97 meters. That's Olympic caliber.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

So I do think that we can let him as. I mean, Laroshka's. I don't think Rushka's even allowed in the Olympics anymore.

[Ed Larson]

Yes, they are.

[Henry Zabrowski]

No, I don't think we allowed them the last time. Don't they have like a separate.

[Ed Larson]

They got caught cheating. I know that.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I know. I thought the Rushkas have a thing where they, they. The government can't send a sponsored one.

[Ed Larson]

Oh, Russia.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

20, 26 winter. But they're back because of the war.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah, the war. Are they coming? Oh, they're gonna be in Los Angeles. Great.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, they'll be here.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Where's ice gonna be there?

[Ed Larson]

They're gonna be here.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Where's ice gonna be when the Russians are here?

[Ed Larson]

Oh my God. What about the 12 banned countries? Are they not allowed to be in the Olympics?

[Henry Zabrowski]

I depends on advertising.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

All depends on advertising. And I think it really depends on how the countries are testing.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. And I imagine of all the Olympics of this would be the best for the Russian because they have one of their people in the top office.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Oh, yeah, that would really help.

[Ed Larson]

This is good for them.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Honestly. It would really help.

[Ed Larson]

So it's like a home game for Russia.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Honestly. I want the people to come. I want the athletes to be able to perform.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I want them to be able to perform. They work so hard.

[Ed Larson]

They do. They do. You know, and they do. They don't. They don't know any difference.

[Henry Zabrowski]

No.

[Ed Larson]

You know, but yes. So this. I'm sorry, this poor lady. This poor girl did not make it. But what a way to go. Oh, my God.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Nothing like getting turned into a corn dog.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Now. Sheesh.

[Ed Larson]

Kebab.

[Henry Zabrowski]

We have a bunch of. That's funny. We have a bunch of really sad stories that I don't want to go into. This is the funny one. That was the funny one. Guys. We have the Travis Decker story that I'm not going to get into about the three daughters that were zip tied and he popped plastic bags over their heads that they could die in their sleep. And then he went on a drug fueled. I guess he's on the lamb.

[Ed Larson]

So they're looking for him.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah. That's a really upsetting story. There's the other upsetting story about the nurse, Kevin Coolong, who we would sedate. He would fondle women patients with their sedated. Because he said he felt that they were flirting with him beforehand.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, he said asking for it.

[Henry Zabrowski]

He said the ads. And then he also said something along.

[Ed Larson]

The lines, they were sedated, they were flirting.

[Henry Zabrowski]

And that's not how they. That's how it does that. That's not how they do that. Unless it's on an astral level. Yes. Which is again, is very difficult to tell if you're flirting astrally. Again, it's very subtle public beating for him.

[Ed Larson]

Please.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Also men really take that. This is really taking that she was friendly to me trope. Way too far.

[Ed Larson]

This is a little. This is. This is. This is too far.

[Henry Zabrowski]

If she has evidence, it's always too far.

[Ed Larson]

But this is way too far.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Super far. If she has like a little happy dream while she's knocked out and gets a little smile, that isn't a go for you to give her the old Al Franken, right? You can't get anything. Give her the honky honk.

[Ed Larson]

Hey.

[Henry Zabrowski]

All right.

[Ed Larson]

He never touched.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I know. He never touched you can't just give a lady honky honks just because she's asleep. We all know the.

[Ed Larson]

This.

[Henry Zabrowski]

We all know this, Eddie.

[Ed Larson]

I know, but Al Franken Day. I miss Al.

[Henry Zabrowski]

We all do. Mal Franken was our only shot at having a good president.

[Ed Larson]

Yes. There's also the teenagers in Maryland who killed the owner of a koi pond for what seems to be no reason.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Oh, that is a really also sad story.

[Ed Larson]

Yes.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Where they grab that man? It was a couple. They were a high school couple about to graduate from high school.

[Ed Larson]

One of them's going to Notre Dame.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Ooh, Fighting Irish.

[Ed Larson]

Well, maybe that's what it is.

[Henry Zabrowski]

They're getting ready.

[Ed Larson]

Yes.

[Henry Zabrowski]

And then they beat to death an old man. They went and they stomped this old man that. Yeah, that did a. They put him in his car and then they set fire to him inside of his car.

[Ed Larson]

Yes.

[Henry Zabrowski]

And that's not a funny story either. None of this is particularly.

[Ed Larson]

They were about to graduate.

[Henry Zabrowski]

They were. Not anymore.

[Ed Larson]

No.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Unless.

[Ed Larson]

Well, yeah, I think. Well, I mean, they can still graduate high school. Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I guess they can get their GED from. From jail.

[Ed Larson]

Well, if they already did. If they already passed their finals.

[Henry Zabrowski]

So I guess they get their diploma no matter what.

[Ed Larson]

I think they get their diploma.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Side Stories LPOTL gmail.com if you've graduated, but. But you've graduated before the ceremony and you kill an old man with your bare hands, do you still get the diploma?

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. Do let us know. Or maybe. Or maybe not the physical copy, but you email PDF. Yeah. You definitely learned the info. I think you would if you pass the test.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I'd sue the high school.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, why not?

[Henry Zabrowski]

Here's another. If I was them. If I was them. That them?

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I mean, no, I did the work. Yeah. I killed an old man for the thrill of it. Sure I did. It was fun for me. Yeah. Of course I have no feelings, but I definitely went to biology.

[Ed Larson]

We got another sad story.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Oh, great. Good. Added to the pile.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

This was supposed to be the week we came back strong comedically. This was supposed to be the week that we came back with a sort of light hearted edge to everything that's going on right now. Eddie, if we do another sad story, I don't know if that's going to really hold up our end of the bargain.

[Ed Larson]

Black Creek Floyd was run over by a car.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Is that a guy?

[Ed Larson]

That's an alligator.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Oh, that's fine.

[Ed Larson]

It's a famous. It's a local.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Okay.

[Ed Larson]

Alligator.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I thought Flat Creek Lloyd was just a famous Homeless guy?

[Ed Larson]

No, no.

[Henry Zabrowski]

He was one of those guys that just would lay in the creek. She'd be like, don't mind me.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I mean, because I don't call him the Log man or, or Mr. Mr. Mud Banks or, you know, because that'd be something else I'd give him. And if he got hit by a car, I'd be sad.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. So Flat Creek Floyd, famous alligator in Georgia.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I never heard of him.

[Ed Larson]

Big old G lives. He lives in Peachtree City, Georgia. Oh yes. And he was. They tried to get rid of him a while ago. He big old boy. Big old fat alligator. I love the size of him. The footage of him is he. He was huge. He was 11ft 9 inches long. He weighed about 500 pounds.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Was he.

[Ed Larson]

The road and he was. He lived under an overpass. And they kept trying to kill him. And then eventually there was this guy, a trapper named Jason Clark who was like, we don't. He talked to the city and he's like, listen, we need to let Flat Creek Floyd live.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Just let him live.

[Ed Larson]

We can coexist with Flat Creek Floyd.

[Henry Zabrowski]

He's just there under the over.

[Ed Larson]

So they let. So they let Flat Creek Floyd live. But eventually this guy, this big, this reptile guy, eventually he got hit by a car, unfortunately. And then when the reptile guy came up to him, he was literally weeping, holding. He's like on top of this gator we. He loved this gator so much. And he's literally weeping like, I don't want to kill you. It's very sad too because he was bleeding internally. Yeah, sure. And he knew that Flat Creek Floyd was.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Was dying, so he snap his neck.

[Ed Larson]

I think he. I. I think. I think he shot him in the back of the neck.

[Henry Zabrowski]

You don't just grab him by the whole throat. Their brain jostling back and forth.

[Ed Larson]

You ever watch the show where they. Like, I forget what it was called, but it was a. It was a gator killing television show.

[Henry Zabrowski]

You think? I do.

[Ed Larson]

And then I used to. I used to watch Swamp People.

[Henry Zabrowski]

SW People. Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

Because like every once in a while you got to kill a bunch of gators. It's gator season, you know, and you got to kill the G. And so what they do is they actually shoot him in the back of the neck. Cuz that's where their brain is down. Yeah, it's over there. And they shoot him in the back of the neck. So I imagine that's what Jason Clark did.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah. He wouldn't just choke him out.

[Ed Larson]

I don't think he could have smothering it.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah. It does look like he's just put a pillow over his face.

[Ed Larson]

This is him determining if he has to kill him or not.

[Henry Zabrowski]

It doesn't look like he's doing it gently.

[Ed Larson]

He said that he. The. The. The gator was bleeding from the inside, died, and he. It was time that he had to be euthanized.

[Henry Zabrowski]

You know, honestly though, Black Creek Floyd miss you already. I will say he chose to live under an overpass. And that's a lifestyle.

[Ed Larson]

It is a lifestyle.

[Henry Zabrowski]

And a part of that lifestyle might feature you getting hit by a car.

[Ed Larson]

Yes.

[Henry Zabrowski]

You know, and I. They did their best to try to kill him. And in a way that I guess that they wanted to kill him.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

But then they let society do it. It.

[Ed Larson]

Yes. I mean, this is, you know, I guess this is the correct way for it to happen.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I. I guess I don't think so. But I also. I prefer it to have happened naturally.

[Ed Larson]

Yes.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Than them necessarily going and ging it for no reason.

[Ed Larson]

They buried him behind the police department.

[Henry Zabrowski]

That's extremely. I guess that's fine.

[Ed Larson]

I guess that's fine.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah, sure.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, sure. Why not?

[Henry Zabrowski]

You know, again, it's very sad stories.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. Cuz they had to deal with lots of. Lots of numerous sightings. And they said, in lieu of flowers.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Send big boxes of chum. Send big boxes of chum to the Peachtree, Georgia police station. Let's get that address. Maybe we pop that up there. If anybody's got any loose chum, go.

[Ed Larson]

Ahead and send it on over.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah. If you could. They're looking for it. They can't wait to receive your chum.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. But you know, I never like losing a good gator.

[Henry Zabrowski]

No, no, no. It's really very, very sad.

[Ed Larson]

Especially ones that, you know, hide under.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Bridges because that's their job.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

They're also. Again, it's a gator. Where we were just at. We just stayed in a hotel and like, it was in Florida and there was an active gator area.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Like behind the hotel. Which was awesome. It was also hilarious because it's just a little sign being like, mind small dogs.

[Ed Larson]

My favorite was where I grew up. There was a sign that told us not to feed magic mushrooms to the gators, which is just like that. I mean, you know, they.

[Henry Zabrowski]

They start tripping, start playing cards and stuff.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

That'd be kind of fun. Do you guys have any fish? Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

PF but pH. Could you put that on, please? Honestly, normally I like fish. Today I'm thinking you know, let's go to a farmhouse.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I'm feeling some anxiety, man. Listen. Hey, fat. Hey, fat pink thing. You guys got any coloring books or anything? I need something to focus my attention.

[Ed Larson]

Hey, what do you think about this?

[Henry Zabrowski]

It's a good little walking beat, right? Oh yeah, it is. Yeah. Take that bass for a while. Now, obviously the most important news of this week we have covered. We've talked about the LA protests, we've talked all about, you know, the martial war, martial law and the Insurrection Act. But I think it's important you put.

[Ed Larson]

The corp in corpse and previous corpse.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I did. Thank you. Thank you. Perfect. Yeah, you that up.

[Ed Larson]

Corpse in habeas corpse.

[Henry Zabrowski]

We're leaving it like this. We're leaving it like this.

[Ed Larson]

You. You fat corpse.

[Henry Zabrowski]

God damn. I will leave one. But just so you know, as of today, There has been 11 baby names that have been banned in the US.

[Ed Larson]

We determined that these baby names are illegal now.

[Henry Zabrowski]

This is true. This is a list of 11 baby names.

[Ed Larson]

This is a great find, Rob.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I thank you, Rob, for sending up to this. This is my favorite thing I've read in a while. So these are the names that are not allowed in America. America?

[Ed Larson]

Well, New Zealand and Japan, they banned a whole bunch of names. But America's. We can usually get away with everything.

[Henry Zabrowski]

We got 11 names, never names.

[Ed Larson]

You're not allowed to name your baby. These 11 names.

[Henry Zabrowski]

King, queen. Why not? I guess. I don't know. I guess I would assume that you're they. How dumb are we, stupid?

[Ed Larson]

Prince and Princess.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I know.

[Ed Larson]

Why can't you do King and Queen?

[Henry Zabrowski]

I think because Prince and Princess in the end. Look at, look at the dipshit we have that's working for Spotify. Prince means nothing.

[Ed Larson]

Yes.

[Henry Zabrowski]

You know what I mean. Prince and Princess mean Jack.

[Ed Larson]

It's true.

[Henry Zabrowski]

King and Queen mean something. I guess you have to be a special type of. To think that if I'm King Zabrowski, that you need to treat me with some form of monarch like importance.

[Ed Larson]

Now can you change your name as an adult to King?

[Henry Zabrowski]

I don't. That's a good chance. That's a good question. Side stories. Let's find out. Let's find out other names. Names. Jesus Christ not allowed. Which is hilarious because it's not like your name's not Jesus Christ. Is that your full name? Can't be Jesus Christ Larson.

[Ed Larson]

Yes.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Which is amazing.

[Ed Larson]

I said because Jesus we all know is allowed.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Well, huh. Not according to ice. Then we've got. Then we got three, right? The letter, the number, the Roman numeral three. Yes. I, I, I. I don't know. Why not one. One, not two, not four.

[Ed Larson]

Do you think that maybe this is ill?

[Henry Zabrowski]

Like illmatic? Yeah, like a license to ill.

[Ed Larson]

It could be ill. I mean, it could be a capital I and two lowercase.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Ls your name. You can be named ill if you want to be named ill.

[Ed Larson]

I think that's cool.

[Henry Zabrowski]

It is cool. Yeah. Obviously.

[Ed Larson]

Larson.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah, Ill. Larson's a fun ass name.

[Ed Larson]

That is a cool name.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Super disrespectful child. It's I. Okay, still done. Still dumb. Santa Claus can't be named for Santa Claus. Why not? Again, don't want to distract.

[Ed Larson]

You idolize Santa Claus and you want to name your kid after Santa Claus.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Then you technically, I believe, have a mental disorder. Then there's Majesty. Probably same along the same reasons. Along the lines of King and Queen. Adolf Hitler.

[Ed Larson]

It's interesting. They. They put the both. You could still do Adolf, apparently, and you could still do Hitler, but you can't do it.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I don't know. Just saying. You can't be Adolf Hitler. Okie. You can't be. Also, what I don't understand is Nutella.

[Ed Larson]

I mean, that's just someone that's like multiple people are like, my kid's name Nutella. They're like someone's like, we have to stop this.

[Henry Zabrowski]

But why? Can't. Can it. Is it true? For all things. Can I not name my child Charleston Chu?

[Ed Larson]

I think Zabrowski. What about Hazel? When the middle name's name. Nut. Hazel Nut.

[Henry Zabrowski]

That's. Yeah. I mean, that's. Again, you're should be.

[Ed Larson]

That should be allowed.

[Henry Zabrowski]

You're making a stripper. Yes, but you're allowed to. You're allowed to then. Yeah. Nutella is the name of a difficult woman at the dmv.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Like, this is a. What do we do? All right, so then there's Messiah, which I still think is weird because I feel like that's more of a nickname for Jesus.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Then the at symbol.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, the at symbol.

[Henry Zabrowski]

And then 1069.

[Ed Larson]

I don't understand with 1069 why that matters. 1099. I make sense.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I'm 42069 makes sense.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

This is my son 426, so I.

[Ed Larson]

Can name my kid 420.

[Henry Zabrowski]

What is here in the Common Air? Police code.

[Ed Larson]

Oh, it's a police code for what?

[Henry Zabrowski]

I don't know. 1069. What is the place?

[Ed Larson]

I know 187's murder, death, kill.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah. Demolition man 187 on the. I don't know the origin of this one.

[Ed Larson]

October 1969. What happened then?

[Henry Zabrowski]

I think that was Kent State. Beatles did something. Oh, no. It.

[Ed Larson]

I don't know. Why can we not say 1069?

[Henry Zabrowski]

I don't know. But I do think it's interesting is that most. Illinois and South Carolina, you. They can use numbers and symbols in their child's name.

[Ed Larson]

Okay, that's.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I don't know how you say those things.

[Ed Larson]

Obscene names are banned in New Jersey, which I find very insulting.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah. Because honestly, my. My aunt would like a word.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, all right.

[Henry Zabrowski]

That's a family name.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. Well, my aunt Cunt is Aunt Judy.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah. Got your ass. Judy. I know you.

[Ed Larson]

Listen. I know she's deaf.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Oh, good.

[Ed Larson]

Excellent. Doesn't make her nice. That's so goddamn sure.

[Henry Zabrowski]

What sign language for C? I'm looking this up right now.

[Ed Larson]

Is it the finger in the hole.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I'm looking up right now, or is.

[Ed Larson]

It just the hole?

[Henry Zabrowski]

Just keep going. I want to add. Fine. I want to find out what other names can we add.

[Ed Larson]

Add. Oh to the list? Yeah, I mean, I feel like. Could be. Should be on the list. There's no curse words on the list, which is.

[Henry Zabrowski]

All right. How to sign.

[Ed Larson]

How about go. If we're adding Hitler, let's add gobbles. I feel like that Geral Mangala.

[Henry Zabrowski]

You know what it is, is that they are still kind of off brand.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. To this day. A little inside. Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Babs. All right, just tell me how to say C. How about.

[Ed Larson]

All right, how about this?

[Henry Zabrowski]

You're not doing it. You're just teaching me deaf history.

[Ed Larson]

What about. What about a lore? If you want to learn cunt through sign language, you gotta learn the history.

[Henry Zabrowski]

No. No. All right. Oh, wait. So this is vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina.

[Ed Larson]

But how do you say cunt, though?

[Henry Zabrowski]

I think you go like.

[Ed Larson]

In Mississippi, a baby will automatically be given the father's last name unless the parents request a different name.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I mean, that's kind of patriarch.

[Ed Larson]

That was everywhere.

[Henry Zabrowski]

You know what I love is my favorite one in Florida? If parents don't sign a document agreeing to the baby's name, the court selects a name. This is your son.

[Ed Larson]

Desantis.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Wario. This is your son. Strawberry Guava. Berry. Done. Flat Creek, Floyd C. Ass. Ah. Ah. All these names. None of these work.

[Ed Larson]

You know. You know what? Be a good name to get rid of. What, Keith? You know, what do we think about, like, a normal name just to get.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Rid of just one band name?

[Ed Larson]

Let's just get Rid of one. Like, if you got it, you get to keep it. But no new Sarahs.

[Henry Zabrowski]

You know who I'm done with, really? Brandon.

[Ed Larson]

I'm definitely done with Brandon.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I think we hit our peak.

[Ed Larson]

I think Brandon's out.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I think we got enough Brandon.

[Ed Larson]

What about Brendan's?

[Henry Zabrowski]

That's not as we're gonna make.

[Ed Larson]

We're making enemies.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah, sure, sure.

[Ed Larson]

But get rid of what?

[Henry Zabrowski]

Brendan? Yeah, we're gonna make a Brendan an enemy.

[Ed Larson]

I know.

[Henry Zabrowski]

What's Brendan gonna do?

[Ed Larson]

And it doesn't seem very threatening.

[Henry Zabrowski]

No, I don't think that's renegade.

[Ed Larson]

But then we're gonna get like, you know, One of these 700 Marines is going to be a Brendan.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Hey, my name is Brandon. What's my pappy's name? He dead in Vietnam. His pep he did in the Korean War. I've come here to die in Los Angeles. I've come here to fight the war right here in Studio City.

[Ed Larson]

But Edith.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Edith is cute. I miss the old names. Yeah, I miss the old names. I miss Rodney. I miss a Roscoe.

[Ed Larson]

I love a Rodney.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Where's a Roscoe at?

[Ed Larson]

Who's got the to name their child Rodney?

[Henry Zabrowski]

Seriously, where are all the Rodneys? I want a little masculine child.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

To be named Rodney with a chain.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Or not. I think Rodney actually be a cute girl. So name.

[Ed Larson]

Why not?

[Henry Zabrowski]

That'd be a cute girl.

[Ed Larson]

Rodna. E e. Name's Rod.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I don't like Rod.

[Ed Larson]

I'm here to smoke cigarettes and lick ass.

[Henry Zabrowski]

You know the sign language word for. It's a picture of me.

[Ed Larson]

Oh, these are the most popular names. Olivia. I got a niece name.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Everybody's doing the Olivia. And the Sophie thing is big now. Huge. Also, Henry, Isabelle and I have a Ella. All right, now we're just in the. This is not radio.

[Ed Larson]

Elijah is number four.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah, I know Elijah. He's always missing. I don't know.

[Ed Larson]

Ezra.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah, that's a big thing now, too. We just got to move on. There's a big spike. There's a big spike in dumb names up in here. Ezra, honestly, is a very nice name. I am glad my buddy Craig son is named Ezra. He's actually very lovely. Not problem. Henry's also very big now.

[Ed Larson]

Henry's big now.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yes.

[Ed Larson]

Well, you've been big for a while.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Shut up. I.

[Ed Larson]

It's a reaction to medicine.

[Henry Zabrowski]

It's a reaction of medicine.

[Ed Larson]

That medicine is.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah, yeah. Sorry. You did first. That was better.

[Ed Larson]

All right, Henry. Well, I don't like talking about sad, but we've been doing it all day today. So you might.

[Henry Zabrowski]

What's sad about what we've been covering?

[Ed Larson]

You're right. It's all hilarious. Thank you. You. You know what? Forget it. I'm fine. Let's go home. One of our boys died. One of our true, like, as, like, as friends. One of our, like, idols died.

[Henry Zabrowski]

It was. It was one of those that I didn't even acknow I want to acknowledge yet, because it had made me very sad. But he also was probably next to George Clinton.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

One of the most formative voices in my brain. Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

No, so important. Of course, we're talking about Sly Stone passed away of Sly the Family Stone.

[Henry Zabrowski]

People don't probably even know. If you don't know who Sly Stone is, you probably do. He made some of the biggest, like, you know, very sampled songs.

[Ed Larson]

Everyday People, you know, all that good stuff. I mean. I mean, his albums were unbelievable. If you ever listen to Mama said knock you out, Family Affair is perfect. That album, Family Affair, There's a riot going on, is in my top five albums of all time.

[Henry Zabrowski]

It's wonderful.

[Ed Larson]

Is the only sad funk album.

[Henry Zabrowski]

And it's beautiful.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

People, like, forget, especially within funk, because I feel like funk, of all of the musical genres, is the most maligned. Right. I feel like a lot of people don't really. Except for Scar, because ska can go itself.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. What are we. What are you going to do? We're going to sit here and talk good about Scar.

[Henry Zabrowski]

But funk is one of those where people that get. Don't understand that you can have emotion in funk.

[Ed Larson]

Yes.

[Henry Zabrowski]

And that's what Sly Stone did. That's what Sly Stone and Parliament did. That was different than what anybody else.

[Ed Larson]

They were making statements without making statements. They were like making statements, but, you know, they were like, okay, we hear something very important for us to say, but also like, we need to party.

[Henry Zabrowski]

You have to party.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. Like, it's. That's what I love about funk. It's like we could acknowledge the madness, but remember, we have to party.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah. Because if we're not partying, do you understand?

[Ed Larson]

They win.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Well, also, we're going to die.

[Ed Larson]

Yes.

[Henry Zabrowski]

So at some point we're going to die. And you. Everybody on their deathbed, everybody says, I wish I had more fun. Like every single. Not Sly.

[Ed Larson]

Sly Stone did not say that.

[Henry Zabrowski]

No, I think he says, well, Sly was a very difficult man.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, well, he wasn't really, like, from what I know of him, he didn't have a bad reputation as like. Like an abuser or anything like that.

[Henry Zabrowski]

He was just a difficult. He was a perfectionist. A lot of drugs. Yes.

[Ed Larson]

He did lots and lots and lots of crack, you know, which is unfortunate.

[Henry Zabrowski]

He got really weird.

[Ed Larson]

And then when George Clinton got sober, he didn't really. He almost got sober a couple times. He ended up being homeless. He wrote some of the most influential huge songs ever. And he just had bad contracts and didn't. He didn't understand the concept of if your song is in a movie, you should get paid off of that. No, he never. He didn't understand that, like, when you look at everyday people, yes, it's in commercials and stuff like that, but if you just go to Spotify, it has 245 million listens. Like, that's like such a crazy number Demand. The fact that this man ended up homeless just shows, like, what happened and how bad things can be in, like, you know, in the record industry. But he made it some of the most beautiful music ever made. Dance to the music if you want me to stay thank you for letting me be myself which I love.

[Henry Zabrowski]

It's one of my best favorite songs in the summertime.

[Ed Larson]

I want to take you higher Que sera sera Obviously that's a cover. I love. Just like a baby I caught you smiling I love it again. Oh, my God, he's the best stand. You know it. Everything that that man put together died penniless. It's crazy.

[Henry Zabrowski]

It is so upsetting, so sad.

[Ed Larson]

It really is. But if you don't know his music, first of all, I don't know how, how, but just spend a day with those first six albums or five albums, they're back to back, amazing. Especially riot going on and stand or perfect.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Especially right now. This means something. So go and check it out. Sly Stone, they're one of the first.

[Ed Larson]

Groups to, like, really, like, half of us are white, half of us are black, half of us are chicks, half of us are dudes. And like, they were just like, we want everyone's in. We want everyone's infinite input. And it was like no one was doing that. And they did. And it was cool and it was awesome. And it seemed lame at first, and then time told because it was like, one of the most sampled artists in hip hop history. It's everything about Sly and what he did for music and just like, good times.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah, dude.

[Ed Larson]

Like, you know, like, he means so much to me. I just watched the new documentary that just came out.

[Henry Zabrowski]

It, like, just came out.

[Ed Larson]

It just came out. It's on Hulu Questlove.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Second movie.

[Ed Larson]

Movie. It's called Sly lives, unfortunately.

[Henry Zabrowski]

You know, George is all over it.

[Ed Larson]

He's interviewed all over it. It's a lot of fun. But, yeah, go check it out and make some. Make some time for Sly Stone this weekend before you go to the. The no Kings rally.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Did you hear that he might have had an affair with Doris Day? Oh.

[Ed Larson]

And that is why he made Que Sera Sera, which is a perfect version of that song. Oh, my God, I love that. And you know who else he was with for a while? Ruth Copeland, that P Funk backup singer who actually put out those two amazing albums with all of, like, P. Funk as her backing back.

[Henry Zabrowski]

If you guys understand anything about P Funk or, like, oh, they all, like. They put out so many different albums. They put different labels.

[Ed Larson]

They were. They would open for each other, so everyone would get paid twice. It was just like. It was kind of genius, but. And then Sly ended up opening for P. Funk when P Funk was on their stadium tour, which was. They were the first black stadium tour and he was their opener. Either way, an icon is passed, and if I didn't bring it up, I would be kicking myself. So if you don't know Sly and a Family Stone, just take some time.

[Henry Zabrowski]

But, Eddie, I think we'll be all right because we have Benson Boone. Let's move on. I ion Benson Boone. His is talentless. Let's get on. Anybody can flip. I could see. I. I saw the cheerleading. You ever watch the young ladies cheerleading expeditions? It's fascinating stuff, but they can get. Yeah, but they could. Anybody can flip. Anybody can flip. There you go. We got letters, some listener emails.

[Ed Larson]

What do they got to say now?

[Henry Zabrowski]

I went into a little bit of a research hole on the Glimmer, man. Oh, you did? I did.

[Ed Larson]

I immediately forgot it existed until right now.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Again, that was welcome.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

So I watched missing 41 1, the hunted done by David Paulides, who did missing 41 1. Now, for those of you that don't know, we've talked about missing 411 for a decade. It is about. Basically, David Paulides was a researcher that realized that the national park systems don't have a missing. They don't have a centralized missing persons report or. Or a data byte.

[Ed Larson]

That's where people go missing the most.

[Henry Zabrowski]

But it's. It's also considered to be this sort of like, weird legal, like, hazy zone between the park rangers and the police and what they're allowed to.

[Ed Larson]

Tree cops.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Tree cops. But the thing is, the tree cops, they are a lot of times operating at a 1975 technological level. Yes, you Know what I mean? So these guys are writing shit down. So that's where it started. Mysterious.

[Ed Larson]

If they're allowed to use paper or do they hear the tree scream?

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah, they like. I can't possibly write that down. I'll have to write it my own feces.

[Ed Larson]

An estimated 1,000 to 2,500 people go missing in national parks each year. Right?

[Henry Zabrowski]

We don't know. But the.

[Ed Larson]

That's a huge gap.

[Henry Zabrowski]

It is, it is. But missing 400, 1,000 or more than double. Yes, that's called statistics. But the, the missing 411 was always investigating the more mysterious ones. Like they always kind of had a series of parameters of like, you know, experience. Hunter goes missing, found in a different place, miles away from where they were found a lot of times either stripped from their strip naked or like Scuba.

[Ed Larson]

Diver found in tree.

[Henry Zabrowski]

So weird, you know, whatever. But then he, he did missing 411 the hunted, which is. It's starting to hedge into the area where he's like, it's aliens. Which I loved my aliens. But it's also like. I actually kind of like it better when it's even more missing. Mysterious. But since then, it had a whole thing on the Glimmer man, this idea of seeing a predator like thing. And I just wanted to read another email because I actually did receive about 15 glimmer mail. Glimmer Man. Glimmer mails. Glimmer males.

[Ed Larson]

Could you read them or were they face in and out?

[Henry Zabrowski]

No, the reason why, it's like I.

[Ed Larson]

Just sent by kid and ivory wings. Ah, yes.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Honestly though, the Steven Seagal Glimmer man doesn't hold up as well, I imagine. So that was a part of my research. It's not good. It's not a good film. He's at. He is at a. He's looking very pudgy in that movie.

[Ed Larson]

That's when it started.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah. It's when he really started becoming. I think it's called an eclair Lifestyle. Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

So this could have been called the Clamor Man. All the clams he was eating at the time.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Clams. More juice. More chocolate. More clam juice. All right, here we go. Here's an email. I was listening to the latest side stories and perked up immediately when you talked about the Glimmer Man. It immediately reminded me of the 2010 story of Jan Maccabee, wife to Muon state director of Maryland Bruce Maccabee. Bruce actually maintained a website for his ufological research and included a page on his wife's story. Unfortunately, it looks like the site was taken offline after 2016. But I'm including a link to his write up on archive.org what make Jan's story so interesting is she actually took a picture of what she saw. But the picture came out distorted and in a resolution her BlackBerry was incapable of being set to. Bruce had also had a BlackBerry suck with pictures.

[Ed Larson]

I remember, I remember my BlackBerry and I tried it. Every time I tried to take a photograph it was a goddamn disaster.

[Henry Zabrowski]

It's real stupid, right? So here's the write up that old Jan did. Oh, big bags Jan.

[Ed Larson]

I wasn't gonna say anything, but she's doing all right.

[Henry Zabrowski]

It was Wednesday, September 29th. The next to last day in September. Thanks and hustle. Hunting season for deer in Ohio was just four days old. I shouldn't read this whole thing.

[Ed Larson]

It's.

[Henry Zabrowski]

It's real bad. The day started cool and damp and then became a beautiful warm day with a nice sunset. Jan was anxious to been hunting. Her breasts were heaving and wet from the dew.

[Ed Larson]

So much exposition.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Her method of hunting consisted of waiting and watching while seated in his tree stand.

[Ed Larson]

Isn't that hunting?

[Henry Zabrowski]

The seat of her stand is at the top of a 15 foot ladder. Her seat in the northwestern corner of a many acre wide wood that is surrounded by a large planted field and low density residential areas. Her seat faces the east and is surrounded on all sides by trees. She didn't hunt in the morning, but she did climb up the 15 foot to clatter to the seat. To test the newly installed bow hanger. She took a picture of her bow hanging from the bow hanger. She took the picture with her black bear Pearl model 8130. All right, the phone records the chords, day and time of the picture. The spatial resolution, the total bite size.

[Ed Larson]

All right, Is that the picture, Rob?

[Henry Zabrowski]

This is a picture here of just the bow, right? And then there's, there's old sexy Jan, right? Jan's there looking a little bit like a. She's looking, getting a little bit like a Bill Belichick. But I like, I like her attitude, right? She's like a cross between Bill and George Gordon. She went to her tree stand about 5:30 and sat a squirrel. A squirrel was dropping nut pieces on her head and animals, birds and crickets were moving and making noise to occupy her time. She was texting, quote unquote, texting with her phone. A means of silent communication.

[Ed Larson]

You don't need to explain what texting is.

[Henry Zabrowski]

At about 6:21pm she decided to photograph herself from the tree Stand. She was finished facing east with the sun at her back. She held the camera above and to her left. The sun was behind her, low in the west with the light filtering through the tree branches. It's this picture here in which you get the side look of her jowls. Suddenly the woods went quiet. Noise stopped. The silent was weird. It so surprised and unnerved her that she wrote a text message to her friend. Something is wrong. Strong. The woods just went to a dead silence. No squirrels, no birds. 1. It's odd, she thought, a coyote or maybe a black panther. Some predator animal caused the quiet. As she knows, as hunters know, that when a predator such as a bear enter an area, the other animals tend to become quiet. Then she became aware that a weird visual effect was moving right towards her field of view at an apparent distance of maybe 15-20ft Feet. She said it looked as if she was looking through Saran Wrap. All right. She compared the distortion of the scene as being somewhat like the effect of the invisible creature in the predator movie. This distortion was at a higher altitude than her, about 15ft above the ground, perhaps. She was about. It was about 25ft off the girl above the ground. She took off her glasses and rubbed her right eye, thinking at first she had a floater, but after rubbing it, it was still there. It was not a floater.

[Ed Larson]

Floater, that's when a little dot is in your eye.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah. I get floaters. I get floaters.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

And she recalls it. She held the camera in her right hand about a foot and a half from her face, pointed the camera in the direction of the distortion and took a picture. As she recalls the picture, the picture.

[Ed Larson]

Was talking about taking a single picture for about half an hour.

[Henry Zabrowski]

The picture should show the nearby trees, but that's not what the picture shows.

[Ed Larson]

We don't need to read every.

[Henry Zabrowski]

It's that right there.

[Ed Larson]

It's this.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yep. It's a blur.

[Ed Larson]

It's a blur with hair.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Minute or so later, she took two more pictures of herself, one of which is shown below. Right here, you can see it. Nope, that's. That's just bushes. Hey, there she is. There she's.

[Ed Larson]

There's obviously her hair.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Her hair. Where's my jazz?

[Ed Larson]

This is obviously her own hair.

[Henry Zabrowski]

What I do to get my claws out.

[Ed Larson]

Do you think her tits got in the way of her photography?

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah, honestly, if you like. She took a picture through her. Her tits. After sitting for an hour and a half more, she left the tree stand about 7:45 and came to dinner with Our guests for the evening they were having beaver after dinner clicked on.

[Ed Larson]

She's in a tree lay down. Not a tree stand.

[Henry Zabrowski]

It's more of a tree sit down.

[Ed Larson]

Is there an end to the story?

[Henry Zabrowski]

Nope. At the end of this she didn't think to mention her strange experience. And then she said that she saw a Facebook message from one of her nephews. He said after they she had this weird sighting. We were playing tonight on the field and just as it was starting to get dark, a huge bright light appears over the field and begins to move sideways. Then in a matter of five seconds or so, it disappeared. Getting smaller almost every second. About five minutes later it reappeared. This time it was amber in color. I know four people who saw this. And according to an upper class men, you got to believe the seniors. The same thing happened last year and they actually stopped rehearsal. So this lady's saying that maybe it's connected to strange lights that they saw on the other side.

[Ed Larson]

How many like alien sightings or strokes?

[Henry Zabrowski]

5.5Out of 12.

[Ed Larson]

It's not what this made me think of. While we're rambling through this non coherent story, the is how much I would like to see. You remember the show To Catch a Predator?

[Henry Zabrowski]

Oh yeah.

[Ed Larson]

But like without Chris Hansen it is Predator. Predator.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I love this.

[Ed Larson]

Wouldn't that be great? I think we've.

[Henry Zabrowski]

This is the thing.

[Ed Larson]

I've talked to you about this idea before, but never into a microphone.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Predators.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. To Catch a Predator starring predator.

[Henry Zabrowski]

How to meet a Predator.

[Ed Larson]

Because a predator could throw its voice like as a little girl. Like the guy shows up.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Oh yeah.

[Ed Larson]

And it's just like come me, I just got out of the shot. Yeah, yeah. And then it's just like three lights like go on to his. On his forehead and his.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Edit that out, put that in your pocket. You just made yourself a million dollars at least. Yeah. Well, that story didn't convince anyone, but this next one will. This next story came as a result of us talking about penis implants.

[Ed Larson]

Oh, thank God. Now something I want to talk about.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Something really tangible. Paul. Paul got a penis implant. That's the title of the email. I was listening to side stories last week and my ears perked up. Same literal sentence as the other one.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

When Henry mentioned a particular kind of penile implant implant. The one with the boner button. Your balls. My paw. Paul got a penis implant of this kind. I think in his late 60s, around the year 2000. He was a married man for many decades at that point. My Nana N n Not Nana.

[Ed Larson]

Am I correcting me?

[Henry Zabrowski]

You're Nana.

[Ed Larson]

You did say it wrong. No, you didn't see it wrong. Yeah, Nana.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Nana sounds like. No, no, no, no.

[Ed Larson]

It's like, you don't want bananas.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I don't want my grand pudding.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

Well, I'm sorry, Yogurt. I didn't mean to step against you.

[Henry Zabrowski]

So here's Nana.

[Ed Larson]

Would you call your grandma Mimar?

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah. It was horrible.

[Ed Larson]

Worse. Yeah, Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I hated it.

[Ed Larson]

We were babu. I kind of like that.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Babu's cute.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, Babu's cute. It sounds like a cryptid.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Babu's like what I called Carlita's vagina.

[Ed Larson]

Carmelita.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

You call it a babu?

[Henry Zabrowski]

No, I call it a chuchi. Oh, a choose owner.

[Ed Larson]

Chooch. Nice. Yeah. Does it flip up and down like tootsies?

[Henry Zabrowski]

Moving on. Also in her 60s. Nan. That was.

[Ed Larson]

Oh, I thought you were talking about tootsies.

[Henry Zabrowski]

No, no, no. Still on her Now. Now. So apparently there was a palpaw. Had been a womanizer since the start of their marriage and had no intention of slowing down in his old age. He openly cheated on his nana. As Nana got older and sicker, when she was near the end, she told my mom that she hopes his pecker rots off Nana. Nana died a few months later after what she called her big nasty birthday when she turned 69.

[Ed Larson]

Sounds like there's lots of weird in this family. Also, is what he used to say when she would.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I got some sides. Pawpaw lived to be 89. For the last 10 years of his life, he was in and out of hospitals for recurrent infections, including mrsa. I know dia. He had even had a penis implant. But after a few years of infections, my mom finally spilled the beans. The button in his balls that controlled his erections was continually eroding through the sides of his balls. Nana had gotten her wish. I think he eventually had to have the implant removed so it stopped trying yet again to escape his barely healed testicles.

[Ed Larson]

Oh, my God.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Jesus Christ.

[Ed Larson]

Now that's a listener email.

[Henry Zabrowski]

That's what I like to hear. That's a real old fashioned. That's the Internet, baby. You got to live every day hoping for that big old papa who's got a penis implant email to come in. Because then you can laugh knowing that the audience is going to hear about Pawpaw's big, crooked, faulty penis implant. And then we're all gonna love the fact that we all want one, too.

[Ed Larson]

I wonder if that's what that birder got. Remember our falconer guy who The. For the soccer team in Italy who got the penis implant and they got trouble for taking a picture of it.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Well, now they have the app. You can use an app?

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. Oh, so you don't even need the button no more?

[Henry Zabrowski]

No, in Italy.

[Ed Larson]

Don't know how to use phones.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Honestly though, in Italy I think you do have to. Have to like, plate it with a. With a tube.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

You have to blow in to suck.

[Ed Larson]

Your own penis to get it off.

[Henry Zabrowski]

There he is. Oh, I remember. Ah, so happy. Standing in front of his. Sitting there with his erect penis like. It's a horrific flag. Yes. I'll always remember Bernardi. So funny. He's bad, though. He's not. No, he's a Nazi. He's a bad guy. He's a bad guy.

[Ed Larson]

We don't. We don't like him.

[Henry Zabrowski]

No, I love how happy he was with his penis, how satisfied he was with his penis. Yeah, here it is right there. Working just like. It's like I'm a try. Like I'm a child again. A nino. What a great day.

[Ed Larson]

God bless Italy.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Italy. What a fun time. He does have the button. Oh, wow.

[Ed Larson]

He does have the button.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah, he's got the. He says right here, I did it. I did it to perform like when I was young. My erection is natural, but with this device, I press a button that allows. Allows me to perfectly control both the erection and the time. I definitely see. What do you do then? You get wet every single time. You hear the. Oh, here comes my dickon. Here comes my dick and oh, here he's. Oh, yeah. Oh, my balls are. Got my dick caught on a. The dog leash.

[Ed Larson]

No, I don't have a needle for my pump.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Oh, damn, it's gonna run out of air mid.

[Ed Larson]

All right, let's end this show, please.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Patreon.com Last podcast buy it to watch us perform. You can see us live every 6pm PST on last stream on the left on our Patreon and then it goes to YouTube a couple days later. Speaking of the YouTube, go and subscribe to all of our various new programs and our YouTube channels. I know it sounds complicated, but we're trying to simple amplify it for you someplace underneath LBN Romantasy. Who's the be? Because we can't do a. We can't say on YouTube because God knows the foreign report. No dogs in space. And most importantly, LPN dash tv.

[Ed Larson]

That's right. You hear that? Other channels you're not as important as.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Tv, not as the big one. I Need you guys to go subscribe to the big one. It is legitimately free.

[Ed Larson]

I subscribe to all of them and it's nice because they're actually like transferring everything over and it premieres live. Like you're watching it like you know, like, you know, towards the end of the year they'll play like the whole season of a television show. It's kind of like what's happening on the YouTube channels right now. It's kind of fun. I actually watched some of the Romantasy last night.

[Henry Zabrowski]

It's good. Yeah, it's very funny. They will crack me up. I have no idea what they're talking about.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, you. It's interesting that you can watch your wife and your sister talk about.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I just can't really. I fast forward past Jackie. I try not to engage with Jeff.

[Ed Larson]

So few people like sponsor a show of their wife and sister talking about. About sex.

[Henry Zabrowski]

But they won't, they won't do it. They won't talk. Natalie refuses to believe. She refuses to reveal my secrets.

[Ed Larson]

What are they? Side story shows. We got some new ones on the books available today. That's Friday, July 11th in Salt Lake City at the Wise Guys Comedy Club. Thursday, August 7th, Asheville, North Carolina, Carolina at the Orange Peel. Sunday, September 21st, Kansas City, Missouri the Truman. October 24th, Redway, California Mattel Community Center. We're coming back you and Sunday, November 30th, Columbus, Ohio at the Newport Music hall starring Travis Irvine.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yes. And we will reveal did Travis go to Little Edward Island? Was he a part of the Epstein Reach inside of Columbus? And that is what aborted his run for governor.

[Ed Larson]

He does go to the Bahamas often.

[Henry Zabrowski]

He does. So we'll have to ask him live on stage.

[Ed Larson]

That's right. June 20th, the seance tune in. It's going to be amazing. And we're going to announce some tickets for people available on the Patreon. It's going to be a really weird event where I don't even know what the going to happen. I'm putting myself in Henry's hands and if I get a hitchhiker ghost and it haunts me, I'm going to kill you.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Can't wait. I dare you. Bye. Hail Satan.

[Ed Larson]

Bye bye everybody. Hail the Flat Creek Floyd.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Sure.

[Ed Larson]

In Sly Stone.