The Church Leaders Role When Someone Struggles with Pornography - Leading Saints Podcast

Summary3 min read

Podcast Summary: Leading Saints Podcast — The Church Leader's Role When Someone Struggles with Pornography

Host: Kurt Frankham
Guest Speaker: Tara McCausland
Release Date: June 23, 2026

Overview of Episode's Main Theme

This episode features a candid, insightful segment by Tara McCausland about the essential role church leaders play when ministering to individuals and families affected by pornography use. The discussion is part of the upcoming "Liberating Saints Virtual Summit," emphasizing actionable spiritual and practical guidance for Latter-day Saint leaders. Tara provides a practical framework for leaders to view themselves as "first responders"—delivering immediate support, offering spiritual direction, and then connecting people with specialized resources, rather than bearing the full weight of the problem themselves.

Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Church Leaders as First Responders

Timestamp: [01:08]

Analogy to Paramedics:
- Tara likens church leaders to paramedics in an emergency. Just as paramedics provide frontline care and stabilize a patient before transferring them to specialists, leaders are often the "first stop" for individuals or couples struggling with pornography.
The Importance of Education:
- "You need to get a little bit of education...specifically around this issue because I know how prevalent it is."
  — Tara McCausland [02:00]
- Tara recommends beginning with "the nine best practices" for church leaders as a succinct entry point to understanding the issue.
Defining the Leader's Main Roles:
- Provide spiritual guidance.
- Help individuals understand their identity as sons or daughters of God.
- Provide hope by directing them to Jesus Christ.
- Refer them to specialized therapeutic or counseling support as needed.

2. Team-Based Approach to Healing

Timestamp: [02:56]

"You are an important part of the care team, but you are not the team."
— Tara McCausland
Tara stresses that complete healing and recovery extend beyond the leader’s office and involves a combination of spiritual, emotional, and professional support.

3. Directing Individuals Toward the Savior

Timestamp: [03:30]

A core responsibility is “pointing them to God as their primary source of relief” and hope, rather than relying entirely on the leader to resolve the issue.

4. Letting Go of the Need to ‘Fix’ Everything

Timestamp: [03:58]

Tara introduces the “second point,” urging leaders to “let go of responsibility of fixing the problem.”
She offers reassurance: "I hope that actually this helps you just breathe a sigh of relief."
— Tara McCausland [04:10]
Leaders can best serve by supporting, guiding, and connecting—rather than feeling sole responsibility for outcomes.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

"See yourself as a first responder...you likely will be the first stop for many people who have just had a discovery or disclosure in their marriage."
— Tara McCausland [01:18]
"You are an important part of the care team, but you are not the team."
— Tara McCausland [02:56]
"All of the healing that's going to need to take place is not going to take place just there in your office."
— Tara McCausland [03:04]
“Pointing them to God as their primary source of relief.”
— Tara McCausland [03:30]
"Let go of responsibility of fixing the problem. I hope that actually this helps you just breathe a sigh of relief."
— Tara McCausland [04:10]

Timestamps for Key Segments

[01:08]: Tara begins with the "first responder" analogy.
[02:00]: Importance of leader education.
[02:56]: Explaining the team approach to care.
[03:30]: Directing individuals to Christ as the source of hope.
[03:58]: Encouragement to let go of fixing everything.

Summary Flow and Tone

Tara McCausland’s remarks, warmly introduced by Kurt Frankham, are empathetic and practical, aimed at Latter-day Saint leaders feeling underprepared for the complexities of pornography use disclosures. The tone is reassuring and empowering, emphasizing relief from the unrealistic expectation to "fix" everything, while underscoring the spiritual and logistical supports leaders can offer.

Conclusion

This episode provides a clear, actionable framework for church leaders: be the compassionate first responder, seek education, rely on a support network—including specialists—and always point those struggling towards Christ. Tara’s analogy, expert insights, and gentle encouragement offer timely, much-needed guidance for anyone in a church leadership role facing these sensitive issues.

For more resources and the full summit, visit leadingsaints.org/liberating.

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Transcript3 lines

[00:00]
A
Hey everyone, this is Kurt Frankham with Leading Saints. I just want to drop in your podcast feed real quick a clip from an upcoming virtual summit that we're putting on called Liberating Saints Virtual Summit. And this is from an episode I did with Tara McCausland, and she is phenomenal, gave a great presentation. And I also just want to give you a flavor of this virtual summit that's coming up and encourage you to go register for for free. This is. These are such awesome online conferences that don't require you to travel anywhere, to book a hotel, to figure out flights. You just can attend anywhere in the world and benefit from this content. And we're talking about how to minister to individuals who are struggling with pornography. And again, this is free to register for to get all the access to each daily presentation. And Tara McCausland is one of those presentations and she talks about in this clip, see seeing yourself as a first responder. So check out the clip and then go to leadingsaints.org liberating all the links are in the show notes to register for free. So take it away, Tara.
[01:08]
B
Okay, so point number one is to see yourself as a first responder. Now, I think most of us are familiar with what a paramedic does, right? So when there's for instance, a car crash, a paramedic might be one of the very first people on scene to help with the immediate distress, to help stabilize, and then they shuttle that person off, quite literally, often to specialized care where they might need surgery from a surgeon that has again, specialized education to deal with whatever the emergency is. And so, like a paramedic, I invite you to see yourself as this first responder. You likely will be the first stop for many people who have just had a discovery or disclosure in their marriage. And so for you, first of all, in order to do your best work, you need to get a little bit of education. Now, I want to back up and say, I know you've got your work cut out for you and I'm so grateful for your service. You didn't ask for this. You weren't specially trained to deal with a lot of the issues that are coming to you. But I encourage you to get some education specifically around this issue because I know how prevalent it is. And you just start with the nine best practices. If you're like, I don't even know where to start again, it's succinct, easy to digest. So get some education about the impact pornography on marriages and families. Start there and then be prepared to direct those individuals to to specialized support. So you'll. Your role as a faith leader, as a bishop, is to provide that spiritual guidance. And then you're going to shuttle them off to someone with more specialized education so that they can get the care that they need. And I often like to say you are an important part of the care team, but you are not the team. So all of the healing that's going to need to take place is not going to take place just there in your office. But you will also do your best work when you can direct them to Christ and point them to the hope and the healing that's available through Jesus Christ. So seeing yourself as that first responder and helping them get a clear understanding of who they are as a son or daughter of God, pointing them to God as their primary source of relief, and then make sure you're directing them to specialized support. Okay, so this next point is closely tied to the first point, which is to let go of responsibility of fixing the problem. And I hope that actually this helps you just breathe a sigh of relief.
[04:16]
A
All right, there's the clip again. Go to the Show Notes. For all the links, go to leadingsaints.org liberating to register for this free virtual summit called the Liberating Saints Virtual Summit.