From Combat Injured Military Veteran to Police Officer

Summary

Law Enforcement Talk: True Crime and Trauma Stories Episode: From Combat Injured Military Veteran to Police Officer Host: John "Jay" Wiley Guest: Dexter Pitts Release Date: August 13, 2025

In this compelling episode of Law Enforcement Talk: True Crime and Trauma Stories, host John "Jay" Wiley engages in an intimate and profound conversation with Dexter Pitts, a combat-wounded Iraq War veteran and dedicated police officer with the Louisville Police Department. Dexter’s journey from the battlefields of Iraq to the streets of Louisville is a testament to resilience, courage, and the enduring human spirit.

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1. Introduction to Dexter Pitts

John Wiley opens the episode by introducing Dexter Pitts, highlighting his dual role as a military veteran and a police officer. Dexter is also the author of "I Am Pitts: Memoirs of an American Patriot" and the host of his own podcast, "I Am Pitts." The introduction sets the stage for a deep dive into Dexter’s multifaceted life experiences, both harrowing and inspiring.

Quote:

"He is a combat wounded military veteran. He is also an active duty law enforcement officer... He's here to talk about that, the impact on him, his recovery, his book and his podcast." (00:00)

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2. Love for Service and Early Challenges

Dexter shares his profound love for both his military and law enforcement careers, despite the immense challenges. He candidly discusses the emotional toll of serving and the initial struggles he faced when transitioning from the military to policing.

Quote:

"It's a tough job. I did it and I know exactly how it is." – Dexter Pitts (01:46)

3. Combat Injury and Its Aftermath

A pivotal moment in Dexter’s life was the severe injury he sustained during his deployment in Iraq. He recounts the harrowing details of the explosive device that destroyed his Humvee, resulting in significant physical injuries and near-death experiences.

Quote:

"We got parked on top of 2155 artillery shells packed with C4. And so that blew our Humvee in half, pretty much." – Dexter Pitts (05:07)

Dexter describes his arduous recovery process, including multiple surgeries and rehabilitation, emphasizing the physical and emotional scars left by his combat experience.

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4. Transition to Law Enforcement

Despite his injuries, Dexter pursued a career in law enforcement. He discusses the challenges during the police academy, particularly how his physical limitations almost prevented him from joining the force. His perseverance and faith played crucial roles in overcoming these obstacles.

Quote:

"They looked at me, they said, well, you can't do the sit ups... So they let me go through the test and I prayed about it. Next thing you know, they said, we'll hire you." – Dexter Pitts (08:23)

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5. Personal Tragedy: Mother’s Suicide

Shortly after completing his field training, Dexter faced a devastating personal tragedy—the suicide of his mother, which was a result of prolonged domestic violence. This traumatic event plunged him into a deep emotional crisis, leading to suicidal thoughts and a subsequent breakdown.

Quote:

"I had to make the call to take my mother off life support. And this is how I started my career." – Dexter Pitts (16:00)

John Wiley empathizes with Dexter, acknowledging the indescribable pain of such personal loss and its impact on his professional life.

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6. Battling PTSD and Breakdown

Dexter candidly discusses his struggle with Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) following his mother’s death and his combat injuries. He recounts how the accumulation of trauma led to a breakdown, necessitating a 30-day hiatus from duty to recuperate.

Quote:

"I was having suicidal thoughts... My chain of command steps in and save me." – Dexter Pitts (18:11)

Dexter emphasizes the importance of having a support system within the force that recognized his distress and intervened, highlighting the critical role of mental health support in law enforcement.

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7. The Role of Support Systems

A recurring theme in Dexter’s story is the vital role of peers and superiors in his recovery. He credits his partner, Beth Lankford, and his sergeant, Kevin Trees, for their unwavering support and intervention during his darkest moments.

Quote:

"She looked at me and saw I was not okay. I tried to tell her I was okay, but she was like, no, you're not okay." – Dexter Pitts (19:08)

Dexter underscores the importance of mutual support and the "squad concept" in law enforcement, where officers look out for each other's well-being.

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8. Coping with the Loss of a Partner

The recent loss of Dexter’s police partner, Officer Zach Cottingen, adds another layer of trauma to his already complex emotional landscape. Dexter discusses the profound impact of losing a close colleague and friend, navigating the grief while continuing his duty.

Quote:

"Losing somebody that you're on shift with... it's not going to be something you recover from overnight." – Dexter Pitts (26:47)

He reflects on the enduring nature of grief and the ongoing necessity for time and support to heal from such losses.

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9. Managing PTSD and Finding Purpose

Dexter shares his journey towards managing PTSD through writing and public speaking. His book and podcast serve as therapeutic outlets, allowing him to unload his emotional baggage and help others facing similar struggles.

Quote:

"Writing was my therapy... it makes me feel so much better now." – Dexter Pitts (35:29)

Dexter highlights the importance of finding purpose and staying engaged in meaningful work as a way to cope with trauma and prevent the mind from dwelling on past hardships.

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10. Advocacy for Mental Health in Law Enforcement

Throughout the episode, Dexter advocates for changing the old-school mentality of "toughing it out" in law enforcement. He stresses the need for open conversations about mental health and the importance of seeking help when needed.

Quote:

"Once we can get rid of that [suffering alone], we can save more officers' lives and provide the people we serve a better quality product as well." – Dexter Pitts (40:26)

Dexter’s advocacy underscores the critical need for systemic changes to support the mental well-being of law enforcement officers.

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11. Conclusion and Call to Action

John Wiley wraps up the episode by expressing deep gratitude to Dexter Pitts for sharing his powerful story. He encourages listeners to seek support, foster strong community bonds, and prioritize mental health both within and outside law enforcement.

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Key Takeaways:

• Resilience and Perseverance: Dexter’s journey exemplifies overcoming extreme adversity through resilience and faith.
• Importance of Support Systems: Peer and supervisory support is crucial in managing trauma and preventing burnout in high-stress professions.
• Mental Health Advocacy: Open conversations and systemic support for mental health are essential in law enforcement and military communities.
• Using Personal Experiences for Healing: Writing and public speaking can serve as therapeutic tools for individuals dealing with trauma.

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Resources Mentioned:

• Book: I Am Pitts: Memoirs of an American Patriot – I am Pitts.com
• Podcast: I Am Pitts – Available on Apple, Spotify, Google Podcasts, and Amazon
• Host Contact: [e-mail]
• Website: letradio.com

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Transcript

[John J. Wiley]

He is a combat wounded military veteran. He is also an active duty law enforcement officer. His mother, early in his career in law enforcement, died by suicide as a result of domestic violence. He's encountered trauma after trauma, both personally and his professional life. He's here to talk about that, the impact on him, his recovery, his book and his podcast. Welcome to the Law Enforcement Talk Radio Show. In the Law Enforcement Talk Radio show, we are joined by special guests talking about their experiences, their realities of investigating crimes, plus those have experienced horrendous trauma. Police, first responders, military and victims of crime share their stories. Hi, I'm John J. Wiley. In addition to being a broadcaster, I'm also a retired police sergeant. Be sure to check out our website, letradio.com and also like us on Facebook, Search for the Law Enforcement Talk Radio Show. Of all the radio stations in the United States, there are no other shows like the Law Enforcement Talk Radio show. And on Facebook there is only one official page. Do a search on Facebook for the Law Enforcement Talk radio show and be sure to like the Law Enforcement Talk Radio show Facebook page. Calling us from Kentucky, we have Dexter Pitts on the phone. Dexter is a law enforcement officer from the Louisville Police Department. I know I said that wrong because I'm not from there and I just can't pronounce it the right way. He's also an Iraq War veteran and author of the book I Am Pitts Memoirs of an American Patriot. And also his podcast is called I Am Pitts. Dexter, thanks so much for being on the show. Very much appreciated.

[Dexter Pitts]

John, thanks for having me on the show. I really appreciate it.

[John J. Wiley]

First of all, before I forget, thank you for your service, not just in the military, which is greatly appreciated, but also in the police department. It's a tough job. I did it and I know exactly how it is. And I'm the first one to forget to say thank you.

[Dexter Pitts]

Well, I appreciate it, you know, thank you for your service as well. You know, and I tell people all the time, it's absolutely my pleasure. You know, somebody has to do it right now.

[John J. Wiley]

And I loved the job until it didn't love me the way I loved it. The truth is I got hurt and retired young. I loved every minute of it. Let me rephrase that. I loved 95% of it. I love the service. I love working for people. I hate to say this, I actually liked the violence I must have because I was addicted to it. However, when I got hurt and then got retired, Dexter, it was the best, worst day of my life.

[Dexter Pitts]

Oh, I Can absolutely say that. You know, it's this. I tell people this job, you love this job, but it really does not love you back. It does not redeposit much into you. But you have to look at what you're putting into other people, what you're putting into the community. And I heard this saying the other day that sometimes you got to plant trees that you won't be able to. Able to enjoy the shade of, and you got to plant trees for everybody else to enjoy the shade down the line. And so that's kind of what I'm trying to do now, especially with the way the country is. You know, there has to be somebody here to hold the line. Yes, I could leave. I could probably go do something else. But at the end of the day, I really believe in this job. I believe in our country. I believe in the Constitution. Even the people that have said the worst things to me the last few years during the riots and protests, that's their right to do so. You know, there's a certain way to go about things and do things. And some of the things they say are criminal because they're violent, you know, they're threatening. But at the end of the day, if you don't like a cop, you want to tell a cop you don't like them, you should absolutely have a right to. And that's what I fought for in the Middle east, that's what everybody has fought for since the inception of America, is for people to have these inalienable rights, and that is the freedom of speech and freedom to gather and protest. But like I said, has to be done the right way. We've not been doing it the right way here in this country for the last few years. Unfortunately, no, we haven't.

[John J. Wiley]

And that's something we could talk about at length, and it's easy to get into that. But what would be missing is your story. And one of the things that I really want to do is be able to talk about your story and provide a platform. And you're absolutely right about it 100%. I fully support people's right to free speech. And they could tell me all day long they hate me. And I had nice responses to that. A lot of times they didn't like it, but I had the same right to free speech as well. So your career. How long have you been policing now?

[Dexter Pitts]

I've been policing now a total of about 12, 13 years.

[John J. Wiley]

So you're running the edge of really being a salty veteran, where you're like, you get grouchy Irritable and discontented. Do you have to find yourself fighting that urge?

[Dexter Pitts]

I do. I find it a lot more now. But I'll be honest. Being around a lot of the younger officers constantly reminds me of why I signed up to do the job. And it just, you know, it reignites that flame that I need.

[John J. Wiley]

Before we get into your police career, which is extensive, I want to talk about your career in the military. You served in Iraq, correct?

[Dexter Pitts]

Correct.

[John J. Wiley]

And you were wounded in combat.

[Dexter Pitts]

Yes, sir.

[John J. Wiley]

A lot of times, people don't get a chance to talk to people, but here's something I say all the time. Dexter. It's so easy to fall into this trap of being hypercritical and judgmental of people. The person standing in front of you in line at the grocery store, the checkout, you don't know what they've been through. That could be a walking, talking hero. And in your case, you were injured, and you had to go through extensive recovery.

[Dexter Pitts]

Yes, sir. Yes, I did. Yeah. January 2nd of 2005. Abu Ghraib, Iraq. And I'm sure people remember Abu Ghraib from the news. That's where we had the prisoners. And the US Soldiers were not taking care of the prisoners properly. And that really angered the people in Iraq. And so when my unit, Alpha Company 214 of the 10th Mountain Division, rolled into town, we were not liked. And then on the night of January 2, 2005, we parked our Humvee on the side of the road. Well, we had been there three days before in that same spot. And I tell people, it's so weird. Your sixth sense. You know when something's not right. You know when somebody is watching you. I had that feeling all day. And when we parked in that spot that night, I knew things were not going to be okay. Lo and behold, we got parked on top of 2155 artillery shells packed with C4. And so that blew our Humvee in half, pretty much. And it was literally right up under my driver's seat where I was sitting at. I was knocked unconscious. I mean, my left arm was pretty much shattered. My hip to back were blown out of alignment. I had my molars blown out. And as I mentioned, I took a real bad hit to the side of the head because I took my helmet off while I was sitting inside the Humvee. So I get medevac to the combat support hospital in Baghdad at the Green Zone. And from there, I get flown to Landstuhl, Germany, where I have my first surgery. And the doctors do their best to piece my Arm back together. From there, I go to Walter Reed, and I have two stints in Walter Reed that were three months long. And I went to endure, I think it was roughly about 12 surgeries. I had a metal rod put in my arm, but what almost killed me was a staph infection. I was about to go home, but my arm had swelled up like four or five times the size. And if you looked at my arm, I could probably. That's how sensitive it was, like just touching it and it was hot. And the doctor says, you get on that plane, you're going to be dead within a matter of hours. And so that's when they started my irrigation and debris and surgeries going in and washing out the infection. And they were worried that the infection had actually already gotten into my bloodstream, was going towards my heart. But thank goodness they caught it early enough. So I go through all that and rehab, learning how to use my left arm again. And what you're saying about people being normal in the store, in real life, you're not noticing anything about them? Well, if you look at me on the outside, you say, hey, he walks a little funny and his arm hangs a little funny. But no, you wouldn't know what that was from. But yeah, my left arm is pretty much stuck at a 90 degree angle and I have a little hitch in my walk when I walk from the blast and how it, what it did to my back and my hips. But lo and behold, I've never used any of that as an excuse. And so when I went to apply for the police department, they were looking at me like, no, we don't know if this is going to work.

[John J. Wiley]

And the truth is, years ago, when I was starting Dexter, you'd have been disqualified because of that.

[Dexter Pitts]

Oh, I believe it. Absolutely. They almost disqualified me, you know that? They looked at me, they said, well, you can't put your hand all the way behind your head to do the sit ups and you can't fully extend your left arm to do the push ups. So they let me go through the test and I don't know what happened, but I prayed about it. Next thing you know, they said, we'll hire you.

[John J. Wiley]

Well, I'm glad that happened. How old were you when, when you were blown up? For lack of better words, I was.

[Dexter Pitts]

20 years old, dude.

[John J. Wiley]

So young.

[Dexter Pitts]

Yes. You know, it's weird. I see 20 year olds now and 20 year olds look like little, little kids to me.

[John J. Wiley]

And ain't that the truth. My wife and I, we watch television, we watch these shows all the time we were watching the NFL the other day and my wife looks at me and she goes, he looks like he's 12. How can he be a pro football player?

[Dexter Pitts]

I'm telling you, man, with age, everything looks a little different. When you look into the rear looking back over time, like, I see pictures of myself like, my God, oh, so young I was doing then, so young.

[John J. Wiley]

And you know, my hat's off to our military men and women and you know, our young rookie police as well. It's so easy to fall in trap of calling people millennials, gen X, gen Y, whatever gen it is, and they're this or that. Truth is, they're some of the toughest, most determined people I've ever met. This is the Law Enforcement Show. We're going to turn our conversation with Dexter Pitts in just a moment. There's so much more coming your way. Don't go anywhere. We'll be right back. There's a couple ways you can stay in touch and keep informed of what's going on with the law enforcement talk radio show. Number one, go to our website letradio.com sign up for our email newsletter. It's real easy to find. I promise we don't spam you. I sent out about one email every every two weeks or so. And there's also a feature called Broadcast Channels on our Facebook page where we send messages directly to your inbox, directly to your messenger. Real easy to sign up for. Make sure you like. Or follow the law enforcement talk radio Show Facebook page. And up top you'll see Broadcast Channels one for free podcast versions of the radio show. Another one top post of the day so you too can stay informed quickly, easily and best of all, like always free. Mmm. Oh, whatcha eating?

[Dexter Pitts]

The new banana split cookie from AM pm. All freshly baked with real butter with banana, chocolate and strawberry flavors.

[John J. Wiley]

Ah, that sounds amazing.

[Dexter Pitts]

Can I have a bite? I'm sorry, but no. But you can't split the banana split. Not even a little. Not even a crumb. What if.

[John J. Wiley]

No, please.

[Dexter Pitts]

Mine when it's too legit to split. That's cravenience. Get a 3 pack for 99 cents with our app ampm.

[John J. Wiley]

Too much good stuff.

[Dexter Pitts]

Plus tax where applicable. Prices and participation may vary in terms.

[John J. Wiley]

Of conditions of place.

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[John J. Wiley]

Return to conversation with Dexter Pitts calling us from Kentucky. He is a Louisville Police Department police officer. He's also a United States military veteran, combat veteran, served in Iraq. And before we went to the break, you talked about the explosive device that blew up your Humvee and you were severely injured. And that's the type of explosion where lots of people are killed. So I kind of feel honored that I get to talk with you on the show because I know may sound dramatic. You're walking, talking miracle that you're alive and be able to have this conversation.

[Dexter Pitts]

You know, that's it's been almost been 17 years and you know, I still question and wonder, ask God, like, why am I still here?

[John J. Wiley]

Obviously there's a reason for you to be here.

[Dexter Pitts]

There's clearly there is. You know, I know so many good young men and women, military and law enforcement wise, that are no longer here. And one thing I always ask is, God, why have you given me 17 additional years? But some of my buddies never got that second chance. And that's part of that survivor's guilt that I will always carry with me. But I try to live my life in a way to honor those guys and make the time that I've extra time I've been given worth it.

[John J. Wiley]

I'm glad you said that because I've often questioned how did I make it? I'm scathed. I've got physical injuries. I got steel plates and other injuries you can't see. However, so many people didn't make it through the Baltimore Police Department or other departments that died in the line of duty. They were killed. And, you know, first I think I used to think, Dexter, maybe this was a survival mechanism. It's because I'm really good at what I do or whatever it might be. Then I realized as I get older, no, these guys were great police too. They had God on their side. They had everything. And they didn't live. And I did. And I don't know the reason why.

[Dexter Pitts]

Yeah, that's one. You know, my pastor has always told me he was like, some answers will never get down here. It's when, you know, we close our eyes and wake up on the other side. We'll learn why we're still here and what our apps know what our purpose was.

[John J. Wiley]

And I don't question it anymore. I just kind of accept that that's the way it is. You know, one of the hardest things for me was being hired as a police officer and then going through the academy and everything involved, the physical training, the books, law, police procedures, you name it. And every state's different. How challenging was it for you being in the academy, especially with your injuries from combat?

[Dexter Pitts]

So going to the academy for me was rough because just the sheer amount of time, when I went to army infantry boot camp, it was 14 weeks and done. I described the police academy as Groundhog Day. It was just almost the same thing over and over for 32 weeks. And then just constantly having, you know, they made me a squad leader. So for me, it was having to take care of myself, but also trying my best to take care of those in my squad. So that was a level of stress I was not used to because I wasn't a squad leader when I was in army. I was just a low level guy. You know, I was just a machine gunner. And somebody would always tell me where to go and what to do. And then when I get onto the police department and the academy, it's like, they tell you what to go, where to go, what to do, but to give you parameters where you can kind of do it yourself, and they're not necessarily watching you 100% and it's up to you to get the job done. So it was a challenge, but I made it through. And that's just because of sheer stubbornness. My wife will tell you that.

[John J. Wiley]

Well, one of the things I know from your story is that after graduating academy, being on the streets, your mom died.

[Dexter Pitts]

Yes, absolutely. Yeah. August 29th of 2010, I was actually done with my first phase of field training and I was reporting the next day to my new division, to the second division. But before that, I had to go work the Ironman detail. So I was out on the Ironman detail on the road, and I remember I got this phone call and I answered the phone and somebody says, this officer Dexter Pitts. I'm like, yes. And they tell me, your mother's been shot. You need to get to the hospital. And So I hang up the phone, thinking it's a prank. This person calls back again, and I pick up the phone on, hey, man, stop playing with me. This is not funny. Hang up the phone, calls back a third time. And that's when I'm like, well, maybe this is really something. And he tells me he's a detective from the Radcliffe Police Department. So my partners at the time get me in the car, we drive code three to University of Louisville Hospital. And I'm sitting there at my mother's bedside, and the one thing I remember is the brown paper bags on our hands to preserve evidence and the gauze wrapped around her head. Come to find out that her and my father were involved in a domestic violence incident. They were married for 28 years, but had recently divorced. And some sort of incident happened at the house. And the next thing you know, my father shows up at the police station covered in blood and has hot water thrown on him. And my mother is found in a car with a bullet wound through her head. And at the age of 26, I had to make the call to take my mother off life support. And this is how I started my career.

[John J. Wiley]

And there's. There's nothing I can say that will be adequate and accurate response. You and I both have gone through call after call after call where we've seen people that go through this, and there's just. There's no rhyme or reason to it. It's just horrific every time it happens. But I can't imagine this happening to you personally right after field training.

[Dexter Pitts]

Right after field training. You know what's worse? So I go through the rest of my training, and, you know, and I just kind of sweep it under the rug. Then I have a real bad breakdown at work, and I start having, you know, suicidal thoughts and whatnot. And my chain of command steps in and save me. And they send me away. They tell me, 30 days. Go away. Take care of yourself. And the crazy part, John, is when I came back to work after that 30 days, I was good and recharged and ready to go. My first call out the gate, first call for service is a suicide where a mother shot and killed herself in front of her family, her kids and her husband. And that was my first call.

[John J. Wiley]

I know how you handle it. Here's the reality of what you do. We have an idea of all the things we have to do, all the procedures, investigative techniques, all the things. Protect the crime scene, do all that stuff. And, yes, suicides are treated, at least in my department, like homicides until proven Otherwise, because you can't redo. So for me, quite often it was afterwards, especially, I tell people I cried many times in a patrol car. How were you when you had to deal with this right after returning from your breakdown?

[Dexter Pitts]

See, I thought I was good. But the good thing is I had a good partner. Her name is Beth Lankford. She's phenomenal. She's always had my back. She looked at me and saw I was not okay. I tried to tell her I was okay, but she was like, no, you're not okay. You need to leave, Dexter. And I took her advice and I left the best advice that she could have given me.

[John J. Wiley]

I tell people all the time, I'm okay. I'm fine. And what that really means is, I don't want to talk about it with you.

[Dexter Pitts]

Absolutely. We have this problem with a lot of military, a lot of veterans and a lot of officers. That old school mentality of, I'm okay, don't worry about me, I got this. And I tell people. The one thing that I love about cops, but also the thing I don't like is we can save the world and solve everybody else's problems. However, when it comes to our stuff and our problems, we can't save ourselves. We can step into your situation and, hey, this is what you need to do to fix this, this and that. But when we look at ourselves in the mirror, we can't fix ourselves.

[John J. Wiley]

We're talking with Dexter Pitts. Dexter is a police officer in Louisville, Kentucky police Department. He's also an Iraq war veteran injured in combat. We talked about that. We'll return that conversation shortly. Finishing field training. His mom died. Is it by suicide or is it domestic violence or. It doesn't really matter.

[Dexter Pitts]

It was suicide, but it was a result of years of domestic violence.

[John J. Wiley]

The term I've learned to use is died by suicide. Because so often we were taught to use the terms committed suicide, and that really doesn't do justice for what the people went through. Also, in my opinion, comes off rather judgmental. This is a law enforcement show. We're talking with Dexter Pitts. We have so much more to talk about. Believe me, you don't want to miss a moment of it, but take a short break. We'll be right back. I know we've all got lots of apps on our phone, but there's one you should check out, the Medium app, medium.com and be sure to follow the law enforcement talk radio show and podcast where you find great articles, blog posts from me on Medium. That's the law enforcement Talk radio show and podcast on the Medium app. Or you can go directly to medium.com.

[Dexter Pitts]

Foreign.

[John J. Wiley]

Conversation with Dexter Pitts. He is an Iraq War veteran injured in combat. Severely injured in combat. He's also a Louisville Police Department police officer. He is author of the book I Am Pitts Memoirs of an American Patriot. Love the title, by the way. And he is also podcaster. His podcast is called I Am Pittsburgh. Dexter. First of all, you've done so much, and I hate to use the word overcome because it's so overused and people use those. The reality is, if you're like me, you kind of learn to live with a lot of things and you find a way to live better. But they never really quite go away, do they?

[Dexter Pitts]

No, things never go away. I tell people, with time, pain lessens, but the pain is always still there. It's a reminder. We need that pain, though.

[John J. Wiley]

We do. And a great example is my father. He died of cancer a long, long time ago. And there's an old saying that time heals all wounds. And the reality is, in my case, it doesn't. What happens is I've grown more used to it. I learned how to deal with it better. And I guess you could say a lot of the same things about police work and all the violence and friends that were killed and being on scene when people took their last breath. All that stuff has a toll, takes a toll on you. Now your story, add into that your mom's suicide and your combat injuries, and I really don't know how you have managed to make it so far.

[Dexter Pitts]

You know, like most a lot of tough guys, you know, we put on the superhero cape and like I said, I can solve everybody else's problems, but because of a good chain of command and a good sergeant I had, people knew that I was not okay and they stepped in to help me. For example, in my book, how my book opens up, I talk about this traffic, traffic stop I had made in West Louisville where as I was walking up to the car, I was hoping that the person in the car had a gun and that they were going to jump out and shoot me and kill me because I did not have the courage to do it myself. Because I wanted to die. I just didn't want to do it in my own hand. And for me, I wanted to die a hero's death so that people were like, man, this was a great officer that was shot and killed, but the guy that killed him was a monster. But as I said, this guy wouldn't have been a monster to me. He would have been my hero. I wanted to die. I just didn't have the courage to do it myself. And I mean, I became reckless at work. I was going, you know, driving lights and sirens, not wearing seat belts. I mean, I had tombstone courage. I would go clear houses by myself, just trying to show how tough I was. And then it was not until I had an ab. An accidental discharge with my shotgun. When my sergeant, who's a former marine and he's got one leg, he lost his leg in a motorcycle accident. He came back. His name's Kevin Trees. That man saved my life. He pulled me aside one night at the gas station. We pulled up car to car, and he ripped into me. And I remember telling me, you were army infantry, combat wounded. How do you have a negligent discharge with a shotgun? And I had just been holding all this stuff in for months. I mean, I was going through a divorce at the time. My sister ran off with the life insurance policy. I. I literally had nothing or no one. And I thought nobody cared about me. And seeing him care so much about me made me realize I needed to get myself together and that there were people in this world that still cared about me. So that's when I hear this talk about black and white. When I think about my fellow veterans and I think about my fellow officers, they didn't care that I was black or white. I had a mostly white students man. But guess what? None of that mattered. They saw me as a good officer, and they pulled me aside and gathered together and loved on me and helped love me back to help, help. And they could. I was still on probation when this happened. They could have just pulled the plug times.

[John J. Wiley]

If you're in probation, you're fired. It's over and done with.

[Dexter Pitts]

Absolutely. But that's not what they did. They saw me who I was, and they saw that a fellow officer, a young man, was going through a rough time. And that is why I've always. I don't use my podcast to talk down about my department. You can find anything wrong with any department but the place where I work, they pulled together and they took care of me in my most dire time. So that's why I told people I don't down talk my department, because I know the department I come from and what the officers in the chain of command have done for me, and I am grateful to them for that.

[John J. Wiley]

You said earlier in your story you had a breakdown and they sent you off for help. So I imagine you were still probationary at that point. Oh, yes, that Is unheard of to have happen. And you went away for 30 days, and when you came back, you're feeling pretty good. I'm on track. I'm doing all right, and I know how to handle things. I'm sure you had more tools in your arsenal or tool belt on how to deal with things. And then you get this heavy duty call, domestic violence, and your. Your partner says you're not okay and is willing to have a conversation with you where they're willing to hurt your feelings to save your life.

[Dexter Pitts]

Absolutely. And that is what has to happen. I said you could play tough guy all you want, but the people you work with every day that know, you know when you're not okay. And if she wouldn't have felt, you know, confident enough to step out and call me out, who knows what would have happened if I would have just stayed there on that scene. And that took care of myself in that moment. All the work I did to get myself better, to get back to be on the job, that could have all just been washed away. But because I had a partner that cared about me and knew me enough and told me, hey, step away. I mean, this is why I love this career. The people I have worked with for years.

[John J. Wiley]

Well, it's one of the things I try to tell people. I know it's not the right phrase. We work by. We call squad concept. So if someone was having a bad moment, a bad day, you took and said, hey, I got this. You get in the car, Go in the station. Go do something else. And we got it from here. Everybody had days like that. Everybody. And we were always there. We expected the best from each other. We worked hard on each other, and sometimes we were brutal with each other to get better at our job, to be better at serving people, all those things. The basic I was taught was, Dexter, was treat everybody with respect. Until they changed the tone of the conversation. So the squad concept sounds like it saved your life.

[Dexter Pitts]

Absolutely. And it's actually working again now because I'm sure. I don't know if everybody's aware, but we lost an officer here in Louisville on December 18th. It was my partner, my sector partner, my friend officer Zach cottingen. I mean, he was on the farm interstate, and he was hit by a car. And, you know, some of us went to work a week later. Me, myself, and another officer. We took a little bit more time because everybody, you know, mourns different and recovers different. Some people just want to get back to work, and that's okay for some people. Me, I Had been in the situation before where I was not well and was on duty and I did not perform well. And if I'm not performing well as an officer, guess who suffers? The people we swore to protect. And so I took that extra time to come back to work. And I just went back to work this past Friday and like I said, Am I 100%? It's going to take time. When you lose, losing somebody that you're on shift with, that you were just with 10 minutes before, then all of a sudden you're at roll call and they're no longer there. It's not going to be something you recover from overnight. It's going to take time and it's going to take a while for this one because this one really hurt all of us because he was such a good guy. And I don't just say that because. But he was legit a good man. I mean, we learned at his funeral things he did for people that I had. Nobody had ever had a clue about. He told nobody. And that's why, as I tell people, that's why I love this career, because I get to work and meet with people like Officer Zach.

[John J. Wiley]

I'm sorry that this happened to him. His family, when I say family, that's both blue and blood. And it brings up so many memories of people that have been killed that had died. And it doesn't get easier. It stays with you. I think so many of my guests on this show say that I'm damaged goods, but I'm okay with it. And then we kind of laugh because everybody's been in policing for any period of time in America, at least they're going to come out of it dinged up.

[Dexter Pitts]

Absolutely. I mean, the amount of trauma we deal with on a daily basis, you know, people might have two or three traumatic incidents in their entire life. We might have two or three a shift that's just one shift for the week, you know, and we just constantly stack this trauma. But I think that's why the men and women of the thin blue line are special, because nobody else can do what we do. But at the same time, you know, people say, I don't know how you do what you do, officer. And then I look at somebody working at a factory on an assembly line for eight hours a day. I couldn't do it.

[John J. Wiley]

Yeah. I don't know how some people do the jobs they do at all. We're talking with Dexter Pitts. Dexter is a combat wounded veteran. He is also Louisville Police Department police officer. He is the author of the book I Am Memoirs of an American Patriot and he is also a podcaster. His podcast is called I Am Pitts. This is a law enforcement show and we returned our conversation with Dexter. We're going to talk about his trials, tribulations and how he has made progress with post traumatic stress and much more. Don't go anywhere. We'll be right back. If you do any business on social media, creating content is one thing. The trick is how do you turn those people that comment on your social media into consumers? It's a great tool and you can get more information at. Let pops.com that's L E T P O P S dot com. Best of all, you can start it for free. Let pops.com check it out today. This is law enforcement show Return of Conversation with Dexter Pitts. Dexter is a Louisville, Kentucky police officer. He is also combat wounded veteran wounded in Iraq. His mother died by suicide after ending his field training. He's authored book I Am Pitts Memoirs of an American Patriot. He's also a podcaster. His podcast is called I Am Pitts. Dexter, you've been through a lot. You're doing a lot. And before we went to break, we're talking about how people do certain things. And sometimes, you know, I talk to my mom periodically and I say, I appreciate all you did, you and my dad. I don't know how you did it. And I have two adult children. I still don't know how they did it. Would I want to do what they did with five kids back in the day and what a Navy active duty person made? No, we were all poor. Everybody was poor. Everybody's in the same boat we were in. We didn't know any different. So having said all that, you've had a rough, a rough hand dealt to you between serving in Iraq, your mom's death by suicide and then all the things we see in law enforcement and the death of your partner, your friend, your sector buddy. I'm so sorry that you've been through all these things, but the truth is we all have, and I hate this term, we all have our crosses to bear. You've got some big ones and you've made it so far. But it sounds to me like you've not made it this far without help of other people.

[Dexter Pitts]

Absolutely. You know, as I say, good friends and family and that having a good core group and somebody, people that love you and support you, people that are willing to call you out when you're not willing to face your own demons, that is absolute key in this profession. And to anybody in life. For me, my wife, she is phenomenal. And now this is how, you know, I'm a real cop and a real veteran. This is my third marriage, so I had to go through two horrible marriages in order to find her.

[John J. Wiley]

Well, you know what they'll tell you, right, is if something happens to this marriage, don't you ever do it again.

[Dexter Pitts]

Absolutely. It would be me at this point. But, you know, we've been together going on 10 years, and she is my absolute rock. I mean, she has supported me on my worst days. You know, the days I come home after working the protests and the riots and, you know, I would start having dreams about Iraq again because of all the stress. You know, she would push me, hey, you need to go to the va. You need to go talk to somebody. You know, hey, you're drinking too much.

[John J. Wiley]

Tell her I said that. Tell her I said thank you. And I'm very similar. You know, my first marriage ended in divorce. It wasn't what either one of us wanted, but it was. We didn't have the tools we have available. Now, my wife, we've been together 20 some odd years, and she's the best thing that ever could happen to me. And to be honest with you, she really gets as much as someone who hasn't gone through these things. She gets it more than most.

[Dexter Pitts]

Absolutely. You know, and they go through these. You don't suffer alone. That's the thing. People think that they suffer alone. When you're married or you have family, you have friends, you don't suffer alone. It's a choice to suffer alone. But your family suffers with you. When you cut yourself off on your family and friends, when you're not talking to anybody, it affects them. My wife this past week told me, hey, you've not talked to anybody. You've not really been around. Because I've been kind of mourning my partner in my own way. And in doing that, I didn't realize how it was affecting and hurting my family. But that's what I needed was her to come out, tell me, hey, you're not doing okay. And I am forever thankful for that.

[John J. Wiley]

We use the term post traumatic stress disorder. That's the defined medical. I don't like the term disorder. I don't like that part of it. I prefer to use the term post traumatic stress injury. To me, this is a lot like if you compare to orthopedic injury. No one expects me to be like I was at 18 before all these other shoulder surgeries and whatnot. So for me to Expect to have the same emotional, mental, and biological physiological responses to stress or anger or. Or threats is kind of ridiculous. How would you describe your condition?

[Dexter Pitts]

I would definitely describe it as that I'm diagnosed with VA and I take medications that help me, but I tell everybody the most important thing I have done is talk about it and write about it, which is why I started writing my book in 2014. Because we carry all this stuff around, this load of emotional baggage, and just all the trauma we've suffered physically and mentally, we never unload it, and we just keep stacking more and more trauma on top of it. And then we always wonder when you have a tough guy, like a Navy SEAL or a Special Forces guy, or just an everyday military tough guy that all of a sudden kills himself. And everybody always wonders what happened. Why? Because we never offload or unload this stuff. We just carry these. You know, we just carry these burdens we were not meant to carry by ourselves. So for me, writing was my. It started being my therapy in 2014, just getting all the trauma and stuff I went through as a kid. My time in Iraq, my divorces, my mom's suicide, family issues, stuff under the police department, the riots. Just writing it just unloaded my mind and my heart, and it makes me feel so much better now. It's not a matter of 100% PTSD free whatsoever, but I have nightmares and dreams, But I know how to cope now. And because of that, that is why I do the podcast. Because it gives me something to focus on and look forward to. And everybody wonders, like, why do you keep serving as a police officer when technically I am retired by the military standard, I don't have to work. But I keep working and serving because I know that if I'm not working towards something or serving others, I start to focus on the not so good parts of my life, and I lose focus on what's important in life.

[John J. Wiley]

I tell people all the time, if. If I'm not busy, my mind reverts to the past and my brain is like a really bad neighborhood. You don't want to go there by yourself. I need to stay busy.

[Dexter Pitts]

Absolutely. And that's why I continue to work, even though I could not work and my bills would be paid. But also, that's not the example I want to set for my kids. My kids are 8 and 6. I don't want them to see Daddy just getting up every day and hanging out around the house. I want them to see Daddy working towards something so that they can see, hey, I gotta get up. And I gotta work, too, because I can't tell them to go work towards something. I'm not working towards anything. That would be a hypocrite. And that's not the type of example I want to set for my kids or for other people in this country. I want people to see you can go through hardships and endure, but it does not stop there. You have to. To keep going. And I said, don't focus on yourself. Focus on helping other people as well. That's life is about.

[John J. Wiley]

The ultimate leave for me from myself is to focus my attention on how I can help others around me.

[Dexter Pitts]

Absolutely. And that's, that's. And that's why I do what I do. Like I tell people my job makes me thankful for the life that I have.

[John J. Wiley]

I want to shift gears to your book, your podcast. You've got so much going on, Dexter. First of all, where can people find out more information about you, your podcast, your book, etc.

[Dexter Pitts]

So if you want to get a copy of my book, you can go to I am Pitts.com there you can read the synopsis of my book and you can go ahead and order the book. There's links to Amazon and Barnes and Nobles on there, or you can just go directly to Amazon.com and find the book. And also, I run a podcast, the I Am Pitts podcast. You can find that on Apple, Spotify and Google Podcast and also Amazon now as well, and many other platforms.

[John J. Wiley]

And Podbean, how long you been doing this podcast?

[Dexter Pitts]

I actually just started in March of last year. And that's because my buddy from my police academy who's a former Army Ranger, he was like, you're talking about it, but you're not doing it. I was like, you know what? You right.

[John J. Wiley]

I didn't tell him. I said, thank you for pushing you to do that.

[Dexter Pitts]

I will. I will shout out to my buddy, Paul Cobb.

[John J. Wiley]

So, so much of what we talked about, and you, you are one of these people. I think you're really blessed in that you have partners that are willing to step on your toes, to say things that will hurt your feelings, to save your life. And a lot of us, we don't have those conversations. And I'm not speaking we as in police or law enforcement or we as a military veterans. I'm talking about older guys. Quite often, we don't have these conversations. We don't say, hey, by the way, you don't look okay. And there was a time where I wasn't okay. And this is what I was going through and this is what I had to do.

[Dexter Pitts]

Absolutely. And that's what one thing I want to do with the podcast and the book. I want to change that old way of thinking where we just suffer, be tough guys. That has to go away because once we can get rid of that, we can save more officers lives and we could provide the people we serve a better quality product as well.

[John J. Wiley]

I'm glad you said that. I am so selfish and self centered. If I have a medical emergency I want the A team showing up. I want someone who's really, really proficient in the job and normally it's going to be law enforcement enforcement first and I don't want the B string coming in and I don't want someone who's really struggling. Dexter, I want to thank you for your service and both the military and in Louisville Police Department. Thank you for authoring your book, thank you for running your podcast, but most importantly, thank you for being a guest on the Law Enforcement show sharing all this tough stuff with us. It's very much appreciated.

[Dexter Pitts]

Mr. I truly appreciate you all for having me on. Thank you so much.

[John J. Wiley]

A huge thank you for listening to this episode of the podcast version of the Law Enforcement Talk Radio show, by the way, which is a nationally syndicated radio show and we broadcast on over 115 radio stations across the United States to more than 44 million combined population. If you like our show, there's two simple things you can do. Go to our website letradio.com Add your favorites. Check it often. You can find episodes of the show right there. And the second one involves our Facebook page. It's so easy to find great content including past episodes of the show. And when you see something that you like that resonates with you, be sure to share with your friends. We'll be back in just a few days. Another episode of the Law Enforcement Talk Radio show and podcast. Until then, this is John Jay Wylie.

[Dexter Pitts]

See ya.