Friday Happy Hour #21

Summary

Laugh with Me – Friday Happy Hour #21
Host: Jeremy Odom
Release Date: July 17, 2026

---

Episode Overview

On this week’s Friday Happy Hour, comedian and host Jeremy Odom delivers his signature blend of self-deprecating humor and observational storytelling, bringing listeners along for relatable laughs about aging, daily mishaps, and bizarre news headlines. Jeremy kicks things off with an honest (and hilarious) reflection on the perils of growing out of your old 5K running shirts before recounting a memorable, all-too-real grocery store emergency. In classic Laugh with Me fashion, Jeremy closes the episode with a satirical "news report," diving deep into the very real story of Chinese police "cat units" and how the world should brace for the future of feline law enforcement.

---

Key Discussion Points & Segments

1. The Tight Shirt Awakening

[03:15 – 04:20]

• Jeremy reflects on wearing an old 5K "run now" shirt that now fits "uncomfortably tight."
• Realizes his clothes fit tighter these days—a not-so-subtle hint at dwindling exercise and the effect of too many Friday Happy Hour beers.
• Shares self-deprecating thoughts about shifting from size L to XL (and sometimes even 2XL) for comfort.
• "I'm getting to the point where my stomach is sitting out a little further than my chest." — Jeremy Odom [04:10]
• Jokes about friend Johnny, who wears tight shirts "on purpose" since, unlike Jeremy, he actually works out.

2. The Great Walmart Restroom Adventure

[04:20 – 13:53]

• Jeremy tells an all-too-relatable story about a sudden Crohn’s disease flare while grocery shopping at Walmart.
• "When the moment hits you, baby, you gotta go." — Jeremy Odom [05:45]
• With urgency mounting, Jeremy sprints to the restroom, finds blessed solitude and clean facilities, and is relieved…until he starts singing along to an 80s song while occupied, believing he’s alone.
• Realizes, mid-chorus, he was not—spots a neighboring pair of shoes in the next stall.
• Shares the awkward aftermath: "I don't know that I've ever sat down and somebody sits down, and they're just singing while bombs are dropping over Baghdad." — Jeremy Odom [11:31]
• Escapes without further incident but spends the journey home pondering what the other guy in the restroom must have thought.

3. Laugh with Me News Report: Police Cats in China

[18:04 – 25:36]

• Jeremy spotlights the viral story of police departments in China adopting stray cats as "police cats" instead of dogs.
• “I wanted to get this out here before it became an all mice lives matter situation…” — Jeremy Odom [18:39]
• Describes the cats’ new “roles”—wearing little vests, chasing rodents, sniffing contraband, using agility to access tight spaces.
• Lampoons the impractical side of feline officers:
  • “Before you picture a fluffy orange cat in aviary sunglasses kicking in doors, yelling ‘Nobody move! Meow!’ let’s set the expectations…” — Jeremy Odom [19:34]
  • "Police dog: Sit. Stay. Attack. Done. Police cat: ‘Hey, come here.’ ...Nothing. ‘I’ve got tuna.’ ...Nothing. I’m serious... The cat's already asleep inside the evidence locker.” [20:57]
• Imagines the unique risks: bribery by tuna, distractions by laser pointers, feline judgment passed on officers, victims, and criminals alike.
• "The first time one of these cats catches a laser pointer instead of a criminal, the whole department is going to have some questions." — Jeremy Odom [22:49]
• On American adoption: "We’ll have police cats with tiny tactical vests, little body cameras, miniature badges. And every news station will spend 15 minutes talking about how brave Officer Beans is. While Officer Beans is in the background just looking at himself during a press conference." — Jeremy Odom [23:52]
• Wraps with a final jab about the potential (and hilarious) criminal humiliation: getting caught by a police cat.

---

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• "I'm just out here living my life. I'm just telling you. I wore a tight shirt today. And it, it just got me thinking, Johnny. Now Johnny will wear tight shirts on purpose because he runs and he works out a little bit. So he's just, you know, he's just trying to flex on the people, whereas I'm not so much." — Jeremy Odom [04:02]
• "This is never happened to me... I don't know that I've ever sat down or already been sitting and somebody sits down and they're just a singing wow. While bombs are dropping over Baghdad." — Jeremy Odom [11:26]
• "Can you imagine getting arrested by a cat? I didn't even know I was under investigation. No, you've been under surveillance for six months. By who? The tabby that's been sitting outside your apartment pretending to watch birds? Oh, I thought he just hated me. Oh, he does now." — Jeremy Odom [21:06]
• "You think somebody couldn't bribe a cat? One can of premium salmon and suddenly the entire investigation disappears. Officer Whiskers, did you see the suspect? Licks his paw. We'll take that as a no." — Jeremy Odom [22:32]
• "If a criminal gets caught by a cat, you can't even be mad. You have to just sit in jail knowing your criminal empire was dismantled by an animal whose biggest life goal is knocking your glass of water off the nightstand." — Jeremy Odom [24:43]

---

Timestamps for Key Segments

• [03:15] Tight shirt reflection & aging humor
• [04:20] Walmart restroom adventure, Crohn's, and unexpected singing
• [11:26] Embarrassing realization & aftermath
• [18:04] Laugh with Me News Report: China’s Police Cats
• [19:34] Satirical breakdown of 'police cat' program
• [23:52] American take on police cats & Officer Beans bit
• [24:43] Philosophical musings on being arrested by a cat

---

Final Thoughts

This episode delivers classic Jeremy Odom: candid, self-effacing, and quick-witted, tapping into universal experiences of aging, public embarrassment, and the absurdity of viral news. The blend of everyday mishaps and over-the-top fake news reporting makes for a lighthearted listen destined for Friday laughs.

If you want relatable comedy, a dose of weird-but-true headlines, and the kind of stories you trade with friends over drinks, don’t miss this “Friday Happy Hour.”

Transcript

[Yamaneika Saunders]

This is an iHeart podcast.

[Lele Pons]

Guaranteed Human.

[Podcast Announcer (Podlandia)]

Hey, Portlandia fans.

[Fred Armisen]

Kerry Brownstein and Fred Armisen here.

[Podcast Announcer (Podlandia)]

The dream of the 90s is alive in podcast form.

[Fred Armisen]

We're launching Podlandia AO Rewatch our brand new podcast where we revisit every episode of Portlandia together, breaking down sketches, going deep on our iconic characters and pulling back the curtain on how it all got made.

[Podcast Announcer (Podlandia)]

And we'll also be joined by the people who helped bring it all to life, guest stars, collaborators and friends, including director Jonathan Krisel, the mayor himself, Kyle McLaughlin, legendary musician Amy Mann, and many more.

[Fred Armisen]

Kyle is going for it. Here you fully improvised not just words, but a song about.

[Jeremy Odom]

Well, I thought you were all going

[Chelsea Handler]

to write a song.

[Fred Armisen]

I remember you thinking that. Listen to Podlandia AO rewatch on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Ari Chambers]

What's up, fam? It's sports journalist Ari Chambers.

[Sam J.]

Hey, what's up, y'?

[Jeremy Odom]

All?

[Sam J.]

It's your girl, Sam J.

[Ari Chambers]

And we're the hosts of Everyone Watches Women's Sports, a new podcast from.

[Sam J.]

Together we're breaking down the biggest headlines, the viral moments and the stories everyone's talking about across women's sports.

[Ari Chambers]

From game changing performances to culture shifting conversations. We'll give you our takes, our debates and a few laughs along the way

[Sam J.]

because everyone watches women's sports. Listen to Everyone watches women's sports on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Chelsea Handler]

This is Chelsea Handler from Dear Chelsea. Every week the news gets worse, the world gets crazier, and Yamanika is here to tell whoever's responsible, you're the problem.

[Yamaneika Saunders]

Do you know I just found who Sydney Sweeney was? If he got a bunch of women, then I should have a bunch of men do better or do less so I don't have to do so much. I'm Yamaneika and I'm out. Listen to youo're the Problem with yamaneika on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Lele Pons]

My first guest is Paris Hilton, Shakira, Luke and Yerin.

[Jeremy Odom]

You have surprises, many surprises.

[Lele Pons]

Welcome to the Sweet 305 podcast where the group chat comes to life.

[Jeremy Odom (Intro Voice)]

What?

[Lele Pons]

You're the only person I know that loves a yellow Starburst.

[Jeremy Odom]

It's lemonade.

[Lele Pons]

This is Sweet 305. Here, oversharing is encouraged. Listen to Sweet 305 with Lele Pons on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcast or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Jeremy Odom (Intro Voice)]

Hit that intro. Go. Laugh with me when the wrench pass due and the car won't start Laugh with me when the only sponsor is my broken heart we're hanging on this janky street Two weird voices in the glow of a screen if the world won't sing then let it laugh with me.

[Jeremy Odom]

Welcome back. It's a brand new episode. This is Laugh With Me, the podcast with Jeremy Odom, the Friday Happy Hour. I'm your host.

[Jeremy Odom (Intro Voice)]

Jeremy stares at the stats, hand shaking over takeout boxes. Johnny's already mapping hotels on a napkin with greasy crosses. They quit jobs. They kind of hate it. Tell their bosses, catch the show. Boss just shrugs, hope it's funny. Johnny grins, you'll never know.

[Jeremy Odom]

HJo. Welcome to the Friday Happy Hour. We are looking to end the week on a strong note. That's because we're cracking open an ice cold beer and discussing the week that was which.

[Yamaneika Saunders]

You know,

[Jeremy Odom]

as I put on my shirt today, it really made me reflect on the week that was the shirts. This, it's a red long sleeve, like, like an athletic shirt. And I'll tell you, I got the shirt for free. Back in the day, I would do like, like 5Ks and not a lot. And I wasn't a. I wasn't one of those guys that ran like trained or anything. This was for work. So I did a 5k and I walked most of it, I think. But the shirt on the front says run. Now. This shirt used to hang on me. It's a size large. It used to hang on me was very comfortable. So I threw it on, thinking this would be a nice comfortable shirt. Wear inside in the air conditioning

[Sam J.]

because

[Jeremy Odom]

outside it's like 100 degrees. Like, it's just nasty out. Like, this is good. This is gonna be real nice. Except it's real tight now. So it's one of those eye openers. And then it made me think back on the week. Like, did you do any exercise this week? Clothes are getting tighter, man. Like, I've already started to. When I buy a new shirt or sweatshirt or anything, I get an xl. Like that's just done deal. And I could even get a 2 XL. And it's a little big, but it's comfortable. And I. So I don't know what I was thinking when I was like, well, this is going to be real nice. It always, you know, just kind of loose. It's kind of a light shirt. Throw it on, man. Baby, this thing's tight. I don't think I did much exercise in this week. Few walks here and there my back's still killing me. If you're not all caught up on Laugh with Me episodes, I fell off a skateboard. I do believe I broke my back. And then I went to a concert where I thought it was a good idea to live in the pit, and I did fall immediately and landed on my back. So that's, that's where I'm at. I think I re aggravated it just a little bit because it is very sore. And it's one of those things where I don't think I broke any. If I didn't break anything, I certainly have got some inflamed muscles, you know, going on in the back because, man, is it sore. And it's starting to get difficult to roll in bed again. But hey, I'm not complaining, okay? I'm just out here living my life. I'm just telling you. I wore a tight shirt today. And it, it just got me thinking, Johnny. Now Johnny will wear tight shirts on purpose because he runs and he works out a little bit. So he's just, you know, he's just trying to flex on the people, whereas I'm not so much, you know, I'm getting to the point where my stomach is, is sitting out a little further than my chest. So like, I wear a tight shirt, you know, and it's just exposing that your boy might be having a few too many of those Friday happy hour beers. That's all, that's all I'm saying about the tight shirt. I got nothing against people who do wear tight shirts. In fact, if I could pull off tight pants, I'd probably wear tight pants. But alas, it's just not in the cards for, for old Jo. So, yeah, so that's how I started the day. But not really what we want to talk about today. What I, what I really want to get into. Couple of things we're going to have a, a laugh with me. News report coming up in just a little bit. But before we get to that, I do have to tell you about this experience I had at the grocery store the other day. In fact, two days ago, I ran to the store, was going to buy a few groceries for the week. You know, no big deal. Wasn't a massive grocery shopping trip, but it was a grocery shopping trip nonetheless. Less so. I get my cart and I'm flying through getting, getting the, the old list shopped and I get to the back of the store and I will tell you, this was at a Walmart. So it's a large store, okay. And I'm at the back of wall of Walmart with my full grocery cart. And you know me, I've got the Crohn's disease. Okay. Sometimes when the moment hits you, baby, you gotta go. And I'm, I'm in the back. And that moment hits me to the point where I'm starting to wonder if, if I'm even gonna make it to the restroom up front. Do I? Because my instant thought was, oh, great, I need to go so that way I can get home, because everybody loves a home game. But I was starting to think this was going to be a situation where it was certainly going to be a road trip. So I instantly start moving towards the front of the store so that I could, you know, try to maybe walk it off. I don't know. This has happened before. I have walked off that urge before. But the, the issue today is that I am. Am I a full week? Yeah, I'm a. I'm just about a full week off of steroids. So my body is, you know, getting clear of any of the steroid that was helping me kind of keep things, keep things going. So my body's kind of, you know, figuring all that out. And as it's figuring that out, sometimes you get the urge. That's where we were today. We're at the Walmart.

[Fred Armisen]

So

[Jeremy Odom]

now I'm gonna just. I'm gonna give it to you right now. So you don't think I'm gonna get to the end of the story and freaking Jeremy's gonna shit himself. No, I did not. I did in fact make it to the toilet. But what I want to tell you is my story along the way, because this didn't, this is never happened to me. I usually have pretty good awareness of everything around me. And so I'm rushing to the front of the store, right? And I decide this is happening. There's no way I'm gonna make it home. So I'm gonna park the cart, I'm gonna run into the. Into the restroom, which was awesome because I walked into a fully clean, fully empty restroom, which is great because you don't always get both of those things. Sometimes you won't even get one of those things. So I get, I get both. And I feel like this is going to be fantastic. This is going to be an in and out situation. So I roll up, find the first stall, hop in. And the. One of the other good things about the Walmart restroom that you don't find in other places, like, I'm going to compare it now to Barnes and Nobles. They do not have Barnes and Nobles does not have the music playing. You know, the music playing in the restrooms, which. Anybody who has to sit down really wants that music. It's going to take away some of the attention of the sounds coming from any particular stall. So if you don't have the single restrooms with. This is for all business owners. If you don't have a single stall restroom, it has a lock. Then you need to have music in there just to help help your boy out. Okay. Now, Walmart did have the music going, which was fantastic. And I was feeling pretty comfortable because I was in there alone. And I don't quite remember what song was playing. It was like a. Like an 80s song, and I'm very much into 80s jam. So I started singing along because I hadn't heard it in a while. I'm like, oh, yeah. So I start singing along and I'm doing my business. And this stall, I mean, tell you, between the music and me singing and everything else going on, this stall was rocking and I'm done. I grabbed the toilet paper. When I reach over the toilet paper, I noticed in the stall next to me, shoes. So I was not alone. And in my state of mind, walking in immediately, seeing nobody. It's. It's just in there, you know, it's just open. I just hopped in the first stall, and I just assumed I must have been in the zone because normally I am very aware, very aware of my surroundings. Somehow I let this one slip. Yeah, there was some guy sitting in the stall next to me, and I can't even imagine what he was thinking. I can't even imagine. I. I know, like, people. You know, I've had people in the stalls next to you, and they're playing YouTube videos or they're on the phone, speakerphone. You know, I. I don't know that I've ever sat down or already been sitting and somebody sits down and they're just a singing wow. While bombs are dropping over Baghdad. Like, I don't think I've ever experienced that. So this. I don't know what this guy was thinking. Actually. I. I got out of there fairly quickly without encountering anybody, thankfully. But in hindsight, I kind of. I kind of wonder what was going through his mind as all of this is going on, because I was just having the time of my life, apparently. But I got. I got out of there, got my groceries, made it home. But, man, that was. That was a potential incident that turned into just. Just an odd one. And everybody's. Everybody's safe. So that's really all that matters, right, guys? I mean, that's. Everybody went home safely. We're gonna be right back with some more Friday happy hour.

[Ari Chambers]

What's up, fam? I'm sports journalist Ari Chambers.

[Sam J.]

Hey, what's up, y'?

[Fred Armisen]

All?

[Sam J.]

It's your girl, Sam J.

[Ari Chambers]

And we're the host of Everyone Watches Women's Sports, a new podcast from together. And I heart women's sports because, let's

[Sam J.]

be real, women's sports is giving us way too much to talk about these days.

[Ari Chambers]

So Kelsey Findler, she became the first female solo rower to go from California to Hawaii.

[Sam J.]

My first thought is, like, what's up with the snacks? Like, what are we eating?

[Ari Chambers]

The highlights, the rivalries, the breakout stars, the moments that take over your entire

[Sam J.]

timeline and the conversations that start during the game and somehow keep going all week. Every week, we're breaking down the biggest stories across women's sports.

[Ari Chambers]

Naomi Osaka showing out. She beat Sabalenka.

[Sam J.]

Shout outs to you, Naomi.

[Ari Chambers]

You get the palm. Naomi, you get the palm for that.

[Sam J.]

Because we're not just interested in what happened. We're interested in why everyone's talking about it. Because everyone watches women's sports. Listen to everyone watches women's Sports on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast.

[Podcast Announcer (Podlandia)]

Hey, Portlandia fans.

[Fred Armisen]

Kerry Brownstein and Fred Armisen here, you

[Podcast Announcer (Podlandia)]

know us, or rather, you know them. Tony and Candace, Nina and Lance, Spike and yes, the chicken.

[Fred Armisen]

We've played a lot of iconic characters over the years, but today we're showing up as ourselves to tell you about Podlandia. Ao rewatch our brand new podcast.

[Podcast Announcer (Podlandia)]

Each week, we'll revisit an episode of Portlandia from the very beginning, breaking down the sketches, exploring the backstories of our most iconic characters, revisiting the Portland locations you know and love, and opening up about our creative process.

[Fred Armisen]

How did any of this get made? Why did he think that was a good idea? We're ready to talk about it.

[Podcast Announcer (Podlandia)]

And we'll also be joined by the people who helped bring it all to life. Guest stars, collaborators, and friends, including director Jonathan Krisel, the mayor himself, Kyle MacLachlan, legendary musician Amy Mann, and many more.

[Fred Armisen]

Kyle is going for it. Here you fully improvised, not just words, but a song.

[Jeremy Odom]

Well, I thought he was gonna write. I thought you were all gonna write a song.

[Fred Armisen]

I remember you thinking that.

[Podcast Announcer (Podlandia)]

Listen to Podlandia. Ayo rewatch on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Lele Pons]

My first guest is Paris Hilton, Shakira, Luke and Yerin. Samira E. Gracie. I'm so excited.

[Jeremy Odom]

On the bouncy bed, you have surprises, many surprises.

[Lele Pons]

Welcome to suite 305, where the group chat comes to life. What up? You're the only person I know that loves a yellow Starburst.

[Jeremy Odom]

It's lemonade.

[Lele Pons]

This is suite 305. Listen to suite 305 with Lele Pons as part of my Cultura Podcast Network on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Chelsea Handler]

This is Chelsea Handler from Dear Chelsea. Every week the news gets worse, the world gets crazier, and Yamanika is here to tell whoever's responsible, you're the problem.

[Yamaneika Saunders]

If you come over here to play games, I' ma check you, okay? If you do some S in the news that don't sound good, I'mma play you.

[Chelsea Handler]

Join Yamanika Saunders as she breaks down the week's most problematic stories on her new podcast. You're the Problem with Yamanika.

[Jeremy Odom (Intro Voice)]

Do you know?

[Yamaneika Saunders]

I just found out who Sydney Sweeney was.

[Chelsea Handler]

New episodes weekly every Wednesday as part of my new network, the Dear Chelsea Network.

[Yamaneika Saunders]

If he got a bunch of women, then I should have a bunch of men do better or do less so I don't have to do so much.

[Chelsea Handler]

So join Yamaneika each episode as she answers one question. Who's the problem?

[Yamaneika Saunders]

I'm Yamanika, and I'm out. Listen to youo're the Problem with yamaneika on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Jeremy Odom]

Welcome back to Laugh with Me and the Friday Happy hour I got. Here's the thing. This is something I. I get these news reports. They come across my desk, okay? And a lot of times and anymore in 2026, you got to really dig in to make sure something's legit. Like some of this stuff, these headlines, I mean, there's no way they're real. Like, they have to be made up, and they're just satire or parody or something. Like, they're just fake. But then you see something like this, and you instantly think it's fake. But you. It's. It's odd enough that you do your due diligence only to find out that it's real. It's spectacular. In China, okay? The police stations have started welcoming stray cats and giving them new purpose, as you guessed it, police cats, okay? They even have little vests. They. They chase rodents away. It gives cats a new home. I mean, they are training these Cats to become little policemen. Isn't that wild? It. It's wild. And there's so much more to the story. So that made me think that it was time and. And. And I wanted to get this out here before it became an all mice lives matter situation, because the last thing we wanted was to be behind on this new story. So with that being said, it's time for a Laugh With Me news report. Now, here at Laugh With Me News, we take everything very seriously, and we do our hardest to find the biggest news stories the Internet has. In fact, we want all those stories where you just think to yourself, there's no way that's real. Only to find out, yeah, somehow it is. Well, today's story comes from China, where police departments have apparently looked at K9 units and said, you know what? Dogs are expensive. What can Mr. Whiskers do? I mean, there's so many stray cats out there that there's. There's ample opportunity to grow the police unit without. Without costing you a dime. So China has started training police cats. Now, before you picture a fluffy orange cat in aviary sunglasses, kicking indoors, yelling, nobody move. Meow. Let's set the expectations, okay? These cats aren't leading SWAT raids. That's just not possible. They're mainly being trained to sniff out contraband, patrol certain areas, and use their natural agility to get in the places that dogs simply can't. Which sounds impressive until you remember, guys, they're still cats. Imagine trying to brief a police cat before a mission. Like, all right, Officer Mittens, we have intelligence that there's illegal narcotics inside that warehouse. The cat just slowly knocks your coffee off the desk. Mission accomplished or mission accepted? Cats don't obey commands. They negotiate. Police dog. Sit. Stay.

[Yamaneika Saunders]

Attack.

[Jeremy Odom]

Done. Police cat. Hey, come here. Nothing. I've got tuna. Nothing. I'm serious. Like, come on, cat. The cat's already asleep inside the evidence locker. And honestly, I don't know if I trust a species that makes direct eye contact while ignoring every word you say. Like, dogs want to impress you. Cats want to know what authority you have. Can you imagine getting arrested by a cat I don't even know. I didn't even know I was under investigation. No, you've actually been under surveillance for six months. By who? The tabby that's been sitting outside your apartment pretending to watch birds? Oh, I thought he just hated me. Oh, he does now. The report says they're using these cats because they're stealthy, fast, and could squeeze into tiny spaces, which, actually, that makes a lot of sense. Which is exactly what every criminal wants to hear. So how'd the police find the stash? Well, the cat climbed through an air vent because someone left a cardboard box nearby. Of course he did. You know what the biggest problem is going to be? Corruption. Not from the officers. No, no, from the cat. You think somebody couldn't bribe a cat?

[Jeremy Odom (Intro Voice)]

What?

[Jeremy Odom]

One can of premium salmon and suddenly the entire investigation disappears. Officer Whiskers, did you see the suspect licks his paw. We'll take that as a no. And let's be honest, the first time one of these cats catches a laser pointer instead of a criminal, the whole department is going to have some questions. The police chief. Where's Officer Snowball? Well, he's been chasing the reflection off Carl's watch for 45 minutes. Excellent dedication. Here's what I love, though. Somewhere in China, there's probably a rookie officer who's taken this completely seriously. Sir, my partner isn't responding. Well, have you tried shaking the treat bag? No. Rookie mistake. Meanwhile, imagine the paperwork. Causes of delay might be suspect fled. Officer became distracted by pigeon. Officer climbed a tree. Officer refused to come down. Unlike police dogs. You know what? Police cat is absolutely judging everyone involved. The crime scene judged, victim judged, detectives judged. The medical examiner. Oh, definitely judged. If they ever expand this program worldwide, America is going to take it too far. I mean, you know, we'll just ramp it up another level. We'll have police cats with tiny tactical vests, little body cameras, miniature badges. And every news station will spend 15 minutes talking about how brave Officer Beans is. While Officer Beans is in the background just looking at himself during a press conference. No shame, no professionalism, just, you know, commitment to being a cat. But I will say this. If a criminal gets caught by a cat, I mean, you can't even be mad. You have to just sit in jail knowing your criminal empire was dismantled by an animal whose biggest life goal is knocking your glass of water off the nightstand. I mean, that's gotta be humbling. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is your Laugh With Me news report. We'll be right back. Man, if we had police cats here in the States at some point, I mean, you could. You would figure the criminals could just get one of those laser pointers and then, you know, distract the officer, Officer Whiskers, with a little. Little right laser. I mean, you would think that would work. I don't think it would be very difficult to distract these little cats. And then, you know, you just. You're gonna have these litter boxes just all over town. Just who the. The city, their janitorial budget's gonna have to climb because they're just gonna be going around town all day emptying and sorting through litter boxes for these officers. I mean, I don't know. Now, the more I think about it, this may not be very cost effective for cities, but we'll see how China does. Maybe. Maybe this is the wave of the future. Canines, be gone, kittens.

[Jeremy Odom (Intro Voice)]

Let's ride that intro. Go. Laugh with me when the rent's past due and the car won' Laugh with me when the only sponsor is my broken heart we're hanging on this janky stream Two weird voices in the glow of a screen? If the world won't sing then let it laugh with me.