Police Husband was Killed in a Helicopter Crash.

Summary

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Law Enforcement Talk: True Crime and Trauma Stories

Episode: Police Husband was Killed in a Helicopter Crash

Host: John "Jay" Wiley
Guest: Kira Knox
Date: December 28, 2025

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Main Theme & Purpose

This powerful episode centers around Kira Knox, widow of Houston Police Department Officer Jason Knox, who was tragically killed in the line of duty during a police helicopter crash. The conversation delves deeply into her lived experience of trauma, loss, and recovery—from the night of the incident, through the aftermath, funeral, and her ongoing journey toward healing. Beyond recounting her loss, Kira discusses her work supporting other law enforcement families and the creation of a practical resource, "The Guide," for families navigating sudden tragedy.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

The Night of the Crash and Notification (02:33—08:44)

• Incident Overview: On May 2, 2020, Jason Knox, serving as Tactical Flight Officer, responded to a call searching for a body (which turned out to be a false alarm). During the operation, the HPD helicopter suffered mechanical failure and crashed into an empty apartment leasing office.

• Immediate Aftermath: Emergency teams quickly located the crash site. Jason was extracted in about 10 minutes, alive and conscious, but succumbed to his injuries during surgery.

• Notification Experience: Kira describes the surreal moment of being contacted at 3:00am by her husband's partner and best friend:

  “I open the door and fall to my knees, and I’m like, what happened? … All they knew was the helicopter had crashed. Both of them were being life flighted to the hospital, and they were both alive.” (05:35)

• False Sense of Security: Jason had previously survived a helicopter accident and a patrol car rollover, giving a false sense that “lightning can’t strike twice” (08:06).

Processing the Loss and Surviving the Aftermath (11:15—20:13)

• Incomprehension and Disbelief: Upon being told Jason didn’t survive, Kira initially refused to believe it, highlighting the impossibility of processing such finality:

  "Even when they told me that he didn’t make it … I was like, no, you have to be confused, like, this can’t be him." (14:27)

• The Visual of Loss: The enduring and traumatic image of seeing Jason with the flag draped over him at the hospital:

  “…Seeing your husband on a hospital bed with a flag draped over him—just. That will be an image burned into my head forever.” (15:38)

The Law Enforcement Family & Grief Support (17:20—20:13)

• How to Support the Bereaved: Both Kira and John reflect on the helplessness people feel after a line of duty death.

  “People just really, truly do not know what to say.” (17:20 – Kira)
  “Here’s what Kim said to me. That’s her name. She said, listen, you can’t make it worse. The worst has already happened. So talk to me about … Don’t abandon me.” (18:26 – John)

• Advice to Friends and Colleagues: Kira urges people not to walk on eggshells or exclude her from normal life:

  “The worst thing you can do is treat me differently because of my circumstance. Just keep being who you are.” (18:44)

Parenting Through Tragedy (34:01–35:44)

• Telling Her Kids: Kira describes the agony of having to tell their children (ages 5 and 3) what happened to their father:

  “Once they woke up, I took them one by one outside and had to explain to them on their level that their dad wasn’t coming home... My son obviously took it harder because he's older and had a lot of questions.” (34:01)

The Police Funeral and Community Response (27:41–30:59)

• Overwhelmed by Scale and Attention: Kira, a dispatcher herself, reflects on the experience of enduring a massive line-of-duty funeral, including support but also the exhaustion of constant attention:

  “A lot of that week is kind of a fog. I don't even remember a lot of that.” (29:52)

Life Stolen, Moving Forward, & The Need for Practical Support (25:28–26:36, 36:37–41:00)

• Sense of a Stolen Future: Kira grieves not just her husband but the life and future they’d built since high school:

  "My whole life kind of ripped away from me because now I’m here trying to do this by myself. … Deep down, I know that I’m going to have to find love again and that’s the scariest thing.” (25:28)

• True Friends Revealed:

  “You really do find out who your true friends are. … The groups of people that I have, the tribe, the village—because it literally takes a freaking village. I could not be more blessed on that.” (36:37)

• Practical Challenges and the Birth of “The Guide”: Kira and others created a comprehensive resource for surviving families based on her experiences, aiming to ease logistical burdens (like paying bills, handling paperwork, sharing information):

  “There’s so many people that want to come into your house, and this is a safe place that you can fill out everything that’s pertinent in regards to you and your spouse and your family…” (38:30)

• Most Important Advice:

  “Get a will. Because we unfortunately did not have one and we had to go through probate. … Bills have to get paid. Your children … have to go on. … And a spouse is not in any kind of state of mind to be doing those things.” (39:47)

Carrying Forward—Helping Others (41:00–43:09)

• Empowering Others Through Blue Bow Foundation:

  “So I’m the director of social media for the Blue Bow. … When my husband died they came in and did amazing food donations, just everything. They were absolutely amazing.” (42:34)

• Contacting Kira and Getting “The Guide”:

  “If you go to our website, bluebo.org and go under shop, you can get … a PDF version. … Or for a $25 donation, you will get a hard copy and a binder with tabs and extra pockets.” (41:22)
  “On Facebook you can message us or email, but yeah.” (43:09)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Surviving Trauma:

  “No, you’re not okay. Like, even two years later, I'm still not okay. I'm just still standing.” (17:20 – Kira Knox)

• On Lingering Images:

  “Seeing your husband on a hospital bed with a flag draped over him—just. That will be an image burned into my head forever.” (15:38)

• On Grief and Moving On:

  "I was 32 when it happened. I never, never thought I would become a 32-year-old widow." (27:32)

• On Community Support:

  “You really do find out who your true friends are. … It literally takes a freaking village.” (36:37)

• On the Need for Preparation:

  “Get a will. … Bills have to get paid. … And a spouse is not in any kind of state of mind to be doing those things.” (39:47)

• On Helping Others:

  “If you have one person that can just take over that guide and, you know, divvy out tasks or whatever for everybody…” (38:30)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• [02:33–08:44] – Kira’s detailed account of the crash, notification, and the initial hours of uncertainty
• [14:27–15:38] – Processing Jason’s death at the hospital, revelation, and the enduring trauma
• [17:20–19:16] – Coping with grief, what friends can do, and how to be supportive
• [25:28–27:41] – The feeling of a stolen future; grappling with widowhood at 32
• [27:41–30:59] – The scale and surreal nature of the police funeral
• [34:01–35:44] – Breaking the news to her children
• [36:37–38:30] – Community support, true friendship, and logistical challenges
• [39:47–41:00] – Most important advice for law enforcement families
• [41:22–43:09] – How to obtain "The Guide," Kira’s ongoing advocacy, and support network

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Resources & Further Support

• Blue Bow Foundation & The Guide:

  • Website: bluebo.org
  • Under “Shop” section for The Guide (PDF and hard copy options)
  • Blue Bow Foundation (on Facebook)

• Contact Kira Knox:

  • Via Blue Bow social media or email through website

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“You can’t make it worse. The worst has already happened. … Just don’t be a stranger and don’t abandon me.” (18:26 – Shared lesson from John and Kira)

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Transcript

[A]

Hi, I'm Andy Staples from Andy and Ariane three. And another five star quarterback just entered the transfer portal. That's what college football is now, a non stop adventure. And we cover it every day at Andy and Ariane 3. Whether it's the transfer portal, the college football playoff, the coaching carousel, you name it. And guess what, it doesn't stop even when the season ends. So join us every day, Monday through Friday. New episodes drop at 3pm wherever you get your podcasts.

[B]

WSECU isn't just one of Washington's best credit unions. We're the only credit union to be on the Forbes Best in State list five years running.

[C]

Why?

[B]

Because we put you first. Lower fees, early paydays, financial guidance and service second to none. As a member owned cooperative, we love Washington as much as you do. From the Olympic mountains to the rolling Palouse. Join us and discover how much we care about your financial well being. Because what we really do best is invest in you. Stop by, say hi, we're wsecu, you let's Credit Union.

[D]

Her husband was a police officer in the Houston Police Department. He was killed in the line of duty. She's here to talk about the tragedy, the effects afterwards, and how her experience motivates her to help others. Welcome to the Law Enforcement Talk Radio Show. In the Law Enforcement Talk Radio show, we are joined by special guests talking about their experiences, their realities, investigating crimes. The plus those who have experienced horrendous trauma. Police, first responders, military and victims of crime share their stories. Hi, I'm John J. Wiley. In addition to being a broadcaster, I'm also a retired police sergeant. Be sure to check out our website letradio.com and also like us on Facebook, search for the Law Enforcement Talk Radio show. You know we used to have an app and it was a very popular app and then guess what, we couldn't hold a candle through our Facebook presence. How many people have the mobile Facebook app already installed on their phone? How many people use it on their computer? Make sure you follow us, make sure you like us on our Facebook page. Just search for law Enforcement Talk radio show and podcast and be sure to send us a comment to one of the posts. Best of all as 100% free. Joining us from Texas, we have Kira Knox on the Law Enforcement Show. Kira's husband Jason was a police officer in Houston, Texas and he was killed in the line of duty in a police helicopter crash. She's here to tell us the story. Thanks so much for being a guest on the Law Enforcement Show.

[E]

Very much appreciated yes, hi. So May 2, 2020, my husband was, they call it the TFO, the tactical flight officer. He was the TFO in the helicopter and then there was the pilot and they were out on the call. They were searching for a body in a bayou that had been called in. Ended up being a false call. But you know, you have to treat every call as such. So hfd, you know, everybody's out there looking for this potential victim and something happened with the helicopter and they spun out of control and crashed into an abandoned. Not abandoned, it was an empty apartment, like leasing office. Thankfully, HFD was already pretty much right there. There was no smoke, there was no fire. Nobody really saw it happen like law enforcement, first responder wise, until they got flagged down and they were kind of confused because they had just seen the helicopter flying around looking for this person and all of a sudden it's not there. So they drive around and they find it and they start, you know, the whole extrication process. And my husband was on the right side of the helicopter. So it's like a, it's like a car. The driver's on the left and the passenger's on the right.

[D]

Right.

[E]

So the way he had fallen was on the pilot side. It took about 10 minutes or less to get my husband out. He was alive, he was stable, conscious. And they transported him, they flew him to Memorial Herman, the pilot was in pretty bad shape. He. They took. It took over an hour to get him out. He also got flown to the hospital. So fast forward to my, my side about 2:30, 3:00 clock in the morning. And oddly enough, one of my best friends and my husband's best friend called me. And I looked at the phone, I thought, why are you calling me at, you know, almost 3:00am because he doesn't work night shift. And I answer the phone and it's not his voice, it's somebody else. And he said, you know, Kira, we're at your front door, there's been an accident. So, you know, jump out of bed, come to my door and sure enough, there's two uniformed police officers at my door. And one of them, like I said, was my best friend. And the other one I actually knew.

[D]

This must have been quite. I know from my first wife, she is always prepared for the knock at the door. Knew it was a potential of happening, but always thought, like me, it would never happen. It will never, never come to be. That had to be quite a shock for you that you're even getting a phone call. If someone calls me in the middle of the night. It better be an emergency. And even then, I'm like, what's going on? What day is it? I don't know what's going on.

[E]

Yeah. And then to know that it was him calling me, but then to not hear his voice really is what threw me off, because he just couldn't. He couldn't talk to me because this was his best friend. They were partners at hpd. So, you know, I open the door and fall to my knees, and I'm like, what happened? And at that time, all they knew was the helicopter had crashed. Both of them were being life flighted to the hospital, and they were both alive. So I leave my friend here with my kids and hop in the car with the. He was a lieutenant at the time. Hop in the car with him. I'm calling my mom. She's out in Waller. I know my in laws have already gotten a call because they're in the city. So I drive. You know, we're driving to the medical center, which seems like the longest, shortest drive ever, and we get there and we're told he's stable. He's in surgery. He's going to have a long road of recovery, but he should be, you know, he should be okay. And everybody was telling us that, and till it wasn't. And they came out and said that he didn't make it and that the pilot was still in his surgery.

[D]

So that's something that. I've said this before, Kira. You know, we know that there's always potential for being killed. We know there's a greater potential for being maimed and having lifelong injuries and all those things. On any call, you're seconds away from a really bad call happening. But we put it in the back of our mind that that's not going to happen. That won't happen to me. That happens to other people. That happens to other families. That doesn't happen to me. It doesn't happen to my family. And yet it happened to your family. Did you have that state of mind? This will never happen to us?

[E]

Yes. Especially since, oddly enough, he was involved in a helicopter crash 10 months before this one. It was a hard landing at the airport. I mean, they did flip it over on its side. He walked away without a scratch. And I thought, okay, you got your one out of your system. It's never going to happen again. Like lightning doesn't strike the same spot twice, right?

[D]

No, it doesn't.

[E]

And he had also flipped a patrol car years before that. So I always thought, okay, you're in the helicopter, you're safer in the sky than you're ever going to be on the streets.

[D]

That's exactly what I was going to ask you. We are talking with Kira Knox. She is a survivor of fallen Houston officer Jason Knox. She's here to tell more of the story about the incident that claimed the life of her husband, her life afterwards, and creating a booklet called the Guide which is available at Blue Bow Foundation. This is Law Enforcement Show. Don't go anywhere. We will be right back.

[C]

Remember when free meant free, no charge, no credit card information needed. Well, a place like that still exists on the Internet. The law enforcement talk radio show website letradio.com where everything is free including the podcast episodes are available after airing on radio. The website is letradio.com that's letradio.com where free means free.

[A]

Hi, I'm Andy Staples from Andy and Ariane three. And another five star quarterback just entered the transfer portal. That's what college football is now, a non stop adventure. And we cover it every day at Andy and Ariane 3. Whether it's the transfer portal, the college football playoff, the coaching carousel, you name it. And guess what, it doesn't stop even when the season ends. So join us every day, Monday through Friday. New episodes drop at 3pm Wherever you get your podcasts.

[B]

WSECU isn't just one of Washington's best credit unions. We're the only credit union to be on the Forbes Best in State list five years running.

[C]

Why?

[B]

Because we put you first. Lower fees, early paydays, financial guidance and service second to none. As a member owned cooperative, we love Washington as much as you do. From the Olympic mountains to the rolling pool lose. Join us and discover how much we care about your financial well being. Because what we really do best is invest in you. Stop by, say hi, we're wsecu. Let's credit union.

[D]

Return conversation on the Law Enforcement show with Kira Knox. Her husband, Houston police officer Jason Knox was killed line of duty in a police helicopter crash. She's here to talk about that and how her experience led her to creating a booklet called the Guide which is available for law enforcement families at Blue Bow Foundation. Get more details, their website is bluebo.org Kira first of all, thank you for coming on the show. Talking about this stuff. I don't know.

[E]

Thank you for having me.

[D]

I don't know that I could do it. There's stuff I find difficult to talk about that's been 30 years ago. This was only a couple of years.

[E]

Ago, just shy of it. Yeah.

[D]

And it's still really, really fresh. I don't know that I would have the composure that you do. So if I could give you flowers right now or a medal or something for just really compose yourself, I would. I can't.

[E]

So thank you so much.

[D]

Here's the thing. When you said before we went to break, hey, he's in a helicopter. He'll be safer than he will be in a uniform in a marked patrol car on the streets. I get that. That would be the normal thought process. He's elevated. He's away from threats, he's away from all the violence. It's observation role. And it's kind of a cherished, highly sought after role, isn't it?

[E]

Yes.

[D]

In my department of Baltimore was really difficult to get that job. They're really. By the way, I'll tell you a quick story. I don't know how true this is, but they had training. When you'd have a new flight officer, not the helicopter pilot, the new flight officer, they would get their spouse involved in it. And there was a training a new officer and said, now watch his car. And next thing you know, he's watching the car, he's giving directions, they're doing trial runs. And the car goes to his house and his driveway, and guy gets out, walks through the front door, knocks on the door, and he's losing it the whole time. And all of a sudden his spouse comes out and they both look up in the sky and wave the helicopter and it's like, yeah, we got. Oh, my goodness, yes, they're a fratern. The whole police family, really, literally is a family. But the flight officers, they are a different breed altogether. Is that a fair assessment?

[E]

Oh, absolutely, yeah. Kind of. Tangent. After my husband died, another one of my friends reached out to the Los Angeles Air Support Division and told them the story. And my husband and I loved la. We just loved to visit there. And LAPD made him an honorary member of their Air Support division. And I have this huge plaque. And then last year, I got to go and thank all these guys, and then they let me go on a ride along in their helicopter.

[D]

And you went in the helicopter?

[E]

I went on a ride along and their helicopter.

[D]

I don't know if I could do that. I don't know if I could do that in a good day without anything bad happening. And you've already been through the worst of the worst.

[E]

Yeah, I can't go in the blue one. The blue. The blue one that HPD still flies on the most regular basis. The one that Crashed. I can't get into one of those. But the bigger, safer, newer one, I've gone twice, so good for you.

[D]

I want to go back. You found out there's a knock at the door. He made it to the hospital. Did you at any point think that, hey, this is really, really bad or like, how bad are the injuries and how long will recovery be and how much is the pain going to be?

[E]

I guess I was thinking I can only go off of what they were telling me. And the entire drive to the hospital, they didn't have any information. And at that point, things had started popping up on social media. So I was seeing pictures and I'm thinking, this is bad. But I also have to think, well, he's done this before and you know, they're training. Maybe this was just a hard landing and he got jolted a little bit. I mean, never in a million years would I have thought that it was going to turn into a fatality. Even when they told me that he didn't make it and the pilot did, I was like, no, you have to be confused, like, this can't be him. And I didn't get to see him until after he was gone. And they had taken him to a room and had cleaned him up. And that's when I was like, okay, this is really happening. Something about seeing your husband on a hospital bed with a flag draped over him. Just. That will be an image burned into my head forever.

[D]

Yeah, I don't think I. I'll be honest, I didn't know your husband. I saw pictures of him and I remember I didn't until I saw a photo of him. I didn't remember the incident until I saw a photo of him. And it's like, yeah, I recall that in the news. I'm in Florida, so it's a long ways away. However, seeing that the flag draped caskets of the funerals still makes me tear up because it brings back so many memories of really bad things. And I can appreciate your statement that seeing him like that, you'll never get that image out of your mind.

[E]

No.

[D]

Oh my goodness, this is a hard conversation. I'm getting all teary eyed and I suspect you are too, so I want to change directions a little bit. One of the things I had a problem with, we were trained on everything. I mean, you name it, they trained us on everything in the academy, yearly in service, the senior officers, you name it, death notifications. The one thing they didn't teach us was how to talk to the survivors of those kid on line of Duty, you know, we know to show up at the hospital, we know to do the things we're supposed to do. I remember when a guy who worked for me, I transferred a couple months later, he was killed. And when I found out I was working, I just, I took the night off and I went to his wife's house, their house, and I just broke down to that. Since that day, I've had no idea what to say and I've been a world class coward. It's like I don't want to talk to them because I'm afraid of making it worse. And did you encounter that?

[E]

Yeah, a lot. I mean, you know, instinctively everybody wants to ask you, are you okay? And then they immediately put their foot in their mouth because, no, you're not okay. Like, even two years later, I'm still not okay. I'm just still standing. And I learned that really quick, unfortunately, meeting a lot of widows since this has happened, because I go and I see them and I say, I'm not going to ask you how you're doing because I already know the answer to that, but is there anything I can do for you? Because yeah, people just really, truly do not know what to say.

[D]

I'm so afraid of. And I would be the world class idiot who would say the wrong thing, I really would, and not mean it. Then afterwards going, oh, kicking myself if I could. What is wrong with you, you stupid. And just going, here's what Kim said to me. That's her name. She said, listen, you can't make it worse. The worst has already happened.

[E]

So talk to me about 1000%.

[D]

Talk to me about dancing, talk to me about fishing, talk to me about racing, Talk about. If we want to talk about Will, I'll let you know. We'll talk about him. If we can't, I'll let you know. Just don't be a stranger and don't abandon me. Don't stop talking to me.

[E]

Yeah, so I kind of did the same thing. I told all of my people and my friends, don't treat me any differently. Don't walk on eggshells around me. Don't not talk about your husband's because mine's not here. Just the worst thing you can do is treat me differently because of my circumstance. Just keep being who you are and, you know, just don't act differently about it. When you were life. Just because mine came to a halting stop doesn't mean yours can't keep going.

[D]

It came to a stall that life as you knew it came to a halting. Stop. But you're using that to help other people. We'll talk about that in a moment. One of the things that I keep getting in my mind is the vision of going to the hospital and there being literally hundreds of police. There was that situation for you?

[E]

Yes. So if you remember, Covid had just kind of was getting serious then, you know, hospitals had just started to do the whole mask thing. I was not wearing one. I, there was no, none of us were wearing masks. But I do remember getting escorted, you know, down the hallways. And once I got to that room where he was, it was, you know, the command staff, our friends, other people from the division. His parents were already there with me.

[D]

And we're gonna take a short break on the note. We're gonna return that conversation with Kieran Knox. This is law Enforcement show. Don't go anywhere. We will be right back. One of the questions I get all the time, why are you always promoting the law enforcement talk radio show Facebook page? Well, because there's no better place on Facebook. That's it. It's simple. Everything about the law enforcement talk radio show on podcast is right there, including great photos, stories you'll want, want to share, memorials to law enforcement officers who are killed in line of duty, all that and more. Plus old episodes of the show can be found on our Facebook page. Just do a search for law enforcement talk rate of show on Facebook and be sure to click like and or follow. We'll see you there.

[A]

Hi, I'm Andy Staples from Andy and Ariane three. And another five star quarterback just entered the transfer portal. That's what college football is now, a non stop adventure. And we cover it every day at Andy and Ariane 3. Whether it's the transfer portal, the college football playoff, the coaching carousel, you name it. And guess what, it doesn't stop even when the season ends. So join us every day, Monday through Friday. New episodes drop at 3pm wherever you get your podcasts.

[B]

WSECU isn't just one of Washington's best credit unions. We're the only credit union to be on the Forbes best in state list five years running.

[A]

Why?

[B]

Because we put you first. Lower fees, early paydays, financial guidance and service second to none. As a member owned cooperative, we love Washington as much as you do. From the Olympic mountains to the rolling Palouse. Join us and discover how much we care about your financial well being. Because what we really do best is invest in you. Stop by, say hi, we're wsecu. Let's credit union.

[D]

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[E]

No, it was just before that. They had come to tell me that he had not made it and asked if we wanted to see him and that they were going to take him to a place that we could go and get him cleaned up. So I had to process that in the hallway. Still not really believing it though, hoping that they were wrong and then walking down the hallways, getting escorted up to that room, that's. I mean, that's when it really, truly sank in because he was just lying there.

[D]

How does one remember to breathe when that's going on? Were you doing any of that? I call plea bargaining with God or someone else or whoever it might be. Hey, don't let this be the case. Let it be something else. I'll do this, I'll do that, I'll do anything.

[E]

Oh, 100%. Yeah. The entire time I kept thinking, how am I going to do this? I have two children at home that are still sleeping, have no idea what's happened. They were five and three at the time. And yeah, there was, there's still kind of a love hate relationship with, with him right now. Just because I, I don't understand why. I mean, just if, based on, you know, the crash, you'd think it would be the other way around or both of them or it should have been neither of them, to be honest. But yeah, there was a lot of, a lot of playing with him is.

[D]

The thing that I'm, and I don't have a point of reference, you know, I can, I could tell people there's an old saying, and I say this all the time. Time heals all wounds. And for me that's not true. I just get more used to things. There's life before, for example, there's life before my Father got sick and died. There's life after. And there's no, there's nothing that makes it better. It just is what it is. I've become more accepting of it. Having said that, I. I sit here and think. My wife and I have been married now 21 years, been together 25, and I have these visions on my mind. I know she does too, of what her life is gonna be like. And I'm jokingly saying when I'm not, when I'm a geezer, I'm already there. When we're in our 70s and 80s and what our future is supposed to be, there has to be a feeling for you that that was stolen from you.

[E]

Oh, absolutely. So Jason and I started dating when I was 17, in 2005. I was still in high school. We dated for several years, got engaged, got married. We got married in 2009. We had our son in 2012, 2013, and then our daughter in 2017 or 2016. I'm sorry. So, I mean, we were, it. We were the power couple. We had. We had everything. So, you know, we were together for almost 15 years. So. Yeah, I mean, my whole life kind of ripped away from me because now I'm here trying to do this by myself. And as weird and, you know, odd as it may sound, I'm. I'm only 34. I'm. I'm too young to do the rest of my life by myself. Deep down, I know that I'm going to have to find love again. And that the scariest thing.

[D]

Yeah, don't even get me started on that conversation. I have no idea where to begin on that one. I'm serious.

[E]

Me either.

[D]

I was married before and police work really rephrase that. My inability to handle things better really destroyed my marriage. And then it went through a period of time, Kira, where I was convinced that this was not in the cards for me and I was living a lifestyle of denial, that I'm not going to get in close, I'm not going to get involved. It's not going to happen. Then I met my wife and everything changed. But before that, if you'd asked me, hey, would you get serious in a long term relationship with somebody? Remarry? I mean, no, that's never, ever going to happen again. Ever.

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

And I couldn't. I couldn't begin the process to think about it, and I didn't go through what you went through.

[E]

Right.

[D]

So here you are.

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

I mean, you're 34. That's so young still.

[E]

I was 32 when it happened. Yeah, I never, never thought I would become a 32 year old widow.

[D]

And then you got the whole line of duty police funeral to go through, which, for those who don't know, it is so big, so massive. I'm sure you were inundated with people all the time. Yeah. How would you describe that experience?

[E]

So, being a first responder myself, I have been a dispatcher for 15 years. I've done police, fire and EMS. So I think that's why we worked, our marriage worked so well, is because we got it. I mean, most of the time we were ships passing in the night, but somebody was always here with our kids. They were always being taken care of. Everybody got to sleep. I mean, it just, it always, always worked for us, no matter what department or what shift we were on. So, unfortunately, I had been to line of duty death previously, obviously not on the side of the widow. But that night at the hospital, Family Assistance Services comes and speaks with you and basically needs a poc, a point of contact, because this person is going to be your shadow for the next however many days. And of course, I picked my best friend, the same one that had showed up at my door. He was Jason's mentor when he started hpd. So, I mean, he. He really was my shadow for I can't even tell you how many days. But knowing what was to come with that, just. It was a lot because, like I said, I've been to them both on the fireside and the police side, and they are so incredibly. Even if you know nothing about law enforcement or first responder and you go to one of those funerals, you're going to leave bawling your eyes out.

[D]

Yeah.

[E]

But then having to go and make these arrangements and, you know, have all of this, the flag and everything handed to you, I mean, just heartbreaking. A lot of that week is kind of a fog. I don't even remember a lot of that.

[D]

Well, you're doing a great job talking about it, telling us about it. What I was gonna say is, you know, I'm married many ways, a stereotypical Irish Catholic guy, and I am great with getting along with people until I'm not, and then I can get very ugly. And I would see in your situation with the intensity and emotions and the lack of privacy and people being there all the time, the flying off the handle and yelling at people and saying, get away from me. Was that ever an issue for you? No.

[E]

I mean, a lot of people did kind of come out of the woodwork. I mean, it was on national television it's kind of a big deal. I mean every line of duty death is. But HPD has never had a fatal helicopter crash before.

[D]

We're taking this one short break. We are talking with Kieran Knox on the Law Enforcement Show. There's so much more to talk about. Don't go anywhere. We will be right back. I promise you. You don't want to miss what's heading your way. If you want to be a guest on the law enforcement talk radio show, simply contact us. It couldn't be easier. You can send us a message on Facebook, look for and like the Law Enforcement Talk radio show page or email jetradio.com that's J A Y etradio.com hi.

[A]

I'm Andy Staples from Andy and Ariane 3. And another five star quarterback just entered the transfer portal. That's what college football is now, a nonstop adventure. And we cover it every day at Andy and Ariane 3. Whether it's the transfer portal, the college football playoff, the coaching carousel, you name it. And guess what? It doesn't stop even when the season ends. So join us every day, Monday through Friday. New episodes drop at 3pm wherever you get your podcasts.

[B]

WSECU isn't just one of Washington's best credit unions. We're the only credit union to be on the Forbes Best in State list five years running. Why? Because we put you first. Lower fees, early paydays, financial guidance and service second to none. As a member owned cooperative, we love Washington as much as you do. From the Olympic mountains to the rolling Palouse. Join us and discover how much we care about your financial well being. Because what we really do best is invest in you. Stop by, say hi, we're wsecu let's credit union.

[C]

If you're an H Vac technician and a call comes in, Grainger knows that you need a partner that helps you find the right product fast and hassle free. And you know that when the first problem of the day is a clanking blower motor, there's no need to break a sweat. With Grainger's easy to use website and product detail tales, you're confident you'll soon have everything humming right along. Call 1-800-granger. Click granger.com or just stop by Granger for the ones who get it done.

[D]

Return conversation on the Law Enforcement show with Kira Knox. Kira's husband, Houston police officer Jason Knox was killed in a helicopter crash in London duty. He was a flight officer and she is talking about the death, the police funeral, her life after and how she Took that and her experience to create a booklet called the Guide for the Blue Bow foundation for Law Enforcement First Responder Families. Get more details [e-mail] that's B L U E B O W. O R G I know that you said earlier you had two small children at home and they had. They were totally unaware that, you know, this is going on. There had to come a point where you came home and you had to let them know. How does one even start that conversation?

[E]

I don't know. But I got home about 7am that morning from the hospital. They were still sleeping. Had all my family and friends here and they thought we should have a big sit down family thing. And I said, no, that I think that's going to be too hard. So I had to. Once they woke up, I took them one by one outside and had to explain to them on their level, because they were totally different, that their dad wasn't coming home. My son obviously took it harder because he's older and had a lot of questions. Jason, I always used to say he was an old soul. He's very, very smart and wanted to know why and what happened and what kind of injuries did daddy have and just things that I couldn't give him the answers to just yet. So he took it pretty hard. My daughter, she was only three at the time, so it didn't really sink into her. She just was like, okay, he's gone, he's in heaven, like. And they still have their moments every now and again, but eventually she's gonna not remember because she just turned five in November. And eventually a lot of that stuff is just gonna fade away, which I don't know if it's gonna make it easier or harder, but she'll have tons of pictures and memories and all the stories. So that's tough.

[D]

I really got. No, I'd love to have some sort of comeback that would make it all better, but I know I'm not God. I don't have those answers. And I'm really incredibly sad that you and your family had to go through this. But I'm also very grateful that you are talking about it because quite often we never heard. We don't get a chance to hear from the survivors of those. And. And you were 32 and you're widowed and you never saw this coming. You've got two young children home. You're trying to let them know. And then it's like, all right, we get to the police funeral, which is. We could do a show about that alone. And. And Then all of a sudden, people probably start falling away. They have their lives, they're busy. They have their families. Did they. Did they just start dropping off?

[E]

You know, you really do find out who your true friends are. A lot of people came initially and were there. And then people that I never expected to come in have been the ones that have stuck it. Stuck it out till today. I mean, just the groups of people that I have, the tribe, the village, because it literally takes a freaking village. I could not be more blessed on that. I have so many people that I could literally call, and they would, at the drop of a hat, would come running. So during that time, you know, everybody wants to help. Everybody wants to do all of these things, just wants to get their hands in to do something. Mow your yard, bring you 100 meals, feed an army, take care of your kids, take care of your pets. And going through that situation, you know, nobody knows all that information except me, but it's all over the place. And years, you know, months. Well, not years. Months have gone by. And I've met other widows who have gone through the same situation, and they come from a smaller department where they don't have the help and the services that HPD provides. So then they're left with doing all of this paperwork and their benefits and everything by themselves because they literally don't have anybody. So we kind of went off of that with the guide because there's so many people that come that want to come into your house, and this is a safe place that you can fill out everything that's pertinent in regards to you and your spouse and your family and your household that you can provide that information with anybody that needs to help. If you have one person that can just take over that guide and, you know, divvy out tasks or whatever for everybody. But we tried to think of everything as my experience. My. Like, my front door has a door code. Not everybody's gonna have a key. Not everybody's gonna have their own code. But if that's something you can provide to us, then, you know, whatever, unfortunately.

[D]

Except people that have been through this, people like me on the outside, could only imagine, and we think we know what to do, but quite often we don't. And that's a really powerless feeling.

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

Of all the things that you went through and learned in your journey, what would be the one thing you would tell other law enforcement agencies? Because you know this is going to happen. Other fire departments, other first responders, you know this is going to happen. Here's the One thing you don't think of, this is what you should do.

[E]

Get a will. Because we unfortunately did not have one and we had to go through probate. So get a will and get this guide, or if this is not your style, then get something where you can just put all that information on for other people to come in and just make it so much easier because bills have to get paid. Your children, their lives have to go on. Your lawn, your house, your car, your pets, everything still has to keep going. And a spouse is not in any kind of state of mind to be doing those things.

[D]

I want to go back to this needs that help. This guide. This is born from your experience and you decided you wanted to write this. You and some other survivors got together and put this together.

[E]

Kimberly kind of had the idea. She's had this dream and this hope for it, and she actually did the basis of it. And then I came in and added a lot more to it. From my experience.

[D]

Kimberly was on the show quite a while ago, a great episode. And it's about the birth of Blue Bow foundation and what they do. So you're heavily involved in writing this guide and this is something that every first responder family should have?

[E]

Yes.

[D]

Is it available online? Where can people get more information about it?

[E]

Yes, if you go to our website, bluebo.org and go under shop, you can get, for $5, you can get a PDF version. So you can literally just click the link, download it, fill it out, print it, keep it wherever you want to. Or for a $25 donation, you will get a hard copy and a binder with tabs and extra pockets and things. For business cards, I probably have a business card stack of a good like 4 inches from everything that happened because everybody's. Here's my card, here's my number. Call me if you need anything. All across the board.

[D]

So I was going to say you got my name and my number. You can call me if you need anything, but I don't know what to do. Even at this stage, I have no idea what to do. And I'll be honest with you, I don't. I don't know.

[E]

You know, even just the offer means.

[D]

So much, and I hate to say this, you've experienced the worst of the worst from the first responder's spouse. And are you available to help? Others are going through this and if so, how would they get in touch with you?

[E]

So well, I. So I'm the director of social media for the Blue Bow. I have been. I had gone to events and stuff hosted by the Blue Bow years previous. And then when my husband died they came in and did amazing food donations, just everything. They were absolutely amazing.

[D]

So can they get a hold of you right through this social media for Blue Bow?

[E]

I mean yeah, on Facebook you can message us or email, but yeah.

[D]

And their website is bluebo.org Kira, thanks so much for being a guest on the show. So very much appreciated.

[E]

Thank you for having me.

[D]

I'd like to thank our guests for coming on the Law Enforcement Talk Radio show. The Law Enforcement Talk Radio show is a nationally syndicated weekly radio show broadcast on numerous AM&FM radio stations across the country. We're always adding more affiliate stations. If you enjoyed the podcast version of the show, which is always free, please do me a favor and tell a friend or two or three. I'll be back with in just a few days with another episode of Law Enforcement Talk Radio show and Podcast. Until then, this is John J. Wiley. See ya.

[A]

Hi, I'm Andy Staples from Andy and Ariane three. And another five star quarterback just entered the transfer portal. That's what college football is now, a non stop adventure. And we cover it every day at Andy and Ariane 3. Whether it's the transfer portal, the college football playoff, the coaching carousel, you name it. And guess what? It doesn't stop even when the season ends. So join us every day, Monday through Friday. New episodes drop at 3pm wherever you get your podcasts.

[B]

WSECU isn't just one of Washington's best credit unions. We're the only credit union to be on the Forbes Best in State list five years running. Why? Because we put you first. Lower fees, early paydays, financial guidance and service second to none. As a member owned cooperative, we love Washington as much as you do. From the Olympic mountains to the rolling Palouse. Join us and discover how much we care about your financial well being. Because what we really do best is invest in you. Stop by, say hi, we're wsecu. Let's Credit Union.

[C]

If you're an H Vac technician and a call comes in, Grainger knows that you need a partner that helps you find the right product fast and hassle free. And you know that when the first problem of the day is a clanking blower motor, there's no need to break a sweat. With Grainger's easy to use website and product details, you're confident you'll soon have everything humming right along. Call 1-800-GRAINGER clickgranger.com or just stop by Grainger for the ones who get it done.

[D]

Happy Holidays. Want to give your host a gift? Consider subscribing, rating and reviewing the show this holiday season Season. It really helps the show grow from all of us at Believe. Have a Merry Christmas everyone and a Happy Holiday. If you like the show, please take a moment to rate, review and subscribe. It really does help the show to grow. Thank you for listening.