Last Podcast On The Left – Side Stories: Slide Stories

Date: September 10, 2025
Hosts: Henry Zebrowski & Ben Kissel

Overview

This episode of Side Stories dives into summer adventures and mayhem, focusing on Henry’s recent trip to the legendary Wisconsin Dells. The hosts explore absurd water slide incidents, small-town Midwest culture, the misadventures of suspicious weed procurement, infamous oddball news stories (including the recurring “Burbank butt sniffer”), macabre medical updates (including a surgeon who amputated his own legs for sexual gratification), the ethics of water-based “assault,” and listener stories about dog meat and colossal bodily functions.

With their trademark blend of dark, irreverent humor and offbeat insight, the episode veers from slapstick Midwest observations to jaw-dropping headlines—pausing for moments of gross-out detail and existential absurdity.

Main Segments & Key Points

1. Back from Break: Wisconsin Dells & Water Slide Culture

• [03:09] Henry recounts a trip to the Wisconsin Dells—described as “the Shangri-La of central Wisconsin” and “where the moneyed working people go to relax.”
• Jokes about “big backs” and body types:
  • Henry: “The more I work out, the more I look like a giant Balkan man on a farm” [02:32]
  • Ben: “These are people who can carry a refrigerator on their back.” [04:52]
• The wilderness resort has America’s largest interconnected water park—filled with “thick women” and “men who are muscular but drink and eat enough to still be fat.” [04:37]

Holden vs. The Slide

• [11:06–15:04] Story highlight: Holden McNeely, friend and performer, becomes a hero to his daughter by attempting a massive water slide.
  • The slide requires users to weigh under 250 lbs, and Holden, just over the limit, gets the red light.
  • Henry: “Nothing has made me laugh harder... It added years to my life.” [13:32]
  • Ben (on his own similar experience): “They wouldn’t let me on the Harry Potter ride at Universal because I was too fat. I lost 30 pounds. I rode that ride. It was great.” [13:42]
  • Discussion about the humiliation and existential crisis of being too heavy for Midwest slides:
    • “If we’re quibbling over a few pounds... maybe don’t do it!” [14:10]
• Midwest beer culture:
  • Killing a case of Spotted Cow (local beer):
    • Henry: “Me and Holden killed a case of 24 over two days.” [15:31]

2. Subtle Midwest Drug-Dealer Dynamics

• [07:14] Henry tries (and fails) to score “real weed” from a liquor store clerk in prohibitionist Wisconsin:
  • Embarrassing exchange reveals that he looks like “a narc,” a running theme:
    • Ben: “You look like a cop.”
    • Henry: “Is this what resting cop face is doing to me?” [07:22]
• Mild family debate: liquor store etiquette and Delta-9 THC laws.
• Ben: “There are certain rules in the Midwest you can’t fuck with.” [08:22]

3. The Burbank Butt Sniffer Is Back

• [17:44] The infamous “butt sniffer” is rearrested, allegedly for sniffing at a Walgreens.
  • Henry: “Kalise Karen Crowder loves the smell of a butt so much, it brings him to criminality.” [17:56]
  • Discussion about the legal conundrum—where does “butt sniffing” become chargeable if there’s no touching?
  • Theorizing punishments:
    • Henry: “He needs an iron mask on his nose.” [20:36]

4. Culture & Food Oddities: Virgin Boy Eggs

• [21:08–24:35] Henry reintroduces the “virgin boy eggs” story—Chinese eggs boiled in boys’ urine.
  • Unpacking the process, flavor, and cultural context in grim comedic detail.
  • Ben: “You know what’s even more disgusting... virgin man piss. Because those guys are gross.” [21:35]
  • Repulsion at the color and taste of these eggs, with Henry describing them as “what Mickey Rourke’s morning looks like.” [23:04]

5. Listener Stories: Poop, Fart, & Bodily Function Epics

• [28:15] Listener emails about “huge” bowel movements, mostly from women:
  • Woman describes a two-foot long turd while hiking:
    • Henry (reading): “Probably a two foot long turd.” [29:12]
  • Ben describes paintball-induced woods shits and friends shooting him with paintballs mid-defecation. [29:35]
  • Observations on the universality (and absurdity) of poop pride.

6. Doctors Behaving Badly

• [32:05–44:50]
  a. Dr. Neil Hopper – The Amputee Fetishist Surgeon

  • UK surgeon, obsessed with amputation, fakes necessity to get his own legs removed for sexual gratification.
  • Henry: “His feet were an unwelcome extra... a persisting, never ending discomfort.” [34:22]
  • Issue of consent, insurance fraud, and if being aroused by amputations makes him a better or worse doctor.
  • Ben: “If he’s horny for it, he’ll do a better job.” [37:55]
  • Humor about naming conventions: “Hopper,” “Bobber,” “Crawler.”
  • Philosophical tangent: "Do we really want doctors getting ‘revved up’ for work in this way?"

  b. Dr. Frédéric Péchier – The Thrill-Seeking Anesthesiologist

  • French anesthesiologist poisons patients to bring them to the brink of death, just to revive them for the thrill—killing 12.
  • Henry: “He liked bringing people directly to the edge of death, then kind of pushing them over the side.” [45:49]
  • Raises discussion of “God complexes” in the medical field and the riskiness of trusting “insane” doctors.

7. Water-Based Crimes & Suburban Discord

• Sprinkler Assault in Florida:

  • [47:42–51:05] A man sets up sprinklers to drench disabled neighbor children waiting for their school bus—twice a day for a year.
    • Ben: “He drenched them twice a day for a year.” [48:09]
    • The hosts are appalled at the cruelty; discuss how this called for “village justice.”
    • Henry: “That guy needs to get group beat.” [51:00]

• Raymond Cruz vs. The Hose Incident in Silver Lake

  • [55:47–60:40] “Tuco” from Breaking Bad arrested for spraying a woman with a hose while washing his car after asking her to move repeatedly.
    • Debate over: is spraying water assault?
    • Henry: “Any unwanted physical interaction—on the base level—is assault.” [56:57]
    • Ben: “If you ask three times and they don’t move, spray them.” [57:50]
    • Questions of harassment, suburban etiquette, and the burden of celebrity.

8. Listener Letters: Eating Dog in Korea & More

• [68:38–73:59]
  • Multiple correspondents describe eating dog meat in South Korea (sometimes unwittingly as children).
  • Details of the experience: taste, guilt, and cultural context.
    • Henry (reading): “The fat tasted exactly like a wet dog smells... no mental remove from the bowl in front of me and beloved memories with my childhood dog.” [71:56]
  • Discussion of new dog meat restaurants in Pyongyang and North Korea's need for protein sources.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Henry (on Midwest bodies):
  • "Thick women are beautiful. Men get big. And we... we were in the Dells." [04:34]
• Ben (on ceremonial slide humiliation):
  • “The fattest state in America told Holden he's too fat.” [14:41]
• Henry (on butt sniffing):
  • “Don’t make him monetize another habit.” [20:21]
• Henry (on amputee doctor):
  • “He gets up and looks at his nubs and goes... and I feel like I might be jealous of his happiness.” [35:21]
• Ben (on hospital horror):
  • “European doctors scare me. They’re always working on assassins for free.” [47:01]

Episode Tone & Style

• Language/Tone: Irreverent, dark, gross-out comedy, rapid-fire banter, peppered with blue-collar philosophy and gallows humor.
• Atmosphere: Casual, walking a line between relatable summer tales and bizarre, unsettling news.

Timestamps for Key Segments

• [03:09] – Henry’s Wisconsin Dells adventure & Midwest body types
• [11:06] – Holden vs. The Slide (“red light” shame)
• [17:44] – “Burbank butt sniffer” update
• [21:08] – Virgin boy eggs: horror in Dongyang
• [28:15] – Listener poop/fart stories
• [32:05] – Dr. Hopper: surgeon amputates his own legs
• [44:50] – Dr. Péchier: “Flatliner” anesthesiologist
• [47:42] – Florida sprinkler assault (disabled kids)
• [55:47] – Water hose “assault” in Silver Lake
• [68:38] – Listener tales of eating dog meat

Closing

The episode is a classic Side Stories blend of personal anecdotes, unspeakable news, scatological overshares, and philosophical musings on crime, justice, and the relative importance of feet. The hosts maintain a rowdy, judgment-free zone where even the grossest or weirdest human impulses (so long as they don’t hurt others) are met with sympathy and wry amusement.

“Love your nubs, dude. I’m gonna start saying that more—where’d you get your work done?” – Henry [67:57]