Loading summary
Transcript49 lines
- [00:00]
A
Foreign.
- [00:05]
B
Welcome back to the Lead Worship well podcast. My name is Stuart and I'm honored to be your host for today's episode. Today we get to sit down with Taya to talk about her latest album, the Reminder. We talk about the journey of writing a second solo album. The importance of trust and surrender and remembering the person of Jesus and his goodness to us. I hope today's conversation encourages you. Hey, thank you so much for joining us on the podcast today. How are you doing today?
- [00:35]
A
I'm so good, Stuart. Thank you for having me. It's such an honor to get to be here. And the sun technically is out. It doesn't look like it is here in California, but hey, we got another day, so I'm pumped.
- [00:47]
B
Oh, it has been brutally hot here in Tennessee the last couple of days. No way. It's. Oh, man, like probably like 108 with the humidity. It's been so hot. But, you know, I'd rather be hot than cold. I spent most of my life in the north, so this is good for me. I like it. I've actually. So this is a little bit of like an off kilter question at the beginning, but, like, I have literally been dying. I've always told myself, like, if I ever meet Day, I have to ask her. So I need to know if you have ever seen the Ocean's drummer video from like 10 years ago where the guy's like just going crazy on the drums in between each instrumental. Have you seen that video?
- [01:31]
A
Oh, yeah. Oh yeah. Multiple times. And I have two things that pop up in my mind about that. The first one is I wonder if this is the pastor's kid, as in he's just been given permission, like, and I will say the girl who's leading it. Truly, it's so, so pure hearted and so worshipful. And I also came from a tiny church where there was maybe three people at a time on the worship team. Four, if you're like genuinely, you know, fortunate that morning and if 25 people were in the service, it's like, oh, Jesus is coming back. Like, this is remarkable because it was such a small. So I, I so resonate. And I don't. We didn't even have like a proper church building. We're in like a community center, which is just like one room of like many different rooms, you know, used by the community that Sunday. And so when I look at that, I just. Oh, I'm just like, yes, the Lord sees your heart and this is so beautiful. And then that guy also just was like, this is the moment that I'm going to worship the Lord with everything I have within me, especially the double kick.
- [02:37]
B
Yeah, it's so impressive, honestly.
- [02:41]
A
I'll tell you what I find just a fraction more impressive is the fact that my drummer, Zach Mullings, can literally do that. It's. Cause he's so good. He literally does the exact. He basically just rips it off and just does everything that guy does in the exact same way during rehearsals. So it'll catch me, like, off guard. Like, we'll be just practicing, and then he'll just launch into it, like. And I'm just like, oh, my word. It nails it every time. It's incredible. Impeccable. And this is a guy, you know, went to Berkeley, is currently studying, you know, like, doing all of the things, and he just somehow is just like. He just does it with a deadpan face as well. And I'm just like, I know you love this. So it's brought many people so much joy.
- [03:24]
B
I was going to say, like, I remember discovering that video when I was studying worship in college, and that over, like, 10 plus years, that video has brought me so much joy. I rediscovered it when we. When I was preparing for this conversation. I was in tears this afternoon. Like, this is the best video on the Internet. It's so, so good. I love it.
- [03:45]
A
It's the gift that just keeps on giving. And I'm sure in a couple of years, we'll just be like, you know what? I just need to see the.
- [03:55]
B
That makes me so happy that you've seen it. I've wondered for years. I'm like, I wonder if they know. Like, they have to know. Like, it's so iconic. That's hilarious.
- [04:04]
A
I hope that if when people think of oceans, they think of that video as well, that would impress my life.
- [04:12]
B
Oh, man, that video has brought me so much joy over the. Well, congratulations. I know we're a couple of months behind, but you released your sophomore album back in April, which is a huge deal. Congratulations on that.
- [04:24]
A
Very kind.
- [04:25]
B
How has that, like, process been for you, like, since the release, have there been any stories or things that have, like, come back to you? Like, man, this is, like, really cool how God's been using this album over the last couple of months.
- [04:37]
A
Yeah, well, you're very kind. I feel like I'm so bad with the correct, like, terminology. So when people say sophomore, I'm like, I had to research that before the album was coming out because everyone kept saying that.
- [04:48]
B
I was like, it was in my knowledge. I didn't Come up with it.
- [04:53]
A
But yeah, it's. I've only done two records, you know, as a solo worship leader artists. And what's crazy is the build up that like, you know, leads to this, like, point. And in our instance, the last, like, I would say, like six to eight months before the record came out, it was even more so crazy. Like, we didn't have management for that, like, final piece and part of it. So it was quite wild. Like, a lot of it just like on the shoulders of my husband and myself and, you know, trying to come up with, like, plans and social media stuff and like, announcements and this and just, you know, the schedule and all the things. And so there was quite a moment of. At the end of that week, you know, so it comes out, you know, Thursday night, 9pm and it's just getting released into the world. There is a sense of, like, it truly is. If you've birthed something and there's a release and a relief and you're just like, I can't believe it's like finally out. And it felt like we had been really intentional that week as well, perhaps in a way that it hadn't been for the first record of just wanting every day to point intentionally to something towards the album or just really getting to tell the story of what God's done in and through, you know, myself and my family through this record and just tell the story of God's faithfulness, which I'm so grateful that his faithfulness is not our own. So grateful that, you know, he actually defines that word. Praise God. Because I'm flawed, I'm a human, I fail, a sinner, need Jesus. And constantly, you know, having to put myself back on the altar because for some reason I've taken myself off and I thought, no, I can't do this. And no, God, you're not enough. And repent and say, I'm sorry I doubted and I feared. And it's the thing that you told me not to do right at the start, like, do not worry about your life. Look at the birds of the air. And so it's been a wild time of release. And in his kindness, you know, through like little DMs and little side conversations. And when you get to then now steward, because even though you have that birthing moment, just like a baby, the heart, you think, like, great, like, cool. Let's just take a moment. It's like, no, now you're in like the three month. Just like wild, like whirlwind of a. Of a time with a newborn where it's like you're getting used to feeding schedules. This little human you are responsible for the rest of their entire life. Like it's like now the real hard work actually starts. And I think when we had come from that six to eight months of just absolute pressing and it was a stretch and we were unmutes to other people living out of suitcases for five and a half months with at the time a six month old who then turned one trying to steward this record and also the opportunities that we had been given as a family to go around the world, minister and do a record that we hadn't necessarily put time in the calendar for. And yet here we were and it was just wild. So we didn't feel like we had a lot in the tank left to give, even though we still had the stewardship section to go, which was, you know, my first headline US tour and so many things. So I've come out of this stretched, but with stories to tell of the faithfulness of God yet again and the fact that even if we fail, even if we deny him, he remains faithful, for he cannot deny himself. You know, my husband and I have been now in the last little while since the album's come out, we've sat down and had intentional conversations so that we don't find ourselves in the same year again, that we have a bit of space when it's like it's album time. Let's not travel to Singapore and let's not travel here and let's not travel, you know, even though God was working in the midst of all of that and he's so gracious and so kind and met us, you know, even in situations that we've felt like we'd put ourselves in and was just like, ah, Lord, what are we doing here? And so it's been an incredibly sweet, refueling kind of time and we've read some good books in, in the meantime that have, you know, are going to help us set our intentions in a better way with this next record that's going to come and what that looks like. So, yeah, so much release and relief.
- [09:04]
B
Yeah, I can imagine. So I love that concept of, you know, I think in my own life I've discovered that usually when I reach my own limits, that's where I usually find God. Like I usually find him waiting right there at the end. And when I feel really stressed and at my limit and I'm like, I can't do this, like I can't handle this, that's almost always, usually I find him waiting Right there. Be like, I've got it. Like, you know, I've never been left wanting when it comes to encountering God in that space. Yes, you wrote, like, a really awesome kind of, like, open letter when you announced the album. And one of the things you said in there kind of really stuck out to me. You said, like, you know, in regards of writing, you're doing your own solo albums. It's kind of like you have all the time in the world for the first album, and then it feels like you never have enough time for the second album. And worship music, I mean, as you know, is just very unique because it carries this, like, kind of spiritual significance. And it's not just sitting down to write a song. It's how do we partner with what the Lord wants to do and what we write and what we put out there into the world? And so I kind of wanted to hear a little bit about how did you balance that? You know, you're feeling like, I don't necessarily have enough time for the second album. And you're feeling that pressure and you're feeling that press. How did you continue to make time to make sure that you were hearing from the Lord during that time and during that season as you're preparing to do a second album?
- [10:29]
A
I would say, I mean, I have to, again, come back to, like, the kindness of God and the faithfulness of God before we started writing for this record. And even though I didn't feel, like, ready to go into the next one. Cause you just pour so much, you know, in the first record, but then also then the stewardship of it, and you're starting to travel and feeling peace about opportunities and going forth and going, hey, God, you've anointed and graced us for this. And we're just testing it out, like, where's the anointing? Where is it not? And just learning how to steward all that. So even though I've traveled with united for over 10 years, to do it by yourself, where you are technically like the tip of the. The sphere or the arrowhead, per se, that was all new to me and so still new. And then I just sensed the Lord's kindness that before everything was to happen and proceed for the next two years for this, you know, the Reminder album to eventuate, God gave me a word, and I just have to say, he's so kind when you, you know, if you seek me, if you seek me with all of your heart, like, you'll find me. I love that he's not trying to hide. I love that he's there. Even if we think that he's being silent, he's present. He doesn't. And I've just come back to that time and time again because right at the start of that year, I'll never forget 26th of January, God in his kindness when I set time aside to hear from him before everything else. And I'm so grateful because if I had not had that word. You know, we believe that the word of God is life. It's like life to our bones, like we're to meditate on the word of God. It's something that Jesus, when he was in the wilderness being tempted by Satan, what did he have? He didn't have food and water. He actually, you know, man doesn't live by bread alone, but on every word that God says, you know, and so there's something to this. And so I'm just grateful that when I set the time aside and I waited, God so graciously came. And in a very unexpected way, he was speaking to me through birds. And then it sounds crazy, like a, a, a bright blue bird caught my attention and I was just like enamored by the color. I love makeup and metallics and all this kind of stuff. And you know, the Lord speaks to each one of us differently. And I was like, I've never seen a bird like that. Like, that's crazy. It's amazing color. And then it flew into the air and then my eyes were drawn up to see some eagles just soaring. And I felt like the Holy Spirit just like dropped into my heart in that moment. Eagle saw to then, you know, kindness of God confirming his word. So I opened up my devotion that I've read for over 10 years. You know, Oswald Chambers, my utmost for his highest. It's like one of my favorite gifts to give people because it's spoken. Yeah. To my life many, many times. And it's also not always the easiest devotional to read because it's not like a quick five minute thing. It's like you need to meditate on this and you've got the scripture and there's other scriptures in there as well. And I'm so grateful for that gentleman and his wife because she's the whole reason that we even have the publication in our hands. Crazy story. I encourage anyone to read about Vidi Chambers and Oswald Chambers. But I opened it and it's so crazy that the verse for that day was if that is how God clothes the grass of the field and then also talks about the birds of the air. Look at the birds of the air. Like, how much more will he not clothe you and look after you? And I was like, what are the chances that the verse is talking about birds? And it was that word that held me through all the craziness, that held me through all the, you know, the wildness of what I didn't know was coming. Because it was a reminder for me in that devotional. I'll just go down to it. To be simple is to concentrate on our relationship with Jesus. We slip out of spiritual communion when we complicate things. Classic worrying and overthinking, insisting we know better than God. We get lost in the cares of the world and we forget the promise of much more. Jesus compares us to the birds of the air in Matthew 6:26. Their only goal is to obey the principle of life inside of them. What principle is inside of us? My version was a little earlier. It says they were just obeying the instincts that God has placed on the inside of them. And it felt like the Holy Spirit was just like flagging to me, hey, you don't have to overcomplicate this. You don't have to overthink this. You don't have to try to, like, like, you know, if you're talking about, like, how do you get into that space of writing? How do you. When you feel like you have no time? I felt like for me personally, the Lord was saying, everything that I have done in your life up to this point has been my work, and you need to be obedient to what I've done on the inside, and you need to trust me. So when I started talking about obeying the instincts on the inside, I started researching about eagles because that was part of the word that God gave me. And what's crazy is nobody knows how eagles actually catch thermals that allow them to soar. Whatever their DNA make up the way that God has created birds, the way that he's created the feathers, everything else. No one knows how they actually get into those thermal convection currents that allow them to soar. Just that they do, but when they do, it allows them to be able to come up to a certain level, to be able to see things differently, to be able to fly with ease as less effort involved because they're soaring. And it felt like God's like, you just need to chill out and you need to trust Me, and you need to trust that I place the instincts on the inside of you. And you're not going to have to strive, you're not going to have to force this because let's be honest, like, let's think about a service when you're worship leading, there is nothing worse than striving. And there's a difference between, like leading and striving. And I want to be in the slipstream, I want to be in the soar with the Holy Spirit, where I'm in his slipstream, where I'm trusting that he's bringing that wind, he's bringing that convection current. And I'm just soaring with Jesus. And I'm seeing what he wants me to see because I'm up higher and I'm not caught up on the things, you know, the cares of this world and the things that I shouldn't be looking at. And I'm actually seeing things from his perspective. And I'm just so grateful. Again, I have to testify, I will have the flag waved for the rest of my life. Of the kindness and the faithfulness of God, that he spoke that before everything else. So that when it felt like in moments when the pressing was too much or it felt like he was saying that stretch moment where you're just like, this is too much for me. And it's like, remember I said I'm enough. Remember that I dwell on the inside of you. And remember that I'm here and I'm present. I've already spoken and you need to hold to the words and you need to take that moment and go, I repent, God, for striving. I repent for thinking this is in my own ability. And I need to listen for you because I know that you're here. I know that you're present. I know that you don't leave and never come back. Like, you're here, you're present. And so it was a constant coming back to that moment. And. And to be honest, I think it's a constant repentance of I'm so sorry, God, thinking I can do this in my own strength. Because again, nothing good comes out of that.
- [17:21]
B
Yeah, that's such a beautiful picture. The eagles. Think I actually didn't know that about the whole thermal. We don't know exactly how. It's so fascinating to me because one of the lessons I've learned over the last couple of years is just there's just so much in life that is completely outside of my control. I do myself no favors by trying to control and try to manipulate and try to control how other people perceive me and control what happens in my career. And I try to control all these different things. And you know, the idea of surrender, like the Eagle has no control over where the thermals will happen, where they can soar, that has no control over that. That's all nature on its own. And in the same way, like, we have no control over where and when God decides to move, but we can be present when he does and we can learn to just let him work and soar with it. Like, I just love that picture. I think it just takes the pressure away from having to be perfect, having to have it figured out, having to have the perfect song and having to be like, man, this song and this set's gonna be do perfect and it's gonna absolutely crush on Sunday. Like, that's just not something that's pressure for us. Like, God's gonna work either way.
- [18:35]
A
We don't seem to see, say birds or like animals, you don't seem to see them striving or stressing, like there's such an enjoyment. Like, I think you would be hard pressed to find an eagle soaring in the sky and just being like, like, oh, this sucks. Or like, oh my gosh, like just, you know, what about the wind capacity? Like how many miles am I going? Like, I'm pretty sure, like you couldn't help but in that moment, just enjoy it and just enjoy. Like if I put myself in like an eagle's. I was gonna say shoes, claws kind of got claws. Like, how nice. Like you just get to enjoy the presence of God. You're here, God, I so sense you're here because I'm experiencing what you have for me. And I think like you were saying, like so often we can get caught up in here, which I feel like is just the enemy is just loving to assault this. And whether it's distraction, whether it's anxiousness, whether it's a lie, I feel like old mates playground trying to come at us. Imagine if I was able to put on the helmet of salvation and completely trust God and completely surrender, obviously being a good steward of everything that he's asked me to do. You know, everything that your hand finds to do, do it with all thy might, as unto the Lord, negating certain things that we shouldn't, you know, be doing and whatnot. But imagine if we just enjoyed how much simpler and more beautiful perhaps life in these moments would end up being because we were just taking moments to enjoy. Ah, Like I'm in the slipstream with you, Holy Spirit, and you're leading and I just. Yeah, something that I'm trying to do and be more intentional about is enjoying and also just celebrating those moments when they come with God and with family.
- [20:26]
B
Yeah. I think the idea of, like, you mentioned, like, kind of taking the time to make space for those moments, and, you know, it's like a muscle we can. We can learn to grow over our time, over our relationship with God. I know for me, I spent a lot of my early years expecting everything to be, like, an audible voice from God. Like, if I'm hearing from him, that means, like, he's saying, hey, Stuart, by the way, here's, you know, calling me on my cell phone.
- [20:53]
A
I wish.
- [20:53]
B
And. Oh, that'd be so nice. I remember one time, very specifically, I was, like, supposed to make a choice about if I was going to go join this. This church plan or if I was going to stay planted where I was at. And I remember one time just going on a walk and praying, and I asked God, like, you know, it would just be so nice if you could just, like, paint it in the sky, like, just write it in the clouds, tell me exactly where I'm supposed to go and what decision I'm supposed to make. And obviously that didn't happen, but I felt like this. It was just all of a sudden, I just had this feeling of like. Like God was saying to me, you can't step outside of my will. You can serve me at either place. Like, as long as you are serving me. Like, you can serve me well, wherever. And it just, like, took the pressure away. But you were talking about, like, opening the scripture and reading about the eagles and, like, noticing the bird and noticing the eagle. And that just so happened to be the part from my utmost, from his highest. And, you know, I think for the longest time, I just wrote that off as coincidence. I wrote those instances off as coincidence or like, oh, that's weird. And now, over the years, I just kind of like, man, I feel like that sometimes is the still small voice of the Lord connecting some dots for me in a very real way so I can hear what he's having to say. Like, hear the. To catch the word that he wants to give to me 100%. I love, like, you were able to. I love that story of just taking that small moment and letting God speak to you in that way.
- [22:23]
A
Well, you're probably going to laugh because what I didn't tell you was just before I, like, then turned to my devotional that day, I did a flick and pick, which I never do.
- [22:34]
B
I've done that before. Yep.
- [22:38]
A
You know, we're made in the image of God. And I do think he has a sense of humor because I'm like, Of course he delights in us. His creation wants to be innately involved in our lives, gave us free will, and so doesn't force himself on us. Like, he loves for God to love the world that he gave his only son. There's so much love and intention. And I also think God has a sense of humor because also, I was gonna take my AirPod out, but I feel like that's gonna mess up the sound. But, like, what is an ear? An ear is the funniest thing with all the different shapes. Like, different. Like, if you're talking about some worship leaders and you've got, like, in ears, like, go. Like, everyone has a different, even inner part of. You know, it's weird. There's hair and it grows, and it's just crazy. And so I'm like, God has a sense of humor. Like, he made that. I reckon he laughed when he was like, oh, this is gonna be sick. Like, it's gonna be really key, vital part of their body. But I'm gonna make it, like, look funny and everyone's gonna have different lobes, you know, And I love that. Yeah. So I think he's got a sense of humor. So to be honest, in that moment when I was. I feel like you're speaking to me through birds. I'm just gonna do, like, a fun. I feel like he maybe laughed in that moment. And I did a flick and pick and kid you not, I'll get it up. My finger just landed and I, like, looked, and it was Proverbs 23, verses 4 to 5. So this is before the my utmost for his highest. Like verse pertaining to birds. This is Proverbs 23, verse 4 and 5. Do not weary yourself to gain wealth. Cease from your consideration of it. When you set your eyes on it, it is gone. For wealth certainly makes itself wings like an eagle that flies towards the heavens.
- [24:25]
B
Oh, man.
- [24:28]
A
And if I'm honest, one, like, I've never done a flick and peek in my entire life as far as I can, like, remember. Sorry. That was my. My utmost falling. Let alone the fact that he's been speaking to me about eagles. And also, it's not the connotation that I, you know, think. Like, we, hopefully we all know that song. Like Eagle's Wings. Ruben Morgan. Beautiful. You know, that I will saw, you know, on eagle's wings. That's the connotation I'm thinking. And it was like that for other things. But the Lord was actually dealing with my heart right at the start because it says, do not weary yourself to gain wealth. Cease from your consideration of it. I was like, wait, am I worried about money? Am I worried about making enough? Am I worried about, like, is that something that's, like, taking the forefront of this journey? When you set your eyes on it, it's gone. For wealth certainly makes itself wings like an eagle that flies towards the heaven. So then, to be honest, that started a repentance kind of moment with the Lord where I was like, if I reference the scripture, that was for the Oswald chambers. It's Matthew 6, where God's like, in my Bible, it says the cure for anxiety. And it says, like, look at the birds of the air. Look at the flowers of the field, the grass that's there one day and gone the next. You know, God clothes those flowers in the most incredible fabric and garb better than the richest man in history, which is Solomon. If God clothes the flowers in better clothing, how much more will he not clothe you and know what you need before you ask? Like, it was really dealing with, do I trust you? Do I trust that you will provide for me? I didn't know at the time that I was up on that mountain, but I was actually pregnant with our first child.
- [26:17]
B
Wow.
- [26:17]
A
And when we came over to the States, I was technically, because my husband was here, 100% beside me, supporting us financially. That was my role. And it was a crazy thing that God was like, hey, I just want you to know, like, I'm your provider. I'm the one that is leading you guys. And if you just continually look at the flowers, if you continue to look at the birds of the air, if you continue to look at the grass and see my care for them, you will be reminded how much more will I care for you and provide for you and know what you need before you even ask. And so I just love that the Lord had to deal with that part of it. And it was kind of this cool moment when I think in that moment of just, like, hands open, it was like, I repented and then I just put it back in God's hand. You are the provider. I'm not. Whatever needed to be settled in my heart seemingly just was, like, settled. Still not perfect, still had to repent, still had to come back to that many times over and remind myself, you know, I didn't put myself here. We try to come up with plans for our lives and my career and this. And is this going to be the greatest move and all, like God says to you, you can flourish in whatever place. Like, you had a sense of peace, of, like, if you Go here. I'm going to be there if you go here. Like, I just think he's more gracious and more kind and well able in all the ways to provide and to be who he says he is. And sometimes we overcomplicate things. Sometimes we. It's like we're trying to wrestle control back from God, which is just hilarious. Unfortunately.
- [27:59]
B
I unfortunately, do that a little too much sometimes.
- [28:01]
A
Yeah, it's like he's God, we're not. He sees everything we don't. He's the beginning and the end and everything in between. Knows what we should do. Shouldn't we just put our lives back in his hands and go, you know better than I do, and I'm just gonna work with all my might for everything that you would put in my hand. But I'm gonna go like this and keep it open. And you can do whatever you want. You can take it out, you can put it back in. You could make me wait. You could. But to be with you is the prize. And I just wanna be with you the whole way through. And I can't wait to be with you at the end. And I don't have to wait for then, you know, we can enjoy your presence. And I think it's just simplifying the older I get. I'm now 36 and I had to think about that for a second. That's when you know you're getting old.
- [28:48]
B
That's when you kind of stop keeping track.
- [28:50]
A
Yeah, yeah. You're like, wow, I didn't really celebrate that well, but I need to. Life is seemingly becoming simpler and constantly just having to put yourself back on the altar and go, lord, you're the prize. And I just want to be found doing my father's business and letting everything else that's not fall to the wayside.
- [29:13]
B
And I so relate to that. You know, when I think about the scripture where God says, you know, he wants us to kind of, like, the fullness of life, I feel like I have started to rediscover that in the last couple of years as I've kind of taken a step back from trying to, like, have an answer for everything and trying to have, like, control over everything. I mean, not to get super, like, too personal, but I actually just yesterday, I've been going to therapy every week for five years in a row. And yesterday my therapist said, actually, you're in a really good spot. What do you think about taking a break? And, man, like, I just can't even begin to say how grateful I am for how God has met me and how much God has brought me through. Like going from checking myself into treatment because I couldn't not have a panic attack every single day. And I look back and I'm like, I was trying to control so much. I was trying to control the growth of my church. I was trying to control how the music was going to sound. I was trying to control my role in it. I was trying to control, you know, how people perceived me, whether or not I was the pastor who had the answer or not. And to be in a place now where God's kind of taught me like, you know, maybe let me handle that, maybe let me handle who comes your direction. Maybe let me handle giving you the answers when you need to have them. And maybe people need to see me more than they need to see you, in your opinion. And man, life has been so much more full. I've been able to see God in the small things because of that.
- [30:44]
A
Able to smell the flowers, able to take a step back and go, this came from all of your hand. Every good thing in my life, you're the giver of all good gifts. Like every good thing in my life actually has been from you. And you've graciously let me do the things that I love, the gifts and the talents you've put in my hand and in my life to glorify you. If it's any consolations, Joy, I feel like all of us, and I can speak for myself, constantly having to learn that, that lesson of surrender which they all kind of run into each other, don't you think? Surrender and trust and faith. I don't really think you can have one without the other. And sometimes we like highlight one. But it's like to completely surrender means that I trust you, God, and I trust that you know more than I do. And to be able to do that means I have to have faith in who you are, faith in your character, faith in. To truly be able to trust open handedly is like, I also need to be able to have faith and I also need to be able to completely surrender because otherwise I'm gonna like maybe put like two fingers over and just like holding it kind of, you know, so just to encourage you like one also how amazing that you were like, okay, well I need help. And there are people who God has completely gifted them and put in their hands the tools and the ability to be able to unpack what's going on in here. To encourage you. I spent a year, every two weeks, didn't matter where I was in the entire world. And I saw someone regularly, a psychotherapist who was filled with the Holy Spirit and didn't matter if I talked about everything else in that session, right? Like, she'd always come back around and she'd be like, I just want to touch. And I was like, ah, the Holy Spirit told you
- [32:38]
B
somehow always had a
- [32:39]
A
way, you know, the way the truth and the life and the truth will set you free.
- [32:43]
B
And amen.
- [32:45]
A
It's just amazing when you allow the Lord to work and sometimes it seemingly seems in mysterious ways and in different ways than you expected, but how beautiful. So for me, it took a year that the Lord took me on a journey to be able to unlock certain parts of my heart that felt like they'd been completely closed up. And it was amazing to have that moment when it's like, we'll still see each other but maybe we, it's less sorry, more time can be had before, you know, meeting up again. And I'll be forever grateful for that relationship and even for my friend who highly encouraged me and kind of lowered me down the roof to Jesus in those moments. And so yeah, it seems like this is a lifelong journey to learn to surrender yet again, to learn to trust yet again and to have faith in who he says he is. And I think that comes down to as well, like are we putting ourselves in positions and places to learn more about him, to learn more about his character and you know, see the evidence of it. He's doing his wonderful work all the time. But I just pray that it's not that when we get to heaven that we just, you know, see the evidence there and go, I wish I trusted so much more wholeheartedly. That's something that Oswald Chambers wife said after her husband passed away. And she felt her, I guess, mission in life was to continue the calling in her life was to continue to put into publication everything that Oswood had spoken because she was writing in shorthand in the back of every room that he was like sharing, you know, these sermons to many different people. And a whole reason we have that book is because she continued to believe that that was her calling and they were, she was raising their four year old daughter because he'd randomly just tragically passed away after having his appendix out. And she just remained faithful and trusted God and crazy that, you know, over 100 years later I have been completely impacted in my relationship with God through someone else's obedience. So like, who knows the thing that you feel called to do, even if you are like, I don't really know the fruit of this, and I don't really see it on this side of eternity. Does it really matter, Lord, maybe 100 years from now, someone is going to be impacted by your faithfulness because you have remained confident of the faithfulness of God, even though you're not seeing it perhaps in your lifetime. I definitely need to have more of an eternity perspective, more than not.
- [35:29]
B
What a beautiful story, too. Just God can really speak through anything and use anything. And the results, when we leave the results, up to him. Like man, how far can he take what is just a small, tiny little offering? Just publishing what Oswald had already wrote. And look at 100 years later, it's still affecting and helping people connect with God in ways that I'm sure neither of them could have ever have imagined. I think that's wonderful, truly. You actually mentioned a little bit about a particular phrase from that day from the devotional. I think it was look again and consecrate was like this phrase that really stuck out to you from that day. Can you. Can you talk a little bit about the. The experience there? And. And, and what about that phrase was meaningful to you?
- [36:17]
A
Yeah. So, I mean, I'm gonna pull that up just because it's. I'm just gonna, like, dumb it down. For me, the simplicity of just like, Even the meanings of those names, like those words, the meanings of the three words, felt timely. And so to look is to gaze. To direct one's gaze towards someone or something in a specified direction, again means another time, once more. And lastly, consecrate is to make or to declare something sacred, to dedicate formally to a religious or divine purpose. And I just, like, summarize all of that. I just said I was to look up, directing my gaze to Jesus, believing that he's in the second record, and once again declare making known among the nations who he is and what he's done. And it just felt like the kindness of the Lord, you know, I feel like I'm a pretty simple human being. And so when I'm looking and staring, what I know is going to be like a mountainous kind of terrain and a whole bunch of work, you know, to get to this, like, birthing, like, an album. I was just, to be honest, like, overwhelmed and like, oh, gosh, like, what? How. You know, I. It was so much work the first time. Here we go again. And it just felt like God's like, look at me again, look to me again and consecrate like, to make something sacred, to view it as such. I'm even being convicted now. For this next one, like, as I'm, like, doing, I'm like, oh, gosh, did I do it in the way that I should? And wanting to do that again and to just results in all of that stuff, like, how it connects with people. And God is so kind and gracious to share testimonies, but that can't be my goal. Numbers and streaming, that isn't the goal. It's like, that's the Lord's work, you know? I'll never forget one of the older brothers, Joel. He said, we're going to build the best boat that we ever can to the most, like, excellent degree. And then however God chooses to use that boat or not, to blow his wind on it or not, that's not our terrain. We completely leave that up to Him. And I just love that it's in the same kind of vein as that, as, like, look at me again, enjoy me again, look at me full in the face. Enjoy my presence, getting to be together. And then you consecrate that thing, then you make it sacred and you place it back on the altar and you give it to me completely. And I just love that. It was a reminder, even for me personally. I'll never forget sitting on a plane. I actually traveled with Younger Free first before traveling with United States. And I'm reading my Bible, and I think we were coming over to the States to be a part of a youth conference. It was like, who are we? Like, this is crazy. Like, you know, still feel like that. And I remember reading the Bible, like, make known among the nations what it is that he has done. And I had this, like, little kid where I was like, the fulfillment of Scripture is happening now because we are going to a different nation that we're not from, and we are making known in that nation what it is that he has done. And I've always. I've come back to that so many times. Like, that's part of what I feel like I'm called to do, to not magnify my thoughts, to not magnify what I think, like, to make known in the nations what is it he's done, who he is and what he's done. Jesus Christ and Him crucified and him resurrected, just keeping it that simple. And so, again, like, I feel convicted and grateful just even for this conversation and this reminder of, like, look again, look to Jesus again and consecrate it to him. So I would say, for every person, in whatever way, in whatever you're doing, look to God again, look to Jesus, enjoy his presence. Enjoy getting to commune with him like that is like a mind blowing thing that the God of the universe who created the heavens and the earth, set the stars in place with his hand, the work of his fingers, calls each one by name that he is so innately wanting to be involved in our lives, knit us to. Imagine being God. Sorry, this is like a little aside. Imagine being God who knit us together in our mother's wombs and we don't want to give him the time of day. Imagine being the person who like took absolute delight in like placing your muscles by the bones and coloring your eyes and we wouldn't even look him in the face because I'm busy. Look again. Enjoy him. Realize that he took absolute delight in making you and consecrate everything before him like again. He knows best. And how beautiful that we get a choice to bring him our lives and go, God, this is for you. May this be unto your the glory of your name, not mine. Look again and consecrate. Thank you Jesus for His words.
- [41:21]
B
Man, that's so good. I love that concept. I love it so much. I think I've similarly just discovered that every time I choose to open the Word, every time I choose to spend time with the Lord, he is so infinite and vast that every time I can find something new that I missed before, a new part of his personality, a new idea of just how much he loves me. And like, so, you know, the idea of looking again, it's like, it's not like I'm looking at the same, like I'm looking at the same God, but like I get to understand more of who he is every time I do.
- [41:57]
A
Yes.
- [41:58]
B
I think that's part of the promise. When he. He says like, look and like, seek, knock and the door will be open to you. Look and you will find. Like, you know, if you look for me, you will find me. I love it so, so much. Well, we're a little bit over time, but Taya, thank you so, so much for sitting down, having this conversation. It's been meaningful to me. Hopefully it's encouraging to some others as well. And I'll absolutely be praying for album number three and looking forward to it.
- [42:23]
A
You are very kind, Stuart. It's been lovely to get to talk about Jesus and what he's been doing, you know, in my life and in your life as well. It's always edifying. I don't think he can say his name and he doesn't come close, you know, it's just, it's felt really sweet too. Thank you for having me. And I do pray that it's like in whatever way that it needs to be, that it would be like broken bread and poured out wine for people. You know, when we get to share about who Jesus is and what he's done, that other people would realize. One very normal human beings and just trying to surrender trust and look at him and consecrate again and have faith to believe that he is who he says he is. And may they see the Lord's, you know, work and hand in their own life as well.
- [43:11]
B
Amen. Amen. Well, thank you so much for joining us and very much look forward to talking again sometime.
- [43:18]
A
Thank you. Let's do it again. Sounds good. Absolutely.