Bowen Yang (1:38)

Bottom line, Xfinity is smart and reliable. You deserve the peace of mind of having WI fi that's got your back.

Matt Rogers (1:43)

Xfinity.

Greenlight Advertiser (1:44)

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Jeremy Odom (2:34)

Welcome back. It's a brand new episode. This is Laugh With Me, a podcast with Jeremy Odom, and I'm your host. Hey, it's Jo. And this is a very special laugh with me. And I know I say that. I say that often. This is very special because to me, well, damn it, they're all special. I mean, shouldn't I feel that way? Hopefully you do, too. This is. It's kind of. It's continuing the story of, you know, something that's been ongoing, especially on the socials. It's this. It's this beef. I got this beef out there with this local Omaha open micr named Ben Webb, and today he takes his final resting place in our world. And we're going to get to that. But before we get there, I got to tell you a story. And there's kind of where this all started as far as this episode. Because this episode today, Johnny, we are giving you the very first ever. And of course it's going to be ever. It's going to be fluid, right? This. We may, who knows, maybe in a week, maybe in a month, maybe in three years, we will come back and we will update this. But right now, we know for a fact we have our very first inaugural Laugh With Me banned list. That's right, Johnny. There's some people getting banned from Laugh With Me now. You might be asking, okay, they're getting banned. Big deal. What does that mean? They just can't be on the pod. Like, what's, what's the story there? Well, if you are, in fact on the banned list. Yes. You're not allowed to become beyond the pod as a guest. That's a given, right? If you're on the ban list, why would we ever have you on as a guest? Johnny, please take note of this list, okay? I don't, I don't want to get a rundown one day and see, see some people that are on the band list as guests. I mean, that's, that's not how this works. Can you get off the band list? Sure you can. Sure you can. Everybody deserves a second chance, right? Sometimes a third, fourth, fifth, even six chances. Robert Downey Jr. So there is a chance that you can get back in the good graces of Johnny and I and in the world. That is the Laugh With Me podcast. But it's not an easy road ahead for you. I'm just gonna tell you that right now because it's not just that you're getting banned from being a guest on the pod. You're Also being fully committed as a character on the. On the show now, okay? So that means whomever is banned might be evolving in our world just a bit. And let's just say you've earned it, okay? If that's the case, then you have earned it. Now, we've got one guy in particular that is going to be inducted into the Laugh with Me podcast band list today, and we're going to get to him. But before we get to that, I got to tell you the story, because there's this other guy who has made the list, so to speak, and I didn't see it coming. It started a few weeks back. I got new phones, okay? Got the. You know, you're at Verizon, you get. You can upgrade your phones. Got the kids new phones first, okay? They wanted new phones, blah, blah, blah. Got them new phones. So then I had their old phones. And it. You know, you've got the options. You can have that mailed back. You can drop them off at a, like, brick and mortar Verizon store, which there's many. There is a. Many Verizon stores in Omaha and surrounding areas. So I had many options there. And then I'm like, well, you know, I've got the two. I've got two phones for the kids. And then, you know, I got the other two phones. I'm gonna get my. Upgrade those. Well, that. That eventually came weeks later. Someone out of necessity. It was time to get a functioning phone that wasn't going to be completely full of space. And, I mean, I needed space, basically. It wasn't completely full. The memory. So now we have four new phones, and now that means we have four old phones. Now. What I did was two of them were set up to be shipped back, okay? Two of them were set up to just be dropped off at the local Verizon store. No big deal. I don't care. What my. My mistake here. It wasn't in having two different things as far as how to return them. My mistake was that I just didn't return them on time. Johnny, that one's on me. Hand up. And I. I will tell you, when I saw the Verizon guy in person, I said, this was my fault. I should have returned these on time, But I didn't. So. Because I didn't, they took off all the credits of all the returns and all that stuff, right? So then suddenly my bill is astronomical. And then. And it's not like the cell phone bills aren't already astronomical, right? They're always creeping. They're always creeping Up. But this one was ridiculous. So obviously I'm not paying that, right? Well, then they. They shut it off. My phone, that is. So then I'm like, well, shoot, now I gotta pay it, Knowing when I return these phones, I'm going to get a credit. Blah, blah, blah, blah. I'm basically just like paying double, right? You know, one month, and then I'm going to get that back the next month. I. Oh, I know. I'm like paying ahead, essentially. So that part didn't bother me. It was just that now there's a sense of urgency. I've got to do it. So I do. I go. I grab all four phones, I grab a box, and I'm like, here's the deal. It's not like I can call Verizon because my phone's not working now. So now I go to the Verizon store that I had the two phones set up to be dropped off at. I'm like, worst case, I'm getting these two phones dropped off. Maybe they'll take all four. I doubt it, but maybe they will. I'll have them. But for sure, I'm going to drop off these two. Be good to go there, pay what I need to pay, get this bad boy rolling. So you go right in store, and then, like, it's just, you know, like, anywhere. You're gonna have to wait. You know, when you're dealing, when you want to deal one on one with somebody, and that's okay. I expect that. So I've got my box. I've got my four phones. I'm sitting there just patiently waiting. And I'm not. I'm not looking to buy anything. Sound like I'm looking at all the goods. I'm just sitting there. I'm being patient. There's four people working. One of them opens up. He's a, you know, let me help you. I'm like, yeah, perfect. So I come up with my box, and I'm explaining to him how I've got these four phones, but two of them I'm to drop off. I'm late on it. My bad. That's on me. But here's my situation. He immediately shuts it down. He goes, absolutely not. Absolutely not. You can't do this. I'm like, what are you talking about? Like, all I'm. I'm just trying to, like, return the phones like I was supposed to. Johnny. He looked at me like I was the biggest idiot in the world. He's like, did you get your new phones here? I'm like, well, I Got my new phones at Verizon. I, I did it on the website that it is absolutely impossible that you can drop off these phones here at the store unless you received those new phones from this location. I go, I don't know where the new phones came from. All I know is that's how I ordered it. And it specifically asked me if I want to drop them off at the store. It had your location and everything. It was absolutely not. You have been bamboozled. And I'm like, bamboozled? How does a guy get bamboozled by their own company? They. It was their own website. And he's saying, I got bamboozled just because it told me I could drop off two of the phones at the store. He's like, nope, you got a call, blah, blah, blah, blah. And I go, I, well, here, here's the thing. I can't call them. So here's. I need to. I need to pay some money so that I can do that. I was like, so. But I need to check in these phones so that I can go about my business knowing that my future building is going to be back to what it was. And he's just like, well, absolutely not. Can't. Can't help you. Nothing. Can't help you at all. And I'm like, you're. I was like, so you're telling me that there is not a human person in this world in town right now that can help me with my situation? You have all these stores and nobody can help me is what you're telling me? He goes, absolutely not. Unless you got them right here in the store. And I'm like, I. I think you're wrong, sir. And I kind of chuckled. And he's like, I am not wrong. You have to call. Blah. And I go, I cannot. And you know this because I explained to you the situation, and I promise you I'm going to figure out a way to call this number like you said, and I'm going to be back. And he did not like that. He did not want me back. That's when I told him, you know, and that's the thing. Remember, this all started my fault. Hand up. I didn't turn the phones in appropriately at the right time to the right place. Apparently. I didn't do those things. What, What I was expecting, I guess, from the company in which I'm paying the money to. That's. That's helping me here is just some guidance in, you know, how to. How to accomplish what I need to accomplish here and quickly because I, I Want to pay the bill, which, knowing it's going to be a lot, I just. I need to pay it, and then I know I'll have credits coming, and then I need to return the phones. That's. That's essentially it. And there was never a. Oh, yeah, well, we can't do this, but here's what we can do, which. That's customer service. That's customer service, Johnny. Well, you can't do this, but here's what we can do. Here's how we're gonna help you today. Instead, I'm. I'm walking out of there yelling,

Bowen Yang (14:35)

which

Jeremy Odom (14:36)

this is how, you know my iron's low because. And I did. I did just get some blood and yesterday, and I'm going to be getting more next week. And this is how, you know it's getting low. My. My body temperature is running really, really warm. I'm super tired, and I'm on edge. And this guy. I'm passionate about customer service. Have been. It's. It's in my bones serving people. And this guy refused to even consider the thought that he could help us.

Ryan Seacrest (15:08)

I.

Jeremy Odom (15:08)

You know what? I should have known because the. The couple, the older couple that was being helped by him and I. And I'm being. When I say helped, I. I should have air quotes up. They were being helped by him before me. And he was very adamant that he absolutely will not, cannot print a statement for them. They. They wanted like a. Like a billing statement or something. He's. You have to do that on your own. I will not. I cannot do that. We cannot print that here. I don't know what that's all about. I don't know that. Maybe there's a deeper story there, but the story within this one with me is that he refused to help me. And I had his goods. I had his phones, and I said, I'm going to call this number. I'm going to figure out a way. I'm going to call this number, and they are going to tell me that I come back here, and I'm going to come back and I'm going to be a problem. And I told him that wasn't a promise, that was a threat. Well, then you say the word threat, whether it's dumb or not, and I. What am I gonna do? What's my threat? My threat was that I'm coming back and I'm gonna be a problem, which just means, yeah, I'm gonna let you know how wrong you were because you're being a little bitch. That was my threat. Well, A threat to him. I could mean anything, right? So anyways, I didn't go out in cuffs or anything, but I did leave with my box with my four phones. There was a scooters coffee shop nearby. I used the WI fi to be able to call this number. Well, the number wouldn't work because like I told you, freaking phone, like, it's shut off right now. But I was able to pay the obnoxiously large bill. And then it took, what, 15 minutes or so or whatever before I could finally speak to somebody. And you know what? When I spoke to this lady and she was super nice, when I spoke to this lady at Verizon, she could not believe that that guy would not take the two phones that were supposed to have been dropped off there. Her mind was blown. And I'm like, ma', am, you do not understand. He said that you guys bamboozled me and that's just completely obnoxious to her that that would even be a thing. So in the end, she got me taken care of. All four phones were then mailed. I got it all. It's all done. It's all taken care of and everything's right in the world as far as that goes. But one thing that we do need to do just to kind of get closure on this is we, we cut. We have. We have to declare war on this Verizon location. And we are putting the Verizon guy that I dealt with, he's on the list. Foreign, you're on the ban list. Verizon guy.

Ryan Seacrest (18:38)

Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and Safeway. It's stock up savings time now through March 31st. Spring in for store wide deals and earn four times the points. Look for in store tags to earn on eligible items from Oreo, Haagen, Dazs, Charmin, Tide, Sparkling Ice, Reese's and Special K. Then clip the offer in the app for automatic event long savings. Stack up those rewards to save even more. Enjoy savings on top of savings. When you shop in store or online for easy drive up and go pick up or delivery. Delivery restrictions apply. See website for terms and conditions.

Matt Rogers (19:07)

This is Matt Rogers from Las Culturistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang.

Bowen Yang (19:10)

This is Bowen Yang from Los Culturistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang. What if your WI fi was more than just WI fi? What if your WI fi made everything in your whole house just work together better?

Matt Rogers (19:21)

Well, Xfinity WI Fi pretty much does exactly that. It's powered by their best, most elite high performing tech.

Bowen Yang (19:27)

Allow us to paint a very realistic example, everyone in your house, everyone is on their devices at the exact same time. Gaming, working, swiping, Right? Because of course they are. And the finale of your favorite show of all time of the week is on at the exact same moment. Well, you can boost the WI fi to your device with Xfinity.

Matt Rogers (19:47)

And have you ever asked yourself, what if my wifi could keep watch over my kids for me? Well, probably not, because that's a weird thing to ask yourself. But Xfinity WI fi has parenting skills and even if you sometimes forget yours, Xfinity's like, don't worry, I'll monitor the WI fi.

Bowen Yang (20:02)

It's completely proactive, fixing issues before they even happen. Bottom line, Xfinity is smart and reliable. You deserve the peace of mind of having WI fi that's got your back.

Matt Rogers (20:12)

Xfinity. Imagine that.

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Jeremy Odom (21:58)

I highly Doubt that guy's ever getting off this list. Because, you know, frankly, I probably won't ever run into him again. But if I do, I'm gonna have to let him know he's on this list. I also reserve the right to create a character in your name. Those are the rules. That's the band list rules. Okay. But he's the very first inductee onto the Laugh With Me band list. Well deserved. I think, like I told you, very passionate about customer service, always have been. And the fact that he just wouldn't even, like, wouldn't even consider that there was something that he could do, maybe take my payment, then I could call, then I could sort out, like, there were options here. He didn't even put in my name or number or anything to see if what I was saying was true or not. He could have looked it up and be like, oh, yeah, you've. Boy 1. You should have returned the phones, too. You should have paid the bill. Yeah, I am aware, sir. And here I am trying to rectify all this. Like, there could have been a fun back and forth there, and we could have made it, okay? And then now here we are, Verizon guys on the band list. So that's. That's. That's where we're at. But he's not the only one making the band list here today. No, no, no. We've got a wide ranging list of characters that are now joining the Laugh With Me universe where we will poke fun. We will mostly poke fun, I think. Yeah. There's not really. John, there's not really. Johnny gives me a whole list of things. We're gonna. John, we're just. We're gonna make fun. I mean, that's really. That's where we're at. And Verizon guys at the tippy top of that list right now. Here's another one. Here's people that. Man, I just can't. I just can't deal with the people like, at work that are constantly calling out, they're sick, They've got their kids sick. They're. Something's going on, right? It's always something. And they're starting to get real damn creative too. But it's always something. And then to have the gumption to complain about not getting enough hours. How does that happen? You got hours. You're on the schedule. You're choosing not to show up. That's the agreement, right? You have been employed by whomever it is. You're employed. There's a schedule that's written. Those are yours. You work those. Shoot, we'll pay an hourly rate. Tell you what, will even deposit it directly into your bank account every two weeks. That's the agreement. Man, these people be complaining, oh, I don't got any hours. What do you mean you're not getting any hours? I schedule you plenty of hours. Just show, don't show up. Then you. Then, then there's the other side where it's like, all right, well, now I gotta run my business and I got somebody who's constantly calling out or leaving work early or whatever it is. So I'm gonna now have to manipulate the schedule in a way that I have people that are gonna be there. So if you leave work, if I have tracked that, you're gonna leave work every Friday at one o' clock when you're scheduled till five. Guess what? I'm now gonna schedule you till one and I'm gonna schedule somebody else to come in and want to take care of business so I can take care of business. And then you're like, where are my hours? Yeah, they're up your butt. That's where they're at. So to those people, those people that are constantly calling out and then complaining about not getting hours, you're on the laughably banned list and well deserved for that one. The next, the next inductee in this list, and this is, this is something that's gone back probably a couple years now. He's like the best baseball player in the world. Shoi Ohtani, I got big beef with you, brother. I don't know how you got out of that gambling scandal so quickly. It still bothers me. Maybe it's because he's a Dodger and I'm a Padres fan and I gotta watch his ass beat us up all freaking season. But either way, I don't know how he so quickly and so neatly had that ginormous gambling, sports betting, gambling scandal go away so quickly. I like to think it's not over, but it just certainly does appear to be over. And he isn't. His interpreter is going to be the fall guy is the fall guy. I mean, either way, it's, it's, it's sad. It's sad that, you know, there's, there's athletes or celebrities or whatever that have some have issues come up that just get dragged out over and over and over and sh. Tani is just protected, protected by the MLB and all their sponsors. So with that being said, sh. Otani, you are now officially on the Laugh With Me band list. Yeah, don't even, don't even try. Otani's agent, publicist, whoever, do not even try to get on this show because you are out, sir. You are out. Finally, we have one more entrant to go. This is the initial Laugh with me ban list. And this is, this is our boy, Mr. Joy. On purpose. You've. You've heard the last few episodes. I mean, not, not the last episode because last episode we really wanted to. We wanted to keep it clean with Grant and just talk movies. Because that actually is one of our most listened to episodes of the entire year is the Academy Awards preview, when we just had our third one with Grant Pearson. And he's our movie guy, he is the expert, he watches all of the movies and some. So we really wanted to keep that one clean and just focus on the movies. But the two episodes before that, we talking about your boy. We talking about your boy. And here's the thing, we've put out some social activity. Man. Ben, I don't know. I. I know, I know the people that have been coming to me and telling me what they think, not just about the show, but about you. And I know that those episodes have been very much listen to actually gained quite a bit of new audience. And I also know you're just silent. Well, you know, except for the things you write in your, your monologue posts about, you know, I don't know, practice acting and whatever. Whatever it is you're doing. And maybe instead of taking selfies at the middle of rehearsal, you should be like focusing. But that's, that's just my opinion, sir. That is just my opinion. And we're all allowed to have it, right? Right? Benny, here's the thing. He's been silent because he knows he was wrong. And he even put in his. His novels of a Facebook post. He even puts in there with all his faults. But you're not man enough to admit that this one you done fucked up. No, sir. You just want to complain to others, that's okay. That's on you, dude. But because of that, we are in fact going to be inducting you into the Laugh with me band list. Mr. Joy of Purpose is a character now that will live within the Laugh With Me universe forever. Never. And that, Johnny, that one, that one's gonna be fun. But before, before we begin that. Before we move on into the next chapter of what Mr. Joy and Purpose is, which by the way, I own now, I bet should trademark that. You should have trademarked that. Oh yeah, we're gonna have a lot of fun with that one before we get there, I just. One more time for Ben. We're gonna have a little fun. It's the Pepper Spray Singers featuring DJ Odie. It is the diss track of all diss tracks. Mr. Joy on purpose yeah they call

DJ Odie (31:29)

you Mr. Joy on purpose more life Mr. Talk too much on purpose you the self help star of a stop strip mall model. Ain't no voice but your talent too small. Bad jokes, bad takes, big gut, thin skin every clip you post just proves you can't win. Got a script in your hand still you flub every line. You a actor in your head in real life it's a crime divorce on the shelf like your dusty awards cause nobody bought into your cardboard heart. Mr. Joy on purpose, you ain't foolish Mr. Opinionated on purpose just bitter and sus. Fake smile, fake death, fake sermon at the surface you ain't gatekeeping nothing cause the gate don't serve you. Mr. Joy on purpose, we see straight through the circus. You sit high on a fold out throne, preach it everybody like you wrote they sold. Call them lazy, call them lost, call them weak and broke. But you crumble when your own name's part of the joke. You a gatekeeper bro you guard in the shed. All that condescension just lives in your head. Talk kindness, talk grace, play sane on the feed but off. Can you treat your friends like they beneath your feet? Mr. Joy on purpose, you ain't fooling us Mr. Opinionated on purpose just bitter and sus. Fake smile, fake death, fake sermon at the surface you ain't gate keeping nothing cause the gate don't serve you. Mr. Joy on purpose, we see straight through the circus. You love giving notes, can't take one back. You love saying grow but you stuck off track. Bad act, a bad time in bad faith, bad laughs whole life is a rant and a half that's facts Mr. Joy on purpose, you ain't fooling us Mr. Opinionated on purpose just bitter and sus face smile, fake death face sermon at the surface you ain't gate keeping nothing cause the gate don't serve you. Mr. Joy on purpose, we see straight through the circus.

Jeremy Odom (33:38)

Yeah yeah. Foreign.

Ryan Seacrest (33:51)

Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and Safeway. It's stock up savings time now through March 31st. Spring in for store wide deals and earn four times the points. Look for in store tags to earn on eligible items from Lays Jack, Links, Cheez It, Classico, Hidden Valley and Best Foods. Then clip the offer in the app for automatic event long savings. Stack up those rewards to save even more. Enjoy savings on top of savings. When you shop in store or online for easy drive up and go, pickup or delivery restrictions apply. Website for terms and conditions I'm U.S.

Sean Duffy (34:21)

transportation Secretary Sean Duffy. The sound of a Seatbelt it's one of the most important sounds in our car. It means everyone is ready and everyone is safe. The more our kids see us put on our seat belts, the more natural it is for them to put theirs on too. Make it a priority. Buckle up every time. Hear the sound. Make it a habit Paid for by NHTSA

Grainger Advertiser (34:50)

if you work in university maintenance, Grainger considers you an MVP because your playbook ensures your arena is always ready for tip off. And Grainger is your trusted partner, offering the products you need all in one place, from H Vac and plumbing supplies to lighting and more. And all delivered with plenty of time left on the clock so your team always gets the win. Call 1-800-GRAINGER visit grainger.com or just stop by Grainger for the ones who get it done.

Matt Rogers (35:20)

This is Matt Rogers from Las Culturistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang.

Bowen Yang (35:24)

This is Bowen Yang from Las Culturistas with Matt Rodgers and Bowen Yang.

Matt Rogers (35:27)

Hey, so what if you could boost the WI fi to one of your devices when you need it most?

Bowen Yang (35:31)

Because Xfinity WI fi can. And what if your wifi could fix itself before there's even really a problem? Xfinity is so reliable it does that too.

Matt Rogers (35:39)

What if your wifi had par instincts? Xfinity WI fi is part nanny, part ninja, protecting your kids while they're online.

Bowen Yang (35:46)

And finally, what if your WI fi was like, the smartest WI fi?

Matt Rogers (35:51)

Yeah, it's WI fi that is so smart it makes everything work better together.

Bowen Yang (35:55)

Bottom line, Xfinity is smart and reliable. You deserve the peace of mind of having WI fi that's got your back.

Matt Rogers (36:01)

Xfinity. Imagine that.