Still Holding On To Guilt?

by Autumn Dickson

This week we’re learning about the sacrifices and rituals of the Israelites in the wilderness. They had a temple that would go with them as they travelled, and there was immense symbolism all throughout this temple. Much of this symbolism was meant to draw the attention of the Israelites towards the atonement of Jesus Christ. It was called a sacrifice, but it was actually a blessing.

One of the detailed rituals that we get to read about occurs on Yom Kippur, or Day of Atonement. The central ritual on this day involved two identical male goats, both had to be perfectly healthy. Here are some of the details of that ritual.

Leviticus 16:7-8

7 And he shall take the two goats, and present them before the Lord at the door of the tabernacle of the congregation.

8 And Aaron shall cast lots upon the two goats; one lot for the Lord, and the other lot for the scapegoat.

So the priest would cast lots to see which goat would take which role. The first goat would be killed, and its blood would be collected in a basin. The high priest would take that blood into the Holy of Holies and sprinkle it upward once and downward seven times. The fat would be burned, and the rest of the goat would be taken outside the camp and burned.

This symbolized the payment of Israel’s sins.

The second goat was the scapegoat. The high priest would lay both hands on the goat and confess all of the intentional and unintentional sins of Israel upon the head of the goat. Essentially, the priest was symbolically transferring the guilt to the goat. A designated man would lead the goat into the remote wilderness and release it.

This symbolized the guilt being removed from the Israelites.

I love that they are separate processes. There are so many layers of symbolism, but one of the layers is something I talk about often:

Christ already paid for the sins; what do we do with this knowledge?

Think about the power of that second goat when it was taken as it was meant to be taken. Imagine being an Israelite and watching these rituals take place. You watch the ritual with the understanding that the Son of God would be sacrificed to pay for your sins, and then you watch another ritual in which your guilt runs off into the wilderness.

I think one of the issues that we have in modern times is believing that the atonement of Jesus Christ occurred but holding on to our own sins anyway. It would be like having an understanding that the Son of God was sacrificed, watching the scapegoat be taken away, and still going home to reflect and beat yourself up over your own sins. The sacrifice of the first goat doesn’t matter if you refuse to let go of the second goat. The fact that the second goat is now out in the wilderness didn’t matter. You have to internalize both parts to receive joy.

The atonement of Jesus Christ was incredible in and of itself. The act of love was immense and singular. Everything hinged on this sacrifice performed by Christ. But Christ didn’t perform the sacrifice just to perform the sacrifice. The atonement of Jesus Christ enabled the Father to remain perfect with His promises, but it was meant for even more than that incredible purpose. It was meant to make us joyful. The atonement of Jesus Christ remains an independent fact of reality, but what we do with that knowledge determines whether it fills the fullness of its purpose in our lives.

If Yom Kippur had only included the first goat, the Israelites could have learned about Christ and His atonement. They could have rejoiced that He paid for their sins, and they could have garnered hope from this sacrifice. But I love that it included the second goat, the scapegoat, because it highlights our need to utilize the atonement of Jesus Christ in our lives.

It’s not enough that He performed it; we have to bring that knowledge into our bones so that it changes us in a way that we are joyful. We have to send our guilt away from us. We have to put the weight down. It’s a conscious, voluntary choice.

I think many of us hope the guilt will simply be taken away from us, or at least that’s what I used to think. I believed that if I was truly forgiven, I just wouldn’t feel guilty anymore. The Lord would remove it for me. Interestingly enough, that’s not how it usually works. The Lord is too wise to vanish our guilt away from us.

The process of repentance wouldn’t be nearly as effective in this way. If the Lord simply took away the guilt because it was paid for, we would learn nothing and we certainly wouldn’t attach that redemption to the Son of God. We would just wake up in the morning and not feel guilty anymore. We might not even register the fact that the guilt was gone or we could unconsciously start to believe, “I can do what I want, and I don’t feel bad about it. Maybe it’s not even bad.” There were many times that I wanted the Lord to take the guilt away. I didn’t want to carry it with me and I asked the Lord to take it away, but He was wise enough to wait for me to trust Him enough to set it down on my own.

He waited for me to consciously say, “Christ promised that He took care of this. He promised that He’s strong enough to save me. I’m going to voluntarily step onto that trust and send my guilt away.” This is the most powerful way to repent. It pushes us to recognize the source of our renewed cleanliness as well as the fact that what we did was wrong. Having consequences (including guilt) magically dissipate is unhealthy for our desire to do better.

So the Lord paid for it, and then He waits for us to learn to trust Him so that we send the guilt away of our own accord.

That’s not to say Christ isn’t present for every step of this process. He paid for the sins, and He didn’t abandon me when I asked Him to take the guilt away. He just helped in a different way than making the guilt dissipate. The Israelites didn’t have to individually lead their own scapegoat into the wilderness. There was still a representative who did that for them. The key here is that it needed to mean something to them. They had to trust that their representative would take care of it, and it would truly be gone.

I’m grateful for a Savior who paid for my sins. I’m grateful that He was patient as I learned to trust Him rather than removing the very difficulties that helped me recognize my reality and love Him for it. I’m grateful that I’ve learned to set my sins and mistakes and embarrassments down; the Savior truly is mighty to save. That knowledge gives me hope in every situation I remember Him in.

Autumn Dickson was born and raised in a small town in Texas. She served a mission in the Indianapolis Indiana mission. She studied elementary education but has found a particular passion in teaching the gospel. Her desire for her content is to inspire people to feel confident, peaceful, and joyful about their relationship with Jesus Christ and to allow that relationship to touch every aspect of their lives. Autumn was the recipient of FAIR’s 2024 John Taylor Defender of the Faith Award.

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