Law Enforcement Talk: True Crime and Trauma Stories

Episode: Is 19 Too Young To Be a Police Officer?

Guest: Michael Laidler

Host: John "Jay" Wiley

Release Date: December 21, 2025

Episode Overview

This episode explores the challenging question: "Is 19 too young to be a police officer?" Host John “Jay” Wiley speaks with Michael Laidler—a career law enforcement officer who began policing at 19—about trauma, youth in policing, and the long-term personal impacts of intense on-the-job experiences. Michael shares compelling stories from his early years, discusses the psychological toll of law enforcement, and offers insights into transitioning from local to federal agencies. The discussion delves deeply into resilience, mental health, and the importance of self-awareness and leadership development for officers.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Entering Law Enforcement at 19

• Motivation and Early Impressions

  • Michael’s passion sparked in the 1990s after witnessing the O.J. Simpson trial and LAPD chase.
  • Expected to join the force at 22-24, but landed the job at 19 in Tallahassee, Florida.
    • “I was fortunate to have that chance at that time. And since then it's been an amazing lifestyle just being in law enforcement.” — Michael Laidler [03:14]

• Age and Readiness

  • Both Michael and John discuss how difficult it is to be truly prepared, regardless of age.
    • “No matter how much training I got at the time, it just didn't seem like enough maturity, life experience, just navigating all that through life. It was definitely a challenge for me and I can still see it being a challenge for anybody anywhere at that young age.” — Michael Laidler [04:10]

2. Exposure to Trauma & Violence in “Smaller” Cities

• The Reality of Policing Tallahassee
  • Tallahassee, while not a major metropolis, had a high crime rate and serious violent incidents.
    • “There's homicides, there's robberies, there's sexual assaults, all the things you can think of in a place like Tallahassee.” — Michael Laidler [07:28]
  • Smaller cities have fewer officers but similar levels of trauma and violence per capita.

3. Trauma Calls that Change You

Incident 1: Life-Saving Rescue at a Crash Scene ([12:33] – [15:47])

• Description

  • Youngest, lightest officer is chosen to crawl into a crashed van to help a trapped, bleeding woman.
  • Michael applies pressure to her arm; she shows him her son’s photo—her only wish is to survive long enough to see her child.
  • “It was between me, that towel and her arm on what was going to happen next.” — Michael Laidler [14:07]
  • The woman survived but lost her arm; Michael reflects on the emotional impact and the lack of debriefing or support afterward.

• Host Reflection

  • Jay shares the emotional burden of having to reassure dying people on scene:
    • “I lied to people that were dying ... Hang in there. Help’s on the way. You're gonna be okay. It's not that bad.” — John J. Wiley [15:47]

Incident 2: Infant Death Call ([21:19] – [25:25])

• Description

  • Within the same week as the crash, Michael responds to a call about a non-breathing infant.
  • He performs CPR; the family looks to him with desperate hope; nothing more can be done.
  • The experience is haunting due to helplessness, lack of preparation for child death, and no subsequent debrief.
    • “We start doing CPR the best we can on a three month old baby. But we knew at the time that that baby was no longer with us.” — Michael Laidler [21:45]
    • “I failed at my job that day...there was nothing I could have done differently.” — Michael Laidler [23:38]

• Self-reflection & Coping Mechanisms

  • Both officers discuss the tendency to cope with trauma using alcohol and unhealthy habits, in the absence of professional support or debriefing.
    • “That was not the healthy way to handle that. That wasn't the way that is good for our mental mindset.” — Michael Laidler [26:03]

4. Growth, Maturity & Changing Approaches

• From Local Policing to Border Patrol and Federal Service ([30:24] – [34:57])

  • Michael discusses how his early traumas and experiences motivated him to seek broader roles—transitioning to border patrol and then federal corrections.
    • “All the experiences that I got through all these careers have really pushed me to the level of thinking differently because I think if I just stayed in one agency, I would only thought one way.” — Michael Laidler [31:57]

• Key Differences in Federal Policing

  • Border Patrol is often misunderstood; agents are highly isolated and vastly outnumbered on patrol.
    • “It's just a different feeling ... There’s just not enough people ... You're out there by yourself a lot. It’s a little indifferent from when I was a police officer because I can call on the radio, say I need some assistance and I will get somebody in a minute. As border Patrol, you’re out there and there's miles between you and your partner.” — Michael Laidler [34:19]

• On Using Discretion and Facing Danger Alone

  • “Sometimes when you’re not in the role, you don't understand ... you don't have help. So you really have to decide ... is this worth my life?” — Michael Laidler [35:59]

5. Self-awareness, Resilience & Mental Health in Policing

• The Importance of Debrief and Peer Support

  • Then vs. now: Absence of formal support led to reliance on peer venting and drinking, which could be both cathartic and dangerous.
    • “Talk to people that kind of know your situation … you never want to handle it by yourself. That's never the right way to do it.” — Michael Laidler [27:52]

• Developing Self-Awareness and Leadership

  • Michael now speaks to law enforcement and has written a book on personal growth for officers.
    • “We have so many other things that we have to train on that your mindset and personal growth is usually on the back burner.” — Michael Laidler [39:13]
    • Book title: Greatness Beyond the Badge (launching soon).

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Readiness at 19:
  “No matter how much training I got at the time, it just didn't seem like enough maturity, life experience ... It was definitely a challenge for me and I can still see it being a challenge for anybody anywhere at that young age.” — Michael Laidler [04:10]

• On the realism of trauma:
  “You can't help but be dinged up.” — John J. Wiley [04:48]

• The human side of the badge:
  “All she wanted to do was survive. And it was between me, that towel and her arm on what was going to happen next.” — Michael Laidler [14:07]

• On debrief and unhealthy coping:
  “That was not the healthy way to handle that. That wasn't the way that is good for our mental mindset.” — Michael Laidler [26:03]

• On border patrol shock:
  “There's been times when my radio didn't work because I was so far out, and I would approach a group ... and I had to make a choice. Is it worth my life to get that or not?” — Michael Laidler [35:59]

• On policing’s psychological costs:
  “Discretion is a better part of valor.” — John J. Wiley [36:39]

• On leadership in law enforcement:
  “Who are you as a person? Why should you develop yourself? ... These are things that I’ve learned because I actually studied other industries, I went to college, I read a lot of books because I feel like this is something that's really needed for what we do as law enforcement officers.” — Michael Laidler [39:13]

Timestamps for Important Segments

• [02:37] Michael discusses motivation and early entrance into law enforcement
• [04:10] The challenge of maturity and life experience at 19
• [07:28] Perception vs. reality of crime in smaller cities
• [12:33] First major traumatic incident: crash rescue story
• [15:47] The emotional toll of providing hope at trauma scenes
• [21:19] Second major trauma: unsuccessful infant resuscitation
• [23:38] Feelings of failure and self-critique, coping mechanisms
• [30:24] Effects of trauma on career progression, transition to federal policing
• [34:19] The unique realities and misconceptions surrounding Border Patrol
• [38:28] Self-awareness, leadership, and Michael’s new book

Episode Takeaways

• Readiness for policing at 19 is questionable due to maturity and life experience, but some are called and rise to the occasion—albeit at a personal cost.
• All communities—big and small—experience significant violence; policing exposes officers to trauma everywhere.
• Unprocessed trauma can have long-term personal consequences; systemic support and mental health debriefs are crucial yet underutilized.
• Peer support—even informal—can help cope, but risky behaviors (like drinking) often replace healthy processing.
• Career growth in law enforcement is shaped by early trauma and adversity, driving some towards leadership and advocacy roles where they can support others.
• Leadership, self-awareness, and personal growth are essential for today’s officers, not only traditional tactical training.

Resources & Further Information

• Michael Laidler's website: michaellaidler.com
• Book: Greatness Beyond the Badge
• Law Enforcement Talk Radio Show: letradio.com

This summary is intended as an informative guide for listeners, reinforcing the lived experiences, insights, and reflections featured in this episode. It maintains the honest and conversational tone of both host and guest, while distilling the core messages for those seeking a behind-the-scenes look at police life, trauma, and resilience.