REWIND: Santa Claus Joins Laugh With Me!

Summary

Laugh with Me – REWIND: Santa Claus Joins Laugh With Me!

Host: Jeremy Odom
Guest: Santa Claus (Kris Kringle)
Air Date: December 19, 2025

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Episode Overview

In this special “REWIND” edition of Laugh with Me, host Jeremy Odom brings back one of the podcast’s most memorable early guests: Santa Claus himself! With Christmas around the corner, Jeremy and Santa reflect on holiday traditions, Santa’s modern lifestyle (think: spin classes and hot tubs), the truth behind the Naughty List, and candid holiday humor. The banter is fast, tongue-in-cheek, and full of playful jabs at holiday culture, the pressures of Santa’s job, and the quirks of being the world’s most famous gift-giver.

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Key Discussion Segments & Insights

Setting the Mood and Introducing Santa

• [06:37] Jeremy opens with high-energy, poking fun at his co-host Johnny’s lack of Christmas spirit, and frames the episode as a “Rewind” to their earlier Santa Claus interview.
• [09:38] Santa bursts onto the scene: “Merry Christmas, Santa Claus.”
• Santa asserts his dominance and traditional greeting: “I would appreciate if you wouldn't talk over me… I said, ho, ho, ho. I said Merry Christmas.” (Santa Claus, [09:45])

Santa’s Lifestyle & Delegation

• [10:10] Jeremy asks about Santa’s preparations leading to Christmas Eve.
• [10:16] Santa’s modern twist: “I've really gotten into spin classes here recently.” (Santa Claus, [10:16])
• Emphasizes delegation: “I don't do shit. I picked up gifts. I don't know how to do it.” (Santa Claus, [10:29])
• “You should know that I am the distributor. I work on logistics.” (Santa Claus, [10:46])

Santa vs. Amazon: The Christmas Turf War

• [11:20] Jeremy jokes about Amazon taking over Christmas.
• Santa retorts confidently:
  • “Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Amazon?”
  • “I have right now Monopoly… Don't come at me.” (Santa Claus, [11:34])
  • “Parents are buying their kids gifts on Amazon. Maybe. Sure, sure, sure. But who are they saying the gift is from?” (Santa Claus, [11:53])
• “The game is the same now as it was 40 years ago. The game is the same now as it was 80 years ago.” (Santa Claus, [12:14])

Gift Requests & Gut Health Gags

• [12:29] Santa says he gets requests from all age groups, and jokes: “You know what most people want? Continents. They want to be able to poop.” (Santa Claus, [12:44])
• “Normally I prescribe caffeine. That’ll normally get the job done.” (Santa Claus, [12:54])
• Jeremy references Crohn’s Disease: “Is it possible that this was a Christmas gift from Old St. Nick a few years back?”
  • Santa: “No, no, no. In fact, exactly the opposite.” ([13:22])

The Sleep Surveillance Files

• [13:37] Santa talks about “evolution in watching people” sleep:
  • “The arm flailers… people that would just throw their arms across, slap people in the face.”
  • Santa teases Jeremy about sleep fights with his partner: “I've watched you sleep. I've seen Ashley lay that left hand across the face.” (Santa Claus, [14:07])
• Blanket-stealing: “I really enjoyed the blanket stealers… leave the other person cold.” (Santa Claus, [14:40])
• On bedhead: “I honestly… love people that spend a lot of time with their hair, and the thing turns into a mohawk.” (Santa Claus, [15:50])

Santa on His Favorite Places & Post-Christmas Routine

• [16:47] When asked about favorite stops, Santa says: “I like every single place that I could go after Christmas. That's where I want to go… I don't want to spend more time on Christmas.”
• [17:30] Santa’s self-care:
  • “I am the king of [spin class] … I jump in the hot tub afterwards.”
  • “There is nothing more pleasant than pouring yourself a glass of champagne, sitting in a hot tub when it is zero degrees outside and just watching the condensation form to ice on the side of your glass.” (Santa Claus, [18:20])

Naughty List, Coal, and the 2018 AI Disaster

• [25:49] Jeremy asks about mistakes on the Naughty List.
• Santa: “That I've admitted to.” (Santa Claus, [26:06])
• Santa’s public apology: “I will admit to the disaster of 2018. I tried to make it up to people. And I'm sorry… I should not have automated the Naughty List.” (Santa Claus, [26:22], [26:57])
• Coal explained: “From the ground in the North Pole… it's dinosaur bones.” (Santa Claus, [27:42])

Santa’s Movie Takes & Holiday Competition

• [28:42] On “Napoleon”: “Didn’t have much of a Christmas spirit to it.” (Santa Claus, [28:45])
• Holiday rivalries: “I'm not afraid of Mariah Carey. I was more annoyed when… every time it hit a quiet spot: Beyonce.” (Santa Claus, [29:24])
• The challenge of the Beehive (Beyonce’s fans): “Have you… seen the Beehive?” (Santa Claus, [29:51])

Fitness, Cookies, and Pandemic Precautions

• [30:44] Spin class all year: “Just to help you get in shape so that you can eat cookies at every home you visit on Christmas Eve?”
• “Oh, you got me… I'm just a normal guy. I got a whole bunch of elves.” (Santa Claus, [31:03])
• [31:32] On COVID protocols:
  • “That's what the beard's for.”
  • “The beard blocked the COVID from you.” (Santa Claus, [31:32], [31:38])

Joke Testing and Santa’s Stand-Up Review

• [32:52] Jeremy tests out jokes on Santa, to which Santa is blunt:
  • “No. Whoa. Quite the sense of humor… You're a really big boy.” (Santa Claus, [32:48])
  • On another joke: “That second joke is horrible. Don't ever air that. That's bad.” (Santa Claus, [34:03])
• Santa’s classic: “You just need to do the ho, ho, ho.” (Santa Claus, [34:14])

Santa, Privacy, and Respecting Boundaries

• [34:59] Santa is adamant: “Not at your local malls and local grocery stores… Don't walk up to me. Don't call my attention.”
• “I want to live my normal life.” (Santa Claus, [35:23])

Parting Words and Santa’s Philosophical Side

• [36:06] “Why does it have to be a big deal? Why am I responsible for your happiness this time of season?” (Santa Claus, [36:06])
• “Sometimes Christmas comes at the most inopportune moments.” (Santa Claus, [36:46])
• “Sometimes Christmas is its own surprise. Little boy Jesus.” (Santa Claus, [37:01])
• Jeremy signs off with gratitude and a nudge at Mrs. Claus.

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Notable Quotes

“I don't do shit. I picked up gifts. I don't know how to do it.”
— Santa Claus ([10:29])

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Amazon? I have right now Monopoly… Don't come at me.”
— Santa Claus ([11:34])

“You know what most people want? Continents. They want to be able to poop.”
— Santa Claus ([12:44])

“I should not have automated the Naughty List… and I have corrected that, but I do not accept personal responsibility for it.”
— Santa Claus ([26:57])

“There is nothing more pleasant than pouring yourself a glass of champagne, sitting in a hot tub when it is zero degrees outside and just watching the condensation form to ice on the side of your glass.”
— Santa Claus ([18:20])

“Sometimes Christmas is its own surprise. Little boy Jesus.”
— Santa Claus ([37:01])

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Memorable Moments

• Santa admitting his love for spin class and referencing Peloton culture ([10:16], [17:45])
• Blunt, hilarious takes on the logistics of Christmas and boredom with his own legend
• Santa’s mock rivalry with Amazon and witty dismissal of Mariah Carey/Beyonce fever ([11:34], [29:24])
• Honest appraisal of a pandemic beard as PPE ([31:32])
• Jeremy’s failed joke attempts and Santa’s stone-cold critiques ([32:52], [34:03])
• The “2018 AI Naughty List Disaster” – a surreal, tongue-in-cheek admission of automation gone wrong ([26:22])

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Useful Timestamps

| Time | Segment / Highlight | |-------------|-------------------------------------| | 06:37 | Jeremy sets the holiday mood | | 09:38 | Santa’s entrance | | 10:16 | Santa talks spin class/logistics | | 11:34 | Santa vs. Amazon discussion | | 12:44 | Gut health requests as Christmas gifts | | 13:37 | Santa’s sleep surveillance stories | | 17:30 | Santa’s hot tub rituals | | 26:22 | 2018 AI Naughty List fiasco | | 28:42 | Santa reviews “Napoleon” movie | | 32:52 | Jeremy’s joke test and Santa’s feedback | | 34:59 | Santa’s no-malls policy | | 36:06 | Santa gets philosophical about Xmas | | 37:01 | “Little boy Jesus” sign-off moment |

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Tone & Takeaways

• Language/Tone: Warm, rapid-fire, irreverent, full of spontaneous banter and playful ribbing.
• Santa’s Persona: Both classic and subversive—blunt, a little tired, wryly self-aware, not above humble-bragging or airing his grievances.
• Takeaways:
  • Santa’s magic is in delegation, not sweat.
  • The Naughty List is not immune to technological meltdowns.
  • Even legendary figures need downtime in the hot tub.
  • Hosting Santa is equal parts comedy and therapy session.

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For Listeners

Whether you’re full of holiday spirit or “kind of a grump,” this episode delivers a delightfully offbeat, behind-the-scenes take on Christmas icons, and proves even Santa can keep up with modern life—and comedy.

Transcript

[Jeremy Odom]

Snow falls down like a punchline joke Jeremy O with the mic he spoke Eric Larson Guest of the Year no doubt Johnny P in the booth he's mixing it out Santa's got his sleigh We've got our shirt Laughter's the gift let the joy overflow Laugh with me laugh with me FA la la la Fun stories and jokes till the night is done Thong song plays while we sip eggnog OJ somewhere but hey let's move along 6 reindeer racing 7 jokes deep Eric cracks a pun Johnny' losing sleep the mic is hot, the vibe's so chill Jeremy is the captain of this laughter filled thrill Candy canes and punchlines Swirl podcasts Gold in a Christmas world Pass the cookies, the milk, the cheer let's toast to the laughs and a brighter new year Laugh with me, laugh with me FA la la la Fun stories and jokes till the night Thong song plays while we sip Edna the OJ somewhere but hey let's move along. Candy canes and punchline swirl podcasts Gold in a Christmas world Pass the cookies, the milk, the cheer let's toast to the laughs and a brighter new year air Laugh with me, laugh with me FA la la la Fun stories and Jo Till the night is done Thong song plays while we sip eggnog OJ somewhere But hey let's move along.

Let'S.

[Announcer]

Move along.

[Jeremy Odom]

But hey let's move along.

[Commercial Voice]

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[Jeremy Odom]

Welcome back. It is Laugh With Me, a podcast with Jeremy Odom, and I'm your host, J O. And here at Laugh With Me boy. We are in the holiday spirit. Happy Hanukkah. Merry Christmas so much. Just feelgood, exciting, upbeat energy in the air right now. Except for little. Little Grinchy in some places, by the way. Not. Johnny, I. It's not that. It's not that you're not in the Christmas spirit. It's just you tend to just kind of stay the same. I mean, you're. As a guy, Johnny, you're kind of a grump. And a lot of people at the holiday times, you know, the spirits get raised just a little bit. They get a little more pep in their step. You see some family, some friends, maybe take some time off from work. And my guy, you're. I'm not saying you get grumpier, but you're certainly not fitting the, you know, I suppose the holiday spirit. And that's.

[Sponsor Voice]

No, I'm not.

[Jeremy Odom]

I'm not kidding around. Like, you, like, seriously, let's. Let's feel the energy, okay? Let's feel the energy around you. Go out. Go. Go to some stores. That's what you need to do. That's what the holiday season is about. Go out to some stores and just absorb all that feel good that's going on around there and then maybe get a little more pep in your step, buddy. But anyway, we. We've got a good one for you here today because we're gonna rewind you. We are gonna rewind you. It was the end of 2023. One of the biggest guests we've ever had here on Laugh With Me. It is the big guy himself, Kris Kringle. Santa Claus was on the show. This was in the early days of the podcast, like, real early days of the pot. So this is gonna be a lot of fun. It was a good chat with the big man. We get to hear about what exactly is he's doing as he watches asleep. You know. You know, famously, Santa watches you in your sleep. So we're gonna. We're gonna ask him, you know, what's. Well, we did ask him what's the deal, what exactly it is that you're looking for, and just kind of see what it is he does throughout the rest of the year. He had a lot to say, so this was a big get for us early on in the show. We're bringing it back to you. It's the rewind. Laugh With Me with special guest Santa Clau. Okay.

[Co-host or Guest]

All right.

[Jeremy Odom]

Here is the big guy. It is Santa Claus on Laugh With Me. Hello. Holy cow.

[Santa Claus]

Merry Christmas, Santa Claus.

[Jeremy Odom]

You're. You're actually here. You're on. Laugh with me.

[Santa Claus]

I would appreciate if you wouldn't talk over me. I don't know if you heard, but I said, ho, ho, ho.

I said Merry Christmas.

[Jeremy Odom]

Oh, yeah, no, I heard, I heard. Merry Christmas. You do love to send that greeting out to the people, but thanks for coming on the show and spending some time with us.

[Santa Claus]

I would love nothing better than to spread my Christmas cheers.

[Jeremy Odom]

So you're. It's almost Christmas Eve. We're just, you know, a couple weeks away. Like, what are you up to right now?

[Santa Claus]

You know, I'm. I've really gotten into spin classes here recently.

[Jeremy Odom]

Spin classes?

[Santa Claus]

Yeah, doing a lot of bike riding.

[Jeremy Odom]

Why? Why are you bike riding right now? It's the busiest time of year for you.

[Santa Claus]

I mean, I don't do shit. I picked up gifts. Like, I don't know how to do it.

[Jeremy Odom]

So you're just a delegator?

[Santa Claus]

Yes. Have you not participated in Christmas cheer up to this point in your life?

[Jeremy Odom]

No, I have. I guess I agree.

[Santa Claus]

You should know that I am the distributor. I work on logistics.

[Jeremy Odom]

So you're. Wow. You're just strictly in logistics then. So, Santa, so you're busy running spin classes while your team is creating all the gifts and gathering everything for the children all across the world.

[Santa Claus]

Right, right, right.

[Jeremy Odom]

When do you follow up? I mean, I'm assuming you're getting reports back from. From the workshop.

[Santa Claus]

Follow up. What's the competition?

[Jeremy Odom]

Who.

[Santa Claus]

Who else are you going to go to?

[Jeremy Odom]

That's a good point. I. I will say you have had a stronghold on Christmas for a long time. Amazon appears to be gaining some steam.

[Santa Claus]

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Amazon?

[Jeremy Odom]

Yeah. Jeff Bezos.

[Santa Claus]

I have right now Monopoly.

Encroach on me. So you're telling me I'm not afraid of Amazon?

[Jeremy Odom]

So Amazon has nothing on Santa Claus?

[Commercial Voice]

No.

[Santa Claus]

Am parents are buying their kids gifts on Amazon. Maybe.

Sure, sure, sure. But who are they saying the gift is from?

[Jeremy Odom]

Yeah, that's a good point. It is. It is from Santa Claus. Yeah. That's soft point. People are parents all across the world. Are you thinking. A little embarrassed, you know, to say it'd be from Amazon?

[Santa Claus]

Yeah. The game is the same now as it was 40 years ago. The game is the same now as it was 80 years ago. Like, don't come at me. Don't come at me.

[Jeremy Odom]

So what are some of the popular gifts this year that kids are asking for?

[Santa Claus]

Well, I think it's funny that you said kids because. Because, I mean, honestly, I get. I get requests from everybody. I get requests from all Age groups.

[Jeremy Odom]

Wow.

[Santa Claus]

And you know what? You know what most people want?

[Jeremy Odom]

What?

[Santa Claus]

Continents.

They.

They want to be able to poop.

[Jeremy Odom]

You're. You're saying everybody wants to poop? How. How exactly are they asking you?

[Santa Claus]

Well, normally I prescribe caffeine. Oh.

[Jeremy Odom]

Oh, you're sending caffeine to the folks or.

[Santa Claus]

Yeah, you know, that'll normally get the job done. I mean, if it doesn't, you know, maybe the next year they might ask me something a little bit stronger.

[Jeremy Odom]

Yeah, I. I will say, Santa, I have zero issues in the pooping area. As you know, I have Crohn's disease. Is. Is it possible that this was a Christmas gift from Old St. Nick a few years back?

[Santa Claus]

No, no, no.

In fact, exactly the opposite.

[Jeremy Odom]

Oh, thank you. Well, as we all know, Santa watches you when you sleep. What's some of the oddest things you've seen when watching people?

[Santa Claus]

Well, you know, it was really an evolution in watching people. First couple years when I was watching people, what I really keyed in on was I love the arm foilers. People that would just throw their arms across that they would slap people in the face. You know, just all the arguments that that would cause.

[Jeremy Odom]

Yeah. What do you mean, people slapping across the face? What do you mean?

[Santa Claus]

You know what I mean.

No, don't act.

I've watched you sleep. I've seen Ashley lay that left hand across the face.

[Jeremy Odom]

Well, you know what, you son of a bitch? I thought you were referring to the time I had a dream where I was fighting Chuck Norris and I did throw an arm over to the left side.

[Santa Claus]

Oh.

Oh, that's funny. Because of how you treat your audience, the fact that you withhold information like that.

[Jeremy Odom]

I don't. I don't withhold anything from anyone.

[Santa Claus]

Well, in speaking of withholding, that was actually kind of my second evolution is, you know, after I got tired of.

The arm flailers, I really enjoyed the blanket stealers. You know, those people that would just kind of hog all the blankets, they pull them all to their side.

[Jeremy Odom]

Oh, yeah.

[Santa Claus]

Leave the other person cold.

[Jeremy Odom]

Yeah. See, that's the thing. Folks who steal blankets, I call them the poor people. Santa, I. I feel like you like that joke. Was that good?

[Santa Claus]

No, I'm. I'm offended by that joke. I'm offended by that joke, because the people that you call poor are the same people that are asking me for gifts every year.

[Jeremy Odom]

That is true.

[Santa Claus]

Well, they're asking me for that blanket because they know that that blanket is going to get stolen. We touched on this idea of, like, what do you watch for when you sleep? And honestly, what I watch for when I sleep, when people are sleeping, when I'm sleeping, when everybody is sleeping. What I watch for bedhead.

[Jeremy Odom]

You're watching for the bed head.

[Santa Claus]

I love it. I love it. I, I honestly, I'll get like, I love people that spend a lot of time with their hair and then they, they kind of turn over a little.

Bit and the thing turns into a mohawk. I, I love it when people who don't care about their hair wake up and the hair just looks perfect. Like it was like on a TV show.

Like, I just, I want to see that because that is the randomness. That's what I crave. I've seen every other kind of sleeping that there could happen.

[Jeremy Odom]

You're telling me right now that your favorite part of watching people when they sleep is seeing what happens to their hair?

[Santa Claus]

Yeah.

[Jeremy Odom]

You're a sick freak, Santa. I just want to say you've got some, like some weird kinks. That's for.

[Santa Claus]

I don't like. I guess I don't understand the fascination. Like you guys know, know I'm here. You guys have known I'm here since the beginning.

[Jeremy Odom]

We've got Kris Kringle here on Laugh With Me. What are some of your favorite places to visit on Christmas Eve?

[Santa Claus]

I have a lot to do. I have a lot to do. I have very refined taste. Refined taste for the most basic things.

[Jeremy Odom]

Candy canes and gumdrops are your game. What do you mean, refined taste?

[Santa Claus]

I think of bears because nothing is unique. Well, I like every single place that I could go after Christmas. That's where I want to go. Like, I don't want to spend more time on Christmas. I don't want to spend more time watching you guys.

[Jeremy Odom]

So what?

[Santa Claus]

I have stuff to do.

[Jeremy Odom]

What do you do? What do you do after delivering gifts all over the world on Christmas Eve? What exactly does Santa Claus do?

[Santa Claus]

You said right after. So obviously we established that I do spin class and I am the king of it.

And you know, I'm part of the peloton fam. You know, I don't know if they're sponsor yours or not yet, but I mean, probably going to be after this. But you know, I mean, I jump in the hot tub afterwards.

I mean, I live in the North Pole, man.

[Jeremy Odom]

Yeah, that's a great place to be right after.

[Santa Claus]

Ever sat in a hot tub?

[Jeremy Odom]

Are you like a one seater, cold two seater? Is Mrs. Claus in there with you?

[Santa Claus]

What are you trying to imply?

[Jeremy Odom]

I'm just asking if she gets to enjoy the fruits of your labor.

[Santa Claus]

The fruits of my labor? Let's just say she enjoys plenty. But there is nothing, there is nothing more pleasant than pouring yourself a glass of champagne, sitting in a hot tub when it is zero degrees outside and just watching the condensation form to ice on the side of your glass.

[Jeremy Odom]

That does sound like that to me.

[Santa Claus]

That to me is a job well done.

[Sponsor Voice]

Support for the show comes from Public, the investing platform for those who take it seriously. On Public, you can build a multi asset portfolio of stocks, bonds, options, crypto and now generated assets which allow you to turn any idea into an investable index with AI. It all starts with your prompt. From renewable energy companies with high free cash flow to semiconductor suppliers growing revenue over 20% year over year, you can literally type any prompt and put the AI to work. It screens thousands of stocks, builds a one of a kind index and lets you back test it against the S&P 500. Then you can invest in a few clicks. Generated assets are like EFTs with infinite possibilities, completely customizable and based on your thesis, not someone else's. Go to public.com podcast and earn an uncanny 1% bonus when you transfer your portfolio. That's public.com podcast paid for by Public Investing Brokerage Services by Open to the Public Investing Inc. Member finra SIPC Advisory Services by Public Advisors, LLC SEC Registered Advisor Generated Assets is an interactive analysis tool. Output is for informational purposes only and is not investment recommendation or advice. Complete disclosures [e-mail] Disclosures Hey, I'm Frank.

[Jeremy Odom]

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[Jeremy Odom]

This episode of Laugh With Me is brought to you by Amazon's ability to.

[Co-host or Guest]

Know exactly what you're thinking and what you want in this moment isn't it weird how sometimes you'll just mention something and then the next thing you know, you're getting like, sponsored ads and are coming up in your timeline and all your apps and it's like, oh, shoot. Yeah, I was just thinking about that. Yeah, it's not by accident. Amazon actually knows exactly what you want, when you want it, and how you want it. Just give it a chance. Give it a try. Amazon knows if you are in the business for a can of refried beans, that they'll have refried beans in your cart ready to go. And if you just asked Alexa, hey, tell me what I need right now without saying anything before it, she will actually have an entire list in your cart. And all you have to do is hit send and those goods will come to you within 63 minutes. Yes, Amazon can now get you anything you're thinking about in your cart and into your home within 63 minutes. This kind of technology, number one, can't be done by Santa Claus. Takes him an entire year and can't be done by any other business in the world. They have figured out how to know exactly what you're thinking and what you're gonna need a good 14 days and a half in advance. Just think, hey, it's the beginning of December. I know that. You know, probably Christmas Day.

[Jeremy Odom]

I'm gonna want a prime rib.

[Co-host or Guest]

Amazon already knows. They already have a cart set up that when you go into your cart, it has a separate tab, and that's your three weeks down the line tab. It knows what you're gonna need in approximately 24 days. It's kind of like an Advent calendar, except for what you're gonna need. There's different tabs for every day of the month. Just check it out. Amazon has everything. Mr. Bezos, he's on to something.

[Jeremy Odom]

Well, at least the developers for Bezos is.

[Co-host or Guest]

I don't think he's the brain behind the operation. My bad, buddy, if you are. But I just don't believe that he's sitting around coming up with all these genius ideas. I do not buy it. But he's a proud sponsor of Laugh With Me. And we want to thank you to Amazon and all their brilliant people for coming up with knowing exactly what we're.

[Jeremy Odom]

Thinking about and what we need in every waking moment.

[Co-host or Guest]

Now, back to the episode.

[Jeremy Odom]

We've got Satan Nicholas here live from the North Pole. He's fresh off a spin class talking to us about Christmas Eve. So has the naughty list ever been wrong? Like, I know you got the good list, the naughty list. Have you ever Gotten it wrong.

[Santa Claus]

That I've admitted to.

[Jeremy Odom]

Those poor kids, the ones who end up on the Naughty List, and they wake up Christmas morning and they get cold. I mean, look what you've done.

[Santa Claus]

So.

So, you know, I will admit to the disaster of 2018. I fully admit to it. I accept that I was wrong. I. I tried to make it up to people.

And I'm sorry. I'm sorry about that year.

[Jeremy Odom]

You know, a lot of people blamed Donald Trump for that, and it was actually Santa Claus.

[Santa Claus]

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

I. I accept the blame for AI.

I should not have automated the Naughty List. And that. That falls back on me. That was unprepared to filter through the people like I thought that they should. And I have corrected that, but I.

Do not accept personal responsibility for it.

[Jeremy Odom]

Man. Father Christmas here spilling his guts on the failed attempt to use AI to determine the Naughty List. So, coal for the naughty boys and girls around the world. I mean, where the hell are you getting all this coal? North Pole does not seem like a coal mine.

[Santa Claus]

I'm sorry. The question was on coal.

[Jeremy Odom]

Yes. Where are you getting all this coal.

[Santa Claus]

From the ground in the North Pole? Well, I mean, it's in the ground.

All over, so, I mean, it's. It's dinosaur bones.

[Jeremy Odom]

You got the elves working on this? I mean, I guess. What kind of operation are you running there for the coal?

[Santa Claus]

I'm really getting uncomfortable with where this interview is heading.

[Jeremy Odom]

So you.

[Santa Claus]

Let's just say. Let's just say I have my means to extract the coal that is in the ground. Anybody to pick up. We are so blessed into people's stockings.

[Jeremy Odom]

So blessed to have the ash man here talking Christmas 2018.

[Santa Claus]

Now you've got coal since then.

[Jeremy Odom]

So. Kris Kringle, I just. I gotta know. I mean, you've had a lot of time in your hands. I know you're. It's a long year getting to this point. I'm sure you've got time to watch some movies. Have you seen anything new lately?

[Santa Claus]

I watched Napoleon last night.

[Jeremy Odom]

Yeah? What'd you think?

[Santa Claus]

Didn't have much of a Christmas spirit to it.

[Jeremy Odom]

Were you expecting Napoleon to have a holiday flair?

[Santa Claus]

Well, I mean, a movie comes out on Thanksgiving.

We all know that once the Thanksgiving meal is consumed, that it's my season. Yeah, well, that it's Christmas season.

I never pursued to put myself above the season. I mean, I am kind of the main event.

[Jeremy Odom]

But, you know, I mean, I will say you've had some competition as of late, you know, and I don't Want to take away from the Napoleon movie, but Mariah Carey is kind of claiming your fame right now.

[Santa Claus]

You know, actually, I'm not afraid of Mariah Carey. I was more annoyed about was when.

I was watching the Napoleon movie. Every time it hit a quiet spot.

[Jeremy Odom]

Yeah.

[Santa Claus]

I could hear all this music going on, and I didn't understand it.

And then it hit me about halfway through. Beyonce.

[Jeremy Odom]

Beyonce? Yep, the new Beyonce movie.

[Santa Claus]

You know what's frustrating? Being a public figure?

[Jeremy Odom]

What's that?

[Santa Claus]

I could do, like, I. I can't. I can't put myself against Beyonce. Have you. I mean, you've seen that. You've seen the Beehive.

[Jeremy Odom]

You know, you. One would think the Father Christmas would be able to get a private showing of a movie and not have to worry about this. I'm just saying. I'm just keeping it real.

[Santa Claus]

I told. I told Johnny to bring that up.

[Jeremy Odom]

Johnny. I'm just proud of the guy for booking one of the biggest guests we've ever, ever had here on Laugh With Me.

[Santa Claus]

And that is the biggest.

[Jeremy Odom]

The biggest, fattest, jolliest fella you can find. And that is Santa Claus.

[Santa Claus]

What?

Like, I'm doing a spin class.

[Jeremy Odom]

Well, that'll help riding a bike. So I. I have to wonder, do you do the spin class all year long just to help you get in shape so that you can eat cookies at every home you visit on Christmas Eve?

[Santa Claus]

Oh. Oh, you got me. You got me. You got me.

[Jeremy Odom]

Different than you. Oh, I figured.

[Santa Claus]

Any different than the people that, you know, I'm just. I'm just a normal guy. I got a whole bunch of elves.

[Jeremy Odom]

I gotta ask you, while. While I got you on the line, still covet Christmas? What was that like? Did you have different protocols at the shop?

[Santa Claus]

That's what the beard's for.

[Jeremy Odom]

That was a beard. The beer. The beard blocked the COVID from you. You.

[Santa Claus]

Yeah, yeah. I mean, I've been through this before.

[Jeremy Odom]

I love it. Did. Did you have it? All right, so the beard protected you when you were in the homes as well, I'm. I'm assuming.

[Santa Claus]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, I mean, the rest, well, I'm not too concerned about.

[Jeremy Odom]

Yeah, yeah, I could see that. Okay, Santa, this is the part of the show where I work out new joke ideas. I've never worked. Worked this joke on stage before, so I'm giving it to you for the first time. And then feel free to laugh. Okay. Feel free to give me your comments. Okay. Some good feedback. Okay. Los Angeles is starting to paint many streets white. Like, the higher Reflectivity would reduce city summer temperatures by up to 10 degrees Fahrenheit. I saw that. Actually, I read it, and I thought, that's great. I've never thought of that. And my wife instantly was like, yeah, because all those sleepless, sleepless nights trying to solve global warming. That's the. That's the punchline.

[Santa Claus]

No. Whoa. Quite the sense of humor. Do we. You're a really big boy.

[Jeremy Odom]

Really big boy. What is that?

[Santa Claus]

What do you want for Christmas?

[Jeremy Odom]

Oh, man. How about this one? I'm getting old, and I'm at the point now where, you know, the old. That, you know, like your dad would tell you, just doesn't fly anymore. Like, back in my day, you know, he can't run that by me anymore. Back in my day, he would say he played outside all day and night, and my kids don't. And that's because, dad. We also did our research. We found out there's people out there raping kids.

[Santa Claus]

Ho, ho.

[Jeremy Odom]

Santa, do you have any jokes to work out for the people?

[Santa Claus]

Never did.

[Jeremy Odom]

Never need them. That's true. You got the classic go to the ho, ho, ho and a bottle of rum. You know, like a pirate.

[Santa Claus]

Yeah.

[Jeremy Odom]

Are you okay over there, Santa?

[Santa Claus]

That second joke is horrible. Don't ever air that. That's bad.

[Jeremy Odom]

I was gonna air it. I guess I was never using it on stage.

[Santa Claus]

Well, that one. That one. You just need to do the ho, ho, ho.

[Jeremy Odom]

Yeah, just. And end the episode there. Ho, ho, ho. Okay.

[Santa Claus]

Well.

[Jeremy Odom]

We had the Ash Man, Kris Kringle, Father Christmas, Papa Noel, Ashman, Noel Baba, Santa Claus. We had him here just weeks before the big Christmas Eve. He's doing spin classes. So we. You know, a lot of times, this is where people promote, like, you know, maybe something they have coming up. Obviously, you have Christmas Eve coming up. Is there anywhere else people can find you?

[Santa Claus]

No, not.

[Jeremy Odom]

Not at your local malls and local grocery stores and maybe.

[Santa Claus]

Oh, no, no. Oh, no, no. Talk to me. Don't walk up to me. Don't call my attention. Flap the table when I walk by you.

[Jeremy Odom]

Oh, no.

[Santa Claus]

I want to live my normal life.

[Jeremy Odom]

I've never heard of Santa not wanting attention, but here we are. We've got to that point.

[Santa Claus]

I was sorry for 2018. I don't know what else you want from me.

[Jeremy Odom]

I'm not blaming you for 2018. I just thought it needed addressed.

[Santa Claus]

The algorithm decides what you guys get, not what you wanted. Well, it's not what you deserved.

[Jeremy Odom]

Oh, no.

[Santa Claus]

All right. So alone. I'm gonna be doing my spin classes I'm gonna be going in the hot tub with Mrs. Claus.

[Jeremy Odom]

Okay, that's good. I want to know that, you know.

[Santa Claus]

I'm going to be drinking some champagne. I'm going to be letting my glass frost up.

Why does it have to be a big deal? Why am I responsible for your happiness this time of season?

[Jeremy Odom]

You are a big deal.

[Santa Claus]

I know.

[Jeremy Odom]

You're killing me. Did you give me Covid for Christmas? I am coughing.

[Santa Claus]

I gave you continents. I gave you the ability to poop.

[Jeremy Odom]

Yeah, I know. And I feel it.

[Santa Claus]

Wanted.

[Jeremy Odom]

I feel it every day. Every single day, whether I want it or not. Sometimes at the most missed, like, inopportune moments.

[Santa Claus]

Sometimes Christmas comes at the most inopportune moments.

[Jeremy Odom]

What? Christmas comes December 25th every year.

[Santa Claus]

Well, sometimes you don't expect it.

[Jeremy Odom]

It happens every year. It's. There's no surprises.

[Santa Claus]

Sometimes Christmas is its own surprise. Little boy Jesus.

[Jeremy Odom]

Okay, thank you Santa for coming on the show, taking your time, enjoy your spin class and tell Mrs. Claus I said hi. She'll know what that means.

[Santa Claus]

Oh, well, thank you, Jeremy. But a special thank you to you, Johnny Wink Wink.

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[Jeremy Odom]

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[Jeremy Odom]

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