Side Stories: The Burbank Butt-Sniffer

Summary

Last Podcast on the Left Episode: Side Stories: The Burbank Butt-Sniffer Release Date: July 31, 2025

---

Introduction

In this intriguing episode of Last Podcast on the Left, hosts Henry Zebrowski and Marcus Parks delve into a bizarre and unsettling case titled "The Burbank Butt-Sniffer." This side story explores the arrest and peculiar behaviors of Khalees Karan Crowder, whose unusual criminal activities have left the community of Burbank bewildered.

The Arrest of the Burbank Butt-Sniffer

Background of the Culprit

At [13:18], Henry introduces the central figure of the episode:

"The Burbank butt sniffer has been arrested."

Crowder, aged 38, became notorious in Burbank for his unsettling habit of smelling women's buttocks in public places. This behavior not only violated personal boundaries but also instilled fear and discomfort among the community members.

Modus Operandi

Describing Crowder's methods, Henry elaborates:

[14:19] "He has two trombones. That is the largest, whitest ears I have ever seen on a person."

These exaggerated descriptions highlight Crowder's conspicuous physical features, which paradoxically may have helped him avoid detection for an extended period. His technique involved crouching inconspicuously in places like Nordstrom Rack and bookstores, making his actions both invasive and creepy.

The Arrest and Charges

Henry further explains the circumstances leading to Crowder's capture:

[17:05] "He was arrested for this because now we have some footage of him smelling butts."

Crowder was charged with loitering with intent to commit a crime, a charge stemming from his persistent harassment and violation of personal space. The hosts debate the adequacy of these charges, considering the unconventional nature of the offense:

[17:36] "Call it sexual harassment at least."

Legal and Social Implications

Challenges in Prosecution

Henry and Marcus discuss the complexities of legally addressing Crowder's actions. Given the lack of physical contact, prosecuting him under traditional sexual assault laws proves challenging. They ponder whether existing laws sufficiently cover such invasive behaviors or if new legislation is needed to address similar future cases.

Community Reaction

The community's response to Crowder's arrest has been mixed. While many are relieved, others express skepticism about the charges' severity and the likelihood of preventing potential escalation:

[24:02] "This man's sniffing butts as a hobby. I don't think he's got it."

Humor and Host Banter

Throughout the episode, Henry and Marcus infuse dark humor into their discussion, making light of the grim topic without diminishing its seriousness. Their playful suggestions for Crowder's punishment add a layer of levity:

[22:01] Marcus Parks: "I would love to just make this guy smell my farts."

Notable Quotes

• Henry Zebrowski [13:18]: "The Burbank butt sniffer has been arrested."
• Henry Zebrowski [17:36]: "Call it sexual harassment at least."
• Marcus Parks [22:01]: "I would love to just make this guy smell my farts."

Conclusion

In "Side Stories: The Burbank Butt-Sniffer," Last Podcast on the Left presents a unique and disturbing case that challenges both legal frameworks and societal norms. Henry Zebrowski and Marcus Parks navigate the unsettling details with a blend of seriousness and humor, offering listeners a thought-provoking exploration of personal boundaries, legal limitations, and community safety.

This episode not only sheds light on an unusual criminal case but also prompts listeners to consider the broader implications of such behaviors and the effectiveness of current laws in addressing them.

---

Note: The timestamps provided correspond to specific segments within the podcast transcript, enhancing the summary's accuracy and allowing listeners to reference key moments easily.

Transcript

[Laci Mosley]

What's poppin listeners? I'm Lacey Mosley, host of the podcast Scam Goddess. The show that's an ode to fraud and all those who practice it. Each week I talk with very special guests about the scammiest scammers of all time. Wanna know about the fake errors? We got em? What about a career con man? We've got them too. Guys that will wine and dine you and then steal all your coins. Oh, you know they are represented cause representation matters. I'm joined by guests like Nicole Byer, Ira Madison iii, Conan o' and more. Join the congregation and listen to Scam Goddess wherever you get your podcasts.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Planning a trip this year? Travel smarter and connect deeper by learning the local language with Rosetta stone. With over 30 years of experience, Rosetta Stone's immersive, intuitive method helps you live the language, not just memorize it. Choose from over 25 languages, including Spanish, French, Japanese and more. Their truaxent speech recognition technology gives real time feedback to help perfect your pronunciation. No translations, just natural learning that builds to phrases to full conversations. Whether you have five minutes or an hour. You can learn anytime on desktop or mobile. Get a lifetime membership and unlock all 25 languages. Learn as much as you want, whenever you want. Rosetta Stone. Learn confidently. Connect authentically. Don't wait. Unlock your language learning potential. Now listeners can grab Rosetta Stone's lifetime membership for 50% off. That's unlimited access to 25 language courses for life. Visit Rosetta Stone.com pod50 to get started and claim your 50% off today. Don't miss out. Go to Rosett and start learning today. There's no place to escape to.

[Marcus Parks]

This is the lost on the left side stories.

[Henry Zebrowski]

That's when the cannibalism started. Side stories, yes. First of all, I want to say thank you to everybody who reached out to me. All the kind support I had over this very difficult weekend.

[Marcus Parks]

What happened?

[Henry Zebrowski]

I buried my father this weekend with the help of Marcus and Eddie. Eddie. Marcus did try to step in for the Gravedigger.

[Marcus Parks]

Yes.

[Henry Zebrowski]

One of the best characters of the weekend.

[Marcus Parks]

Oh my God. Sorry for your loss. That.

[Henry Zebrowski]

That's how we wrapped up the ceremony. Very scary, man. Honestly was very beard.

[Marcus Parks]

He could have tucked into his pants. Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Sorry for your loss.

[Marcus Parks]

He's like literally like if you close your eyes right now, think the word gravedigger, that's the guy.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Sorry for your loss. Tampering down the hole that they put the vase that was inside that. My father good at his job. Super pro, big pro. But I want to reach out to anybody that sent me this book that, like, I feel like I'm attacked. Someone sent Book Joy in for me to read as if I don't experience it.

[Marcus Parks]

Oh, really?

[Henry Zebrowski]

And people don't understand. I'm the most joyful person you've ever met.

[Marcus Parks]

I don't think you can give a mad person a book called Joy and expect them to have a good time.

[Henry Zebrowski]

If you hand me a book called Joy, guess what it turns into? A Man Called Anger.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Because it's nice. Thanks. But I don't need a whole Joy to. I need a whole book to feel joy. You know what I need to feel joy?

[Marcus Parks]

What?

[Henry Zebrowski]

A six pack? A bunch of ribs. My AK 47.

[Marcus Parks]

You love your AK.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Me. My AK 47. I sl. We sleep together each night.

[Marcus Parks]

I get lighting your joints with it.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Oh, yes. It's covered in lipstick for me. Kissing it and hugging it like I'm Leah Neeson in my. And my. My gun is Pamela Anderson.

[Marcus Parks]

It's really nice. You could put a little dress on it.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah. They're dating.

[Marcus Parks]

They dating?

[Henry Zebrowski]

Apparently.

[Marcus Parks]

I love that they're dating. I think it's wonderful.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I think it's wonderful. I honestly, I love it.

[Marcus Parks]

I think it's really cool. But I heard there was a rumor that it's not true that they're not dating. They're only saying they are for the movie.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Oh, it's very possible. It's very possible. But I hope they're not lying because I'm not lying to you, my dearest audience, when I say thank you for all your support and thanks for the Joy. Get it out of here.

[Marcus Parks]

Yes. Are you going to read Joy?

[Henry Zebrowski]

No. Welcome to side Stories. My name is Henry Sabrowski.

[Marcus Parks]

Would you like to burn it?

[Henry Zebrowski]

I've never gotten to burn a book before. For now.

[Marcus Parks]

I know. We could burn this one.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah, I know. No, honestly, practice.

[Marcus Parks]

I'll. I'll thumb through it, we'll take your mustache in and we'll burn the book.

[Henry Zebrowski]

And I'm sitting here with Ed Larson.

[Marcus Parks]

How you doing, buddy?

[Henry Zebrowski]

I'm fine.

[Marcus Parks]

You? It was. It was actually a nice weekend.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Grieving over done.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Closed. Grieving completed.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. It's never going to come back at all. You're never going to think about it. Once again, smooth sailing. I never think about my dead parents.

[Henry Zebrowski]

No. It doesn't come up at all.

[Marcus Parks]

It's not like I made a movie or anything.

[Henry Zebrowski]

No, I am just gonna. Me ready to go on my own father.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I don't need a father anymore.

[Marcus Parks]

Okay. Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Because I have me.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. You are your father.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yes.

[Marcus Parks]

Yes. Search for new daddy.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Well, we. We have to announce that later on. We're not ready to announce that yet.

[Marcus Parks]

Okay. All right. So just, you know, we'll bleep it out. Pretend I said cunt.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Keeping that cut, though. Keeping that cut. We made it past the mark. We made it past the mark.

[Marcus Parks]

I will say this weekend I've been to a lot of funerals. I think it was an interesting thing. We're all like going around like, who has it, who's it? Some people were like, this is my first funeral. Is my first whatever. I'm like, I've been way over 20, I don't even know the number. And definitely my most stoned funeral.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Great.

[Marcus Parks]

And I, you know, I brought a lot of weed. Y' all brought a lot of weed.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yes.

[Marcus Parks]

I'm very impressed with our level of weed intake.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Well, I saved it for after. Right. I buried him sober.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. Well, I mean, it was early. Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

And then later on it was a morning ass funeral if you've ever had. I mean, I just feel like it's like, it's nice to get it done with, but it's just like hard. It's a way to start the day.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

It was real early in the morning.

[Marcus Parks]

It's crazy because I'm there with you and Jackie and I gotta say, if there's two people in this world that I've had the most beers with, it's probably the two of you close. And it was like a sober. Other than the weed, a pretty sober weekend.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Well, yeah, it's because I was with my mom. Doesn't really. She doesn't into it. And I'm not trying to get. My father was an alcoholic.

[Marcus Parks]

I know, but like usually like funerals hammered, you know. As a funeral connoisseur, I actually prefer.

[Henry Zebrowski]

The weed based funeral way more than the booze based funeral.

[Marcus Parks]

I think I do now. I think. I think it's much. I think it's way more important because the booze one, I mean, it's just gonna get you sad or every.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I really do. I. That's what's really.

[Marcus Parks]

The weed is numbing.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah. Well, it's nice. And then I stop to feel things. So that's what I do now. I have to not smoke weed so that I can process my feelings with my fucking therapist, which I'm gonna do.

[Marcus Parks]

You're such a fucking pussy.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah, dude. He can't handle me, dude. He had to take eight weeks off for parental leave because he Had a baby.

[Marcus Parks]

Oh, yeah, yeah, whatever baby. Don't need therapy.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Can't handle the heat of your main dish, Mr. Roast Beef. Who's got daddy issues? But don't worry, I'm writing in a big journal. I got a big journal. Some people call it a manifesto. That is what I'm slowly but surely carving out. But don't worry, ladies and gentlemen, you'll see the fruit of those labors next year.

[Marcus Parks]

Notice they don't call it a woman of festival.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Not once. Because women just kill you slow. And they don't tell you why they're killing you.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, they. Well, they talk you to death.

[Henry Zebrowski]

No, come on. A lot of times they poison you. Oh, they love the times they poison.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I actually did talk to someone tangentially connected to the Ghost Adventures crew.

[Marcus Parks]

Are they mad at us about.

[Henry Zebrowski]

No, no, they're fine. I mean, like, they're just in a whole world of herd. But the fact that that lady, the guy's wife that tried to get put out a hit on him, that talk with the guy that killed his family footage. Dude, did you watch any of that?

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, where she was just like the cops were pretending that he was dead.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yes.

[Marcus Parks]

And then, like, she was just like, oh, my God.

[Henry Zebrowski]

It was very, very. That was like one piece, of course, footage I watched this week. Also the Aaron Goodwin story. It's so sad. All that stuff is just so sad with him, with. With his white hj. But she was connected to three other family annihilators.

[Marcus Parks]

Really.

[Henry Zebrowski]

She was talking to all of these, like, murderers in death row that she was having emotional affairs with. And then she also was having. Because Gran Amato, that was the main dude she was kind of talking with who killed his family after giving all of their family's money to an only fans chick and Bulgaria or whatever. And then when he told her he doesn't. He's like, my whole family said it might be going to jail. She went, oh, no. Like, no fucking reaction.

[Marcus Parks]

I think if your wife is constantly picking up the phone and saying the words, yes, I accept the charges. You got to keep an eye on her, dude.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Dude. But she was having. Not just like grand Amato didn't even understand that she was cheating on him with other murderers in jail. So you can't trust a trifler.

[Marcus Parks]

No.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Once a cheater, always a cheater. Doesn't matter how many of your members of your family you've killed.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. Seems like you could just call them Human Adventures because they seem to be more dangerous than your Ghost Adventures.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Very Much so they might need to start focusing on people because people are the scariest of all. But, Grant, you know, this is. It's just hard. Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

Yes.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I trust my wife.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I don't think she's gonna. I don't think she's plotting to kill me with anybody else.

[Marcus Parks]

I don't think she could. Oh, she could. No. Emotionally, I don't think Natalie could hurt somebody.

[Henry Zebrowski]

No, definitely not. No. She's too kind. But she would definitely. But, you know, husbands are different.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, they are different.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Husbands just get fucking. Husbands get.

[Marcus Parks]

Fucking couch smells bad now.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yep. Sorry.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

That's just my body. It's the one chair I sit in. And then for some reason, I've made it disgusting with just my back. I didn't know I could do what my father did. Also, I do find it interesting, and I don't. It was. I'm saving for. Saving this for the show for Eddie. Is that none of us were. Wanted to sit in my father's chair in the backyard.

[Marcus Parks]

Oh, it was comfortable.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

I could tell it was his chair.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

No, I could. When I sat in it, I was like, this is nice.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Well, that's where he kind of lived and died.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

He's in that chair.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah. We were all superstitious. We didn't want to sit in that chair.

[Marcus Parks]

Someone had to sit in the chair. It's right in the middle. I know, but I was good. It was good. I was commanding the conversation.

[Henry Zebrowski]

You did very good. You lit up a cigarette by. By lighting another cigarette.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

And I do think that that's. That's how you really represented my father and I.

[Marcus Parks]

Did I sit in the same spot in the couch, too? Yes. In the corner.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

That seemed like it was his spot, only because that's where the teddy bear was. And so not that your dad played with the teddy bear, but the teddy bear was made out from his clothes. And so I thought, I'm like. As I'm sitting there and, like, the bears on top me, I'm like, this is probably a spot.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Also, my mom is like, I got. You have to understand, too. Is that, like, foreign Italian woman. To become a widow is like graduating from college that once you finally get that place, this is what you've been angling for your whole life. The way she gave out all of the five possessions that my father had is just so brutal.

[Marcus Parks]

I didn't get nothing.

[Henry Zebrowski]

She literally was like, who wants his gun? Who wants his gun? You know, this is like, just, let's just.

[Marcus Parks]

Woman that stays in Florida that gun goes nowhere.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Why do you have this gun?

[Marcus Parks]

Someone should be look, come looking for the gun.

[Henry Zebrowski]

No, it was not his service result. It was not his service revolver. He gave that up when he retired. It was just his gun. Yes, but still no, dude. A lot of guns floating around.

[Marcus Parks]

It's interesting because, like, it's on record that he owns a gun and that he's dead. No one's asking a question about where the gun is.

[Henry Zebrowski]

They are. Well, now we're in a problem.

[Marcus Parks]

It's like a law that should be. It should exist.

[Henry Zebrowski]

We're working on it right now. Don't worry about it. We're cleaning it up.

[Marcus Parks]

Hello, J.D. vance. I need to talk to you.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Let me talk to you. I gotta it. Please let me talk. A huge fan. Can't wait to meet you.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

You know, you see what I did?

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I didn't say what I did in her microphone. See, that's how you get away with it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

You're growing. See, that's nice because I know that.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Sometimes they put AIs in there to listen. That's what's happening.

[Marcus Parks]

Oh, is that what's happening?

[Henry Zebrowski]

Oh, sure, no, let's.

[Marcus Parks]

You, you, you, you robot slut.

[Henry Zebrowski]

You dirty.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, I'm gonna fill your gears, you little girl.

[Henry Zebrowski]

You goddamn lazy clanker. I love that clankers, or I love that new term for robots. That's like. I think someone put in some tweet the idea of like, don't you hate it when you call up the. The phone service and you get some goddamn clanker on the line? And I was like, that's a great slur for AI.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, man, good. Because robots, they're like the only thing you can be racist to.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I mean, hopefully until they could vote. Oh, I'm one more cancellation around the. Oh, we're gonna have to say I'm sorry for this episode. Ten years. All right, here we go.

[Marcus Parks]

Let's go.

[Henry Zebrowski]

So we got some news.

[Marcus Parks]

Clankers.

[Henry Zebrowski]

We don't have a lot of news, but the news that we have is pretty good. Okay, so first of all, I'm gonna start. Silly, silly. I'm going to start with us with what we cover best. The Burbank butt sniffer has been arrested. Now, I. This is, this is a story that got sent to me many, many times. Now, I don't necessarily want to make light of the idea of public sexual assault. I'm not going to make light of it bit. But a butt sniffer is arguably the most unique Version of this that I have seen. And if you see the man and the culprit who did it, Khalees Karan Crowder, 38 years young, you'd actually wonder why he wasn't called the but listener.

[Marcus Parks]

Yes.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Because the man has. I am not joke.

[Marcus Parks]

I am.

[Henry Zebrowski]

This is not an exaggeration for ears. He has two trombones. That is the largest, whitest ears I have ever seen on a person. Yeah, because I don't even know if you'd call that cauliflower ear.

[Marcus Parks]

No, it's not cauliflower ear, because cauliflower ear has, like, a shape to it.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Like, what are those ears? Was that man pulled by his ears by a tractor trailer?

[Marcus Parks]

I think he was able to get away with this so long by able to listen that no one was sneaking up behind.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Oh, my God. You think he put his ear down to the ground like a. Like a. One of those Native American trackers, and he could hear where butts were? Yeah, like, there's a big badonkadonk over there. Now someone's twerking on aisle seven. Oh, I got to go. I got to smell the drift. Nothing like a butt drift. Now, I actually. So we have footage here. So this man, I guess, had been around town. This was footage that was shot in Glendale. He goes to various shopping areas, bookstores.

[Marcus Parks]

That just where he got caught.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Nordstrom rack. You know, he was at the rack. He also was, like, two bookstores. And I think the reason why is actually bookstores. It's a very specific set of circumstances that help his crimes. So what he would do, it seems, is that he'd get down low. Now, you've seen this video here. People have come to me saying that.

[Marcus Parks]

They recognize the guy.

[Henry Zebrowski]

It felt like anywhere I moved.

[Marcus Parks]

He kept following me, though I recorded.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Just in case he was trying to.

[Marcus Parks]

Say anything or do anything to me. But I definitely didn't expect him to do this.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Like, what the actual pretending to be, like, crouching down by a bookshelf and then coming behind me and smelling me. And he does the same thing to another girl. Yeah. So what you could see is that he's down on the ground.

[Marcus Parks]

He's pretending like he's looking at the bottom shelf of books.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yes. And then he does this thing where he goes to. And he's. Let's just, you know. No. No uncertain terms. He sniffs the butt. Yeah, but this is my thing when you're. I'm not saying that there's nothing. It's not about technique or whatever, but have you ever Smelled the pants of a woman. No. Try it. A lot of pants. Now it seems I might be wrong. Side Stories LP Life's laundry.

[Marcus Parks]

I can give this a shot while I'm on.

[Henry Zebrowski]

While they're on her. Is that. What I've discovered is, is that there's. I think that there's. Isn't there material in a lot of these yoga pants that specifically cut down the smell that can escape the butt?

[Marcus Parks]

I mean, I think ladies just clean themselves better than we do.

[Henry Zebrowski]

No, I mean, not necessarily. Depends on what part of the monetary cycle we're at. Okay. Because I, I wonder if, like if you smell at a woman's butt. If you just smell.

[Marcus Parks]

Smell at a woman's butt.

[Henry Zebrowski]

If you just.

[Marcus Parks]

An interesting sentence.

[Henry Zebrowski]

What kind of smell are you even getting out of it? It like the thing. I feel like you really got to be up in it. And he, his nose does get very close to the crack.

[Marcus Parks]

He's a little too adventurous for sure.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Oh, he's flying close to the buns. That is for certain. Like, he has got to be careful. His. His wings will melt.

[Marcus Parks]

Obviously this is like a beatable offense, but what is the crime?

[Henry Zebrowski]

Well, yes, the crime is this. I do think that you are violating somebody's personal space. You're smelling their butt. People don't like it. People get super upset about it. He was arrested for this because now we have some footage of him smelling butts.

[Marcus Parks]

Yes.

[Henry Zebrowski]

But I guess it's like I am glad he's not because we've had butt slashers.

[Marcus Parks]

Do we know what his charges.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I think it's. I think he's doing illegal nose based activity. I'm pretty certain that's how they actually got a lot of people in the old days with the coke charges. Yeah. I think it was. Obviously it's sexual assault.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Call it a sexual harassment at least.

[Marcus Parks]

Yes.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Because if he's not touching you. I actually don't know. Side stories lpotl.com here. What is the available crimes? It says he was arrested and charged with loitering with intent to commit a crime. Sure. That makes sense. I guess that's the. If you're going to get him, that's how you immediately pick him up. Because he's on a corporate. He's in a private business.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. I'm not sticking up for him. But no. Feels like that's not good enough to hold water in court.

[Henry Zebrowski]

It might. I feel like there's a lot of people that are going to say this and I'll say to them they're like, oh, it's because you're a butt sniffer pervert that just wants to create a legal loophole for yourself. But there, I think that there are people that would say that you're going to be, I think, a jury. I think if you put this in front of a jury, I mean, he's.

[Marcus Parks]

Obviously sniffing this woman's butt. And we do know that is wrong.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yes. Now, but if you put him in front of a jury, first of all, how do you build that jury for people that would be fair to this crime? You're going to have people that are like, yeah, of course. Sniffing butts. This is America. My nose is as free as my feet.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

You mean to tell me you can't sniff your butt? I think the key is physical proximity. Is that if I could smell your butt from here, that's your problem. Right.

[Marcus Parks]

But don't you have to wait till actual, like, contact is made for assault?

[Henry Zebrowski]

I have. I don't think so. I don't think so. Okay. Does this change anything? In 2023, he was allegedly caught peeping into a family's home in Glendale, but he was released later due to the jail being overcrowded.

[Marcus Parks]

Okay.

[Henry Zebrowski]

And he was also rearrested for failing to register with the local police. I wonder what it's like. Yeah, I wonder what it's like eating dinner. I wonder what it's like having father ask me how my day was. Is that what he's peeping at?

[Marcus Parks]

No, he's not trying to look at the family.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I wish someone would ask me what my day was like. I'd say, well, Dad, I sniffed a butt this morning and now I'm here eating liver and onions with you. Now can I smell your butt? Because I'm just looking for. But to sneer, people are really saying here, wow. The wife of former LA Lakers forward Robert Hori accused this man, the butt sniffer, of stalking their teenage daughter more than a decade prior.

[Marcus Parks]

Oh, geez.

[Henry Zebrowski]

She said that he should be put away for good. I agree that though this is one of those crimes forever, but this is one of those crimes that is. No way. Is not going to escalate. He's going to escalate. There is something. This is very similar to me to the very nefarious beginnings of the Lake Tahoe toe sucker. And the guy grabbing people's feet and guys doing stuff like that. Right. Like, on some level, like. But that it's physical assault. Yes, but this is still a violation of people's personal space.

[Marcus Parks]

I'm not saying don't lock this guy up. I'm just saying we got to make sure we got the right charge.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I know. I'm with you, Eddie. I just don't know how much smells he's getting out of just pants. I just feel like if you're wanting to really smell a woman's butt, you're going to have to pay lady to get her underwear.

[Marcus Parks]

All right, this guy's got money.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Oh, yeah. It is the issue.

[Marcus Parks]

I don't think he's got.

[Henry Zebrowski]

So is this a monetary issue? Would a UBI stop butt sniffers?

[Marcus Parks]

You know, it's one of those things where I always like stories.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Lpodl gmail.com.

[Marcus Parks]

It'S about the thrill. You know, it's about. Yes, definitely, it's about the thrill.

[Henry Zebrowski]

No, he wants to sneak a sniff, but it's very difficult to get.

[Marcus Parks]

I always thought about that about, like, Harvey Weinstein. Why didn't he just, like, get, you know, Transgression.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah, because it's the transgression. He likes the fact that he can lord the power over you. It's not about the sex. He likes the fact that he has something that you want from him and he's going to try to get what he can from you.

[Marcus Parks]

And that's what. That is. The main problem with this situation.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Well, yes, it's sniffing butts. It's not because, you know, like, some people, you could smell someone's perfume.

[Marcus Parks]

Yes.

[Henry Zebrowski]

But you're also not going to stick their face in their neck to get it.

[Marcus Parks]

No.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Unless you're a cool guy. If you're, like a kind of romantic guy.

[Marcus Parks]

Also, perfume is something you put on for other people to smell.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yes.

[Marcus Parks]

Your butt. You don't sit there and be like, I can't wait for someone to smell this butt.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Or if you are, you know, you got it scheduled.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

And, you know, put perfume in your butt. Or you just do. You got a stinky butt.

[Marcus Parks]

Which isn't a horrible idea, by the way.

[Henry Zebrowski]

No, it's not. And a stinky butt. Some people like the perfume of just that.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. All right.

[Henry Zebrowski]

But normally you have an appointment for that and you know it's gonna happen and just doesn't happen to you at the Barnes and Noble while you're reading the Hillary Clinton memoir.

[Marcus Parks]

Man, I would love to just make this guy smell my farts.

[Henry Zebrowski]

See, that's what I should be, a punishment. Punishment. It's like you hire me to drink.

[Marcus Parks]

A case of ipa.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I think that's exactly what this.

[Marcus Parks]

In this man's mouth.

[Henry Zebrowski]

This man should have to go To a Delta Lounge at 8:45 in the morning and experience true ass.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Because that's the thing right now when you sniffing cute girls butts. Right. That's sniffing butt.

[Marcus Parks]

Yes.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Needs to experience some man ass.

[Marcus Parks]

Yes.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Which is a full on me. Haven't eaten a bunch of curry at 11pm the night before, I drank four beers in my bed watching Forensic Files. I've now gotten two hours of sleep.

[Marcus Parks]

I'm at the airport, said the words, I'm so sick.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

Like feel good, man.

[Henry Zebrowski]

That's what he needs to experience being like. Because then if you smell, if you can, that's what he likes. Right. You like farts? It should be like. Yeah. When your father finds you smoking a cigarette, then he makes you smoke the whole paddock.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Now you gotta have the most farts at once. And if that still makes you hard, if that makes him hard, then I.

[Marcus Parks]

Think we should beat him to death.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I. No, we shouldn't beat him to death. I just think that we should just. We should find a way for him to get like. Is there a methadone of ass?

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

If there's like a thing he could get that could curb his. Like he just fart in a jar and he could just. Could they hypnotize him?

[Marcus Parks]

Oh, permanent. Oh, permanent clothes pin super glue clothespin to his nose.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Whoa. Chemical castration of a butt sniffer. I do think that you get. Maybe there's a hypnotism here that can make butts smell good. Here.

[Marcus Parks]

That's already.

[Henry Zebrowski]

He's got that already. But I need like the opposite.

[Marcus Parks]

Oh. So like, if all butts did smell good, maybe he would stop sniffing butts.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Because I think he likes to smell farts and butts.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

We'll find out.

[Marcus Parks]

Either way, he's getting locked up. No more butt sniffer in our town. I could throw my ass out in any neighborhood Burbank store and not worry about this man catching a whiff.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yep. Cause is when I fart, I'm farting for the community. $100,000 bail.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, well, that's only. You only got to pay 10% of that.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Still.

[Marcus Parks]

Still 10 grand.

[Henry Zebrowski]

This man's sniffing butts as a hobby. I don't think he's got it. I, you know, it's. I am actually very thankful that they gave him a pretty high bond for this because I do think that he's on his way to doing something extremely bad.

[Marcus Parks]

Do you think he has a pubic defender?

[Henry Zebrowski]

I hope so. I hope so. Hi. Hello. I'M your pubic hair lawyer. Yeah, yeah, as you can see, unshorn. Why would I? You see my pube window? Yes, I do that to show the judge I mean business. Now, let's get to sniffing butts, shall we?

[Marcus Parks]

I love subscriptions. There's nothing I can do about it. It's a problem, apparently. At least that's what Rocket Money told me. And I was doing lots of things that I shouldn't have been doing. Paying for newspapers I didn't read. You know, paying for streaming services I wasn't even watching. But it turns out, oh, Eddie really likes his takeout. It wasn't until I got Rocket Money that I realized I need to start going back to the grocery store every once in a while and cooking my own food. Spending a little too much on the old takeout tacos. They really shouldn't be that much. You go to the store and you buy everything you need to make it. It's a little bit cheaper now. All right? So thank you, Rocket Money, for showing me that I have a problem. I suggest that you people out there, you go ahead and you do yourself a little favor as well and get yourself Rocket Money so you could find out where you're spending cash that you ain't got. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Go to RocketMoney.com LPOTL today. That's RocketMoney.com LPOTL RocketMoney.com LPOTL get better at life this summer. Buckle up for a wild ride with the pickup, where the plan goes sideways and the laughs hit hard. Streaming August 6th on Prime Video. Eddie Murphy and Pete Davidson star as Russell and Travis, two armored truck drivers who think they're on a basic cash run until everything goes off the rails. The they get ambushed by a crew of ruthless criminals led by mastermind Zoe.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Played by the one and only Keke Palmer.

[Marcus Parks]

Now Russell and Travis have to survive the chaos, clash with each other, and somehow make it through one very bad day that just keeps getting worse. Directed by Tim Storey, the pickup is packed with action comedy and a cast.

[Henry Zebrowski]

That delivers every single time.

[Marcus Parks]

Think car chases. Big laughs and even bigger personalities. If you love a high stakes mess with wild energy, this is the movie you don't want to miss. Watch the pickup only on Prime Video August 6th.

[Laci Mosley]

What's poppin, listeners? I'm Laci Mosley, host of the podcast Scam Goddess, the show that's an ode to fraud and all those who practice it. Each week I talk with very special guests about the scammiest scammers of all time. Want to know about the fake errors. We got them. What about a career con man? We've got them, too. Guys that will wine and dine you and then steal all your coins. Oh, you know, they are represented because representation matters. I'm joined by guests like Nicole Byer, Ira Madison iii, Conan o' Brien and more. Join the congregation and listen to Scam Goddess. Wherever you get your podcasts.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Here's another story now, if anybody's been following Jeremy Corbell. Oh, friend of the show.

[Marcus Parks]

Interesting friend of the show.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Part of, you know, he's with George Knapp, our favorite investigative reporter. For their show Weaponized. Jeremy Corbell has received several pieces of, I would say, from the audience over the years. People, obviously, you know, they're not our audience. I mean, all. Every audience, but they're always nice.

[Marcus Parks]

Our audience, they're so kind.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I know, but Jeremy Corbell, obviously, he's a bit of a salesman edge to him. So I think some people don't really like, like, he r wrong, but the man's heart is in the right place and he's obsessed with finding out the truth. Now, Jeremy Corbell and George Knapp have. Have been talking about the concept of disclosure for a very long time. And the idea.

[Marcus Parks]

That's that Demi Moore film.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Oh, yeah, it is, but that's not what I'm talking about. Great film, though.

[Marcus Parks]

Yes.

[Henry Zebrowski]

That's a sexy film. That's the one where she's the boss. She posts it on the guy. Right. That's a whole thing.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

That flips. Yeah, it's nice.

[Marcus Parks]

Michael Douglas didn't have that.

[Henry Zebrowski]

A chance. Not a shot.

[Marcus Parks]

You got to keep your job.

[Henry Zebrowski]

She's got them. Boun. Yeah. Oh, hell yeah. All right, let's. Let's move on. Sorry. I digress. So for years, the UFO community, years, since the beginning of the UFO community, we've been talking about this concept of disclosure and this idea that one day the government will either be compelled by either their own purposes or by just the sheer love of truth, that they will come out and tell us every single thing they know about UFOs. They've been hiding for years. And it's going to come, and it's going to come any day. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

[Marcus Parks]

I mean, I feel like if they had anything, now would be the exact time to release all that information.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Oh, believe me. Because like, he's releasing, Trump's releasing anything but the Epstein file. It's like anything but it also I don't know if you noticed the thing with, with Trump just basically admitting that the they, the land deal between him and Epstein was actually never the fight. He was angry that he scooped Virginia Giuffre and the other 16 year old masseus he had at Mar a Lago. And he said those words into a camera. Yeah, he just said it out loud.

[Marcus Parks]

So that's the woman who accused them and then committed suicide after.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yes, yes. Virginia Joffre. Yes, absolutely. So we know that he's super honest. So we know they're looking to release anything right now. And for a long time that like, well, well last like two, three years, the term that's really been, has been the concept of catastrophic disclosure. So one version is that they will create a legal venue for whistleblowers to tell their stories. That's, I think that David Grush did. And a couple of these various. We've seen these like government entities trying to like hold conferences, talking about UFOs and they're saying, oh, we're going to create this transparent reporting system, blah, blah, blah, Nothing. Right. All that completely shut down. No one's doing any of that. And then they said catastrophic disclosure was going to happen, meaning that someone was just going to leak really crazy information that was going to come out and it was going to change the face of the world, blah, blah, blah. We haven't seen that yet either. Jeremy Corbell, who now is my friend, it's nice, he messages me late at night, footage of UFO that's actually quite scary. And okay, he shows all the stuff. Some of it gets debunked, some of it doesn't. But mostly what Jeremy Corbell has been saying now I find very interesting. So his latest theory is that even just the idea of disclosure has been put out as a sort of psychological warfare technique. Now we know the United States government, as much as they say that they don't care. They obviously give a shit.

[Marcus Parks]

Right.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Because they have spent years, decades infiltrating UFO research groups with various intelligence operatives. They, they care enough about the, the information.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

To lie about it. And we know that.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, we know they're not telling us everything.

[Henry Zebrowski]

But why? Right. That's the big thing was why, why, why?

[Marcus Parks]

Worried we're gonna flip out.

[Henry Zebrowski]

That's part of it. They think it's going to destroy the social hierarchies, it's going to destroy religion, it's going to destroy all.

[Marcus Parks]

But then there were some things that were like, yeah, no, that is our footage and that we don't Know what that is? That isn't. That is a uap. And then everyone didn't care.

[Henry Zebrowski]

What's. Because people don't care. And also because the main issue is stuff like, you know, many people are still to this day absolutely devoted members of the Catholic Church, even though this filled with child molesters. So you notice you don't need to shake it up. No one's going to get shaken up from their religious anything. Nothing's going to do that. Right. So that's like, that's why they keep saying all of these, these reasons why lie. But it's seeming, it's because they don't know what the hell's going on. And now there's a new line of thought that's very interesting and Jeremy Corbell believes that his new concept of disclosure is that the United States government is going to lie and it's going to say that there is going to be a giant ship on its way, okay, tracking it. So it's going to be a lie though.

[Marcus Parks]

So he's saying this doesn't exist.

[Henry Zebrowski]

No. That there is nothing on its way. But they're going to use this as a way to shut people up about the subject and also to create a fun timeline for them. It creates this thing of like, oh, we'll tell everybody in the next 100 years as it's coming, right?

[Marcus Parks]

Because when is it supposed to come?

[Henry Zebrowski]

Whenever. So everyone's like, all right, all right, Jeremy Carbell maybe, who knows? Cut to as he's saying this, the New York Post drops this article.

[Marcus Parks]

Very reliable.

[Henry Zebrowski]

But it's, that's why though, it's a mechanism, Eddie.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Rare interstellar object the size of Manhattan. Could be an alien probe. According to Harvard scientists. Harvard scientists. Same people who took Jeffrey Epstein's money. So these guys are, you know, they, they are now saying that they have tracked this giant Manhattan sized object that is outside our solar system. They said they just, they found it in July 1st. It's going at 140,000 miles per hour. It's this. Oh, very, very, very, very fast. Avi Loeb, who's like the big UFO Harvard guy, he says it's technically, this is what they call. It's the only. It's the third interstellar traveling object ever detected. He is saying that he thinks it could be an intelligently directed alien craft observing Earth with possibly hostile intentions. The hypothesis is in question is that this object is a technological artifact and furthermore has active intelligence. If this is the case, then two possibilities follow. According to Dr. Avi Loeb first, that its intentions are entirely benign and second, they are maligned. Great.

[Marcus Parks]

So no, no it's anything.

[Henry Zebrowski]

No answer now, but it seems they're saying that it changed directions and it made a tilt and it's made the like, like all this stuff. But it's direct offshoot of what Jeremy Corbell was saying of this idea of creating a phantom object that's on its way. And I don't know. I don't know because I personally still believe that it is not as simple as things that live on another planet.

[Marcus Parks]

The objects got a very close encounters vibe.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yes, it is. It's very interesting looking. It is a bunch of. It looks like a giant line in the sky is actually. It is with lights. Yes. It's very frightening actually, but also could be completely made up. No fucking idea.

[Marcus Parks]

Yes.

[Henry Zebrowski]

And so my end question to you, Eddie, is why then lie about it now? Why light now? Why do. Why do anything? Why not just let it die?

[Marcus Parks]

Well, here's the thing about lying about it now, which is why I don't know if they are. Because it's not like this is a popular thing, you know, this isn't like.

[Henry Zebrowski]

You don't think. I actually weirdly do think it's a popular thing.

[Marcus Parks]

I don't, but I haven't read about it or heard about it until right before we walked in here.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I mean, I've just. But you see, what that does is that that article floods throughout all the UFO subreddits. Floods throughout all of the conspiracy theory websites. It just floods. So the what they. It's what you'd call the, you know, something like a limited hangout.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Where you drop it in this little, little piece of this little thing and then everybody. Because it's. Because it's so nonchalantly saying. Such a wild speculation.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

It travels fast.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. And. But I do, you know, I think a lot of times whenever I read the news, I like to like use my deductive reasoning, like who's telling me the news? Like it's coming from the New York Post.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Exactly right leaning.

[Marcus Parks]

You're correct, newspaper. And so I feel like it's obviously not. Obviously. I feel like there's a good chance. This is incredible distraction post. A very distraction based article.

[Henry Zebrowski]

From what?

[Marcus Parks]

You know, and then if you want to like. Because right now they're losing their conspiracy theory base, you know, all those. And so why not throw a really crazy conspiracy story at all of us to get us cooking.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Well, the new one's now going to be the, the. Well, the very Big conspiracy theories that are about to come shooting down the pipe type. You fucking bet money on this is that Ghislaine Maxwell is going to point fingers at anybody but Trump.

[Marcus Parks]

I mean, why would we believe anything she says?

[Henry Zebrowski]

Because people hate women and they will actively not care about all the victims in this scenario.

[Marcus Parks]

They already don't.

[Henry Zebrowski]

They don't. So they actually kind of like that Jizz Lane made victims of other women.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

That's what I. I think that the audience that is willing to accept lies from Ghislaine Maxwell considers her a man.

[Marcus Parks]

But why?

[Henry Zebrowski]

That's like. They true. We're like, sex trafficking. That's a man's job. Good work. Good work, lady.

[Marcus Parks]

But it's.

[Henry Zebrowski]

You really have the labels to get that handled. Good work. It's a hard job wrangling up a woman.

[Marcus Parks]

But, like, my thing is, why didn't she say this when she got arrested in the first place?

[Henry Zebrowski]

Because she didn't have the opportunity to get pardoned. She was. It wasn't gonna. That wasn't being flo time. She didn't have a administration in their. In the crosshairs like they are right now. She didn't have that.

[Marcus Parks]

But did you just say that Trump was there or someone else was there?

[Henry Zebrowski]

No one will believe. No one will believe her if she. I believe her now, understand that. No one will believe her if she says that Trump was there. They will believe her if she says that everybody else was there, which is what they're looking for. This is exactly what they're looking for. They're looking for her to say all of those things, and then they're going to pardon her and she's just going to be free.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

And she's going to do it again.

[Marcus Parks]

I do, but I don't know if she'll be able to do it again.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Oh, no. They figured that out. You don't think she's gonna go to Turks and Caicos or, like, go to some. She's gonna go straight to some castle in England and there's gonna be little girls on there rubbing Prince Andrew's feet in, like, six weeks. It's gonna happen.

[Marcus Parks]

How is she gonna build the good faith?

[Henry Zebrowski]

Because she already had it. She's got all the connections. I'm talking if you beat the rap. Did you beat that rap twice? Dude, you beat that rap. Look at what happened. I mean, I know this is ridiculous. Look at John Gotti.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Him beating those raps just made him stronger. Look at Donald Trump.

[Marcus Parks]

Didn't he get him beating?

[Henry Zebrowski]

Well, eventually. Eventually sure. Look at Trump. Every time they win, they get stronger. So he's like, if she gets pardoned, there's been no. There's no crimes, Eddie.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

All the crimes are gone. It's all really. It's all erased. None of it happens.

[Marcus Parks]

Happened.

[Henry Zebrowski]

It's all gone. So it's gonna. That's the big conspiracy theory, and that's gonna happen.

[Marcus Parks]

You think so? Yeah, I just don't think they're gonna.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Get away with that. The only way, if their arrangement actually is going to go south, we're gonna see a gray standing next to Trump with a noose around its neck like that is. That is what's gonna happen if that plan doesn't work. The next plan is there's gonna be two met. Two people in gray costumes next to Trump.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Doing the first Zeta reticula, you know, golf course.

[Marcus Parks]

All right, so we know that no matter what, she ain't gonna roll on Trump because that's not gonna help her.

[Henry Zebrowski]

We know.

[Marcus Parks]

Now, let me ask you this. If she rolls on some other people, people who were there, people who did.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Do the crimes, well, they need to have very. She has apparently two boxes of evidence that she brought into a private meeting with representatives from the DOJ that she.

[Marcus Parks]

Took all of her shit when she went to prison. It.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Because it's her stuff.

[Marcus Parks]

It doesn't make any sense.

[Henry Zebrowski]

She builded it up over time. If you actually remember those John Wayne Gacy interviews I sent you to watch for fun, when you watch those things, you. You know, he had that big evidence file that's like, she can do all that from jail. Like, she can print all that out within jail, and she's had nothing but time to sit and. And work on this gigantic file folder of information that she says that she has that is ironclad. It's going to knock everybody out. Not like they have 100,000 pages of Epstein files inside of the White House right now that they have read that they specifically had orders to flag Trump's name in that they had specific orders to cut around and to completely redact. So it's. I mean, that shit's gone. All that's gone. Now DOJ is coming out and saying, actually, we do have the video with the missing minute. We do have it. We're just. You know, it's just. They're just bad at lying.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. You know what the crazy part is? If she does roll on Clinton, we can't do anything about it because. But we can't do anything about it because of the laws that Trump put in place.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yep, it's pretty.

[Marcus Parks]

Seems to really work out for everybody.

[Henry Zebrowski]

It's almost like they're all on one team and nobody cares.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, because they're friends.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yep. Because they're all friends. They're all friends and we're just not friends with them. Them. So remember that. Remember that. All right. So I'm gonna be yelling off this for the rest of my life, aren't I?

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I'm never gonna get past this.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, well, it's so funny because we got there.

[Henry Zebrowski]

That's why instead of reading we were talking about aliens. We were. That's why instead of reading the Epstein files, I'm reading this book called Joy.

[Marcus Parks]

Ah, yes.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Because you see. See how wide my smile is? I'm holding.

[Marcus Parks]

But the way that person stretching their leg, you can really get a good sniff of that ass.

[Henry Zebrowski]

See, honestly, I'm saying if a guy's smelling your butt, just let him finish.

[Marcus Parks]

Now. Should we be smelling our wives butts more?

[Henry Zebrowski]

I do smell them.

[Marcus Parks]

I have. Really? Yeah. You get in there.

[Henry Zebrowski]

You never just lay your head on your wife's butt while she's laying on the couch or something.

[Marcus Parks]

She doesn't lay on her stomach.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Flip her over.

[Marcus Parks]

I'm a lap man. I put my head on her lap.

[Henry Zebrowski]

But now they got a lot of colloidal silver and stuff on the pants.

[Marcus Parks]

Oh, I like it when she like, rubs my hair and like. Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to touch on that.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah. Oh, you. I wear a hat to bed. All right, I want to talk about this. Yeah, I don't know. I'm sorry we went for mc. It's just hard because it's the. We. I'm just. You know, again, my father's funeral this weekend, so I read a lot about Jeffrey Epstein. Yeah, it really fuels me.

[Marcus Parks]

It's good, it's good. You got to channel that energy.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Really feels.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Here we go. We got this other. Let's. This one last story. This is a really up story.

[Marcus Parks]

All right. Yeah. Oh, the, the. The. The Arkansas one.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yes. A man and a woman who recently moved to northwest Arkansas. They were.

[Marcus Parks]

No one does that, by the way.

[Henry Zebrowski]

It's. Don't do that. They were brutally murdered on a hiking trail. Clinton David Brink, 43, and Kristen Amanda Brink, 41. They had just moved into town. They were. They were hiking and a man attacked them. Long sleeve shirt and like he wasn't wearing a mask. It was a white dude, smaller guy. Stabbed them brutally to death in front of their children. Their children ran to go to the park rangers. They stopped them. They happened. So like, we don't know who the guy is. We don't who did this. We don't. We. So we don't know why he did it. We don't know who they. They knew no one. They had just moved into the neighborhood. They were just avid hikers. They were brutally attacked. No one knows whether or not it was staged or not, or if it was planned ahead of time or if they were trying to kill the entire family because the kids escaped.

[Marcus Parks]

Who are the people? What did they do for a living?

[Henry Zebrowski]

They were just. Just normal ass people. Like they. No information. They. We don't know what he quite stabbed them with. We know that they were just. They truly were just normal. They. They just were. They moved there, I guess because it was an affordable part. They'd move from Miles City, Montana.

[Marcus Parks]

This is such a crazy job. It's like barely being reported on.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Well, it's because right now there is not a heck of a lot of information, but we have a very specific angle. So they were murdered in a place called Devil's Den. Now, Devil's Den State park is also for those of you that are big last podcast on the left. Listeners know for the fact that it is also the site of the alien abduction of Terry Lovelace.

[Marcus Parks]

Oh, we're back in the aliens.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Right, back in aliens. So all of this all happened at the same time.

[Marcus Parks]

I'm not privy to this story. Can you give me a quick one?

[Henry Zebrowski]

Terry Lovelace wrote a book called the Incident in Devil's Den. Now this is the reason why it's so interesting is that it was 1977. He was abducted by what he can only describe as two giant monkey people.

[Marcus Parks]

Okay.

[Henry Zebrowski]

He said that he woke up in the middle of the night while he was camping to see four gray two foot tall monkeys with large yellow eyes, long arms and tails. After staring at him with broad grins for a while, they said, this is according to Terry, come play with us. We'll have fun. So they spoke English and we'll take you back home in just a little while. Yeah, there were monkeys. They were aliens. Oh, now. But you know, believe the man. But you know what you're going to do? You know what you're gonna do. Yeah, tell us. Great. So he went with these fister made fun of him a. He was a young man. He said he hid under the couch and he waited until she was on the phone. He was so freaked out, he. That he. He made his sister wet her pants.

[Marcus Parks]

Well, that's cool.

[Henry Zebrowski]

When Terry's father could.

[Marcus Parks]

Usually, usually when I get scared, I wet my own pants. It's like that's, that's just weird. But like it's osmosisly wet someone else's pants.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Well, I mean that's what the butt sniffers got to do.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I just pissed your pants. Wow. Yes. Because he did write this poem. That's right. The nightmares returned. He had a nightmares of big insect like things that were in his words, manipulating tools with long thin fingers. Oh yeah, he wrote a poem. Shadows from the hallway crept into my room. Long. The monkey men too, I assume. Never before in life had I seen a creature that grinned. Before I could scream. A candle's flame dances before it grows dim.

[Marcus Parks]

Him.

[Henry Zebrowski]

One monkey man shadow had slowly crept in on his knees and with ease. He is perched on the edge of my bed, if you please. The silence was broken 1 inch from my ear as the monkey man whispered, my boy, I'm right here. So that's the thing that I don't know. Whether or not this guy's one of the monkey men, we don't know. And we might not ever know.

[Marcus Parks]

So the back to the. The. The couple that was killed.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Oh, you want to talk about the real story?

[Marcus Parks]

The real story?

[Henry Zebrowski]

Oh, sure.

[Marcus Parks]

They are. They do have a person of interest. They have a picture of them.

[Henry Zebrowski]

They do.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. They got this guy. It's his back, unfortunately.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Whoa.

[Marcus Parks]

But this is the guy. It's a white dude. Here's the. Here's the sketch of his face. He's just like a regular ass looking white dude.

[Henry Zebrowski]

He looks like Gary Sinise.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. And oh my God.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Where's Gary Sidice? Oh my God. Gary Sidice. Where does he live? Live?

[Marcus Parks]

I mean the real crime is he's wearing fingerless gloves.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Oh, wow. Yeah. How do you. Wow. You know what's weird is that when you typed in where does Gary. Immediately autocorrected to where does Gary Sinis live?

[Marcus Parks]

Oh, really?

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah. Calabas.

[Marcus Parks]

Lots of people are asking.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Calabasas, California. He.

[Marcus Parks]

I bet he does well in Calabasas. That seems like the right town for him.

[Henry Zebrowski]

He seems like a nice man.

[Marcus Parks]

I bet he's wonderful. He does a lot for soldiers.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Can't believe he's got it. I couldn't believe when I saw him. He has legs. Can't believe it.

[Marcus Parks]

He was wearing tall green socks though. So we knew that he was ready for action.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yes.

[Marcus Parks]

If he ever had to be Lieutenant Dan, you know.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Two seconds, a computer make my legs disappear. Yeah, Give me two seconds. I'LL take. I'll do it with an ax.

[Marcus Parks]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

So this is the story. This is all we know so far. It is a very haunting story. It's really up because they just were just straight up thrill killed. And no one should be thrill killed while hiking. If I'm gonna get thrill killed, I hope I'm at the dentist. Why does it never happen there?

[Marcus Parks]

You're. I mean, there's too many other people there.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I mean, that's kind of in the.

[Marcus Parks]

Middle of the woods. You're gonna thrill kill someone. You kill him in the woods.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Well, did you see the story about the guy who stabbed like 10 people in a Walmart?

[Marcus Parks]

Yes.

[Henry Zebrowski]

That's a up story. And he didn't wait to be in private.

[Marcus Parks]

Everyone lived.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Whoa. He just stabbed a bunch of people in wheelchairs. That's. That's too easy.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. Come on, bro.

[Henry Zebrowski]

You know, dude, you got to be careful with that, man. If I was in a wheelchair too, I'd be. I'm. Why are there no souped up wheelchairs? There are no, like, why is there no like straight up, like high level Escalade versions of wheelchairs?

[Marcus Parks]

I mean, I get. I bet there is.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I've looked this up many times and I've seen nothing. I want a full on body armor capable set up. I want to be able to get up to 45 miles per hour, multiple mediums of thing. I want to be able to go through like highway to street to mud.

[Marcus Parks]

I mean, look at these. Look at this one right here. This one's got, it's got some treads on it.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I've seen the treads. Yeah, our buddy, he's got the treads.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. But this one's cool. He's got. He put some flames on the side.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Of it, but he didn't like the treads. But why are they not. The rest of it's not more souped up. Why isn't there ones with more like, like temperature control? Like, more like stuff like that. Like you put like, you can temperature control.

[Marcus Parks]

You have to put a. A roof on it.

[Henry Zebrowski]

That'd be cool. Why are there no more mini chairs with roofs on them, like little cubes?

[Marcus Parks]

I mean, that should be cool. I mean, look at this one.

[Henry Zebrowski]

That's awesome. Yeah, that's a classic. We see. Oh, yeah. Who's doing that? Oh, that's Ferrari.

[Marcus Parks]

Wow.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Do you have to buy a Ferrari wheelchair first though? Is it one of those where you have to get like four or five wheelchairs? I think these are just AI imaginations. Unfortun get that out of here.

[Marcus Parks]

Get that out of here.

[Henry Zebrowski]

They're pretty cool, man.

[Marcus Parks]

What the fuck?

[Henry Zebrowski]

Why isn't that happening, though? That should be a thing.

[Marcus Parks]

I got to tell you this, Henry, you're not going to like to hear it. People don't like the handicapped. People don't, like, want to help them.

[Henry Zebrowski]

We love the handicapped.

[Marcus Parks]

We love the handicapped. Yes, because they're human beings. But I think there is a whole. The world does not like people who are disabled.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I just feel like we're leaving money on the table here.

[Marcus Parks]

That we are.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I feel like there's a way to upsell anybody.

[Marcus Parks]

Do I smell? Last podcast on the left, wheelchair.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Oh, my God.

[Marcus Parks]

Coming to the merch page.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Last podcast on the left collabs with Miata.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

To make a scream chair. Oh, the scream chair. You'll scream your way all the way to the doctor's office. Oh, yeah. You're gonna be. Oh, I've ever wanted to get to the local wheelchair tire place. And under seven minutes, man.

[Marcus Parks]

I remember my grandfather's rascal. He could really get that thing up, dude. He could really get that thing cooking. He would bring it over drawbridges and he took it on, like, real roads.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I love that. That's what I'm saying. Give it some cover. Give it, like, some enclosure. Let's get this thing up to 55.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. Oh, yeah. No, but you could really. You could already get the ones that work, you know, pretty good. You can take those places higher.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I want also. Where's my. Where's my Wario chair? Where's my eggman chair? That flies? Where's my hover chair?

[Marcus Parks]

We don't have hover cars.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Why can't they have hover chairs?

[Marcus Parks]

I guess you start with chairs.

[Henry Zebrowski]

How easy would it be? Just one guy.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Flop them up there. And then if you. If you're using a wheelchair, your legs are not going to weigh as much as your top. It's not like me or I'm thick all the way through.

[Marcus Parks]

Well, you know, you're not thick all the way through.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I'm just saying in terms of, like, you could get it up there easier. Right?

[Marcus Parks]

You're right.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Right.

[Marcus Parks]

I think we can get you up there.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Side stories. LPOTL gmail.com. where's our Hover chairs?

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, where are the hover chairs, folks?

[Henry Zebrowski]

Look at that guy. He's standing on a drone. That's not a hover chair. He's standing. That's kind of robotniky, though, I think, dude. But you're looking That's Green Goblin like. But also, you're looking at him flying around, and it's guy who's capable enough to stand. He should be sitting.

[Marcus Parks]

You know, if. If Stephen Hawking didn't have a special. Too special of a chair, I just.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Think because he was. Was. He didn't want to brag. Oh, yeah, yeah. I think he was humble.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. One thing I know about Stephen Hawking, very humble.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Humble. I just think that he wasn't ready for it. Whoa, that's awesome. Is he really sitting on that drone? Looks like it. Awesome. That's what I want. Whoa, he's sitting on like, it's a deboggin. Yeah, that's awesome. That's like. That's cool.

[Marcus Parks]

That's like a motorcycle drone.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I want to fucking. I just want to terrorize people for good.

[Marcus Parks]

You can go to the Barnes and Noble, sniff some butts.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Oh, no, I don't want to sniff. Now we know it's a crime.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I dare you to sniff my dick. Yeah. You don't got that.

[Marcus Parks]

Everyone's just like, all right, sure, okay, I'll sniff your dick.

[Henry Zebrowski]

All right, let's get some loves.

[Marcus Parks]

Like, yeah.

[Laci Mosley]

What's poppin, listeners? I'm Lacy Mosley, host of the podcast Scam Goddess, the show that's an ode to fraud and all those who are who practice it. Each week, I talk with very special guests about the scammiest scammers of all time. Wanna know about the fake errors? We got em. What about a career con man? We've got them too, guys that will wine and dine you and then steal all your coins. Oh, you know they are represented. Cause representation matters. I'm joined by guests like Nicole Byer, Ira Madison iii, Conan o', Brien, and more. Join the congregation and listen to Scam Goddess wherever you get your podcast.

[Henry Zebrowski]

These statements have not been reviewed by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. Hello, everyone. For all of you who suffer from calcium oxalate stones, here is some free tip. 1. Drink plenty of water.

[Marcus Parks]

It takes a lot of water to.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Dilute and pass the substances that lead to stones. Modify your diet. You'll need to limit sodium. Cut your meat. Tired of difficult lifestyle changes that often don't work if you suffer from calcium oxalate stones. Now there's health help. Kidney Cop. Calcium oxalate protector. Add kidney cop to your routine as a way to potentially reduce or even stop the formation of calcium oxalate stones. Kidney Cop is a dietary supplement developed by doctors and pharmacists. It's been proven in laboratory tests to reduce the rate of calcium oxalate crystal growth by 99%. That's right, 99%. Just take kidney Cop. Satisfaction guaranteed or your money back. You can purchase affordable Kidney Cop today by visiting Amazon.com, walmart.com or kidneycop.com yes, you can start enjoying life again. Purchase [e-mail] Walmart.com or kidneycop.com today at RXBar.

[Marcus Parks]

They believe in simple nutrition without the BS. That's why they said NO to artificial ingredients and yes to deliver intentional transparent nutrition.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Try their original 12 gram protein bar.

[Marcus Parks]

The Nut Butter and Oat bar or Minis RXBar, the proud sponsor of no BS.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Use code RXBar on RXBar.com for 25% off, subject to full terms and conditions and to change. Valid until 9-30-30, 2025 and may not.

[Marcus Parks]

Be combined with other offers.

[Henry Zebrowski]

See rxbar.com for full details and limitations. Let's get some listener emails Now. We're gonna keep. We have a new Stinger. Obviously. We've been trying to do new Stingers, but we like the one last week from so much we're just gonna replay.

[Marcus Parks]

We're gonna play it again.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yep.

[Marcus Parks]

Damn.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah. Yes. Wow.

[Marcus Parks]

God damn. I want to hear some emails.

[Henry Zebrowski]

So good. I wish wish the emails were as good as the Sting. Now I will say yeah, right.

[Marcus Parks]

The dude who wrote that song. Who's that guy?

[Henry Zebrowski]

That's Dakota. Rol.

[Marcus Parks]

Write some emails.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

So good at this.

[Henry Zebrowski]

So good.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. Let's see some emails.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I would like to first say I I'll say this truly. If you're looking to have your father be buried on a weekend, have him be buried on the same weekend that a legendary dad rock man has also died. Because having my father go into the ground at the same time as Ozzy Osbourne's death was such a great moment for me in terms of music because it was just so amazing to rock. No more tears on the way to the funeral, dude.

[Marcus Parks]

Because I see you. I see you on the other side, dude.

[Henry Zebrowski]

See, no more tears. Like it sucked up. It made me feel strong about death.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

So first thing I got here is whales, whaling, Japan. Right. Everyone's saying it's not good.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah. So pretty much everybody have said they have. Eddie was right to defend, to fight against it. Everyone's basically saying so.

[Marcus Parks]

Because I was really nervous about how hard I came for the Japanese. I was like oh, no. Am I going to get killed for this?

[Henry Zebrowski]

No. Mostly people understand that it's an antiquated historical tradition that they do in Japan. There's a lot of people. I found it interesting. They said people like, if you work in Japanese businesses. They found that people were getting disappointed because one of the big things that they, I guess they would do for like one of traditional ways, ways to celebrate somebody who's retiring is to take them to a whale meat restaurant. Like, that's like a very traditional celebration. And that now that they're closing most of the whale meat restaurants.

[Marcus Parks]

Whale meat gets you sick.

[Henry Zebrowski]

But the thing is, everyone's just saying too. It's like, it's not even just that. It's like. It's just that it's gross. Is that whale me? It's just really gross. But it's like considered a traditional celebratory meal. So people get upset when these restaurants are getting closed. But it's also known no one's eating there because the food's gross. The food looks horrible. Whale meat looks disgusting.

[Marcus Parks]

We're not supposed to eat it.

[Henry Zebrowski]

No, it's just not for us.

[Marcus Parks]

It's mercury.

[Henry Zebrowski]

It's bad for us. It just. I know. It is just a very much a. It's a tradition there that hopefully one day will stop. But it's just hard because it's connected to their national identity and they don't want to get rid of it.

[Marcus Parks]

But it seems national identity getting sick.

[Henry Zebrowski]

It's because there's certain old ways, things that they're their. That their country. It's like. Because, like, you know, the. The Imperial family is still like vaguely important in Japan and certain things like that where they've already to, in their view, succumbed to the west enough. So they don't want to erase many of their traditional things, but it just feels like this one could probably go.

[Marcus Parks]

It's just like, you're like clearly wrong here.

[Henry Zebrowski]

It's just, it's. They just are. It's a political thing. They bring it up in election cycles. Apparently this is like their version of. It's like. I don't know if this is a fair equation, but it seems to say abortion. No, no, no. To like, like daylight savings time.

[Marcus Parks]

Okay.

[Henry Zebrowski]

You know how like every election cycle somebody, one of the candidates says, and I'll get rid of daylight saving time. And they just never do it.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Because Benjamin Franklin came up with it. No one wants to with them. Oh, that's like kind of what it is, man.

[Marcus Parks]

So, so, so what are they going to do. So no one's going to fucking get rid of the whale meat killing.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Nope. It just seems like continuing on it's.

[Marcus Parks]

Just going to go bad. Yep. No one wants to buy it.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Nothing changes. There's a. It is just what they are going to going to do. They're. And that's. And we can't stop them. Eddie.

[Marcus Parks]

But I know that they got the restaurants and stuff like that but what about the non discriminate killing? The ones that's just done for the culling for no reason and they just leave the bodies.

[Henry Zebrowski]

That's a part of the. Their historical tradition and it just. Someone is going to have to change that one day. One day there will have to a big enough mandate within the country that it changes which it seems to be getting there. So we'll see.

[Marcus Parks]

Donate to Sea Shepherd. Fuck these motherfuckers.

[Henry Zebrowski]

You know that's just don't.

[Marcus Parks]

Do you think that's why they killed the Prime Minister?

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yes, I think it was a whale. Yep. I would also just say just, you know, when you go to Japan don't eat it.

[Marcus Parks]

Certainly. I really want to go to Japan.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I was offered it in Iceland.

[Marcus Parks]

Whale.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

Really? Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

It looked gross so I didn't eat it. Yeah. They just stopped. Stopped doing it over there. Commercial whale fishing in Iceland. But it's still around.

[Marcus Parks]

Just bring that up to me.

[Henry Zebrowski]

But the meat's around.

[Marcus Parks]

I know but when we were in Iceland together you didn't be like hey yeah, there's a whale restaurant over there. You don't want to. I'm surprised you didn't think I would want to eat it.

[Henry Zebrowski]

It's because truly because of everything I had read about it. That it was so gross.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

That it's like there's no point in both feeling bad and it having. Being. Having it being disgusting.

[Marcus Parks]

What was the new animal we ate there that we loved?

[Henry Zebrowski]

Reindeer. Yes. If I could.

[Marcus Parks]

I have no love for a reindeer.

[Henry Zebrowski]

If I could I would kill any reindee that I saw. And I've eaten now and what's funny is now I've eaten American reindeer or like I've had it in America. The Iceland reindeer.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Is so specifically good. It's got like fattiness in it.

[Marcus Parks]

I was.

[Henry Zebrowski]

It's like so tasty. I hope that Santa's gotta take a cab next year.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I want to eat every one of them. I don't want. I want there to be nothing but antlers left.

[Marcus Parks]

I want to be shits and Blitzen.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yep. I want to be. I want to Do. I don't want to just spray my ass, but I want to just spray my toilet with Comet. The cleaning stuff.

[Marcus Parks]

That's right.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I want to do it with Comet himself Now. Got a lot of responses about bosses with guns.

[Marcus Parks]

Oh, I'm very interested in this. What? Is there any good ones?

[Henry Zebrowski]

I love these. When I was 19 years old, they set a new job job at a local concrete construction company. Since I'm new, I'm paired up with one of my fellow employees. A no teeth having good old boy. My job is to pretty much do whatever he says, follow him around and help him out. Great job. Oh yeah. One day I show up to work. A no teeth co worker asks me how I feel about killing cats. I politely let him know I'm not a fan. He takes me to his truck, pulls out a revolver, two Glocks, two Ars and tells me the task today is to kill the stray cats hanging around the shop. I convince him to not kill the cats. He takes me into the woods. We shoot trees instead. I end up part of the job on the clock. Hey. I ended up trapping all the cats and dropping them off at a local dump sites around the county. So to answer your question, where does your boss keep the guns? In the back of the truck covered with a blanket. See that's the thing is that I love this guy because he also just wanted to shoot the guns. He was dissuaded from killing by just being like, well, can't literally shoot the guns. And they're like yes. So I. That's a. We're seeing some of the solution right there. We're seeing some of it right there. And he said same dude once had a porn titled Cleaning my play over his car Bluetooth while I was in the car with him.

[Marcus Parks]

Oh, interesting.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Cleaning my cunt is not. That's a hat.

[Marcus Parks]

I mean if you're calling it your probably needs to be cleaned.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Hey. Or you need to have some respect for your yourself. Yeah. So someone here just says I also got some push back about Dan Marino.

[Marcus Parks]

Oh, of course, people, you know, there's. There's Jet fans out there.

[Henry Zebrowski]

There are a lot of people saying one someone saying that this is honestly one of the crueler terms I've seen, which is Dan Marino is not the greatest quarterback of all time. He didn't unreal stat padding stretch from 84 through 88.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, it was unbelievable. He was the best. It was one of the best runs someone could have.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Where they view it as a fluke. After 1986, he never threw for more than 30 touchdowns in the season. After 85, he only won. He only had with a completion percentage above 60% five times.

[Marcus Parks]

What's wrong with that?

[Henry Zebrowski]

Just change it at all. Oh, yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

This was to be the year Dan.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Marino, 11 year veteran quarterback, was to.

[Marcus Parks]

Surpass 290 career touchdowns, 3,200 completions and 40,000 passing yards.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Well, maybe next year, but you can't keep this guy out of the game. No, he did a blockbuster. No wonder he thought he Blockbuster. Can I please play now, Doug?

[Marcus Parks]

Sorry, I just went into overtime.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Stay in the game with Blockbuster and set some records of your own. Wow. So he did do a Blockbuster.

[Marcus Parks]

So he did a Blockbuster commercial.

[Henry Zebrowski]

That's very interesting. He works for them. Wow. He did. He works there.

[Marcus Parks]

Of course he thought he could skip.

[Henry Zebrowski]

The line, but people also got.

[Marcus Parks]

You worked there if you're doing the commercial. What's the point? That's a perk. You probably shouldn't even have to go to the store.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Someone should have.

[Marcus Parks]

They should have invented Netflix for him back then. So he could have called the store and they brought it to his house.

[Henry Zebrowski]

All I know is I got an email from someone who worked at Borders and they said Richard Dreyfus always waited online.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. And look where Borders is now.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Wow.

[Marcus Parks]

You know, a lot of people say they want open borders. Richard Dr. We all know that Barnes and Nobles is doing a fine job.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Richard Dreyfus, professional and known crank.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Even he waited online.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. It's because he needs something to about.

[Henry Zebrowski]

No, but that's, you know. But you know, that's what I'm saying. A lot of people resonated with me, me saying celebrities should let the power of their. Their magnanimy be shown.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. And I'm saying Dan Marino is a God. He's not a celebrity.

[Henry Zebrowski]

This is called you help him. Toxic fandom.

[Marcus Parks]

It's not toxic fandom.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Toxic fandom.

[Marcus Parks]

No, it's practical.

[Henry Zebrowski]

He doesn't care what Dan Marino's done.

[Marcus Parks]

If Dan Marino would have stayed in that store any longer, a crowd would have formed and the whole thing would have shut down. They wouldn't have rented any videos. It would have become a big autograph signing.

[Henry Zebrowski]

We'll see. It didn't sound like it was though. Wedding. But this is not the last. I'm just hoping that Dan Marino maybe can come on the show.

[Marcus Parks]

Oh, my God.

[Henry Zebrowski]

And clear this up.

[Marcus Parks]

I would love.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Because right now, as far as I'm concerned, he's a villain and he needs to be.

[Marcus Parks]

Not a villain. He's a hero.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I think he's a villain and needs.

[Marcus Parks]

He's the biggest hero.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Cancelled?

[Marcus Parks]

What are you talking about? You can't cancel Dan Marino.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Line gate is starting now. Line gate, lion gate is starting right now.

[Marcus Parks]

He should have had a. I'll tell you the real L gate. He didn't have a good enough offensive line for the second half of his career.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Laces out, Dan.

[Marcus Parks]

That's right.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Laces out.

[Marcus Parks]

The man is in one of their most popular videos.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I'm just saying let him skip the line. You know how much money Blockbuster made.

[Marcus Parks]

Off of Ace Ventura? Personally rented it like 20 times.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Damarino has the the right now he has the room to break his silence.

[Marcus Parks]

What do you mean break his silence?

[Henry Zebrowski]

Hashtag line gate.

[Marcus Parks]

He doesn't have to do anything. I was time for Dan, if you want to come by.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I would love to have you by right now. To me, the silence is deafening.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

And I think that the silent. The only thing less of the crowd saying silence is deafening. Break the silence so we can hear something.

[Marcus Parks]

I mean, I don't even know. I'm happy he cut the line.

[Henry Zebrowski]

How many people break. I'm so sick of the term break silence. It makes me so fucking deeply pissed off.

[Marcus Parks]

Silence is deafening, is aggravating. I'm now using it when I want to piss people off.

[Henry Zebrowski]

That's why I did it to you. Your silence is deafening.

[Marcus Parks]

Yes, but Dan Marino's not silent. He's a commentator.

[Henry Zebrowski]

No, I know.

[Marcus Parks]

He used to be.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah. DM him and tell him to come on last podcast on the left. His dm, dude. Dm. DM the dm, man. Mark, can you. Here, lift up. Can you open up your phone right now and DM him?

[Marcus Parks]

I could do phone with him. I didn't bring my phone. Well, let me see. I don't think he's on Instagram.

[Henry Zebrowski]

He is. Yeah, man. Dan13marino.

[Marcus Parks]

Am I not following Dan Marino?

[Henry Zebrowski]

Are you not following Dan Marino? He's got his business inquiries on here. Should I. Oh, yeah, yeah, definitely. We should ask him about how he. How he is reacting.

[Marcus Parks]

I am following Dan Marino.

[Henry Zebrowski]

We should ask him how he's reacting to the current rise of allegations of his improper behavior in the 90s? No, just say that. No, just start with that. How do you respond? How do you respond to accusations against you? Allegations. Allegations of improper behavior.

[Marcus Parks]

There are no allegations. He was acting the way he should.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I'm just saying. Don't. Don't tell him. What for? Just say gations of activities in the 90s.

[Marcus Parks]

Wow, Henry, you have More followers than Dan Marino?

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah, I do. Wow. Yeah, I do. That's up yourself. Followers. Kidding.

[Marcus Parks]

You have more Instagram followers than Dan Marino?

[Henry Zebrowski]

It's pretty cool. See? Why aren't you nervous with me? He's verified.

[Marcus Parks]

He's verified.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Verified. Seriously though, if we hit him with the gations, I bet you we get our email back.

[Marcus Parks]

All right, I'm unfollowing you, Henry.

[Henry Zebrowski]

You can't unfollow me.

[Marcus Parks]

I just did.

[Henry Zebrowski]

No, you got to follow me back.

[Marcus Parks]

No, I can't follow you back.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Why?

[Marcus Parks]

I just unfollowed you. Somebody unconce your words. Consequences insulting me. I'm saying that now. I don't want your information.

[Henry Zebrowski]

You. You want me put a basket of my father's junk in the grass.

[Marcus Parks]

All right, I followed you back. Thank you. Now you're unfollowed. All right, maybe I'll just restrict you. Yeah, restrict me. Restrict me.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Listen, you'll never. You'll never see PR guy hit you faster if you hit him with that gations word, man. No, I mean, that's how we start booking.

[Marcus Parks]

All right, first of all, that's what.

[Henry Zebrowski]

We should have did with Ari Aster.

[Marcus Parks]

We can't.

[Henry Zebrowski]

He did Mark Marin, though. Guys, we gotta start doing that. He did Mark Marin. We gotta start doing.

[Marcus Parks]

Doesn't even have a show anymore. It's like I quit. And then he's got like three months of shows. He didn't quit. No, he's still got new episodes coming out.

[Henry Zebrowski]

He's a liar. Another liar. That's why every day, man, I. I get out there and I live knowing that I expose liars. Expose every day with the lamplight of truth. And we all love the fact that I'm the strongest man in the goddamn continental United States of America. And I'm the only person willing to stand up to the current administration, also stick up for sniffers everywhere. Okay, and I'm going to laugh the fact that everyone's going to be angry at me.

[Marcus Parks]

All right, because we didn't stick up for the sniffer.

[Henry Zebrowski]

We didn't.

[Marcus Parks]

You just did, though.

[Henry Zebrowski]

No, but I mean to you piece.

[Marcus Parks]

Of the way you talk about Dan Marino in front of me, I want.

[Henry Zebrowski]

You to understand that what I've decided to do is much like Batman. You understood that it's more than just being Bruce Wayne in a costume, that he's a symbol. Yeah, that's me.

[Marcus Parks]

This guy's sitting here talkingly working at Borders.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Too real is bigger than Henry Zabowski.

[Marcus Parks]

Who gives a about Richard Dreyfus?

[Henry Zebrowski]

People Some people do. Jaws is your favorite film.

[Marcus Parks]

I love Jaws. And you know. Know what? If I was working somewhere and Richard Dreyfus was standing there, I'd be like, hey, Richard, would you like to cut the line? You can cut the entire line.

[Henry Zebrowski]

That's what should. Dan Marino should have waited for. Oh, that's what I'm saying.

[Marcus Parks]

Using my words against me. Damn. Reno shouldn't have to wait for it. He just walks up to the front, you take care of him, and you move on. He's busy.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah, he just. With what?

[Marcus Parks]

His family?

[Henry Zebrowski]

He's over now. It's over. His family's dead.

[Marcus Parks]

His family's not dead.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I mean, they're. They're all older.

[Marcus Parks]

He has extra family that's appearing out of nowhere. He has a child on a wet lock. I mean, he's got places to be.

[Henry Zebrowski]

That's what happens when you make wedlock. Wetlock.

[Marcus Parks]

Oh, is it wedlock? Yeah, it's not wetlock. What does wedlock even mean?

[Henry Zebrowski]

You know, I was wetlock.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. It means being married.

[Henry Zebrowski]

It means we married out of wedlock means having a baby or having sex outside of marriage.

[Marcus Parks]

Oh, I thought you just, like, slipped into someone's vagina because it was wet.

[Henry Zebrowski]

That's having a baby. I'm out of the wet lock and into the. I'm out of the wet lock and into the. It would be out of the dry lock and into the wet line.

[Marcus Parks]

That's where. Yeah, that's a good idea.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Wet lock. I can't. Joint. Jointing.

[Marcus Parks]

Oh, by the way, this came from a Vikings fan.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Someone.

[Marcus Parks]

This means nothing. Somebody's. This means absolutely not Vikings. They're just mad because they tried to court Dan Marino when he retired. They wanted him to be a Viking. And he's like, nah, I'm not going to move to Minnesota.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah. And the Vikings so wisely also hired Brit far after the scandal.

[Marcus Parks]

Yes.

[Henry Zebrowski]

You know, I know, but Eddie, I.

[Marcus Parks]

He's a rapist.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I think it's.

[Marcus Parks]

Dolphins are, too.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Wow. I really think that it's funny that people have named us as, like, references in their, like, college thesises, like, PhD programs. That's disgusting. Let's go to patreon.com lastpodcast on the left to watch us do this the right way, the old school way.

[Marcus Parks]

Rob, go back to that.

[Henry Zebrowski]

He's enjoying that television program. He's just looking at pictures of Dan Marino's Instagram account. Just do this on your phone. You can do this on your. You can do this at a light.

[Marcus Parks]

I like it on the Big screen. No.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Do this at a light on your way home.

[Marcus Parks]

Oh, there he is with the goose.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Wow. Big guy.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, we lost a great one.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Go to NLP on the left for all the social. Go see our new YouTube channels.

[Marcus Parks]

Oh, Jesus, Henry.

[Henry Zebrowski]

At LPN TV. Someplace underneath. It'll be in Romantasy on the Foreign Report. You want to go check it out? Wherever you can get your YouTubes. It's on YouTube.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. You're dying.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yep.

[Marcus Parks]

Come and see us live, Henry and I got some shows coming up. On September 21st. We're going to be in Kansas City, Missouri, at the truman. On Friday, October 24, Redway, California, at the Matteo Community Center. I'm telling you, if you're ever going to travel for a show, that's the one. The redwoods are beautiful. And if you are a fan of marijuana, it might be at that show.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah, it's going to be awesome. And you can experience joy firsthand.

[Marcus Parks]

Now, who is Joy?

[Henry Zebrowski]

Some.

[Marcus Parks]

That's right. Sunday, November 30th, Columbus, Ohio. We're going to be at the Newport Music Hall. And of course, please come to my show, Dead Men Tell Some Tales, A dark dive into Disney history. That's going to be at the Elysian Theater.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah. Go watch eddie get himself 21st. Go watch him get Strict from the. The Allowable List person list.

[Marcus Parks]

Oh, my God. If they don't let me into Disney anymore because of the show, I'm coming to Dan Marino's house.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

That's going to be my new Disneyland.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Oh, okay. I thought you were to, like, kill him or something.

[Marcus Parks]

No, I'm going to hang out.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Dan Marino, he's on his way.

[Marcus Parks]

I'm going to ride his rides.

[Henry Zebrowski]

So if you don't want to break your silence about the allegations against you.

[Marcus Parks]

We're buddies.

[Henry Zebrowski]

We're going to see what happens.

[Marcus Parks]

Dan Marino, he signed a personal autograph for me.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I know he remembers.

[Marcus Parks]

I snuck. I snuck under the. I snuck under the. The thing.

[Henry Zebrowski]

If he doesn't remember he has other children. He'll definitely remember.

[Marcus Parks]

I think he remembered the other children.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah. Came crawling looking for that. Not super bowl money.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. For first. His contract was super bowl contract. That's a big old contract. By the way, this one person here, I really got to talk to them. They said in this, in their email here, it says, Ed has never seen the Dolphins win a Super Bowl. He's like. He's like, here are some facts. And Ed has never seen the Dolphins win a Super Bowl. His fondest memories of a Dolphins as a Dolphins fan are his parents generation fondly reminiscing about the 70. Those aren't my fondest memories. I don't, I don't. I don't care about the the greatest team that ever played football.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I think we're have to wrap it up, you know.

[Marcus Parks]

I know my fondest memories are watching Dan Marino fake spike against the the jets and then winning in the last second. That's one of my fondest memories. And also John Alfred all. No one's coming for him. He's the great. He's really the greatest dolphin. So. So anyway, what are we doing?

[Henry Zebrowski]

We all know for a fact the greatest dolphin was Flipper. Thank you everyone. We're going to see you next week.

[Marcus Parks]

Flipper wasn't even his name.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Hail Satan. He committed suicide on my birthday.

[Marcus Parks]

That's right. Hail Damarino. Every day for the rest of my life. I get sick of this shit.

[Henry Zebrowski]

You wish. I have a book for you, Eddie Joy.

[Marcus Parks]

Every contracted muscle, every frozen area of the body holds impulses of anger that is fundamentally the aggression needed to restore the integrity of freedom. This is you. I love you, dad. And I will see you home.

[Laci Mosley]

What's poppin listeners? I'm Laci Mosley, host of the podcast Scam Goddess. The show that's an ode to fraud and all those who practice it. Each week I talk with very special guests about the scammiest scammers of all time. Wanna know about the Facebook? We got em. What about a career con man? We've got them too. Guys that will wine and dine you and then steal all your coins. Oh, you know, they are represented because representation matters. I'm joined by guests like Nicole Byer, Ira Madison iii, Conan o' Brien and more. Join the congregation and listen to Scam Goddess. Wherever you get your podcasts, you're not at your house.

[Marcus Parks]

You're at a lavish seaside estate.

[Henry Zebrowski]

You're not walking the dog.

[Laci Mosley]

You're hunting for clues in an Agatha Christie mystery.

[Henry Zebrowski]

See it differently with Britbox Stream an.

[Marcus Parks]

Endlessly entertaining collection of British tv, including new original series Ludwig, starring David Mitchell. Bit awkward really. I think I might just have solved a murder. And Outrageous.

[Henry Zebrowski]

A scandalous true story.

[Marcus Parks]

Seems there's a political extremist in every family these days. See it differently when you stream the best of British TV with BritBox.