Find Joy in the Wilderness

by Autumn Dickson

When I was studying the Doctrine and Covenants last year, my pattern revolved around learning about the people who were receiving the revelations and how they were feeling so that we could better relate to them and receive the same comfort in the revelations that they did. As I’ve studied the Old Testament thus far, I’ve found a different pattern for learning principles from God. Namely, I look at the details in the class Old Testament stories, and I find the parallels for our day. It’s been powerful and helpful.

So without further ado, here’s another detail from the Moses and Plagues story. The God of the Hebrews is working to free His people from slavery in Egypt. There are some questions that we could ask as to why He didn’t jump right in with the death of the firstborn, but those questions can be asked another time. As the Lord continues on with His work through Moses, Pharaoh appears to relent a couple of times. He tells Moses, “Take back the frogs, and I’ll let them go.” But then he hardens his heart and refuses to free them.

It happens again with the flies. Pharaoh tells Moses to take away the flies and he will let the people go. Here is how Moses responds.

Exodus 8:29 And Moses said, Behold, I go out from thee, and I will entreat the Lord that the swarms of flies may depart from Pharaoh, from his servants, and from his people, to morrow: but let not Pharaoh deal deceitfully any more in not letting the people go to sacrifice to the Lord.

Of course, Pharaoh goes back on his word and refuses to release them. Maybe he was hoping Moses and His God would run out of power and not be able to send any more plagues? Regardless, Pharaoh still holds the Israelites captive.

There is a lot of goodness here, but I want to draw your attention to one detail. Moses wants the Israelites free so that they can go sacrifice to the Lord in the wilderness. This is not the only time this is mentioned. More than once, Moses specifically says this. Pharaoh needs to free the Israelites so that they can go and sacrifice to the Lord out of Egypt and in the wilderness.

Oof. Is there a better way to describe life after we finish our ordinances? We are made free by the death of the Firstborn, we pass through the gate, and what do we see? A whole lot of wilderness. For a long time. Why are we here in the wilderness? It seemed so exciting to be free before. Now it just seems dusty, hot, hard, and uncomfortable.

Interestingly enough, we didn’t walk through those gates to make it into paradise immediately. The gate was just the first step. We’ve been freed from slavery, but we don’t know how to be happy and healthy yet. There are many more lessons to learn. There is a lot of sacrifice to be made so that we can understand what it means to grow to be like the Lord and find what He found. We have a long journey ahead of us.

It’s funny. I remember being on my mission and working long hours with minimal breaks. I remember rushing to write in my journal at night so that I could pass out in my bed on time and get as much sleep as possible because I was so dang tired. I remember mentally aching when I had to leave the dinner table at the houses of members I was close to. I think that was one of the things I missed the most while I was on the mission. I grew up in a family where we all ate dinner together and talked the whole time. We had a lot of family come into town for holidays, and we would sit at the table for a long time afterwards and talk and laugh.

I missed that resting while on my mission. I remember getting on the plane, and I was so excited to eat a meal and then do nothing afterwards. I was excited to rest.

Lol.

I did get some rest for a while, but heaven knows life only speeds up after that. We came here to struggle in the wilderness, to keep putting one foot in front of the other, to make sacrifices and grow and learn what we’re supposed to learn. We didn’t come here to finish all of that so we could rest. We came to sacrifice in the wilderness.

Which sounds horrible, but it doesn’t have to be.

This was a timely lesson for me. I have a goal right now to be grateful for the opportunity to wear myself out in the name of the Lord. I’m not talking about being a martyr, though sometimes that seems to be my default mode. Rather, I’m talking about completely turning my perspective upside down. I didn’t come to earth to preserve energy and my body. I didn’t come here to try and completely annihilate stress from my life or reach some magical point where I feel great enough to give all of myself.

Rather, when I catch the true feeling behind this goal I made, I find rest when I let go of my own concerns and cheerfully and willingly take advantage of these incredible opportunities God has given to me. Someday I’ll get enough sleep (or my body won’t need sleep? I don’t know?). Someday, I’ll have a perfect body and perfect perspective and all my needs met, and I won’t have to reach for those things anymore. They will be given to me. I’ll have a perfectly clean house with everything I could ask for.

Sometimes we get mixed up and wear ourselves out on the things that don’t matter, things that will be freely given to us on the other side. We’re putting all of our energy and hopes and focus on setting foot on that promised land. What if we let go and trusted that the promised land will make it to us at the right time? What if instead, we focused on the gift of the wilderness and what it has to offer?

I have found that when I stop striving to put my feet in the promised land here in mortality, I find beauty and rest and hope and peace in the wilderness.

Moses had it right. He didn’t tell Pharaoh that he was taking the Israelites to the promised land. Sure, that was the eventual goal, but there were some really important goals along the way before they would even be able to enjoy the promised land. Moses told Pharaoh to release the Israelites so that they could go and sacrifice in the wilderness.

When we let go of trying to hold on to ourselves, we find joy in the sacrifices we’re asked to make in the wilderness. That’s a true principle.

I’m grateful my Savior redeemed me. I’m grateful He let me walk through the gate and bind myself to Him through the ordinance of baptism. I’m grateful that He gave me a path with lessons along the way. I’m grateful that I don’t have to worry about reaching the promised land; He’s got that handled. All I have to worry about is learning along the way, sacrificing along the way. I’m grateful for my testimony that He will provide for all that I need in the wilderness.

Autumn Dickson was born and raised in a small town in Texas. She served a mission in the Indianapolis Indiana mission. She studied elementary education but has found a particular passion in teaching the gospel. Her desire for her content is to inspire people to feel confident, peaceful, and joyful about their relationship with Jesus Christ and to allow that relationship to touch every aspect of their lives. Autumn was the recipient of FAIR’s 2024 John Taylor Defender of the Faith Award.

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