Side Stories: The Slenderman Escape

Summary

Last Podcast On The Left: Side Stories – The Slenderman Escape

Release Date: December 3, 2025
Hosts: Henry Zebrowski & Ed Larson

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Episode Overview

In this "Side Stories" installment, Henry and Ed cover some of the weirdest and wildest crime news of the week, with their signature balance of dark humor and biting commentary. The centerpiece is an in-depth update on Morgan Geyser—one of the infamous "Slenderman stabbers"—and her recent attempted escape from supervised release. The episode also dives into a bizarre plot by two would-be American mercenaries, the rise of a Canadian Olympian-turned-cartel kingpin, a murder-fetish case out of Florida, and more real-world horrors and oddities.

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1. Opening Banter & Midwest Tour Recap

[01:23 – 09:10]

• Henry and Ed banter about Thanksgiving travels, overeating, and their string of live shows through Ohio (Akron, Columbus).
• Colorful tales of Midwest food (“Luigi’s in Akron, Ohio, is one of the better Italian restaurants I’ve ever been to.” —Ed, [03:06]; “We actually really enjoyed Akron. It’s mostly inhabited by ghosts.” —Henry, [05:13]).
• Humorous horror at the amount of cheese on salads and the “salt-of-the-earth” waitstaff at “Fred’s Diner,” shout-outs to local spots.
• Jokes about the weed scene (“Ohio definitely needs to work on their weed, though.” —Ed, [08:08])
• Announcement: Upcoming show in Vegas, invites listeners out.

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2. Slenderman Stabbing Case & Morgan Geyser’s Escape

[12:25 – 28:01]

Case Recap and New Developments

• Morgan Geyser, one of the two Wisconsin girls who attempted to murder a friend in 2014 as a sacrifice to the Slenderman mythos, was recently released to a group home but fled custody [13:54].
• An overview of the original case: Both perpetrators were 12 at the time; Anissa Weier encouraged Morgan, who did the stabbing, and the victim survived [14:14 – 15:24].

“An organized attempted murder by two 12-year-olds is more unusual than anything else.” —Henry [23:10]

• Morgan’s long-term mental illness, diagnosed schizophrenia, and the role of delusions—believed Slenderman was real, experienced hallucinations, family history discussed [15:55 – 17:54].
• Release dynamics: gradual relaxation of restrictions, controversy over her communications/work sold to outsiders, and monitoring [18:51].
• Details of the escape: She cut off her ankle monitor, left with a 43-year-old person named Chad Mecca (now Charlie), traveled to a truck stop in Chicago before being apprehended [19:13 – 21:43].
• Questions around manipulation: Who was manipulating whom? Bodycam footage paints Morgan as the dominant one in recent events.

Hosts’ Debate: Release, Rehabilitation, and Public Safety

• Ed expresses empathy but is startled by the severity of her psychiatric state and how manipulate she seems.

• They question whether rehabilitation of someone who organized such a crime at 12 is possible:
  “12-year-olds make really bad decisions … but organized attempted murder by two 12-year-olds is very different than, like, accidentally not feeding your gerbil and it dies.” —Henry [23:00 & 23:10]

• Chad Mecca’s background: History as a sexual predator, further complicating the escape [25:10].

Takeaways

• Both hosts express unease about her ever being released again, especially since she’s reported to still have ongoing delusions.
• Ends on a signature note of dark comedy: “Also, Slenderman’s not real. That’s the issue.” —Henry [27:59]

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3. Evil Plots: The Texas Bros' Bizarre Haitian Coup

[34:47 – 45:18]

The Plot

• Two young Texans, Gavin and Tanner, were indicted for plotting a bizarre coup: recruit an army of DC homeless men, sail to Gonâve Island (Haiti), massacre the men, enslave women and children as sex slaves.
  “Undeserved confidence that men receive—because Morgan never thought she could take over an entire island.” —Henry [35:51]

• Detailed their failed preparations: training in military/fire academy, learning “Haitian Creole,” trying (and failing) to learn sailing in Thailand because it was too expensive [39:29 – 41:34].

• Instead, while in Thailand, they produced child pornography and were charged for sexual exploitation [41:49].

• The evidence against them is overwhelming—written plans, school records, etc.

• Ed: “Thinking of going to another country to murder and rape gives you life in prison—just for thinking and planning it!” [42:48]

• Jest: “The real punishment would have been like, you know what? Go for it.” —Ed, speculating on how little chance they’d have if unleashed on actual Haitian gangs [45:21]

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4. The Canadian Olympic Snowboarder Cartel Boss

[46:00 – 54:54]

Who’s Ryan Wedding?

• Ryan Wedding, ex-Canadian Olympic snowboarder, is now believed to be a major player in the Sinaloa cartel.
• Details: High-level fugitive, possibly responsible for orchestrating dozens of murders; FBI reward for his capture as high as $15 million.

“This is the best sports career I’ve seen since O.J.” —Henry [53:09]

• Discussion on post-athletic careers, lob jokes about the “white rap group Snow” and deadpan admiration for Wedding’s “success.”
• Acknowledgement of the gravity: “We literally are deeply impressed, but I’m certain he’s a murderer. We know he’s bad. … We’re just actually scared of him.” —Henry [54:54]

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5. The “Fetish Murder” in Ocala, Florida

[57:05 – 62:08]

• A British woman, Sonia Excelbe, flew to Florida to have a man kill her as a sexual fantasy, reflecting a darkly specific murder fetish (compare to the Armin Meiwes cannibal case). They coordinated details via a fetish website.
• After days preparing and corresponding, she had second thoughts, but he saw it through—filmed, murdered, and buried her. All easily traceable evidence.
• Ed: “Nothing’s ever deleted, by the way.” [59:26]
• Henry: “When you’re telling somebody word for word, ‘whatever I say, you keep doing it’—but then you say to stop, how can you trust the scenario? I would really want to make sure.” [60:59]

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6. Quick Hits: Florida Sex Romp, Listener Letters & Scamming

[63:16 – 75:36]

• Florida Keys story: Three people arrested for a drunken sex act in a Winn-Dixie parking lot (“The sexual energy is off the chart.” —Henry [64:21]). Speculation on whether the men were involved with each other, too.
• Listener emails:
  • Sextortion stories—recipients of scam masturbation videos from their own relatives’ accounts, or elderly relatives being tricked by scammers.
    “My dad gave absolutely zero fucks. … We still joke about it to this day.” —Listener letter [69:10]
  • Briefly joke about prepping dick pics for scammers (“You need Lenny Kravitz’s penis on your phone.” —Henry [74:08])
• Comments on scammer tactics, depraved crimes by predators preying on the lonely.

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7. Noteworthy Quotes & Moments

• “I just think it’s sad. … Also, Slender Man’s not real. That’s the issue.” —Henry [27:54–28:01]
• “12-year-olds make really bad decisions. … But organized attempted murder by two 12-year-olds is more unusual than anything else.” —Henry [23:00, 23:10]
• “The real punishment would have been: Go for it. Take your homeless army to Haiti.” —Ed [45:18]
• “This is the best sports career I’ve seen since O.J.” —Henry [53:09]
• “Nothing’s ever deleted, by the way.” —Ed [59:26]

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8. Episode Flow/Tone

• True to form: irreverent, dark, candid and unfiltered.
• Blending personal road stories, true crime analysis, and listener engagement.
• Frequent dark humor used to diffuse the horror, but with moments of genuine insight and empathy for both victims and even perpetrators wrestling with mental illness.

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9. Timestamps for Key Segments

• Midwest travel stories: [01:23–09:10]
• Morgan Geyser / Slenderman update: [12:25–28:01]
• Texan Haiti coup/child pornography plot: [34:47–45:18]
• Canadian snowboarder cartel boss: [46:00–54:54]
• Ocala, FL “murder fetish” case: [57:05–62:08]
• Florida Keys public sex / listener scams: [63:16–75:36]

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10. Final Announcements

• Upcoming live performances, mostly in Vegas, Oxnard, and San Francisco.
• Ongoing content: Last Podcast on the Left’s Christmas merch, plus reminders to engage with the show online.

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Bottom Line:
This episode is a typical “Side Stories” blend of true crime horror and heavy comic relief, with a serious through-line: the complexities of mental illness and manipulation (Slenderman case), the bottomless idiocy and depravity of would-be criminals, and a consistent mockery of scammers and predatory behaviors. The tone is ribald, the laughs are hard, but the crux—humans and systems grappling with the monstrous and absurd—remains. A must-listen for longtime fans seeking analysis, insight, and catharsis through black humor.

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For more info and to submit your own wild tales, email: [e-mail]

Transcript

[Henry Siprowski]

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[Ed Larson]

This is the lost podcast on the left side stories.

[Henry Siprowski]

That's when the cannibalism started. Side stories.

[Ed Larson]

Yes.

[Henry Siprowski]

Man, I was so good for months.

[Ed Larson]

Good about what?

[Henry Siprowski]

My food.

[Ed Larson]

Oh, that kind of good.

[Henry Siprowski]

I'd lost like £7. Yeah, I was just like. You and I were so Thanksgiving.

[Ed Larson]

You're not supposed to be good.

[Henry Siprowski]

I don't care about, obviously. Yeah, sure, whatever. But it was like you and I, Eddie, we just were so good. You. You've lost so much weight. You look so healthy.

[Ed Larson]

Not right now, though. I'm. I put. I put some back on.

[Henry Siprowski]

But we did. On purpose. It's on purpose. But Eddie and I, this weekend. Just say we went out for Thanksgiving. Bunch of shows. Yeah, Thanksgiving weekend. Can't believe that we braved our own holiday travel. Like, we did this to ourselves. Took a car, we were gonna go. I drove across three states.

[Ed Larson]

You love it.

[Henry Siprowski]

Full John Candy experience. And Eddie and I were both like, we're gonna be healthy. We're gonna be so healthy. We're gonna do. And then, holy shit, it's just impossible.

[Ed Larson]

To do in Ohio.

[Henry Siprowski]

Ohio happened to us.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Siprowski]

Now, I.

Expected. It's been a while since I've been Ohio, and I think that I've only really been to Cincinnati and Cleveland, so I've never been to any other place.

[Ed Larson]

You never partied in Columbus before?

[Henry Siprowski]

Not.

[Ed Larson]

What?

[Henry Siprowski]

No, no. It's. It's. It's. It's a quiet town, largely when we go. We've been in the middle of winter. It's like we're. I remember Columbus being a place where I specifically watched hours of Chris Chan footage. Oh, you look.

[Ed Larson]

That's. It makes sense.

[Henry Siprowski]

Yeah. Inside of my hotel room and didn't leave. But this time, Eddie, we found so much. There was so much we ate. Such big fix. We went to Luigi's.

[Ed Larson]

Luigi's in Akron, Ohio, is one of the better Italian restaurants I've ever been.

[Henry Siprowski]

To in terms of Midwest Italian. Because that's hard. That's.

[Ed Larson]

That's a.

[Henry Siprowski]

That's a weird.

[Ed Larson]

Ohio's got good Italian food.

[Henry Siprowski]

Yes.

[Ed Larson]

The mob ran through there and they left some good food behind.

[Henry Siprowski]

Luigi's was one thing. That was one thing.

[Ed Larson]

Oh my God. Well, we had it twice.

[Henry Siprowski]

Yes. Cuz we had it both.

[Ed Larson]

Cuz we both had to try the pizza. We didn't have the pizza diverse. We just had the baked platters they gave us.

[Henry Siprowski]

They said it was like 3,000 pounds of cheese a week. But they say something.

[Ed Larson]

300 pounds of cheese.

[Henry Siprowski]

A salad.

[Ed Larson]

She was bragging about killing us.

[Henry Siprowski]

Yeah. Incredible.

[Ed Larson]

I ordered the salad without cheese. And the sadness on this woman's face, she was just like, yeah. I was just like, all right, I guess I'll get the cheese. And she's like, thank you.

[Henry Siprowski]

Yeah. Because you know why? It's four lettuce leaves and a slice of tomato.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Siprowski]

Without the cheese, it's not anything and that. And she knew that, but she didn't want to say that.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Siprowski]

But God, I'll just say the salt of the earth. I then went to a place called Fred's Diner that was in the middle. It was this little shitty little house that was about 15 minutes from where Jeffrey Dahmer was. Was born. And you could taste it.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Siprowski]

And I listened to like people. Oh yeah. I went and I got a little. I got a steak and eggs, right? And I listened to those old mean women behind the counter at each other. They were tearing each other to pieces. One was turned to the others being like, I can't believe that Rita forgot to order the goddamn Pepsi. I mean like, what kind of stack stone like this? And then I was like. But by then I fell in love with them. I felt. I watched them. I was there for like an hour. I fell in love with them. I invited them. And what happened?

[Ed Larson]

They didn't come.

[Henry Siprowski]

They couldn't come. But the head waitress was like, yeah, but don't worry, it's a really nice venue. I saw Pantera there last year and it was just like, holy. Where am I?

[Ed Larson]

Hard ass chicks. Dude.

[Henry Siprowski]

Dude, this Whole town. I just can't believe how much you guys lied to us about Akron.

[Ed Larson]

Who lied?

[Henry Siprowski]

Everybody.

[Ed Larson]

I mean, Cincinnati was trying to talk on Akron. I was in Cincinnati for Thanksgiving and they were all like, why are you going to Akron? Akron sucks. All this shit. I get to Akron. Lovely place.

[Henry Siprowski]

We actually really enjoyed Akron.

[Ed Larson]

Yes.

[Henry Siprowski]

It's mostly habited by ghosts.

[Ed Larson]

Yes.

[Henry Siprowski]

And it does need a bit of an alt scene, but could need a.

[Ed Larson]

It needs a lot of things.

[Henry Siprowski]

Once it gets in there though, the.

[Ed Larson]

People are cool and you know, the. There is awesome. A bomb shelter was a great place.

[Henry Siprowski]

That was an amazing place.

[Ed Larson]

It's not a. It's. It's not an actual bomb shelter.

[Henry Siprowski]

Store.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, it's a store. Yes.

[Henry Siprowski]

I'm sorry we're doing it this way. But guys, you just got to understand when we do side stories live. Hi, my name is Henry Siprowski. I'm here with Ed Larson. Hello. We get to see parts of the world that I again, why would I go to Akron? The only one, the only reason why I'm going to go to Akron is if I'm in witness protection.

[Ed Larson]

But now I like want to go back.

[Henry Siprowski]

I had a great time. I met Rosa over at Akron Coffee Roasters, which is truly beautiful. Had my first pour over what's happening to us. And then we went to Columbus and we got Wario's, which fudgeing filled my guts. Goryos fuck was amazing.

[Ed Larson]

Dude. This place is called Wario's. They have like the craziest cheesesteaks. They got the craziest, like pork roll sandwiches.

[Henry Siprowski]

This is how fat we are. We ate eight Luigi's and Warios.

[Ed Larson]

Yes, I know. We now we need. We need to find Mario.

[Henry Siprowski]

Yeah, dude, we. That's how fucking fat we are, man.

[Ed Larson]

Sandwiches at Warios. Rob, you would fogging. This place is like your enemy, dude. Because they like and Warios. I love that it's named Wario's and it like distinctly feeds you food that makes you like destroy plumber's lot.

[Henry Siprowski]

Dude, I just. I had that fresh cold cut sandwich with homemade giardina on it and it had this like tomato butter, man. Damn, dude, I just can't believe we never. This never happens to us. Really? Normally I eat like when we're on the road. I very rarely eat anything good. It's normally hotel like Caesar salads. We'll get maybe one. I go.

[Ed Larson]

I try to go do better food than you. You eat, you get room service too much.

[Henry Siprowski]

Well, you and I, you help me go out more. Yeah, I Just, like, convenience. Because I don't like searching for breakfast.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, you hate breakfast. For some reason.

[Henry Siprowski]

It's. No, I love breakfast. I.

[Ed Larson]

You don't like getting up or going anywhere.

[Henry Siprowski]

I don't like waiting for breakfast.

[Ed Larson]

I was. See, the thing is, with you not going to breakfast, I can get anywhere because you can always get in as one.

[Henry Siprowski]

Well, that's the thing. As a solo traveler, you can get in a lot of places.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Siprowski]

Yeah. That's what I also learned.

[Ed Larson]

Just go sit at the bar. Always have. They always got room for me.

[Henry Siprowski]

But we literally.

[Ed Larson]

I'm so big. I look like a big spender. Schmidt Sausage house.

[Henry Siprowski]

Oh. I don't even want to talk about it.

[Ed Larson]

Dude, that. That. That place was amazing.

[Henry Siprowski]

I mean, like, emotional that it exists and that. We went to it, and it's like. It's out of eight. It's like 1886. It's like a German restaurant out of the. Like, it feels like you're in Germany. And then we shopped at a cuckoo shop. We shopped. We do the cuckoo clock store.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Siprowski]

And this is what Eddie and I did.

[Ed Larson]

We were like. We were so innocent. We went to the Red Stable. It was a. It's a cuckoo clock store. Right next and right in the little. Little.

[Henry Siprowski]

Little Germany.

[Ed Larson]

So German village or whatever the.

[Henry Siprowski]

Hey, at least we smoked weed.

[Ed Larson]

Oh, God.

[Henry Siprowski]

That was a part of it. So at least we were stoned.

[Ed Larson]

Definitely needs to work on their weed, though.

[Henry Siprowski]

Oh, yeah, it does need to.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, it's working. Shout out to Baxter Speakeasy for taking care of us in Akron as well.

[Henry Siprowski]

Seriously.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. What a great time, man.

[Henry Siprowski]

I mean, I can't believe it.

[Ed Larson]

We're gonna be in Vegas this weekend.

[Henry Siprowski]

You. Y' all better come out to Vegas, because we're going to have a blast if we live.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. Wise Guys on Sunday. That is December 7th at 6:30pm Wise Guys Town Center. That's the one past the airport. Not the cool one.

[Henry Siprowski]

No, not the good one.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, we're not doing that.

[Henry Siprowski]

So remember that. It's not the good Wise guys, but the rest of Vegas is really nice.

[Ed Larson]

I don't know about that. That's not true at all. Rest of Vegas is not very nice sometimes. This guy's got his moments.

[Henry Siprowski]

You know, I like Somerville.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Siprowski]

I like Summerlin. I like Summerlin. I like. I love Vegas. I'd move to Vegas.

[Ed Larson]

I know you would.

[Henry Siprowski]

You know, I'd move.

[Ed Larson]

You look like a Henderson boy. Oh.

[Henry Siprowski]

What do you.

[Ed Larson]

I feel like there's a lot of land in Henderson. You can get yourself a very nice place.

[Henry Siprowski]

Lot of room. That's what I like. You show my dick to the sand.

[Ed Larson]

Spread it out, you animal. But yeah, thank you so much, Akron and Columbus, for treating us very well.

[Henry Siprowski]

And we're going to come back now.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Siprowski]

That's how good you were.

[Ed Larson]

I'm actually.

[Henry Siprowski]

That's how good you were. I had no intention to ever come back.

[Ed Larson]

I had family. I didn't know, like new family. Julie's family come to the show in Columbus and they didn't hate it. You believe that?

[Henry Siprowski]

I can't believe for sure they were.

[Ed Larson]

Going to hate me. Oh.

[Henry Siprowski]

Especially after what we did. Because we also. We were in Columbus, so we were in Epstein country. So those of you who saw that show knew that it was going to get probably pretty dark. And it did.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Henry Siprowski]

Thank God. It was great. All right, so we have a bit of an update.

[Ed Larson]

Oh, we do.

[Henry Siprowski]

This is the only update I got from last week. We had that really great run up that we were talking about about using cloning to make babies of the horrendous figures of history and then charging different ways to kill them.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Siprowski]

And one of the ways that we came up with, we thought it was really fun that you take infant baby Hitler and you drown it in a bathtub filled with Jewish gum.

[Ed Larson]

Oh, that's right. We did say that. I usually just forget that happens the moment I walk out the door.

[Henry Siprowski]

As you should. And honestly, it protects you.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Siprowski]

So with the come math came out. Someone sent me an email about come math.

[Ed Larson]

Right. Hitler's baby picture.

[Henry Siprowski]

That's him. You gotta kill him. What a cute little baby.

[Ed Larson]

You tell me. He always had the hair.

[Henry Siprowski]

I just wanted a barely looks like Hitler. I want it at the end of a bayonet. Yeah. So according to this come bath math. All right, so talking about bathing and cum, someone said this right here's some cum math. You would need 48. All right, let me see how. 484. Someone wrote this number. Someone literally wrote this number out. Really, really strange. All right. It is 484 million 532708 men to fill 320 gallon hot tub with cum. Presuming they'd all come once.

5 milliliters. You do. I mean, we just need a bucket. Yeah. You could just. Or it could have an inch of it. We could just hold its face down.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, need. I need number. I need numbers for like a tupperware bin. You know, like one of those. Like something you. You put all your holiday decorations so.

[Henry Siprowski]

Again, we just find out it is 2.5 milliliter per shoot, and then we just do that math accordingly.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, no, that's how we know.

[Henry Siprowski]

And again, then that's just really. Just depends. But that's if you're not saving it ahead of time.

[Ed Larson]

Also, are these guys backed up or are they, you know, what's the deal?

[Henry Siprowski]

Like, also, like, this is all the information.

[Ed Larson]

If you've been coming all week, you know, I imagine you're going to have a little less than you.

[Henry Siprowski]

Who knows?

[Ed Larson]

Is that how it works?

[Henry Siprowski]

Sometimes. Catch me. Yeah, catch me. Right.

[Ed Larson]

Time. What's Peter north doing these days?

[Henry Siprowski]

I honestly think he's. I think he's worm food.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, you think so? He's probably dead. He should be dead.

[Henry Siprowski]

I think Peter north might be dead.

[Ed Larson]

He came to death.

[Henry Siprowski]

I actually think he got shot in the head. No, he's out there, man. Always on a good friend. Oh, he's looking great.

[Ed Larson]

Wow, only 3, 000 followers.

[Henry Siprowski]

Yeah, this is him.

No, that is him.

[Ed Larson]

It says the one and only.

[Henry Siprowski]

Yeah, that's him. That's how you write him.

[Ed Larson]

I reckon he's probably horrible. Yeah.

[Henry Siprowski]

Yeah, Eddie.

[Ed Larson]

I imagine he's horrible.

[Henry Siprowski]

Definitely made a documentary.

[Ed Larson]

I was a retired actor. In quotes.

[Henry Siprowski]

That'll be interesting. We'll see what's going on. We'll find out. Oh, he loves it. Adam Carolla is a good friend. Of course. Makes a lot of sense.

[Ed Larson]

That makes a lot of sense. All right. Talk about someone who's filled with. Come.

[Henry Siprowski]

Now, this. We have some truly wonderful stories this week.

[Ed Larson]

Did you not want to talk about Morgan Geyser? I guess there's not much.

[Henry Siprowski]

No, I want to talk about it up top.

[Ed Larson]

Okay. Good.

[Henry Siprowski]

Oh, yeah. So, as y' all know, talk about.

[Ed Larson]

You know, coming a bunch.

[Henry Siprowski]

Oh, she's a child. Well, no, she's not.

[Ed Larson]

Childhood. No, she's not child. I was more just their last names. Geyser.

[Henry Siprowski]

Yeah, I understand. Believe me, I understand. So, as you guys may have heard, Morgan Geyser, last week while we were away for Thanksgiving. We were. Of course, it happened as soon as we were gone. Morgan Geyser is one of the Slender man stabbers. Now, this was. This took place in May of 2014. They were both 12 at the time. It was Morgan Geyser and her friend Anissa Wire. They basically formulated a plan to murder a young friend of theirs, Peyton Lightner or Lutner, in order to please Slender Man. Now, Anissa Wire apparently was a person that brought the concept of Slender man to Morgan Geyser. Morgan Geyser would go on to build on top of that delusion and would say, we can please Slender man by killing Peyton. We'll stab her to death. And then what we'll do is then we'll walk to these. In these woods. We'll just walk into these woods.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Siprowski]

And we'll go. We'll be invited into Slender Man's mansions and become one of his proxies, like one of his like little like helpers.

[Ed Larson]

And there were 12 at the time.

[Henry Siprowski]

They were 12. And we now know that, that they were wrong. Eddie.

[Ed Larson]

No way.

[Henry Siprowski]

Yes.

[Ed Larson]

Slender man, the bed people love a thin man.

[Henry Siprowski]

They really do. And they, you, they'll tall thin, he'll cheat on you. Yeah.

Slender Man. Right. So she was arrested, they were put into jail. So now Anissa Wire was let out, I believe in 2021 and she didn't.

[Ed Larson]

So the Geyser got sent to a mental hospital.

[Henry Siprowski]

Yes, yes. Wire was leafed and released in 2021 after seven years. Then I guess it makes sense. I guess. Well, because Wire did not actually do the stabbing herself, but she talked the other one into doing, you know, Morgan Geyser was the both dominant member of the pair and did the actual stabbing, but also brought Anissa along with it. Like tried to sort of put the knife in Anissa's hands. The original attack happened when they went into a park bathroom. Morgan Geyser grabbed Peyton's arms, put him behind her for Anissa to stab her to death. And this is choked. She didn't want to do it. Obviously she didn't. And so eventually Morgan took it upon herself later on.

[Ed Larson]

And so they gave her seven years for that.

[Henry Siprowski]

Well, she's an accessory to murder. She was there, she was a part of this. And this is an attempted murder. That's fucking legit.

[Ed Larson]

So I know it's hard when they're 12.

[Henry Siprowski]

If you're where anybody's dies and you're involved with the party, that someone has killed someone.

[Ed Larson]

Yes.

[Henry Siprowski]

You're in trouble.

[Ed Larson]

I understand that at 18 and over.

[Henry Siprowski]

But a 12, it's same, it's same rules.

[Ed Larson]

That's wild.

[Henry Siprowski]

Yeah, same rules.

[Ed Larson]

Long ass time for a 12 year old.

[Henry Siprowski]

They try to stab her to fudgeing death. So Peyton crawled. They were like actually no seed. She lived, she crawled, she crawled away. She got help from the road and then they were arrested. So now Morgan Geyser was put in a mental health facility. Now they said for a while, I believe that one of her parents had also suffered from schizophrenia. So they felt that Morgan Geiser was showing these symptoms of schizophrenia. She said that she experienced full on auditory hallucinations. She saw color streams go up and down the walls and most importantly believe Slender man was real and speaking to her. So now she's been in this facility.

[Ed Larson]

Do you think she is crazy or she's faking it?

[Henry Siprowski]

This is a long. This is. I mean this is a 12.

[Ed Larson]

It'd be pretty impressive if you were.

[Henry Siprowski]

Faking it unless you heard all of the symptoms described by one member of your family. 12 year olds are idiots, but also are absorb. And you'd be surprised what they know. What? They're great liars.

[Ed Larson]

Children lie like a motherfucker.

[Henry Siprowski]

They just don't know. They don't know. Morgan Geyser might have. Obviously, I mean let's just say at this point my diagnosis, she's cuckoo fucking bananas, Right. She's all fucked up. So she's all jacked up. So Morgan Geyser is put into this mental facility. She's supposed to be there for 40 years.

[Ed Larson]

That's a long ass time.

[Henry Siprowski]

Yes.

[Ed Larson]

For doing something when you're 12.

[Henry Siprowski]

Well, it's because of the way that she acted. It was because of the. It started with. You could tell that there has been some like obviously genuine concern because they were technically innocent due to insanity.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Siprowski]

So they got like released in this kind of conditional way to this mental health facility. And they were working with Morgan for a while and so we had started, it seemed is that they genuinely believed she was very sick and they worked on it. Now they seem to slowly relax what they were doing with her inside of this mental health facility to the point where she then got in trouble for receiving material from outside of the mental health facility. This book called Rent Boy, okay. That is all about a. I believe. I know. It features sexual sadism and murder and violence. Right. So that was like the first thing being like, oh. And she said, oh. Morgan Geyser got really upset because they were putting all of these kind of parameters on what she could read and what she was going to do. And so someone from the outside, the first example of a man from the outside of the hospital sent her this book. This, this, this disgusting. Whatever this Rent Boy book is.

[Ed Larson]

Right.

[Henry Siprowski]

And so she's reading this really morbid dark stuff. And that was kind of like one weird thing.

[Ed Larson]

Who was the guy?

[Henry Siprowski]

I forget the name of the guy. It was just some other man.

[Ed Larson]

He's not a family member, no friend or anything like that. Just random ass. Like I forget the guy, but he's Like a fan of horror or like a fan of her.

[Henry Siprowski]

He also was helping her sell her artwork on Facebook. So she's. She's drawing all these sort of like Morgan Geyser's drawing these super morbid pictures and selling it.

[Ed Larson]

So, like, gotta fill that canteen.

[Henry Siprowski]

But it's again, it's like, I don't think it really works like that. It's another kind of an example of like, is she okay or not? And so you have these mental health evaluations and one of the. I was watching a thing about this afterwards, and it's hard because you have to take the sick person's word as much as you can corroborate that they're okay and that they're better. But you have to take their word. So Morgan Geyser could have very much been giving them everything they want to hear for the last several years. So they gave her provisional release in 2025 to go to a group home.

[Ed Larson]

Which, honestly, I kind of agree with.

[Henry Siprowski]

I. I agreed and I didn't agree because this is where my thought process comes in, is that I don't know if she knows if she's really sick or not. I don' what she knows. And I think that what we're now seeing. My problem is, is that now with what just happened, I think she's a lot more aware than she says she is.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Siprowski]

I think especially the behavior I saw in the body cam footage where she very much is. Obviously she was almost in charge of this relationship with this other person. So now we know that Morgan Geyser was in this. He was in Waukesha. Right. At some group home. 8am, November 23rd. They call that she's left from this place. She's in Madison. Right. She's disappeared from this helm. She cut her like she has one of those, like, locator tracker devices on her ankle. She cut it off with a. With a scissor. Right. No idea. You could just do that. And they ran up, ran off with this unnamed man. Technically. Right. Didn't know. Turns out this person is. No. Goes by the name of Chad Mecca. That's like. Well, there. That's their legal name. They now identify as a woman. They go by Charlie.

[Ed Larson]

Okay.

[Henry Siprowski]

And this person is 43 years old. Morgan Geiser is 23 years old. This person began speaking with Morgan Geiser from within the group home movie. And then I guess, like from outside. That's the only thing that's kind of muddy is that I can't figure out where they met. I know that this person Was not allowed to visit Morgan Geyser at the group home. Which means they already could tell something was really weird about their relationship.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Siprowski]

This 43 year old person then begins to sneak into the wind window of this 23 year old murderer. Almost murder, attempted murderer probably like who know the very now famous true crime case.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Siprowski]

And it's almost like in my mind like at first in my head, oh my God. This person, this older person is. Is manipulating Morgan Geyser. Like that's the first thing I thought in my head.

[Ed Larson]

That's what I. That's what seems like to me from an outsider.

[Henry Siprowski]

Cut to the body cam footage. So they are. They're at some truck stop. So they managed to get a greyhound bus ticket.

[Ed Larson]

They. That's not that hard.

[Henry Siprowski]

That's not that hard.

[Ed Larson]

You say manage, but that's.

[Henry Siprowski]

I mean in terms of like that's all the money they had. They then walked across Chicago. They ended up at this truck stop, middle of nowhere. Then they kind of just. I guess they crashed and the police had came and you can see the way that they're acting is that the. The older person, Chad Charlie is acting like a child is like kicking the grass, doing this weird stuff. And Morgan geyser's the strong one. Morgan Geyser's holding being like don't let her go. Let her go. I know, I know every. I did it. I'm the bad one. And she's doing this and you're like. It's very, very interesting.

[Ed Larson]

So it looks like Morgan may have.

Who been the ringleader in this situation.

[Henry Siprowski]

God knows they had made this sort of fantasy run. They thought that they were going to go to Nashville together. They thought it was going to be. I guess they thought it was good. But they had no money and they had no particular plan. And now we know that Morgan Geyser is back in jail. They caught her. I believe it was the night before Thanksgiving. And this is my problem is that first of all I wasn't sad that she got caught. But I was like, yes. It's like Mike Myers.

[Ed Larson]

Yes. Yeah.

[Henry Siprowski]

When I found that it happened, I was just like, oh fuck.

[Ed Larson]

Like my.

[Henry Siprowski]

My morbid true crime brain and penis.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Siprowski]

I call that my. More. My true crime penis got real big. Right? Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

Because we have a show to do.

[Henry Siprowski]

Yeah. It was exciting.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Siprowski]

But then you look at this and realize like, oh, it was really. It was really quite sad. And I don't think that Morgan geyser ever should have been let out.

[Ed Larson]

You don't think so? I Mean, she obviously tried to escape, so I. Obviously you're right.

[Henry Siprowski]

Now we know that she. I think that she's quite manipulative, I think.

[Ed Larson]

But also, I got to say, 40 years for a 12 year old who didn't even kill anyone. I know that she tried, but I mean it seems like a lot. It really does.

[Henry Siprowski]

I think it takes a lot for.

[Ed Larson]

12 year olds make really bad decisions.

[Henry Siprowski]

But I think it's different. I think there's a very big difference between like accidentally not feeding your gerbil and it dies. Well, that's, you know what I mean.

[Ed Larson]

Like a harmless thing.

[Henry Siprowski]

But I mean organized murder, an organized attempted murder by two 12 year olds is more unusual than anything else.

[Ed Larson]

It's very unusual.

[Henry Siprowski]

It's extremely unusual. It is a very, very extreme case. So I could see why they wanted to put her in there for 40 years and I could also see why they tried to adjudicate it. Like you're also seeing this is the.

[Ed Larson]

System trying to let her out, try. Trying to like help and like trying to.

[Henry Siprowski]

Yeah, but the problem is, is they just. There's only so far you can help.

[Ed Larson]

So what do we know about the person who tried to help her?

[Henry Siprowski]

Just honestly, not a heck of a lot. And they are, I mean, how much trouble are they in?

[Ed Larson]

What's their crime?

[Henry Siprowski]

I actually, I have no idea. I have no idea. If they can, if they do get in trouble, I mean, if they paid.

[Ed Larson]

For the bus ticket, it could be trafficking.

[Henry Siprowski]

I mean, Morgan Geyser's an adult. Is a legal adult.

[Ed Larson]

Oh yeah, yeah, it's legal.

[Henry Siprowski]

It's just. I feel like it's just that Morgan Geyser, I was still technically, I believe under sort of like a kind of probationary.

[Ed Larson]

I mean they sold an anchorman in her on.

[Henry Siprowski]

So yeah, yeah. So she's going into jail and then they're gonna probably put her back into that facility.

[Ed Larson]

You know, they just, just chill out and like you just be. Just do your rehab, man.

[Henry Siprowski]

Well, the problem is, is that I. I think that she's. She's kind of screwed up. Oh yes, that's right. Morgan Geyser and this person met at a church. They were at a church together and she started doing the things telling this person, they're treating me bad. They're not letting me do these things. They're abusing me.

[Ed Larson]

I think that Morgan Geyser is the manipulator.

[Henry Siprowski]

I. I think that Morgan Geyser like. Well, I think the other person's. I'm going to call him a capital C. Creepazoid. Like, for certain. Like, definitely a full creepazoid. This article I found does say that Chad Mecca has a history of sexual assault. Oh, of course. So, yeah, you're not wrong there. Of course.

[Ed Larson]

Okay.

[Henry Siprowski]

Of course. Who else is climbing into the window of a famous stabber? Yeah, you mean, like literally thinking that they could do it? So I. Obviously it's very complicated, but I think that Morgan Geyser is now gonna. Now they're gonna be like, okay, well, now you stay in.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. And now the other one's good. Yeah.

[Henry Siprowski]

The other one needs a break from society as well. I think the other one could probably maybe. I think the term is touch. Not touch grass, because they were sleeping on grass. I think they need a break. I think they need. I don't know what they need.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, I just. It's weird because I'm so torn on this, to be honest with you.

[Henry Siprowski]

Of course. Because we believe that. We would like to believe that you can rehab people, especially a child, unless.

[Ed Larson]

It'S just they start killing too early and they're just.

[Henry Siprowski]

Buddy.

[Ed Larson]

Just bad. Yeah.

[Henry Siprowski]

A 12 year old organizing an attempted murder is very different. It's very, very different than stealing. It's different than smoking. It's different than anything else. So I could see why everybody's a little confused.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Siprowski]

Especially with dealing with Chad Mecca. Now this new. This new level.

[Ed Larson]

Go ahead and throw the book at that one.

[Henry Siprowski]

Oh, yeah, they're going to o.

[Ed Larson]

As far as I'm concerned, that. That person. I. I got no. I got no. I got nothing in the game for them. But I honestly still feel bad for Morgan Geyser.

[Henry Siprowski]

Oh, yeah. I feel very. I do. But then the problem was, see, I also don't know whether I'm cynical or if I'm mean or something, because, like, I was watching the footage of her being transported back because they had the body cam footage of her going back in and sort of the way she's going, like, smiling. Sorry. No, she's doing. It's the opposite. It's like. I hate to say it, but it feels like alligator tears. Yeah. It kind of feels like. I think that you're. You're putting on a face because you're going, I never should have left. I'm so sorry. Like, she's like doing this thing and it's like, I think that you're. You told everybody else that you were getting physically abused in here.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Siprowski]

So you're not saying the truth either. And what are you gonna do out there?

[Ed Larson]

Well, now they're an Adult.

[Henry Siprowski]

Yeah, but what are you gonna do out there?

[Ed Larson]

How old's Morgan guys are now? 20, I think.

[Henry Siprowski]

23.

[Ed Larson]

23. Oh, my God.

[Henry Siprowski]

I don't know what they're going to do. I don't. I feel like they need more help.

[Ed Larson]

They need even more.

[Henry Siprowski]

More and more and more and more and more help.

[Ed Larson]

I mean, they just added another 10 years at least, I'll tell you that much.

[Henry Siprowski]

They got to, unfortunately. Looks like they got to cook some more.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Siprowski]

Well, an interesting detail also. She's apparently still talking to Slender Man. Oh, that's the whole thing. It's all like. She's having these. She's still having these, like, weird episodes and she's saying all this stuff. I. I think that she's dangerous.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, she's still talking to Slender Man. She's definitely dangerous.

[Henry Siprowski]

I think she's.

[Ed Larson]

No question about that.

[Henry Siprowski]

I think she's extremely dangerous. And I just think it's sad.

[Ed Larson]

Also, Slender Man's not real.

[Henry Siprowski]

That's the issue.

[Ed Larson]

That is the main issue.

[Henry Siprowski]

Right?

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. There is no Slender Man.

[Henry Siprowski]

There is none. Unless, of course, it's Eddie Redmayne.

[Ed Larson]

Yes, it could be, but it could definitely be Eddie Red.

[Henry Siprowski]

I can bet you right now that Eddie Redmayne's wearing a mask and he's zooming in.

[Ed Larson]

Where has he been? I haven't seen him do anything.

[Henry Siprowski]

I bet you he's grooming her. Whoa.

[Ed Larson]

Eddie Redmayne.

[Henry Siprowski]

Any Red made himself.

[Ed Larson]

Can we check his phone records?

[Henry Siprowski]

I would love to find out. Because, you know, he would love to have a little girl killed in his name.

[Ed Larson]

Oh, my God.

[Henry Siprowski]

You know that he would. You know that he'd only make him stronger. It only make him bigger and stronger. I just. God damn it. God damn it. I knew it.

[Ed Larson]

He's doing good. He's.

[Henry Siprowski]

God, I hate him. I hate him.

[Ed Larson]

You do hate him.

[Henry Siprowski]

What are you doing?

[Ed Larson]

Oh, he's got. You know, he's only got stuff. He's only got one movie in production.

[Henry Siprowski]

Oh, no.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. Yeah. I think he's on his way out. I think you. I think you've been into existence.

[Henry Siprowski]

Yeah. Good. Yeah, I think so.

[Ed Larson]

Oh, wait, no. It's a Julia Roberts picture. She's gonna do great. Yeah, it's gonna be great. Yeah.

[Henry Siprowski]

He only gets stronger.

[Ed Larson]

He's doing awesome.

[Henry Siprowski]

Yeah, I know.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. Good for you, Eddie.

[Henry Siprowski]

Yeah, well, honestly, I can't begrudge him in that way, but still, he is trafficking girls. I know he is. To his home, and he's cutting their cliffs off. And he's. And he's turning them into mittens for fetuses. Little baby fetuses.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, we have that on.

[Henry Siprowski]

I know that. I have that on tape.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, we have. Yeah, we, we know. These things I have done on Betamax. Yeah. Henry has his little sparrows.

[Henry Siprowski]

My sparrows and my spiders.

[Ed Larson]

Flies from your grave.

Jingle balls, jingle balls jingle all the way. Stick them in your underwear. You'll wear quints every day. Hey, that's right. It's Christmas time. Cold mornings, holiday plans. That's when you need your wardrobe to just work. You get chilly. You know what you're gonna do? You're gonna go to Quint's and Quint's is gonna make you a prince. And know a Christmas prince. Oh, how wonderful. A Christmas prince dressed in his Quince. Oh, how lovely. Do you want a cashmere sweater? How about a weighted blanket? You can get all of it over at Quince. Oh, everything I own is made from Quince. If my television could be made from Quince, I'd let them make my television. If they made ham sandwiches, I would buy Quince's ham sandwiches. Because you can trust Quince because they have all kinds of high standards for craftsmanship and ethical practices. So this Christmas, when you're buying gifts for other people or yourself, go to Quints, get your wardrobe sorted and your gift list handled with Quince.

[Henry Siprowski]

Don't wait.

[Ed Larson]

Go to quince.com last for free shipping and your order and 360, 65 day returns. Now available in Canada too. What no one told me that's Q U I n c e.com last free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com last.

[Henry Siprowski]

This podcast is brought to you by Squarespace. Squarespace is the all in one website platform designed to help your business stand out and succeed online. Every dream needs a domain. Which is why I finally solidified the borders of my own animalsurl.register.com you will bend to my will. Thanks to the power of Squarespace, I have been quantifyingly organizing every single available animal based creative business URL that is around and I'm coining them for myself. Wonderful things such as buffalosaucesauce.com such as kangaroohats.com such as many different chickens shoes.com in a doll held behind the giant iron. Powerful Squarespace fuel gates ofAnimals and URL Register.com and any one of you that dares defy me or the unilateral power of Squarespace with their blueprint AI. Squarespace AI Enhanced design partner. Which sounds like the hand in hand. We will march across the graves of URLs that people have been trying to steal from under me using the cannons of animalsurl. Register.com me AI, my old buddy Jeff Bezos. We're coming for you. All right. Squarespace is going to help me. Squarespace is my bullets. Squarespace is my canvas. Squarespace is my God. We like Squarespace here. Head to squarespace.com left for a free trial. When you're ready to launch, use offer code left to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. This is an ad by BetterHelp. Can you feel the ticking clock of the holidays? Tick tock, tick tock. What are you gonna buy me, Daddy? Oh, I want this locket. And if I don't get it, I'll leave you. Trevor, what am I gonna do to get off of work? They said they need me. They need me at the bullet factory. I can't get off for Christmas. Oh, I hate the hol days. That's why Better Help is encouraging you to rewrite your traditions this season by making time for you. Incorporating therapy into your new or existing traditions can help you slow down and take care of yourself during what can be a joyful but sometimes hectic and lonely time of the year. I know. I always invite my psychiatrist to Christmas morning. I want to see him get yelled at by my mother. The holidays look different for everyone. Maybe it's baking your great aunt's sweet potato pie. Nice. Or starting something new, like a quiet night in with friends. Yeah, that's fun. That would be one of the first new traditions, too, right? BetterHelp gives you space to pause, reflect, and feel more grounded. And there's nothing that would make somebody happier than giving them a gift for the holidays of a gift certificate. To better Help this December, start a new tradition by taking care of you. Our listeners get 10 [e-mail] LastPod that's BetterHelp. H-E-L-P.com/Last Pod.

All right, you want to do this next story, man?

[Ed Larson]

Absolutely.

[Henry Siprowski]

This is the other one of the seriously crazy stories all week. This one is as insane as any other story I've ever read. But also, nothing technically happened. Okay, but bad. I mean, obviously crimes happened, but, like, none of the dreams came real.

[Ed Larson]

Are you talking about wedding?

[Henry Siprowski]

No, I'm talking about going down Haiti way.

[Ed Larson]

Oh, this is such an interesting cool. I mean, not cool's the wrong word, but, like, it is just, like, wild story.

[Henry Siprowski]

All right, we got two evil broccoli headed.

[Ed Larson]

This is like straight up evil. No question about it.

[Henry Siprowski]

Evil twerpy, rat face. Little white boys named Gavin and Tanner.

[Ed Larson]

2021.

[Henry Siprowski]

Think about these idiots. So Gavin, younger than Geyser. Younger than Geyser. Think about it. And then. But also just shows this is the. You know what? This is the undeserved confidence that men receive. Oh.

[Ed Larson]

Especially from Texas.

[Henry Siprowski]

Oh, yes. Because Morgan never thought she could take over an entire island.

[Ed Larson]

No.

[Henry Siprowski]

You know, and that's where she's thinking small. Because these guys, Gavin and Tanner, Gavin Weisenberg and Tanner Thomas, these two wastes of life.

[Ed Larson]

If your name's Tanner, your parents really you over.

[Henry Siprowski]

They really do. And I know some bad Tanners too, and some shitty.

[Ed Larson]

I don't think I've ever known a good one.

[Henry Siprowski]

No, I. Actually, Tanner's a hard name. Honestly, if you're a good Tanner, please write in side stories lpotlmail.com and I want proof you're a good Tanner.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. Explain yourself, because I don't believe you.

[Henry Siprowski]

All right, so these guys were indicted in a grand jury, Texas Eastern District, for a horrific idea. So they. What, they wanted to do crimes? They.

[Ed Larson]

Well, they would more than think.

[Henry Siprowski]

Well, yeah. Oh, yes.

[Ed Larson]

They started. They started amassing stuff.

[Henry Siprowski]

Stuff. Very much so. They. They're gonna probably face life in prison. They wanted.

[Ed Larson]

They absolutely are.

[Henry Siprowski]

They. They wanted to create an army of homeless men from Washington, D.C. that they were going to float over to an island next to Haiti.

[Ed Larson]

Yes. Right. Which I believe was called.

[Henry Siprowski]

It's like Cavoli.

[Ed Larson]

It's part of Haiti. Yes, it is officially part of Haiti.

[Henry Siprowski]

They thought that.

[Ed Larson]

Which is a goddamn disaster right now. I know it's one of the worst run places. I mean, it's not run by anybody, is. It is a complete, utter disaster. If you were gonna pull something like this off, Haiti would be the place to do it.

[Henry Siprowski]

Thanks, Eddie. Thank God. So these guys, they really thought that they were gonna pick. So it was Gunave Island, Right? Yeah. So DC area. They went to go work in the DC Area because they thought that they would. They would build up a bunch of mercenaries. They would turn homeless people into mercenaries. They would then sail them across the water to attack island. They then would kill every man on the island and then capture every woman and child to become their sex slaves.

[Ed Larson]

Correct. That is the plan.

[Henry Siprowski]

26,000 people.

Like that.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Siprowski]

Right. Easy. So these guys were like, oh, fuck, yeah, of course we're going to do this. We're going to buy a sailboat, we're going to get guns, We're Going to get the homeless guys together.

[Ed Larson]

By the way, your number's way off. 85 to 100,000.

Is estimated easy then estimated residents.

[Henry Siprowski]

Because you know how easy it is to train and organize the homeless, right?

[Ed Larson]

You're gonna get them all. They love listening. That's why they're in that situation. First of all, I mean they did their homework. They literally sort of. They learned Haitian Creole. Okay.

[Henry Siprowski]

So first of all, they said they. They say they learned Haitian Creole. I'd love to test them.

[Ed Larson]

Right.

[Henry Siprowski]

So one of them enlisted in the Air Force.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Siprowski]

And told them that, hey listen, the reason why I'm getting the air for Tanner did. He enlisted in the Air Force so we can go on. So he said like, listen, it's going to help me get on the inside. I'm going to get training. Right. Weisenberg, the other fucking idiot, he was up. So the. Well, Tanner, he was assigned to Ramstein Air Base in Germany. You've been there, right?

[Ed Larson]

Yes, I have been there. It's got a Taco Bell in a Kmart.

[Henry Siprowski]

Incredible. And then he got himself reassigned to Joint Base Andrew so that he could be nearer to D.C. so he said, quote, he could continue their project while he was in training. Like this idea that he'd go out and jizz Lane Maxwell a bunch of homeless people to become mercenaries while he's training in the Air Force.

[Ed Larson]

Which I joined the Air Force to commit this crazy crime.

[Henry Siprowski]

But I've also heard that training when you're in the army or the armed forces. Maybe I'm wrong. Seems to take up the majority of your time.

[Ed Larson]

Yes.

[Henry Siprowski]

I don't think you're going to busy. I don't think you have a heck of a lot of time to groom the homeless people. Especially with how much lice is on them. All right? So it's very, very hard. The other fucking piece of shit, he went and he. This Gavin G. I even hate saying their names. Yeah, you sound like shitty towheaded children. Like just in they're going m. Mother. Mother. What? Oh, mother. I want cockerin milk. I want cockerin milk. You know like that style of like these. The shitty little algae filled kids in every monor school. These kids got green skin. They're all dying, right? So Gavin, he goes, he gets enrolled in the North Texas Fire Academy to train and command and control protocols, right. He said skills he would need, of course, because he has to train in order to lead this armed coup of an island, Right?

[Ed Larson]

Yes.

[Henry Siprowski]

Failed out of the school immediately. Six months later, two weeks after being dismissed from the school. He then goes to Thailand, which is where every low rent white boy goes to in order to buy sex, right? Yes. So he goes there because he.

[Ed Larson]

I want to go there for the weed.

[Henry Siprowski]

Exactly. I want to go there for the food and the fights with your wife.

[Ed Larson]

No, no, they have. They have the little fights. Yeah. Lots of boxing.

[Henry Siprowski]

It's fun. Oh, yeah, sure, sure. That's where my friend Sonia went. She went to go train fighting Muay Thai.

[Ed Larson]

Oh, there you go.

[Henry Siprowski]

It was awesome.

[Ed Larson]

I told you.

[Henry Siprowski]

But. So he was gonna go. And so then they flew to Thailand.

[Ed Larson]

Our friend Sonia, Please. I think Sonia considers me a friend at this point.

[Henry Siprowski]

I agree.

[Ed Larson]

Yes. It's been years. Continue. I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

[Henry Siprowski]

So this gu. They. They wanted to go then train in a tie. They look evil. Oh, yeah, they're such.

[Ed Larson]

The one on the left especially, is that. Do we know if that's Tanner?

[Henry Siprowski]

Who gives a. I believe. Yeah, that's Tanner on the left. But they both need a.

[Ed Larson]

They both tell her if he got.

[Henry Siprowski]

Beat to death, he needs a hammer in the center of his forehead. Right? So they go.

[Ed Larson]

They went.

[Henry Siprowski]

They got. They went to go get Thai sailing school, right? They want to learn in Thailand, and they went to sailing school. And guess what they found out? I guess they didn't research it because they. They're fucking morons.

[Ed Larson]

They're bad at sailing.

[Henry Siprowski]

It was. It was too expensive for them to join in Thailand.

[Ed Larson]

Yep. What do they think they're going to get money here for?

[Henry Siprowski]

They're 20.

[Ed Larson]

Okay.

[Henry Siprowski]

They're morons. They're morons and they're rapists, right? So that's the problem.

[Ed Larson]

So they go, they're future rapists, right?

[Henry Siprowski]

Well, yes. So it turns out during this whole time period, while they were trying to figure out how to put all of this together, they couldn't figure out how to recruit homeless men. They couldn't figure out how to train the army, they couldn't figure out how to sail. So they just said it, we're in Thailand and let's make some child pornography. Which is what they did. Oh, they Gary Glittered it. Oh, yeah. They decided to just kind of get that going instead of just drop some of that in there because they figured they got some time. You know, Kanye's always working on Beats fans. The same thing where they just sat there. They figured, we could do our job. We could do a job while we're doing our jobs, right? And so they are. So the two trial, they're two now, obviously they're. They're going to be going to jail and they're going to be probably murdered in there. Now in the convict, if they are convicted, they got two charges. It was for conspiracy to murder, maim or kidnap in a foreign country and production of child pornography, the child sexual exploitation material. So they could, they're gonna go to jail. And then when they go in jail.

[Ed Larson]

The first charge gives them life in prison.

[Henry Siprowski]

Oh yeah.

[Ed Larson]

Which is crazy. I mean just like thinking of going to another country to merm and rape gives you life in prison. Well, just for like thinking and planning it.

[Henry Siprowski]

I think it's cause of the, the written amount of this shows how dumb they are.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Siprowski]

Is that it must be the amount of written evidence, like hard evidence that shows how much they planned it.

[Ed Larson]

You got to use a chalkboard for these things.

[Henry Siprowski]

Yes, yes. You might want to, you want to do this with a whisper campaign. You know, I think it's a lot of that. It's the, it's him changing bases, it's him going to trying to sign up for the sailing school. Like that's how they put all of that together.

[Ed Larson]

Go, my God, these fucking idiots. Evil little idiots.

[Henry Siprowski]

And that's the problem too is that it's not even like think, think the fucking universe that they are extremely bad. I mean obviously it was already an unrealistic idea.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Siprowski]

Just the idea was flawed itself. But also so was America.

It was a little thought in somebody's head. It was a little thought and then it just happened. So who knows?

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, dude. Also on a side note, central Haiti right now is under total gang attack.

[Henry Siprowski]

Downtown Haiti's not going well.

[Ed Larson]

Well, downtown Haiti, Port au Prince if you want to. If Port au Prince is like, they're fighting back a little bit. The Kenyan army, Kenya sent a bunch of troops to Haiti to help clean up Haiti. And so. And like they're like fighting the gangs in Port au Prince right now. And so Port au Prince is like getting under a little bit. Not really, but it's still mostly run by the gangs. But central Haiti, the Kenyans haven't gotten out there yet and the government out there and so that last week they killed dozens of people last week. And the gangs in the middle of Haiti killing a lot of women, a lot of children. And they've completely taken over central Haiti now.

[Henry Siprowski]

Well, those two 20 year old white boys are going to really crush it over there.

[Ed Larson]

Oh my God, they would probably just get immediately murdered.

[Henry Siprowski]

Yeah. You think that when they're coming off they have the bad news bears of mercenaries all on Their stinky tugboat coming on. They're all going.

All these, like, men are just like. They're probably going like, water. It's a beach, you know, like, they're.

[Ed Larson]

The real punishment would have been like, you know what? Go for it.

[Henry Siprowski]

Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

They would have just eliminated them immediately.

[Henry Siprowski]

The US Government. Yeah. Just being like, yeah, sure. Here. Here's tugboat.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Siprowski]

Why don't you go try it? Yeah, go. Oh, definitely.

[Ed Larson]

Go ask for barbecue.

[Henry Siprowski]

Yeah, go there. Go try to take their women and children. Yeah, definitely go. Of course, your untrained homeless people are gonna do fantastic against them.

[Ed Larson]

Oh, my God. Wow, this is terrible. Oh, yeah.

[Henry Siprowski]

It's very terrifying, man. But also great story.

[Ed Larson]

It is a great story. It is a great. Fortunately, it's a phenomenal.

[Henry Siprowski]

But the only. The reason why it's truly good is because they didn't make it.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. You know, if they were gonna do this, they should have taken a page out of our friend over here. Ryan Wedding.

[Henry Siprowski]

Oh, yes.

[Ed Larson]

He kind of accomplished this in a weird way.

[Henry Siprowski]

Wow, that's so funny. Even I didn't even think about it like that. Yeah. This guy, he's making the white boy turn different. Dream real.

[Ed Larson]

It is weird how these two stories are kind of similar, but this is.

[Henry Siprowski]

A guy who knows what he's doing. Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

He's not going to just murder and rape. He's just selling drugs.

[Henry Siprowski]

Well, because that's the thing you notice. It's kind of the difference between the Nazis and the mafia.

[Ed Larson]

Oh, interesting.

[Henry Siprowski]

You're just there to murder and rape. A lot of people are not gonna be super into it because a lot of times people are like, I don't have to be, you know, like. Because I know a lot of people. I'm not to yuck anybody.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Siprowski]

Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

Obviously, Tanner's very it.

[Henry Siprowski]

But the idea is that, like, you know, Nazis kind of thought that all the murder and the rape and all the torture would, like, catch on and everybody like, wow. Yeah. This is awesome. You know, you have to do this. Yeah. Oh, cool. And I think you, like, they didn't really register that most people don't like it and it bums people out. And the drug dealers, on the other hand, if you can make money and you can help, I can help you make money. And we all just make money.

[Ed Larson]

Yes. Seems like people like it. Yep. So Ryan Wedding, former Canadian Olympic snowboarder.

[Henry Siprowski]

I love this.

[Ed Larson]

He is not meddled or anything. He is now one of the heads maybe of the Caloa cartel in Mexico.

[Henry Siprowski]

What was that?

[Ed Larson]

What's that?

[Henry Siprowski]

White Rap group in Canada. Is it Snow?

[Ed Larson]

Snow the informer?

[Henry Siprowski]

Yeah. Was it Informer?

[Ed Larson]

I think it's just one guy. I think Snow is one man.

[Henry Siprowski]

Dude, dude. Talk about. Can we have the no informer version of this? That's what this is, man. This man kills the informer.

[Ed Larson]

Dude.

[Henry Siprowski]

He is white as he went.

[Ed Larson]

He was again El Chapo's cartel.

[Henry Siprowski]

Yes. Canadian snowboarder. He goes. I guess he's first arrested for like. So I get. He does, I think. Was it the 2002 Olympics?

[Ed Larson]

Yes.

[Henry Siprowski]

And he didn't medal. He kind of gave it up, I guess. Yes.

[Ed Larson]

Well, you have to. And you're at age, but I feel.

[Henry Siprowski]

Like a lot of people, you know, there's certain things you can do. I don't know. I don't know if you got to give it up. But then he gave it up for something way more lucrative.

[Ed Larson]

Drug trafficking.

[Henry Siprowski]

And he got arrested in la.

[Ed Larson]

Yes. Yeah, he did. But now he's down. They're looking for him. He is on the FBI's most wanted list as one of the heads of the Sinaloa cartel.

[Henry Siprowski]

Dude, it is. That's not like your local mom and pop cartel either. You know what I mean? This isn't the low level, one of the successful.

[Ed Larson]

I. That's. I guess that's a weird way to put it. One of the most successful cartels in history. Historic cartel.

[Henry Siprowski]

Yeah. And he also is one of those guys where they, they keep raising the amount of money. Like the reward is something between like 10 or $15 million. Now they keep raising it and they're like, that's how you know how well connected he is. It's 15 million because the fact that no one.

Like just getting that money. Yeah. No one's a white guy in, In Mexico.

[Ed Larson]

No. He's running some.

[Henry Siprowski]

He's running something.

[Ed Larson]

He's right. He's really doing a good. They're, they're. They have no idea where he is either. They have like a picture of him at a coffee shop, but they're like, he may be in the U. S. Canada, Colombia, Honduras, Guatemala, Costa Rica or elsewhere.

[Henry Siprowski]

Dude, he's like, they call him like.

[Ed Larson]

That's like half of the. That's all continent, man. And he's in North America. Not even Colombia's in South America.

[Henry Siprowski]

America, dude. And his nickname is El Jefe Grande. They call him the Grande. And then. Oh yeah, once one's bad, they call him buddy.

[Ed Larson]

Oh, yeah.

[Henry Siprowski]

You know, that's not a nickname.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, that's probably what he calls everybody.

Giant and public enemy Are also his names Giant?

[Henry Siprowski]

Giant.

[Ed Larson]

To just be known as Giant. Yeah. Well, this guy, he is. Pam Bondi's looking for his ass. Well, you know, that means he'll.

[Henry Siprowski]

That means he's lucky.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He'll get away. But yeah, dude, the fact that, that he's running this is insane to me because also El Chapo's son just like rolled over on everyone. He didn't roll over on him.

[Henry Siprowski]

Nope.

[Ed Larson]

This was yesterday, I believe.

[Henry Siprowski]

Yep.

[Ed Larson]

And. And then. So no one knows exactly where this guy is. Also, another Sonola cartel leader was just killed yesterday. El Pinchon.

[Henry Siprowski]

Well, that was like one of those. Because now we're just, we're just in a semi hot war. Right, With Mexico, essentially right now.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I guess so we're always are, I guess.

[Henry Siprowski]

But I thought that we didn't do that for a long time and now it's like. Because it's our, our administration's particular obsession, I believe that we are. We're. We've really ramped it up.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, we've ramped it up. We've also ramped it up against Venezuela. But that's a whole nother story. That's a whole nother thing. But yeah. So this guy, he's out there, they're looking for him, but it seems like he's just successful.

[Henry Siprowski]

Yeah. You know what? And that is a sign of success, I think.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Siprowski]

You know? Cause like, you know, I worked with, with, I'll always remember, I worked with John Hawks on the Amy Schumer show.

[Ed Larson]

John Hawks.

[Henry Siprowski]

He played Saul.

[Ed Larson]

I love John Hawks.

[Henry Siprowski]

Been one of my favorite actors in the world, Deadwood.

[Ed Larson]

And he also played the, the guy who gets jerked off a bunch by Helen Hunt.

[Henry Siprowski]

Yeah, he's great at getting jerked off in that movie.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Siprowski]

And he said that I always remember because he's like, he didn't have a cell phone, he doesn't have a computer. If they need to go get him, they go out to his ranch. They literally like fax him at his ranch. They email him scripts to his little ranch. That's the only way that you can find him. Him. That's the El Jefe, man. Yeah, that's the El Jefe way. He lets things come to him.

[Ed Larson]

You know, Carrot Top doesn't have a.

[Henry Siprowski]

Computer or it's because he keeps smashing it. Yeah, whatever. His props.

[Ed Larson]

It's a banana. Yeah. But no. So they believe. The FBI believes Wedding has ordered dozens of murders across the globe, including the United States, Canada and Latin America. They say he's Orchestrated the murder of US Federal witnesses to testify against him. And it's gunned down in a restaurant in Medellin, Colombia, early this year.

[Henry Siprowski]

Dude, this guy is legit. He must have been quite the competitor. But he didn't medal.

[Ed Larson]

No, he didn't medal. It was not a great snow. I mean, he was a great snowboarder. He became an Olympian.

[Henry Siprowski]

But how sad is that with. With that. That kind of stuff? You think about how like you train your whole life for the stupid Olympics. It's the only thing you do. It's the thing you. That man's been snowboarding since he was a child. Yeah, right. And then you get the one time you make it all the way. You beat. Beat every other snowboarder in Canada in order to get on the snowboarding Canada Olympic team. And then you don't medal. And it's like you did nothing.

[Ed Larson]

I mean, this guy's dad has to be proud of him.

[Henry Siprowski]

Well, yeah, the dad is, but nobody else is. That's got to be the most brutal feeling in the world when you have done nothing. You've done nothing but win. You've won your way across the country and then you get to the last, last place where you got to win, and then you it up. God.

[Ed Larson]

I mean, now he's one. He's in the last place where he has to won. This seems like he's one.

[Henry Siprowski]

My motherfucker's living the life. Whatever's going on. Yeah, he's a murderer and God knows every other thing he's done. But honestly, this is the best sports career I've seen since O.J.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Siprowski]

Like, that's an incredible sports sport. Post sports career.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. So if you have any even better.

[Henry Siprowski]

Who's that even better, better post sports career than this?

[Ed Larson]

Than this?

[Henry Siprowski]

Bill Belichick. He's dating a 24 year old.

[Ed Larson]

I mean, that's horrible. He's doing. Dude, his life looks so miserable, to be honest.

[Henry Siprowski]

Place that I guess that he's so.

[Ed Larson]

Bad he can't even win college football right now.

[Henry Siprowski]

No, he's just. He's very distracted.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. But if anyone has information on Ryan wedding. Keep it to yourself.

[Henry Siprowski]

Keep it to yourself. He'll shoot you in the head. Yeah, I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go out here to extra say I have no idea where he is.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, I had no idea. And here's your continued success.

[Henry Siprowski]

Honestly.

[Ed Larson]

Here's your continued success.

[Henry Siprowski]

And honestly, until I hear otherwise, congratulations, El.

We'll be your podcast. Honestly, we'll be your Sean Pen. I will Be honestly. Come here. We can talk about this. I can get you access to amazing people. David D. Mount.

[Ed Larson]

Yes.

[Henry Siprowski]

I can get you access to. Who else can I get access to? I get him access to.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. Who else?

[Henry Siprowski]

All sorts of people. I can get them access to a lot of stuff. A lot of people looking for.

[Ed Larson]

I can't even say it. I know. I know. Bob Sackett's widow. Wow.

[Henry Siprowski]

Holy. Stop bragging.

[Ed Larson]

Oh, man. Yeah. Ryan, best of luck to you, buddy. And we mean you. Or do we just neutral? We're not neutral. Yeah. We're not trying to get you caught. We're just talking about your story.

[Henry Siprowski]

You're just. We literally were deeply impressed. Right. But I'm certain he's a murderer. We know he's bad. All right. Before you guys all terrorist to shreds. We know he's a bad.

[Ed Larson]

We know he's bad. We're just actually scared of him.

[Henry Siprowski]

We are genuinely frightened and sort of proud. Yeah. Just a little bit.

[Ed Larson]

Oh, man.

[Henry Siprowski]

They say if you want to go fast, go alone. But if you want to go far, go together.

[Ed Larson]

At Amica Insurance, we're built for our.

[Henry Siprowski]

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[Ed Larson]

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[Henry Siprowski]

Taxes and fees extra c mint mobile.com.

[Ed Larson]

You see this is another really crazy slash sad story. But it's right up our alley so I feel like we got to talk about it. The one out of Ocala is Ocala. Ocala, Florida story.

[Henry Siprowski]

This story's fucked up.

[Ed Larson]

A woman from the UK traveled to the United States to have a man from Ocala. Horrible place. Don't.

[Henry Siprowski]

If you're going to be tortured and murdered anywhere, don't voluntarily. Yeah, that's really bad. Miami.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. At least. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's just not even. There's nothing worth. Although they are building AALA up. It is. It is better than it used to be.

[Henry Siprowski]

Are you being paid by Okala to say that?

[Ed Larson]

No, I just know that it is technically better. They're trying to Port St. Lucie it and make it a respectable place. Sure. But this guy lived there. His.

[Henry Siprowski]

This guy. This guy's one of these. He's got a real long chin beard. So that was the last picture of the old picture of him they had. He's a real long like goatee. Guys who grow the goatee real long is pretty interesting look.

[Ed Larson]

So Sonia Excelbe, she was 32. She was from Portsmouth, England. She flew into Gainesville Airport on October 10th and then found this man, Dwayne Hall, 53 years old. She contacted him online and talked to him about murdering her. She was suicidal and she was like I want to. She. I guess she realized she couldn't do it herself so she thought this guy would. She fetishized getting murdered.

[Henry Siprowski]

Yes. And she met him on a fetish website. This is very obviously when we covered the Arvin Myvis. We covered the Arwen Myvis case. This is the kind of a similar mechanism where she said like. Like not only do I want to be murdered, I want it to be horrific. I want to be tortured. I want it to be a whole process. They spent a long time communicating with each other, kind of setting up the parameters for it.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. And then she flew over here, met with him. He started to kill her.

[Henry Siprowski]

Started to do what he. They sort of had agreed to do.

[Ed Larson]

Seems like they had sex a couple times as well.

[Henry Siprowski]

Well or they. Or it Seems who depends on he felt filmed it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Ed Larson]

He filmed it and then deleted it. And then they were able to recover the video.

[Henry Siprowski]

Yes.

[Ed Larson]

So nothing's ever deleted, by the way.

[Henry Siprowski]

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, yeah. And so they. They deleted it and. And then he ended up killing her. And then he stabbed her a bunch. And then he mailed the knife to his friend and he got caught with.

[Henry Siprowski]

All of it now, didn't she? We now know that there were some communications.

That she was trying to maybe tell somebody. I've changed my mind.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, it seemed like she like. But it was already too long.

[Henry Siprowski]

Oh, yes.

[Ed Larson]

It was already too far gone.

[Henry Siprowski]

She was already in there.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, she was already in there. This guy's a murderer. Well, he's just looking for people to.

[Henry Siprowski]

Murder on the Internet, but also the guy, technically, it's that fucked up thing that we covered with that case where they, like, at what point when you set up, like, Obviously, side stories. LPOTL gmail.com. we have so many people in the King community and we know that there's so many rules. Rules. And like, obviously in this, the murder is a psychopath. It's bad. But you're in a scenario where you've been talking about it for weeks and you're telling somebody word for word, whatever I say, you keep doing it. Yeah, whatever I say, you keep doing it. And then you're now in the middle of it and you're saying, I don't want to do it anymore. To me, I would be like, if I was a guy looking to voluntarily kill somebody, I would really want to make sure. Sure that that was really a certain decision.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Siprowski]

And I would be checking in all the time and I would be giving them ample room to leave the situation.

[Ed Larson]

Nice.

[Henry Siprowski]

Because I, you know, you're a good guy. I'm new.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, you're new at this, but Excel B messaged her friend on Discord on October 11. She said he made it clear that there's no way out unless I shoot him. I was questioning it last night. I thought he'd do it quick and not give my mind time to stew. So there was. She was still stuck for a while, but her body was found in a shallow grave a week later. Yeah. And then, I mean, he's then sent the reason they knew that he did it because they found. He bought a brand new shovel to dig the grave.

[Henry Siprowski]

I mean, you got to.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. And then they found a special day. They found the sticker from the new shovel in the ground next to her in her. In the, in the grave. And then they knew he bought. Then they found the shovel at his house with her DNA on it.

[Henry Siprowski]

Oh, wow.

[Ed Larson]

Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So he was just at that point.

[Henry Siprowski]

But as he should be.

[Ed Larson]

As he should be. Yes, of course. Yeah. He's arrested with. Charged of first degree murder, kidnapping, credit card fraud. Because he took her credit cards. Bought, bought a bunch of. As you do. And he's. He's done. It is. It did. Is just a bunch of evidence to get him.

[Henry Siprowski]

Oh yeah, he's done. He's done. He's. Yeah, he's definitely. He's a murderer.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. And she was, she wanted to take it back and he went through with it anyway and did it. Yeah. This is freaking horrifying. Weird case. I'm sure a lot more stuff's going to come out about this.

[Henry Siprowski]

Absolutely. It's just. I can't believe in this year of 2025 that this still happening because like actually I was just reading about some, some old. That went and got.

[Ed Larson]

He.

[Henry Siprowski]

He was a part of a European suicide service and he went and he used it himself. He was like 92. It's like a doctor and they do it with like a medical facility and they put a hot shot in you and they do all this stuff and.

[Ed Larson]

It'S not the, the weird, weird thing that just slowly stops giving you oxygen.

[Henry Siprowski]

Like the tube suicide pod though is actually really. Apparently really nice.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Siprowski]

Because it's nitrous. You don't, you don't choke to death.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. You just click the button and you go to sleep.

[Henry Siprowski]

But yeah, because they put. I forgot what it is. The gas. It's like another type of gas where it's like it's, it's something that they. Oh yeah. He's immediately as Rob is like this suicide help is available. Available.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. Help us Available. Yeah.

[Henry Siprowski]

No, no, don't worry. No, no, no. We're doing this for entertainment.

[Ed Larson]

988 Suicide Outline.

[Henry Siprowski]

Of course.

[Ed Larson]

Always just call.

[Henry Siprowski]

Always call to check in, make sure they're okay.

[Ed Larson]

Well, there was three people living their best life in the Florida Keys this week.

[Henry Siprowski]

Oh yeah. Oh yeah. When you go ahead and you put the dick down in a wind Dixie. This came in really hot off the pipe right before we got recording here. Florida Trio.

[Ed Larson]

Yes. Marathon, Florida. Three people were arrested after authorities in the Florida were found having sex while heavily intoxicated in a wind Dixie parking lot in the middle of the day.

[Henry Siprowski]

You know, people say Life ends at 40, but not according to these guys. If you look at them. Sharon. Helen. I'm going to say her name is Saplinsky, 45, Marathon. Marshall Adam Lowry, 43, of Key Largo. Oh, what a sexy town. Michael McDonald, Howard, 59F Marathon. They were all cornhole on each other. Inside of a car, inside of a parking lot of a Winn Dixie. And if you see the three of them, you know why? Because the sexual energy is off the char.

[Ed Larson]

Yes, the south did rise again.

[Henry Siprowski]

Oh, man. Oh, man. Now my question is, were the boys kissing?

[Ed Larson]

Most likely. I mean, it seems boys were kissing. Actually, you know what? I'm looking at these guys.

[Henry Siprowski]

No, no, no. You think the boys were. Didn't start off the kicking of the night.

[Ed Larson]

You know, honestly, these three, they all look like criminals. Not to be a bad guy, judgmental person. They all look like criminals. Let them do it, you know, Promise.

[Henry Siprowski]

It's middle day, buddy.

[Ed Larson]

It is the middle of the day.

[Henry Siprowski]

It's middle day. And it's a pr. It's a private business parking lot. You know, I mean, in your. If they were in the driveway of their home.

[Ed Larson]

You're right. Take it to a Ramada. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Henry Siprowski]

Don't you want air? Do you want. Don't you want. Want.

Walls? It just helps, you know, because it sounds like I'm going to guess what they were doing. My guess, her tits were out and she was jerking them off.

[Ed Larson]

And while sitting on another man, I'm guessing or all three of them are in trouble.

[Henry Siprowski]

She's just doing this.

[Ed Larson]

If you're just sitting in the front seat watching, do you get in Trouble?

[Henry Siprowski]

Side stories. LPOTL gmail.com I actually don't know.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. And also I will say they're lucky they did this at a wind Dixie, not a Publix, because they would have thrown. Throwing the book at him when they did this out of Publix.

[Henry Siprowski]

To be honest. When Dixie. They told him to come back. Yeah, they were like, yeah, honestly, we have a sale. Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

Chuck Cola is really cheap today. If you really.

[Henry Siprowski]

If you really want to, honestly. We've got turkey breast.

[Ed Larson]

It's like, come get some of our hologram ham.

[Henry Siprowski]

Yeah, when you guys come. Come on inside. We actually just made some holla.

Because it's almost. It's almost Hanukkah and I know you guys must be celebrating soon.

[Ed Larson]

Oh, man, they look Jewish. Jewish? No, these people are not Jewish.

[Henry Siprowski]

Oh, wow. No. Yeah. No, not waspy names.

[Ed Larson]

There is nothing. There is nothing Jewish about these people.

[Henry Siprowski]

Just checking.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. No, no, no, no, no.

[Henry Siprowski]

Oh, here we go.

[Ed Larson]

All right.

[Henry Siprowski]

Except for some letters, I think.

[Ed Larson]

Oh, yeah. Let's hear. I think we did listen or mail.

[Henry Siprowski]

I think we did enough.

Yeah. Who did that one? That one is from Peyton Perkins Proster. Thank you, P. Thank you, Pton. Very nice.

[Ed Larson]

That's sweet.

[Henry Siprowski]

For those of you that sent in.

[Ed Larson]

Sad widower stories, we'll get to them. We promise.

[Henry Siprowski]

We're going to be reading them or we're going to go through them.

[Ed Larson]

I'm going to go through them and I'm going to, like, make them bearable.

[Henry Siprowski]

But last stream on the left, we will announce a winner of the foot dildo.

[Ed Larson]

It's right there behind.

[Henry Siprowski]

We will choose the saddest widower story behind the sign, if you need.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. Oh, okay. I see. Oh, you put it back in the packaging.

[Henry Siprowski]

Yeah. We're going to talk about it. They're going to get that. They're going to get that foot dildo.

[Ed Larson]

Well, then we have the other ones. The actual vaginas.

[Henry Siprowski]

Yes. And we did say those are usable.

[Ed Larson]

The foot one. We already touched it a bunch and so it's not like we didn't it.

[Henry Siprowski]

If you're a widower, do not any of these fake.

[Ed Larson]

Why not?

[Henry Siprowski]

I guess it's probably best.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, let them the fake man.

[Henry Siprowski]

You know what want. All right.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Siprowski]

Oh, you win.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, let them. What are you talking about?

[Henry Siprowski]

You win.

[Ed Larson]

They made them, we didn't. They're still packaged.

[Henry Siprowski]

I want them to. I want them to.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. Just make sure you follow the cleaning instructions.

[Henry Siprowski]

Yeah. Get a hose.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Siprowski]

Here we go. I love this. My father was sextorted.

[Ed Larson]

Oh.

[Henry Siprowski]

After hearing about your sextortion segment on side stories today, I. I figured I'd write about my dad. Ten years ago, I woke up for work and there was a Facebook message from who I thought was my dad. He and I were always a bit estranged, so I find it kind of odd that he'd have messaged me at all, let alone 3am Figured he was just drunk messaging me randomly. Or worst case scenario, something had happened to a family member. Little did I know, it could be worse than that. The message request was a video. And as I'm on the toilet pushing up my morning poop, I hit play. All I could really see was a silhouette of a man in the distance in a room that appeared to be illuminated by a television screen. Screen. I figured it was supposed to be a funny video he shared. But the figure started walking closer. I soon realized that that figure was clearly masturbating. I'm thinking to myself, why is this sending me a Video of some jerking off. And then it hit me. It was my father absolutely going to town on his penis looking into a webcam. Apparently he got some sort of message from a person or a pre recorded video of a woman touching herself inviting him to join her. My father being my father, naturally obliged. After some time, according to him, the messages started saying that he was caught on camera. And if you don't send X amount of money to Yada yada, they were going to share this video to everyone on his friends list. Little did the scammers know, my dad gave absolutely zero about anything and said, go ahead, I don't give a fuck.

[Ed Larson]

That's what I said.

[Henry Siprowski]

Yep. It certainly wasn't the worst shit I'd heard from my dad, but I absolutely wasn't expecting to get a video of the man beating on his dick. The created me while I was taking a. Later, when I asked him what the hell was that all about, he explained it to me. He couldn't stop laughing. You have to be in my up family to find the humor. My sister and a few cousins also got the video. Oh, no. We still joke about it to this day. I guess they had cloned his account to make me think it was him sending it. We lost pops in August to cancer that spread throughout his body, which was fitting because he was an hell, but he was a funny one.

That was. That made me laugh. That made me laugh.

[Ed Larson]

Oh, my God. How much he didn't care and how much the family didn't care. I feel bad they had to see.

[Henry Siprowski]

It, but still, like, just. I just love that it bounced right off of him.

[Ed Larson]

I like that, the guy taking it. If someone sent me a video of someone jerking off, I would immediately shut it off. But he's taking a. And he's like, what is he doing?

[Henry Siprowski]

What is this?

[Ed Larson]

What's going on?

[Henry Siprowski]

What are you doing?

[Ed Larson]

Who's the that? Oh, is that my dad?

[Henry Siprowski]

Oh, yeah. I'd be screaming. I'd be screaming. I would have a seizure if I saw my father masturbating.

[Ed Larson]

But, you know, you also. He wasn't a beloved father.

[Henry Siprowski]

No, I think that actually kind of weirdly helps.

[Ed Larson]

Makes it easier.

[Henry Siprowski]

Yes.

[Ed Larson]

Oddly enough, if it's like a good father, he probably would have paid the money.

[Henry Siprowski]

Yeah, you might have. Who knows?

[Ed Larson]

All right, here we go.

[Henry Siprowski]

Here's another one. My grandmother has been hit with the scams hard in the past.

[Ed Larson]

Oh, another. Oh, here we go.

[Henry Siprowski]

She sent computers to. Because Mark Zuckerberg asked her to. She sent tens of thousands of dollars to these Scammers one saying that because she wouldn't give him money, she had to commit. He had to commit himself. And now they won't let him out unless she sends money, which she did because she felt bad. Anyway, when we finally figured out what she was doing, we put an end to it. She started getting messages saying that they had nude photos of my grandfather with other women and that they would release him to the public and humiliate her. My grandfather, whom is the biggest perverted old dog you could ever imagine.

[Ed Larson]

Oh, so she believed it. Yep.

[Henry Siprowski]

Told my grandmother to ask the people to send them to him. And he was excited about showing the public about how much action he was still getting. You see, that's fun. Again, dementia can be really, really fun.

Because. But. But it could also.

[Ed Larson]

We don't know.

[Henry Siprowski]

No, no, no, no. Absolutely not. No.

[Ed Larson]

Oh, my God.

[Henry Siprowski]

No. No. It was just. The lady had already become a very, very fertile ground for scammers. So more people can. You gotta be careful.

[Ed Larson]

Scammers put them in prison forever. I mean, I hate scammers more than anybody.

[Henry Siprowski]

There was a. I was just following a case last night was on 48 Hours about a dentist that got. Essentially got a. His assistant addicted to drugs. And then she started getting in a relationship with him, and then he would manipulate her by giving her drugs and doing all this kind of stuff. And there. There was something to that where at that very end, they were going to go through the sentencing. They couldn't really figure out what the crime was. A lot of times it was kind of trying to figure out, like, okay, if. If you go. If she voluntarily taking the drugs, if you got to find this kind of evidence. And it turns out he got this sort of type of murder plea, which is he. It's. It's called depraved heart murder.

[Ed Larson]

Okay.

[Henry Siprowski]

Where because of his actions as both a doctor and as a person, it's like some. It's not. It's like a. It's a version of second degree murder.

[Ed Larson]

It's like, this should be illegal.

[Henry Siprowski]

Yes.

[Ed Larson]

We have to do something.

[Henry Siprowski]

We have to figure out how to do this. And so he got the book thrown at him. 40 years, like the minimum. Supposed to be like 20, 25, how much they gave guys, but they gave 40 because he was a doctor. Because it said the same thing. You should. This. We have to make an example of you.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. You should know better.

[Henry Siprowski]

Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

As a doctor. These scammers are crazy. I get texts all the time from scammers and they've really like, I hate how they, like, straight up prey on loneliness. Like, it's just always like, oh, how you been? Let's get sushi tomorrow, and stuff like that. Those are the texts I've been getting.

[Henry Siprowski]

Oh, yeah, and it's just like, very, very interesting. They're all like, you going to Deirdre tonight? Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

It's really crazy.

[Henry Siprowski]

Pictures of your fucking balls, man.

[Ed Larson]

Oh, well, then I'm going to start getting the other one.

[Henry Siprowski]

Hey, but then, hey, cool.

[Ed Larson]

You know what? I just. I just need to have like a crazy dick pic ready of someone else.

[Henry Siprowski]

Yeah, Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

I need. So, you know.

[Henry Siprowski]

You need what, Robert or Irwin? Robert Irwin, the chef. The celebrity chef. I showed you the penis before. I thought you meant that.

[Ed Larson]

You meant that? Yeah.

[Henry Siprowski]

I'm never talking about the crocodile.

[Ed Larson]

No, because that's the same name of the guy who just won Dancing with the Stars.

[Henry Siprowski]

Oh, yeah. Oh, never him. No, I don't even know he existed. I'm talking about Robert Irwin the. I'm talking about the chef with a huge hog. This is who everybody thinks you're talking about. No, not him. That's a boy. It's his child. He's got a little penis. God knows how little his penis is. That's a little child. I wouldn't talk about him. Talking about Robert Irvin the man, man, you know what you need to have?

[Ed Larson]

What?

[Henry Siprowski]

You gotta have. What's his name's penis on your phone. You gotta have Lenny Kravitz.

[Ed Larson]

Lenny Kravitz's penis. I'll keep that on my phone. The wife. The wife wouldn't mind that. Well, then.

[Henry Siprowski]

Honestly, they don't let her say it. Yeah, keep for yourself.

[Ed Larson]

I bet Letty Clarence's penis is beautiful. It is.

[Henry Siprowski]

Have you ever seen this picture?

[Ed Larson]

I don't want to see his actual penis.

[Henry Siprowski]

It's right here.

[Ed Larson]

What are you talking about?

[Henry Siprowski]

Popped out on stage.

[Ed Larson]

Oh, it popped out on stage?

[Henry Siprowski]

Yeah, it was on stage. Oh, man, this is interesting. Innocent.

[Ed Larson]

Hell yeah, man, that flew away.

[Henry Siprowski]

Honestly, it popped out like a salamander's tongue. It zips out. He looks like a giant evil butterfly.

[Ed Larson]

I love Lenny Kravitz.

[Henry Siprowski]

We all. We do. And the ladies do as well. Because he's got a big old cranking hole and it just zap right out. Well, yeah, there, you know, even the blur is big.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, it wasn't. Yeah, it wasn't going this way, huh?

[Henry Siprowski]

Yeah, I actually do think it is.

[Ed Larson]

I do think it is.

[Henry Siprowski]

You just, you know, you gotta. You really gotta wear more relaxed pants.

[Ed Larson]

Oh, all right.

[Henry Siprowski]

Go check Live every day knowing for a fact you can survive a funeral at Thanksgiving. And you can laugh about it later on with your family knowing about how it was. There's a lot to deal with emotionally. But you could also love the fact that it's probably never gonna happen again.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Siprowski]

And that it's. That you can have beautiful, cherished times with the family. Family. And. And still then celebrate Thanksgiving later on.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. This is your last Thanksgiving funeral. I'm calling it.

[Henry Siprowski]

Yeah. I. I think that it's. It's a hard day.

[Ed Larson]

It's a hard day already because guess what?

[Henry Siprowski]

Food gets cold.

[Ed Larson]

Food definitely gets cold. It's not. Yeah, no. We're already busy on Thanksgiving.

[Henry Siprowski]

Super busy. Sorry to put it all together. It's hard to throw an event of that. Of that nature.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, I know. But it's the only funeral on Thanksgiving. Should be for the turkey.

[Henry Siprowski]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

And then I said, that's a fun one because we all eat it.

[Henry Siprowski]

Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

We're gonna be in Vegas on Sunday.

Come and hang out with Henry and I, Wise guys, Town Center. This Sunday, December 7th at 6:30pm it's gonna be a lot of fun. We're having a blast. We'll be. I got some stuff I'm gonna give away because we've been doing the reverse Q&As at the end of the show.

[Henry Siprowski]

Yes.

[Ed Larson]

And we gave away some stuff this past when we gave. We gave away a bunch of Damarino cards that Henry and I signed.

[Henry Siprowski]

Mind.

[Ed Larson]

But I got some stuff to give away at this next show. I'm very excited. So come on out. We're gonna have a blast. It's gonna be a great time.

[Henry Siprowski]

Almost sold out, too.

[Ed Larson]

No. Yeah.

[Henry Siprowski]

It's getting close. It's doing good. It just. Honestly, it's just. Oh. Out by where the people live.

[Ed Larson]

Yes.

[Henry Siprowski]

So if you're a people of things.

[Ed Larson]

I want Vegas locals.

[Henry Siprowski]

I want the. I want people of Vegas to come.

[Ed Larson]

Tourists are welcome, but I want the locals.

[Henry Siprowski]

Yes.

[Ed Larson]

I want you guys there. I want to know you. We go to Vegas enough where you should be friends. George Knapp, get your ass out there. I want to see you at our show. Also, I got some standup shows coming up. January 4th at Oxnard Levity Live. That's a Sunday. It's going to be a hard one to get people out to. So please come enjoy us. It's going to be a lot of fun. I got Holden McNeely and Jake Young doing a set. Julia Johns and Carolina Hindalgo. It's going to be a lot of fun. That'll be a lot of fun. And then on February 18th, they're going to be the punchline in San Francisco Francisco with Grant Gordon. Come check it out. It's gonna be a blast. I love you guys. That's it.

[Henry Siprowski]

That is it.

[Ed Larson]

That's all we got, baby.

[Henry Siprowski]

So go check it out. Go check out all our horseshit, cuz. Last podcast left Coach back and Christmas is right around the corner, isn't it? You can really feel the pressure.

[Ed Larson]

We gotta do some extra work, get ahead for Christmas so we can take some time off.

[Henry Siprowski]

I'm gonna blow my brains out.

[Ed Larson]

You love it.

[Henry Siprowski]

I do.

[Ed Larson]

I got more work for you to do. Yay.

Yeah. Hail Akron.

[Henry Siprowski]

Yeah. Oddly enough.

[Ed Larson]

They say if you want.

[Henry Siprowski]

To go fast, go alone. But if you want to go far, go together. At Amica Insurance, we're built for our customers. And prioritize your needs. Call 877-41-America and get a quote. Today, here's a quick podcast for all you true crime fans. The Case of the Missing Reese's. It was me at the store with my mouth. Motive. They're Reese's. What was I going to do? Stop myself? Tune in next time to see if I do it again. Spoiler. I will. Wow, that had everything. Reese's suspense Rees.