Side Stories: The R Train - Last Podcast On The Left

Summary6 min read

Last Podcast on the Left – Episode Summary: Side Stories: The R Train

Release Date: April 30, 2025
Hosts: The Last Podcast Network (Henry Zebrowski and Marcus Parks)

Episode Overview

In the episode titled "Side Stories: The R Train," Last Podcast on the Left delves into a myriad of unsettling and bizarre true crime stories. Hosted by Henry Zebrowski and Marcus Parks, the episode seamlessly transitions between personal anecdotes, discussions on high-profile criminal cases, and peculiar incidents that highlight the darker facets of human behavior. This summary captures the essence of the episode, highlighting key discussions, insights, and notable quotes to provide listeners with a comprehensive understanding of the content.

1. Personal Updates and Birthday Celebrations

The episode opens with the hosts exchanging birthday greetings, marking Henry Zebrowski’s 41st birthday. Their lighthearted banter sets a casual tone for the episode.

Marcus Parks [01:01]: “Happy birthday week.”
Henry Zebrowski [01:15]: “But I've been sick for days.”

The conversation quickly shifts to their recent activities, including playing Baldur's Gate 3 and discussing personal relationships within the game, providing listeners with a relatable and humorous interlude.

2. Jillian Shiner and the Samuel Little Case

A significant portion of the episode focuses on Jillian Shiner, the wife of Weezer bassist Scott Shiner, and her involvement in the true crime community, particularly concerning serial killer Samuel Little.

Henry Zebrowski [06:17]: “Jillian Shiner was doing some really, really great work within the true crime community.”

Shiner's investigative efforts allegedly led to Samuel Little’s confession, where he claimed to have a photographic memory that helped him recall details of his crimes against sex workers. The hosts discuss the reliability of Little's confessions and the impact of Shiner’s work.

Marcus Parks [07:00]: “He's a serial killer of sex workers.”

Despite Shiner’s commendable efforts, Zebrowski expresses skepticism about the depth of information available on Little’s case, highlighting the limitations of their discussions.

3. Police Use of Force and Jillian Shiner Incident

The episode transitions to a controversial incident involving Jillian Shiner and the police during a high-speed chase in Los Angeles. Shiner inserted herself into the situation, armed and confrontational, leading to a fatal shootout captured on body cameras.

Henry Zebrowski [08:58]: “She made a... she was very much in charge of her yard.”

The hosts debate the appropriateness of police responses in such scenarios, criticizing both Shiner’s actions and the officers’ handling of the situation. They explore themes of police training and the thin line between self-defense and excessive force.

Marcus Parks [09:47]: “They are supposed to riddle you with bullets.”

Zebrowski and Parks discuss the complexities of armed civilians interacting with law enforcement, stressing the unpredictability and potential dangers inherent in these encounters.

4. Updates on Lori Vallow and Tammy Dale

The discussion shifts to Lori Vallow, convicted of killing her children, and Tammy Dale, recently convicted of conspiracy to murder her ex-husband Charles Vallow. The hosts express disdain for Vallow and critique the legal proceedings surrounding her case.

Henry Zebrowski [16:44]: “She got released... facing attempted murder charges.”

They highlight perceived flaws in the judicial process, particularly in how jurors are treated and the potential for appeals to overturn verdicts based on juror misconduct.

5. Diddy Trial Updates

Zebrowski and Parks provide updates on the high-profile trial of Sean Combs (Diddy), who faces numerous charges related to entertainment, drug trafficking, and human trafficking.

Henry Zebrowski [24:25]: “They are now trying to say... he was simply too wasted to have planned all that himself.”

The hosts criticize Diddy’s defense strategy, deeming it inadequate given the severity and scope of the alleged crimes spanning over two decades.

Marcus Parks [25:36]: “I just don't think it's a defense.”

They explore the broader implications of celebrity involvement in criminal activities and the challenges of holding influential figures accountable.

6. The R Train Sex with Corpse Incident

One of the most disturbing stories covered is the case of Felix Rojas, charged with raping a corpse on New York City's R Train.

Henry Zebrowski [36:34]: “Felix Rojas, 44 years, has been charged with first-degree rape over the disturbing April 9 incident on a subway train in Manhattan.”

The hosts dissect the incident, questioning the psychological factors that might drive someone to commit such a heinous act. They also touch on the societal and urban challenges that contribute to such bizarre crimes.

Marcus Parks [36:35]: “It's truly the worst one... you gotta do it.”

Their analysis provides a chilling insight into the depths of human depravity and the complexities of criminal psychology.

7. Southwest Airlines Passenger Incidents

Zebrowski and Parks recount bizarre and unruly behaviors observed on Southwest Airlines flights, including passengers stripping naked and causing disturbances mid-flight.

Henry Zebrowski [50:37]: “A woman took off her pants and stripped down naked fully nude while the plane was landing.”

The hosts highlight the exacerbating effects of alcohol on flights and critique Southwest’s policies regarding passenger conduct. They discuss the challenges airlines face in maintaining order and passenger safety.

Marcus Parks [52:04]: “Police station... yeah.”

Their humorous yet critical take underscores the absurdities that can unfold within confined public spaces like airplanes.

8. Goose vs. Tiger at Columbus Zoo

A lighter, albeit still odd, story involves a Canadian goose engaging in a confrontation with a tiger at the Columbus Zoo, resulting in the goose successfully defending itself.

Henry Zebrowski [77:06]: “A wild Canadian goose flew into an open-air tiger habitat... the tiger wound up with a face full of feathered fury.”

The narrative serves as a metaphor for unexpected resistance and the unpredictable nature of wild animal behavior, providing a momentary respite from the episode’s darker themes.

Marcus Parks [78:07]: “She was drinking with her $50.”

9. Utah's First Cousin Marriage Laws

The hosts discuss Utah’s controversial laws permitting first cousins to marry under specific conditions, such as age restrictions and infertility.

Marcus Parks [61:52]: “First cousins can legally get married in Utah if both parties are over the age of 65.”

Zebrowski and Parks criticize the legislation, mocking the rationale and societal implications of allowing familial relationships to formalize under these loopholes.

Henry Zebrowski [62:23]: “That's what this is about... not having to worry about it.”

Their satirical take emphasizes the absurdity they perceive in the legal system’s handling of such sensitive issues.

10. Puppies Benefit Event Promotion

Towards the end of the episode, the hosts promote an upcoming benefit event aimed at assisting displaced pets and their families affected by wildfires.

Henry Zebrowski [81:07]: “Deja Vu Showgirls, the prettiest butthole in Michigan competition is beginning.”

Though presented humorously, this segment underscores the podcast’s commitment to community engagement and charitable efforts, blending their trademark humor with genuine philanthropic intent.

Conclusion and Closing Remarks

The episode concludes with a mix of humor and gratitude, celebrating Henry Zebrowski’s birthday and reinforcing their connection with listeners. The hosts encourage audience participation through letters and promotions for upcoming events, maintaining an engaging and interactive rapport.

Henry Zebrowski [83:48]: “Happy birthday, buddy.”

Their closing remarks leave listeners with a sense of camaraderie and anticipation for future episodes, encapsulating the podcast’s blend of horror, humor, and human interest stories.

Notable Quotes with Timestamps

Henry Zebrowski [09:16]: “I love. I love all of this. There's no way I wanted to go hang out with George Clinton.”
Marcus Parks [10:34]: “They're sick. I got Henry sick.”
Henry Zebrowski [14:02]: “I believe police should have goo guns and net guns, like, legitimately.”
Marcus Parks [36:35]: “It's truly the worst one... you gotta do it.”
Henry Zebrowski [83:49]: “Happy birthday, buddy.”

Final Thoughts

"Side Stories: The R Train" exemplifies Last Podcast on the Left’s ability to navigate through a spectrum of true crime stories with a unique blend of horror, humor, and insightful commentary. By interweaving personal narratives with discussions on complex criminal cases, the hosts provide listeners with an engaging and thought-provoking experience. This episode not only entertains but also invites reflection on societal issues, law enforcement practices, and the depths of human behavior.

For those who haven't yet listened, this episode offers a captivating glimpse into the podcast's signature style and thematic diversity, ensuring it’s a worthwhile addition to your true crime podcast collection.

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Transcript994 lines

[00:01]
Henry Zebrowski
ID Software presents Doom the Dark Ages. A dark fantasy sci fi shooter that delivers searing combat and explosive visuals.
[00:10]
Marcus Parks
And an epic cinematic story worthy of.
[00:13]
Henry Zebrowski
The Doom Slayer's legend. Dominate demon infested battlefields with bone crunching. Tools of mayhem. Take flight atop the fierce Mecha dragon or pummel enemies in a 30 story Atlan mechanical.
[00:27]
Marcus Parks
Stand and fight.
[00:29]
Henry Zebrowski
Starting May 15th on Xbox Series X&S, PlayStation 5 and PC. Pre order now. Rated infirmature. There's no place to escape to.
[00:38]
Marcus Parks
This is the last on the left side stories.
[00:45]
Henry Zebrowski
That's when the cannibalism started. Side stories. Yes. Oh, yes. Sorry. Sorry.
[01:00]
Marcus Parks
Well, Henry.
[01:02]
Henry Zebrowski
Oh, me.
[01:03]
Marcus Parks
Happy birthday week.
[01:04]
Henry Zebrowski
That's me.
[01:05]
Marcus Parks
It's your birthday this week.
[01:06]
Henry Zebrowski
Oh, yeah.
[01:07]
Marcus Parks
You're so excited. You look great. You look great. You don't look a day over 41.
[01:12]
Henry Zebrowski
I'm 41. Not yet.
[01:14]
Marcus Parks
Not yet. You're gonna be 41. Yes.
[01:16]
Henry Zebrowski
But I've been sick for days. Yes.
[01:18]
Marcus Parks
Yeah, me too. I think I gave it to you.
[01:20]
Henry Zebrowski
You did?
[01:21]
Marcus Parks
When we recorded the last. Last podcast on the left. Because you got sick and Marcus didn't. Because I sit close.
[01:26]
Henry Zebrowski
Yes.
[01:27]
Marcus Parks
And I was coughing.
[01:28]
Henry Zebrowski
You were coughing and sniffling.
[01:30]
Marcus Parks
Sniffing a bunch. But I still came to work because I care about you and I care about this job.
[01:34]
Henry Zebrowski
But then he went to go to the sea.
[01:36]
Marcus Parks
I went at this fear. Yeah.
[01:39]
Henry Zebrowski
Yeah.
[01:40]
Marcus Parks
Completely better. Yeah. What did you do all weekend?
[01:42]
Henry Zebrowski
I laid in my filth.
[01:44]
Marcus Parks
Hell yeah.
[01:45]
Henry Zebrowski
I watched. I played BG3.
[01:47]
Marcus Parks
You got a new girlfriend?
[01:48]
Henry Zebrowski
I did get a new girlfriend. At Baldur's Gate. Yeah. I'm fucking Lazell as well. I'm having sex with Shadow Heart. She's more kind of my emotional girlfriend.
[01:57]
Marcus Parks
Yeah.
[01:58]
Henry Zebrowski
Ladies. Elle and I are kind of.
[01:59]
Marcus Parks
She don't do.
[02:00]
Henry Zebrowski
We're friends.
[02:01]
Marcus Parks
She just sits around without. Like. She doesn't have a job. She's just collecting Social Security.
[02:06]
Henry Zebrowski
No, no. She's working very hard. She's. No, she's not lazy as hell. That is a contraction. Lazelle is a githyanki name.
[02:14]
Marcus Parks
Is her last name. Is it. Is there. Is it Susan Lazell. Susan.
[02:19]
Henry Zebrowski
That's funny. Welcome to side spinning around. I know. I remember. My name is. She is not. Jesus. Quarter and a spitter. I'm sitting here with Ed Larson who.
[02:29]
Marcus Parks
Is picking apart you can of my rats.
[02:31]
Henry Zebrowski
I don't want the rat.
[02:32]
Marcus Parks
Oh, my God. I can't believe you don't want the rat.
[02:35]
Henry Zebrowski
I am at a low today.
[02:37]
Marcus Parks
You're at a low.
[02:38]
Henry Zebrowski
I am at. I am.
[02:39]
Marcus Parks
Are you sad that you're getting older or are you sad cuz you're sick? Or are you sad cuz you're.
[02:43]
Henry Zebrowski
Hold it. Every single layer of it. I actually feel nothing about the age. It's mostly that I feel like dog for days and I want to party so bad. I am in a party mood. I wish that I could go out there and have fun and I can't right now. And it sucks.
[03:04]
Marcus Parks
I feel like a child on Thursday, bro. LPN Funhouse.
[03:08]
Henry Zebrowski
Come on out. You're gonna see me struggle. Live on the oneth of May, the day after this comes out on LPN TV. Twitch TV, LPNTV from 4pm Pacific to sometime we're.
[03:21]
Marcus Parks
We're partying for you. 4pM to 8pM 4 to 8.
[03:24]
Henry Zebrowski
You're going to come in and I'm doing it all.
[03:26]
Marcus Parks
I'm leaving early.
[03:28]
Henry Zebrowski
I'm not. I'm locked in for the entire four hours. It should be a lot of fun.
[03:33]
Marcus Parks
Yeah, I'm not. Because P. Funk's in town. I'm like, we should go see our favorite band on your birthday. No, we must work.
[03:40]
Henry Zebrowski
I was.
[03:41]
Marcus Parks
We must. We must do this.
[03:43]
Henry Zebrowski
It was.
[03:43]
Marcus Parks
We were gonna hang out with George Clinton on your birthday. I know. We're like, no, Eddie. Holden says we work. And when Holden says goes, I am. Right. Because you, you promoted them and now he's above you.
[03:56]
Henry Zebrowski
I am. I honestly, I can't wait to quit. I can't wait for. For him to take this over. Yeah. Sorry, guys. He's taking over the seat. He's coming here. He's gonna talk. No, Eddie. No.
[04:10]
Marcus Parks
Yeah. No.
[04:11]
Henry Zebrowski
I love. I love all of this. There's no way I wanted to go hang out with George Clinton. I didn't want to. No, it's not true. I am excited to be part of the LPN Fun House. It was booked first. Now this is. And that is called. That's called how it is. But not only am I excited for that, we're then next week we're going to be all throughout Florida. We're going to have a lot of fun.
[04:32]
Marcus Parks
Oh, my God. Dude, I'm very excited.
[04:34]
Henry Zebrowski
Toronto, which is sold out. And then Toronto, sold out. Go screw.
[04:37]
Marcus Parks
I think it's oversold.
[04:39]
Henry Zebrowski
Yeah. We're going to have to kick people out.
[04:40]
Marcus Parks
We're going to have to kick people out. Or like, at least I think someone's actually going to have to sit on my back. Yes. It was going to be very cool.
[04:46]
Henry Zebrowski
We're having people come on stage.
[04:47]
Marcus Parks
Yeah. We're going to have people who come on stage and just sit there and interrupt. I think. Yes, yes. Throw shit at us.
[04:53]
Henry Zebrowski
Can't wait. Yeah, we're doing. It's called the Hurdle show.
[04:55]
Marcus Parks
Yeah, no, I want to see how hot you can get Tim Hortons coffee.
[04:59]
Henry Zebrowski
And throw it on Henry you could get up to. I guess it's like 49 Celsius. I don't know what the legal hottest temperature is in Canada this. But we can't wait to see you all. Oh, yeah, we have a lot of. We have a couple of.
[05:11]
Marcus Parks
Well, you teased the Florida thing, but you didn't tell people where to go. Fort Lauderdale on the 7th, we're doing side stories at the Fort Lauderdale Improv. And on the 8th we're gonna be Orlando at the Funny Bone. With the first show sold out.
[05:24]
Henry Zebrowski
Yes. Second show's almost sold out.
[05:26]
Marcus Parks
So if you're gonna fin Orlando, come. Fort Lauderdale still has some tickets. And then also I'm gonna be solo in Naples on May 6th and the entire weekend in Key west from May 9th to 11th. Let's get into some updates. First off, we got footage. Oh, we got the footage, bro.
[05:43]
Henry Zebrowski
Well, I had. First of all, I just wanna say I got really good feedback from one of the most precious, long time fans of this show that is close to me and told me and I, I hear her, I heard her and I'm absorbing her.
[05:58]
Marcus Parks
Yeah.
[05:59]
Henry Zebrowski
And she said that she felt that we were coming a little hard at Jillian Shiner. Said we were kind of maybe insinuating some stuff about the, the. This is the wife of the bassist of Weezer.
[06:10]
Marcus Parks
Yeah.
[06:11]
Henry Zebrowski
What's his name? His name's like Stymie Shiner.
[06:13]
Marcus Parks
Steve Shiner, Sean Shiner, Shiner Brothers. Scott Shiner.
[06:18]
Henry Zebrowski
Yeah. Yeah. I love Weezer. I love Steiny. Stymie Shiner is my favorite guy.
[06:23]
Marcus Parks
Yeah. And his wife, Shiner Clock.
[06:25]
Henry Zebrowski
I love her. But you know, we kind of came a little bit hard about, you know, kind of saying that she's like. But honestly, I re. Looked into it and I talked with my friend and it's true. Jillian Shiner was doing some really, really great work within the true crime community. She was out there.
[06:42]
Marcus Parks
What was she doing?
[06:43]
Henry Zebrowski
She did a book about Samuel Little, the serial killer that she apparently was the one got him to confess. Oh. And. And basically talk about the. He said he had a photographic memory and he was painting pictures of the various sex workers that he had killed in the various decades that he was a serious serial killer.
[06:59]
Marcus Parks
We've never covered him, right?
[07:01]
Henry Zebrowski
No. Because there's really not A heck of a lot to the story. There's like. We know that he's a very mean, mad, mad man. He's very big. He was a semi pro boxer. He also sounds incredible to me. But he was a. Benny's a serial killer of sex workers.
[07:15]
Marcus Parks
Yeah, well, I mean, for the show. It's incredible.
[07:17]
Henry Zebrowski
But not enough. We don't know enough.
[07:19]
Marcus Parks
Yeah.
[07:20]
Henry Zebrowski
About it. We just know those. Then they all come from his mouth. The Samuel Little is also one of the least dependable of them as far as I'm concerned.
[07:28]
Marcus Parks
Okay, so we could have a. What's his name again? The guy who lied all the time.
[07:32]
Henry Zebrowski
Which one?
[07:33]
Marcus Parks
We did two updates on them that are coming out soon.
[07:35]
Henry Zebrowski
The Confession Killer. Oh, yes. Henry Lee.
[07:37]
Marcus Parks
Lou Henry.
[07:38]
Henry Zebrowski
It's very, very possible, but Jillian Shiner was a really good. She worked really hard. Now, the reason why we talked about her is because there was high speed chase that went through their very fancy neighborhood in Los Angeles and she decided.
[07:54]
Marcus Parks
Eagle Rock really fancy.
[07:55]
Henry Zebrowski
Now. It is.
[07:56]
Marcus Parks
Okay.
[07:57]
Henry Zebrowski
It's got some good.
[07:57]
Marcus Parks
I guess if Weezers live in there, it's got to be kind of fancy.
[08:00]
Henry Zebrowski
They got great houses. They really do have great houses. It's a bit crunchy for me. It's my. It's not my style. But if. Now what we have seen is that we know that last week, right before Weezer headline Coachella, they went and they. This. She inserted herself. It seemed to be in the hunt for the. This. These people that were running from a high speed chase that were armed. She herself was armed. She was in her front yard of her home while the police were looking for the suspects. She had the gun out and she was gesturing with the gun. The police then apparently shot her in the exchange. We now have the body cam footage and when you watch it, you really can't see. She really was quite confident with the handgun and the police. And I'm just gonna put this out there for anybody. This is no longer a. I'm not trashing this woman. She seemed to be scared, slash righteous slash. She made a.
[08:58]
Marcus Parks
She does not seem scared.
[09:00]
Henry Zebrowski
She seems like she's very much in charge of her yard.
[09:03]
Marcus Parks
Yes.
[09:04]
Henry Zebrowski
And she has the gun and she. The problem is the police officers all go, put the gun down. Put the gun down. Put the gun down. Over and over again. You hear them communicating.
[09:16]
Marcus Parks
You put your fucking gun down.
[09:18]
Henry Zebrowski
Which is again, I'm just gonna say, just no judgment on a character. You're just gonna want to be really careful with when you have a gun and the police are there and they have their guns. Because the thing about police is that they're jumpy and they are not ready. They're not ready. Most of them are not ready. They're not well trained. So I actually got to reach out from. As we talked about it because I said maybe the cops were pulling it away because we know that she was only injured because they open up fire on her.
[09:47]
Marcus Parks
They shot a bunch of times. They're either exercising her white privilege or horrible shots. Cuz she, Cuz they shot like what, eight times.
[09:58]
Henry Zebrowski
And one of the hardest parts is that she does shoot first. It does seem as if she pops off a shot as well.
[10:04]
Marcus Parks
She lifts the gun.
[10:05]
Henry Zebrowski
They found a bullet casing of. From her gun.
[10:08]
Marcus Parks
Yeah.
[10:08]
Henry Zebrowski
That was also expelled. So this was a very bad scenario. But then I was going to go.
[10:14]
Marcus Parks
To prison for attempted murder of a police officer.
[10:16]
Henry Zebrowski
There's. Right now there's. They. They don't know what to do because that's like.
[10:20]
Marcus Parks
I don't know, you shoot a gun at a cop, you're trying to kill him. Right.
[10:24]
Henry Zebrowski
It's.
[10:26]
Marcus Parks
I know we're trying to be nice to this woman but because you have a friend of a friend, but at the same time she fired a gun at a cop, that seems like attempted murder.
[10:34]
Henry Zebrowski
Oh, I'm going to say that. I'm going to say it's a bit. Big old mistake. Whatever it is, it's a big old mistake. But this officer that reached out to me said we should be lucky. She should be lucky that they are so poorly trained because they are not supposed to just wing you.
[10:49]
Marcus Parks
Yeah.
[10:49]
Henry Zebrowski
They are supposed to riddle you with bullets. And the problem is that she wasn't.
[10:56]
Marcus Parks
We're sick. I got Henry sick.
[10:58]
Henry Zebrowski
Everybody's sick. Not me. No, he's fine. I'm going to be sick for break. No, no, no, don't worry. It's already passed. It's already passed. Yay. But she, yeah, she got real lucky that they weren't well trained because she should be a corpse. And because they did, they definitely spray her with bullets.
[11:17]
Marcus Parks
Yeah.
[11:18]
Henry Zebrowski
Sprayed the yard with bullets. And I tell you what, I feel like there's a couple other scenarios where if they did happen to spray everybody with bullets, it would have made things a lot more black and white and we actually maybe could have dealt with that.
[11:29]
Marcus Parks
Do you think they knew who she was?
[11:31]
Henry Zebrowski
I know that they knew that she was a, A rich lady in a yard packing a gun.
[11:38]
Marcus Parks
Yeah.
[11:39]
Henry Zebrowski
In the middle of an active investigation that she was involving herself in. And technically, normally what would happen they would either get you for obstruction.
[11:49]
Marcus Parks
Right.
[11:49]
Henry Zebrowski
They go and they'd be like, you know, they come and they. They rally you up and most of the time when they get you for obstruction, it's just to cool you out. And a lot of times they'll just let you go. A lot of times if you show up at a crime scene.
[12:01]
Marcus Parks
Yeah.
[12:01]
Henry Zebrowski
And start yelling and screaming. One police officer will eventually wait till.
[12:04]
Marcus Parks
I get to do that.
[12:05]
Henry Zebrowski
Me too. I can't wait one day soon I do. Yeah. And so they pop you in the back. A lot of times they'll depending again. It might depend on what color you are. But they pop you in the back of a car and they decide whether or not they're going to press charges against you.
[12:19]
Marcus Parks
Yeah.
[12:19]
Henry Zebrowski
If you're just fucking up the everyday kind of investigation, a lot of times they let you go. A lot of times they just want you out of the way and then they get ready. Because it's hard to. Because it's hard to charge with obstruction.
[12:31]
Marcus Parks
Yeah. Because it's opinion.
[12:32]
Henry Zebrowski
Yes. And it's. It's like a nothing burger charge. It's like that doesn't do anything.
[12:36]
Marcus Parks
Yeah.
[12:36]
Henry Zebrowski
So they just kind of do it as an excuse to get you out of the situation. She might get charged with obstruction because of this. They might throw away the minimum. They might throw away the attempted murder and give her obstruction to be nice.
[12:51]
Marcus Parks
If she gets no obstruction. Firing a gun at a cop during a chase. I don't know. Like that. Like. Might as well cause riots in this city.
[13:02]
Henry Zebrowski
There was a date in January several years ago which we kind of see the same thing happen where the police are coming across a group of people that are. Seem to be. Let's just say they were storming a house that was white. Yeah. And they said, hey, they. They scan the crowd. And instead of doing probably what they would have done in any other aspect. Unless of course, they were told to not open fire on them ahead of time because it was all a setup. They also then should have probably killed all of those guys. Yeah. In order to set the precedent that you don't do that. But then it seems that that caused a lot of problems. As we could see, that's kind of constant rolling effect ever since then. So it's interesting in some points where you don't want the police to use excessive force. Right. Most of the time you really don't. Most of the time I'm praying for de escalation. No one should get shot by the police. If you don't absolutely have To.
[13:58]
Marcus Parks
I don't want anyone to ever get shot by any cops or by anybody.
[14:02]
Henry Zebrowski
I believe police should have goo guns and net guns, like, legitimately.
[14:06]
Marcus Parks
That would be cool.
[14:07]
Henry Zebrowski
I don't really know why we don't. I know we have them for crowd control. I think technically something like a giant staying foam spray would be really good for a bunch of insurrectionists in the trunk. Yeah. Because then it's like you don't necessarily have to kill them. You just got to. You just got to kind of. Someone has to come and clean them all up and arrest them.
[14:26]
Marcus Parks
Shotgun with salt bullets could be cool.
[14:28]
Henry Zebrowski
A lot of ways to do it, Eddie. There's a lot of ways to discourage lots of different things without death. But then a gun that's just got.
[14:35]
Marcus Parks
Like a big boxing glove at the end of it or just like a.
[14:38]
Henry Zebrowski
Thing that just says like, hey, you look gay. You like a speaker that just. Hey, you're looking gay. It freezes these guys.
[14:45]
Marcus Parks
Thank you.
[14:45]
Henry Zebrowski
Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. It freezes them. And so it's like. I feel like there's a. There's that. But then during. Sometimes you wonder why they didn't use excessive force. And it seems to be another way for them to politically manipulate the situation.
[14:57]
Marcus Parks
Yeah.
[14:58]
Henry Zebrowski
That's just my little opinion. And what do I know? I'm a fat piece of.
[15:01]
Marcus Parks
Amen.
[15:02]
Henry Zebrowski
So let's go.
[15:03]
Marcus Parks
We have. You know, with your. With your cough, you're a little bit of a Weezer yourself.
[15:10]
Henry Zebrowski
I hope I don't have pneumonia. I am dying. Oh, well, she got released.
[15:15]
Marcus Parks
You have old Monia.
[15:16]
Henry Zebrowski
I have old pseudonia. It is definitely not the pneumonia. No. Yeah. She is released on $1 million bonds.
[15:23]
Marcus Parks
Okay.
[15:24]
Henry Zebrowski
You only had to pay in 10%, so she had 100 grand cash. But I hope that this serves as a wake up call.
[15:30]
Marcus Parks
Yeah.
[15:30]
Henry Zebrowski
And that she can get back to the good work.
[15:33]
Marcus Parks
Yes.
[15:33]
Henry Zebrowski
Yeah.
[15:34]
Marcus Parks
Get back to, you know, reporting on that true crime.
[15:37]
Henry Zebrowski
She's facing attempted murder charges.
[15:39]
Marcus Parks
Oh, she is facing attempted murder.
[15:40]
Henry Zebrowski
Very much so. Yeah.
[15:41]
Marcus Parks
They're going to.
[15:42]
Henry Zebrowski
No one's happy with her.
[15:43]
Marcus Parks
I mean, this is.
[15:44]
Henry Zebrowski
I mean, maybe she could pick up some trash next the highway or something.
[15:47]
Marcus Parks
I don't. I think that you're going to have to charge her.
[15:51]
Henry Zebrowski
Unfortunately. I. I'm not into it.
[15:54]
Marcus Parks
I don't think the cops are in the business of making it okay to shoot at them occasionally.
[15:58]
Henry Zebrowski
I feel. It feels like. And then now that that new executive order got signed, the police can call upon the military to come help them at any point. It's Gonna be interesting.
[16:07]
Marcus Parks
It's interesting because they're already armed with.
[16:09]
Henry Zebrowski
All our old military, so now they'll get the old stuff and the new stuff.
[16:13]
Marcus Parks
That's really cool.
[16:14]
Henry Zebrowski
Oh, yeah. Good for them. Also, we got another great update. So Lori Valow was allowed to comment upon her guilty. Oh, she got. You know, obviously she got convicted of. She's already been convicted of killing her children. And Tammy Dale, this time she was convicted murder, conspiracy. The conspiracy to murder Charles Vallow, her husband. Her ex husband. And she was allowed to talk on camera. And it's the most horrible travesty ever. It's just like.
[16:45]
Marcus Parks
What is it, like a webcam or.
[16:46]
Henry Zebrowski
No, it's a real reporter they went to. There's a big irresponsible thing that I saw with this Lori Valo trial that I don't really understand, where everyone started talking to the jury immediately, like, this is how you get shit thrown out.
[17:01]
Marcus Parks
Yeah. Well, it's already happened, though. The. The verdict came in.
[17:04]
Henry Zebrowski
But you can get your shit thrown out on appeal very easily if a juror slips and says something after the fact along the lines of, I heard xyz or I. One of them came out the first thing out of his fucking mouth. This one guy. They're always one. There's always one, which I. I'm a little jealous of because I want to be this guy. Yes. But there's one guy that's doing this whole thing where he's like, I thought Lori was innocent. I thought she was innocent the whole time. And it wasn't until I told my granddaughter, like, he was like, oh, my God. Talking about this thing. And everyone's like, no, no, no, no, no, no. Shut the living fuck up. Shut up. Because you can very possibly get the whole thing thrown out very easily.
[17:48]
Marcus Parks
Yeah.
[17:49]
Henry Zebrowski
Because they're morons. It's also. It was just extremely. Arizona's got very loose laws when it comes to the jury.
[17:55]
Marcus Parks
Yeah. And they also. They also got loose laws, which is locking people up. Yeah. Because they had that whole crazy jail for Joe or pio.
[18:01]
Henry Zebrowski
Oh, I remember that. But Lori. Yeah. Lori looks like she got an opportunity to put on makeup again that she made from a series, I guess, of berries and juice mixes that she's got. Yeah. Some blood. Her hair is looking rough. She's. Honestly, her face is kind of falling a little bit. She. Age is starting to show. But thankfully, she happily gets to go back to her favorite jail in Idaho. Yes. That's really what she was missing. And good on you, Laurie, you fucking bitch. And I Hope somebody shanks you in jail, you fucking homicidal maniac.
[18:32]
Marcus Parks
I mean, it might happen, but I think. Is she in gen pop?
[18:35]
Henry Zebrowski
I doubt it.
[18:36]
Marcus Parks
Right? She's too popular.
[18:37]
Henry Zebrowski
Well, she apparently is in a woman. She says she gives a series of spiritual counseling to some women that are in jail.
[18:45]
Marcus Parks
Oh my God. I bet she is like a weird little guru.
[18:47]
Henry Zebrowski
They all talk. Everybody's got. They got nothing but time. Yeah, I can do nothing but hang out so they can sit and listen to her pontificate about her dumb ideas. And they can all wait for Moroni to pop him out of jail.
[18:57]
Marcus Parks
Yeah, it's not like anyone can get canceled when they're already in prison.
[19:01]
Henry Zebrowski
It was so hard, honestly, because they're even canceled. They're still going on tour from prison. Yeah, they're still putting out specials. She's an isolated high security is what it says.
[19:09]
Marcus Parks
Isolated highs. Okay. Yeah. So ain't no one really hanging out with her.
[19:12]
Henry Zebrowski
She should do a podcast from jail.
[19:14]
Marcus Parks
I'm surprised they don't let her.
[19:16]
Henry Zebrowski
Opn. Let's bring it here you.
[19:18]
Marcus Parks
So you would like it.
[19:19]
Henry Zebrowski
I mean, in terms of that way I could make it, but then maybe I could flip it on her. You should interview her.
[19:24]
Marcus Parks
She's doing interviews.
[19:25]
Henry Zebrowski
I'd have a hard time not doing it without screaming at her. Yeah, because that was the thing. Even just watching it, I'm screaming at my YouTube. I'm watching and being like, you dumb. You pulling. You're. But you're specifically not understanding the things that they are telling you. You're specifically not understanding things because you want reality to be your way and it's not. You killed your kids, you homicidal maniac.
[19:45]
Marcus Parks
It's so weird because when you get obsessed with things, I think you love these people. But then like when you actually start talking about them, you just start screaming and get all red faced.
[19:52]
Henry Zebrowski
Yes, Natalie's noticed it as well.
[19:56]
Marcus Parks
Sometimes you get angry, which is good.
[20:00]
Henry Zebrowski
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[23:53]
Marcus Parks
Oh, yeah, Lots of in prison stuff.
[23:55]
Henry Zebrowski
But you know that they did a new. This autopsy on Pope Jorge. Baby oil. Baby oil all in them. No ass, not Jorge. Mouth all over his chest.
[24:11]
Marcus Parks
Oh, my God.
[24:12]
Henry Zebrowski
Cum residue on his butt cheeks. Oh, my God.
[24:15]
Marcus Parks
How are they gonna make him into a mummy?
[24:17]
Henry Zebrowski
Honestly, it's gotta be so hard. You gotta scrape all the stuff off.
[24:20]
Marcus Parks
Well, you need oil in the Catholic Church to anoint.
[24:23]
Henry Zebrowski
You gotta be anointin'yeah.
[24:25]
Marcus Parks
Yeah, yeah.
[24:26]
Henry Zebrowski
And he was anointing to fucking Sheba and back, man.
[24:30]
Marcus Parks
But yeah, apparently Diddy claims.
[24:33]
Henry Zebrowski
Well, this is the new thing. His defense attorney, who. They're already talking too much. Yes. The government came at Diddy with this absolutely byzantine series of charges. I want to say it's something like hundreds of charges. Yes. They are now trying to say up front that one of their big defenses in the trial. I believe the trial date set for like, mid May. It's starting soon.
[24:58]
Marcus Parks
Oh, is it?
[24:58]
Henry Zebrowski
Yeah, The Diddy trial. Starting soon. Ooh, it's gonna be good.
[25:02]
Marcus Parks
That's exciting. Are you gonna watch that one?
[25:03]
Henry Zebrowski
Of course. And. But they are saying now, according to his defense attorney, he is trying to say that all of the years of all of the various parties, all the layers of all of the organ, the human trafficking and sex with minors in a group aspect and all of this shit, that he was simply too wasted to have planned all that himself. Yeah.
[25:29]
Marcus Parks
Too drunk to fuck the fuck. And that's his defense. And I just don't think it's not a defense.
[25:36]
Henry Zebrowski
Not for 25 years of rape.
[25:39]
Marcus Parks
Yeah. You know what I mean?
[25:40]
Henry Zebrowski
It's like 25 years.
[25:42]
Marcus Parks
I mean, even one.
[25:43]
Henry Zebrowski
It's not organized.
[25:44]
Marcus Parks
Yeah, of course, but frat boys go to prison occasionally.
[25:48]
Henry Zebrowski
All the time. It's still rape. And it's like they get full on. He planned it. Millions of dollars was put behind it.
[25:54]
Marcus Parks
Yeah.
[25:55]
Henry Zebrowski
Emails, texts, like plane tickets, catering. Like, think about just the layers of that catering. Bar service, the dj. All these things that were at these parties just like any other giant Hollywood party.
[26:11]
Marcus Parks
Yeah.
[26:11]
Henry Zebrowski
So there was an infrastructure in place. The people that were all involved. Ashton Kutcher's hanging out. His bosses from his record companies are hanging out. They all knew it was happening.
[26:21]
Marcus Parks
Yes.
[26:22]
Henry Zebrowski
They all were talking about. What's her name just came out. Was a cocoa.
[26:25]
Marcus Parks
Oh, no. Iced Tea and cocoa.
[26:26]
Henry Zebrowski
Coco said she went to every single one of them.
[26:29]
Marcus Parks
No, Coco, of course, but Coco. Don't say that.
[26:32]
Henry Zebrowski
Coco is trying to make a point.
[26:34]
Marcus Parks
I love Coco.
[26:36]
Henry Zebrowski
Not the. Not the Mexican skeleton.
[26:39]
Marcus Parks
No, I love. I like that cocoa more, though.
[26:42]
Henry Zebrowski
Good.
[26:43]
Marcus Parks
Yes, that Coco.
[26:43]
Henry Zebrowski
But Coco is saying that she was involved with all of these various things. She's gonna be involved with all this.
[26:52]
Marcus Parks
Oh, God. Jesus, Henry.
[26:54]
Henry Zebrowski
What a good. What a good time for an audio medium for the. You and I. For you and I. Right.
[26:58]
Marcus Parks
Yeah. No, no, we're. You're full Weezer.
[27:01]
Henry Zebrowski
I am dying. I'm dying. This is. I. I find it interesting. He's not getting out of this.
[27:09]
Marcus Parks
No.
[27:10]
Henry Zebrowski
No one wants to go down with it.
[27:12]
Marcus Parks
There's hundreds of charges.
[27:13]
Henry Zebrowski
No one wants to go down with it. And it's. I actually think that now, too, we're going to see even more. Just. Lane Maxwell from behind jail is trying. She's trying to get out. She's trying to flip on whoever. The last bits that she can flip on.
[27:27]
Marcus Parks
Flip on Diddy.
[27:28]
Henry Zebrowski
She will. Diddy is. This is where it's separate and it's why Diddy got arrested versus why Epstein didn't. We talked about this a little bit. It.
[27:36]
Marcus Parks
Yeah, right.
[27:37]
Henry Zebrowski
I guess in the end, Epstein got arrested, but it was. I mean, who knows how all that was going to shake out before he killed himself or was allowed to kill himself.
[27:45]
Marcus Parks
Yeah. So told.
[27:46]
Henry Zebrowski
Told, possibly.
[27:48]
Marcus Parks
Yeah.
[27:48]
Henry Zebrowski
You know, Diddy, again, was in the expendable business of entertainment and drug trafficking.
[27:56]
Marcus Parks
Yes.
[27:56]
Henry Zebrowski
That's expendable.
[27:58]
Marcus Parks
And human trafficking.
[27:59]
Henry Zebrowski
Yes. Again, it doesn't matter. These are not crimes that they care about. Diddy was not connected to the intelligence community. That's the difference.
[28:07]
Marcus Parks
Yes.
[28:08]
Henry Zebrowski
Jizz Lane was connected to the intelligence community. Prince Andrew was connected to the intelligence community. Epstein obviously was a spy.
[28:16]
Marcus Parks
There's a difference between Prince Andrew and Ashton Kutcher.
[28:21]
Henry Zebrowski
Barely. Barely. But yes. And they are. There's a difference. Like. And speaking of Prince Andrew, Virginia Giuffre, that was his main accuser during the entire Epstein saga. All of this, she just committed suicide. And she had this sort of massive, like, fall from Greece over the last, like, short period of months where she was getting. She was starting to act really erratic. She claimed almost be murdered in a bus accident. She said she only had four days to live after this bus accident. The bus driver was like, this is like. She's exaggerating. She then went through a really intense divorce where she accused her husband of. Of abuse. I don't know what happened. Domestic Violence is. All of this shit happened. Obviously. Virginia Giuffre's life was destroyed.
[29:07]
Marcus Parks
Completely suffering from ptsd.
[29:08]
Henry Zebrowski
Utterly, utterly traumatized.
[29:10]
Marcus Parks
Yeah.
[29:11]
Henry Zebrowski
From all of the things. God knows what's going on. But I. Now her parents are saying, let's investigate the suicide. I just think it's more of an example of why this all is all so hard for people to talk about, to lay their lives on the line to be whistleblowers for. It's extremely difficult, especially something like her. So I think that she's a nut. Like, this whole Epstein thing is still rolling and rolling and rolling. And now we're seeing the fact that, you know, like, our president was his best friend and all the other connections that you have. We know that he had some connections to Netanyahu. You know, he had some connections to all these other things. It's all very bad.
[29:57]
Marcus Parks
And Prince Andrew, you told me she. He paid her off.
[30:00]
Henry Zebrowski
They had it. Well, they had a settlement.
[30:02]
Marcus Parks
Okay?
[30:02]
Henry Zebrowski
They had a settlement. And then Prince Andrew was stripped of all of his fancy.
[30:07]
Marcus Parks
They took all it took his crown.
[30:09]
Henry Zebrowski
They took all of their deceptor. They took his little curled boots. Yeah, they took his thing. They popped his sweat gland so he could sweat again. That was the whole thing with Prince Andrew. He said that he couldn't sweat. You couldn't possibly sweat. That's what goes with Virginia. Joffre described them dancing and him having him heaving on top of her. She just talked about the sweat pouring down his face. You ever remember scary stories to tell in the dark?
[30:31]
Marcus Parks
Yes.
[30:32]
Henry Zebrowski
You remember that drawing of that lady with the long, stringy white hair and that thing in that?
[30:37]
Marcus Parks
I don't remember. Rob, please find.
[30:38]
Henry Zebrowski
That's Prince Andrew.
[30:40]
Marcus Parks
Okay?
[30:41]
Henry Zebrowski
That's, like, what she saw when Prince Andrew was heaving on top of her. Right? This is literally. They have the same face, they have the same body, and they have the same.
[30:53]
Marcus Parks
I was like, that looks like me at prom.
[30:58]
Henry Zebrowski
But again, it's just another example of how this pain just keeps on rolling. So they're. They're playing whack a mole with them. We have no idea who else is there. Like, think about who else we're not talking about. I imagine that there are people within these structures that would surprise the living hell out of you. That is part of what they were even saying about the Diddy stuff. Is that part of the Diddy stuff that helps wrap it all in mystery is that there's a couple of people in there that you'd be like, what?
[31:32]
Marcus Parks
Of course.
[31:33]
Henry Zebrowski
It's like. And it Might be someone you really don't want it to be.
[31:38]
Marcus Parks
Yeah, but if it is, then it.
[31:39]
Henry Zebrowski
Is like my hero, Chuck Schumer.
[31:41]
Marcus Parks
Yeah.
[31:42]
Henry Zebrowski
Oh, my hero. That brave, revolutionary Chuck Schumer.
[31:46]
Marcus Parks
Chuck Schumer hasn't gotten hard since Jaws came out.
[31:49]
Henry Zebrowski
Oh, no. His hardness. He gets hard when his tumors get hard.
[31:53]
Marcus Parks
Work, Rob, good luck editing this. Yeah, yeah.
[31:58]
Henry Zebrowski
This is disgusting. Two of us just sound like we're in an off track betting. I'm doing my best. We. Oh, we have to do the episode, guys. We have to be. We have to be recording.
[32:11]
Marcus Parks
Oh, wait till we do another one tomorrow. That airs next week. You gotta listen to it all again.
[32:16]
Henry Zebrowski
Just choking and wheezing.
[32:19]
Marcus Parks
By the way, the trial starts on Cinco de Mayo Taco Monday.
[32:26]
Henry Zebrowski
Yeah, buddy. Oh, tell me I'm getting my tapas lined up. Yeah, I can't wait, dude, I can't wait for that front row seat.
[32:33]
Marcus Parks
Oh, man. Well, I can't. Too drunk to fuck is not an argument, Diddy. I'm very sorry, buddy.
[32:39]
Henry Zebrowski
It's too drunk to organize. Like, that's the thing. Like, you have to be like, I'm stoned a lot.
[32:45]
Marcus Parks
Yeah.
[32:46]
Henry Zebrowski
But I play.
[32:47]
Marcus Parks
It's still your house.
[32:48]
Henry Zebrowski
I have many opportunities to sort of clear up and make some business emails.
[32:52]
Marcus Parks
Yeah. You know, everybody wear white. That's got to work.
[32:59]
Henry Zebrowski
That's called producing.
[33:00]
Marcus Parks
Yeah, that's what producing is. A producer, he has all the money. Career is producing anything that he says.
[33:07]
Henry Zebrowski
Trying to escape blame doesn't really make any sense because he was so up his own ass with his own organization. He was such a control freak and he was so obsessed with all of this shit. It was his real job. The sex stuff was his real job. The rest of it was the hobby. And then he was doing all of this stuff. And when you are that level of producer, the way they do it, much like the president, is that they're trying to say, like they're delivering orders. Much like, how did he helped kill Tupac and fucking Biggie?
[33:40]
Marcus Parks
Yeah.
[33:40]
Henry Zebrowski
Now that this seems like it definitely was involved in some level. But when you have that amount of money and that amount of clout, when you do say dumb shit like that, enough, go. People that are making legit money and are legit important, make it happen for you.
[33:55]
Marcus Parks
Yeah.
[33:55]
Henry Zebrowski
So then, yes, of course they're all the foot soldiers, but get with all the foot soldiers also, they do the flip. Time to do the flip.
[34:04]
Marcus Parks
I mean, his little. His little white boys flip.
[34:06]
Henry Zebrowski
I mean, the white boy was the worst choice that p. Did. He Ever made.
[34:09]
Marcus Parks
Yes.
[34:09]
Henry Zebrowski
That drug dealer. Anybody that looked like a character from the Road Trip films.
[34:14]
Marcus Parks
Yeah.
[34:14]
Henry Zebrowski
It's not allowed to be my mule. You're not my main mule. I want my mule. Be an abuelita.
[34:21]
Marcus Parks
Yeah.
[34:22]
Henry Zebrowski
Old woman. Yeah, Cuz an old woman too. Cuz the best, you know the best part about an old woman is that you can also give her a couple. If you lop off the, the titties.
[34:31]
Marcus Parks
Right? Okay. Yeah.
[34:31]
Henry Zebrowski
You put a couple grenades in her bra and stuff like that. If you get her old enough not give a. She'll pop those too. Take one for the ship. Wow. Kill herself and everybody else involved.
[34:42]
Marcus Parks
Hell yeah.
[34:42]
Henry Zebrowski
That's a good, that's a good mule.
[34:44]
Marcus Parks
Take notes, Zielinski.
[34:45]
Henry Zebrowski
Come on.
[34:46]
Marcus Parks
Oh yeah. No, but I think, man, who would be the saddest person involved in Diddy's crimes? I get Biggie's mom.
[34:57]
Henry Zebrowski
That's really sad.
[34:58]
Marcus Parks
That would be the saddest one.
[34:59]
Henry Zebrowski
Oh, God. I would say the saddest person involved would be. I don't care about the rest of the 70s show people, you know?
[35:08]
Marcus Parks
Yeah.
[35:09]
Henry Zebrowski
You know, I'd really feel sad for.
[35:10]
Marcus Parks
Who?
[35:11]
Henry Zebrowski
Mace.
[35:12]
Marcus Parks
Oh, yeah.
[35:13]
Henry Zebrowski
Where's Mace at? That? Mace left. He became a preacher.
[35:16]
Marcus Parks
Oh, you think?
[35:18]
Henry Zebrowski
But now I actually wonder if Mace saw what was going on and he was so freaked out. He was like, I need the Lord.
[35:24]
Marcus Parks
A lot of people do that.
[35:25]
Henry Zebrowski
Yeah.
[35:25]
Marcus Parks
Of course, General Buck Naked. Of course he became a preacher after he stopped being a warlord.
[35:30]
Henry Zebrowski
It's almost like an escape valve. It's almost like a thing that they can do that's real easy because they built a system for a bunch of people that have done a bunch of crimes against large groups of people to just do a Hail Mary pass and then just get good with God and then they get. You just move on. Yeah, well, everybody else has to deal with all the horrible things that they did, but at least they get absolution, Eddie. So I think that's what's awesome about organized religion.
[35:55]
Marcus Parks
Yeah. And it's good. And they, they become leaders in the community.
[35:57]
Henry Zebrowski
And that's the best part about it. They are allowed to do a lot of things and they get access to budgets and money and, and crew again.
[36:03]
Marcus Parks
It's very cool.
[36:04]
Henry Zebrowski
It's very cool.
[36:05]
Marcus Parks
There was, you know, I, I. This is a bad segue. But speaking of sexual assault in New.
[36:10]
Henry Zebrowski
York, this bad segue.
[36:12]
Marcus Parks
It's a bad segue, but it is, it is a fact. There is a man charged. This is the headline. Man charged with raping corpse on New.
[36:23]
Henry Zebrowski
York City subway, you know, you. The reason why you felt.
[36:26]
Marcus Parks
I feel like if we don't tell this story, it's like against the mantra of the show.
[36:32]
Henry Zebrowski
Oh, I agree. I agree. Now the man.
[36:35]
Marcus Parks
It's not fun.
[36:36]
Henry Zebrowski
No. Felix Rojas, 44 years fun, has been charged with first degree rape over the disturbing April 9 incident on a subway train in Manhattan. The R train, of course.
[36:49]
Marcus Parks
Truly the worst one. It's like, ah. It's like, oh, you know, if I'm on this train, you gotta do it.
[36:54]
Henry Zebrowski
Hey, Lake's on the M train is where you get murdered.
[36:57]
Marcus Parks
Yes.
[36:58]
Henry Zebrowski
Now the New York City subway happens.
[36:59]
Marcus Parks
On the G train.
[37:01]
Henry Zebrowski
Gaped. Getting gaped. But that's consensual. Yeah, yeah, it's consensual, y'all. But this guy. So a guy died. So the story goes. A man died. Natural. Natural causes. On the train. He gets on the R train. One of my worst nightmares. Sounds like had a heart attack or something. On the train.
[37:21]
Marcus Parks
Yeah. It's hard living in New York.
[37:22]
Henry Zebrowski
Oh, it is. But the guy, a man saw him, robbed him.
[37:26]
Marcus Parks
No, it was a woman. A woman robbed him after. Oh, the woman robbed. After the river.
[37:33]
Henry Zebrowski
Both. So the man robbed him.
[37:36]
Marcus Parks
Okay.
[37:36]
Henry Zebrowski
Saw he was dead, robbed his corpse. Didn't know it was a corpse until he felt, I guess, how cold his torso was.
[37:45]
Marcus Parks
But he still took his money.
[37:46]
Henry Zebrowski
Yep. Then said, I like this. It had had sex with his mouth and his butt.
[37:55]
Marcus Parks
Yes.
[37:56]
Henry Zebrowski
Right. The corpse on. On camera. Then he left. And then he was robbed again by the woman. Then the corpse was robbed again.
[38:07]
Marcus Parks
Oh, see, I thought the woman robbed him first. No, no, no, no, no.
[38:12]
Henry Zebrowski
See, so this is the thing, is that New York's a hard city to live in.
[38:16]
Marcus Parks
It is, anyhow. And there's the thing, is everyone thinks everyone's a lunatic in New York. We all people live there. And then at any given day, there's another 8 million visiting or coming in from Jersey and Long Island. No offense, this isn't a long.
[38:30]
Henry Zebrowski
This is not an anti New York sentiment.
[38:32]
Marcus Parks
No, no.
[38:33]
Henry Zebrowski
We live in Los Angeles.
[38:34]
Marcus Parks
That many people live in one place, there's gonna be horrible shit happening.
[38:37]
Henry Zebrowski
It's just the way that they talked about it. And just like the idea that the man. It's the. It's the consideration. It's. The man on an open train sees a corpse and yes, I do believe they're okay. How do I. How do I walk?
[38:54]
Marcus Parks
It was before midnight.
[38:56]
Henry Zebrowski
Wow. This is. That's not good either. Yeah, it was. 555.
[39:01]
Marcus Parks
Yeah.
[39:02]
Henry Zebrowski
Wow. Middle of the day.
[39:04]
Marcus Parks
The woman robbed him first. The woman robbed him first.
[39:06]
Henry Zebrowski
Thank God we cleared it up.
[39:08]
Marcus Parks
Yeah. No, that's. I mean, if there's like a guy with his pants around his ankles, a dead. Dead body with his pants around his ankles and, like, semen in his butt, and then you go rob him, that seems worse than just robbing a dead body. Robbing a dead body. I almost don't see the crime.
[39:20]
Henry Zebrowski
You know what's funny, Eddie, is that I'm almost with you. You where? If he's dead. I've been playing too much Baldur's Gate. I've been playing too much Baldur's Gate. You got a loot. Yeah, he got looted. He got looted. Now, that's different, right? Yes, certainly. It's hard to live in New York. It's hard to live in America right now. Everybody's worried about money. I could see out of pure, utter, horrible desperation, you robbing a dead body for the money within it. That is. Not. Again, that is the. That's just one crime. That is just more of a sad state of affairs for the country.
[39:55]
Marcus Parks
Right.
[39:56]
Henry Zebrowski
It's more the checking his pockets. Ah. He doesn't hear anything. And then looking around, it's been like. But you know what I could do like, that's what I don't understand. It's. I don't know if it's the. Been like. Do you think that it's a guy that he's had his eyes on for a while and he takes the train every day, and he's been falling in love with him slowly but surely on the train, like Gwyneth Paltrow, Bradley Cooper, like scenario where he's been watching him come on every day, and they take the same route every day. And he's always kind of wondered what it'd be like to. To try to kiss him, maybe bring him back to life, you know? No one ever says that either. No one ever thinks that. That, like. Because it's like, oh, well, if he's gonna. So is that the corpse with the knee up? No, this is just the same man. He takes the subway a lot.
[40:40]
Marcus Parks
Oh, well, I mean, lots of people take the subway a lot.
[40:43]
Henry Zebrowski
Sure. But they have him on footage.
[40:45]
Marcus Parks
That's. That's why.
[40:46]
Henry Zebrowski
Well, yeah, he's. He definitely has a bit of a Michael Ch. Style about him.
[40:50]
Marcus Parks
I mean. I mean. Yeah.
[40:52]
Henry Zebrowski
In terms of his dress.
[40:53]
Marcus Parks
Yeah.
[40:54]
Henry Zebrowski
Not his activities.
[40:55]
Marcus Parks
No, no, no.
[40:56]
Henry Zebrowski
I mean, I don't know. We haven't hung out with him a lot.
[40:58]
Marcus Parks
No, it's been a while, but I.
[40:59]
Henry Zebrowski
Don't think he's having sex with corpses anymore.
[41:02]
Marcus Parks
I would highly doubt it.
[41:03]
Henry Zebrowski
I don't know.
[41:04]
Marcus Parks
He seems like he's too successful for that.
[41:07]
Henry Zebrowski
Let's ask Colin Jost. Now the. These guys are like. But it's. It's just this idea of I, you know, of course everyone in the audience is. Is saying, stop this. Stop talking about this. Yeah, but we want to know what makes somebody choose to do this. Side stories lpotl gmail.com what would. What the circumstances that you would have to be under to randomly have sex with a corpse that you've just found.
[41:38]
Marcus Parks
Yeah. I don't know. I don't think I. I don't think I could. I don't think it could ever happen. Even if it was my wife.
[41:50]
Henry Zebrowski
I don't know, buddy. I feel like we've walked into a whole area. I feel like we're in a. I'm trying to trouble. I feel like we're in a troubled zone here.
[42:02]
Marcus Parks
Or bleeped. Yeah. We probably should have said my wife, lifeless body.
[42:07]
Henry Zebrowski
It's mine. It's your wife. Yeah, it's your wife.
[42:11]
Marcus Parks
She can me when I'm dead.
[42:12]
Henry Zebrowski
I've always openly said it. Please me when I'm dead. I said, play with my dress. Me up in a dress. Sit on my face. Play with my corpse. And. And now these likes. Please stop.
[42:24]
Marcus Parks
Yeah.
[42:25]
Henry Zebrowski
And I'm like, this is romantic. Yeah.
[42:27]
Marcus Parks
I love you.
[42:28]
Henry Zebrowski
I love you.
[42:29]
Marcus Parks
You hear that, Julie? I love you.
[42:32]
Henry Zebrowski
He loves you so much, he wants you to play with his dead corpse.
[42:35]
Marcus Parks
Okay.
[42:35]
Henry Zebrowski
And again, Natalie says, stop being morbid. Stop talking about your corpse. And it's like, well, guess what? You've inherited.
[42:41]
Marcus Parks
Yeah.
[42:42]
Henry Zebrowski
Because you're a wife.
[42:43]
Marcus Parks
That's right.
[42:43]
Henry Zebrowski
So you get a husband's corpse. Eventually.
[42:46]
Marcus Parks
Asses to asses. Bust a bust. That's what I hope for.
[42:51]
Henry Zebrowski
Well, I'm really glad we covered this story because we learned so much and there was just so much to it.
[42:58]
Marcus Parks
Yes. No, it's very. It's very important news. It's weird, you know, because. What do you not tell people? I don't know. You know, let's just say if this happens, you gotta, like.
[43:10]
Henry Zebrowski
I don't know, it just seems to me spread them like a weird. Yeah, yeah. Just seems like a weird set of circumstances. And that's what we. That's what we investigate here.
[43:23]
Marcus Parks
Yeah. Well, in Texas, people get arrested for much more victimless crimes.
[43:30]
Henry Zebrowski
Of course. All. Every. All. Almost most of the crimes there, they kind of ignore the crimes that have victims.
[43:35]
Marcus Parks
Yeah. A man accused, I don't think he was arrested, of placing Easter eggs filled with weed all around his Texas town and then posting scavenger hunt clues on social media.
[43:50]
Henry Zebrowski
He did go too far because it's still legal there. And they are the type of nerds and shitheads and fuck faces that will arrest you for weed. Yeah. They have nothing better to do all day. They just sit all day and they can't wait to arrest you for weed. Especially if you're of the browner persuasion, like this man is.
[44:08]
Marcus Parks
Easter was on 420.
[44:10]
Henry Zebrowski
Exactly.
[44:11]
Marcus Parks
It is. That is. That's Pope Francis fault.
[44:14]
Henry Zebrowski
He could have.
[44:14]
Marcus Parks
Literally.
[44:16]
Henry Zebrowski
His one job is to manage the calendar.
[44:19]
Marcus Parks
Yeah.
[44:19]
Henry Zebrowski
Yeah.
[44:19]
Marcus Parks
You can't do that, Frankie.
[44:21]
Henry Zebrowski
Whatever, bro. Can't wait to see your robot access successor.
[44:25]
Marcus Parks
Yeah. Yeah. At least he won't make Easter on 420.
[44:29]
Henry Zebrowski
Pope chat.
[44:29]
Marcus Parks
PGPT trying to keep everyone stoned in front of their families.
[44:33]
Henry Zebrowski
Honestly, 420. It was nice. Honestly, it was really cool to have it be 420 on. On that day. It was awesome.
[44:38]
Marcus Parks
It was cool when we. We had a part. We had a 420 Easter party. You didn't come. No, but we. There were children there and then, you know, so we didn't smoke as much, but I. I smoked in the front yard. Good. None of those are my children.
[44:48]
Henry Zebrowski
No, them.
[44:49]
Marcus Parks
Yeah. And if they want me to talk to them, I gotta be high.
[44:52]
Henry Zebrowski
Oh, yeah. Do you want me to engage you with your kids? I'm gonna be stoned.
[44:55]
Marcus Parks
Yeah. So.
[44:56]
Henry Zebrowski
But yeah, this guy put. The problem is that he gave too many hints. And the weed doesn't look bad.
[45:03]
Marcus Parks
No, it doesn't. It's like, it's regs.
[45:05]
Henry Zebrowski
Yeah.
[45:05]
Marcus Parks
You know, it's rags.
[45:08]
Henry Zebrowski
That guy was a fun guy.
[45:09]
Marcus Parks
Officers found four eggs, and one was. They must have been really looking in three different parks. And one was found behind a Motel 6.
[45:17]
Henry Zebrowski
Is. You know, it's just such a waste of resources. This is such a massive waste of resources.
[45:26]
Marcus Parks
A fifth egg was found by a man and his granddaughter at Winston park the following day. And they brought it to police station.
[45:34]
Henry Zebrowski
What a narc.
[45:36]
Marcus Parks
Yeah.
[45:36]
Henry Zebrowski
What is this, dude? It's like, even your little girl, even if she eats it, it's not going to do anything to her. She can eat all the weed she wants. She's not going to get high, man.
[45:46]
Marcus Parks
Look, they tried to really make this guy look like a cr. He's just got kindness in his heart.
[45:51]
Henry Zebrowski
That's a fun idea. This is a victimless crime. This is just fun. The kids are yeah. Again, you can eat the actual weed and without it being cooked and fat.
[46:03]
Marcus Parks
Yeah, it just comes at your butt. I guess if it's in parks, children could find it and a child did find it.
[46:09]
Henry Zebrowski
And then guess what kid can sell it.
[46:12]
Marcus Parks
Yes.
[46:13]
Henry Zebrowski
Teaches them about business. Yes, yes, that's about business. It's supply and demand. Guess who's holding. Little Jeremy.
[46:21]
Marcus Parks
If this guy.
[46:23]
Henry Zebrowski
I'm looking for green and guess who's holding. Oh, you better come check out my. My boy Jeremy's got some. You just gotta roll by by recess. And then I go in there and I play kickball with all the kids and I get my weed. Dude, that's fun as hell.
[46:36]
Marcus Parks
Oh, he up. It was in a drug free zone. Too close to a school. Ah, that's where he messed up.
[46:44]
Henry Zebrowski
I feel like this guy should have done a little bit. But also I'll say to him, I think that he more research about where to probably put the eggs.
[46:50]
Marcus Parks
Yeah. Police station.
[46:52]
Henry Zebrowski
You know what also you do with something like this? I will say this to the people that I hope that this tradition continues. What I would like for people to do though is do this in a controlled environment.
[47:01]
Marcus Parks
Yeah.
[47:02]
Henry Zebrowski
Where you tell everybody that the within a closed group.
[47:05]
Marcus Parks
I used to do this.
[47:06]
Henry Zebrowski
Oh yeah.
[47:07]
Marcus Parks
In college when I sold weed. We had Easter egg hunts. We filled a lot of them with weed. Some of them we filled with trash, some with Xanax. I think I put little cocaine on one. And then, you know, we had an Easter egg hunt around the. Around my property.
[47:20]
Henry Zebrowski
See, that's around where I live. This is again, it is. No, it's. If everybody got really mad with the.
[47:26]
Marcus Parks
Guy who found most of the weed, didn't smoke, and then he sold it to someone at the party. I got really pissed off. Him. I don't even like him anymore.
[47:32]
Henry Zebrowski
You see? You know what's funny though? That's exactly what I proposed to that little Jeremy to do.
[47:37]
Marcus Parks
Yeah, I know, I know.
[47:38]
Henry Zebrowski
I don't mind that.
[47:39]
Marcus Parks
Now that I think about that, I don't like it. You give it away or you fucking smoke it.
[47:45]
Henry Zebrowski
Well, it's also weird to put that now I got to move all this weed.
[47:48]
Marcus Parks
Yeah.
[47:49]
Henry Zebrowski
Like that's weird.
[47:50]
Marcus Parks
You just give it to somebody.
[47:51]
Henry Zebrowski
Yeah. Or just quit being a dweeb and smoke it. Yeah, man, I'd have a panic attack. Break into gritsophrenia for a little while, then get medicated, if that's what your deal is gonna be.
[47:59]
Marcus Parks
Yeah.
[48:00]
Henry Zebrowski
Because guess what? It gives you a cool story. And then also guess what? It gets you to be a subject of a Ben Folds Five song.
[48:06]
Marcus Parks
Breaking up.
[48:07]
Henry Zebrowski
No, the one that you remember. The guy like Steven. Oh, last night in town.
[48:12]
Marcus Parks
You know, I really love that album.
[48:13]
Henry Zebrowski
Album? The rest of it does not hold up.
[48:16]
Marcus Parks
Really.
[48:16]
Henry Zebrowski
It's very not, it's not for us anymore.
[48:19]
Marcus Parks
I, I remember. I love it because of high school theater.
[48:21]
Henry Zebrowski
But same.
[48:22]
Marcus Parks
And we used to always. The cute girls would always dance around listening to it.
[48:25]
Henry Zebrowski
Oh yeah.
[48:25]
Marcus Parks
That's why I love it.
[48:26]
Henry Zebrowski
Of course you do. You remember that. Do you remember those little girls? Now he's off the show.
[48:36]
Marcus Parks
From your grave.
[48:38]
Henry Zebrowski
Are you an annoying co worker sending emails when everyone else is sleeping? Do they ask, how do you sleep at night? Then you should go to Mattress Firm. They have knowledgeable sleep experts that can help you find a better bed. Like a Tempur Pedic. It has technology to keep you cool at night. Meaning anyone, even people like you can sleep. Get matched at Mattress Firm Sleep at night Restrictions apply. See store website for details. All right, here we go. We got another one. This is a. This is just another good short and sweet one. One.
[49:15]
Marcus Parks
Okay.
[49:16]
Henry Zebrowski
Southwest flights, we love them.
[49:18]
Marcus Parks
I, you know, I hate Southwest.
[49:20]
Henry Zebrowski
No, I'll never go on one ever again. I'd rather walk.
[49:23]
Marcus Parks
Well, I heard they, I heard they, they're getting rid of the far and away type seating.
[49:27]
Henry Zebrowski
Yes, they are getting rid of the strongest wins.
[49:31]
Marcus Parks
Yeah. Seating arrangement, assigned seats. I, I. Bare minimum.
[49:35]
Henry Zebrowski
It's the bare minimum also.
[49:36]
Marcus Parks
Greatest thing that ever happened to the movies.
[49:38]
Henry Zebrowski
I will never. I always remember how long New York held on to not having the ticketed seats. And it's like, guys, do we have to be the coolest city in the world Always? This is the dumbest shit. Just let us assign seats so that we can show up when the movie. When we want to.
[49:53]
Marcus Parks
Yeah, because you would have to show up like an hour early, save a whole row for all your friends, and then they wouldn't show up late. And then you're like, people like, let me sit there. Like I have my friend.
[50:02]
Henry Zebrowski
But I do miss the game a little bit. Yeah, a little bit. I miss the game. This used to be a little bit more because then you get to talk to your neighbor.
[50:07]
Marcus Parks
Neighbor.
[50:08]
Henry Zebrowski
And yell at your neighbor. So now Southwest is trying to rejuvenate itself. Now a woman, this was on from Philly to Chicago.
[50:18]
Marcus Parks
She nothing but class.
[50:19]
Henry Zebrowski
I feel like this, I can see this woman in my mind. This woman took off her pants.
[50:27]
Marcus Parks
Yeah.
[50:28]
Henry Zebrowski
And stripped down naked. Fully nude.
[50:31]
Marcus Parks
Yes.
[50:32]
Henry Zebrowski
And sharp. Took a full on a plane seat.
[50:37]
Marcus Parks
While it was landing.
[50:39]
Henry Zebrowski
Hey, you know what? At least she waited to the landing.
[50:42]
Marcus Parks
Yeah.
[50:42]
Henry Zebrowski
Yeah.
[50:43]
Marcus Parks
Well, that's the time when you're surfing, you know? Like, you're just. Like, you never do bus surfing, you know? And you try. You just. You're in the aisle and you try not to touch anything. You're just surfing. You're just trying to do it. She was doing that, but on her seat while the plane's landing, making that poo poo.
[50:56]
Henry Zebrowski
I feel like it's something else.
[50:57]
Marcus Parks
Yeah, yeah. But I'm just saying I'm impressed. She was able to shit while it was landing.
[51:03]
Henry Zebrowski
I think that.
[51:04]
Marcus Parks
Do you think she was holding onto the back of the seat?
[51:06]
Henry Zebrowski
Yes. I also feel like at this point.
[51:07]
Marcus Parks
She'S staring into someone's eyes.
[51:09]
Henry Zebrowski
Very much so. And I think that because you know what I'd do in this scenario?
[51:13]
Marcus Parks
What?
[51:13]
Henry Zebrowski
Nothing.
[51:14]
Marcus Parks
Oh, no. I mean, what are you gonna do?
[51:16]
Henry Zebrowski
I would. If I sat next to a woman.
[51:19]
Marcus Parks
Please don't.
[51:20]
Henry Zebrowski
Please stop. Yeah, that's it. That's as far as I. That's as far as I go. I would just stare forward. I would just not react and just, like, let this plane land. Let this plane land. All I want to do is exit this plane.
[51:34]
Marcus Parks
That's it.
[51:35]
Henry Zebrowski
I don't need to. You know what? I'll live with it. I'll live with this woman's cloaca sheared. Is that. No, that's not the woman people just get naked on. I just saw another naked plan, you know. Ah, God. I just. Oh, the ladies. Ladies being naked on planes. This is another Southwest flight from a. A month ago.
[51:54]
Marcus Parks
Oh, wow.
[51:55]
Henry Zebrowski
Where she just stripped nude and walked around. I. Man, I don't know you're going to spend this much money and fuck it all up.
[52:02]
Marcus Parks
Yeah. It's not like flights are cheap.
[52:04]
Henry Zebrowski
No.
[52:05]
Marcus Parks
And then you're definitely going to jail.
[52:07]
Henry Zebrowski
Yes.
[52:07]
Marcus Parks
Do people go crazy in the air and I just don't know about it?
[52:10]
Henry Zebrowski
Well, one thing that is certain is we know that alcoholic drinks have an exaggerated effect.
[52:16]
Marcus Parks
Yes.
[52:16]
Henry Zebrowski
When you're in the air. And people do tend to get real fucking lit up before getting on the plane.
[52:22]
Marcus Parks
Yeah.
[52:23]
Henry Zebrowski
Which is not like. I find it to be one of the worst ideas possible. You just get sick on the plane.
[52:29]
Marcus Parks
Yeah. Ever tell you about the woman I saw who got, like, hammered at the bar? And I remember clocking her at the bar, like, that chick's getting hammered. And then I saw her get on my plane, and then in the middle of the flight, she just attacked the woman next to her just started scratching her. And then the poor like, Stewart had to like hold her down for an hour so we didn't have to land in some random city, you know, that's what's great.
[52:47]
Henry Zebrowski
Flight attendant.
[52:48]
Marcus Parks
Yeah.
[52:49]
Henry Zebrowski
Oh, honestly, I was very impressed by flight attendant.
[52:51]
Marcus Parks
And then I was like, hey man, I ratted her out. I was like, she was getting hammered at the bar. I saw her, I was like, I clocked that shit. And she was getting hammered with that chick back there. And like. And I. So I ratted him out. And they know what they did. 50 bucks United money.
[53:03]
Henry Zebrowski
You fucking, fucking 50. Fucking stool pigeon. 50 bucks, you fucking narc. You fucking stooly bitch.
[53:11]
Marcus Parks
United Bucks.
[53:13]
Henry Zebrowski
$50.
[53:14]
Marcus Parks
Unbelievable.
[53:17]
Henry Zebrowski
People down the river.
[53:18]
Marcus Parks
She was drinking with her $50.
[53:22]
Henry Zebrowski
You know, I get it though. I get it. There's got to be some. Just this world, you know, she's. It's just. I don't get it. I'll never get it. But hey, I'm also serene.
[53:33]
Marcus Parks
It's so weird. I used to like had to drink when I got on flights. Now it's just like a burden.
[53:38]
Henry Zebrowski
Well, I like a truly favorite, super hungover, very early morning flight, one drink, I'm pass out. No. Favorite vibe in the world. Yeah, favorite.
[53:49]
Marcus Parks
But you've been what you call it, Raw. Dogging it lately.
[53:53]
Henry Zebrowski
I do. I raw dog flights all the time.
[53:55]
Marcus Parks
That's wild.
[53:55]
Henry Zebrowski
No music, no movies.
[53:57]
Marcus Parks
It just sit there straight ahead.
[53:59]
Henry Zebrowski
Yep.
[53:59]
Marcus Parks
Why do you do that?
[54:01]
Henry Zebrowski
I don't know.
[54:01]
Marcus Parks
What do you think about?
[54:03]
Henry Zebrowski
Oh, so all sorts of things.
[54:05]
Marcus Parks
Yeah. You just get angry sometimes.
[54:07]
Henry Zebrowski
Sometimes I get sad.
[54:08]
Marcus Parks
Oh, okay.
[54:09]
Henry Zebrowski
Sometimes I laugh.
[54:10]
Marcus Parks
Oh, thank God.
[54:11]
Henry Zebrowski
Sometimes I think about stuff. Sometimes in my head I'm so.
[54:15]
Marcus Parks
I think if you just start laughing, that's terrifying. Dogging it for two hours and all of a sudden you just start giggling.
[54:23]
Henry Zebrowski
Yeah. This is a funny part. This is a funny part right here.
[54:27]
Marcus Parks
I love this movie.
[54:29]
Henry Zebrowski
Just watching the flight. Is watching the flight tracker.
[54:32]
Marcus Parks
I put that.
[54:35]
Henry Zebrowski
They think we're making it to Phoenix.
[54:38]
Marcus Parks
Go left. Left.
[54:41]
Henry Zebrowski
No, I. You know what it is is that sometimes I just don't want to choose a thing to listen to or watch.
[54:46]
Marcus Parks
Yeah.
[54:46]
Henry Zebrowski
Sometimes I'm so weighed down by the burden of that choice that I'd rather. And now I got your stupid fruit version game.
[54:54]
Marcus Parks
I love my fruit game.
[54:55]
Henry Zebrowski
So I do the stupid fruit game.
[54:56]
Marcus Parks
It's good. Yeah, I've been trying to write it. Not thinking.
[54:59]
Henry Zebrowski
Yes, it really does.
[55:00]
Marcus Parks
It really helps not think. I appreciate that.
[55:03]
Henry Zebrowski
One other thing I wanted to talk about. This is a I don't know what the fuck is going on with this story. I want to know what you guys say. Side stories. Lpotl gmail.com. the Connecticut Cannibal.
[55:13]
Marcus Parks
Oh, yeah.
[55:14]
Henry Zebrowski
A man by the name of Tyree Smith.
[55:16]
Marcus Parks
Have you heard of the Smith man?
[55:17]
Henry Zebrowski
No.
[55:18]
Marcus Parks
Okay.
[55:18]
Henry Zebrowski
Connecticut Valley Hospital. He was in. I guess in a hospital for the criminally insane or whatever. He's in one of those. He was accused of hacking a man to death with an ax in Bridgeport and then eating part of the victim's brain and his eyeball.
[55:31]
Marcus Parks
His roommate.
[55:31]
Henry Zebrowski
His roommate, yeah.
[55:33]
Marcus Parks
Somehow was Angel.
[55:35]
Henry Zebrowski
I believe that he was. I have no idea what's going on. I know that obviously this is one of those. I hate stumbling into a thing where we're not talking about Republican talking points here. I just don't understand how he was allowed to get out. Unconditional release. So he's released. They're saying he's stable, he's done. He's completely ready to go. Not crazy at all.
[55:57]
Marcus Parks
But he also got in this huge fight in prison and they had to remove him from being around other inmates. Yes. And so he wasn't around. Allowed to be around other inmates. But still he's being released.
[56:08]
Henry Zebrowski
We beat a man to death and sucked out his eyeball and ate chunk of his brain.
[56:13]
Marcus Parks
Yeah.
[56:14]
Henry Zebrowski
And now it's just like, all right, you've learned your lesson. You get out there. Why don't you work for Chipotle? You mean, like, I don't know what this guy's going to go do. What is the Connecticut.
[56:25]
Marcus Parks
I don't think you should be a cook.
[56:28]
Henry Zebrowski
Unless he's amazing. Like, what does he do? I feel like, again, I'm fine with.
[56:34]
Marcus Parks
It's a conditional release. So he's watching it back in.
[56:37]
Henry Zebrowski
They're in, like, a halfway house. I just don't even know how the hell he was even allowed to have a conditional release. Because part of me, I really do believe in the idea of the. Of you must. If we're going to rehabilitate people, if we're going to let people back.
[56:48]
Marcus Parks
I want people to be rehabilitated utterly.
[56:50]
Henry Zebrowski
And I want there to be an immediate portal for them to go into. I love the idea of them having some form of vocational training.
[56:58]
Marcus Parks
Yeah.
[56:58]
Henry Zebrowski
Within jail or education or something like that that allows them to leave jail and do stuff. Right. Be able to leave prison, have a job, be a. I honestly think a cook, barber, like those types of skilled laborers that don't require advanced degrees is extremely good work for somebody.
[57:18]
Marcus Parks
But he was Found officially not guilty by insanity.
[57:24]
Henry Zebrowski
So that's what. I guess that's the real difference here. And I feel like I'd love to actually have somebody explain that to me. Side Stories, lpotlmail.com because I'd love to know. Because what I've heard about getting and not guilty by reasons of insanity is that oftentimes it is way worse than going to jail.
[57:45]
Marcus Parks
Well, yeah, because you have to be in a loony bin.
[57:47]
Henry Zebrowski
You have to go.
[57:48]
Marcus Parks
I guess that's the wrong thing to say.
[57:49]
Henry Zebrowski
I mean, I think that it's appropriate for that. I think that you can call where they're going the loony bin. And you can call it. It's like a place for the criminally insane. Yeah, like that. That's type. That type of place.
[58:00]
Marcus Parks
I guess the loony bin's too cute to call it.
[58:04]
Henry Zebrowski
So you know who in my mind is. It's like Martin Bryant.
[58:08]
Marcus Parks
Yes.
[58:09]
Henry Zebrowski
He's in the loony bin.
[58:10]
Marcus Parks
Yes.
[58:10]
Henry Zebrowski
You know what I mean? Like, he. That guy's in the loony bin. There's another guy. It was like all of those guys, like, people. Real super villains.
[58:17]
Marcus Parks
Yeah.
[58:18]
Henry Zebrowski
Are in the loony bin. This guy was, like, put into this scenario. But what I've heard is that they can sort of keep you indefinitely. Like, you are supposed to be there. But it's like, how can you tell when some guy's like, listen, it was a rough month for me. Totally not a cannibal anymore. Anymore. And it's like, how do you tell?
[58:36]
Marcus Parks
Yeah, how do you tell? Well, you got to put an eyeball in front of him, see if he sucks it up.
[58:40]
Henry Zebrowski
I was tasting it. That's all I do. He's sucking on his own fingers. I'm gross.
[58:49]
Marcus Parks
Yeah.
[58:49]
Henry Zebrowski
I want a hot woman brain. Roommate's brain.
[58:54]
Marcus Parks
Yeah, I mean, brain. I don't think a brain would be the first part I ate.
[58:58]
Henry Zebrowski
You should never eat a man's brain. Brain.
[59:00]
Marcus Parks
No.
[59:00]
Henry Zebrowski
Ever. It's extremely bad. That's how you get those. That's how you get one of those crazy. What's it. The. Those. Those prion diseases. Like, you shouldn't really be eating any brain, but if you are going to be eating brain, it needs to be very well cooked.
[59:13]
Marcus Parks
We've had sweet breads.
[59:14]
Henry Zebrowski
Sweet breads is other glands. That's the.
[59:17]
Marcus Parks
Oh, I thought that was brain.
[59:18]
Henry Zebrowski
No, that's the thalamus gland. That's like the. These things. Oh, yeah. Yeah.
[59:22]
Marcus Parks
This whole time I thought I was eating brain.
[59:24]
Henry Zebrowski
No, I've had brain. They.
[59:25]
Marcus Parks
When they.
[59:25]
Henry Zebrowski
When you're eating brain. They tell you it's brain.
[59:27]
Marcus Parks
Oh, okay. I thought they were just trying to, like, skirt around it being, you know, brain. And it's.
[59:32]
Henry Zebrowski
They were calling it. It's something else is just as gross. Technically, it is the thymus or pancreatic glands of certain animals. Okay, yeah, so it is gross, but they are way tastier than brains. I think brains are actually really gross.
[59:44]
Marcus Parks
Now that I know I'm eating pancreas. Let's have some poppers, man.
[59:48]
Henry Zebrowski
I love sweet Brits.
[59:49]
Marcus Parks
Yeah.
[59:50]
Henry Zebrowski
I love sweet.
[59:51]
Marcus Parks
So what are these? A brain. Just called fried brain.
[59:53]
Henry Zebrowski
Oh, yeah. So when you.
[59:54]
Marcus Parks
Or the brain, you were like. I would take. I'll take the brain, please.
[59:58]
Henry Zebrowski
Yes, I've had lamb's brain.
[60:00]
Marcus Parks
Really?
[60:00]
Henry Zebrowski
Yes. I've also had. Where do you do this? That was at a place in Atlanta. That was at that. The. My. One of my favorite places. Holman and Finch. I've had.
[60:09]
Marcus Parks
We went to a place. What was it called? Meat. Animal.
[60:13]
Henry Zebrowski
Animal. That was a while ago, I think.
[60:15]
Marcus Parks
I don't even know if it's still around.
[60:16]
Henry Zebrowski
No, it's gone. It's gone. That had Stuff like that. I also, like. Brain is very classically served with eggs. So they make brain and egg tacos quite often where they will cook up brain with eggs because they're actually very similar.
[60:31]
Marcus Parks
Cooked brain is referred to as sweet breads, specifically calf or lambre.
[60:36]
Henry Zebrowski
I mean, I feel like this is Google AI. It's just not the.
[60:39]
Marcus Parks
We gotta stop using Google AI.
[60:41]
Henry Zebrowski
It's a mixture of different sources here.
[60:43]
Marcus Parks
Okay, all right, all right, all right.
[60:44]
Henry Zebrowski
Yes. Most of the time, there's a lot of brain. Yeah, it's a lot of brain. People do a lot of brain. Because again, it's like, I don't mind you using all of the animal, but you have to be. It has to be very well cooked.
[60:53]
Marcus Parks
Well, I hope this guy does. No more crimes.
[60:56]
Henry Zebrowski
You know what, Eddie? Me too.
[60:57]
Marcus Parks
Yeah.
[60:57]
Henry Zebrowski
I hope that this was. He's learned his lesson and he's over it, you know?
[61:02]
Marcus Parks
And you know what, bud? If you're listening and you're in Connecticut, I hear the pizza's great.
[61:08]
Henry Zebrowski
New Haven, supposed to have the best.
[61:10]
Marcus Parks
He's in Bridgeport.
[61:11]
Henry Zebrowski
So take the bus over to New Haven, and then what you do is get over there, and that's where you should focus your eating habits on.
[61:20]
Marcus Parks
Yeah.
[61:20]
Henry Zebrowski
Pizza.
[61:21]
Marcus Parks
Yeah.
[61:22]
Henry Zebrowski
Not people.
[61:24]
Marcus Parks
Now, I wanted to touch on this real quick, just because we had, you know, we talked about Lori and, you know, there's a lot of stuff going on with our, with our Mormon talks. I was doing a lot of Mormon talk and stuff.
[61:36]
Henry Zebrowski
Oh yes.
[61:37]
Marcus Parks
But so obviously Utah, home of most Mormons, right? 80% of Mormon population.
[61:42]
Henry Zebrowski
Yeah, pretty much. Something like that. Yeah.
[61:44]
Marcus Parks
Apparently. I found this on fark. I love fart.
[61:47]
Henry Zebrowski
Love far.
[61:48]
Marcus Parks
First cousins can legally get married in Utah.
[61:53]
Henry Zebrowski
Congrats. Yeah, yeah, I know. They've been fighting for that for a while and cuz like it's just so hard cuz especially you know what's great about a first cousin? It's like they're made to be for you specifically. Cuz they're in your family.
[62:05]
Marcus Parks
Yeah. You're the puzzle pieces. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[62:08]
Henry Zebrowski
But.
[62:08]
Marcus Parks
But there are stipulations.
[62:10]
Henry Zebrowski
What the is this? I thought this was America.
[62:12]
Marcus Parks
You can only get married to your first cousin in Utah if both parties are over the age of 65.
[62:21]
Henry Zebrowski
So fucking gross. Or.
[62:24]
Marcus Parks
Or if both are 55 and unable to reproduce.
[62:29]
Henry Zebrowski
Oh great.
[62:30]
Marcus Parks
So if you're 55 and sterile, you can marry your first cousin.
[62:33]
Henry Zebrowski
So this whole thing is based off a bunch of shithead 80 year old pedophile senators that are all like the difference here. We can't make no web feet mongers.
[62:44]
Marcus Parks
Yeah.
[62:45]
Henry Zebrowski
That's what we can't have. We can't have simpletons walking around with bat wings and forearms.
[62:50]
Marcus Parks
I've known my cousin my whole life. I put my time in, I am allowed.
[62:55]
Henry Zebrowski
And normally my cousin and I, we stick to oral sex so that no procreation can be done. Because I agree. I don't want a child with a fin. I don't want a child with a pterodactyl's protuberance that allows them to whistle and create a sound that can cascade for miles. What I need is the ability to fuck my.
[63:15]
Marcus Parks
So I.
[63:16]
Henry Zebrowski
And that's the issue here right now. Y'all know me. That's the issue here is we don't want no web feet.
[63:22]
Marcus Parks
Yeah.
[63:22]
Henry Zebrowski
So let's once. Let's just have an agreement. Once the. The I'm gonna say the vagina graveyard is empty of eggs, the ghosts are allowed back in the cemetery. You know what I mean?
[63:37]
Marcus Parks
That's right. That's right. It's the spooky, spooky ghost cemetery jail.
[63:42]
Henry Zebrowski
Once I go, once all the skeletons.
[63:44]
Marcus Parks
Are out of that. Yeah.
[63:45]
Henry Zebrowski
Ladies, vaginal cemetery. You could fill up all those caskets and every divot with as much liquid ghost as you could make.
[63:53]
Marcus Parks
Oh yeah, they are dead.
[63:55]
Henry Zebrowski
Oh yeah, they are dead. They are.
[63:56]
Marcus Parks
They are not moving.
[63:57]
Henry Zebrowski
But guess what's not though. Come yeah, come never dies.
[64:00]
Marcus Parks
Well, I mean, if you can't. I mean, would he just be shooting dead sperm?
[64:05]
Henry Zebrowski
No, it's the opposite. Is that. It's also interesting is that it's still pressure on the female cousin to not be able to have babies anymore. Because this is definitely not about. This is about condomless sex with a cousin.
[64:18]
Marcus Parks
Yes.
[64:19]
Henry Zebrowski
That's what this is about. Right. This is about not having to worry about it. Right. And so you could just jazz inside there. But the thing is, is that your cummy cum lives for forever. Tony Randall had babies until he was like 83.
[64:31]
Marcus Parks
I mean, de Niro and Pacino just had babies.
[64:34]
Henry Zebrowski
Oh, yeah, absolutely. Of course, their babies are half ghost. Yes, they are. They are. They come out with little gray beards.
[64:41]
Marcus Parks
They're just gonna fuck. The kid's gonna be 10 when they die.
[64:44]
Henry Zebrowski
Well, that's the goal. Honestly, in the end, it's. By that point it's fine. Then. Then by that point you don't want them around anymore.
[64:49]
Marcus Parks
Yeah. You know, in Utah, you can also marry a minor.
[64:52]
Henry Zebrowski
Oh, that's so nice. For the entire.
[64:55]
Marcus Parks
Not someone who digs. Oh, no.
[64:57]
Henry Zebrowski
A child. Because that actually comes from my. I have a joke about that.
[65:02]
Marcus Parks
Yeah. You could be 16 or 17 years old.
[65:05]
Henry Zebrowski
Here, you want a preview of all my stand up. I had a little stand up idea the other day.
[65:08]
Marcus Parks
Oh, nice.
[65:08]
Henry Zebrowski
This is what to write, right? I have a couple standup ideas.
[65:12]
Marcus Parks
Okay, let's do it. Everybody's a gentleman. Coming to the stage, Henry Zabrowski hitting the road.
[65:18]
Henry Zebrowski
I decided to write this down. Every time I see young female teacher rapes minor, first thing I think, damn, she got through all them leather vests. Leather vests, Like a minor's protective clothing.
[65:32]
Marcus Parks
They don't have leather vests. They got like jeans and like overalls and like, you know, like, it's not.
[65:38]
Henry Zebrowski
A well thought out, out comp. It's not a well thought out setup. Got through all the soot.
[65:46]
Marcus Parks
I think soot is a good one.
[65:48]
Henry Zebrowski
Writing it down.
[65:49]
Marcus Parks
Yes. Yeah, punch it up. Punch it up. But yes, the. The minor in Utah will need a parents or legal guardian to sign.
[65:59]
Henry Zebrowski
Oh, and that's so that you can't even get that. So that's got to be so that. I mean, good for the kids. But that's finally some freaking freedom.
[66:06]
Marcus Parks
Senator Jen Plum is actually sponsoring a bill right now to change all of that. She wants it to change it to. A minor can only get married if the age gap is 7 to 4 years. So they can marry a 23 year old with a signed permission.
[66:22]
Henry Zebrowski
A 16 year old.
[66:23]
Marcus Parks
A 16 year old can marry a 23 year old. A 17 year old can marry a 24 year old.
[66:28]
Henry Zebrowski
Why you tell me what to do?
[66:29]
Marcus Parks
Sign permission.
[66:30]
Henry Zebrowski
Why is anybody telling me what to do ever?
[66:32]
Marcus Parks
Why not 18? Just wait.
[66:35]
Henry Zebrowski
Because that's when they're old and gross. Eddie, you're right. 16 is when they're perfect. That is when you want a wife. They're the most reasonable. And that's exactly great decision makers. And 16 year olds are also so interesting.
[66:49]
Marcus Parks
Yeah.
[66:50]
Henry Zebrowski
They have so many thoughts to say. Yeah. Wow. There's 19 US states, it's legal to marry a first couple cousin.
[66:58]
Marcus Parks
Really?
[66:58]
Henry Zebrowski
Wow.
[66:59]
Marcus Parks
Okay.
[66:59]
Henry Zebrowski
And in Vermont.
[67:00]
Marcus Parks
Wow. Utah's not on the list.
[67:02]
Henry Zebrowski
Not any. Soon to be added. Soon to be added. So that makes 20. 20 states go up. Wow. We are. People say that, man. People say that we are sliding into a crevice.
[67:16]
Marcus Parks
You know, California's on the list.
[67:18]
Henry Zebrowski
Oh yeah. Yeah. Well it's cuz we got hotter cousins here.
[67:21]
Marcus Parks
That's right.
[67:22]
Henry Zebrowski
Now speaking of sliding into the crevice. Us, I also want to give an opportunity to our people. So we're about to wrap up today's episode and get some letters. But it's hard out there right now.
[67:33]
Marcus Parks
Yeah.
[67:34]
Henry Zebrowski
Economically, people are suffering, especially deep within our rust belts in the Midwest. So I want to give a big shout out to the listeners in the Lansing area. I want you to know, I want to let you know. Saturday, May 17, Deja Vu Showgirls, the prettiest butthole in Michigan competition is beginning.
[67:54]
Marcus Parks
We.
[67:55]
Henry Zebrowski
We missed it there. No, 17th. Dude, I know we were just coming. But it's coming up. No, but we haven't missed it yet. The celebrity guest host just engagement party on the 17th.
[68:06]
Marcus Parks
Do you think I could blow it off?
[68:07]
Henry Zebrowski
Yes.
[68:08]
Marcus Parks
My cousin Mitchell and Melody, they're gonna get married and they want me to come to a pool party for their engagement.
[68:13]
Henry Zebrowski
Boring ass.
[68:14]
Marcus Parks
And you know, they're. They're very cute and they're very nice. They bought me a coffee maker recently for almost no reason. But the clean, cleanest butthole in Michigan.
[68:23]
Henry Zebrowski
See?
[68:24]
Marcus Parks
How clean could the cleanest butthole in Michigan be?
[68:27]
Henry Zebrowski
Prettiest.
[68:28]
Marcus Parks
Oh, prettiest.
[68:29]
Henry Zebrowski
Prettiest butthole in Michigan competition. It is Saturday, May 17th. Over at Deja Vu Showgirls, the celebrity guest host, Jason Vest and Yitty Lunch.
[68:39]
Marcus Parks
I never heard of him.
[68:40]
Henry Zebrowski
Who is not Kid Rock.
[68:43]
Marcus Parks
Oh, it's a.
[68:44]
Henry Zebrowski
An always Yitty lunch.
[68:46]
Marcus Parks
Interesting. The. It's a man. A man.
[68:48]
Henry Zebrowski
No, that one. That contestant Was a man. Oh, okay.
[68:52]
Marcus Parks
So. So this is a co ed competition.
[68:55]
Henry Zebrowski
I think that Yitty Lunch was.
[68:56]
Marcus Parks
Is this a male strip club?
[68:58]
Henry Zebrowski
No. I don't know.
[69:00]
Marcus Parks
There's a woman getting real close to that butthole with a camera.
[69:02]
Henry Zebrowski
Well, that's just because, again, she is the person doing the footage. Interesting. So this is Giddy Lunch, which I do believe he was on something. He's done a couple of these. He did Pretty Butthole in Michigan, I. I guess last year.
[69:17]
Marcus Parks
Oh, okay.
[69:18]
Henry Zebrowski
So this is last year they did at the Deja Vu Showgirls, Lansing. I want to see who won it.
[69:23]
Marcus Parks
The Pink package is $500.
[69:25]
Henry Zebrowski
See the. You have two level of tickets here. Obviously, we don't want to cut into our own ticket sales, but the pre sale ticket is only a $30 ticket. That's just for admission. But you can get the Pink package for five guests with $500.
[69:38]
Marcus Parks
Oh, it's sold.
[69:38]
Henry Zebrowski
Package.
[69:39]
Marcus Parks
The whole show. Sold out.
[69:41]
Henry Zebrowski
You have to. You have to be a contestant.
[69:42]
Marcus Parks
Oh, you could be a judge for five grand.
[69:44]
Henry Zebrowski
Five grand. You're going to be a. It is. But the VIP seating allows you to get up close. It's sold out. Wow.
[69:52]
Marcus Parks
The pink package is sold out.
[69:53]
Henry Zebrowski
Guess what you get. You get also a meet and greet with the winner of the competition. Now, the reason why we're even talking about this is obviously Jod Arus has one of the nicest buttholes in all of true crime. But I wonder.
[70:06]
Marcus Parks
She's in Arizona.
[70:07]
Henry Zebrowski
She's in. She's incarcerated. She can't get there. And so who do we think in true crime currently would we put up for the prettiest butthole in Michigan?
[70:19]
Marcus Parks
In Michigan. I don't even know who commits crimes in Michigan.
[70:22]
Henry Zebrowski
A lot of people.
[70:23]
Marcus Parks
Most people maybe. I know it's not the Domicon Sioux. Who's that defensive lineman? No, yeah, yeah, yeah.
[70:32]
Henry Zebrowski
Like I would say, prettiest butthole in Michigan.
[70:36]
Marcus Parks
Bob Seeger's niece.
[70:38]
Henry Zebrowski
Ugh. Eddie. Just the term niece. Just the term niece. Like 60, probably, I imagine. All right, celebrities from Michigan. Blair. Selma. Blair's got a great butthole. Madonna definitely's got a great butthole.
[70:52]
Marcus Parks
I don't know if Madonna currently has a great butthole.
[70:54]
Henry Zebrowski
I bet you her butthole now is probably more refurbished than ever.
[70:58]
Marcus Parks
Vern Troyer's dead. Oh, I'm sorry. But he's so.
[71:01]
Henry Zebrowski
But honestly, though, if it wasn't for, Vern Troyer would be my number one.
[71:06]
Marcus Parks
Elaine Stretch. Are you Elaine Stretch?
[71:10]
Henry Zebrowski
More like lunch. EVERYBODY laugh.
[71:16]
Marcus Parks
Eminem. Eminem's I bet Eminem has a very beautiful butthole.
[71:20]
Henry Zebrowski
I think Anthony Petis's child, Shepard Dax.
[71:23]
Marcus Parks
I mean, how do you beat Dax Shepard?
[71:25]
Henry Zebrowski
I mean, I.
[71:26]
Marcus Parks
You know, he is the Prettiest in Park podcast.
[71:29]
Henry Zebrowski
I imagine if there was one beautiful in podcasting.
[71:33]
Marcus Parks
Stevie Wonder does not have a nice.
[71:35]
Henry Zebrowski
Yes, he does. He doesn't know if it's clean or not. Yes, he does. He has people who watch. And he's been doing it enough. No, we now know. Right, Eddie, what did we learn from Motown? We went to the Motown Museum.
[71:46]
Marcus Parks
Yes.
[71:47]
Henry Zebrowski
And we learned that Stevie Wonder, the guy that started Motown, innocent guy. He's a Barry Gordon, one of the most innocent people.
[71:54]
Marcus Parks
Did anything.
[71:55]
Henry Zebrowski
Not a single.
[71:55]
Marcus Parks
Not a one thing.
[71:56]
Henry Zebrowski
He definitely. He set up this thing where they had a house where the guy, one of the guys that was on the crew, would set, would go ahead of time to the places the original Motown performed performers were going to perform live.
[72:09]
Marcus Parks
Yeah.
[72:09]
Henry Zebrowski
He would draw up the dimensions of the stage.
[72:11]
Marcus Parks
Yeah. Like, they had no living room. They would just perform in it.
[72:14]
Henry Zebrowski
Yes. And so they would get everybody used to the stage. And one of the ways they taught young Stevie Wonder how to do stuff was that they would set up the stage inside of this house to the letter and show him. This is how many steps it takes to get.
[72:27]
Marcus Parks
Yes. 15 steps to the microphone.
[72:29]
Henry Zebrowski
This is the steps to get to the chair. And so he's. He would work it and work it to the point. Point. Which started the conspiracy theories that Stevie Wonder could see. Right. All this stuff, which I still believe he could see. I utterly believe he can see. And. But I think that's a part of it. And I also think that you wipe your butthole for this long and you're blind. I bet you. Side storytelpt potlmail.com My blind listeners. How clean's your butthole? Yeah.
[72:53]
Marcus Parks
I bet you they don't know.
[72:54]
Henry Zebrowski
No. I bet you their buttholes are cleaner than anybody else because their fingers are more sensitive.
[72:58]
Marcus Parks
And they could smell it. Because that's a smell. Is. Is. Is better than ours.
[73:02]
Henry Zebrowski
I mean, I don't know. Yeah, that's a very dare.
[73:04]
Marcus Parks
They could be like, oh, it don't smell like shit.
[73:05]
Henry Zebrowski
That's very.
[73:06]
Marcus Parks
Well, yeah.
[73:07]
Henry Zebrowski
I don't if I'm.
[73:08]
Marcus Parks
I still think Dax Shepard has the prettiest asshole in Michigan.
[73:12]
Henry Zebrowski
Send your vote in. Oh, Richard Keel. Oh, yeah, the guy from Jaws, from the Spy who Loved Me in Moonraker.
[73:21]
Marcus Parks
Man, you know, Jack White's asshole is a mess.
[73:24]
Henry Zebrowski
No, I want nowhere near Jack.
[73:25]
Marcus Parks
That is it that is a dirty, dirty asshole.
[73:27]
Henry Zebrowski
I want nowhere near near that Chris Weber. And one same time though, I weirdly think that swish Elaine Stritch. She might not have that bad of an. From back in the day.
[73:38]
Marcus Parks
I think Elaine Stretch probably doesn't wonder she was a theater unless she had.
[73:42]
Henry Zebrowski
Unless she had the big old roids.
[73:44]
Marcus Parks
Yeah. No.
[73:45]
Henry Zebrowski
But hey.
[73:46]
Marcus Parks
Oh yeah.
[73:46]
Henry Zebrowski
Look at ladies who lunch. Hopefully that lunch included some salads.
[73:50]
Marcus Parks
Stretch me, baby.
[73:52]
Henry Zebrowski
Let's get some letters. Number one got a lot of pushback about all our friend Captain Ron talking about the telepathy tapes. I do agree. I started listening to the telepathy tapes. Part of what they're saying is, is that they do believe that extremely autistic non verbal autistic people can. Can communicate telepathically. There is some. Like it's so hard because at the very end of the series it's like some things are interesting. The idea that maybe close family bonds. We don't really. That can create some kind of telepathic communication. The idea that we don't understand when consciousness is. We don't know where it comes from. I still believe that a big question. We don't really know what makes us us and why we are us and where we come from as our. Like literally where do our personalities come from. But then it starts going into the idea that non verbal autistic people can predict the future.
[74:42]
Marcus Parks
They can.
[74:43]
Henry Zebrowski
I mean, I hope. And then where were they? Where were they?
[74:47]
Marcus Parks
Then they were screaming and no one listen.
[74:49]
Henry Zebrowski
Exactly. But then there is also some people that like, they believe that they. They can. They're talking to ghosts and they're doing. So it kind of goes off the rails a little bit. But you know, it's not. It's just very popular.
[75:02]
Marcus Parks
They're gonna speak at Contact. We should go and watch.
[75:06]
Henry Zebrowski
We should challenge them.
[75:07]
Marcus Parks
I don't know about that.
[75:08]
Henry Zebrowski
I should be like, what am I thinking?
[75:10]
Marcus Parks
Oh, scan me, scan me, scan me.
[75:13]
Henry Zebrowski
What am I thinking? So there's that. We've got the mummified Pope. Quick story.
[75:23]
Marcus Parks
Yeah.
[75:23]
Henry Zebrowski
While I was in high school, we took a class trip to Europe and one of our stops was Vatican City. It was the creepiest, most uncomfortable place I've ever visited. The combination of the giant walls surrounding the city trapping us inside. My Catholic guilt. Even at a young age, I knew it was all bullshit. And the fact that every single person there seemed miserable. I truly felt sick. The most interesting, surprising part of the visit was going down into the catacombs underneath the cathedral. Cathedral. There were Grottos carved out into these walls where I you not. The mummified corpses of the former popes were displayed behind glass. Cool. You're not supposed to take photographs down there, but I did manage to sneak one because I knew that my friends back home wouldn't believe this wild tale. No, I could. Why you believe that?
[76:05]
Marcus Parks
They attached it, but it's not here.
[76:06]
Henry Zebrowski
It's in the other email.
[76:08]
Marcus Parks
You didn't get it. I want to see it.
[76:09]
Henry Zebrowski
So I'll show it to you.
[76:10]
Marcus Parks
I want to see a dead pope.
[76:11]
Henry Zebrowski
Yeah, I'll show you one. I can look it up.
[76:13]
Marcus Parks
Thank you.
[76:14]
Henry Zebrowski
And a moment. Month show you another one.
[76:17]
Marcus Parks
Oh, we're going to have a 30 day pope. Y another one, man. There's one. Okay. Well, this is the newest one, right?
[76:23]
Henry Zebrowski
That's. That's the last one.
[76:25]
Marcus Parks
That's the hot. That's the new hotness.
[76:27]
Henry Zebrowski
That's a hot new realness.
[76:28]
Marcus Parks
Hot new pope.
[76:29]
Henry Zebrowski
Yum, yum.
[76:29]
Marcus Parks
New dead pope.
[76:30]
Henry Zebrowski
Oh, yeah. Watch out. Don't tend. Don't put him on the New York subway.
[76:33]
Marcus Parks
Oh, no.
[76:34]
Henry Zebrowski
Oh. Because he's got a lot of stuff to steal.
[76:36]
Marcus Parks
He's laying on his back.
[76:37]
Henry Zebrowski
It's probably still take three guys to steal all the stuff off of his body. Body. But still would only take one.
[76:42]
Marcus Parks
I call the amica.
[76:44]
Henry Zebrowski
Yep. I want his little shoes. I love the little shoes. The little shoes are my favorite one. I love the little tiny shoes. But yeah, so a lot of people. We'll talk about. We'll stop talking about the Pope soon, guys. Yeah, I promise. And then we have this last little story. It's really got nothing to do with the show, but okay, it works.
[77:07]
Marcus Parks
All right, let me hear it.
[77:08]
Henry Zebrowski
You've ever asked the question, could I fight that goose? You now have a point of reference for how badass the goose are. Recently, a wild Canadian goose flew into an open air tiger habitat at the Columbus Zoo. Okay, this happens pretty frequently. There's always a mallard duck or two mixed in with the flamingos. In cases where native wildlife interact with predators, it usually results in some unplanned culinary enrichment, as the keepers would say. However, when this tiger thought they found a snack, they wound up with a face full of feathered fury. The goose dodge swipes until they figured out to flap their attacker away. The tiger ran the other way. And zookeepers later confirmed there were no signs of the goose left in the habitat. Wow, a fucking goose. Put that shit down, dude.
[77:54]
Marcus Parks
Goose.
[77:55]
Henry Zebrowski
Fuck you up. The tiger wanted nothing to do with the goose.
[77:59]
Marcus Parks
Oh, it's just a friendly tiger.
[78:01]
Henry Zebrowski
No, it's not. It's a hungry tiger. We're not wanting to get it doesn't understand what the problems with this goose.
[78:06]
Marcus Parks
I don't think he was trying to eat it as much as was just trying to play with it. And then the goose came after it.
[78:11]
Henry Zebrowski
Sounds like the goose was really elevate escalating the scenario. Goose slap the out. Yeah, literally slapped the shot.
[78:18]
Marcus Parks
Man, that tiger's a. I feel bad for the tiger.
[78:21]
Henry Zebrowski
I feel like the tiger could have taken out that goose.
[78:23]
Marcus Parks
Someone should shoot that goose in the head, feed it to the tiger.
[78:29]
Henry Zebrowski
Come on, let's nature rebalance itself. Goose suck. Yeah, they are horrible. Hey, goose.
[78:36]
Marcus Parks
They got big shits and dogs eat the shits.
[78:38]
Henry Zebrowski
I hate geese.
[78:39]
Marcus Parks
My mom hated goose.
[78:40]
Henry Zebrowski
Yeah, I hate the goose. I hate all goose. Oh, God, Eddie. Wow, we've made it to the end of an episode.
[78:46]
Marcus Parks
Happy birthday.
[78:47]
Henry Zebrowski
Well, it really feels like it.
[78:49]
Marcus Parks
Happy, happy, happy birthday.
[78:51]
Henry Zebrowski
I am so overwhelmed with the support I've received over the years that I just want to say thank you all.
[79:00]
Marcus Parks
You dirty Rob got you.
[79:02]
Henry Zebrowski
He got me and Robert, you got me in a. Claire.
[79:05]
Marcus Parks
A birthday eclair.
[79:06]
Henry Zebrowski
Oh, Rob.
[79:07]
Marcus Parks
Oh my God, that's so nice. Oh, yeah, you take that eclair. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, birthday boy. Yeah, you take it. It's got dookie on top and it's got come in the middle of it. Yeah, you love Yuri, Claire. Oh, yeah.
[79:23]
Henry Zebrowski
Oh, yeah.
[79:23]
Marcus Parks
How far can you get a in? Oh, not far. That's not far. But you know, it's enough. Oh, wow.
[79:30]
Henry Zebrowski
Wow.
[79:30]
Marcus Parks
You're really. You've eaten two thirds of this thing already. Oh, my God. I didn't think you really were going to have any of it. And it just. Now it's almost gone. I. I went from aroused to jealous to I love poros.
[79:46]
Henry Zebrowski
You know I like poros. Happy birthday, ma'am.
[79:50]
Marcus Parks
Happy birthday to you. Yes.
[79:52]
Henry Zebrowski
Oh, yeah.
[79:53]
Marcus Parks
God, it's all gone. That's a fully clear down as a browser.
[79:59]
Henry Zebrowski
Not even a shred of a laugh.
[80:01]
Marcus Parks
Not even. I thought it'd be like a goose.
[80:03]
Henry Zebrowski
I just got some fucking culinary enrichment.
[80:06]
Marcus Parks
Yeah. So it's Henry's birthday. Let him know. Say happy birthday online. Let him know. Send some pudding to the studio.
[80:13]
Henry Zebrowski
Buy tickets. This is something.
[80:14]
Marcus Parks
Yeah. Tickets to buy tickets to the Fort Lauderdale show. We're coming, baby.
[80:19]
Henry Zebrowski
Tickets to one of the things. All right.
[80:21]
Marcus Parks
The Forum.
[80:22]
Henry Zebrowski
Oh, yeah. Got his own YouTube channel. You gotta love every day knowing for a fact we're migrating things to his own YouTube channel.
[80:26]
Marcus Parks
Yeah.
[80:27]
Henry Zebrowski
And you gotta laugh knowing for a fact that these guys try and understand how the algorithm works after 15 years in the business. Oh, also, and you're gonna love the fact, you're gonna live on the fact that you good Foreign Report is the best.
[80:42]
Marcus Parks
It's a really great show.
[80:43]
Henry Zebrowski
It's a reasonable show about world events.
[80:46]
Marcus Parks
Yes. And then if you like this show, it's nothing like it. But you guys will seen as one of the smartest people I've ever met. Yes. I love watching the Foreign Report.
[80:55]
Henry Zebrowski
Yes. It's very, very good.
[80:57]
Marcus Parks
So check out their YouTube channel, Foreign Report on YouTube. Go subscribe and all that.
[81:01]
Henry Zebrowski
Go LastPodcast and left dot com. Buy all our tickets everywhere.
[81:03]
Marcus Parks
Yeah, no, also last puppy benefit on the left.
[81:07]
Henry Zebrowski
This has happened very quickly. We put this together. We are doing a benefit for the dogs and families and pets.
[81:16]
Marcus Parks
I. I'm like, I'm fostering adult dog right before this event.
[81:20]
Henry Zebrowski
Yes. We are going to. Just a little bit of an example of what this is. We are. You come out to the Masonic Theater in Los Angeles at the Hollywood Forever Cemetery, May 23. What we are doing is a. It's a benefit for puppies and pets and the families affected during the wildfires that had pets and puppies that needed. That were displaced.
[81:41]
Marcus Parks
Yes. It's called. It's not just for puppies. It's for all dogs. But we're gonna have puppies there for you to play with. And so that's gonna be a lot of fun.
[81:48]
Henry Zebrowski
It's very key.
[81:49]
Marcus Parks
It's very. In puppies. It's us and puppies.
[81:52]
Henry Zebrowski
So this is like. I mean, this. You gonna flip out over this shit. It's only $40. It all goes to charity for an hour. You get to just hang out with puppies and us.
[82:03]
Marcus Parks
And there's a food truck. But the food truck serves normal food.
[82:06]
Henry Zebrowski
Yes. Not dog food.
[82:08]
Marcus Parks
Yeah.
[82:08]
Henry Zebrowski
And then we did not fully know that we were going to be doing this, but we're going to be doing a full, like, show thing.
[82:16]
Marcus Parks
Yeah, we're doing a full thing.
[82:17]
Henry Zebrowski
We're doing a full thing there too. So. And it's not the live show that we're doing.
[82:21]
Marcus Parks
Yeah, no dog space is going to be there. They're going to talk about dog songs, I guess.
[82:25]
Henry Zebrowski
I think. So you come out to this. It is going to be.
[82:28]
Marcus Parks
Oh, Jesus.
[82:29]
Henry Zebrowski
You should.
[82:30]
Marcus Parks
Claire, too fast for promo. Let me take care of this. Pups Without Borders is the. Is the people we're working with. And also the Masonic Lodge in Hollywood Forever. Thank you Oliver, all of you, for helping us put this together. We are going to save some dogs. All right, we're going to it. Toto is buried at the cemetery. We're going to save some dogs.
[82:49]
Henry Zebrowski
We're going to dig him up. All four of them. He got Toto. 2, 3, 7 and 11 are buried there.
[82:55]
Marcus Parks
Yes. That's great.
[82:56]
Henry Zebrowski
Also, just remember Flipper committed suicide on my birthday.
[82:59]
Marcus Parks
Yes, I forgot about this. Yeah, Flipper committed suicide on Henry's birthday. So. So always remember that. And happy birthday, Henry. One less dolphin, one less hat.
[83:09]
Henry Zebrowski
One less sad dolphin. Yeah, I mean he was.
[83:11]
Marcus Parks
Yeah, he was in a good mood, it'd be different.
[83:13]
Henry Zebrowski
Yeah, he was just dragging ass.
[83:16]
Marcus Parks
Hell yeah. Happy birthday, buddy.
[83:19]
Henry Zebrowski
Oh, I forgot to talk about the mud fossil stuff. We'll get into that next week. Oh, yeah, yeah.
[83:22]
Marcus Parks
And the people who in Alabama who took their. They were supposed to spread their mother's ashes but they just took the urn and threw it off a pier.
[83:29]
Henry Zebrowski
God, such a good idea. Such a good idea. Could it be filled with crap crabs? Well, we love you. We'll see you on the Patreon, huh? Come see us.
[83:38]
Marcus Parks
Earn this.
[83:40]
Henry Zebrowski
Earn this. Hail Satan and I'll see you all in hell.
[83:46]
Marcus Parks
Hail you, buddy. Happy birthday.
[83:48]
Henry Zebrowski
Thank you, buddy.
[83:48]
Marcus Parks
I'll see you in hell.
[83:49]
Henry Zebrowski
Great piece of us all. I'm gonna die here.
[83:54]
Marcus Parks
I love you, Julie. I love.