Side Stories: Squirrel Stories - Last Podcast On The Left

Summary4 min read

Last Podcast on the Left Episode: Side Stories: Squirrel Stories

Hosts: Andrew Zabrowski and Ed Larson
Podcast Description: The Last Podcast on the Left delves into the darkest corners of reality and imagination, exploring everything from demons and serial killers to cults and supernatural phenomena.

Introduction and Political Banter

The episode kicks off with Andrew and Ed engaging in their trademark humorous banter, mocking political figures and the tumultuous atmosphere surrounding election days. They specifically target Jill Stein and the Green Party with sarcastic remarks, setting a lighthearted yet cynical tone for the episode.

Andrew Zabrowski [00:02]: "There's no place to escape to."
Ed Larson [00:08]: "This is the last podcast on the Left side Stories."

Epstein Tapes and Political Conspiracies

The hosts delve into recent revelations about Jeffrey Epstein, focusing on newly surfaced tapes that suggest deeper connections between Epstein and former President Donald Trump. Andrew expresses skepticism about the validity of Epstein's claims, particularly regarding his relationship with Trump, while Ed humorously suggests musical collaborations to amplify the scandal.

Andrew Zabrowski [02:44]: "I have spent the several last days researching the newly revealed or partially revealed Epstein tapes."
Ed Larson [02:46]: "That should be our new national anthem."

Correction on Vincent Price's Sexuality

In a brief interlude, Andrew and Ed correct a previous misconception about the late actor Vincent Price's sexuality. They acknowledge that Vincent Price was indeed bisexual and highlight his contributions to LGBTQ+ advocacy, particularly during the HIV/AIDS crisis.

Andrew Zabrowski [09:45]: "Vincent Price is bisexual."
Ed Larson [09:46]: "He was."

Peanut the Squirrel: A Social Media Tragedy

A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to the tragic story of Peanut the Squirrel, a beloved social media star with nearly 800,000 Instagram followers. Peanut was euthanized after authorities seized him from his owner, Mark Longo, amid allegations that intertwine animal rescue with the owner's involvement in an OnlyFans account. The hosts discuss the complexities surrounding animal sanctuaries, social media fame, and potential misconduct.

Ed Larson [22:14]: "Social media star Peanut the Squirrel has been euthanized after being seized from a New York home."
Andrew Zabrowski [22:40]: "What did Peanut the Squirrel know?"

They further explore public reactions, including the introduction of "Peanuts Law," a humane animal protection act aimed at preventing the immediate euthanasia of sanctuary animals without a waiting period.

Andrew Zabrowski [30:00]: "So the cops went to like at first people, they're saying that they went in..."

Sovereign Citizens and Legal Anarchy

Andrew and Ed shift focus to the sovereign citizen movement, particularly highlighting a disturbing case in the UK involving the Federal Postal Court. This group, led by Mark Christopher, attempted to kidnap and kill Senior Coroner Lincoln Brooks under baseless accusations of human trafficking. The hosts criticize the ideology behind sovereign citizenships, emphasizing the dangers of such extremist beliefs.

Andrew Zabrowski [38:08]: "I love, you know me, you love your sovereigns... until they get really dangerous."
Ed Larson [44:25]: "Mark Christopher... is taking it upon himself."

Listener UFO Sighting Story

Towards the end of the episode, a listener recounts a personal UFO sighting from March 1998 in Lake Placid, Florida. The story mirrors the famous Phoenix Lights incident, describing a formation of bright lights moving silently across the sky. The hosts discuss the reliability of such memories and the enduring fascination with UFO phenomena.

Andrew Zabrowski [54:50]: "I have a story for the show about a UFO sighting..."
Ed Larson [58:14]: "But what did they look like?"

Conclusion

Andrew and Ed wrap up the episode by reinforcing the importance of critical thinking and skepticism, especially in an era rife with misinformation and conspiracy theories. They encourage listeners to remain vigilant and question the validity of sensational claims.

Andrew Zabrowski [49:34]: "You cannot 110% give in to any single ID."

Notable Quotes:

Andrew Zabrowski [02:44]: "I have spent the several last days researching the newly revealed or partially revealed Epstein tapes."
Ed Larson [09:46]: "He was [bisexual]."
Ed Larson [22:14]: "Social media star Peanut the Squirrel has been euthanized after being seized from a New York home."
Andrew Zabrowski [38:08]: "I love, you know me, you love your sovereigns... until they get really dangerous."
Andrew Zabrowski [54:50]: "I have a story for the show about a UFO sighting..."

This episode of Last Podcast on the Left traverses a diverse array of topics, from political satire and high-profile conspiracies to the emotional narrative of a social media animal star and the unsettling rise of extremist movements. Through a blend of humor and serious analysis, Andrew and Ed provide listeners with both entertainment and food for thought, urging discernment in the face of complex societal issues.

Loading summary

Transcript573 lines

[00:01]
Andrew Zabrowski
There's no place to escape to.
[00:03]
Ed Larson
This is the last podcast on the Left side Stories.
[00:09]
Andrew Zabrowski
That's when the cannibalism started. Side Stories. Yes. Another Jill Stein morning to wake up to. God damn. What an incredible day in the new Steinomaniac nation. I can't believe she earned the biggest surprise prize of all. Jumped ahead of both the two.
[00:37]
Ed Larson
God, I would love to candidates crawl inside of her.
[00:40]
Andrew Zabrowski
Jill Stein spent a week and a.
[00:42]
Ed Larson
Half with my head.
[00:43]
Andrew Zabrowski
Be my Jillian Stein.
[00:47]
Ed Larson
Yes.
[00:47]
Andrew Zabrowski
Yes. Scotty. What a new world to be in. Yeah.
[00:50]
Ed Larson
The Green Party for her bush. Ooh.
[00:52]
Andrew Zabrowski
Yeah. She dyed it. Yes. So she could feel young. Yes.
[00:55]
Ed Larson
She's got a fern between her legs.
[00:57]
Andrew Zabrowski
So she won't feel worse when she's having sex with the Grinch.
[01:01]
Ed Larson
Yes.
[01:02]
Andrew Zabrowski
Welcome to side Stories. Hail Jill Stein. I'm your host, Andrew Zabrowski. I'm sitting here with Ed Larson and what a hilarious day.
[01:11]
Ed Larson
Oh, my dear.
[01:11]
Andrew Zabrowski
To pre record a podcast.
[01:13]
Ed Larson
I know. Yes. This comes out on Wednesday.
[01:15]
Andrew Zabrowski
Yep, this does. And Wednesday is the day after America's election day. Closely watched by the entire world. Eddie.
[01:25]
Ed Larson
Oh, very nice. I remember being in a cab in New Zealand, Auckland. And then the driver was kind enough to ask me the great question. Are you voting for the orange man or the bitch?
[01:40]
Andrew Zabrowski
That is completely true. Other countries do it differently.
[01:46]
Ed Larson
They're supposed to be super sweet over there, too.
[01:49]
Andrew Zabrowski
They're not. It's a lie. Everybody. When we were in. It was. Especially in New Zealand. The big joke was that when Eddie and I were together, everybody would be like, so as you guns. I'm more like they're. They're home asleep with their minders. They actually had to take a break because of how much I was shooting them before I left.
[02:09]
Ed Larson
Yeah, I left them with the. Left them in the kennel.
[02:11]
Andrew Zabrowski
Yeah, they were there with Nanny, my gun nanny.
[02:14]
Ed Larson
I kissed him good night and I snuck out of the house. But I'll be back soon enough.
[02:17]
Andrew Zabrowski
They won't even know I'm gone. They have no sense of time. They can't wait to be fired again. But for those of you that you know, we're. We're here in a time of uncertainty, especially on Tuesday, election day. Yeah, we don't know what's going to happen. I am going to say I have spent the several last days researching the new. The newly revealed or partially revealed Epstein tapes from this reporter, Michael.
[02:44]
Ed Larson
That should be our new national anthem.
[02:46]
Andrew Zabrowski
I tell you what.
[02:47]
Ed Larson
Put a bead under it.
[02:48]
Andrew Zabrowski
Hot fire.
[02:49]
Ed Larson
Yeah.
[02:49]
Andrew Zabrowski
This Epstein spitting hot fire in these. I can't believe that this stayed underground. This should be fucking everywhere. Dua LIPA needs a sample.
[03:00]
Ed Larson
We get put. We get know what we do. Puffy does a beat on it.
[03:03]
Andrew Zabrowski
Oh, well, because also, please.
[03:05]
Ed Larson
Oh, yes.
[03:06]
Andrew Zabrowski
Before we even begin, you bring them up. I just want to say every. Guys. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday. Newly arrested, but not yet convicted, maybe serial human trafficker and music producer P. Diddy.
[03:34]
Ed Larson
Happy birthday to you.
[03:41]
Andrew Zabrowski
Yes. What a wonderful day to celebrate one of our favorite troubled producers birthdays.
[03:47]
Ed Larson
Yes. You know, if you want, you can go ahead and look at his family singing them Happy birthday. And they tagged a whole bunch of people in there, including Quincy Jones.
[03:58]
Andrew Zabrowski
Miss him too.
[03:59]
Ed Larson
Yes.
[04:00]
Andrew Zabrowski
Also died. Got out clean. Yes, got out clean. Can't believe it. Wow. Happy birthday, P. Diddy. See you in hell next year. Now go back to the Epstein tapes. Now they are. They were recorded, apparently about 100 hours of Epstein interview footage. The only.
[04:16]
Ed Larson
How have we never heard of any of it till now?
[04:18]
Andrew Zabrowski
Because Michael Wolf's a fucking Benedict Arnold and a traitor to the human race. And he's a reporter who has decided to save that material for his own podcast, Fire and Fury. And now what it seems to be is that one of the things that might seem to signal was that one of the major sources for his book Fire and Fury was Jeffrey Epstein, a about the insides of the Donald Trump White House, which shows that they were closer for far longer than our beloved former president wanted to say that they were and that they were best friends. According to Epstein, they were absolutely the closest friends possible for 10 years. And that he said, Donald Trump's not a nice guy.
[04:58]
Ed Larson
Yeah.
[04:58]
Andrew Zabrowski
And, you know, they had a falling out. I don't take Jeffrey Epstein's opinion, like, highly for a lot of things, except for masseuses, islands, and Donald Trump. So I feel like if you're going to believe him, I don't think his.
[05:11]
Ed Larson
Choice in islands isn't even that good. Yeah, no, it's. It's filled with pedophiles.
[05:16]
Andrew Zabrowski
I mean, that's the worst part. Never mind the birds. But no. Yeah. Hey, Eddie, that's not true. The. The pedophiles weren't indigenous too little to his island. They were flown in. They are an invasive.
[05:31]
Ed Larson
We're looking at a picture right now. Who's this with? With Trump.
[05:34]
Andrew Zabrowski
See, that is Melania. Really? Oh, yeah. She used to be very hot before she turned into a twisted crone of evality.
[05:40]
Ed Larson
I didn't even recognize her.
[05:42]
Andrew Zabrowski
Yes, no, she looked like that. She was purchased by Epstein and given to Trump. She is some form of spy for several countries. So is Epstein, Ghislaine Maxwell, certainly. Because now sitting in jail for Jeffrey Epstein and probably for Trump, because unfortunately, when Kamala Harris, I mean, when she wins on some level, I do believe that that is. That is certain she's going to end up pardoning him because I don't know. I don't know why they feel they need to do that. Yeah, yeah.
[06:08]
Ed Larson
Who's she going to pardon?
[06:10]
Andrew Zabrowski
Trump?
[06:11]
Ed Larson
Come on.
[06:11]
Andrew Zabrowski
Mark my words. No, she's definitely going to pardon Trump.
[06:14]
Ed Larson
She's a prosecutor.
[06:15]
Andrew Zabrowski
It doesn't matter.
[06:16]
Ed Larson
She loves putting people in prison. That's the whole thing.
[06:18]
Andrew Zabrowski
The problem with Democrats is they have this idea about precedent and the idea that you part because Nixon was pardoned. So I think they're going to end up doing the same thing.
[06:25]
Ed Larson
I can say I don't think Biden would have pirated them.
[06:27]
Andrew Zabrowski
I don't think Biden knows where his shoes are.
[06:30]
Ed Larson
If I was Biden, I would pardon my son immediately.
[06:33]
Andrew Zabrowski
Yeah, but that shows bipartisanship. And technically, Hunter Biden earned that jail sentence by being hilarious.
[06:39]
Ed Larson
Yes, I know.
[06:40]
Andrew Zabrowski
You know, like, Hunter Biden is awesome, all right, but he needs to serve a little jail time. He's going to get out and it's going to be even better.
[06:45]
Ed Larson
You think so? Yeah.
[06:46]
Andrew Zabrowski
He's going to be helpful. He's funny. He give television show or something. He needs a television show. I like Hunter Biden, you know who, back in the day, you know where Hunter Biden would have been? King qvc.
[06:56]
Ed Larson
Oh, my.
[06:57]
Andrew Zabrowski
If he had come back to QVC and did a whole line of like, you know, like, laptop. Oh, my God. Do laptop cases saying, like, don't open, you know, top secret. It's going to make so much money. Hunter Biden, look at these pictures of him on the beach. He's got a natural six pack. He looks fucking great. And then what we'll see is, I think that we're gonna have Hunter Biden in some sort of celebrity boxing match with Donald Trump Jr. And then hopefully Donald Trump Jr. Gets paralyzed in the middle of it. We'll find out. We'll find out. But obviously, I just want to make sure you guys understand that we talked about Epstein for a long time. We've been talking about PED now, which seems to be another one of these gigantic Sisyphean human trafficking cases involving politicians. And. And it's just more of it right now until I see footage of Kamala Harris inside of one of these giant infrastructures. Pedophilia. So far, she's fine.
[07:51]
Ed Larson
So far, yes.
[07:52]
Andrew Zabrowski
And so we'll find out. But I think that as soon as your. How do you put it, Don Cheadle. Yeah. Didn't deserve to be lumped in because he took one plane. One time. One time on the Epstein planes.
[08:05]
Ed Larson
Was on the.
[08:06]
Andrew Zabrowski
Oh, one of them. Yeah. He would. Famously would. Epstein would do.
[08:09]
Ed Larson
Lots of people were on the plane.
[08:11]
Andrew Zabrowski
Exactly. That's what. That's how he muddied the water. That's what he did to make it seem really, really difficult to parse who was a criminal and who was not. That's the reason why what he did was that on top of his gigantic. This is Jeffrey Epstein on top of his gigantic pedophile cabal, he also gave millions and millions of dollars to extremely important scientific study, like, you know, like Harvard and Princeton. He gave money all over the world. So he became this benefactor to science as well. Then also implicating all of them in his crimes as well, which also allowed them to maybe slow the roll on talking about how bad of a person Jeffrey Epstein was.
[08:46]
Ed Larson
Oh, so that's good that he did that.
[08:53]
Andrew Zabrowski
It's complicated because partially it was about Epstein saving his com so he can make a race of super babies in the future.
[08:59]
Ed Larson
Yes.
[09:00]
Andrew Zabrowski
His belief that he could save his own dick and head.
[09:02]
Ed Larson
Do you still have his come.
[09:05]
Andrew Zabrowski
I have some, but there's only. Because people sent it to me, I didn't buy it.
[09:07]
Ed Larson
Yeah. Get it frozen in autographs.
[09:09]
Andrew Zabrowski
Yes, it is in. I have it in an ice cube tray in my freezer. But I. Otherwise. No, that's kind of what he. He was in the transhuman movement, the idea of delimiting aging. Because Epstein thought he would live in the future, in space, in a wh. House on the moon. Ah.
[09:25]
Ed Larson
You know, growing up, I knew this kid named Jeffrey Epstein. I just feel so bad for him.
[09:29]
Andrew Zabrowski
Did he move to New York? He was older. He's older than us. But then, yeah, we'll. We'll see how this all goes. But it's certainly not anxiety inducing at all. Now the next big thing I want to bring up is an apology and a correction. Vincent Price.
[09:45]
Ed Larson
Yeah.
[09:46]
Andrew Zabrowski
He's bisexual.
[09:47]
Ed Larson
He was. I was right.
[09:48]
Andrew Zabrowski
And some people said he was famously bisexual, but obviously not, because I didn't know.
[09:52]
Ed Larson
I mean, I knew and so. And you know a lot more about this stuff than I do.
[09:56]
Andrew Zabrowski
I don't know as much about ass eating as you did in that moment, but you were corrected.
[10:00]
Ed Larson
I don't think he ate ass I.
[10:01]
Andrew Zabrowski
Think that if you were back in the day, if you're not eating ass, what are you?
[10:04]
Ed Larson
I mean, he. I think his mustache is too tiny.
[10:07]
Andrew Zabrowski
I thought the mustache is what made it tickle a little bunny rabbit's head. No, he. Yeah, straight up bisexual.
[10:19]
Ed Larson
Look at him.
[10:20]
Andrew Zabrowski
According to this, he shared anecdotally that his first two wives divorced him because they weren't comfortable with his sexuality. His third wife, Coral Brown, was also openly bisexual, and the two remained married until her death. Ooh. They were a team. Price served on the board of P FLAG after his daughter came out as a lesbian. And he was one of the first actors to publicly spread awareness about the HIV AIDS epidemic. So, yeah, he's sucking dick. He's eating scrum, he's licking and he's ass. God bless Vincent Price.
[10:51]
Ed Larson
All over the place.
[10:52]
Andrew Zabrowski
I love this guy. Love this guy. That makes me like a. More obviously.
[10:55]
Ed Larson
Obviously.
[10:56]
Andrew Zabrowski
I like. I like anybody. That's the equal opportunity. Get two dicks in there and a on his butt.
[11:01]
Ed Larson
I mean, probably why he was forced to do horror movies. What? Well, because if he was, like, openly gay in Hollywood back then, he wouldn't have put him in a real movie.
[11:09]
Andrew Zabrowski
No, it was the only place that allowed him to truly reach the edges of his performance. Also, he. I think that it was because he was a leading man in that world and he identified with horror. Like, he wasn't. Like, he wasn't like a lot of people that get into horror and then resent it immediately. There's a lot of actors that do that. They make their nut in horror and then they're like, I'm more than horror. And then they want to get out of it. Vincent Price was not like that.
[11:33]
Ed Larson
No, he was down all the way through to Thriller.
[11:35]
Andrew Zabrowski
Yeah, he understood what was going on, and, yeah, he rapped for Michael Jackson.
[11:39]
Ed Larson
Oh, House of Wax. Your place. Your home is like the house of flax.
[11:44]
Andrew Zabrowski
It is, yeah. Because I do eat a lot of flax, but I haven't eaten as much because I've been eating more. I got some of that kefir.
[11:49]
Ed Larson
Kefir's great. I got that.
[11:50]
Andrew Zabrowski
And I mix that in with my chia seeds.
[11:53]
Ed Larson
I'm out of chia seeds.
[11:54]
Andrew Zabrowski
You got to go get them. I've been through the whole gallon. You believe that? Yeah, dude. No. I'm blowing through these things. That's how much of a fucking cuck I am.
[12:00]
Ed Larson
I got, like an inch on my vertical.
[12:02]
Andrew Zabrowski
I ran out of chia seeds. I went to the grocery store to vote for Kamala Harris on the way. That's how much of a cuck I've become, man.
[12:08]
Ed Larson
I was.
[12:09]
Andrew Zabrowski
I used to be a no rules, pork fat, cigarette smoking, no voting piece of.
[12:15]
Ed Larson
That's right.
[12:16]
Andrew Zabrowski
And man, look at me now.
[12:17]
Ed Larson
Look at you now. You're still a piece of. Yeah, no, I went and bought some chia seeds at Kelson's and man, they were expensive.
[12:25]
Andrew Zabrowski
They are.
[12:26]
Ed Larson
You pay for each seed there. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[12:29]
Andrew Zabrowski
That's how you know it's good that. That we got. Someone also brought up the. A bit of an update on the story about the poor young girl Gursamaran Kur got trapped in the Walmart oven. They're saying that a couple of things are a bit hinky with the story is the fact that it happened at midnight and she had no backup. Essentially what they are talking about is that this is.
[12:52]
Ed Larson
Somebody would have to turn the thing on.
[12:54]
Andrew Zabrowski
It sounds like everything that could go wrong went wrong while they were understaffed. And so what it sounds like they have been specifically understaffed for a while. A lot of people kind of pointed towards that. It seems to be sort of a sentiment of immigrants doing twice the work that they're supposed to be doing in these stores essentially because of weird, you know, like societal, racial, racist implications and that maybe they were kind of left to their own devices at night. And sounds. She should not have been alone in that back area. They were never supposed to have been alone. And so she fell into it. So it could have been some massive, horrible, horrible accident.
[13:33]
Ed Larson
And of course people are also claiming that it could be murder.
[13:36]
Andrew Zabrowski
Of course, much like the other update we had where that murder was based on the bear. That dude.
[13:41]
Ed Larson
Oh, please.
[13:42]
Andrew Zabrowski
One last little. One last little update here, which is a really, really arfed. But the. The guy that we thought got murdered by a bear, unfortunately, now we. We know that immediately. Well, it was dude the person. Yes, we know someone. The man that got murdered, Dustin Kersum, he was murdered and they found a beer can right by the scene that they labeled for deer. They checked for DNA and they immediately caught the dude. A guy by the name of Darren Christopher Abbey. He was immediately nabbed for this crime. So, hey, cops are working.
[14:18]
Ed Larson
Yeah.
[14:18]
Andrew Zabrowski
Doing their job.
[14:19]
Ed Larson
They got him. Got him. Man. You know, I just like you kill someone with an ax and chug a beer and toss it on the ground.
[14:26]
Andrew Zabrowski
Hey, I mean, if I kill somebody with an axe, I'm gonna need a beer.
[14:30]
Ed Larson
Yeah, I know, but do it at home. Home.
[14:31]
Andrew Zabrowski
Yeah, that's the thing. Yeah, Save it for the car. Yeah, the car ride home. If you're already, if you killed somebody with an ax, you're allowed to have one beer while driving.
[14:39]
Ed Larson
Yeah.
[14:40]
Andrew Zabrowski
Because you already done it. You've already done horrible things.
[14:43]
Ed Larson
Just imagine getting a DUI after murder like on top of your murder charge.
[14:48]
Andrew Zabrowski
Maybe the DUI could get you out of the murder because then you could be like, oh man, I was too busy getting processed. I couldn't be in there. Then all of a sudden, yeah, you got the dui, but you got Scott got off scot free for murder. Maybe this is an excellent tip. Yeah, for murderers.
[15:02]
Ed Larson
I also have a small update that I found today. We're talking about mosquitoes recently and whether we should get rid of them or not. But scientists make a shocking discovery about mosquitoes. If the males are deaf, they don't mate.
[15:16]
Andrew Zabrowski
Wow.
[15:17]
Ed Larson
Yeah, yeah, yeah. So if they can't, if they have no sense of hearing, they don't mate.
[15:21]
Andrew Zabrowski
And so let me give you a little piece of advice. To the mosquitoes, all you got to do is you don't need to hear. Just go, yeah baby. Wow, that does sound crazy.
[15:30]
Ed Larson
Well, too bad the ones that need to hear it won't.
[15:32]
Andrew Zabrowski
But I'm saying that if you say like you don't know you're being talked to by a lady mosquito, do you.
[15:36]
Ed Larson
Think you're trying to just have sign language?
[15:38]
Andrew Zabrowski
I don't know. But you send it like ladies keep. You can read lips. They can read the little like mosquitoes.
[15:42]
Ed Larson
Oh yeah. The little long snaps. But doesn't even matter which.
[15:46]
Andrew Zabrowski
In order to get laid, you got to do the thing. We go, yeah baby, yeah. She's crazy. Oh yeah, baby. That sounds. Wow. Wow, that. What a horrible day at work. Can I. Do you need a massage?
[15:55]
Ed Larson
What's your major?
[15:56]
Andrew Zabrowski
That's all you need. You don't need to actually hear. Think about that. Male mosquitoes.
[16:01]
Ed Larson
Yeah, but they say eliminating mosquitoes sense of hearing could be the key to eliminating mosquito borne diseases such as yellow fever and Zika. Whatever happened to Zika?
[16:13]
Andrew Zabrowski
You know, I don't know.
[16:15]
Ed Larson
I miss Zika.
[16:16]
Andrew Zabrowski
Have we seen any Zika babies recently? Can we get them up on the show?
[16:19]
Ed Larson
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do we?
[16:20]
Andrew Zabrowski
How are the Zika babies voting?
[16:22]
Ed Larson
Yeah.
[16:23]
Andrew Zabrowski
Have we got as the polling gotten to the Zika babies?
[16:26]
Ed Larson
Yeah, I don't think they're 18 yet.
[16:28]
Andrew Zabrowski
No, maybe not.
[16:30]
Ed Larson
No.
[16:30]
Andrew Zabrowski
But if you got it, whatever happened to Zika?
[16:32]
Ed Larson
Yeah.
[16:32]
Andrew Zabrowski
The Atlantic says it's an article from that says whatever happened to Zika? Like it was just some lady.
[16:37]
Ed Larson
Yeah, yeah. You think you're old now? Remember them? Zika and it's just like a. Yeah.
[16:44]
Andrew Zabrowski
Where are they at now? Zika babies. Oh, my God. They were on Dancing with the Zika babies. I didn't even know that was a show. That's amazing.
[16:54]
Ed Larson
All right.
[16:55]
Andrew Zabrowski
Oh, yeah. It persists at low levels in several countries still. Zika's around.
[16:59]
Ed Larson
All right.
[17:00]
Andrew Zabrowski
Don't worry. You can still get Zika.
[17:01]
Ed Larson
Okay, good.
[17:02]
Andrew Zabrowski
But it just makes the babies. It makes the baby's head smaller, which is, you know, it's not good.
[17:06]
Ed Larson
But, I mean, I ain't having kids.
[17:08]
Andrew Zabrowski
Exactly.
[17:09]
Ed Larson
I'll take Zeke's.
[17:10]
Andrew Zabrowski
But I think you can get. You get sick too.
[17:11]
Ed Larson
I think I'm fine. I'm gonna say I'm good.
[17:14]
Andrew Zabrowski
You go right now.
[17:15]
Ed Larson
I don't know if it's true or not.
[17:16]
Andrew Zabrowski
You got that Zika.
[17:17]
Ed Larson
I. Man, it's expensive.
[17:19]
Andrew Zabrowski
Yeah, dude, tell me about it. Tell me about it.
[17:22]
Ed Larson
Fly from your grave. Hey, everybody. How you doing? Did you have a rough election night? Did you get hammered? Well, if you wanted to go to work the next day, you should have had yourself some Zbiotics pre alcohol probiotic drink. It's the world's first genetically engineered probiotic. And you know what? It saved my tush. I had to come in and record for last podcast on the left the day after the election. And if I didn't drink my Zbiotics pre alcohol probiotic drink, I would have been. Can I say screwed? Sure. I would have been screwed. Fired, maybe. Ed, leave the room. You're sweating again. You smell like a pig. You smell like the outside of the pig. Are you a cooked man? No, I wasn't. I was fine. I came into work and I did my job. You know why? Because when I got hammered on election night, I took Zbiotics and it got me back to work like a real man. And with their GMO technology, Zbiotics is continuing to invent probiotics that help with everyday challenges of modern living. Go to ZBiotics.com last to learn more and get 15% off your first order. When you use last at checkout, ZBiotics is backed with 100% money back guarantee. Remember to head to ZBiotics.com last and use the code last to check out for 15% off and save your brain.
[19:07]
Andrew Zabrowski
This podcast is brought to you by Squarespace. Squarespace is the all in one website platform for entrepreneurs to stand out and succeed online. Whether you're just starting out or managing a growing brand, Squarespace Makes it easy to create a beautiful website. You're going to love it. Introducing design intelligence from Squarespace. Combining two decades of industry leading design expertise with cutting edge AI technology to unlock your strongest creative potential. As a man who's been shilling horse picks for up to three years, I am ready to retire. And I hope that using Squarespace I can help give my empire to one little boy. Because it takes the imagination of a child to think of all the different ways horses can be pictorialized. Like the Glenn Close horse from that movie where she's got the big crazy hair and she kills the rabbit. Or you got the Mario brothers horses. I'm saying I need a child to replace me, please. There any children out there that want to purchase my website? It's so well made on squarespace.com check out squarespace.com for a free trial when you're ready to launch squarespace.com left to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Ho ho ho. The holiday season is just around the corner, little girl. And we're all looking for ways to spend and stress less. Like me, I'm eating my reindeer because I found out their meat is succulent and delicious. But since I've already run out, it's time for me to get Hello Fresh. Oh so much blood. Hello Fresh Makes meal time nearly hassle free with delicious home delivered chef crafted recipes that come together quick and are less expensive than takeout. And it's nice cause it give time for Mrs. Claus to shop for lingerie. Oh yes, thank you. Hello fresh. I know when I'm looking upon my elves practically making toys it shirtless down to the waist. I know I'm watching the finest toy making professionals in the world. And I don't need to worry about my factory because it's in good hands. While I'm eating. Hello Fresh. Watching, watching through the cameras, watching as they work. Oh, Mrs. Claus is here. Time to wrap up the commercial. Get 10 free meals@hellofresh.com free LPOTL applied across seven boxes. New subscribers only. Varies by plan. That's 10 free hello Fresh meals. Just go to hellofresh.com free LPOTl. All right, we got it right. So that was like we did some updates, we got some stories. Now one story is truly, honestly the selection of like a lot of stuff's kind of come out. There's been a lot of information. Yeah, yeah. Between the Epstein tapes, between again Hunter Biden's laptop, between obviously Donald Trump, you know, was a pedophile and a Rapist and a criminal and a liar and stuff like that and a lot of kind of evidence. But one story I save liar for.
[22:14]
Ed Larson
Last was the worst one.
[22:15]
Andrew Zabrowski
I mean, the worst part is it is the way he dresses is the hypocrisy. The hypocrisy. Always the hypocrisy. But then. But there's a story that cuts through all the noise on one of the most, like, wacky days I've ever been. And through as a person, we are in it, buddy. So please.
[22:33]
Ed Larson
Eddie, Social media star Peanut the Squirrel has been euthanized after being seized from a New York home.
[22:41]
Andrew Zabrowski
And not only was he seized it, he had a little hat on.
[22:46]
Ed Larson
Yeah, well, that's. That's his most famous photo. He's. Yeah, he is right now currently almost at 800,000 followers.
[22:55]
Andrew Zabrowski
Well, holy.
[22:56]
Ed Larson
On. On Instagram.
[22:57]
Andrew Zabrowski
Is that not too big to be assassinated in this world? What is he? Is he the Epstein?
[23:02]
Ed Larson
The government?
[23:03]
Andrew Zabrowski
What did he know?
[23:04]
Ed Larson
Yeah, him.
[23:04]
Andrew Zabrowski
What did the Peanut the Squirrel know?
[23:06]
Ed Larson
He was seven years old.
[23:08]
Andrew Zabrowski
Whoa.
[23:09]
Ed Larson
It's pretty old for a squirrel, right?
[23:10]
Andrew Zabrowski
He's burning around a long time. You probably saw a lot of those peanutty parties.
[23:13]
Ed Larson
Yeah, yeah.
[23:14]
Andrew Zabrowski
So you ever been to a peanut party? Peanutty back in the day, gerbils all covered in oil.
[23:19]
Ed Larson
Yeah.
[23:20]
Andrew Zabrowski
Little hamsters getting gang banged by two Datsuns. Peanutty parties are off the limb, dude. Things are out of control, man. Almonds everywhere.
[23:34]
Ed Larson
So Peanut the squirrels, I'm not gonna say they call them owner, but I don't. You know, I think more of like life partner.
[23:43]
Andrew Zabrowski
No one owns a squirrel.
[23:45]
Ed Larson
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You're not allowed to. Mark Longo. So his house was raided and they came and they took Peanut the squirrel. And then they also took. I think he had a raccoon named Fred. I think is. I think was the raccoon's name. And they took both of them and they euthanized them when they wanted to test for rabies.
[24:07]
Andrew Zabrowski
No, I did not know that. They have to just hack them up into salsa in order for them to check to see that they have rabies or not.
[24:12]
Ed Larson
It's actually. No, it's actually like a. Like a sausage grinder. And they put it in tail first so they can hear it scream.
[24:18]
Andrew Zabrowski
Definitely. That's how you know if it has rabies or not that long. Screaming. Now I heard that you taste it and you see.
[24:24]
Ed Larson
You wait months and you see if you get raped, get sick. Yeah.
[24:27]
Andrew Zabrowski
Well, apparently the main issue was that it bit one of the police officers. They tried to take it out of its house. Yes.
[24:32]
Ed Larson
You don't grab a man squirrel and expect not to get bit.
[24:35]
Andrew Zabrowski
This is the things. How did we get here? Yeah, how did we get here? So the cops went to go. Like at first people, they're saying that they went in, Right. Because these, the squirrel and the raccoon are illegal for them to have. And they decided that they were living out loud too much. Right. The idea is that they have been throwing their squirrel based lifestyles in the faces of over 800,000 people.
[24:57]
Ed Larson
Well, there's also Peanuts Freedom Farm, which is these people, they have a rescue. A rescue farm with lots of horses and ponies and so the squirrel was rescued.
[25:07]
Andrew Zabrowski
I know that this Peanut the squirrel was rescued.
[25:09]
Ed Larson
Yes. Because he saw the mom get hit by a car. Yeah, mark. Mark Longo.
[25:14]
Andrew Zabrowski
DeMarc Longo is the owner and then custodian of the peanut.
[25:18]
Ed Larson
And he saw Peanut's mom get hit by a car. And then he was like, oh my God, we got find this mom's baby squirrel. And he found Peanut the squirrel and he rehabilitated Peanut the squirrel, raised it and then released Peanut the squirrel in his backyard. And then the next day, Peanut the scroll showed up back with half his tail eaten off.
[25:34]
Andrew Zabrowski
No, I mean, that's the problem. Sound like he was bad at it.
[25:36]
Ed Larson
Yeah, so. So he was. He decided that Peanut was then going to be a indoor squirrel.
[25:42]
Andrew Zabrowski
You know, and I don't know, how would they. How would the police even know that he had an indoor squirrel to come take?
[25:49]
Ed Larson
Well, the police were. Raided the house. They TMZ reports that the authorities were after pornography and not animals when they raided the house. And the animals just happened to be in the house.
[26:01]
Andrew Zabrowski
So the. All right, so what we now know, the main twist.
[26:04]
Ed Larson
Yes.
[26:05]
Andrew Zabrowski
Is that Mark Longo and his wife have an only fans channel.
[26:07]
Ed Larson
Yeah. And they bang on only fans and take money. And also, if you go to Peanut the Squirrel's Instagram account and you watch a lot of these videos, I will say Peanut the squirrels in a lot of the videos. But so is Mark Longoscock.
[26:21]
Andrew Zabrowski
Oh, yes. There is a.
[26:22]
Ed Larson
He's wearing a. It's very present.
[26:23]
Andrew Zabrowski
He's wearing a lot of gray sweatpants. There's a lot of crotch forward material.
[26:28]
Ed Larson
Yeah. There's the. The squirrel jumps on his ass a lot.
[26:31]
Andrew Zabrowski
Yeah, you could see that. He's definitely like.
[26:33]
Ed Larson
It's definitely a side. It's definitely like, okay, here's Peanut the squirrel. But I also have an only fan.
[26:37]
Andrew Zabrowski
I have a huge. Yeah. And so I Mean there's nothing wrong with them having this job. They are sex workers. They're allowed to do it. They're rehabilitating squirrels and they are for money. But apparently someone dec. That was I guess inappropriate because they also sometimes watch kids. Sometimes they.
[26:55]
Ed Larson
Yes. They also babysit for some of those neighbors children.
[26:59]
Andrew Zabrowski
So what they got was Karen.
[27:00]
Ed Larson
Yes.
[27:01]
Andrew Zabrowski
So the Karen called the police on them because they found out that they were got their kids were being watched by two people with an only fans channel.
[27:09]
Ed Larson
We don't even know who called it or nothing. None of that's been released.
[27:12]
Andrew Zabrowski
This is completely my call.
[27:13]
Ed Larson
This is a theory.
[27:14]
Andrew Zabrowski
This is a theory. And that they got angry when they found out. I mean he's got a huge johnson. He really.
[27:20]
Ed Larson
Yeah. He's showing it all the time.
[27:21]
Andrew Zabrowski
To be honest, I would kind of feel weird dropping my kids off after watching the God. Watching his huge fucking dick flop up.
[27:26]
Ed Larson
And down a squirrel with a waffle on his shoulder.
[27:28]
Andrew Zabrowski
Only just because. And a huge fucking. The fucking massive pointed out of his gray sweatpants.
[27:33]
Ed Larson
There's no way you can't notice the cock. As someone who doesn't try to look for. It's right there.
[27:39]
Andrew Zabrowski
It's mostly just because if I was the father it'd be more like I don't want you to get used to looking at this child and thinking that's what fathers have.
[27:46]
Ed Larson
Yeah, yeah. Exactly. Yeah.
[27:48]
Andrew Zabrowski
So it's like a high level for a child. But do understand in some ways I don't actually understand. It's just. It's out of sheer ignorance that they don't understand that you can be both like an only fans person and not a pedophile. Right. Absolutely. You can just do that without he slipping.
[28:01]
Ed Larson
It's his wife.
[28:02]
Andrew Zabrowski
And the big key here is that. Yeah. Which is the lamest of only fans by the way. I want you to understand how lame that is for a married couple that.
[28:08]
Ed Larson
I think of dude jerking off by himself is lamer than by far.
[28:13]
Andrew Zabrowski
Yes, correct. That is the.
[28:15]
Ed Larson
I think that is worse.
[28:16]
Andrew Zabrowski
You are absolutely correct. Yes, yes, yes. And so I will say a guy.
[28:21]
Ed Larson
Ram in a dildo in his ass. Way cooler than both of those.
[28:25]
Andrew Zabrowski
I mean did It's. You're obviously here for the. For work.
[28:28]
Ed Larson
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
[28:29]
Andrew Zabrowski
I mean if you're pegging yourself on camera. You're doing the work.
[28:33]
Ed Larson
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[28:34]
Andrew Zabrowski
You know you're getting there. It's the same as the coal mines from our great grandfather.
[28:38]
Ed Larson
It takes an athlete.
[28:39]
Andrew Zabrowski
It does. It does. Because you got to get back There, I can't do it. I, I, I rip up my colon.
[28:43]
Ed Larson
Well, you could, you could always put it, you know, to get the suction cup, one, jelly it up, throw it in the end of the bathroom.
[28:48]
Andrew Zabrowski
I feel like I just hurt myself, to be honest. I don't know what I'm doing. But that, but again, the issue is, is that people can't parse the idea that people can be both sex workers, rehabilitate animals and not pedophiles. Correct. So somebody saw all of this at once, decided they were pedophiles. Unless it does become revealed that they shot child exploitation material. Right. Which is the actual, which would be an actual issue.
[29:12]
Ed Larson
But none of that is even.
[29:14]
Andrew Zabrowski
And if that's not remotely on the table, if you're just looking for a married couple on camera, then good luck police office. And then, yeah, you might get bitten by their fucking squirrel. It's like, why are you in my house? And then they wipe out fucking Peanut the squirrel and Fred the raccoon.
[29:28]
Ed Larson
Yes. Yeah, they fucking iced them. And now there's a GoFundMe set up. But we were talking about this earlier. Go Fund. So much money goes through GoFundMe.
[29:36]
Andrew Zabrowski
So much money.
[29:37]
Ed Larson
I don't, I don't even understand it. But now there's a. In honor of Peanut and Fred, support Peanuts Freedom Farm. Now, Peanuts Freedom Farm is the place where they have all these animals and stuff like that. So far they've raised $203,000.
[29:51]
Andrew Zabrowski
I will say, though, we don' really know. We want the money to be going to the Peanuts Freedom Farm. And we cannot necessarily say we support this full throatedly because I have no idea if there's money.
[30:00]
Ed Larson
I give a shit if you give them money or not.
[30:02]
Andrew Zabrowski
Yeah, obviously I don't care.
[30:03]
Ed Larson
I don't care at all if you give Peanuts Farm.
[30:05]
Andrew Zabrowski
Peanut's gone now, so it doesn't even really matter.
[30:07]
Ed Larson
Yeah, Peanut, I mean, what, what was he really doing to help the farm anyway, other than being an Internet star?
[30:13]
Andrew Zabrowski
I mean, I think that's what he.
[30:14]
Ed Larson
Think that was doing the heavy lifting. Oh, definitely on Peanut's Instagram account.
[30:19]
Andrew Zabrowski
It's very possible, but I don't think.
[30:20]
Ed Larson
Peanut really, I mean, lots of people got squirrels.
[30:22]
Andrew Zabrowski
I don't want to blame Mark Long. I think in some, Unless again, something more nefarious comes out. I think that he was doing the best he could for these animals and he just was that. But that's how you make money. There's not a lot of money in a rehabilitation center for. Unless you have it a petting zoo adjunct or something else attached to it. Unless you have money going there, you know on the social media, I mean peanut 800,000. You're making a couple of bucks.
[30:44]
Ed Larson
Yeah. A month. So a New York politician has now introduced Peanuts law which says officials.
[30:54]
Andrew Zabrowski
To you can't legally kick a football.
[30:57]
Ed Larson
Jake Blumenkrantz repping. This is from tmz of course great news place. Jake Blumenkranz repping. Assembly District 15 on Long island has drafted Peanuts law a humane animal protection act which would impose a 72 hour wait before euthanizing any sanctuary animal.
[31:15]
Andrew Zabrowski
Yeah and no. So is Trump is actually angry about the euthanasia of the squirrel.
[31:19]
Ed Larson
Wow.
[31:20]
Andrew Zabrowski
I've never been on the same side of his are rallying amen for the squirrel. This is the one time people eat them. Yes, yes. Now you're waiting. You're waiting. Good mate, good mate. I think that they don't know the only fans angle of the story which is why they're even angry. So they don't even understand why it even happened because they these people don't read. But I do understand that's the only time this is across a. It's this. It's Peanut the squirrel and aliens are the only aisle crossing.
[31:48]
Ed Larson
We're all want Peanut to be alive.
[31:50]
Andrew Zabrowski
Everybody wanted Peanut to be alive but.
[31:51]
Ed Larson
We had to see if he had rabies.
[31:54]
Andrew Zabrowski
I mean the way you know of it. He didn't have rabies. It was a home based squirrel.
[31:57]
Ed Larson
Yes, no, I know but a bit of cop, you know.
[32:00]
Andrew Zabrowski
Yeah. Because he was arresting its daddy.
[32:01]
Ed Larson
But also I agree with Peanut on biting the cop. Yes. And I remember when we were arrested one of my buddy's dogs bit a cop and then it just had to go to jail for three weeks.
[32:11]
Andrew Zabrowski
That's cool though. That's cool for that dog.
[32:13]
Ed Larson
Yeah, it just went to dog jail for a little while and then went off to college. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But yeah, no. So yeah. So Peanut very dead. You know people are upset about it. But also the town official refuses to get the governor involved over the dead squirrel. He says I will not. The chong town supervisor Joy Richter tells TMZ that he has no knowledge of the squirrel saga exploding on his turf. Mark Longo and his wife claim claim two of their rescue pets Peanut and Friendnate were unjustly seized and killed over alleged RA be concerns. But this man will not contact Governor Kathy Hochul about the death of a squirrel. He says it doesn't matter.
[32:59]
Andrew Zabrowski
Oh yeah, this is a. It's Interesting. Because it does. The social media presence of the story got bigger and bigger. But I actually weirdly think it points to an issue that I notice I've dealt with on my own with police and animals.
[33:13]
Ed Larson
Yeah.
[33:13]
Andrew Zabrowski
Which is they don't want to deal with it.
[33:15]
Ed Larson
Yeah.
[33:15]
Andrew Zabrowski
They just don't want to get involved with animal ownership or things going on inside of the house.
[33:20]
Ed Larson
Richter said, I am not calling the governor over a dead squirrel. She won't do anything anyway.
[33:25]
Andrew Zabrowski
She won't.
[33:25]
Ed Larson
I mean, what are they going to do?
[33:26]
Andrew Zabrowski
I don't know. It's like I don't know what they're going to do. Honestly, though, give you money back.
[33:31]
Ed Larson
It's a squirrel. I mean, yeah, it's cute.
[33:34]
Andrew Zabrowski
It's popular. Don't say that to Mark Longo and his.
[33:37]
Ed Larson
I know.
[33:38]
Andrew Zabrowski
All right. Because you think he's going to be able to get it up?
[33:41]
Ed Larson
Oh, I'm sure they're only fan. He's going to have to. They're more popular than ever. Yeah.
[33:45]
Andrew Zabrowski
I hope that he's able to get hard after all all this.
[33:48]
Ed Larson
Yeah, I know.
[33:48]
Andrew Zabrowski
He just sitting every single time he goes to Nut inside of his married legal wife. He looks at the little shadowy spot where Peanut the squirrel used to be and he just probably his come goes back in his balls.
[34:02]
Ed Larson
How do we find his only fans? Let's see how it's doing. Can we subscribe? I want to watch. I want to watch one. One. I just want to watch what his wife wants.
[34:11]
Andrew Zabrowski
I mean, you're. You can, but you really can.
[34:16]
Ed Larson
It's hard to find.
[34:18]
Andrew Zabrowski
Do you think Peanut.
[34:19]
Ed Larson
If Peanut was on the only fans, then that's. That's a little too crossover.
[34:24]
Andrew Zabrowski
But I don't know whether or not. I don't think that he. I don't think that it was like there wasn't like. He put what on his balls? You'd put like hummingbird food on his balls and the squirrel would come and lick at his balls.
[34:36]
Ed Larson
Dirty nuts.
[34:37]
Andrew Zabrowski
Wow. Nuts. They don't know it's nuts. We call them nuts. That's the human nomenclature for our testicles.
[34:43]
Ed Larson
Yes.
[34:43]
Andrew Zabrowski
I mean, to them. They could call them oranges. Oranges.
[34:45]
Ed Larson
I bet they would bite.
[34:46]
Andrew Zabrowski
Oh, yeah. I want them nowhere near my testicles.
[34:49]
Ed Larson
No, absolutely not.
[34:50]
Andrew Zabrowski
No.
[34:50]
Ed Larson
I don't want to fingers.
[34:51]
Andrew Zabrowski
I don't want to be near a squirrel. I think squirrels and bite the out of you.
[34:56]
Ed Larson
Now, Fred the raccoon. How do you feel about raccoons hanging.
[34:59]
Andrew Zabrowski
Like this is just on. You know, it's all.
[35:01]
Ed Larson
It's so Much. This is so much.
[35:04]
Andrew Zabrowski
It really is just so much of his. All these comments saying. Just realize that these, these videos are about Squirrel. Unbelievable.
[35:19]
Ed Larson
Well, we do feel for you, Squirrel Dad. Very. It's upsetting what happened to you.
[35:25]
Andrew Zabrowski
And now you only got one way out. You gotta your way out just like the rest of us.
[35:30]
Ed Larson
We did get.
[35:31]
Andrew Zabrowski
Oh, look, he did have one here. Yeah. Oh, no, that's. No. Oh, oh, oh, oh.
[35:37]
Ed Larson
Okay.
[35:38]
Andrew Zabrowski
Squirrel Daddy. Oh, there he is.
[35:41]
Ed Larson
Up.
[35:41]
Andrew Zabrowski
Squirrel Daddy. Yep.
[35:42]
Ed Larson
Oh, it's all solo.
[35:43]
Andrew Zabrowski
Solo. Yeah. Of course.
[35:44]
Ed Larson
Now it's lame. I thought he was banging his wife.
[35:46]
Andrew Zabrowski
But no, it's all solo. And then the whole. Oh, no. Yeah. This is not good, man. Maybe the squirrel is involved.
[35:52]
Ed Larson
Yeah. I don't know.
[35:53]
Andrew Zabrowski
I hope the squirrel's not involved. Squirrel doesn't know. Well, we have a list of exploitation material.
[35:58]
Ed Larson
Who's involved with these people. They say they're a fundraising manager for Peanuts Animal Sanctuary. They say the farm is a sanctuary that began with a man's love for a squirrel. Peanut, the baby squirrel has been seen on international television and has been loved by millions. Mark and his wife Donnie built the sanctuary around their love for rescuing Peanut. They also successfully saved dozens of horses from slaughter and some being sent just for becoming pregnant.
[36:27]
Andrew Zabrowski
Wow.
[36:27]
Ed Larson
Yeah. And they've rescued over 200 goats.
[36:30]
Andrew Zabrowski
Again, hopefully this has nothing to do with the only fans.
[36:32]
Ed Larson
Yes.
[36:32]
Andrew Zabrowski
Because then. Then where? I mean, this is one of those fun. What I'm hoping we're not is heading towards one of the harder apologies I want will have you know what I mean, where it's like. Because we don't know really maybe what the whole story is. And then I'm kind of wondering.
[36:46]
Ed Larson
We're not taking his side.
[36:48]
Andrew Zabrowski
No, not necessarily.
[36:49]
Ed Larson
This is news.
[36:50]
Andrew Zabrowski
I'm just not judging him for having an only fans.
[36:52]
Ed Larson
I'm not judging him for I, I.
[36:54]
Andrew Zabrowski
We did judge him. We did say that the status only fans is a man alone. But that's fine.
[36:58]
Ed Larson
I think that's fine. No, that's judging everybody.
[37:00]
Andrew Zabrowski
I think that's fair.
[37:00]
Ed Larson
That's not just him. That's anyone who jerks off on only fans. I think that's the saddest version of only fans.
[37:05]
Andrew Zabrowski
I do think so too, actually.
[37:06]
Ed Larson
I think I take that back if you're doing comedy.
[37:10]
Andrew Zabrowski
Oh, yeah.
[37:11]
Ed Larson
On only fans. Because it's too. It's too ed.
[37:14]
Andrew Zabrowski
Crazy. Oh, it's so edgy. Yeah, that's.
[37:17]
Ed Larson
That's the lowest that exists.
[37:19]
Andrew Zabrowski
Oh, I know. Yes. That is the lowest of the low.
[37:21]
Ed Larson
Yeah. Yeah. There so we take it back. So if you.
[37:24]
Andrew Zabrowski
You're right, you're up. You're up there. You're up the rung, squirrel daddy.
[37:26]
Ed Larson
If you're just jerking off, better not.
[37:29]
Andrew Zabrowski
Have put that squirrel anywhere near your come, dude. Yeah, okay. Because I'm going to be upset. Everyone's going to be upset with you, all right? And I'm putting my reputation on the line. My Kamala Harris voting reputation. I'm putting on the line that you're not these squirrels, okay? Because I'm trying to stay good. I'm trying to stay with it. Stay with the young.
[37:51]
Ed Larson
Yeah, man. You see Henry's got his wonderful. His American hat on. Assumpt my flag. I'll eat your ass.
[37:57]
Andrew Zabrowski
Yes. This is my fake out hat hat. Yeah, because it looks like you get upset when you look at it and then you says, I'll eat your ass. Oh God, yes. Just have fun on there, squirrel dad. Just leave the squirrels out of it.
[38:09]
Ed Larson
Rise from your grave.
[38:11]
Andrew Zabrowski
All right, we got one. We have another story here. I love, you know me, you love your sovereigns. You know I love my sovereign citizens. And the case I made the last time that we talked about sovereign citizens is this idea that they sovereign citizens are funny and silly and a waste of everybody's time until they get really dangerous. Yes. And I am of the opinion that at some point these guys are going to get dangerous. More than silly, of course. Because the more frustrated that they get, the more they realize that their court horseshit and quantum grammar doesn't work, the more they are going to realize, oh, maybe we need to start doing this the old fashioned way.
[38:54]
Ed Larson
Yeah, well, they can't get along. That's why they do what they do.
[38:57]
Andrew Zabrowski
They literally. It's like Satanists too. Like the idea of a Satanist grouping is so funny.
[39:03]
Ed Larson
Yeah.
[39:04]
Andrew Zabrowski
Cuz it's like so an idealist, individualist, like thought process. It's like you're trying to group us all together. We all think that we're our own God and master. You know what I mean? It's going hard to get us to pay dues, but this guy. The sovereign citizens are just. They are such a huge pain in the ass. And I just wanted to use this as a example of exactly, exactly what it was I was talking about.
[39:28]
Ed Larson
And they're not just in America, folks.
[39:30]
Andrew Zabrowski
Oh no, they're all over the world and just like us. Oh, the UK is getting our. You think that we came from nowhere uk? You all think you're fancier than us. We just went to London. We Went to an afters.
[39:42]
Ed Larson
You ain't good looking.
[39:43]
Andrew Zabrowski
No. Well, you are. You are. Some of them are hot. They're very attractive. But I will. But at the afters, you ain't no better than us. No, I saw no kings and queens in that after masters, that's for certain. All right, so just know y'all ain't no different.
[39:57]
Ed Larson
I do love London.
[39:58]
Andrew Zabrowski
Love London.
[39:59]
Ed Larson
Well, I could really spend some time there.
[40:00]
Andrew Zabrowski
Oh, we will.
[40:01]
Ed Larson
When? They just called everyone ugly when we.
[40:02]
Andrew Zabrowski
Leave when we were supposed to be expats.
[40:04]
Ed Larson
I'm very ugly.
[40:05]
Andrew Zabrowski
You're ugly as well.
[40:06]
Ed Larson
Yeah.
[40:07]
Andrew Zabrowski
No, you're handsome. You're handsome. In a way.
[40:08]
Ed Larson
I'm attractive to a certain group.
[40:10]
Andrew Zabrowski
Same as me.
[40:11]
Ed Larson
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[40:12]
Andrew Zabrowski
There's a good type of. There's a type of person that arrives.
[40:14]
Ed Larson
Type of person that's like, oh, my God, let me slice me some of that ham.
[40:18]
Andrew Zabrowski
Yeah.
[40:18]
Ed Larson
And then everyone else is like, what are you talking about?
[40:21]
Andrew Zabrowski
Well, mostly they're like, excuse me, sir, do you drive the bus?
[40:24]
Ed Larson
It's like, you know what I mean?
[40:25]
Andrew Zabrowski
Like, you just look like a license. Yeah, we both look like, just like random civil servants, you know what I mean? So this group, a group called the. They named themselves something really, really stupid and general again, they were called the Federal Postal Court. This group of in the UK tried to kidnap and kill someone. They were led by a guy by the name of Mark Christopher. And the group of idiots that were with him was Mat Matthew Martin, Shiza Harper and Sean Harper. These are normal, quote, unquote, normal people. They wanted to shut down Essex Coroner's Court and abduct Senior Coroner Lincoln Brooks in April of 2023. Now, what they decided was that he was a part of a gigantic human trafficking ring. With no evidence whatsoever, they had built up a case sending essentially sending fake arrest warrants to the coroner's office over and over again, saying that they were going to come arrest and corporately punish this coroner for being a part of a human trafficking world.
[41:26]
Ed Larson
I'm just so confused by all of this. Because if you are in fact a sovereign citizen and you don't believe in government, how are you your own government and a leader? Because you shouldn't be allowed, like, your whole, like, the way you look at things shouldn't even be. I'm a leader.
[41:42]
Andrew Zabrowski
You're inherently. I honestly, it's the reason why I do believe people vote for Trump. Right where you're either purposefully ignorant. Right where you're. You specifically want to be ignorant. You don't do the Reading and you are stick in the mud and you want things to be one way and you want to be your way or the highway and you don't really care what anybody else says. I think that's one, I think two maliciously ignorant. I think the people that are specifically hateful and cynical and want to essentially like manipulate people by saying a bunch of stuff that's fake because they think if they're on the winning side of it, they will be impervious to any problems after the fact. Right? So this idea that as long as I'm on the winning side, as everybody wins and I get to be on top, I get to be a part of this. Much like people that went along to go along with the Nazis, right? So stuff like this is like when people show up to, when they get involved in something like this, they believe that maybe, just maybe if we flip the entire system, we become lords on the other side side. Mostly because they don't want to pay tax bills, they want to pay parking fees and they don't want to deal with marriage licenses, which is bizarre. No, it's not. It's more than just bizarre, it's criminal. And it's completely, utterly there. It's just you, you are a. Now if you go to mkchristopher.com you can go and see the actual website that you could go and get quote unquote business consultation. As you can see when you look at this website, it is filled with quantum grammar. So you, you got the colon Mark Dash Kishan colon Christopher Dash Global Chief dash Federal Postal Court dash Judge. And with a colon, all of this fake shit because it says it releases you from any form of judicial coverage or register like anything. And so right here it says start here to eliminate your domestic and commercial mortgages and debts. The process on my part is done through showing engineered fraud on your documents, agreements and contracts. These guys believe that they have this ability to show that these like essentially loopholes to the, to various government bodies and they're going to be like, oh my God, you're right, I can't make you pay your mortgage anymore.
[43:52]
Ed Larson
Yeah.
[43:53]
Andrew Zabrowski
Oh, you're right. That those, that legal fee doesn't hold for you anymore.
[43:56]
Ed Larson
Now they went after court do coroner.
[43:59]
Andrew Zabrowski
I mean, excuse me, nothing to do with anything.
[44:02]
Ed Larson
It has nothing to do with anything.
[44:03]
Andrew Zabrowski
No, they've just, they fixated on somebody that they could get at and so when they arrived.
[44:08]
Ed Larson
But is that coroner in Britain the same as a coroner in America? Do they like study bodies?
[44:13]
Andrew Zabrowski
And I'm not quite certain to be honest, I'm not quite certain.
[44:16]
Ed Larson
It all was very. The whole thing is just like extremely confusing and it's just them. I think that's what they live on, is being confusing.
[44:25]
Andrew Zabrowski
Yes.
[44:25]
Ed Larson
Is how they get away with nonsense so long.
[44:27]
Andrew Zabrowski
Because they're just saying random things.
[44:29]
Ed Larson
Because you just want them out of your face.
[44:30]
Andrew Zabrowski
Yes. And because the guy that was in charge, Mark Christopher, he went by the title of Chief Judge of England and all dominions. They went in there.
[44:38]
Ed Larson
If you don't believe in government, you know, you can't have that title.
[44:41]
Andrew Zabrowski
He's. But he's taking it upon him himself.
[44:44]
Ed Larson
Okay.
[44:44]
Andrew Zabrowski
The. He says that he received. This is an earlier trial. He said that. That the group came to Ex's area Coroner. So this was a part of a legal thing. Right. They said they're going to come in, they were going to arrest this person. They were going to. They had zip ties on them and they had a car. They were literally going to arrest them and bring them someplace and beat this person to death. Michelle Brown, who'd been conducting inquests from paperwork and without witnesses or family present, told an earlier trial that the group had come into her courtroom. He said that the leader, Christopher, kept demanding that I find and get boss. Right. Like, that was the idea of like going in there and essentially saying, describe the emails. He claimed the warrants were to be for seizure of goods and persons and it doesn't really make sense. And that they kind of randomly chose him and have been stalking this man and then they finally came to essentially murder him. And they are. They are all. They jailed, all four. They're all like immediately in jail.
[45:38]
Ed Larson
But it was all. It wasn't actual murder. Murder. They didn't actually kill anybody.
[45:42]
Andrew Zabrowski
No. Not yet.
[45:43]
Ed Larson
No.
[45:43]
Andrew Zabrowski
They tried in the uk, they can do stuff like that in the uk. They also do stuff like. There was a story, I want to say it was also in Canada, they can also do that where they can get you pretty hardcore for just showing significant planning when you don't have to. It's not like kind of like in America where it is difficult, like someone really, like, let's say someone's threatening you with murder, that you really can't do anything about it until they murder you, but then you can do something about it.
[46:09]
Ed Larson
Yeah. So they. They wanted to arrest this man because they said he was involved in necromancy.
[46:15]
Andrew Zabrowski
Yes. They said that it was a part. That he was using the dead for improper rituals for the US government, for the UK government. UK government?
[46:23]
Ed Larson
Yeah. And they. And this guy, he's obviously very scared.
[46:28]
Andrew Zabrowski
He said, oh, he was ruined his life. He had to go to the. He had to go to therapy, he had to leave. He doesn't know what to do anymore. These guys have been hounding him in this like nonsense. And the thing is too is that when you look at their depos, like if you look at their like when you click into these like document things of what you're supposed to do, they are, they are ridiculous. They are ridiculous. They have this whole step by step walkthrough, create your own life life claim, but live life claim and certificate of live birth. This is all fake. It costs 333 pounds. And you call in and this guy essentially teaches you how to scam the system. System the proper way.
[47:08]
Ed Larson
Yeah.
[47:09]
Andrew Zabrowski
And it says, and this stuff looks like a crazy person wrote it. Like if you look at the FBC crazy like the fpc because it's all written in quantum grammar too. So it looks even worse than it is. So it looks like someone with schizophrenia wrote it.
[47:21]
Ed Larson
Yeah. And it says how to join. It's like for me to qualify the training suitability for you, you must book a zoom appointment with me before you could be part of my university. Email me to book a zoom appointment. And then he puts his email address. The investment for this life changing TR training is 7,449 great British pounds.
[47:42]
Andrew Zabrowski
Oh yes.
[47:42]
Ed Larson
But if you don't believe in money.
[47:45]
Andrew Zabrowski
They do believe in money. They just don't believe that they. That the they. The reason why it's confusing, Eddie, is because it's essentially nonsense.
[47:54]
Ed Larson
It is nonsense.
[47:55]
Andrew Zabrowski
It's nonsense in the very, very bottom of it. It's full on like. That's kind of the thing where it's a little too easy for cult leaders to jump in. It is a cult leader starter pack being a sovereign citizen. And it, it's a little too easy because Mark Christopher, I think that he didn't do enough work because he has this whole thing with Soul University where it's all this quantum grammar that he stole from the other guy already covered. So he didn't even make this system up. He stole this from David Wynn Miller.
[48:22]
Ed Larson
Is just all like. But it's just like you bullshit, you bullshit. You talk about absolutely nothing and you change words and punctuation.
[48:31]
Andrew Zabrowski
That's exactly what. Until like you kill somebody. Yeah. No, no, that this is why it's worthy to cover. It's not worthy in and of itself. The story itself is extremely boring and stupid. These morons showed up and tried to fake arrest somebody who had nothing to do with a fake crime in order to kill them. But the problem is that on some level, much like why we are covering Krugersdorp in so thick of detail is because it's important to see that stupid shit that looks silly from the outside leads to murder sometimes. And that you have to keep your head on a fucking swivel about what you allow into your brain and into your very, very soul. You have to give your. You have to have a grain of salt about the things you read. I read a lot of crazy shit for this show. I throw myself into a lot of crazy research for the show. But I know that I have a foot outside of the research because that's what allows me to see how fucking stupid it is. You cannot 110% give in to any single ID.
[49:34]
Ed Larson
Yeah. When it comes to, like learning about sovereign citizens. And I'm very impressed by how much you've actually like, retained. It makes me nauseous, like every time I read into what they're saying. Yeah, well, get really mad.
[49:47]
Andrew Zabrowski
It's called the barrier to entry. It's done on purpose. It's why Scientology is gibberish. And that goes as far to the. Literally the ancient schools. Like, it's like listening to a guy named Gerda Jeef, who's like a teacher that I do enjoy. But he talks about this idea that knowledge is a quantity and there's a limited amount of knowledge, which is why back in the old days, quote, unquote, the Egyptian secret schools, they took all of the secret secret knowledge and they hid it behind a bunch of rituals and mishigosh and all this stuff that it was difficult to get through. So that it would be this damaging information that the gods are not gods at all, but it's based upon our. The star movements and that everything is attached to an understanding of the earth here on the here that we can touch tangible earth. And we say these. Predict these stories about gods and allegories in order to teach people that are not ready to know that there is no gods.
[50:40]
Ed Larson
It just seems like an excuse for why they're poor.
[50:43]
Andrew Zabrowski
Exactly. That's. And why they're. Well, it's more why they're rich.
[50:47]
Ed Larson
Yes.
[50:47]
Andrew Zabrowski
It's the opposite. It's why they're rich and you're poor because you can't be trusted with the resources.
[50:52]
Ed Larson
Do you think they celebrate Christmas?
[50:54]
Andrew Zabrowski
Who?
[50:55]
Ed Larson
Sovereign citizens?
[50:57]
Andrew Zabrowski
I actually think that they have to. I think the day that they have to observe is present President's Day.
[51:02]
Ed Larson
Really?
[51:02]
Andrew Zabrowski
I don't know. No, I think because technically it's not religious. It just happens to have a religious sidekicker. Yeah, there's a lot of religiosity within it, but it's not inherently religious. Inherently. It's political. It's more of a shithead militia versus a cult.
[51:21]
Ed Larson
Just get a driver's license.
[51:23]
Andrew Zabrowski
They won't. They don't. They hate. They hate not getting DUIs, man. They love D. They love them. They love driving drunk. They love getting parking tickets and not paying them. It's so hard for them. That's their passion.
[51:35]
Ed Larson
I mean, I did that for a while and that's why I don't have a driver's license. See? But I respect my non having driver's license.
[51:41]
Andrew Zabrowski
No, and you don't drive.
[51:43]
Ed Larson
I drove your car recently.
[51:44]
Andrew Zabrowski
That was different. That's a long story. It had to happen or it had to happen. He can physically drive and I didn't allow it. He stole my car. Call the police.
[51:55]
Ed Larson
You wanted to pick your dog up. I covered from the.
[51:58]
Andrew Zabrowski
I needed help. You sat next to me in the car.
[52:01]
Ed Larson
You were teaching me how to drive.
[52:02]
Andrew Zabrowski
Yeah, it was like you were learners.
[52:04]
Ed Larson
Yeah, I'm a learner's permit.
[52:05]
Andrew Zabrowski
You had to drive because I have car me in my lap.
[52:07]
Ed Larson
Officer, listen, he is my learner's permit.
[52:11]
Andrew Zabrowski
I'm the driver. I have a dog. All right, but just so you know, guys, before you fall into any of these slippery slopes and this is a big thing I just want to say, too. Maybe. Maybe we can even. Let's take a little break here, right? Say you're a sensitive person. Okay, step away from the podcast for a second. I'm talking to my little boys here. I'm talking to my young boys.
[52:31]
Ed Larson
How you doing, Harry?
[52:32]
Andrew Zabrowski
I'm talking to my Gen Z. Any. If there are any broccoli heads that are listening. All right.
[52:35]
Ed Larson
I shaved the side of my head for you.
[52:37]
Andrew Zabrowski
I know. It's cool, isn't it? Wow. Cool. That's so lit.
[52:41]
Ed Larson
I got face tattoos.
[52:43]
Andrew Zabrowski
Wow. You must be so sensitive and. And poetic.
[52:46]
Ed Larson
I got a teardrop next to my.
[52:48]
Andrew Zabrowski
That means you murdered somebody in prison.
[52:50]
Ed Larson
No, but next to my butt. It's for all the dookies. I sl. Lane.
[52:53]
Andrew Zabrowski
Yeah, well, you're huge. You're a huge boy. I stay big. We just gotta just remember that. But how do I gently say, pull your head out of your ass and read some books, you know, and just read something outside of your. Your little sphere. You got to get in there. Okay? I mean, it I'm 40. I was an edge lord.
[53:11]
Ed Larson
Do yo. Yeah, very much so.
[53:13]
Andrew Zabrowski
I'm still am.
[53:14]
Ed Larson
Yeah.
[53:16]
Andrew Zabrowski
I'm angry.
[53:17]
Ed Larson
Yeah.
[53:17]
Andrew Zabrowski
I won't say the Starbucks branded content.
[53:20]
Ed Larson
Your hat says eat ass.
[53:22]
Andrew Zabrowski
I just. Just remember we're all in this boat together, and we're going to have to make it through no matter what, all right? Until that solar flare hits. And then I never have to hear from any one of you ever again.
[53:32]
Ed Larson
We'll keep doing radio, all right?
[53:33]
Andrew Zabrowski
Oh, we will. But it'll be by ourselves. Yeah, it'll be in this room. And then people will be invited to the small room.
[53:41]
Ed Larson
Oh, my God. What else happened this week, man?
[53:44]
Andrew Zabrowski
I don't know.
[53:45]
Ed Larson
I found a head in Edinburgh.
[53:46]
Andrew Zabrowski
Oh. They thought it was a decoration, which is pretty hilarious. The guy got his head popped off from behind a bus.
[53:51]
Ed Larson
Yeah, it's very sad, but also, like, at 74.
[53:57]
Andrew Zabrowski
Ed like that. Yeah. I mean, that's a good way to go at 74.
[53:59]
Ed Larson
Good way to go at 74.
[54:00]
Andrew Zabrowski
If I made somebody laugh with my death.
[54:02]
Ed Larson
Yeah. Yeah. If I get that far and I'm, like, going to die within a year or two anyway, pop my head off in public.
[54:09]
Andrew Zabrowski
Yeah, it's your. Oh, man. God, I would love to scare the out of the whole elementary.
[54:14]
Ed Larson
Except I would say 84 would be the number.
[54:18]
Andrew Zabrowski
It's a severed head. Oh, my God, Joe Biden. You look great. He's not running. I'm allowed to say whatever the fuck. Yes.
[54:27]
Ed Larson
I miss you, Joey.
[54:28]
Andrew Zabrowski
We all miss Joe Biden. I can't believe he died six weeks ago. Guys, we're at the end of our episode today. I got one letter.
[54:37]
Ed Larson
Oh, yeah? Which one is it? S. You fucking asshole.
[54:45]
Andrew Zabrowski
I just think that this one I be stupid. This one might be stupid. All right, but let me see.
[54:50]
Ed Larson
Yeah, it's a UFO one, so you got to read it whether it's stupid or not. We can make fun of it if it sucks.
[54:55]
Andrew Zabrowski
All right, here we go. I have a story for the show about a UFO sighting for when I was a child In March of 1998, my family, mom, dad, older brother and younger sister and I were visiting my grandparents in Lake Placid, Florida, for my grandfather's birthday. On our way home that evening, we saw something that has stuck with me ever since. As we were traveling north towards Orlando. Ooh.
[55:21]
Ed Larson
Place of my birth.
[55:22]
Andrew Zabrowski
Yep. My father, who was driving, saw something directly to our left and pointed it out to us. Above the lake, quite high in the sky, was a bright yellow light. The light moved very slowly through the sky flying parallel to us all a sudden another light appeared nearby. The first and then another, until there were a total of seven of these lights.
[55:45]
Ed Larson
Okay.
[55:45]
Andrew Zabrowski
These lights appeared to be connected to one another and not independent craft. I distinctly remembered being very upset that the family camcorder battery was dead and I couldn't get the proof. These lights stayed in the sky for almost an hour, traveling silently parallel to our car. They eventually turned towards us and silently flew over our car. And that was the end of our sighting. The formation or flying pattern of these lights was quite like the Phoenix lights. And years later, when I learned of that incident, I was shook to my core. I believe I saw the same phenomenon. At the time, my father and mother were just as confused and scared as us kids were. My father still has no explanation for what we saw, nor does my mother. Cut to today when I asked about the scariest moment of my life and I remembered this incident. It was just then that I realized I haven't spoken to my parents about what we saw since 1990, 98. So I decided to phone them up. My father distinctly remembers the incident, but his skeptical was probably some military super secret technology.
[56:43]
Ed Larson
Okay.
[56:44]
Andrew Zabrowski
My mother on the other hand, straight up called it a ufo and that whatever it was, it wasn't any conventional aircraft that we were aware of. Then she dropped the bombshell on me. It was in the news. You know, I searched and searched, but no combination of words would get me a proper hit until I get a very, very specific. I found a link to a sighting recorded on 324, 1998, my grandfather birthday. And while the report doesn't exactly describe what we saw, it's very similar. A couple were on their way home and saw two orange lights that appeared to blink in and out at will, appearing in different parts of the sky as if they instantly teleported. It's been on my mind all day and it's the first time I've ever really been convinced that we saw something that night and not the overactive imagination of a child run rampant over two and a half decades. You know, I really do think that the corroborating sighting is interesting because we've talked about this many times in group sightings where one half will see something different than what the other half will see and they're all there at the same time watching something. Yeah, like most notably when we just covered the aerial school and that phenomenon where you had some kids seeing one thing and some kids seeing teachers seeing something and it. But they all saw something at the same Exact time. And so I think it's very interesting.
[57:51]
Ed Larson
But also, don't you, over time, like, if you like, talk about something after two decades, it changes in your mind maybe.
[57:58]
Andrew Zabrowski
I don't know. Depends on the memory.
[58:00]
Ed Larson
Yeah.
[58:01]
Andrew Zabrowski
I think that sometimes that's either you either add to the memory or is the memory becomes so locked in because you've thought about it over and over and over again, but we never know.
[58:10]
Ed Larson
Yeah.
[58:11]
Andrew Zabrowski
All of history is a memory, Eddie.
[58:13]
Ed Larson
So what's up with the Phoenix Lights?
[58:14]
Andrew Zabrowski
The Phoenix Lights were the Phoenix Lights.
[58:16]
Ed Larson
I know, but what did they look like?
[58:18]
Andrew Zabrowski
They look like a triangle, like, essentially like a flying V over Phoenix that was. It's the largest UFO sighting of all time.
[58:27]
Ed Larson
Because I know it's going to be a major part of the new George Knapp documentary.
[58:30]
Andrew Zabrowski
Yes. I'm very excited to get into more detail about this. But then the. I believe it was the governor of Arizona came out and made fun, made a bunch of fun of it the next day, saying that we've caught the culprit from the incident last night. And a gray guy in a gray costume came out and he arrested him on live television. And everyone laughed and shit. But then later on. Oh, yeah. Fife Symington, the governor of Arizona, he then came forward later on and said he acted. Actually did this as a way to feel better because he saw the lights himself and could not get any formal explanation as to what they were.
[59:07]
Ed Larson
Wow.
[59:08]
Andrew Zabrowski
And he went to the highest levels that he could get to as governor and he could get no explanation as to what they were.
[59:13]
Ed Larson
It's pretty awesome alien costume.
[59:14]
Andrew Zabrowski
It is a great. It's a really, really good alien costume. They don't make them like they used to.
[59:19]
Ed Larson
They certainly don't.
[59:20]
Andrew Zabrowski
They don't. But yeah. I mean, just keep looking towards the sky live every day knowing that your eyeballs are your telescope scopes and love every day knowing that your balls can be your suit cushions and you can laugh. Just think about the fact that then what's the rest of you? I don't know.
[59:36]
Ed Larson
Just a big old tush.
[59:37]
Andrew Zabrowski
Yep.
[59:38]
Ed Larson
Well, thank you, President Jill Stein.
[59:41]
Andrew Zabrowski
Yeah, President Jill Stein.
[59:43]
Ed Larson
You've done for us.
[59:44]
Andrew Zabrowski
I want to say thank you for naming it National Podcasters Day. It's been so good getting the flowers and the money that I've been getting all day.
[59:52]
Ed Larson
Yeah.
[59:52]
Andrew Zabrowski
Thank you for the free crystals for Marianne Williamson.
[59:56]
Ed Larson
I'm gonna go and celebrate my Green Party membership tonight.
[60:00]
Andrew Zabrowski
Yes, absolutely. Me too, as well. My own membership of my own party. You'll see. And you know, just get out there. I think that today, I just want to make sure to remind you, get out there and vote yes. Because I know it's never too late. It's never too late. I want you to get to. If you're still in line, stay. Stay in.
[60:18]
Ed Larson
They have to let you vote yes.
[60:20]
Andrew Zabrowski
Stay in line.
[60:21]
Ed Larson
That's right.
[60:21]
Andrew Zabrowski
All right.
[60:22]
Ed Larson
And if the machines are broken, ask for paper. And I think if you leave your left shoe, you vote for Kamala. And if you leave your right shoe, you vote for Trump.
[60:31]
Andrew Zabrowski
And they test it by smell. Also know that if you roll, if you ball up your ballot and you throw it through a window and it makes it into a trash can, technically that counts.
[60:40]
Ed Larson
Yeah. But for LeBron James.
[60:42]
Andrew Zabrowski
Yes, LeBron James. To bring Ronnie James, make him a starter.
[60:46]
Ed Larson
Vice President Ronnie James.
[60:47]
Andrew Zabrowski
God, that would be amazing. Patreon.com podcast on the left. Pay us money and watch us perform. You're going to like it. Go to at. To LP on the left for all of the social medias. Yes. That we're part of Humboldt.
[60:59]
Ed Larson
We're coming for you, baby. November 23rd, Henry and I are going to be up there with Billy Wayne Davis at the Mateal Community Center.
[61:07]
Andrew Zabrowski
We're going to have fun. Yeah, we're going to have a lot of fun. I'm very, very excited. We're going to be stoned as hell. Yeah.
[61:10]
Ed Larson
We're going to see some redwoods. Good time. And then December 21st, we're going to be doing classy night out here.
[61:18]
Andrew Zabrowski
The Masonic, baby.
[61:20]
Ed Larson
Yeah. Tickets, if they're not on sale yet, will be on sale very soon. It's a small venue, so make sure you rush to get your tickets. It's going to be a lot of fun because Jackie Zabrowski is going to be on the show.
[61:30]
Andrew Zabrowski
We're going to have so much fun. A bunch of special guests, too, which I'm really excited.
[61:33]
Ed Larson
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I love you guys so much. Be good to yourselves.
[61:36]
Andrew Zabrowski
Be good to each other.
[61:38]
Ed Larson
Yes.
[61:38]
Andrew Zabrowski
All right. Remember, on again, unfortunately, we are all in this hot air balloon together that is suspended by flames alone.
[61:45]
Ed Larson
Yeah.
[61:46]
Andrew Zabrowski
Just remember that. Hailston.
[61:50]
Ed Larson
I don't feel like hailing.
[61:52]
Andrew Zabrowski
Happy hunting.
[61:52]
Ed Larson
Oh, yes.
[61:55]
Andrew Zabrowski
Hail Jill Stein.
[61:56]
Ed Larson
Hail Jill Stein. Thank you for all you've done for this fucking.
[62:00]
Andrew Zabrowski
Seriously, thank you. Thank you for your sacrifice.
[62:02]
Ed Larson
God, I love you. What a see the inside of you.
[62:08]
Andrew Zabrowski
Save.