Aliens For America 250

Summary

Laugh with Me – Aliens For America 250
Episode Date: June 5, 2026
Host: Jeremy Odman (iHeartPodcasts)

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Episode Overview

In this unusually patriotic and hilarious episode, comedian Jeremy Odman uses the backdrop of America’s 250th birthday celebration to riff on the recent cancellation of the “America 250” concert on the National Mall. Instead of lamenting the underwhelming and dwindling star-studded lineup, Jeremy pitches his most outlandish comedic vision yet: ditch the retro state-fair headliners and make first contact with a REAL alien as the main event. With signature irreverence, Jeremy sketches how America could pull off the greatest Independence Day bash in history—featuring UFO tours, Area 51 amusement rides, and, of course, Will Smith.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Great America 250 Concert Catastrophe

• Jeremy and guest Johnny C. list and lampoon the original State Fair-style concert lineup, including acts like Milli Vanilli, Flo Rida, CNC Music Factory, Young MC, Martina McBride, Vanilla Ice, and the Commodores.
• “When you think about state fairs in general, isn’t this kind of what you think of?” (Jo, 05:23)
• Jeremy pokes at critics: “First of all, enough with the Kid Rock. I think we’re done with the Kid Rock stuff. I think he has expired himself out.” (Jeremy, 06:22)
• The event devolved into political drama with every major artist dropping out, leading to a planned political rally as the backup.

2. Ditch the Fireworks—Bring Out the Aliens!

• Jeremy proposes, tongue firmly in cheek, that for such a milestone, America must have a real extraterrestrial headline the celebration.
• “Forget the acts, forget the fireworks, forget the parades… We need a real headliner. Something we have never seen before and honestly may never see again. Bring out the aliens. That’s right. The headliner now has to be a real alien at America 250.” (Jeremy, 07:11)
• He names the alien “Zorb”—“That’s definitely a guy who’s traveled like 6,000 light years to see what all the fuss is about in America.” (Jeremy, 08:10)

3. Celebrity Humans to Host or Interview Zorb

Jeremy playfully ponders the ideal celebrity hosts for the first contact moment:

• Tom DeLonge (Blink-182)
  • “He spent well over 20 years talking about this, saying that they’re real and they’re out there.” (Jeremy, 09:38)
  • Predicts Tom would spend most of the event telling everyone ‘he was right’ about aliens, wearing a “Tom Was Right” T-shirt and a Padres hat.
• Giorgio Tsoukalos (“Ancient Aliens” guy)
  • “The human exclamation point, what I like to call it. The second Zorb appears, Giorgio’s hair grows like another six inches.” (Jeremy, 10:50)
  • Jokes Giorgio would ask Zorb if aliens built the pyramids, and “he’ll answer, I don’t know… But yes.”
• Will Smith
  • “Because if we’re having aliens, you gotta have the guy from Independence Day.” (Jeremy, 12:29)
  • Imagines Will Smith addressing the crowd with swagger: “‘I told y'all, every Fourth!’ It’s gonna be a bit to him, big performance arc.” (Jeremy, 13:00)

4. Satirical Attractions for America 250

Jeremy maps out the tongue-in-cheek lineup for an “alien-themed” National Mall extravaganza:

• Spaceship Tours:
  • “This sounds amazing until you remember who’s attending, and that’s us Americans. The first spaceship tour is going to last four minutes before somebody asks, can I put a trailer hitch on this thing?” (Jo, 17:53)
• Area 51 Amusement Park:
  • “Forget Ferris wheels. Let’s have Area 51 land, Johnny… It’ll be the happiest conspiracy on earth.” (Jo, 18:29)
    • Rides include:
      • The Abduction Drop Tower (“you wake up 30 seconds later in the gift shop”—19:06)
      • Crop Circle Coasters (“Roller coaster that goes nowhere but leaves confusing patterns in a cornfield”—19:33)
      • The Congressional Hearing Ride (“A simulated ride where government officials almost answer questions for 90 minutes. Parents call it educational. Kids call it bored. Congress calls it a documentary.” (19:45))
• Sports Event: Real Life Space Jam:
  • “Team Earth… LeBron, Steph Curry, random guy from YMCA in Kansas, and Charles Barkley—because somehow Charles gets invited to everything.” (Jo, 20:41)
  • Aliens are “nine feet tall, can teleport, read minds, and shoot a hundred from three-point range.” (Jo, 21:13)
  • “Even with Earth as a 700 point underdog, Barkley still likes our chances.” (Jo, 21:33)

5. Alien Petting Zoo?

• Johnny suggests an “alien petting zoo.”
• Jeremy: “I don’t want to be on the record for putting out there an alien petting zoo. I’m against it. I think it’s dangerous. Because if they’re the ones petting us, it’s not gonna be what you think it is.” (Jo, 22:21)
• “Look, Dad, this one tells jokes. Yeah, I don’t like that one at all.” (Jo, 23:16)

6. The Big Reveal: Zorb Speaks!

• The imagined event culminates with Will Smith interviewing Zorb in front of 100,000 people and military escorts.
• Zorb, reviewing America:
  • “The music is fantastic. Well, thank you, Zorb. The internet comments are horrifying. The people seem nice... The political system appears designed by raccoons.” (Jo, 25:26)
• Eventually, the alien wants citizenship, but only because “Earth has something his planet doesn’t… buffalo wings. That’s it. That’s the entire reason.” (Jo, 26:40)

7. Alien Fireworks and Goodbyes

• The celebration ends with fireworks, alien technology style—“massive lights filling the sky… people are crying, people are cheering. And then, you know, it’s time to leave and there’s going to be lots of complaints about the parking…” (Jo, 27:58)
• Jeremy’s take: “That’s why it needs to be less state fair, more Independence Day turned into a Comic Con.” (Jo, 28:32)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On the State Fair Lineup:
  “Shoot, Flo Rida—his name is spelled Florida. That’s one of the states. A lot of people don’t know that.” (Jeremy, 06:56)

• On Aliens as the Headliner:
  “Bring out the aliens. That’s right. The headliner now has to be a real alien at America 250. I want him unveiled at the National Mall. We’re gonna call him Zorb.” (Jo, 07:20)

• On Tom DeLonge:
  “When he gets on stage and there’s a real life Zorb on stage waving to the people, he’s gonna care less about the alien and more about yelling at the crowd like, ‘who’s crazy now?’” (Jo, 09:58)

• On Giorgio Tsoukalos:
  “The second Zorb appears, Giorgio’s hair grows, like, another six inches. His hairstyle is powered directly by extraterrestrial activity.” (Jo, 10:54)

• On Will Smith:
  “Because if we’re having aliens, you gotta have the guy from Independence Day, right? Will’s gonna walk on stage, look at Zorb, look back at the audience, and just be like, ‘I told y’all, every Fourth.’” (Jo, 13:00)

• Pitching the Amusement Park:
  “It’ll be the happiest conspiracy on earth. Featured attractions could include the abduction drop tower… congressional hearing ride—parents are calling it educational, kids are calling it bored, Congress is calling it a documentary.” (Jo, 18:35—19:49)

• On Space Jam with Aliens:
  “Charles [Barkley] gets invited to everything. Have you noticed? He’s entertaining as hell.” (Jo, 20:52)

• On Zorb’s Review of America:
  “The political system appears designed by raccoons.” (Jo, 25:34)

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Timeline of Key Segments

• 00:01 – 01:28: Opening theme, banter, and episode setup
• 03:00 – 07:10: The faltering America 250 concert lineup and hype
• 07:11 – 08:12: Jeremy’s “alien headliner” pitch for America 250
• 09:00 – 13:30: Rankings and roast of potential celebrity hosts (Tom DeLonge, Giorgio Tsoukalos, Will Smith)
• 17:46 – 19:50: Outlandish event attractions (spaceship tours, Area 51 amusement park)
• 20:41 – 22:19: Space Jam with NBA (and YMCA) greats vs. psychic teleporting aliens
• 22:21 – 23:30: The existential risk of an alien petting zoo
• 24:00 – 27:00: Imagined main event: Zorb reviews America, wants buffalo wings, massive alien fireworks
• 28:00 – 29:27: Reflecting on what America 250 should aspire to—a cosmic state fair meets Comic Con

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Final Thoughts

Jeremy's playful alternate history for America’s 250th birthday is equal parts critique of nostalgia and wish-fulfillment for the extraordinary. His “aliens for America” vision, laced with punchy one-liners and knowing audience winks, imagines a country ready for something far bolder than another cycling of familiar pop acts. A must-listen (or read) if you wish your July 4th was less state-fair-corn-dog and more extraterrestrial chaos.

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Listen for: Satirical hot takes on American tradition, musical nostalgia, celebrity alien hunters, and just possibly the best comedic pitch for a future national holiday.

Transcript

[Akilah Hughes]

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[Jo]

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[Jo]

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[Jonas Brothers (Joe, Kevin, Nick)]

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[Jo]

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[Jo]

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[Jeremy Odman]

Hit that intro. Go laugh with me when the ranch pass due and the car won't start Laugh with me when the only sponsor is my broken heart we're hanging on this janky stream Two weird voices in the glow of a screen if the world won't sing then let it laugh with me.

[Jo]

Welcome back. It's a brand new episode. This is Laugh With Me, the podcast with Jeremy Odman. I'm your host.

[Jeremy Odman]

Jeremy stares at the stats, hands shaking over takeout boxes. Johnny's already mapping hotels on a napkin with crazy crosses. They quit jobs. They kind of hate it. Tell their bosses, catch the show. Boss just shrugs, hope it's funny. Johnny grins.

[Jo]

You'll never know. Hey, it's Jo. And it is June. It is summertime, and in America, we are celebrating 250 years. Now to our global audience, you're thinking, okay, not, not that impressive here in America. Big deal. Big freaking deal. Not a lot of things make it to 250, whether that be in years or in. In days sometimes. I mean, think about. Even here in podcasting, we're. We're at episode 147 of Laugh with Me, which in podcasts like lives that this is. This is actually. This is actually a long time. This might even be the equivalent of an American 250 because that is a long freaking time. We're proud to be here, just like America is at 250. And there's big, big things planned for the 250th birthday of the United States of America. Well, at least there was. There was a major concert that was. That was scheduled to happen. It appears maybe that's not the case anymore. A lineup of superstars have completely dropped out. We're gonna go. Johnny, can you give me the list of those artists that were a part of America 250 concert? I know Milli Vanilli was, was one of the artists that, that had backed out. See who else. It was Flo Rida. Let's see Flo Rida. Thank you, Johnny C. CNC Music Factory. That would have been a good one. Young mc. That would have been good. So. And this, this is all was going to happen June 25th through July 10th at the National Mall in D.C. okay, so we were gonna have Milli Vanilli, CNC Music Factory, Young MC, Martina McBride. Now that so far, the biggest name Vanilla Ice. I don't care what the event is. So this Freedom250, this is the Great American State Fair. This would have been a big deal. In fact, people have been hating on this lineup and I'm not even through them all yet. The Commodores, Brett Michaels. Brett Michaels was going to be there. Flow right up Morris Day in the time, which honestly, that would have been awesome. Like, that's who you want at an event like this. But it's a Great American State Fair. And people were like, oh, you couldn't get better artists, right? You know, blah, blah, blah. You couldn't even get Kid Rock. First of all, enough with the Kid Rock. I, as a guy who grew up liking some of Kid Rock's music, I think we're done with the Kid Rock stuff. I think he has expired himself out. But this lineup, when you think about it, when you think about state fairs in general, isn't this kind of what you think of. This is what you want, right? This isn't, you know, bts, is it? Bts, the, the K Pop. That's. Johnny, that's. That's not who you're gonna get at an event like this. You're not getting Harry Styles, okay? You're getting with State fair performers that are probably going to be performing on like the free stages. I mean, that's what you're getting. This is a free show celebrating America's best. Well, shoot, Florida. It's his name spelled Florida. That's one of the states. A lot of people don't know that this is it. So it turns into what was supposed to be a celebration of America's 250. It's turned into you know, a political thing. And every artist drops out, right? So they're all out, concert's over. Then the President's like, well, we're just going to do a big old rally, which is always the backup plan. Which honestly, maybe that's even what he wanted in the first place. Who knows? But the huge mistake though, not being able to lock down, you know, more Stay in the time. Flow Rider, Vanilla Ice. Like, this would have been pretty freaking cool to see these. This is like the White Guy Warp tour. Is that, is that even Johnny? That's not even a good joke. No, not, that's not even, not even deserving of that. Well, I got a better idea. Honestly. I was thinking about things that are like current, you know, current in America. That maybe something that would have gotten the people going for 250. Something that would have been news worthy, entertaining and launched us into the next 250. Okay? So forget having this county fair lineup. Like that's, that's not going to do it. That would have been fun. Like this is a show that, you know, every, every 4th of July ish. Around that time there's this free concert that happens in Omaha, Nebraska, where I'm at. And it's, you know, these essentially two big headliners. And then, you know, some local acts. These, any one of these artists would have been cool for that, guaranteed. Would have been big, big crowds, would have been fun to see. But forget that. This is big. This is America 250. This is something that we need to go all Alphor. Okay? So forget forget the axe, forget the fireworks, forget the parades, forget the military flyovers. We don't need any of that. We need a real headliner. Something we have never seen before and honestly may never see again. Bring out the aliens. That's right. The headliner now has to be a real alien at America 250. Okay? I don't want costumes. I don't want CGI or holograms. I don't want some guy from Portland with crystals around his neck, okay? I want an actual alien. I want him unveiled at the National Mall. And we're gonna call him Zorb. That's his name. Zorb. Reportedly the real alien that we will see for the first time at the National Mall. His name is Zorb. And honestly, that sounds exactly like an alien's name. Like that's, that's what that's like Todd, for aliens. Right? Zorb. That's definitely a guy who's traveled like 6,000 light years to see what, what all the fuss is about in America. Now the problem is going to be finding celebrity guests because you gotta, you gotta have celebrity guests when you're unveiling an alien. And who's gonna interview the real alien? So we took down a list of people who would be celebrity esque that could be alongside zorb for the America 250 unveiling. Now, obviously, first up, you're probably gonna have to consider one of the people who's been right about the aliens from the get. This is a guy who's been talking about aliens for, for decades now. This is a guy who has invested his own money into creating more opportunity to find out more about extraterrestrials. And that would be Tom DeLong from Blink 182. All along, Tom has been a guy who has not only believed, but he has also put his money where his mouth is, put money into research, into development of different ways to find people who have seen or at least believe. And I, I, he's a guy, he, he's a guy connected. He said he was talking about it maybe, I don't know if he was talking about in concerts or podcasts or wherever he was. He, you know, he's talking about this. The next thing he knows, he's getting an email and it's like, you need to meet us at this day, at this time, this place near the Pentagon. So he just goes, he doesn't know who it is. He just goes, he follows the leads and the next thing you know, years and years later, he's got pictures of real aliens on his phone that he's showing people at weddings. Like, this is, that's the life he lives. Is that more important and more, I guess, interesting about him or the fact that, you know, he's back in blank? I'll not let you decide that. I'm a fan of both. But Tom DeLonge obviously would be somebody you would want to have around for America 250, especially if we're talking about aliens. I mean, he spent well over 20 years talking about this, saying that, that they're real and they're out there. And can you imagine what he's gonna be like when he gets on stage? I mean, he's a showman. When he gets on stage and there's a real life Zorb on stage waving to the people, he's, he's, he's gonna care less about the alien and more about yelling at the crowd like, who's crazy now? He's gonna wear his. Tom was right. T shirt and it's in a Padres hat. Like, that's. That's gonna be Tom DeLonge. But, yeah, it's gonna be a huge victory lap for Tom DeLonge just to be there standing and talking to an alien. But I just. I got a feeling it's possible he's just gonna spend most of it talking to the crowd, telling him that he was right, which might be entertaining all on its own. Who knows? All right, another celebrity. Somebody who we think could potentially be maybe a good fit for this, and that's Giorgio. And I know I said that wrong, Okay? I don't really need your crap, Johnny, because, yes, I know how to read, but sometimes the words are a lot. Sometimes the letters are jumbled together in ways that no one knows. And did I take the time to figure out how to pronounce it correctly? Absolutely. Not more on my mind lately than that, but here you are. So, Giorgio, you know him? He's the ancient aliens hair guy. The human exclamation points, what I like to call it. The second Zorb appears, Giorgio's hair grows, like, another six inches. Like, he's like, as soon as it's confirmed, like, his hair is just going to skyrocket. His hairstyle is powered directly by extraterrestrial activity. So it's going to be immediately get growth by this. But they're going to ask him, did aliens build the pyramids? He's gonna ask Zorb. And he'll answer, I, I don't know. Then pause dramatically. But, yes, the crowd's just gonna go nuts, and he's just gonna be there to absorb it all. Yeah, get it, Johnny. Get that one. Thank you. Thank you. But he's probably not. He. He might be, like, more of, like, a lamer, like a more boring fit. Although he would be a good fit. He's obviously qualified. He's no Tom DeLonge. But this next one, this next one is a showman as well, and somebody who may be able to use this to parlay into being back into the public spotlight. So this might be somebody who maybe needs the moment and will do the little extras needed to make sure that this is a never forget moment in America. And that would be actor rapper Will Smith. Because if we're having aliens, you gotta have the guy from Independence Day, right? Like, Will's gonna walk on stage, he's gonna look at Zorb, he's gonna look back at the audience, and he's just gonna be like, I told y', all, every fourth, you know, like, It's. It's all. It's gonna be a bit to him. Like, it's just big performance arc to him.

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[Jonas Brothers (Joe, Kevin, Nick)]

Hey, it's us, the Jonas Brothers. And guess what? We have some big news. What's the news?

[Jo]

Huge news.

[Jonas Brothers (Joe, Kevin, Nick)]

We created our own podcast called hey Jonas.

[Jo]

We invented a podcast.

[Jonas Brothers (Joe, Kevin, Nick)]

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[Jo]

We.

[Jonas Brothers (Joe, Kevin, Nick)]

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[Jo]

So how did we.

[Jonas Brothers (Joe, Kevin, Nick)]

How did we actually come up with the name hey Jonas? Guys, I honestly don't remember. I think it was on a call about what we should call it, and,

[Jo]

well, we were thinking.

[Jonas Brothers (Joe, Kevin, Nick)]

I'm originally calling it one of the early names of our band before Jonas Brothers was. This is how you guys remember it going down? Yes. I have a very different memory of this. We were talking about a thing a bit for the podcast where people could call in and say, hey, Jonas. And then I wrote down on my little notepad, hey, Jonas, and offered it up as a potential title for the podcast. But thanks for remembering that. Guys, listen to hey Jonas on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Just listen. We don't care where you hear it.

[Brandon Kyle Goodman]

Happy Pride from the Outspoken Podcast Network. All month long and all year round, we're celebrating being loud, proud, and always orig. It's me, Brandon Kyle Goodman, host of the podcast tell Me Something Messy. Check out my show for unfiltered takes on dating, relationships, and adulting. The more you get comfortable with someone,

[Jo]

the more their real self comes out. They're gonna be gross.

[Brandon Kyle Goodman]

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[Jo]

Shut it down.

[Brandon Kyle Goodman]

Listen to High Key for the best pop culture takes. And there are no girls on the Internet for all your tech news for your favorite celebrity, Kiki's, check out outlaws with T.S. madison. Wait, so Luke was the Darna Bader? Yeah, and Bader was turned by RuPaul. Yeah, well, somebody turned him some old, old, old witch. Learn to love yourself unapologetically with BFF Black Fat Femme. And start your day with intention with Waking up with Ryan. Coming in July. Celebrate Pride with the Outspoken Network on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Open your free iHeartRadio app. Search Pride and listen, now, here's something

[Akilah Hughes]

that should not be as complicated as it is getting a racist statue removed. And here's something that should be a whole lot easier than it getting a new one put up in its place.

[Jo]

As long as there's a politics of race in America, there's going to be a politics of remembering the Civil War.

[Brandon Kyle Goodman]

To get to school, I had to go down Robert E. Lee Boulevard, get to the grocery store. I had to go down Jefferson Davis Parkway.

[Akilah Hughes]

If you're a historian and you leave out half of what the history is, you're not doing your job. I'm Akilah Hughes, and Rebel Spirit Season 2 goes deep on both of those things. The fights, the politics, the people who won, and my personal campaign to add something to the Kentucky Statehouse that's actually worth the wall.

[Jonas Brothers (Joe, Kevin, Nick)]

Space.

[Akilah Hughes]

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[Jo]

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[Akilah Hughes]

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[Jo]

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[Akilah Hughes]

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[Jo]

But then they'll announce the first attraction, Will Smith. We've got Zorb, the first attraction at the America250 alien event, and it's gonna be the tour of an actual spaceship. Now, this sounds amazing until you remember who's attending, and that's us Americans. The first spaceship tour is going to last four minutes before somebody's going to ask, can I put a trailer hitch on this thing? And, you know, that's the kind of crowd that'll be at 250. Like, you just know. And then another one immediately looking for the cup holders. Someone's trying to finance it. Within an hour, there's lifted spaceships in Nebraska. You know, there would be. And that's exactly how we would do it. But then this is the fun part. Okay, so we've got Will Smith now he's interviewing Zorb. That's going to be awesome. We've got spaceship tours, real spaceship tours. And then we're gonna have an amusement park. Forget Ferris wheels. Let's have Area 51 land Johnny. Like, Area 51. Then, like, is it too late to actually get this going? Like, it's June. It's early June, first week of June, right now, June 25th is when we're doing this on the National Mall. I mean, if it's. If it's not too late to completely flip the lineup from Milli Vanilli to Zorb and Will Smith, then It's, it's not too late to get an area 51 lane going. It'll be the happiest conspiracy on earth. Featured attractions could include the abduction drop tower. You get strapped into a chair, lights go out. You wake up 30 seconds later, well, in the gift shop. And that's, that's really, that's all that matters. That's where you can buy your Trump Gold Fung. They will have them in the gift shop. Then there's crop circle coasters. Okay. A roller coaster that goes nowhere but leaves confusing patterns in a cornfield. So it's just kind of gonna zip around. So these, these rides, they're fairly easy to. To put together and, and will just fit. It'll fit the vibe. But my favorite one is going to be the congressional hearing. It's a simulated ride where government officials almost answer questions for 90 straight minutes. Parents are calling it educational, kids are calling it bored. Congress is calling it a documentary. That's going to be real. Now, because America cannot leave well enough alone. There's going to also be sports. And ladies and gentlemen, I introduce to you the first ever real life space jam. We're gonna have to try to get Michael, right? You gotta try to get Michael. But let's, let's do something a little different. We're gonna have Michael Jordan come out just as, like a ceremonial piece. Okay? He's actually gonna play. We're not gonna do basketball against cartoon characters. No, this is gonna be basketball against aliens. Team Earth against has already announced its lineup. We're going to have LeBron, obviously, Steph Curry, obviously. We're going to need a random guy from YMCA in Kansas, obviously, and Charles Barkley, because somehow Charles gets invited to everything. Have you noticed Charles is just a guy you can plug and play into any sport. In any event, nobody questions it. Like, he's entertaining as hell. And I think he'd be perfect for this too. Give him a microphone. Let's just let. Let's just let Charles Barkley talk for a bit. Let's make his three on three and just let Charles sub and if needed, because I'm sure the YMCA guy from Kansas, you know, the, the playground guy from Kansas ain't gonna be able to last. So Charles will have to sub in at some point, but just give him a microphone on the bench and just let him go. But the aliens, though, here's the thing. They're. They're going to be nine feet tall, they can teleport, and they can read minds. Oh, and they shoot 100 from three point range. So it's going to be very, very interesting. But even with earth as a 700 point underdog, Barkley still likes our chances. So I think we're gonna be okay. I like the idea of a real life Space Jam, and I certainly think we could put that on the White House lawn, or we'll put the court next to the UFC cage. Because you can't just have. I mean, because at some point people are gonna be like, well, you know, I thought they used to have like a T ball game on the White House lawn. Or we used to have Easter egg hunts and we used to throw the Frisbee around with the dog and do some fun things. Now we just have a UFC cage. It's gonna get used once. You're right. So we also need a basketball court for the bait for our Space Jam. Why not? Why not? Whatever Zorb wants, right? I like the idea of the real life Space Jam, though. What about an alien petting zoo? This is not something I think is. I mean, it's. It's an idea. Okay. And for the record, this was Johnny's idea. I don't want to be on the record for putting out there an alien petting zoo. I'm against it. I think it's dangerous. Because if they're the ones petting us, it's not gonna be what you think it is. Like, you walk in expecting to see aliens, and so there's a sign that's like, please remain calm while being observed. And it's just gonna be an alien kid watching me drink my soda. Like, that's. It's gonna get weird. A little kid, little alien case. Like, look, dad, this one tells jokes. Yeah, I don't like that one at all. And I don't trust it because you just never know where that's gonna end. But at the end of it, at the end of the night, that's when Zorb finally comes out. We've got all these different events. We got the petting zoo, we've got the amusement park, the Area 51 Music Park. We've got all this stuff going on here. And of course, at the very end, the main event, we've got Will Smith interviewing Zorb, the real life, first ever alien. 100,000 people would gather for this, right? Don't you think? Don't you think we get a hundred thousand people there to see a real life alien? News cameras everywhere, military escorts. Trump can give a presidential speech if he wants. We'll have big dramatic music, curtain drops. Zorb will be Standing there, he'll look out and in his alien voice will say, so this is Earth. Of course, he's heard of Earth for centuries. He's expected flying cities, expected advanced civilization, expected universal health care even. And somebody's going to hand him a gas station hot dog and he's going to be devastated. Poor guy traveled across the universe and landed in a Buc Ees, which would be fun for us. But Zorb, definitely expecting much more. So then Will Smith starts asking Zorb, what do you have for us? What do you want to know about America? Why are there 17 streaming services? Well, obviously nobody knows that, so we can't. We're not gonna be able to answer that. Zorb, why do you answer work emails while on vacation? Again, Zorb, there's not really answers for that. It's just how we live. Zorb will say, why is your printer always broken again? That's just. It's very delicate. And you've seen it when it prints the pages, it's just shaking. Left and right. Pieces get loose. At this point, humanity is going to get embarrassed. I mean, we're going to think this alien thinks we're disorganized. He's just going to start reviewing America like Gordon Ramsay. The national parks are incredible. Well, thank you. The music is fantastic. Well, thank you, Zorb. The Internet comments are horrifying. All right, that's fair. The people seem nice. Yeah, thank you. The political system appears designed by raccoons. Yeah, that's fair, Zorb. And in fact, if you have any advice, we could use some. Eventually, though, Zorb will get comfortable in America and he'll want to become an American citizen. And huge applause. People will get emotional. They'll be crying on the White House front lawn all the way to the National Mall. Huge applause. But then he reveals the reason. Everything has his has Earth has something that his planet doesn't. It has everything. It has, well, buffalo wings. That's it. That's the entire reason Zorb has never had chicken wings. He would love to have some of that chicken that we have here on Earth. So that's it. That's apparently some chicken wings, some ranch dressing. That is what he has known of us. And he must be a big Midwest guy if he's thinking chicken wings and ranch. Yeah, anyway, that sort, man. But it's going to be one of the greatest events in American history. I mean, at the end, there's going to be the largest fireworks display in. In human history. Except it's it's what we think is fireworks. It's actually fireworks. Alien technology. There's gonna be massive lights filling the sky. The crowd's gonna get stunned. People are going to be crying. People are going to be cheering. They're not going to know what's going to happen. And then, you know, then it's going to be time to leave and there's going to be lots of complaints about the parking and it takes forever to get out of here. And of course, anybody who took a bus or a shuttle to the event is going to be just going crazy with how long it's going to take to get out of there. Hours, probably. Hours, Johnny, it would take to get out of something like that. Well, that's if, you know, people actually go to this event. That's why this is exactly why I think it's. It needs to be less, you know, state fair and it needs to be more Independence Day turned into like a comic Con. That's. That's what this needs to be. People turn out for comic cons, actually. They don't just turn out for freaking things sell out everywhere. They're all over the country. I mean, it used to be, you know, used to have just the big comic cons on the coast and now every, every damn city's got their own Comic con and with their own C rate celebrity and they show up. So there you go. I that's the future of this. That's the future of America. 250 it's actually, it's a damn shame that we didn't think of this. Instead we got Milli Vanilli and I and I'm not even hating so much on that. It was Milli Vanilli because I think this, this group of stars would have been fun at a state fair. But we want aliens, damn it. And we need aliens before 2027. I mean, if you, as you know, if you listen to wtl, where's the line? It's the other podcast I'm on. You got to check it out. Just in this last episode we talked about the sailing. Then on Kalshi in the predictive markets, there is actually a live trade right now on whether or not a real life alien is going to get pulled into existence, whether it's going to be deemed that it is real by 2027. There's a lot of money online here. A lot of money. This is. You can. You can tell where I'm standing on the issue. Bring out zor America thing sort of

[Unnamed Commentator]

feels like when your Grandma is turning 85, and everyone feels like they need to throw a big party. Cause. Cause there's probably not gonna be, like, another big milestone birthday to celebrate, so you gotta make a big deal of this one. Anyways, I was just thinking that.

[Jeremy Odman]

Hit that intro. Go. Laugh with me when the rent's past due and the car won't start Laugh with me when the only sponsor is my broken heart we're hanging on this janky stream Two weird voices in the glow of a screen as the world won't Then let it laugh with me.