Law Enforcement Talk: True Crime and Trauma Stories

Episode: A Stranger Saved a Retired NYPD Officer's Life on Christmas Eve
Host: John "Jay" Wiley
Guest: Dean Simpson (Retired NYPD officer & author)
Date: December 7, 2025

Episode Overview

This episode centers on the harrowing personal journey of Dean Simpson, a retired NYPD officer who survived being shot in the line of duty, only to face deeper challenges with trauma, depression, and life after service. On Christmas Eve, a chance encounter with a stranger played a pivotal role in saving his life from the brink of suicide. Host John "Jay" Wiley guides the conversation, offering insight from his own law enforcement background, and the two men share a raw, moving exploration of trauma, recovery, and hope.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

Becoming an NYPD Officer – Family, Calling, and Early Lessons

• Dean grew up in a police family; inspired by his father’s service, he saw policing as a calling.
  • "Seeing my father in uniform, hearing his stories, when I was young, it was something that from an early age, I knew this is where I wanted to go." – Dean (03:29)
• Assigned to midtown Manhattan (the "crown jewel" of NYPD commands), thanks in part to his father’s influence.
• Early police life was full of camaraderie and excitement, but the trauma of policing set in quickly:
  • First exposure to fatality and tragedy came on the last day of rookie duty—discovering fingernail marks where victims tried to escape a fire. (06:57)
• Constant exposure to death, isolation, and despair among city dwellers left a lasting psychological mark.
  • "So many people, at least my experience on police work, live a horribly isolated life. They die alone and they suffer tremendously before they do." – John (08:35)

The Shooting – A Routine Day Turns Deadly

[13:15–19:47]

• Dean transferred to a solo highway patrol detail for his own ethical peace, escaping corruption he’d observed in his squad.
• On the day of the incident, he noticed two suspicious men in an otherwise quiet park. Instinct told him something was off.
  • "You never know. I mean, it could be in the most innocent of places. For me, there was a lot of irony in how everything just came to be on that day." – Dean (13:15)
• He approached them; one attacker charged him, and a violent struggle over a gun ensued.
  • "You can't lose this fight. You lose the fight, there's a good chance you're gonna lose your life." – Dean (18:13)
• Ultimately kneed in the chest during the fight, Dean was left unable to breathe, helpless on the ground, and at his assailant’s mercy.
• "It's a very... something that gave me nightmares for a long time afterwards, because you just felt that feeling of helplessness." – Dean (18:54)

Aftermath of the Shooting – Physical and Psychological Fallout

[23:02–28:59]

• Realization he’d been shot in the hand came only after the adrenaline wore off, and a fellow officer checked him.
  • "I see this blood coming out of it, and I'm like, oh. And I was like, yeah, I guess that's where the round went." – Dean (23:47)
• The injuries, while not life-threatening, disrupted his career and way of life.
• Dean faced bureaucratic indifference from police administration—fighting for proper medical treatment and being pressured to return to work prematurely.
  • "There was just a lack of compassion... and it just seemed like everywhere after that point, there was a battle and... frustration; the days just got darker." – Dean (27:25)
• He describes the emotional collapse that followed: frayed identity, loss of purpose, and his anchor gone.
• Support from family and a rare apology from a supervisor helped, but isolation and trauma deepened.
  • "If I did something, just pull me inside, tell me what has to... You want to reprimand me, fine, but don't strip me down in front of everybody." – Dean (29:38)

Trauma, 9/11, and the Downward Spiral

[34:19–37:18]

• After retirement, Dean grappled with depression, drinking, and profound loneliness.
• The 9/11 attacks offered a temporary sense of mission—he volunteered at Ground Zero—but after the work dwindled, so did his sense of purpose.

Christmas Eve Crisis – How a Stranger Changed Everything

[37:18–41:01]

• On December 23rd, at his lowest ebb, Dean planned to end his life at a tranquil spot he’d once promised to visit.
  • "By the time I got home, I said, I don't want to live." – Dean (37:18)
• On the train upstate, he encountered an elderly woman who, despite his initial desire to be left alone, insisted on conversation.
  • He told her, "Probably the thing I like most about [the city] is, you know, there's 8 million people and I can go days without speaking with anybody... just being left alone." – Dean (38:24)
• The stranger offered him a note about hope and kindness, reflecting on her own losses.
  • "Here's a person that, probably an hour and a half before, I just would have done anything to be away from her. And now she's probably the closest person I have in my life at that moment." – Dean (39:37)
• The note and her presence snapped him from the brink, making him reconsider ending his life.

The Road to Recovery – Rediscovering Purpose

[41:01–42:07]

• Inspired by the stranger’s kindness, Dean resolved to battle his alcoholism and devote himself to helping others.
  • "If you concentrate on yourself, you're going to be depressed and you're going to be so consumed that you're not going to look at the rest of the world. And that's just not a good way to live." – Dean (40:39)
• Decided to write, volunteer, and reconnect with community as antidotes to isolation.

Writing and Sharing the Story

[41:06–42:55]

• Years later, with his wife’s encouragement, Dean penned The Blue Pawn: A Memoir of an NYPD Foot Soldier, using his experience to shed light on trauma and resilience in law enforcement lives.
  • "If not now, when? Tell your story." – Dean’s wife, prompting him to write (41:47)
• He also highlighted his wife’s children’s book and the pride he felt at her U.S. naturalization ceremony.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

"Don't try to make sense out of things that make no sense at all because you will drive yourself insane."
— John "Jay" Wiley (10:01)

"You can't lose this fight. You lose the fight, there's a good chance you're gonna lose your life."
— Dean Simpson (18:13)

"I mean, it was almost a diversion... there were times I was so off at the brass that I was forgetting that I nearly got killed."
— Dean Simpson (28:03)

"I knew I was in trouble, but, you know, I. I don't know what it is I would be praying for."
— Dean Simpson (36:37)

"Here's a person that probably an hour and a half before, I just would have done anything to be away from her. And now she's probably the closest person I have in my life at that moment."
— Dean Simpson (39:37)

"Life’s a gift. And I think that’s something we forget... when you’re in the darkness, it’s very difficult to turn around and be appreciative."
— Dean Simpson (40:06)

Important Timestamps

• 03:29 — Dean describes growing up in a police family and the impact of his father.
• 06:57 — Encountering tragedy and its early impacts (fingernails at a fire scene).
• 13:15 — Lead-up to the day Dean was shot.
• 18:13 — Dean’s description of fighting for his life over the gun.
• 23:47 — Realizing he’s been shot.
• 27:25 — The mounting challenges of bureaucracy and loss of identity.
• 34:19 — The spiral after leaving the force and post-9/11 period.
• 37:18 — Suicidal crisis and setting out for the mountains.
• 39:37 — Train encounter with a stranger who alters the course of his life.
• 41:01 — Dean's realization on the mountain, beginning the road to recovery.
• 41:47 — The encouragement to write his book.

Resources Mentioned

• Books by Dean Simpson:
  • The Blue Pawn: A Memoir of an NYPD Foot Soldier
  • Godless vs Liberty: The Radical Left's Quest to Destroy America's Judeo-Christian Foundation
  • Both available on Amazon, some at Barnes & Noble.
• Children's Book: Gardenia’s Garden by Dean’s wife (for parents of young daughters, immigration story).

Takeaways

• Trauma in law enforcement extends far beyond physical injuries; system failures and lack of support compound the problem.
• Kindness and connection—even from strangers—can be transformational and lifesaving.
• Recovery demands both self-acknowledgment of pain and purpose-driven action, often found in helping others.
• Sharing personal stories is essential for breaking the stigma of police trauma and providing hope to others.

For more, visit letradio.com or find Dean's books online.