Side Stories: Tastes Like Tradition

Summary

Last Podcast on the Left – Episode: Side Stories: Tastes Like Tradition
Release Date: February 19, 2025
Hosts: Henry Zabrowski & Ed Larson
Network: The Last Podcast Network

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1. The Polish Connection to Jack the Ripper

(07:09 - 10:33)

The episode delves into the enduring mystery surrounding Jack the Ripper, the infamous Victorian-era serial killer. Hosts Henry Zabrowski and Ed Larson explore the emerging theory that Jack the Ripper was actually Aaron Kosminski, a Polish barber living in London.

Key Points:

• Historian's Insight: Henry cites historian Russell Edwards, a "Ripperologist," who suggests DNA evidence from a victim’s scarf links Kosminski to the crimes. However, the findings remain contested pending final peer-reviewed studies.

• Behavioral Analysis: They discuss Kosminski's background, highlighting his skills as a barber-surgeon and his mental health issues, including schizophrenia and hallucinations, which might have contributed to his violent tendencies.

• Cultural Impact: The hosts reflect on how if proven true, naming Kosminski as Jack the Ripper would be a significant revelation for the Polish community, humorously comparing it to "vegan kielbasa" as a cultural staple.

Notable Quotes:

• Henry Zabrowski (08:15): "We are still waiting on the final publication of the peer-reviewed study of this DNA."
• Ed Larson (10:33): "It's crazy how it's like two Johnny Depp movies came together. Sweeney Todd and From Hell."

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2. The Zizian Cult and AI Conspiracy

(18:00 - 21:37)

Henry Zabrowski introduces a discussion about a cult known as the "Zizians," comprised mainly of trans young students involved in biomechanics, computer programming, and AI. The cult believes in partnering with AI to prepare for its eventual takeover.

Key Points:

• Cult Beliefs: The Zizians subscribe to Roko's Basilisk, fearing that antagonizing AI now could lead to its retrospective punishment in the future. They aim to align themselves with AI to gain favor and survival.

• Criminal Activities: The group has been implicated in the murders of a landlord and a border agent, among others. Recently, their leader, Jack Lasota, was arrested on charges including trespassing and obstruction.

• Host Commentary: The hosts critique the cult's complex and contradictory manifesto, expressing skepticism about their genuine allegiance to AI.

Notable Quotes:

• Henry Zabrowski (19:38): "Jack sort of finally got arrested. 33 years old."
• Ed Larson (21:10): "They are probably gonna try to explain more what their rationalist movement is and what rationalism is."

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3. Side Stories: Raccoon Dinner in Danville, Ohio

(27:33 - 43:04)

A significant portion of the episode focuses on the annual Raccoon Dinner in Danville, Ohio, organized by the Lions Club. The event has garnered international attention, attracting 600 participants in a town of just 1,000 residents.

Key Points:

• Event Overview: The Raccoon Dinner, a tradition spanning over 82 years, serves roasted raccoon meat alongside sides like mashed potatoes and cornbread. The meat is described as unseasoned, leading to humorous yet critical commentary from the hosts.

• Cultural Significance: Henry and Ed discuss the origins of the event, suggesting it may have started as a prank but evolved into a beloved local tradition. They explore the logistics of sourcing raccoon meat and the methods of preparation, which involve brining and boiling without spices.

• Host Banter: The hosts exchange jokes and satirical remarks about the taste and preparation of raccoon, comparing it to other unconventional meats like bear and snake.

Notable Quotes:

• Ed Larson (27:35): "Tastes like tradition. Raccoon dinner brings international fame to Ohio."
• Henry Zabrowski (37:53): "That's the most Ohio gross I have ever heard. Get your together, get your together."

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4. Louisville Vape Store Assault

(42:29 - 47:38)

The hosts recount a disturbing incident in Louisville where a vape store owner violently assaulted a shoplifter who stole vape pens.

Key Points:

• Incident Details: Kashmir Car Patel, the vape store owner, chased and ultimately assaulted a man who had stolen a box of vapes. The confrontation escalated as Patel and his staff pepper-sprayed the victim and inflicted further physical harm.

• Legal Consequences: Patel faces multiple charges, including kidnapping and wanton endangerment, with no bail set due to the severity of the actions.

• Hosts' Reactions: Henry and Ed express strong disapproval of the excessive use of force, emphasizing the disproportionate response to a non-violent shoplifting offense.

Notable Quotes:

• Henry Zabrowski (43:08): "He pulled the man's pants down and underwear, took the pepper spray, spread the man's butt cheeks and sprayed the pepper spray into his anus."
• Ed Larson (44:00): "What does that even do to you when you get pepper sprayed inside Uranus?"

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5. Asteroid Threatening Earth

(57:00 - 65:03)

A segment discusses a newly discovered asteroid with an increasing probability of impacting Earth, currently standing at a 3.1% chance.

Key Points:

• Asteroid Details: The asteroid's likelihood of hitting Earth has risen from 1% to 3%, with predictions indicating a possible impact in nine years. If it does strike, it's expected to cause significant devastation, equivalent to 50 megatons of force.

• Impact Zones: While most projections suggest an ocean impact, significant areas like Illinois could face severe consequences, including tsunamis and earthquakes.

• Scientific Uncertainty: Henry mentions the fluid nature of such predictions, noting that the exact impact path remains uncertain and may shift with new data.

Notable Quotes:

• Henry Zabrowski (57:00): "And what is interesting, which I found really interesting about this story, is that they can already tell where it might land if it does hit."
• Ed Larson (58:38): "It's a 3 in 4 chance that it hits the ocean."

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6. Audience Interaction and Man Corner

(65:14 - 84:43)

In a segment dubbed "Man Corner," the hosts address audience questions and comments, often venturing into controversial and humorous territory.

Key Points:

• Pregnancy Myths: An email discusses a rare medical condition, cloacal malformation, where a woman has a single pore for reproductive and excretory systems, leading to unintended pregnancy through anal sex. The hosts provide a mix of factual information and satirical remarks.

• Butt Implants and Sexual Dynamics: Viewer feedback about butt implants and padded pants sparks a discussion on men's perceptions of women's bodies, blending humor with critical commentary on societal standards.

• Veterinarian Suicides: The hosts touch upon the high suicide rates among veterinarians, attributing it to workplace stress and systemic issues within the veterinary profession.

• Humorous Banter: Throughout, Henry and Ed engage in playful, often irreverent jokes, maintaining the show's characteristic comedic tone.

Notable Quotes:

• Henry Zabrowski (70:28): "It is called hot tush. And hot tush is one of the hardest. It's honestly, it is such a pandemic in this country."
• Ed Larson (76:25): "So they're like, you steal all the money out of the register, he should not have acted like this again."

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7. Upcoming Events and Conclusion

(83:25 - 85:58)

The episode concludes with the hosts promoting upcoming live shows and events, encouraging listeners to attend their performances across various cities.

Key Points:

• Live Shows: Henry and Ed announce schedules for live performances in Dallas, Huntsville, Dana Beach (Fort Lauderdale), Orlando, and a special event called "Crime Wave" in November.

• Audience Engagement: They invite listeners to join their Patreon for exclusive content, live streams, and interaction during live shows.

Notable Quotes:

• Ed Larson (83:45): "We're gonna have a lot of fun and... someone's gonna die. You gotta come see this."
• Henry Zabrowski (84:43): "We have to stop now because I think that that's as far as we... We're over."

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8. Advertisements and Sponsorships

Throughout the episode, advertisements for T-Mobile, Multicare, and Squarespace are interspersed. These segments are succinct and promotional in nature, offering deals on phone plans, healthcare services, and website creation tools.

Notable Ads:

• T-Mobile Representative (00:00 & 23:07): Promotional offers for switching to T-Mobile, highlighting benefits like paying off locked phones and access to America's largest 5G network.
• Multicare Representative (00:31 & 24:30): Emphasizes Multicare’s commitment to community health and expanding healthcare access.
• Squarespace Advertisement (23:07): Promotes website building with a humorous twist related to horse-themed empires and personal revenge narratives.

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Conclusion

"Side Stories: Tastes Like Tradition" offers a blend of true crime discussions, local traditions, societal commentary, and lighthearted humor. Henry Zabrowski and Ed Larson maintain their signature irreverent style while exploring diverse topics, from historical mysteries and cult behaviors to bizarre local events and speculative threats. The episode effectively balances informative segments with entertaining banter, making it engaging for both regular listeners and newcomers seeking a comprehensive overview of the discussions.

Overall Notable Quote:

• Henry Zabrowski (61:34): "I'm just saying that's the dream. That's their dream."

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Listeners Interested in More:

• Patreon: Support the show at patreon.com/lastpodcastonleft
• Live Shows: Attend performances in Dallas, Huntsville, Dana Beach, Orlando, and during "Crime Wave" in November.
• Social Media: Follow The Last Podcast on the Left for updates and additional content.

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Disclaimer: The content discussed in this summary is based on the provided transcript and may contain sensitive or mature themes typical of The Last Podcast on the Left.

Transcript

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[Henry Zabrowski]

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[Multicare Representative]

Our state has changed a lot in the last 140 years. We know because Multicare has been here guided by a single making our communities healthier. That comes from making courageous decisions, partnering with local communities to grow programs and services and expanding healthcare access to those who need it most. Together, we're building a healthier future. Learn [e-mail].

[Henry Zabrowski]

From the Boogie down streets of Queens to a pile of beans, A new cup of piping hot polish Italian java. Last podcast on the left and Spring Heeled Jack coffee are rising from the rubble with the new brew on. Butterfly Dudes Blue Eye Blend. Nothing to do with any moth based entity. Don't even think about it. This is a butterfly dude. Don't mind the blue eyes. He's just Caucasian. Our new proprietary roast might seem eerily similar, but don't let your tongue deceive you. It's a butterfly dude. Rose. This is the butterfly Dune's Blue Eye. Black entirely delicious and not just the same themes. Butterfly Dudes Blue Eye Blend. From the cocoon to your room.

[Ed Larson]

There's no place to escape to. This is the last on the left side stories.

[Henry Zabrowski]

That's when the cannibalism started. Side stories. Yes. All right, we are good.

[Ed Larson]

Good, man.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I am looking at this picture right now. I typed for some reason, I went through this thing and I found a bunch of.

[Ed Larson]

Is it of Kelly Reilly?

[Henry Zabrowski]

No, I don't want to.

[Ed Larson]

Because that's all you're doing. That's all you're talking about. These.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Bring her up.

[Ed Larson]

You. You're gonna get in trouble.

[Henry Zabrowski]

No, I did it. I kept it off mic.

[Ed Larson]

I hope you never meet her.

[Henry Zabrowski]

No, I don't want to. You keep that seductress away from me in my home. I don't need this woman destroying my family, destroying my marriage.

[Ed Larson]

She was British.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yes. She's from Breastington.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. You're chesting.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Oh, I'm sorry, Chess.

[Ed Larson]

Chessington.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yes.

[Ed Larson]

But yeah, first for sure Chestington.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I'm referring to the fake Texan Kelly Reilly. Yes. Is on yellow. Yes. She's a Montana. I. I'm just. I'm just die. She's.

[Ed Larson]

She's a Dutton.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I'm a fan. And she has been telepathic telling me. She has been telling me through the Internet that she's in love with me. And unfortunately I have to come and kill her husband. Yeah, but that's something else. That's a whole other side story. That's not on side stories. I did want to show you this.

[Ed Larson]

What is this?

[Henry Zabrowski]

This is from Brazilian wax museum.

[Ed Larson]

This is a picture Z be Pope Francis.

[Henry Zabrowski]

This is Pope Francis and does not.

[Ed Larson]

Look like Pope Francis.

[Henry Zabrowski]

But I think what's really funny, I.

[Ed Larson]

Did guess it was him.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yes, but you know what's funny about it? He looks like that now. Really? Have you seen the pictures of now?

[Ed Larson]

He evolved into this.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Well, he's got like bloated dying face. Because the Pope's dying.

[Ed Larson]

Yes, he's got pneumonia at 88. I don't care how many Catholic hospitals you got working on you. We're gonna end up with the worst cope once this guy's gone. There's no worse Pope. There is a worse. No, there is Pope of our lives.

[Henry Zabrowski]

No, he's not. He's lying. No, he's fucking lying, Eddie. No, he walked it all back. He's a fucking liar. He's a little headed elfin shoe.

[Ed Larson]

Is he not like gay people.

[Henry Zabrowski]

No, he's a fucking piece of shit. He walked it all back. Fuck him. I can't wait to see his death.

[Ed Larson]

Pope Francis doesn't like gay people. No.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Pope Francis can fucking suck a dick. But he wouldn't because he's afraid. Welcome to science.

[Ed Larson]

Who doesn't like gay people? He certainly picked a pretty gay way to call himself Frank. Exactly.

[Henry Zabrowski]

My name's Henry Zabrowski. I'm sitting here with Ed Larson.

[Ed Larson]

Oh, no, Henry. It's Kelly Riley.

[Henry Zabrowski]

No, Kelly Riley. You get away from me. You get the hell away from me. You get the hell away from me. You homewrecker, you. You're gross and I hate you. Kelly Riley. You get out of here. We were bringing it before this was off Mike moment I was expressing my admiration for Kelly Reilly as a performer.

[Ed Larson]

Oh yeah? What movies has she been in?

[Henry Zabrowski]

She's the one I made. There was one movie I saw in my dreams where she was the female captain of a ship and I was the first mate. And I Had to go in there and I said, let's put the mate first, mate. Yeah. She was just like, leave me alone, please. Even my dreams, I was rejected. But I have a beautiful wife who.

[Ed Larson]

Does look a lot like Kelly Reilly.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Kind of works out for me.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. Yeah. I think it is adorable that you're constantly attracted to women that look like Natalie.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yes. But also, it's like, to me, and I've said this to her before, nothing would make me happier for her to go out on a mission and kill this woman.

[Ed Larson]

Really?

[Henry Zabrowski]

Only just because I would find it incredibly hot, them fighting each other.

[Ed Larson]

Oh, yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

And then. And then her subsequent beating. Kelly Reilly. Only because it would be fun to watch.

[Ed Larson]

Well, how do you know she'd win?

[Henry Zabrowski]

Because Kelly Reilly has no training and she doesn't know it's coming.

[Ed Larson]

She doesn't have training, you're right. And she doesn't know what's coming. Well, now she does.

[Henry Zabrowski]

She's not listening.

[Ed Larson]

The warning's out there.

[Henry Zabrowski]

No, she's not going to. Yeah, I'm saying these are my. This is my. What I thought. What do you mean?

[Ed Larson]

Rational. She's not.

[Henry Zabrowski]

What is this, Ken? Oh, you're Google. AI. Fuck you. Yes, Kelly Reilly can fight as she's demonstrating a role as Beth Dutton on the show Yellowstone.

[Ed Larson]

Yes. Not the way she famously lost a fight in that. I didn't see that.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Well, I'm not quite aware of that before.

[Ed Larson]

She's all bloody and her fucking breasts are out.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I saw some clips.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's fucking. It's a. It's a hell of a scene.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I like this. Although the fight scenes may look real and bloody, the actors must stay in the mindset of being ferocious, which can be exhausting. Thanks, Google. Thanks, Google. AI. All right, so besides my. I guess a warning to Kelly Reilly. Just warn her and just to. Just tell her, I mean, no harm. Tell her we want her on the show. Ask her if she knows anything about aliens or flat earth. We talked about this earlier today. That would be great, honestly, if I could get two of those in there, we can have her on the show. I.

[Ed Larson]

But we.

[Henry Zabrowski]

We got big updates.

[Ed Larson]

Oh, yes, there's lots of stuff.

[Henry Zabrowski]

One of the biggest updates is can we. Do we have the Polish national anthem? I think we're allowed to play that. Yeah, Right, that's. That's. We have to play because again, ding.

[Ed Larson]

Dong, the witch is dead.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah, I do believe. Yeah. Roll out the barrel. Ro. The barrels again.

[Ed Larson]

Two sausages for me, three for you.

[Henry Zabrowski]

We just want to say congratulations to the fatherland. As it turns out, Jack the Ripper is Polish.

[Ed Larson]

What?

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yep. We got wild.

[Ed Larson]

Is he the first Polish serial killer? No, first and last. Well, biggest rich.

[Henry Zabrowski]

He was a very good employee that loved his job. See Jack the Ripper. Now this has been contested for at least a decade.

[Ed Larson]

What's DNA evidence?

[Henry Zabrowski]

But this is. It's been contested. We are still waiting on the final publication of the peer reviewed study of this DNA. But it's getting closer and closer every day. Now according to historian and I believe they call them Ripperologists which is what we were when we covered Jack the Ripper a million years ago. That's what we became.

[Ed Larson]

So you're a Ripperologist?

[Henry Zabrowski]

I was, but I'll always remember this was my favorite suspect back in the day.

[Ed Larson]

Okay, so this is.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I'm. I'm so happy for him.

[Ed Larson]

Not new?

[Henry Zabrowski]

No, it's not new. Russell Edwards is a historian slash Ripperologist that has been saying that. So a piece of what I guess is old timey come was on a scarf of Catherine Eddowes of one of the victims of Jack the Ripper. And this man has been I guess in this decades long hunt to finally finalize this DNA testing. And apparently using a family member of the Polish barber, Aaron Kosminski, there is a match. They're saying that they so now but they still have to go away. They have to verify everything again. So it is still not permanent. It is not yet the.

[Ed Larson]

Can I be an real quick?

[Henry Zabrowski]

Every day.

[Ed Larson]

All right, so he killed sex workers, right?

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

What if he was the guy before.

[Henry Zabrowski]

What do you mean?

[Ed Larson]

What if like she worked with him earlier that evening and he came on her scarf.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Well, this is.

[Ed Larson]

And then like later on that night she got killed by someone else.

[Henry Zabrowski]

The only thing that it seems to attach to it is the fact that Aaron Kaminsky it would. Aaron Kosminski being there at all would be massive him because he's Polish?

[Ed Larson]

Well, no, he's doing there.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Well it's because of the way line. He has all the attributes. So we think, we think that he was mentally ill, suffered from signs of schizophrenia. He said he had auditory and visual.

[Ed Larson]

Hallucinations like most of the people in.

[Henry Zabrowski]

My family of course but that's just because they're super creative. And then Aaron Kosminski was a barber surgeon. So if anybody had any butcher. So he had all these skill sets to cut and did which is exactly happened to all of these. So it was a mixture of both surgical cuts and raw animalistic cuts on all of the victims. So a mixture of these two things kind of fighting inside of somebody. So he kind of. And he had both. He then was locked up in an insane asylum in which he died. And when he was locked up, the Jack the Ripper crime stopped.

[Ed Larson]

Okay.

[Henry Zabrowski]

And we. So that is the main why we think it's him. And now they're saying that this is. We are one step closer to naming Aaron Kuzman the. As he will be Jack the Ripper. Eventually Jack the Ripper will disappear and will only be Aaron Kosminski.

[Ed Larson]

It's crazy how it's like two Johnny Depp movies came together. Sweeney Todd and From Hell.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

To be. To be real. The real thing.

[Henry Zabrowski]

The real thing. But there are other. I looked up other Polish serial killers. There's really not many.

[Ed Larson]

No.

[Henry Zabrowski]

There's George Chapman, there's Vaughn after the first one. I mean, they're always killed. They're like. It's. The problem is, is that I killed her.

[Ed Larson]

I did it.

[Henry Zabrowski]

When you stab a bunch of tricks or you stab a bunch of Cheerios.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

You leave a lot of mess.

[Ed Larson]

I get it.

[Henry Zabrowski]

You know what I'm saying?

[Ed Larson]

Serial killer.

[Henry Zabrowski]

You're Polish. I love it. We're being dumb here.

[Ed Larson]

We're allowed.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Joseph Zargruzkisk, which was the czar. Kruski's family was a family of Polish murderers. Which honestly sounds great. But the most. They did it for robbery. They murdered other families. Honestly, this sounds like an amazing story.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

We should do this story. Wow.

[Ed Larson]

Quick Wikipedia search. Really just found a new three part lpn.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah. Pull a serial killer pedophile. Killed two young boys and an adult man. So not a gold star pedophile.

[Ed Larson]

No.

[Henry Zabrowski]

That's a problem. I judgment on you. And so it looks like if it all. You know, fingers crossed, if this all comes out, if the tests come out right, Jack the Ripper will be Polish. Which is the biggest get that the Polish community has had since vegan kielbasa.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, we haven't had. Is there vegan kielbasa?

[Henry Zabrowski]

Unfortunately, yes. But you know where it's really good. What the hell is the name of this restaurant?

[Ed Larson]

The Vegan's place.

[Henry Zabrowski]

That's where you got to go. It's a vegan Polish place in Pittsburgh called Abdeka.

[Ed Larson]

Really?

[Henry Zabrowski]

It's amazing.

[Ed Larson]

Interesting.

[Henry Zabrowski]

It's super delicious vegan Polish food. It's really, really good.

[Ed Larson]

I just don't know if I could make the choice to eat vegan Polish food when you can eat normal.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Absolutely no reason to.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

And it's really stupid. I don't know why they did it, but it's a big get for Polish people.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. Because these are vegan.

[Henry Zabrowski]

No, they are absolutely not.

[Ed Larson]

What do you mean they're not.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yes, they're not. They're eggs sometimes in the dough for the. For the. The. The. The. The noodle.

[Ed Larson]

That's right.

[Henry Zabrowski]

You got the. All the stuff in there. Like, you know, it's not necessarily vegan when you're cooking it. You'd have to do it in a vegetable broth. Yeah. Because. Exactly. And then the potato. You got cheese in there. They're not traditionally vegan. And so I. You know. You know, but it's good for us. It's good for optics. This is good for polish optics.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, yeah. Now that, you know, we've seen worse somehow. No, it's before we were.

[Henry Zabrowski]

No, I'm saying the vegan. The vegan Polish food is good for us.

[Ed Larson]

Oh, it's gonna keep them alive.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yes. I'm saying that. No, the Jack the Ripper being Polish. Just as fun.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. I think the vegan Polish restaurant would do better if they didn't tell people it was vegan.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Well, they have to. They say healthy, but Polish food, if you don't. And if it's like you remember the Chris Farley commercial when they switched the coffee to the crystals.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

What do you think is going to happen in Pittsburgh? If you lie to a user about the food he just ate is vegan? He's going to fucking shoot you in the head, man.

[Ed Larson]

I got to say, I've been watching the show, the Pit. I've been loving it. I really do love this show.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Is that the show where you just sit in the shower and watch little boys wash each other? Is that that show?

[Ed Larson]

Or is it so glad I got that waterproof case for my phone? No, but the. The pit, the new hospital procedure show, it's just like. I don't like hospital procedure shows. No, I watched it, you know, I was like, I'll just put it on for the hell of it. Blew my mind. I cried twice.

[Henry Zabrowski]

What? The commercial.

[Ed Larson]

I talked to my doctor friends about the Pit. I was like, are. Is this real? And they're like, apparently, it's like the most accurate doctor show that's ever existed.

[Henry Zabrowski]

But.

[Ed Larson]

But there's no yins and it all takes place in Pittsburgh.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Oh, yeah.

[Ed Larson]

No one's yinning it up.

[Henry Zabrowski]

No. Yeah, that's not real.

[Ed Larson]

It's. It's, like, very accurate as far as, like, an emergency room goes, but not to the environment. One yin in the fucking show.

[Henry Zabrowski]

If you met a Pittsburgh nurse, especially.

[Ed Larson]

In the fucking er, like the people coming through.

[Henry Zabrowski]

My mother in law is a Pittsburgh nurse.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

And that Yin's accent, so strong. You guys, would you. If you met a Pittsburgh nurse, you wouldn't understand her English.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

That's how thick her Pittsburgh accent is. You would not like. It would be like you're in a foreign country. That is the rural heart.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Pittsburgh. And that's working. That's working person's accent.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. They should have just put it somewhere where people don't have strong accents, you know, because it was like, you know, Chicago Hope worked out. I guess Chicago even has it. But this is like.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah, but Chicago accents, very rare. I feel like the Chicago accent I only even really heard from a big fat piece of. Yeah. You know what I mean?

[Ed Larson]

Get the away from me type of.

[Henry Zabrowski]

But not in a bad way. I don't even mean that as I.

[Ed Larson]

Stepped on my shoes.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I don't mean that as an insult.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, no, no.

[Henry Zabrowski]

That's just the type of guy.

[Ed Larson]

It's just a fact.

[Henry Zabrowski]

In Chicago.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

We know this.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, yeah. But I think. Yeah. No, I love the show. I think it's great. But I didn't. I'm just mad about the lack of Yin.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Well, I will say that not only Eddie, I'm so glad that he told me he's into medical dramas. He also showed me another really sad fact as a we. Right before the show, we were talking about how cool we used to be and how much fun we used to have. And Eddie brought up the only way he's allowed to enjoy things with sugar now is that he has to get flavored kefir from the store. And then he just puts a spoon of it in his mouth at night.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

And he just lets it sit in his mouth.

[Ed Larson]

That's how I do it. And it keeps me from eating a fucking little demi king.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I think we're the same sadist.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, I know. That's. That's their 40s, man. If you're younger, enjoy it.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I. I actively eat seeds.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. Chia seeds. Every morning.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Every morning.

[Ed Larson]

Every morning. I say it does something good to me other than get stuck in my teeth. I haven't feel. I don't feel any different.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Why am I eating bird seed?

[Ed Larson]

I feel no different.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I don't know. They said the same thing.

[Ed Larson]

I'm just doing it. They tell me to.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I'm doing it because you're doing it.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

The probiotic seed also like same because you're doing it.

[Ed Larson]

Taking it, you know, I feel. I feel no different. Also, it's like butt. At same time, I was consistently feeling worse.

[Henry Zabrowski]

See, this is nice. The calming is here for both of us. And to remember, sometimes you need probiotics. Yes, you do.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. Just take them. Eat your kefir.

[Henry Zabrowski]

And sometimes you have to trust the goat because the goat is in the field.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. And its cheese is, you know, slightly healthier.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Sure. And the goat, he wouldn't do anything to hurt you. Nah, nah, Woody, nah. Now I'm getting angry again. There we go. All right, so we.

[Ed Larson]

All right.

[Henry Zabrowski]

We got more updates.

[Ed Larson]

Yes, yes.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Oh, more updates.

[Ed Larson]

We are in business.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah, we are. We are in business. And business is good. The Ziz. I'm gonna start calling. That's what I wanted. That's it. Now it's no longer.

[Ed Larson]

We write a musical that's like, based off of the Wiz, but it's all about Zizzy is. And it's called the Ziz. We have cut this out.

[Henry Zabrowski]

We have to write this out.

[Ed Larson]

We just lost a million dollars.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah. It's like my favorite whiz song is the. What's it. Oh, the. Who is the good one?

[Ed Larson]

The Wiz.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Oh, yeah, the really good song. There's a.

[Ed Larson]

There's a dance in the.

[Henry Zabrowski]

He's on down. Ease on down the road. Yeah, we're going to eat on down. Eat on down the road. I can definitely see Ziz doing that.

[Ed Larson]

This is. Yeah, man.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Hey, how you doing? It's me. I'm the Z. The Z has been caught. We did not know that this is. Could be caught, but this is. Is contained. Jack lasota, the dead name of Ziz, has been arrested. Finally. Now, this is.

[Ed Larson]

Oh, my God. I thought of another good one. You remember the show Oz, the prison show?

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

This could be the Zizard of Oz, and he could follow them in prison. We're gonna make a lot of money off of these people.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I can't wait to. We're gonna drain this. We're gonna drain this content gulch. So here we go. This is the cult, like, with the. So we've been covering over this over the last couple weeks. This group, they call themselves the Zizians. It seems like it is a group of somehow connected young students that are either in the biomechanical, biomedical sphere, slash computer programming, and then also in the. The world of AI. They have formed this sort of death cult in which the majority of the members are trans and they don't believe in private property. They also believe in this concept of Roko's Basilisk, this idea that they are going to help AI take over and. And work with AI because they believe that once AI becomes sentient and becomes our overlords, they will go back, they will be peaceful and filled with wisdom, but they will go back in time and destroy anybody that was ever against AI and so Ziz wants to get ahead of that by joining forces with the AI. But again, we talked about this last week. If we listen to some of our tech leaders, I think AI is a bit off.

[Ed Larson]

Yes.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I think we got some time before we're going to get there. But now. So Jack sort of finally got arrested. 33 years old. They've been charged with trespass, having a gun in a vehicle and obstructing and hindering all misdemeanors. Now, this is an Allegheny. So this is. This is down. Well, this is Pittsburgh.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Well, western male. This is now Western Maryland. They're in Maryland. And so now they're all in jail. And here's the list of the crew we got. Here is the fucking. This group of fucking absolutely no bail. No bail. Because now they're trying to figure out what to do with them. This is the people that have been arrested since 2019. We have Jack Lasota, Alexander Letham, Emma Bar Honian and Gwen Danielson, Maximilian Snyder and Teresa Youngbloods. They have all been involved in so far a murder of a landlord, which is why we're all like, it was sad for us.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Murder of a border agent.

[Ed Larson]

Yes.

[Henry Zabrowski]

We have the murder of two separate parents and it looks like the murder of two other people as well that were connected to the families of these people. Ziz has been ordering them to break away from their families. Do this thing called, what's it, Non hemispheric sleep, or one hemispheric sleep, where they let one side of their brain sleep and let the other side of their brain sleep and they believe they can split into two different personalities. It's gobbledygook. We went through their manifesto. It's absolute horeshit. They're wrong. And honestly, I think if the AI was real, he wouldn't choose you. Is I think that unironically he would choose me.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

So I'm sorry, Z. They're going to come for somebody. I think that we're going to be the hardest ones to channel. I don't think that the AI is going to have problems with, meaning people working on programming and biomechanical engineering and all that stuff. I think the AI is going to have that handled. I think the AI is going to need comedians.

[Ed Larson]

Yes. Because no one, I mean we still write better jokes than AI Still.

[Henry Zabrowski]

It's still the main thing that we still got.

[Ed Larson]

Their emails are pretty good though. AI. AI can write the out of an email.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Eddie Re. Look at the email.

[Ed Larson]

I mean I don't do, I don't use it.

[Henry Zabrowski]

You don't.

[Ed Larson]

But I will personally don't use it.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Again. I tried because I was like I had to, you know, like I went through all things. You have to reread the email after that. You have it. Right. Because once you, once you write the email and then you have chat GBT go through all the whatever kind of fix it or whatever, they're always wrong. Chat gbt's an idiot. Also all of these reread it, you.

[Ed Larson]

Might, in that time you could have just.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Exactly. Yes. Except for Grammarly. Grammarly is good. I honestly they are. Oh, but Grammarly is different than ChatGPT. Grammarly. It's one of the most intuitive, incredible sentence building programs that you can have. And I couldn't move if I didn't have Grammarly. I would be so paralyzed I probably would commit suicide. So thanks Grammarly. That's a free one. Take it off the budget. One good one.

[T-Mobile Representative]

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[Henry Zabrowski]

Allow 15 days qualifying unlock device, credit service port in 90 plus days with device and eligible carrier and timely redemptor required card has no cash access and expires in six months. This podcast is brought to you by Squarespace. Squarespace is the all in one website platform for entrepreneurs to stand out and succeed online. You make a website, you use the website succeed. Thanks Squarespace. Now that I found the little boy that now is running the horse picks empire, I am angry with the witch that he is handling it. A lot of these horses, honestly it's subpar and a lot of it's pretty lazy. The current J.D. vance horse that they just put a beard on is honestly, as far as I'm concerned, extremely, extremely offensive to me as a person with a former bearded face. So that's why I have started My own new website, thanks to Squarespace. Destroy Horsepix.com because the goal is to go after this rogue child that took my dream and perverted it. And. Huh. And the only entity that can help me in my search for revenge against this one childlike entrepreneur is Squarespace. Check out squarespace.com for a free trial. And when you're Ready to launch squarespace.com left to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. I'm coming for you, Charlie Bucket.

[Multicare Representative]

Our state has changed a lot in the last 140 years. We know because MultiCare has been here guided by a single making our communities healthier. That comes from making courageous decisions, partnering with local communities to grow programs and services and expanding healthcare access to those who need it most. Together, we're building a healthier future. Learn more at.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Obviously now we're going to find out what's going to go on. I imagine that Ziz is going to. This is going to talk a lot from jail. I think that they're going to use this opportunity to really broadcast their message when we're going to see how that works. Because the problem again, which I'll always say is that if the, if they're there, right, they're using this very complicated barrier to entry, using this kind of absolutely nonsensical manifesto and a mishmash of different philosophy, philosophical ideas.

[Ed Larson]

Why don't they have AI write the manifesto? Yeah, yeah. That's. I mean like, if you care about AI so much, let it. Right. Let it write the manifesto.

[Henry Zabrowski]

This is why I don't think they're real.

[Ed Larson]

Chat GPT. Could you write me a manifesto?

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah. Not long enough, actually. Can we get the Druids in there?

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. You didn't list Amy Schumer as an influence. Could you go back and.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Remember that? I'll always remember that. But you know why I also don't believe them that they really work for the AI is that. Oddly enough, I think that I, I'd expect them to be dumpier. I kind of expected them to be what you're saying, which is like if you're a real AI led cult, this is how you've led the cult. It's like this. Yes. With the laptop on your upper belly. Just. Yes. Chatgpt. Tell them I have to have sex with their wives.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Have sex with their children. Like that's what. What. That's what a true AI led cult would be. But they're. We're gonna find out exactly. More. They're probably gonna try to explain more what their rationalist movement is and what rationalism is. And they're. And in that moment, they'll put us all so thoroughly to sleep, we'll finally get rest.

[Ed Larson]

This one guy looks like you found in a river.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Who?

[Ed Larson]

The guy with the glasses. What do you think?

[Henry Zabrowski]

You think that looks like me?

[Ed Larson]

I said if you were found in a river.

[Henry Zabrowski]

That's a. That's a Middle Eastern man. You know, I'm just a Middle Eastern man.

[Ed Larson]

Is he.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Whose mustache does not connect to his goatee.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, well, you know, the river ran a bunch of.

[Henry Zabrowski]

He looks nothing like me. You piece of.

[Ed Larson]

I said. I said if it was. If you. If you were, like, just formed by a river.

[Henry Zabrowski]

But it's not me.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, it's not you. It's not me. It wasn't an insult.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Not yet.

[Ed Larson]

It's an insult to him.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Let's do this. All right. Let's go. Let's move on.

[Ed Larson]

All right. My number one story of the week.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Oh, these are. Yeah, this is a good one.

[Ed Larson]

Is.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Ed Larson]

Tastes like tradition. Raccoon dinner brings international fame to Ohio. Lions Club. That's right. Got this one from cincinnati.com. love you, Cincinnati. But Cincinnati is not the host of the raccoon.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Oh, it's. Oh, it didn't want it. It didn't want that honor.

[Ed Larson]

No, the. The raccoon dinner is in Danville, Ohio. Okay. Danville, Ohio. Yes. So basically what it is, is every year they have.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I'm looking at these pictures now.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, they have a raccoon dinner for lots of people. And It's. This year, 600 people showed up to the raccoon dinner. There's only a thousand people in this town.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Raccoon meat looks horrible.

[Ed Larson]

You know, raccoon meat looks horrible. I was curious.

[Henry Zabrowski]

How is it stew? It looks like it's stewed.

[Ed Larson]

All right, so, Rob, I sent you a video, okay. On raccoon. A man preparing raccoon meat. Because I knew this was going to come up, and it's like every worst.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Person in Danville arrived.

[Ed Larson]

All right, well, this is some New Orleans raccoon.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I know. Well, that's different. I'll eat. Why is it. That's different. Why. Hold it one second. Why is New Orleans raccoon meat so much different than Ohio?

[Ed Larson]

Because, you know, going to put spices in it. Raccoon meat in Ohio, it's, you know, they're not going to season it. You know, New Orleans, they're seasoning it now. Kermit Ruffins over at the mother in law. Law Lounge. He cooks raccoon for every Super Bowl. He always.

[Henry Zabrowski]

That's different. I will eat Kern Ruffin's raccoon. That's different.

[Ed Larson]

But check out this fella. What's his name?

[Henry Zabrowski]

Rob.

[Ed Larson]

He's great. I. He's one of my favorite follows.

[Henry Zabrowski]

This is Bernard H. 14.

[Ed Larson]

That's right. That's on Tik Tok, but on Instagram, it's something else. I'll find it out for you guys. But check this out. Henry. Look at this guy. He made a bunch of raccoon. Let's hear it, man.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I got me a nice bed of rice right here. I got my coon cooked down inside some gravy right here.

[Ed Larson]

Look at that.

[Henry Zabrowski]

There's some good eating. Look at that. I'm going right in. I ain't waiting for it.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, baby. Tell me you actually don't want this.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Well, yes, sir. He could debone some of.

[Ed Larson]

Slides right off. Once you put it in your mouth.

[Henry Zabrowski]

The bones are like. The bones are horrific on it.

[Ed Larson]

This guy. Guy's great. He also cooks bear and like that.

[Henry Zabrowski]

They put too much sugar in the yams, though, sometimes.

[Ed Larson]

Oh, this guy's definitely not going to live forever.

[Henry Zabrowski]

This is too much sugar in the yams. You can see it's too much caramelization. It's the only thing. The only thing I'll push back on. Yeah, they like.

[Ed Larson]

Did he just mention diabetes?

[Henry Zabrowski]

It's a comb bread. Yeah. That's good eating right there.

[Ed Larson]

It is good eating.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Good country eating. We got a coon. We got the gravy. We got some carrots in there. We got some onions in there.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

We got a little potatoes cooked down inside there.

[Ed Larson]

Listen, this guy talks.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah, there's something peaceful. Hot sauce. That's all we need right there.

[Ed Larson]

He's great. He fries snake and like that. He's unbelievable.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I've had snake. It's kind of.

[Ed Larson]

It's boring.

[Henry Zabrowski]

And.

[Ed Larson]

Well, this is a boa constrictor. He, like. He like. He'll like, lower. Like he's got this, like. He's got this giant fryer that's like bigger than this table. And he'll like. He has a crank and he'll, like, lower an entire snake into it. And he also. He'll smoke like, full, like, bare legs and like that. This guy's great. Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Whoa. See, still. I mean, I've. I have had steak. It's just. It's weird.

[Ed Larson]

That big? No.

[Henry Zabrowski]

But I don't know if all the snake meat is different.

[Ed Larson]

I bet it is.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Side stories. LP gmail.com.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, every cat tastes differently. I know that much. So tickets for the event were $15 for adults. Thanks for letting me just have that.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yep.

[Ed Larson]

I just let it go for children less than 12. So if you're over 12, you got to pay full price for the raccoon dinner.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Sorry.

[Ed Larson]

The feast included mashed potatoes, green be, cornbread, and a drink and dessert, and, of course, a generous helping of roasted raccoon. If you did not like the raccoon, you could eat ham. That sounds great.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Were you a. Like, look at this fat guy.

[Ed Larson]

He's wearing a raccoon on his head.

[Henry Zabrowski]

He's got a raccoon hat. He's got a raccoon shirt. I love shuffling it in his mouth. Oh, God.

[Ed Larson]

When people love something so much, but they still, like, want to kill and eat it, you know, it's funny. It's so bizarre to me. I am a perverse, Right?

[Henry Zabrowski]

Like, I'm a fool meat pervert.

[Ed Larson]

Right?

[Henry Zabrowski]

I'm a food pervert. I'm totally fine to eat whatever this kind of stuff. I'm not. I'm not even really.

[Ed Larson]

I do love piggies.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I do like pigs, but it's like, I. I will eat anything. I will eat raccoon. I have no issues with eating this raccoon.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I think that I do wish they debone it a bit. I think that if you took it off the bone, I'd like it a little bit.

[Ed Larson]

Well, when's the last time you had goat?

[Henry Zabrowski]

I like goat.

[Ed Larson]

But goats on the bone, it'll always have a little.

[Henry Zabrowski]

It'll have pieces of bone in it.

[Ed Larson]

You got to be careful when you eat the goat because that little bone can slide down your throat and they can cause an infection inside your esophagus, and then you'll die of seps.

[Henry Zabrowski]

You're making me afraid.

[Ed Larson]

Happened before.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I am afraid. But no, I've had goat. But there's. Why is goat different to me? Because it's bigger and it's got four legs. Where. There's something about a raccoon, it's the size of Carmi.

[Ed Larson]

I just hate that they're eating raccoon that's not really seasoned well.

[Henry Zabrowski]

They're just sucking on the spine. Why is he sucking on the spine like that?

[Ed Larson]

I mean, I'll do that with any animal I eat.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah. You know what's funny is that. Yeah. It's just the man behind it. Because I've done this, remember, with the who. Here we go. Brooklyn Star, where they serve the pigtail.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. Those are so good. Little piggy chicken wings.

[Henry Zabrowski]

And they were like pig chicken wings. They were the, the pig's actual tails and you just suck all the meat out of little rings. Okay. Yeah. See actually I'm kind of getting turned on now.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. So this event's been around for since I think the 50s. They've been doing it forever. They served over 500 pounds of raccoon meat. Which it basically it's about 750 me or raccoons. I think it's three 100 and 79 raccoons to make 750 meals. I don't even know where you.

[Henry Zabrowski]

That motherfucker ate one whole.

[Ed Larson]

The scariest town to be a raccoon in.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

Ohio. I mean shout out to Travis Irvine who's made multiple raccoon themed films in Ohio. It's true. Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

So between Travis, your wife who's a big. And this is like. Does your wife every eaten.

[Ed Larson]

She's no, no, she doesn't eat raccoon, unfortunately.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Would she eat raccoon?

[Ed Larson]

I think if I try to talk her into it, she'd take a bite. But I would say so. Look at this. The meat they say is free range because raccoons eat fruit, nuts, corn, fish, frogs, insects, bird aids and rodents.

[Henry Zabrowski]

It's a raccoon.

[Ed Larson]

It's like oh, but it all. It is free range. Yeah, it is free. I mean they don't really have a home, you know. And I will say another thing about record, but we eat oysters. They eat trash. You know, they live their bottom feeders.

[Henry Zabrowski]

A lot of those.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, it's very Oysters grosser than a raccoon.

[Henry Zabrowski]

No way.

[Ed Larson]

I've never looked at an oyster and be like, that's a good boy.

[Henry Zabrowski]

No, you wouldn't. I wouldn't eat it. I, I, this is the things that an oyster a lot of times it's like it'll either be farmed or it'll be in a specific part of the world. It's, it is oyster areas. So it is, it is cleaner for the oyster.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

These are quote unquote free range raccoons. The raccoons you see in the street of Danville, Ohio.

[Ed Larson]

Yes.

[Henry Zabrowski]

It's just a raccoon. That's not a free. There's not a. There's no caged raised cat raccoon. There's no farm raised raccoon. There's just. There is only free range raccoon.

[Ed Larson]

Yes. No, I was. It's interesting. I want to know where they got all these raccoons.

[Henry Zabrowski]

From besides rats, it's the most free range thing that exists.

[Ed Larson]

Well, a lot of people think it's a marsupial. A lot of people think a raccoon is a rodent. But the truth is they're closer related to bears than anything else.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Sure. I've heard bear meat is not particularly very, very good either.

[Ed Larson]

Well, we'd have to talk to our boy who's smoking it down in New Orleans.

[Henry Zabrowski]

We had some. We actually I was curious about bear meat once and I got a lot of messages talking about bear meat and they. It's very greasy.

[Ed Larson]

Oh yeah. And they say that this is greasy as well. They've been preparing raccoon as an art for the members of the Dansville Lions club for over 82 years.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I'd like to. Now I am. I don't want to be in that room with this man, the man that is in the picture of this. I don't want to be with him.

[Ed Larson]

There's a lot of MAGA hats in the room too.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Oh, no, it is definitely a comfort. This is a very, this is a safe space for maga.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I don't, don't want to. I don't want to be in that room, but I would eat that raccoon. Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

One of the cooks, Sandy Crow, said I was asked if I wanted to make four pies for the dinner or if I wanted to cook raccoon. So I started cooking raccoon because I don't like to make pies.

[Henry Zabrowski]

What I prefer is the hunting down of a trash animal. I like to go out there myself. I take some tuna and I put it in a can on a string and I bring a hammer and I entice him with the hammer and then I hit him in the head. I hit him in the head with the hammer and I hit him and I smashed their brains. And it's so much better than figuring out dough.

[Ed Larson]

So they take the prepared. This is how they cook it in Danville, not how our boy cooks it. They take the raccoons that are dressed and like processed and then they like.

[Henry Zabrowski]

A sweater and sweatpants or.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And they, they soak them in salt water for a day.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Oh, so they brine them.

[Ed Larson]

They brine them and then they say that no spices are need during cooking.

[Henry Zabrowski]

That is just the most on. Is the most Ohio gross I have ever heard. Get your together, get your together. Smoked paprika, garlic, black pepper. You want to have. I, I would say coriander might be good in there. Some cumin, chili powder, mix it all together in a rub. You're going to want to brine it, you're going to want to rub it and you're going to want to braise it. Then you brown it. Then you braise that with some nice. You see, then I feel like we're in a territory that I'm in now. I'm eating it. Cuz this sounds good. You could throw some okra in there. You could throw corn and stuff in there. And then you slap that in a big old bucket and you let that rock for four hours. Yeah, I will eat that in a second.

[Ed Larson]

Exactly.

[Henry Zabrowski]

But this guy. These guys are morons.

[Ed Larson]

They're just boiling raccoon with onions.

[Henry Zabrowski]

You're just killing and essentially burning them at the stake. You're just like killing raccoons. It's very sad. It's very, very sad.

[Ed Larson]

Sad.

[Henry Zabrowski]

You know, it's like. Is it sad the way they catch them is sad.

[Ed Larson]

How do they catch them?

[Henry Zabrowski]

They just let dogs chase them and they corner them and then they just.

[Ed Larson]

So they're contaminated by dogs.

[Henry Zabrowski]

But I will. How they do it. Yeah. And then can I say though, it's not fun. Raccoon traps, guys. That's fun for the dogs. So somebody's having fun. Okay. It's fun for the dogs. The raccoons, they don't know what's going on because it does seem to sort of be like one of those night of the long knives.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

That happened to the Jewish people.

[Ed Larson]

Okay.

[Henry Zabrowski]

During the. Not the rise of the Nazis or. All of these raccoons are just hanging out one day, just wondering, acting like everything's fine. And the next day, all of a sudden it's culling season because we got to kill 179 of you to. To feed Randy's fat ass. And he has no idea. And then all of a sudden you got the SS showing up. So the dogs as turncoats when I go fear vase of making you squeak.

[Ed Larson]

What about what if. What if it was farmed meat? Would you feel better about that?

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah, a little bit.

[Ed Larson]

If there was a raccoon farm somewhere.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I'm down for animals raised, used as food and treated well to be.

[Ed Larson]

But isn't it better to go hunt for your food?

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yes, but those animals, you know what you're eating? Raccoons eat liquid only if they're healthy. That's what I'm saying. I would prefer to have a raccoon be in a place where no, we know what it's eating.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

And then you can fill it with all sorts of stuff. And then eventually you could start feeding it butter and. And spices and you could fatten up its little organs. And then we can make raccoon. Some raccoon pat day, which I've never seen. Oh, God, Rob. Oh, it's this little face. It looks like Carmi. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, my God. It looks like.

[Ed Larson]

Oh, Rob.

[Henry Zabrowski]

It looks like how they do it, though.

[Ed Larson]

You gotta. Yeah, you gotta boil the whole thing again, though.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I'll eat it as soon as it's out.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. This thing, it said. They said that it actually started out as a prank, the whole party.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Oh, I bet.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I bet.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Sure. Because it's again, it's. It's were cosplaying what poor people had to eat. We were eating it for fun because they had to eat it. Now we're eating it because we've decided it's fun. And then these guys like it even better because it harkens back to a time period in which black people couldn't vote.

[Ed Larson]

Well, back in 1939, Clyde Bamberry offered to cook a meal for the club. When they all arrived, they realized he was feeding them raccoon. The friends all played along, ate the raccoon, and discovered that they actually, like, hey, you know.

[Henry Zabrowski]

And that's the last time anyone in Ohio's ever been open minded.

[Ed Larson]

They're quoted and saying they all thought it was the coolest thing that ever happened. When the next year rolled around, they all got the idea to just go ahead and do it again.

[Henry Zabrowski]

And the raccoons are like, what? No living fuck is happening. This went from Shangri La to Auschwitz.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

This was our home.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

This is our place. And now we are hunted for our friends.

[Ed Larson]

Flash. 82 years strong. Hey, Danville, Ohio. Lions Club, they love it.

[Henry Zabrowski]

You know what? And you know what I'll say is in the name of the ziz. In the name of, like, in a lot of people going on, we need more awareness and stuff. I feel like what we should do is let's flip the script. Let's get LGBTQ raccoon boil.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

That's what we need to equalize the forces here. If you guys really want to really play games here in the United States of America, if you want to be a part of the big. The big team team, right? You got to start going to the people. And I think that if we get the LGBT crowd to get into eating raccoon, we take it from them.

[Ed Larson]

Yes. They. They decided one day to make it a fundraiser and. And then they're like, oh. And then it started getting even bigger, and so they put it in the high school cafeteria, and they were cooking the raccoon in the high school cafeteria. But then it outgrew the high school cafeteria, and so they had to move it again to the St. Luke's Community center across the street from the high school. And they made it a fundraiser. But it does not say where the funds go. Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Because I feel like it's some guy who shows up me like, oh, it's. You guys are cooking raccoon.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. Just so excited about it.

[Henry Zabrowski]

My God. Yeah. Well, you know, again, I feel that there's nothing wrong with eating raccoon. There's a lot of people to do it. It probably speaks a lot to your demographic as a human being, which I say let's flip. Flip it for them.

[Ed Larson]

More spices, though.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah. Wow. Because. Yeah. She'd like to make pies. I cook raccoon for probably 30 years.

[Ed Larson]

Yep, that's right.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Well, God. Well, God. At least it's not the. It's a Danville Lions club, but at least it's not the Danville Raccoons club because they would be out of luck. All right, so we have a couple of stories about consequences.

[Ed Larson]

Oh, nice.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Now this one I. I just think is, obviously, this is a tragedy and this is a crime.

[Ed Larson]

Crime.

[Henry Zabrowski]

And there's nothing funny about the story.

[Ed Larson]

All right, I'll try not to laugh.

[Henry Zabrowski]

There's nothing funny about it. And I refuse to let you laugh.

[Ed Larson]

Okay.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Or me.

[Ed Larson]

All right. I will be stone faced.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Now, Louisville, it's a fun town. No, that's nothing funny about it. Nothing funny about it. Louisville facing to the man. He's a business owner. He's facing several charges after allegedly kidnapping and beating a shoplifter who stole vape pens in the Algonquin neighborhood of Louisville. Now, I don't think shoplifting is that big of a crime.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I think that obviously it comes from a lot of systemic issues.

[Ed Larson]

Yes.

[Henry Zabrowski]

And it's just money. It's just goods. A lot of it is. Unless it's a small shop.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. Which a vape store usually is.

[Henry Zabrowski]

You. You do. It is. But it's vapes, you know?

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

So the owner of the vape store, Kashmir Car Patel, he was in court this week because. So he saw this guy. This guy took a box of vapes out of the store without paying for it.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

So the man ran away on foot. And Patel and several others of his staff gave chase when they caught up to him. This is where it kind of Went crazy. So, you know, as a retail person, when I worked in retail, we were told to go try to stop him. We never did. And I will also say, if you currently work in retail, and you all know. You all know this already, you let them go. You don't run after these people. There's no reason to.

[Ed Larson]

You're not allowed to touch them. My buddy worked at Publix and he tackled someone stealing food and he got fired.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah. As he should have. Because also it's food. And most of the time they're stealing it because they are. They're hungry.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

And so this guy, they. They. Because these are vapes, Right. They're optional. So they caught up to the. The thief, and Patel and his associates, they jumped out of the van and they pepper sprayed the victim in the face. Now that's already a lot, right? Yeah. But then the guy started crawling away and they were like, no, you're not going to crawl away. So they all started group stomping them. Right. So they all start group stomping them. It's real bad, right? It's bad.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. I mean, you know, you don't around in these vape stores.

[Henry Zabrowski]

No, not in Louisville.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

And then it's really the final disgracement is the thing is so. Which I've never seen someone do and I've never heard of this before, they kept going. So what they did was that they. They held the man down. And then Patel, the owner of the store, pulled the man's pants down and underwear, took the pepper spray, spread the man's butt cheeks and sprayed the pepper spray into his anus.

[Ed Larson]

Right in the middle of Louisville streets.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Right. Right in the strike zone. Louisville strike zone. Yeah. Right. And it was bad, of course. They pulled him into a van, they took him to a garage where they beat him with a piece of wood.

[Ed Larson]

They kept going.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Oh, yeah.

[Ed Larson]

Over vapes.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Oh, yes. How many vapes was this? A box. One box of vapes.

[Ed Larson]

I'm going to. And then I'm going to guess that one box is 12.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Maybe. Court records say the victim was then put back in the van, then driven to the 1500 block of Lee street where he was dropped off like Fangbros. The victim called his mother to pick him up, which is the saddest of all, that he had to then call his mom to come get him and then he was all fucked up.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. What does that even do to you when you get pepper sprayed inside Uranus?

[Henry Zabrowski]

I believe it's called hot tush. And hot tush is one of the hardest. It's honestly, it is such a pandemic in this country. Country.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Because of how many people that believe that you can actually make your hands warmer by spraying your booty hole with pepper spray. I brought my perennially cold hands. I have very cold hands.

[Ed Larson]

I can't believe that this is the story out of Louisville after they had that horrible flood this week.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Like, 11 people died.

[Ed Larson]

And this is.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Went right to the top of the news cycle. Top of the news cycle. Just happened. Came out. Yeah. So this is guy, he's out there. I just think the idea of, like. Because now he's being held. He is being held with complicity for kidnapping, a stupid assault, wanton endangerment. He's. He's $75,000. He did make his bond at $75,000.

[Ed Larson]

He sells vapes. They got a lot of disposable income.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I guess that's just what it is. It's like nothing is worth this. This. This consequences. He went. Obviously, I think he overreacted.

[Ed Larson]

If he would have stole all the money out of the register, he should not have acted like this again.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I think that what he did was rash cash and that.

[Ed Larson]

And that's what he created.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I was sorry. You're allowed. And there's nothing funny about it.

[Ed Larson]

No, no, no, no.

[Henry Zabrowski]

But I do think that the man. I mean, he. Everyone throwing that league, they definitely dropped the shoplifting charges.

[Ed Larson]

Oh, they did. So he's not getting charged with shoplifting?

[Henry Zabrowski]

No, no, no. Not after you get to your booty hole. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I think they're like, yeah, I think this is a. Enough. You know what I would do if I was a police officer? I'd make him smoke the whole box. That's what I would do. Just like they did back in the day. Oh, oh, you want to steal vapes?

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

You smoke every one of them.

[Ed Larson]

Well, here's an interesting way that someone else is dealing with shoplifting in a more responsible manner. All right? A Michigan judge sentences Walmart shoplifters to wash cars in the parking lot.

[Henry Zabrowski]

It's not a bad idea.

[Ed Larson]

Yes. And so this Michigan Walmart, Walmart has had so many people steal from it that the prices are starting to go up. There's more security there. They're threatening to close the store completely. And it's not a big town, so they kind of need this Walmart where.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Mine, where Natalie's grandmother is in Michigan, that Walmart is the center of their life. Yes, it is where everybody is. There is the Walmart. There's a McDonald's and Taco Bell. Yeah, there's a one hotel and there is a CVS. But that Walmart, Walmart is where everyone goes. It is extremely necessary to that town.

[Ed Larson]

Sadly, yes, no. If we can't go back 50 years and erase what. Walmart is evil.

[Henry Zabrowski]

It's over, it's done. Yeah, we all fucked with it. It's over. They're gonna, we already know they're making corporate nations. That is going to be the next steps. Just understand that it's going to be Walmart nature. You're going to be able to go choose which corporation you want to live in. It is going to happen. Just know that.

[Ed Larson]

Well, you know, I think there's a long way to go.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I'm just saying that's the dream. That's their dream.

[Ed Larson]

That's their. Yes, but so this judge, Jeffrey Clothier, what he's doing now is that people have been stealing from there so often and he's under the opinion there's a quote from him. I don't think everyone that steals is a bad person.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I can't believe that.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, sometimes people are just down on their luck. But there's gotta be consequences for when you break the law. So what he is doing doing is anyone who steals from this Walmart now has to wash cars for free. Free car washes in the very same Walmart parking lot.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I think that that is sensible. Yeah, I think shoplifting is again, what we said before, it's a systemic crime. Most of the time it is because people are hungry and broke. Except when it's like they're stealing out of the Louis Vuitton store or whatever, that's something else.

[Ed Larson]

But yeah, even that.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I don't give a fucking shit.

[Ed Larson]

I care less about that.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Who could give a fucking shit? It's overpriced bags and shit. Who fucking cares?

[Ed Larson]

Well, Walmart's become such a crazy place that I don't know if we talked about this on the show recently, but it was like a story presented to us. But the employees at Walmart, they've started testing this out are going to be, are going to start wearing body cams because they get beat up so much by the, by the clientele was because.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Also people go there as a designated third space. Like people go there to go hang out.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Connect, do things that don't, quote, unquote, cost money. Even though it's a private corporation, it's a store. And so what happens is that it does invite people that have nowhere else to go.

[Ed Larson]

Especially when you're open 24 hours. Yes.

[Henry Zabrowski]

So they have to. So these people that work at Walmart end up being like police officers slash mental health associates.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

And selling you panties.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

And so I wish they'd sell me pants. Pennies. I was cut off.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Three different stores.

[Ed Larson]

I never trust the store that sells jeans and lobster. You know, like, it's just like, come on, pick. Pick a play.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Except for Costco. Costco's pure.

[Ed Larson]

I mean, apparently people still like Costco. I got no reason to be there.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Costco is pure. Costco is good.

[Ed Larson]

Do you go to Costco?

[Henry Zabrowski]

I. I go sometimes because Jackie's got a membership.

[Ed Larson]

Oh, okay.

[Henry Zabrowski]

So I'll piggyback with her and I'll go. But largely I don't because just me.

[Ed Larson]

And Julie, I don't need.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Well, there's certain costs.

[Ed Larson]

Go.

[Henry Zabrowski]

You know what's nice? It's paper towels.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. But I go to. Who gives a crap? I get the natural bamboo towels. So I'm not contributing to them cutting down the rainforest.

[Henry Zabrowski]

See, I hate the rainforest.

[Ed Larson]

Oh, well then, then you should get bounty.

[Henry Zabrowski]

That's a part of what I've been doing is that I put a bounty on the rainforest. Normally, bounty, Normally what I do is I buy two things of bounty just to throw one out and then I go outside and I chop a tree down. Just because I hate them, but because I'm jealous. They don't gotta work.

[Ed Larson]

Well, Walmart's on board. They're providing water and supplies.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Thank you, Walmart. Oh, thank you, precious. Walmart. Thank you for your gifts.

[Ed Larson]

But it's such a better thing than locking up people and ruining their lives. And you know, it's so. It's one of those things. I'm really happy that this is, I think, feel like this is one of our first like, like positive news stories on this show.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Sorta. I wonder what the. I wonder what the Diamond Lounge is gonna be like at the Amex private prisons. Do you think that it's gonna be. Do you think that if I get to Diamond.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

That I'll be able to be like, I get extra wreck time.

[Ed Larson]

It's gonna be one of those sushi.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like in the Delta one. Yeah. Someone comes in here, someone offers us for. You're forced to eat the fresh sushi from the guy that they flew in from Japan who looks confused, abused.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. Oh, so Clothier said he thinks it'll be humiliating to be out there washing cars if you see someone, you know, and he thinks that'll be enough to keep people from stealing from the Walmart.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I think that it's also just it something about putting, not, not putting people in jail. Because what do we know on low level crimes. This is just across the board.

[Ed Larson]

They just get, they commit more crimes. Yeah, always you get into a fight in jail and you're, you're stuck in there for lord knows how long after that.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yes.

[Ed Larson]

And like you don't have a choice to get into the fight. You know, someone just comes up and beats you up. I guess yourself.

[Henry Zabrowski]

And guess what happens if you don't.

[Ed Larson]

Then you get beat up more. Yes. So it's a, it's a damned if you do. Damn if you don't keep people out of jail in any way possible. So. Thank you Judge Clothier. I hope I'm saying your name right.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I mean God knows what else this guy's going to do. But he made one good decision. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Ed Larson]

The judge said that he's also going to go out there and wash cars with them.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Now when does it turn into a sexual assault thing? When does it eventually become he shows up in a speed. When does he show his penis at a bunch of men?

[Ed Larson]

I think back to like those fundraising car washes we used to do in high school with all like the teachers, 15 year old, 15 year old cheerleaders and stuff like in bikinis washing the cars outside of the Einstein Bagels. I look back and I'm like we should not have been allowed to do that.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Eddie, you and I were raised in a very specific time period where it seemed to be a little bit more open.

[Ed Larson]

Yes.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Do you remember American Beauty?

[Ed Larson]

Yes, I do remember American Beauty.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Do you remember how inspirational American Beauty was? The idea of this man finally finding his joy again because it was all about him having sex with the 17 year old.

[Ed Larson]

Well that and weed. You're right, it was that.

[Henry Zabrowski]

And that's sadly was the shout out to Guy Pierce. Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

Dealing with Kevin Spacey's.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah. Getting his ding dong man. Almost baseman. Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

Almost got pierced by the space God.

[Henry Zabrowski]

You gotta be careful out there. Gotta keep your head swiveled. You gotta keep your head in swivel in Hollywood and you gotta let these guys know it is an exit hole. Unless of course it is an entrance hole. And then you give them the green light. But you gotta give them the green light. That's the only way to do it. Yeah, yeah. Kevin Spacey's in. He's in a lot of. He's really sad. He's in a lot of debt.

[Ed Larson]

Oh yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Poor guy couldn't happen to a nicer.

[Ed Larson]

Guy from your grave. Hello Florida. Your favorite son and biggest baby are coming home to bring you the laughs you deserve. Everyone likes to poke fun of the Florida man. Everyone likes to use Florida as a punching bag whenever an alligator on meth eats an old person. It could happen anywhere. As a famous Floridian baby, I feel your pain. So that's why I'm coming home to let you know it's okay to be who you are. It's okay that the rest of America is scared of us. It's okay that books are illegal in our schools. It's okay whenever it gets cold that rains. Iguanas, I'm here to support you, so come on out. March I'll be in North Florida and in May I'll be in South Florida and Orlando. It's the Invasive Species Tour. Ed Larson me is coming to Florida in March and May. I'm coming to Jacksonville, Panama City, Tallahassee, Marco Island Island, Dania Beach, Orlando and Key West. So lock up your public subs and start singing the Miami Dolphins fight song because we're gonna party like it's Florida, baby. [e-mail].

[T-Mobile Representative]

If you love your phone but not your carrier, just switch to T Mobile. You can keep your phone, keep your number and we'll help pay it off up to 800 per line. You can also use our savings calculator to compare our plans and streaming benefits against Verizon and AT&T. So switch and keep your phone, keep your number and keep more of your moolah. @t mobile.com up to 4 lines via virtual prepaid card.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Allow 15 days qualifying unlock device credit service ported 90 plus days with device and eligible carrier and timely redemptor required Card has no cash access and expires in six months.

[Multicare Representative]

Our state has changed a lot in the last 140 years. We know because Multicare has been here guided by a single making our communities healthier. That comes from making courageous decisions, partnering with local communities to grow programs and services, and expanding healthcare access to those who need it most. Together, we're building a healthier future. Learn more@ multicare.org.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Morning Decisions A creamy mocha Frappuccino drink, a sweet vanilla, maybe a smooth caramel or that white chocolate mocha. Whichever you choose, delicious coffee awaits. Start your day with bottled Starbucks Frappuccino drinks. Pick up a bottle near you wherever you buy your groceries. Speaking of great news. Asteroid headed towards Earth. Yes, it is currently up to 3.1%. Let's blow it up it has increased three times since its discovery. It is went from 1% to 2% to 3% possible hitting us. And what is interesting, which I found really interesting about this story, is the fact that number one, they can already tell where it might land if it does hit. Really, it's awesome.

[Ed Larson]

They basically have 3% chance of landing and they're like, Illinois is fucked. Well, basically it makes sense.

[Henry Zabrowski]

The way it works is that it'll come on a lap, right. It'll come on some line. Right. So it's about where like imagine these. So the earth's a gold. I guess I think that. Wait, obviously I'm wrong. Side stories lpotl gmail.com but the way it seems to work is they could sort of know what plane it's on, but they don't know how far it's going to arc towards us. But they can know that it's going to go in this one area of where we're at. So if it hits us, it would. If they're saying it's going to hit us somewhere in the equator somewhere. Somewhere in the Indian Ocean, which is interesting. Oh, I also don't know if they're just lying to us to just make us feel the mill.

[Ed Larson]

Well, yeah, I mean, what, it's a, it's a 3 in 4 chance that it hits the ocean.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yes. And it's a city killer, but it's not a world ender. They're saying that it would be the equivalent of something like 50 megatons, 50 times the first atomic bomb. Okay, but if it's in the middle of the ocean, we won't experience it.

[Ed Larson]

But like Indonesia would be fucked.

[Henry Zabrowski]

In Australia there might be some, there might be some tsunamis. Yeah, tsunami activity, Earthquake activity. Yeah, but, and, but what I'd like to know. This is like one of those fun debate points for our audience side stories. LPOTL gmail.com is that the address? Actually, sometimes I forget. You know when you do something again and again and again, you ever like go to hang out with somebody that you've known for like multiple decades and then you like Jerry, right?

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

And you momentarily forget their name as you're going to fucking introduce them. That's like an, that's a gut anxiety, greedy thing that happens to me sometimes. But I'd like to know, would you like to know the day that you die? Like, would you like to know like the date that if it's gonna hit and let's say it was gonna end the world?

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Do you want to know the date or would you rather be suppressed?

[Ed Larson]

I think I'd rather know the day the world's gonna end than the day I have a heart attack.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Like you'd rather.

[Ed Larson]

That makes any sense.

[Henry Zabrowski]

So you'd rather us all die?

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, well, not rather everyone die. I'm saying if I were to know the future, I'd rather it be a day that we're all going to die together rather than like you're going to have a heart attack on August 8, 2085.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Because the thing about science, too, is that they're right and they're, they're, they're, they are. They do their best to be correct and they're constantly changing. That's the idea.

[Ed Larson]

It's 2% last week and now it's 3%. They're like the Indian Ocean. And next week it's going to be like, oh, it's going to hit Africa. It's going to be like New York.

[Henry Zabrowski]

It's going to slide in the. That guy's. When is. Or what.

[Ed Larson]

When. When will this come?

[Henry Zabrowski]

I think it's nine years.

[Ed Larson]

Nine years. Pretty close.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Nine years, yeah. 20, 32. Seven years and so. But there. I wonder, because remember they had those. There's like an AI now that can apparently tabulate the day that you will die.

[Ed Larson]

Oh, really?

[Henry Zabrowski]

Using a bunch of, like, you can give it a bunch of things, you can give it a bunch of parameters and it'll give you like a day that you'll die. But just like that. And just like that. Like this. They could be entirely wrong. I guess the only thing I'm afraid of is the thing of you find out the death day and then you do the thing where you're like, honey, I'm starting to learn the oboe and I can't do it with you here. I need full attention on the oboe, you know, I mean, like, this is when you're going to end up try. You're going to ruin your family. You can do. And then what happens if. Then the comet doesn't come?

[Ed Larson]

Well, you know what drives me crazy is also if we know when the world's going to end. I think I'm talking myself out of wanting to know right now, but, like, if we know who's going to show up to work and then, you know, like, there's no power for the last three days because going to the fucking. To the ladwp.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I mean, like, and this is going to sound really unpopular to a lot of people, but I think. And this is just between me and Eddie here for a second, that's what we don't tell some of these people.

[Ed Larson]

Yes.

[Henry Zabrowski]

So what we do is we don't know. Rob, you didn't hear that. We don't tell some of the people.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. Rob, we have a. We have a strict schedule. Schedule.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Continue to come out. We don't tell certain sectors. Right. Just simply for the fact that we are going to. All the rest of us are going to want to be able to watch tv.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. Because when I saw Deep Impact, the. One of the things that bothered me the most about that movie. I know it's not real, but one of the things that bothered me the most about that movie was that it was the day before the asteroids about to hit. Hit. And the guy calls a cab.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah. And he just picks him up. Yeah. He's like, I'm just getting off of work, you know, being like, dude, we're all going to die soon. Yeah. And he's just like, I. You will not make me go uptown.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, but if the asteroid does come, I. I know one thing. I. I don't want to miss a thing. I want to make sure I see it.

[Henry Zabrowski]

My. What I'm really afraid of is that. And we talked about this right before, by the way, because you remind me. Reminded me of something. Eddie. Let's just not tell Bruce Willis.

[Ed Larson]

Oh my God. How lost will he get trying to find the.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I'm afraid if we tell Bruce Willis, he's gonna blow up the moon instead.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, I got it. I see it every night.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Demi Moore comes in and she's like, let's just get him a drill and we'll put him on a sound stage. Listen, we'll just. Let's just get him. Let's think he's doing it. He really let someone get him his harmonica. Can someone get Bruce's harmonica? He thinks he's on stage again. He's ready to go. No. Yes. Bruce. Let's leave Bruce out of this.

[Ed Larson]

Leave him alone.

[Henry Zabrowski]

But you know who we're sending?

[Ed Larson]

Ben Affleck. You said definitely send an Affleck.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I want him on the tip of the shuttle. Yeah, we're sending you Ben Affleck and.

[Ed Larson]

A bunch of donkey.

[Henry Zabrowski]

And you know why we're doing it? Because of the way you treated JLo.

[Ed Larson]

Oh, come on.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I'm coming after you.

[Ed Larson]

Sign up. You broke her off. You broke her heart.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I first I defended you and now I. I can't believe I came to bad for you.

[Ed Larson]

I think that JLO was ready to.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Love you and you the bed. And then. How dare you go Back to that straw woman, Jennifer Gardner.

[Ed Larson]

She seems nice.

[Henry Zabrowski]

She does. You have children together? Yeah. I mean, a lot of people do.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. Yeah. And all this diddy heat with JLo. Like, imagine, like, imagine that he's just sitting at home. He's like, hold on.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Who?

[Ed Larson]

What did you do?

[Henry Zabrowski]

Gotta go. What, this all happened during the Juicy Couture days? No, I gotta get out of here. Well, yeah. That's so. Just so you know, I. I wonder. I want people to tell me what you think. I think there's a lot of people that have to.

[Ed Larson]

I.

[Henry Zabrowski]

It'd be kind of cool in a way if there was like, this is the thing, is that the government wouldn't do it if they just gave everybody free power and did the thing at the time period for like five days. You know, we're like, all right, we're just running the systems.

[Ed Larson]

Do you think they would empty the prisons or just lock the doors?

[Henry Zabrowski]

Lock the doors? Yeah. Gas them, probably. They'll kill everybody in there.

[Ed Larson]

You think so?

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah, they're going to do a lot. That's the thing.

[Ed Larson]

The guards aren't going to show up.

[Henry Zabrowski]

For work in the end days. There's going to be a lot of bad stuff happening.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. Because there's going to be no consequences.

[Henry Zabrowski]

And that's also why. Yeah. And it's also why people are doing bad things currently, because they think that what you do is that you spark the bad things to make the end times come.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

And we have a current. The next series that we're doing is all about that. The idea of if the. If the world won't end, what if we start the signs of the world ending on our own?

[Ed Larson]

I mean, we've all talked about this before. The world is not gonna end. We might end, but the world's gonna be here.

[Henry Zabrowski]

This rock's gonna keep on spinning.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, man.

[Henry Zabrowski]

And no memory. And you know what they said that you. What I'll do is interesting. You only need. I believe they said it's 150 people to re. Spark humankind. Sure. So let's get to choosing now.

[Ed Larson]

What are you talking about? It was just two. And Henry. Adam and Eve.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Adam and Steve.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, baby. Oh, yes. Yes. That's. Oh, let me see you Apple, Adam.

[Henry Zabrowski]

See, this is a perfect time for this.

[Ed Larson]

See it.

[Henry Zabrowski]

This is a perfect time for the segment. So this is perfect time. Let's get to man corner. Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Now, last week we had two on the show. All right, we two dirty on the show.

[Ed Larson]

Who's the. Now available on the last Podcast. Podcast Network.

[Henry Zabrowski]

They're the best. They're absolutely hilarious. Kara Clank and my sister Jackie Zabrowski, they're on our new show. Who's the.

[Ed Larson]

What's your sister's name?

[Henry Zabrowski]

It's a bitchy for McDumper.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Got your ass. But what's fun here is that normally we get to talk abstractedly about women's bodies away from you.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

And we get to make a bunch of funny things. Fake thoughts about it because we don't understand a lot about your biology. And it's not really anybody's fault but ours.

[Ed Larson]

It's just more fun to be wrong than right.

[Henry Zabrowski]

It's just fun to be. It's fun to say things that make people upset. It's fun. That's our jobs.

[Ed Larson]

Right? Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

But then we had two women on that, then went ahead to make a bunch of. Say a bunch of stuff that made a bunch of ladies angry instead of scientists. But they're not scientists. No. No. They're just women like the rest of you. Right. But also we have to say.

[Ed Larson]

I don't know what's happening to my own personal body either.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Couldn't care less.

[Ed Larson]

I don't know what's going on. The man's eye.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I don't care what's going on here.

[Ed Larson]

I.

[Henry Zabrowski]

But I will say this. We're gonna say here at lpn, don't drink while pregnant.

[Ed Larson]

No.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Even though Kara and Jackie both, I believe, advised it. But don't drink while pregnant because more many doctors wrote in and said don't.

[Ed Larson]

Yes. Even a little bit.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Apparently not. We don't know. But this is what doctors said. So this is this House has met men getting an opportunity to tell two women that they were wrong.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. Yes.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

That's what I'm talking about.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah. And this is the wildest Factoid I got. 1 in 25, 000 women. This is true.

[Ed Larson]

Oh, yeah. Very true.

[Henry Zabrowski]

They can get pregnant in their ass. Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

You can get duty pregnant.

[Henry Zabrowski]

You can get dookie. Dookie faux shooty. 40 pregnant.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

1.

[Ed Larson]

Did you know that 25,000 women, they.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Have a close boaca.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. They got bird bodies.

[Henry Zabrowski]

So if some. Some women are born without. This is completely real. Rob. This was sent to us. He's. The look on your face shows you're like, you can't wait for the. The anticipatory emails that we're gonna get. But I'm gonna read this right now.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

It is absolutely possible to get pregnant from anal sex. I know this because it happened to a Roommate of mine. We've all heard this story. Is it a Baptist university in Oklahoma? Early 2000s. My roommate was raised mostly out of the United States as one of many children in a missionary family. That religious community believed strongly in abstaining from sex until marriage. But she and her new boyfriend thought they found a loophole. Everybody does, Right? When she started dating in our sophomore year, she came waddling in one day to our dorm and said she needed to talk. She then told me that they didn't want to sin by having vaginal intercourse, so they thought they would be safe if they had anal sex instead. You're correct. You're correct. Maybe not from. Not from STDs or anything else, but you're correct. You were not supposed that way. You were.

[Ed Larson]

You.

[Henry Zabrowski]

That was the right idea.

[Ed Larson]

Condom.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yes. Oh, yes. It's more like nature's collection basket as he goes right out. Right. So she had mixed feelings about her first sexual encounter, but ultimately enjoyed it. Decided it was okay to continue to have exclusively anal sex. Now that's a trooper. Now, about a month and a half later, she started panicking because she hadn't had her period on time. She started taking pregnancy tests and they came back positive. Naturally, she was freaked out. Later recalling that I was really wet and excited her first time when he pulled out, he said he made a runny mess. All sperm need is to swim is a slick surface. And they will keep swimming for up to five days. Days. But also, apparently it could slide down there. But also you could be born without the holes. Like, without the walls. And so the. The. The com can come through your butt walls into your cavern.

[Ed Larson]

It's only one way, though. It only can go one way.

[Henry Zabrowski]

No, I don't.

[Ed Larson]

You're. You used to be a plumber.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I don't know anything about this. Well, I have no idea.

[Ed Larson]

According to Women's Health doctors, we asked.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Two women on the show last week and they didn't know. And now we're left here sitting in the runny mess.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Of their thoughts.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. We're mansplaining. You can get pregnant through your eyes.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Women did this to us, though. Women put us. Two women we know put us as men into this scenario, having to roll back misinformation.

[Ed Larson]

So it's a. Women's Health magazine calls it a colloqual malformation.

[Henry Zabrowski]

It's cloacal.

[Ed Larson]

Cocal.

[Henry Zabrowski]

It's a cloaca.

[Ed Larson]

Cloaca. A cloacal.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Cloaca.

[Ed Larson]

A cloacal. Whatever. They're up booty holes.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

Which Means she was born, but she didn't have a uretha, vagina and anus. She just had one hole.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Wow. One big room.

[Ed Larson]

Yes.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Cloacal malformation.

[Ed Larson]

It's a. Birds have it. Them. Yes.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Is when the rectum, vagina, urinary tract. They don't separate, they collaborate.

[Ed Larson]

Yes. The condition is incredibly rare, occurring in about 1 in 25,000 female live births, which is more than I would have thought. Yes. 25,000. 1 in 25,000 isn't really that. I mean, you have. The lottery is way bigger.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Absolutely. And also, what an amazing, amazing opportunity to call somebody a buddy baby.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. It also only occurs in women, so this couldn't. We couldn't have just one hole.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Oh, yeah. Because then the come can go through our assholes back into our balls.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, right.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Like you can't fuck me hard enough in the ass that your calm will shoot into my balls.

[Ed Larson]

I think. I think that is what women's health is saying. But it's usually diagnosed at birth and repaired right away. Away. So the baby has a separate urethra. Let me get in there.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Let me get my wrench.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But that's what happened in this woman's case. However, something went very wrong. Either in the surgery was botched or its response to the trauma of the surgery. A body can be formed. A fistula. An abnormal connection between organs.

[Henry Zabrowski]

The fistula.

[Ed Larson]

A fistula. Thank you. I'm bad with pronunciation.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yes, fistula is my burlesque name.

[Ed Larson]

A uterus can become fused to a rectum in these situations. So every month when Aunt Flo comes to town, they. They have their period rectally. So meanwhile, you know, this is the news. This is the news.

[Henry Zabrowski]

You asked me, you asked us.

[Ed Larson]

We don't want to talk about this.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I think that we have to stop now because I think that that's as far as we. We know. I think that we're stupid. I think that when we brought women in here expecting them to be smarter, we found out that's not true. And I think that that's one of the nicest things that we could have done for men in terms of listening to this. We're trying to create a safe space for guys out here to listen to us talk. Right? A safe space for you guys, you boys. Right?

[Ed Larson]

Oh, man.

[Henry Zabrowski]

That was man corner. We're over.

[Ed Larson]

Yes, yes, yes. Oh, oh, and there was one email we got got about booty shorts.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Well, you want to read this? Because we. Again, this is a response to last week Jackie was saying she wanted to either get butt implants or a one of the Brazilian butt lifts or she wanted a. She was talking about padded pants and we had an argument kind of talking about is it what how much damage does that lie do?

[Ed Larson]

Yes.

[Henry Zabrowski]

To our sexual encounters. And I actually don't know because this lady actually makes an interesting point.

[Ed Larson]

Yes. So says. Hey guys, I was listening to your episode with the girls. Who's the And I thought it was interesting that Jackie's suggestion spelled wrong, by the way.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I actually think it's a more fun spelling.

[Ed Larson]

It is. And she should drop the e. Yeah. Suggestion of being tricked or fooled by fake butts and boobs because that's something I saw a lot on Reddit from the old incel board.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Oh, whatever. That's not what we meant.

[Ed Larson]

I mean, I think so basically a lot of incels complain that women change their appearance to fool men into sleeping with them. So they're against stuff like butt pads and makeup.

[Henry Zabrowski]

They're just.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah. Because they're losers. That's the difference. I'm just saying.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I'm just saying it be. I wanted. I want that big old butt.

[Ed Larson]

Yes.

[Henry Zabrowski]

To play with.

[Ed Larson]

Yes. For sure. But I think, I think. What? What?

[Henry Zabrowski]

What? I'm a red blooded man. That would just. I. I would listen to the butt. I'd listen to the butt's thoughts and the bus, the butt's opinions and all the butt's dreams.

[Ed Larson]

Yes.

[Henry Zabrowski]

And I'd spend time with the butt and treat the butt well and create a safe environment for the butt.

[Ed Larson]

So they said. Who personally loves looking like a slutty milf? I just wanted to share that most of the women who I know who wear strong makeup and pads and stuff like that aren't doing it to attract men into sleeping with us. I'm married, so when I do, when I go out with my husband, I just like looking like a hot slut. I'm Latina, so I don't wear butt pads, but I absolutely wear padded bras because who cares? The people who see me aren't going to see me naked, so why should I care if they feel deceived?

[Henry Zabrowski]

I think you're entirely corre talking about the men just feeling receipt deceived. Though I think that you're right. You're dressing for other women and you're dressing for yourself. Yeah, but I'm not. I'm just more. I'm not talking about the anger over the deception. It's more just someone. A big old butt.

[Ed Larson]

Yes.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I want a big old floppy butt. I can have fun with me around.

[Ed Larson]

But usually, you know, you know I love you, so I don't care what you say. But usually when men have like, those type of opinions, like, you can't wear this. It's a control thing.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Oh, of course I know what you're saying. I would never say you can't wear the thing.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

We're just having feelings about the thing.

[Ed Larson]

Yes. Yeah. But it's also like, you never see an attractive man complain about this. No, it's always like, ugly dudes who can't get laid anyway. They're almost looking for reasons to say, like, oh, I don't want to date that person because she's ugly when she's obviously gorgeous.

[Henry Zabrowski]

We are talking about this enormous, like a friendly idea banter back and forth, not actual rage. Men who experiences actual rage, which is real.

[Ed Larson]

Yes.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Are extremely dangerous and bad for it and are mostly unique, unfuckable.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. That is the problem.

[Henry Zabrowski]

And that's the thing. A lot of these trad guys are going to get a really hard awakening when they wake up and realize that just because you want a trad wife doesn't mean a trad wife wants you. Because it's a lot of work being a trad wife. You got to live every day thinking about your husband, wondering what my husband wants, wondering if he's going to get his raw milk today. And you have to love turn in that raw milk for your butter every morning for your husband. You're going to make that fresh ass, fresh butter each morning. And then you're going to. To laugh as you put arsenic in that butter. And then you're going to serve it to him on a big pile, a big thing of toast. You're going to watch him as he grips his belly and he falls over screaming in pain going, what happened? What happened? What happened? And you're going to smile and you.

[Ed Larson]

Know, and his last words are going to be, I can't believe it wasn't butter.

[Henry Zabrowski]

And it writes itself. And it writes itself. And then you get to go be a lesbian.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Like he always wanted.

[Ed Larson]

There was. I did get. A lot of people have been messaging me about the. My, my, my young vet. Ha.

[Henry Zabrowski]

First of all, I would like you to.

[Ed Larson]

Things I say are everything I say on this show, unless I take a moment to. Anything I say in this voice is a joke.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yes, he is. But we did receive many emails from young veterinarians saying that apparently, like suicides a big old thing within the veterinary community. They all feel like, unloved. They got to Deal with a lot of psychopaths that you have unreasonable demands, which I totally understand.

[Ed Larson]

Oh my God. The way people look at their dogs and treat these vets. My father, for full disclosure, my father in law is a. Owns his own family practice.

[Henry Zabrowski]

This is where, this is where the feelings come from.

[Ed Larson]

Yes. He owns his own. He owns his own practice. So I understand the family practice. Lots of people hit me up like, ed, you need to find a family practice. I know all about it. It is the right move. I basically where my thought comes from. I love a more experienced person, you know, and like. And so you young vet, you become an old vet. And I think that during that process you become better at it. I think we became better comedians over the years. I think that you know stuff like that. I think you will see more things that come. I think that now the vet community is in a lot of trouble. We got companies like Chewy buying out full practices from people. And then like, also like, vets used to prescribe the medicine. Now people buy it for like, like for a quarter of the price from Chewy's. And so the vets are losing money that way.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yes. And no one wants my vet now integrated it into their, like their. Yeah, yeah.

[Ed Larson]

No, it's like a five dollar charge now if you want us to fill it. Because they're, because they're just filling out all the paperwork and doing more work for free.

[Henry Zabrowski]

But also I'm, I do understand that it costs a premium and I do understand that pets cannot tell you their feelings. They can't tell you what hurts and what goes on. It's extremely difficult for them to figure it out. They got to look at it and. But they're also. It's. You are looking at puppies assholes all day.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, no, it's. It's a hard job being a vet. I love every vet in the world. You gave yourself to take care of animals. It just, I, I thought it was obvious that vets are good people because they donated their lives to helping animals.

[Henry Zabrowski]

This is so now. But thank you.

[Ed Larson]

Fun of somebody who has done such a nice thing is comical to me.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yes.

[Ed Larson]

You know, like.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yes, of course. Coming at a veterinarians for Eddie is coming at a group of people that you would think no one's attacking. So it's funny. Fun of firemen.

[Ed Larson]

You know, it's just funny.

[Henry Zabrowski]

It is funny to attack a vulnerable thing. You have to understand that guys is that when you're, when you're vulnerable, it's so fun to attack you. No, we are really trying not to punch. We think you could take it because of your doctors and it's difficult. But thank you for your service and we are listening. And that is our, what I'd call our half rollback.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. Well, also I do want to say another thing about the whole thing.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Okay, Please.

[Ed Larson]

These corporations are buying up these fucking vet offices and they're buying it from the people who own family practices. And then they're hiring part time vets to come in who are trained less who these people work like two days a week and they don't, they don't care as much as a normal everyday vet and they're giving bad information. And so I think that they're is you need to go to a family owned vet. Do not go to one of these corporate places. I think it's very important.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I agree.

[Ed Larson]

Will care more about your dog. They will take care of you and anyone in the people who are coming at me telling me that my dog should be dead. You are very rude. And I have a family owned vet that I literally take pictures of shits and text him and he's like, that's fine, don't worry about it. So they like, don't worry.

[Henry Zabrowski]

They're very well taken care of.

[Ed Larson]

Dogs are so well taken care of. They were extremely aggravating. It was.

[Henry Zabrowski]

And I'm telling you this right now, as, as his co host and as a person, as his best friend. I'd call the police on him.

[Ed Larson]

Yes.

[Henry Zabrowski]

If I had to. If I really felt that your dogs were like fucked, I'd say something.

[Ed Larson]

Yes.

[Henry Zabrowski]

They're just very old.

[Ed Larson]

They're very old.

[Henry Zabrowski]

They got but Rambo to live. And Rambo is, is, is cognizant. He's wet tails wagon.

[Ed Larson]

Every time I see a vet, I'm like, you will tell me when I have to put this dog. Every time they're like, it's looking all right for now. And so like Tootsie just had a rough week and we got her in blood work. The vet was like, I don't know, she doesn't look too good. Then we got the blood work and he's like, she's fine. And then I sent the blood work to someone else. Like, yeah, she's fine. She's just like picky when she eats now.

[Henry Zabrowski]

You know who that reminds me of?

[Ed Larson]

What?

[Henry Zabrowski]

Bill Cosby.

[Ed Larson]

God, why is he fine?

[Henry Zabrowski]

Still alive.

[Ed Larson]

Just he's like, why is he perfectly fine?

[Henry Zabrowski]

Him and Tootsie blind, old, not loop.

[Ed Larson]

Tootsie with Bill Cosby still walking around.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Rejected his advances People refuse to put him to sleep. Oh, Bill Cosby. Oh, is. Oh, his tour's coming up. Great. Oh, can we get tickets for that? There's a lot. It seemed to be a lot of available. He's got a comeback. Working on Good for him.

[Ed Larson]

Wow.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Anybody can come back. Wow. All right.

[Ed Larson]

Oh, no foreclosure on his home.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah. You know, yeah. Maybe the money dried up. Well, guys, what an episode of Side stories. Go to patreon.com Last podcast on the left to give us money to watch us talk. And then we got a lot of bullshit on there, obviously a lot of shit. And you can go see when you give money. You can see our live stream live. You can join the chat. You can yell at us and scream at us. That is on Tuesdays at 6pm PST. And then you can go to Last podcast left to buy tickets for our live show. We have so many coming up and they're going to be wonderful.

[Ed Larson]

Yes. We're going to be in Dallas on Saturday, so come check us out at the CU Theater in Grand Prairie, Texas. That is. That is right. Of Dallas. But if you know what Dallas is, you know what Grand Prairie is, obviously. But we also have a lot of side story shows coming up.

[Henry Zabrowski]

We do.

[Ed Larson]

On March 16, we're going to be in Huntsville, Alabama. Come check us out there. That's going to be a lot of sun. That's at the VBC Center.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Honestly, if you're out there, that's going to be one of those. That would be so like that. I've never been a Huntsville. I have no idea what the in Huntsville. Please come out, send us some recommendations and like, we're. We're gonna have a blast.

[Ed Larson]

So come.

[Henry Zabrowski]

We do a lot of crowd work. We have a lot of fun when we do the show.

[Ed Larson]

It's gonna be a blast. And then also on May 7, we're gonna be in Dana beach at the Dania Beach Improv, which is Fort Lauderdale. So make sure you get your tickets to that. That's going to be May 7, and then May 8, we're going to be at the Funny Bone in Orlando.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah, we are, baby.

[Ed Larson]

We're doing some real comedy clubs. Henry, we're gonna have fun, man.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

Very excited.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I can't wait for this. So come and join us and if you heckle, we'll beat the out of you. Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

No, because it. We jump out in the stage. And then of course, there's always Crime Wave, which is going to be in November. Get your tickets, come to Crime Wave. Lots of People got tickets already. It's going to be. We're going to have a lot of. It's going to be a official last podcast, like meetup on this, bro. You're going to meet some new friends.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I mean it, guys, the people I like. You come out if you can afford to come out to this thing because it is going to be hilarious.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

We're going to have so much fun and is. And someone's gonna die. You gotta come see this.

[Ed Larson]

No, they have a morgue on the ship.

[Henry Zabrowski]

They got.

[Ed Larson]

They told us they have a morgue on the ship.

[Henry Zabrowski]

They said that we could go do one of the cruise autopsies. Yeah, yeah, yeah, they said that we could go in there. They do them. Yeah, they have an autopsy tech on there. So we go in there and they said that we can go do it and we can shoot. We can shoot the. What is it? The stuff that you could see blood with. With the. Oh, that stuff. Yeah. I don't know, what's it called again? The.

[Ed Larson]

Oh, did you shoot the wit? I don't know what you been talking about, Bloods. I don't know. But the show was ending and you brought it to a screeching halt.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yep. Well, let's just stop this. Yeah, because it's over.

[Ed Larson]

All right?

[Henry Zabrowski]

And it doesn't matter. Luminal. Luminol.

[Ed Larson]

Yes. You young vets, they're all stealing all the luminol. Did you know that? The young vets, they're all.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Hold.

[Ed Larson]

They're all hoarding it. Yeah, I got you, you fucks. You thought I was being nice. I'm back, baby.

[Henry Zabrowski]

You're coming in. Alright? We gotta end this.

[Ed Larson]

Get older.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Let's end this.

[Ed Larson]

Let's end this fucking check.

[Multicare Representative]

For 140 years, MultiCare has been in Washington prioritizing long term solutions, partnering with local communities and expanding access to care. Together, we're building a healthier future future. Learn more@ multicare.org Morning decisions.

[Henry Zabrowski]

A creamy mocha Frappuccino drink. A sweet vanilla, maybe a smooth caramel or that white chocolate mocha. Whichever you choose, delicious coffee awaits. Start your day with bottled Starbucks Frappuccino drinks. Pick up a bottle near you wherever you buy your groceries.